Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

untitled chat 

Tuesday, 1:15pm

(Scott Summers has added 10 numbers to “untitled chat”.) 

(Scott Summers has named the chat “xavier’s poli sci!”) 

Scott Summers: Hi everyone, this is Scott from PS3196. This is the groupchat we were all talking about during class. Can everyone respond with their names so that we know who each number is? 

???: No problem! This is Jean 😊Thanks for organizing the groupchat, Scott! 

???: kurt here hiiiiii! 

???: Ororo. I look forward to working with you all this term.

???: logan 

???: hey y’all, this is anna-marie! thought i’d text with the accent so y’all can recognize me XD

???: I’m Hank 🤓Third year double major in Physics 🧪and Political Science 📘. Excited for this semester! 🎉

???: bobbyyyy can’t wait to panic over deadlines w u guys xo 

???: Warren Worthington III 👍

???: je m’appelle remy! 

???: BRO YOUR NAME IS REMY AND YOU’RE FRENCH??????

???: this is jubilee btw!!!!!! 

summers the bummer

(members: Bobby Drake and Scott Summers) 

Wednesday, 1:21pm 

iceicebaby: u made that chat so u could get jean’s number didn’t u

scottydoesntknow: Fuck off 

iceicebaby: that’s not a no!!!!! 

scottydoesntknow: I WILL block you again

iceicebaby: >:) 

xavier’s poli sci! 

Wednesday, 1:22pm

(Bobby Drake changed Scott Summers’s name to scottydoesntknow.) 

(Bobby Drake changed Bobby Drake’s name to iceicebaby.) 

Jubilee: NICE

(Jubilee changed Jubilee’s name to sparky.) 

Kurt Wagner: !!!

(Kurt Wagner changed Logan’s name to shortking.) 

(Logan changed Kurt Wagner’s name to kurtwanker.) 

kurtwanker: :(  

sparky: WAITTTTT 

(sparky changed Remy Le Beau’s name to remyratatouille.) 

remyratatouille: mon ami 

remyratatouille: i love it

sparky: YAYYYY 

Hank McCoy : I’m confused 🤔

sparky: dw!!! you’ll get your nickname soon!!! 

Hank McCoy: Sounds good! 😃👍

summers the bummer 

Wednesday, 1:27pm 

scottydoesntknow: BOBBY. 

iceicebaby: WHAT

iceicebaby: R U ALLERGIC TO FUN SCOTT

scottydoesntknow: This is a serious class! 

iceicebaby: ur just worried im embarrassing u 

scottydoesntknow: No, I just think nicknames like these are unprofessional in an academic setting

iceicebaby: oh my godddddd please schedule an appt to get that stick out of ur ass 

xavier’s poli sci! 

Wednesday, 1:28pm

Jean Grey: I love this 

(Jean Grey changed Jean Grey’s name to jncojean.) 

scottydoesntknow: Definitely agree. Good to remember we’re peers instead of businessmen. 

jncojean: Exactly!! 

summers the bummer 

Wednesday, 1:30pm 

iceicebaby: LMAOOOOOOO 

iceicebaby: YOU FUCKING SIMP 

iceicebaby: I CANT ADLFJSDLJSDLJDS YOU MET HER O N C E 

scottydoesntknow: I. Hate you

iceicebaby: but not the nicknames huh 

scottydoesntknow: Blocked

untitled chat

(members: Jubilee and Kurt Wagner) 

Wednesday, 2:03 pm 

Jubilee: heyyyy this is jubilee from poli sci!!! 

Kurt: omg hi!! 

Kurt: what’s up?? 

Jubilee: ok so here’s my thought

Jubilee: class without friends 🤢🤢🤢  

Jubilee: class with friends 🤩🤩🤩

Jubilee: soooooo do you wanna be poli sci buddies??? 

Kurt: ahhhhh ja!!!! i’d love that 

Kurt : we could have study sessions!! 

Jubilee: DUDEEEEEE 

(Jubilee changed the name of the chat to “academic weapons 🔥”) 

Jubilee: speaking of have you started the reading yet

Kurt: naur 

Jubilee: SLAYYYY me neither 🙏

gentlemen prefer twinks 

Wednesday, 2:03pm 

nepobaby: Obsessed with Scott asking for everyone’s names like he doesn’t know half of us already 

iceicebaby: REAL 

iceicebaby: wait i wanna shit talk with an audience gimme one sec

nepobaby: Werk etc 

barbershop quartet 

(members: Bobby Drake, Hank McCoy, Scott Summers, and Warren Worthington III) 

Wednesday, 2:04pm 

iceicebaby: everyone point at scott and laugh 

nepobaby: HAHAHAHAHHAHAA 👆

beastmode: 🤣🤣🤣

scottydoesntknow: 😐

beastmode: Wait, why are we laughing at Scott? 

iceicebaby: bc he’s a simp 

nepobaby: And a poser 

scottydoesntknow: GUYS???

nepobaby: Me when I pretend I don’t know anyone to get Jean’s number 

scottydoesntknow: STOP 

beastmode: Ah, I see. 

beastmode: Speaking of the chat, I wasn’t confused about the nicknames, I was confused as to why Bobby didn’t give Warren and I our nicknames! 😧

nepobaby: HEY YEAH 

nepobaby: TRAITOR 

iceicebaby: listen scott can’t pull off this ruse all by himself ok 

scottydoesntknow: Bobby istg 

iceicebaby: as far as jean is concerned we’ve never met 

scottydoesntknow: Oh my god

beastmode: That doesn’t seem wise…

nepobaby: But hear me out

nepobaby: It’s entertaining and I’m bored 

iceicebaby: this is why ur my favorite warwar 

nepobaby: NO. 

beastmode: Why not just ask her out, Scott? 

scottydoesntknow: I mean I’ve only met her once 

iceicebaby: and yet we’re here

scottydoesntknow: I’M JUST SAYING 

scottydoesntknow: I’m going to give it some more time to see if my initial feelings actually prove true

nepobaby: huh 

scottydoesntknow: Literally stfu Warren last time you went out with a guy you panicked after a week and told him things were moving too fast

scottydoesntknow: And you hadn’t even kissed

nepobaby: ALLEGEDLY ‼️

iceicebaby: yurrrr he’s got u there warry baby 

nepobaby: Worse somehow

beastmode: Scott has a point, but just because Warren has commitment issues doesn’t mean you, Scott, don’t have issues with trusting your feelings. 

iceicebaby: OH?????? 

scottydoesntknow: HANK???????

beastmode: Just ask her out and see what happens! It’s perfectly normal to have romantic and/or sexual feelings for a person after spending two hours with them in class. 

nepobaby: KLJSDFLKJDSLFDLSJF

scottydoesntknow: Except that’s INSANE behavior, Hank

scottydoesntknow: She’s going to think I’m a creep 

iceicebaby: well that’s a little far

scottydoesntknow: AND! It’s probably best at the start of the semester not to rush into a relationship

scottydoesntknow: I still don’t know what my course load is going to look like 

nepobaby: Babe…

beastmode: Those are valid reasons, but you and I both know you’re making excuses. 

beastmode: Not blaming you for that, of course. But I am concerned that you’ll keep making those excuses until we’ve graduated. 

iceicebaby: DAMN

scottydoesntknow: ….I hate it when you’re right

beastmode: So you hate me all the time? 

nepobaby: GO OFF 

iceicebaby: GET IT HANK 

scottydoesntknow: Tell you what

scottydoesntknow: I PROMISE 

scottydoesntknow: I will ask Jean out before November 

beastmode: Sounds good! 

nepobaby: ANDDDD if you don’t, you have to go back home with me for Christmas because I know damn well you don’t have plans and I refuse to be alone in that hellhole 

iceicebaby: AND! u have to go clubbing with me on november 1st as punishment

scottydoesntknow: …

scottydoesntknow: Fine

iceicebaby: YESSSSSSSS

iceicebaby: now that that’s over….hank bby can u come help me understand wtf is going on with this reading 😩😩😩

beastmode: I’m On my way! 

iceicebaby: i change my mind hank is my favorite

nepobaby: THIS IS SO SICK 

alleged furries 

(members: Kurt and Logan) 

Thursday, 9:36am 

kurtwanker: logan 

kurtwanker: logan 

kurtwanker: logannnnnnnn

kurtwanker: logan logan logan logan

10:09am 

kurtwanker: LOGAN 

kurtwanker: LOGI BEAR

shortking: what do you want kurt

kurtwanker: hello to you too 

kurtwanker: do you wanna come get coffee with jubilee and i??? 

shortking: who 

kurtwanker: from poli sci!! 

kurtwanker: with the bright yellow jacket 

shortking: oh 

kurtwanker: pleaseeeeee 

kurtwanker: i’ll buy you kombucha

shortking: very funny 

kurtwanker: hehehe

kurtwanker: whatever you want then 

shortking: sigh

shortking: yeah sure i’ll go

kurtwanker: WOOHOO you’re driving

shortking: excuse me 

set fire to the rain (adele) 

(members: Ororo Munroe and Jean Grey) 

Thursday, 11:14am 

jncojean: Hey! Feel like coffee at 11:30? 

orororoyourboat: Always

jncojean: Awesome! I can pick you up?? 

orororoyourboat: Sounds good! 

untitled chat

Thursday, 11:39am 

Jean Grey: Hey, it’s Jean from Xavier’s poli sci class! I’m here with Ororo, do you mind if we join your study session? 

Jean Grey: Totally cool if not, also! 

Logan: hey jean 

Logan: yeah go for it, I’ll grab some chairs

Jean Grey: Thank you sm! 

untitled chat 

Thursday, 5:02pm 

(Jubilee added 4 numbers to “untitled chat”.) 

(Jubilee named the chat “coffee gang ☕ 💪💪”)

(Jubilee changed their name to sparky) 

sparky: hey gworls 

sparky: pitching weekly coffee 👀👀👀

Kurt Wagner: JASSSSSSS

(Kurt Wagner changed their name to bamf) 

(Logan changed bamf’s name to kurtwanker) 

kurtwanker: can’t have shit in detroit

(kurtwanker changed Logan’s name to shortking) 

(Jean Grey changed their name to jncojean) 

(jncojean changed Ororo’s name to orororoyourboat) 

jncojean: I’m super down for weekly coffee! (And studying I assume) 

orororoyourboat: Nerd 

orororoyourboat: But yes absolutely, I had fun with you all today 

shortking: not gonna study every week but i’ll have coffee 

kurtwanker: not kombucha 🥺

shortking: i’m laughing so hard rn. 

orororoyourboat: BRUTAL  

sparky: waitttt what’s the deal with the kombucha logan 

jncojean: ^^^ 

kurtwanker: logan i see you typing don’t you DARE this is my story to tell 

sparky: oop

kurtwanker: ok so logan is a big beer fan right 

sparky: come on denver colorado coded 😩

kurtwanker: EXACTLY 

kurtwanker: but anyway we’re getting drinks one night and logan has an INSANELY high tolerance 

kurtwanker: so he leaves to go to the bathroom and while he’s gone. i pull out the kombucha i’ve had stowed away in my bag for the past two hours 

jncojean: Kurt what 😭

kurtwanker: it is lemon and ginger kombucha from the farmer’s market. it is vinegary. it is the gladiator in the arena against bad gut health 

orororoyourboat: Oh god

kurtwanker: and our lovely friend logan usually survives exclusively off of beers, beef jerky, and day-old room temperature water 

sparky: come on depression meal!!! 

shortking: 😐

kurtwanker: needless to say he cannot handle any flavor beyond the color brown 

kurtwanker: so while he’s in the bathroom i, LIKE A THIEF IN THE NIGHT, order an empty glass from the bartender and fill it with the kombucha

kurtwanker: and i hide the real beer under my seat 

jncojean: RISKY MOVE 

kurtwanker: oh my shoes were Wet 

kurtwanker: but it was a small price to pay for logan’s reaction 

kurtwanker: pure agony. the flames of hell across every inch of his face

kurtwanker: this man barely emotes but that day??? OH BOY DID HE 

shortking: IT HURT 

orororoyourboat: H o w 

shortking: it was so sour and so carbonated 

shortking: like being attacked by small angry lemons 

shortking: my tongue didn’t recover for a week 

jncojean: 😭😭😭

shortking: i now drink only from my own flask

shortking: kurt will never poison me again 

sparky: the dramatics 💀

orororoyourboat: I respect it honestly 

orororoyourboat: Though I am concerned for your gut health now 

jncojean: Same 

jncojean: Wait this gives me an idea!! 

jncojean: Each week we bring Logan a new food to try! 

sparky: YOOOOOOOOOOOO 

kurtwanker: jean you’re a genius

kurtwanker: JEANIUS 

orororoyourboat: Love 

(orororoyourboat changed jncojean’s name to jeanius) 

jeanius: Also Logan we don’t actually have to do that if you’re not comfortable, I just thought it would be fun! 

shortking: nah it’s no problem 

shortking: i’m fine eating nasty shit 

shortking: car pay diyum or whatever 

sparky: PARDON 

orororoyourboat: HELP 

shortking: what 

kurtwanker: LKJSDLFJSFLKSDJLFD LOGAN 

jeanius: I’m–

orororoyourboat: Logan, the phrase is carpe diem, it’s Latin 

shortking: oh 

alleged furries

Thursday, 5:15pm 

kurtwanker: ok are you upset and or embarrassed be fr 

shortking: no i’m fine

kurtwanker: logan 🔫

shortking: it’s a little embarrassing but i’m fine dw about it

kurtwanker: too late now be fr fr with me 

shortking: i don’t know where i heard carpe diem 

shortking: it’s just in my head 

shortking: so 

kurtwanker: i gotchu 

coffee gang ☕ 💪💪

Thursday, 5:20pm 

kurtwanker: okayyyyyy everyone be nice 🙄

kurtwanker: some of us went to public school 

kurtwanker: and some of us went to public school in germany

sparky: REAL 

sparky: my school didn’t even offer french like 💀

orororoyourboat: …To be honest I only know carpe diem because Jean made me watch Dead Poets’ Society 

sparky: SAME 

alleged furries 

Thursday, 5:21pm

shortking: you and i both know you were raised in a circus

kurtwanker: and that’s a secret i’ll never tell 

kurtwanker: xoxo 

shortking: gossip girl 

kurtwanker: JAAAAAA

untitled chat

Thursday, 5:22pm 

Jean Grey: Hey, I’m sorry we made fun of you for not knowing how to spell carpe diem 

Jean Grey: That was a shitty thing to do

Logan: nah dw about it 

Logan: i know you didn’t mean anything by it 

Jean Grey: Okay

Jean Grey: But lmk if you ever do get mad about it because I’ll repay you

Logan: ???

Jean Grey: You know through beer or something

Logan: ohhhh ok

Logan: thanks jean 

Jean Grey: Np! 

alleged furries 

Thursday, 5:26pm 

shortking: IMG.jpg 

kurtwanker: AWWW SHE’S SO NICE 

shortking: yeah 

kurtwanker: i love jean 

shortking: was that weird 

kurtwanker: wdym bestie

shortking: the repaying thing 

kurtwanker: i don’t think so???? if i had to guess i think she just has anxiety 

shortking: true 

kurtwanker: don’t stress about it logi bear 

shortking: ugh 

academic weapons 🔥

Thursday, 5:43pm 

(Jubilee changed Kurt Wagner’s name to “kombuchaassassin”)

(Jubilee changed their name to “kurtswetshoes”) 

kombuchaassassin: slay 

kombuchaassassin: also while we’re here 

kombuchaassassin: what are your thoughts on jean 

kurtswetshoes: ok first of all love the cryptic energy 

kurtswetshoes: second i love her!!! she’s so nice and friendly 

kurtswetshoes: why??

kombuchaassassin: she apologized to logan about the carpe diem thing and it was very nice

kurtswetshoes: aw legend! 

kombuchaassassin: but 

kombuchaassassin: she said she’d repay logan for being mean with “like a beer or something” 

kurtswetshoes: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

kurtswetshoes: i deffo see why we’re being cryptic now hehehehe

kurtswetshoes: do you think she likes him??? 

kombuchaassassin: idkkkkkkkkk 

kombuchaassassin: but i could see it 

kurtswetshoes: yeah i was also picking up on some Vibes from logan at coffee

kombuchaassassin: OKAY I’M SO GLAD YOU SAID IT BC I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING 

kurtswetshoes: YOOOO SAME BRAIN 

kombuchaassassin: obviously i don’t want to be planning or scheming yet bc it’s been A Day 

kurtswetshoes: right right we love self-control 

kombuchaassassin: exactly 😫

kombuchaassassin: but uh. petition to keep an eye on it

kurtswetshoes: SIGNED AND INITIALED

kombuchaassassin: JASSSSSSSSSS 

kurtswetshoes: GOSSIPS 4 LIFE 

kombuchaassassin: ALWAYS

barbershop quartet 

Thursday, 6:07pm 

nepobaby: GUESS WHO SAW JEAN AT WORK TODAY 

Chapter Text

barbershop quartet 

Thursday, September 14th, 6:09pm 

nepobaby: GUESS WHO SAW JEAN AT WORK TODAY 

iceicebaby: I SAID SAY MORE RIGHT NOW 

scottydoesntknow: Warren why do you even have a job aren’t you richer than god 

nepobaby: Says the man whose parents died in a private plane crash

iceicebaby: uh

beastmode: Warren, what the hell? 

scottydoesntknow: SHJBFHSTEGFM

scottydoesntknow: It’s fine guys don’t worry 

scottydoesntknow: Anyway you saw Jean? 

nepobaby: Oui oui mon ami 

iceicebaby: 🗣️ JE M’APPELLE LAFAYETTE ‼️ 🔥🔥🔥

scottydoesntknow: Die 

nepobaby: But yes she was there with some other people from poli sci 

iceicebaby: qui

beastmode: Why are we French now? 

iceicebaby: VIVE LA REVOLUTION 🇫🇷🇫🇷🇫🇷🥖🥖🥖

nepobaby: ANYWAY

nepobaby: I don’t remember their names but German guy, short guy, bright yellow jacket girl, and the punk-looking girl with white hair 

beastmode: So Kurt, Logan, Jubilee, and Ororo. 

scottydoesntknow: Oh nice 

scottydoesntknow: I like Ororo, she seems cool 

nepobaby: Mhmmm

nepobaby: And based on my superior people skills I’m 78% sure Ororo and Jean are friends and Kurt, Logan, and Jubilee are friends 

nepobaby: Also I think they all ran into each other by accident 

nepobaby: If I had to hazard a guess 

iceicebaby: ok bbc sherlock!!! 

scottydoesntknow: NO

beastmode: Traumatic. 

nepobaby: ANYWAY Scott my dear she ordered a blonde latte with 1 pump of mocha if you ever want to surprise her with coffee 

nepobaby: AFTER YOU’VE STARTED DATING. OBVIOUSLY

iceicebaby: can u imagine 

iceicebaby: hi jean here’s ur coffee 

iceicebaby: oh how do i miraculously know ur order????? uhhhhhhhh i’m. telepathic lol 😅😅😅

scottydoesntknow: …so ignoring that 

iceicebaby: WOW

scottydoesntknow: Thanks for the intel, Warren 

scottydoesntknow: I’ll probably never use it :D 

beastmode: WRONG. According to the pact you’ll likely use it before November. 🙃

scottydoesntknow: Ughhhhhh

beastmode: And hear me out here: you could go grab coffee next week around the same time from Warren’s workplace and say hi to her. That’s a great opportunity to bond so that you can get to know her better without the added pressure of it being a date. 

nepobaby: ^^^

iceicebaby: guys does hank….have rizz 

beastmode: More than you, Bobby. 

scottydoesntknow: OBLITERATED

nepobaby: Holy shit 

iceicebaby: …

iceicebaby: this house is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE 

sweatin like 2 sinners in church

(members: Remy LeBeau and Anna-Marie)  

Friday, September 15th, 5:01am 

sugah: salut ma chère

sugah: brunch at 10?? 🥐☕

8:13am 

chere: ofc bby! 💚💛

chere: but also why were you up at 5am my love

sugah: thinking of you 

chere: awww 

chere: now what was it actually. 

sugah: just couldn’t sleep 

chere: aw i’m sorry 

sugah: nah it’s alright, means i get to plan a date with you <3

chere: you’re so embarrassing 

2 best friends…they might kiss 

(members: Anna-Marie and Alison Blaire)

Friday, September 15th, 9:02am 

blossom: hey 

bubbles: hmm don’t like that 

bubbles: what’s wrong babes

blossom: it’s not a huge deal but 

blossom: remy texted me really early this morning 

blossom: and when i asked why he kinda avoided the question 

bubbles: uh oh 

blossom: it’s stupid but i’m worried he’s “working” again 

bubbles: you mean with the guild?? 

bubbles: and it’s not stupid, rogue 

blossom: yeah

blossom: and obviously idgaf about *what* he’s doing bc i’m not a cop 

blossom: but i am worried he’s gonna get himself hurt

bubbles: then tell him that 

blossom: it’s not that simple ali 

bubbles: it is 

bubbles: maybe he won’t quit but he will listen to you. he loves and respects you too much to ignore you and if he does i’ll beat his ass  

bubbles: just talk to him at brunch ok 

blossom: yeah 

blossom: ugh you’re right, i’ll talk to him 

bubbles: fantastic, love a communication moment 

blossom: thank you i appreciate it 

bubbles: always 

blossom: and if i text you after brunch and i didn’t talk to him, pls come knock some sense into me 

bubbles: my sworn duty 

fun-sized gang 

(members: Jubilee and Kitty Pryde) 

Friday, September 15th, 1:00pm 

starburst: yo 

kitkat: sup 

starburst: do you wanna come meet my new friend and i for lunch n talk shit abt ppl you don’t know 

kitkat: say less 

kitkat: pick me up in 20 

starburst: bet 

PS3196  

Dear all, 

I hope you are well and looking forward to the weekend as much as I am. 

For the Monday after next’s assignment, I’ve split you up into two groups of 4 and one group of 3. Please prepare a presentation discussing the recent Sokovia Accords, explaining them as though I were completely unfamiliar with the subject. This is just to help sharpen your public speaking and teamwork skills. Please do not stress! 

Groups are as follows: 

Hank McCoy, Remy LeBeau, Jubilation Lee, and Bobby Drake 

Anna-Marie, Ororo Munroe, Warren Worthington III, and Kurt Wagner

Scott Summers, Jean Grey, and Logan Howlett 

All the best, 

Charles Xavier 

(pronouns: he/him)

Professor of Political Science

Department of Social Sciences 

University of Westchester 

Office Hours: Thursdays 12:00–2:00pm 

academic weapons 🔥

Friday, September 15th, 5:01pm 

kombuchaassassin: JUBILATION????? 

kurtswetshoes: NO COMMENT 

barbershop quartet

Friday, September 15th, 5:07pm 

iceicebaby: TOGETHER FOREVER HANK 

iceicebaby: NOTHING COULD EVER COME BETWEEN US 

beastmode: I see you’ve seen Professor Xavier’s email. 

iceicebaby: BONDED BY FATE 

nepobaby: If we’re going to bring fate into the conversation…

nepobaby: @scottydoesntknow HOW ARE YOU FEELING 

iceicebaby: !!! 

scottydoesntknow: I’m on the bus home from the library what happened

beastmode: We have a group presentation due the Monday after next. 

nepobaby: But that’s not the relevant bit

nepobaby: You’re in a group with Jean!!!!!!! 

nepobaby: And the short guy but he’s been quiet in class so who cares

iceicebaby: the short guy 💀

scottydoesntknow: … 

iceicebaby: ok drama

scottydoesntknow: Is it weird that I’m smiling rn 

iceicebaby: AWWWWWW 

beastmode: Not weird at all! That’s very sweet. 

nepobaby: Scotty’s got a cruuuuuush 

scottydoesntknow: Stopppp

scottydoesntknow: I feel bad being excited about this 

scottydoesntknow: This is meant to be a serious group project, not a club night

scottydoesntknow: And I don’t want to flirt and then potentially make Jean feel uncomfortable in class bc she doesn’t feel the same 

iceicebaby: get this man some zoloft i am sick of your melodramatic ass 

beastmode: Bobby, that’s not productive. 

beastmode: Scott. It’s normal to have a crush on someone. It does not make you a bad person. 

nepobaby: ^^^

nepobaby: If anything, you being terrified of potentially making Jean uncomfortable or crossing a boundary just means you’re a very anxious, hyper-aware of Bad Outcomes, very good person

nepobaby: Bad people don’t worry about that kind of thing 

scottydoesntknow: That doesn’t seem right 

beastmode: Warren has a point, but I understand your anxieties. Just focus on getting home and try to take your mind off of it. We don’t want you spiraling. 

scottydoesntknow: But if I’m not thinking about it that means I don’t care about those boundaries

beastmode: That’s a compulsion, not the truth. Call me. 

scottydoesntknow: I’m fine you don’t need to call me 

beastmode: Too late. 

iceicebaby: …

iceicebaby: damn

nepobaby: Good lord

princess protection program

(members: Hank McCoy, Warren Worthington III, and Bobby Drake) 

Friday, September 15th, 5:54pm

beautynthebeast: Who else thinks we should kill the headmaster of Scott’s orphanage? 

barbiefairytopia: I’m in 

elsa: i’ll bring the shovel 

elsa: seriously tho is scott ok

beautynthebeast: He’ll be alright. It was a buildup of stress, I’d bet. 

beautynthebeast: Alex is apparently trying to transfer to our university, but his foster parents are threatening not to pay tuition if he does. I think that, as well as his difficulty in feeling anything but guilt for desiring someone romantically, caused him to spiral and panic. 

beautynthebeast: He said he was going to take a shower and watch a film, so hopefully everything will be alright and he’ll be back to his usual self soon. 

elsa: yeah 

elsa: thanks for checking on him hank

barbiefairytopia: Agreed 

barbiefairytopia: Though what did you mean by the orphanage thing??? Is everything ok there????

elsa: ^^^

beautynthebeast: Yes, he just spoke to me about how he was encouraged not to form close bonds with anyone, as the headmaster said he would never be adopted. 

barbiefairytopia: Jesus

elsa: well ig that explains the romantic panic 

barbiefairytopia: Fr 

daddy issues

(members: Scott Summers and Warren Worthington III) 

Friday, September 15th, 6:35pm

richierich: Hey man

richierich: Want to come to kickboxing with me tmrw? 

richierich: I’ll drive 

7:02pm 

lilorphanannie: Sure 

richierich: Cool, I’ll pick you up at 7:30am

lilorphanannie: Thanks 

the parent trap (1998)

(members: Jean Grey and Madelyne Pryor)

Friday, September 15th, 9:15pm

annie: OK NOW THAT YOU’RE OUT OF REHEARSAL I HAVE TERRIBLE NEWS

annie: OUR CLASS IS DOING A GROUP PROJECT 

hallie: jean this is lich rally a non issue you’ve been leading teams since before we knew we were related

hallie: i think you can handle a group project 

annie: No no I’m not worried about the group project part 

hallie: ???? then what’s the issue 

annie: I was GOING to tell you, but you rudely interrupted my dramatic reveal smh 

hallie: ohhh i see 

hallie: ok go again

annie: Thank you 😌

annie: TERRIBLE NEWS

hallie: WHAT

annie: OUR CLASS IS DOING A GROUP PROJECT

hallie: GASP

annie: AND I’M IN A GROUP W THE GUY I LIKE

hallie: OH FUCK

hallie: wait that IS terrible news

annie: I KNOW 

hallie: bc there is nothing that gives the ick more than a guy who can’t work as a team 

annie: I KNOW

hallie: SO THIS IS A TEST 

annie: I KNOW 

hallie: this is the guy you said looked like slenderman right 

annie: Maddie YOU said that 

hallie: that’s your own fault for saying he was tall and slender 

annie: 😑

annie: ANYWAY I’ve ALSO been grouped with coffee guy 

hallie: the guy you said looked like a tater tot??????

annie: AGAIN

annie: THAT WAS YOU 

hallie: and YOU described him as short and wide “in a muscly way” so whose fault is it really 

annie: Still yours x 

hallie: rude

hallie: i’m 100% with you tho this is horrific news and you WILL be keeping me updated 

annie: Obviously!!!

annie: Anyway how was rehearsal 

hallie: it was good, pretty standard

hallie: we ran through the opening number for the first time and let me tell you

hallie: the girl playing elle can SING 

hallie: which is to be expected obviously bc elle is a hard fucking part and they’re not gonna cast some quavery fresher

hallie: but STILL

hallie: AND she’s a natural blonde 

hallie: and she doesn’t even have the respect to have natural dishwater dirty blonde hair. oh no. 

hallie: miss ma’am is serving RAPUNZEL which personally i think is unfair

annie: If i didn’t know better I’d think you were jealous 

hallie: please

hallie: there’s no denying she’s good but she’s still a mezzo 

hallie: lord knows no one else in that cast can hit a high c but me 

annie: Why does everything have to be a competition 😭

hallie: how else would i motivate myself 

annie: Concerning!! 

hallie: maybe so

hallie: also i have a tech rehearsal from 9-5 tmrw but emma and i are gonna grab noodles & company after if you wanna join

annie: I’m down!

hallie: baller

hallie: bring ororo 

annie: Pourquoi

annie: Not that I’m against it but

hallie: i like her better than you

annie: Wow!!

set fire to the rain (adele)

Friday, September 15th, 9:47pm

jncojean: Noods & co w my sister and her situationship tmrw??

orororoyourboat: Absolutely

orororoyourboat: I never miss an opportunity to hang out with favorite redhead 

jncojean: WHAT 

orororoyourboat: Kidding <3

orororoyourboat: How *is* the Emma Situation lately?

jncojean: Last she talked to me about it she was drunk and crying to me on the bus abt not wanting Emma to see other ppl 

orororoyourboat: And now they’re getting dinner together??

jncojean: Yup

orororoyourboat: Gods

jncojean: Ikr 

jncojean : On the bright side, we’ll get to witness their drama up close and personal tmrw 

orororoyourboat: And we’ll debrief after??

jncojean: In the Dunkin parking lot as always 

orororoyourboat: Indubitably 😌😌😌

untitled chat

Friday, September 15th, 11:51pm 

Hank McCoy: Hey, this is Hank, Scott’s friend. 

Hank McCoy: I know it’s late and it’s not my place, but I wanted to check in. He told me it’s been difficult with your parents lately, and I just want to say that I am here if you need anything. 

11:57pm 

Alex Summers: Lmaooo I know who you are, Hank 

Alex Summers: Thank you though 

Alex Summers: It’s been really fuckin frustrating lately 

Alex Summers: My foster parents continue to hate Scott for no reason and it’s bullshit 

Alex Summers: And I want to get away from them but I can’t without their funds tbfh 

Alex Summers: Which is just

Alex Summers: Bleak 

Alex Summers: Anyway 

Alex Summers: Sorry for just. Dumping that on you when you barely know me lol

Hank McCoy: None of that, Alex. Any friend of Scott’s is a friend of yours, as far as I’m concerned. 

Alex Summers: Lol thanks

Alex Summers: Probs best to have as many ppl in my corner as possible right

Hank McCoy: Exactly my thought. 

Alex Summers: Yeah

Alex Summers: Anyway I’m gonna go to bed, but thanks 

Alex Summers: It. Really helped weirdly 

Hank McCoy: Anytime, Alex. 

Alex Summers: Night Hank

Hank McCoy: Goodnight! 🌖

2 best friends…they might kiss

Friday, September 15th, 11:59pm

bubbles: ok i gave you the whole day

bubbles: now

bubbles: how was brunch

Chapter Text

2 best friends…they might kiss

Friday, September 15th, 11:59pm

bubbles: ok i gave you the whole day

bubbles: now

bubbles: how was brunch

Saturday, September 16th, 8:46am

blossom: ahhh sorry i just woke up 

blossom: and brunch was good!! they had beignets which remy was vv excited about 

blossom: and ofc mimosas!!! 

bubbles: so true 

bubbles: but we both know that’s not what i was asking

blossom: don’t be mad 

bubbles: rogue. 

blossom: OKAY FINE I DIDN’T ASK HIM 

bubbles: ANNA MARIE LASTNAME 

blossom: I KNOW I KNOW BUT LIKE 

blossom: it’s not like he even likes working for them so i didn’t want to make it worse by asking him abt a situation he’s probably not even happy in 

bubbles: bullshit

bubbles: i get that but you have GOT to communicate with your boyfriend 

bubbles: they don’t call it the key to healthy relationships for nothing

blossom: listen i KNOW okay 

blossom: i just. idk it’s scary and i don’t want to fuck up our relationship 

blossom: we’ve barely even been dating for a year 

bubbles: i know this and i love you but rogue i promise you it is not that hard 

blossom: you haven’t even been in a relationship ali 

blossom: no offense but how would you know 

bubbles: ok first of all damn 

bubbles: don’t get mad at me for trying to knock some sense into you as you ASKED ME TO 

bubbles: and second of all 

bubbles: i’ll prove it to you 

blossom: what

9:08am 

blossom: ALISON 

and your friend steve 

(members: Alison Blaire and Remy LeBeau)

Friday, September 16th, 8:57am 

bagel: ur giving me agita

beignet: ??? pourquoi

bagel: PARCE QUE are you working for the guild again bc rogue is stressed and that means i am too

beignet: who told you that

bagel: common sense 

bagel: now tell me the truth

beignet: yeah 

beignet: i think you could single handedly take down the entire south

beignet: this is the least passive aggressive conversation i’ve ever had

bagel: thanks now get on with it 

beignet: ok ok 

beignet: apparently they have information on my parents 

beignet: i’ll talk to rogue 

bagel: good. 

sweatin like 2 sinners in church

Friday, September 16th, 10:34am

sugah: i’m outside ma chère 😽 

chere: um

2 best friends…they might kiss 

Friday, September 16th, 10:34am 

blossom: WHAT DID YOU DO 

untitled chat

(members: Jean Grey and Logan) 

Friday, September 16th, 10:45am 

Jean Grey: Hi! Glad to be in a group with you 😊Do you have any preference for who makes the gc? 

Logan: nah 

Logan: tbh i expected the boy scout to do it

Jean Grey: Scott? 

Logan: yeah 

Logan: seems like his thing 

Jean Grey: Yeah you’re right, it does

Jean Grey: I hope he’s okay!! 

Jean Grey: I’ll go ahead and make the chat then xx 

Logan: thanks 

untitled chat

(members: Jean Grey, Scott Summers, and Logan) 

Friday, September 16th, 10:51am 

(Jean Grey has named the chat “group project!”) 

Jean Grey: Hi guys! Here’s the chat for our group project on the Sokovia Accords 👍When are you guys available? 

Logan: i’m open basically whenever except for tuesdays and thursdays 

Logan: weekends i’m usually being dragged somewhere by kurt but it shouldn’t be a problem 

princess protection program

Friday, September 16th, 11:02am 

barbiefairytopia: Ok just got back from post-kickboxing Jamba Juice 

barbiefairytopia: I brought Scott along bc he’s one of those freaks who feels better after they exercise 

beautynthebeast: That’s how endorphins work, Warren. They make everyone feel better after exercise. 

elsa: speak for urself all i feel is sweat and regret

barbiefairytopia: N E WAY Scott seems a LOT better not just bc of exercise but ALSO…

elsa: omg is this a dramatic reveal 

barbiefairytopia: HE SPARRED WITH SHORT GUY FROM POLI SCI 

elsa: WHAT 

beautynthebeast: He fought Logan?!?!!?!!? 

barbiefairytopia: Only in the context of it being a sparring match obviously they don’t actually hate each other yet 

beautynthebeast: Yet??? 

elsa: YET???? 

barbiefairytopia: YEAH OKAY SO THIS IS WHERE IT GETS SPICY 

beautynthebeast: I hope to god you don’t mean spicy as in booktok spicy. 

barbiefairytopia: Oh Christ no 

barbiefairytopia: Though honestly I could see it 

barbiefairytopia: NO they were like. Taunting each other while sparring

barbiefairytopia: And short guy was throwing BARBS 

elsa: receipts or it didn’t happen 

barbiefairytopia: He kept calling him “boy scout” kljdsfljsldjflsdjf

barbiefairtytopia: I gotchu Bobby baby 

barbiefairytopia: chihuahuafightsgreatdane.jpg  

elsa: LMAOOOOOOOOOOO 

beautynthebeast: Wait a minute, I’ve just remembered a crucial detail. 

barbiefairytopia: Oh???

beautynthebeast: Logan (or short guy, as you call him) is one of his partners for the group project. 

elsa: OH SHIT 

barbiefairytopia: BLOODY FUCKING HELL 

group project! 

Friday, September 16th, 11:03am 

Scott Summers: Sorry for the late response, I just got back from grabbing smoothies with my friend 

Scott Summers: I should be open most days of the week except for Tuesdays and Fridays. I also have extracurriculars on Wednesdays after 6pm, but other than that I should be free 

(Logan changed Scott Summers’ name to “boyscout”)

Logan: smoothies huh

Logan: so you needed to treat yourself after i kicked your ass 

boyscout: More of a celebratory smoothie, actually 

boyscout: For my victory over you 

(boyscout changed Logan’s name to “loser”) 

loser: oh c’mon you can be more creative than that 

boyscout: You’re right 

(boyscout changed loser’s name to “pipsqueak”) 

pipsqueak: if we’re going by that

(pipsqueak changed boyscout’s name to “slim”) 

pipsqueak: now i get why you needed a smoothie

pipsqueak: you look like you’d get knocked over by a light breeze

slim: And yet, you couldn’t knock me over

pipsqueak: i was going easy on you 

slim: Asking for a rematch? 

pipsqueak: why not 

pipsqueak: any chance to knock you on your ass i’ll take 

Jean Grey: Um

Jean Grey: What is happening? 

barbershop quartet

Friday, September 16th, 11:13am 

scottydoesntknow: EMERGENCY 

scottydoesntknow: screenshot.jpg

princess protection program 

Friday, September 16th, 11:13am 

elsa: OK WAIT BEFORE WE ALL HELP SCOTT 

elsa: can we agree that was gay as hell 

beautynthebeast: Absolutely. 

barbiefairytopia: Never seen anything more homoerotic in my life

elsa: ok fire back to our regularly scheduled programming 

barbershop quartet

Friday, September 16th, 11:14am

iceicebaby: LJSDLFJSD:LFJ:SDJF:LSD SCOTT 

nepobaby: HELP 

beastmode: Poor Jean. 

scottydoesntknow: MY LIFE IS OVER 

scottydoesntknow: I CANNOT BELIEVE I JUST RESORTED TO SCHOOLYARD INSULTS

scottydoesntknow: IN FRONT OF JEAN 

scottydoesntknow: IN BASICALLY OUR FIRST INTERACTION WITH ONE ANOTHER 

scottydoesntknow: KILL ME 

alleged furries

Friday, September 16th, 11:13am

shortking: yknow the tall wonder bread boy scout type in poli sci

kurtwanker: ja???

kurtwanker: isn’t he in your group

shortking: i fought him in kickboxing today

shortking: screenshot.jpg

kurtwanker: WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

set fire to the rain (adele)

Friday, September 16th, 11:13am

jncojean: screenshot.jpg

jncojean: HELP

orororoyourboat: …

orororoyourboat: Are they flirting or fighting 

jncojean: RIGHT

barbershop quartet

Friday, September 16th, 11:15am

iceicebaby: I’M CRYING WHY DID YOU ENGAGE 

iceicebaby: AND WHY IS HE SUCH A DICK

princess protection program

Friday, September 16th, 11:15am

elsa: a hot dick just to be clear 

barbiefairytopia: BOBBY

beautynthebeast: Oh my god.

the parent trap (1998)

Friday, September 16th, 11:15am

annie: I have major slenderman and tater tot news for you at dinner

hallie: holy shit can’t wait

barbershop quartet

Friday, September 16th, 11:16am 

scottydoesntknow: I DON’T KNOW WHY I ENGAGED

scottydoesntknow: We were razzing each other like that during kickboxing and he started it up again so clearly he thinks that’s just our dynamic now???? 

iceicebaby: who still says razzing

beastmode: To be fair, Scott, you did razz him back in the groupchat. 

iceicebaby: ig hank still says razzing

nepobaby: Did you ever explain that you were kickboxing or does Jean just think you were fistfighting???? 

princess protection program

Friday, September 16th, 11:16am

elsa: or fisting

barbiefairytopia: ROBERT

barbershop quartet

Friday, September 16th, 11:17am 

scottydoesntknow: Christ on a fucking bike she totally thinks we were fighting 

beastmode: Oh my stars and garters. 

beastmode: This is a Situation with a capital S! 

nepobaby: You know it’s serious when Hank pulls out the capital letters

scottydoesntknow: What do I do what do I do ahhhhhhhhh

iceicebaby: AHHHHHH I DONT KNOW TELL HER ABOUT KICKBOXING 

scottydoesntknow: AND HAVE HER THINK I’M A TESTOSTERONE-ADDLED MUSCLEHEAD????

iceicebaby: GEZUNDHEIT!!! 

academic weapons 🔥

Friday, September 16th, 11:18am 

kombuchaassassin: update on the logan and jean situation 

kombuchaassassin: screenshot.jpg

kombuchaassassin: a new challenger approaches  

kurtswetshoes: BRO?????

barbershop quartet

Friday, September 16th, 11:18am

beastmode: Alright, alright. Everyone stay calm.

nepobaby: What’s the procedure everyone, what’s the procedure

iceicebaby: STAY FUCKING CALM

scottydoesntknow: GUYS

nepobaby: Sorry

beastmode: Okay okay okay. This is what we’re going to do. Warren, do you have any photos of them kickboxing??

nepobaby: What do you take me for 

nepobaby: shortguyvslongguy.jpg

beastmode: Okay, fantastic. Scott, send that with an lol or XD and explain that you were kickboxing. 

scottydoesntknow: Ok but what about the razzing

beastmode: The priority here is keeping her from thinking you were beating each other to bloody pulps. 

scottydoesntknow: True

beastmode: Hopefully she’ll assume that the razzing is friendly banter. 

scottydoesntknow: I would never be friends with him but yes good plan

scottydoesntknow: Hoooo okay I can do this 

nepobaby: You got this babes

scottydoesntknow: Thanks warwar

nepobaby: This CANNOT become a thing

group project! 

Friday, September 16th, 11:21am

slim: Sorry for the confusion, Jean!

slim: shortguyvslongguy.jpg

slim: We were just kickboxing, lol XD 

pipsqueak: damn i look great in this 

Jean Grey: Ohhhh ok haha

Jean Grey: So you guys are friends??

slim: Not exactly

pipsqueak: i’d rather die

slim: Just sparring partners 

pipsqueak: well

pipsqueak: partners implies we’re equally matched

Jean Grey: Oh cool! My friend Ororo and I usually do kickboxing on Monday mornings, so I guess we’ll end up seeing each other around!! 

Jean Grey: Outside of the project, I mean

pipsqueak: cool you’ll have a front row seat to me kicking slim’s ass

slim: Sorry, is it Opposite Day? 

set fire to the rain (adele)

Friday, September 16th, 11:24am

jncojean: Scott just used Opposite Day as a roast and I found it endearing 

jncojean: Wtf is wrong with me 😭😭😭

orororoyourboat: Oh you’re GONE gone 

orororoyourboat: There’s no saving you now

jncojean: This is humiliating 

group project! 

Friday, September 16th, 11:26am 

pipsqueak: opposite day????

pipsqueak: are you five 

slim: No, that’s you 

slim: 5/10 I mean 

slim: Or maybe just 5 foot exactly 

pipsqueak: sure sure

pipsqueak: and that’s the length of your neck right 

pipsqueak: you look like the beanstalk jack climbed 

slim: Thinking about climbing me already? 

Jean Grey: OKAY 

Jean Grey: I’m glad you guys get along but!!!! Let’s get back on track

Jean Grey: I’m thinking we can do Wednesday afternoon? Since none of us are busy then 

slim: Sounds good! Where at? 

pipsqueak: how about that coffee shop we hung out in a few days ago jeannie

Jean Grey: That works for me! 

(pipsqueak changed Jean Grey’s name to “jeannie”) 

slim: Great

slim: Just make sure to send the address so that Logan doesn’t get lost

slim: I know navigation takes a lot of brainpower 

pipsqueak: quoting from the boy scout manual??? 

jeannie: SO we’ll meet at Coffee-a-Go-Go on Wednesday at 2pm!!!! 

barbershop quartet

Friday, September 16th, 11:30am 

scottydoesntknow: It got worse

scottydoesntknow: screenshot2.jpg

nepobaby: I’m–

beastmode: What is wrong with you???? 

iceicebaby: “THINKING ABOUT CLIMBING ME ALREADY”???????? H E L L O ?????????

alleged furries 

Friday, September 16th, 11:30am 

shortking: screenshot2.jpg

kurtwanker: l o g a n 

shortking: i know

shortking: he sucks 

kurtwanker: oh mein fucking gott

kurtwanker: i can’t with you

untitled chat

Friday, September 16th, 11:31am 

(Hank McCoy changed the name of the chat to “your brother is an idiot”) 

Hank McCoy: screenshot.jpg

Hank McCoy: screenshot2.jpg

Hank McCoy: In case you wonder what Scott is up to in Westchester.

12:02am

Alex Summers: I JUST CHOKED ON MY WATER IN CLASS 

Chapter Text

your brother is an idiot 

Friday, September 16th, 5:02pm 

Alex Summers: Ugh

Alex Summers: I just bombed my chem test 

Alex Summers: For like. The fourth fucking time 

Hank McCoy: I’m sorry. That must be frustrating! 

Alex Summers: Yeah especially when I studied so hard for this one that I felt like my eyes were gonna fall out of my skull 

Alex Summers: Like how am I so bad at this

Hank McCoy: Hey. 

Hank McCoy: It’s not that you’re bad at it. It’s more likely that however you’re studying isn’t effective for your learning style. 

Hank McCoy: It’s very normal, trust me. I work as a part-time science tutor for the university, and I see this all the time. 

Alex Summers: Oh??

Alex Summers: What kind of science

Hank McCoy: All kinds! 

Alex Summers: Goddamn

Alex Summers: Scott said you were a genius but holy shit

Alex Summers: Which science is your favorite?? 

Hank McCoy: Ooh, that’s hard. I’m obligated to say Physics, as it’s one of my majors, but I’m also very intrigued by Biochemical Engineering. It could do so much good for so many people, not to mention animals. 

Alex Summers: Why’d you choose physics then? 

Hank McCoy: I suppose I like the idea of momentum. 

Hank McCoy: Moving forward and learning how the world works so that I can help the world better in the future. 

Alex Summers: Wow

Alex Summers: You’re a hardcore nerd huh

Hank McCoy: I get that a lot. 

Alex Summers: It’s not a bad thing 

Alex Summers: It’s really cool actually 

Alex Summers:  Kind of wish I was there so you could show me what you’re passionate about 

Hank McCoy: Oh. 

Hank McCoy: Thank you, Alex. That’s very kind. 

Hank McCoy: I’m used to being made fun of for it, so this is a welcome surprise. 

Alex Summers: Lucky I’m great at surprises 

Alex Summers: Speaking of 

Alex Summers: Will you tutor me in chem?? I could use your ✨nerdy expertise ✨

Alex Summers: And I’d pay you obviously

Hank McCoy: No need for that. 

Hank McCoy: I don’t charge friends. 

Alex Summers: Good, cause I’m gonna need a lot of fuckin help 

Hank McCoy: You can take up as much of my time as you like. 

set fire to the rain (adele) 

Friday, September 16th, 7:14pm 

orororoyourboat: I’m going to punch Emma so hard she disintegrates

orororoyourboat: Ben Kenobi style 

jncojean: Tbh I’m considering it too 

orororoyourboat: Where does she get off calling you a prissy goody two shoes 

orororoyourboat: And in front of your sister???? 

jncojean: Yeahhhhhh 

jncojean: On the bright side, I’m proud of Mads for defending me 

orororoyourboat: That’s true 

orororoyourboat: But frankly I don’t understand how she could ever be attracted to someone who’s so happily cruel to others

jncojean: Right??

jncojean: She deserves better 

orororoyourboat: She seems to see that as well 

orororoyourboat: Based off the fact that she looks like she’s about to explode 

jncojean: Yeah I’m guessing we’ve got about 5 minutes before we have to dip 

jncojean: Emma can pay the bill 

orororoyourboat: AS SHE DESERVES 

femininomenon

Friday, September 16th, 7:56pm

goblindeeznuts: what the hell is wrong with you 

goblindeeznuts: jean is my sister 

frostythesnowbitch: And? 

frostythesnowbitch: I thought little miss perfect would benefit from being taken down a peg 

goblindeeznuts: you don’t even know her

frostythesnowbitch: I know what you’ve told me 

goblindeeznuts: is this about high school????? THREE years ago???? 

goblindeeznuts: fucking hell emma 

frostythesnowbitch: I was trying to defend you. 

frostythesnowbitch: I don’t understand why you’re so upset

goblindeeznuts: HOW? 

goblindeeznuts: jean and i are finally in a good place again and you KNOW that

goblindeeznuts: jesus christ i thought you were smart 

frostythesnowbitch: I am smart. 

goblindeeznuts: really??? bc only the world’s biggest idiot wouldn’t understand why i want you to be nice to my sister 

frostythesnowbitch: Or maybe I don’t understand because being nice to your sister isn’t usually a requirement for a fuckbuddy. 

goblindeeznuts: right. 

goblindeeznuts: i guess i thought you’d have to care about me and my life at least a little bit to keep sleeping with me 

goblindeeznuts: my mistake

frostythesnowbitch: And I thought you knew what you were getting into. 

goblindeeznuts: you know what 

goblindeeznuts: we’re done.

frostythesnowbitch: Are you serious?? 

9:13pm

frostythesnowbitch: Maddie. Don’t be stupid. 

10:27pm

frostythesnowbitch: Hello? 

11:04pm

frostythesnowbitch: Fine. 

the parent trap (1998) 

Saturday, September 17th, 10:35am 

hallie: not to be dramatic or anything but are you free today 

annie: What happened? 

hallie: i dumped emma 

hallie: well. as much as you can dump someone when you’re not dating

annie: I’m so sorry

hallie: it’s fine

hallie: can we just hang out and pretend like there’s no way either of us saw this coming 

annie: Of course <3

annie: Let’s grab a Jamba Juice and rant in the park?? 

hallie: sounds good 

untitled chat 

Saturday, September 17th, 5:02pm 

Scott Summers: Hey, this is Scott from the group project! I just wanted to apologize  for Logan and I’s razzing yesterday. 

Sunday, September 18th, 8:34am 

Jean Grey: Hi Scott!! No need to apologize, I’m mostly just curious lol

Jean Grey: Sorry for the late reply, my sister was having a rough day 

Scott Summers: Oh no, is she okay? 

Jean Grey: She will be, just had a messy breakup 

Scott Summers: Shit, those are never fun 

Scott Summers: Sending her imaginary ice cream 🍨

Jean Grey: I’ll let her know haha

Jean Grey: In her own words, “never sleep with a bitchy assistant director” 

Scott Summers: I’ll keep that in mind 

Scott Summers: And hopefully there are no messy breakups in your future either 

Jean Grey: Dw that’s pretty unlikely

Jean Grey: Hard to go through a messy breakup when you’re not dating anyone! 

barbershop quartet

Sunday, September 18th, 8:37am 

scottydoesntknow: screenshot.jpg

scottydoesntknow: WAS THIS TOO OBVIOUS 

set fire to the rain (adele) 

Sunday, September 18th, 8:37am 

jncojean: screenshot.jpg

jncojean: HELP IS IT TOO OBVIOUS I LIKE HIM 

orororoyourboat: You’re about as subtle as a brick to the head xoxo

jncojean: NOOO

orororoyourboat: IT’S ALRIGHT JUST CHANGE THE SUBJECT SO HE DOESN’T NOTICE

jncojean: ON IT 

barbershop quartet

Sunday, September 18th, 8:38am

iceicebaby: ZOINKS

iceicebaby: jk it’s not the worst transition I’ve ever seen 

nepobaby: Also she didn’t seem to notice, so you should be fine 

beastmode: Best of all: we now know she isn’t dating anyone. 

iceicebaby: TRUE CONGRATS BABE 

scottydoesntknow: Not your babe!!

nepobaby: Pretty sure that’s on a t-shirt

untitled chat

Sunday, September 18th, 8:40am

Jean Grey: Anyway, what’s up with you and Logan?? I can’t tell if you’re best friends or worst enemies lol

Scott Summers: We’re mostly strangers actually 

Scott Summers: Our first full conversation was at kickboxing 

Jean Grey: Wait really???

Jean Grey: With the way you were teasing each other I assumed that was an established thing in your friendship tbh

Scott Summers: Yeah it’s. Interesting lol

Scott Summers: He started razzing me while sparring so ig that’s just our dynamic now???

Jean Grey: Does it bother you? I know I’m not a huge fan of being teased like that

Scott Summers: To be honest I’m not sure 

Scott Summers: It’s irritating but also a fun sort of irritating 

Scott Summers: Does that make sense?

Jean Grey: For sure!

set fire to the rain (adele) 

Sunday, September 18th, 8:44am

jncojean: Update I think Scott has a crush on Logan

jncojean: But also I don’t think he knows that yet

jncojean: Nevertheless my chances are now null

orororoyourboat: Consider: they’re not

orororoyourboat: You’re poly tbf 

orororoyourboat: Scott could be too 

jncojean: …This is true 

jncojean: Still not super likely tho, so I’m not going to hold out a ton of hope 

orororoyourboat: Boooooo be an optimist not a realist 

jncojean: Imagine

the parent trap (1998) 

Sunday, September 18th, 8:46am 

annie: screenshot.jpg

annie: Thoughts? 

hallie: first off: what a twist

hallie: second off: this is an EASY fix 

hallie: just make scott fall for you first

annie: Expand and explain

hallie: ok so 

hallie: scott might like logan correct

annie: Yes

hallie: BUT he doesn’t know that yet

annie: Mhm

hallie: therefore!!!!! before he has a chance to realize, swoop in and steal him for yourself

hallie: simple

annie: IS IT??????? 

hallie: YES 

hallie: it’s gonna be so easy to seduce him. you’re hot

hallie: i know this bc we have the same face and i’m fine as fuck

hallie: there’s also the added variable of scott likely repressing his feelings for logan bc he doesn’t know he’s queer yet

annie: Great theory but you haven’t even met him???????? 

hallie: i found his instagram

hallie: he definitely thinks he’s straight

annie: YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HIS LAST NAME????? 

annie: WHAT 

hallie: point being he’s looking for reasons to avoid a difficult introspection moment 

hallie: and you are a girl i.e. Safe to Crush On 

hallie: perfect diversion 

annie: I mean I don’t exactly want to be second choice

annie: Also you’re advocating for me to help him repress his sexuality by throwing myself at him???? 

hallie: yeah

hallie: it’s barely even manipulation at that point it’s just looking hot and being in his general line of sight

annie: You worry me 

hallie: fair

hallie: on the bright side this has reminded me of my greatest skills and given me an idea

annie: Uh oh

hallie: emma was always adamantly against a relationship 

hallie: but she would get super jealous when other ppl flirted with me

annie: Already hate where this is going!!!! 

hallie: therefore. if i date someone she’ll get jealous and see that she DOES want to be in a relationship with me

hallie: especially if it’s someone who looks like her

annie: NO NO NO 

annie: MADDIE THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA

annie: THIS WILL BE SO BAD FOR YOU 

annie: DO NOT 

hallie: that’s adorable 

annie: MADELYNE JENNIFER PRYOR 

annie: YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW 

hallie: deuces ✌️

alleged furries

Sunday, September 18th, 10:23am

shortking: jean

kurtwanker: great point???? 

shortking: thoughts

kurtwanker: oh i see 

kurtwanker: she’s v nice and friendly and seems smart!!!! i like her 

shortking: hm

shortking: i think slim likes her too 

kurtwanker: oh????

academic weapons 🔥

Sunday, September 18th, 10:24am

kombuchaassassin: WAKE UP LOGAN’S TEXTING ME ABT JEAN AND SCOTT 

kurtswetshoes: I’M UP 

kurtswetshoes: WHAT DID HE SAY 

kombuchaassassin: screenshot.jpg

kombuchassassin: IS THIS NOT BIZARRE 

kurtswetshoes: THIS JUST GETS MESSIER AND MESSIER 

kurtswetshoes: THEORIES

kombuchaassassin: ONE: he likes jean and he’s jealous that scott might end up being w her

kurtswetshoes: TWO: the inverse!!! 

kombuchaassassin: THREE: BOTH

kurtswetshoes: me personally?????? i think it’s three for SURE

kombuchaassassin: i’m inclined to agree

kombuchaassassin: but also idk if logan has ever fancied a guy before

kombuchaassassin: WAIT 

kombuchaassassin: oh shit i shouldn’t be telling you this 

kurtswetshoes: no no no dw!!! he hasn’t come out and right now we’re just theorizing i think you’re fine 

kombuchaassassin: fuck okay

alleged furries

Sunday, September 18th, 10:26am 

kurtwanker: do you like scott?? 

kurtwanker: as a friend i mean

shortking: fuck no 

shortking: he’s annoying as shit

shortking: probably follows the speed limit and dumb fckn things like that

shortking: he’s the worst

kurtwanker: riiiight

kurtwanker: but jean’s also a rule-follower tbf

shortking: yeah

shortking: someone’s gotta balance out their lawful bullshit tho 

kurtwanker: jean’s or scott’s??

shortking: jean 

shortking: scott probably meditates and shit 

shortking: i bet he’s got a whole lecture ready on balance

shortking: christ

kurtwanker: uh huh

your brother is an idiot

Sunday, September 18th, 11:55am

Hank McCoy: Are we still on for virtual tutoring at noon? 

Alex Summers: Do you still have that nerdy pair of glasses? 

Hank McCoy: ..I’ll take that as a yes.

hometown schmoetown

(members: Alex Summers and Lorna Dane) 

Sunday, September 18th, 12:16pm 

burningringofire: Emergency 

noteasybeingreen: did you fight another lacrosse player

burningringofire: The last one deserved it

burningringofire: But no I’m being tutored by Hank rn 

noteasybeingreen: ah 

noteasybeingreen: hot nerd boy?

burningringofire: I never said that 

noteasybeingreen: no, but the thirty text messages from you last night freaking out about his “take up as much of my time as you’d like” implied it 

burningringofire: Bitch

noteasybeingreen: slag

noteasybeingreen: what’s he doing then 

burningringofire: NOTHING HE’S JUST VERY NICE

noteasybeingreen: and

burningringofire: AND PATIENT WITH ME 

noteasybeingreen: and

burningringofire: AND HE DOESN’T TREAT ME LIKE I’M STUPID

noteasybeingreen: and

burningringofire: AND HE LOOKS KIND OF JACKED 

noteasybeingreen: i see 

burningringofire: You suck 

noteasybeingreen: off your mom 

burningringofire: Good luck doing that to a corpse

noteasybeingreen: gross

noteasybeingreen: so you like him then

burningringofire: NO 

burningringofire: BUT IF I DID HOW WOULD I FLIRT WITH HIM 

noteasybeingreen: good lord

burningringofire: HYPOTHETICALLY

noteasybeingreen: ask him a weird question or something i don’t know

noteasybeingreen: compliment his eyes or glasses or whatever

12:23pm

burningringofire: …

noteasybeingreen: what

burningringofire: I told him his glasses made him look like a tortoise

noteasybeingreen: you’re an idiot

princess protection program

Sunday, September 18th, 1:03pm

beautynthebeast: Do not tell Scott yet. 

elsa: omg is there drama

barbiefairytopia: ???

beautynthebeast: I’m tutoring Alex in chemistry.

barbiefairytopia: And I reiterate

barbiefairytopia: ???

elsa: what’s the problem bb

beautynthebeast: I think he hates me. 

barbiefairytopia: AND AGAIN

barbiefairytopia: ???

elsa: RECEIPTS I BEG 

beautynthebeast: He said my glasses made me look like a tortoise. Also, he keeps calling me a nerd. And he said that I have freakishly long fingers. 

elsa: alex summers???? 

beautynthebeast: Yes. 

barbiefairytopia: What else did he say???

beautynthebeast: It’s confusing, because he’ll say something kind and then follow it up with something rude. He called me a genius the other day, but then a nerd two seconds later. 

beautynthebeast: And over the call he thanked me for being patient with him, and when I said there was no reason to thank me (as it should obviously be standard for teachers to treat students with kindness and respect), he called me a bozo. 

barbiefairytopia: Huh

gentlemen prefer twinks

Sunday, September 18th, 1:05pm

nepobaby: Are you thinking what I’m thinking

iceicebaby: unfortunately yes

iceicebaby: and this spells DISASTER 

untitled chat

Sunday, September 18th, 3:25pm

?: hey alison, it’s maddie from theatre! i play vivienne? 

Alison Blaire: oh hey!! you’re great in that role

Madelyne Pryor: haha thanks, i was about to say the same to you 

Madelyne Pryor: you were made to play elle fr 

Madelyne Pryor: you’ve got the acting, singing, and dancing down pat

Madelyne Pryor: not to mention you’re fucking gorgeous 

Alison Blaire: thank you! you are too, you have an amazing bone structure 

Madelyne Pryor: it’s a gift

Madelyne Pryor: anyway, do you want to get coffee sometime?? 

Chapter Text

femininomenon

Tuesday, September 20th, 9:16am 

frostythesnowbitch: We need to talk about this

frostythesnowbitch: Come over tonight

goblindeeznuts: who’s we 

goblindeeznuts: oh right not us

goblindeeznuts: you made that abundantly clear

frostythesnowbitch: Don’t be such a child. It doesn’t suit you

goblindeeznuts: even if i did want to “talk” tonight, i can’t

goblindeeznuts: i have a date

frostythesnowbitch: You’ve rebounded quickly. 

goblindeeznuts: can’t rebound from nothing, remember

frostythesnowbitch: Go on, you’re obviously dying to tell me 

frostythesnowbitch: Who’s getting my sloppy seconds? 

goblindeeznuts: like you weren’t begging me to come over two seconds ago 

goblindeeznuts: we both know you don’t want to talk 

goblindeeznuts: has it been rough remembering how much shorter your fingers are

frostythesnowbitch: Fuck you. 

goblindeeznuts: can’t anymore, sorry

goblindeeznuts: i’m going out with alison blaire

9:48am 

frostythesnowbitch: Another blonde with a mean streak? 

frostythesnowbitch: You’re transparent. 

untitled chat 

(members: Logan and Scott Summers) 

Tuesday, September 20th, 12:02pm

(Logan named the chat “roasting you”) 

(Logan changed their name to “kickboxingchamp”) 

(Logan changed Scott Summers’ name to “slimjim”) 

kickboxingchamp: singlepieceofwonderbreadonthesidewalk.jpg

kickboxingchamp: this you

12:16pm

slimjim: Really

(slimjim changed kickboxingchamp’s name to “short”) 

barbershop quartet

Tuesday, September 20th, 12:17pm 

scottydoesntknow: breadscreenshot.jpg

scottydoesntknow: What the fuck 

princess protection program 

Tuesday, September 20th, 12:17pm

barbiefairytopia: Oh so Logan’s OBSESSED obsessed 

elsa: you took the words right outta my mouth warwar

barbiefairytopia: I can put something else in your mouth if you want 

beautynthebeast: PARDON 🤨

barbershop quartet

Tuesday, September 20th, 12:18pm

iceicebaby: LMAOOOO WHY IS LOGAN SUCH A BITCH 

nepobaby: RIGHT he could almost rival me 

beastmode: Fear not, Warren. 

beastmode: No one is bitchier than you. 

nepobaby: Thank you Hanky Panky 🤍

beastmode: Absolutely not. 

scottydoesntknow: If you three are done, I have a theory

iceicebaby: LOVE a theory 😫

nepobaby: Hit us with that good good Scotty 

beastmode: Petition for Warren to stop listening to Perfect Person. 

nepobaby: Never

nepobaby: Miles Bonsignore could do unspeakable things to me and I’d thank him

scottydoesntknow: ANYWAY MY THEORY????? 

iceicebaby: ofc ofc 

scottydoesntknow: I think Logan has a crush on Jean

scottydoesntknow: That’s why he hates me and won’t leave me alone

scottydoesntknow: He’s keeping tabs on me 

iceicebaby: …does he hate u tho 

scottydoesntknow: HE JUST SAID I WAS WET SIDEWALK BREAD 

nepobaby: Haven’t we all been wet sidewalk bread at some point in our lives

beastmode: What? 

scottydoesntknow: You guys are the Exact Opposite of helpful 

scottydoesntknow: Except for Hank 

nepobaby: We love Hank 

iceicebaby: 🗣️SPEAK ON IT ‼️

untitled chat

Tuesday, September 20th, 12:30pm

Scott Summers: How’s your week been? 

your brother is an idiot

Tuesday, September 20th, 12:30pm 

Alex Summers: How’s your week going

untitled chat

Tuesday, September 20th, 12:30pm

(Jean Grey named the chat “poli sci pals”) 

Jean Grey: It’s been pretty good! My sister’s making stupid post-breakup decisions, but I got a ton of work done yesterday, so I’m feeling accomplished 🤗

Scott Summers: That’s great! 

Jean Grey: Yeah! 

Jean Grey: What about you? 

Scott Summers: It’s been pretty normal 

Scott Summers: I’m excited to meet up for the project tomorrow! 

Jean Grey: Me too! I love Coffee-a-Go-Go

Scott Summers: I’ve never actually been 

Jean Grey: Really?? 

Scott Summers: Yeah, I’m still taking the bus everywhere, so I try to stick to the library and home for studying–I get stressed trying to figure out new routes lol

Jean Grey: I totally get that 

set fire to the rain (adele) 

Tuesday, September 20th, 12:34pm 

jncojean: I’M ABOUT TO COOK BE PROUD OF ME 

orororoyourboat: ?????? WHAT

poli sci pals

Tuesday, September 20th, 12:34pm 

Jean Grey: I can give you a ride tmrw if you want! 

barbershop quartet 

Tuesday, September 20th, 12:34pm 

scottydoesntknow: LADS 

nepobaby: WHAT 

iceicebaby: ORRIGHT BRUV WOT IS IT M8 

beastmode: YES? 

scottydoesntknow: JEAN JUST OFFERED ME A RIDE TO THE PROJECT MEETING TMRW 

iceicebaby: LET’S GOOOOOOO 

nepobaby: FUCKING GET IN!!!!!!!! 

beastmode: SAY YES SAY YES!

poli sci pals

Tuesday, September 20th, 12:35pm 

Scott Summers: That would be perfect!! Thank you so much! 

Jean Grey: Np! I’m happy to give you a lift whenever you need 😊

set fire to the rain (adele) 

Tuesday, September 20th, 12:35pm 

jncojean: I’M GIVING SCOTT A RIDE TO THE MEETING TMRW

orororoyourboat: HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!

orororoyourboat: THAT’S MY GIRL 

jncojean: WOOOOOOOOOOO 

your brother is an idiot

Tuesday, September 20th, 12:36pm

Hank McCoy: Sorry for the late reply–Scott’s getting a ride from his crush tomorrow, and we’re celebrating. 

Alex Summers: HOLY SHIT???? 

teenage mutant ninja turtles

(members: Scott and Alex Summers) 

Tuesday, September 20th, 12:36pm 

michelangelo: LET’S GO SCOTT!!!!!!!!! 

leonardo: ???? 

michelangelo: GETTING A RIDE FROM THE GIRL YOU LIKE! 

leonardo: OH 

leonardo: THANK YOU 

michelangelo: YEAHHHHHHHHH 

leonardo: WAHOOOOOOOOOO 

your brother is an idiot

Tuesday, September 20th, 12:37pm

Alex Summers: My little brother finally has game…I’m so proud 

Hank McCoy: Aren’t you the younger brother? 

Alex Summers: That is a horrific and malicious rumor and I will not stand for it 

Hank McCoy: You are though

Hank McCoy: I’ve known you and Scott since we were ten. 

Alex Summers: You don’t know

Alex Summers: Maybe we switched places

Hank McCoy: You’re not even twins?????? 

Alex Summers: That’s what you think 

Hank McCoy: What 😭

Alex Summers: Nah I’m messing with you

Alex Summers: I just like to keep you guessing, McCoy

Hank McCoy: Very funny. 

Hank McCoy: This is why Scott always says you’re more trouble than you’re worth. 

Alex Summers: I can make this worth your while, bozo 

Alex Summers: If that’s what you want

Hank McCoy: I already told you, there’s no need to pay me. I’m happy to help. 

Alex Summers: …You are such a fucking nerd 

Hank McCoy: ??? 

alleged furries

Tuesday, September 20th, 12:40pm 

shortking: texted scott 

kurtwanker: sigh

kurtwanker: do i want to know

shortking: singlepieceofwonderbreadonthesidewalk.jpg

shortking: i sent him this and said “this you” lol 

kurtwanker: why??????? 

shortking: i thought it was funny

shortking: is it not

kurtwanker: i mean. it’s funny but out of the blue it’s a little confusing 

shortking: is it too mean 

kurtwanker: no no i think it’s fine 

kurtwanker: why did you send it? did you want scott to think it’s funny too? 

shortking: why would i want him to think it’s funny

shortking: i don’t like him

kurtwanker: okay

kurtwanker: i know we don’t really talk about your feelings bc that’s a Boundary 

kurtwanker: but are you ok logan 

shortking: why wouldn’t i be 

kurtwanker: you just seem a little 

kurtwanker: idk 

kurtwanker: i know you don’t like scott but you’re talking about him a lot 

kurtwanker: you know it’s ok if you do like scott right?? 

shortking: oh jesus christ

shortking: don’t go soft on me now elf

kurtwanker: see now that to me screams defense mechanism

shortking: i’m not defensive 

shortking: i just don’t get why you’re making this such a big deal 

kurtwanker: okay. 

kurtwanker: i’ll back off 

kurtwanker: but maybe think this conversation over 

shortking: would that stop you worrying

kurtwanker: yes

shortking: then fine

princess protection program

Tuesday, September 20th, 1:00pm

beautynthebeast: Reminder: you are sworn to secrecy. 

elsa: cryptic! 

beautynthebeast: screenshot.jpg

beautynthebeast: What have I done to make Alex hate me?

gentlemen prefer twinks

Tuesday, September 20th, 1:00pm 

nepobaby: I am LOSING 

nepobaby: MY MIND 

iceicebaby: RIGHT 

iceicebaby: between this and scott’s weird gay shit with logan i canny fuckin cope 

nepobaby: Why are you going Scottish? 

iceicebaby: I’M BORED

iceicebaby: also i was in prof mactaggert’s lecture today and her accent is an earworm

iceicebaby: anyway not the point!!!!! 

iceicebaby: hanky panky is clueless and barrelling right into phone sex with scott’s brother 

nepobaby: Should we break it to him? 

iceicebaby: i’m genuinely not sure

iceicebaby: on one hand if he knows, he’s gonna feel guilty and scott will hit the fucking roof when he finds out 

iceicebaby: on the other hand

iceicebaby: if hank has a gay lil affair with alex it’ll make it less bad when we tell them we’ve been fucking since senior year

nepobaby: Shit these are both great points

nepobaby: I raise you: watching Hank continue to fumble the bag is VERY entertaining 

nepobaby: I propose we give it another week 

iceicebaby: excellent point 

iceicebaby: i concur

iceicebaby: also you mentioned putting smth in my mouth earlier?????? 

nepobaby: I’m in class 

iceicebaby: and

nepobaby: Yeah ok I’ll be there in 10 

iceicebaby: YIPPEE

princess protection program

Tuesday, September 20th, 1:07pm

elsa: i don’t think he hates you hanky panky

elsa: he’s just bad at being friends w ppl 

barbiefairytopia: Except for Lorna 

barbiefairytopia: But! Lorna is mean so there’s that 

elsa: precisely 😌

beautynthebeast: So I should insult him back if I want to be friends with him?? 

gentlemen prefer twinks 

Tuesday, September 20th, 1:08pm

iceicebaby: do we think alex would find that hot

nepobaby: Almost definitely 

iceicebaby: ok great

princess protection program

Tuesday, September 20th, 1:09pm

elsa: yee that should work 

elsa: don’t be too mean tho 

barbiefairytopia: Just teasing in a fun way 

beautynthebeast: Okay.

beautynthebeast: I think I can do that.

elsa: good luck!!! 

elsa: anyway gtg i have a prostate exam 

beautynthebeast: Have fun? 

elsa: thanks bb

gentlemen prefer twinks 

Tuesday, September 20th, 1:10pm

nepobaby: A PROSTATE EXAM??????

iceicebaby: if you look at it from a certain point of view

nepobaby: FROM A CERTAIN POINT OF VIEW????????

2 best friends…they might kiss 

Tuesday, September 20th, 1:23pm

blossom: just so you know i’m still mad at you for interfering in my relationship 

bubbles: fair 

blossom: BUT i also heard the lights crew talking abt you and madelyne pryor going on a date???

bubbles: first 

bubbles: i’m sorry for interfering, i should’ve trusted you to handle it yourself instead of trying to fix it for you 

bubbles: second

bubbles: EEEEEEE I HAVE A DATEEEEE

blossom: AWWWWWW

blossom: tell me everything 

blossom: is she as mean as they say 

blossom: are you planning to smooch tonight 

blossom: where does she do vocal lessons bc good lord 

blossom: how did it start how long have you been talking 

bubbles: ok ok so

bubbles: she’s flirting w me so she hasn’t been mean but! she IS very direct which indicates to me that if she has a problem w someone she will Let Them Know

blossom: like you!!!! 

bubbles: yes!! we’re actually pretty similar i think 

bubbles: as for smooching her i would LOVE to she’s so fucking hot 

blossom: duh 

bubbles: i haven’t asked abt vocal lessons yet but the second i have info i’ll report back 

bubbles: and she asked me out on sunday!!! idk why but she complimented my voice and said i’m hot so ig she just decided to go for it?? 

blossom: aww i love this 

blossom: do you like her????

bubbles: …perchance

blossom: AWWWW 

blossom: ALIIIIIII 

blossom: I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOUUUUUUUUU

bubbles: THANKSSSS I’M REALLY HAPPY TOO 

blossom: and now the double date i’ve been dreaming of can finally be a reality!!!

bubbles: dudeeeee

blossom: speaking of what are y’all doing tonight??

bubbles: it’s gonna be pretty chill, we’re grabbing boba and then going to that cute new bookshop on mainstreet 

blossom: LOVE IT 

bubbles: I KNOW RIGHT 

poli sci pals 

Wednesday, September 21st, 12:01am 

Jean Grey: Hey, random question 

Jean Grey: You mentioned you have an extracurricular on Wednesdays and I was just wondering what it is?? You don’t have to tell me but I’m having trouble sleeping and I’m attempting to find the source of my brain’s restlessness

4:46am 

Scott Summers: Hey! Sorry I didn’t see this earlier, I fell asleep doing the reading 

Scott Summers: Hopefully you were able to find sleep too, but I’ll answer your question just in case

Scott Summers: I do ballet 

Scott Summers: Which is probably not what you expected

6:17am 

Jean Grey: Why ballet? 

6:32am

Scott Summers: I grew up in some pretty bad fostering situations

Scott Summers: There was a court case with one of my more abusive homes when they found out my foster father was making us help him with robberies 

Scott Summers: Basically, I either had court-mandated therapy or court-mandated arts classes for a year

Scott Summers: Drawing and writing were too much like school and I can’t wrap my mind around most instruments, so I tried dance

Scott Summers: So now we have ballet 

Scott Summers: My brother’s more into hip-hop and contemporary though

Jean Grey: Wow

Jean Grey: Well first off, fuck the foster system

Jean Grey: I’m double majoring in Child Psychology, so I have PLENTY of bones to pick with foster care

Jean Grey: Second, I’m honored you told me and I’m glad you were able to find something you loved in all of that 

Jean Grey: And third, PLEASE tell me you’ve worn a tutu at least once 

Scott Summers: Lol, I have 

Scott Summers: rockyhorrorballet.jpg

Scott Summers: Our studio does a ballet version of Rocky Horror each year, and I was Rocky last year

Scott Summers: We thought it would be funny to replace his golden shorts with a golden tutu

Jean Grey: GIVE THOSE COSTUMERS A L L THE AWARDS

Scott Summers: RIGHT 

Jean Grey: Seriously though, you look awesome 

Jean Grey: I’m making this your contact photo 

Scott Summers: Oh god 

Scott Summers: Do you have a photo I can use for yours? So we’re even

Jean Grey: Ahhh wait I’ll take one rn 

Jean Grey: jeanandphoenix.jpg

Jean Grey: I’m still not out of bed lol

Scott Summers: That’s alright, neither am I 

Scott Summers: What’s your cat’s name? 

Jean Grey: Phoenix! She’s a total chaos gremlin

Jean Grey: Definition of orange cat behavior imo 

Scott Summers: Aww 

Scott Summers: Her fur’s the same color as your hair!! 

Jean Grey: I KNOW ISN’T IT THE BEST 

Scott Summers: It’s FANTASTIC 

Jean Grey: Speaking of Phoenix, she craves flesh

Jean Grey: But I’ll see you later! 

Scott Summers: For sure! I’ll send over the address :)

Scott Summers: And give Phoenix my love 

Jean Grey: She’s counting on it 🔥

the incredibles 

(members: Erik Lehnsherr, Lorna Dane, Wanda Maximoff, and Pietro Maximoff) 

Wednesday, September 21st, 10:25am 

jackjack: do any of you know a hank mccoy 

dash: the genius???

violet: yeah, he’s doing his second masters here or something insane like that

ednamode: Yes, Hank is taking Xavier’s Poli Sci course “for fun” while he works on his Masters in Physics

ednamode: Though rumour has it he’s telling all of his classmates he’s a regular old undergraduate

ednamode: I don’t know how he’ll maintain that façade when he starts T.A.-ing for Professor MacTaggert next semester.

jackjack: DAD COMING THROUGH WITH THE GOSSIP AS ALWAYS 

jackjack: THANK YOU 

violet: what’s it for??? 

jackjack: alex is down BAD for him 

jackjack: any other details???

dash: apparently his feet are fucking massive 

jackjack: ooooh okay alex will be thrilled 

violet: excuse me 

jackjack: shut up you know what they say about men with big feet

jackjack: that’s what i meant

violet: I hope so!!

ednamode: Alex is Scott Summers’ brother, yes? 

jackjack: ja

ednamode: I see 

ednamode: Charles put Scott and two of his other students together for their group project as an “experiment” 

ednamode: Seems the Summers boys have no shortage of relationship dramatics unfolding

dash: annnnnd he vanishes back into the darkness

dash: bye dad

ednamode: Bring home garlic knots from Theresa’s

dash: aye aye dad

set fire to the rain (adele) 

Tuesday, September 21st, 10:33am 

jncojean: Send help

jncojean: rockyhorrorballet.jpg

orororoyourboat: Oh he’s ripped 

jncojean: HIS SHOULDERS DUDE 

orororoyourboat: Is that gold body glitter??? 

jncojean: I think so 😭

orororoyourboat: Oh babe

orororoyourboat: You are so fucked 

your brother is an idiot

Wednesday, September 21st, 10:41am 

Hank McCoy: I may be a nerd, but you need tutoring.

Hank McCoy: Perhaps you should also give being a nerd a try. 

Alex Summers: Ok???? Maybe you should give loosening the fuck up a try 

Alex Summers: Maybe if you didn’t have a bunsen burner shoved up your ass you’d get what I was trying to say earlier

Hank McCoy: That I’m a nerd? 

Alex Summers: No bozo 

Alex Summers: That I want to make this worth your while

Hank McCoy: This is already worth my while, Alex. 

Hank McCoy: You don’t need to pay me. I enjoy your company, and if you were in Westchester I’d be glad to hang out with you beyond just tutoring.

Alex Summers: What kind of hanging out

Hank McCoy: Do you like ice cream? 

Alex Summers: Yeah

Hank McCoy: Then I’d buy you an ice cream and show you around the university

Hank McCoy: I’d also show you my lab, if you were interested by what I do 

Alex Summers: I am 

Alex Summers: Interested

Hank McCoy: So you don’t hate me? 

Alex Summers: What?? 

Alex Summers: Of course not you big geek 

Hank McCoy: Good. 

Hank McCoy: That’s very cool. 

Alex Summers: Jlksdljdsjf

hometown schmoetown

Wednesday, September 21st, 10:55am 

burningringofire: I need to fuck Hank so bad it makes me look stupid

noteasybeingreen: huge news hank has massive feet

burningringofire: What

noteasybeingreen: what

poli sci pals

Wednesday, September 21st, 1:30pm 

Jean Grey: I’m here! 

Scott Summers: Great! Be out in a sec :) 

barbershop quartet

Wednesday, September 21st, 1:35pm

scottydoesntknow: You guys

scottydoesntknow: Jean drives a red truck 

iceicebaby: holy shit

nepobaby: She’s an icon

scottydoesntknow: Idk why but this makes her even more attractive

iceicebaby: this is just like twilight

beastmode: Why. 

scottydoesntknow: OKAY MOMENT OVER EVERYONE PACK IT UP 

iceicebaby: I’M SORRYYYYYYYY

teenage mutant ninja turtles

Wednesday, September 21st, 1:37pm 

leonardo: Wait a minute

leonardo: How did you find out that Jean was giving me a ride? 

Chapter Text

your brother is an idiot

Wednesday, September 21st, 1:38pm 

Alex Summers: Did you tell Scott you were tutoring me? 

Hank McCoy: No, I haven’t. Academic matters can be very private to many people–I assumed you wouldn’t want me to disclose that information. 

Hank McCoy: Would you like me to tell him? 

Alex Summers: Nah I was just checking

Alex Summers: It’s nice to talk to you without my brother in our business 

Hank McCoy: Understood 👍

the cooler summers

(members: Alex Summers and Bobby Drake) 

Wednesday, September 21st, 1:40pm 

lexi: I’m about to throw you under the bus btw

bobert: HUH 

teenage mutant ninja turtles

Wednesday, September 21st, 1:40pm

michelangelo: Bobby told me 

michelangelo: Frankly I’m offended you didn’t tell me yourself

michelangelo: I deserve to be kept informed of any future sister-in-laws

leonardo: With your jealous streak????? 

leonardo: Remember when you were five and you bit Warren on the ass when I decided to go play with him instead of you 

leonardo: I can’t risk the same thing happening to Jean 

leonardo: You’re lucky if you’re invited to the wedding 

michelangelo: AHA 

michelangelo: SO HER NAME IS JEAN 

leonardo: FUCK 

michelangelo: I’m going to find her instagram and send her ALLLLLL of your baby pictures

leonardo: Don’t you dare 

michelangelo: YOU CAN’T STOP ME 

michelangelo: I’ll send her the video of you eating shit en pointe FIRST THING 

michelangelo: And if she makes fun of you for doing ballet I’ll have to kill her

leonardo: After your stint in juvie you really shouldn’t be making those jokes in writing

leonardo: Also she already knows I do ballet

leonardo: I sent her the Rocky photo

michelangelo: Holy shit so she’s ACTUALLY gonna be my sister-in-law

leonardo: Shut up

leonardo: Anyway I gotta go I’m in her truck rn 

leonardo: Go focus on your own love life

michelangelo: Oh trust me. I am VERY focused

michelangelo: Wait wdym you’re in her truck 

michelangelo: Scott. If you have car sex before I do I will be furious.

michelangelo: Oh wait yeah she’s giving you a ride

michelangelo: I forgot

leonardo: I’m ignoring you 

leonardo: And you should not be having any sex at all 

leonardo: You’re way too young for that

michelangelo: YOU’RE ONLY A YEAR OLDER THAN ME 

michelangelo: PRUDE

summers the bummer

Wednesday, September 21st, 1:46pm 

scottydoesntknow: Gossip 

iceicebaby: WTF IS HAPPENINGGGGGG

princess protection program

Wednesday, September 21st, 1:59pm 

barbiefairytopia: Lllllllladies and gentlemen this is Warren Worthington III, clocking in for his 2pm shift and reporting live from Coffee-a-Go-Go 

elsa: WARREN YOU LEGEND  

beautynthebeast: Oh thank god. 

barbiefairytopia: To EVERYONE’s surprise, Logan is early and sitting at a corner booth with a shot of espresso AND 

elsa: that’s that me espressooooo

barbiefairytopia: IF I AM NOT MISTAKEN. A BLONDE LATTE WITH 1 PUMP OF MOCHA

elsa: GASP 

beautynthebeast: Oh shit, he’s memorized Jean’s coffee order…

elsa: FUUUUUCK 

elsa: YOU GOTTA GET IN THERE SCOTT

barbiefairytopia: A RED TRUCK HAS PULLED UP OUTSIDE

elsa: oh my god okay okay everyone STAY FOCUSED. LOCK IN 

beautynthebeast: I’m in I’m in 

barbiefairytopia: LOCKED AND LOADED BABE

barbiefairytopia: Ok so Jean is wearing a nice blue red and yellow striped shirt, dark wash jeans AND green sneakers

barbiefairytopia: She looks straight up HOT 

barbiefairytopia: Scott is also in his good shirt ofc

elsa: a classic 

barbiefairytopia: Also the black jeans that make his ass look fantastic

elsa: LET’S GO SCOTT!!!!

barbiefairytopia: Ok Logan is waving them over 

barbiefairytopia: Jean is vv grateful for the coffee

barbiefairytopia: SHE TOUCHED LOGAN ON THE SHOULDER

elsa: NO 

beautynthebeast: Agh!!!

barbiefairytopia: Ok I can tell Scott’s getting in his head I’m calling him over

beautynthebeast: Good call. 

elsa: NOOO SCOTT BABY BOY 

elsa: damn i really thought logan liked scott

beautynthebeast: Same!! 

elsa: what a twist :/

barbiefairytopia: DON’T SPEAK TOO SOON 

barbiefairytopia: JUST HAD ANOTHER TWIST
elsa: WHAT

beautynthebeast: Say more!!!!

barbiefairytopia: Ok so Scott comes up to order. I’m about to give him a pep talk when BAM Logan appears out of fucking nowhere and shoves a bunch of money into Scott’s hand and he was like “I didn’t know what to get you” 

elsa: GAY 

beautynthebeast: VERY gay.

barbiefairytopia: Scott is obviously very noble though so he tried to give the money back and istg they stood there bickering over who owes who for a solid minute at LEAST

barbiefairytopia: Also 90% sure they were both blushing without realizing

elsa: GAY GAY GAY 

beautynthebeast: 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

barbiefairytopia: Oh it gets better

barbiefairytopia: Jean walks up. Literally separates them. Takes out her OWN cash and pays for Scott’s drink

elsa: WERK ETC

beautynthebeast: Definitely see why Scott’s so enamored with her. 

barbiefairytopia: AND THEN 

barbiefairytopia: She plucks Logan’s money from Scott’s hand and puts it in HER OWN BAG 

barbiefairytopia: THEN she says “there, now we know who owes who. You both owe me.” 

barbiefairytopia: AND SHE STEERS EM BY THE SHOULDERS BACK TO THE TABLE 

elsa: ok so my jaw is on the GROUND 

beautynthebeast: Flabbergasted. Gobsmacked. 

barbiefairytopia: Anyway Kitty’s making his drink rn but they’re all at the table with their textbooks and laptops out 

barbiefairytopia: Jean looks like she surprised herself, Scott keeps glancing at her and Logan, and Logan is gritting his teeth so hard I think his jaw might crack open 

elsa: ok so i’m almost certain jean is the only one not going through a bi crisis rn

beautynthebeast: I’d say that’s accurate. 

barbiefairytopia: Kitty is bringing over the drink

barbiefairytopia: THEY’RE ALL TRYING EACH OTHER’S DRINKS 

barbiefairytopia: It’s becoming increasingly clear to me that this isn’t a Jean vs. Logan for Scott thing 

barbiefairytopia: They’re all pining after each other and Scott and Logan have no idea 

beautynthebeast: Absolutely.

elsa: this is such a mess i can’t 💀

elsa: figuring out ur bi is one thing but ALSO poly?????? fucking fuck

barbiefairytopia: Okay I just came back from delivering scones and I clocked Jean’s backpack 

barbiefairytopia: SHE HAS A PRIDE PIN 

elsa: YESSSSSSS

beautynthebeast: There’s hope!!!

barbiefairytopia: Logan’s leaning over Jean’s shoulder to look at smth on her computer

barbiefairytopia: Logan and Scott are now sniping at each other 

barbiefairytopia: Jean is once again making them chill out

barbiefairytopia: Jean and Logan have BOTH spotted the cyclops bracelet on Scott’s wrist

barbiefairytopia: THEY’RE BOTH TOUCHING HIS WRIST 

barbiefairytopia: SCOTT LOOKS LIKE HE’S GONNA PASS OUT 

elsa: YESS THROUPLE THROUPLE THROUPLE 

beautynthebeast: Good luck, Scott. 🫡

3:03pm

barbiefairytopia: They’re all laughing and chatting up a storm 

barbiefairytopia: Logan is telling some sort of story and Jean and Scott are losing their minds 

elsa: holy shit logan might just be the rizzler

beautynthebeast: Never say that again. 

elsa: ur so mean to me >:(

3:43pm 

barbiefairytopia: Logan and Scott just reached for the same pencil and now they’re sniping at each other again 

beautynthebeast: Gay disasters. 

elsa: haha yeah imagine insulting each other as a way to disguise ur flirting lmao that’s crazy 

beautynthebeast: I really don’t understand it. 

gentlemen prefer twinks 

Wednesday, September 21st, 3:45pm 

iceicebaby: clueless

nepobaby: Hank has a SEVERE reckoning coming the poor man 

princess protection program 

Wednesday, September 21st, 4:47pm 

barbiefairytopia: Agh ok they’re leaving booooo I’m out of entertainment

barbiefairytopia: WAIT LOGAN AND JEAN ARE TRYING ON SCOTT’S GLASSES 

beautynthebeast: REALLY????? 

elsa: the most TEXTBOOK form of flirting known to man 

barbiefairytopia: Ok ok they’re leaving fr now

barbiefairytopia: Omg Logan just held the truck door open for Jean and Scott is pouting on the other side

barbiefairytopia: WAIT HE’S CIRCLING AROUND TO SCOTT 

barbiefairytopia: He gave him the manly shoulder pat and then poked him in the stomach 

barbiefairytopia: They’re slap-fighting 

elsa: GAYYYYYYYYYYYY 

beautynthebeast: Idiots. 

barbiefairytopia: JEAN TO THE RESCUE AGAIN 

barbiefairytopia: She’s herding Scott into the truck and she just hugged Logan goodbye 

barbiefairytopia: Ok they’re actually leaving leaving now 

barbiefairytopia: Of COURSE Logan drives a motorcycle

elsa: WHAT A JOURNEY 

beautynthebeast: Bets on when they’ll all be together? 

barbiefairytopia: I give them two weeks

elsa: nah scott is gonna go by the bet bc he’s anxious 

elsa: we have until late october methinks 

beautynthebeast: I give them another semester. 

elsa: HANK IF THAT HAPPENS I WILL LOSE MY MIND

barbiefairytopia: DO NOT SPEAK THAT INTO EXISTENCE 

set fire to the rain (adele) 

Wednesday, September 21st, 5:05pm 

jncojean: Terrible news

orororoyourboat: What on earth is it now?? 

jncojean: We just had our group project meeting and 

jncojean: Logan is also hot

orororoyourboat: I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE 

orororoyourboat: That’s it I’m scheming

jncojean: whAT 

orororoyourboat: I AM SCHEMING

orororoyourboat: SO HELP ME GODS JEAN I AM SCHEMING 

jncojean: AHHHHHHHHH 

Poli Sci Field Trip

Wednesday, September 21st, 6:00pm

Dear Erik,

I hope you’re well and surviving the working week alright. 

I’m emailing to inquire whether your Political Science class would be interested in joining mine for a weekend field trip to Washington D.C. –it will likely be two to three weeks from now. The trip has already been approved by Headmistress Cooper, so long as I bring another class along. I immediately thought of yours, seeing as Mr. Summers already knows your children well due to his brother’s friendship with Lorna; and of course, Jean and Madelyne are sisters. 

Let me know what you think. 

All the best, 

Charles Xavier 

Re: Poli Sci Field Trip 

Wednesday, September 21st, 6:30pm 

Charles, 

The week has been trying, as always–one of my students received no education on European history in high school, and it has been a challenge to keep her informed. 

I’m sure my class would be happy to join yours in D.C. I know Ms. Pryor in particular would enjoy it, seeing as Ms. Frost is also in my class–I think she needs a bit of a break. I am also excited by the prospect. D.C. is not my favorite American city, but it is an important one, nonetheless. As a history and political science professor, I’m sure you understand why I am interested. 

Would you like to discuss plans for the trip over dinner tomorrow night? I’m happy to host, of course, and our house is wheelchair-accessible. Let me know if you have any dietary requirements.

Sincerely, 

Erik Lehnsherr

Re: Poli Sci Field Trip 

Wednesday, September 21st, 7:14pm 

Erik, 

I’d love to join you for dinner. I have recently switched to a pescatarian diet, so any accommodations made for that would be appreciated. 

Will Wanda and Pietro be joining us? If so, I’d like to bring my goddaughter along. I think her and Wanda would be fast friends. 

Charles 

Re: Poli Sci Field Trip 

Wednesday, September 21st, 9:08pm 

Charles, 

Apologies for the late response, I’ve just returned from tonight’s dinner. I’ve recently been introduced to Vietnamese pho and banh mi, and I confess I’ve become a little obsessed with both. 

Accommodations can absolutely be made for your diet. I’ve heard the pescatarian lifestyle improves hair and nail growth and strength–is that why you’ve switched? 

Wanda and Pietro will be joining, yes. Please excuse Pietro’s table manners in advance. We’d be happy to have your goddaughter join. 

Erik 

Re: Poli Sci Field Trip 

Thursday, September 22nd, 7:32am 

Erik, 

I completely understand your newfound love of pho. My sister, Raven, has developed a habit of ordering food to my home when she thinks I’ve been working too late. Last night, it was Ethiopian food, and I am in quite the same boat as you. Completely obsessed. 

As for my hair, I’ve been told I wear the baldness well, thank you very much. Not all of us can have a luscious head of hair at fifty-five. 

Excellent, I’ll bring her along. What time tonight? 

Charles

Re: Poli Sci Field Trip 

Thursday, September 22nd, 7:46am

Charles, 

I have yet to try Ethiopian food. I’ll add it to my list. As for Raven, I can recognize a thinly-veiled check-in when I see one; she’s doing well as my T.A., never fear. 

Being bald does suit you remarkably well. Not many men would have the facial structure for it. 

How about 7:15 tonight? 

Erik 

Re: Poli Sci Field Trip 

Thursday, September 22nd, 7:48am

Erik, 

Wonderful. I’m glad to hear Raven is doing well–don’t tell her, but I do worry. Thank you for appealing to my ego. 

7:15 sounds perfect. I’ll bring cannolis for dessert. 

Charles 

coffee gang ☕ 💪 💪 

Thursday, September 22nd, 8:32am 

jeanius: Hey, would you guys mind if I invited Scott to our next coffee gang meetup? He’s from poli sci–the guy with the glasses?? 

sparky: i’m down!! 

academic weapons 🔥

Thursday, September 22nd, 8:33am 

kurtswetshoes: WHATTTTTT

kombuchaassassin: I DON’T KNOW I DON’T KNOW 

kurtswetshoes: ASK LOGAN 

kombuchaassassin: G R E A T POINT 

kombuchaassassin: WUNDERBAR 

kurtswetshoes: NOOOO LITTLE GERMAN BOY 

alleged furries 

Thursday, September 22nd, 8:34am 

kurtwanker: how was the group project meeting yesterday?? 

shortking: it was fine 

shortking: i bought jean coffee

shortking: i tried to buy scott coffee but he wouldn’t let me so jean bought it for him instead

academic weapons 🔥

Thursday, September 22nd, 8:36am 

kombuchaassassin: ok logan has not said anything of importance but

kombuchaassassin: i think he might be panicking a bit 

kurtswetshoes: oh no 

kombuchaassassin: he’s already not v in touch w his feelings 

kombuchaassassin: a potential bi crisis like this is Not Good 

kurtswetshoes: you got it you got it

kurtswetshoes: just listen and affirm 

kombuchaassassin: aghhhh ok ok

alleged furries 

Thursday, September 22nd, 8:38am 

kurtwanker: aww that’s nice of her

shortking: she is nice

shortking: i don’t get why scott would let her buy it but not me 

shortking: and i don’t get why that’s bothering me so fucking much 

shortking: this is so fucking stupid

kurtwanker: what is?? 

shortking: i don’t know

shortking: jean touched my shoulder a lot

shortking: she’s very nice 

shortking: and pretty funny 

shortking: and she definitely likes scott 

kurtwanker: do you like her?? 

shortking: yeah i think so 

shortking: but

shortking: shouldn’t it bother me more that jean and scott are flirting then 

kurtwanker: does it not??

shortking: nah it’s more warm 

kurtwanker: warm? 

shortking: it’s good that they like each other 

shortking: scott has a bracelet that says cyclops and jean and i looked at it

shortking: and i tried his glasses on 

shortking: he got flustered about it 

shortking: i like riling him up for some reason and i think i’m just a jerk  

kurtwanker: oh bärchen

kurtwanker: you’re not a jerk 

kurtwanker: i think you’re just having a time of it right now 

shortking: ain’t i always 

kurtwanker: that’s true

kurtwanker: can i ask you a question

shortking: yeah

kurtwanker: if you didn’t dislike scott, what would happen? 

shortking: i don’t know

shortking: it’d be confusing

kurtwanker: okay

shortking: i’m sick to death of things being confusing kurt

shortking: i’m done with being stupid or not knowing or not remembering

shortking: it’s so fucking frustrating

kurtwanker: i know 

shortking: i don’t like scott

shortking: he makes things confusing 

shortking: i’m poking at him bc i’m trying to figure it out i think 

kurtwanker: what about him is confusing?? 

shortking: a lot 

shortking: i’ll make a list 

shortking: then i can keep track and add to it when i find something new 

kurtwanker: that’s a good idea

kurtwanker: i think that’ll help a lot 

kurtwanker: is jean confusing? 

shortking: no jean’s comforting

shortking: but jean and scott together is confusing 

kurtwanker: interesting

fun-size gang

Thursday, September 22nd, 9:17am 

kitkat: did you hear about emma maddie and alison 

kitkat: i overheard some actors gossiping outside the booth last night 

starburst: yeah the costumes crew filled me in 

starburst: it’s fucked up 

starburst: i mostly just feel bad for ali 

starburst: i would NOT want to be in between emma frost and madelyne pryor they’re fucking terrifying 

kitkat: agreed

kitkat: i don’t think ali knows tho

starburst: oh shit really??

kitkat: yeah 

kitkat: she and maddie came into go go today and got coffee together

kitkat: they looked close

kitkat: and you and i both know alison mf blaire would not let that shit go so easily

starburst: shit you’re right she definitely doesn’t know

kitkat: exactly 

kitkat: i’m wondering if i should tell her

starburst: um. what 

starburst: kitty i’m all for nobility and honor n all that but emma’s already after ali 

starburst: if you help her she’ll be coming for YOUR throat next 

starburst: she probably knows hitmen!!

starburst: she probably IS a hitman!!! 

kitkat: i know i know but ali is nice 

kitkat: she doesn’t deserve to be a pawn in whatever this white queen red queen death match is 

starburst: oh god

starburst: ok if you’re dead set on incriminating yourself here’s a compromise

starburst: tell rogue. don’t tell ali directly 

starburst: and for the love of god do NOT do it in writing 

starburst: if there’s a shred of evidence you’re dead

kitkat: you’re right that’s smart

kitkat: wait jubes this conversation is in writing

starburst: fuuuuuuuuuuuuu

starburst: DELETE IT DELETE IT DELETE IT 

kitkat: OKAY OKAY 

(kitkat deleted the conversation)

the incredibles

Thursday, September 22nd, 10:08am 

ednamode: Wanda and Pietro–Charles Xavier is coming over for dinner, along with his goddaughter

ednamode: We’ll be discussing a field trip to DC

dash: sick 

violet: cool 

violet: who’s his goddaughter???

ednamode: He didn’t say 

violet: interesting..

jackjack: suspicious is what it is 

violet: shouldn’t you be asleep??

jackjack: it’s 7am not midnight 

dash: yeah but you hate waking up early 

jackjack: ok and

jackjack: both of you get off my dick

violet: oooo crankpot in the morning i see

dash: no rest all stress huh

ednamode: Children, get off of your sister’s dick 

dash: ughhhhhhhh fineeeeee

ednamode: And Lorna, use “get off my back” next time. That was a very strange text to write 

jackjack: wimp

ednamode: Unangebracht

ednamode: Charles will be over at 7:15, twins 

ednamode: Try not to die before then 

violet: sir yes sir

dash: yurrrrr

untitled chat

Thursday, September 22nd, 10:42am 

Logan: forgot to tell you yesterday 

Logan: cool truck 

Jean Grey: Thanks!! I never really saw myself driving a truck tbh, but I’ve really fallen in love with it 

Logan: why did you get it if you didn’t think it was your thing

Jean Grey: I didn’t actually get it for myself, my godfather gave it to me 

Jean Grey: It used to be his sister’s

Logan: aren’t godparents some rich people shit 

Jean Grey: Jfjlfjsdlhfkjhg;lafjkow

Jean Grey: Not necessarily, but in this case my godfather is definitely in the category of rich people shit 

Jean Grey: He’s nice, though

Jean Grey: He takes good care of me  

Logan: did your parents die

Logan: is that why he’s taking care of you

Jean Grey: No, they’re alive 

Jean Grey: It’s kind of a complicated story 

Logan: well i’m curious

Logan: what happened

Jean Grey: Basically

Jean Grey: My parents’ marriage was on the rocks when my mother was pregnant with me. She was hoping that, with me, my father would feel obligated to stay with her. My older sister Sara had left them by then and eloped with her boyfriend

Jean Grey: But my father worked constantly, so he missed the birth by complete coincidence when he was on a work trip in Arizona 

Jean Grey: My mother skipped doing the ultrasound because she was afraid of what she would see. She wanted me to be a boy, because fathers apparently bond more with sons or some bullshit like that

Jean Grey: It turned out she was having twins

Logan: oh shit 

Jean Grey: She was afraid my father would panic if there were two of us and decide to leave her, because apparently one baby is the happy medium 

Jean Grey: She’d chosen to do a birth with a midwife instead of at the hospital because she gets really nervous about doctors, ever since her father died 

Jean Grey: So she basically had no one except a midwife to keep her accountable for both babies 

Jean Grey: She randomly decided to keep me and give up my sister for adoption 

Jean Grey: She named my sister Madelyne Pryor and had the midwife take her and leave her on someone’s doorstep. 

Logan: fuck 

Jean Grey: Yeah 

Jean Grey: Maddie was put into foster care and ended up in an awful home in Nebraska with a bunch of other kids

Jean Grey: She was there for all of elementary and middle school, plus her freshman year of high school, but at some point she decided to take an ancestry test

Jean Grey: Our sister Sara had also done one at some point, and that’s how she found my parents

Jean Grey: So 14 year old Maddie shows up on our porch, looking exactly like me, and obviously all hell broke loose 

Jean Grey: My dad left, and my mom felt so guilty about everything that she had me go and stay with our godfather while she took care of Maddie 

Jean Grey: She basically decided that, since I had gotten all my time with our parents for most of my life, it was Maddie’s turn 

Jean Grey: We spent high school in separate homes and hated each other, and then by coincidence we ended up both getting into the University of Westchester 

Jean Grey: We’re in a good place now, but it took some time 

Jean Grey: And neither of us speak to our mother or father anymore 

Logan: fucking hell jeannie 

Logan: your mom sounds like a real piece of work 

Logan: is sara alright

Jean Grey: Yeah, we meet up with her occasionally, but it’s more like seeing a distant aunt than a sister 

Logan: damn

Logan: well fuck your mom for doing that to you and maddie 

Logan: and thank fuck for your godfather 

Jean Grey: Jfjkkdjfs I know right 

Jean Grey: WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED YOU KNOW HIM 

Jean Grey: DUH 

Logan: really???? 

Jean Grey: He’s our professor! Charles Xavier 

Logan: um 

Logan: i’m gonna sound like my friend kurt here but 

Logan: are you in therapy

Jean Grey: Lmaooooo yeah I am, so’s Maddie 

Jean Grey: And I’m double majoring in Child Psychology

Logan: makes sense 

Logan: it’s polite to say thanks for telling me that right

Jean Grey: Jfkdj yeah I’d say so 

Logan: ok. thanks 

Jean Grey: You’re welcome 

Jean Grey: What about you?? Are your parents ok? 

Logan: oh i don’t know my parents

Logan: similar situation to your twin 

Jean Grey: Ohhh I see 

Jean Grey: I’m sorry, I know that’s hard

Logan: nah it’s alright

Logan: that’s how it is sometimes

Jean Grey: Yeah 

Logan: you’re really nice for all that stuff to happen to you

Jean Grey: I try to be!! 

Logan: i’m not nice really

Logan: but kurt says it’s ok that i’m not because it’s all really fucked up 

Logan: so. same applies to you

Logan: it’s ok to lose your shit once in a while 

Logan: sorry

Logan: not trying to tell you what to do 

Logan: that’s just helpful for me or whatever

Jean Grey: It’s ok, you’re right

Jean Grey: And so is Kurt

Jean Grey: I think you both make a good point 

Logan: good 

Logan: i have a motorcycle

Jean Grey: I noticed

Logan: sometimes i like to scream when i ride it and that’s good too

Logan: do you wanna join 

Jean Grey: Honestly??? 

Jean Grey: Fuck yeah 

Logan: fuck yeah 

(Logan named the chat “fuck em we ball”) 

Jean Grey: LOVE IT 

snitches get stitches 

(members: Lorna Dane, Wanda Maximoff, and Pietro Maximoff) 

Thursday, September 22nd, 1:01pm 

hereswandawall: so we’re all thinking what i’m thinking i assume

hereswandawall: bc i’m always right and also i’m telepathic

gottagofast: still not a real thing 

hereswandawall: not yet 

reversethepolarity: yet???? 

reversethepolarity: anyway yes i agree we are setting up xavier and dad

gottagofast: oh ok sick we’re all on the same page 

hereswandawall: there are a few steps to my plan 

hereswandawall: 1. we observe their dynamic during dinner and then leave them alone afterwards

hereswandawall: with a conveniently placed bottle of brandy obviously 

hereswandawall: i will spy on them because i am sneaky 

gottagofast: what about me tf 

hereswandawall: pietro you are loud as fuck 

reversethepolarity: real

gottagofast: rude

hereswandawall: we must ENSURE that they get each other’s phone numbers

gottagofast: i can do that 

gottagofast: i’ll stick it in xavier’s pocket 

hereswandawall: perfect

hereswandawall: now lorna here is where you come in 

reversethepolarity: go on

hereswandawall: i need you to get hank on our side 

reversethepolarity: WAS 

hereswandawall: he’s a genius AND he’s in xavier’s class 

hereswandawall: plus he’s going to be a t.a. ergo he’ll have more access to the academic buildings xavier and dad will be in 24/7

gottagofast: we could lock them in a closet!!!!

hereswandawall: EXACTLY my thought 

hereswandawall: also if you and he are conspiring on a scheme you can get closer with him and work out his potential feelings for alex

reversethepolarity: oh shit that’s a great point

reversethepolarity: this is why you’re the smartest

hereswandawall: i know :) 

hereswandawall: and once we find out who the goddaughter is we can get her in on it too

gottagofast: this is just like the parent trap hehehehe

reversethepolarity: ok i’m in 

hereswandawall: most excellent

hereswandawall: now pietro we’re gonna hit the liquor store be downstairs in 10 

gottagofast: can i drive

reversethepolarity: no

hereswandawall: no 

sweatin like 2 sinners in church 

Thursday, September 22nd, 2:39pm 

chere: hypothetically 

sugah: hi babyyyyyyyyy 

chere: bonjour ma etoile 

sugah: what’s the tea 🍵

chere: let’s say. hypothetically. you just found out your best friend’s sort-of-girlfriend is likely using her as a rebound from the terrifying stage manager of the show your best friend is the lead in 

sugah: uh oh

chere: let’s also say your best friend has never been in a relationship before 

chere: and is very happy with her sort-of-girlfriend 

chere: even. giddy 

sugah: oh lord 

chere: let us also say that you and your bestie recently had a big fight about relationships and her not understanding yours

chere: so this is. hypothetically. an extremely tense subject right now 

chere: i will also emphasize that the hypothetical stage manager and the hypothetical sort-of-girlfriend are Terrifying 

chere: and probably work with the mob 

sugah: i mean i don’t know about that 

sugah: but i got contacts i can look into it if you want 

chere: hypothetically that’s probably a good idea

sugah: hypothetically hypothetically 

chere: now here’s the big question

chere: do you tell your best friend that she’s being used

sugah: well we got a couple of options here chere

sugah: your hypothetical best friend is pretty tough n i think she can handle it 

sugah: but first we gotta sort out this rumor

sugah: i’m thinkin you need to confirm with this sort-of-girlfriend if the information is true 

chere: very true baby 

chere: but again

chere: she is terrifying 

sugah: i’m here to help though 

chere: oh???

sugah: i can sneak around and see what exactly she’s up to 

sugah: and definitely look into whether she’s actually in the mob or not 

sugah: i can keep an eye on the stage manager too if you want

chere: you know you wouldn’t be gettin paid for this like you do with the guild

sugah: i know

sugah: but i love you and i know how much your hypothetical best friend is important to you 

sugah: and i don’t want either of you gettin hurt

chere: this is a bad idea

sugah: probably

chere: but alright

chere: meet me tonight and i’ll give you their names

sugah: never put it in writing

sugah: atta girl!!!!!! 

chere: you’re a dork 

sugah: merci beaucoup 🩷

hometown schmoetown

Thursday, September 22nd, 3:03pm 

noteasybeingreen: text ur bf we have work to do 

burningringofire: Not my boyfriend!!! 

burningringofire: What are you up to 

noteasybeingreen: more like what’s wanda up to 

burningringofire: Wanda scares me 

noteasybeingreen: don’t tell her this but. same 

burningringofire: I KNEW IT 

noteasybeingreen: I WILL GUT YOU SUMMERS

burningringofire: DO IT COWARD 

burningringofire: Anyway what’s the mission 

noteasybeingreen: we’re gonna set up my dad and professor xavier 

burningringofire: Hank’s poli sci teacher???? 

noteasybeingreen: yup

burningringofire: I’m down for mischief

burningringofire: What do you need me to do 

noteasybeingreen: get hank to agree to our matchmaking scheme 

noteasybeingreen: and potentially jeopardize his morals by one day locking them in a closet

burningringofire: Ok I feel it’s important to remind you that Hank is a nerd

burningringofire: He’s not gonna go for that

noteasybeingreen: we need this to work

noteasybeingreen: any means necessary alex 

burningringofire: Lorna this is unhinged

noteasybeingreen: don’t make me call wanda

burningringofire: OKAY FINE 

noteasybeingreen: ANY. MEANS. NECESSARY. 

your brother is an idiot

Thursday, September 22nd, 3:10pm 

Alex Summers: You want me to succeed right 

Hank McCoy: Of course!! 

Alex Summers: And you don’t want me to get killed by my best friend and her maybe psychic definitely crazy sister right 

Hank McCoy: Ok, where is this going? 

Alex Summers: You know your poli sci professor 

Alex Summers: The bald one 

Hank McCoy: What does your friend want with Professor Xavier??? 

Alex Summers: She and her siblings are trying to set him up with their dad 

Alex Summers: He works there too

Hank McCoy: Wait, seriously? 

Hank McCoy: That’s one hell of a coincidence.  

Alex Summers: I know right

Alex Summers: Idk if you know him but he’s German, wears turtlenecks, looks a bit like Gandalf, and when he smiles you can hear the Jaws theme 

Hank McCoy: PROFESSOR LEHNSHERR???????? 

Alex Summers: YES 

Hank McCoy: YOUR FRIEND’S DAD IS ERIK LEHNSHERR??????????????

Alex Summers: YES

Hank McCoy: But Prof Lehnsherr is the honest-to-god Regina George of the Humanities and Social Sciences Department!!

Hank McCoy: Full on “she punched me in the face, it was awesome”!!!!

Hank McCoy: Every fresher that comes into his class comes out wearing a turtleneck!!!

Alex Summers: You’ve watched Mean Girls?? 

Hank McCoy: I’m a 21 year-old gay man, Alex. 

Hank McCoy: Of course I’ve watched Mean Girls.

Alex Summers: You’re gay???

Hank McCoy: Will that be a problem? 

Alex Summers: NO NO NO I’M BI DW 

Hank McCoy: Really? 

Alex Summers: Yeah!! 

Alex Summers: You’re not biphobic or anything right 

Hank McCoy: Absolutely not!!! I’m just glad to see we have something else in common. 

Alex Summers: Besides Scott?? 

Hank McCoy: Well that, yes, but also our similarly loyal and passionate dispositions. Granted, your passion is more on the creative side, whereas mine is more scientific, but we are both equally passionate about our loved ones. 

Hank McCoy: And we both love Star Wars and cooking, if memory serves. 

Alex Summers: Yeah, we do 

Alex Summers: And another thing

Hank McCoy: Yes? 

Alex Summers: We both like a bit of trouble 

Hank McCoy: You think so? 

Alex Summers: Duh 

Alex Summers: You have to, to like me 

Hank McCoy: I don’t think you’re trouble, Alex. 

Alex Summers: Don’t be stupid bozo 

Hank McCoy: I’m serious. Maybe that’s what your foster parents, teachers, and the police have told you, but they’re wrong. They’re refusing to see how intelligent and kind you can be. 

3:45pm 

Alex Summers: Yeah whatever 

Alex Summers: So are you gonna help me set up these two old men or not 

Hank McCoy: I know I just said I don’t like trouble, but…I’m in. 

Alex Summers: YES HANK 

hometown schmoetown

Thursday, September 22nd, 3:50pm 

burningringofire: Hank is gay 

burningringofire: And he’s way too fucking nice to me 

noteasybeingreen: so you’re frustrated that he has faith in you i assume

burningringofire: Look what he said 

burningringofire: screenshot.jpg

noteasybeingreen: shit

burningringofire: Yeah 

noteasybeingreen: try not to have a crisis about it 

burningringofire: Too late 

set fire to the rain (adele) 

Thursday, September 22nd, 4:15pm 

orororoyourboat: Scheme time. 

jncojean: PLEASE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON 😭

xavier’s poli sci! 

Thursday, September 22nd, 4:17pm 

orororoyourboat: Hey, everyone! I was thinking– we should all meet up for drinks tomorrow night. I think it would be good for us to bond as a class before marks tear us apart. How about the Hellfire Club at 8?

Chapter Text

set fire to the rain (adele) 

Thursday, September 22nd, 4:18pm

jncojean: This is EXTREMELY suspicious 

orororoyourboat: Good. 

orororoyourboat: You’re coming to Hellfire. 

jncojean: How dare you weaponize my curiosity against me 

orororoyourboat: :) 

orororoyourboat: Come over to mine for pre-s 

orororoyourboat: And borrow some clothes from Maddie

jncojean: I’m side-eyeing you just so you know 

orororoyourboat: Be there at 6:45 mwah 😘

jncojean: I hate it when you have a mission

jncojean: This is terrifying 😭 

future cover of time

(members: Hank McCoy and Warren Worthington III) 

Thursday, September 22nd, 4:20pm

brains: Do you know Professor Lehnsherr? 

brawn: DO I????? 

brawn: GILF to end all GILFs 

brawn: My hall pass 

brawn: My future sugar daddy 

brawn: Though to be fair I’m a nepo baby and he’s a humanities professor, so I’d more likely be HIS sugar daddy 

brawn: Which is fine by me

brawn: I’ll buy him as many turtlenecks as his heart desires

brawn: Rumour has it he spends his weekends hunting down neo-Nazis

brawn: Which is so fucking hot 

brawn: Need to see him covered in blood YESTERDAY 

brains: I’ll stop you right there.

brains: Alex’s best friend and her sister are plotting to set Professor Lehnsherr up with Professor Xavier. 

brawn: Great so now I have to drop kick Xavier 

brawn: Lehnsherr is MINE

brawn: ALSO 

brawn: Isn’t Lorna in California????? 

brains: Yes. 

brains: But. 

brawn: Hank did you bring me tea 

brains: I did.

brawn: JUST FOR ME?????? 

brains: Just for you!

brawn: AWWW HANKY PANKYYYYYY

brawn: You flatter me 

brains: Any time 👏

brains: Warwar

brawn: …

brawn: Well played 

brains: Thank you 😌

brains: That’s beside the point– Lorna has literal skin in the game. 

brains: Professor Lehnsherr is her father!!!! 

brawn: THE FUCK? 

brains: PRECISELY! 

brawn: Wait 

brawn: Does that mean her sister is Wanda “eats people” Maximoff???

brains: YES!!!!

brawn: Hank I literally owe you a LIFE DEBT for bringing this information to my attention 

brawn: Unfortunate that I’ll have to slash Xavier’s tires as a result but 

brains: Well, you don’t have to.

brawn: No I do 

brawn: Does Scott know? 

brains: No, I didn’t want to disclose Alex’s private academic information.

brains: Not that I think Scott would ever judge Alex for needing tutoring, but I felt it would be better to let Alex make that decision. 

brains: It’s not unreasonable to keep this between Alex and I, is it? 

brains: Scott is one of my best friends, and I don’t want to betray his trust, but Alex has a right to his privacy as one of my students. 

brains: I’m sure Scott would understand this.

brawn: Mate I was asking if Scott knows that Lehnsherr is Lorna’s dad 

brains: Oh.

brains: I’m not sure, actually. I didn’t ask.

brawn: But no, I don’t think Scott would care that you’re tutoring Alex 

brawn: As long as that’s all this is 

brains: What else would it be? 

brawn: No clue

brawn: Just saying

4:48pm 

brains: Alex is bi.

brawn: Yeah, I saw his pride post last summer! 

brawn: Did he bring it up??

brains: I told him I’m gay, and he told me he’s bi.

brawn: Nice!! 

brawn: Love queer bonding!! 

brains: It surprised me a bit.

brawn: Really? 

gentlemen prefer twinks 

Thursday, September 22nd, 4:50pm 

nepobaby: ABOUT TO SCAPEGOAT YOU FOR THE PLOT PLEASE FORGIVE ME 

iceicebaby: WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING 

future cover of time 

Thursday, September 22nd, 4:51pm

brawn: I knew back in sophomore year of high school 

brawn: Remember that massive crush he used to have on Bobby? 

Read 4:52pm

gentlemen prefer twinks 

Thursday, September 22nd, 4:52pm

nepobaby: screenshot.jpg  

nepobaby: If Hank is weird to you next time you see him it is 10000% my fault x 

iceicebaby: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS 

tomorrow (i love ya)  

(members: Charles Xavier and Jean Grey) 

Thursday, September 22nd, 5:00pm 

warbucks: Hello Dear, Professor Erik Lehnsherr and his children will be joining us for dinner tonight at 7:15. Is that alright? Love Charles 

annie: Sounds good! I’ll be there at 7 😊

warbucks: Jean, Wonderful! His daughter Wanda is about your age. I think you’ll get along marvelously. Love Charles 

annie: Awesome, I’m excited! See you soon! 🤗 

warbucks: Jean, See you soon! Love Charles 

gals being pals 

(members: Madelyne Pryor and Alison Blaire) 

Thursday, September 22nd, 5:02pm 

pryorengagement: hey! do you have any plans tmrw night? 

alibedazzlin: depends on what you’re about to suggest 

pryorengagement: ok great so you’ll have plans with me then 

alibedazzlin: okay go off!!

pryorengagement: we’ve done boba, we’ve done coffee…we’re running out of beverage-based dates to go on 

pryorengagement: and i thought, since tmrw’s friday and i’ve really liked going out with you

pryorengagement: we could get drinks at the hellfire club around 8? 

alibedazzlin: you’re buying

pryorengagement: fine by me 

pryorengagement: long island iced tea sound good? 

alibedazzlin: make it a manhattan 

pryorengagement: slay 

alibedazzlin: you’re dancing with me btw 

pryorengagement: oh?? 

alibedazzlin: i work gigs at hellfire all the time 

alibedazzlin: huge dancefloor with plenty of room

alibedazzlin: and i don’t plan to sit all night 

pryorengagement: i’ll brush up on my moves 

pryorengagement: i’m wearing black also!! if you want to coordinate

alibedazzlin: i’ll wear white 🤍

pryorengagement: perfect! i’ll pick you up at 7:45

alibedazzlin: i’ll be outside 

2 best friends…they might kiss

Thursday, September 22nd, 5:05pm 

bubbles: i am about to be the most seductive bitch on the planet

bubbles: in my element 

bubbles: dancing in my best sparkly white jumpsuit 

bubbles: body glitter EVERYWHERE 

bubbles: a manhattan in hand and a hot asf redhead on my arm 

bubbles: CAN I GET AN AYYYYYYYYY 

blossom: ayyyyyyyyyy

bubbles: maddie and i are going to the hellfire club tomorrow night and we! are! going! to! dance! 

bubbles: alexa play looking at me by sabrina carpenter!!!!!!!! 

bubbles: i WILL be packing a toothbrush because frankly if you dance with me and you DON’T want to fuck me you have no taste

blossom: tea!!! 

blossom: this’ll be your third date??

bubbles: yuhhhhhhhh i’m hyped 

blossom: wooo!!!! 

sweatin like 2 sinners in church

Thursday, September 22nd, 5:09pm 

chere: i feel like the most despicable person in the world

chere: ali’s so happy and i know it ain’t true 

chere: i can’t just watch her get her heart broken

sugah: we won’t let that happen 

sugah: and if you do decide to tell her i’ll guard you from the wrath of emma frost

chere: thank you baby

chere: but i shouldn’t ruin it for her until we’re 110 percent sure

sugah: lucky for you i’ve got a new strategy 

chere: ??

sugah: maddie’s got a sister

sugah: and we have her number

snitches get stitches 

Thursday, September 22nd, 5:30pm 

hereswandawall: t-minus 1 hour and 45 minutes until dinner 

gottagofast: time to dress dad to the NINES

hereswandawall: lorna we need you to facetime dad and distract him 

reversethepolarity: expand and explain

gottagofast: i need time to subtly rearrange his closet so that his better stuff is at the front

gottagofast: also i’m putting a pride flag pin on every single one of his suit lapels