Work Text:
How do you distinguish a memory from a dream?
You just know, right? When you think about a dream it becomes a memory just like any other. It happened, it was something that you experienced. The only difference is that the memories we have from our dreams are made up by our own brains.
So… what if those memories from your dreams weren’t exactly made up by your head? What if they were made by someone, or perhaps, even from somebody else, would your brain really be able to distinguish someone else's memory from your very own?
That’s an answer that Will Byers has been looking for since he put foot into Hawkins seven months ago. There’s still a connection that no one is able to explain why or how it actually works.
He’s caught up back against a wall without escape, all he was left with is pain and pain and pain.
That’s the only possible description Will can give to what he’s currently feeling. Vecna is playing with his head and it’s getting worse day after day. Constantly images of death, blood and destruction flashing through his eyes, the line between reality and Vecna’s ideas is thin as ever.
Will opens his eyes, gasping as if he hasn't breath in a day. Looking down at his shaking hands, he comes into a realization that his right hand is holding a slash of glass right above his left pulse, blood is dripping from his hand to the sink right below, where there’s a cup broken into pieces, the red drops hitting on the metal as it keeps echoing in his ears.
Taking a shaked breath Will tries to slowly move it away. It feels heavy, not the object itself, but the action of moving it, the thought of it. Like maybe it’s not the right decision, that he should turn the knife around, sink it deeper.
Finally he opens the hand holding the sharp glass, letting a sigh of relief as the sound of metal rings loudly. He looks around, head spinning in confusion. They were arriving at the farm literally five seconds ago. The gray clouds were bright in the sky, now when he faces the window they are darker and stormy.
The clock on his left marks 06:32 PM. Another blackout. And it’s only been two days since the last one. The relapses are getting closer. What has he done in the last hour? Has anyone noticed something?
“Mike?”
He hears a familiar woman’s voice calling, coming from the end of the hallway. Immediately turning the water of the faucet on to wash some of the blood away, he pulls the leaves of his jacket back up to hide the cut on his pulse when he hears footsteps entering the kitchen.
"Oh. Will!"
Turning around he sees Karen now standing behind the counter, greeting him with a smile.
"Hey Mrs.Wheeler." His voice comes out croaked, like he just saw something terrifying.
Karen walks closer, the smile now gone when she asks “Are you okay sweetheart? I heard glass shattering.”
Will coughs in hopes to disguise the still panic in his voice “Y-yeah. Fine.” – He turns around to the sink again, watching as the rest of his blood gets washed away.
“I broke a glass. Sorry.” He turns the faucet off, realizing his left sleeve is starting to get drenched in red.
“Oh.” Karen goes around the balcony, getting at his side to see inside the sink. – “You didn’t cut yourse–”
“No. I’m good, really.” He interrupts fast, already moving in the direction of the front door – “Sorry again.”
“You don’t need to…” Karen starts to say, but Will has already left the kitchen. – “say sorry…”
He leaves the farm house, stepping on the moist grass as a drizzle falls from the stormy clouds. Pushing his sleeve down he takes a look at the cut, the blood pouring now much less than before. It didn’t hit any vein, it was a precise cut, calculated.
I could kill you if I want. It’s a threat whispering in his head. And now it’s more clear than ever.
Maybe you should, maybe I should’ve finished it. – Will thinks. What good has he been doing after all? He can’t even get precise information with the connection that he has due to his mental state. Due to his loss of control.
But Vecna has no intention of killing him, not for a while. He has a plan and it’s trying to slow them down by playing tricks with Will’s head. Well, Will is fucking tired of being tricked.
Walking aimlessly through the field, he reaches the small lake of the property, looking at his reflection, he again takes notice of the bruise under his right eye, a reminder that he’s not welcome in Hawkins anymore.
BAM!
The echo of the metal locker as it hitted his head still ringing in his ears. Everyone thinks he’s a freak, cursed by an evil that is now spreading across the town. In the end, they aren’t really wrong are they?
Drops of blood slipping through his pulse hits the cold water, looking again at it, his eyes go wide when the reflection staring him back is not himself, but a tall man, with blonde hair and a white suit.
It’s looking right through him, it knows all about his deepest thoughts and undisclosed desires, and it wants control.
The blonde man’s left hand starts to slowly lift up, as if he is greeting him, but Will realizes a second later that his left hand is in the same position.
Suddenly and a lot faster, his right hand as well as the reflection’s, abruptly takes hold of his arm that’s still frozen in the air. It tightens its force and holds him still, making the blood that was close to a stop relieves itself again. Will winces in pain, tears already forming in his eyes.
Seeing the smile forming on the man’s face a laugh echoes. He repeats the action like a puppet, but the voice that comes out it’s not his, it's deeper and rough. That same voice that echoes both inside his head and out to the dark field.
“Be prepared for hell Will. I haven’t even started yet.”
He’s pushed back in a shove by his own hand, hitting with his back on the lawn, the rain speeding it up and sticking his clothes with mud.
Finally he has control of his limbs again, but he can’t even feel relief, because he’s still there, in the dark corner of his mind, slowly spreading, piece by piece.
Fighting back a sob Will holds onto his knees to sit up. The field around him is empty, as well as his insides.
Vecna took everything from him. His childhood, his friends, his home. It destroyed every tiny piece of all that he had, driving him to the edge. Tomorrow’s just a promise of this infinite loop of insanity. Maybe the best choice he has left is to finish what he started.
The storm predestined by the clouds sets in, Will wishes it would wash off all the dirtiness inside of him. But the rain isn’t enough, he needs to do something if what he wishes is to have some peace of mind.
Does he even have guts enough to do that?
“Will?”
A worried voice calls his name, his ears tuning in with reality when he hears muddy footsteps coming from behind his back.
“Will! Are you okay?” Something lights up on his chest when Mike kneels in front of him, soaked from head to toe. Will can smell the shampoo lotion radiating from him, probably from Nancy.
Will’s still frozen in place, staring at his best friend when he feels a shiver at the back of his neck. His left hand suddenly feels a lot heavier, like a force pushing it to do something, but he holds it down, as it starts to shake uncontrollably, catching Mike's attention to his sleeve that's drenched in blood.
"Are you bleeding?" He moves to grab Will's pulse, but he manages to slip his hand away before.
"Stay away from me Mike." – He gets up on his feet, moving away from Mike as fast as he can.
Will is a threat now, to himself, to his friends. What if something happens to any of them, to Mike? He can't allow that, he won’t allow that.
He walks away to the ranch's direction, Mike right behind him. The rain pours heavily as thunder echoes in the sky.
"Will!" Mike screams – "Will! Please talk to me!"
Will keeps on his path not looking back, but Mike speeds on his pace, placing a hand on his shoulder so they can be face to face.
Mike is not gonna leave him alone just because he asked too. Mike is loving, and caring to all his friends, that's why it pains Will's heart to have to say this-
"Stop this!"
"Stop what?" Mike questions, still holding onto his shoulder.
"This!" He yanks his shoulder away from his friend's grip "This constant need to protect and defend me." – Will summon all his anger "I don't need it, ok?"
It's true, to a certain point. He feels like that with everyone else, but Mike. Mike just has the power to make him feel brave just by existing, there's nothing he can do that can make Will feel anything other than proud.
Mike backtracks, looking away into the distance before asking "Is this about the other day?" – He is not summoning any angry back, his voice only emmanets sadness.
Quietly, Will elaborates “You shouldn’t have stood up for me.”
Mike’s eyes go directly to look at the bruise under Will’s eye. “They were attacking you Will! Was I supposed to just sit and watch?”
“I was going to stand up for myself! For once in my life, but you…” He looks up and down at his friend – “You always need to be the hero.”
Mike gets closer, his expression more confused than anything “What are you talking about?”
Will sighs, exhausted and in pain from the cut that he instinctively presses in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Still, what weighs the most is knowing that Mike is in danger, he can’t be around him, he can’t.
“Tell me what’s going on, please, let me look at–”
“No!” Will pulls back again from Mike’s grasp, they are both shouting through the heavy sound of the rain around them.
“I-I’m fine, just leave me alone!” He turns his feet around, starting to walk away while Mike stands still, but before Will gets too far he says again, his voice barely above a whisper-
“Thought we were done with the lies.”
Will stops abruptly.
Lies.
That 's right. They promised each other, no more lies. Mike was honest about El. El was honest with Mike. But Will can’t be honest with either of them, that would cost too much.
"Do you wanna know why I lied to you?" His voice shakes from the panic and the cold all together – "About the painting?"
Mike backtracks his hands, looking scared of not knowing where his friend is going with this. “What?"
"No more lies right? You want the truth, so here it is…" Will takes a deep breath and-
"I-It's because i felt sorry for you.” He spits back harshly, watching as Mike’s face falls. – “Because what you said was true.”
“You’re just some nerd who got too attached to the first girl who ever gave you enough attention” – He tries to force a laugh. Mike’s still frozen in front of him.
“And well, she finally realized that, hasn't she?” – The knife in his heart is sinking deeper with each word that leaves his mouth.
“She never needed you, nobody needs you.” The rain pouring above their heads masks the tears coming down from Will’s eyes. – “ I don’t need you.”
Mike steps closer to him again, his voice cracking “W-Will, stop this.” He reaches to grab Will’s pulse again, but he bats his hand away, turning back to his path.
After a few steps away he looks up again, jumping back when he sees from the distance a shadow looming at the entrance of the barn, a shape very familiar to the one he saw at the lake.
“No, no, no, no, no.” He starts to whisper to himself, now frozen in the middle of the field, dark clouds surrounding above while darkness seems to infiltrate every pour of his soul – “Please go away, go away.”
The request is heard as a joke to Vecna, reminding them both of Will’s first try, years ago. Just a kid trying to be brave, to face his fears. Remember what that got you into? – The question occurs in his mind, not knowing if it’s really coming from himself.
With his eyes closed, he hears Mike moving towards him "Will…" His voice is heavy with fear and broken by his friend's words.
It's moving closer to them, he can feel it, the shadow is walking, step by step. Panic is a funny thing, it's supposed to alert you to danger, to prepare you for the worst, only that by doing that it also deactivates all his capability of making rightmind decisions.
That only increases when he clearly knows that it's not coming for him this time.
"W-why are you saying this?" Mike’s voice cuts through the cold air. “I-” – He pauses to let out a sign, sniffling and saying with a watery voice – “I don’t believe you.”
Will opens his eyes to look at his hands, that force is crawling up into him again, making his entire body shake as he tries to fight back.
“Just fucking leave me alone Mike!” – He sobs, pleading, begging. Just see how awful I am and run.
But Mike does the opposite of that, he inches closer until Will can feel his breath against his neck, screaming just as loud “NO!”
Will clenches his hand in fists, turning around to look at his best friend. He wants to run, but something is holding him down, someone is thriving for control.
“I know you ok?” Mike pleads for Will to understand, saying again more quietly – “I know you.”
Will sucks in a breath, watching as Mike’s tears merge away with the rain pouring above them just like his own.
“A-And…” His voice starts to rise up again. “There’s something you’re not telling me." – Something… the truth. Mike wants the truth. That he's a coward that prefers to hide behind his own shadow over actually being a useful person. "So no! I’m not leaving you.”
“No matter how many awful things you have to say about me, or how much you hate me right now.” He swallows some of his tears, but his voice comes out more broken than ever.
“I’m staying right here.”
Will stares, seeing as both Mike’s hands finally, and slowly comes to rest on his face, softly tracing his fingers over the skin wet with tears. It makes the force pressing in himself lose, the darkness coming into a rest state.
This isn’t real is it?
Mike wouldn’t say this, wouldn’t do this. Will imagined scenarios like this before because he knew they could never be real, it’s just another one more of his dreams.
“This isn’t real” Will whispers his thoughts out loud without realizing, taking a step back from Mike’s hands, his friend’s face getting confused “You’re not real.”
“What?” He whispers back.
He’s so dumb isn’t he? Thinking Mike would ever run after him, after all the lies he told and disappointments he caused.
His mind feels like a tornado of ideas, sentiments, memories. It all feels like a blur, he can’t really distinguish where he is in the middle of it all. Will doesn't realize he is staring at Mike for a long moment, his mouth is moving but he can’t really hear it, there’s a wheezing growing louder and louder.
“Will…?” He tries to focus on Mike’s voice, but that only makes his head feel dizzy, making him lose his balance and staggers backwards.
Mike comes immediately to hold him by the arm. Still saying things that Will can’t comprehend, when his other hand comes to hold onto his face the back of his neck shivers, and then–
Blackout
Nothing. A void. He’s right back into the dark corner of his own mind.
It’s a strange feeling, perhaps because it’s not even a feeling at all. Nothing matters. The future it's all just a dream isn’t it? A foolish dream that will never happen.
Look at him… A boy with no perception at all of reality, grasping onto inimaginable ideas of who he could become, what he could do. But that’s all there is, ideas, dreams, a history that will never be written.
Will Byers life isn’t a dream, the opposite, it’s an endless nightmare, a ocean of violence, fear, anger, sadness, and he’s right in the middle of it, looking up at the sky, imagining what must be behind the clouds, surviving as he holds onto fantasies.
Real. What 's reality after all? When did his mind become such a mess that he can’t really distinguish it anymore? How could he define who he is if it's all scattered all over the place?
He needs to put an end to all of this. Will Byers needs to wake up.
Eyes shooting open. Mike’s face is the only thing in his field of vision, his nose is bleeding and there’s more coming down from his mouth. Realizing his surroundings, he can see that he’s holding Mike down on the ground.
I want you to watch
Will’s right hand collides with Mike’s face, who’s gasping as blood pours around his lips. Will is trying the best he can to hold it down, but…
The same fist covered in blood goes to reach his jacket pocket, slowly pulling out of it a slash of glass that’s already stained with his own blood. They both gasp in fear, eyes widening. Will doesn’t want to, but his eyes is staring right back into Mike’s, who he can now clearly hear-
“Will, it’s me ok? This is real, we’re both real!”
“I’m sorry.” With one swift motion, the glass comes down aiming at Mike’s chest, but with the rest of his force control he has left, Will manages to hit his shoulder instead.
Mike’s scream echoes in the field, his other hand tries to reach Will’s, but he seems too weak to make the movement. His voice endured with pain “I know this isn’t you…”
The tears from Will’s eyes keep falling onto his friend’s cheeks. “I know you’re still in there.” – It’s strong, It’s pushing onto his limit, he can already see the end result before it even happens. One stab at his best friend’s ribs, then his tights, at his lungs as he stares at Mike fighting to keep breathing, and the last one right into his heart. The thought of it making his entire strength into closing his eyes. Looking in the darkness and pleading to take him away. To wake him up.
Mike grabbing his hand brings Will’s eyes to open, when they finally make eye contact he says struggling “Shield of Faith.”
As they stare at each other it feels like time has slowed down, the rain slowing itself too.
“Do you remember that?” Mike smiles in the midst of all the pain and blood. – “It’s a 4th level spell that we discovered while reading the D&D book for the first time.”
The memorie comes clean at his mind, both of them in the corner of the library as they waited for their friends to come, flipping through a dusty book that was probably forgotten by everyone, but they found it.
"O-only a Cleric or a Paladin can conjure a shi-mm-mmering field to surround someone of their choice."
They’ve read it all and decided their classes before realizing that. Will thought it was awesome, because it's exactly how he felt everytime Mike was by side. A shield is formed around him, giving him a +2 bonus in any action.
"The day I was gonna master our first campaign, you came in earlier because you noticed how nervous I was at school."
Mike gives a watery laugh at the memory "I was so scared that you guys wouldn't like my history, and you…" Seeing Mike breaking down on crying makes Will's heart clench in agony, him sobbing just as hard.
"You told me tha-at… If I got to nervous, o-r need it help, that i co-ould say Shield of Faith, and you would got my back.”
Will was gonna be his shield. As Mike has always been to him since they met, since they became best friends. Mike has always been there, by his side.
An inevitable smile starts to shape Mike’s mouth again “After that, I-I wasn’t so nervous anymore.”
It was perfect. Will’s passion about the world Mike has built for them to play grew bigger and bigger into every word that he said. It made Will feel safe, it made him forget about all the fights in his house, all the bullying at school, right there in his best friend’s basement, immersive in their own little big world where they could be heroes, Will felt for the first time that he could be himself.
“But then… at the end of it” Mike continues as a vivid memory of that day passes through both their heads. – “I got nervous while describing–”
Mike coughs trying to pull his head to the side, but the blood that spills from him spreads across his face, some of it flying up to Will’s face due to the proximity. But neither of them seem to care about it, both of them too focus on each other’s eyes.
The boy beneath Will tries to take a deep breath, he can feel his friend’s lungs shaking beneath the skin when one of his hands comes to rest at his chest, solid like the drops of water that fall above their heads, alive like the grass they’re both laying it, real, like this memory Mike tells with so much love.
“D-Describing the beaten dragon we killed.” His voice is almost like a whisper, which only makes the memory even more vivid in Will’s eyes.
“So I-I whisper… Shield of Faith.” Will had shot up from the chair immediately, dramatically describing his character moves as the dragon fell down at their feet, bringing everyone’s attention to his narrative.
Mike continues, his voice breaking into every word he says “And you… You got my back.” And still, his best friend's smile doesn’t fade, doesn’t even twitch his eyes locked into Will, who’s holding a slash of glass drenched in blood, right under that smile, inches from the boy’s neck.
“You got my back.” Mike whispers again with a watery laugh “We f-finished it together. We beat it together. We… can do anything together.”
A smile starts to creep at Will’s face too, the fondness in which Mike says those words and tells this story, his soft voice and eyes filled with warmth, shapes a force in himself bigger than any darkness Vecna could spill inside of him.
With the control back into Will’s power, he pushes himself back away from Mike, standing on his knees in front of the boy he would give his life for.
The drops of rain decrease around them, the gray clouds moving themselves away. Mike starts to sit up, wincing in pain as he grabs at his bleeding shoulder. His eyes widen when he notices that the slash of glass which was once on his throat, is now hovering over an already cutted wrist.
“Will..” He panics, trying to stand up but only managing to crawl himself towards his friend. His friend who is sobbing the hardest he has ever seen, screams of cry leaving his mouth, eyes focused on the sharp glass.
“Will.. Please look at me..” Mike’s voice being not too much better than before, tears crashing down his eyes like waterfalls. “Will… Please!”
He reaches closer, pleading “Please look at me!”
Will’s breath catches when his eyes turn up to look at Mike’s.
“I-I need to wake up Mike… I need to– Or he will destroy everything!”
“We won’t let him, ok? We won’t– And I will never let him take you away again, ever! Do you hear me?”
“What about you?” Will screams, making Mike speechless before completing the rest in a whisper “I.. I can’t lose you Mike.”
“You won’t! Because w-we can do anything… remember?”
Will’s grip on the glass tightens enough to make blood start to pour from his hand. Mike’s voice getting more panic by the second.
“But I can’t do this without you… None of us can do this without you! We will find a way out of this…” He takes a deep breath before continuing "It's always up to us in the end isn’t it?” Mike adds with a chuckle the last part, remembering both of them of their fight so far, years of dealing with alternate dimension’s monsters and selfish pricks scientists
Will chuckles too before saying “I f-feel like I’m going crazy.”
Mike manages to get his fingers to touch Will's hand that’s placed in the middle of them, saying with the most assured voice he can “You are not alone… You will never be alone.”
He interlocks their fingers together when Will doesn’t stir from the touch, trying to contain the sob coming up his throat to say “I can lose everything, but not you… Oh god, not you…”
It’s just so easy to give up right? To brace himself into the darkness and forget about all of it, it’s tempting, it’s warm, it’s inviting. Will holds the glass closer to his wrists, he can end everything, finish what Vecna started, conquer one of his deepest desires.
Looking at Mike’s eyes shining in tears, filled with love, and hope for the boy kneeled in front of him, holding out a hand for him after everything Will had said and done to him today, seeing the good inside of him even though he can’t see it for himself. Makes the possibility of a future that Will really wants to fight for.
“B-But it wasn't El's…” Will whispers so low, so scared to admit it. This unholy thing inside his chest, that he tried so hard to ignore, he thought if he never said it out loud then it could never be true. Right now, that reality is digging this confession from his heart by force, and he’s not really sure if he’s hoping that Mike can understand it or not.
Mike doesn’t take his eyes away from him when his other hand comes to hold onto the glass, dripping both of their bloods onto the dirt, face coming closer until it’s the only thing in Will’s field of vision.
“I know… I know.” Mike can’t help but smile, making all the limbs from Wil’s body relax forward into him, the sharp glass drops between them as Mike brace himself around the boy, holding out a hand into his dripping wet hair, moving Will’s head to rest against his chest, the boy’s arms weakly reaching to wrap around his too. The relief filling both their hearts, as well as the darkness that Will felt all around his body, dissipates as the rain and its dark clouds.
Both boys stay embraced, finally releasing all the love they feel towards each other. A love that has been building between them for years, and that has been buried for far too long.
Nothing can or ever will beat this connection, not misunderstandings or lies, not distance or time, not even a dark evil from another dimension.
They can do anything .