Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

For me, there wasn't much to say about how I lived my life. It had felt like forever since I came to St. Mary's Children's Orphanage and lived in Winderixville. I felt like there had been nothing other than this town. But, I'd remember the day I came here, the first nights, and how scared I was. Usually, those were in the form of vivid nightmares. After all, it hadn't been like that at all…

A better retelling would come from the orphan keeper, Jerry. He was the one who ran the orphanage and kept it going steady. Somehow he balanced it out enough to have it so that there were day classes for the other kids in Winderixville, where we lived. The small orphanage had a crappy dormitory that housed me and five other little kids. They were younger than me, actually, I was twice their age no matter what.

"Ponyboy!" One of the little ones yelled. I cringed, getting up from my cot. Well- not my cot. Nestled in my arms was Scarlett, one of the youngest of the bunch. She had nightmares and, not wanting to wake the other kids, she would convince me to sleep with her in her cot. As long as I "kept the monsters away." I was fine with it, actually sleeping next to her was enough to calm down my own nightmares.

"C'mon Scarlett, it's time to get up," I nudged her, seeing if she was up to waking up. When it was clear that she would rather sleep, I got up, stretching. I looked around for my locket, the only thing I had left of my family. It was pretty easy to find, with it being a dull gold color. Even though it was dull, it stood out from the beige hues of the orphanage.

Quickly I made my way down to where the kids were yelling. Johnson, the one who had been yelling, pointed at Mary incredulously. "She took the last of the toast!" He nearly screamed. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. It was always somehow like this, they would find a reason to fight each other, and in an hour dissolve it.

"I deserve it! You're going to your family," Mary retorted. Johnson had a visit, a family member who would probably take him. A small smile came to my face, even if I didn't remember my family, I just hoped that they would come for me. Johnson turned back to me, tears brimming his eyes. I knew that I had to do something or else it was going to be a big fight.

"How 'bout I make something?" I offered, pointing to the kitchen. The other kids looked up at me, their beady eyes watching as I made my way into the kitchen. The locket dangled from my neck as I started to make the food. It was just some simple eggs: hard-boiled, scrambled, and sunny-side up. The rest of the kids got their plates, eagerly holding them out for me to place their favorites.

Mary liked hard-boiled, Johnson liked scrambled, a little one named John liked sunny-side up, and the last little one named Joanne liked hers scrambled. I enjoyed mine sunny-side up, and I made sure to leave a hard-boiled one for Scarlett. "Mary-" I called. Mary ran over, her eager eyes staring me down as I placed the saucepan down. "Can you get Scarlett up?"

Mary nodded, making her way up the creaky old stairs. The whole orphanage was made of wood and seemed to be rotting. Still, it was good enough to call home.

"C'mon guys, gather 'round," I called out right after Mary got Scarlett. Scarlett held a small teddy bear, the only thing of her family as well. She got her plate and joined the small wooden table. We joined hands, and I spoke, leading them all in prayer.

When the prayer was done, we sat down, ready to eat. The little ones ate quickly, partially scaring me. For some reason, my memory only remembered choking and hazards. My hand found my locket, running the engraved gold through my fingers. The heart shape of it told me that it was meaningful, or at least it was supposed to be.

Throughout staying at St. Mary's, I found that the only things meaningful were the little kids that I lived with. "Okay everyone, time to get ready," I called out, packing up all the plates. Scarlett groaned, telling Mary about how "she didn't want to get ready." A small smile came to my face, while I didn't remember my family if they hadn't found me, then maybe I'd be happy staying in the orphanage.

As I cleaned the dishes, the orphan keeper, Jerry, came in. "Good morning sir," I greeted, putting away the last of the dishes. Jerry looked at me, "Good mornin' Ponyboy. Are the little 'uns gettin' ready?" I nodded, watching as Johnson ran down the stairs. His hair was a mess, but his outfit of slacks and a regular white shirt was clean enough for an orphan.

Johnson ran up to me, "Can you do my hair? Please! Please!-"
"Woah! Yeah, of course, I'll do it," I said, interrupting Johnson. Jerry nodded to me pulling out a pack of cigarettes and heading outside. "We have a busy day tomorrow Ponyboy." I nodded, gently leading Johnson to a chair.

"No fair! I wanted him to brush my hair," Mary pouted, out of breath from running down the stairs. I pointed to another chair, "I'll get to you." She gleamed, sitting down and bouncing her leg. Despite not being ready myself, I helped Mary and Johnson. Mary and Johnson were the oldest of the bunch, with being 7. The youngest was Scarlett and Joanne, at 4 years old. John was 5-going-on 6. A small smile came to my face as I started to brush Mary's hair. Of course, I would be sad about my family, but, I couldn't be sad for something I didn't remember…

"Ponyboy!" A shrill voice came from upstairs. I quickly brushed Mary's hair, apologizing to her as I made my way up. I saw Joanne on the floor, as John spun around in circles to get a shirt on. His head was halfway through the sleeve as he tried to push his hand through the head hole. It was a sight for sore eyes…

I ran over, pulling the shirt over his head and fixing it up. Joanne looked at John worriedly. "Johnny, are ya stupid?" She asked. The nickname made me freeze for a moment. Johnny? Before I could think more about it, John was tugging at my shirt. "She called me stupid!" He pointed at Joanne who cowered at her bed.

"Settle down," I murmured, going over to my cot. There was hardly anything near it, apart from some slacks and regular shirts. Quickly I pulled a navy sleeveless hoodie on. There was some fire damage of ash, but I ignored it. When all the other kids were ready, we settled down near the main foyer. Jerry came in from outside, giving me a thankful smile as the kids settled down near me.

"Johnson, may we speak in private?" Jerry asked. Johnson froze, his eyebrows furrowing. The other kids cheered, but, I knew Jerry's tone. Johnson wouldn't be able to go today…

As Johnson and Jerry left, the rest of the kids took it upon themselves to start cleaning up the orphanage. It was schedule to always clean before visitations, just in case it was a state worker. I cleaned up outside, making sure none of the little kids ran. Usually during cleaning some kids used to run outside to try to play.

I smiled, remembering the day that I tried to run. It had been a whole week since I was taken there. Not only that, but it had been a whole week since I was even allowed out of bed. The only thing they could do for me was ask me questions about family, and I couldn't give them any answers…

"No brothers? Sisters?" Jerry had asked, using his soft tone. My mind was new then, unsure of anything. The doctors had told him that it was temporary, that I would remember in due time… 7 months later and all I knew was that my birthday was barely a month ago.

A small group of kids started walking past me, all wearing their usual clothes and backpacks. "School time!" I yelled out into the orphanage. Quickly everyone started to scurry out, yelling over who did each chore better. I watched as they joined the group of kids, as Joanne and Scarlett lagged behind.

"Something wrong, son?" Jerry asked from behind me. I looked down at the ground of the orphanage. It was brown, a dull shade that matched the interior. Still, I nodded, "Guess I'm thinking about what could've been if I remembered."

Jerry put a firm hand on my shoulder, "Anything Ponyboy, but, God has chosen this path for you." I nodded, trying to blink away the tears that came with that thought. "Dont feel so sad for Johnson either, he was actually glad to stay another day or three with his favorite orphan," Jerry joked.

I smiled, his demeanor reminding me of something… or someone. I shook my head, "Need any help with anything tomorrow sir?" Jerry nodded, "Ya see, there's gonna be a picnic. The teacher, Miss Smith, is planning on taking all the young 'uns to Jay Mountain." I nodded, a bit of excitement flowing through me.

"Ya need me to scope out the area or what?" I joked. Jerry laughed, shaking his head, "I just need you to make the food for the children." He pointed to the table with some money, "Go ahead." I nodded, quickly running to the table. Excitement flowed through me as I ran out of the orphanage.

"Be back before dark! 'N don't stay at the library too long!" Jerry yelled. I nodded, knowing that I was going to get there later than everyone else. A small smile came to my face as I ran to the closest store. It was humble, but, I enjoyed going through the aisles and thinking about what to get.

"Hey Ponyboy," the cashier, Jay, greeted. I nodded in response. "Want a Pepsi? We just got some," he offered. I shrugged, "Sure." As he handed over the Pepsi, he noticed the money in my hand.

"The orphanage need groceries?" I shook my head, "Naw, school picnic tomorrow." He nodded slightly, "Dont ya go to school or somethin'?" I remembered the night Jerry told me that the school didn't have any curriculum for how much I already knew, so he had taken it upon himself to teach me. However, it was usually later than the little kids, unless I wanted to help at the school.

Thinking that an answer like that would be too difficult, I just shrugged. "Jerry teaches me all I need." I walked around gathering all that I thought we would need for the picnic. Some things for sandwiches and drinks, mainly Pepsi. Just as I paid for everything, Jay's eyebrows lifted slightly. "So where's the picnic takin' place?"

"Jay Mountain or somethin'…" I answered, grabbing some bags. Jay's brows furrowed. "Ya know… I've heard there's a church on that place haunted by someone." I rolled my eyes, "A small horror story ain't going to be enough to deter the little ones." Jay laughed, shrugging slightly, "Thought I'd let ya know, just in case the little ones need a story tonight."

"Shoot! Stories…" I said, quickly rushing out of the store. Before I knew it, it had turned dark. The crappy streetlights hardly illuminated the street, causing me to trip as I tried to make my way back to the orphanage. The library would just have to wait another time…

The second I got back, Jerry seemed glad to see me. "Right on time, kid," He congratulated. I rolled my eyes, giving him the food and helping with dinner. The little kids pestered about in the orphanage, recleaning the main foyer and redoing some chores. Mary caught my eye, her little face stained with tears.

"Why is Mary crying?" I asked Jerry quietly. Jerry looked over, a solemn expression on his face as he motioned Mary over. Mary walked over, a frown present on her face. "What's wrong?" I asked, trying to be as soothing as I could. "Johnson said that I'm too weak and scared to ever get adopted," Mary whined.

Sharing a look with Jerry, I picked up Mary and coddled her in my arms for a moment. Jerry walked over to Johnson, carefully dragging him out of the orphanage. I cringed, hearing a loud smack from the other room. Still, knowing that I had to focus on the little kids, I brought dinner out.

"Gather 'round!" I called out, watching as the little kids scurried around the table. Mary sat next to me, refusing to hold Johnson's hand. "Go on Mary, or else Jerry will-" Before I could finish my sentence, Mary grabbed Johnson's hand. Jerry stood next to me, beginning to lead the group in prayer.

The second that he was done, he got up, not staying for dinner. "Get them to bed, will you Ponyboy?" He asked. I nodded, "Yes sir." And with that, he walked out, closing the door gently behind him.

"Pony! Can you twell us the stowry about your first day?" Scarlett asked, her mouth full of food. I shuddered a bit, reminding myself that they hadn't been there all before. Scarlett and Johnson were the newest, only being here for three months. The other three, however, had only been here for five months. Seven months in, I was the last of the old group of orphans.

Still, I nodded, "I'll tell ya during bedtime, okay?" John and Mary groaned slightly in annoyance. I laughed a bit. They had heard the story countless times, but always wished to hear it again…

Just as I was finishing cleaning up the dishes, while the younger kids cleaned the table, I saw Johnson and Mary walk up to me. Mary looked angry instead of sad as she pointed to Johnson. "He won't say sorry!"

"I already got my licking! Why do I need to say sorry?" Johnson yelled back. I sighed, wiping my hands and grabbing both of them gently by the arms. "Johnson, you say sorry because you made Mary feel sad." I turned to Mary, "However you can't get everyone angry Mary. Go on now, my punishment is for you two to make every single bed tomorrow morning."

Johnson groaned while Mary smirked, she always did like to make the beds. Still, right when I was done playing mediator, the little kids started going up the stairs. "I call the shower first!" Johnson yelled.

Showers in the orphanage worked differently, especially because the younger kids needed to be taught how to clean themselves. I groaned as I tried to teach John how to not scrub all of his skin off. Still, I couldn't help but admit that it was nice to play with all the younger kids.

Finally, it was time for bed. "Story! Story!" The little kids yelled as I tucked them each in. I rolled my eyes, finally slipping into my own cot and pulling off my locket. I sat up, pulling a small nightlight on my bedside table for all the kids to see me. Then, I started from the beginning, telling the story Jerry told me before…

It had been a cold night, Jerry was exhausted from running a school and a seminar. He was ready to go to the orphanage, which had only three kids. People were contemplating removing their involvement in funding due to the lack of orphans. Still, Jerry worked, using as much as the church funds as he could afford to help the orphans who were quickly growing out of the system.

He had driven out far from Winderixville, all the way near Kansas. He drove on the highway, approaching Oklahoma City. Then, like magic, there was the sound of a train horn.

I cringed for a moment, all the little kid's eyes on me. Scarlett and Joanne were in the same cot, their beady eyes fixated on me. They loved this story; no matter what. But, I hated it. After all, it was one of the only things I could remember.

Instantly, Jerry stopped the car, running out in time to see the car land near him. Jerry ran over to the scene, picking a small kid up from inside the car. He held it as the cops came.

"A miracle!" John yelled. I shrugged slightly, "A miracle."

"Do you know this kid?" The officer asked. Jerry shook his head but still held the body. "I own an orphanage, he can stay there," Jerry told the officer. The officer nodded, quickly taking the body to an ambulance to get checked out. Then, it was almost light enlightenment for Jerry. God spoke to him, telling him to check the seat of the car.

Only one side of the car was undamaged, and on the seat was a locket.

I pulled out my locket, swinging it around for a moment. The gold heart shape reminding me of Jerry telling the story to me. He never stopped, hoping that I would remember something.

A young woman in the car called out to Jerry. "Ponyboy…" She had said. Jerry nodded, noting the name, and before she could ask any other questions…

"She died!" Johnson finished. I cringed. Everyone here had no more parents, no moms or dads to cry about, not even me. I knew that they didn't care about saying stuff like that, they didn't care about death. They were too young to.

Still, I nodded, continuing the story.

Jerry took the child to the orphanage, and to the doctors. They could only find one thing…

"No memory!" Joanne yelled. "Settle down," I retorted, my head aching from the interruptions.

The news became popular, spreading slightly around town. Everyone wanted to help the orphanage. And bit by bit, Jerry started to go far and wide to get orphans. He taught them all love and compassion and taught them math.

I earned a small chuckle from the older kids, but some yawns from the younger ones. "So… you saved the orphanage?" Joanne asked sleepily. I nodded, putting out my light. "And now, we can all sleep in the same room together," I joked.

Moonlight still came in through the windows, a distant train horn sending shivers down my spine. All I could remember was my name and birthday, but… I knew that I had a family somewhere. Part of me wanted to look for it, but another part decided to leave it. After all, if they haven't found me, then why bother?

~

January 10th, 1967 - Present Time.

"We give our condolences, your brother has been presumed dead," a voice on the other side of the phone said. It had only been two days since the initial crash. The car was totaled and the bodies were nearly unrecognizable. The only way they knew that it was Mr.Curtis was by a half-torn license.

Darry practically dropped the phone, only whimpering out a small, "Okay." Before setting the phone down. Sodapop stood behind him, tears in his eyes. "What's the news? Is Ponyboy okay-"

"Hes… dead," Darry said. The words didn't fit right on his tongue and he wished that he could go back in time. Bile filled his mouth as he ran to the bathroom. This couldn't be happening, Darry told himself, it can't…

Sodapop stood in the living room, shocked. Tears were running down his eyes as he tried to collect his breathing. His baby brother was dead… Fully dead, and there was nothing he could do about it anymore. Heaping sobs overtook his body, causing him to fall on the floor.

They had lost three family members in two days…

It was like life started to move in slow motion. Darry and Sodapop couldn't breathe in the grief that was losing their baby brother and parents. Still, bit by bit, the gang helped them. Even if they couldn't do much for the duo…

They kept moving, with or without Ponyboy…

Except Johnny.

He sat in the lot for hours at a time, risking getting jumped. And… one day, he did. It was ruthless. They didn't stop for nothing, and Johnny came to the Curtis house, beaten up badly. Darry lightly scolded him while Sodapop just hugged him. Johnny knew that they couldn't lose someone close to them again.

After that incident, Johnny kept a blade with him at all times, no matter what. There was no one to talk to him anymore, at least, not in the way that they used to. Curly hung around him, trying to talk to him and mess around. But, even Johnny knew about how Ponyboy and Curly used to buddy around often.

After Johnny had been jumped, the gang jumped socs for a while until they gave up on trying to find the soc responsible. It had been months since Ponyboy had "died," and the soc issue only grew stronger.

"Dont walk alone Johnny," Darry lectured, cleaning up a small cut on Johnny's face. Johnny nodded, waiting as Darry continued. "Theres the couch free tonight, stay here." Johnny shook his head, "I'll be fine in the lot, really." After a bit of arguing, Johnny walked to the lot.

He focused on the stars and the moon. Part of him believed that Ponyboy was still alive, that there was a way to find him… his mind wandered everywhere. He thought about how his life would've been different if Ponyboy was still there.

Would he still carry a switchblade? Or would it have been Ponyboy who got jumped? Just as he was thinking about it, a blue Mustang pulled up next to him. Johnny glared at all of the six socs, carefully pulling out his switchblade.

The next moments happened too quickly for Johnny to understand.

The first thing he understood was that the scent of alcohol from the socs wasn't unusual. But, it flashed by and he stabbed someone, that's all he knew. All he could tell was that the socs were running, yelling at Johnny, and cussing him out. He stood there for a second, until looking at the body.

The sight of the body was enough for him to start running to Bucks. He had to get out of there, if not, he would go to jail. Hell- maybe even the electric chair! And so, Johnny got to Dally, his voice so shaky that you could barely understand it.

"I messed up bad Dal," Johnny found himself saying, blood still coated on his hands. His breathing was off and tears were starting to threaten to fall out of his eyes. He prided himself on being tough and not crying. But in that moment, all he wanted was to cry.

Dally cussed for a moment, getting Johnny cleaned up and explaining about a place in Winderixville…

Johnny followed along part of him wanting to just give up and turn himself in. But, he didn't, and instead hid out in the church for nearly a week. Up until Dally took him to Dairy Queen.

And up until there was a picnic going on at Jay Mountain.

Chapter Text

I'll only forgive you if you do one dare!" Mary yelled to Johnson, waking up Ponyboy. Ponyboy sat up on his bed, finding that Scarlett had somehow crawled her way into his cot. He sighed, reaching over to grab his locket. His hands grasped the gold lightly, causing it to fall out of his grip. Instantly he checked it, checking how the clasp on it was broken.

"Fine! Deal! Only if you do the dare with me!" Johnson yelled back. Ponyboy put a hand to his head, finding that there was already a small headache growing that early in the morning. Instead of trying to fix the clasp, Ponyboy tied the locket around his neck, hoping that it wouldn't break off. When he stood up, he saw Mary and Johnson arguing.

Still, Ponyboy took the time to wake up Scarlett. Gently nudging her shoulder until her eyes peeped open at his. She groaned, sitting up, "Morwnin' Pony…" "Morning Scarlett, go get ready," Ponyboy said, stretching slightly. Scarlett nodded, sleepily getting up and moving past Mary and Johnson.

Instantly, Mary turned around, looking right at Ponyboy, and pointing at Johnson. "He won't do his punishment!" Ponyboy looked at the bed they were standing at. There were six beds in the orphanage, enough for every kid, save for Scarlett never sleeping in her own cot. Ponyboy sighed, "How about I do one bed so you can split the other four? And Johnson, I better see ya making them." Ponyboy's fake "angry," tone was enough for Johnson to nod and instantly start making the beds.

Ponyboy made his own cot, perfectly making it so it seemed that no one had ever slept in it. When he was done, he got ready. Usually, for field trips, the orphans would get ready before breakfast. Ponyboy didn't dislike it, but he wasn't sure about the schedule change.

"Ponyboy!" Jerry's voice called from downstairs, "Come help with the little 'uns!" Ponyboy quickly threw on a random white shirt and random pants. Quickly he ran out and downstairs, barely making it in time for Jerry to stop coming up.

"Finally," Jerry said, "We thought ya got lost." Scarlett and Joanne giggled. Ponyboy rolled his eyes, carefully walking around Jerry. "What do you need me to do sir?" Ponyboy asked. Jerry picked up a basket, seemingly having trouble with it. He handed it to Ponyboy who held it with ease.

After a moment of waiting, Miss Smith walked up to the orphanage door. She walked into the main foyer, three smaller kids following suit. "Is that all the kids?" She asked. Jerry nodded, "I'll take it the parents forgot the field trip?" Miss Smith nodded solemnly, "They believe that there is something in the abandoned church."

Right as she said that, Mary and Johnson bounded down the stairs, arguing the entire way. When they reached the bottom, they stopped, merely glaring at each other. Jerry clapped his hands together, "Well, c'mon little 'uns."

Ponyboy held the basket, walking carefully so as to not hit another kid. They all gathered around him, especially Mary and Johnson. Scarlett and John lagged behind, with Joanne picking a ride on Ponyboy's back.

"No fair! She should walk," Mary argued. Ponyboy sighed, pulling Joanne higher on his back. Joanne wiggled a bit, "I walk."

"You sure?" Ponyboy asked, craning his head slightly back. Joanne nodded, her pigtails rapidly swinging around. Carefully Ponyboy put her down.

"Race ya to the top!" Johnson yelled to Mary. "You're on!" She yelled back, starting to run. All of the kids started to run ahead of the adults, starting to see who could go up the mountain faster. Jerry lagged behind, his breathing growing weary. Miss Smith stayed behind him as well, her hand on his back. Ponyboy watched him carefully. "Are you okay sir?" He questioned. Jerry nodded, coughing for a moment.

Ponyboy looked to where the kids were supposed to be, and found that they were gone…

~

"You go in!" Johnson dared Mary. Mary shook her head quickly, "You first! I told you I’d pick the dare!" Scarlett and Joanne looked at each other. They had run up the mountain before any of the adults, and Ponyboy. "Well fine! I'll go in to show that I'm not a wuss like you!" Johnson stated as he ran in. Mary took hold of Scarlett's hand, "C'mon Scarlett, we can't let him win!" Just as Mary took Scarlett's hand, Johnson grabbed John, and Scarlett grabbed Joanne, who grabbed nearly every other kid.

They all bounded inside the church, finding that there was a small scent of fire. "W-we should go," Joanne squeaked. Johnson turned around, "And be a wuss? No way! We're gonna find that ghost!" Scarlett dug herself into Mary's side, tears prickling at her eyes. Mary held onto her and Joanne tighter, trying to tell them that it'll be okay. They made it to a room, finding that they were surrounded by flames.

Scarlett dug herself into a corner, finding that her dress was snagged on a piece of wood. "Mary!" She called out, trying to pull at her dress. Yet, Mary focused on the fire at hand, carefully putting her arms around Scarlett and Joanne.

"We need to leave!" A kid, Timmy, said. They gathered around each other, tears prickling in their eyes. "We're gonna die!" Johnson suddenly said. All the kids started crying, trying to fight the rapidly approaching flames…

~

Johnny had stayed in that church for almost a week. For that whole week, at first, he had contemplated a lot during the week. Should he turn himself in? Is it worth it to hide out?

When he couldn't find any other answers, he took to smoking. Nothing felt better than inhaling the nicotine and feeling the short buzz. Every time he did though, he started to make himself believe that Ponyboy was with him. The smell of smoke was so prominent with Ponyboy. So he tried to read a book that he thought Ponyboy would like. When he got bored of that he lay on the floor for a while.

The floor was straw, and everywhere he lay there was straw. It brought him back to thinking of the country, and how Ponyboy was supposed to come back from the countryside of Kansas. Johnny was tired, tired of hiding, and tired of eating nothing but baloney sandwiches. For a moment he looked at his switchblade, thinking of what he could do…

His hair was already cut, sloppily, but cut well enough. He took the time to read to think about his hair. It was his prized possession… but not only his. Ponyboy liked his own hair long, Johnny remembered, always trying to oil it perfectly.

Just the thought of his past friend caused a small ache in his heart. Right as his eyes met the switchblade again, he noticed the fire he had running low. He carefully put some more straw in it, hoping that it would last the evening.

"Woah! Look at ya!" Dally's voice suddenly came out of nowhere. Johnny jumped, the door of the furnace opening. "Jeez Dal, whatdya gotta scare me like that for?" Johnny asked. Dally laughed. After a bit of conversation, Johnny followed Dally outside of the church.

"Im starving! Lets go get somethin'," Dally offered. "Youre starving?" Johnny asked incredulously. Dally shrugged, hopping into Bucks T-Bird and starting to drive out of the place. They drove to Dairy Queen, with Dally getting enough sandwiches for both of them.

"How's the church?" Dally asked. Johnny shrugged, watching as a girl who asked for a dime walked away. "It ain't better than the lot." Dally guffawed, "Ya sure? I think it's pretty nice."

"I think I oughta just turn myself in," Johnny stated. Dally turned around to him, his eyebrows furrowing. Johnny knew it was a stupid idea. Why hide out just to try and turn yourself in? But, Johnny knew that he couldn't stay in the church any longer. If he did then he feared that he would die. Kill himself or something.

Dallys jaw tightened as he threw a wrapper out of the window. Johnny put his head down, understanding what Dally was going to say. But, his decision was final. He would turn himself in, no matter what. Then before Johnny knew it, they were driving back to the church silently. He noticed Dally's hard grip on the wheel, his knuckles turning white.

Johnny looked back up, feeling the wind in his shorter hair. He enjoyed it for a moment, wanting to cry. It had felt like nothing he had experienced before. His eyes scanned everywhere, simply taking everything in.
Johnny saw the smoke first. Then, he saw the flames engulfing the church as Dally drove closer.

Dally parked the car, and the last thing Johnny saw?

A boy running into the church while a man yelled behind him.

"PONYBOY DON'T!"

~

Ponyboy finally made it up, catching a glimpse of the church suddenly on fire. He scanned around for the kids and Miss Smith also looked around as Jerry caught his breath. Suddenly, Miss Smith yelled. "Jerry! The kids are missing!"

Knowing his fears were confirmed, Ponyboy didn't think twice. His hands let go of the basket, throwing it to the ground. His legs moved quicker than they ever had before. Jerry yelled, "PONYBOY DONT!" But the sounds of his warning were drowned out as Ponyboy smashed the window and ran in.

Before Ponyboy knew it, there was someone next to him, coughing alongside him. "Ponyboy?" The kid said. Ponyboy looked at him, "Wheres the kids?" The kid nodded, understanding that it wasn't time for pleasantries, and started running to different rooms. Finally, they made it to where all the kids were huddled.

"Ponyboy!" the kids yelled. Ponyboy ran up to them, grabbing a rock and breaking another window. Someone yelled from outside, "JOHNNY! GET OUTTA THERE. SCREW THE KIDS!" The boy, Johnny, looked at Ponyboy. Ponyboy sensed a familiarity with him, almost as if he'd known him for a long time. And, for the first time (in a long time), they shared a smile, but before Ponyboy knew it, he was picking up the kids and throwing them outside.

A guy stood outside, yelling at Johnny. The second he saw Ponyboy though, he quieted down. His eyebrows furrowed as Ponyboy threw Mary to him. Johnny took Johnson and John, getting bit in the process. Ponyboy counted all the kids, throwing out all of them… but one.

Scarlett pushed herself deeper into the corner. Ponyboy coughed, opening his arms to her. Her tears covered her eyes as she wailed. "The roofs gonna fall!" Jerry yelled from outside. Ponyboy kept his arms open, pushing Johnny towards the window. Johnny stumbled a bit, catching himself.

"My dwess!" Scarlett called out, tears lining her eyes. Ponyboy's soothing wasn't helping her, and he knew he had to act fast. The creaking of wood was motivation enough for Ponyboy to grab Scarlett. Her dress ripped, drowning out the sound of the church's foundation breaking. She hung onto his neck, grasping his locket. Just as the creaking finally fully stopped, everything came crashing down.

It felt like hours for Ponyboy but- he saw it all in slow motion: the roof falling and throwing Scarlett to the boy who knew his name. The boy grabbed Scarlett, falling out of the window in the process. Then, Ponyboy felt as if the whole church fell on him… and his whole world went black.

Chapter Text

The sound of the church crashing reverberated throughout the entire mountain. Johnny scrambled to get up, parts of his jeans and jacket on fire, but he didn't care. No- his best friend was in there.

Before he knew it, he ran inside, hoping that he could help Ponyboy. Dally followed behind him, running inside and looking for Ponyboy. The fire continued to lick at them, burning them as they tried to walk in.

"Where is he!" Johnny asked, his voice desperate in a way that Dally never heard before. He shrugged, looking around as he put his shirt to his mouth to breathe easier. They found Ponyboy quickly, most of his body under a piece of burning wood. Johnny grabbed the wood, pushing it off as well as he could. His heart pounded through his ears as his hands burned from the wood.

Tears sprang to his eyes as he felt Dally move behind him. Dally grabbed Ponyboy roughly, throwing him over his shoulder. Ponyboy made no sound, his eyes closed as Dally grabbed Johnny's arm, dragging him to the window. They fell out of the window, Johnny and Dally coughing roughly.

"Ponyboy!" Jerry yelled, running over. Dally held onto Ponyboy, glaring at Jerry who tried to reach for Ponyboy. "Sir, we need to take him," an EMT said. Before Dally could say anything, they ripped Ponyboy out of his grasp, leaving him and Johnny on the ground. Another EMT came over, gently grabbing Johnny and putting him in the ambulance.

"Where are you from?" The EMT asked Dally. "Tulsa," he responded immediately. The EMT nodded, yelling over to some people. Dally looked over as he watched Ponyboy get loaded into an ambulance. He looked horrible, Dally noted. He ripped his eyes from the sight.

Dally sat on his knees for a moment, trying to ignore the ache in his arm. He tried not to look at the pinkish flesh, telling him that he had gone in. That it was real what he saw. Ponyboy had been alive…

Now he was dead, Dally told himself. He looked down for a moment, catching a small glint in the grass. "Follow us kid, you're riding with your friend," An EMT said from next to him. Dally shot him a glare, quickly grabbing what was on the ground and standing up.

He allowed himself to be led to the ambulance and put inside. Another person stood near the EMTs, a younger woman. She talked to Jerry, looking up as Dally sat down in the ambulance. Johnny was on a gurney as the EMT worked to give him fluids. Dally noticed that Johnny was asleep, and how burned his skin was from the fire. He cringed, noticing how the EMT worked to take off Johnny's jacket.

"He'll be transported to Oklahoma City Hospital," Jerry said. Dally looked over as the younger woman nodded. "I'll meet you there-" She started. Jerry shook his head, "You're going to Tulsa. Now hurry!"

Before Dally could even understand what was happening, the younger woman hopped in, right before the EMTs closed the ambulance doors. Dally glared at the woman, who in turn, looked at Johnny. Her eyebrows were furrowed as she kept her hands in her lap.

After a moment, Johnny opened his eyes, looking right to the younger woman. "Who?"

"I'm Jane Smith," Miss Smith said. She took a breath, "You two are heroes." Johnny chuckled a bit, coughing as he did so. "We ain't heroes…" Dally glared at the woman. "Who was that kid?" He asked, trying to ignore how they all called the boy "Ponyboy." But- it couldn't be him. Could it?

Miss Smith kept her hands in her lap, "That brave orphan is Ponyboy…" She choked up a bit. "We… we didn't think he'd run in." Dally continued to glare at her. He was struggling to find the words to say what he meant. Not wanting to prod around too much, Dally just leaned back.

An EMT sat next to him, checking his arm. Dally used everything in him to not hit the EMT away. "Ponyboy… how- how did ya find him?" Johnny asked. Miss Smith looked shocked.

"What do you mean?"

"What we mean is, Ponyboys been dead for seven months," Dally stated. Johnny cringed, looking at Dally. "I knew he wasn't dead…"

Miss Smith looked shocked for a moment. "You're saying- you know him?" Dally nodded and Johnny did too. "He was my best buddy… then one day, we got told he died." Dally noted the small change of pitch in Johnny's tone. He looked over, seeing the tears falling from Johnny's eyes. "We got told he died… that… that his body was never found."

Miss Smith shook her head slightly, almost in disbelief. "I- I mean he came to the orphanage seven months ago," she admitted. Johnny sat up, causing some machine on him to start to go haywire. Dally looked at her, eyes wide. "Orphanage?" He finally muttered out. She nodded, taking her attention from Dally to Johnny.

"We need 15 milligrams of flurazepam," An EMT yelled. They fought to keep Johnny down. Dally nearly lunged at the EMT, only stopping when Johnny stopped moving. Tears still fell down from his eyes, but Dally could tell that he was nearly asleep.

Miss Smith looked at Dally again. "Tell me… tell me about his life," she said. Dally glared at her, shifting in his seat for a moment. However, there were no more words exchanged as the doors opened. She ducked her head down as they took Johnny into the hospital. Dally followed, his glare on Miss Smith as he finally walked into the library.

Miss Smith waited in the waiting room. She just wanted to see anyone, that Johnny kid, or even the mean older one. It wasn't like she had a way back for a while…

"Miss? Are you here to see someone?" A receptionist finally asked. She nodded, "One of the two boys that came here." The receptionist checked a file, calling over a doctor before giving a small nod to Miss Smith.

She got up, trying to avoid a swarm of police officers and reporters. After practically swimming to get out, she finally made it to Johnny's room.

"Johnathan A. Cade…" Miss Smith murmured as she walked in. Johnny was lying down, his hands wrapped up neatly. She took a seat near him, watching as an IV dripped slowly into him. The sound of the liquid splashing flowed through the entire room, in an almost soothing manner.

After a moment of waiting, Johnny moved a bit. He groaned, tears slipping down his face as he worked to sit up. Finally, he opened his eyes, looking right at Miss Smith.

"Wheres Ponyboy?" He asked, his voice hoarse and weak. "They've transported him into the Oklahoma City Hospital… since you were from this hospital, they took you here. But for Ponyboy, they took him to the only hospital he's registered at," Miss Smith explained. Johnny's breathing steadied out for a moment. He's okay, Johnny thought, they've taken him to a hospital to live. Right?

A question popped into Johnny's head. The only hospital he's registered at? Johnny thought, trying to ease up his breathing as he tried to remember what happened in the ambulance. His mind came up with flashes of memories, mostly of Miss Smith informing him and Dally that Ponyboy had been in an orphanage for seven months.

"How did he end up in an orphanage?" Johnny asked. Miss Smith looked down, she didn't know. No one knew the story other than the orphans and Jerry himself. Any other passerby knew though that Ponyboy was a miracle that saved the orphanage.

She shrugged slightly, "We don't know… Rumors spread and some say that he went there himself to save it." It was a stupid rumor, Miss Smith realized. However, she realized too late though by the way Johnny just started to stare at the wall. He looked over at her.

"Walked there… himself?" He asked. Miss Smith tried to correct herself, "It's just a rumor! We- we weren't sure if he ran away or-"

"No! He- he wouldn't leave his family like that-" Johnny nearly yelled. He thrashed around, almost as if trying to hit Miss Smith. She leaned back, realizing how much of a mistake her wording was.

He had a family? She thought as another voice came from outside.

"We need a nurse!" A doctor yelled from outside. In an instant, Miss Smith was kicked out. Instead of going back, she decided to go to the other kids' room. Dallas T. Winston.

With permission from the doctor, she walked in. The younger boy slept, his face in a near-permanent scowl. She walked carefully, noticing the locket in his hand. Just as she reached out, he snatched his hand, instantly sitting up to glare at her.

"The hell do you want?" He demanded. "That's Ponyboy's locket," Miss Smith stated. Dally held onto it tighter, glaring at Miss Smith. She sat down, waiting for anything. Dally glared at her, not even humoring any chance of conversation she tried to initiate.

Finally, she left, leaving Dally with the locket. He moved it in his hands, an ache growing in his heart. The familiar gold reminded him of someone. Someone though who was fully dead, buried, and with a headstone. A nurse walked by, and Dally motioned her over.

"Give this to Johnathan Cade," he said, handing the locket over. The nurse looked at him weirdly before nodding. Dally leaned back finally allowing himself to rest again. Just looking at the locket caused an ache in his own heart.

He hated the thought that Ponyboy had been dead to him for seven months. Seven months and he had been in an orphanage. Dally cringed, thinking about how Ponyboy could've felt.

After all, didn't he remember them? Why didn't he just try to find his way back to his brothers?

~

Johnny woke up again. His mind was foggy as he tried to remember what had happened. When flashes of Miss Smith ran through his head, he just leaned back. A nurse walked in, holding something and giving it to Johnny. Before Johnny could ask about it, the nurse walked out.

Johnny held the heart-shaped locket in his hand. The engraving on the gold was one that he knew… A locket that a familiar mother figure in his life wore often.

Tears started to slip from his eyes. Carefully, he opened up the locket, looking at the photo of Ponyboy. He noticed the way that Mr. and Mrs. Curtis held Ponyboy as if he was the one who put the stars in the sky. Johnny held the locket closer to his heart.

"If I knew you were there… I would've looked for you," Johnny whispered. Teardrops hit the gold, cleaning it ever so slightly. Then, for what felt like forever, Johnny held onto the locket, doing something that he never thought he would again…

Hoping and praying that he would see Ponyboy again.

Chapter Text

Burning…

Thats all Ponyboy could remember in that moment.

The feel of fire as a whole church fell on him. His clothes being worn and burnt to a crisp. And then, someone telling him to wake up.

"Ponyboy?" A voice said from his side. Ponyboy groaned for a bit, trying to find the motivation to even open his eyes. Everything was still burning, and he could feel every bump on the road. "How much longer?" The voice asked.

"Around forty more minutes sir. He's stable." Ponyboy thought it was an EMT speaking. His mind wandered as they continued to drive. Where was he? Where was that boy who knew his name? And even seemed to know him?

"J-erry?" Ponyboy finally muttered out. "Ponyboy? Oh, thank god!" Jerry exclaimed. Ponyboy opened his eyes, squinting slightly at Jerry who sat near him. There was an IV or three in Ponyboy, dripping into him. He looked at them, almost with a thought to rip them out.

An EMT put a hand on Ponyboy's wrist to stop him from moving. "Those are necessary, you need plasma and liquids. Do you remember what happened?" The EMT asked. Ponyboy groaned, his only memory being that he was in a fire. Then, it hit him.

"Scarlett! Is she okay?" He tried to sit up, just in case Scarlett was in the ambulance with him. Jerry sat up, putting a gentle yet firm hand on Ponyboy's shoulder and pushing him down. "She's alright, kid. Now calm down yourself or else you'll be in here longer!" Jerry said.

Ponyboy nodded slightly, leaning back on the gurney. "That wasn't smart of ya Ponyboy but… you're a hero," Jerry said. Ponyboy looked at him. Jerry looked stressed as if he had been the one to run into the church instead of him. Ponyboy's eyes drifted to the ring that Jerry wore, from his late wife.

The orphanage had been in her honor, Ponyboy remembered, and I had to be the one to help it. Carefully, Ponyboy put his own hand on top of Jerry's. "It was my fault…" He breathed out. And- he believed it.

He believed that he should've stayed with the children. That he should've been making sure that they weren't going to play in the church. Everything in his head connected the whole ordeal to himself. The more that he thought of it, the more that he found it harder to stay awake.

"Im sorry Jerry," Ponyboy finally said. Jerry kept a firm hand around Ponyboys. He looked to the EMT who checked Ponyboy's vitals. "He's just tired," the EMT confirmed. Jerry nodded, gently putting a hand on Ponyboy's forehead. "So what's the patient's name?" the EMT asked after a bit.

"Ponyboy… Ponyboy Wood," Jerry answered. The EMT nodded, writing it down. "And you are?"

"Jerry Wood."

The rest of the ride to Oklahoma City was silent, save for the beeping of machines around Ponyboy. When they got there, Jerry was instructed to stay inside of the waiting room. He smoked three cigarettes, smoking them as if they were his lifeline.

In a way; they were. They felt like the only thing grounding him in the moment. His mind wandered to the other two kids that had been in the church. All he could think about was if they had been there before. Were they the cause of the rumors? Or were they just there for fun?

Remembering that Miss Smith was there with them, Jerry made his way to a phone. There were three dimes in his pocket. Three chances, he thought, and if I can't find Miss Smith then…

He shrugged the thought away, putting away his cigarettes and looking for the Tulsa Hospitals phone number. The dial tone was all he heard before someone picked up.

"Tulsa Hospital, how may I help?" The voice asked. "Is there a Jane Smith there?" Jerry asked. "Most likely visiting a room?" He added. "I'll be right with you," the receptionist said. After a moment, another voice came on the line.

"Jerry?" Miss Smith said. "There you are Jane, how are those boys?"

"Well… they know Ponyboy personally apparently. But they greatly dislike the fact that he's in an orphanage. One of them kept his locket no matter how hard I tried to get it back." Jerry nodded into the phone, "We'll get it back one day. Did ya tell 'em they're heroes?"

"I sure tried but… they didn't talk much other than Ponyboy."

"Mr.Woods? Ponyboy is allowed to have visitors now," a nurse said. Jerry nodded, "I'll meet you back at the orphanage Jane, you need to take care of the kids tonight." With a small goodbye, Jerry hung up the phone and started to follow the nurse.
"Should we assume you are the guardian of this child?" The nurse said, holding onto a clipboard. Jerry nodded and she continued. "Ponyboy suffered great burns that burnt down to near the second layer of his skin. We fear that the place where he was hit with the wood may affect his mobility. However, we cannot say for sure if it will. If he survives, he is expected to take up to a year for full recovery, but only a week or two of bed rest."

Slowly, Jerry nodded, unsure of what to say. They made it to Ponyboys hospital room, the white sheets causing Ponyboy to look even more pale than he was. Not only that, but they seemed to accentuate the burns in his skin. "Nearly all the burns will scar," the nurse stated. With that, she checked some of Ponyboys vitals before leaving the room.

Jerry sat down near Ponyboy, taking his hand in his own. The antiseptic scent dulled any thoughts that Jerry could conceive. He tried thinking of what was happening, or how it all happened.

Jerry hadn't ever told Ponyboy the real story of how he found him…

Ponyboy moved a bit, groaning as he did so. They had him laying down, hoping that if he could feel, then he would be able to tell if his legs still worked. "Hurts…" Ponyboy whispered, his free hand going to his neck. It danced around his neck, to his collarbone before he tried to sit up. He opened his eyes and looked at Jerry.

"My… locket," He said. Jerry lightly took Ponyboys wrist and put it back on the bed. "The other boys have it." Ponyboy nodded slightly, leaning back into the bed. "It wasn't your fault kid," Jerry stated. Tears started to brim Ponyboys eyes.

"But it was… I- I should've watched them," his voice was hoarse and dry. He hiccuped for a moment, trying to wipe his eyes. "W-what about all the other little kids?" Ponyboy whispered. Jerry patted Ponyboys head, "Dont worry, they're with Miss Smith. Go sleep, I think its helpin' ya."

Ponyboy nodded a bit, his eyes drifting closed but his breathing not evening out. "C-could you tell me the story about when you found me?" He finally asked. Jerry brushed Ponyboy's hair with his fingers.

"I ain't never told you the true story kid…" Ponyboy nodded, "Let me hear it."

~

January 8th, 1967 -The day of the crash.

Jerry's wife's headstone and grave were in Kansas. He had been there late at night, putting flowers down and preaching to anyone who would listen to him. He talked about death and unhappiness. Then, he cried there, for hours at a time.

When it was time for him to drive back home, he took the long way. The scenic view was the only reason why he went that way. He saw a car on the side of the highway, half-flipped over. Jerry ran over, concerned. The second he made it, he saw that the car was on the tracks.

Most of the people inside of the car were asleep, save for the woman in the front. She looked as Jerry walked over, but Jerry knew that she had given up on living. Her legs were crushed and soft piles of snow were starting to build up around them. A helpless look stayed in her eyes as if she had given up on escaping.

Jerry looked at the drivers seat, noticing that the man sitting there was dead. Bile rose to Jerrys throat as he tried to run to throw up. The woman watched him, watching as his eyes flickered to the boy in the backseat. Jerry noticed the amount of blood coming from his head, a huge gash on the back of his hair. Jerry's

"P-Ponyboy," The woman groaned out. Her hands went to her neck, albeit weakly. She worked to get off a locket around her neck. When she did, she held it out to Jerry. "Ponyboy," she said. Her voice was cut off by the sound of a train horn. Tears fell from her eyes as she tried to move. Jerry stepped in, trying to help her but she pushed him away.

Jerry knew what she meant, get her kid from the backseat. The kid named Ponyboy. He grabbed Ponyboy, finding that his head was bleeding badly. Yet, all thoughts he had were drowned out by the sound of a train horn. The boy wore a navy sleeveless hoodie and some jeans…

Jerry tried to run with the kid as the train approached, but, he was too slow. The train collided with the car, sending sparks everywhere and getting onto Ponyboy and Jerry. Ponyboy groaned, his eyes opening to look at the car. Jerry cringed as he listened to the car getting dragged to the next town.

The boy in his arms went limp, his head falling forward as Jerry worked to throw him into his car. Panicked, Jerry drove to Oklahoma City Hospital, after all, they should've had his information, right?

"Whats the patient's name?" A receptionist asked him after Ponyboy was sent to the back. Jerry panicked, "Hes an orphan." Still, the receptionist didn't take that answer. So, instead, Jerry told them a little white lie, "Ponyboy Wood."

~

"So… there weren't any police officers?" Ponyboy asked weakly. Jerry nodded, putting his head down. "I should've gone there instantly son… but your mom just had that look in her eyes. It was like my wife Annie told me to take you back and give ya a good life," Jerry admitted. Ponyboy looked up at the ceiling. His mind went back to what he had just thought about the day prior.

If I had any family, then shouldn't they have found me by now?

Chapter Text

In the morning, Johnny woke up. He woke up scared, his mind flashing to the prior events. All that he could think of was how the fire was his fault. He thought of ways he should've stopped the fire. Maybe by closing that damn furnace door, he thought, I should've thought 'bout all that straw on the ground. Then, all he could think of was Ponyboy…

Seven months, Johnny thought, and we thought he was dead. The imagery of Ponyboy's limp body under the wood flashed through Johnny's mind. What if now he was dead? Before Johnny could think more about it, a nurse came in. She checked Johnny's vitals, making sure everything was alright.

"Do you think you're clear to have visitors? She asked after a moment. Johnny looked down at his hands, all bandaged up and nearly unmovable. Part of him didn't want anyone else to see him like this. But, another part of him reminded him about the news of Ponyboy and Dally telling him about the gang missing him.

Johnny nodded, "Yeah… are there people waitin' for me?" The nurse nodded, "Two brothers. I'll send them in." Instantly Johnny panicked, trying to put the locket in a secure place. Two brothers? Darry and Sodapop popped instantly into his mind. What would he even start off with? Why he ran away? Or who he saw when he did? How they would react?

He didn't get much of a chance to think about it before Darry and Sodapop came running in. Sodapops hair was sloppily greased as he looked at Johnny. "Glory Johnny!" Sodapop exclaimed, running over to one of Johnny's sides of the bed. A faint smile came to Sodapops lips and Johnny noticed the half-buttoned DX shirt he wore.

"I gotta be headin' to work," Sodapop explained. "But we wanted ya see you." Darry nodded in agreement, his eyes drifting down to Johnny's hands. Self-conscious, Johnny hid his hands. Sodapop grabbed his wrist.

"Golly… are ya alright?" He asked, his eyes staring right at Johnny. Johnny nodded, "There were kids…" Darry chuckled a bit, "Playin' hero? I think I saw it in the news…" Johnny blushed lightly, how were there already articles? And how many people have seen it?

"Okay little buddy, its time for you to go to work," Darry ordered. Sodapop rolled his eyes, lightly ruffling Johnnys hair. "Tuff hair." Johnnys mind flashed to Ponyboys hair. The younger orphan had looked nearly like a soc. His hair was shorter, but his green-grey eyes held the innocence they always had.

Sodapop walked out, waving lightly at Johnny before rounding the corner. Darry sat down near Johnny. "I work later today," he explained, stretching a bit. "So… ya got a soc huh…"

Johnny ducked down his head. "They were tryna kill me…" Knowing he shouldn't make it into a lesson; Darry stayed quiet. "I- I went to Dal… he- he told me to run," Johnnys hands worked to play with the locket. The clamp to hold it was broken, but, the gold hues shined brighter than they ever had. Ponyboy must've taken real good care of it, Johnny thought.

"What's that?" Darry asked, his voice gentle. Johnny froze, unsure how Darry would react to the jewelry. Yet, Darry peered over, stiffening when he saw it.

"Is that-" He started. "Your mom's locket?" Johnny finished. He watched as Darry held out his hands for the trinket and Johnny obliged. Tears formed in Darrys eyes as he opened the locket. They fell once he realized who was inside the locket.

"But how?" Darry asked. Suddenly, his head snapped up. "Unless-" Johnny nodded, "I- I saw Ponyboy." Darry looked down at the trinket, confused. But how? Was his first question. Then, "How did he look?" The care for his baby brother seeped out from him as he looked at Johnny.

Johnny looked down at his hands, tears starting to form in his eyes again. Only ten minutes had he talked with his best friend, shared a smile, and watched him get crushed by a piece of wood. Johnny hugged himself, "H-horrible…"

Darry sat up, wiping away his own tears. "It was my fault," Johnny choked out. "I started the fire and… and all he wanted to do was save the kids." Darry took a deep breath, finding how uneasy he felt. For seven months he presumed his brother to be dead. And for seven months, he had been learning how to live without such a huge part of his family. Quietly, Darry brushed his fingers through Johnny's hair.

"How do ya know it was him?" Darry quietly asked. Johnny looked at the locket once more but then closed his eyes. "There was a man yellin' at him. Tellin' him not to run in. Sayin' 'Ponyboy… don't.'" More tears slipped down Johnny's face. "Tell me Johnny… everythin', what happened?"

So, Johnny explained what he could. "I hid out in an abandoned church on a mountain. It was only for 'bout a week or so. Dal came yesterday so that I could learn 'bout what was happening here… I- I think I left a cigarette on the ground or somethin'," Johnny started choking up. He told Darry about the floor, which had been covered in straw. Darry held a firm face, not showing any emotion.

"He took me out to Dairy Queen ta get some sandwiches. I told 'im I wanted to turn myself in… maybe hope they didn't give me the electric chair or nothin'. Then… we went back and when we did, the church was on fire," Johnny choked out. Tears started to slip from his eyes and Darry reached over, wiping them away.

"Then… Ponyboy ran in. I- I saw how he ain't wait for nothin'. When I heard that man call out his name, I knew I had to follow him. We both got to the kids but…" Johnny stopped. Why hadn't Ponyboy run out? He remembered the little girl crying to Ponyboy, but, he couldn't think of why the little girl didn't just move.

Darry put a soft hand on Johnny's shoulder. He stayed silent, and Johnny knew he was trying to tell him to continue. Unsure of how else to say it, Johnny just said what he could. "He pushed me and the last little girl out… then the church fell on him."

Darry closed his eyes while Johnny sobbed. To Darry, it felt like he was told that Ponyboy died again. His brother, whom he presumed dead, was alive, had been alive. And is now probably dead…

"Im so sorry Darry! I- I should've taken him or somethin'" Johnny sobbed. He couldn't stop apologizing, for the fire and for Ponyboy. Darry wrapped Johnny in a side hug. With a shaky breath, Johnny continued. "Me 'n Dal were rushed here and there was a woman with us. She told us all 'bout Ponyboy."

Darry nodded, "Is he here?" Johnny shook his head, grasping onto the locket that Darry had handed back to him. "They took 'im to Oklahoma City…" Darry nodded, and briefly looked at the time. "I'll be back later, savvy? Dont tell none of the others 'bout what you know," Darry said.

Johnny nodded, knowing what the information could do to the gang. They would probably all try to go to Oklahoma City, but, to find a hospital with Ponyboy in such a big city would be impossible. Darry smiled a bit, "Thank you for telling me Johnnycake." And with that, Darry slipped out of the room, making his way to his job.

There was a new emotion in Darry. Fear? Maybe even excitement. But, he tried to dull down any emotions for that moment. He couldn't get his fears up, after all, he was already struggling to have the State okay with Sodapop dropping out. Part of him was unsure if he'd even be able to get Ponyboy, but, just the thought of his baby brother sent relief through him.

Instead of going straight to work, Darry took a detour, making his way to the cemetery. He stood at his parents graves. No headstone had been put down for Ponyboy, despite Darry telling himself that he would. Still, just the sight of the two gravestones was enough to somehow relax Darry.

"He's alive," he whispered. He tried to ignore the thought that would remind him about the church falling on him. No matter what, Darry told himself, I'll get my baby brother back. The tears that would usually come from standing at his parents graves disappeared, replaced by a small glint of hope for his baby brother.

"Darry?" A soft voice called from behind him. He stiffened, willing himself to turn around and see who called for him…

Chapter Text

Darry turned around, facing face-to-face with Sodapop. There were traces of tear streaks on his face. Darry just looked at Sodapop confused.

"What are you doing here?" Darry finally asked. Sodapops eyebrows furrowed as he looked away. He had been taking the absence of Johnny hard. "Can't I visit Mom and Dad?" Sodapop asked bitterly. Darry noticed however that Sodapop seemed to feel guilty at the outburst, a small frown on his face.

"You're supposed to be at work," Darry said. Sodapop nodded, looking down at the graves. "What did Johnny tell you?" Sodapop asked. His voice was hardly a whisper. Darry didn't want to give him false hope. To tell him that their baby brother was alive, but, in the offhand chance that he wasn't, Darry didn't want Sodapop to go through that grief again. Before Darry could choose his words, Sodapop walked up to him.

"What did he say?" Sodapop asked again. Not finding a good enough reason to lie, Darry looked right at his brother. "He found Ponyboy."

Sodapop took a step back, catching his breath. His eyes went wide. "He- he did?" He asked, his voice shaky. Darry nodded, unsure of what else to say. Should he tell home about the church falling on him? Part of Darry knew he couldn't, just for the fear that his brother would immediately go. "Where is he?" Sodapop asked with more life in his voice. Darry furrowed his eyebrows, "Do ya think it's really a good idea-"

"Darry, that is our baby brother," Sodapops tone was firm, something Darry hadn't heard in a while. He looked at Sodapop, noticing the increasing amount of tears in his eyes. "Seven months we thought he was dead… for a week we thought Johnny was dead. Just tell me Darry- please," Sodapop begged. The tears finally fell, and Darry found himself embracing his brother.

"Oklahoma City… he's in a hospital there," Darry whispered. Instantly, Sodapop was nodding, a newfound fire in his eyes. It was right then and there that Darry knew he couldn't keep Sodapop down. There would be no saying the lengths that he would go for Ponyboy. And if Darry had to admit, he wanted Sodapop to find Ponyboy.

To bring their baby brother home.

With the fire in Sodapops eyes, he practically skipped to work. Not before telling their parents a soft goodbye. Darry watched as Sodapop skipped back to work. I hope I did the right thing by tellin' him, Darry thought. Instantly it hit Darry. "Dont get no ideas to find him!" Darry yelled. Sodapop turned around, a smile on his face as he flipped Darry off.

Darry rolled his eyes. To be honest, his heart ached the same to go find Ponyboy. But, he was the optimist, and he knew deep down, that there was a reason why Ponyboy hadn't come back. Part of him didn't want to know the reason. After all, what if it was something bad? Not to mention the state his baby brother could be in. Hopefully Sodapop not havin' the truck will stop him from going, Darry thought as he made his way back to the truck.

Still, Darry knew that then there wasn't much he could do about his other brother. Mentally, Darry knew that Sodapop would go to any lengths for Ponyboy, no matter what. So, he took a breath, finding it in him to hope with all he had that Ponyboy would come back. For his and Sodapops sake.

~

Sodapops joy was nearly infectious the second he got into work. He smiled through flirting with everyone, even joking around with Steve. It caught Steve off guard. He had thought that the version of Sodapop he was seeing died with Ponyboy, seven months ago.

"What's got ya all jolly?" Steve finally asked. Sodapop gave him a usual lopsided grin, humming a random tune. "Somethin'," Sodapop said, his voice giving a soft drawl to the word. Something in Steve wanted to prod around and see what he could get out of Sodapop. He'll tell me, Steve thought. Right?

Since it was an early shift, Steve and Sodapop were able to get out earlier. "Need a ride Soda?" Steve asked, watching as the gears turned in Sodapops head. Sodapop nodded quickly, loping his way to Steve's car. The second they were both in there though, the mood shifted.

"Let's go to Oklahoma City," Sodapop declared. He had been bursting to tell Steve, but, in the DX he knew he wouldn't be able to. Especially not with the number of greaser girls ready to spread the information everywhere. Steve cocked up an eyebrow to Sodapop, "What?"

"Johnny- Johnny found Ponyboy!" Sodapop finally said. Steve's mouth opened slightly, gaping open like a fish. His eyes were wide as he tried to digest the information. "But isn't Ponyboy-" Steve shut his mouth shut the second he saw Sodapop scowling. Instead, he nodded, "How 'bout we go see Johnny instead?"

After a bit of thinking, Sodapop nodded and Steve found himself driving to the hospital. He had read in the news about Johnny and Dally. The article repeated itself in his head. There was another boy there, the one to run in first. However, due to the critical condition he was in, there wouldn't be any information on him. A pang of fear went through Steve as he looked slightly at Sodapop. It was clear that his friend didn't know about the article, nor the fact that it was probable his baby brother died.

Steve pulled into the hospital, killing the engine and hopping out. Sodapop jumped out, nearly clinging to Steve's side the entire time. Steve knew how fragile Sodapop had been the entire week. Sandy and Johnny had both disappeared, both nearly without a trace. Part of Steve wanted to curse Johnny for giving Sodapop a false hope like that, especially if it was one to hurt him all over again.

They made it to Johnny's room, with Sodapop leading his way into the room. Johnny was awake and Steve instantly noticed the glint of gold in his hands. An ache formed in his heart as he walked up to Johnny's side. It was there, the locket, and Steve hated to admit the small hope that he felt in his heart.

"Hey Johnny," Sodapop greeted cheerfully. Johnny looked up at him, and then at Steve. He followed Steve's eyes, landing right on the locket. Sodapop looked as well, a soft gasp escaping his lips as he looked at it. Shakily, Johnny held it up for Sodapop to see. He thought about telling Sodapop about Ponyboy, and how he saw him.

"Did Darry already tell ya?" Johnny asked, finding it harder to stay awake for some reason. His hands had been aching since Darry left. The nurses had changed his bandages multiple times, trying to find the root cause. They could only put Johnny on sedatives and hope that it would be enough to dull the pain.

Sodapop took the locket, nodding slightly. "Ya said he's in Oklahoma City?"
"Yeah… at least that's what me 'n Dally were told," Johnny muttered. He wanted to tell Sodapop about how the church fell on Ponyboy. It was obvious to Johnny that Sodapop would only listen to the fact that his brother was- or had been- alive. Johnny looked at Steve, noticing that he frowned at the locket.

"I never thought I'd see this again," Sodapop admitted, handing it over to Steve. Steve took it, looking at the broken clasp. "Did he hand this to ya?" Steve asked Johnny. Johnny went pale, looking to Sodapop and then to his lap.

"No… Dally gave it to a nurse for me. I think it fell off Ponyboy's neck when the church fell on him." Sodapop paled as Steve handed Johnny back the locket. Steve looked at Sodapop, hoping that it was enough for him to decide not to go to Oklahoma City. But, the plan backfired. Suddenly, there was a new fire in Sodapops eyes.

"We need to go," Sodapop demanded. Johnny perked up, nodding slightly. Steve sighed, "Get some rest Johnnycake. We'll go." Just as he said that Johnny nodded, his head falling back onto the pillows as he fell asleep. "It's only an hour's drive," Sodapop added. Steve and Sodapop walked back to Steve's car silently. Finally, Steve nodded, "Let's go then."

For a bit, they talked, wondering about Ponyboy. "We should've asked Johnny," Steve said for the hundredth time. Sodapop rolled his eyes, "Ya saw Johnny. Poor kid…" Steve nudged Sodapop, "Yall are the same age." Sodapop smirked, "Just wait till October." They laughed and a solemn mood hit Sodapop.

"I wonder if Ponyboy ever celebrated his birthday."

Steve stiffened. He looked over at his friend for a moment before looking back at the road. "You know he ain't gonna look pretty, right?" Steve asked. Sodapop nodded, "Yeah… but- he's survived a car and a train. Im sure a church would have no effect on him." The joke fell short as Steve finally made it into Oklahoma City.

They stopped at a stoplight. "So where's the hospital?" Steve asked. Sodapop looked around, motioning to some broad on the street. She walked over, looking at Sodapop. "Ya know where the hospital is?" Sodapop asked, putting on his best flirty voice. The girl chuckled a bit, "Which one?" Sodapop shrugged, taking a gamble, "How 'bout the most popular one?"

"Just about over there, the tallest building," she said as she gestured to the building. Sodapop nodded, looking over to Steve. Steve shrugged and accelerated just as the light turned green. "What if this ain't the right hospital?" Steve asked. Sodapop shrugged, "Then we go to the other one."

They got out of the car, taking in the sound of the lively city. It was rare that they ever left Tulsa. Only Sodapop had been out more than Steve, however, usually going to the country instead of a city.

They walked inside, noticing the scent of disinfectant. Everything in the hospital was white, except for the receptionist desk. Sodapop walked over, "Is there a patient of the name, Ponyboy Curtis, here?" The receptionist shook her head, looking over some documents. Steve grunted next to Sodapop.

"Are you sure?" Sodapop asked again. "Well… there's a Ponyboy here. Just not a Ponyboy Curtis," the receptionist said. Still, Sodapop lightly nodded, "Can you let us go to his room?" The receptionist looked around, motioning over a doctor.

"They want to visit Mr.Wood," she said. The doctor nodded. Mr.Wood? Sodapop thought, he looked at Steve, them sharing the same thought. "What's your relation?" The doctor asked. "Im his brother," Sodapop immediately said. After a moment, the doctor nodded.

Steve and Sodapop followed the doctor, noticing the tense atmosphere. Just as they arrived to the door, the doctor stopped. "I must warn you, kids, it ain't lookin' pretty for him. I'm sure you already know the case." Sodapop nodded as Steve put an arm around him.

The doctor, knocked lightly on the door. "Mr.Wood?" He called out. Again with Mr.Wood, Sodapop thought. "Yes?" A mans voice asked. Sodapop shared a look with Steve as the door opened. Sodapop would've expected anyone else other than what looked like a preist to walk out of the room.

Suddenly, anger filled Sodapop. Had his brother really stayed with this man? Did this man kidnap his brother? The only way he stayed still was by Steves arm around him. But even Sodapop could tell that Steve was confused by the man.

"Ah, and you two are?" Mr.Wood asked. "I'm Ponyboy's brother," Sodapop spat. Mr.Wood's eyes widened, "Really?" Steve nodded, "We thought he was dead for seven months." Mr.Wood nodded slightly, "Before you two-"

Sodapop rushed in, looking right at his baby brother. Ponyboy looked weak in the hospital bed. Some burns were on his face, and the amount of machines around him didn't help the sight. Ponyboy's eyes widened as he looked at Sodapop.

Sodapop walked up to the bed. "Hey Ponyboy," Sodapop whispered. Before Ponyboy could say anything, Sodapop hugged him. The scent of car oil filled Ponyboy's senses. Suddenly, it wasn't like he was in a hospital bed. No, it felt as if he was back in the car.

It felt as if he was suffocating as he heard the metal scratch. And that terrified Ponyboy. He pushed Sodapop away just as Jerry and Steve ran in. They looked at the sight, Jerry noticing the frightened state Ponyboy was in.

"Who- who are you?" Ponyboy asked Sodapop, shakily.

Chapter Text

"You- you dont remember me?" Sodapop asked. His heart dropped as he looked at Ponyboy. Ponyboy's eyes were still wide as he looked at Sodapop. Ponyboy noticed that they did look similar, related maybe? He thought as Sodapop backed away from the bed. Ponyboy looked at Jerry, noticing another guy next to him. He scrunched up his eyebrows.

"Let's talk outside boys," Jerry said. Sodapop nodded numbly as he followed Jerry out. Once they were outside of the room, Sodapop noticed that the doctor stayed. "Why doesn't he remember us?" Sodapop asked. "He hasn't remembered anything since a crash seven months ago," Jerry said.

Sodapops mouth turned to a frown. Steve stood next to Sodapop, just as confused. "You were there?" Steve asked. Jerry nodded, "I found him a bit after the initial crash. I found him right as a train hit that car…" Sodapop cringed, an involuntary shiver taking over his body as he tried to push the thought of his brother in the crash. It was starting to make sense, but, Sodapop started to hate it. All he could think about was why his brother couldn't remember him.

"So where has he been?" Sodapop finally asked. The doctor walked past Sodapop into Ponyboy's hospital room. Sodapop looked at Ponyboy again, noticing the curious look his brother gave him as the doctor checked up on him. It was the same look that he would've given a difficult book, and that just made Sodapop feel worse. "He's been in my orphanage. St. Marys Orphanage in Winderixville," Jerry said.

"An orphanage?" Steve immediately interjected. Jerry nodded, "Im the orphan keeper, and preist, Jerry Wood." Sodapop felt his fists tighten. Did Ponyboy know Jerry? Had he been looking for them? All the questions came back with negative answers, especially because even Sodapop knew that Ponyboy hadn't been looking for his family.

"Can we see him?" Sodapop finally asked. His breathing was still off, a sign that he was close to tears. Steve put an arm around him again, trying to stabilize him. This seemed like worse news than finding out that Sandy left him. Steve felt a small pang of regret. He should've never taken Sodapop…

Jerry nodded, "I hope that by seein' you two he'll remember. If he doesn't…" Jerry couldn't finish his sentence before Sodapop was already back inside of the room. He looked at Ponyboy, noticing the way his eyes stayed trained on his. Ponyboy looked at him, confused.

"Do I know you?" Ponyboy asked, an earned country accent lacing his words. It was different to the accent he had in the city, and to the gang lingo he used. Sodapop reminded himself that Ponyboy was alive, that he could be taken home…

But could he?

The thought hit Sodapop hard, leaving him only barely able to stand as Ponyboy kept looking at him. "Ya might," Steve said, his voice taking on a cool tone. Ponyboy nodded slightly, his gaze turning into a glare.

"What do you remember?" Sodapop choked out. Jerry walked in, taking a seat next to Ponyboy. Sodapop tried to not glare at the way Ponyboy put his hand on Jerry's arm. Almost as if Pony was scared. Ponyboy looked down at his lap.

"I remember… yesterday?" He said. Steve snorted, "Like that's gonna help kid." Ponyboy glared at him, a familiar sense of hatred filling his senses. While he didn't remember him, he knew already that the older kid wasn't someone nice. Still, he kept his composure.

"You mean what I remember past seven months ago?" Steve instantly nodded and Sodapop just kept his eyes on his baby brother. He didn't see the child that was Ponyboy anymore. No, he saw how Ponyboy grew taller, and how despite being in an orphanage, somehow the same childlike glint stayed in his eyes. It was Ponyboy, inside and out, just without the prior memory of before the crash.

Ponyboy looked down at his hands. They twitched for the locket again, to wrap the cool metal along his fingers. It was a picture of him inside of it, he remembered. At least, that's what he thought. He tried to think back to then. Was he a mean baby? Or was he sweet?

Ponyboy looked back at Sodapop. Did he hate this brother? Or did he hate the guy next to him? The second question was obvious, but, Ponyboy didn't know why it was obvious. After a moment, Ponyboy shook his head.

"The earliest I could remember is the hospital. It looked exactly like this room," Ponyboy relayed. Sodapop perked up, instantly intrigued. A small low chuckle came from next to Ponyboy. "I sure hope ya remember. You almost spent a whole month 'ere!" Jerry said. Ponyboy blushed, a smile coming to his face. He nodded, "I stayed here until I was good enough to leave… or something."

Ponyboy put a hand to his head. Instantly, Sodapop pulled it away, pushing it back down. Ponyboy looked up at him and then to Jerry. Ponyboy looked at his hands again. They were bandaged up, just like the rest of his body. Steadily, Ponyboy started to realized the presence of a nose cannula.

Was he back to the crash? It sure seemed like it…

Before Ponyboy knew it, his head was thrown back. Tendrils of pain came from the action, causing a whimper to escape his mouth. Tears leaked from his eyes as he tried to stop the pain. It hurt, the pain burning through his skin.

"PAGE FOR A NURSE!" The doctor yelled from the side. Instnatly alarms were going off around Ponyboy. Steve pulled Sodapop away from the sight. The doctor ripped off the blankets on Ponyboy, exposing more of the guaze. Except, some had blood on them, and more bodily liquids. Finally, Steve ripped Sodapop out of the room, leaving him hyperventilating in the hallway.

"Deep breaths Soda-" Steve tried to encourage. His mind also went back to Ponyboy though, and despite trying to help Sodapop, he fell onto the floor next to Sodapop. "Deep breaths," Steve continued, trying to get his own breathing under control. His hands shook for a cigarette and despite not having a light, he still took out his cigarette.

"Got a light?" Steve asked Sodapop wearily. Sodapop nodded slightly, holding out his lighter and a hand for a cigarette. Steve obliged handing Sodapop the cigarette and lighting both of them. Sodapop took a deep puff, lightly coughing as he exhaled.

"Arent you two a bit young to be smokin'?" A voice from above them called out. Steve shot his head up, looking right at Jerry. Sodapop shrugged, standing up. Steve stood up as well, his shaky hands calmed by the nicotine. Steve glared at Jerry, "What's it to you? We see our brother in a hospital bed-"

Jerry nodded slightly, looking back at Ponyboys hospital door. "We don't know how long it'll take for him to recover fully. The doctors guessed a year but." Jerry stopped as if to remember something. "The crash was real bad." Sodapop cringed, and Steve did too. They had heard about the crash, and if the closed caskets were anything to go by, they knew how bad it was.

"Ponyboy was strong through that. They thought he wasn't gonna make it… but a month later and he was fine. I'll tell you what boys, if he gets better, I'll let him decide if he wants to try staying with you," Jerry said. Steves glare softened, trying though? He insticntivly looked over at Sodapop to see how he was doing. Sodapops hands were in fists, "Try? No! Im taking my baby brother back-"

Steve stopped Sodapop. "He doesn't remember us Soda. I doubt he ever will." The words hit Sodapop hard. He fell, holding himself as he sobbed, the cigarette long forgotten. Jerry stomped it out, looking back at Steve.

"Go home boys… you know where to find him now." And with that, Steve nodded. He took Sodapop, who thrashed out at him. And in the car, they drove in silence.

"He ain't ever gonna remember us… is he Steve?" Sodapop asked in a low voice. The roads were empty, with the sunset rapidly approaching. Not knowing what to say Steve shrugged, "I don't know Soda…"

They were quiet once more, only talking when it was time to go inside the house. Steve followed Sodapop, needing a place to crash for the night. Darry sat in the recliner, his head popping up the second Steve and Sodapop walked in. "Where were you guys?" Darry asked. Sodapop hung his head low, "We saw him."

Darry froze and he looked at Steve for confirmation. Steve nodded slightly, his mind going back to the little boy in the hospital bed. "He… he don't remember us, Dar," Sodapops voice was quiet and weak. Darry stepped forward. He didn't remember them?

Sodapop broke down, falling nearly on the floor. Darry held him, falling softly with him. Darry looked at Steve, noticing the other greaser wiping his eyes. "He even flinched when I hugged him," Sodapop added in a quiet voice. Darry held him a bit harder.

He thought that he had gone through all the things that could've happened. Darry thought that Ponyboy would probably just be injured. Maybe a bit confused but be happy to see Sodapop. But to forget about him completely?

"Hes in an orphanage," Steve said. Darry looked up, his eyebrows furrowing. None of the news was going in his head correctly. His baby brother, who he vowed to care for since the day he was born, had forgotten him, and been in an orphanage? Quietly, Steve started to explain everything that had happened in Oklahoma City…

When he was done, Darry also had news. Some included a greaser involved in a murder.

And the trial that awaited him.

Chapter Text

"They want to charge him with first-degree murder," Darry finished, letting some tears of his own fall. Sodapop blinked at him. All in less than a day had he seen his brother, found out his brother didn't remember him, and now about Johnny. "Won't they give him the electric chair or somethin' if it's first-degree?" Steve asked, his voice wavering slightly.

Sodapop gasped as Darry nodded. Darry knew that there wasn't more he could do. All he could do was say that the trial was in two weeks. Two weeks until Johnny was sentenced to death or something worse than death…

After a small moment of silence, Darry helped Sodapop get up. "Go to bed little buddy… a lot of things happened today." Sodapop nodded.

"Need to stay for the night, Steve?" Darry asked, turning around to look at the greaser. Steve shook his head, "I think my dad's off drunk somewhere." Darry nodded, "The couch is always open for you."

"Thanks," Steve said as he turned around to leave. Darry watched as he left, cringing as he slammed the door. With the sudden silence of the house, Darry sat down on the recliner.

Tears started to drip freely from his eyes. He recounted what Sodapop had told him about Ponyboy. Ponyboy was alive… but, he didn't remember them at all. Darry recounted the hurt in Sodapops eyes as Steve told him about Ponyboy flinching away.

Darry unnoticingly clentched his fists when he realized that Ponyboy had been with a whole different family. Or- orphanage for that matter. Was he happy there? Did he know deep down that there were people looking for him? All those questions swam around in Darrys mind as he let himself cry.

Why had it been Ponyboy? Why had it been Johnny? The two youngest never deserved anything like that. Darry had sworn to himself after Ponyboy, that he would make sure that Johnny wasn't hurt. Darry even knew that Dally did the same thing.

They hadn't ever wanted a tragedy to happen to them again.

But now it was happening, once more like shitty deja vu. And there was nearly nothing they could do to stop it. All Darry could do was watch as it happened, and hope that he didn't get caught in the crossfire. After all, he still had a brother that he needed to keep. A brother that he wasn't gonna let the state have.

Finally, when Darry couldn't cry any more, he stood up. He made his way to his room, ignoring the soft sobs that Sodapop gave as he cried. Darry shut the door to his room, placing his forehead on the cool wood. Two weeks, and everything can go from bad to worse…

But two weeks wouldn't kill him. Maybe it would kill Ponyboy, and that was a thought he hated. But, as long as he could survive once more, then maybe after the two weeks, he could have the two youngest back…

~

"Ill fucking kill you!" Dally yelled. It had only been a day since he was discharged. Nearly a week since he was first admitted to the hospital. Now, he was making sure that the socs paid…

"We ain't testifying! Your friend killed Bob!" a soc with a blue Mustang spat. Dally glared at him in the Rusty's parking lot. There wasn't a reason he was here other than to start a fight.

Johnny was still in the hospital, with his hands facing nearly third-degree burns. Dally knew though that it didn't matter. Third-degree or first-degree, no matter what, he needed to protect Johnny.

Without thinking, Dally pulled out a heater he had hidden in his jacket. Almost instantly the socs backed off, muttering to each other. It hadn't taken Cherry much to agree to testify, especially after calling Johnny a "good man." But, even Dally knew that one socy girl wasn't going to be able to convince a whole jury about Johnny's self-defense.

"Woah!" The soc said, putting his hands up in surrender. "Fine! Fine- Ill testify." Dally nodded, pulling the trigger and scaring the soc. "You better or else the next time I shoot this gun, the barrels gonna be full." The socs legs shook as Dally walked away.

Dally's arm ached slightly from the burns he had. The skin had slightly started blistering, a painful sign that it was already healing. Still, it didn't matter to Dally if he had the scars or not. All that mattered was making sure that Johnny stayed out of jail. And especially that he didn't get charged with first-degree murder in any case.

So, Dally went out looking for more socs of Johnny's descriptions. He went out with the heater, ignoring the punches thrown and the way the switchblades clicked as he walked by. In a sense, it gave him an ego boost. They all knew he was carrying a gun, but they didn't know if it was loaded at all or not.

Finally, Dally decided to go to the Curtis house. There was a rumble going on, and he was desperate to go. He was able to catch them as they walked out of the house. Sodapop kept his usual smile, pretending as if he didn't get dumped and have his baby brother forget him all at once.

Even Darry smiled, trying to think about how Ponyboy had been enjoying his life. After all, there was no one to remember to grieve about. The rest of the gang were excited to go, singing and whooping through the streets.

Dally caught up with them, joining in slightly. They met up with the other gangs, and Tim Shepards unit. Curly walked next to Tim cooly, cigarette in his mouth and not a care in the world. At least, that's what it looked like to everyone else.

There hadn't been much rumbles that Darrys gang got into. Not after the Curtis parents deaths. Actually, Darry was still unsure about this. But, deep down, he knew as well as anyone else that he was doing this for Johnny.

It was all for Johnny.

Not for his baby brother that had gotten caught in the crossfire of the entire thing. Not the baby brother who didn't know anything else other than a simple life. Who didn't know about gangs and certainly kept the childish wonder.

And for some reason, it was comforting to Darry.

Steadily, the gangs started to meet in the lot as the socs arrived. Rain drizzled above, painting the lot in mud and water. Then as quickly as the rain started, the rumble started. Dally ignored the aching in his arm and ignored the way his heater slapped against his side as he threw a soc off of Curly.

They all fought, throwing each other and punching each other as much as they could. There was nothing other than the sound of yelling and maybe the occasional insult. Dally didn't speak, immersed in the fight and taking his anger out. Why Johnny? Dally's mind asked itself. Why did it have to be Johnny? Why did it have to be Ponyboy?

Before anyone knew it, the rumble ended, slowing down as the socs ran away. Dally caught one of them, remembering his appearance as the soc who agreed to testify. "Hope you didn't change yer mind," Dally nearly growled. The soc screamed, pushing Dally off.

"Hurry up Randy!" A soc yelled as Randy ran into his car. He flipped Dally off as he sped, leaving the greasers all alone in the lot. After a bit, they all dispersed, going to their own places. Tim Shepard and the Brumly boys went to cause trouble.

"Want to go see Johnny?" Dally asked Two-Bit. After the Curtis parents deaths, they had talked more, learning that their reasons for getting locked up weren't that different. Two-Bits eyes lit up, a sign that he was going to tell the entire gang.

"Wanna go see Johnny?" Two-Bit yelled out to the group. Darry turned around slightly, "Lets get yall all patched up, savvy?"

"I dig," Two-Bit said, looking over to Dally. Dally shrugged cooly, making his way inside. The house seemed as empty as it had for the past months. Not even the sound of the five boys could change that fact.

After patching up everyone, Darry picked up a phonebook. He flipped through the pages, telling everyone to go on without him. Sodapop stayed back for a moment, making sure that Darry was okay. When they were all gone, Darry finally found the number he was looking for.

Saint Marys Orphanage.

Too easily did Darry go to the phone and steadily pick up the phone. His heart pounded through his ears as he punched in the numbers. Was he really going to do this? Why was he going to do this? All these questions swirled through his mind as the dial tone rang in his ear.

~

How does Ponyboy do this?

That was the only question running through Miss Smith's head. How did such a young boy always get the children to bed on time? Even with all the excitement of the church, the children couldn't go to sleep.

Somehow, Jane was able to tire them out by doing chores until they passed out one by one. It wasn't the best choice, but it was her only choice.

Scarlett cried often, her small body nearly doubling over with sobs as she awoke every morning. It got bad to the point that Mary had to sleep in her cot every night.

It had been nearly five days since the incident. Jane was starting to grow weary of the lack of phone calls. Especially with how the kids continuously kept crying for Ponyboy. So that left Jane with one thing. How did Ponyboy do this?

Being the teacher of the kindergarten, Jane would say that she knew how to handle kids. Kids, not grieving kids who need more than a small hug. Kids who need to understand that there was a chance their favorite person wouldn't be coming back.

But Jane couldn't just tell the children that! What would they think? Maybe that Ponyboy was missing and needed to be found. A morbid imagery of the kids searching the graveyard entered her head. She took a breath, helping Johnson back into bed.

Not one kid was spared from the nightmares that raged in their heads. It felt all to common for Jane now to put the kids to bed and stay in Ponyboys cot until another one woke up. Little by little, the kids stopped crying for Ponyboy.

They had reached the final stage of grief, Jane thought. With no more calls from Jerry, she thought that she might as well go to that final stage… just that thought haunted her as she thought about the kids in the ambulance. They had wanted to see Ponyboy again, even going as far as to take his locket.

Would they come for him? She thought. If they knew that he was alive now, wouldn't they go for him? Or would they think itd be better to stay away from a kid who couldn't even remember who they were?

Jane sat at the office of the orphanage. It was where Jerry usually slept and where kids were taken for punishment. Jane couldn't bring herself to incorporated corpral punishment, it just felt wrong to her. So instead, she tried to talk to the kids and instead used the office for talking.

Now, she used it to rest from all the kids that seemed to need to be around her at all times. Mary had taken the closest role to Ponyboy, allowing Johnson to help with the boys while she handled the girls.

It was so strange to see the duo acting all friendly. Strange enough that Jane knew that it had to be because of Ponyboy. But… what would bring them together in that sense?

She sighed, pulling up the phone and searching for the Mercy Hospital number. It had been nearing four days since Jerry last called, leaving her with the small information of Ponyboy. That he would take a whole year to recover. If he recovered, Jane remembered Jerry saying. If his lungs grew strong enough to be able to breathe on their own. And if he was able to walk.

Jane had seen Ponyboy run around the kids to play with them. She had seen how much talent he had. If they weren't such a small town, she knew that Jerry would've sent him to do track or something. So the mere thought of him never walking again haunted her in a way that she never knew she could feel.

After allowing the numbers to ring, Jane waited. The phone dialed in her ear, taunting her for caring so much. Up until someone answered on the other side.

"Mercy Hospital, how may I help you?" A tired receptionist said. Jane cleared her throat, "Uhm, could I talk to Jerry Wood? He should be visiting Ponyboy Wood." There was a brief moment of silence in which Jane held her breathe. Was Jerry even still there? Was Ponyboy still there? Or had he-

"Okay Miss… who is calling?" The receptionist asked. "Oh! Jane Smith," Jane quickly said, releasing a breath at the same time. Once again the silence rang out through the phone and Jane quickly looked at the time. 8 PM, a new record for how she put the kids to bed at least.

"Jane? Is that you?" Jerrys voice came on through the other side. Jane sighed with relief, "Yes it is. Hows Ponyboy?"

"Hes good! Doin' better than what those doctors said he would. At least he's tryin' to walk around." Jane nodded in the phone, happy with the information. "They said if he is able to walk around his entire unit then they'll let him go back," Jerry added. A small flash of hope burned in Janes heart. Finally, good news.

"How are the kids?" Jerry asked. Jane breathed into the phone for a moment. "Theyre… missing Ponyboy a lot," she said, her tone expressing her worry. "Well, tell them Ponyboy will be back soon. Kids got guts; I'll tell you what," Jerry chuckled. Jane smiled, "Well, I should go make sure no one has a nightmare tonight. Call us next time Jerry. The kids think Ponyboys dead." With a final chuckle from the other end of the phone, Jane hung up.

The silence of the orphanage rang out loudly somehow. It nearly taunted Jane with the quietness of the kindergarten as well. Especially with all the press trying to go around and kind out the mystery kid who was an orphan. Before Jane could leave the office, the phone started ringing.

Was it Jerry? But they had just called merely a moment ago! Maybe he forgot to tell me something, Jane thought as she picked up the phone. Deciding to play it safe, she did the usual greeting.

"Saint Marys Orphanage, this is Jane speaking, how may I help you?"

"Uh hello, my name is Darrel Curtis. I was wondering if you had any records of a boy named Ponyboy?" The deep voice on the other side said. There was a small hint of uncertainty as if he didn't really believe a Ponyboy existed. Jane stood there shocked for a bit. "Could I ask for the reason?" Jane asked uneasily.

"I believe he's my brother," Darrel said on the other side, seemingly impatient.

"Of course! Well… let's see-" Jane moved around the office, making sure not to stretch the length of the cord too much. "Well, I have his folder if you want to drop by tomorrow."

"I can't do tomorrow… how about Friday?" The voice on the other side asked. Jane nodded, "Okay Mr.Curtis-"

"Darry, please," Darrel said. "Oh, of course-" Jane backtracked, "-Come by Saint Marys and I'll be happy to help you." With a final goodbye, the phone dial rang in Jane's hands.

His brother?

Chapter Text

"When will I be able to move?" Ponyboy asked the doctor. Sodapop and Steve had left a bit before, almost three hours ago. Ponyboy almost completely forgot about the experience, especially after the doctors had told him and Jerry that he had gotten an infection in some of his burns. They pumped an excess amount of fluids into him, practically drugging him up until all he could do for an hour was slur his words.

Now, he had a clear mind and a clear goal. To get out. The hospital bed haunted him, reminding him of the first week that he had woken up after the crash. It made him think that he was going to forget everything again. And this time, he wanted to remember everything.

"Now kid, you just got diagnosed with an infection, we can't let you move none until you heal from that," the doctor said. Ponyboy rolled his eyes, leaning back into the pillows. Jerry looked at him sternly and Ponyboy quietly apologized. After a moment, the doctor took Jerry out of the room to talk.

Ponyboy sat in the silence, listening to the sound of his own heartbeat replayed loudly for the entire room. It filled the silence and the thoughts running in his head. Mostly, all he could think about were those two boys. Part of him had a feeling that he knew them, that he had known them.

But now, all that showed up in the memories were the recent ones. Where he glared at the Steve guy because he was getting on his nerves. Almost as if Steve's only goal in life is to make sure that Ponyboy hates life. It brought a small disbelieving smile to his face.

Who were those guys? Their accents exposed their obvious city life- and they seemed to know Ponyboy- but just who were they? How had they known him? It brought him back to the kid he saw in the church. How had he known his name?

The meds started to hit Ponyboy harder as he thought. Before he knew it, his mind was somewhere else, and his body was numb from the sheer amount of strength it used to fight every injury he had sustained. Jerry walked back in with the doctor. They instantly noticed the slowed heart rate and the quiet breaths that Ponyboy gave off quietly.

Jerry sat with Ponyboy, taking some of the food that the hospital provided for him. He had no way back home, and god forbid he leave Ponyboy alone in the hospital. So, quietly, Jerry located a bible and started to read the verses out to Ponyboy.

Just as the priest flipped the page, Ponyboy stirred. "N-no!" Ponyboy quietly cried out, trying to reach his injured arms up. His legs kicked, stopping every moment he did. Instantly his hands fell back down, landing on his chest and moving every so slightly.

Jerry sat there shocked, unsure as to what he just witnessed. Ponyboy moved- fully moved. For a moment, the sound of Ponyboy's heart-rate monitor was the only thing keeping Jerry from going and getting a doctor. Maybe Im just tired, Jerry thought to himself, rubbing his eyes and lying his head down on Ponyboy's bed.

~

When Jerry next woke up, he realized one of two things. One was that Ponyboy was awake, and the other was that his back hurt in a way he never thought it could. He sat up instantly, hearing as his bones cracked from the simple action. Ponyboy blinked at him lazily, seemingly going in and out of consciousness.

Jerry thought back to what the doctor had said to him before. There had been prior lung damage done to Ponyboy's lungs, leaving him more compromised than what they'd wanted him to be. Jerry thought that maybe it was all the smoke that Ponyboy had breathed in months ago. But something in his mind reminded him of the guys that had visited Ponyboy.

He didn't know the style personally, but there were always greasers or something. Jerry thought about Jay who ran the cornerstone. The one who greased their hair and used so much slang it was impossible to know what they were saying. Jay smoked as well, always going on lunch breaks just to do so. Jerry once tried to ask them why and only got a dull answer.

But if the greasy hair was anything to go by, Jerry would guess that Ponyboy had been a greaser before landing in the orphanage. It brought a small frown to his face.

"Are you okay sir?" Ponyboy asked, his voice sounding worse than it had before. Jerry nodded, "Just thinking about the bible, kid." It had been the answer that Jerry said all the time when he couldn't place his thoughts into words. After all, it'd be easier for a priest to say "the bible," rather than, "Im thinking about your past life. Who you used to be, and what you are now." Content with the answer, Ponyboy laid back down and stared at the wall, still drugged up.

After a moment, Ponyboy fell back asleep. Jerry noticed the slight fidgeting of his fingers as they moved, almost as if looking for something. When it was clear that it was looking for something to hold onto, Jerry slipped off his ring and put it in Ponyboy's hands. Instantly his fingers worked around the ring, twisting and spinning it as he pleased.

Before Ponyboy fell asleep, he put the ring on, having it nestled on his middle finger snugly. Jerry stayed by his side, watching as nurses came and went, helping Ponyboy as best as they could. They got his fever down, allowing him to rest soundly. When Ponyboy next woke up, they decided to try and give him food.

"C'mon kid, you gotta eat," Jerry said, picking up the plain applesauce the nurses had given him. Ponyboy faced the other way, nearly pouting at the mere sight of it. After a bit, Jerry convinced Ponyboy to eat at least three bites. He did, throwing it up right after.

The doctor came in not too long after that, explaining to Ponyboy that he'd need to keep food down to try and walk. Jerry watched the way that Ponyboy sat up as best as he could. He wasn't one to sit around, Jerry thought as Ponyboy shakily grabbed the applesauce.

Ponyboy's hands were still messed up, burned but slowly blistering. Jerry cringed at Ponyboy shut his eyes as the cup hit a blister, slowly opening them to slightly maneuver the cup away. Still, Ponyboy slurped down the applesauce, dropping it and lying down instantly. Ponyboy shut his eyes, putting his hands over his mouth as if it were going to come out instantly.

Jerry stuck around with a trashcan, just in case Ponyboy couldn't keep it down. But somehow, Ponyboy did, falling asleep for most of the time that it needed to be kept down for. When Ponyboy woke up, the doctor explained to him what they would be trying.

"Physical… therapy?" Ponyboy repeated the doctor. The doctor nodded, pointing to another doctor whose nametag said, "Dr.Nimh." Dr.Nimh nodded, taking Jerrys spot and pulling the sheet off of Ponyboy. Ponyboy squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see the blistering skin underneath.

Jerry held his hand lightly, not wanting to hurt him. Dr.Nimh nodded, looking at Ponyboys skin and slightly motioning to the other doctor. "We will need to flip Ponyboy to see the site," Dr.Nimh said. Jerry nodded, looking to the other doctor who nodded.

Calmly, Jerry walked out, allowing for the doctors to do what they needed to. Jerry walked over to a payphone, using what he had left in his pockets to make a call. Instantly, he listened to Jane.

"Saint Mary Orphanage, this is Jane speaking, how may I help you?" Jane repeated. Jerry laughed, "It's Jerry, Jane. Im here to tell you some more 'bout Ponyboy."
"Oh!-" Jane's voice grew shaky, "-he hasn't… died… has he?"

"No, but they're seein' if he'll be able to walk. Theres something wrong with his lungs Jane. Doctor says the chances are slim for him living," Jerry said. For a moment, Jane stayed silent. "Jane?" Jerry called out.

"Im here Jerry. Sorry, just, poor kid." Jerry nodded into the phone, "I'll call you if there's anything else." With that, Jerry put down the phone, allowing himself to listen to the sound of the hospital.

Finally, he made his way back to Ponyboys hospital room. Just in time to see Dr.Nimh walk out. "Mr.Wood," Dr.Nimh said, catching Jerry off guard. "Hows Ponyboy?" Jerry asked.

"Well, we looked at the site and I think its better than it looks. Have you seen Ponyboy use his legs at all?" Jerry nodded, his mind going back to just last night, "He kicked his legs, both of 'em then dropped them." Dr.Nimh nodded.

"We'll check on him throughout the night, but, I cannot promise anything." Jerry nodded, making his way back into Ponyboy's hospital room. The other doctor was still in there, writing in Ponyboy's charts. He looked up as Jerry walked in.

"Mr.Wood," the doctor greeted. Jerry sat down with Ponyboy, looking at the doctor. Right as the doctor finished writing in Ponyboy's charts, he looked at Jerry as well. "Well, Im sure Dr.Nimh has already told you about the state of Ponyboy?" Jerry nodded, "That there's a small chance he'll be able to walk?"

The doctor nodded, "Also if he can walk, maybe we could have him go home. His infection has healed for the most part and if he can't walk, then we'll still have to send him back. There wouldn't be much more to do to help him."

"What do you mean?" Jerry asked, furrowing his eyebrows slightly. There wouldn't be more to help him? Meaning… if Ponyboy couldn't walk now, then he probably could never? For some reason, the statement scared Jerry more than he wanted to admit.

"If his back is worse than we expect, then there is nothing more we can do," the doctor explained. After a small bout of silence, the doctor nodded and walked out. Jerry looked back at Ponyboy, realizing how his eyes were squeezed shut.

Silently, Jerry grabbed his rosary, and then Ponyboys hand. For the rest of his time there, he prayed. Asking anything above if they could help the child that he had saved.

For him, and for the family waiting for him.

It was Monday by the time Ponyboy was well enough to sit up and even attempt walking around. He pushed himself hard, ignoring the warnings from Dr.Nimh and Jerry. All he could think of was Scarlett and the rest of the kids. He thought about Johnson and his adoption, or if Miss Smith struggled with putting the kids to sleep.

"Ponyboy, kid, calm down," Jerry said, nearly holding Ponyboy down. Ponyboy struggled for a bit, tears coming to his eyes as his skin rubbed against the sheets. He had heard about the chance of him never walking again. And that scared him in ways he never knew he could be. It was almost as if his mind couldn't create the rest of his future without walking. How would he help the orphanage? Would he be sent away?

"Calm down child," Jerry finally said. Ponyboy stopped, tears nearly falling down his eyes as he looked down at his lap. Jerry placed a firm hand on Ponyboy, causing him to look at him. "Whats the rush?" Jerry asked calmly.

"I- I want to get back to everyone," Ponyboy admitted. He wiped at his eyes with his hands. Day by day he was growing stronger than what the doctors thought he could. Everyone saw his progress other than himself and Ponyboy beat himself up for being weak, for not being able to walk in the way he needed to.

"You will see 'em soon kid. But if ya keep trying to move around, you'll never see them. Take it easy," Jerry said. Ponyboy lay down, looking at the ceiling. He bit his tongue, unsure if he wanted to ask Jerry about the kids. He knew that Jerry hadn't left his side once in the entire time since the ambulance. Some doctors even tried to get Jerry to leave, but he didn't.

The ring that Ponyboy slightly played with was another thing. It slightly told Ponyboy that Jerry wasn't going to leave, not if he could help it. The thought brought a small disbelieving smile to Ponyboy's face as he tried to go to sleep. "This is my real family," he mumbled. "I don't wanna go." Jerry carefully placed a hand on Ponyboy. He didn't say anything, but, it was all that Ponyboy needed to go to sleep.

~

"Ponyboy?" Dr.Nimh called out. Groggily, Ponyboy opened his eyes, wiping his face slightly with his hand. It didn't ache as much anymore, not after the first week. He sat up, finding it easier to do so than he had in ages. Jerry carefully held his hand. "What happened?" Ponyboy asked, watching as the two guys looked at him carefully.

"We have a goal for you," Dr.Nimh said. "And if you can complete it, you can go home." Instantly Ponyboy was awake. It had been almost two days since Jerry told Ponyboy to calm down. Through those two days, Ponyboy tried to take it easy and worked with Dr.Nimh to use his legs. Learning carefully how to not yell out in pain every time he took a step; he did it easily, pretending that it didn't ache whenever he accidentally stepped too hard.

He was able to walk around his room for a moment before deciding that the pain was too much. But, that was all Dr.Nimh needed to think that Ponyboy was on a good track to recovery.

"What is it?" Ponyboy asked, desperation hinting at his voice. Dr.Nimh smiled a bit, "Lets try having you walk around the entire unit. If you can do that, then you'll be able to go home today." Instantly Ponyboy looked over to Jerry. Silently, Jerry nodded.

"Can I try right now?" Ponyboy asked. Dr.Nimh chuckled a bit, "Sure. You'll be connected to an IV for a bit so you'll have to take this with you." Dr.Nimh took the small IV stand that was connected to Ponyboy. Instantly, Ponyboy nodded, nearly throwing his legs over the bed to hold onto the IV. Dr.Nimh and Jerry stepped back, carefully watching Ponyboy get up.

Even though Ponyboy hardly spent time outside of his hospital room, he knew that the whole unit was just a small loop. So carefully, he bit his tongue and ignored the skin stretching as he stood up. For a moment he fumbled, legs shaking as he worked to get a good grasp around the IV stand.

Jerry stood nearby, never moving more than a foot away from Ponyboy. Slowly, Ponyboy took some steps, making sure that he distributed weight on both of his legs correctly. Just as he got out of his room, he nearly fell. However, the small trip was easily hidden by changing his grasp on the IV.

No matter what, Ponyboy thought, Im getting out of here. I cant spent another day listening to them. Them, he thought, the nurses that knew slightly that he was a specific that had been there twice. He ignored them for the most part, usually finding their gossip unintresting.

Still, their words stuck with him. They stuck like tar, darkening the thoughts that Ponyboy tried to work to keep light. After all, if he didn't try now, there would be no saying if he'd ever try walking again.

Step, change your grasp, breathe, bite your tongue, repeat. That was all that went through Ponyboys mind as he moved. Copper filled his mouth as he worked down the hallway, continuously being followed along as he did so.

His mind swirled as he carefully turned a corner, one of four. With one out of the way, he tried to pick up his pace. Luckily, it had really only been his back and top legs that had been burned the worst. Everything else was mostly just excess fire damage.

His feet dragged along the ground as he swayed, using the IV as almost a cane. He thought about the orphanage, and then finally his locket. If there was one thing he was certain about, it was that he was going to get that locket back.

Slightly he wondered if Scarlett had it. It was easier to think about the orphanage than to focus on walking. So, he made up random things in his head. It ranged from if Jay had finally gotten fired from stealing at the corner store, to why that kid was in the church.

Another corner, Ponyboy thought. He rounded it easily, starting to think back to Jay and then to the church. Part of him wondered what would've happened if he never went inside the church. However, as if to punish himself, he had to round another corner.

His breathing continued laboriously as he tried to fight the aches that came from his back and legs. To distract himself, he thought about John. John, one of the youngest. He had broken his leg before coming to the orphanage. Ponyboy could deeply recall the day that John had been carried in by someone. Someone who claimed to know Johns parents, and knew that they had hurt John, and decided that it was enough for them in the world.

"Good job Mr.Wood. I can see that you're progressing better than we could've assumed," Dr.Nimh said. Instantly Ponyboy realized he was in front of his room again. He blinked for a moment, looking up and seeing the wide smile on Jerry's face. Only then did he realize what had happened.

Dr.Nimh carefully guided him back to his bed, allowing him to rest. "Ill have your father do the discharge paperwork. For now, you may rest here," Dr.Nimh said. Before Ponyboy could correct him, Jerry and Dr.Nimh left, leaving him with only his thoughts.

Chapter Text

"Aren't you happy to go back?" Jerry asked in the front seat of his car. It was the same one that he had first taken Ponyboy to the hospital in. Jane sat in the passenger seat, being there only to help bring the car to Jerry, and to help Ponyboy inside the car.

"Im glad to get out of there," Ponyboy admitted. He supported himself with two elbow crutches, a suggestion from Dr.Nimh as he started to build up endurance to walking. Carefully, Ponyboy got inside, and they started back on their way to Winderixville.

~

When Ponyboy got back, nearly every child was excited. Jane had told them the night before, allowing the excitement to seep in as she quickly drove the car to the Mercy Hospital. Jay helped to watch the kids, mostly doing it to get out of their actual job. Still, Jane was content with at least having one person to watch all of the kids.

Ponyboy still looked bad. It was obvious that he was tired of the hospital, and most likely from having to try and get better. When they were settled in the car, Ponyboy started asking about the orphanage. She answered Ponyboy's questions about the kids, allowing him to ask as many as he wanted.

She slowed down with answering when he got to how they slept. How would she answer that? That they had spent the first nights bawling their eyes out until they passed out? Or that they had enough nightmares to scare all of them? So, she kept quiet, lying about how they were sleeping well.

Jane hadn't let it spill about Ponyboy's brother visiting during the car ride. She stayed silent, unsure when to bring it up, and how to even bring it up. So, she kept quiet as Jerry transferred Ponyboy to his cot.

The kids cascaded around his cot, calling out to him. Especially Scarlett, who nearly started crying at the sight of Ponyboy. Mary and Johnson stepped up towards him, and the other kids allowed it.

For a moment, they looked scared, almost as if they feared that Ponyboy had forgotten about them. Instead, he smiled at them, looking to Jerry to help him sit up. The second that Ponyboy sat up, he pulled Johnson and Mary into a hug. Jerry walked out of the room, and Miss Smith followed.

"We- we thought you died!" Mary yelled, her body wreaking with sobs. Johnson clutched onto Ponyboy painfully, but Ponyboy didn't move away. Instead, he held onto both of them, trying to comfort them.

His body ached as he finally felt them move away. "It's all my fault," Scarlett said quietly, Instantly Ponyboy looked up at her, nodding as quickly as he could. She hid her face in her hands as Joanne hugged her. Almost every kid was crying, starting to say that it was their fault. "It's not your fault-" Ponyboy tried to intervene.

"Its my fault," Mary said, cutting Ponyboy off. Before Ponyboy could respond to her, Johnson yelled. "Its my fault! I should've never made that stupid bet! Im so stupid!" Johnsons hands balled up into fists in his hair, ripping it. Ponyboy moved quickly, holding onto Johnsons hands.

"It isn't any of yalls faults!" Ponyboy yelled. All the kids quieted down, looking up at Ponyboy with wide eyes. He had never yelled at them like that, not with such desparation in his voice.

"I went in on my own. I wanted to help you all on my own," Ponyboy said confidently. Before Scarlett could interrupt, he shook his head. "I went in myself, I stayed with you Scarlett because I care about you. About all of you," Ponyboy admitted.

They stayed silent for a moment, John was crying now, nearly flinging himself into Ponyboys arms. Ponyboy gently stroked his hair, looking at the rest of the orphans. Quietly, they nodded in understanding, now knowing how much the eldest cared for them.

"Climb in everyone, I have a story to tell you," Ponyboy said. Rapidly, the kids ran to get their cots, pulling them up near Ponyboys and grabbing their blankets and pillows. It had been a tradition to them when a new kid came into their care.

Ponyboy could tell them to climb in with him, allowing for even the newest orphan to join in. They'd learn about each other, and slowly it was a way for them to make friends. Now that there wasn't a new orphan, the tradition felt foreign as all the kids finally settled in near Ponyboy.

Even John had pulled away to pull his cot over, Mary and Johnson helping the younger ones with their cots. Finally, everyone looked up at Ponyboy, waiting for him. His mouth opened, what would he say? What could he even talk about? The hospital visit? Maybe the nurses.

Or, maybe, the fact that he had found his family.

~

"Tomorrow?" Jerry repeated to Jane. Jane nodded stiffly, keeping her eyes downcast. She had barely told Jerry about Ponyboy's brother's visit. They had just left the kids room, allowing them to talk to Ponyboy alone.

Jane had finally told Jerry about the appointment, allowing him to understand what was going to happen. Mostly, with the fact that Ponyboy was going to have to see his brother. Jerry had thought about the possibility of his family coming back but never expected it to be like this.

After a moment, Jane explained about the other two boys and how they knew Ponyboy. All Jerry could do was nod, trying to understand and hope that she was joking. When it was abundantly clear that she was serious, he took a moment.

"Do you know what time he's planning on coming?" Jerry finally asked after Jane finished. Jane shrugged, "He just told me that he'll be here tomorrow." Jerry closed his eyes, tomorrow could be at any time. From early in the morning to late in the evening. Depending on the time as well, there would be a chance that they wouldn't be able to clean the orphanage before he came.

"Did he ask for a visit with Ponyboy?" Jerry asked, a small part of him worrying. He thought back to when Ponyboy saw his other brother. Would he even want to see them? Jerry didn't know, and he wouldn't know until they came.

Finally, Jerry nodded, making a small plan in his head. "We'll get all the kids to go to the school tomorrow but in the morning we'll have them clean up." Jane nodded, noting that she would have to find a place in the school for Ponyboy to sit down in. When the plan was set, Jane left, allowing Jerry to go upstairs and make sure all the kids were sleeping.

He walked in, noticing that all the cots were pushed to Ponyboy, and everyone was gathered around him. They were all sleeping, even Ponyboy, who had Scarlett and Joanne sleeping on him. Jerry moved them to their cots, making sure that everyone stayed asleep.

Ponyboy moved a bit, blinking his eyes wearily as he looked at Jerry. "Sir?" Ponyboy sleepily called out. Jerry pushed his covers higher on Ponyboy. "Make sure the kids clean well tomorrow, youll be headin' to the school," Jerry said. Ponyboy nodded, closing his eyes and going back to sleep.

~

The next morning, Ponyboy was the first to wake up. It was unusal for him, mostly he was always the last person to wake up. All the kids were still around him, shocking him but filling him with a sense of purpose. He lay there for a bit, trying to ignore the aching of burnt skin.

Jerry walked in a moment later, checking on Ponyboy. He had Ponyboys crutches in hand, allowing Ponyboy to get up and try to walk. After narrowly avoiding waking up John and Johnson, Ponyboy followed Jerry to the bathroom. Jerry held some cream and bandages.

"Sit down kid, I'll check the bandages and make sure youre all good," Jerry said. Ponyboy nodded silently, staring off into the distance. The bathroom was clean, and Ponyboy could tell that it was from the younger kids. How bored had they been without him?

The whole place still felt new to Ponyboy, like he was seeing it for the first time. Yet, if you asked him where anything was, he'd have no difficulty in finding it. It was a strange feeling to him. Not knowing, and yet knowing all at the same time.

Jerry checked the bandages on Ponyboy's back first, making sure that there was no sign of infection before washing it with lukewarm water. He rebandaged it and set to work on Ponyboy's other burns.

"Are you sure he was my brother?" Ponyboy finally asked. Jerry froze, confused. Had Ponyboy heard about the conversation he had with Miss Smith? But he couldn't have. Right?

"What do you mean?" Jerry asked, starting to clean up the wounds on Ponyboys hand. "That boy in the hospital," Ponyboy added. "Said he was my brother." Jerry slowly nodded, sighing while he knew that he couldn't hide what was happening.

"Ponyboy, there something I need to-"

"PONY!" A kid frantically screamed. Ponyboy jumped up, wobbling a bit until Jerry made him sit back down. He turned around, trying to go to the door. "Stay here Pony," Jerry said.

"But I-"

"You can't do anything right now kid," Jerry stated. Ponyboy was left speechless as Jerry walked out. His heart raced as he listened to Jerry talk to the kid. Was it Joanne? Maybe even Scarlett. His mind ran wild as he tried to place the scream on a kid.

Finally, Jerry came back in, with Scarlett and Mary. Ponyboy blinked, confused until they sat down near Ponyboy, ignoring the fact that he was having his bandages replaced. "Is everything okay?" Ponyboy asked. He noticed the tear streaks along Scarlett's face.

"She had a nightmare," Mary said, putting an arm around Scarlett. They sat there for a moment as Jerry started to get back to work. Ponyboy could tell Scarlett was bored, starting to fidget with her small teddy bear.

"Why don't you start cleaning the orphanage?" Ponyboy offered. "Ill be down there in a minute." Scarletts eyes lit up a bit as she looked at Mary. Mary nodded, got up, and walked out with Scarlett.

"She left her bear here," Jerry observed. Ponyboy looked at the bear, his hands too busy to pick it up. He shrugged, "I'll bring it with me later." Jerry nodded, finishing the wrap and allowing Ponyboy to crutch his way to his cot.

He picked out the sleeveless navy hoodie, finding it easier to wear than his regular white shirts. With help from Jerry, Ponyboy put on his slacks and made his way downstairs.

All the orphans were doing their chores. They talked quietly, and the second Ponyboy came down, they worked harder. Jerry made breakfast, instructing Ponyboy to sit down.

Scarlett looked around for a moment, before sitting down next to Ponyboy. The rest of the kids followed, starting to take the food Jerry had made. As they settled around the table, Jerry led them in prayer.

Ponyboy felt a sense of familiarity. He felt the casual routine seeping in, and he knew that in a moment he would have to help the kids brush their hair. As if on queue, Scarlett ran upstairs to be the first one ready.

Ponyboy got up, ready to follow them and help any kids with getting ready. However, he didn't make it far before Johnson pulled him to sit down again. Mary stood near him, "We'll take care of it Ponyboy!"

Hoping he could trust them, Ponyboy nodded and watched as Mary and Johnson ran. They smiled, not bickering for the first time. "They grow up so fast," Ponyboy remarked. Jerry nearly guffawed.

"You're forty years too early to be sayin' stuff like that kid," Jerry said. Ponyboy nodded, still looking, "Maybe that's what death does to ya." Jerry stayed silent. Ponyboy looked down at his hands, especially the pointer finger with Jerry's ring. Part of him wanted to keep it, especially since his locket was gone now.

"Is there something happening today?" Ponyboy asked. Jerry nodded slightly, not trusting himself to say anything. Before Jerry could say anything, Scarlett ran down, her dress backwards, and a brush in hand.

"Bwush!" She called out. Ponyboy smiled, motioning her over and taking the brush. He carefully brushed her hair, taking any hair ties she had and tying her hair into its usual pigtails.

Jerry walked outside for a cigarette as Ponyboy worked with the little kids. Even though Ponyboy couldn't walk for long periods of time, the kids had just known to go to him instantly. Jerry couldn't help but keep looking at the time. 7 AM, already time for the kids to go to school.

His cigarette was halfway done. Somehow he'd spent more time thinking than actually smoking. Before he could dwell on it more, he opened the door, seeing that everyone else was already ready. Jerry noticed the line in front of Ponyboy. All the kids had their hair neatly done, even John who usually found a way to mess it up.

"Everyone ready?" Jerry asked. He had taken Ponyboy's job of reminding the kids about school. It was a silly thought that made him smile as Ponyboy used his crutches to make his way out of the orphanage. The kids followed him, not bothered by his slow pace, nor how he had to take a breather every so often.

By the time all the kids made it to the school, they were thirty minutes late. Miss Jane was understanding, allowing Ponyboy to sit down in a colorful corner. All the kids gathered around her, laughing as she tried to get everyone to settle down.

Even thought Ponyboy knew he wasn't going to be much help, he got up. He instructed the kids to follow Miss Smith, and even helped with some of the lessons. Miss Smith was thankful, allowing the kids an extra thirty minutes to their usual twenty-minute recess.

"Bear?" Ponyboy heard Scarlett ask. He looked over, realizing the little girl didn't have her bear with her. His heart dropped as he remembered where it was, and how long it had been since he saw it. Scarlett looked close to tears as she walked to Ponyboy.

"Wheres…" Scarlett couldn't finish her sentence without crying. Ponyboy tried to soothe her, knowing that he couldn't. Guilt ripped through his heart as he looked to Miss Smith.

"Ill be back," he said, with newfound courage. Miss Smiths eyebrows creased, "Are you sure?" Ponyboy nodded, figuring that if he tried, he'd be able to make it back and forth quickly.

Before Miss Smith could reject it, Ponyboy started walking back to the orpahange. It wasnt too far, only a block or two. He cringed at the thought of taking thirty minutes to get back, but knew that the school day would still be in session.

As he got closer to the orphanage, he realized that two cars were parked in front of it. Fear and uncertainty passed through his heart. What was happening? Was it for Johnson? Had his family finally come to take him home? Maybe it was one of the other orphans getting adopted. Still, he pushed the thoughts out, making his way to the back of the orphanage to get inside.

The back door was old, and nearly impossible to find. At least until it was opened. Even from inside it was hard to find, which made it a perfect place where Johnson would leave from and skip chores. Mary would always get on his case after that, tattling to Ponyboy. The memory made Ponyboy smile as he hobbled his way through the dead grass.

His crutches got stuck in muddy parts of the grass. He was careful not to overdo with pulling them, not wanting any of his bandages to come undone. Still, he had to multitask with finding the door, and even getting there. Ponyboy found it quickly, using one of his crutches to leverage it open and scurry up the stairs.

He hoped that he didn't leave a mud trail. If it was the state visiting, then there would be a big issue, Ponyboy thought. He cringed at the thought as he tried to hurry up the stairs. Quickly he found Scarletts teddy bear on the bathroom floor. Guilt hit him once more as he thought about the fact he left such a precious thing there. Still, he stayed quiet until he made sure everyone was downstairs.

He couldn't tell what anyone was saying. All he knew though was that there were multiple people. Four? No- five? His heart thumped through his ears as he carefully made his way downstairs. He knew that anyone could see him, and with the pace he was going, he wasn't surprised if they did.

Just as he descended to the last step, he saw someone looking at him. They held a cold glare but seemed shocked when they looked at Ponyboy. His icy blue eyes locked onto Ponyboys. Ponyboy could see the tuffs of nearly white hair that less than gracefully fell from that man's head. Before Ponyboy could think, he ran out and made his way to the back door. Mentally he hoped that they wouldn't be able to see the door when he closed it.

Every step was growing into silent agony as Ponyboy tried to hurry up. The thumping of footsteps kept him going, reminding him that he needed to hurry up. Finally, he was able to shut the door, stopping anyone from knowing where he was. Still, not taking any chances, Ponyboy used his crutch and tried to run as quickly to the school as he could.

By the time he got there, recess was wrapping up, and Miss Smith looked glad to see Ponyboy. "Are you okay Pony?" She asked, putting a hand on Ponyboy's forehead. She noticed the beats of sweat forming at his hairline, either a fever or him pushing himself too far, she thought. Ponyboy tried to ignore the aching in his legs, a sign that he'd need to redo the bandages.

Ponyboy just nodded, "Im fine." Scarlett bounded over, excited as Ponyboy pulled up the teddy bear. She hugged it, tears nearly falling from her eyes as she did so. Ponyboy smiled at the sight, trying to forget the boy that caught his eye and tried to run after him. He remembered him slightly as the kid outside of the church. Just the thought of the church made him shiver.

It also made him think, how did he even get out of the church? Before he could think more about it, Miss Smith called all the children inside, including Ponyboy. He nodded, trying to make his way to the door. A car passed by, prompting him to look as it drove. He noticed the boy looking at him, right next to the other guy who helped Ponyboy with the kids in the church. They stared at him, wide-eyed as they drove off.

Ponyboy felt an unfamiliar shiver go down his spine. Did he know them? His mind raced back to inside the church and the boy who knew his name. How did he know? Was it from Jerry? But everything didn't make sense. Squeezing his eyes shut, he took a breath before going inside.

Miss Smith had set up the reading corner, allowing Ponyboy to settle on some pillows. His legs ached and he could tell that with the wetness from his bandages, he'd need to rewrap his legs. Still, he just sat down, trying to forget the boy from the church and the other boy outside the church. They weren't important to him. Right?

~

There wasn't anything to say other than Jerry was stressed. He was stressed thinking about Ponyboy's brother, and even more stressed to find that his brother brought along five other boys. Two of the five, Jerry realized, were the boys who came to see Ponyboy. That and another two were the ones who helped Ponyboy take the children from the church.

For Jerry, the best part of the tour was sending them back home. Not because he hated them or anything, but because he himself had made a decision. His decision was fully set by the time the kids came home from school. It came right as he wrapped Ponyboy's legs with more bandages.

"So… was anyone here?" Ponyboy asked. Jerry nodded, furrowing his eyebrow slightly as he looked at Ponyboy's crutches.

"Did you go somewhere?"Jerry asked. Ponyboy looked, seeing the caked-on dirt from when he ran from the orphanage. His mouth went dry as he stammered. "I- I."

Jerry looked at him, "Are you gonna tell me the truth kid?" Ponyboy looked down, nodding as he felt his cheeks warm up. "I forgot Scarletts bear here and so I came by to get it…"

Jerry's eyes widened, "So you were-"

"I heard some people here. I didn't know if they were the state or anything-" Before Ponyboy could finish his sentence, Jerry lightly hugged him. He backed down, his face suddenly serious.

"Ponyboy, there's somethin' I gotta tell you. And I know you ain't gonna like it, but it's what you need to know." Ponyboy's heart sped up. Did something happen? Was it him? Suddenly the watchful eyes of that car hit him. Was it them?

"Your brother came by, and he wants to take you back." Ponyboy's heart dropped.

"Are ya sure he's my brother?" Ponyboy's voice was breaking, as he started to shake. Tears were threatening to spill. Why, he thought, why now?

"I ain't sure… but its up to you kid. You can stay here, or you can go with them."

Chapter Text

Yo yo youngsters 😎 what is up.

Okay weird I know I’m tweaking right now so 😭😭😭 UHHHHHH this is gonna be a long little story. Soooo short story long:
I had my first of school and I was being all confident. I may or may not have joined five clubs (two out of the five unwillingly,) and will NOT have time. Time for what? You may ask. To write dawg.

I’ve been falling behind and I didn’t want to admit this butttt…….. I’m a slow ahh writer. I TRIED OKAY? I tried SOO HARD to finish this fic 😭😭😭 but bro…. I got HALFWAY and the chapter I had is SO LONG DUDE.

Look lil buddies, ima say it plain and simple. Until I can switch schools, I’m stuck with having to push back talking to people and interacting with The Outsiders fandom. Before you ask “Paulster! Are you leaving us? 🤯”

The answer is “no silly Willy dilly milly Lilly.” Not yet at least 💀 Nah jk you’re stuck with my mind. I have a fic idea that will probably change everything of my writing and will take the most out of me, butttt you’ll see it after I finish this and like 5 other works.

Ohhh my bad I forgot about the actual question. Uhhhh. I’m writing this in one go because of how cringe I act. 😭😭😭 I’m working on it man 😞

SO FOR SHORT THIS STORY WILL BE GOING ON AN INDEFINITE HIATUS!!! 😱😱😱😱
FEAR NOT OR FEAR AS MUCH AS YOU WANT! I DONT HAVE ANY SAY OVER YOUR ACTIONS! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT SAY I DO HAVE OVER YOUR ACTIONS? BY INFLUENCING YOU.

GO DO WHAT YOU WANT TO. DRINK SOME WATER, PLAY A GAME, WRITE! READ!, ANYTHING!!! DO SOMETHING THATLL MAKE YOU HAPPY TODAY! :D

I always want to spread positivity. So if I get hit by a car and die; I want this to be my final message 😫😫😫😫

For now lil busters…. It’s time for me to return to Gotham and take my job as Batman seriously 😞 I’ll be back. Someone remind me LMAO 😭 I have bad memory 💀

Gosh I’m so scared that I’m prolonging this. I don’t want this to be a final goodbye but it’s feeling like it man 😭😭😭😭 I’ll miss you all very dearly :( I’m so sorry this has to end like this for now.

Stay gold.