Chapter Text
"HAHAHA! LOOK AT THIS LOSER WITH THE STUPID BOOK!" A kid said, as he flipped through Kristen's book. Nothing much happened during or after the presentation for any of our intrepid heroes. They just went to their classes, and now they were standing in line at lunch.
"UNHAND THAT BOOK!" A girl said, that girl being Adaine, who quickly walked up to the bully. "That is a violation of school conduct! That bo-what even is that thing?"
"It's the word of Helio, transcribed in this neat little package! I was there when it was written! They're the speeches from the Pastor!"
Adaine looked at Kristen, with a look that suggested more confusion, or pity.
"Huh?"
"You can read it if you want! It's really eye-opening!"
"Reading's nerd shit, anyways. You can have your book...when it's your turn." The kid threw the book, straight into a vat of corn soup. Or corn chowder. Or cream of corn. Whatever it was, it was gross, and had corn.
"YOU DARE DISRESPECT THE HOLY WORD OF HELIO! SHAME! SHAME ON YOU!" Kristen said, as she smacked the kid.
"THAT'S ENOUGH! RAGH, APOLOGIZE TO KRISTEN! KRISTEN, APOLOGIZE TO RAGH. KRISTEN, YOU HAVE DETENTION!" The coach, Daybreak, suddenly appeared, yelling at Kristen.
"Isn't Ragh also supposed to be punished?" Adaine questioned.
"YOU GET DETENTION, TOO, FOR TALKING BACK!"
"SERIOUSLY?" Adaine thought about it for a moment, and just accepted her fate. He really WAS giving her detention, after all.
"Yo, daddio. Got a sweet new ride. Wanna ditch school?" Johnny Spells said to his girlfriend, Penelope Everpetal.
"Firstly, you don't go here. Secondly...of course, my dear." Penelope agreed, and she left with Johnny.
...And Riz was watching the entire time. He was gathering evidence for his case file, and saw what seemed to be a 20-something dude, with a 16 year old. It tickled his detective senses, so he decided to pursue the lead.
"Mind telling me what you are doing, Riz?" ...He just forgot to be sneaky in his tailing, as Principal Aguefort caught him immediately. He seemed...weirdly understanding.
"Oh, uh...sir. Penelope Everpetal was-"
"We can talk after school...during detention."
All the kids were now in detention. Kristen, Adaine, Fig, Gorgug, Riz, and Fabian all sat in the empty classroom of detention.
"Um...Fabian, if that's your name?" Gorgug started.
"It's Fabian Aramais Seacaster, for your information, Flower boy." Fabian replied.
"That's not nice!" Kristen said.
"Also, didn't Gorgug beat you up?" Fig said.
"That isn't known. I could have had the upper hand at some point, had the teachers not rudely interrupted the fight."
"I don't know what I did to make you fight me, though..." Gorgug said.
"He's a jerk, plain and simple?" Fig replied.
"I am the son of Bill Seacaster. I have to make an entrance." Fabian said.
"Your entrance was being beat up by the kid with the stupid metal flower."
"I thought the flower was pretty! Not as pretty as one forged by Helio's light, but a pretty one nonetheless!" Kristen said.
"I, uh...hello, I'm Adaine Abernant." Adaine said, not-so-subtly panicking. Her parents were going to KILL her for this, and she was never going to hear the end of it from her sister. She's never been in detention in general, before, either.
"Can you please be quiet? I'm trying to research something." Riz said, as he was on his briefcase laptop.
"We're trying to have a DISCUSSION, Briefcase Kid. Not just sit around waiting for the teacher to come." Fabian said in reply.
"Well, I'm trying to get some work done."
"We don't even have homework for today, what the hell are you even doing?"
"It's a nerd with the internet. Anime or p-" Fig said, as suddenly, the kids heard a loud bang from the cafeteria.
"SHOOT! WHAT WAS THAT?" Riz said, as he quickly closed his Brieftop
"Sho-should we leave the classroom? We still have detention!" Adaine said.
"Who cares about that? We need to see what's going on!" Riz replied, as he ran out the classroom. Fig and Fabian both shrugged, like they both knew what the other was thinking. Anything to get out of detention, I guess.
The kids ran to the cafeteria, as they saw a huge fire break out from the lunch lady's room.
"Oh, no! We should save her!" Adaine said, as she charged headfirst towards the kitchen. Suddenly, closer to the source of the fire, she noticed something out of the corner of her eye.
A monster. One that jumped forward, trying to attack Adaine. In a panic, she pulled out her wand, shooting a ray of frost at it.
"Miss Adaine, wait-" Gorgug said, as he saw Adaine shoot the ray. The monster dodged.
Everybody else also saw Adaine pull out the wand.
"Wow, rich kid! Cool move you got there! Did mommy and daddy buy that for you?" Fig asked.
"Miss Fig, what did you say?" Kristen said, reading the nametags everyone had to make as a part of one of their classes.
"YOU CAN CAST MAGIC?" Fabian yelled.
"My parents are going to kill me." Adaine said, feeling like she could crumble into bits.
Suddenly, Riz noticed something.
The monster...was made of liquid.
Specifically...
"Corn chowder?" Riz incredulously said.
The ice started to melt, as the boiling monster tried to jump at the...kid barely taller than it.
"AH!"
Adaine shot another frost blast, as, suddenly, someone slid a weapon under the table for Riz.
A gun.
"What the hell?" Riz asked.
"THAT'S MY HERO! GO APE SH-bleep" A voice yelled behind the teens. It was Arthur "Motherbleeping" Aguefort.
Fabian, also, quickly dodged a sword being thrown at him from behind. Gorgug somehow grabbed the ax thrown at him.
"Mr. Aguefort? Why are you here?" Gorgug said.
"bleeps and giggles, of course- WHY DO YOU THINK I'M HERE? I'M HERE TO TELL YOU HOW. TO KICK. MONSTER. BLEEP."
"How can you do that with your mouth-"
"BLEEP LOADS OF MAGIC, MY DEAR INTREPID HERO!"
"What?"
"Flower kid, let's just handle these Corn Cuties, then we can ask how the hell he censors himself." Fig said, smacking one of the corn monsters with her guitar.
"MY...CORN..." A zombie-like grandma rushes out.
"Corn what?" Riz asks, picking up the gun, and firing at some corn cuties. "I need it for my case file!"
"NO ONE KNOWS! I DON'T, EVEN! AND I HAVE MAGIC!" Aguefort answered.
"How can you feed this stuff to kids?" Fabian said, stabbing a Corn Cutie.
"WE CAN'T! I JUST MAKE THE HEALTH INSPECTORS TRIP THEIR BLEEPS OFF WHEN THEY SEE IT!"
"Mom and dad said to stay calm. Stay calm, Gorgug. Stay calm." Gorgug tried to breath, and recite his songs.
They did not work.
The moment the stingingly hot monsters touched Gorgug, he let out a scream of pure rage, as he grabs a broom, smacking the Corn Cuties away.
"Mayhelioprotectus, mayHelioprotectus-" Kristen chanted, as she held onto a charm she had. Of corn, of course.
Suddenly...she had a vision.
Kristen sees...Helio. Or, who she assumes is Helio.
In a field. In front of her.
Helio...was a beautiful man. Long, flowing hair, wearing regal garb that looked straight out of...the roman empire, she guessed? Her knowledge of history was entirely corn-based up until this point. She did not know much.
"Hello...Brah." Helio said, a golden bag of corn kernels hanging from his...immaculately toned waist.
"H-Hi. A-Are you Helio, b-brah?" Kristen replied.
"Yes, brah. Pretty gnarly, isn't it? And you're pretty gnarly yourself, girl. Being the chosen one and all that."
"I-I'm the chosen one?"
"Of course, brah. All of Helio's followers are, in their own special ways."
"Wait, what does that mean-"
"SEE YOU, CHOSEN ONE! AND BE SURE TO BE TOTALLY TUBULAR FOR YOUR FRIENDS!" Helio did a T-pose, floating up into the air, as Kristen snapped out of her vision. Suddenly...She was holding a staff. A simple shepard's staff, but one made of light and....corn kernels made of light.
"THE STAFF OF CORN HAS BEEN BESTOWED UPON YOU, KRISTEN!" Aguefort maniacally laughed.
"What the hell's going on? Why is it all corn?" Fabian said, slashing through a Cutie.
"I don't know." Riz said.
"HELIO'S LIGHT! SCATTER!" The grandma said, as she ran from the group, alongside the few remaining Cuties...
Before Adaine hit her REALLY hard on the head with a ladle. Like, REALLY hard.
The grandma, quickly identified as the lunch lady, immediately fell over, knocked out, as the Corn Cuties dissipated.
"Wow. That was easy." Aguefort said, "And now, the least fun part."
"What happened to the lunch lady, Mr. Aguefort?" Adaine said.
"Well, she was corrupted by darkness, and possessed by an elder god. That good enough for you?"
"Did she just kill Cthulhu with a ladle, then?" Fig said.
"A really sturdy one, as well. Didn't even bend." Riz added.
"No, she didn't. She knocked out an old lady." Aguefort replied. "all the equipment is made from monster-slayer-grade silver, of course the ladle didn't bend."
"So...what do we do now?" Fabian said.
"You give me your weapons back. And you go home. Until you see any other monsters about."
"Wait, Mr. Aguefort." Kristen ran over to the vat of corn chowder, now empty.
For some reason, Kristen's book was there.
Unharmed.
Kristen eagerly snatched it up, as she ran back.
"How is it not complete mush by now?" Adaine said.
"I don't know! Another one of Helio's blessings!" Aguefort seemed to...wince at that mention of Helio.
"Does this count as a magic lesson, Mr. Aguefort?" Adaine said towards the principal.
"Y-Yes! I suppose it does. I didn't tell your parents about this, so just say that you all found a club or something like that." Aguefort quickly shook it off, as he talked.
"Can I say I did fencing?" Fabian said.
"We don't have fencing, but yes." Fabian and Riz dropped their weapons, as they left.
"MY DARLING BOY! You already have a sport?" Fabian's father said.
"Oh, of course, papa. This is just for Mondays, though. Might as well have a sport for every day." Fabian replied.
"THAT'S MY BOY!" Bill gave his son a pat on the back, as he started to open a safe.
"What's that, papa?" Fabian asked.
"This, my boy..." Fabian's dad handed him a sword. "Is the sword of the Seacaster family. Handed down to every generation. This sword has done great things, lad. And you...will be greater."
"Only natural, of course."
"Of course, my boy." The conversation gave out over it, crawling to a stop. Because Fabian stopped paying attention to his father.
He felt a kind of... deja vu upon seeing the sword.
He saw that sword before.
That was the one Aguefort gave to him, just a few hours ago.