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Klyntar aren't supposed to form bonds.
He's seen it all. He's done it before. Klyntar take and take and take. They find a host and take all of their nutrients, leaving nothing but a walking husk remaining. They take over their mind and body and memories until nothing is left. And once that point is reached, the symbiote leaves and finds a new host to repeat the cycle.
He and his species have devoured entire species for billions of years. He has so many memories of them tearing down their hosts and hunting whatever they could find. And he's done it. He'd done it with them while he could. It was good. Well, the eating heads part was. But it was never enough. Taking a host and leaving it once they're bodies have exerted themselves too far never felt right to him. He'd had many hosts before, doing what his species always did, but it always felt like something was missing. He didn't want that. What he wanted was a perfect host.
A perfect host. A host that he wouldn't dominate and have full control over them to the point that there is nothing left of what they used to be. A host that he could call his and they could call him their's. He wanted to have a bond and connection with his host. He wanted a host who he could trust and who they could trust. He wanted to live together as one with his host.
He's seen it across millions of planets and galaxies. Not exactly hosts, but partners. Soulmates.
Soulmates. Not really something his species did.
It's not like his species needed partners anyway, though he has tried. He was always seen as weird and a “loser” for wanting something like that. He remembers once when he told Riot that when Riot asked why he was using up his hosts so quickly, but all he got was Riot calling him “pathetic.” So, he just kept doing what he was supposed to do.
And then he crashed onto planet Earth, where he was away from his species for months and free to be himself.
Hosts were harder to find than he would've liked. When he had first landed on Earth, they had had hundreds of hosts. None of them worked out though, and everyone he would fuse with just ended up rotting away. He'd use them up like a little parasite and leave once he took all he could, because that's all their bodies could do.
But finally, after so many years, he finally found the perfect host. Eddie.
Everything just felt so right. He doesn't even know how to describe it. It was just so many things that he didn't know how to put into words. But Eddie's body never rotted. He didn't die on him. He was a loser, just like him, but Eddie thought that he was cool. He called them a we. He talked to him and would listen to what he had to say, treating him like a being and… a partner. At that point, Venom knew that he couldn't let Eddie go.
Soulmates. The word was nice, even if a bit sappy. The word fit them so well though. But he's had a near-perfect host before, many years ago, and it ended terribly. He felt awful and like his entire world crashed into him. He doesn't know what he would've done differently. Maybe he got attached too quickly, or he didn't see how unhappy they were. He doesn't know, and he doesn't want to fall into that trap ever again. If the host wasn't happy with him, then it wasn't meant to be. But, it didn't feel like that with Eddie. Maybe he's just blinding himself with what he wants to see again, but it's like he can feel Eddie's love for him throughout his entire being. He can tell when his hosts' feelings and moods shift, and he's felt Eddie's shift a while ago. He can trace it back to sometime near after the kiss. It was a soft feeling. It felt nice and comfortable and affectionate and well… loving.
Venom loves Eddie. He's told him this before. But it was a quick moment before it passed. How do you even bring it up again, without it being a passing moment? How do you know that what you feel is genuine? How do you know if all of this is real when you're a species that doesn't need connection?
It was difficult and frustrating; knowing what you feel, but not knowing how to voice it, or knowing what to do with it. But, the best he can try to do is figure it out.
For one; the soft and ‘affectionate’ feelings. The soft feelings are felt in moments like he and Eddie lying on their bed after a particularly long day, with their brains thinking about nothing in particular. He feels a soft feeling as he feels Eddie's relaxed heartbeat. He feels a soft feeling as he listens to Eddie's breathing. He feels a soft feeling when he morphs into a somewhat humanoid being and lays beside Eddie. He feels a soft feeling in those rare moments when Eddie cuddles up to him or the rare moments when Venom will cuddle up to Eddie.
The affectionate feeling, which is so closely tied to the soft feeling, but that comes when Eddie shows his fondness for them. It's in the daily stuff like Eddie buying him chocolate or tater tots or Eddie letting him feast on bad guys once in a while. There was even that one time when Eddie bought him a heart-shaped box of chocolate for a holiday called Valentine's Day, which ended in them getting into a playful argument on whether Eddie loved them or not because, from what Venom understood, people get their partners chocolate on Valentine's Day. It ended with them surrounded by chocolate wrappers and falling asleep on their couch while some old rom-com played on the motel TV.
And then there's a third feeling he can't describe, but it's the feeling they get when they're close to Eddie. They're always close to Eddie, they're fused with him, but it feels more than that. It felt like they needed to be closer to him. He doesn't know when their feelings started, but he knows that it was the most intense when he took Annie as a host and kissed Eddie. It felt amazing. They liked the way Eddie's face felt in their claws. They liked the way Eddie smelled and how Eddie tasted. They loved that they were able to find a way to physically show their affection to Eddie. They needed more of it.
Is this what having a soulmate felt like?
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“Venom, you okay there, bud?” Eddie's voice spoke over the muffled and ratty motel TV. “You seem oddly quiet.”
It was around one in the morning. The lights in the apartment were dim and Eddie seemed half asleep, but he stayed awake trying to force his mind to focus on this random document (despite Venom's protests).
Venom had his head sticking out, laying on Eddie's shoulder, half asleep himself. It felt peaceful. He liked the feeling. He remembers when he first got with Eddie, he would always feel bored when he slept, and exploring his dreams could only be so entertaining. But after a while of that, (and Eddie getting sick of his dreams being invaded), he suggested that maybe, they should give sleeping a try. They argued over it for a bit, which ended up being one of the few times Venom lost a fight and one of the few times Eddie was right for once. It wasn't so bad. Sleeping was a nice way to rest their mind. But, it wasn't really working right now.
“Eddie,” Venom replied. “Do you have a soulmate?”
Eddie blinked. “Where is this coming from?”
Venom made a humming sound in reply, stirring around a bit. “I am just wondering. Does everyone have a soulmate?”
Venom could feel Eddie's pulse quicken for a second before calming down again. He tapped his fingers on the couch and bounced his leg a bit, and Venom could feel Eddie waking up a bit more. Was this question causing Eddie unease?
“I'm not sure if soulmates are real. I mean, I used to think they were real-”
“Is Annie your soulmate?”
Venom could feel Eddie beginning to sweat. “I uh- thought so. For a while.” he went quiet for a bit before speaking again. “I'm sorry, where is this coming from?”
Venom ignored that last part. “I think soulmates are real. I found you.”
“Hmm. Okay then.”
They sat in silence for a bit before Eddie spoke up again.
“Wait, did you just say that I'm your soulmate?”
Venom turned slightly more goopy. Embarrassment. Hm. That's something they rarely felt. “A soulmate is someone you have a connection with and whom you feel very close with. Do we not have that?” Venom moved his head over to look at Eddie's face, tilting his head slightly.
Eddie avoided eye contact with Venom. “I mean, maybe. But, like, the word is mostly used to describe people who love each other.”
Oh. People who loved each other. It's not like Venom didn't know that. But, does Eddie not love them? On the beach, Eddie had denied saying that he wasn't in love with Venom, but Venom felt Eddie's feelings, and they said otherwise. That was all the proof he needed. But, were they wrong? Maybe like some of their previous hosts, they had mistaken their feelings and twisted what they felt to fit what Venom thought they should feel. But still-
“Does Eddie not love Venom?”
Venom felt Eddie's pulse quicken again. “Well, I mean- it's a strong word and like-” he paused for a second. “I'm sorry, where is this coming from?” he said for a third time.
Venom went quiet for a bit. There's the issue again. The issue of how to bring it up. There were so many moments that Venom wanted to bring up, but it felt so difficult; like something was stopping him. He hated this feeling. He said it before himself. They have no secrets. So why is it still so hard to bring up? Still, he had to at least try.
“I was thinking about our moments together,” he started. Which moment does he bring up? “Remember in the forest, we kissed, and you seemed to enjoy it.” Venom remembers Eddie's wide-eyed look at seeing him again, and how Eddie gave no form of protest when he kissed him, letting out soft moans and deepening the kiss himself before he even knew it was Annie Venom had taken over.
Eddie seemed to be flustered at that. “Yeah, but like-”
“Did you not enjoy it?” Venom interrupted.
“No!” Eddie nearly shouted the first part, and Venom tilted his head in confusion. He then cleared his throat. “No, I did.”
“What about the other times?” Venom started. “The other times we have spent time together?” \
“What do you mean by that?” Eddie mirrored Venom's head tilt.
Bringing up things. Remember, we keep no secrets.
“You sometimes let me cuddle you when we are sleeping. And sometimes, you will cuddle me.”
Eddie bites his nails, looking to the side of the room. Venom decided to keep going.
“Even now, you let me lay my head on your shoulder. And, on Valentine's Day, you bought me a heart-shaped box full of chocolate. Is that not what partners do?”
“Stop. Just stop.” Eddie massaged the temples on his head and Venom lowered himself. Had they said too much? Did they ruin this host too? He hadn't meant to make Eddie feel bad; they were just trying their best to open up. But maybe that was the wrong thing to do-
Eddie took a deep sigh. “Venom, listen to me.” He grabbed Venom's face with his hands, which quickly kept Venom's attention on him. Eddie took a deep breath again. “Venom, I-I do care about you. And, I do think I lo-” he paused for a bit as he tried to collect his words again, his face reddening. “Like you. But- right now, love just feels like a really strong word.” Venom kept listening. “I just- I've had some bad experiences in the past, and the whole thing that happened with Anne-” he took in a shaky breath. “I just- I'm not sure if I'm ready to tell someone that I love them again.”
Love. Eddie does love me! Venom felt a very giddy and excited emotion, but he kept calm; for Eddie's sake.
“I admit Eddie,” Venom began to say. “I am able to relate to what you are feeling. I have had bad experiences with other hosts in the past before. It made me nervous to bring this up with you.”
Eddie chuckled a bit at that. “Well, nice to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way.”
Should he ask him now? Or would it be a bad time to-
“Hey, Ven,” Eddie started. “Can you come out more for a second? It'd be nice if I could hug you right now.”
Oh thank God, they didn't have to ask it.
Venom obliged instantly, letting out more of his body. It wasn't enough where he was able to grow legs, but he did keep his head, neck, and torso. Eddie immediately wrapped his arms around him, bringing Venom's head down to their shoulder. Venom felt that same soft and affectionate feeling he's felt before, combined with a kind of giddy feeling. They stayed like that for a while.
“Mm. I wish Annie were here.”
Eddie rubbed Venom's back before kissing his neck, and Venom's giddy feeling grew. “I know bud. But, let's just enjoy each other right now.”