Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

2013- Oklahoma- Friday 8am

“Gerard, get out here,” Violet, My Chemical Romance’s band manager yelled. Gerard groaned. They’d been traveling all night to get to the most extreme, most rewarding, battle of the bands competition since 2012. 

“There’s been a new development with the competition,” Violet continued, “you’re going to have to work with another band.” Gerard groaned again, they strummed their guitar. Another band? This could go horribly wrong!

People didn’t normally like to work with Gerard or the rest of My Chemical Romance, they said that Gerard was too much of an asshole to have any fun with, that he was too serious and important, but Gerard didn’t need to be fun. He just needed to be the best band out there. They needed to tell stories and sing songs about real, important issues. 

“You’ll be working with One Direction, they also have a smaller audience. I’m communicating with their band manager, Sabrina. You and the lead vocalist are meeting for coffee to workshop your single,” she looked at his ratty black tee-shirt and ripped black jeans, “you might want to change into something more professional,” Violet left the room.

Ugh, he thought, no one understands me. He changed into a button up blue shirt and dress pants. They felt they were going to church or something, it was horrible. Gerard grabbed their guitar and case, and walked out of the tour bus, checking his phone to see that Violet had sent him the location.

When Gerard walked in, he was not expecting what he saw. The person in front of him had brown hair that cascaded across his face, framing his sparkling, gorgeous, blue eyes. The man smiled his perfect smile.

“Ello! I’m Harry!” His British accent was so hot, but no. He couldn’t feel this way about some stupid pop singer. “You must be Gerard, you look bloody fantastic in that button up blue shirt and dress pants! Love the guitar, very british!” 

“Thanks,” Gerard said, “I mean.. whatever. Let’s get to work,” 

“Work can wait!” Harry smiled, “to truly write a song, we must get to know each other, mate!” 

“Fine. Gerard. You couldn’t tell it right now but my soul is as black as coal. I hate the government, and the music I make is the exact opposite… of you,” Gerard sounded disgusted. “I write about real things, not like your stupid romances,” 

“Well…” Harry flipped his hair, “that’s not very polite, innit?” his beautiful eyes had turned dark. Gerard immediately regretted his words, a wave of dread, (larger than normal) crashed over him. 

“Sorry,” Gerard responded despondently. “you’re right, I didn’t mean to be so rude. You go, what are you like Harry?” 

“Number one, I’m not a bitch to the person that can help you win the battle of the bands and change your life,” Harry replied. Gerard smiled. He didn’t realize there was a darkness to this shining, British man. 

“Number two, I may not write about hard hitting issues, but at least I’m not an emotionless emo boy,” Gerard finally sat down, he didn’t want to admit that this feistiness was deeply attractive to him. He pulled out a notebook, it had an anarchy sticker on the front. Harry took out a notebook, it had a cat meme sticker on it. Gerard sighed, could they ever actually get along? 

Gerard flipped through the pages of his notebook. Words of hate and emotional venting filled the pages. He glanced over, seeing Harry's notebook, he couldn't bring himself to read the pop-empty minded lyrics written with gel pen. 

"So mate, what are we supposed to write about?" Harry asked. He nodded to a barista that set down a caramel frappuccino in front of him. Gerard ordered a black coffee. There was no use for sugar in his cold, dead, heart. 

"Something good," Gerard muttered to himself, then spoke to Harry, "we have very different styles, this isn't ever going to work," 

"We can at least try," Harry suggested.

Marry Me: By Gerard Way and Harry Styles

And there she was, the most beautiful girl of all.

The government has messed up, time and time again, they shall fall

Her face looked powerful enough to be a politician

Which was terrible, and I hated it, she was ugly

Her eyes sparkled, despite her flawed features and governmental prowess

I love you like I love the second amendment

But I hate you like I hate organized government

You're still the most beautiful gal to me

~yeah yeah yeah~

Marry me 

Baby, marry me

The sun's glow can't compare to yours

Beach day all year when I run with you, babe

Babe, I can't believe that we can stay here forever

We can hug until the world implodes, just you and me together

I love you like I love the second amendment

But I hate you like I hate organized government

You're still the most beautiful gal to me

~yeah yeah yeah~

Marry me 

Baby, marry me

Chains pull me down, stop me from speaking my truth 

A wretched crown upon my head, I stand upon the fallen dead

Gun violence

Gun violence

The crown was the constitution all along. Obama. 

I love you like I love the second amendment

But I hate you like I hate organized government

You're still the most beautiful gal to me

~yeah yeah yeah~

Marry me 

Baby, marry me

I miss her eyes.

I miss not being restrained by the government using police force.

I miss her hair, and I miss her stare

And I miss the way she would throw a pipe bomb into a police station if asked.

I love you like I love the second amendment

But I hate you like I hate organized government

You're still the most beautiful gal to me

~yeah yeah yeah~

Marry me 

Baby, marry me

Suddenly the bell on the coffee shop door rang and Violet strutted up to their table

“So, have you done any work yet?” she asked, looking over the notebooks and papers that sat in front of them. Her eyes fell to the song.

“God this is terrible,” she said, shaking her head, “both of you are incredibly talented songwriters and when I leave you alone you come up with… this. Clearly there is something wrong.” 

"I mean- it's not that bad," Harry said, sounding especially defensive. Gerard could understand the frustration with Violet, he couldn't believe that she was their assigned band manager. 

"It's horrible," she responded. "this might be the most miserable piece of art I have ever laid eyes on, and I was preschool teacher,"  

“At least let the other members look at it, we need more than one opinion.” Gerard said, looking up at Violet through his dark hair. 

"No opinions should be had on this. You two need to figure yourselves out, or you'll be putting both of your bands in jeopardy for the 2013 Oklahoma Battle of The Bands™. You’re both indie bands right now, and I know for a FACT that you can do better," Violet sighed, her purple eyes looked disappointed.

"You two have the rest of the day off," she paused for a moment, digging through her purse. She pulled out two museum tickets to The American Pigeon Museum & Library, “Here, go on a museum date. Get to know each other.”

“Ew,” Harry said, “don’t call it a date.”

Something inside Gerard dropped, but he tried to ignore it. Was Harry totally straight? He'd never heard rumors about a girlfriend for Harry on facebook. Maybe it was because they had just met, and to be fair, Gerard hadn't set his best foot forward. No, he told himself, I have a girlfriend, I love her, I love my girlfriend. I may be emo, but I am a straight American nonbinary half man, who, by the way, absolutely despises the government. 

"Whether it's a date or not, you two hurry along. Make sure to be back before six, we have a meeting with the head of the 2013 Oklahoma Battle of the Bands™ to discuss logistics. All the participating bands will be there. Don't be late," Violet said, then walked off. Harry stared at the tickets in his hands, then looked at Gerard, he could barely see Gerard's eyes under his emo haircut. 

"So… pigeons.” Harry said.

“Pigeons are part of the dove family, maybe that's why Violet called it a date," 

“Huh, that makes sense I guess.”

“I mean, since I’ve known her for so long I can say for a fact that Violet loves bird facts. And she loves flower symbolism," Gerard said.

"You have? I thought we were all given the band managers last week?" Harry looked confused, especially that British kind of confused Gerard had always seen from the people in the movies.

“Yeah, but she’s a childhood friend, she inspired me to start my band… I guess I was just lucky that she was chosen for me." 

"Huh, I suppose that is a lucky catch! So… are you guys like, dating or anything?"

“No! Look I know we were childhood friends and we're different genders, but she's kind of a bitch now. Band manager school will do that to you, I guess. Plus I have a girlfriend so it wouldn’t ever happen at all." 

“Really? My band manager Sabrina is super nice!” Harry replied.

“Huh. If only,” Gerard said, shrugging.

Harry stuffed his things into his bag. Gerard put his guitar in the guitar case, and then they walked out of the coffee shop. However, neither of them noticed the piece of paper with a song they wrote on it, still lying on the table. And neither of them could suspect the innocuous looking boy with bright blond hair who picked it up. 

—

Gerard and Harry entered the museum, it was beautiful. Pigeons fluttered through the halls, singing their coos and caws, dancing around their heads and flying off to greet the next visitors. Gerard felt… inspired? Their beautiful singing sounded a bit like pop music, but with undertones of anarchy and true feeling. He could tell that these pigeons hated the government, and loved women. Harry seemed just as transfixed by their beautiful song. His green eyes were filled with wonder. 

“...Wow…” Harry said, his head turning in every direction to look at the birds around him.

“I know… it’s like a dream. It’s like heaven,”

Harry smiled at Gerard.

“Hey, that sounds like a bloody good song lyric.”

“You’re right,” Gerard said, shocked, "wait… did I just imply that you're a decent songwriter?"

Harry laughed. "Maybe Violet was right… a trip to the museum is doing us wonders, and we haven't even checked in yet," Harry held up the tickets like he was holding up the ten commandments, "you ready to check the rest of this place out?" 

First they walked into an exhibit, it was advertised as 'the pigeon matriarch', pigeon taxidermy depicting the failures of patriarchy and sexism in modern society. Gerad felt moved by the pigeon pantomimes, and the beautiful ceiling, painted with the same quality as the Sistine Chapel. 

"These pigeons… they seem to speak to me," Harry admitted, "one day, I want to write about sexism… these women, they don't deserve this," 

"You're right," Gerard sighed deeply. "patriarchy has so many issues that run deep beneath our world. The effect it has had seems to be immortal, being a woman may feel hopeless. I'm so glad this exhibit is highlighting these issues. And with pigeons? Well that's genius," 

“You’re so right…” Harry said, a pigeon landing on his shoulder. The pigeon had black feathers. Then, a white pigeon landed on Gerards. They looked at eachother, and laughed.

They walked out of the exhibit, down a hallway, and into a small unmarked room. Plants seemed to snake out of the room, flowers climbing up the walls. Inside was a tree, on the ground, two pigeons, unclothed, greeted a hawk with a snake tongue.

“The garden of eden,” Harry said, admiring the eloquently set up room. The apple that hung from the tree was a vibrant red, and contrasted all the green that surrounded them. A large taxidermy pigeon with a halo of gold was hung from the ceiling. Pigeons with angel wings seemed to float down on strings. 

"And that’s God,” Gerard said, pointing up at the angelic bird. "You know… I think this place has given me inspiration that I wouldn't have gotten otherwise. And Harry… I think this might work out,"

Harry looked at him, and responded.

“You know, I’m chuffed to write this next song with you.”

Chapter Text

The conference room was barren, aside from a painting of a flower field that hung behind the golden throne. Band members started to filter in, taking their seats around the round table. A few of the highlights were ‘Ferg and Sons,’ a family band that created mostly heavy metal with some emo elements, and ‘Kerosene Milton,’ a country band with left-leaning politically charged songwriting. 

The last to enter were Gerard and Harry. The entire conference room looked at them as they walked in. Violet facepalmed. Sabrina, One Direction's Band Manager patted her on the back.

Gerard looked embarrassed as he sat down, quickly apologizing to Violet. 

At the front of the room sitting on the throne was Steven Bethoven, a striking man with high cheekbones and a clipboard in his strong hands. 

“Welcome,” he said, “to the first 2013 Oklahoma Battle of the Bands meeting of the competition. Before we begin, I would like to thank Ferg for bringing in pizza for everyone.” Steven pointed over at Ferg, dad and band leader of Ferg and Sons. Ferg smiled wide and held up the stack of pizza boxes up like a golden calf.

Harry high fived Zayne, “Thank gosh, I was starving after all those bloody pigeons! The only thing they had in the gift shop were Bibles,” 

Zayne nodded understandably, “That makes sense, I heard about that exhibit on facebook, the new social media site that everyone’s raving about!” 

“I’m pretty sure Liam is doing the one for our band,” Harry said as they walked over to get their slices. “real american pizza! From New York as well, it says on the box!” 

Once everyone had gotten their pizza, Steven pulled up a powerpoint presentation. Gerard looked impressed. He turned to Frank.

“Wow, if that powerpoint presentation was the government, we wouldn’t have any problems,” Gerard whispered. Frank gave him a big enthusiastic thumbs up. 

“I love powerpoints,” Frank replied. 

“ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!” Steven said, the lights dimmed. “STEVEN THE EVENT ORGANIZER IN THE HOUSE!” Someone started playing the drums. 

Yo, I’m Steven, 53 years old

Here to show you that I have a story to be told

It’s about competition, music, and more

Listen up, cause this ain’t a candy store

You’ll collab with another band and write a tune

And after that your performance will boom

The collabs that lose will be kicked to the curb

And the ones that win, well you’re suburb

You’ll then battle each other, friends turned rivals 

It’ll be like an episode of survivor- when you’re at tribal

Finalists will move to the last and final round

Where they’ll have to impress everyone, with a brand new sound

Whoever wins that one, wins the game

But all in all, we’re still the same 

The prize? Money in great supply 

However, some terms and conditions may still apply

Steven dropped the mic. Everyone clapped. Gerard turned to Ray.

“Wow, he’s really good,” 

“Yeah, the band he used to be in won the 2008 Washington DC Presidential Battle of the Bands, the final winner was chosen by George Bush,” Ray strummed his guitar, doing a new riff. Then all the band managers walked to the front of the room. There was Violet, from MCR, Sabrina, from One Direction, Kevin from Kerosene Milton, Sylvester, from Ferg and Sons, Christmas, from the Mistle-Tones, Cathy, from Mr. Sistertwister, Mr. Bear, from Maple Stirrup, and Craig, from Jealousy Hawk. 

Steven looked at the band managers and began to clap. Everyone in the room stood up and began clapping as well.

“That’s my band manager!” a young girl cried out from the audience, probably from Mister SisterTwister, Harry thought, because she’s a literal child. Gerard gave a professional nod to Violet, who rolled her eyes and smiled at Sabrina instead. 

“To introduce you to our responsibilities as band managers, we created a little tune!” Cathy said in a motherly tone. The lights dimmed once more. They all pulled out ukuleles and began to sing. 

What’s up gang, the name is Cathy. I do your paperwork in snappy! 

Hello, hello, call me Violet. I review your songs before you rhyme it!

Hey dudes, I’m Sabrina. I give you a hug when there’s someone who’s mean-a. 

Sylvester is what you’ll call me. I’ll make sure your costumes are ready to see.

Kevin’s my name! Get lost? Band member tracking is my game. 

Grr, Argh, Mr. Bear is who I am. Catering is my jam. Grr. 

Mr. Christmas, all year’ round. Making sure everyone can hear your sound!

Craig with a C, who else could it be? 

Everyone rose to a standing ovation, the ukelele’s definitely added to the intricate lyrics and symbolism. Steven entered the stage for what would be his last battle of the bands conference. He would die later that day from heart failure. The mourning period would do little to interurupt the battle, nobody was that upset, besides his foreign lover, El’ Ravioli Fernandez, from Italy, who wore a veil to conceal his face so nobody could reveal the affair to his wife. He was the first to arrive, and the last to leave as the sun set below the graveyard. 

+++

“HARRY! WHERE’D YOU LEAVE YOUR FISH AND CHIPS SHIRT!” Zayne yelled, they had just gotten back from the funeral and they were still wearing the uncomfortable (but flattering) all black suits. My Chemical Romance had worn the same style, but in red. It’s what he would’ve wanted, Gerard insisted. Zayne had overheard the whole thing while he was sipping his tea. Steven’s favorite colors had been black and red, and he always said that if he ever died before his day, he hoped that the mourners would go wearing void black and blood red in honor of his memory. El’ Ravioli had been in white, with a deep red rose pinned on his hat providing a stark contrast. 

“WE WASHED THE SHIRTS, I THINK YOUR CRISPS SHIRT IS IN THE CUPBOARD THOUGH!” Harry yelled back. Harry was right, the shirt Nin his cupboard. The group joined at their tour bus table. Sabrina held a clipboard. 

“Alright One D! Let’s hop to it, Harry and Gerard have been hard at work trying to write a song for all of us to perform. We’re going to meet up with MC Romance to discuss and learn a bit about each other!” Sabrina sighed, “I know we’re all reeling from the terrible loss of Steven, but you do have obligations. It was in the contract,” she clapped her hands. 

Then, One Direction followed Sabrina out of the bus and into the abandoned warehouse. There were cubicles set up. After some looking, they found the one for My Chemical Romance and One Direction. They all sat around a table. 

Frank gave a look to Louis and Liam, who blew kisses back. Harry opened his eyes wide.

“Oy, what the bloody hell is going on here?”

Frank looked up at Harry, and turned his head to the side

“What do you mean? Everyone knows about it, we sent a group whatsapp message, outlining the whole thing!" Frank smiled. "me, Louis, and Liam are in polyamorous relationship,"

It was Gerards turn to look shocked. 

"You guys are… huh?" he ran his fingers through his jet black hair, revealing his brown eyes, for the first time in months. "I never expected this Frank… Can you remind me what polyamory is? For the benefit of everyone here… I mean," 

"Polyamory (from Ancient Greek πολλοί (polloí) 'many', and Latin amor 'love') is the practice of, or desire for, romantic relationships with more than one partner at the same time, with the informed consent of all partners involved. People who identify as polyamorous may believe in open relationships with a conscious management of jealousy and reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity (monogamy) are prerequisite for deep, committed, long-term, loving relationships. Others prefer to restrict their sexual activity to only members of the group, a closed polyamorous relationship that is usually referred to as polyfidelity," Louis recited.

"In English, please?" Gerard said sarcastically, but also he kind of meant it. 

"Basically, it's like if you had one boyfriend, but you have two," Liam responded, "it's pretty new to us, but it's greatly benefited our lives and relationships. Sure, we have conflicts, but we've learned to overcome them through problem solving techniques, we also have a group facebook account,"

"I'm so happy for you guys," Ray said, "I wish I could date someone,"

All of a sudden, Niall walked through the room. He was back from his voyage on the Golfing Cruise. He was supposed to be here earlier, but his cruise ship got delayed due to technical difficulties within the ship’s coal fuel room. Everyone cheered, they had missed him greatly, especially his hilarious stories and one liners. The other members hugged him and then he joined the group at the table. 

"Did someone mention dating?" Niall sighed, "I've recently realized I'm bisexual, so if any of you are free tomorrow evening-"

 "No interband dating," Gerard said harshly, but in a jokey way, "anyhow, we need to brainstorm. We don't have all day," Then, Mikey looked up from his watch and spoke. None of My Chemical Romance had heard him speak in years, due to his sacred vow of silence. 

"We technically do have all day," Mikey said. 

“Wait… Mikey… what happened to your vow of silence?” Gerard said, shocked.

“It’s sort of a long story,” Mikey replied, “But I’ll be back to it in about two weeks, and then I’ll stay like that for the rest of my life,” He sounded surprisingly good, for not having talked for almost six years. 

"Makes sense," Gerard responded. Sabrina clapped her hands, calling the attention of both bands. Violet joined her at the front. They pulled up a powerpoint. 

"Powerpoint!" Frank said excitedly. "I love powerpoint!"

"Here are your rivals, for the 2013 Oklahoma Battle of the Bands," 

Maple Stirrup is a band that originated out of the Canadian Wilderness. They are a Folk Music and Disco fusion band. The most prominent members are Syrup Jesse, an elderly man known for his amazing banjo skills, and Lord and Lady Snowball, the lyricists behind their enthralling songs surrounding many Canadian topics. Some of their most popular albums are "Ice Hockey Poutine," and "Politeness Moose,". The group has won many Folk-Disco Fusion themed battle of the bands because of their inventive ways of playing instruments, electronic elements, and capturing performances. They have also written music for their own original musical, "A profile of Canada: The Musical,". 

Jealousy Hawk is a classic rock band that was formed by two men, John and Carmen. They were two brothers who famously were the illegitimate sons of John Lennon. Because of this fame they were able to start their own band, which they named after a classmate of theirs, Jakob Socket. Later the name was changed because Jakob sued. All further members were also children of classic rock artists, aside from Lisa who one day just ended up in their practice room for unknown reasons. She joined because she could not remember where she lived and they needed a drummer. Their hits include “I will eat the earth” and “Remember him”

Mr. Sistertwister is a band made up of six twelve year old girls who are all sisters. Run by their mother, the band started off as a small pop band that performed at school talent shows and sometimes at happy hour at the local bar. They soon grew in popularity when a talent scout showed up at their door and offerent them ten thousand dollars to write an original song for a the hit Disney Channel movie, Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam. The song skyrocketed in popularity and they have been getting gigs ever since. They mostly sing about middle school crushes and friendships, but have the occasional existential crisis song. Their hits include “That Boy Over There”, “Monkey Bar Boy” and “The End is Nigh” 

The Mistle-Tones, known from their hit documentary of the same name, "The Mistle-Tones," are a rising Christmas Carol acapella group. Their music is themed around Christmas, and relating topics, such as Winter, Snow, Snowmen, and Cookies. The band consists of, (according to wikipedia) six members, including Holly, the leader, and AJ, Holly's friend and close confidant. After a smaller battle of the bands, consisting of the Mistle-Tones and the Snow Belles, while they did lose, the group went on to win many awards for their new and inventive ways of celebrating Christmas and Christianity. Some of their hit original singles consist of, "Gingerbread and the Lion Den," and "Someday I'll Christmas You," 

Kerosene Milton is a country band started in Massachusetts. In interviews the lead singer Jerry said “We love country music, but it has such a bad rap for being all about guns and hating women. We at Kerosene Milton love women. We wanted to make a band of the music we love, that has our politics attached to it." Thus the band started making songs that included leftist themes such as socialism and not banning books. Their most famous song, “Meet me outside the USSR” is about how much the USSR misunderstood the idea of communism, and how if they had been the leaders of Russia at the time, there would be no KGB. They have been under fire a couple of times for lying about having doctorates, but each band member made up for it by getting a doctorate. Their other billboard hits include “Tell me the way, Marxy May” and “Eat my boot dirt George Washington”

Ferg and Sons is a family band originating from outside Hawaii. It consists of Ferg, his brother Eddington, and his four sons, Fork Ferg, Fred Ferg, Felt Ferg, and Furl Ferg, who rose to popularity because of their intricate heavy metal tunes. Weaving the harsh sounds with their clear kindness and love for humanity results in a surprisingly beautiful set of Albums, EP's, and Singles. Ferg and Sons are known for their humanitarian work, medical charity, 'The Ferg Foundation' that provides cancer treatment, Philanthropic work, and positive influence over today's rambunctious youth. Some of their hit albums include, "You're Misunderstood, you're still mine," and "Darkness within: Finding the light,". All members are also currently licensed therapists under US law, and have backgrounds in Musical Theater, Art, and Physcology. 

"Wow, so we have a lot ahead of us?" Gerard said, still bamboozled over the reveal of the polyamorous relationship, and grief from losing Steven.

“Well, sort of, but also not exactly,” Violet replied, “you two have teamed up for this round and you will be fighting Jealousy Hawk and Maple Stirrup, who have also teamed up. Ferg and Sons will be working with the Mistle-Tones to battle Mr. Sistertwister and Kerosene Milton. Whoever wins each of those fights will then fight the person they worked with, for example if you guys won you would have to battle each other, then whoever wins that battle fights the person in the other group who won their battle. The winner of that will be the final champion. So there are many bands you won’t ever have to fight, or even meet if you don’t want to." 

"Wow," Harry said. 

Chapter Text

Gerard leaned back in his chair, lightly strumming his guitar in thought. Harry hummed along. It was a surprisingly warm Oklahoma day, the result of climate change, most likely, Gerard thought. Harry looked at him.

“You’re thinking about climate change aren’t you?” He said, stopping his humming.

Gerard nodded, could Harry really read his thoughts like this? I guess we’ve been spending too much time together. From band photoshoots to interviews with magazines, it seemed they hadn’t spent a moment apart since the conference. They were getting closer and closer to the first performance, and now that they knew each other better, it was time for a second shot at songwriting. 

“So, I thought up some ideas,” Gerard opened his notebook, “anarchy, violence, government protest- oh wait, I came up with some softer ones… for your sake,” 

“Oy! Go on then!” Harry prompted. 

“The struggles of relationships, um, the love of nature, conflicting political views, barbed wire, chains-”

“Let’s go with the struggles of relationships,” Harry interrupted. Gerard laughed.

“Yeah, I assumed you would go with that one,

“Have you had any struggles in relationships?” Harry asked, “it’s important to write music from the heart, personal experiences and such,” 

Gerard thought for a moment. He had his girlfriend, Stephanie Meyers. She had no relation to the actual Stephanie Meyer, besides a love of books and writing literature. And their long distance relationship was going pretty well, at least he thought. There had been some difficulties when he went on tour with the rest of MCR, and the battle of the bands had seemed to put a wall up between them, but all relationships had their ups and downs. A bit of turbulence didn’t mean a crash. During September a few years ago they agreed to work on their relationship after some difficulties in their homelife. And all the work paid off- it had to. He shook his head a little bit.

“No, I haven’t had any difficulties in my relationships,” Gerard said. Harry looked suspicious.

“Everyone’s had a bit’ a trouble mate!” Harry shook his head, “I was seeing this guy, Karl, and he was, well he wasn’t the biggest fan of British people. We fought a lot about where to eat for dinner, I wanted beans on toast and he wanted hamburgers! We broke up after he broke my tower of london snow globe,” Harry looked heartbroken. 

“Huh,” Gerard responded, “that reminds me of the famous communist revolutionary, Karl Marx. I look up to him,” 

“I don’t know who that is. Did he have relationship problems?”

“Apparently Karl and Fredrick Engles had a lot of conflict in their love, writing a book like that can bring people together, but also drive them very far apart,”

“I don’t think that’s what happened,” Harry turned his head in confusion. 

“It happened. I remember reading about it, I think it was called ‘To kill a mockingbird’ or something,”

“Oh, I guess you’re right. If it’s in a book, it has to be one hundred percent factual… we’re getting distracted. Let’s work on this song, G-Way,” Harry tore out a sheet of paper. Gerard watched Harry write down one sentence, “now you add on to it, speak from the heart, soon we’ll have a full song!” 

Gerard began to write.

Harry: The world was never at peace, before you came into my life

Gerard: You brought me back when I was lost, you ended all my strife

“Huh, that’s not bad,” Gerard read it over again. “let’s continue this… maybe we’ll have a show ready song when we finish,” 

I can’t believe your beauty, I can’t believe your heart

Your veins, your smile, the list can’t even start

I love the way you laugh with ease

The sky, your eyes, the birds, the breeze

Your smile cracks the darkness within

Your beautiful face versus my ugly grin…

Someday I won’t know where to go

And you’ll be there, I know, I know

Hey yeah hey yeah

I know I know I know

Something about our spontaneous dances

Makes me wonder, what were the chances?

What brought you to me may drive us apart

I’m just glad it had the chance to start

Your smile cracks the darkness within

Your beautiful face versus my ugly grin…

Someday I won’t know where to go

And you’ll be there, I know, I know

Hey yeah hey yeah

I know I know I know

We fought last night, the cracks are beginning to show

When I ask if you’re okay, you tell me no

What am I supposed to do… I don’t know where to go

Please, please, please, stop telling me no

Your smile cracks the darkness within

Your beautiful face versus my ugly grin…

Someday I won’t know where to go

And you’ll be there, I know, I know

Hey yeah hey yeah

I know I know I know

When I needed you most is when you turned to a ghost

I reach out but you always run away

Maybe… maybe someday

Your smile cracks the darkness within

Your beautiful face versus my ugly grin…

Someday I won’t know where to go

And you’ll be there, I know, I know

Hey yeah hey yeah

I know I know I know

Gerard stared at the song in front of him. It had been so easy, the flowing of words as the harsh songwriting of MCR combined with the tenderness of One Direction’s music- it made something that even Gerard could consider beautiful. He might even consider it art. He looked up at Harry, eyes wide.

“I don’t think we can perform this,” 

Harry looked back at him, his own eyes speckled with gold and shining with the sunlight that streamed in through the stained glass windows. 

“We can’t,” Harry agreed, “it’s too…”

“Real?” Gerard suggested, “the judges want something fabricated, something made by robots and not humans. Someday they’ll replace us, someday… the art we made will be truly appreciated, but we have to keep it hidden away for now,” 

“It just hits you right in the heart. Nobody wants to hear that at a, a cool battle of the bands with lights and costumes, and a bunch of awesome bands. Those 12 year olds might even be impressed,” 

The two silently admired their work. Gerard looked out the window, he could tell the time exactly from the suns position, 

“We have four more hours, do you think we can write something more hard hitting? More stage ready?”

Harry looked confident.

“We got this,” his British accent shone through as they picked up pencils and began to write, the power of the lord coursing through their veins. Was it truly the lord, or was it something else. The sensitivity that two band members had never mentioned, but came through in their writing. That they couldn’t deny. Gerard hadn’t felt emotions like this since he was thirteen years old, on the cusp of manhood, on the way to school one fateful autumn day. 

The Last True Heart of Athens

By: Harry Styles and Gerard Way

Deep heart, deep veins.

Wonder if the blood leaves stains

Something light, something new

Something different between me and you

When Zeus came down and terror reigned 

You held my hand through all the pain

If nothing ever lasts, if this moment was just in passing

This was the last true heart of athens

If Persephone could love the god of hell

Does that mean you can love this ruined world as well? 

Does my hand in yours comfort or strike fear

And is the end truly drawing near? 

When Zeus came down and terror reigned 

You held my hand through all the pain

If nothing ever lasts, if this moment was just in passing

This was the last true heart of athens

Apollo shone brightly, blinding my eyes

As Icarus fell, I saw through your lies

My feathers are burnt and yours have drowned

So together, we’ll walk, into the underground 

Athena never worried about if she’d win the war

I never worry about it either anymore

Our souls intertwined

Heart, soul, body, and mind

And baby you’ll always be mine

yeah~yeahh~ ooh ooh yeahh~~~~

When Zeus came down and terror reigned 

You held my hand through all the pain

If nothing ever lasts, if this moment was just in passing

This was the last true heart of athens

“It’s perfect,” Harry said, running his fingers through his chestnut colored hair. "it's about…a relationship." 

"All parts of the relationship," Gerard added, "the ups, the downs, the all arounds, and the religious symbolism is subtle," 

“I don’t think anyone who wasn’t told would be able to tell that we got our inspiration from greek mythology,” Harry replied in agreement, "This definitely feels stage ready. Ooh- maybe our costumes could be greek god inspired. But subtle, you know?" 

Gerard shook his head, "I don't like costumes for my performances, I prefer to wear my band tee shirts, ripped jeans, and converse," Harry sighed.

"What if you wore your tee-shirt and jeans and I wore a greek god costume, like a compromise! And it would be subtle enough no one would be able to tell we had different outfits on.” Harry said.

“Yes,” Gerard replied, “I fully understand what you’re saying and there is nothing confusing about it.”

+++

(Gerards Phone)

6:39 PM

Gerard: hey babe

Stephanie: heyyyyyyyy love of my life ♥️

Gerard: hows my hometown washington state?

Stephanie: It’s going so good, our dog Jake is so cute and he also misses you so much 

Gerard: i miss him too. this battle of the bands thing is so insane. the organizer, stephan, died yesterday and we're already back on schedule. 

Stephanie: oh no! :( i’ll be up to visit you soon, right? 

Gerard: of course! i'm so excited for you to see me and mcr CRUSH this battle of the bands thing 

Stephanie: have you made any new friends? i know thats difficult for you sometimes 

Gerard: surprisingly yeah. the one direction guys are pretty nice, especially this guy harry, but he's a little uh..

Gerard: annoying

Gerard: lol

Stephanie: lmao

Stephanie: you HAVE to tell me all about it when we skype tomorrow

Gerard: ofc
Gerard: oh.. also, has the battle of the bands bracket been released to the public yet? 

Stephanie: yeah it just got released yesterday! 

Stephanie: have you met ferg and sons? i love them they're my fav band

Stephanie: besides mcr of course ;)

Gerard: ferg brought pizza for all the groups during the intro conference. he seems pretty cool. we haven't really gotten to interact with the other bands yet though, besides the one we're collaborating with

Stephanie: well you have to introduce me to everyone when i get there

Gerard: ofc babe. there's supposed to be this great public pool not far from the warehouse and stage where it's being held

Gerard: maybe us, the rest of mcr can go… and one direction if they want lol
Gerard: speaking of pools, do you remember that time we got in that huge fight in a public pool

Stephanie: that was when we first met right?

Stephanie: of course i remember! i’m so glad we dont get into fights like that any more

Stephanie: ive worked A LOT on my communication skills since them lol

Stephanie: and you have too, i can tell sometimes you want to yell but you stop yourself, i love that

Gerard: ur the best

Gerard: when you get up here we're gonna have the best time, I'm sure of it

Gerard: there's this great museum with all these pigeons. its so wacky, you'll adore it

Stephanie: OMG i absolutely love pigeons! i can’t believe you remembered that! i’m so excited to see it

Gerard: oh, violet's calling me. apparently we have to get our song approved :// its a whole annoying process

Gerard: you remember violet, right? we went to junior high. i think she ran the yearbook committee or something

Stephanie: yeah, violet! she was nice

Stephanie: well i’ll talk to you soon, i love you, bye!!!

Gerard: bye!!

Chapter Text

“Wow,” Violet said as she read over the newest song, “I’m inspired. I didn't think you two had it in you!” 

Gerard looked at Harry, who smiled back at him. 

“Me and Sabrina decided that you two, and all the band members, deserve a break. There’s a public pool near here,” she checked her phone. “it’s only an hour and a half away, and it’s sponsored by the Roman Catholic Church,” 

“Like from the great schism?” Harry asked. 

“Yeah, the pope blessed the pool so now it’s all holy water,” Violet held up a burry photo, “isn’t that water beautiful?” 

“Should we go grab our stuff?” Gerard asked. 

Violet nodded, “We’re taking a van. You have ten minutes, meet us outside the front of the warehouse. I already told Stephanie where to meet us because I knew you two wanted to hang out today,” 

Violet’s so thoughtful Gerard thought. 

+++

Gerard sat down in the van next to Harry. He was wearing his wolf shirt and black swim shorts with rubber chains on them. Harry had orange shorts and a blue tank top that showed off his surprisingly muscular arms. Harry smiled, showing off his blinding teeth. The rest of the bands entered the van, smiling and laughing. 

“It’s a beach day, innit!” Harry said with his British accent. Zayne high fived him as he sat down. Mikey leaned over his seat to talk to Gerard.

“Speaking is so weird… usually I get by with ASL or miming,” he shook his head, “I’m so excited to get back to my vow of silence, but speaking does have its benefits. I finally get to use the alexa I set up in the tour bus,” 

He sat back down. After everyone had buckled their seatbelts, and Violet had done a quick safety demonstration, Ferg began driving the van. He had brought along his twenty six year old son Fork. The rest of Ferg and Sons were going to a Pigeon Taxidermy Workshop. The two had decided to tag along to honor their Roman Catholic roots.

The car drove down strange roads and through wheat fields. One Direction and MCR music was on shuffle play. Gerard was working on his screenplay, ‘Someday Soon’ which was a musical about the fall of capitalism, when he realized that Harry had fallen asleep on his shoulder. The van went over a bump in the road and Harry shot up. 

“Aah!” Harry said, rubbing his head, “oh, sorry there G-man, didn’t mean to encroach on your personal space bubble!” Gerard shrugged, going back to his writing. But for some strange reason, his heart was beating faster. He hoped he wasn’t having a stroke. He had a bad family history of heart attacks and other heart issues. 

“Are you gay- sorry- why did I say that-” Gerard stuttered. Harry blushed. 

"I don’t know…” Harry replied

"How could you not know, you're twenty five! People know everything at twenty five," Gerard said, "I knew I was straight when I was twenty four, now I'm twenty five and I know everything," 

All of a sudden, the van screeched to a halt and everyone jolted forward. The van was stuck in the side of a hill, and everything started to smell like fire. 

"EVERYONE OUT!" Ferg yelled, Harry and Gerard quickly exited the car. The two bands, Ferg and his son, and their managers stood outside in the Oklahoma sun. Then the car burst into flames in front of them. Ferg looked disappointed. 

"That prayer I said was for nothing," he sighed, "welp, did someone at least remember to grab the map?" 

Nobody responded. 

"It sucks we don't have google maps or something," Zayne said. "like, an app on your phone that could tell you where to go. That would be really helpful right now," he had a solemn expression on his face.

"I'm going to text Stephanie and tell her we can't make it," Violet began.

"No! We'll hitchhike," Gerard responded before she could sent the text, "I don't want her going out there for nothing. Hitchhiking is perfectly safe, I've done it before," he was lying. Gerard had never hitchhiked. The group made there way to the side of the road and made the hitchhiking symbol with their hands.

Not long after an unmarked van pulled up beside them. A man leaned out the window, he had red stains on his face and an evil looking smile. 

"You gang need a ride?" he asked. Violet looked unsure, but Harry nodded. 

"We would love a ride, mate! Do you know the public pool near here thats sponsored by the roman catholic church?" he took out his phone and held up a photo of blurry looking water, "it looks like this," 

"I think I know where that is, but I have to make a detour through the forest. I have some… business I need to attend to," the man held up a clipboard. 

"Well that can't be good," Violet shook her head.

"You're being so pessimistic," Sabrina patted her on the shoulder, "I'm sure that we'll be perfectly safe and nothing will happen to us in the back of this guy's sketchy looking van," Violet didn't protest any further as the piled into the back of the van. Tied to the ceiling were a bunch of garbage bags, and coolers that when Niall opened, were full of ice. There was a shelf full of duct tape, and some gallons of bleach under it.

“Woah,” Harry said, “Why are there bin bags tied to the roof of the van?”

"He's probably a garbage man," Ray replied, "or maybe a priest. They use the duct tape to repair their bibles,"

"But there's like… thirty rolls of duct tape," Harry said, "do they break there bibles that much? And what's the bleach for?"

"Making the bibles whiter, of course. That paper gets pretty yellowed over time. And he’s probably bringing that much duct tape for all the other priests, they love having priest parties I’ve heard.”

Mikey then noticed that one of the pieces of floor was coming up. He carefully pried it open, to see a beating heart. Possibly from a lamb, or a human. Lamb, most likely. He shrugged and pushed the floorboard back down. It was probably dinner for later or going to be used in a priest ritual. Priests were weird, he'd never met one in real life until now. 

Frank looked back at the window of the van behind him. A raven flew up and hit the glass. It fell for a moment, but he could see it flying away a moment later. It was probably saved by the priest's heavenly powers of savior. Louis then pulled out a bible, it was lying on top of the duct tape shelf. 

"I knew it!" Ray said, "that guy’s definitely a priest. Nothing to be worried about here!" Louis opened the bible, to see a small box with a lock. It was a safe.

"There's probably another bible inside of there. You don't want anyone stealing your bibles,"

“Wow the second bible must be really old, it smells awful, like rotting flesh.” Louis said, pinching his nose. Pretty soon the van stopped outside of giant cathedral with a sign hanging from the front. Public Pool: Mass at 3, 6, and 8 PM. 

"I have a mass to run in a bit," the driver said, "thanks for not jumping to conclusions, I'm an actual priest, my name is Paul. Have a nice time at the pool," 

“Thanks Paul! We will!” Sabrina said, turning away from the van. As it drove away, a bit of blood dripped out from the back. All the band members, managers, and also Ferg and his son walked into the check in area.

Gerard was looking around, when his eyes landed on his girlfriend. She waved as Gerard ran up, giving her a hug.

"This place is awesome," Stephanie said, "they even have a gift shop! But it was full of bibles…" 

Gerard smiled and grabbed her hand. After Violet and Sabrina had logged their groups in and added a few coins to the collection box. They had all already changed into their suits, so they went out the door to the pool. The sky was blue and the water looked beautiful. A few umbrellas had been set up, Ferg went to sit down on one of the beach chairs with a copy of The Odyssey and a can of sprite, (he didn't drink alcohol).
Violet and Sabrina seemed to be calmer, enjoying the weather and playing american football.

Gerard jumped up, hitting the volleyball over the net. Stephanie hit it back, Ray diving to catch it but falling over. They laughed. Harry glared from where he was sitting. His eyes look red from the light. Stephanie waved to him.

“Harry!” she yelled, “come play with us!”

Harry scowled.

“No!” he yelled back, “I need to finish my game of mind chess against my younger self.” he looked up at the sky, "damm. He just took my pawn," A barely visible tear fell from his eye. “I miss him…” Harry had been playing mindchess for years, it was to remind himself of his mortality. And yet it never worked. His head kept messing up the rules, taking away pieces and moving rooks like knights. The game never ended. It just kept moving, forever. He never reached the end. His life, eternal.

Stephanie looked back at the rest of the volleyball players.

“He’s really weird, did you guys pick up on that at all?”

Gerard looked at Ray and shook his head.

“No, that’s how he always is.”

"Maybe he should go see a physiatrist," Stephanie suggested, then paused, "but I guess it's none of my business," The group went back to their volleyball game, playing until they were exhausted and hungry. Sabrina took out her portable stove top and began to cook for the group.  

Stephanie got her burger and sat down next to a tall man with red hair. 

“Hi!” she said, “I’m Stephanie, Gerard’s girlfriend, you must be part of One Direction?”

He chuckled a bit, then replied.

“No, no, My name is Fork. I’m in Ferg and Sons. It’s nice to meet you!”

Stephanie smiled.

"I love Ferg and Sons, I should've recognized! The charity work you guys do is really awesome, I've been asking Gerard if MCR can do something like that,"

"What songs do you like?" Fork asked, "maybe I can play one for you- I think I brought my flute or something," 

"How about you play ‘Twenty Dollar Lobotomy’, it’s always been a favorite of mine,"

She watched as Fork began to play the first notes of the song, she sang along, she'd been listening to Ferg and Sons since their first album, it had always cheered her up during difficult times in her life. Fork looked over at her and smiled at her singing, making him stumble a bit on his flute playing.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I haven’t played that one in a while.”

Stephanie looked down. 

“You were amazing”

Gerard looked over at Harry, who was laughing with Louis, and eating the burger that Sabrina had cooked. His soul darkened. He then looked over at Stephanie and Fork, and walked up to her.

"Stephanie, can I talk to you?" Gerard said, "somewhere.. private?" 

"Oh- uh, sure," Stephanie replied, waving to Fork. They walked out to the shower rooms, and layed down a towel so they could sit on one of the benches.

"What's up Gerard?" Stephanie asked, "did something happen babe?" 

"Stephanie… I think we should see other people," 

Her face fell.

“What? Why? Did I do something? I promise I won’t do it anymore! I can change, you just have to tell me what I did!”

"It's not you… It's me," Gerard replied, "I'm sorry Stephanie, this relationship is over," 

He then stood up and walked away, leaving her crying to be drowned out by the sounds of the showerheads turning on.

Chapter Text

The venue was larger than they could’ve ever imagined. It was as big as a football stadium, the seats that surrounded the stage rose high into the heavens. The golden tiger high school football field was equipped with sound and lighting. The faux grass was their stage, and the painted lines connected their drumming to the drums of the earth. The high school marching band had come to perform a tribute to Steven, (the national Italian anthem and “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga) before the event began. 

Everyone was dressed in Greek God inspired outfits with long flowing robes and golden wreathes around their head, besides Gerard, who was wearing ripped jeans and a black Nirvana shirt. Harry walked up to Gerard. 

“Are you ready, mate?” Harry asked, “our new guitars are so cool!” Gerard had a golden bass guitar, and Harry had a golden acoustic guitar that was bedazzled with a heart. 

“I’m as ready as Hades was when he kidnapped Persephone,” he winked, but Harry couldn’t see it because of Gerards emo hair. 

Nobody talked for about ten seconds. 

“Okay…” Harry said, “I’m gonna go make sure that Louis, Liam, and Frank aren’t making out in the school,” Harry left the caravans that were parked in the school parking lot. They would be performing on the field, which was right in front of the high school. 

Harry walked through the school hallways, checking in the social studies classrooms, finally finding them in a janitors closet.

“Uh…” Harry said. The three were gathering cleaning supplies, each holding a gallon of bleach.

“We want to become priests,” Frank said, “so we’re borrowing some bleach,” 

“You can’t just steal bleach!” Harry exclaimed. “have you guys even read the ten commandments, thou shall not steal, that’s like god's number one rule,” 

“Well…” Louis sighed. “I guess we’ll put them back. Sinning is like breaking the youtube terms of service,”

“Oh… that makes sense,” Liam responded, “I didn’t really get the whole sin thing. When you put it like that- I guess we should buy our own bleach. I don’t want to be banned by Salar Kamanger- who’s God in this analogy,” they put the bleach back in the closet, and went outside where they were given one last pep talk by Violet and Sabrina. 

“You guys have been working hard these last two and a half weeks,” Sabrina began. 

“And we’re so impressed- ish,” Violet continued, “we think you’re going to win,”

“But at this point, it’s up to you. You doing the best performance you can,” Sabrina smiled. 

“Life is short, but the timeline of this battle of the bands performance is shorter,”

“So every moment counts,” 

Then Violet and Sabrina spoke in unison.

“You got this!!” 

MCR and One Direction clapped. They all looked at eachother, smiling. They were about to knock everyone’s socks off.

The first band(s) to perform were Kerosene Milton and Mr. Sister Twister, up against The Mistletones and Ferg and Sons. Kerosene Milton and Mr. Sister Twister walked onto the stage in full bedazzled denim outfits. They began to perform a pop country anthem called, ‘Girls Rise Up,’. Beautiful notes of acoustic guitar, synthesizer, and banjo filled the air. Harry wiped a tear from his eye, he could tell this was about to be a feminist anthem of the ages. 

Woo- Woo- Woo, ooh- ooh

Those gosh darn boys tryin’ to take our jobs

We’re the country girls eatin’ corn on the cobs

I’ll punch their face like I punch capatalism 

I’ll tear their churches apart, I’m the next schism

Sun on our faces as we ride on our horses

We’ll never marry since fifty percent of them end in divorces

Empower women, freedom for all

Look at us, the patriarchy will fall

*banjo solo* 

As the song continued the nerves in Gerard began to take hold, these bands are so good, and what were they? The talent that these twelve year old girls had was unmatched, and paired with the country elements were some of the most powerful music he’d ever heard. As the song ended, he felt a hand on his back.

“It’s okay G- man,” Harry said, “we got this, mate,” Gerard looked Harry in the eyes, and for some reason, he believed him. Harry’s eyes were sparkling, like champagne. Harry’s lips were red like a blood moon, skin pale like drywall. 

The lights flickered, as if telling Gerard, you’re not alone. It was like God was telling him, I love him as well. He frowned up at the sky. Harry looked confused.

“What are you looking at?” he asked, confused.

Gerard looked back at Harry.

“Oh, nothing,” he said “just God. He- He wants something I also want. I may have to fight God— within the week.”

“That makes sense,” Harry responded, understanding perfectly. His hair was streaked with golden, the glitter from his greek god costume reminded Gerard of stars, the night sky, the things that understood him the most. Ursa Major. The Orion Belt. The Big Dipper. The Little Dipper. Saturn. Pluto. Arkansas. 

Harry was like Saturn, rings of golden and kindness radiating off him. Gerard was Pluto, distant, cold, a planet. However, every so often it would grow a little closer to Saturn, Harry, his light. His rings. His one true mind chess opponent. But he knew that Harry did not feel the same. Harry could never focus on just one mind chess opponent. His mind wandered, stretched, it scattered in the night sky like a flurry of stars. But Gerard was only an astronomer, admiring from afar, studying the way his hair moved, his eyes sparked. He wanted to know everything about Harry. He stared like one day he would go blind. He memorized. 

Around 10 minutes had passed, Ferg and Sons and the Mistletones had performed, and then Maple Stirrup and Jealousy Hawk were just leaving the stage.  

“Anyway,” Gerard said, shaking his head, “is it our turn to go up yet?” 

“I THINK SO!” Liam yelled, he held up his microphone, “come on you…” he looked between Gerard and Harry, seeing God’s strong muscular hand on Harry’s shoulder, “friends,” 

The two stood up, making their way over to the group. God smiled, reaching his arm out as Harry walked away. Liam shook his head.

“Now bazinga! That’s weird,” Liam shrugged. A stagehand waved them over, they had curly brown hair a little bit above shoulder length, eyes that shifted colors between blue and green, was wearing a lime green hollister sweatshirt, blue sony headphones with stickers on them, a patchwork skirt, orange leggings, beaded bracelets, and white and yellow shoes. Their name tag said ‘Parrot’ however Gerard could tell that it wasn’t their true name, but their actual name was something only God knew. And He did. He smiled at the stagehand, with a thumbs up, Parrot didn’t see him because they weren’t a Christian. 

Harry looked at Gerard, his haunting eyes that he could barely see behind his night black hair. Harry smiled. The two walked up onto the stage, followed by the rest of the group. Violet and Sabrina gave them a thumbs up from the side. 

The stage was decorated with cardboard cutouts of clouds (olympus) and black boxes for standing on, covered in golden glitter. Ray and Niall both had drumsets. Frank had a silver electric guitar with a lightning bolt painted on it. The rest of the group, including Harry, had acoustic guitars in gold, silver, and bronze colors. Gerard strummed his bass guitar. He smiled at the audience. 

It was the other bands, the band managers, and four highschoolers. He thought for a second he could see Steven, smiling ag him from the audience, but that couldn't be real, since Steven was dead. There was also a man that Gerard didn't recognize, though that could be because of the white veil covering the man's face. 

A judge walked out in front of the band. He spoke into the hot pink microphone. He pressed the echo button. 

“Now we have-e-e- My Chemical Romance and One Direction, performing an original song! Let’s give it up for My Chemical Direction!!!” the crowd applauded, a stagehand pressed the background track button. A slow piano beat echoed across the stage, Gerard strummed the first notes and sparks seemed to fly from his guitar. Harry looked over, as he began to sing. The words soared like butterflies, as Gerard joined in. Niall and Ray began to drum, the steady beats keeping the singing in tune. The written song had been one thing, but now it was like the essence of god was connected to their vocal chords, the instrumental being the seranade of the nine muses. Like a siren, drawing in the next victims of true love.

Every note that the two sang was full of emotion and depth. Stephanie watched from the sidelines. 

“What the hell is going on,” she turned her head from the side, as golden confetti swayed in the wind. Fork comforted her as she watched her ex-boyfriend sing. As she watched the performance that she wouldn’t get to celebrate. Fork looked at her. 

“We have a plan, we were only going to institute it if these bands were any good, you can join in if you want,” Fork offered, “it’s pretty messed up what he- Gerard- did to you,” 

Stephanie shrugged, “I’m not sure about ‘good’ but I want revenge. Let’s do it,” As the song ended, applause rang through the high school football field. It felt as if there were much more people in the audience (around four, if you exclude anyone directly related with the competition) then there really were. 

Gerard took a breath, there was sweat on his nose but he was smiling, bright. He looked out into the audience, then back at Harry. Harry grinned, giving a thumbs up. Harry’s hair was speckled with glitter. The rest of One Direction and My Chemical Romance gave each other high fives, as Frank, Louis, and Liam embraced. They walked off the stage as the background music faded, as Harry and Gerard glanced back at their instruments. All of a sudden, Ferg, Fork, and Stephanie jumped onto the stage. Gerard stared, wide eyed. Harry looked so, so confused.

Ferg grabbed the microphone from Parrot, the stagehand, who froze in place. Fork nudged him, pointing to a camera. Ferg moved so he could be in frame better. He dug a sheet of paper out of his pocket and held it up. Gerard listened to the whispers and murmurs throughout the audience. 

“You guys thougut My Chemical Direction was good, huh?” Ferg snorted, “well I’m still wondering if they’re good after reading this…”

Harry watched in shock as Ferg began to read out his song. The first one. 

And there she was, the most beautiful girl of all.

The government has messed up, time and time again, they shall fall

Her face looked powerful enough to be a politician

Which was terrible, and I hated it, she was ugly

Her eyes sparkled, despite her flawed features and governmental prowess

I love you like I love the second amendment

But I hate you like I hate organized government

You're still the most beautiful gal to me

~yeah yeah yeah~

Marry me 

Baby, marry me

He gasped and tried to run up to Ferg, smack the paper out of his hands. But before he could do anything he felt Fork grab onto him, holding him back. When he turned his head he saw Gerard next to him, also restrained.

As Ferg finished the song, two people in the audience gasped. The new event organizer walked on to the stage and took the microphone from Ferg. 

“Okay, y’all calm down,” he said, he pointed at Fork and Stephanie, “release the hostages this instant,” the two did as they were told. Harry and Gerard gasped for breath.

He looked at Harry and Gerard, “now that I have this new information I have to disqualify you two from the event,” 

“Mwah ha ha,” Ferg laughed manically. 

Gerard looked panicked. Harry gasped again, suddenly Gerard realized something. Something that he’d forgotten. Harry took a step forward. 

Harry stared down the event organizer, Jorje Patricia. Gerard looked deep into Harry’s eyes. He moved a strand of hair away from Harry’s face. Gerard felt butterflies in his stomach, and something came over him. He leaned forward and closed his eyes, hoping in his heart that Harry wouldn't hate him after this. The kiss didn’t last very long, just enough for people to notice. As Gerard pulled away he looked down, not wanting to see Harry’s reaction. Then he looked back at Jorje Patricia.

“See, we’re gay. You can’t fire us after this. It would be illegal,” Gerard then turned around, and walked off the stage.

Chapter Text

3 years and four months ago

Liam knocked on the door of Frank’s hotel room.

“Where did you come from,” Frank asked as Liam timidly stepped into the room. It was Franks room for the Denver, Colarado Music-Con. Frank and Liam vaugely knew eachother, from being in the indie band zone. 

“I couldn’t sleep,” Liam admitted, “you seemed nice enough. I was wondering if you would let me stay here for the night,” Liam looked worried. “I can sleep on the floor- I brought a sleeping bag… it’s just, Louis is out at a rave and I can’t sleep alone in that spooky hotel room,” 

Frank gave an amused smile.

“Sure, bro, uh, I mean they,” Frank corrected before continuing, “you might want to move my taxidermed zebra,” Liam looked over and sure enough, saw the taxidermier zebra. Its head was pointing so it was looking directly at Franks pillow. It was wearing a fedora and had its toes painted neon blue. 

“His name is Patty, I named him that because I don’t give a frick about gender norms,” Frank smiled. 

“Cool…” Liam said hopefully. “I’m hopeful,” 

“What about?” 

“Life,” Liam responded. Then he put down his sleeping bag on the floor. Frank went to sleep in the kings sized bed. Liam felt butterflies in his stomach. When he looked around him he saw why, Frank had an entire butterfly conservatory in his hotel room. That was odd, but not unthinkable. 

All of a sudden, a hooded stranger dropped from the ceiling. Drywall crashed to the floor.

“I couldn’t sleep,” The figure said, taking off his hood. It was Louis! Then Liam realized he was also holding a sleeping bag. 

“Hi…” Frank waved. Louis waved back. 

“Your butterflies are escaping,” Louis pointed at the hole in the ceiling. 

“Wow that girl who booked our hotel is such a bitch, the ceiling doesn't even work right.” Frank shook his head, “I hope my butterfly insurance covers this,” Louis then looked at the bed, then at the zebra, and then at Liam.

“There’s no room on the floor, can I sleep on the bed?”

“Yup! I have no problem with you sleeping on the bed,” he said, looking directly at Liam.

“Can I sleep on the bed… the floor is covered in drywall and there’s dead butterflies in my sleeping bag,” Louis said. 

“No,” Frank gave a thumbs up. Then, the three went to sleep. 

The next morning Louis woke up to see that he had been dragged onto the couch. He then watched as Frank and Liam entered the room with breakfast platters. They both had stacks of pancakes, bacon, and eggs. Frank threw Louis a yogurt cup and a plastic spoon. Louis caught it. 

“Thanks bros,” Louis gave a thumbs up. 

Frank nodded and then sat down at the pull out desk table, he pulled up another seat.

“Oh thank you!” Louis said.

“No this is for Liam,” Frank said, “you can sit on the floor next to us if you want though. Not for kink reasons, just because I don’t like you,” Louis glared, jumped up and ran to sit in the chair, accidentally smashing his face against Liam, who had just begun to sit down. Liam gasped, he had just kissed Louis???!!!! Louis backed away, his face was covered in blood.

“I think I broke my nose,” Louis groaned, “ow,” 

“Wait- are you two, ya know, smashing now?” Frank paused.

“Huh? What does that mean?” Louis asked, he had a hand on his face, blood was still pouring out his nose.

“You know, like, dating. It’s slang!” Frank answered, making no move to help with Louis’ broken nose.

“I mean, when you kiss someone you have to date!” Liam smiled, “and I’m already dating Frank… I guess we all have to date now,” 

Louis looked at Liam, then at Frank.

“Can we go to the emergency room now?” 

“Yeah! It’s like our first date,” Frank stood up, “lemme get changed first. Maybe something tasteful?”

“Like your tux!” Liam suggested, “omg, Louis, what are you gonna wear?” Louis shrugged.

“I think you two are beautiful as you are, let’s just go,” Louis said, “I’m losing so much blood. Like Jesus from the bible,” 

Outside the window he saw a man waving to him. This was Louis’ first encounter with lord Jesus Christ, but it would not be his last. He would be visited in his sleep and told prophecies, however he would not remember them when he awoke.

Then, Louis fell to the ground and fainted. Jesus had done nothing to save him, as was the way. Frank grabbed Louis’s golf clubs that he had brought for the night as they left the hotel. 

Louis woke up in a hospital bed. 

“Sup babe,” Frank smiled, “you never told us it was that bad!” Liam walked in, he was holding three virgin pina coladas. 

“He’s awake!” Liam handed one pina colada to Frank and the other to Louis, “I went to the tiki bar in the basement, I’m a recovering alcoholic so I can’t have alcohol, and the virgin one is better anyway”

Louis sat up, drinking the pina colada through a straw. There was a small gap for his mouth and his eyes, bandages covered the rest of his face. 

“This tastes like…” he looked at Frank, then at Liam, “home… we need the recipe!”

“The reason it tastes so good is because I spiked it with melatoinin,” Liam said, “I spiked ours as well, we’ll be out cold in twenty minutes!”

The Frank, Louis, and Liam Polycule Virgin Pina Colada

(makes 1-2 cups)

1 tablespoon lime juice

1 cup pineapple juice

Half a lemon, lemon zest

Half a lemon juice

1 cup coconut milk

Half cup pineapple pieces

3 Ice cubes per serving

1 can cream soda

optional: melatonin

Step 1: Zest half a lemon. Squeeze the juice of half a lemon into a bowl. Set aside. Cut up pineapple pieces into small pieces. Set aside.

Step 2: Pour coconut milk, pineapple juice, and lime juice into a bowl. Add lemon juice and zest. Stir until combined. (add melatonin if using in this step. If necessary, dissolve melatonin pills in warm water)

Step 3: Pour mixture into serving cup (halfway). Add ice cubes and pineapple pieces. Pour cream soda over top and stir. Serve and enjoy! 

Make it your own:

-Add pepto bismol instead of melatonin

-Switch out your lemon juice and zest for lime juice and zest, if you love lime!

-Add three shots of espresso instead of cream soda for a fun kick

-Add alcohol of your choice (whiskey, beer, vodka, tequila, orange juice, tears of your arch nemesis, etc.) to make your pina colada sexually active 

-Switch out Ice for milk ice cubes (calcium boost)

-Add a spoonful of orange juice

-Switch out cream soda for sprite

The three all met up in sleep. 

Dream Commences: 

“Wow,” dream Frank said, “we’re in a dream! We can do anything!”

All of them wanted to do the same thing, bake hospital cookies. 

Polycule official single serving Hospital Cookies

(makes 1-2 cookies)

1 ½ cups flour

1 egg

¼ - ⅓ cup sugar 

Pinch of baking powder

Pinch of baking soda 

1 half lemon juice 

1 half lemon zest

¼ cup cocoa powder

Tablespoon of sprinkles

For Topping:

½ cup yogurt

1 spoon honey

1 teaspoon cinnamon 

Optional: Bleach/Tide Pods

Step 0: Preheat oven to 369

Step 1: Combine dry ingredients (including lemon zest and sprinkles) set aside

Step 2: Combine wet ingredients (if adding bleach or tide pods, dissolve and add here)

Step 3: Combine mixtures slowly until a dough like mixture forms

Step 4: Place on baking sheet and put in preheated oven for 15-30 minutes, or until well cooked. 

Step 5: Combine yogurt, honey, and cinnamon. Apply generously to hospital cookies. Serve with a virgin pina colada and enjoy!

“😉” said Liam, “😉😘”

“😁🤘🦾” Frank replied.

“🫂👄🫵,” Louis responded, “🫵🫵🫵,” 

“👀😘,” Liam quivered, “🥩🚐👰‍♂️,” 

“💉💉💉💉💉!” Frank shouted.

Then they all woke up. At the same time. Louis felt much better, a nurse came in and told him that he could leave in a few hours after they ran the mandatory drug tests. Frank and Liam had to take the drug tests as well. 

“I mean, drug safety is great and all that, but why do we have to take one?” Frank sighed. The nurse smiled.

“It’s part of our new initiative. You know the D.A.R.E. program? We started D.A.R.E. 2, Drug Anti’s Recovery Echelon, and the 2 stands for 2nd chance at sobriety. It’s for the people that the first D.A.R.E. didn’t work on,” the Nurse held up her clipboard, “Liam, you’re first. You have to get in the racecar parked out front and drive in a loop. If you do it badly, we’ll send you to prison for drug use,” 

“Fuck,” Liam said, “sorry, I meant f*ck,” Louis looked in shock.

“How could you say that… this is a pg13 rated fanfic, the pg13 is for the word bitch!” 

“You can say f*ck once in something that’s pg13, we’ve used it up now,” 

“Oh fuck-” the nurse began, before a black hole swallowed her up. They heard a scream echo through the hospital.  This is what happens when you break the laws of the MPAA. She will never be seen again, as is the way of The Writers. And yet we continue.

“Anyway,” Louis said, “we don’t have to do that drug test… so I guess we can go?” 

Frank nodded, “I’ll grab your golf clubs. I had them stored with the coat check, you should change. I brought your gold sequin tux, and matching top hat. I’ll leave the room while you change,”

“I’ll go hide in the closet while you change,” 

“We support you,” Frank put a hand on Liam’s shoulder, “come on, we can get the golf clubs together. You never have to be in the closet, you’re beautiful,” Liam’s eyes lit up. He smiled. Louis looked at both of them, his heart grew warm. 

“Guys… I have something to tell you,” Louis stood up, “I’m straight,” 

“Does this mean we can’t date you?” Frank asked. 

“I’m straight as well,” Liam said, but he smiled, “Frank aren’t you-”

“I’m bisexual, so it can count for both of you. When we leave, we should go mini golfing. An official first date… babes,” 

The next three years went on as a fish swims through a stream of milk, smoothly, but not exactly comfortably. Frank and Louis were complicated, their relationship was like Justinian and Theodora, Frank was like Theodora, a whore (for music), and Louis a farmer, (for truth and bitcoin). They were like a desert storm, trapped, moist, full of sand. Frank loved the desert. He had just read Dune, the book. He thought it was alright, three and a half stars maybe. Liam was like a fire truck, red, wheels, with water to put out the flames of conflict between Frank and Louis, and wheels to heelies on. 

They went on many dates, most of them were kind of boring. Some ended in confessions of love, while others ended with Louis falling down a cliff and the fire department needing to be called. Some of the dates they went on included, swimming, sitting in a parking lot, hugging, going to a strip club and leaving after one minute, making a shared email account, and putting together an extensive family tree of George Bush. 

They argued a lot, but it all ended in cooking hospital cookies and enjoying walks in nature. They kissed passionately once, it was kinda awkward, the three way was a bit squashed, especially cause they were doing it while repairing the wires inside the walls.

Aside from hugging, their affection was limited, but they were in love. True love. That only two straight men and one bisexual man (but it counted for the straight guys) could have. And as the sun set on the british empire, Louis realized that he finally fit in. Sort of. And that should be enough. 

Chapter Text

Gerard and Harry had been in a stand still since their kiss. They hadn’t talked, whenever they were in the same room it felt cold.  Like icicles.

Despite their conflict, life seemed to go on normally around them. The leaves were turning a vibrant shade of red, it was as if blood ran through the Oklahoma streets. Violet and Sabrina were busy trying to stop both bands from completely falling apart. 

“I like halloween,” Harry said, as he paced around Liam’s room, “I get to dress up in a costume.”

Liam nodded. He sometimes thought Harry was a little annoying, but he was his best friend.

“You are my best friend,” Liam said. “but as your best friend, there’s something I have to tell you,” 

Harry stopped walking and looked at Liam. 

“You’re gay,” Liam said, “I know this might he shocking to hear, but as someone who is dating a bisexual and is an aspiring ally, I would know,”

“Um…” Harry stammered as Liam continued.

“You’re clearly gay, look at your eyes. They dilate when you look at the color yellow. My psychiatrist says that that means you’re gay.”

“Woah, that's true! That's how they find out whos gay in the Mandatory Psych Tests that the government do every year for the gifted and talented children.” Harry paused, then continued, “I never took those, I was too busy volunteering in the army. You can do three years instead of taking the tests and risk getting sent to the flesh pits,”

“I was classified as ‘normal’ under the government's rigorous multiple choice tests and got to get a normal job, such as musician or accountant, rather then what the other kids might have gotten, such as flesh nutrients or flesh examiner,” Liam responded. “I’m as normal as they come,”

“Sometimes I wish I’d taken the test, but I’m glad that I didn’t because I’m still around to love my friends and appreciate the little things in life,” 

“Okay,” 

Halloween fell like a domino pushing other dominos because they’re in a row and someone pushed the first one to make the other ones also fall over.

Harry had his costume all planned out, he was going to be a completely original and solo costume, Juliet, from Shakspeare’s indie project, ‘Romeo and Juliet’. There would be no Romeo in this season, the season of fall, that fell like dominos, that were blood red in the streets of Oklahoma. Harry sighed. 

He would’ve loved to do a couples costume but he was all alone. Besides God, but he was dressed as Shoto Todoroki from My Hero Academia, so it didn’t really work as a couples costume. 

Harry stared at himself in the mirror. He had long hair tied up in a messy bun and a simple dress. He heard a voice calling him from downstairs.

“Harry, you need to come down now, I need to tell you something!” Liam called. Harry grabbed his home depot bucket and an extra costume, just in case. 

He walked downstairs. Liam looked at him.

“I’m selling you to one direction,”

Gerard didn’t know how to finish the sentence of the first chapter of his new manuscript, he didn’t even know if this was legal. He had studied law a few years ago but he realized it wasn’t his true passion. He closed his notebook and looked at himself in the mirror. Gerard stared at himself in the mirror. He had long hair tied up in a messy bun and a simple dress. 

This was gender affirming for him. 

Gerard was going trick or treating, and then to a halloween music bash, it was called the ‘Spooky Season Showcase Sponsored by Facebook,’; a new social media website that had just come out that year~~~

He left his tour bus and walked down to where he was meeting the rest of My Chemical Romance. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw, Harry Kraken-Leviathan Styles in a stunning Romeo cosplay. 

Gerard looked away, he couldn’t let Harry know that he was there. And that he was Juliet. 

“Boo,” Harry didn’t say. Gerard was hearing voices, and not just ones of protest. And change, no, one’s of insanity. Something he should probably talk about with a licensed professional. But he was a… how to describe it. A visionary. A poet. Juliet, the great grandson of John F (the f stands for f@gq0t, which Gerard isn’t allowed to say) Kennedy. 

Frank walked up, he was dressed as a powerpoint presentation. He had a cup of beer in his hand. It was craft beer, made from barley and raw determination. 

The clock struck 7:30 PM and Violet and Sabrina walked to the front.

Violet spoke first.

“Me and Sabrina accidentally chose a couple’s costume, so please ignore that. We’re Dan and Phil. Anyway, we’re gonna use the buddy system tonight so none of you get lost. Please stay with your buddy at all times,”

“Now, I’m going to pick your buddies from a bowl,” Sabrina said. Gerard crossed his fingers, anyone but Harry. He’d even tolerate Violet, who was kind of a bitch. 

“First up is Gerard, or, Geruliet,” Sabrina took out a second slip of paper, “and… Harry! Or Harromeo,” 

Gerard sighed deeply, walking over to Harry. He didn’t want to talk to Harry, things had been so tense since their… their kiss. Gerard remembered. Like it was yesterday. Which was weird because it had been a month. The bands had been arguing and debating whether the two teams should get to stay, so it had been a while.

Harry looked as British as ever, golden brown hair, bronze eyes, the same smile as the Queen of England (A/N rip queen). His romeo costume included a Union J tie and a London Tower hat. He shone like the rays of hospital lights, like a facebook influencer. Like… the sun. 

“You’re like the sun, no homo,” Gerard blurted out. Harry gasped. Almost. He caught himself and instead nodded, maturely.

“Well… you’re like, mysterious. And edgy. And, a shadow. With a light side. Um… no homo. Btw,” Harry said britishly. 

Gerard looked away.

“Harry, I’m done talking to you,” he said

“What did I do? You haven’t spoken to me in a month, did I offend you or something?” Harry responded, slowly.

“I kissed you!” Gerard shouted. “non consensually! Are you not mad?” 

“A little, but (a/n: content warning: slur) I’m not a cunt! I may be british and naturally ginger, but I have some self respect,” Harry glared softly. Gerard nodded.

“Are you ready to go trick or treating?” Harry asked. 

“Sure,” Gerard responded. 

They walked down the oklahoma streets, first stopping at a red house, then a green one, and then Gerard paused in front of the most beautiful house he’d ever seen.

It had red bricks, a blue thatched roof, a green door, and a giant skeleton outside of it. Harry wondered if it was real. He went up to the house and was about to knock when a voice stopped him.

“Hey I’m here, you don't need to knock.”

Harry looked over but couldn't see anyone. A wisp of smoke rose up into the air and it spoke again.

“Snicker or Butterfinger?”

“Snicker,” Harry held his breath.

A piece of candy fell at his feet, a normal snicker in a brown wrapper.

“Uh… thank you God,” Harry responded. “are you ready for our chess battle?” 

“Oui,” a loud voice echoed from the heavens above. 

“Pawn to interstellar void,” Harry said, his voice pure confidence.

“The chimera eats your pawn. King to your heart,” God responded. Harry felt like he had heart failure for a moment. 

“I get heart surgery,” Harry said, “Knight to the operating room!”

“Well, if you’re going to play that way, First Bishop to the gates of heaven. Level up the Bishop with my skill tree, he now can cook a five course meal in ~1 hour.” 

Harry gasped. “I level up my glirp to a triple pawn attacker. Then I eat three of your pawns, using the extra energy to make your bishop start cooking the meal,”

God sighed. “You’ve grown so much, Styles. Your strategies are unmatched. Go, my protege, be with Way,” 

Harry turned around and left. 

Gerard was waiting for him.

“What was that? You just kind of stood there and shouted about pawns?” Gerard asked.

Harry shrugged, looking up into the sky.

“I had to…. end the battle,” 

Gerard smiled. “Okay! Great!” he looked out into the distance, “let’s go trick or treating more,”

As they walked side by side their hands accidentally knocked together.

“Oh, sorry,” Harry said nervously. Gerard just shrugged.

Gerard kept sneaking glances at Harry, his eyes were like sparkling water, moist and bubbly. They walked in silence for a while, the only words they would say to other people. Trick or Treat, Thank you, and the occasional AHHH when they got jumpscared. Finally, as the clock struck ten at night, they decided to make their way back to their respective tour buses. 

A few hours prior Violet and Sabrina had begun carving pumpkins as their bands left. Violet drew on a smily face in black sharpie on her pumpkin, Sabrina leaned over.

“Looks nice! I’m doing a dragon… dragons are actually hard to draw,” she held up her phone, showing a picture of a bright red dragon breathing fire. 

“Yeah,” Violet shook her head, “maybe just do a scary face, a dragon’s a bit ambitious,” Sabrina nodded, clicking off her phone. 

“You’re probably right. I’ve been getting into some fantasy games and stuff… most of the games are expensive though. I have a fun board game though,” 

“I don’t play many board games, too busy,” Violet said. Sabrina hummed, drawing big eyes and a spiky mouth on her pumpkin, picking up her knife. 

“I like solitare though,” Violet continued, looking over at Sabrina. She didn’t notice, Violet went back to her pumpkin. They were on a picnic blanket in the parking lot, a bowl of candy corn to their side, (which had barely been touched, besides from Frank, who was just weird generally). 

The two continued carving their pumpkins in a comfortable silence, it was getting dark when Sabrina suggested they leave their mostly carved pumpkins outside and watch a spooky movie inside the MCR tour bus. Violet begrudgingly agreed, picking up their knives and going inside. Sabrina made some microwave popcorn and they settled in to watch the movie. 

“Is this any good?” Violet asked as the opening credits started rolling. “I don’t watch movies,” She took a piece of popcorn from the bowl. 

“What do you do,” Sabrina joked. Violet did a slight smile.

“I told you, solitare,” 

Sabrina smiled. “It’s okay, it’s about this pumpkin that survives a flood. Plus, there’s a skeleton army somewhere at the end,” 

“I don’t even want to ask,” Violet responded. Sabrina took a piece of popcorn and they continued watching. Violet was worried about One Direction, somehow that group always seemed to get into some sort of trouble, but she felt okay, she supposed. The movie really wasn’t that good, but it was a movie, and they had popcorn. Soon they would hear Gerard entering the tour bus and he DEFINITELY didn’t like or watch movies, and then Violet would have to leave, but for now they were okay. 

Harry was exhausted, being with Gerard made him feel some strange feeling, like love… but he wasn’t ready to accept it. He doubted Gerard even thought about this stuff. He was like a lone wolf, cold and black hair. But he looked almost kind in his Juliet dress. He looked truly alone like this, like his defenses had dropped. Like he was finally able to hear something he’d realized but started to deny, deny over and over again. 

“Hey, Gerard,” Harry said. Gerard looked over, Harry saw the blue in his eyes and smiled.

“What, Styles?” Gerard responded. The nickname made Harry’s heart flutter.

“I just, I don’t know…I…” Harry trailed off. “I just don‘t know who we’re kidding,” 

Kamala won. (true)

Chapter Text

Gerard stared out his window, longingly, he felt so confused. There was Stephanie, his loving ex-girlfriend, who had been with him through everything. And then there was, Harry. Harry Styles. A british enigma of a man, with hair and sparkling water eyes. He knew he had made a grave mistake.

Get together with this pop star? No. He was straight, he had someone who had once loved him, and he needed her back. 

The hotel where Stephanie was staying had pale white walls and a parking lot outside. Gerard watched from his car as Stephanie exited the building and approached a black sudan, she looked especially gorgeous in her blue dress that went down to her mid calfs with spaghetti straps and a bow on her back. 

Gerard was wearing an emo inspired outfit with a black tee shirt and black pants and black nail polish. He didn’t wear makeup because he had sensitivities due to poor genetics. 

He heard her speak, it was like birdsong.

“Hey Fork, what’s up?” 

Fork???? The ginger?? From Ferg and Sons? Gerard was appalled, he had to say something. Quickly, he exited his car and sauntered over to the sudan, and… Stephanie.

“Stephanie… why are you talking to Fork?” 

She sighed. “Gerard, I’m over you. You 

dumped me worse then anyone else has, and I’ve finally had the strength to get over it. You can’t control who I talk to,” 

“But Stephanie- I’m still in love with you! I haven’t been this said sad since when I was a young boy my father took me on a train and I saw something out the window…”

“What was it?”

“I’ll give you a clue… never forget,”

“What?” Fork asked. “what am I supposed to remember? The prehistoric flesh pits?” 

“Yeah, I saw those out the window September 12th, 2001. The day after September 11th, 2001,” 

“Wow. We’re still not getting back together,” Stephanie said.

“Darn it,” replied Gerard, “I thought that would work.”

“Well it didn’t,” Fork said from the car, “come on Stephanie I’m double parked we gotta get out of here.” 

Stephanie got in the car.

“Why don’t you go back to your pop star boyfriend that you love so much?” Stephanie said, and the car drove away.

Gerard was left devastated on the side of the road. Boyfriend? Could that be true? Sure, he was straight but maybe he could be gay if it was with Styles, maybe he could be gay if it was with the boy with the sunset eyes and that gorgeous voice, and that hair (of course).

But he had to be straight. The government tests proved it… could the government be wrong about something? His veins were normal, but maybe the government had lied. Maybe he had chloroform veins. The secret type of veins that made you immune to government testing.

History Lesson:

The government of America was formed in 1776, New York City, Empire State Building. George President Washington was Gay, they knew this because of the recently discovered ‘eye dilation’ experiment, led by scientist Ben Kite Franklin. The Decleration of Government stated that each child once they reached a certain age will have the Gay test as well as the General Aptitude Test. If the General Aptitude test was succeeded (perfectly average score) they are assigned a normal job. A too a high score, they are sent to the government. A too, too, high score will be sent to the flesh pits. A too low score will be sent to the flesh pits. You can get out of testing if you volunteer in the military for a minimum of 6 years. This is to mantain a perfectly average and successful society. 

The flesh pits have been around since the beginning of time. As the dinosaurs roamed the earth and the meteors fell from the sky, they all ended up in the flesh pits eventually, gasping for air as the mysterious flesh pulled them toward the core of the earth. The flesh pits have always required employees to help the rest of society continue to grow.

Scientists throughout the years have attempted to harness the power and ability of the flesh pits, but none of them were able to succeed, eventually succumbing to the employment of the flesh pits. The flesh pits spread all across America, mysteriously ending before they reached Canada or South America. Other countries later reported smaller flesh pit sightings, however none as demanding as the North American flesh pits.

George Washington stated in his speech, “We will work to mantain a beautiful society and country, we plan to not just live with the flesh pits, but to thrive with the flesh pits. The only way forward, is together, to the end of the flesh pits, the diamter, and the radius,” 

Gerard ran back to his car, sobbing uncontrollably. Was he gay? A homosexual? A slur?(Content Warning: Slur) A c*nt? He knew what he had to do. He needed Harry. Harry Robinnete Styles, pop star sensation of England and parts of the United States. 

+++++

Gerard stood looking at rows and rows of colorful flowers. Next to him, his bitch of a band manager (but also his best friend) stood as well. 

“So, what do you want to tell him exactly?” 

“Well… I want to say, to him, that I might be gay, which I would rather not be, but if I was, then I am deeply in love with him, and also I think that his accent is a little annoying sometimes but If I was gay it would 100% (nsfw warning) turn me on. Also his eyes change color…”

“No they don’t?” Violet interrupted. 

“And that makes me feel like I am going insane, but if I was gay (nsfw warning) that would also turn me on. I just feel like if I was with him, romantically, I would be gay, but I don’t know if I am. But if I am gay, we need to be together, or I will kill myself,”

“That sounds a lot like pink roses. And chrysanthemums, and one orange tulip,” 

“Hey, can you explain those choices?” 

“No,” 

“Wow. You’re such a bitch,” 

“We’re best friends though…” 

“Oh yeah,” Gerard replied, remembering. Violet was the first girl that told him that pink roses, chrysanthemums, and one orange tulip would be the most important message he would ever send. But she wouldn’t be the last girl to tell him this. 

Gerard also bought Harry an authentic British cornflower, to respect his heritage and bravery. Then Gerard had a semi-severe panic attack, he wished he had someone to play chess with, even if it was just in his mind. Unfortunately, he lost his imagination in the flesh pits. 

—-

Harry sat in his room, looking in the mirror. His hair was long, but not too long. He wasn’t wearing any makeup, but he thought he looked okay.

Harry wasn’t used to living in a tour bus, he loved his band mates but they were a little crazy. The bus was parked behind a Walmart because the battle of the bands competition hadn’t given them a parking spot, and was also hosting dangerous levels of carbon monoxide. Harry thought about Gerard, he didn’t know what to do. Gerard was not a great person, he was emo, and mean to his partners, and worst of all, he was straight.

He’d read that Gerard was straight on his facebook page, which was a new platform. Harry… wasn’t. He was bisexual with a preference for… was he straight? No. He thought back to Justin. Justin Bieber, the twenty five year old man that still haunted his thoughts. His first love. But certainly not his last, no, his last love would be G man. Gerard Cosette Way. The black haired man that was a legend in the Flesh Pit Folklore. But why? Because he was the one who slayed the All Powerful.

Harry usually didn’t wear fancy clothes, but he had an idea. So he put on his union jack tuxedo, grabbed a bottle’ off’ water’ (a/n read in english accent plssss ily british people <33) and went to the holy chuorch to find a gift. 

The church didn’t have much, only taxidermied pigeons and one old copy of 50 shades of gray (a/n: that’s an nsfw book but it doesn’t have the slur c*nt in it, so i recommend!!)

Harry finally chose something special, a snow globe, of the crucifixion of Jesus Robinnete Christ, and a pink rose, which in flower language symbolized being bisexual maybe. He was confused, but who wasn’t confused in this current economic climate, the housing market crash of 2013. That’s why they were living in tour buses, usually the bands got houses to stay in. 

“Sup God,” said Harry, “I’m in your place of worship,” 

God appeared in front of him and smiled. 

“Does this mean that our game is over? We can some eat some pasta italiano?” God grinned brightly. 

“Well… I just had a question… is being Gay actually a sin?”

“Well, I’m gay,” God put a hand on Harry’s shoulder, “it didn’t end well, but it was true. Love is true. You are allowed to be gay, but it probably won’t end well, so I wouldn’t persay… reccomend it buttt like if you really want to, I guess you can go for it?” 

“Um…”

“No like, it’s totally a choice, don’t get me wrong, but I think it’s chill. See, I was in a situationship with this guy, you might know him as Steven but his actual name is Satan, it was going well until he dies! Right in front of me! And then I had to go to his funeral dressed in white, obviously-”

“Wait, God, are you El Ravioli?” 

“Shhhh,” God said, and then he vanished.

+++

Two hours later, Gerard stood in front of Harry, holding a bouquet of flowers behind his back. He was wearing an emo shirt and skinny jeans, he had black eye makeup on around his eyes (this was gender affirming to him). Harry had never seen him more beautiful, except for when Gerard was singing, that beautiful emo voice echoing through the wispy air. 

“Harry, I am gay I think? If I am gay I am maybe possibly madly in love with you. I might not be gay, I had a girlfriend, she was great but I always felt like something was missing, that something is you maybe, I’m not a romantic, I’m not like all those other guys, I don’t play sports or hang out at the diner after school-”

“Oy- you’re twenty fouive!” Harry replied. 

“I meant work. But, even if I’m wrong, which I might be, I want to be with you, Harrison Big-Ben Styles,” Gerard took out the flowers from behind his back where he was hiding them. 

“Will you be in love with me?” Gerard blushed. 

“Well I don’t think I’m gay, but because you sounded so hot when you said all those words and I got really (a/n: nsfw warning!! pls stay safe!) turned on, yes, I will be in love with you, Gerald Sadness Way,” Harry took out his own gifts from where he was hiding them in the ether realm. 

“I got you Jesus,” Harry said, holding out the snow globe, and then the pink rose. 

“You’re maybe bisexual?” Gerard said excitedly, he didn’t know much flower language, but he did know this. 

“Yeah,” Harry smiled. Gerard took the snow globe and the rose, feeling his heart beat faster. He hadn’t expected this even for a moment, that Harry would actually reciprocate. He hoped, that maybe in the future, they could create more beautiful music. Maybe their bands would eventually go on tour together, maybe, maybe, maybe. It all ran through Gerards mind faster then the speed of the tour bus rattling down the Oklahoma roads. 

“Well then,” Harry smiled, “are you going to kiss me, or just stand there?” 

And then, Gerard kissed him.