Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Have you ever woken up with the worst hangover EVER even though you have never touched a beer bottle in your life? Funny question. Because that is EXACTLY how I feel right now. I don’t know what happened to me, but the only thing I remember is that I drank some coffee at a local Café and then just blacked out. I maybe could have sworn there were a pair of black-suited men sitting at the table next to mine when I received my order. But when I returned from the backroom to continue my overpriced breakfast they were gone.

Call me crazy but I have this deep, spiteful, suspicious feeling that THEY have something to do with my headache. Because I do remember vividly that my coffee suddenly had this weird bitter aftertaste to it when previously it wasn’t there, followed by my feeling dizzy just a few moments later and hitting the table with my face.

I swear if I open my eyes and my kidneys are missing, I’m gonna…

“What the heck is that?” I hear someone ask.

“I don’t know but it's certainly the strangest bug I have ever seen. What are those two holes in the middle of his face? Are those eyes.” Another voice asks.

The fuck...I think to myself as I slowly open my eyes. My vision is a bit blurry at first, as expected but I at least can make out three different colored shapes looking down at me. Two of which have to be the ones who just talked, because one sounded male and the other female.

“Well, that answers that question.” Another voice responds. Also sounding male judging by his voice.

Whoa.” The Female one reacts. “Look at its eyes. They are white at the edges but blue and black in the middle. They look a bit strange. I’ve never seen something like this.” She comments, sounding quite astonished.

The hell? Are these people high or something? Am I waking up inside an alley? Are those junkies? What the fuck are they talking about? I again think to myself before I rapidly blink my eyes to force them to focus. Watching as my eyes slowly adjust themselves until I…

I pause. A Bee, a Beetle and a…moth? Are staring down at me. Looking equally confused as I am.

“Ugh…” I groan. “I’m not getting paid enough to deal with this shit,” I comment while massaging my aching head with a free hand. Fucking hangover.

It’s another fucking Tuesday, isn’t it?

Chapter Text

I sigh as I take my seat behind my desk.

Another day, another dime. I think to myself, which would be true If I wasn’t paid in BERRIES!

Yes, FUCKING berries man. Even after working here for a whole week I still can’t believe this shit. These guys use BERRIES as their fucking currency. You would think that using berries as a currency would be a really bad idea. But apparently, these things can last for a “really” long time at worst and literal years at best. Out in the open, IN THE FUCKING SUN!

But whatever, if these arthropods put a value on some bloody berries, then who am I to judge? Money is money after all, no matter what shape it takes. But still, what the fuck? I mean who is stopping someone from just growing these in a field? I mean I saw a couple of plantations full of them outside the city. Guarded mind. But even so, it just takes one clever soul from just taking a couple of seeds and planting them in their backyards, and BOOM. They are literally growing money for free.

But I digress. Today is just going to be another day of boringly stacking papers. It's nice to know that some things don’t change no matter where you are: Paperwork, bureaucracy, stamping and stacking shit, all that jazz. So there is at least something to give me comfort and the fact that my kidnappers were at least kind enough to encase me along with my phone and laptop bag with all of my stuff in it, which includes the aforementioned laptop, my wallet, and my portable Bluetooth speaker for some reason. I didn’t even know I carried it with me on that day. But now it doesn’t matter.

Either way, I keep all of my stuff hidden underneath my desk because I don’t trust Vi to NOT go through my stuff. Like that one time when I caught her red-handed doing so. Or black hands because she is a bee.

Yeah everyone is a bug and whatever happened to me also resulted in me becoming small, matching their size. Though I still managed to be a bit bigger compared to most of them, so I at least have that going for me still. Which fits perfectly because I am (as far as I know) the last living member of my species which these arthropods call “The Giants”.

Unimaginative I know, but also quite accurate from their point of view. Like have you seen an average-sized human syringe? It’s MASSIVE! I’ve seen it because Mister Moth's professor showed me one. In a picture, I mean. So close enough.

Which also adds to the dozens or so questions I have.

Like what the hell happened? I mean I probably know what happened. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what has happened to humanity when you take into consideration how DUMB and STUPID we can be. So, it’s nice to know that we at least chose to go out with a “BANG”

If my theory is correct that is.

But that still doesn’t make it less depressing. Though, it would have been cool to at least fight a couple of ghouls or deathclaws on my way out. But now? Yeah, I can scratch that. My god have mercy on my soul, if he's still around that is.

“Good morning, Melvin.” Eetl suddenly greets me as the blue Beetle enters. “How was your day?” He asks all cheerful and such.

I shrug. “Oh, I don’t know, the same as yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that, AND THE DAY BEFORE THAT!” I was slowly getting louder which forced Eetl to stop me.

“OK, OK I GET IT. You’re still trying to…adjust yourself to your new life here.” He comments, making me look at him flatly.

“That is the understatement of the century,” I reply, making him sigh.

“Look…I…obviously can’t imagine what you are going through right now. But the reason why me and Artis even hired you was to give you the chance of a fresh new start. To feel welcomed and accepted and to be part of this community. I know it's hard but… if you just need someone to talk to, I’m here for that.” He explains, sounding genuine about his statement. As always.

I sigh. “Yeah, I know, and I thank you for that,” I reply and just keep it at that. “Well, I have some work to do if you don’t mind boss,” I add while already grabbing the first paper, or rather LEAVES since that’s what they use here.

He nods. “Alright, me and Artis will be at the back if you need us.” He replies before walking off.

Ahh finally, some peace and solidarity.

“HELLO TO YOU ALL!”

God damn it.

“HEROES OF BUGARIA COMING THROUGH!” Vi announces as enters the room followed by Kabbu and stoic companion Leif. The same three bugs who first found me inside that cave sealed inside this “Metal Cocoon” as they call it, and now I am also living with them under the same roof.

Because I have nowhere else to go really.

At first, Vi tried to make me pay rent for staying there, which got immediately assassinated by both Kabbu and Leif who were happy to just have me there because again, I have nowhere else to go.

Which is really nice for them but I am planning to eventually move out and get my own place once I have enough “BERRIES!” When this will be I have no idea, so only time will tell.

“Vi, can you please stop staying that whenever we enter a public building? It's…not a very humble thing to say you know?” Kabbu criticizes.

“Also it's getting annoying,” Leif also argues. Putting his two cents into the topic as well, or his two BERRIES rather.

Ahh yes, those three. Quite the colorful cast of characters, and are apparently the reason why Bugaria (silly name) is in a state of peace from what I heard. Apparently, they defeated some characters called “The Wasp King” and helped a queen back on her throne. Returning peace to the land.

I have no idea who this “Wasp King” character is or what happened and I honestly I couldn’t care less either. I already have enough questions and problems on my plate. Like the anxiety I constantly feel whenever a group of bugs keeps staring at me as if I was the 8th wonder of the world. Which in their eyes I very much might be.

Doesn’t make me feel any better though.

Vi huffed. “Honestly you two, have a bit of pride, will ya? We are heroes after all.” She states while puffing her chest out.

Kabbu sighs. “I know, but you don’t have to shout it into the heavens. Everybody already knows. So you don’t have to rub it in.” He replies, sounding a bit tired before noticing me.

“Oh Hello, Melvin. Good to see you this early for once.” He greets me happily.

Yeah because someone keeps mowing their fucking lawn at 6:30 in the morning. I think to myself.

“Yo” I casually greet him back.

I like this guy. He is steadfast, too much of a goody two shoes at times but otherwise a stand-up guy. Which I can’t say for Vi over here. I mean she is alright but she sometimes acts like a spoiled brat. Plus she really likes money which I guess I can relate to. I mean who doesn’t like money right?

And then we have Leif. He is…stoic, has the personality of a rock sometimes, and is very reserved and a bit quiet. Only really talks when he has to. Which I can respect. Though he always refers to himself in third person for some reason. Not sure what’s up with that, but again who cares? His an ice mage so there is that as well.

The fact that magic exists now doesn’t surprise me. Realistically nothing can at this point.

“Uhm…Hello?” Kabbu suddenly calls out. “Are you still there?” He asks while waving a hand in front of me.

I blink. “Wha…? What is it?” I react by looking at him.

“You were kinda staring off into the distance there for quite a while. Are you sure you're alright?” He asks, looking a bit concerned.

“Huh? Oh yeah, yeah. Everything is fine. I just have a lot of things running through my mind, that's all.” I reply while also dismissing his concerns. “By the way. Looking at these new “leaf” fliers that just came in. A lot of them just seem to be basic fetched quests but a few of them also highlight a few monsters that are causing trouble out in the wilderness. You can just go ahead and have a look at a few of them if you want. Saves me a bit of time to first pin them on the message boards.” I explain while spreading them out on the table for the trio to browse over.

“Uhm…” Kabbu reacts. A bit confused at my sudden mood switch. He just has to get used to that.

“Ugh…fetch quests.” Vi sighs. “Those are the worst. I’ll take monster hunting any day because those at least pay well.” She comments while looking some of them over.

“Now, now. We shouldn’t just dismiss these just because they are “boring”. There are a lot of bugs out there that need help and it is our job as an Exploration Team to help them. Even if it is just finding a child's lost toy. It's all about helping others, not just the reward.” He explains, almost sounding like a preacher who is trying to sell you the importance of tithing and doing good.

Which is basically what he said, minus the tithing part.

Vi though just rolls her head while still silently looking through some of the fliers in front of her.

“Now which one has the biggest bounty.” I can hear her muttering to herself.

Kabbu sighs while Leif's antennas suddenly perk up as picks up one of the fliers.

“This looks interesting.” He calls out in his flat monotone voice.

“What is it?” Kabbu asks while looking at him.

“It’s a request for assistance. Apparently, an archaeological team has discovered a new Giants artifact near the deadlands, and they need help in transporting it back to their outpost so that they can study it further.” Leif explains before looking at this team.

“Really? Another one so soon?” Kabbu asks.

“Seems like it. They are even willing to pay a lot of berries for anyone who can escort them. As it's listed to be one of the few artifacts that have been found which are still fully intact.” He adds which immediately caused Vi antennas to go on full mast.

“Did you say LOTS of BERRIES?” She asks with sparkles in her eyes.

“Look what you’ve done.” Kabbu sighs while facepalming.

“Don’t be like that. We could use the extra berries for a new set of chairs and furniture. I mean Chompy has recently chewed through a leg from one of our chairs. Not to mention the coffee table, the closet, and the welcoming rug outside our door and…

“OK, OK, I GET IT,” Kabbu shouts. “You're right, we could use the extra berries.” He sighs, admitting defeat.

“So we're picking this mission right?” Vi asks.

Leif nods. “Yes, we are.” He replies before perking up. “Hey, don’t you want to come with us?” He then asks while looking at me.

I blink. “Why?” I ask.

“Well, it’s a giant artifact. No one has more knowledge about them than you. Since you claim to be one of them.” He points out.

I love the word “claim” because he still has a hard time believing the fact that I used to be BIG once. I mean I still have a hard time believing the fact that I was drugged, stuffed in a cryopod (I think) which then got shrunk down to then match the size of an average bug.

What are the fucking odds am I right? Me, shrunken down, the last of my species in some distant post-apocalyptic future. I’d be screaming right now if I hadn’t done that already after my first night here. I had to sneak out in the dead of night and out into the wilderness to make sure no one could watch me, and I was sure I was alone I let it out all. Wails, screams, and curses that would even make the devil run and hide, all that jazz.

There is now this legend going around of some terrible beast stalking the lands outside the city attacking anyone who ventures too far out into the wilderness during night. All thanks to me. I even managed to wake up half the kingdom during my wild tantrum. I know this because most of the houses had their lights on when I came back.

What an amazing first impression. First night spent in this world and I already contributed to this community by creating a brand new cryptid for these arthropods to fear, by complete accident. Am I good or am I good? Though jokes aside I should probably get back to Leif’s question before Kabbu here is going to have a heart attack for “worrying” too much over me.

“I can't,” I finally reply. “I got this job a week ago. Eetl and Artis are probably going to fire me if I just start spelunking with you three, and I have no idea where to even start looking for a new job if I lose this one. So sorry.” I explain, hoping I can just leave it at that.

I don’t want to leave and I certainly don’t want to go to a place called “The Deadlands”. Plus I am still not fully over the fact that I am now stuck here as possibly the only living member of my species. I still have to…

“Actually I don’t mind.” Eetl suddenly walks in.

For fuck’s sake…

“You can join them if you want. Me and Artis can hold down the fort for a few days while you go help those bugs with identifying the artifact that they found.” He suggests, basically taking Leif's side on this.

“But I don’t wanna go.” I almost whined. “I’m probably going to get lost or even attacked by a wild monster on my way there or jumped by some dickhead. I don’t have an exoskeleton to protect myself like you lot and I don’t exactly look ‘subtle’ either.” I point out, trying to lay out an excuse as to why I shouldn’t go. I mean I am still trying to adjust to my new existence as a living relic.

The last thing I need now is going out on a road trip to god knows where in a world that is suddenly a lot bigger than I’m used to.

Even the freaking grass is the size of trees now.

“Don’t worry, that’s why you’ll be going along with Team Sneakmouth. One of the most seasoned exploration teams we have. You’ll be in safe hands with them.” He explains.

“Not to mention HEROS.” Vi chimes in, again looking mighty proud.

“You know…” Kabbu began.” We really shouldn’t force him to come along if he really doesn’t want to. The mission simply states that they need help escorting the artifact back to the village and nothing more.” He points out. See why I like him the most? He always has everybody's back. Even towards a living fossil like me.

What a champ. Though sadly it wasn’t enough.

“But Kabbu, he could still help in Identifying what this artifact is and therefore make the lives of those researching them a lot easier. Don’t you want to help them out as well, and maybe find out what that artifact even is?” He asks. I feel like he is just pushing this for his own curiosity, or maybe trying to test me.

Though sadly to my horror, Kabbu begins to think. “Well, I can see your point there.” He mutters while tapping his chin in thought.

“Plus…” Leif began. Can he maybe shut up now?”…this can also be a perfect opportunity to show him the rest of Bugaria. To introduce him to new places and new bugs. To show him more than just the inside of our home. What do u think?” He suggests, again trying his best to convince him of his argument.

“You know, that is not entirely necess…”

“You know what, I think you're right.”

You son of a bitch.

“Having him cooped up inside our house or here all day can’t be good for him. If he wants to get over his anxieties and social problems then we need to show him that there is nothing to fear out there. That Bugaria is a beautiful and peaceful place…well…give or take a few areas.” He states while swaying his hand a bit on that last part.

“I am not particularly afraid of your world, I am still trying to adju…”

But I was ignored, AGAIN.

“Well, I guess it's settled then,” Eetl announces before looking at me. “Don’t worry, me and Artis can keep things running while you go out with Team Snakemouth over here on this mission. Just make sure that you stick with them at all times and you shouldn’t get lost. Sounds good yes?” He asks with a smile.

“Peachy,” I reply with a frown.

“Great. So when are you all leaving?” Eetl asks.

“Well right now actually, though I believe we first need to put some things together before we go. Do we still have enough supplies back home?” Kabbu asks while looking at Leif.

“We think so.” He replies in his usual third-person speech. “Though we think a bit of shopping is in order, just to be sure.” He replies.

“Good call. Will head to the commercial district first and then prepare for the mission.” Kabbu calls out.

Both Vi and Leif nod in agreement before they are about to head out until Kabbu stops. “Oh and don’t worry. We'll make sure to also include whatever it is that you need.” He assured me making Vi frown.

“Wait, why are we buying for him?” Vi argues and for once I have to agree.

“You know, If I am now forced to go on this trip with you three, I can pay for my own provisions. Just tell me how much it all cost and I’ll pay you when you get back.” I promise. Allowing myself at least that much dignity and control.

Kabbu nods. “If you want. Just wait for a moment here, ok? We'll pack everything for you before we head out alright?” He replies before finally leaving for good, with Vi and Leif behind him.

I bury my face behind my hands and let out a long drawn-out groan.

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m sure it’s going to be fine. I mean look at the bright side. You get to see a bit of Bugaria besides just the Ant Kingdom. Reminds me of the days when I used to travel. Oh, those memories.” Eetl reminisces, losing himself.

I just groaned in response.

Chapter Text

“So… from your perspective, it was just a Gian-uh I mean a Human house?” Kabbu asks while looking over his shoulder as we continue to walk.

I just nod. “Yeah,” I replied and left it at that. Really, I already explained this to them when we were cresting over that ridge earlier. So, there is no point in repeating myself because I am not a fan of that. But man, thinking back on what I saw earlier I would have never guessed that the so-called “Dead Lands” are just the remains of someone's home. Even from that distance, and epically given its size (Because I am so much smaller now) I could tell that it probably used to be a house or at least a random building with only its massive walls still towering over the surrounding landscape. It's also aptly named “The Giant’s lair” according to Leif which is fairly accurate I supposed. I would easily be the size of a ‘god of war’ titan if I was still my regular size.

Man, how I miss that. 

But besides me reminiscing about the things I lost its honestly one of the most puzzling questions I still have, (not that any of my questions have been answered) like how the hell did they manage to shrink me? I mean stuffing me into a cryo pod with all of my stuff is one thing, but then shrinking it all down to be bug sized is a completely different beast. Did they somehow use a shrink-ray on me like in those movies? Is something like this even technologically feasible? Instead of curing cancer or aids, they spend their money and time on a fucking shrink ray. Those fucking bastards, and thanks to them I am not stuck here as a midget in fucking bug land.

I hope those bombs killed them first or whatever else forced us to go instinct.

I swear…

But now is not the time to get lost in thought or plan my vengeance on a group of people who are probably dead. For now, I am more seething at the fact that I had to come along on this mission against my input and spend all of my “BERRIES” on supplies and getting this green-colored cloak for myself so that bugs can stop gawking at me or asking questions.

Certainly not in the mood for those. I am slightly miffed at all of this in case somebody can’t tell.

“How far to this camp?” I ask as my legs and feet are starting to get sore. I really need a break but I am both too prideful and spiteful at the moment to say it out loud. On the five stages of grief, I am currently going through anger in case you all can’t tell.

“We already passed it I think. We are going to the excavation first since that’s where we needed. I think I already told you that earlier.” He explains without looking over his shoulder this time.

Well, that’s great. I think to myself before I pull my phone out. Yeah, I brought it with me just in case I need to take some pictures of whatever it is I am supposed to identify. See I’m smart.

“Hey, what’s that?” Vi suddenly asks next to me.

“My phone,” I reply as I turn it on. Watching as the Samsung logo pops up followed by its theme. Causing Vi’s and Leif’s antennas to perk up.

“Did you all hear that?” Leif asks behind me, sounding a bit surprised.

“Again, just my phone,” I reply once more.

“It can play music?” Vi again asks looking up at me.

“It can do a lot of things.” I again keep it vague because I don’t feel like explaining shit to them. Keeping my focus on my phone as I turn on its cameras to see if they still work.

“Ok, what kinds of things?” Vi continues while crossing her arms.

“Not too important right now to explain,” I reply while busy testing the zoom and various filters these cameras have and quickly feeling quite satisfied with the results. Thankfully everything still seems to be working correctly somehow after a few thousand years or more in stasis. Usually, this shit breaks after just a couple of years. But I guess I got lucky with this one.  

“AW COME ON!” Vi suddenly throws her arms up. “Just tell us. You're already living rent-free with the three of us so the least you could do is tell us what all of your stuff does.” She argues, clearly getting annoyed.

“Well for once we agree.” Leif suddenly chimes in. Doubling the pressure.

I probably shouldn’t be a dick to those who found and housed me.

So I sigh. “Fine, it’s a communications device. We use these to either call, video call, or text one another from long distances. But since I am the only human around it’s pretty much useless now for that. But it can also do other things, like taking pictures, recording videos, play music, or play games. So in a nutshell it’s a multimedia device and a pocket-size computer. It can even do your taxes if you have the right app for it. Very nifty.” I explain, giving them a basic overview of what a smartphone is. I think I did a good job.

“Wait, it can do all of THAT?” Vi asks in disbelief. Probably about the “doing your taxes” part as far as I know her.   

“We have our doubts though,” Leif interjects, being the skeptic that he is.

“Want a demonstration?” I ask while looking at Vi.

She nods. “You bet, you mentioned music earlier. Can that flat rectangular-looking thing really play music?” She asks while tilting her antennas.   

“Yes,” I reply. “Let me see what I can find then,” I reply before opening the app which holds all of my downloaded songs and playlists. Most of them are retro though. Ranging from the 80s to the early 90s because I am a sucker for old classics thanks to Vice City. That game introduced me to so many classic songs from the 80s as a kid alongside triggering my fascination for that decade in particular. I do still have a healthy number of more “modern songs” inside my phone. But again, most of them are just 80s alongside some orchestral pieces.  

Yeah, I am pretty much old-fashioned when it comes to music alright? So give me a break will ya. Different people, different tastes.

“Let me see, what is a perfect outdoor song,” I mutter to myself as I stop. Forcing the other three to halt as well as they waited. Looking at me with mild anticipation as I scroll through my extensive playlists to find the perfect song for this. I decided to go with “Deliverance” by “Bubba Sparxxx” because after a minute or so of searching I just gave up, and yeah I know it's not from the 80s but as I said not all of them are. Plus the tone of this song does fit the theme nicely.

The song quickly started to play as I continued to walk. Taking the lead for once and moving past my three escorts. Not minding their surprised expressions when hearing my phone playing music for the very first time.

Told you it can play music.

“He-hey WAIT!” Kabbu eventually calls out as they scramble to quickly catch up with me.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  

“…so what do you call that style of music again?” Vi asks next to me with her wings still buzzing with excitement.

“Classic Rock,” I replied after the song “Rock You Like a Hurricane” by” The Scorpion” finished playing. Returning the silence. I never expected a bee to be suddenly enthralled by the sound and riffs of an electric guitar. With her wings constantly buzzing on their own whenever the music picks up. Something even Kabbu and Leif seem to note judging by their looks but never bothered to call her out on. Probably because they don’t want to sound rude or something which in Kabbu’s case I can certainly see. Even if I only know him for over a week.

He is just far too nice or reserved for his own good in my opinion. But what do I know?   

Either way, back on the topic at hand in showing these anthropoids the magic (in the case of Vi) of human music. Both the good and the bad.

“Oh wait…” I suddenly realize. “You do like adventures, yes? I might have something you like. Something that combines the sense of adventure with rock.” I state while looking at her.

“Oh really?” She reacts with her antennas perking up.

“Sure, let me just play it for you and tell me if it's your cup of tea or not.” I state before playing the track “Lords of Iron” composed by “Antti Martikainen” An instrumental piece that is a mix of Celtic style music and rock. Giving it this epic, almost cinematic feel to it in my humble opinion.

Her wings immediately started to buzz on their own once the electric guitar started to play through the entire nine-minute-long track and really didn’t stop until the very end. I can tell that she likes it judging by the smile and slight bobbing of her head and the constant buzzing of her bee wings.

I guess I found Vi’s version of catnip. I wonder if other bees will have the same reaction as her when exposed to the sounds of an electric guitar. Well, only one way to find out. I need to find more bees to test this out.

“Wait, I think we're here.” Kappu suddenly calls out while rudely interrupting my train of thought.

I looked up from my phone to see what he meant only to be greeted by a small camp further down the hill and a decent number of ants digging around a large black object. Fucking finally. We continue our way down along the path before being greeted by one of the archeologists working here. A random ant lady whose name I didn’t bother to remember because for me they all look fucking the same anyway. That’s the problem with ants. Almost all of them look the same. The only way I can tell them apart is either by their clothing or accessories. If they even bother to wear any that is. Back at the Ant Capital, it's even worse. But at least here the one who is talking to us at least has the decency to wear a Pith Helmet to distinguish herself. The look of a stereotypical explorer, while the entire rest of her team who are still chipping away at the thing are all wearing simple mining helmets for whatever reason.

Outside, and on the surface.

But I won't question that. I am here to identify whatever trash they dug up and nothing else.

There is at least ONE bug I recognize here though, and that bug is none other than the local bookworm himself (even though he is a moth) Professor Neolith. Or as I dub him “the guy who couldn’t keep his hands to himself when I first met him.” Because seeing me, a living fossil of a long-dead race gave him a massive nerd boner when he first learned of my origins.

Do moths even get boners?

Either way, I guess it makes sense why he's here, being the queen's personal lackey of everything related to ancient artifacts and history. It is pretty much his job to study these things in the name of power and knowledge . Because what else could it be? We are dealing with royalty after all who are well known to be a royal pain in everybody's butts.

Nowadays it's politicians…well back in my days I mean. God, I need to stop thinking about that, or else I might accidentally create another folklore tale for these anthropoids to fear.

Can’t have that now, can we?    

“Oh, Team Snakemouth hello.” The moth suddenly calls out after finally seeing us.

“Hey Professor Neolith, what a surprise to see you.” Kabbu greets back once he takes note of his existence as well. Followed by Mister Stoic and the girl who throws a toy at her enemies.

Neolith waves us over to come closer underneath his makeshift tent where he is currently taking shade from the harsh midday sun. Gotta protect those fuzzy wings from drying out I suppose.

“Ah and it's Mister Melvin as well. Such a surprise to see you too. How are you faring?” He greets me with a friendly smile as we get closer.

“Well, salutations there too professor.” I greet him back. “And to answer your question, I’m fine, I guess. I wasn’t really planning to go out here but I was more or less forced to. I even had to watch these three murder some wildlife on our way here. It was quite the sight actually.” I reply before taking this opportunity to move underneath his tent to shield myself from the sun as well. God, it's hot today. But at least I can rest now. What a hike.

“Hey!” Vi suddenly calls out “We didn’t “murder” anything, we simply defended ourselves including you by the way. Those underlings attacked us first.” She points out, trying to justify the fact that she pretty much killed one of them by cracking its head wide open with her boomerang.

Like literally. I think I even saw a piece of brain flying off but I can’t be sure.

Either way I’ve seen worse. That’s just the internet for you.

I shrug. “Yeah, whatever. I killed a rat once with an old frying pan so I guess that makes it even.” I reply before leaning against a support beam which is made a single large twig by the way. Hey at least its stable.

“So uhm…” Kabbu suddenly began. “What exactly are you guys digging out over here?” He asks while pointing at the large black thing behind him.

“Good question.” He replies with his antennas raising upwards in thought. I quickly learned that those function basically the same as eyebrows to convey thoughts and expressions. Kinda neat I guess; it makes reading their thoughts and feelings a lot better. Maybe even more so compared to humans since these bugs are also capable of morphing their faces similar to humans to show off their expressions. Including opening and closing their eyes similar to eyelids which shouldn’t be possible.

But hey we are talking about anthropomorphic bugs over here. If there is one credit I will have to give these furry artists back in my time is that their artistic depictions of bugs were fairly accurate. Or at least for some of them.

I can’t fucking believe that I just praised furries of all people. Maybe those bombs should have killed me too or whatever it is that turned our species in because I just committed a terrible sin. God have mercy on me if you're still out there.

“…Melvin...MELVIN!” VI suddenly shouts causing me to jolt back to reality.

“We-WHAT!” I quickly react.

“Dude, you should really stop spacing out like that.” She chastises while looking visually annoyed.

“What? Why. What do you want?” I ask, mimicking her expression.

“Not me.” She points at Professor Neolith. “He was repeatedly trying to ask you if you maybe know something about this thing but you weren't responding. So I had to scream.” She explains while crossing her arms.

I blink. “Oh right, that’s why I am here isn’t it?” I respond before straightening myself out. “Alright, what do you know?” I ask while looking at the moth in question.

“Well…”He began. “I was hoping you could tell us maybe. I have studied and archived many giant artifacts over the moons but never come accross something like this. Its form and shape looks smooth and featureless, and more importantly fully intact in first glance. Usually these artifacts, either range from ‘barely intact’ to ‘largely indistinguishable’ which then leads to either weeks or months of constant study just to figure out where the individual pieces are supposed to go. Like a large puzzle. But this, this one seems to be perfectly intact, which on its own, is almost an archeological miracle. So again, I was hoping that maybe you can help us shed some light on what this thing is since you are the last living giant or human in this world. You’re very presence can shed so much light on so many mysteries.” He explains, almost ready to go into a full-on monologue on that last bit just like last time.

But he seems to be stopping himself for now.

Unlike last time where he ranted on about how ‘I can help them understand the giants (me) and act as a window to a world before the great awakening and yadi yadi yada. Basically referring to me as a walking talking lexicon. Which would be fine with if I wasn’t still dealing with the fact that I am now stuck here. All alone in anthropomorphic bug land with magic and shit. Still trying to deal with the reality that I may very well be the only human left on this planet. All thanks to some jackasses who thought that drugging and kidnapping a low-income loser from his mundane but simple existence to then shove him in a pod was a good idea.

And yes I am fully aware that my life before all of this was pretty average at best. It could have been better, but complaining about it now is pretty pointless so I am not even going to try. Plus I am starting to get angry again. I should really stop thinking about this.

“For fuck sake” I sigh.

“Uhm…excuse me?” Neolith reacts, sounding a bit confused.

“Huh? Oh no no no. I was just thinking out loud.” I quickly clarify. “And yes, I’ll take a closer look at the thing to see what it is. I mean it can’t be that hard. Even with my current skewed up perspective. I reply.

“Great.” He smiles with his antennas held high. “I can give you and quick tour around the artifact to not disturb the worker. Does this sound good?” He asks.

I nod. “Sure, if you insist…” I reply before giving him a gesture to lead the way. Which he gladly took.

We then took a quick tour around the site, listening to him rabble on and on about how this artifact was discovered, how it can advance their understanding of my peoples culture ect… Basically going on a full-on monologue session like last time, which doesn’t revolve around me, thank god. But even so, I decided fairly quickly to just shut him off from my mind as I focused more on the ant workers chipping away at the last layers of dirt underneath this thing to fully free it. Now those mining helmets I questioned earlier do start to make sense if they are also digging underneath this thing. But then again, what's the point if this thing does collapse on top of you? Especially when given its size. I doubt a simple mining helmet is going to protect you from getting crushed to death. But then again, these are ants so they can probably take it.

“So, how long have they been working here?” I heard Kabbu ask once I decided to refocus back on the conversation.

“About two weeks,” Neolith replies. “I only arrived here yesterday once heard they were almost done recovering it. I was planning to study it myself but as you heard me say earlier that didn’t happen. So I hope that our new friend over here can maybe shed some light on what this thing is. Even the smallest tidbit of information would be useful.” He replies before suddenly looking back at me with anticipation.

I pause. “Right,” I reply before giving this thing a thorough look. Which is what I should have done since the beginning of this tour but I was once again far too busy with my own thoughts to really do that. It’s a small quirk I have, one that also runs deep within my family. Especially on my uncle's side, but that’s a story for another time. If ever.

The first thing I “obviously” note (even when I wasn’t paying attention) is its long rectangular form. Its exterior is black, covered in scratches and dents for obvious reasons but besides that, it looks to be in a very good condition for whatever this thing is. Besides that is pretty featureless except for a very obvious-looking groove going over the entire width of this thing. This is probably where we should start.

“Hey, has anyone noticed this groove yet? It could be movable, like a cap or cover.” I point it out.

“Hmm, could be,” Neolith replies. “Hey, can you get some of your workers over here and see if they can pull this open?” He asks while turning his attention to that ant lady with the pit hat on top of her.

She nods. “Sure thing.” She replies before calling out a few names I will most probably forget later. So there is no point in mentioning them.

I watch as they start to place hooks and ropes along the edges of what I think is a cap before lining up and waiting for their supervisor to give them the “go-ahead”.

“Alright, now pull!” She orders followed by everyone's picking up their ropes and pulling, causing the cap to move, but only barely. But at least it did which confirms my idea. If only we had more Ant to throw at it.

“Hold on, let me help.” Kabbu suddenly calls out before joining the fry. Pulling with all his might alongside the others.

“We think it's moving now.” Leif comments, and indeed it does. Centimeter by centimeter, or inch by inch if you have autism. Slowly sliding away as pieces of dirt and sand start to fall off the further it goes. At least that explains why it's so stuck then.

We all watch with great anticipation as the cap gets moved further and further, exposing more dirt and sand along the way before finally, with one last pull, the cap finally snaps off forcing Kabbu and all the others to eat dirt or land on their asses. With Kabbu in particular getting someone’s abdomen directly on top of his face. Poor lad. I would have called him “gay” for that if all of these ants weren't girls. So, it's all good…for now, until I realized what was revealed which forced me to raise an eyebrow.

“Wait, is that a USB?” I ask to no one in particular.

“What’s a USB?” Neolith asks.

“It’s an external digital storage device. I think I have one of those inside my bag. You know, normal size and not as humongous as this one.” I point out as if he knows what a normal-size USB stick looks like.

“A digital storage device?” He pauses before looking thoughtful. “So wait, you mean to say that there might be something inside of?” He asks while looking at me.

I scratch my head. “Probably…” I pause. “If it still works that is…and even if it does, there is still the chance that the data inside might be corrupted. I mean how long has this thing been in the ground? Three, or four millennia maybe? You guys still haven’t given me a straight answer on that by the way, on just how much time has passed.” I point out while looking at the professor accusingly.

“That’s because no one knows when the “great awakening” happened. We only know that the ancient tribe of the roaches where the first according to their history. Beyond that, it's just a fog. No concrete evidence, just speculations and theories, nothing more.” He explains, which was the same as last time but only worded differently.  

In other words just overly useless and disappointing. But alas, maybe this USB has some answers stored inside of it, IF it still works of course.

“So uhm…what now? Can’t you maybe…like get whatever is inside out of it?” The professor asks.

“No.” I promptly reply. “I need my laptop for that. Plus, I don’t have a connector or an adaptor big enough that can fit THAT!” I point out. “So again, I can’t.” I finalize while resting my case.

“Well, that’s a shame.” He responds, looking quite disappointed.

“Hmm.” Vi suddenly began. “Maybe Doctors H.B can help. She is the smartest bee in the hive and an expert when it comes to old tech. Maybe she can extract something out of this.” She offers prompting Neolith to perk up.

“Yeah, that’s a great Idea. Why didn’t I think of this myself? Great Job Vi.” He congratulates her.

“Ah don’t mention it. I do have my moments sometimes.” She replies looking quite proud.

“Yeah, you certainly DO ,” Leif comments sarcastically, but Vi seems to ignore that.

“Hey, guys.” Kabbu suddenly joins us. “Miss Ava believes that we are now ready to move the artifact back to camp.” He announces while rejoining Vi and Leif’s side.

I quickly realize something. “Wait hold on.” I start, getting everyone’s attention. “Your camp is a little further away from here, yes?” I ask before receiving a simple nod from the moth. “Ok, so why didn’t you set up your camp right here, next to this dig site?” I ask, feeling a bit bewildered after realizing this.

“Well, it's actually quite simple.” He replies. “It's simply to risky. We are at the very edge of the deadlands. A place teaming with outlaws and horrible monsters. We’d be risking all of our equipment if we set up camp here. Especially from the former. It's better to be safe than sorry out here. Especially this close to the frontiers where anything can happen.” He explains.

“Ok then, so then why not hire some guards to protect you then?” I point out.

“That’s because the queen doesn’t allow her guards to venture this far away from the kingdom. It's too dangerous.” He again replies.

“Too dangerous?” I ask with a raised eyebrow. “But isn’t that their fucking job? To protect and serve? For fuck’s sake.” I reply while throwing my arms up at this bullshit.

“Well either way…” He began. “…we should get this artifact or USB as you called it back to Camp. You can tell Miss Ave to get her team ready for the transportation. Let's get this going.” He announces while looking at Kabbu.

I love how he just became the messenger bug by default.

“Sure thing,” He of course dutifully replies before fucking off again. Doing as he was told.

“So…what exactly are we supposed to be doing again? I mean the reason why we are even here.” Vi suddenly interjects, forcing Leif to sigh.

“Have you already forgotten?” He asks while looking at her. “We are here on escort duty.” He clarifies, which even I remember.

“Indeed, we posted that escort mission on the notice board for a reason. Since we can’t rely on the guards to protect us out here, we were hoping that we could at least attract a team or two from the exploration guild. Moving this artifact back to camp might draw in some unwanted attention towards us. So it’s better to be safe than sorry out here. You three will still get paid obviously, even if nothing happens.” He explains.

Vi sighs. “Alright, as long as the pay is good, I don’t care.” He replies. I concept I can totally get behind by. Wait, did he just said “you three” which means I don’t get paid for even wasting my time to walk all the way out here?

“MOTHERFUCKER!”

Chapter Text

“Ok and your names are?” I ask while looking up from my LEAF.

“Uhm Nemo.” The young blue-colored mantis replied.

“And I’m Bella” the equally bluish Butterfly girl also replied, though a tad bit more nervously than her friend next to her.

I bet they are more than friends with how close they are standing to one another or at least are in the process of getting there. But whatever. That’s none of my business.

Instead, I just nod, before writing their names down. Including the time and date even though I don’t have to. I’m just that efficient. Mainly because I had a similar job to this one before everything went to shit. That being a receptionist at a local motel. Yeah, I know not the most exciting job in the world, but frankly neither is this if you ignore the bugs so it all comes full circle.

I’m not going to bore you all with the details so I won't. But instead, I’ll just keep doing my thing and hope that both Eetl and Artis can appreciate it. Again, not really sure how they do things in bugland, but I’m not a bug so…I’ll take full advantage of my status as an outsider. If I do something wrong accidentally I can simply fake ignorance. 

It worked during last year’s vacation to Spain so I’m sure it’ll work here too. If not, then feign even MORE IGNORANCE. Works every time.

“Alright,” I call out. “All done.” I declare before handing them a copy of their information. “Take these to Eetl, he will give you further information and some ground rules. Afterward, you can visit Artis to get your explorer license. Welcome to the Explorers Association, Team Aqua.” I announce with a small friendly smile.

“Oh, thank you.” The mantis thanked me while taking the copies from me. “Come on Bella lets go.” He announces while looking at his “friend” next to him.

She just nods. “Her previous nervousness replaced with her own sense of excitement. I watch these two walk off before fully disappearing behind the hustle and bustle of other teams who are just hanging out or exchanging stories with one another. Leaving me once again to my lonesome.

I lean back. ”Ah time for a little break.” I mumble to myself as I allow myself to slouch against my sit while staring the at leaf-covered ceiling above me.

Did I already mention that this entire building is just made of leaves and dried sticks? Yeah, quite literally in fact, and don’t even get me started on some of the other building around here, like Team Sneakmouth’s house for example, its just a cardboard box flipped upside down. Literal trash in fact and it's not just them. Almost every home in this town is either made of twigs and leaves or the literal remnants of human garbage.

Not sure how to feel about this. But I guess you could call this “recycling” at its finest. Another man’s trash and another man's treasure after all, or in this case bugs.    

Fuck I am never going to get used to this.

I was about to whip out my phone and maybe play some tunes when Eetl suddenly decided to enter my field of view. His bright blue carapace sticking out like a sore thumb against the green-colored walls around us. Most bugs just blend in easily while he always stand out like a brightly colored Christmas ornament. Sure, I might have seen butterflies that are a lot more colorful then he is but, but they just lack the unadulterated contrast and vibrancy that is his navy blue exoskeleton has. Why am I complaining about this? Well, who cares? My mind my rules.

Imma bitch and complain until the world ends a second time or whenever I get shoved into another pod. 

Yeah, I am still salty about that one.

“Hey there Melvin.” Eetl greets me, rousing me from my thoughts.

I blink. “Hey Eetl.” I lazily greet him back.

“So, how’s it going?” He asks, sounding quite cheerful.

“Fine, I guess. Did you already talked to the newbies I just sent you?” I ask back.

He nods. “Yeah, I did. Just gave them a couple of pointers. Artis is going to be filling in for me for a short while since I’ll be gone out for a brief moment.” He explains.

You see, normally this would be my cue to maybe ask him where he is going and why. But sadly I couldn’t care less, because I am still annoyed by the fact that I went on that whole ass mission yesterday with zero benefits for my efforts besides waking up with sore legs this morning. I even forgot to take pictures. The only reason why I even bothered to bring my phone with me in the first place.

“So…” He suddenly began. “How was the mission? Did you manage to identify the artifact?” He asks curiously.

I nod. “Yeah, sure. It turned out to be an old USB stick. Though I have no idea if it still works. Vi did inform me earlier this morning that the USB was carted off to the Bee Hive for further study. So, I guess that’s their problem now. Not mine.” I reply before leaning back against my chair once more.

“Speaking of bees, have you seen Team Snakemouth this morning? They are usually always the first to arrive, but today I haven’t even seen or heard of them for the whole day. Do you know where they are?” He questions while tilting his head a bit.

Wait why does he care?

“They left early this morning to travel to a place called “Defiant Root”. Apparently it's a town building right underneath a Bee Hive. But you probably already know that.” I explain before waving my hand dismissively.

“Ah, I see.” He comments. “Probably has something to do with this artifact.” He mused before shaking his head.

“Anyway, I need to go. Need to pick up a package from the post office. Shouldn’t take too long.” He replies before finally leaving for the door.

“Sure, I’ll hold down the fort till then,” I reply as I watch him leave. “Well, it's not like I have anything better to do.” I then mumble to myself before pulling up my phone.

“Well, shit.” I curse when I realize how low the battery meter is. “Only 12%.”

“Well, time to visit that magical blue crystal again rooted just outside the entrance.” I say out loud with a sigh before getting off my seat and walking around my desk to head into the harsh, harsh world of ‘sticking out like a sore thumb’.

I always hated being the center of attention and being the last living member of a long-dead species just makes this ten times worse for me. I always hated the feeling at being stared at by so many people, which goes all the way back to when I had to perform on those school stage plays when I was still a kid. Having so many eyes on me just gives me anxiety. You would think that me working as a receptionist at Bugaria’s number one adventurer guild…or rather its ONLY adventures guild would be detrimental to my social problems. But no, it’s a bit different. You see I am occupying a position of power. Whoever wants to come in has to go through me first, and that doubles for new recruits who want to join the guild. Because if they stare for too long or cause too much trouble simply for my appearance, I can just deny them entry and tell them to go away. Some may call this an “abuse of power” but I call it “leverage”.

I simply leveraging my position to make my life a little bit easier. Sound simple? Yes. Because it's equally as simple to charge my phone in just a few seconds thanks to fucking magic.

Yeah, there is a crystal rooted just outside the entrance which I can use to charge up my devices. Yeah did I ever mention that? I stumbled upon this fact when I accidentally touched it with my phone and saw that my battery was back at a 100 percent somehow.

I was shocked at first, obviously, but quickly decided to not question it because…well fucking magic. Plus I don’t even know if this will work again or if the first one was just a fluke. Well, only one way to find out.

“I swear if this explodes…”

“Hey Melvin!” Vi voice suddenly calls out which nearly made me drop my phone.   

That fucking bee man.

I turn around. “Oh, it's your three. Back so soon?” I call out as I watch them walk towards me.

“Well yeah,” Vi replied, looking quite annoyed.

“What’s up with her?” I ask while pointing at her.

“Well…” Kabbu began.

“We had to travel to the hive just to be told to go tell you that Doctor H.B wants to talk to you. In other words, a complete waste of time.” Leif replies, also sounding quite annoyed.

Wow, emotions.  

“Well, that sucks,” I reply.

“You have no idea,” Vi states before giving off a long-drawn-out sigh. I can tell she looks physically exhausted.    

“So wait…does this mean I have to travel again tomorrow?” I ask. Though much to my surprise Leif shook his head.

“No, Doctor H.B said that she would like to meet you today if that is possible. She was very specific with that.” He replies which quickly makes my eyes go wide.

“Wait TODAY!” I call out loudly which immediately made me the center of attention of everyone. A lot of bugs out and about today, but I honestly couldn’t care less at the moment as the ridiculous of what Leif just said is still trying to bash its way through my brain like a goddamn battering ram.

I can’t believe this.

“Well, that’s what H.B. told us,” Kabbu confirms while rubbing the back of his head nervously.

“For fuck’s sake WHY? It's already late in the afternoon and I just got back yesterday from that long ass trip I had to do with the three of you. Can’t I have a fucking break?” I complain, already feeling pissed off by this.

“Apparently not,” Leif replies flatly.  

“This is Bullshit,” I exclaim and rightfully so.

“Wait…what’s a bull.” I hear Kabbu ask but I ignore him. I am far more agitated on the fact that I just can’t catch a fucking break it seems.

For fucks sake.

“So what? Do I have to tell Eetl and Artis that I am going to be skimping out on my Job again?” I ask while gesturing widly.

“Well, I am sure both of them will understand. I mean it was even Eetl who suggested that you should. Remember? So I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Kabbu replies, sounding quite sure of himself.

I groaned. “Uhhh fine. Though I have to ask Artis if he is ok with it because Eetl just left right before you three showed up.” I explain before turning around.

“Wait really?” Where did he go?” Kabbu asks as I make my way back inside.

“To pick up a package,” I reply before stopping. Quickly realizing something

“Wait, I forgot to charge my phone,” I call out before quickly turning around and tripping over my own legs like a complete dumbass and rolling back outside

Hey, at least I kept my phone safe.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“All aboard!” The Lift operator shouts after the lift finally comes down and stops, allowing me, Vi, Kabbu, Leif, to step onto the lift which will take us up to top. On top of a tree mind you. I should have guessed that Vi’s home is hanging high above a tree to be honest, because she IS a bee after all.

Did I ever mention that I suffer from Acrophobia? Well, there you go. It also doesn’t help that this thing barely has any guard rails to speak of to prevent passengers from falling off! What the hell is wrong with these people…I mean bugs. Yes, of course, they are BUGS! Why am I still asking so many stupid questions? Because I’m human, and it's in my blood, that’s why!

Human nature at all.

Either way, horrendous safety hazards aside, I made sure to quickly take the center spot of this lift before sitting down. I am not keen to die today because some idiot forgot to install some guard rails on a wooden platform suspended by a bunch of ropes. Plus, it gives me the chance to look Vi directly into her eyes as she gives me a weird and confused look.

“What?” I ask while raising my brows at her.

“Why are you sitting down?” She asks while raising one of her antennas in a questioning manner.

“Because I’m tired and my legs are sore,” I reply. Which isn’t a lie mind you, but they don’t need to know that I am suffering from acrophobia. The less they know about my weaknesses the better.

“We think he is scared of heights.” Leif suddenly comments while giving off a small smirk behind his shoulder.

“Fuck you!” I replied and kept it at that.

“All right, next stop the Hive.” I hear the operator call out before I watch him pull a wooden lever. The entire platform suddenly started to jerk a bit before slowly moving upwards. And when I mean slowly I mean very much slowly. For one that’s good because that means I won't get nauseous, since motion sickness is another major quirk of mine, but on the other end, this also means I have to endure this ride a lot longer than want too. I can already feel the winds picking up the high we go, giving me images of me getting pushed off by a strong gust of wind and off to my death.

Which is again NOT helping my aforementioned Acrophobia. Just the thought alone makes me shiver.

“Hey Melvin. Don’t you want to come over here and check out the view? It's quite breathtaking.” Vi sang while standing near the edge of this lift without a care in the world. Visibly teasing me.   

I blame Leif for this obviously.

“Vi stop teasing him like this. If high places make him uncomfortable then let him be. It's not nice you know.” Kabbu then quickly steps in. Being the absolute bro like he always is. Even if he sometimes ‘commits murder on’ the local fauna by impaling them with his horn, and I did caught him rubbing his horn that one time and then… tastes…his…hand…

You know what no one is perfect.

“Well, it doesn’t matter anyway since we're almost at the top.” Leif then chimes in while looking up. And true to his word, right above us are four sets of cranes that slowly came into focus to which this lift is attached too. Pulling us over a suspended platform which ACTUALLY HAS GUARDRAILS BUILD AROUND! OH MY GOD! WHY DOES THE PLATFORM HAVE GUARDRAILS BUT THIS STUPID LIFT BEARLY HAS ANY?

I swear if I can find the genius who built this lift I’m gonna…

“Alright, here we are. Do be careful when disembarking. We don’t want anyone to accidentally fall off the edge. That would be tragic.” The Operator calls out as the lift finally comes to a full halt.

“NO SHIT!” I exclaim loudly which almost makes her jump.

“Come on Melvin hurry up. You can scare more Bees once we're inside. So stop standing around.” Vi calls out while already waiting for me on the platform. Alongside the Kabbu and Leif.

I just quietly grumble to myself before I carefully step off the lift to join them.

“Alright,” I began. “Where is the entrance then?” I ask while adjusting the straps on my carrying bag.

Vi gives me a flat look.” It's right there.” She points to her right and I follow.

“Oh.” I reply after realizing the entrance is literally just in front of us. No grand pathway, steps, or huge gate. Just a simple entrance with no guards.

“Well, that’s a bit anticlimactic. I was expecting something a bit more grand to be honest, like a huge archway or something,” I comment before following Vi and the others inside.

Vi shrugs. “It’s fine as it is, to be honest. Bees focus more on practicality than form. Or at least that’s what Malbee once told me.” She replies which makes me raise an eyebrow.

“Wait, you’re a bee but you don’t know how your own kind thinks and operates?” I ask, feeling a bit bewildered.

“Hey!” She quickly calls out. “I’m not like the average Bee alright. Unlike the rest of them, I always dreamed of becoming an explorer one day and see the world. Something I got mocked and made fun of. So excuse me if I don’t know how the average bee thinks or acts.” She retorts sounding quite agitated for just a moment there. Like I somehow triggered a bit of a sore spot on her or something.

Which is interesting.  

I was about to reply when we suddenly emerged into a large circular room. The entire interior is completely made out of beeswax while the air smelled a bit like honey, which should be obvious.  With many doors or entryways lining the outer walls. There is quite a lot of commotion going on here. Bee’s going about their business or just casually chatting with one another. However, one door in particular immediately catches my eye.

“That large door right in front of us, where does it lead too?” I ask, being the curious little cat that I am, and somehow still alive after all these years.

“That one leads into the Queen's throne room,” Vi quickly replies.

“I see.” I reply while rubbing my chin. “So, that means it's off-limits right?” I again ask while looking at Vi.

“Uhm…” Vi strangely pauses. “Well, not exactly. You could technically just walk in there without anyone really stopping you because the Queen is fairly…” She pauses once she realizes that I am already moving for the door. I’m already here so I might as well. I always wanted to see a real throne room up close, even if said throne room is probably built out of beeswax like the rest of the hive.

I said “Rest of the hive” even though I have barely seen much of it. It could have parts that look totally different. But there is only one way to find out obviously. Starting with this throne room.

“WAIT! MELVIN! WHAT ARE YOU…”

“HALT! Where do you think you're going?” One of the two guards guarding the door suddenly stops me before I could even get close.

I of course stopped, like the reasonable and respectable person that I am, and because of those spears. They look very pointy and deadly. It's kinda Ironic to see Bees of all insects to carry spears when they already have stingers sticking out of their asses. But it makes sense, considering how useless and detrimental bee stingers are. Still kinda Ironic though.

Either way, time to use my least used skill in Skyrim. Diplomacy. “Oh Pardon me mam, but I was hoping that I could maybe have a quick peek inside the throne room. If that is allowed?” I ask while looking down to obscure my face a bit better underneath my hood. Don’t need them to ask more questions than necessary.

Plus I don’t like getting gawked at.

“Allowed?” She reacts while tilting her head a bit. “Do you have an audience with the Queen perhaps?” She questions, which is a strange question to ask in response to mine.

I was about to reply before Vi suddenly appeared right in front of me. Laughing nervously. “Ahahahaha…hahah…ha…uhm so-sorry about that. Don’t mind him really. He's new around here you see so he doesn’t know how to…” She was quickly cut off.

“Oh hey it’s Vi, and the rest of Team Sneakmouth as well.” The other guard suddenly exclaims. “Are you here to talk with the Queen maybe? She is currently inside if you're looking for her.” She explains while thumbing the door behind her.

An idea suddenly pops up. “Ah yes, Vi and her friends are actually giving me a full round tour of her home. I was hoping to also get a peek inside the throne room if that’s ok? With them following me of course to keep me out of trouble. Would that be alright?” I again asks, trying to BS my way into this. Much to Vi’s momentary confusion

“Wh-what? No I did n…” I quickly cut her off before crouching down.

“I’ll let you borrow my phone for a while if you convince them to let me in. How about that?” I whisper to her which may or may not look suspicious. But I am honestly not expecting much, just testing with just how much bullshit I can get away with.

And look at that, she suddenly seems interested.

“Three days” She quickly whispers back, which almost makes me choke on my own spit.

“THREE DAYS!”I exclaim through my teeth.

“Uhm…what are you two whispering about?” I hear one of the guards ask.

“Mind your own business” Both me and Vi reply in unison which made her flinch before awkwardly shuffling back a bit. I swear some people…

Anyway, back to the negotiation. “Three days?” I ask much more mildly. “What the hell are you going to use my phone for in three days?” I ask once more.

“Well for one, the music.” She replies while raising a finger. “And two, you did mention that phone has a Camera right?” She asks while crossing her arms.

I just nod. “Well…”She began.” I have plans for that, lots and lots of plans.” She states while suddenly sounding and looking quite mischievous. I wonder who she’s going to blackmail with those photos but who cares.

“And what if I refuse?” I ask before crossing my own arms.

“Well, that’s easy. I won’t help you. Simple as that.” She replies with a smug look.

I clapped my hands together and inhaled sharply through my nose before finally replaying…”FINE!” I exclaim loudly. “But if you lose my phone or break it…” I threaten while wiggling a finger aggressively in front of her.

“I won't don’t worry. But you’ll have to teach me how it works first.” She points out.

“Yeah, yeah sure whatever,” I reply dismissively before getting back up. I’m already done with this shit.

“Uhm…what were you two…talking about?” Kabbu then asks behind us, looking all confused.

“What? Oh, nothing much. Just business.” Vi replies dismissively.

“Business.” Leif reacts. “If it involves Berries then we can believe that.” He comments. Always gotta add his two cents into everything, doesn’t he? Well, it doesn’t matter. What matters is me giving my phone away for three whole days just so I can look at the Queen’s butt warmer. Sounds like a terrible deal, but then again its not the first time I’ve done those. Like taking my last job at a motel before getting drugged and kidnapped a few weeks later. So what else is new? 

“Anyway, can we go in?” Vi then quickly asks before turning around to face the guards like nothing happened.

Which certainly confused them. 

“Uh su-sure…I guess” The Bee who recognized Vi earlier replies before slightly stepping to the side to give us room to pass. Same for her co-worker next to her.

 Neat. That’s what you call killing two birds with one stone, or however the saying goes.

“Wait a minute. What about Doctor H.B?” Kabbu asks as Vi reaches for the doors.

I turn around. “Ah H.B -whatever that means- can wait for a few more minutes. I’m just going to have a quick peek inside (maybe take some photos) and then we can continue to H.B’s office as planned. This won't take long.” I replay as Vi generously pushed the doors open for me which allowed me to step inside.

Time to marvel at the…I quickly stopped, spotting the specimen in front of me.

“HOLY SHIT!” I react. “Is that your queen? Damn, she’s thick. I mean look at that ASS!” I exclaim loudly.

The entire Hive quickly became silent.  

Chapter Text

I always knew that I had a shocking personality but maybe not literally. Granted I did just called one of their rulers fat, right in front of her mind you, but hey, I never claimed to be great with “the ladies” so cut me some slack will ya. Though on a more serious note, I might just have given myself a one-way ticket to the guillotine or whatever form of execution they use around here. Their wide-eyed expression would be hilarious if I didn’t just ‘possibly’ fucked myself over with my knee-jerk reaction just then. Well, only one way to find out.

“So…this is the throne room? It's…nice? Maybe a bit too much beeswax for my liking, but what do I know.” I exclaim, trying to entice some small talk.

It worked but not with the bee I was hoping to entice. “Melvin…what the FUCK!!” I hear Vi scream which forces everyone to turn their attention away from me and onto her.

I wonder why.

“V-VI. LANGUAGE!” Kabbu shouts back in shock which confuses me a bit.

What’s wrong with saying fuck?

“What!?” Vi exclaims while probably looking at Kabbu. I can’t tell because I have yet to turn myself around to see what is happening behind me. I don’t want to turn around in case the queen suddenly decides to charge at me in blood-gurgling rage for basically calling her fat right in front of her guards, and probably most of the hive as well with how quiet it suddenly got. Well, not so quiet anymore as both Vi and Kabbu suddenly started to argue with one another about the ethicacy of language. I couldn’t really care less about that especially when the queen finally recovered from her shock and was looking at me and everyone else with ‘confusion’?

Well, I didn’t expect that. Much better than getting your head chopped off I guess but still a bit surprising.

“I…” she started before looking at one of her guards next to her. “…is it true? Have I gained a bit of weight?” She asks one of her guards while looking behind at her abdomen to confirm it herself.

One of her guards quickly looks flustered. “I-I…uh…my-my queen. I-I’m not sure if I can answer that. All I do is stand here all day and…and do…nothing…else…” She replies before looking down at her feet. She sounded a bit depressed at the end but maybe it's just how she sounds. Either way, it seems that I am keeping my head today day which is certainly a good thing. Also, I managed to get Kabbu railed up for once by forcing Vi to say the F word. Another achievement to check off my bucket list.

Now I just need to figure out how to make Leif cry. I did catch him snicker or chuckle a couple of times but never cried. That’ll be next on my bucket list if I can figure out how to make him shed some tears.

Does this make me a bastard? 

“I should probably ease up on the Honey a bit. I do think I’ve gained a bit of weight these past couple of months. Which is unacceptable for a queen of my status. You know what, thanks for bringing this to my attention Sir…”

“Melvin Becker, but you can just call me Melvin.” I replay with a short bow.

She nods. “Well, thanks for pointing this out to me Sir Melvin. It would have been embarrassing if King Hector noticed this instead of you. Probably even going so far as to compare me with the size of her wife, Queen Layra.” She suddenly leans in closer. “She is the fattest of all of us by the way.” She whispers before straightening up again. “And for that, I like to thank you once more.” She announces with a genuine smile on her face.

I smiled back. “All in day’s work your bee-ness. I live to serve after all.” I reply before giving her a more proper bow. Again, just out of courtesy and to rub some more honey underneath her nose. Theoretically speaking of course. I don’t have any actual honey on me mind you, plus I don’t even know where her nose actually is if she even has one. In fact, most bugs I’ve met so far don’t have a nose, or at least one that is visible at first glance. I do know that certain bugs have their scent receptors located on antennas or even on legs. So maybe it’s the same with bees? Who knows, I am not a biologist OBVIOUSLY, and probably never will. But I AM someone who will viciously grasp an opportunity when it presents itself. Like being buddies with one of the local rulers of these lands. For leverage of course. Who knows, knowing a queen personally might be useful. All I would need to say is that “I personally know one of the queens.” and that “I had biscuits with them”. Just like how in Skyrim the guards will look the other way if you tell them you are the thane of a specific hold. Nepotism! The thing that makes life easier.

“Melvin, MELVIN!!” Vi suddenly screams behind me which snaps me back.

“Wha-what?” I blink before finally turning around for the first time since this whole scene started.

She obviously looks displeased. “Can you stop staring off into space and just pay attention? We already wasted enough time as it is. So come on, H.B is waiting for us.” She states with her arms crossed and with one of her legs tapping the floor.

“Wait H.B?” The queen suddenly asks. “Has this maybe something to do with that Artifact that was recently discovered?” she asks while looking at Vi specifically.

“Uhm…yes it does why?” Vi replies.

She suddenly lights up. “Oh, so that means your new friend over here must be this new ‘human’ person I once heard about, yes?” She asks.

Well, I guess there is no harm now in exposing myself. I think to myself before pulling back my hood and fully revealing my smooth chitin-less face.

“AAAH IT’S HIDEOUSE!” One of the guards screams.

“FUCK YOU!”   

“See, he says fuck all the time. So why can’t I?” Vi asks forcing Kabbu to groan.

“No, no, no. Language please. No need for profanities around here.” The Queen declares before looking back at me. “Also, I’d imagined that a species constantly referred to as ‘the giants” would be a lot bigger. Granted you are taller than most bugs I’ve seen, but still…”She pauses.” I’d imagined your kind to be…bigger like a lot bigger.” She emphasizes with her arms by reaching far above her head as her arms allow her to.

I nod. “Well, you're certainly right. I used to be a lot bigger in fact. But something happened to me between being stuck in stasis for who knows how long while being trapped inside that pod before these three found me.” I point at the trio behind me. “Either way, something happened, and now a lot smaller as a result of that. How exactly I don’t know. But your guess is as good as mine and now I am stuck here, and possibly the last living member of my kind. So, yeah.” I explain before crossing my arms.

“I see.” She replies while rubbing her chin. “That is quite unfortunate. By that, I mean being the last of your kind. I’m…so sorry for your situation. Truly. It must feel quite lonely sometimes to be  the last of your kind.” She states while looking at me with sympathy.

I scoffed. “More like pissed off actually. All I wanted that day was a nice cup of coffee. Instead, I got knocked out, kidnapped, stuffed into that pod before eventually waking up inside in a strange and alien world. Worst. Hangover. EVER!” I declare while raising my arms. But the sad thing is she is right. It can feel quite lonely sometimes. I just never mention it out loud because…I don’t really trust anyone here, to be honest. Including Kabbu Leif and Vi even though these three were the ones who originally found me and even gave me a place to stay.

Maybe I should try and open up some more. It could help me with my coping mechanism and make me less of a dick. Which IS my coping mechanism by the way. Why I am telling this to myself I have no idea. But I should also probably stop spacing out like this before people think I am weird…well even weirder than a walking talking fossil already is I mean.

ALSO, Vi is already giving me this ‘look’ which means she knows that I am spacing out yet again and NOT paying attention. I don’t really know what her stick is but she does get annoying at times…and really bratty too if she wants to be.

Can’t even monologue in peace with her around.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah I know. Before you start screaming my name again I am aware that we have places to be. So let's just go then. You said this H.B. person is waiting for us so let's not keep him…”

“Her.” Vi interrupts.

“HER! Let's not keep HER waiting then.” I exclaim before finally making for the door.

“Is he always like this?” I hear the queen ask behind me as I move past Kabbu and Leif.

“All the time. He either just stares into space or complains a lot.” I hear Vi reply before I finally move out of earshot and through a random corridor. I can hear both Kabbu and Leif call out for me as I quickly disappear from their line of sight.

I mean how hard can finding this H.B. person can be? All I need to do is ask for directions and I’ll be there quicker than those three.

Piece of cake.

That’ll teach Vi for being so goddam impatient.

I’ll show them all.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. 

“…and this is why next time you don’t wander off by yourself. OK? It took us half a freaking hour just to find you.” Vi complains before knocking on a door that has the sign “Doctor H.B’s Lab written right above it.

How fucking convenient.

I for once decide to just keep quiet and not retort or say anything. I know when I’ve been beaten. Getting somehow lost in some industrial-looking part of this giant mega building and having to rely on these three to eventually find me. Also, bees are assholes…probably. Either those I asked were actively pointing me in circles or my sense of direction is just that bad somehow. Could be the latter because every freaking room and corridor here looks the fucking the same. Just Beewax everywhere. The walls, the ceilings, and floors. Everything is just this monotone yellow. It’s somehow messing with my senses, or maybe those bees are indeed assholes?

Yeah, probably assholes because it can’t be because of my poor sense of direction, right? That would be silly. Gotta keep my pride up after all.

“Doctor H.B. were here. You’re in there?” Vi then suddenly calls out while slamming her fist against the door.

Talk about subtly.  

Is this how she talks to a doctor? But then again this is Vi. I may not know her for that long but I’ve already learned from my short time living with these three that she can be quite blunt towards people, which can be both a good or a bad thing depending on the situation. Or maybe I am reading too deep into this and I should really just mind my own business. Probably the latter, just so I can focus more on the new Bee who quickly answered the door.

She looks hella stressed, or I think it’s a she. All Bee workers are females, right?

“Oh hello, Crow. Is Doctor H.B inside? Kabbu asks after greeting her.

She meekly nods. “Ye-yes, Dorctor H.B is currently busy trying to decode the data inside the artifact. Bu-but please come in though. H.B has been anxiously waiting for your arrival.” She explains before stepping out of the way to allow us entry.

The first thing that hits me once I enter the lab is the smell. This place smells like an old Gym locker room. Which really surprises me since most of the hive so far has this faint scent of honey in the air, not counting the factory of course which is completely covered in honey. Apparently, that’s where they make it according to Vi. Kinda weird to see Honey being made at an industrial level by freaking Bees. Literally. But I am just distracting myself again.

Back to the smell. This place stinks like an old DnD den and I can’t imagine why. Well, unless this Doctor H.B person really does live like a nerd and never bothers to shower to focuses more on their work and studies. If that is the case then by God. That is one hell of an achievement and a damn good reason for this doctor to never EVER touch me.

I may not be a paragon of cleanliness and hygiene myself but even I have boundaries.

“Do-doctor H.B. Team Snakemouth has returned alongside the person you requested. I-is it ok for them to disturb you?” This Crow person announces, which is a really bizarre way to introduce us. Why even add the “Is it ok to disturb you” at the end when you already -most likely- disturbed her by already calling out our presence?

What even is the point? Or is she also meek and shy on top of already looking very stressed? Someone should give her a break, or even send her off to a vacation so that she can relax a little. For fuck sake.

On a different note, this H.B person looks exactly how I imagined a tech nerd like her to look. Long, spindly thin while wearing an old lab coat and oversized glasses. Even her antennas look crooked which shouldn’t even be possible. But this entire world is impossible so this is a minor nitpick compared to everything else.

But I’m still nitpicking.

Either way, she turns around, stopping whatever it was she was doing on that big ass console of hers to finally address us formally. “Ah, Team Snakemouth. A bit late but never late than never I suppose. I was expecting the three of you to arrive at least an hour or so ago. What took you so long?” She asks. Quotations on the “formal” part as she seems she sounds more annoyed than happy to finally see us. Her voice even reminds me of the administrator's voice from Team Fortress 2. In how smug and biggity it sounds. Like she knows more than you do and has no qualms in calling you an idiot for not knowing as much as her.

In other words a real pain in the ass (probably), and someone who is going to be a real joy to work with, which I probably have to thanks to my inert knowledge of human tech.

FUCK!

“Hey don’t blame us. We had to spend at least 30 mins just to try and find HIM. He somehow managed to get himself lost inside the Honey factory. I mean how did you even get there? She asks while turning around to look at me. “That part of the hive is usually off-limits to anyone who isn’t a worker. How did you get passed the locked doors?” She asks, sounding genuinely curious about how I achieved the unachievable, well from her point of view.

“Easy,” I react. “The doors were wide open,” I reply while crossing my arms.

“Eh.” She reacts in confusion. “But you need an access ID just to get in, and even if they were open there should have been guards in front of it to make sure…”

“Ok, that is enough. We are already wasting enough time here.” This H.B person suddenly calls out after interrupting Vi.

She quickly readjusted her glasses. “Either way, let’s just get straight to the point. You, you’re this human I’ve been informed of, yes? The last of your kind?” She asked while studying me from afar.

“Heh, don’t remind me.” I replay before readjusting my cloak. “Also, hi nice to meet you too,” I exclaimed sarcastically.

She waves it off “Yes, yes, formalities are important I know. Excuse my rudeness and my hastiness but I am really frustrated right now.” She explains as if I really give a fuck. “You see I’ve been spending the entire day trying to decode the date found insert this “USB stick” as you call it I believe but none of the programs I have can’t even properly read them. I even tried to write a new decoding software from scratch but nothing works, so I was hoping that you might be able to help me in cracking this damn thing. You know how this thing works right?” She asks while looking at me expectantly.

Indeed, straight to the point.

I guess whatever programming language they use is not compatible with ours, or maybe the data inside is just corrupted. Could be the latter because who knows how long this thing was buried in the ground. Centuries, millennials even?

Well, I brought my laptop with me for a reason. It may be a bit useless now without the internet but maybe it can help with decoding with whatever is inside that USB, if I can get it connected to my PC that is.

Actually, where the hell is it? I don’t see it anyway in this mess. Just random machines and fallout-esc-looking electronics everywhere. But no USB in sight.  

“Hold on,” I call out. “You keep talking about trying to extract data out of the USB but I don’t see it anywhere.” I point out.

She perks up. “Oh, well that's because I had it moved to a separate room next to this one thanks to a lack of space in here, as you can probably tell.” She explains.

“Oh, can I maybe see it first?” I ask.

She shrugs. “Sure, its right over there behind that door. Just be mindful of the wires though. . It took me quite a while to set them all up, so I don’t make a mess of things or worse, damage them by accident.” She warns while pointing at a half-open door behind her.

True to her words, there are a lot of wires coming out of that door. All of them connected to a large machine on the opposite end of the which again looks like something which could belong in a museum, or maybe the Fallout franchise. A large, almost archaic-looking computer with a huge ass screen and a large console in front of it.

I nod “I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks.” I reply before making my way to the door to have a quick peek inside, and true to her word there it is. The Giant jet-black USB in all of its glory. Connected with a ton of cables and wires which are directly attached to its connector in place of a proper adaptor. It looks incredibly crude but if this is the best she can do then I won’t judge. Now onto the point. Can she conjure up an adaptor for my PC so that I can connect my laptop with this giant piece of silicon and plastic?

If she can then we are golden. I just hope that this thing doesn’t house a 1000-year-old piece of malware inside that is going to fuck my PC the moment I connect it too. Yeah is almost useless but I have a lot of memorabilia’s stored inside of it. Pictures, Videos, hell even downloaded movies and games and it’ll be a shame to lose those. Spend a lot of time downloading these games because my internet back home SUCKED.

Wait why am I telling this myself? Am I already going crazy? Just go ask the doctor if she can fix up an adaptor for my PC so that we can get started. For fuck sake. Don’t become like your cousin DON’T BECOME LIKE YOUR COUSIN!

“I have a question.” I start before as I turn around. “Can you make some kind of an adapter to hook up my Laptop with the USB? Maybe my computer can read whatever files are inside it.” I offer before pulling out my laptop from my bag to show it to her.

This makes her perk up as she quickly closes the gap between us to have a closer look at it. Almost making me drop it. “ Ooh, Interesting, so this flat rectangular thing is a computer you say?” She asks while examining it from all angles.

“Yeah, though this is a more portable version of that. It comes with everything already built in, such as a screen, a keyboard, and a touchpad.” I explain before opening it up to show it to her.

Her eyes immediately light up. “Fascinating, to have a computer at such a form factor. I wonder if I can replicate this design. It would make conducting my research outside my lab a lot easier.  How do you turn this on?” She asks while examining the Keyboard.     

“Oh you just push this small button right above the keyboard,” I reply before doing just that.

The screen quickly lit up, alongside the RGB backlighting of the keyboard before swiftly booting up to Windows for the very first time since I woke up in this crazy ass world. It’s good to see that this thing still works somehow after being stuck in stasis alongside me for who knows how long. And yes I have a gaming laptop if the aforementioned RGB wasn’t enough of an indicator.

Why buy a gaming laptop when desktops are cheaper and easier to maintain? Simple. Lack of freaking space, and the fact that my internet was pretty shitty as I already mentioned earlier. I had to do most of my downloads and uploads back at my workplace because it was that bad.

Either way, back on topic. H.B was of course again fascinated, performing your usual “ooh’s” and “aah’s” typical for someone who’s seeing colors for the very first time. I then quickly closed the lid and placed the laptop underneath my right arm in case she gets funny ideas. Like trying to snatch my laptop off my hands with how she’s eying it from behind her glasses.

Absolutely fascinated by this piece of technology.

Also I just noticed that one of her glasses is cracked. Doesn’t it bother her, or is she lazy stingy or lazy to get a new one?

Who cares at this point.

“So, can you maybe fashion an adaptor that can be connected to this USB port over here?” I ask while pointing at the respected I/O on the side of my device.

She readjusted her glasses “Hmmm, perhaps.” She mutters while leaning forward to have a closer look. “It has a similar shape compared to the connector present on the artifact. But a lot smaller obviously.” She comments before returning to her previous distance and rubbing her chin.

“Maybe I can just connect your computer to mine via a link cable. Then I can just filter the data from the Artifact to your computer and see if it works that way. It’ll be a lot quicker this way, trust me.” She explains before looking behind me

“Crow, come here please, I need your help now.” She calls out.

“Ye-yes Do-doctor H.B. Right away.” I hear her meekly reply before quickly arriving next to her. Again, looking as if she could break down at any moment.

“Is she ok?” I ask while casually pointing at her.

 “Crow? Ah, she is why, she is always like this. She is just shy so nothing to worry about.” H.B waves it off.

“Well…” Vi suddenly calls out. “…if you two no longer need us then I guess we can…”

“Actually…”Leif interjects. “…we are also quite curious to know what’s inside the artifact. We would like to stay and watch If that’s ok that is?” He asks.

“Aw come on, there are so many other things we could do right now besides just waiting for some quote-on-quote “data” that may or may not be there or even interesting. Let's just…go visit my sister, or something.” She openly suggests.

“Actually I’m with Leif here on this one.” Kabbu suddenly butts in. Taking Leif side it seems. 

“Two to one Vi, guess we are staying then” Leif comments, sounding rather pleased with the result. He is even sporting a small smirk underneath his usual stoic expression. Wow, even more emotions.

Vi sighs. “Fine, will stay then I guess.” She replies with her body slouching forward in defeat.

Ha, eat shit Vi.

“Well, as long as the three of you don’t cause too much of a ruckus, I guess it's fine. Just don’t touch anything in here alright? I don’t need you three breaking anything, especially by accident.” She points out.

Kabbu nods. “Don’t worry, we will only observe.” He agrees for everyone. Including Vi who just sighs.

H.B nods before returning her attention back to her assistant, or whatever she is.” Crow, go grab some more cable, and my soldering equipment from the storage room. We have more work to do.” She announces making her assistant sigh.

“Ye-yes Doctor H.B.” She replies before disappearing into the room which contains USB.

“Ok, while we wait let me first quickly show you what I’ve discovered so far.” H.B then states before turning her attention to her oversized computer. “B.O.S.S pull up the date we found so far.” She orders which is followed by the screen suddenly lighting up and displaying a pixelated face on its surface.  

Well, this is new.

“Greeting Doctor H.B. What can I do for you?” The computer asks in a synthesized voice.” Cool, they have their own version of Alexa here it seems. I wonder if it can also play Skyrim like her, that would certainly blow my mind.

H.B sighs. “I guess I still have a few glitches to iron out.” She mumbles before regaining her composure. “B.O.S.S pull up all of the data we recovered so far.” She repeats herself, this time much louder.

The face nods which is a weird detail to program into it. But hey it gives it a bit of character so I wont judge.

“Affirmative. Displaying all of the recovered Data on screen now.” It calls out before displaying a bunch of icons and random numbers all over the screen. Icon which look…very much unrecognizable. But again it can be due to the fact that she is using a completely different programming language compared to outs, which again could explain why she has such a hard time extracting any useful information out of these files because they are simply incompatible with whatever she’s running.

Again, if I can get my own PC hooked up to this I should be able to see what type of files these are, even if they are made for a version of Windows, Mac, or Linux that didn’t exist yet before I placed into stasis. 

But once again only one way to find out.

“Well, I don’t recognize these icons,” I reply while scratching my head.

“Are you sure?” She asks while looking at me.

I nod. “One-hundredth percent. I don’t know what any of this is which means we have only one option left. Transfer the files over to my PC and see if it works that way, and for that, we obviously have to hook this up somehow in order to do that. Unless you have something to transfer files wirelessly, like Bluetooth or Wi-fi.” I ask.

She looks at me with confusion. “What is a Bluetooth and Wi-fi?” She asks as Crow suddenly reemerges with a large wooden toolbox filled with stuff. Most likely H.B.’s welding tools.

“Here are the to-tools.” She stutters before setting them down on a nearby table.

H.B. looks at her. “What about the cables?” She asks, completely forgetting about her previous questions.

Crow’s antennas perk up. “Oh, I forgot about those.” She exclaims.

“Well go GET THEM!” H.B. calls out next to me while pointing aggressively at the door. 

“Ye-yes Doctor H.B.” She meekly replies before rushing back in to go grab them.

This makes me flinch a bit.

Harsh as much? I mean give her a freaking break will ya. She already looks like on the verge of a mental breakdown and bossing her around like this is probably just going to push her over the edge sooner rather than later. Bloody hell, and I thought my boss back at the moment was a total dick. Will this takes the cake.

“Sometimes I wonder what’s going on inside her head.” H.B quietly comments to herself next to me while I am busy with my own thoughts.

“She seems especially agitated today for some reason.” I manage to hear Kabbu whisper behind me.

“Well, she did say that she spent a lot of time trying to work on the artifact with no results. Which, could be understandable.” Leif replies, not even making the effort to try and conceal his voice like Kabbu did. I mean watch the point? She is right here. She can hear you no matter what. Unless you two start whispering to each other's ears which would also be noticeable.

“He-here are the cables?” Crow exclaims as she re-emerges with several rolls of cables hanging from her neck and arms. This seems excessive.

H.B perks up. “Great, now let me see if I can make an adaptor that can work with your machine. But for that…”She turns around. ”I need to borrow it for a while.” She states while looking at me.

I groan. “Fine, here,” I reply reluctantly before handing her my PC. One of my only pieces of memorabilia of my old world. Handing it over to this…frankly crazy-looking scientist.

Yeah, it's useless now technically but it now holds a more sentimental value to me. It's one of the few things I have of my old life and I don’t want to lose those. Says the guy who earlier gambled his phone away just to see a fat bee and is now also giving away his laptop just to look at some random dude's porn stash or whatever might be hiding inside that crusty old memory stick.

Man I’m terrible at this.

“Here,” I exclaim while giving it to her. “Be careful with it alright?” I exclaim with a more serious tone.  

“Oh don’t worry. When it comes to tech I’m an expert. I am the head researcher in this when it comes to Giant technology after all. So you have nothing t worry about.” She replies before finally taking my PC off my hands.

“Yeah, I can tell,” I reply while mentally saying goodbye to my overpriced piece of aluminum. I swear if she breaks it…

“Hey uhm, is it maybe ok if I use the simulation room?” Vi suddenly interrupts.

H.B stops. “Huh?” She turns around. “Oh no, no sure. Go right ahead. Just tell B.O.S.S which enemies you wish to simulate and it’ll do the rest. Just don’t overdo it alright?” She replies before returning to her task at hand.

Vi smiles. “Sweet, could use a bit of practice. How about you two?” She asks while turning her attention to her two compadres. “Do you want to join?” She asks.

“Oh no, I’m good,” Kabbu replies.

“Same for us.” Leif also replies in his usual third-person-y way.

Vi sighs. “Well, more for me than I suppose. You two can just wait here while I try and break our previous record then.” She exclaims before walking towards a large metal-looking gate which I just now noticed.  

“All by yourself, we find that highly unlikely.” Leif comments but Vi seems to ignore him as she steps inside. A room which kinda reminds me of the simulation room from Star Trek.

So wait, does this mean they have real-life simulations here?

But before I can ask the door closes. Preventing me from getting answers, outside of maybe…asking someone else. But instead, I decided to just forget about it and finally sit my ass down. Finding an unoccupied chair just behind me while I patiently waiting for Crow and H.B to do their thing so that we can finally get to the main reason why I am here.

Just to sift through some data

I am honestly on Vi with this one. I just want to go back home, or in her case be anywhere else but here. I was never much of a “going out and about” type of guy. Always preferring to just go home whenever my daily shifts at the Motel were over. Which in turn didn’t allotted me with a lot of friends outside of my own family.

Which is kinda sad now that I am thinking about it. Did I really wasted my life like that? Just wasting my time with a shitty job all day and never allowing myself to opportunity to make some meaningful connections along the way? I mean I’ve only been in this world for over a week now and there are already so many bugs around here willing to help me for no reason and trying to make me feel welcome despite my unusual appearance and origin. Maybe I should see this as a second chance. I never achieved much during my old life so perhaps now I have a chance to fix that.

“Oh Dear…I…I think we broke something.” I heard Crow whisper in the background

Or maybe I don’t. Maybe I should just continue being the old cynical shithead that I am and continue to be an asshole. Especially when I just heard they broke something on my almost 3000 euro laptop.

“Oh for FUCK SAKE” I call out as I get off my chair.

These freaking bugs man.

Chapter Text

Who knew that a place called “Honey Bar” serves actual honey, who knew right? But to be honest I never liked the taste of honey. Especially when it's laced with a bit of alcohol. Also never liked the taste of alcohol either.

So yeah, I’m pretty boring like that, at least back in my world. But here, bugs just can’t stop staring at me once they realize that I am different. I never liked to be the center of attention, which also doesn’t help that Kabbu, for whatever reason, can’t hold his damn liquor. He is already losing it after just a few shots and creating a bit of a scene. Which attracts even more onlookers from across the tables. Did I already mention that I hate being the center of attention? At least Vi and Leif are having fun at the expense of their drunk comrade.

Who knew that a big guy like him can’t keep his shit together after just a few shots. His such a baby weight when it comes to liquor. I drank just as much as he did, I’m doing just fine. I think I just discovered Kabbu’s true weakness. That being alcohol.

“Have I ever told you guys about that time when I almost stole something by forgetting to pay for it?” He slurs with his head resting on the table.

“Would you guys like to buy another round?” A bee waitress asked.

“No, we're good,” Leif replies while pointing at Kabbu next to him to prove his point.

“Argh…Leif…did I ever told you that I always found your wings to be especially pretty? Hmmm I could stare at them all day. Can I rub my face on them?” Kabbu continues to babble.

“Uhm. No.” Leif reacts while pushing Kabbu away from him. Even went too far to scoot his chair closer to me to get away from his now very touchy friend.   

Going from funny to straight-out weird.

“So how long do we have to wait again?” Vi asks while playing with her empty cup in front of her. Rolling it around on the table.

That’s when I suddenly remember something. “Hold on.” I declare before pulling out my phone.

Vi’s antennas perk up. “Oh yeah, we made a deal, didn’t we? So hand it over” She states while reaching her hand out.

“Hold on, let me try something first,” I call out before pulling out my Bluetooth speakers from my bag and placing it on the table. 

“What is that?” Leif asks.

“Just my wireless speakers,” I reply while connecting my phone to my speakers via Bluetooth after turning it on.

“Ah, here we go.” I declared while browsing my library for the perfect song to test this out.

Let's see if these Bee’s get the same physical reaction as Vi did when listening to Rock music for the very first time. I think before tapping on one of the rockiest songs I have in my playlist.

That being ‘I Wanna Rock’ by ‘Twisted Sister.’

The moment my speakers screamed “I Wanna Rock” is when every bug inside the bar jumped off their collective seats. Spilling quite a lot of “honey” and other drinks onto the floor alongside a few wailing cries.

Calm down will ya, it’s just Honey mixed with Alcohol. But in hindsight, I should have checked the volume level of my speakers first before pressing play.  

Well, can’t complain about it now. Especially when there is a science to be observed, and as expected every bee within earshot of the song has their wings buzzing uncontrollably. Including Vi’s, but she’s at least enjoying it, unlike a few others who are desperately trying to keep their wings under control, with various degrees of success, or rather failure.

Either way, I’ve confirmed it. I now hold the power to control these bees with music. By control I mean just their wings. The rest of their bodies? I don’t know. Might need to conduct more experiments in the future. But for now, I’ll call this particular experiment resounding a success. Now I just need to make sure that I don’t get body bagged by this extra-large beetle who is slowly stomping its way over to us. Its shell completely drenched in honey.

“OI! IS THAT NOISE COMING FROM YOUR DEVICE? YOU MADE ME SPILL MY DRINK! YOU BETTER TURN NOISE OFF AND PAY UP OR I’M GONNA DRAG YOU ASS OUTSIDE AND TOSS YOU OFF A LEDGE! SO CHOOSE!” He bellows before towering over me with a menacing behind his mandible. Even cracking his knuckles for good measures.

Leif stood up. “Hold on there, he’s with us.” He declares while charging up an ice spell in his right hand.

“Yeah calm down dude it's just music.” Vi is next as she pulls out her boomerang from somewhere. (I refuse to call it the Beemerang)

“Whoa, whoa, whoa hold on.” Kabbu suddenly perks up. “We…we don’t… want any trouble.” He tries to defuse the situation while still being drunk. He can’t even stand up properly without using the chair behind him as support.

He was dribbling nonsense just a moment ago and now he's trying to be the voice of reason.

That is Kabbu for ya. Even when his drunk he just can’t help himself from being “the good guy”. Well, as long as it prevents me from getting tossed out of the hive and down to my death then it’s obviously a good thing. I am allergic to death after all.

“Wait a minute.” The big guy suddenly perks up. “Aren’t you three Team Snakemouth? The lot that gave the wasp king a good whooping?” He asks.

Leif nods. “Indeed we are.” He confirms without ever lowering his guard.

The big guy blinks. “Ahh, I see, my apologies then.” He replies before crossing his big ass arms. “But still, I would like to be compensated because of your weird little friends. Oh and turn that crap off will ya?” He declares, his voice raised again.

I did as I was told and quickly turned off the music app on my phone and turn off the speakers. I already have the answers to my question so no need to cause further problems.

“Compensation? Dude, it’s just a cup of honey. It just costs a few berries.” Vi protests.

“V-Vi…its… it's fine…I…I’ll pay.” Kabbu buds in while still struggling to keep himself upright on the chair he is leaning on.

“Let me just…grab my berries.” He sighs while reaching for his bag of berries tugged behind his wings. How they don’t get smooshed back there I will never know, and besides, Kabbu did manage to find them rather quickly after a few failed tries.

“How much?” He asks before placing his bag on the table.

“22.” The big guy answers.

“Ok let me…damn it…I…I think I see double. Ugh.” He gags before collapsing backward onto the floor. “Leif can you…maybe give him the 22 berries?” He asks while looking at the moth.

Leif sighs before doing just that. Picking out the right number of berries and handing them over to the big guy.

He nods. “Thanks.” Before going straight for the counter. Probably buy more drinks or something. Bloody alcoholics.

Well, crises averted. I think to myself with slight relief. “Ok, remind me to pay you back when we get back to the Ant Kingdom,” I call out.

“No need its…f-fine.” Kabbu replies, still on the floor.

“Eh, I’ll just do it anyway,” I reply with a shrug.

“By the way. What was that all about? Why did you played your music in full blast like that?” Vi asks while tilting her head.

“Eh was just for an experiment,” I reply before stuffing the speaker back into my bag and zipping it shut.

“By the way.” Vi began. “When can I have your phone, we made a deal remember?” She asks while crossing her arms.

Ah shit! I think to myself. Yeah we bloody did didn’t we? I was hoping she would just drop it.

I sigh. “Argh fine, here take it.” I declare before handing her my phone.

Her antennas perk up. “Sweet thanks.” She replies happily before taking my phone off my hand. Like the greedy little Bee that she is.

Already annoyed, I decide it’s time to get out of here and see what Doctor H.B. and her nervous wreck of an assistant have done to my computer. If it still exists that is. That damn Doctor already managed to break one of is USB ports before she even got the chance to start, so I don’t hold a lot of hope that my Laptop is still in one piece.

But then again who knows? Miracles do happen sometimes…to other people I mean.

Welp, only one way to find out.

“Alright, let’s just get back to H.B.’s lab and see if she is done hooking up my PC with hers so we can finally see what's inside that USB and go home. I am so ready to get back home right now.” I declare before making my way for the exit.

“Do you even know how to get back?” Vi asks behind me.

I stop while remembering what happened earlier.

“You know what, you go first then.” I gesture for her to take the lead.

“Hey…can either of you maybe help us with Kabbu here? He’s kinda heavy.” Leif calls out while trying to get the green beetle back on his feet. I mean his the “mage” of this group right? If we apply DnD logic into this then he should be the weakest of the three in regarding physical prowess. But then again, I don’t even know how heavy Kabbu really is. Not that I ever had a reason to find out, but now…well he did help me earlier with that brute, so the least I can do now is to help him back on his feet…and pay him back the barriers later because I hate the feeling of owning someone money.

Can’t stand that shit.

I sigh. “Hold on.” I call out before returning to Kabbu’s side. I then promptly grabbed a hold of his right arm opposite to Leif holding his left before we both started to pull. And geez I never expected him to be this heavy. Must be all of that muscle mass hiding underneath his carapace. Either way, we managed to get him back on his feet before he leaned against Leif for support.

“Thanks…you guys.” He slurs with his head hanging slightly.

“No problem,” I reply before quickly noting his pose. He looks quite unstable on his feet, with his back slightly slumped forward despite leaning against his friend. “Are you sure you can walk? Vi and I can just meet with Doctor H.B. alone if you have trouble walking.” I offer.

“N-no it's fine…I think…I think I can do it.” Kabbu replies before trying to make himself look strong by removing himself from Leif’s shoulder, only to immediately collapse back onto it after the world probably started to spin for him again or something.

“We have to agree,” Leif calls out. “You are in no condition to walk. So its best if we stay here while Melvin and Vi return to H.B’s Lab. Sounds good?” He asks while looking at his companion.

Kabbu sighs. “Fine, will wait here then.” He agrees with a disheartened tone.

“Cool!” I nod. “So will meet up again later then?” I ask.

Leif nods. “Yes, will wait here.” He replies.

“Ok, let's go then Vi,” I call out as me and the bee leave for H.B.’s lab. With her taking the lead of course.

“So, how exactly does your “Phone” work?” She asks while looking up at me.

I sigh. “Well let me just show you then,” I reply before taking my phone back and showing her exactly how this flat brick of tech works.

I swear if she breaks it…

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“…and this is how you record videos,” I explain before handing her back my phone.

“Sweet.” She replies before eagerly taking it back.

“Say, what are you planning to record?” I ask out of sheer curiosity.

“Huh? Oh, nothing much too important.” She replies before quickly pointing ahead of her. “Oh look at that, we're already here.” She calls out, rather suspiciously I might add. Like she’s purposely trying to change the subject here.

But out of courtesy and personal laziness, I ignore it and look ahead only to be met H.B’s Lab. Well, the trance to her lab to be precise. The door is wide open though which is a bit of a surprise, but hey at least that means I can just waltz right in without knocking.

Which is exactly what I did. “Hello, anybody there?” I call out as I step through.

“Huh…no one here,” I mutter after realizing that no one is here.

“Where is everybody?” I ask out loud while looking around.

Seriously where are they?

“HEY H.B.!!!” Vi suddenly screams which makes me jump.

“Jeezus…VI WHAT THE HELL! YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!” I scream back while glaring at her.

“Vi stop screaming I’m over here!” I then hear H.B.'s call out from another room judging by her volume.

Vi just smirks before moving past me and in the direction where H.B.’s voice came from. I continue to glare at her for a couple more seconds before following her. Stepping over a few dozen cables and entering the room that houses the big USB. Still no H.B. in sight.

“Ah your back,” H.B. then calls out before peeking her head from behind the aforementioned storage device. “I am just about doing the last few finishing touches, and after that, we can finally get started.” She explains before retracting her head back.

“Just give me a few seconds and…” She pauses before a piece of cable suddenly starts soaring through the air and landing on a pile of junk. “There!” I hear her declare. “All done. Now we can finally get started.” She states before re-emerging, this time fully while dusting her hands off.

“Your computer is already hooked up and ready to go as well. It is waiting for you next to B.O.S.S.” She points out.

“Oh is it?” I react before stepping back out. And true to her word there it is right on top of its consoles, suspiciously intact with a couple of cables sticking out.

The first thing I try of course is turning it on to see if it even does that, and to my relief, it does. Booting up to Windows and onto my Desktop with no problems and looking exactly how I left it.

I smile. “Sweet still works as intended,” I exclaim before I examine the cables attached to the two remaining USB ports on my machine, including the Thunderbolt c-port funnily enough which seems very excessive.

“Is all of this really necessary?” I ask while admiring the somewhat janky cable work.

“Well, I hope so. I couldn’t test it because “someone” forgot to tell me the password to this device.” H.B. replies as she joins me, sounding quite annoyed.

“Oh yeah.” I react. “I did forget,” I reply before shrugging it off.

H.B sighs. “Either way. B.O.S.S!” She calls out. “Start transferring the data we’ve recovered to Melvin’s Computer. If you can that is.” She orders while looking at the massive screen above us.

It suddenly lit up. “Confirmed. Transferring Data now.” The pixilated face replies before I suddenly get a notification on my PC of someone trying to gain access to my device.

I pressed “allow” as a download bar appeared. Displaying a bulk of data which is worth around 1.07 Gigabytes.

“Well, that’s not a lot,” I mutter to myself as I wait for the download to finish.

“Aaand there we go. Now let's see what we have shall we?” I declare before navigating to the “Downloads” folder where these files were automatically sent too.

“Huh, a bunch of zip folders,” I comment out loud as I use the touchpad on my laptop to navigate the mouse cursor over one of the zip folders to see what their names are. Because strangely enough they are not being displayed normally as they should be.

Just showing me a bunch of scrambled pixels which I’ve never seen before

Maybe they are corrupted?

“So, does this mean your computer can read them?” H.B. asks as she comes up behind me. Looking over my shoulder.

“Pretty much, but I first need to extract them to see what is really inside of them,” I explain while doing just that. Moving one of these zip files onto my desktop and extracting them.

I quickly raise an eyebrow. “Wait…are these just…a bunch of photos?” I ask out loud after realizing that all of these files are just PNG’s.

“Photos?” Vi suddenly chimes in.

Oh yeah, she is here too isn’t she? Almost forgot about her.

Either way, I nod. “Seems like it. Let's just click on one to see what it is…aaand I’m fuckin RIGHT. These are just someone’s vacation photos. What a fucking scam.” I exclaim loudly.

Seriously I can’t believe this. I was forced to come all this way just for a bunch of pictures? Granted they are nice pictures, like the Strasbourg Cathedral and Lindenhof, but I was honestly expecting something a bit more meaty like old government secrets, or maybe the plans to build a nuclear bomb, not just photos depicting landmarks from both France and Switzerland. Places I’ve been to myself because it's literally just a few hours away from where I lived.

“Hey, what are those places?” Vi then asks, sounding quite fascinated all of a sudden.

“My old home,” I reply. “Pictures of the old world. My world.” I add, suddenly feeling a deep sense of loss and longing.

“Why me,” I whisper before closing my eyes and rubbing my forehead.

“Hey….are you alright?” Vi asks, sounding concerned.

“Yup.” I replay after inhaling sharply through my nose. “Doing just fine.”

“You know, it's pretty obvious that you are not fine.” She points out while crossing her arms.

“Then why did you ask?” I point out back while turning around.

“Out of courtesy.” She replies. “But if you don’t want to talk about it that’s ok too.” She exclaims and seems to leave it at that.

“Well…” I react. “Thanks, I guess,” I reply before turning back. I still need to see what the other zip folders contain so that I can go home and…well…go back to Kabbu’s, Leif’s, and Vi’s home and just sleep all this off. Maybe even ask Eetl if I can take a day off or something.

Yeah, I am sure that’ll work. And wouldn’t you know it, all of the other zip files all contain the exact same thing. Just more photos and pictures, even featuring a couple of pictures of some random people. Probably relatives. This makes you wonder what happened to them. Did they survive? Did they make it? Heck, I don’t even know what exactly happened that caused the end of civilization as we know it. As I know it. If only these pictures could tell me. But sadly, nothing. Just a bunch of vacation photos and a digital copy of this dude's passport.

The only thing I’ve learned today is that this guy's name is Loui Martin from France and that he was 34 years old.

“Well, there you have it.” I declare while double-checking a couple of these files to make sure I haven’t missed anything significant.

I heard H.B. hum to herself as I did so. Having stayed surprisingly silent this entire time.

“Well, in all honestly this wasn’t the outcome I was looking for. But still, this at least confirms one thing.” She states forcing me to look at her.

“And that is?” I ask.

“For one, that I once again did an amazing job as always, and two, that if we can uncover any more of these ancient storage devices that I can feel confident in knowing that your computer over here can easily decipher them. Better than leaving empty handed wouldn’t you say?” She states with a lot of confidence in her voice.

“Sure I guess,” I reply. “But I still would have loved to learn something else today and not just this?” I state while gesturing at the monitor in front of me.

“Don’t we all?” H.B. replies. “Anyway, I guess this concludes our efforts. I would love to work with you again in the future whenever another artifact of technological significance will be discovered.” She declares while adjusting her cracked glasses and smiling.

“Say, where is your assistant? Isn’t she supposed to be here as well?” I ask while looking around.

“You mean Crow? Oh, don’t worry about her. I just sent her away earlier after she started crying when I criticized her for her terrible cable management. She does that sometimes.” She explains like it’s the most normal thing in the world. But I wont question it.

“I see. Well, tell her I said goodbye when she comes back. Other than that I guess I can go home now?” I ask.

She nods. “Sure, just remember to close the door when you leave alright?” She replies before suddenly walking back inside her “storage room”.

Straight to the point, I can respect that.

“Alright, let me just pick up my laptop and then we can…uhm…”I pause.

The cables won’t come off. Did she solder them on? OH MY GOD SHE DID.

“H.BEEEE.!!”

Chapter Text

“Ahh.”I sigh as I sit down with a nice cup of coffee at hand. It’s so nice to be back behind my desk after that whole fiasco with H.B. It's nice to have some semblance of normalcy back to my life…well as normal once life can be inside a post-apocalyptic world now ruled by sentient insects.

But hey it’s the thought that counts…even if those thoughts are-you know what? Let's not ruin this otherwise perfect morning.

Kabbu and the other were already off when I got out of bed, which meant that I had the entire place for myself this morning. Even the flower with a mouth left me relatively alone when I quickly locked it inside Vi’s room.

I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Speaking of fine…

“Morning Melvin.” Eetl greets as he enters the guild. Huh, I didn’t realize he had gone outside. Oh well.

“Oh hey, Boss.” I casually greet him back.

“So…how was the trip? How was visiting the Beehive for the first time?” He asks while standing right in front of my counter.

“Eh so so.” I shrug. “Nothing too exciting…by that, I mean the artifact itself. It was just filled with someone’s vacation photos and nothing else.” I add while sharpening a pencil with a pencil sharpener made out of a mustard seed of all things.

…and the tip broke. FUCK!

Either way, he nods. “Yeah, I heard. Kabbu already told me everything earlier this morning before they left for the Termite Kingdom for some errands. Still, photos from your world? That still sounds exciting to me. Wish I was there.” He suddenly perks up. ”Oh, and he also told me to leave you with this.” He states before placing a small leaf-wrapped package onto my desk.

I blink. “OK…what it is?” I ask.

“Well, it's your lunch. Kabbu thought to maybe buy you some before he and his team left. Straight from Fry” He replies which makes me press my lips together.

“Fry…well ok.” I reply, hiding my slight sense of disgust. I mean I have nothing against fried food but one made by a literally fly? Yeah, I am still kinda biased toward certain bugs in case you can’t tell. I always hated flies back home because of how annoying they were. Not to mention that they have a reputation for eating literal SHIT! But whatever, I think they are way more civilized than that…I think...so let's just try to get used to it and not judge a book by its cover.

But still…

“…thanks,” I respond before sliding the package underneath my desk and into a drawer. “I guess that means the trio will be gone for most of the day yes?” I ask despite already knowing the answer.

He nods, how predictable. “Yeah. You know, you have to see the Termite Kingdom for yourself one day. All of those lights and those massive buildings. Truly dwarves anything we have here at the Ant Kingdom in terms of size and scale. Really a sight to behold.” He gushes while looking up with almost dreamy looking eyes.

I guess Eetl likes the idea of BIG cities. Got it. From Vi’s description, the Termite Kingdom sounds like this world version of New York City which I am totally not interested in.

Large concrete jungles were never my thing.

“Great,” I casually replied. “I’ll keep that in mind next time I travel,” I add, feigning interest. Because he is still my Boss. The same one who is paying me with leathery pieces of fruit each week.

Yeah, I still can’t get over this.

“Fantastic.” He smiles. “Anyway, I'll leave you to your post then.” He excuses himself before walking off to do…something.

Honestly, I’ve never bothered to ask him what he actually does around here ever since we met. Shocking I know and he's the one paying my bills, and yet, I have no fucking clue what HIS actual job is. Funny I know, and yet, I am not complaining.

* As long as I get paid I don’t care what he does. He could be selling off orphans to slave traders behind closed doors and I still wouldn’t care…probably. Which is exactly why I never bothered to ask him since ‘ignorance is bliss’ as the old saying goes. * I think to myself before finally decided to start my shift by pulling out a large book from a drawer underneath my desk and slamming it on top of it.

This…is the book of attendees, Guild members, visitors, and the book of random assholes.

A.K.A the book of grudges as I like to call it.

And speaking of assholes…or should I say, bitches, as a moth and a wasp enter the scene.

“Well, well, well if it isn’t the living fossil himself.” The moth know as Mothiva mockingly sings as she and her partner stride through the entrance before stopping right in front of my desk.

I loudly inhale and exhale through my nose before picking up my pencil and writing down their names, time, and day in the big book of grudges.

Schließlich muss alles eine Ordnung sein.

Once done I greet her. “Greetings there Mothiva. Is there ANY particular reason why you are here?” I ask with a monotone voice.

She scoffs. “Pfff. What do you mean for ‘any particular reason’ We are here to turn in a well-successful mission and collect the reward. In fact, why do you care?” She asks rather rudely.

“Cause it's my JOB!” I point out just as rudely while pointing my pencil at her.

She laughs. “You mean being Eetl’s doorstopper? Please, I have absolutely no clue why you waste your time with this job. Eetl and Artis never bothered to hire a receptionist until you showed up. I just think they did it out of sympathy for being the last of your kind” She guesses. Which might not be so wrong after all, which makes it even worse coming from her .

“Well, thanks for bloody reminding me,” I reply with a deadpan look.

She smiles. “Anyway, feel free to visit my upcoming concert if you want to listen to a true champion. Anyway, I am off. Zap, let's go.” She declares before finally walking off.

“I’m sorry for her ego.” The wasp whispers before quickly catching up to her. What a simp. But at least with them gone I can confidently say that with these two out of the way (and without causing a scene like last time), the worst is finally done, things can finally start to improve for the rest of the day and nothing can possibly make this day even…

“Good morning, Melvin.” Professor Neolith suddenly greets me as he enters the lobby.

* Fuck, too soon * I think to myself while trying to stifle a groan, and failing, so instead it comes out more like a whimper which makes it even worse. So to quickly save face I promptly jot down his name and date before addressing him.

“Morning to you too prof. Has the library been too lonely for you already?” I ask half-jokingly half serious with a hint of sarcasm. Yeah, don’t ask me how that works.

Either way, he smiles. “Not particularly. But I wanted to come by to ask you a few questions if that is alright?” He replies.

“Uh…buddy. I am in the middle of a job here. Can’t this wait for later?” Gesturing at the rather empty-looking lobby around me with no other soul in sight.

He laughs “Ah, it’ll be quick. In fact, it's related to some of the photos you and H.B managed to recover out of the artifact.” He clarifies before pulling out a small folder from behind his left wing.

You know I have yet to see a single bug make use of their wings ever since I came here. I mean, what is the point of having wings if you don’t fucking use them?

Their wings, that are made for FLYING.

Unless…evolution decided to be a bitch again and gave every single bug in Bugaria vestigial wings which are underdeveloped and incapable of producing lift. Which sucks. Especially for bees because moths can use their wings as makeshift cloaks or capes at least. Evident on both Leif and the Prof over here.

Either way, back to the folder that has already been dropped on my desk with a few photos already spilling out. I do recognize some of them. Like that one photo of a dude standing next to a tree while attaching a swing on one of its branches.

“Ok…these look pretty normal so far. So what’s the problem?” I ask while looking back at him.

“I just want to know if these photos depict your kind's size accurately. Is it true that they were this large in comparison to a tree?” He asks.

“I mean yeah,” I reply. “I mean hell, you guys even call us ‘the giants’ so it should be obvious.” I point out at the end.

“I know but I just want to make sure you know.” He agrees before looking back at the photos in front of him. Spinning them around so that he isn’t viewing them upside down.

“Fascinating. Before, there were only speculations about how big they were, but now we have photographic evidence of their actual size. Truly remarkable.” He rambles on, doing his usual scholarly talk thing that scholars do.

“So this means you were once this big too yes?” He once again asks

I just nod.

“Truly inspiring.” He once again gushes as his antennas perk up with excitement.

“There are some physical tests I like to do. Which is actually the main reason why I came down here. Are you willing to come to my office at a later date so that I can examine your biology a little bit closer? I promise it won’t hurt.” He certifies in the end/assures me.

That he actually had to “specify” that it won’t hurt really has me worried now. What exactly has he planned for me to have to say that? Now I’m suspicious.

“Professor…I would “love” to help you with your research but I really don’t have the time. I have to work at this guild 24/7 to ensure everyone who passes through those doors gets listed down. Hell, that little excursion from yesterday already created a decent amount of backlog for me to work though. I mean look at all those request fliers I still have to sort through.” I point at the pile to my left and…wait where is my pile? Usually, there is always a semi-large stack of LEAFS for me to sort through every day since I started this job. Where the hell is it now?

My Alibi.

“Hold on,” I announce while getting up. “EETL! BOSS?” I call out.

After a few moments of waiting, he finally replies. “Yeah, what is it?” He calls back before poking his head from behind a doorway on the other side of the room. 

“Where are all the fliers?” I ask while pointing at the spot next to me where the aforementioned fliers are meant to be.

He perks up before fully exposing himself. “Oh, those. Me and Artis already went through all of them yesterday while you were gone. So you don’t need to worry about it. Today at least.” He replies.

“…Fuck there goes my excuse.” I think to myself. Now I’m suddenly feeling nervous.

“Well…thanks I guess…but one more question. Where is everybody? Besides the Simp and the Egomaniac, there is no one else here. Usually, this place is full of people-uh I mean bugs. Even from just visitors.” I ask.

“Oh, you don’t know?” He replies while sounding a bit bewildered. “Today is Sunday. Which means most bugs are either in their homes or enjoying themselves. The Exploration Association though is open 24/7 but during weekends it's usually quiet around here. So you can also go home if you like.” He explains.

Now it makes sense why this place is so fucking empty today and why Kabbu and the others left for the Termite Kingdome this morning.

They are just there to enjoy themselves. Fuck. That means I have nothing else to do here, which means…

“Oh, that is perfect. We can do the physical tests today if you like?” The professor asks while beaming me with the most encouraging insect smile ever.

I look at Eetl for a possible reason as to why I can’t go but he was already gone. I could say now but…part of the reason why I have it so easy around here is because of HIM. Because he was the one who filled out all the paperwork necessary for me to even stay here, even disregarding Team Snakemouth's willingness to help me.

I somewhat owe him.

“Fiiiiine!” I sigh.

“Great. Let me just collect these photos and will be off…oops” He paused as some of them fell to the floor.

Wonderful.