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The Blood of Coldharbour

Chapter 29: IN WHICH A tenuous connection to canon is re-established

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In the northern reaches of Skyrim, HERT rests in chains upon a dock. A dark, hooded figure stands beside her, keeping an eye on her while VINGALMO calls the boat.

 

HERT

Do you have a name?

 

The guard remains silent.

 

HERT

This isn’t necessary anymore. Where would I go, back to Ronwen? She’s free by now.

 

GUARD

Silence.

 

HERT

I’ll be quiet if you tell me your name. I don’t like all this “anonymous spectre” crap that you guard-types always pull. The Stormcloaks do it, the Empire does it, and neither of them look as cool doing it as they think they do. You’re a person, aren’t you?

 

GUARD

Yes, I’m a person.

 

HERT

Hello, person. I’m Hert. Also a person.

 

GUARD

Hert. Hm.

 

HERT

What?

 

GUARD

Sounds like the name of a woman who can shut the fuck up.

 

HERT chuckles.

 

HERT

I’d probably cut you for saying that if I weren’t all chained up like this. That’s Ronnie’s influence, there.

 

The GUARD looks down at HERT and snorts.

 

GUARD

Look, lady; I’m doing you a favour right now. Shut up, seriously. I don’t like hurting women.

 

HERT

Ah yes, a true chivalric hero you are.

 

GUARD

Just fucking shut up!

 

HERT

Like I said – I’ll shut up if you tell me your name.

 

The GUARD sighs and looks back up to the docks.

 

GUARD

Hern. My name is Hern. Now will you shut it ‘fore I get some orders I don’t like?

 

HERT

Are you a vampire?

 

HERN

No.

 

HERT

Would you like to be?

 

HERN scowls at HERT and raises the butt of his spear.

 

HERN

Don’t do that. You said you’d shut up.

 

HERT

Did I say when I’d shut up? Do you want to be a vampire? ‘Cause look, I don’t know a lot about the Volkihars, but they don’t seem like the types to keep their promises to the Help.

 

HERN steps away from HERT and pummels HERT’s leg with the butt of his spear. She yelps, but remains mostly unharmed.

 

HERN

I know what you’re doing. Stop it.

 

HERT

Look, just… something to keep in mind, yeah? In case things go badly in future, with the whole “becoming a vampire” thing. I can give you what you want.

 

HERN

What I want is for you to shut up.

 

HERT

Alright. Alright.

 

HERT goes quiet. The boat approaches from out of the mist, and she’s trundled aboard and rowed to the isle of Castle Volkihar.