Archive of Our Own ^beta

Leo let himself fall, his limbs limp as he let gravity do the work for him. 

A breeze brushed past his body, giving him one last gentle caress before he would be gone forever. His body for nature— Or, well, whatever that was down there to reclaim. He wishes he could appreciate the beauty of the world for one last time— One last time all over again. He wanted to discover the sky for the first time, he wanted to feel the taste of a cold ice cream on a hot summer day for the first time ever, he wanted to experience these things freshly all over again. He was ready to succumb, the decision had already been made. He wanted to let his fate accept him. Although, Leo was not too happy about dying on an empty stomach. 

Safe to say, he was thoroughly surprised when he crashed shell-first into salty water.

The slider let himself sink, hearing the agonising storm (when did that start?) from above fade away, water filling his eardrums. He hissed as his legs sank with him, wounds he thought had healed stinging when the salt in the water got into them. The cuts throbbed, he could probably measure his heart rate with how much so it did. 

He held his breath as he plummeted into the never-ending blue, the salty water stinging his wide open eyes, yet Leo refused to close them. It hurt him, he knew he could avoid it, yet he kept his eyes open. Leo deserved that, did he not? He deserved pain. The slider let himself sink, the light from above slowly fading as he was engulfed by the serene yet deathly expanse. The frigidity of the water cut through his skin, or was it really just how cold it was? Perhaps it had reopened already existing cuts, slicing through and bringing old memories up to the top of his brain, less than pleasant ones. Love them or hate them, he couldn’t ignore them. 

The slider opened his mouth to speak, only to choke on saline water. As salty as the tears he shed, not that anyone could tell in this situation. He had chugged down a whole bunch of the liquid, the liquid that pained him so. Yet, he didn’t want to stop. Why? He attempted to inhale sharply, a gallon of water entering through his nose. He grimaced as he felt it curl through his lungs, the cool a contrast to his warm body. His quickly warming up body— Why was he so warm? Was he catching a fever? 

His immune system was shit, wasn’t it. All those days he spent sick, blegh!  

Water in his lungs was not a great feeling.

But, something about letting go felt so good, felt so right. He would not drown forever, would he? He’d have to die at some point. Letting nature do it for him instead of doing it himself was definitely a Leo move. He was lazy, lazy as hell. And he was a coward, no matter how outgoing he presented himself as. He would always be a coward . The only reason he was “outgoing” was because he cared too much about everyone else’s opinion—

What was he, alone?

What is the sea without its depth? What made an ocean so special? It was just a body of water. It was only how vast it was that made it special, which was kind of pathetic, in Leo’s opinion. 

At least the sea was vast. What the fuck was Leo?

Why didn’t people just let him rot? Let him rot in peace where he knew for sure he wasn’t bothering anyone?

He felt bubbles brush over his arms, wincing when he felt his palms sting with the familiar sensation of the one that he recognised on his legs. And he hated it— These were parts of himself he had left behind, right? Parts of himself he— Didn’t want to see. They looked revolting! 

He was revolting! In more ways than one! 

His eyes opened again, properly. The light was even farther than before, his insides were still full of cold, saline water. He was alone. 

This was how Leon was going to die, wasn’t it? Cold, and alone. His body wouldn’t even be made a fuss over. Not that he expected to, anyway. 

“Oh, he just had to leave one last mess before he went.” that was what people would think. And Leo had come to accept this fact— Yet, every time he recalled it, it left an unpleasable ache in his heart, a gap that couldn’t even be sewn together. 

Although, the sea felt like a hug. 

An embrace of death. 

He could feel his heart rate slow down, his body almost fully waterlogged at this point.

If not any mortal, the sea had decided to keep him in its hold, until his very last breath. It accepted him with open arms, soon he would fall to the many others the water had hugged. 

Leo liked being held. He liked being hugged. 

His eyes slowly shut. 

That was too peaceful for what he deserved, but the sea was still holding him. As if it would protect him through his eternal slumber, until his body decayed, or was eaten by another being. Perhaps, then, it would be of some use. Satiating a poor creature’s hunger