Chapter Text
(Y/N)'s POV
Embry’s text got me worried. He had never been so abrupt with me; he would always send the sweetest messages, anything to remind me that he would always be by my side, even if he couldn’t really be there for me physically. So, the only thing his short, curt message could do was worry me, forcing me to make all these different scenarios in my head, not actually knowing what this was all about or what would happen.
Though unfortunately, I had an idea what it could be all about, and I just wished it wasn’t. I didn’t want Embry to be upset at me, but all I could think was Edward’s words, telling me that the pack would not appreciate me getting in their territory, even if I was Embry’s mate. But, this must have been more serious than that.
Embry must have talked to his mother, and she, in return, must have told him everything. And that was what I was worried about: Embry’s reaction to me approaching his mother. I knew that Embry trusted me, but his mother, imprint or not, was out of everyone’s jurisdiction. Whether packmate or imprint, Tiffany Call could not know anything about her son’s activities outside of their home.
And there I was, spilling the beans, telling her unimaginable things. And though I never revealed my true identity or Embry’s true nature, I could not just be certain that Embry would believe his mother’s words - whatever she told him. He must be thinking that she was hiding things from him, just to test him or something. I couldn’t think right, as I was overwhelmed by guilt and worry. I barely heard the door breaking wide open, and Embry’s warning growls.
“How could you, (Y/N)? How could you do this to me? To my mom? What were you thinking? Were you even thinking?” The usually tame wolf was growling, spitting his words like venom.
"Please, Embry, let me explain." I tried to move closer to him, but he took a few steps back, widening the distance between us. He seemed to be slightly shaking, baffled between controlling the wolf inside him, or letting him loose and tearing me apart.
“Why did you talk to my mother, (Y/N)? I told you I didn’t want to get her involved in anything! Why did you go behind my back like this? I bet you had designed this whole trip just to get me away from the rez, so you could talk to my mother, didn’t you? I cannot believe you! Seriously!”
“I am truly sorry about going behind your back, Embry. But, I swear, I didn’t tell her anything about the shifters or the vampires or anything else ‘supernatural’. You have to believe me. I only want what’s best for you, and I know how much you love your mother, and it killed you to let her in the dark, or to watch her suffer because you couldn’t tell her. I tried to find an excuse as to why you were out all the time, without actually telling her the real reason why. I just wanted her to stop worrying about you, Embry!”
“You planned this whole thing, huh? You wanted me to get out of the reservation, so you, a vampire, could go in there, and approach my mother, (Y/N)? You could have easily killed her, and I wouldn’t know a thing, ‘cause I trusted you!”
“Embry, I’m sorry but I needed to fix things, and I needed you to stay away because..because I knew you wouldn’t like me getting involved in your family’s life. But I had the best intentions in mind. I would never hurt your mother. I would never do anything to hurt you.”
“You know what? It was not up to you to “fix” anything. That was my thing to do. I had to fix things with my mother. I didn’t want you to come like some sort of philanthropist with your money and your fancy stuff to convince my mother that I was actually taking care of her. I didn’t need you to fix my relationship with my mother. That was not up to you. Stop playing God, and try to think for once before you do anything.” Embry spat his every word like it was venom.
“I was only trying to help you rebuild your relationship with your mother. Because I know how it is to lose your mother, metaphorically or literally.” My voice broke at my confession, but Embry did not stop there, rage consuming him completely.
“Is that so? Did you do that just because you lost your mother? And you didn’t want me to lose mine like this? Well, maybe, you should not have gotten involved in this at all. That was mine to fix in the end, (Y/N)! Not yours! Can you just mind your own business? Just let me be, for once! You think you’re “goody-two-shoes”, but you’re still a vampire! A rich, privileged vampire who thinks that money can fix everything, right? Well, you’re wrong! I..I cannot even look at you right now.”
“Embry, please, don’t do this.” My voice was breaking, but tears could not fall off my eyes.
“You truly are a monster, (Y/N)! Not me, or Sam, or the other members of the pack. You and your fellow vampires! You are all monsters! Do you have any idea what you all caused us? If it weren’t for all of you, I would have never transformed into what I am now! You caused all that to me! To every single one of us! You are the true monsters, and I don’t want to see you ever again!” Embry spat every single one of his words right into my face, staring angrily at whatever there was left of my soul.
“I’m sorry that I am a monster, okay? I’m sorry. I didn’t choose that life, but I’m sorry. You knew what I was from the very beginning, but now it bothers you? Now you don’t like me?” I couldn’t believe what he was saying. I was feeling my undead heart break. No physical pain could ever amount to the emotional pain Embry’s words caused me. I tried to reach out to him, but, before I could, Embry pulled farther away from me. “Embry, don’t..”
“I bet the imprint, the mate bond, whatever you want to call it, was all an illusion. A made-up lie. A way to get closer to the pack and manipulate us. You found the weakest link and you decided to take advantage of it. Everything I felt, everything you ever made me feel was an illusion, a lie, a way to control me. Well, I will not be your puppet anymore! I wish I had never met you!”
I felt like knives cutting through my skin, as if it was the softest material in the world, as I watched Embry just take off, running out of the house as fast as he could, and into the woods, where I heard his bones cracking and his wolf growling.
At that time, I felt my whole world crashing down, and I let my body crash on the floor. I could not believe what just happened; I could not believe how much Embry hated me right now. The lump on my throat was now blocking my breathing that I would not normally need. I felt lost and desperate.
I was used to being the one Embry loved; his imprint; “the love of his life”. And now, I was nothing. I felt like I was nothing. By saying he hated me, Embry was renouncing the bond, every moment we spent together, our future. Embry was renouncing me.
The burn in my throat was more prominent than any kind of thirst possible. My mind was filled with the darkest thoughts, and the room was spinning around me. I was used to Embry numbing the pain in my mind away; I was used to having Embry and falling into his arms when I was feeling melancholic and alone.
But Embry was gone now. He was long gone, and I was feeling terribly alone and desperate. I was feeling a hole in my chest that nobody would ever be able to fill. Because, when Embry left, he took a part of me with him, and that could never be replaced.
I couldn't stay here anymore. Nothing mattered anymore; not this house, not the cars, not even me. Nothing would be the same without Embry. I had to get out of here as soon as I could.
I quickly grabbed a pen and paper, writing some excuses for the Cullens, as to why I would be gone. I didn't know if they'd found out eventually, and I hoped they didn't. They were quite protective of me, and I wouldn't want to turn their anger towards Embry.
After all, he was right. I was a monster. A terrible, human-eating monster, and the only way I could get rid of that monster was to get away from the source that triggered that monster. I had to get away now, before I hurt anyone else.
I scribbled down the letter for the Cullens, and put the pen down loudly, spilling ink all over the kitchen top. Angry at myself, I did the one thing I knew well: I started running.
Without realizing exactly what I was doing, I started running through the woods, away from my house. I wished I could cry; I needed to cry so badly right now. My mind was fuzzy, confused, and disoriented. I was slowly giving in to my own illusions which I didn’t even care to fight right now. I was losing my mind, just as I lost Embry. I just wanted to run away, because I now knew that I had nothing to live for. I would let myself perish. I had lived a long life and I was now ready to say goodbye to it. To stop being the monster.
I didn’t know where I was running towards; I just hoped that I didn’t cross any human. I was falling in and out of my illusions. One moment I would see the trees, flowers, rocks, and nature around me, and the next I would only see Embry’s angry face; Embry yelling at me, calling me a monster; Embry wishing he had never met me.
I couldn’t think straight. I just ran away from everyone and everything. Nothing mattered to me now, so there was no point in staying here. I would run away, away from everyone I knew. From the moment that my own mate did not want to have anything to do with me, was there a point in staying here anymore?
I had the option of getting away, while he still had to stay behind. I preferred it to be me the one to make that sacrifice if it meant that he won’t be hurt and disgusted with me anymore. I didn’t want to stay here if that meant that he would get hurt or angry anytime he saw me, or anytime anyone talked about me. I would leave him alone, at peace. It would be as if I never existed; as if I never destroyed his life and the pack’s lives.
I was so lost that I did not realize I fell into Quileute territory.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Paul’s POV
As soon as we came back from the trip, it was my turn to patrol around the territory, alongside Collin and Brady. The younger wolves, although less experienced than the rest of us, had been doing a great job keeping bloodsuckers away, though I already knew that (Y/N) had also promised that she would make sure nobody of her kind entered the reservation.
I must admit that, at first, I was nowhere near happy or fine with the fact that Embry had found a vampire for his imprint. However, I admitted that (Y/N) managed to grow on me, as well as the others around the pack. She was different from the other bloodsuckers, and she was not afraid to fight me if I ever asked her to. Though I didn’t know her for long enough, I could say that I did consider her my friend, or an older sister I never had.
She was nice to us, even though we always kept our distance from her because we did not fully trust her nature. But she cared for Embry, and she seemed to care about the rest of us as well. The trip we went on was the best thing I had ever experienced and helped me get closer to the rest of the pack, my imprint, and the other imprints in a way I had never thought of. It was nice to shake the responsibilities off of me for just a while, and live.
(Y/N) was nice to have around, and I thought of asking the Elders, for the sake of Embry and the whole pack, if there could be an exception in the treaty for (Y/N)’s presence inside the reservation. Of course, it would be our responsibility to keep her ‘hidden’ from the people that did not know about vampires or shifters, but I think that could still work with her gift.
(Y/N) did not only manage to win Embry over, or even myself, or even Seth who’s friendly with everyone, but also Leah, Quil, Jared, Kim, Emily, Sam, Jacob, and, most importantly, Rachel. She saw a role model in (Y/N); someone who had fought for survival when she was thrown and abandoned in a world that was unknown to her; someone who managed to make the best out of her situation and succeed; someone who was still loving and understanding, when she could be the complete opposite, a monster, a murderous red-eyed bloodsucker.
I was happy for Embry to have found her, and I was happy for (Y/N) too. But I was mostly happy that my baby, my sweet Rachel, had found a new friend, even if that new friend was a vampire. I was happy for Rachel, and I was happy for Emily and Kim and Leah to have found a new girl to hang around with.
(Y/N) managed to win Leah over, which was pretty hard, but also managed to make us understand how we really made Leah feel. We should have known that we were not treating Leah right - we knew we didn’t treat Leah right, but it was another thing to know about it, and another thing for an outsider to point out. And though (Y/N) wasn't an actual outsider, technically she wasn't part of our everyday life on the rez.
Thankfully, during the trip, Leah had unexpectedly found her imprint, who was fully Greek but born and raised in Los Angeles, and she was calmer by now. Both women could not wait for Evanthe to meet (Y/N) and talk about their Greek staff, or whatever else they had to talk about. I believed that could actually be an interesting meeting, and I couldn’t wait to be there when that happened.
Everything was unexpectedly quiet for a moment, before the only thing we could hear were Embry’s racing thoughts, replaying an intense argument between (Y/N) and himself. Though, it seemed like the argument was one-sided, with the wolf who was usually the calm, restrained one having cornered his imprint and yelling at her, while (Y/N) was looking at him with hurt and disbelief in her face. He was accusing her of being a monster, just because she tried to save his ass from his mother’s disapproval, while still replaying his conversation with his mother in his mind.
We had told him plenty of times that we could talk to his mother and explain everything that was going on with all of us, but he said he didn’t want her to know about shifters and vampires, because that could put her in terrible danger. And now (Y/N) found a somewhat feasible solution that did not expose us but also covered Embry for this whole time. And he got angry at her for that?
I growled at him to match his own growls at my thoughts. How could he yell at his imprint? How could he say all these vile things to her? He knew that she didn’t choose this life. He knew that she forced herself to leave her family so that she couldn’t hurt them. He should have known better than turning against her. That could only hurt him even more than he thought it would in the long run. He should go back to her and apologize as soon as he can. We wouldn’t be able to handle a whining wolf in the pack while we still had to be strong and alert for vampires around. Embry growled back at me, refusing to relent at all from his offensive state.
Just when I thought about the bloodsuckers, I took a whiff of one of them crossing through our territory. The smell of rotten flesh burned my nostrils but I was quick on my paws, running towards the direction of the vampire, followed closely by Collin and Brady. I was growling angrily, preparing myself to tear the intruder apart. It's been a while since the last time we had to deal with vampires, and I couldn't wait to sink my teeth into one of them. Just a few seconds later, I finally caught sight of the bloodsucker, though there was definitely something wrong going around.
The images around me were confusing me. It felt as if I was going in and out of reality for some unknown reason - one moment I looked at the bloodsucker in front of me, just for a split second before I could comprehend anything, and the next I was looking at Embry yelling at my face. This scene felt upsettingly familiar, and it all clicked after a few seconds. I was seeing everything from (Y/N)’s perspective, which probably meant.. The vampire in front of me must have been (Y/N)!
Though it didn’t smell or look like her, I pushed myself to escape her illusion, just on time, before Brady sunk his teeth in her neck. I grabbed the smaller wolf’s leg between my teeth, not too harshly but just enough to stop him. I yelled at him, in my mind, that this was Embry’s imprint and to not dare touch her. That did not go unnoticed by Embry himself, though, instead of running back to us, he continued running away, growling and weeping.
(Y/N) did not stop running, though, as if she didn’t realize what had just happened, and I doubted if she was even aware of where she was, or what was going on around her. I ran after her, just to make sure that she was alright, just as I was hearing everyone else, but Embry, yelling in my head to get to her quicker.
“She is probably having an illusion she cannot get away from! You have to help her before she does something we’ll all regret!” I could hear Leah yelling in my mind, upset to see her friend like that.
Though I didn’t tolerate being bossed around by anyone, I followed Leah’s instructions and continued running behind (Y/N), trying to make sure she didn’t do anything to herself. That went on for a while until I could clearly smell the saltiness around the air, meaning that we were getting closer to the sea. I pushed myself to run faster than her; to somehow stop in front of her and prevent her from going farther.
But the images in my head became more vibrant and alive the closer I got to her, and I had trouble seeing in front of me clearly. I was now barking at her, trying to get her attention any way I could, but it didn’t seem to work as she continued running. We were now getting so close to the ocean that I could feel the sea breeze dancing through my fur as I ran.
(Y/N) was so close to the edge of the cliff in front of me. For a second I thought I could fall on her, stopping her from going farther, or at still, bringing her back to reality. However, I failed to do just that, as she gave a final push and, for a moment, I could only see her figure lifted up in the air, free and airy before she finally disappeared into the sea.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Y/N)’s POV
Unfortunately, within my hazy mind, I didn’t realize I needed to cross through Quileutes’ territory to reach the ocean, my escape exit. At this point, I didn't even care of 'hiding' myself, but I also couldn’t put together what my mind was doing to others around me - it was as if it worked on its own once again. I didn’t care this time; I would let myself consume me, just like I deserved for hurting Embry. Unwillingly, my mind replayed Embry and I’s argument, breaking the last pieces of sanity and stability I had still left inside me.
Running through the Quileutes’ lands, I just hoped I was either torn apart by one of the wolves, or, at least, managed to escape away from the place where I had created some of the best memories of my life. I didn't care if my presence upset anyone because I would much rather disappear anyway, whether it was by one of the wolves, or by myself.
Just as I had predicted, I heard three wolves running behind me, growling. For a few seconds, I felt like I could give up and end it right then and there. I could sense the familiarity oozing from one of the wolves, as I was going in and out of reality. The familiarity; the smell; the growling; the heavy paws stepping on the wet soil. It was Paul. Oh, how I missed Paul.
One of the other wolves attempted to snap my neck but did not manage to. I think it was Paul the one who stopped him. Paul was truly the exact opposite of what people thought of him. Yet, I could not respond to his wolfish pleads for me to stop. I kept running; I didn’t want to hurt him as well. I didn’t want to hurt Leah, or Quil, or Seth, or Jared, or Jacob, or Sam, or Emily, or Kim, or Rachel. Or Collin, or Brady. I didn’t want to hurt anyone like I hurt Embry.
I pushed myself to create a greater distance between us, not to antagonize him, but to get away before he managed to catch me; before I had to explain everything to him. It pained me to speak about my argument with Embry, and I knew I would break down if I spoke a word of it - not in the sense of crying, but feeling the pain and emptiness I felt now.
I let out an involuntary sob as I kept running forward, feeling myself getting closer to the sea, wishing to get away as soon as I possibly could. Paul would not give up, as he continued running after me, probably hoping that he would still manage to catch me at the last moment. However, my mind had plans on its own: as I was pushing myself more, it was working on its own, blurring my last thoughts, and pushing me on unconscious paths.
One of the last things I felt was smelling the saltiness of the sea - my way to freedom and redemption. Paul was growling and crying more now, but I could not just answer his worries right now. Running towards the edge of the cliff, I gave a final push as I jumped off the cliff, feeling myself falling and hitting the water, never to be seen again.