Chapter Text
year four.
it’s a bit unusual for the house to be this filled, especially this early in the morning.
chatter echoes throughout the space, loud exclamations, and secret whispers, all making up a terrible-sounding symphony.
megumi and tsumiki are playing some elaborate board game with onlookers on the coffee table, both of them smiling proudly.
satoru is trying to tidy up the many different plates and cups everyone's left lying around, laughing when shoko rolls her eyes at something he's just said.
and you're in the kitchen, talking with nanami like you haven't seen him in several years--it's been three weeks.
it's very strange for the four of you. to let anyone--not to mention a dozen people--intrude on your carefully planned out saturday mornings. to invite others into your world of burnt breakfasts and uncombed bedhead.
but here you all are, managing.
and you’d reminded satoru probably seventeen times—too many times, he thinks, with far too many knowing glances—that hosting was not something to be taken lightly (and that you weren’t going to help him ((both of you know that you are)).
but he doesn’t mind this.
the crowded house, or the many different phone calls he had to make about getting this party (which he swore wasn’t one) set up. the loud sounds or the inevitable cleanup he'll try to swindle his way out of.
it’s quite nice. actually, satoru is a little proud of his makeshift brunch, and the fact that everyone came, and everyone seems happy. he likes that he can barely hear his thoughts, that there's nothing important enough for him to think about anyway.
and honestly, with all of it going on, satoru should not be this discontented with the fact that you’re smiling at someone else.
he invited nanami because he knows that you miss him and that you’re too embarrassed to admit that. or too proud, maybe. too forgiving. and he knows that you wouldn’t have done it yourself, had he not gotten involved.
but still. should satoru really have to sit back and watch as you fawn over a man who wore a suit to casual brunch?
no, he should not, thank you.
"what's wrong with your face?" shoko asks him after the silence has drawn on for too long, sounding very uninterested.
satoru shakes his head, snapping out of his daze. "what?"
"you've got a weird look."
"no, i don't."
"it's like that time that you chugged the entire carton of expired milk someone left in the fridge."
"don't remind me," he says, trying to put on a theatrical wince, but he just ends up looking back at you, with a blank face.
there is no time for joking, or flamboyancy, or caring about anything else in the world.
shoko does the same, her eyes trailing where his are, watching as you tilt your head at nanami, laughing when he murmurs something.
in typical nanami fashion, his lips only twitch a little bit, but it's enough to tell that he's amused by whatever conversation you're having.
that he's got your full attention, and he gets to watch your eyes as they shift from one glance to another and--
shoko nods, looking back to satoru, who is trapped in his stare. chained down at the mere thought of you. "oh," she says, rolling her eyes.
satoru doesn't look away, but grunts in the form of a question.
"you're an idiot, you know that?"
he frowns. "what?"
her eyes are exasperated, and her smile is all-knowing. she has always alluded satoru, and his very short attention span. and he kind of hates her, at this moment, for distracting him.
"seriously," she scoffs at his perturbed face, "after a whole year of living basically in the same room, i thought that the two of you would finally get over it."
"who?" satoru asks, smiling confusedly. "get over what?"
"you. get over yourself. honestly, only you and y/n would raise two kids together and pretend like there's no intimacy in it."
"what?"' satoru repeats, dumbly.
"and, by the way," shoko tells him, sipping on her drink. "jealousy is not cute."
and then she walks away, like she's answered a single one of satoru's questions.
and he frowns, thinking about it.
because--no, there's no way she was talking about him--he shakes his head. where would she even have gotten that idea? there's--
no.
and it’s—it’s not jealousy. he laughs off that thought.
satoru gojo is the strongest. he's the one everyone looks to. he doesn't have anything to be jealous about.
and besides satoru knows that you don’t get enough time away from your discombobulated family. that your life revolves around them, and they around you.
and the two of you have talked—at length—about the fact that you’re both young, and neither of you should live the lifestyle of some middle-aged parents, with no way to connect with the people in your age group. the people that would’ve been your family, in some alternate universe.
satoru knows that you don’t carve out the things that you need without being asked to, that you get anxious about these types of occasions--he's watched it happen before, when you were forced into a corner at one exchange event the two of you shared, or when yaga took you all out to dinner, and you'd shrink yourself in your seat until someone noticed.
he's seen you try to make yourself smaller at the convenience of others, and as he's grown (he almost winces at the thought) satoru has sworn to himself that he'd keep you from any situation where that might be necessary.
so he shouldn’t--he doesn't--mind that you’re having a good time. he should be--is--happy with himself, for setting it up so you could, for planning it around you, and the kids. he should be preparing himself to gloat in your face about the fact that he thought of this, and he set it up all on his own.
god. he doesn't have anything to be jealous about.
but that doesn't change the fact that satoru can't really see beyond you, ten feet away from him, laughing at something that nanami said.
and maybe it's not the fact that you're talking to him, or that you're smiling at him like satoru wants to be smiled at, he thinks, but more that you don't act that way with him.
satoru is well aware of the grounds in your relationship, and he knows that you spend most of your days rolling your eyes at the obnoxious things that he says, trying to protect the children--and him--from the antics that you've all grown used to.
he's not jealous, but maybe he's a little bit annoyed that he hasn't seen you this easy, and light since you were still in school. since you were still younger than him, and still someone he could look down upon.
you cling to nanami like satoru clings to you, he realizes, sullenly. you smile and tease--if just the way your eyes crinkle means anything.
you grin at nanami like you're trying to irritate him. like you're the reckless one between the two.
and maybe it hurts satoru more just to know that you are the reckless one.
he'd lived with the two of you for three years. he'd experienced nanami's typical brooding--which, now, reminds him a lot of megumi, actually--and the way he'd think through everything. maybe a little bit too much, even.
satoru was always there to watch you giggle alongside the austere man, pull him out of whatever thought process was darkening the mood, and remind him that none of it was all that serious.
satoru knows--he knows--that you and him are similar. he knows that it's why he feels the way he does with you. that the way the two of you dance around your emotions, and say nothing that you truly mean is something to cherish, if also something to despise.
he's not jealous, but maybe it hurts satoru because he knows that you've never been able to truly not care, with him. that he takes up all of the ignorance one household can get, even without meaning to.
or maybe it's just been a long time since he got the chance to watch you interact with anyone else.
maybe he's just ridiculous, and he should go do something else before he thinks about this for too long. shoko is wrong, though, he thinks. he's definitely not jealous.
he's satoru gojo. he doesn't have anything to be jealous about.
but he's still watching when you shake your head at something nanami says, tapping him on the shoulder and excusing yourself while waving him on, still light and airy, eyes meeting satoru's with that same grin.
it's probably worse to know that it doesn't quite belong to him. that he's not the sole benefactor of it all.
"hey," you say, bumping into him on purpose when you come over, your hands wrapping around his forearm as you lean on him. "need help?"
"nah, i've got it," he finally looks away. he doesn't want to watch this.
but you're still grinning at him, trying to catch his eye--even with the sunglasses. "you're all alone over here," you coo, "i can help you clean up."
satoru snorts. "i thought you weren't going to help with anything."
"well, since i'm already here..." you drawl, beginning to pick up spare utensils, and napkins. all of the things he'd been too distracted to do.
you're humming as you do it, completely content with everything.
satoru tries not to grind his teeth at the fact that your mood is not because of him.
"how's nanami?" he asks, unprecendented, after a moment.
you shrug. "he's good. i guess the real world sucks too," you say it with a lilt, like there's an inside joke that satoru is missing.
he shakes his head, trying to keep his words civil. "the real world?"
"the corporate universe, and laws of reality, or whatever," you roll your eyes, and you sound exactly like him. "no curses or magic to liven things up."
"no monsters, you mean."
"or that," you smile at him, looking almost giddy.
satoru hums.
you put all of the trash you've collected on a serving dish, piling things up without a care in the world. and then you turn towards satoru, and he can feel your slight frown before he can see it. "you okay?" you ask him.
satoru freezes. "what?"
"is it getting to you? the brunch?"
"what? no, i'm fine," he tries to look at you like you're ridiculous, but his face feels stiff, and wrong, and far too happy for you.
"you look like your tongue is too big to fit in your mouth."
he sticks his tongue out, almost on command. "does it look any different?"
"hmm," you pretend to observe. "yeah. might want to see a doctor about it."
"noted."
"are you trying not to laugh at something? you can tell me if i have something on my face, you know."
satoru's smile is a bit easier at that, but he shakes his head anyway. he kind of wants to run away to his room--something he's learned from raising two children. "no, i'm just thinking."
you raise a brow.
satoru scowls. "what? you didn't think it was possible?"
"no, not really."
he shakes his head. he tries to turn away, scoffing like it's a joke (it's not), but your hand reaches for his bicep before he can.
"hey," you say to him. he turns back to you, and your smile, nose scrunched up as you lean in. "how are you?"
"busy. i have to go make sure there's enough ice in that bucket."
"i'll come with you," you say, even though you both know that he's lying.
"no. i'm sure nanami has more he wants to talk with you about."
"is that what this is about? nanami? are you mad at him, or something?"
"why would i be mad at him?"
"i don't know, satoru, your brain is a confusing thing," you tug on his hair just a little bit. "hey, c'mon. why're you upset?"
"i'm not upset."
satoru should be basking in your attention, but he can't quite bring himself to notice it. or that you spend every day with him--mostly without complaint--and never fail to laugh at something he says.
no, his thoughts are not very organized, at the moment.
"you've got your little angry pout on," you nudge his lips with a finger. "i think you've been spending too much time with megumi."
he grabs your hand, trying not to squeeze. "i'm fine. go hang out. you're not supposed to be helping me."
this time, you pout. "you don't want to spend time with me?"
he groans, throwing his head back. "i'm trying to be nice," he tells you. "you know, like how you're always telling me to?"
"ew," you say, giggling a little bit. "i don't like it."
he rolls his eyes.
"seriously, come hang out with me and the kids. we can beat them at charades, or something, again. you need a little pep in your step."
"what are you, my mom?" he deadpans but feels his heart twitch a little bit because you're still holding onto him.
"might as well be. take a break, satoru, i miss you."
you say it so easily and nonchalantly that satoru wants to pick you up and lock you in a little box, just so you can never talk to anyone but him again.
he stares at you, blinking beneath his glasses, feeling like you're doing all of this just to mess with him.
honestly, whiplash is a serious condition.
you smile at him, fluttering your eyelashes unknowingly, pouting at him a little bit, even through the smile.
and satoru's never been able to say no to you, so he lets you pull him with you, back to the kitchen, where you grab nanami too--to the dismay of satoru, of course. he tries not to glare.
and satoru chooses to ignore the discerning look that nanami sends him, and the fact that his arm tightens around your waist as you drag the two men along.
he's not jealous. god, it's just very loud in here.
*
somewhere several minutes earlier, when the two of you were standing just a little bit too close to each other, both of you pouting, looking like two children fighting over a toy--you had a couple of spectators.
shoko scoffs, shaking her head. "that's disgusting."
you're on your tiptoes, head tilted as you purr something to satoru. they can't see his eyes from twenty feet away, but they can all tell that they're stuck on you. glued, never to be torn away.
megumi looks at the woman, then follows her eyes to the two of you, blank-faced.
tsumiki giggles.
"we know," they both say, rolling their eyes.