Work Text:
Sleep was one of the greatest joys in life. Most people did it in a bed. However, in the Kujo-Costello-Nobody-Else-Put-Their-Surname-On-The-Mailbox household, not everyone did. Weather slept in a grand piano. F.F. occasionally slept in the fish tank (no fish were harmed in the process). Anatsui secretly likes sleeping in a dog bed. Jolyne would fall asleep in the car, on the couch, on the kitchen counter, every now and then she made it to the bed. Ermes was the only one who constantly slept in a bed. Her and their son of course.
It was Sunday morning and Anasui making breakfast for everyone (mostly Jolyne). He had three cups of coffee out for Jolyne, Weather, and Ermes (who was already drinking hers). There was a glass of orange juice for Emporio and three glasses of water for F.F.
Emporio entered the kitchen, “I have an announcement to make.”
“What is it?” asked Ermes.
“I would like a helicopter bed, I believe it will make me a better pilot.”
“I don’t think they make those,” said Ermes.
“We’ll get you whatever bed you want,” said Anasui.
***
The next day Anasui was researching helicopter beds. He found that they did exist. Those the range of beds tend toward the less realistic side of things. Still, they were decently priced and they didn’t take up too much space. Seemingly perfect timing Emporio walked into the room.
“Hey, do you want to pick out a bed?” asked Anasui.
“About that I have decided that after a bit of research, my request is too unrealistic.”
“Of course, it isn’t.”
“Well I realize I would only be happy with a realistic bed and that is unrealistic so I would like you to forget my request.”
“Emporio.”
“Don’t worry, I’m fine,” said Emporio walking away dejected.
On complete impulse, Anasui bought a helicopter.
***
After tucking Emporio in bed Anasui walked to the living room where his partners were. F.F. and Jolyne were cuddling on the couch. Ermes was reading a magazine on the loveseat. And Weather was playing the grand piano. Wait a damn minute, there were strings in the piano. Did Weather take out the strings before he slept, or did they have a separate piano. How would he not notice a whole other piano.
“Are you okay?” asked Jolyne pulling Anasui out of his starring.
“I’m fine but there is something I want to tell you guys,” The group looked up at him, “The garage is respectfully my space. Everyone has been gracious enough to allow it to be my workshop. As such you should respect-”
“I don’t respect you,” interrupted F.F.
“Silence yourself.”
“I think you make stupid decisions on the daily.”
“I’m not the one who jumped into a lake full of alligators.”
“I will lock you two in a closet if you don’t get along,” said Ermes.
“You did that last month,” said Weather.
“So, as you were saying,” said Jolyne.
“You should respect my decision to put a helicopter in there.”
“I respect that,” said Weather.
“You did what?” Ermes dropped her magazine.
“I’m a firm believer that impulsiveness leads to a great story,” said Jolyne a quote that may or may not come from her great-grandfather Joseph Joestar.
“And you said I make stupid decisions,” said F.F.
“I caught you sitting in a sink.”
“You know how much helicopters cost!” said Ermes.
“Two thousand dollars, I didn’t use the group account.” Because using his own bank account changed everything.
“It takes up space!”
“In the garage which you don’t go in, plus I’m taking it apart.”
Ermes stared at her boyfriend. Her pink-hair dumbass boyfriend, “You’re making a bed for Emporio.”
***
After that, he had everyone’s support, especially Jolyne’s. Granted that was probably because she was attracted to chaos. The helicopter came a week later and Anasui immediately disassembled it. Anasui was taking apart the helicopter starting with the propellers and working his way down. It wasn’t until he dissembled the entire thing Anasui realized that he would have to build it in Emporio’s bedroom. Also, there wasn’t exactly a manual for what he was doing.
Anasui did the reasonable thing of waiting in his son’s bedroom. Naturally, his hand was on the back of his head as his other hand touched his breast. He stated in that pose as he waited for Emporio to come home.
“Why are you posing like that?”
“I’m not posing.”
“Yes, you are, everyone in this house does that,” as far as Emporio was aware only his parents did it so maybe it was a polyamorous thing.
“I bought a helicopter,” Anasui said breaking his pose.
“Ermes is going to kill you.”
“She’s too busy to do that,” said Anasui, “Do you want to convert your bed into a helicopter?”
“How long will that take?”
“Probably this weekend.”
Emporio took a moment to consider all his options. “Yes.”
***
After buying safety equipment (Ermes’s idea) the duo started on the bed. It was agreed that their best bet was to build a helicopter and put a mattress inside. Anasui shorted the propellers and helicopter tail.
“That was a tight fit,” said Emporio.
“Sure was,” said Anasui. They just squeezed the mattress inside.
“What are you going to do with that?” asked Emporio pointing to the seats and other parts lying on the ground.
“Sell it on eBay unless you want it.”
“Can I have the profit?”
Anasui just stared at him, “Sure.”
The two looked onto their finished project. It was more of a bed tucked into a black helicopter. To access the bed one had to open the helicopter door. Anasui made Emporio promise to sleep with the door opened in case of a fire. Speaking of which, Emporio painted baseballs on said doors.
“Real enough for you?”
“It is, thank you,” Emporio hugged his legs.
And fuck that was what parenting was really about, getting hugs out of your kids.