Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

 Lilith had endured the torment of childbirth several times now – each time delivering the baby dead. It was her curse…and now she hoped it wouldn’t be his. Well, at least the baby was still moving inside him…so if it survived the birth…she did not want to get her hopes up too high. Lucifer’s hopes were high enough for them both.  What she had not accounted for was that Lucifer would be a terrible sufferer. He had watched her go through this…he was well warned it would not be a joy to endure. They had discussed the risks and the what-ifs time and time again…but she had a suspicion he had taken none of that seriously until the present moment.

Lucifer was, put bluntly, a perfect testament to “just because you can rig the game and get pregnant doesn’t mean you should”. The entire pregnancy really, really took it out of him. The labour hadn’t been his finest hour so far: his threshold for physical pain was incredibly low.

At every point in his ordeal, it had been pointed out that he could simply use his powers to relieve pain. No one would think any less of him, least of all her. She had done this after all during all her attempts to bring about their offspring. He could simply do this without feeling a thing.

But no. Objection, too proud. Too worried for the sake of their child…this was their final shot, after all (Lucifer’s words).

Too stupid, Lilith privately thought to herself.

Distraction was no longer an option…it hadn’t been for the majority of this ordeal. No more little rubber duckies sliding down the little bump it had been so easy to hide, now – they were all on the floor in various locations of the bed chamber where he had thrown them in agonised raged. He had not smiled, laughed, or cracked a stupid joke in hours. The tantrums, the tormented screams, the turbulent emotions…they all led up to this moment, where deep breathing was becoming a struggle.

It was clear that Lucifer had forgotten just about everything they had done and talked about to prepare them for the birth of their heir, so every time something different began to happen he would think things were going wrong and have a breakdown.

Keeping calm for the sake of himself and the baby? Impossible. No more moving around, because his legs gave out every time another contraction hit. He wanted to deliver in the water and he had therefore been confined to the specially manifested pool for hours on end…he refused to leave it, even when it was recommended by the healers.

And he would not let anyone touch him.

Now, Lilith loved Lucifer more than anything…she truly did, but it was very difficult to like him sometimes, and it was especially hard to sympathise with him now that he was being a hot-headed little idiot who for the whole ordeal would not let anybody touch him, even Lilith. She had long since stopped trying to make him comply or even comfort him.

She hadn’t said anything for a while, pinching the bridge of her nose as she knelt by the pool and listened to him cry and moan and groan and whine, trying to bear down when there was no confirmation of readiness to do so, and she could tell he wasn't doing it correctly, anyway. She wanted to tell him that...that he was exhausting himself for nothing. He had ordered silence in the room from everyone else…so no one spoke or made any noise except him.

It wasn’t embarrassment causing her to check out – it was anxiety and trying to work out why she felt like she was missing something. She wondered if that was because it wasn’t her trying it this time but…no, she certainly didn’t miss being the one to go through childbirth…what was it then? He sounded beyond the realms of exhausted, and petrified. But why? Couldn’t he simply use his magic to solve the pain situation and to help summon the strength for his body to birth, as she had? 

And then it hit her. Like a tonne of bricks in hit her. She needed to have a private conversation with her husband.

She left the side of the pool and beckoned the healing professionals to follow her to congregate beside the large double doors of the chamber.

“Camilla, take your leave. Give my husband and I some privacy…” she held her hand up as the group of healing professionals began to protest.

 “I understand your concerns…but it has now been almost a day of this…I fear you may all be out of your depth, and even I…but at least perhaps he might let me speak - he’s never going to comply with those who simply do not know how to persuade him. He’s the master of manipulation, after all…allegedly. He may be immune to persuasion from strangers…but not from me. Aside from that, he will not listen to those he does not trust. I am the only one here, or indeed in all of Heaven, Earth, and  the seven rings of Hell that he trusts.  I am sorry it has come to this. Please take your leave…but please be ready to return if called upon…”

The healing staff obliged very reluctantly. Lilith watched them go, then turned her attention to her screaming, writhing husband.

She stayed deadly silent as she observed him once again suffer through another contraction, gripping the side of the tub for grim death and trying to bear down, his other hand under the water between his legs feeling desperately for progress. He let his effort out with choked sob of resignation, putting his face on his arm in exhaustion, snivelling pathetically.

Trying to remain collected and calm, Lilith  approached the pool, and gently coaxed in her persuasive tones, “Luci dearest. It’s just you and me here now. Won’t you let me help you, my love? I can hear you’re trying to bear down, though I don't know that you're doing so correctly, and I’m wondering if that could be because you aren't ready yet. Might i check to see if you’re actually ready to do so-?“

Lucifer whined and shook his head in a frantic manner, his face still hidden on the arm leaning in the side of the pool. His hair was drenched in sweat and water from the pool, as was his face when he lifted it to look up at her, his eyes and nose running as he panted and panicked and stared up at Lilith helplessly. When he responded, his voice was filled with confusion, frustration and fear as well as agony. 

“I…CAN’T…I C-CANNOT DO THIS! WHY….WHY ISN’T IT WORKING? I’M OPEN. I KNOW I’M READY! AND THE URGE IS THERE! AND I GO WITH IT...BUT NOTHING'S FUCKING HAPPENING! I CAN FEEL IT…SO CLOSE…BUT IT’S NOT…IT KEEPS…IT WON’T MOVE…IT’S NOT COMING OUT OF ME, LILITH…I CAN’T, I CAN’T DO THIS!!! IT’S TOO FUCKING HARD! IT CANNOT BE MEANT TO FEEL SO IMPOSSIBLE!” 

“Lucifer, my darling, they call it labor for a reason. I need you to take a minute and BREATHE! You’re exhausting yourself!” Lilith tried to touch Lucifer’s arm, but he pulled it out of her grasp, his eyes filled with fire as he roared demonically in protest, “I TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES, DO NOT DARE FUCKING TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW!!!!”

“LUCI, CAN WE NOT?!” Lilith raised her voice, snapping back at Lucifer, “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! IF YOU AREN’T GOING TO LET ANYBODY ELSE HELP YOU, THEN PULL YOURSELF THE FUCK TOGETHER AND USE MAGIC TO HELP YOURSELF…THIS IS CLEARLY NOT WORKING WITHOUT IT-“

“I…I CAN’T! EVEN IF I WANTED TO, I C-COULDN’T!”

The guilty tone in his voice alongside the pain told her this was not only true, but he already had known that this might happen…she allowed him to work through the rest of his contraction before fixing him with a stern look that told him he better start explaining himself. He stared back, looking so vulnerable and pathetic and guilty as shit.

It began to spill out of him like a spiel…a spiel he had been rehearsing in his head for some time. The words she was afraid she was going to hear. 

“I…I’m sorry, Lil. I was p- pretty far along in the pregnancy by the time I realised I’d been getting w-weaker by the day, and with the labour pain especially, it’s like there’s s-some kind of block on accessing my ma-magic. I didn’t want to worry you…and I didn’t want to accept help in case intervention from another’s magic or medical assistance would cause something bad to happen to the baby…I just wanted to give this kid every chance of survival where the odds are usually against us, you know…but mainly I didn’t want you to worry…I also didn’t think that touching you so near the to birth would be good…because of the curse…just in case. So…yeah-”  

Lilith cut him off with a click of her tongue and a very dangerous cold look that told him to shut up. She chose her words carefully…or tried to.

“Well, as noble as that is, I would quite like to coparent with you…so if the baby survives but you die in childbirth, it’s going to be pretty fucking shit for us all, isn’t it?! How did you expect to get through this without assistance in such an exhausted and weakened state, and being so physically narrow, you stupid idiot? ”

The look on his face as he responded was of despair and frustration. 

“I d-d-didn’t know it would b-be this way. I th-thought…well…my magic isn’t available…but there’d be like the power that comes with the birthing process. I’m open…like completely. I know I am…I can feel it in there, it’s ready to come. But…it’s not coming down when I try to get it to. I am trying as hard as I physically can…but…ugh. I guess it’s not enough. I thought I would get like a primal ability to just fucking get on with it! You did! I remember it…and you were…fuck, you were so fucking strong every time you did this. But I feel like I’m weakening more and more with every minute.  Every time the pain and urge comes, it just feels like I can’t make my body do anything…the kid’s definitely still alive, I can feel the life in it…but I just dunno how it’s gonna…how I’m gonna do this…I thought I could handle it…figure it out on my own…but…”

He trailed off, and sniffled, refusing to look directly at her now, his face filled with guilt and resignation, “I was w-with you all the other times and I thought…well…I just thought I could…I mean, I didn’t know how powerless it would make me. I just c-can’t summon the strength that you seemed to when you did this…I thought…oh, I don’t know what I thought. I’m scared, Lil…I d-don’t actually kn-know what might happen to me…but I need you to promise me th-that whatever happens to me you will make sure our baby gets here, safe and alive, even if I have to die to make it happen. Break me in half if you have to-“

Lilith interrupted furiously, “Oh, of course, you’ve already resigned yourself to the worst outcome. Honestly, you’re so dramatic sometimes-“

He interrupted her with a loud, hollow laugh. 

“IMAGINE if I had said that to you while you were in labor?! And tell me, how is THAT a worse outcome than anything we have had before?! It would end in you having a living baby! SURELY that’s something?! If I d-die, at least the k-kid can carry on my legacy-“

She cut across him so loudly and fiercely he thought she might well murder him.  

“I WANT YOU AS WELL, YOU FOOL! AND IT’S YOU I WANT THE BABY FOR…FOR YOU TO KNOW UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FROM SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME…SO YOU CAN FIND THE PART OF YOU AGAIN THAT HEAVEN CRUELLY TOOK FROM YOU FOR SIMPLY WANTING TO TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT-“

“YEAH, well…maybe I’m tired of it, Lil! Tired of being in charge of working shit out! Tired of being the one who tries to do something for the greater good! Is this what I get for trying to break God’s rules again?!,” Lucifer shouted at her, his voice exhausted and so incredibly broken, new tears spilling down tired, pasty face. He began contracting again and she just let him get on with it.

She was livid, and took herself into the corner of the room to wipe away her frustrated and anxious tears as she listened to Lucifer screaming helplessly behind her.

As his screams died down again, she turned to face him once more, her face once more silently telling him to explain himself.

Lucifer continued where he had left off, his voice high and shaking.

 “I th-thought…God said unto the woman ‘with pain you shall bring forth children’. And he cursed you to give birth to dead children. I thought I cracked the code…take part of each of us but…put the baby in me instead of you, let me grow it, and birth it, so it would be living…and that way, well…I mean, I’m a man. I just thought…why would there be pain? I…I assumed…there’d be no pain…or like, less pain? I don’t know. But there’s a lot of pain. Too much pain. And I don’t even KNOW if I’ll manage to negate your curse here, either. Lil, I’m just so SCARED to fail you…ah, fuck…FUCK! I’M DYING! UUUUUUUHHHH!”

His contraction had come back much faster than before. She sighed, feeling the ice in her heart melt as she knelt beside the pool to try to intervene and help a little.

“BREATHE, Lucifer! Breathe through the pain! Come on, now, you’re really not trying to help yourself! Hey! Hey, hey, hey…no…no, shhhh, Lucifer listen to me! Look at me darling! Look at me…breathe with me, sweetheart…now come on…we can figure this out...you just need to be calm..." 

Lilith forced Lucifer to keep eye contact with her as she coached him through his breathing, keeping her breathing very deliberate as well as deep, even and steady, so he could try to follow it, rubbing his back comfortingly. 

However, halfway through his contraction she felt something happening within her. It was in embracing him, their foreheads touching, that she suddenly felt something primal and familiar building inside her. And that’s when she realised. She was the key to this. The final piece to his puzzle.

As an experiment, she fed a little of her power into him, forcing her hand into his and locking her fingers firmly in his. The sounds that came from him then were precisely what she had hoped – the sounds of productivity. He broke the eye contact with her and tried to fight her off but she held him, feeding him a little more power. She kept feeding him power…and the sounds of productivity continued. Less screaming and complaining,  more low, long, forceful groans. She placed a gentle hand on his belly, feeling to her relief all the correct muscles in use. He was doing it. On his last release of effort, the sound that came from him told her he was feeling pressure and pain closer to the surface now. She noticed also that the water was clouding with golden blood.. It would work this way…only together could they make this work successfully. His body…her strength and power.

“I just…did I?! Did…did I just actually do something?! H-How?! Where the FUCK did th-that come from?!!” he gasped, feeling a hard shift downwards happening inside him, looking absolutely petrified at the new pains he was experiencing, his eyes widening as he reached between his legs with his free hand, obviously feeling much more, much closer to the opening than he had a moment ago “oh GOD, no!  No, no, no! No! I…d-don’t wanna d-do it! I ch-change my mind! Let it stay in! FUCK THIS SHIT!"

Lilith took his face in her hands and kissed his forehead, then stared deep into his eyes with a knowing smile, communicating quickly and firmly in a gentle, nurturing voice to prepare him for what she knew had to happen next. 

“Lucifer, sweetheart…don’t be scared, you’re doing it. I just gave you a little more power a moment ago…and that helped make progress. I am sorry I didn’t ask for your consent to try that but it clearly is what you need to see this through-“

“B-But that's a hard head in there…and I’m meant to b-be able to squeeze that out of THIS HOLE?! B-but the hole isn’t b-big enough?!” he interrupted her, his voice high and panicked, a shellshocked look on his face, “and...what? What do you mean you used your power? What about …your curse?…surely this is going t-to end the way it always has, every time,“ Lucifer shook his head, his eyes filled with more fear than ever, “I feel like the outcome will be the same…what if it h-happens again?! What if I let you down?! And I…I don’t know if I’ll cope if all this was for nothing, I don’t know how you kept going after losing so many-“

“Stop that, Lucifer…I need you to not think like that right now…” 

Lilith’s shook her head, trying to keep her voice even - she knew she would have to be brave for them both here. She had no idea…she simply had to shake off her tears and uncertainty and be the one in control. 

“The answer is that I don’t know what’s going to happen. We simply must cope with whatever outcome, as we always have done before now. The baby isn’t budging without my help, clearly.  I can’t make the pain stop. The only way out of this is through it, but I can help you get through it in one piece…and if the baby is born alive, that I am afraid we now must consider a bonus…but you need help. May I come into the water with you so I can assist you better? I’d like you to focus your efforts on actually birthing…I will feed you power and strength, and help with delivery…but I need to accompany you in the water if you’re not going to get out of it. May I come in?”

Lucifer, feeling he had run out of options and at this point desperate for an end to his suffering, nodded in consent, non-verbal with panic now because as it turns out, more petrifying than no progress was progress happening suddenly and without warning.

Lilith stripped her clothes from her body quickly and manifested herself into the tub in an instant. She embraced him tightly, feeling him melt dependently into her. He was shaking all over with anxiety, pain and adrenaline. She moved between his shaking legs, placing a comforting hand on his swollen belly to make sure he wasn’t contracting before she asked for permission to assess him.

“Can I?” She asked him gently, waiting for the nod before moving her hand between his legs. She could feel the top of the baby’s head, ready to crown.

“Oh Luci, you’re doing so well, the head is right here-"

"I fucking KNOW THAT ALREADY! I CANNOT DO TH-THIS?! THE HOLE IS TOO FUCKING SMALL!"

"Lucifer, STOP PANICKING! It's going to be okay, you're not doing this by yourself! The hole is big enough…you must trust your body. With my help, you will do this. Together we can have the baby out in two or three more contractions, but you have to stay focused and work with me – your body, your effort, my power, my strength,” she murmured gently, rubbing her husband’s shaking leg comfortingly, “I know the pain and pressure you’re feeling, I know, Apple Pie…it is really overwhelming, but you can’t get scared, okay? You will need to bare a little more of it for just a few minutes longer, alright?  I need you to be brave and work with me now…when your contraction comes back and you get the urge to push, grab onto me, take a deep breath and push down through all that pressure and pain, as long and as hard as you can. I will give you the power you need…okay?  No more bullshit, sweetie this is it, now. You have made it through so much worse than this…we can do this.” 

Lucifer once more nodded, whimpering, bracing himself and grabbing her upper arm. He dug his nails in as he felt the pain build. She began feeding her power to him in a steady supply, and he responded with a high, whining sound of pure torture and panic in his throat that was clearly not productive. Lilith shook her head.

“Lucifer, I said no more bullshit. You have to push!…come on now. Use the pain to help you -  I’m giving you as much power as I dare to…you must work with me! Push!”

Lucifer groaned in misery, his nails digging into her arm more and drawing blood as he tremulously took the deepest breath he could muster, pushing with an octave fluctuating scream. She held her breath with him, giving him a steady supply of magical strength to assist his effort. 

She did not even flinch at his nails penetrating her skin, knowing it wasn’t even half of the pain he was going through…for that much she had also endured more than once herself. Tears streamed down his agonised face as he cried out brokenly, releasing his effort as a hiss through his clenched teeth, whining and shaking his head frantically, “GOD DAMNIT! NO! NO…I CAN’T DO IT! I CAN’T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS! I CAN’T!!! FUCK IT! I’M NOT GONNA DO THIS! MAKE IT STOP, I CAN’T PUSH ANYMORE! THE PAIN! I CAN’T!”

“Lucifer, you have to, sweetheart! The head is starting to crown now. I know how it feels - you feel like you’re drowning in the pressure and pain, but that just means what you’re doing is working… you have to be brave and keep pushing through all this. I know you can do this. Try again, dearest, big push for me!” Lilith encouraged him gently but firmly, pulling one of her husband’s legs onto her hip to try to make more space to assist better with the delivery of the head. She could feel that it would still be a pretty tight squeeze but now as he pushed she could feel more of the head emerging painfully slowly. She felt tears in her eyes as he buried his face in her shoulder and screamed harrowingly through the beginning of the burning sensation and almighty pressure she knew he would be feeling now as the head came slowly down.

She coached him encouragingly through it, keeping her voice gentle, comforting but firm. 

“I know it hurts, dearest love, I know, I know, I know, lot’s of burning and stretching…it means you’re almost there…every effort is making space for baby…go again, big push for me. Perfect. Keep it coming. Good! You’re really moving baby down now, and again…use the pressure! Lucifer, don’t stop! You have to push through the pain-“

“OW LIL, IT HUUUURTS SO BAD!!! FUUUUUCK!!! GET THIS LITTLE ASSHOLE OUTTA ME! GET. IT. OUT! I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE! IT’S IMPOSSIBLE!” He screamed agonisingly, his voice fluctuating between whining and demonic as his finger nails dug deep into the flesh of her arm. Lilith bit back any sounds of pain she felt like making, though he could feel her flesh splitting, his nails cutting her like small knives. 

“You are already doing it….it’s not impossible - you’re almost there, just a little more. Push again, my darling,” she murmured in his ear supportively, her voice cracking slightly with emotion, feeling a little sweat breaking on her forehead at the effort of feeding him a consistent supply of power. He did try again but almost immediately let his effort go with a cry of agony and defeat as he felt the baby retreat back inside him an inch as his contraction ebbed away. 

The look on his face was one of true torture as he lifted his head off her shoulder, his lip bleeding from his teeth digging into it as he whined loudly in panicked protest, shaking his head frantically, “WHY?! WHY DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?! WHAT THE FUUUCK?! IT WENT BACK IN?! ALL THAT EFFORT FOR FUCKING WHAT?! I C-CAN’T GET IT OUT! I CAN’T DO IT!!!”

Lilith tried her best to sooth him and reassure him.

“Shhhh Lucifer, it’s okay, this happens…this is normal! It takes a couple of tries to make the space big enough for the head to come through…just take a small break to recover and breathe until your next contraction, and then I can coach you through pushing-“

“NO! NO MORE! I’M SO FUCKING TIRED! I’M SORRY LIL! I CAAAAAAN’T! GEDDIT OUTTA ME!!! RIP IT OUT!!! I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!!!”

She felt swept up in his desperation, but managed to keep her cool. 

“Please don’t panic right now, Lucifer! I know you're finding it hard, but you’re doing so well sweetheart. Shhhh, listen to me, you have to relax and breathe like you’d want the baby to between contractions…slow, deep breaths…breathe…breathe…you’re okay…I’m here to help…I’ll try to give you even more power if I can…I promise, we will get this baby here in no time. It’s going to be over so, so soon so long as both of us can keep up this effort,” Lilith whispered directly into his ear as he sobbed hopelessly into her neck. He could feel him trying to regain control of his breathing as she spoke to him…but he didn’t get much of a chance because it didn’t take long for his contraction to come back. 

She felt a swell of pride as in response to the pain returning, Lucifer drew a shuddering, gasping breath, pushing with a growling scream that she felt was beginning to produce results again, his face once more buried in the nook between her neck and shoulder. 

Lilith continued to encourage, comfort and coach her husband kindly but firmly over his screams as she fed him a little more power, “Good, sweetheart, but give me more! Come on, you can do better than that, Lucifer!… more than that…more…even more! That’s it! Good! Keep that push coming for me! Go on, go on! Good work! Perfect, Apple Pie! You’re doing it! Big breath in and give me the same again! More…more…keep going…keep going, go on…good!…and again, right back into it, as hard as you can…right there…push, push, push. Don’t lose it -“

“OOOOOH OOOOOWWWW!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT, NOOOOO! IT BURNS!!! IT BURNS SO FUCKING BAAAAD! OW OOOOOOW! NOOOO! OH MY GOD PLEASE MAKE IT STOOOOOOP!!! PLEEEEASE?!”  

He sounded like someone on the edge of a psychotic break in that moment, being driven mad by the agony. But she knew he was almost there, so once more she persevered with him, her voice kind but serious and firm. 

“Don’t lose focus! Push through it, come on! I know it’s a lot, but you have to keep pushing…the burning is safe…don’t panic now…you’re safe, it’s okay! It’s only this bad for a tiny while! If you push now it will be over in less than a minute, I promise! The widest part of the head is stretching everything out right now, that’s all you’re feeling…you’re feeling the baby trying to come out - you need to help! Yeah, there you go! That’s it! Scream through the burn if it helps!” 

"OOOOOH FUCK! FUUUUUCK! MOTHER FUUUUUCKING FUCK! UUUUUUUGH! COME OOOON, YOU LITTLE SON OF A BITCH! OUT! GET OOOOOOOUT! GEDDOOOOOUUUUT!” 

"That’s it…really go for it!” Lilith continued to encourage, glad he had found a way to force himself to push through the pain, "INCREDIBLE job, sweetheart, keep going…more…and again, just the same again…perfect…Keep it coming…keep it coming…good…almost there…great work, my darling…stop, now...stop pushing and pant, little breathes…like you’re blowing out a thousand candles individually…little breaths…pant, pant, pant…”

His panting was so hysterical and overwhelmingly full of pain that she nearly broken down once more…she could feel the little head inching more and more into her hands with each harrowing pant, knowing every bit of the agony of that sensation and the painful slowness.

”OH. COME. ON!  GEDDOUT, PLEASE BABY! PLEEEEHHEEEEASE!” 

Lilith’s heart raced, knowing how close they were to finding out if they had managed to produce a living child. 

”It’s coming…just relax and keep doing what you’re doing…let it come through…good…keep it coming…almost there…great job…ease it out…little push for the chin…little push…great job, here it comes! Stop! Stop pushing, Lucifer! Just breathe!"

The sound that left him was like nothing she had heard before, truly demonic and filled with trauma, rage and agony. She knew the feeling well…

“Lucifer, my strong, brave darling, incredible work! That's the head out! Slow your breathing now, beloved. Take a moment…relax-“

“FUCKING OW! MOTHER FUCKER, SON OF MOTHERFUCKING C*** WHORE BITCH! FUUUUUCK! BIIIIITCH! YOU RELAX?! THAT WAS…T-TOO. FUCKING. MUCH?! WHAT THE ACTUAL F-FUCK?!” he stared at her, his eyes streaming tears and bloodshot from the effort, his voice hoarse and full of exhaustion and agony and venom as he tried to catch his breath. Lilith nodded in understanding, feeling very disingenuous as she tried to sooth him – for she knew soothing someone who had just pushed a full head out of them was not straightforward (speaking as someone who had done it before). She too was exhausted, hoping the last of the power she had in her was enough to see him through. 

Still, she persevered with him. 

“Breathe Lucifer! I know, believe me…I do…they don’t call that ‘the ring of fire’ for no reason. Nothing could have prepared you for that, I’m sure. I promise it doesn’t get any worse than that…please try to relax for a moment, sweetheart. Not much longer to endure. Shhhhh, Lucifer, please try to breathe…it’s okay! It’s okay! Just breathe…let’s just relax for a minute and wait for the next contraction-“

No amount of persuasion verbally could comfort him or calm him.

“THIS IS NOT FUCKING OKAY! WHAT IN HELL’S SEVEN RINGS WAS THAT?! I THINK I JUST FELT SOMETHING BREAK INSIDE ME!!! THIS IS SO FAR FROM BEING ANYTHING THAT RESEMBLES “OKAY”!?!! What?! Oh…oh, our baby! Oh Lil…our b-baby…”

His voice changed from demonic rage to soft and tearful as Lilith changed her strategy, and took his hand in hers and guided it under the water to where she was supporting the little head, letting him feel all the little features.  He sobbed joyfully as he felt a little nose, tiny rosebud lips and then a small ear, some soft, curly hair. He raised his head to look at Lilith, smiling for the first time in hours a pained, exhausted smile, panting and sobbing, and crying tears of joy. Because the baby felt alive. 

“Can…can you feel it? Feel who you’re doing this all for? So, so near to being in our arms, Lucifer…almost here. It f-feels so soft…and warm…and alive…” Lilith whispered, her voice thick with multiple  emotions as she put her lips against her husband’s forehead, giving him a gentle, comforting kiss there, “my strong, brave dearest love…I’m so proud of you, you’re doing it…”

“We’re d-doing it…I couldn’t do th-this without y-you, babe…” he corrected her, his voice a croaky whisper now, trying to breathe deeply again as his quivering lips met hers briefly as her tired eyes starred deeply into his pained, exhausted ones, “g-going through this m-makes me f-feel so much more in awe of y-you…God, Lil, I love you…so much…I d-don’t wanna get my hopes up but…I definitely think this time we got a live one. I really - oh no…hmmm…Lil! Lil, contraction…FUCKING OW! NOOOOO! HELP ME! PLEASE HELP ME!! GET IT OUT OF ME, LILITH! GET IT OOOOUUUUT!”

He threw himself against Lilith, crying desperately into her shoulder and begging for the end to his suffering.

“Lucifer, Just listen to me now, my love…do not push for a moment…deep breaths for me. Hold onto me…just breathe, and wait for me to tell you to push again! I’m just helping get the baby into the right position for the most straightforward delivery…you’re so narrow, I don’t want the shoulders to get stuck, if we can help it…please try to relax yourself as much as possible…”

Lucifer did manage to do as he was told, breathing shakily and crying through the pain into her neck as he gripped onto her tightly, now digging all his fingers of both his hands  into each of her upper arms.

Once more giving him her power, she guided the baby to turn, hoping and praying his narrow hips wouldn’t pose a problem for the birth of the shoulders. 

“Alright…now, one final effort to free the shoulders, Lucifer! With EVERYTHING you have in you! Big push! Right down!”

The primal growling scream that came from him told her he was trying with every fibre of his being he could muster. It took several attempts, and a lot of encouragement and extra power from Lilith, some manoeuvring which involved Lilith having to locate the baby’s shoulder inside him and guide it, and much distress. His screaming into her neck and shoulder during this time was a sound of pure torment and distress. However, at long last with a final almighty effort, and with the water turning bright gold with angelic blood, Lucifer let out a long, high and anguished wail of fractured agony which seemed to shake the entire palace as the baby’s shoulders came free and he felt the rest of the little being slip out of him. He cried traumatically, his work done, his sobs wracking his broken body. The pain radiating in his back and pelvis scared him less than the fact he suddenly lost a bit of the  feeling in his legs the moment the child was free. 

But nothing mattered then at that precise moment but making sure the baby was okay. His fingers of one hand left her bloodied arm (he had to remain holding onto her to keep himself upright)  and dived below the surface of the golden water to meet hers as together they caught their baby, moving the little being to the surface of the golden water, both breathlessly hopeful for the child to be alive and well.

And there it was. The sound of new life they hoped to hear.

Immediately, the baby; a little girl, her demonic featuring briefly manifesting when she came above the water, including horns, tail and hoof feet, before disappearing to reveal her more human features (spitting image of her father) began to fuss loudly in their hands, her wails full of life and trauma, healthy and energetic. A living baby of their own creation, in their arms, safe and sound.  

“Yes! Yes! Oh Lucifer, you clever man! You’ve done it! It’s alive! It’s…oh Luci, a baby girl! We have a daughter! Hello, sweetheart...hello, little one…y-you’re so tiny…oh, L-Lucifer…she’s so perfect…y-you did it…you actually did it! We've d-done it!”

Lilith began to sob joyfully, panting for breath from the effort of keeping up the power and strength she provided to get her husband through his ordeal, while Lucifer cried traumatically into her neck, tried to catch his breath too and remained non verbal, so overwhelmed and taken aback by the cries of life of the little thing that had come out of his body, though his sobs were that of pure joy. He pulled up his weary head, and watched his wife became smitten with their daughter as they held her, cried together, watched her first moments and listened to her cry her first cries. A perfect few seconds. 

But Lucifer felt himself getting farther and farther away. He felt himself weakening more, rapidly losing feeling in his feet and legs. His vision began to blur, a sign he might be starting to lose consciousness. He had to communicate quickly, but did not want to alarm his wife too much when she was so happy for the first time in so long.

Lucifer let go of the baby, pressing her into Lilith’s body with what little energy he could muster so the baby could have skin-to-skin contact with her mother immediately. He found his voice, forcing himself to speak as quickly and calmly as he could muster in the circumstances, his voice thin and croaky.

“Here…you t-take her. Hold her, bond with her …feed her if you can…she’s probably hungry after everything sh-she’s been through…”

“Lucifer…sweetheart…but you just birthed her…you need to bond with her, too-“

“She needs y-you more, n-now. Sh-She needs to know you,” he whispered hoarsely, trying to keep his voice even and hide his pain and worry about himself as he spoke,  “she needs to know you…to trust you the m-most. She has to feed from you, after all…I can’t do that. I w-was just the vessel. She…she needs you most of all. She’s your daughter, Lil. Take her. Bond with her-“

Lilith shook her head, moving closer to Lucifer so they were embracing slightly, both skin to skin with the baby.

“Lucifer, our daughter. What are you doing? The bond needs to be between us all…she’s still attached to you, for goodness sake-“ she told him, observing the golden. pulsating chord between father and baby. She didn’t know what she said, but whatever it was it sent him over the edge, him still shaking in her embrace from adrenaline and whimpering in pain, completely falling apart in her arms, “Lucifer, my darling…oh, Apple Pie, it’s okay. It’s over now…she’s alive…and you’re alright-“ 

He interrupted her, trying not to let her hear fear in his voice more than urgency.

“I…yeah, n-no I’m not Lilith.. I think something might be really wrong. Uuuuh…the pain in my lower half is pretty bad…and…and I can’t really move my legs right now or feel them…so…I think there might be some bones broken or nerves damaged or something that it’s gonna take a while for me to heal myself from…hopefully if…when my magic comes back…hey…no Lil, hey, don’t cry, please don’t-“

“Oh, Lucifer, no, my beloved! Are you…wait…is this too m-much blood?! Are you bleeding out?!” 

The look on Lilith’s face was that of horror as she realised the water was opaque with golden blood. She was frozen in fear, breaking down in tears and blaming herself over and over again. Lucifer tried to comfort his wife despite feeling more and more faint by the second. 

“Lilith, listen to m-me, baby…please listen, you have to keep it together for our d-daughter, now…w-we need to severe the chord f-first to make sure w-we don’t b-both end up de-“ 

She cut across him, absolutely hysterical. 

“LUCIFER, SHUT UP! STOP TALKING, I don’t want to hear it! I should have prevented this…you tried to tell me…y-you did say it felt like it w-would break you…I didn’t listen…I could have done more to prevent this! I shouldn’t have sent away the healers! We could have tried delivering you in a different position…I’m so, s-so sorry!-“

“Lilith, no, it…it just happened, you didn’t do this, it just happened…hey, no, don’t cry, babe. Shhh, no, hey…it’s fine. You did everything right…please don’t worry about me! I need you to be strong now for me and especially for our daughter, because there’s a small chance I might…ugh…no…I'm gonna try to live…but Lil, look after our daughter, okay? Could you c-call someone to h-help, p-please? As quick as you can-”

”WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! YOU CAN’T JUST TRY TO LIVE! LUCIFER, YOU MUST!!! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR THIS!”

“Shhhh Lilith, you’re okay…it’s going to be okay, no matter what! I’ll…I’m sure I will be fine! And even if I’m not, in the end, You cannot go blaming yourself - you did EVERYTHING right, I promise you, babe, everything and more! I couldn’t have done this without you doing all the things you did just now! You were so brilliant! But I need you to keep being brilliant… please, you n-need to cut the chord as soon as possible. I c-can’t move, and I’m in so much pain right now and I can’t feel my legs, so I need you to do a few more things for me - get me out of here, and look after the baby…and  c-call the healers back to give me something to put me out long enough so I can heal in peace and without pain, and to make sure our daughter is well. I’m going to put my arms around your neck so you can pull me out of here…don’t panic if I scream, just get me out of here. Please, Lil...it's g-getting s-so dark in here..."

Finally, snapping out of her panic enough to be practical, Lilith nodded, sobbing quietly and adjusting the baby in her arms to make sure she was safe. She then allowed Lucifer to put his arms around her neck, trying to not pay attention to how much she could feel him shaking...or how much she was shaking herself from both exhaustion and sheer terror. Even as she looked at him, his eyes were glazing over and rolling back in his head. 

“Hold onto me, d-dearest love…just hold onto me and I’ll try m-my best not to injure you any further when I l-lift you out…brace yourself, and try and stay conscious for me, sweetheart…because you will fall if you don’t and I don’t really know what I’d do if that happened…alright…here we go…” 

 Lucifer felt himself being lifted out of the golden water. The warmth of the pool had helped in easing the agony of labour a bit, and obviously the pain he now felt radiating in his pelvic region amplified with the absence of the water. He cried out in pain, louder than the cries of their newborn, who was obviously sensing something was wrong. His own scream of pain and the crying of the baby was the last thing he heard before he blacked out.

Chapter Text

When Lucifer awoke, he was in the familiar comfort of the large, soft bed in the same chamber as he had delivered the baby in. The pool was gone. The smell of lavender and other calming herbs filled the room. He felt himself stronger…not altogether what he was before all this just yet, but certainly stronger than he had been in some time, and especially stronger than he had been before he had passed out.

He felt fingers in his hair, and looked to his left to see Lilith laying asleep next to him, her hand in his hair. Their newborn daughter lay asleep on her chest, clearly milk drunk, for Lilith’s breast was still exposed. He smiled, chuckling quietly at the sight.

He found himself to be wearing his favourite ducky nightshirt and very loose fitting pyjama pants. He could feel that things weren’t quite back to normal down below where his body had formed the space to allow birth to take place, but that his bones were healed, and his belly was significantly reduced in size. He had some (quite stiff and very painful) feeling and movement back in his feet and legs…he supposed Lilith must have followed instructions and had healers come back to check everything was fine with the baby, and to make sure he would stay out for long enough for his magic to return and heal him.

He wondered how long he had been out. He felt…alright, all things considered. He remembered so much of the ordeal, but relatively little of the pain of childbirth. He supposed that was part of it. He tried to sit, and well, it didn’t hurt that much to sit up…that was okay. He could half sit, half lie down…Not bad. Enough to be able to interact with his daughter for the first time. 

It was then that, serendipitously, the baby started stirring a little…not enough to wake Lilith, but enough to make Lucifer not feel bad about picking her up. He lifted the newborn carefully from Lilith’s sleeping form and pulled the nightdress and blanket over his sleeping wife to keep her warm and protect her modesty.

The baby’s little legs curled into her tiny body as he lifted her, making her look even smaller. She weighed practically nothing, so it seemed. Lucifer cradled her softly in his arms, supporting her head in his hand and close to his body, taking her in for the first time really, since he hadn’t really had time between she was born and his passing out. He kissed her little head, and her scent filled his nostrils. My god, she smelled so good, like milk and honey. And apples. And his wife. She was certainly his daughter: she shared a lot of his features, even some he had when he was in demonic form. She was a petite little thing (a surprise, considering the difficulty he had had getting her here), but perfectly formed. Lilith had obviously dressed her – she was all cozy zipped into in a quilted royal red cocoon blanket with yellow duckies on it to match his. He unzipped it slightly, letting her little mittened hands free. She had so much golden blonde, curly hair on her head. So soft. He could feel her little hooves through the fabric, and her little tail, but he didn’t take her out of her cozy cocoon. 

“Hi sweetheart…hey, my baby girl…oh my god, look how adorable you came out. I…we did it. I can’t believe it…you’re here…you’re alive. We sure did it, huh? You, and me, and your mom...especially your mom, she's amazing, I don't know how she knew how to help me get you out of me…and we finally, finally got you here...and you're alive...and what a miracle you are,” Lucifer whispered to her in a high, emotional yet thin and croaky voice, smiling tearfully as he took her all in, "oooooh boy...I wonder how mad mommy is that you look like me this much? You're so wittle...like a teeny person...well, I guess that's the thing, since you're a baby." 

She looked up at him babbling down at her, seeming to consider her reaction to this for some time, before her little mouth began wobbling and tears threatened to come as she made little noises of protest from being disturbed from her comfy position and being talked to so much while she was still so groggy. Lucifer suddenly felt very guilty for disturbing her, and tried to make amends.

“Awww, baba, I know, I’m sowwie…you wanted to sleep some more... But I, well…I just wanted to see you…ask you how it’s going. Do you like it here? I don’t know if you remember this but uuuuh…you lived in me, and now you’re here, and we get to actually hang out together. That’s pretty swell, right?” He felt his heart sink a little as she continued to fuss in his arms, feeling more and more guilty for taking her from her mother’s embrace, “Oh…oh shit...oh dear, no, please don’t cry…shhhh…hey…it’s okay…I’m sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn’t have moved you…let’s let your mommy sleep though, okay?  She’s gotta be exhausted…she probably used up a lot of her energy to make sure I had enough juice to get you outta me, and I’m pretty sure she’s not had a tonne of sleep since I’ve been unconscious. It’s okay, honey…mommy’s still here, see?…and daddy’s got you. You’re safe, little lady…here, take my hand…”

The baby began to quieten the more he spoke to her with warmth and love. He pulled one of the little mittens off to reveal a tiny, perfect hand, the little fingers flexing as she stared up at him inquisitively, her eyes shining with tears that still threatened to fall.

Lucifer placed his little finger in her open palm, smiling softly down at his daughter as the baby wrapped all her fingers around his. It was a love he had felt so seldom in all his centuries of existing. He felt himself moved to tears as he kissed her little head, (careful to avoid touching her little semi-soft horns, as he knew they would be sensitive and still hardening) as she began to fall back to sleep. He slowly and carefully lay down again, wincing and letting a small whimper escape him at the pain in his genital area letting him know he needed to take things very, very slow. Watching her sleep was a distraction as he shifted to less painful position. He realised he still felt quite dizzy and sick even after the small amount of movement he had undertaken...he probably shouldn't be trying to move around too much, he thought to himself. 

Lucifer suddenly felt observed. He looked towards Lilith, who he wasn’t at all surprised to see had her eyes open a crack and was watching him.

He smiled at her proudly, his eyes full of tears as he whispered, "Hey, mama...you doing okay?"

”That's what I should be asking you...You scared me half to death, I hope you realise…I can't believe you tried to die on me,” she murmured to him in faux annoyance, smiling softly and reaching out to touch his face tenderly, “oh Lucifer, my beloved…you’re awake…I’m so glad to have you back…and you’re holding our daughter…and you’re both alive…how do you feel? You're still looking so frail and not very well...and your voice sounds so weak and thin,” The emotion and worry in her voice was palpable. 

“Jeez, you sure know how to flatter a guy," he laughed slightly, though it caught in his throat a little, "I’m….well, I’m... I’ll be fine. It feels like I shouldn't try to move too much, because even sitting or changing positions hurts….but I’m okay. A little dizzy but I guess that's to be expected. I’m just relieved the baby is here safely, even if it takes a while for me to heal or be able to do anything except lie here…I’d never have been able to get her here without you, Lil…so thanks for taking control and giving me what I needed to see it through...I really meant the question before, by the way...you were giving me so much of your strength...I know it, I could feel how strong you were making me...that wasn't me in that moment, I know it wasn't because I hadn't felt strength like that since before I got pregnant,” he smiled softly as her hand found his hair again, closing his eyes with pleasure at the sensation.

“Oh Luci, sweetheart…don't worry about me. I'm...well, I'm getting there. As for you, I’m just glad you’re even awake at this stage, I didn’t know when you would be conscious again,” Lilith murmured, rolling onto her side and leaning in to kiss him on the forehead and snuggle close to him, careful not to hurt him, “I’m so happy you’re getting to meet our daughter. She is incredible, Lucifer. So, so clever…she sometimes shape shifts already into her more human-like form. She feeds like a dream…she’s no trouble, really. So far, anyway. She’s very alert and cries so little. But…I have to say am most excited and so relieved to have you back to experience this joy with me…it was really hard to feel happy knowing you were so unwell…I have seldom left your side…”

“Uuuuh…how unwell was I exactly? Gimme an overview…” Lucifer felt a small amount of guilt already bubbling inside for having worried her so, his tired, still bloodshot eyes weary despite him trying to keep his tone lighthearted. 

It took Lilith a moment to respond. Finally, she sighed, moving closer to him and taking his hand in hers. 

“Well. To be frank…I thought I might lose you. It wasn’t looking good after you passed out. You couldn’t hold onto me and you slid back into the water, and you hit your head as you went. I had to summon the healers back immediately to help get you out of there...I didn't have the strength to try again, you see. Poor baby girl was so distressed after they severed the chord. They gave her to me and told me to wait outside. I had no idea what was happening to you, but they told me later on…”

Lilith paused, swallowing hard to fight the lump of emotion trying to form in her throat, before continuing earnestly. 

“It became clear very quickly to them that you were extremely broken inside and the amount of blood you lost in the pool and continued to lose after they got you out was pretty exponential. Do you know how hard it is to get Angelic blood to transfuse? Down here…very. Even for the King of Hell. You know how fallen angels can be. But they managed to find enough…and here you are. You’ve had lots of pain relief to help you sleep off the worst of the healing. You’ve only been out for 38 hours, but it feels like longer. Don’t worry, the media don’t know she’s here, yet…and we won’t announce the birth until you’re well enough to stand for the photographic portrait, so we can pretend it was me who carried and birthed her, as planned. I’ve made sure of that-“

“Wait...38 hours…Shit, that’s…I’m so sorry…that’s a long time to have worried you, honey bunny-“

 “I mean, I knew you’d survive after the first few hours..so don’t feel too bad about that. Plus it gave me the chance to take care of you for once…you’re always the one taking care of me every time I’ve been through this. I gave you a couple of bed baths and I’ve been here to watch over you. Also the healers have been back to check your recovery progress, and will probably come again today. You’re slow to heal where our daughter was born from, and your body is probably going to take some time to fix itself to allow you to switch your anatomical organs to your desired form…but they’re happy your pubic bones are back in place and all mended up. Her head was a tight squeeze so it dislocated you…and then your pubic bone broke from her shoulder getting caught…I still feel bad about that because I feel as though could possibly have prevented- ugh, no, I need to stop blaming myself. It would’ve happened regardless, because you’re so narrow and so little. You just about managed it because she’s small…but if she had been any bigger…I dread to think of the situation we would have been dealing with. I...Lucifer…you really weren’t built for this, Apple Pie-“

Lucifer gave a nervous, slightly derisive laugh, rolling his eyes and not looking at his wife as he responded jokingly, “Meh, medical people exaggerate all the time…I’m sure I’d have been ok, no matter what-"

Lilith’s voice was humourless, tearful yet stern as she interrupted him.

“No, Lucifer…you see how tiny she is? She’s in the lower percentile birth size and weight for full term here in Hell. Your body BARELY could make space to accommodate her delivery...you tore very badly, and your pelvis was splitting. That isn’t an exaggeration. You were right when you said the hole was too small. Your body was not actually capable of facilitating enough space for this without magic…I know you hate to be told you’re small but in this case it’s an important factor in what made this so difficult. You were genuinely splitting in two. They said you’re very fortunate to be as together as you are, after everything…your magic is returning slowly since, according to the healers, soon after she was born. That’s another factor in why you had trouble - the inability to access your powers during pregnancy and birth, they say it’s likely this means she’s got many of the same powers as you do, Lucifer…and you lost them temporarily so she could gain them while she was inside you. It’s also probably how she came out unharmed despite the birth being traumatic and difficult for her, too. She was traumatised…she didn’t stop crying for hours and hours after she was born. But your magic saved her. But without access to it yourself, your bones were so very brittle…it practically rendered you mortal for a time. This could all have been so much worse...they say if I hadn't have intervened magically, you probably wouldn't have made it. Either of you. Not much can kill you…but this may have been able to. We just don’t know. And I don’t feel tempted to try again…that brings me to, well…I’ll give you a minute to process…”

She paused, knowing he would need time to digest what he had just been told, before continuing.

“I know you talked about if this worked, we could have more than one. But no. We won’t be having any more children. Just her. Trying again would be idiotic and dangerous. I can’t have any of this happen to you again. Losing children is one thing. Losing you…unfathomable. We need you. I need you. You are the shining light in the darkness for me. So…just don’t be stubborn about this, okay? I won’t let you do this again, ever."

Lucifer felt a lump forming in his throat at her words. It still floored him to this day that she was his wife…it was weird to him she felt this way about him. How could God cast out  such a beautiful, selfless, gorgeous being? He could not fathom that…nor could he fathom that she was his, and that he had just birthed a child to her. An honour. So he nodded in agreement.

“Yeah…yeah you’re right. It wouldn’t be smart to do this again. Let’s be grateful for the one kid who made it…if that’s okay for you, it okay for me, too. She'll be our miracle...our light. Our princess...our little ducky. That’s pretty good going, all things considered…thing is, she’s gotta have a name. I’m not really too great at figuring that kind of thing out…still feeling like I might have pushed all my brain cells outta me too because thinking is kinda difficult right now…baby brain, ya know? So, I thought you might like to do the honors?”

Lilith grinned, feeling relieved that Lucifer was, for once, not going to stubbornly ignore advice, and happy to be able to finally be able to just be a family. She shook her head at his suggestion, however. 

“Hmmm…well, I don’t know about that, Lucifer - you said one the other day I haven’t been able to get out of my head since she was born. She looks like she would suit the name, and all the variations of the name she might shorten it to if she desires…so I wondered if you still like Charlotte. She looks like a Charlotte…and maybe she might use Lottie…or-“

“Charlie.”

 Lucifer grinned widely as Lilith smiled a little strange smile, “aw, come on…she might be a tomboy…or a real boy. It gives her the option of keeping some part of the name even if she doesn’t like the full version. And she might just like being called Charlie…you know-“

“Or could it be the name you’ve been calling her the whole time when you thought I couldn’t hear you talking to her when you were pregnant?” Lilith enquired knowingly. 

“You heard that, huh?” Lucifer smiled a funny little smile.

“My favourite was the time I heard you introducing your favourite rubber ducks to your bump…”Herbert, Dorothy, Bernice, Sandra…meet Charlie. They’re not a duck…I don’t think they are, at least. But they’re the coolest thing I’ve ever made…no offence to any of you.“.”

Lucifer grinned a stupid grin and blushed as Lilith did a dead-on accurate impersonation of him. She smiled back at him. They smiled at each other, lost in adoring each other for a moment, before Lilith came back to her thought.  

“So…yes, I agree with you. Charlotte…Charlie. I think Charlotte is good for public facing Royal life but for our family…shortening names is sort of our love language, you and me…so I like that we can do that for her, too.”  

Lucifer nodded silently as he felt happy tears forming in his eyes again as they both watched their little Charlie yawn in her sleep and get comfortable on his chest. 

The truest happiness the two had ever felt. They loved each other, and their daughter, more than anything. 

Chapter Text

A few days after he woke up, Lucifer managed to convince Lilith he was well enough to try get out of bed. He was just about able to stand unsupported, though walking without aid was a rather painful struggle, and he privately thought to himself it might be for some time into the future.  The healing staff had provided him with a chair on wheels which he refused to use, but he had instead found the strength to manifest himself a personalised walking aid in the form of a decorative cane.

Lilith kept asking if he was sure he was ready to be up and about as she helped him choose and dress in something other than pyjamas and a robe for the first time since he had given birth, because he kept wincing with pain slightly every time he would bend down or lift either of his legs to try to remove his pyjama pants.

“I’m okay, really…please don’t worry, Lil…” he smiled the biggest smile he could muster, though he felt rather nauseated and dizzy from the sharp pains in his hips and lower back still, not to mention genital area, “though I can see the cane becoming a long-term fixture to my attire, if I’m being honest…it kinda goes hard aesthetically, so I don’t think people’d question it too much…ow…nope, I can’t bend that way. Fuck…shit…that’s not great either…uuuuum…okay, let’s try a different approach-“

“Lucifer, no offence but really, if you’re struggling to get the pyjamas off, maybe that’s a sign you should stay in them…I feel like you’re rushing the recovery process, dear-“ 

“I can’t stay in bed FOREVER! I’m SO BORED! I wanna do stuff! Besides, our subjects need to know about Charlie-“

“Luci, we didn’t even release the news of this pregnancy publicly…so it’s ok, we don’t have to hurry into it…Lucifer, my love, you can barely stand…you’re still not well! Stop trying to do too much too soon! You’re all hot and clammy and paler than usual, which is saying something…please just get in the chair, if you want to be out of bed so badly!”

“Fucking…fine! Alright!” Lucifer huffed moodily, sitting in the wheelchair a little too hard, feeling the pain shoot through his genital area from his healing wounds, “UNGH! OW! WHY WON’T THIS STUPID BODY FIX ITSELF ALREADY?! For fuck sake! How am I supposed to help you do ANYTHING for the baby by myself when I can’t even stand up for more than ten seconds?! How could I be this useless already at being a father?”

Tears of frustration slide down his face. His least favourite thing to feel like he was was ‘useless’, and that is just how he felt right now.

Lilith knelt by his side as he put his face in his hand, his shoulders shaking with sobs, his breath hitching in his throat.

“Can’t do an’thi-hing! I’m bro-bro-oken!”

“Sweetheart, you are being so silly right now, saying these things. You’re not broken. Be kind to yourself, and to your body. You have already done way more than I could do. You birthed a living being…you don’t need to do anything more right now than exist and heal,” she soothed him, rubbing his back and shushing him gently.

He continued to cry, but tried to gather himself a little as he explained himself.  

“But I wanna be useful though! I want to be a good dad! I want to bathe her, and change her, and be able to get up with you and support you when she needs to eat. You’re getting exhausted, Lil! I wanna be able to make sure we can share parenthood stuff, so that you can rest properly, too..."

She cupped his little face in her hands, wiping his tears away gently with her thumbs, “And we will share everything when you’re well. And hey…if you want to bathe and change her, now might be a good time for you to help me do that. How about I give Charlie to you to hold and then wheel you both to the master bathroom…You can introduce her to your rubber ducks in real life, now. How about that?” Lilith smiled softly as he perked up at her words. 

“That…sounds really great, actually…” Lucifer sniffled, cheering up significantly as Lilith took their daughter out of her bassinet and placed her in Lucifer’s arms, smiling down at her and stroking her little chubby, rosy cheek.

“Daddy’s little doppelgänger,” Lilith laughed as Lucifer and Charlie both looked up at her with similar looks on their already very similar faces, “come along then…let’s give this little lady a bath…”

Lucifer smiled down at little Charlie as Lilith wheeled them down the hallway. As they went, Lilith made several stops, knowing that Lucifer would want to reassure his servants that he was ok and on the mend. Each servant congratulated  the couple, and were relieved that their kindly King was “up and about” after being so unwell. Each admired the princess fondly. Lilith smiled to herself at how very genuine Lucifer was to everyone, even when hiding being so uncomfortable.

“Your Royal Highnesses, I am immeasurably pleased that his Majesty’s pregnancy was a success and that the heir has arrived safely,” said Barbara, the head house maid imp, “we are all very relieved for you both, and of course delighted to welcome the little one into the palace… we will of course continue to do our utmost to ensure you are all looked after. All is ready for the little one’s bath, as you requested, Queen Lilith.”  

“Thank you, Barbara, much appreciated…” Lilith smiled at the imp woman as she bustled busily down the hall.

“They’re getting a pay raise for all the extra trouble they’ve gone to to make same we are comfortable and taken care of,” Lilith told Lucifer as she wheeled him once more in the direction of the bathroom. He nodded in agreement.

“Oh, damn straight they are,” he grinned, thinking of the pancakes (his new favourite food) he’d been brought this morning in his bed chamber, and all the cleaning they’d had to do after the birth and so on…no questions asked. They just got on with things. They’d be remunerated for their services.

It was a bit of a distance to the main bathroom – he was so glad the chamber he had been using had its own amenities. He was also glad he had not attempted this walk himself. The baby also seemed to like the small tour of this floor of the house she was getting, for she was very alert. At one point she did get fussy, but she began to calm down when she caught and held eye-contact with Lucifer, and he petted her little cheek gently once again with his index finger to comfort her some. She made little gaspy sounds, letting him know she was happy to receive this affection.

“Hi Charlie…hi sweetie pie. Guess what? Dada’s gonna give you a bath now…how about that…and loooook what I’ve got,” Lucifer smiled as spoke to his baby in a high, gentle voice, using his magic to conjure a simple rubber duck, “tadaaaa! Ha! I still got it!”

Lilith smiled, a flutter of relief in her chest seeing her husband able to find it in himself to conjure again for the pure hell of it. 

When they arrived at their destination and were over the threshold, Lilith got their daughter undressed and placed her in a tiny raised tub already full of warm water. She only fussed for a moment, her demonic features appearing briefly before recognising the water was comfortingly warm and not a threat. Lucifer chuckled slightly at that.

“Well, that was ridiculously cute…” Lucifer smiled, watching as Lilith showed him how to support baby Charlie in the water. He was a natural, of course, taking over from Lilith with ease as she watched on fondly and hummed along with all the funny little tunes Lucifer sang to their daughter as he bathed her. He manifested several more very small rubber ducks – one to resemble himself, Lilith and baby Charlie, and had them swim around in the water. The baby, alert as she was, followed them with wide, interested eyes, little gaspy sounds of of amusement escaping her again.

“This is gonna sound crazy…but I feel like she’s already really perceptive…like she knows a lot already. Of course, that can’t be true…but you know. She’s just very bright for a newborn.”

Lucifer grinned at Lilith’s musings.

“You think so? Yeah, I can see it…it’s gotta be a magical thing…maybe like The Sight or something? Omniscience was one of my gifts, ya know…upstairs. I don’t have the ability to use it very reliably anymore, but I mean she has Angelic blood, it could plausibly be a thing…I guess we can wait and see…come on, baba, let’s get you out and all nice and dry…”

“Of course, it’s much too soon to tell,” Lilith smiled, helping Lucifer take Charlie from the bath and wrapping her in a fluffy towel, “there now, little one…all nice and clean…now for my own little surprise for daddy – here, Luci, let me show you how to get her dressed. It’s pretty easy when she’s sleepy but she’s awake now – a little more tricky…so we’re gonna put her in this.”

Lilith produced a very small onesy in the shape of a duck. Lucifer smiled widely when he saw it.

“Oh that is fucking PRECIOUS,” he grinned from ear to ear, his eyes brimming with tears even just imagining their daughter in that piece of clothing. Once she was in it, he couldn’t stop laughing and smiling. Lilith was so pleased to see him this happy – happier than she had seen him in decades as he sang to her.

“Quackity quack, it’s a ducky party…with baby Charlie, daddy and mom…we’re having fun…ooooh yeah, we’re having so much fuuuuuun! Sing it, mom!”

Lilith joined in, doing improvised jazz vocals. The baby once again stared at them wide eyed, making little gaspy sounds that they’d learned meant she was happy and enjoying herself.

Chapter Text

The PR team had just left less than 30 seconds before when he crumpled over in exhaustion on the sofa. It was true he hadn’t done this amount of media coverage in years, and that Lucifer’s social battery had always been much quicker to deplete than Lilith’s was.

There had been so many questions answered with half truths and untruths, so many photos taken. So many people all at once in their baby bubble…ironically Baby Charlie, now seven weeks old, had probably taken it the best out of the three of them, and had been good as gold, but had begun to fuss towards the end of a very long day of Hell Press.

“I know, little ducky…you’re hungry, we can fix that for you now…here we go. There, all better.”

Lilith sat down on the couch beside Lucifer to feed her daughter. Lucifer scooted up so his head was resting on her lap, resting his tired eyes.

“You want a little nip slip of the other one to cheer you up, Apple Pie?” Lilith offered, smiling down at him as Charlie latched on to her exposed breast and began feeding, her fussing settling.

“Oh…uh, nah, I’m fine…” Lucifer mumbled tiredly, listening to the little squeaky noises Charlie was making that knew were suckling, his eyes still closed. He smiled slightly for a second at the noises of a happy baby, and cracked his eyes open a smidge to admire how glowing his beautiful wife looked in the prime of the motherhood she had been long deprived of, then sighed deeply, closing his eyes to rest them again.

“Aw, Apple Pie. I’m sure we’ll get more sleep at night eventually again…Charlie’s starting to sleep for longer periods before waking us up…today was a lot, though…you did well with keeping up with it all and making sure no one doubted our story-“

“Ugh…it wasn’t very fun…I just… All the talking, and lying, and smiling, and pretending. And those media fuckers are always so volatile, even when they’re the nice ones. And physically, standing up most of the day, you know. That kinda sucked. That’s the most amount of time I’ve not sat down since Charlie was born, so my hips and back hurt so much…but ugh, maybe there is other factors at play right now to why I feel kinda tired and in pain…”

He pulled down the waistband of his trousers to reveal his belly, which Lilith could clearly see with a little bit bloated.

“I think I’m going to start bleeding soon, so that’s gonna be great. I’ll have to wait til after that’s over to try making the change again. Kinda been scared to try, since last time was such a disaster and I really hurt myself trying…I am kinda worried I might actually be stuck like this now, like some kind of punishment for doing what we did to cheat the curse. Having a pussy and a uterus is such a fucking hassle, I don’t know how you’ve coped all the time. Truly-“

“I’ve just finished, so I think our cycles are synching already,” Lilith laughed softly in jest, smiling down at her husband and he poked moodily at his belly, “it’s kind of cute to me, I won’t lie…a little sexy bit of bloat. I like it. I was kind of bitter you didn’t get more dad bod after Charlie was born because the bump was kinda hot on you.”

“Ugh, I dunno…I kinda feel ugly. I don’t really wanna see the stuff we did today, because I’m sure I looked hideous the whole time…that doesn’t matter, I guess - oooh yay, little duck sleepy time. Come for nap-nap with dada…”

Charlie finished feeding and was falling asleep. Lucifer’s voice changed as he eagerly reached his hands up to take the baby, and took her against his chest, where she curled up for a rest, gumming at her little fist.

“I wonder if she’s starting to get teeth already…” he said softly, brushing the baby’s curls of golden hair with his fingers, “she really goes in on that little hand sometimes with those gums…I hope she’s not in pain.”

“She’s absolutely fine, sweetheart…” Lilith smiled, knowing he was trying to distract the conversation away from himself and his feelings, “she tells us when she’s not by screaming…unlike someone I know, who I think might be suffering in silence…”

“We don’t know who mommy could possibly be talking about, do we, Char-Char?”

Lilith raised an eyebrow and snorted derisively. He was even easier to read now than he ever had been…

“I notice you’ve not been allowing me to give you any pleasure recently, yet have been insisting on making me feel good when you’ve been up for it this last little while - it’s been really sweet and very appreciated how attentive you’ve been, considering you’re still recovering from everything-“

“I mean, yeah… I wanna make you feel good and happy. You deserve so much, you know…it’s the least I could do-“

“And while that’s very sweet, you’ve been very passively unwilling to allow me to reciprocate. I don’t think you mean to make me feel unwanted, so I haven’t taken it personally…but I do think you might be a little scared of being triggered by intimate touch in the area you associate with your recent trauma. Especially since you’re not comfortable with your present state. But I can see you’re feeling touch starved. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, because I know you prefer your other form for experience of pleasure…but you’ve never really let me try to make you feel good as you presently are…and I promise you right now is the best time…right before your period is when you’re going to be more sensitive down there…and trust me when I say it’ll be like nothing you’ve ever experienced ever before…”

She trailed off, feeling the heat rising in her face as he let out a long, sad groan of frustration.

“I am…yeah, like, really, really fucking horny right now…and I really want to, don’t get me wrong…but uuuuuh, I dunno, Lil. It’s…it’s just…I’m…I’m…well, I’ve seen yours. Yours is so fucking hot, and mine’s so ugly. And…uh…yeah, that’s pretty much it…it’s not what you want, either…you miss my dick. I can tell. Just tongue and finger stuff isn’t the same-”

“First of all, shut the fuck up. You had me in RAPTURE that last time with that tongue thing you did to me. Secondly, you have a very, very cute little pussy, Lucifer. I want to show it a good time. Don’t worry, I’ll take it out to dinner first beforehand!”

She giggled as he pretended to cover the baby’s ears.

“Protecting the innocent duckling from filth…” he mumbled, chuckling softly as he smiled up at his wife, his tired eyes checking for signs that she might have been joking this whole time. When he couldn’t see any sign of jest, he nodded in agreement, “mmhmm. But only if you’re up for it.”

——-
Later
——

The baby was finally asleep in her little basket crib. Lucifer watched the rise and fall of her little chest and felt the love in his chest swell. He was glad to be well enough to finally fully enjoy this little creation alongside his wife.

“I’ll do everything in my power to protect you…” Lucifer whispered to his sleeping daughter, “I swear, I’ll never, ever let anything happen to you-”

“Well, honey, I think if you never let anything happen to her, then she’ll have a very boring life…” Lilith’s velvety voice whispered in his ear as she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him from behind, smiling down at the baby also.

“Boring would be better than traumatising,” Lucifer laughed darkly, “and she’s already been through too much for being such a tiny thing - waaaaaait a second…you’re wearing that sexy thing I like, aren’t you? Oh…oh my God, you were serious earlier…holy fuck, uuuuuh okay, gimme a second, I’m gonna need to shower first-”

“I thought we could maybe do that together, as part of our evening of activities together. Do you want to start off there, or finish off there? I thought the latter, since a bit of excitement can bring on menstruation…is this okay?’

The latter question he took to mean ‘Is it ok that I’m undoing your trousers and putting my hand down your underwear’. It was very much okay. He felt the heat rising in his face as she spun his around so he was face to face with her massive tits. He had always enjoyed viewing her breasts. They had always been thee shit to him.

‘Thaaat’s the stuff…” he grinned, burying his face in the soft, warm, voluptuous flesh. God, he wanted to climb her like a snake climbing a tree…but he knew taking it slow was essential so he didn’t tire himself out.

“Let’s go to bed…I have Barbara and Lilian on baby duty tonight and I’ve expressed enough milk to keep Charlie happy…”

She really had this planned…even if he wanted to back down, he couldn’t. Oh, but he didn’t want to back down…under no circumstances. He needed her so fucking much right now.

Before he knew it, he really had climbed her, his legs around her hips, and allowed himself to be carried to the location she had arranged to eat him out in.