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It’s gotten easier to talk to his classmates, Riz finds. The Bad Kids have given him real friendships that are varied and that cause him to learn how to properly interact with different types of people.
Now, he has an acquaintance in almost every class. Someone to walk to his locker with while discussing the homework, someone to help with stealth techniques, someone to do a group project with. All different people.
Right now, he is talking with someone. He’s slightly befriended the person who has the locker next to him. It’s a break time, and the two are talking about their opinions on upcoming school event. It’s a simple, nice conversation. Riz doesn’t even know their name, but he enjoys talking to them.
A familiar presence walks up beside him, and he continues talking. He doesn’t need to check who it is, he knows Kristen’s footsteps. She scuffs her feet against the floor when walking, and it’s because she says that the sound is fun on her ears. Riz is thankful for this. It makes her easy to identify in a scenario where he could be blinded.
She nudges his shoulder with her elbow. “Flirting with the halfling girls again, Riz?” She laughs lightheartedly.
The girl in front of him also laughs at the joke. Riz looks at Kristen, baffled. Has anything in this conversation seemed like flirting? Kristen hasn’t even been here for the past two sentences.
She’s not being malicious in her comments, he knows this. Nevertheless, his heart rate quickens. Kristen knows of his distaste for romance. He’s told the Bad Kids not to tease him about this sort of stuff. He doesn’t particularly want a repeat of his made-up ‘romance partner’.
Riz tried to laugh along with them, clearly doing it well enough that neither of them say anything about it. He notices that his hands are getting clammier. Class is starting soon anyways, so it’s probably best to wrap up this conversation.
A few moments later, when Kristen and the halfling girl have started up their own conversation, Riz gets his books out of the locker and waves them goodbye.
The interaction leaves his skin crawling uncomfortably, reminding him vaguely of staring at his bone white not-reflection.
~
The Bad Kids have a movie night after school that day. It’s at Mordred Manor, as always. When Riz arrives, Adaine and Kristen have already prepared the blankets in the living room, and Ragh is pouring bags of popcorn into bowls.
He’s the first one there. Unusual, for him, but his mom made him take a break early. She was probably right, but that doesn’t mean he has to love the idea.
The frustration at being pulled away from a case quickly melts when Adaine waves him hello. He slides his shoes off and walks into the familiar setup. Adaine puts each blanket in the same spot every time, despite the inevitability that they will end up on opposite sides of the room when the movie is over.
Kristen runs over to him when she notices that he’s entered the room. She hands him a slightly warped plastic bag of candy. It’s clear that she’s been tugging at it, trying to rip it open.
“I can’t find the scissors, I think Aelwyn took them to trim her bangs or something. Can you open this?” She asks.
Riz doesn’t know why she asked him, but he tries anyways. His (lack of) strength fails him, and the bag stays closed. He gives up on using his hands and resort to ripping open the bag with his teeth. Immediately, it opens. Some sour gummy candy flies out from the release of force, and they both laugh about it.
He hands it back to Kristen after she picks up the pieces that fell, popping them into her mouth. She thanks him with a mouthful of gummies.
Soon enough, everyone else arrives. They all settle into their usual places on the couches and floor. The movie for tonight is some sort of cliche teen drama, which is always good to make fun of as a group.
Throughout the movie, Fabian complains about the terrible writing. Everyone knows that he’s just complaining for the fun of it. Fig cheers at every messy fight the overdramatic characters have. Riz watches his friends, more entertained with their reactions than he is with the movie.
He’s not paying much attention to the movie itself, but a sentence said by the main character’s best friend snaps him back into focus.
“Flirting with the elven girls again?” A character has hasn’t bothered to learn the name of jokes. The main character shoves him with a smile on their face, used to the banter.
The feeling from earlier returns to Riz. The blanket he’s under is suddenly too warm for him, and so is the body heat radiating off of Fabian who is sat to his right. He wipes his hands into his pants, trying to get them to stop sweating so much.
Even with the removal of the blanket, the burning sensation beneath his skin continues. If he didn’t know better, he’d think it was some sort of spell or curse.
After a few minutes of futile efforts in trying to calm his body down, Riz excuses himself to the bathroom. Some of his friends glance at him quizzically, but he disregards that. He just has to stop himself from the staticky burning. Running tap water of his hands should help, he thinks.
The bathroom isn’t that far away. He’s thankful that the adults usually keep to themselves during movie nights. If Jawbone had seen him, then he’d definitely know that something is up.
Riz shuts the door behind him and turns on the tap. He’s distracted from the burning, but he can still tell it’s there. What even caused this?
Kristen joked that he was flirting with a girl he was talking to. He got uncomfortable. Someone in the movie did almost the exact same thing to another character. The character reacted amicably. Usually, movies are generalized to how people would usually react to things. Riz reacted abnormally.
He knows why, of course. He just doesn’t really want to accept it. Kristen makes those jokes with the Bad Kids all the time, and they all laugh it off. Why should it be different with him? He should grow up and stop being so sensitive over a two second joke.
He has told them not to make those jokes though. Are they doing exposure therapy or something? Trying to get him to slowly learn to stop having these reactions to it? No, his friends wouldn’t do that. Kristen probably just slipped up.
That doesn’t stop it from hurting, though. The implications of the joke upset him more than he wants. Why had Kristen said ‘again’? How many halfling girls has she seen him interact with?
Does she think he likes Penny? Just the thought of that makes his skin crawl even more. Maybe it wasn’t that deep. He’s overthinking it. He’s definitely overthinking it.
Still, he doesn’t like it. It wasn’t that hard to get used to Gorgug liking boys, was it? Riz doesn’t understand why it’s different for him.
There it is. He has tried to prevent this train of thought for a while, but now that it’s started it’s not going to stop. He’s comparing Gorgug’s attraction to his own lack of it. A lack of romantic and sexual attraction. He knows the words for that. He’s been to the queer alliance with Kristen to help out for an event she had planned. He’s read books to understand his friends further.
He focuses his eyes on the flowing water, hands still beneath it.
Aromantic. Asexual. Little to no romantic attraction. Little to no sexual attraction. Perfect descriptors of his feeling.
There’s a nagging voice in the back of his head, reminding him that his dad was a late bloomer. Somehow, he can’t bring himself to listen to it.
Riz turns the tap off, and stares at his reflection. His entirely normal reflection. He knows that Baron was defeated ages ago, but it feels like he’s finally free from them. Riz has done what he never even considered himself doing.
He repeats the two words out loud. They feel odd on his tongue, but they also bring a sense of comfort, like they were supposed to be there.
Feeling bold and confident, Riz leaves the bathroom. His hands are still damp, but he welcomes the cool feeling. The movie has been paused and the lights have been turned on so someone could refill the bowls.
His chest starts to churn with anxiety, but he ignores it as best he can. Tracker sits back down with her replenished bowl of chips, and everyone settles back into their spots. Fig asks if Riz can flick off the lights, since he’s next to the switch anyways. Instead, he walks over to the group.
They look at him, confused. He takes a few failed deep breaths, preparing himself. People usually wait a bit before they come out, right? Oh well, it’s not like he can back down now.
“I’m aromantic. And asexual.” He says, and it feels like he can breathe again. A weight that he didn’t think would be that heavy is gone from his shoulders. Quickly, before anyone can respond, he explains what the words mean.
The first person to react is Ragh. He cheers proudly, throwing in some ‘hoot growl!’s. Fig jumps up to hug him. Everyone reacts so positively, and he almost feels like he could cry. After everyone settles down, Kristen hugs him and whispers an apology. Even without saying what she’s apologizing for, Riz knows.
She tells him that he’s now legally obligated to join the school’s queer alliance. Fig protests, saying various things against the law. Everyone laughs.
He could never be more thankful for his friends.