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The god and the soldier danced to a song only they could hear. Follower Sword grunted as Stargazer Rocket slipped through his grasp once again as if he were made of smoke. Stargazer laughed, a deep chuckle that Follower had heard too many times to count, much to his ire. 

"My, my. Is the great Follower losing his touch? I thought you were quite the warrior. At least…you said you were," the masked god teased, his tone mocking and light. His suit flowed around him like a sea of indigo ink, small yellow and white stars glowing among the unnatural fabric. It looked like it was woven from the fabric of space itself.

"Shut your mouthpiece, blight,” Follower spat with all the poison he could muster. Usually his master would not condone this kind of speech, but he was not here now, and this pest was. 

Follower was unsure of how many times the strange god had found him and challenged him. He won each of their battles, of course, yet the god still returned, filled with determination as if he had never lost in the first place. Every time they’d meet, the god somehow knew he was alone, that his master had retired for the day and ceased his control over the hive mind of followers. Follower reported him to his master once, but his master claimed he had no knowledge of this strange god of stars and explosions. Follower insisted that he was real and even showed the injuries he had sustained to prove it, but he was dismissed from the solar before he could say another word. 

The god had transported them to the same place they always battled, a grassy field set upon a steep rocky cliff that looked out to the unending blue. 

The first time he brought them here, Stargazer inhaled deeply and sighed. “Isn’t it wonderful, my dear Follower? Even through time and space, this is still my favourite spot. And it’s even better with you,” he said wistfully, taking another breath.

Follower left him bruised and bleeding, his unclean god’s blood spilling onto the grass like a river of melted sapphires and liquid gold. 

This time was different. Stargazer had approached him slowly instead of engaging in a fight immediately, which Follower noted with unease. He did not know how far this god’s power went, and after his battles, he didn’t wish to know. Stargazer reached out his hand and caressed Follower’s face gently, the same way Follower had seen lovers do. Follower frowned and backed away, face scrunched in a mix of disgust and dismay. That damnable mask covered the god’s eyes still, and his lips were upturned in an amused smile.

“Listen my dear Follower, we have been through this cycle more than enough times, and I have seen things I can’t begin to describe. I was in a universe where I was dead and lost and forgotten. I was in a universe where we were together, and then apart, and then together again. I was in a universe where unspeakable things happened to me and you, and in a way, it was similar to us now, except we healed in that universe. We healed each other,” Stargazer said, in that infuriating dulcet voice Follower found himself missing some days.

The god looked down at his right arm, almost fondly. It was a scar from a battle long over, and while Follower had beaten him several times over, he couldn’t imagine who or what had had the strength or bravery – or foolishness, depending on how you looked at it – to completely take the forearm off. An odd, viscous substance had filled it in the shape of the lost limb. Black, dark navy, pink and deep purple swirled on the surface, dotted with shining specks of gold. It seemed to defy gravity and all natural laws Follower knew of, since despite its fragile appearance, the god could use it like it was his actual arm. Small blobs of it broke off and faded into thin air only for the area to be filled in again, as he waved it dismissively. 

He continued. “And I have seen what happens in this universe too. You and I will be stuck in this never ending cycle of defeat and triumph until I or your master sees it through. Illumina was it? A peculiar fellow, for an SFOTH. I’ve never met him myself though, much less see him in person. He spends a lot of his time in his chambers, doesn’t he? I don’t blame him, taking care of an entire base of followers sounds tiring.”

Follower wanted to grab ahold of the accursed god’s neck and squeeze it until the last of his immortal life poured out of his mouth, but did nothing. Instead, he said, “Don’t you dare say that again.” A warning.

Stargazer’s smile disappeared. “What? The follower thing? Oh, I didn’t mean to offend you. I was-”

“His name. Don’t you dare say his name again,” Follower repeated, half out of anger and half out of fear. He recalled the last time one of his fellow followers uttered their master’s name. The silence that descended on the grand hall was heavy as the ripped body lay on the floor in a pool of their own blood and strewn guts and viscera. Follower shivered internally, pushing the memory to the back of his mind. 

Stargazer raised an eyebrow. “Alright. I don’t want to step on your or his toes, after all. I want to make a deal.”

That caught Follower’s attention. “What?”

“I said,” Stargazer began. “I want to make a deal with you. One that may benefit the both of us, I might say.”

Follower frowned at him. “Benefit us how?”

The smile returned. “Ah, funny you should ask. You see, I know you want me gone, and I know what I want. So why don’t we fight for it? You win, and I’ll leave you alone. I win, and…well....” He trailed off.

“And…what?”

“I get to have you.”

The words were an arrow shot and lodged into his brain as he tried to understand what the god was implying. “What? You’ll…what?” He stammered, the words sinking into his mind. “No, no, no. That is…vile. Improper. This is a trick.”

Stargazer jutted his bottom lip like a petulant child. “Why?” Even his tone was imitating a child’s.

“Because I do not like you, god. You are nothing more than a being sent here to haunt me for reasons beyond my comprehension. You have done nothing but get in my way. What in the 7 layers of Crossroads will make me agree to that?”

“Because…” Stargazer said, lowering his voice and dipping his head until he was eye to eye with Follower. “...you want to be rid of me more than anything. I can feel the hatred in your aura, Follower. It cuts and burns and stings me oh so deeply, but I keep coming back. Cuts, burns, and stings all heal in due time, my dear Follower. And I have all the time I need.”

He started walking away, his footsteps silent against the soft soil and fresh grass. The sun was half hidden by the horizon, casting a stunning orange reflection in the shape of a column, rippling among the ocean’s waves. Somewhere past his vision, a bird cried. 

“I’ll do it,” Follower finally said.

Footsteps came back up to him. Stargazer’s grin appeared in his peripheral vision. “Wonderful. Let’s begin.”

He had emerged victorious over the god many times; what’s one more?

-

As Stargazer threw him close to the edge of the cliff, he found himself regretting his choice deeply. 

To his chagrin, the god had only been going easy on him in the past. He was also more powerful than Follower thought. He could disappear and reappear in a different location, akin to teleporting. Follower pointed out as much.

Stargazer waggled a finger. “No, my dear Follower. I’m more…clipping through time. You live a few hundred years and you can do some strange things. Watch.”

Follower couldn’t watch. He could barely watch his own feet as Stargazer opened a slit in the fabric of reality itself and sent small purple crystals flying toward him. He had worn nothing more than his helmet, a breastplate, pauldrons, and a pair of silver gauntlets he'd gotten as a reward, but they proved to be useless against the attacks Stargazer threw at him.

Instinctively, he unfurled his wings and took to the sky as the shards embedded into the soil where he once stood. If it were any other fight, he would keep them tucked and closed – he still had some decency not to cheat. His master would not have approved of him using his gift for such a trivial task, but he had no choice. 

The god gazed up at him, his bizarre clothes flapping in the wind blown by Follower’s wings. The grin never left his face. Follower would see to that eventually.

His namesake gear was gripped tightly in his right hand. Stargazer still watched from below, unmoving. Follower went high, tucked his wings in, narrowing his frame, and dived towards Stargazer, his sword pointed in front of his face. He squinted his eyes as the air sliced around his face and roared in his ears. Tears streamed down his cheeks. His injuries stung. He was ending this, here and now.

The sword went into the ground.

Follower lost his grip and tumbled across the grass, kicking up dirt and weeds. He grunted as the plates of his armour dug into his skin. He felt like a million fine needles were being stabbed into his limbs and torso. But it was worth it. The god was finally gone, defeated. No one was able to survive that…

“Tsk, tsk, Follower. I thought you were better than that.” Stargazer’s voice floated through the air, calm and breezy as a spring morning. He sounded like he barely fought at all. 

Follower raised his head, his joints groaning. The god was injured, no doubt – he walked with a limp in his step and angry purple welts were dotted on his pale skin. But the damned grin was still on his face, never leaving for even a second since Follower laid eyes upon him. The grin grew wider and the air around the god seemed to spark as he grew closer and closer to Follower’s body. Follower did not cower; he did not show weakness. This god did not deserve to see him at his lowest. His sword sat right where the cliff dropped off, where Stargazer once stood. Where he was supposed to be standing. The god must have teleported before the blade hit him. Follower cursed himself. How could he not have predicted that?

He sucked in a breath as his head was jerked upwards by a gloved hand, the silk cloth soft and smooth like fresh leaves. Stargazer was crouched so they’d both be at eye to eye, and Follower wanted to spit in his face. He could feel the god's eyes on him despite the mask, tracing him, examining him. It was nothing good. 

Stargazer sighed. “Did you really think you could take me out like that?” he asked, sardonic. The air around them crackled. “I don't know about you, but it seems like I…win.” His lip curled and Follower could see fangs sharper than his sword. His heart dropped to his stomach. He searched his mind frantically for what Stargazer said would happen if the god won. ‘I get to have you.’ he'd said. What could that possibly mean, only the ones above this pathetic excuse of a god knew.

Stargazer cocked his head. “Yes, I know, a pity in your case. But I can't deny, I am more pleased than you think.” He chuckled, a light blue flush creeping onto his cheeks. Follower did not wish to know what that could entail. He kept silent.

Stargazer continued. “Yes, I can feel you. Your pain, your shame, your fear. I can feel everything. It's both a curse and a blessing, though I've been around long enough to realize neither is real. Which…is why I’m only keeping you for one night.”

Follower shook his head. This cursed god and his cursed twists. “One?” He strained out. His throat felt like it was filled with sand. “One night?”

Stargazer nodded.

“I hate you.”

“Aww,” the god cooed in a childish voice. “Did you wish to spend more time with me, my dear Follower? Because I can arrange for that.”

“I'd rather not, blight. It is not honourable to fight an enemy who fights unfairly, much less spend time with them like partners,” he spat.

Stargazer put a gloved hand on his chest in mock offence. “Oh, I’m wounded! But it doesn’t matter anyway. You agreed to the deal, and I won. So now…” He gently caressed Follower’s face with a thumb. 

“You’re mine.”

He snapped his right hand, and the world went white.

–

Stargazer couldn't believe it. After all that he'd done, after all he’d endured, he finally had Follower. Here, in his arms. It took everything in him to not wag his tail in happiness.

He'd taken them somewhere in the dense woods that surrounded the cliff. Oh, how his heart fluttered when Follower was mesmerised by the way the leaves swayed, or by a stunning greater lophorina performing its dance, showing its stark black feathers in contrast to its iridescent blue crest. He giggled when Follower bobbled his head a little as the bird hopped from foot to foot. Follower immediately snapped his head back and sobered his face, a scowl descending on his features. Stargazer, in turn, put back the wry grin he always wore. He could say it was a mask he only adorned for Follower, but that’d be a lie. 

The mask was his second skin, his shield, his aegis. So no one could see what lay behind it.

The woods were dark and quiet, the three moons spotlights of quartz in the sky among sparkling clusters of stars. Stargazer looked up at them. Sure he danced and played and twirled with the stars in every universe he’d been to, but how he wished to admire them from the eyes of a mortal, living each day like it's your last and passing on, your duties fulfilled yet the sky still remained for others to revere. But it wasn't that way. He wasn't made that way. Stars burn and die, mortals live and breathe and love then fall into their graves. Stargazer watched them all fall, knowing that all of them could be him – should be him – yet none of them were. He was still here, watching, waiting, hoping. 

When he laid eyes on Follower, he was a star. He wanted to burn until there was nothing left of him. He'd seen the versions of him and Follower through the reality windows – cuts in the fabric of space that allowed one to view glimpses of other universes – and each broke a piece of his soul – if he even had one. At least he would be able to live aware that somewhere, somehow, they were together, bonded like planets to a star. Alas, in this universe, it was not to be. As badly and brightly he burned, he understood: he was an eternal nebula, destined to ignite and die and ignite again, destroying the unfortunate bodies of those who came too close. 

He didn't know why he was this way, or why Follower made him feel like he was set aflame. The fire engulfed him whole, swallowing every last piece of rationality. They were a stranger’s face he’d seen before, familiar, yet not quite able to place it. He had felt this before, but what or when exactly was before? He had came into this universe confused and disoriented, unsure of who he even was. There was no light he could follow, no hand to hold. Follower was his one light, and Stargazer was turning to ashes as he tried to get closer.

He was the god of stars, and the stars burn him alive.

Follower cleared his throat, snapping Stargazer from his trance. “Did you wish to simply gaze at the sky with me, god? I must admit, that was less than expected.” 

Oh, galaxies, his voice. If he could catch voices and put them in jars, he would. It was rough and gravelly, yet had a soothing baritone to it. He would have so many jars. So, so many. Throughout his past…no, he must not dwell on that now. All that matters is that Follower was here. With him. Alone.

He got up from his spot on a fallen moss-covered log and walked to Follower, whose gear was in its leather sheath. His horns glowed a pale lavender, a light red fade at their bases. Ancient floating symbols Stargazer couldn't read encircled in a bordered ring around one of them, glowing the same pale lavender. The work of Illumina, Stargazer guessed. He subconsciously reached up to touch them, and Follower backed away. 

“Don't you dare lay your fingers on me, god,” Follower warned. His aura sent a stab of pure hatred into Stargazer’s heart. He brushed it off.

“Our deal, my dear Follower. One night.” He held up a finger to punctuate his point. Follower huffed and begrudgingly stepped forward. Stargazer smiled. He ran his hands over the bright horns. Their surface was rough and jagged, like they had not been polished in a while. There were healed over cracks, smooth against his glove and liquid artificial skin. He delicately traced them, fingers finding themselves on Follower’s face and along the bumps and curves of his skin. His set cheekbones, the grisly scar that ran from his ear to his jaw, the small pin feathers that grew near the edges of his ears and chin. He let out a shaky sigh. Under normal circumstances, he would never get this close, but now that he is…he could feel himself alight. 

He almost didn’t notice the slight shudder in Follower’s breaths. 

Stargazer pulled his hands, concerned. “Are…are you alright, Follower?” 

Follower’s mouth twisted. “I can’t help but feel that we’ve been like this once. And my master…he…nothing good ever came when he was this way. Close. The others, they…I do not wish to discuss what happened to them.” His tone was solemn, and underneath, Stargazer could hear hints of fear, pure and unfiltered. 

Stargazer blinked. He hadn’t really inspected how Illumina treated his followers, but he assumed nothing too bad. He was wrong. 

“I'm sorry, Follower. I…didn't know that.”

Follower stoned his face. “I still hate you, god. Do not think one confession means anything.”

Stargazer dipped his head. Follower’s aura was a dense mix of repulsion, fear and anxiety. It danced on his skin like frost. 

“I understand,” Stargazer said. “Do you wish for me to proceed?”

Follower gazed downward and sighed. “I am nothing if not a demon of my word. I will handle myself, god.” 

“Alright, but please, do not hesitate to say anything if I am going too far.”

“I will keep that in mind. Do whatever you wish.”

With that, he cupped Follower’s face and did something he’d always wanted to do, but never could, trapped by the strings of fate and power.

He kissed him.

The fire in him raged as Follower gasped into his lips. He tasted of grass and soil and dew from his crash into the earth, of sweat and blood from his duties as Illumina’s servant. Stargazer relished in every bit he could get, and the star within kept burning him. 

Follower was stunned. His eyes were spheres of white as he pulled his lips away. Before Stargazer could step back to ask what was wrong, Follower kept him in place with a hand drawing circles on the small of his back. It was endearing and strangely relaxing, like he had done it many times before. This was…certainly unexpected. 

“Did I…overstep?” Stargazer asked tentatively. 

Follower inhaled deeply. “No, you did not. It’s just…a part of me felt like it was whole for a moment. I feel…strange. What am I feeling, god? What have you done?” 

“I have done nothing, Follower. If it helps, I feel the same.” An understatement, to say the least.

“I…Can you do that again?” Follower asked. Stargazer tittered. Follower had the bashful look of a newspawn asking their parents for a favour.

“Of course,” he said, smiling.

Stargazer leaned in once more and took in more of Follower. His warm breath, his cracked lips, the scars that could whisper stories of time and tales of tragic fates. He sought entry, though he did it slowly and gradually so as to not startle Follower. To his surprise, Follower let him in. Stargazer shivered in excitement. He felt the brush of feathers around him – Follower was covering them with his wings.

He dragged his tongue carefully along Follower’s sharp teeth, Follower doing the same. Stargazer nibbled on Follower’s bottom lip, making him gasp lightly. In return, Follower moved both his hands to Stargazer’s waist and pulled him in closer. Stargazer had his hands on Follower’s neck, feeling the stubble of his shaved head. The fire burned hot and bright, and Stargazer wanted nothing more than to walk into it. 

Their lips were locked in a fervent trade of kisses and bites, one of eternal longing and heat and want. So much want. The want for something more; the want to be something else besides god and soldier; the want to keep chasing in hopes of finding what they were looking for. Though deep in Stargazer's heart, he knew it couldn’t be true. What they were now was a memory long lost to time, a ghost of their own lives. 

Stargazer felt it all.

He deftly unclasped the bands of Follower’s gauntlets and let them fall. His pauldrons, helmet and coif followed, the riveted plates clanging and long crimson feathers flowing from the panache as they hit the ground. The breastplate was next, and Stargazer had to pause. He needed to know if Follower was alright. He withdrew, already missing the warmth of Follower’s lips, but that could wait. Follower looked at him, confusion painted clear as day on his face. 

“Do you require anything, god?” Follower asked. The ‘god’ had lost its poison.

“No, I…I need to ask you something,” he replied.

Follower tilted his head. “What is it?”

“Would you be alright with…removing your breastplate?” Stargazer asked, cringing slightly at his own request despite already taking off the rest of his light armour.

Follower raised his eyebrows. “Oh, I see. You removed my gauntlets, pauldrons and helmet; I don’t see why you can’t remove my breastplate as well. But wait, what do you wish to do with me, god?” Follower said, frowning.

A sly grin crept onto Stargazer’s lips. “You’ll see, my dear Follower.”

Follower sighed and did what he was told, undoing the straps at his shoulders and waist with Stargazer’s help. Stargazer wanted one more thing.

His heart was swimming as he said the words. “Would you be so kind to…take off your leather?”

Follower blushed, harder than Stargazer had ever seen him. His face was so red it reminded Stargazer of a hand-picked rose. “Wh-Why?” 

Stargazer lowered his eyes. “Is that too much to ask? I sincerely apologise.”

Follower raised his hands in front of him. “No, no. I was taken by shock is all. I agreed to the terms and so I must carry the weight of my actions.” 

Stargazer shook his head. Follower, ever the bigger man of honour. 

He watched in palpable silence as Follower stripped off the stiff brown material that lay beneath the armour, revealing a light grey tunic and roughspun pants. Yes, this will do. Stargazer thought, heart racing and thoughts scrambling.

Once the leather dropped, Stargazer instantly attacked Follower’s lips with more passion and fervour than before. Follower reciprocated in kind, calloused swordsman hands grasping at his neck and jaw. He felt Follower's hands work into his hair, dull claws scratching his scalp. Stargazer kissed him deeply, slipping his tongue into Follower’s mouth without a hitch. Follower nipped at his lips and tongue, causing Stargazer to groan softly. Hands went all over both their bodies, seeking purchase. Stargazer eventually settled on crossing his arms over Follower’s shoulders while Follower had an arm around Stargazer's waist and a hand on the side of Stargazer's head, rubbing his horns. 

After a while, Stargazer decided to switch it up. He retreated from Follower, much to the latter’s dismay. Follower audibly groaned. 

“Calm down, Follower. I'm not leaving so soon,” Stargazer assured wryly. He was particularly excited for what he was going to do next. He brought his head down to Follower's neck. For a second, he admired the way his muscles contracted and relaxed with each breath, the sheen of sweat on his skin. He had never gotten so close to a mortal, so to see the workings of one was a novelty to him. Stargazer couldn't stop the smile on his face as he watched Follower’s face scrunch from Stargazer’s licks to his neck. The taste of salt bloomed on his tongue. Follower shivered. 

“Is this too much for you?” Stargazer asked. 

Follower shook his head.

“Don’t be afraid to say anything, alright?”

Follower nodded.

“Okay.”

Stargazer bit down on Follower’s skin, hard enough to get a reaction, but not enough for it to break. Follower gasped. Stargazer immediately released his hold. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, worry seeping into his heart. He knew he shouldn’t have pushed, shouldn’t have tried. Now Follower-

“What’s wrong, god? Is my skin that…revolting?” Follower croaked out.

It was Stargazer's turn to be surprised. “You’re…not scared? Not appalled at my actions?” 

“Why would I be so?”

“You gasped and I thought…”

“My, you change quite a bit when you’re this close. I figured you were always certain of your moves and decisions, god,” Follower remarked, a lazy grin on his face. 

Stargazer raised an eyebrow. “Is that so? Well this move, I’m delighted to deliver.”

At those words, he bit down harder, drawing blood. Follower hissed but didn’t pull away. Stargazer sucked delicately on the wound and lapped the warm fluid that oozed out. It had the metallic tang of blood followed by an oddly sweet aftertaste. He looked at Follower, concerned, but Follower gave a reassuring nod. He slowly moved lower, leaving loving bluish purple marks along Follower's collarbone and shoulders. Follower let him, letting out a very uncharacteristic low whine. Stargazer, fuelled by Follower’s reaction, sought more. He lifted Follower’s tunic. 

The swordsman was of remarkable build, Stargazer must admit. Every length of him was corded in muscle and pink scar tissue. 

Stargazer couldn’t wait to taste it all. 

The air was hot and the woods were filled with the sounds of love and pleasure. Small gasps and moans echoed from god and soldier alike, their bodies and minds tangled in a fit of bliss. Small white streams of warm breath eddied in the air and dissipated. Both were too immersed in their throes to notice the descent of the moons past the tops of the trees. This exchange of familiarity, of recognition, was more than they could handle. Yet they accepted it, let it wash over them like rain.

At that moment, something hit Stargazer in the face. Something so obvious and clear since the beginning.

We were lovers, Stargazer realised with a start. Lovers drowned and lost to the unforgiving sea of time, nothing more than pieces of their love to cling onto amongst the waves. How both of them came to be this way, Stargazer still didn't know, but perhaps that was enough for him. The knowledge that they were once and been and probably never will again. No good would come of desperate husks trying to relive their hollowed lives. 

In the end, Stargazer was the god of stars, but a kiss would burn him to his core. 

–

The sun rose, coating all in its path in a shining layer of gold. A finger of sunlight cuts through the shadows of the trees and falls on Stargazer and Follower, rousing the latter. Follower sat up from his position next to Stargazer, stretching his wings. He looked down at the sleeping god next to him – he didn’t even know he could sleep. 

Stargazer was curled in on himself, star-studded tail wrapped around his lean frame. Soft snores emitted from his mouth. His suit was rumpled and stained with dirt and flowers. The stars in the cloth seemed to pulse light in time with the god’s breaths. His lips were swollen and bruises bloomed on the pale skin of his neck and jaw.

Follower recalled the previous night; how improper and impulsive they were. Flailing arms reaching out for the other, mouths intertwining like chainmail. His master would not like it. He would need to hide his bruises before arriving at morning call. But…he didn’t mind the bruises himself, to his awe. 

As he and Stargazer exchanged feverish kisses, he found himself floating. It was as if a part of him he did not know was broken was fixed. He had dedicated his entire existence to serving his master, yet somehow this god had made something change in him. When Stargazer laid his lips on him, he thought he would be appalled, disgusted. But he wasn’t. His mind emptied; the only thing he could focus on was the softness of Stargazer’s lips, the tenderness of the kiss. It spoke of experience and truth, truth of what, that Follower could never figure out. A warm feeling arose inside of him now whenever he laid eyes on the god. It was unwanted, but not unwelcome. This god was someone important to him, he knew. Why else would he feel such things? It was the knowing that bugged him. Who was this god to him? What were they? Who exactly were they to each other to prompt such a reaction?

A hoarse yet mellifluous voice sliced the chain of thoughts in his head. “Follower? Are you alright?”

Follower turned to see the masked god cross-legged, his hands resting on his knees. “I am fine, god,” he said curtly. “I need to-”

Stargazer raised a hand. “Yes, yes, I know. You need to return to your duties serving that master of yours.” 

Follower sniffed. “It appears your tone has returned. It is quite a shame, really, I quite preferred the way you talked last night.”

Stargazer hummed. “Last I remember, you barely spoke at all. Don't fret, I will keep it all close to my heart,” he said, patting his left breast with a gloved hand. 

Follower sputtered, heat flooding his cheeks. Stargazer chuckled, making Follower blush harder. He would rather not retain the memories of how he behaved when Stargazer sank his teeth into his flesh. It was painful, yes, but in a pleasurable manner. He wondered what it would take for the god to do it again.

He made his way to his strewn armour on the ground, shoving the thought away before it could spiral any further, and brushed the soil off the metal before adorning it. When he got to his breastplate however, he found himself unable to clasp the buckles. A hand suddenly placed itself on his shoulder. 

“Would you like some help, Follower?” Stargazer asked, leaning forwards.

He nodded.

Stargazer grabbed a strap and pulled, tightening it. Follower sucked in a breath as it pressed taut against his chest. 

“Oh, sorry,” Stargazer said, loosening it just enough to let Follower breathe.

They kept their silence as Stargazer fixed the second strap, unsure of what to say, especially after a night like that. The grass shimmered with dew, and the life of the wood have yet to arise. 

Follower donned his helmet. Somewhere in his heart, a tiny voice made itself known. Tell him, it said. Ask him if he feels the same. Follower silenced it. This god, no matter how Follower felt, was a distraction. And he had no room for distractions.

“Bring me back,” Follower instructed.

Stargazer stood beside him, ramrod straight, and snapped his fingers.

-

The day was exactly how Follower wanted it to be. His master conducted his daily sermons and sent Follower’s fellow brothers and sisters out on missions to carry his word to the far ends of the world. Follower joined them, his master’s voice echoing in his head. He raised his sword, his heart emptied of emotion as he cut down those who opposed his master. Blood marred his skin and armour, claws marks denting the metal. His master commanded him to drop the bodies into the sea, and so he did, wings beating the air.

But whenever his master's voice retreated, his mind wandered back to Stargazer. Always, always Stargazer. His masked face, his unnatural suit, his right arm. The way his moves seemed to flow seamlessly when they fought, his tender yet eager lips and hands, stroking him, clutching him. Follower hated it. He hated how the warm feeling kept returning every time Stargazer fleeted through his head. He hated how much he wanted to let himself fall into the god’s arms and let himself be. He hated the bruises.

By the time evening painted the sky in yellows and oranges, Follower came to a finality. He would ask the god.

-

Follower met Stargazer in a field outside the basilica of Illumina. By then the sun was gone, replaced by the moons. Stars twinkled and flashed in the indigo sky, the pattern akin to Stargazer’s suit. Milkweeds, camellias and carnations grew among the tall grass, chrysanthemums alongside them, announcing spring. The air was chilly and elsewhere, a wolf howled, a long, solitary cry. 

“I’m sure you’re wondering why we’re meeting here,” Stargazer said. 

Follower gave a stiff nod. The god had given him quite a scare when he appeared in his quarters out of nowhere. 

Stargazer sighed. “I’m afraid…I must depart from this universe.”

Those weren’t the words Follower was expecting. “What? Why?” His questions came by the dozen, but Stargazer put up a hand.

“My goal in this universe has been fulfilled. I finally found what I sought after, after all this time. I found you.”

He smiled sadly, and Follower thought he might collapse. These vague terms…he had enough.

“No.”

Stargazer’s eyebrow shot up. “I’m sorry?”

Follower’s head snapped to him. “I said, no. You are not leaving.”

“And why is that?”

“I…” Follower paused. Why was he refusing it? A week before, he would have laughed in his face, maybe made a snarky comment about how he hadn't left already, but the thought of him leaving was like a needle now, slowly pricking at him, bleeding him out. “I…don’t know.”

“You have many questions, I'm sure. You can ask me now.”

‘Many’ didn’t even begin to cover it. He thought for a moment. 

“What happened to your arm?”

Stargazer’s gaze drifted to the ground. He bent down and picked a carnation, its pink petals darkened in the starlight. He twirled its stem between his thumb and forefinger. The words came slowly. “When I first arrived, everything was wrong. My body, my mind, my heart. I could feel nothing within, like I was devoid of it all. I did not know how to control my powers then, and it clawed at me.”

He squeezed the stem, snapping it. “It drove me insane; and unlike you, I had no master to serve, no place to go. One day, I just…broke. Ripped it off myself, just to feel something, anything. I felt pain. It was new, relieving. But it was mine. I know I sound inane, but I had nothing to live for…and I have an eternity ahead of me.” 

Follower pondered over Stargazer’s response. He couldn't imagine what it was like during those days, cold, empty and confused. 

He asked again. “Why do you wear a mask?”

Stargazer smiled, gloved fingers tracing the rim. It was a masquerade mask, navy blue, lined with gold and flecked with sliver. Where there were supposed to be holes for the god’s eyes, there was tinted black film. “To that, I can't answer, for I don't know either. I have been this way since I gained consciousness, and I am unable to rid myself of it.”

Follower hid the disappointment in his voice. “I see.” 

He inhaled. This next question would not be easy to ask. 

“When we were…in the woods, I said I felt strange. It was a bizarre feeling. I felt like I was whole. But that doesn’t make sense. I never felt broken to begin with.” 

Stargazer picked another flower, a camellia the colour of a dawn-lit sky. “What is your question, Follower?”

Follower blinked. “Did you…feel the same?”

Stargazer giggled, sending heat into Follower’s cheeks. When he sobered, he grinned at Follower, a real, genuine smile. “I did. It was what I was looking for, I now realise. The feeling of you by my side, even if it is just once in this lifetime.”

The air grew heavy. “When will you return?”

“That is for fate to decide. If you call, I will listen...but I will not answer.”

A cold fire burned in Follower’s chest. “Why are you leaving?”

Stargazer paused. He picked up a chrysanthemum, white as the feathers of Follower’s wings. “Because…” he said softly. “I fear that this is what drove us apart. What broke the both of us. Our closeness to each other lead to our demise. It is better this way.”

Follower’s shoulders sagged and he diverted his gaze to the ground. It was for the best. Having the god around would only pull him further away from his duties – he'd experienced it first hand already. Without Stargazer, his life would return to normalcy. Wasn’t that what he wanted? Emotions were an unwelcome stranger to him, yet now they roiled in his head like a storm. At the eye of it, there was Stargazer.

Illumina would not approve.

His internal turmoil was stopped short by lips pressing against his. They were comforting and sweet. He tasted fire and blood, mint and flowers, the lingering promise of forever on the tip of his tongue. Stargazer pulled away, and for the first time, Follower saw past the film of his mask. His eyes were sky blue, slashed with silver at the edges of his irises, regret and longing sewn into them. A second later, and they were hidden once more. Follower wondered if he’d even seen them at all, or if it was simply the glint of the moonlight.

Stargazer’s stare seemed to bore holes into his skull. They were so close their chests almost touched. The distance felt so near, but step closer, and it was a gaping chasm, ready to swallow them whole. 

“Farewell, my cariad,” Stargazer whispered, sorrow dampening his voice. 

He snapped, and Stargazer was gone. 

The stars seemed to glow dimmer.

A bird cried.

Follower realised the flowers Stargazer picked never fell from his hands.

-

The air was silent and cold. Follower kept his wings wrapped around his body, hoping to stave off the chill. Winter had hit a week early. Sleet and ice covered the ground, making it too dangerous to walk on. It was worse at night, when the northern wind came with its icy claws, picking off the unfortunate ones who failed to fend off the frost. 

Follower stood against it anyway. He needed to get here, to this field. 

For the past 6 months he had been waiting, waiting as flowers bloomed and withered, leaves sprouted and fell, animals had families of their own and died, their cries carried by the breeze.

He waited, because it's all he could do.

The sky was diamond stars in black velvet. Dark grey clouds shielded one of the moons. A wolf howled, its pack joining it in solidarity. Follower watched as comets streaked the velvet, their tails bright and flowing like liquid platinum. They reminded him of Stargazer’s eyes. There, and then gone.

He let out a shaky breath and looked to the sky, his heart lead and eyes brimming with tears that froze on his cheeks. When he spoke, his voice was a thin, wavering whisper.

“My god of stars, where have you gone?”