Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sapnap, more often than not, took care of himself. Even living with Dream, and now George, he was fully capable of handling himself. Especially in his regression. Little Sap didn’t rely on anyway, because he didn’t allow himself to. He knew that he probably needed a caregiver, just to make sure he was safe, but nothing bad had happened since he moved in with Dream all that time ago, and he never told Dream then, so he was certain he’d be fine. Neither Dream or George even know, it’s too late to tell them now anyway.

He will admit, sometimes it was hard hiding it from him. He was usually able to escape before he slipped into the headspace, going upstairs to his room and making sure that door stayed closed all night, keeping big lights off and relying on the idea that Dream knew he could sleep with his LED lights on so Dream or George wouldn’t bother him at night. It worked, for a while. Even as he noticed Dream got more and more irritated with Sapnap ditching them in the middle of a show. 

He figured Dream would get over it, especially after he and George told him they were dating. Cool, they could focus on each other more and Sapnap would have more time to be by himself and indulge in his coping mechanism. But, of fucking course, that didn’t happen. They tried including him more , as if trying to compensate for their relationship. Sapnap knew they loved him, they really didn’t need to do all this extra shit to try and prove it. 

He didn’t realize just how irritated Dream was getting with Sapnap ditching them, though, since one morning at breakfast Dream completely blew up on him. It wouldn’t have been an issue, if Sapnap didn’t already feel the fuzz in his mind from the night before. 

“Seriously, dude! You’re always just fucking disappearing! It’s getting really annoying,” Dream snapped. He’d been going on for the past three minutes, and Sapnap didn’t say anything as he was staring at the countertop, trying to will little Sap back into the spot in his mind where he was safe. “And all these bullshit excuses. If you don’t wanna hang out with us, just fucking tell us! Stop playing pretend and promising us shit if you know you’re not gonna wanna do it! I can’t even believe you when you suggest half the shit you say anymore! It’s to the point I’m not sure you even still wanna be friends!”

That hurt. 

Sapnap knew Dream’s feelings were hurt, but Sapnap tried during the day to make up for it. He didn’t run into hiding until night time. He thought Dream could recognize that effort at least. His brain must be clouded with anger, though, so big Sapnap didn’t hold it against him. But little Sap… he was affected. While Little Sap never really interacted with Dream, he knew how much the man meant to his bigger headspace. Being yelled at like this wasn’t good for either of them. 

But of course, when a child is upset and being yelled at, he starts to cry. Sapnap could feel the tears brewing in his eyes, and the lump caught in his throat before Sapnap had a chance to defend himself. George must’ve noticed the uncharacterized silence from his friend, because he was staring at Sapnap, expecting any sort of retaliation. Sapnap simply blinked, and Dream continued muttering to himself. 

“Dream,” George said, trying to catch the blonds attention, course that didn’t work through his brooding. Sapnap felt the tears threaten to fall, his breathing choking him. “Dream,” George tried again, more urgently. Once again, to no avail. 

Sapnap glanced at him, and the moment he did a tear strayed down his cheek. “Clay!” George finally snapped, catching Dream’s attention. George glared at him like he was a dumbass, before looking at Sapnap, getting Dream to look at his younger friend and seeing the broken face. 

“Nick-” Dream tried, immediately feeling bad for making his friend cry. 

“I’m gonna go shower… if you’re done screaming at me,” Sapnap whispered, wiping his face and standing. 

“Nick I-” Dream tried once more, but Sapnap stood and quickly left the counter, his breakfast untouched where he was once sitting. 

“You couldn’t have been any nicer about it?” George asked, crossing his arms. 

“I have a right to be irritated!” Dream tried. 

“Yes, you do, but instead of freaking out on him so early in the morning, talk to him like he’s another fucking person!” George snapped. “We don’t know what’s going on with him. Maybe he’s going through something we don’t know about! But good for you, you made him cry!” George scoffed as he walked away from the blond, letting him sit and think about his actions. 

Sapnap didn’t come back out for the rest of the day. Which, maybe, was counterintuitive. But Little Sap was just not going away. He slipped and couldn’t bring himself back out of it like he usually could. Tears stained his cheeks as he silently cried while attempting to play with the Panda bear, the only toy he had. His eyes hurt, he needed a nap, but he couldn’t sleep without tossing and turning. 

Eventually his door opened, and he was caught redhanded with the bear by George. The Brit stared at him in a bit of confusion as Sapnap tried hiding the bear under the blanket. “Go ‘way! Git out!” Little Sap shouted, more tears streaming down his cheeks. 

“Sap-” George tried, noticing the different behavior. 

“Out! Out! Out!” Sapnap cried, grabbing his pillow to throw at the door, another sob ripping from his throat as he curled up on himself. 

George closed the door as the pillow landed on the floor, blinking slowly as he sat down on the floor in front of Sapnap’s door, listening to Sapnap sobbing. It broke his heart, but it was clear Sapnap didn’t want him. He didn’t move, though, until the sobs turned into nothing but sniffles. “Pandas, can I come in?” George tried, and he heard footsteps reach the door before something pressed against the wood, keeping it shut. He realized Sapnap was sitting against the door now. 

“No. Go ‘ways!” Sapnap said, voice cracked and broken. 

“Buddy, I just wanna help,” George tried again. 

“Don’t needs it! Go. ‘ways!” Sapnap shouted again. George exhaled in defeat, leaning against the wall next to the door. 

Dream came upstairs, looking confused. “Don’t say anything,” George whispered, holding his hand up. “I need you to go back down stairs and look up age regression. The coping mechanism, ignore everything sexual you may find. I think I know why he goes to bed so early.” 

Dream blinked, but slowly went back downstairs to follow the request with a final glance at his boyfriend. 

“Pandas-” George tried once more.

“No! No! No! No!” Sapnap shouted.

“Okay! Okay,” George said, exhaling softly. “Okay, I’ll go away,” he promised, hearing Sapnap hiccup. He slowly stood, crossing his arms as he stared at the door, desperately willing it would open. It never did, and he walked downstairs defeated. 

Dream met him in the kitchen a half an hour later with his laptop, looking confused. “Why’re you having me look this up?” Dream asked, as he sat at the island, scrolling. 

“Nick’s an age regressor,” George mumbled, scratching at his scalp. “I cannot believe I didn’t notice.”

“How would you’ve noticed, it’s not like he’s told us anything,” Dream scoffed. 

“Exactly,” George mumbled. “He goes to bed early, he watches cartoons with Karl without a single argument, he’s got this… kids bubble stuff he hides in our bathroom. I never questioned it because I thought it was more of a guilty pleasure kinda thing, I didn’t even suspect this.”

“How do you know what it is?” Dream asked. 

“I helped a little back when I was in university,” George explained. “It wasn’t for a long time, just a couple of months until he moved to France, but… I should’ve noticed.” 

“So what do we do?” Dream asked. 

“I don’t know. He won’t let me talk to him,” George mumbled, picking at his nails. “I… I personally want to help him. I don’t know how you feel about it, I know some people are off put by this kinda thing. But I… I wanna help him.”

Dream blinked, looking at his screen again. “It’s not that… I’m off put, I just… I don’t understand.”

“It’s a coping mechanism,” George shrugged. “It’s how he processes trauma, but he shouldn’t go through it alone. I don’t think it’s fair that he does.”

“But how do we help?” Dream asked. “We just… treat him like a baby? Or a toddler?” 

“Yeah,” George nodded, “You wouldn’t want a baby taking care of themself.”

“But Sap can take care of himself,” Dream tried. 

“Technically, yes,” George agreed. “But when he’s in little space, his brain regresses back to an age where he might not be able to do it. Sure he can comprehend more, his brain doesn’t just degrade and suddenly he’s incapable of being an adult. He just… he indulged in childlike behavior and activities and enjoys being indulged in that. It’s like healing his inner child. And it’s really cute.” 

Dream nodded, a small smile cracking through the otherwise stoic face. “If he doesn't want the help, though…”

“It’s his choice, and I won’t force it, but… I’m hoping he warms up to the idea,” George whispered, looking at the stairs as if he was hoping Sapnap would come down them. He never did. 

They didn’t see Sapnap again until the next day. He came downstairs looking defeated and exhausted. Dream glanced at him, his face screwing with worry for his friend. But Sapnap walked past him, going into the kitchen to grab a snack. 

He must’ve not realized George was in there, because he jumped upon seeing him. 

“Hey,” George said softly. “Can I talk to you?” 

Sapnap grabbed an apple, seeming to consider his options before sitting on the counter and staying put. “What?” he asked, not rudely, but clearly out of it. 

“You’re an age regressor?” George asked, and Sapnap nodded as he took a bite of the apple. “Okay. That’s okay. But, you know you don’t have to hide, right? I’m not really… sure what role Dream wants to take. But I could’ve helped you…”

“I don’t need the help,” Sapnap mumbled through his mouthful. “Been taking care of myself long enough.” 

“No, I know, but… I-”

“It’s fine, George. I don’t wanna bother you guys anymore than I have been,” Sapnap mumbled, getting off the counter and moving to leave the kitchen, taking another bite as he did. George followed him instinctively. 

“I want to help,” George said as Sapnap reached the staircase, getting Sapnap to freeze and turn around. Dream looked up at them, and Sapnap caught his glance before looking at the apple in his hands. “I can help. I have experience- I… I don’t want you to be alone anymore.” 

Sapnap inhaled shakily, “I can’t force him to trust you,” Sapnap whispered. “He’s… he’s scared now.”

“Scared of me?” George whispered, and Sapnap glanced at Dream. Dream deflated when he realized. 

“No. Scared of me,” Dream said, and George glanced at him. 

“I tried,” Sapnap whispered. “I tried keeping him at bay. But I’d already taken the risk coming downstairs when I felt cloudy. You weren’t yelling at me, Dream. You were yelling at him.”

“You could’ve… you’ve been here for so long,” Dream whispered, finally standing to walk to them. 

“I wanted to,” Sapnap admitted. “But, I’m so used to taking care of myself after what she did… I just,” he cleared his throat. “I have to protect him. From everyone. I have to take care of him. You already get ticked off when I get overwhelmed, or I freak out, or I cancel plans for whatever reason. I wasn’t sure how you’d react to having to take care of a side of me that… needs accommodations like that. You have… a schedule. Your brain relies on things staying to plan because that’s what you’re comfortable with. He’d be testing you everyday, and I wasn’t ready to…” He paused. “Especially with you not knowing a whole lot about it. At least, that’s what I suspected. I didn’t know George had experience.”

“So what can we do?” George whispered. “Because it’s not fair for you to be alone just to try to keep us comfortable. You deserve comfort too.”

“I’m not saying you can’t try,” Sapnap reasoned. “But I can’t make him your baby. I can guide, I can protect, but I can’t force him.”

George nodded in understanding, taking a deep breath and glancing at Dream. 

“And,” Sapnap started again, “I think it’d be best if George tried alone, for a little while,” He whispered, looking back down at the apple. “I love you, man. You know I do,” he started before Dream could start talking, desperately looking back at his friend. “But, I don’t know how well he’d open up to you. Not right now.” 

Dream nodded in understanding, “I get it,” He promised. “George can have the reins.” 

Sapnap nodded, running a hand through his unruly hair. “I’m gonna…” He mumbled, jutting his thumb back upstairs. 

“For a nap or…”

“Yeah, I’m too tired,” Sapnap said, and George nodded. They let him go, and George exhaled, crossing his arms and looking at Dream, who just looked guilty. 

“There’s no way you could’ve known,” George tried, deciding to wrap his arms around Dream. Dream held him back resting his cheek upon the top of his head. 

“I know him,” Dream whispered. “I should’ve noticed how quiet he was. It’s unlike him when we argue. I should’ve known better.”

“We’ll learn,” George promised, and Dream nodded as they separated and moved to the couch. 

Sometime, during the night, Little Sap got bold. He walked out of the room, searching for something to eat. Sometimes he ran out of snacks and needed something before Sapnap could refill his minifridge. He made it down to the kitchen silently, digging through cabinets to find anything . He was caught again, though, when he jumped and noticed George there. 

“Sap?” he whispered tiredly. 

“Just hung’y,” Sapnap whispered, trying his best to sound big. George blinked at him. 

“Do you want goldfish?” George whispered, seeing through the facade almost immediately. 

Little Sap retreated to the corner as George carefully approached, reaching and grabbing the bag hidden behind other snacks. It’d been unopened, so George held it out for the little. Sapnap didn’t take it. 

“Do you not want it, darling?” George asked softly. 

“Don wan be welled at,” Sap admitted. 

“No one’s gonna yell at you, darling,” George promised. “You deserve a snack for being such a good boy.”

“No bein’ good boy,” Sapnap disagreed. “Mades him mads at Nickie.”

“Darling, he didn’t understand,” George whispered, “We didn’t know about you. I already talked to him about his anger, and I promise you he isn’t going to yell at you for needing a snack.”

“D’ese his… Nickie tol’s me-”

“I’ll buy him more if he really wants them,” George promised. “But I think he’d be perfectly fine with you having them.”

Sap blinked, “Puts in bo’l for me?” he asked. “Jus’ whittle bit?” 

George nodded, opening the bag and grabbing one of their plastic bowls. He poured some in, glancing at Sap when he finished. “Is that enough?” He whispered. 

“Don’ wan take too much,” Sapnap whispered, still hesitant to accept the bowl. 

“I’m sure he won’t even notice,” George promised as he closed the bag. “Do you want some fruit snacks? Those are mine, and I’m happy to share.”

“Otay,” Sap whispered, and George grabbed a little baggie of the treat, setting that in the bowl too and hold it out for Sap to take. He did, finally, holding the bowl with two hands very carefully. 

“Do you want a drink?” George asked. 

“Has wa’der,” Sapnap whispered, carefully staring at the bowl as he tried walking out of the kitchen. George carefully tried to maneuver him so he didn’t hit the counter, and while the little didn’t react verbally, he flinched at being touched. 

“Sorry, Darling, I didn’t want you getting hurt,” George whispered, and Sap nodded as he made it to the stairs, carefully walking up each step. Stepping on one, placing both feet on it, counting two seconds, and then doing it again. George stayed behind him to make sure he got up safely, and opened Sapnap’s door for him. 

“Tanks you,” Sapnap whispered as he walked in, setting the bowl down on his desk. 

“Of course, darling,” George smiled. “Do you have comfy clothes?” he asked. 

Sap shook his head, and George sighed, “Do you want some?” He asked, and Sap blinked. 

“Nos,” he finally whispered. “Dat’s okay. I have Pan-pan,” he whispered, pointing at the panda bear. 

“Is that all you have?” George asked, his heart breaking as Sapnap nodded. “Is that what you do? Sit here and play with Pan-pan?” He asked.

“Ands I watch d’ree bears,” Sapnap smiled, pointing at his computer monitor. Three Bare Bears on the screen, George smiled as he felt a lump in his throat at the little one not having proper gear. 

“Okay,” George whispered, “Well, you know. I think you deserve a present for being so good and brave today.” 

“Pwesant?” Sap whispered, and George nodded. 

“Stay here, and I’ll go get it, okay?” He asked, and Sapnap nodded. George carefully stepped next door to his room, where Dream was sleeping. They alternated rooms, usually they slept downstairs in Dream’s, but George insisted they sleep in his so he could listen for Sapnap just in case. He opened his bottom drawer, finding the pajama pants he bought earlier for this exact reason, grabbing them and bringing them back to Sap. 

They were black and white fuzzy pajama pants, like a panda. 

“Hey, darling, do you like these?” He asked, carefully offering the folded item to Sap. The little took them carefully, seeming to enjoy the texture. 

“Soft,” Sap whispered, and George smiled. 

“Yes, they are soft. And they’re for you, to sleep in,” George whispered, helping him unfold and reveal that they’re pants. 

“Don’ deser’be,” Sap whispered. 

“Yes, you do,” George disagreed softly, ignoring the urge to run his hand through Sapnap’s hair. “You deserve so much more, my darling. Please?”

Sapnap looked at them, “Tanks you,” he whispered, and George nodded. 

“Can you put them on or do you want help?” George asked. 

“I gots it,” Sapnap whispered, already trying to wiggle out of his shorts despite George still in the room. When he successfully got them off and the pjs on, George smiled. 

“Such a big boy,” George whispered, and Sap beamed at him. “Do you want anything else, Darling?” 

“No tanks you,” Sapnap whispered, continuing to rub the pants. 

“Okay, I’ll be right next door if you want me, okay? He is in there, but he won’t yell at you again if you need us, okay?”

Sap nodded. 

“Okay,” George whispered, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I love you, Darling.” 

“Ni-ni,” Sapnap whispered, and George smiled as he carefully shut the door. 

As soon as he was sitting back in bed, he pulled out his phone to order Sapnap some little gear. Dream rolled over, wrapping his arms around George’s waist and pressing his face into his hip. “He okay?” Dream’s asked, voice croaky and full of sleep. 

“Yeah,” George said, inhaling sharply. “I gave him some of your goldfish,” He said. 

“I have goldfish?” Dream mumbled, looking up at him. 

“You bought it like a week ago, figured you’d forgotten about it,” George mumbled, and Dream nodded against him. “I’m getting him some little gear. He has nothing but that stuffed bear… and now some comfy pants.”

“You think he’ll accept it?” Dream asked, pushing himself up to sit and lean against Dream’s shoulder instead. 

“I’m hoping he will. Or I’ll just set it on his bed and let him do whatever he will with it. Like Sapnap said, we can’t force him. But he seemed to react well with me tonight.”

Dream nodded again, “He’ll be okay,” He whispered, as George leaned his head against him. “You’ll make sure of it.” 

“I hope so.”

Chapter Text

When Sapnap had learned that George had a decent interaction with Little Sap, he eased up in his worry. Now when he left at night, he didn’t feel the need to be terribly secretive. 

“I’m gonna… go,” Sapnap mumbled once their episode was done. He waited until it they’d gotten to a stopping point. Dream nodded, now understanding. 

“Do you… do you wanna stay out here? I can-“ Dream started to offer. 

“No, no,” Sapnap said instantly. “I think he’s more comfortable in my room regardless. It’s fine. You’re fine.” He promised, before saying his goodnights and going upstairs. 

Little Sap played alone for a while, happily sitting in his comfy pants and babbling to Pan-Pan; watching We Bare Bears. He got hungry and checked the mini fridge, finding it empty again. He pouted, big Sapnap must’ve forgotten to fill it again. He sighed, having to be bold again and leave his room. Very carefully, he left his room and made his way downstairs. He glanced at George’s room, momentarily wondering if he should ask for help, but quickly decided against it. 

Once he was downstairs, he noticed the kitchen light on. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he put his necklace in his mouth, sucking on it like a soother. He peeked in, finding Dream sleeping at the island, laptop in front of him but the screen turned off. He pouted, Dream couldn’t sleep there. It would be painful, even Sap knew that. His hand was shaking, but he very carefully, stepped forward and poked his shoulder. Dream didn’t stir, so he tried again, a bit harder this time. 

Dream jolted awake, and Sap jumped back, taking shelter on the other side of the island as Dream blinked himself awake. He cleared his throat, rubbing his hand against his face before realizing where he was and what had happened. His gaze finally found  Sap, and it dawned on him how he woke up. 

“Hey,” Dream whispered softly. 

“Hi,” Sap whispered back, keeping himself away from Dream. “No sweep heres, it huwrteds,” he added after a moment of silence. 

“I know, buddy,” Dream yawned. “I didn’t mean to. I was trying to work and not bother Georgie.” He explained softly. “Are you okay?” He asked. 

“Mhm,” Sapnap nodded. “Hung’y,” he added, “buts i’s fines, I go-“

“No, no, buddy. If you’re hungry you should eat,” Dream said softly. “Do you want more goldfish?” 

“I’s yours,” Sap mumbled through the necklace in his mouth. “I no means to takes i’s! Gogy-“ 

“It’s okay, buddy! I know Georgie gave it to you. You can have more, I wasn’t going to eat it. I forgot it was there. Do you want more?” He asked, and Sap nodded slowly. “Can I step over there?” Dream asked, and Sap looked down, nodding as he stepped towards the dining room, standing closer to the table as Dream walked into the kitchen. Dream exhaled softly, not liking the fear on his friend's face. He got the goldfish down. 

“Do you want it in a bowl or the bag, buddy?” Dream asked softly. 

“Bo’l,” Sap whispered, and Dream nodded, grabbing the same plastic bowl that George had used and filling that a bit. 

Dream noticed the fruit snacks, grabbing a packet and putting it in the bowl as well before putting the rest of the crackers away. “Do you need juice?” Dream asked, and Sapnap shook his head.

“Has wa’der,” He whispered, and Dream nodded, gently putting the bowl on the edge of the island counter so Sap could feel safe grabbing it. 

Sap eyed it for a moment, watching as Dream took a step back as well. “You can take it baby. I put it there so you would,” Dream whispered, and Sap nodded, carefully reaching for it. “Do you need help up the stairs?” He asked, and Sap shook his head. 

“Tanks you,” Sapnap whispered, carefully taking the bowl with both hands against it and going to the staircase. Dream followed behind him, making sure never to close the space between them so Sap felt safe. He saw George at the top of the stairs with a small smile. Sapnap noticed him as well, but didn’t react as he went up the stairs very carefully. 

“De gibes me the fwuit,” Sap whispered when he reached George finally. 

“That’s okay, they’re for you now anyway,” George whispered, opening Sapnap’s door for him again. He glanced over to see Dream halfway up the stairs now, but not moving to walk up them anymore. Sapnap sat down on his bed with the bowl, slowly eating fish by fish. 

“Do you wanna come say goodnight to him,” George whispered to Dream, who shook his head no. George deflated a bit at Dream’s answer, but Dream seemed just as scared to freak Sapnap out as Sap was scared of him, so he didn’t push. 

“Do you need anything, Darling?” George asked, standing in Sapnap’s room’s doorway.

“No tanks you. Ni-ni, Gogy,” Sapnap whispered with a yawn. 

“Goodnight, Darling. We love you,” George said softly, closing the door as Dream finished ascending the rest of the stairs. “He came to you?” George whispered as he stepped towards his own room, but Dream didn’t move to follow, staring at the door.  

“I’d fallen asleep at the island,” Dream whispered, and George sighed softly as he crossed his arms over his torso, weirdly cold. “Despite his fear of me, he woke me up and said I couldn’t sleep there. It would hurt if I did.”

“He still cares about you, Dream,” George whispered. “He freaked when I tried giving him your goldfish the other night, he didn’t want to take it without asking. He cares, despite his fear. The more you two interact, the more he’ll see that you’re not angry with him. That you don’t want to yell at him ever again. You gotta give it time.”

“I know,” Dream whispered, finally moving his feet to approach George. “But… we never see him except at night. How much time is it gonna take?” he asked. 

“As much time as he needs,” George whispered, taking Dream’s hand and leading him into their room to go back to sleep.