Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The First Tier and Second Tier elementals and Fusions had agreed to meet Beliung a few days after his manifestation in Windara. They would have as soon as BoBoiBoy had returned to his normal self and Beliung had transferred into the watch, but he needed rest.

There was a mix of nervousness and excitedness, coming from the existence of the new and first ever Third Tier and how he was manifested, but Halilintar and Gempa had urged them not to convey any sign of hesitance towards him. They knew that some part of Beliung never intended to act the way he did, though there was the general knowledge that BoBoiBoy had no intention of achieving his Beliung power in the moment either. With the whole ordeal in mind, they also wanted to make sure that Beliung didn't seem any less loved than the rest. He was part of the family now.

The meetup was taking place in the Second Tier elementals' part of the watch realm, where they would normally hold these kinds of get-togethers when someone new came into being. They were always considered the most prepared, especially with Gempa being there.

The sliding door of the laboratory whooshed open quietly.

"You sure you don't wanna come?" Sori's voice echoed in the silence of the lab. "It would be a real shame if Beliung wanted to meet you face to face, even if your face isn't exactly the most inviting."

"Like I had mentioned before, Sori - I had this experiment scheduled a couple of weeks ago. If I reschedule it to be any later, the first batch of testers I prepared will all go to waste and I don't have the resources to make more in time for a back-up if needed," Supra reiterated, choosing to ignore Sori's last statement. "If something as important as this experiment wasn't occurring at such an unfortunate time, I would have gladly agreed to join everyone today."

"Mhm. Both you and I know that your initial reasoning isn't exactly the only reason. Call it lucky, I suppose." Sori stated bluntly.

"Lucky is the last thing I would call it. Sori." Supra frowned, eyebrows furrowing at his youngest sibling. Sori noticed a few signs of Supra's character breaking in those previous couple of lines they had shared. Like how Supra stopped mid-breath when Sori had said 'lucky', and how his voice seemed to fluctuate at his own mention of 'lucky'. He decided that perhaps now wasn't the best time to bring it up - his brothers, family and Beliung were waiting.

"Well, lemme know if you need any help with anything. Or inquire any one of us, really." Sori reminded him.

"Of course," Supra nodded. "Send Beliung my sincerest apologies and tell him that I will be visiting as soon as I can, alright?"

"Sure," Sori decided to say. "Take care."

"You too."

With the beep of a button being pressed, and the sound of the doors sliding shut, Supra returned his attention to the clipboard placed in front of him. The experiment involved how grass reacted to different planets' versions of liquid fertilizers for their wildlife in comparison to a native plant species of their own. He hadn't explicitly told anyone about the experiment and the only person that could have even guessed was the Light and Leaf combination that just passed by. He hoped that the fusion's own suspiciousness was truly enough to keep him distracted from the grass and exotic plant samples kept behind the door to the greenhouse part of the lab not too far from him. Not that he was worried that Sori was going to freak out - much to Duri and Daun's dismay, their related fusion actually somewhat enjoyed experimenting on plants - it was just that he might say something to the other elements which would eventually make its way to the two Nature elementals. Of course, even he had a limit, but something like grass would appear boring to him and something else like varying plant species would be far too interesting to where the Solar part of his mind would take over and do all the research it could. Supra wasn't particularly interested in the entire project he had assigned himself, but it was something to keep him busy when not with his siblings or being summoned by BoBoiBoy.

...The latter which was an extremely rare occurrence. No one needed to think hard about the number of times he was summoned. Not even Gopal - a member of BoBoiBoy's group that Supra had decided was a 'panic first, continue to panic despite what anyone says unless it's interesting and then panic until BoBoiBoy saves you' kind of guy (based on whatever observations he could make through the watch's viewing screen). That guy would be able to tell you that 'BoBoiBoy's super powerful fusion Supra' had only been summoned twice.

He wasn't particularly bothered by it. Sure, he was definitely one to occasionally brag about how he finished off Retak'ka - but he also preferred spending his time in the lab. Other than the library, it was the place that he could... be 'himself', drowning in his own thoughts in near-silence. It was a feeling he was accustomed to and quite fond of, though he definitely didn't mind being surrounded by people every once in a while. Loud noises, no thank you, but just casual conversation. He could get along with anyone just fine - it was just rather awkward whenever he failed to understand the different social cues that others usually embraced to implicitly express their ideas and emotions. Everyone would simply go silent at the sudden remarks he'd make, creating an atmosphere he didn't need ask was thick and uneasy.

In the past few weeks that Sori had been around, the other Light element fusion would try to teach him a thing or two about social cues / body language and how to both interpret them and use them himself. When the 'using them' was clearly not creating a dent in Supra's dense, straightforward mind, Sori then made an effort to try and explain what different social cues possibly meant and how to follow them. The fusion was pretty spot-on with his information. Though Supra near-completely lacked any ability to show empathy or even sympathy at times, he was then able to understand how to act upon certain gestures through the tips and studies that Sori would put him through. At times, he would still speak his mind, but the change was definitely welcomed. Sori made sure to even ease into it to prevent everyone from having a heart attack due to Supra drastically changing in demeanour. This often allowed others to be more open about certain topics they found themselves hesitant to delve into, which definitely helped Supra in some studies of his own, so he was sure to thank Sori. He hadn't yet, but he would.

He picked the clipboard up, took 2 black, a blue and a red pen from the organised pen holder and placed them on top of a three-tiered trolley. The first thing he had to do was check the 50mL vials of fertilizer he had kept in the "cooler room" of the lab, which required proper lab attire to be worn before walking in. Just beside each door (other than the main one) was a cleaning chamber - containing a cleaning station and sink, equipment, fire extinguisher, fire blanket, emergency exit map and emergency button, accessible on both sides. Supra walked into the one next to the cooler room, going to wash his hands before looking at the mirror placed above it.

He lifted his hands and looked down at them, taking a step back. Upon pointing two fingers out in a finger gun position and whispering 'Supra Blast' under his breath, a ball of light was created. He cradled his hand instantly before damaging the mirror and possibly the wall behind it, which caused his chest and other hand to briefly endure the painful heat of the Light and Lightning combination - which eventually subsided. He hissed, breathing unsteadily through grit teeth, inspecting his hand and chest. They both seemed to smoke a little, but the clothing hardly looked anything from its original self - if not a little crinkled. It made sense - his clothing specifically made for him who wielded these powers - but the affected areas still tingled and ached. He didn't think that he'd actually be charging up. Sure, he did pose for it and say the words, but it was never his intention to actually create something. If even so much as whispering when in a stance could start up his powers... he decided that perhaps hardly sleeping was much more worth it than he had initially thought. Talking in his sleep was always possible, though he couldn't recall a time of him ever doing so. It struck him as odd that this was the first time it had happened. But that thought didn't linger.

He was unequipped in both knowledge and experience to be using these powers. He, admittedly, didn't even train with them inside the watch. He'd focus mainly on combat with his scythes and then acting out what he would do, which was why the unintended use of his powers was such a strange occurrence to him. Perhaps it was stress. It must be. He can't surely be losing a grip on himself... right?

He decided that maybe it was just his last summoning in Windara that was getting to him. It didn't go out the way he planned - and he was sure that it didn't go out the way BoBoiBoy had planned, either. He knew what to do. BoBoiBoy knew what to do. But he wasn't able to do it right. He missed the enemies quite a bit; he used too much power too early... he destroyed both spaceships and, in the moment, cost Princess Kuputeri, Maripos and all of BoBoiBoy's friends' lives. Including BoBoiBoy's own. He drained too much energy from him and rendered him unable to help anyone anymore. He heavily disliked the idea of not only feeling like a burden but also preventing others from doing what is right. Perhaps it was just a judgement all the elements had created after Retak'ka had attacked 100 years ago; perhaps it was a judgement that they got from being BoBoiBoy's elements. Either way, it was something to agree on and the powers they wield are intended to help BoBoiBoy act on what he has to do to an easier extent.

He was never around for long whenever BoBoiBoy summoned him - though, the fusions were never around for long whenever they were summoned. Too much energy, as everyone knew. But Supra was excessive. His attacks were always quick bursts of massive amounts of energy, or a longer attack which charged up to uncontrollable levels. While the other fusions could stop and would stop by choice, Supra would only be able to stop once all of BoBoiBoy's energy had been drained. He didn't get to choose with his powers. The excessive power undoubtedly came from being Solar and Halilintar's fusion - both powerful on their own.

Solar. The last element to be summoned. Well, both him and Cahaya. Solar by now has been used in missions, and from what he was told - prior to the watch upgrade after Captain Vargoba's attack on TAPOPS - BoBoiBoy had been training with Cahaya and Solar's powers.

They have been summoned more than a few times - that's for sure - and they've also had their own... impacts on BoBoiBoy. Suppose it runs down the 'bloodline', then. Solar's first summoning years ago against Bora Ra was simply brief and, though definitely important - did not raise any particular concern. Captain Vargoba's fight was where it really happened. Cahaya who soon became Solar had destroyed TAPOPS station to a severe degree, launching BoBoiBoy out of the station (once more) and leaving him unconscious - floating and freezing in the vast, empty, darkness of space. Of course, the entire description of it made it seem like they were monsters, and their actions were unforgiveable... but no one meant it in that way. They tried their hardest and defeated the captain, saving many others in the process. But, it was still risky.

Supra looked up at the mirror again. He could see Solar in himself... well, no shit - they all looked like BoBoiBoy. Maybe it was being some part of him, or perhaps it was the forward-facing cap on his head, semi-inspired design or the similar visor that sat on the bridge of his nose.

Maybe it was the fact that he had put BoBoiBoy in the same situation he had.

He was the last element / fusion that BoBoiBoy had used when fighting Retak'ka. When he was defeated - BoBoiBoy landed softly on the ledge of the dam. Undoubtedly, not in the clear. With a few wobbly steps and a few words... he lost consciousness, slipped over the edge and fell.

Supra didn't know what happened from then on until BoBoiBoy woke up in a little tent on a familiar bed.

Both Vargoba and Retak'ka's fight ended with BoBoiBoy unconscious. Both situations found him in a hospital bed. It was an awful feeling. Knowing to have caused that.

Cahaya was somewhat able to redeem himself, even if only in training. Solar was, too. His involvement in the Planet Kadruax mission and fight against the metamorphosised 'Emperor' Reramos were enough to hold a better reputation under his name. He played one of many parts in the fight, and although his move may have had some impact on BoBoiBoy being drained of his power - Reramos lashing out and attacking the other six septuplets (a split which hardly ever happened with the intent to use all their powers) definitely overruled the former.

Supra sighed. It was one thing to decline the offer to join today's gathering; another to not even engage in his said activities for that time. He looked to the cupboard on the right which stored the lab coats, glove boxes and clean glasses, going to slip off his hat and visor when he looked to the mirror and-

...

...BoBoiBoy?

The human stared back with an unreadable expression, for the most part looking as he always did - orange vest, black shirt, red wrist warmers. He lacked the iconic dino-cap, but that was hardly anything outstanding. Brown-black hair, small conglomeration of white hairs which formed what seemed like a singular strand of white.

He still seemed off.

Supra stepped forward. BoBoiBoy quite literally mirrored his actions.

Supra figured that his own visor and cap were preventing him from getting a proper look at the elemental wielder so, carefully and without averting his gaze, he slipped them off and placed them on an empty shelf in the cupboard.

He leaned over the sink, bringing his face up to the mirror. There was no glint in BoBoiBoy's eyes. No emotion.

He, very hastily, looked up.

As expected, he saw the bright, white light above him illuminating the mirror and the wall it was on.

He looked back.

A sharp gasp.

Water. Green-blue, murky water. Bubbles slowly flowing up to the surface. Weak light providing him with little visibility. He looked towards the top of the mirror but found that there was no top. Just... blocks of translucent whitish blue? Ice. Directly above was a hole, lined with sharp edges. It was brighter there. Small chunks of ice wafted idly. Somewhat recent. The cause... brute force. Like something had smashed through. He shivered. Whatever fell must have been heavy. Heavy enough to break what seemed like a thick layer of compacted ice. Heavy enough to sink.

He felt like there was some significance to this place. But his brain couldn't piece it together. It seemed familiar.

He looked down. At least, went to. Something directly in front of him caught his attention.

BoBoiBoy. Right. He was here too.

Something was wrong. Little bubbles of air surrounded him. A concerningly low amount flowed from his mouth and nose. His eyes were half-lidded. Empty. Unblinking. He floated limply in the vast space. Neither going down or going up. Just... there.

He then realised the situation they were in.

Supra ran to him. Somehow. Now was not the time to consider incorrect physics. BoBoiBoy wasn't responding.

He reached a hand to his cheek. Deathly cold. A hand to his hand. Unreactive. A hand to his chest. Still.

A sudden warmth spread through BoBoiBoy's body. Relief. Why now? Light forming. Some kind of spirit? Other technology he had on him?

No. Supra.

He went to take his hand off. It didn't move. Tried again. It didn't move. Try again. It isn't moving. Trying again. He can't move it.

More bubbles forming. Heat. Overwhelming heat. Searing heat.

Movement in BoBoiBoy's face. Eyes shooting open. Brows furrowed in concern. A sharp gasp inward. Mouth moving though inaudible. Pupils trembling uncontrollably. Looking at him. Looking at Supra.

Saying his name. Telling him to stop. Begging him to stop.

Supra wished he could. But he can't. He can't do it. He can't stop. He can't control himself. He can't control his actions. He can't control his movements.

The light increasingly became brighter. Subsequently, it became harder to see. Bubbles and light swarm them. Supra shuts his eyes tightly.

Too much.

...

He slowly opened them when the bubbles rushing past had ceased. It felt warm. Dry, even.

They're in a desert now. They, as BoBoiBoy is beside him, leaning against a rock. He comes to, coughing, spluttering and allowing his limbs to flail around as he does so. Supra settles him down, placing both hands on both shoulders. The hacking subsides, but the pain in his expression is still there and his breathing is fast and irregular. Supra lightly presses circles into BoBoiBoy's shoulders in a massaging matter, hoping to soothe the latter. As he takes in his surroundings, he realises that there is a crashed spaceship in the distance. Unlike the icy chamber of water, memories flood into his mind and horror clouds his thoughts. The last thing he needs is for BoBoiBoy to notice it, so all he does is purse his lips tightly.

"Su...pra."

Supra turns to BoBoiBoy, who is looking at him again. Eyes tired but mind there. Supra nods, displaying his attentiveness and ushering for BoBoiBoy to go on.

"That... that attack was supposed to work."

Supra suddenly disconnects their gaze. BoBoiBoy scoffs.

"Princess Kuputeri is captured, maybe even Yaya, Ying, Gopal and Maripos."

Supra nods. There's no shying away from fact. Or, at least - a fact and a possibility.

"Why didn't it work? Why didn't your power work?"

'Because I couldn't control it', Supra wanted to say. 'I couldn't stop'.

"Your fusion was the wrong fusion to use."

Supra felt a strike to his heart, but he didn't retaliate. BoBoiBoy was right.

"It was a stupid decision."

But he knew that he could prove BoBoiBoy wrong. Prove everyone wrong. Prove that he was capable of saving others. Not hurting them. Not hurting him.

"But I can be the right fusion - the right power!" Supra finally spoke up in protest. "Just- Just have some faith in me, BoBoiBoy."

He was met with an empty chuckle and a shake of the head.

"I'm so weak with this power."

Supra frowned.

"I can't even control my own actions or how much energy I use."

Supra's mouth started trembling.

"I can't be the person they want me to be with you."

"You can! You can use my powers for good. Setbacks like this don't solidify anything. There's always a next time-"

"There won't be a next time involving you."

The world around them crumbled away in an instant before Supra could say anything. Soon, there was no red dirt or hot sun or spaceship.

...They were back in the cleaning chamber. Well, Supra was back in the cleaning chamber, biting his lip and holding back tears. BoBoiBoy was back to being the 'reflection' in the mirror. BoBoiBoy wasn't in the cleaning chamber - he stood lonely in a dark void of nothingness and if Supra stared long enough he was sure that it would start swallowing BoBoiBoy whole.

"When I use your powers," BoBoiBoy continued their last conversation, staring at Supra lifelessly. "I can't do anything to help. I become incapacitated. I become unavailable to help others. I become unable to do anything other than lie there and breathe whilst they suffer-"

"I know," Supra spoke bitterly. "But if Solar was capable of moving past his previous actions, then so am I. With more instances come more possibilities of succeeding-"

"No, Supra. I... can't allow this to happen again."

"So when will you?" Supra broke down, allowing angry tears to stream down his face as banged his hand roughly against the mirror. It cracked upon first impact and as he continued to hit it, there were shards of glass entering his skin and small pools of blood forming in his hand. "When will you use my powers again? When will you take another attempt at summoning me and allow me to work in battle alongside Fang, Gopal, Yaya, Ying - maybe even Qually, Maripos, Captain Kaizo, Sai or Shielda again?"

"When will I finally get the chance to redeem myself?"

"Solar... Cahaya... we've all been in the same shoes... But they've been able to make it up to you. The second time, even. They've been able to prove to you that they CAN do what is needed without consequences." Supra sobbed. He slid his arms down the broken mirror and was positioned in a way where he looked up at BoBoiBoy. The reflection in mirror was not his reflection or him. "When will I get to do the same?"

"...When will I get my 'second' chance?"

...There came no response to Supra's question. When he looked to the mirror again, all he saw was himself - cheeks tear-stained, eyes red and puffy, teeth gritted.

A mirror only reflects one side. That he knew.

He seemed to be standing on the non-reflective side, because all he had seen was a boy who didn't want him. He wanted to be the reflection that BoBoiBoy willed for; a reflection of what BoBoiBoy wanted out of him - to be a positively contributing part to what others saw in BoBoiBoy. A strong hero that people could depend on to look out for them as well as himself.

He should have figured that he was asking too much.

Supra's legs gave way as he slipped to the ground. His vision blurry with tears as he looked at his right-hand dripping with blood.

He decided the pain was unmatchable to whatever he put BoBoiBoy through.

Maybe he deserved it.

That was his last thought as he collapsed onto the floor and lost consciousness.

Chapter Text

.

..Antiseptic and cleaning chemicals.

Supra didn't need to open his eyes to know where he was.

Why did hospitals have to make everything so intoxicating for the nose? Sure, the rest of the body may be okay as the point of the chemicals used is to remove the presence of germs, but to have a fully relaxed patient such small things should be taken into consideration.

...Though, thinking back... he supposed that he did put himself into his current position.

His... daydream? Day-nightmare? No. Hallucination. He could remember that as clear as day. Especially how Ori looked throughout.

Supra let out a shaky sigh, ignoring the pain shooting through his body. Did he really cry over that?

He really was unfit to hold his powers if he was crying over them.

He should be proud to wield such devastating abilities - enough to bring an entire army down in one go if BoBoiBoy so chooses. He should be proud like Halilintar and Solar, for Halilintar and Solar. And sometimes he is. Sometimes, he gets his chance to say that 'he is the best' and 'he is the most powerful'.

The best part about those times? He got to believe it fully and enjoy it.

He could try again. One day. Maybe he could just force himself to believe-

"...happened to him?" Words started filtering into his mind. Supra shot his eyes open.

"I found him collapsed in..." It was hard to tell who was speaking now, but he could definitely tell that the first voice belonged to Gempa.

He quicky scanned the room - his hospital bed was in the middle and an IV drip on his right side connected to... his hand. Supra tried not to think about it, but with the tightly wound bandages preventing him from moving even his fingers - he had found the task harder than anticipated.

The breaking of the mirror was done under clouded judgement.

...Nonetheless, his fault... but he knew that he would have to explain what he had done since the evidence was obvious.

He turned his attention from his hand to the slightly ajar door across from him.

"Hello."

Supra inhaled sharply.

"You seem troubled. Why is that?"

"You shouldn't be here." Supra scowled.

"I think that statement is more suited to come from me than you," BoBoiBoy frowned. "I guess it makes sense that you're confused. You're typically not the one who ends up here."

"I... suppose not." Supra avoided making contact with BoBoiBoy's gaze.

"How does it feel?"

"...Awful."

"It can't be just that, can it?"

"..."

"That's not what I wanted to hear."

Supra didn't get much time to respond before a circulation-stopping grip wrapped itself around his hand.

He seethed and shut his eyes tightly, but he tried to keep his thoughts steady and keep himself quiet as both screams and sobs threatened to leave his throat. It felt like a coil made of barbed wire had constricted itself around his hand in an instant. It was pure torture.

"Hm," A cold breath brushed past Supra's ear. "You're holding your cries in. Why is that?"

Supra slowly opened his eyes, only to be mere inches away from BoBoiBoy's own. They stared intensely into his own, void of any guiding light, and yet Supra felt right at home in them. It shouldn't feel right, he knew. And yet it did. He stole a quick glance at his bandaged hand, only to see BoBoiBoy's left wrapped around it. The pain was hardly subsiding. It made time slow down and his suffering more insufferable.

And yet his mind felt at ease - perhaps even content - at the thought.

He was okay with this.

"You're not answering me," BoBoiBoy used his other hand to snap his fingers in front of Supra's face. "Is it just because you don't want Gempa and whoever else is with him to know that you're here wincing over something as stupid as pain?"

Supra knew that BoBoiBoy's words held some truth - he cared far too much about his pride.

But-

"I deserve this."

Those were the words that chose to leave his mouth.

He didn't think over what he said. Those words also held some truth to them.

He really did deserve it.

"Are you some sort of a masochist?" BoBoiBoy spoke bluntly.

"I'm not." Supra replied in a similar tone.

"I suppose it's about time that you find yourself here."

"I should be in worse-"

"And right you are," BoBoiBoy cut him off. "This-" he pointed to their interlocked hands "-is tame in comparison to everything I've been through."

"I know." Supra purposefully tried to remove his hand from BoBoiBoy's grip, and as expected BoBoiBoy had momentarily strengthened his grip. Supra simply accepted the pain that continued to radiate through his hand. When BoBoiBoy realised that Supra had wanted him to do that, he immediately separated their hands. Supra didn't care that a look of disappointment had crossed his face.

"You're sick."

"I'm not sick," Supra contended. "I just need a distraction."

"Using others to hurt yourself when you can't," BoBoiBoy concluded Supra's implication aloud. "That's quite a low blow if I've ever heard one."

"It doesn't matter. You've been too lenient on me.

Pain is a good teacher, so I've heard. Words may have an impact, but to cause lasting pain that scars the body is a reminder.

A reminder that I'm useless. I'm a failure.

I can't be what you want me to be.

I can never be what you want me to be.

And I can't be what I want to be either.

I'm nothing.

Nothing but a burden to both you and your mind.

I've created impossible expectations for you.

To make you seem like the perfect elemental wielder.

And you are.

You're great, BoBoiBoy.

It's just me.

I don't deserve you.

I don't deserve your friends who give look to me in admiration.

I don't deserve Frostfire, Glacier or Sori as brothers.

I don't deserve any of the First Tier or Second Tiers' warm embrace.

I don't deserve to even meet Beliung.

And none of you deserve to have to deal with me.

It would have been better if you hadn't fused Solar and Halilintar.

It would have been better if you hadn't created me."

His throat felt tight. His chest shakily rose and fell. His breathing was ragged. His eyes were watery. His cheeks were wet. His hand felt like nothing.

He was smiling.

"Supra?"

BoBoiBoy vanished, and soon Supra was left alone to fend for himself in the dark confines of his mind.

◆◈◇◈◆

When Supra came to again, he was still in a hospital bed.

Great.

When he looked down to his left wrist, only then did he realise that his watch wasn't there.

Perception of time was hard as he felt that he had been out for far too long, so perhaps he should do something productive.

Pushing himself off the bed, he seemed... fine. Taking in the surroundings, things were different but made to seem similar. The bedsheets were a different colour - creamy white rather than blue. Instead of general first aid equipment being spread around, there were large pieces of equipment. He pushed his body off the right side of the bed where the IV drip was still located, able to stand and then walk out.

Pressing a button with his left, the door slid open and he was back in the lab. Not Solar's. Not Cahaya's. His.

He may have thought ill of the hospital ward before, but this was much worse. It created a metallic taste in the back of his throat.

Beside him was the cooler room door, and with a curiosity bigger than his fears, he paced over to its respective cleaning chamber. It seemed like nothing had happened. No broken mirror glass. No blood.

Okay. That was okay. Something he didn't have to fix himself, though it wouldn't have been such a hassle to begin with if he did have to.

He decided that turning away was the best move when his head started pounding and his mind started trying to reel the memories back in.

He didn't turn away fast enough as he caught a glimpse of himself pounding against the mirror. Wailing. Begging. Desperate. Needy. Selfish.

He noticed the trolley he had placed his stuff on and picked up the clipboard. He needed to get onto the experiment. The first was probably a lost cause as the alien plant samples had probably grown too much to where the experiment was no longer valid under the guidelines he had made, but perhaps he could get onto the next one a little earlier.

"That, hm?"

Supra, eyes widened, turned to BoBoiBoy.

"This is the experiment you were going to work on, isn't it?" He asked curiously. Supra recognised the sparkle in that returned to his eyes but it made him feel more unsettled than relaxed after seeing dull-eyed BoBoiBoy. As to appeal to the other's more BoBoiBoy-like personality, or to appeal to his own wants for some genuine 'normalcy', Supra nodded.

"Cool," He replied casually. "I suppose my only question would be why you chose to do this kind of experiment in particular."

"I started preparing for it when Sori had started giving me 'emotions-through-gestures' lessons," Supra answered fondly. "I suppose the plant-orientation he has was what made my experiment plant-orientated as well."

"I see," BoBoiBoy nodded. "From your demeanour before, you don't wanna go back in there, do you?"

Supra didn't respond.

"Why don't we go and train a bit?" BoBoiBoy asked.

"If you haven't seen my current situation-" Supra held up his right arm, still bandaged up.

"And in case you haven't been paying attention to yourself..." BoBoiBoy sighed, walking up to Supra and taking his arm carefully before jabbing a finger in the direction of... an unconnected injection point. "You disconnected yourself from the IV drip when you left the hospital bed."

"Ah, I should go and fix it-" Supra muttered urgently.

"But it's not like you've needed it since. You're fine now, aren't you? Not dizzy or lightheaded?" BoBoiBoy inquired.

"You could say that, but the effects could be delayed since some must still be in my bloodstream-" Supra shook his head.

"It's been longer than you think," BoBoiBoy placed his hands on Supra's shoulders. "Besides, your injury has probably already healed."

"As if you know how long it's been." Supra doubted him.

"Unless it was an injury you received from the real world as me - which it isn't - you guys heal much faster here in the watch realm."

He was correct in that statement.

"Remove your bandages."

"...Excuse me?" Supra choked out.

"Check your hand. If I end up being right and it has healed completely, then you can keep them off, remove the IV needle and then consider my offer to train. If that's not the case, I'll help you put some new bandages on, get you to bed and possibly get you on that IV drip if things start to get worse. How about that?" BoBoiBoy presented.

"...Very well then." Supra agreed. What outcome did he want out of this? He didn't know.

He looked to his hand until he found the loose end of the bandage. Carefully, he began to unravel it, allowing it to fall lightly to the floor. When he had it removed, he continued to remove the second dressing until he saw his skin. Holding it out in front of him and inspecting it closely... BoBoiBoy was right. There was no trace of his hand ever being hurt. No wound. No blood. No stitching. No scars. He was able to move his fingers and rotate his wrist with ease, and upon firmer contact there was no pain.

"So...?"

He didn't feel too bad.

"What do you say?"

A distraction would be nice, too.

"Let's go."

When they reached the training room, Supra was admittedly feeling also somewhat excited. Definitely not as much as BoBoiBoy, who was moving from one area to the next in awe. The training area as a whole wasn't at all that interesting - it reflected the one in the old TAPOPS station, from what he had been told. But there was more equipment here - each to meet the fusion siblings' needs and abilities, as well as help them develop new skills or improve in certain areas.

"What should we start with?" BoBoiBoy asked. "I'm not that great by myself, and since I'm here in the Watch Realm I don't get to use any of my elements... but I'm always up for a challenge!"

BoBoiBoy's enthusiasm honestly reminded Supra of Sori and a few of the other elements like Api or Duri. He felt like an older brother watching one of his younger brothers. He felt a smile threaten to form on his face.

"The powers I have provide me with very few melee weapons, the main ones being the scythes, but others including blades / swords and spears like the ones that Hali uses. My powers mostly reflect Solar's abilities, though, and he doesn't have many melee weapons to offer, if any."

"I don't remember using blades or spears in particular when training with you," BoBoiBoy tried to recall but to no avail. "Did you figure out how to do that yourself?"

"You could say that," Supra chose his words carefully. "I only use my powers to create melee weapons whenever I train. I got curious one day and... turns out I was always able to make weapons like those. I don't get to try them outside the watch much."

"Yeah..."

BoBoiBoy's lack of words after that only left Supra with a suppressed smile on his face.

"Do you think you could teach me?" BoBoiBoy asked, changing the tense mood. "Even if I won't remember it outside the watch, I'd still like to learn."

Supra hesitated. His other brothers were always up for training with him since they knew he wouldn't use his powers and, to some extent, that would give them the advantage. BoBoiBoy just wanted to learn something.

Why waste his chances?

"...Ehe... Supra?... Wh-What do you think y-you're doing?" BoBoiBoy asked nervously through tired breaths, leaning up against a wall in order to support himself. "I know I said that I could endure some of your training, b-but... I-I don't think anyone can endure your... your..."

He didn't need to say it. Not exactly because Supra already knew, but because Supra was panicking a lot on the inside.

He was charging up his powers. BoBoiBoy had asked him to just try and see where using them would take him, and who could say no to him?

He wished he had.

Because now he was charging up and pointing at BoBoiBoy.

"...I-It's getting larger... and brighter..." BoBoiBoy wasn't so curious anymore.

"You need to move, Ori." Supra called out to him.

"I-I can't-" BoBoiBoy said, causing Supra's heart to sink. "I- I might have... sprained my... my ankle-"

Supra couldn't keep listening to him.

He needed to stop.

There was such an innocent person in front of him.

And he knew that he would kill him if he so much as got distracted.

Eyes closed.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

...Not slowing down.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

...Focus, Supra.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

In.
Out.
In.
Out
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
In.
Out-

"SUPRA!"

Eyes open.

Focus lost.

The light forming at his hand grew at a horrifyingly fast pace.

He needed to move himself.

He grabbed his right forearm with his left hand.

He tried to turn. It doesn't work.

He tried to angle his hand away. It doesn't work.

He closed his eyes again.

Fingernails dig into his forearm. When he reaches the elbow, he tries again. And again.

Wet, red liquid stained his hands and forearm. Pieces of torn flesh and the firm texture of bone.

"SUPRA PLEASE-"

Supra's eyes flashed open, and he got to witness BoBoiBoy disintegrate into tiny pieces of dust before the light took them both.

◆◈◇◈◆

This time, his hospital bed was in the library that was located in the Second Tiers' area.

Supra dismissed the IV drip, ripping it out at the connection.

Everything was a lie.

And yet some part of it was real.

But what?

"Don't dwell over your injuries." A voice echoed from another part of the library. It sounded like him, so he could only guess who it was.

As expected, BoBoiBoy stood at the foot of a bookshelf. Supra looked to the section name.

...Memories?

"I've learnt that being sad about them isn't going to change what caused them or get rid of the pain," BoBoiBoy continued, keeping his gaze towards the books as he seemed to be searching for something in particular. "Learning from past experiences is always the most effective way of learning, but to do that we need to take a moment to think about that experience. Not extensively study it, but take out key parts of it.

But we can't do that if we can't remember or if our brain forces us to forget."

BoBoiBoy pulled an orange book out of the shelf and carefully skimmed over it. He seemed to have found the right one as he stopped at a page and walked over to a dark, wooden table located in the centre of surrounding bookshelves. He placed the book down, sat in a chair, and gestured to the seat next to him. Supra went along, taking his place beside BoBoiBoy and looking at the page. It was almost like a comic. On the page in front of him was Retak'ka. BoBoiBoy flicked to the next page, and there were a few strips which described the elements being taken away. Not from the original masters, but from BoBoiBoy. BoBoiBoy pushed the book towards him, giving Supra free range to look at the book to his own pace. The next few pages showed different perspectives of the group, such as BoBoiBoy and Gopal training with Hang Kasa and Fang, Yaya and Ying's efforts to save those on Planet Rimbara and so forth. Then came the fight. There ended up being three whole pages dedicated to the three fusions. Frostfire, Glacier... and himself. There was a drawing of Earth which depicted Retak'ka now deceased floating out into space. The there was BoBoiBoy destransforming and landing on the bridge. He slipped. Falling through air.

Supra recalled those moments. But what else was there?

"The next page." BoBoiBoy guided him.

Supra flicked over.

The ice.

The water.

BoBoiBoy sinking right in the centre.

Supra's heart raced.

"That's what happened to me."

Now the vision from his first hallucination made sense-

"That's what you did to me."

Supra's mind clouded.

The library disappeared. They were in a black void, Supra on his knees and BoBoiBoy standing beside him.

"Do you understand?"

Supra nodded, sure that his face was ghostly pale. BoBoiBoy seemed unphased by the fusion's realisation and internal crisis.

"Is the pain you didn't experience then coming back now?

Use it well. Teach yourself to learn from those mistakes.

Pain is a good teacher, is it not?

Well, it doesn't seem to be teaching you anything.

Anything useful, I suppose.

Embrace the memory and use it to its fullest potential.

If you choose to block it out again, you will never receive your second chance.

Ever, Supra."

◆◈◇◈◆

Supra groaned.

Opening his eyes, he was back inside a hospital room. Just great. He would have picked the library over any of the 'options' he had flicked through.

It was a slightly different hospital room, given, but it was still awful.

Apart from the strange smell of chamomile.

That was a welcome change, given. It helped him focus on something that wasn't him.

Judging by the logs written along the side of a nearby medical box, it was the Second Tiers'.

Why was he here? What gave the need for a room change? What gave the need for all the room changes? Wouldn't that just be terribly inconvenient?

The light filtering in from the presumably fake sun outside the windows washed the room and the equipment in a warm, golden glow. Like honey. Coupled with the chamomile scent, it felt like a fever dream. He didn't mind if it was. He didn't mind staying for a bit longer. This was a nice contrast.

He felt a little more groggy this time, possibly from the change in atmosphere which almost made him want to stay in bed longer. He needed answers, though. What had been real and what had been just him drifting in the rift between dreams and nightmares? What part of him was experiencing both? - in the form of hallucinations. Sitting around and waiting for someone to show up for him was too unproductive. Taking his chances, he slowly used his other hand to push the blanket off of his body and pull himself out of the bed with a support railing so conveniently set up to his left. He felt something slide past his arm and was greeted with the sight of his 'friend-through-all' IV drip. At the end, his right arm as well. Dressed in a new set of bandages from elbow to finger. Again.

What time was it?

He looked to his wrist and didn't find his watch there. Weird sense of deja vu, he noticed this entire situation was. He found it on the bedside table beside him, a small bit of disappointment setting in when he realised that it would be incredibly difficult to put in on. Resorting to just looking at it, he checked the time.

09:48, Thursday.

He started his experiment on Monday. He had been out for three whole days.

Deciding that he really needed to get up, Supra swung his legs off the bed and tried to stand. Gripping the bed sheets for support, he was a little wobbly at first before easily getting the hand of it. Deciding to take the IV drip with him [this time], flicking the wheel locks upwards and loosely tugging it along by wrapping his other arm around it, he made his way out of the ward. He turned the lights off and, sure enough, it became completely dark inside. Shuddering inwardly, he took a left and walked away.

His feet were bare and he was simply dressed in a hospital gown, but he just needed to know... everything.

He remembered his four encounters with BoBoiBoy as if they had happened seconds ago. He could recall them word from word, moment from moment - if he really wanted to.

There was no reason to drag his family into such a dark place.

Supra soon found himself in the kitchen, the scent of baked cookies wafting in the air. Not too far away - tons of laughter and light hearted conversation could be heard.

Was it really appropriate of him to barge in?

Perhaps not-

"SUPRA!"

Supra couldn't help but flinch, memories sinking back in.

Not now.

"Hey, hey," Sori scolded the group, Tanah, Gempa, Petir and Halilintar doing the same. "He just woke up. Give him a moment."

Everyone was there. The First Tiers, Second Tiers, Fusions. Beliung.

"Hi Supra!"

Speaking of which...

"I'm glad to finally meet you!" A blue figure rushed up to him and took his free hand, shaking it firmly but carefully.

"I'm glad to meet you too, Beliung," Supra smiled back. "I'm sorry for not coming sooner."

"Ah, that's okay," Beliung laughed light-heartedly. "What matters is that you're here."

"You've gotta tell us what happened though, Sup!" Api butted into the conversation. "Mama Gem and Sori in particular were really worried sick when Sori had come in and said he had found you injured-"

So, it was Sori who-

"-and then everyone freaked out when they heard that you were being hospitalised!" Daun cried out, coming up to Supra and taking his hand from Beliung's. "Are you okay???"

"C-Calm down, Daun. I promise you - I'm fine." Supra chuckled nervously as he tried to brush it off, but he couldn't do much as both of his hands were preoccupied. He was lucky enough to have Duri pry him off with an apologetic smile. Supra nodded in understanding. They had every right to be upset.

"Well... what happened?" Taufan prompted. All the attention was turned to him, and Supra couldn't help but feel a cold sweat run down his neck.

If he just... said everything...

"I'm so... so fucking stupid."

...

"I really convinced myself that, oh, 'he was just drained of energy from using me!' NO! Not only did I destroy the ship that he, his friends and Princess Kuputeri were travelling on, got them captured, and caused BoBoiBoy and Fang to have to crash onto Planet Windara... I also caused BoBoiBoy to land in a place where his friends, in fact, could not catch him in time like I had forced myself to believe all this time and instead made him fall through a think, solid floor of ice into dark, murky, freezing waters. I almost killed him. I might have 'finished Retak'ka off', sure - but all I did was put the rest in danger the second time!"

...

"You're all too kind. You're all too trustworthy. You're all too forgiving. Maybe that's just us being BoBoiBoy - being part of the hero who would accept the help of anyone no matter their background if it was for the sake of what was right and what had to be done. We're supposed to be helping him, and yet all I seem to do is let him - let everyone - down."

...

"You don't deserve to have to be related to an failure of an element like me. You don't deserve to be related to me, you don't deserve to be connected to me... you don't deserve to be known as siblings with... this."

Supra loosely gestured to himself.

"I don't deserve to be holding these powers. BoBoiBoy shouldn't have been the one to go through all of that. All of that pain. All of that suffering. It should have been me."

His eyes welled up.

"I just want to prove that... that I'm worth something."

His voice began to crack.

"Haha... I can't even gather the courage to use my powers in a place where we are essentially immortal."

His lips trembled as he formed them into a smile and forced a laugh out.

"I-I've ruined too many things."

He hiccupped.

"I need to redeem myself."

He let out a tired, choppy sigh as he let his tears stream freely down his face.

"S-So..."

He choked out a sob.

"How can I get my second chance..."

He turned his head away, fully crying but completely audible.

"...And... And love myself?"

He was met with silence, nothing to ease his sobs as he blacked out.

Chapter Text

Warmth.

That was what Supra felt. On his arms. His legs. His chest.

It was incredibly reassuring.

When he slowly opened his eyes, he saw the room dipped in a natural glow.

He would have felt uncomfortable at its eery similarities to his last hallucination, but - much to his surprise and relief - he wasn't in a hospital room and he wasn't in a hospital bed.

He didn't know how much longer he could last in one of those. Nor did he have much confidence in himself as to what he would do if he did find himself back there.

In reality, he didn't actually know where he was. His best guess was not the ward, as the bodies piled on top of him obscured his ability to see any other part of the room. There was light chatter in the background, but all he could really place his focus on was whoever decided to join him. Air laid his head on his chest, Daun had his arms wrapped around Supra's left securely and Sori cradled Supra's right hand to his own chest. Rather than feeling suffocated as one may experience when surrounded like this, Supra simply seemed to relax into the others' embrace. He looked to his right hand once more and sighed in disappointment at the bandages on his forearm.

So that had really happened.

Supra was unable to pick out what parts were real, what parts were fake, what parts were illusions and what parts combined all together to form a hallucination which altered his perception of reality. Thinking over the previous events, there were actions that Supra had taken part in that were completely based off a lack of common sense. He risked the healing of his hand by making 'BoBoiBoy' grip onto it harder. He dug his fingers into his arm and caused even more injury. He removed the dressing of an injury which could still be unhealed and cause himself infection. He decided to train even after suffering a serious injury to the hand. He ripped out an IV drip.

IV drip... Supra looked to his arm, but didn't see one there. In a more light-hearted tone, it had followed him through the course of his encounters with 'BoBoiBoy'. He was admittedly a little glad to have left it behind with those moments as well.

Ah, it wasn't really by choice. But who cares?

"You're awake."

Supra widened his eyes and looked to the figure towering over him. Solar. He responded with a simple hum in return.

"Do you want to get up?" Solar asked. "You have to let me know if you don't want to, because if I force you out now then Gempa and Tanah will be at my throat."

Supra chuckled lightly, and he noticed the small smile that formed on Solar's face.

"I will have to get you up at some point, unfortunately if you are enjoying yourself. I need to see how you're doing."

Supra wanted to, but looking at the three sleeping figures around him...

"If it's about them, I can get Duri to pry them off of you. I'm sure that you wouldn't mean that in a rude way, and I don't either, but from what we've seen - they've all been a bit clingy with you recently."

Supra raised an amused eyebrow, and Solar shrugged.

"Soooooooolaaaaaaaaar~" A cheery voice called out, belonging to the one and only Duri. Supra heard Solar exhale sharply as the thud of Duri's arms wrapping around him could be made out. "Are you talking to yourself again?"

"Tch, no," Solar scoffed. "I'm keeping Supra here amused."

Duri's eyes rightfully widened, but before he could say anything - Solar not-so-casually wrapped his arm around Duri's shoulders and placed a hand over his mouth.

"Let's not disturb the rest, shall we?" Solar chuckled nervously, only letting go of Duri when he calmed down a bit. The latter pouted at him. "We need your help, actually. Do you think you could get these three off of Supra without waking them up?"

A wide smile spread across the Nature element's face as he nodded eagerly.

"Don't worry," Solar whispered in response to Supra's paling face. "He isn't going to use anything involving thorns."

At the mention of that, Duri scoffed. But, as Solar said, Duri summoned some vines, wrapped them around Daun, Air and Sori and carefully tried to lift them up and off the injured person. Supra realised that the background talking had gone quiet as Duri tried to get Supra's left arm out of Daun's grip, which eventually worked after some trial and error. Since Sori only had a light grip around Supra's other arm, separating the two was an easier task. Air was the easiest since he was cuddling his whale plushie rather than Supra to begin with. They all suspended themselves in the air above him for a moment, Supra wondering what was taking so long before Api and Blaze came over with a phone and took a few pictures of 'the sleeping beauties in the skies' - their words not his. There was light laughter to this, and once the two Fire elementals were done Duri promptly placed them on an empty couch.

Supra had been lying on a mattress on the floor the entire time (that he had kind of guessed) but now that the three were gone he realised that the blanket was his own from his room. It was a touching thought, though he wondered if they had decided to allow themselves to look through all his things as well. He didn't really have anything of personal value, and he couldn't remember anything off the top of his head, so if they did happen to find 'something' then it should be okay.

When he sat up he was greeted with the stares of Api and Blaze.

"Hmph, you're actually up," Api hummed, squatting down to meet Supra's level. "Honestly thought you were a goner-"

"API!" Tanah scolded, placing a hand over his mouth before turning to the other couch with wide eyes. When he saw that they didn't stir, he sighed in relief before quietly apologising.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Api muttered, waving a hand in dismissal before smiling with his usual toothy grin. "Glad to see ya up again though. promise."

"Everyone is," Blaze agreed. "They've been freaking out about you over the past week."

"...What?" Supra's heart dropped at the mention of 'week'.

"Yeeaaahhh... you've been out for about a week now..." Angin came up to him, chuckling nervously.

"You started your experiment, what - Monday?" Taufan asked for confirmation. Supra nodded. "Alright... well, it's late in the afternoon on a Sunday now, so about a week."

"Hey, calm down," Solar kneeled onto the bed and placed his hands on Supra's shoulders when he noticed Supra flinch and stare at himself. "You've needed rest after everything that's happened recently. It's okay."

When Supra felt Solar rub small circles into his shoulders, he relaxed. Inhale. Exhale. Better.

"Are you alright to stand?" Cahaya came into view, peering over the Fire and Wind elements. "If you're up for it, we can do the check up on you now so we can determine how to approach things like eating, drinking water, treatment, recovery and so forth."

"Y-Yeah, I can do that." Supra nodded. He felt a little uneasy at both Solar and Cahaya's presence, remembering how being upset at them had led to his first injury. They didn't deserve that distaste, really - they were both excellent fighters. He pushed the blanket to the side, swung his legs off to the right side of the bed and tried to get up without using his right hand, which he did with a few wobbles here and there. Taufan and Blaze were at his side when he stood up, ready to catch him if he fell.

"You alright?" Api asked with a raised eyebrow.

"My limbs are aching a lot..." Supra groaned.

"Like, a lot a lot?" Angin's eyes filled with concern.

"Not that much. I'm not in pain, if that's what you're asking. Just stiff in the joints."

"Well, you have been bedridden for nearly an entire week," Api shrugged. "Air would've loved to be in your shoes."

"I'm sure he would have been," Supra agreed with a small smile. "The muscle strain is just from the lack of movement. With careful stretches and slow eases into more physical movement I should be in good shape in no time."

"Alright," Cahaya hummed. "Just head over to the box chairs on the other side of the room there."

"You still need our help?" Taufan whispered.

"That would be greatly appreciated."

With Taufan and Blaze supporting him, Supra, Cahaya and Solar with Angin and Api trailing behind them walked to the other side of the room. Supra got to look at everyone else. Tanah and Gempa were sitting on the left side of a large couch, Petir and Halilintar standing behind it and in the centre... Beliung. Beliung gave him a wide grin, waving excitedly. Supra waved back. He needed to greet him properly later. On a smaller couch, Ais sat in-between Frostfire and Glacier, fast asleep. The three fusion triplets gave each other brief nods as Supra walked. He was placed on a box chair, and Solar and Cahaya started working on the check-up.

◆◈◇◈◆

Supra and Taufan walked back into the hang-out room from the kitchen, Supra in a white T-shirt and black pants with yellow and red accents - munching on the last of his sandwich with a water bottle tucked under one arm - and Taufan bringing back a freshly baked batch of cookies. He was less-than-elated to hear that he wouldn't be able to use his right hand for the next few weeks, but he knew that if he tried to do anything than all he'd have to do is wait longer. If he was ever summoned again soon, which he highly doubted, then BoBoiBoy wouldn't sustain the full extent of the injury itself - just a lesser version of the pain. Still - he had to really commit to the healing process if it was going to work.

"Finally," Blaze groaned, pulling himself off the floor where he had been playing UNO with Api and Duri before walking over to Taufan and helping himself to one, two, three-

"HEY!" Taufan swiped his hand away but not before he could get a fourth. "Leave some for the rest of us, alright?"

"I'm getting my gaming group some as well!" Blaze lifted his hands in defense, before walking back and handing each of them a cookie. There was an array of thanks aimed at both Blaze and Taufan that came from them upon receiving a cookie.

"Hey, Supra, Taufan!" Supra turned to see Tanah smiling at them from the couch. "Why don't you two come over here?"

Complying with Tanah's request, Supra and Taufan walked over to Trio Ori's self-acclaimed couch. Taufan set the plate of cookies on a coffee table in front of them and threw himself onto the couch in between Angin and... Beliung. Beliung immediately stood up - causing Taufan to scoff at him in offense - and proceeded to take Supra's left hand into his own and shake it firmly.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Supra!" Beliung smiled cheerily. "I'm Beliung, by the way - Third Tier of the Tempest element."

"So I've heard," Supra nodded, ignoring the pains in the back of his head screaming that this part was all-too-similar to his other hallucination. "I'm glad to meet you too, Beliung. I hope everyone here's been really welcoming towards you."

"Ah, I definitely scared the First Tiers a bit when Gempa over here made the funniest joke EVER," Beliung grinned. "My laugh is a little 'out-of-control', so I've heard. I'm not ashamed of it, though - I've barely existed for that long."

Supra couldn't help but smile sadly. Ignorance really was bliss. Innocence, too.

"I sincerely apologise for not being able to make it on Monday," Supra murmured. "I had been preparing this one experiment for a while now, and the samples were very troublesome to get a hold of - so I didn't want to waste my efforts. Granted... I never really got to the experiment at all, and I highly doubt that anyone would let me commence tomorrow's... so perhaps if I hadn't been so focused on my research, I wouldn't have landed myself in this predicament to begin with."

"I mean, I get it," Beliung shrugged. "You have all the time in the world to chit-chat with me, so there's no need to apologise for picking the better option. But I think worrying about how I feel should be the least of your worries. The past week has been pretty eventful, even if you weren't really around to experience it."

"Are you okay, Supra?" Halilintar asked, and Supra held his gaze to the floor.

"I feel much better now." Supra decided to say. Halilintar nodded slowly.

"...Oh, Supra," A voice now from behind him spoke up, revealing a tired Sori and the unnoticeable-at-first presence of Frostfire and Glacier. The group pulled Supra into a hug, careful not to injure his hand. There was no hesitation as he fell into the embrace. "Glad to see that you're up and about now."

"The room change from the ward to here was a nicer sight for my eyes." Supra admitted. When the group separated, Sori was wide-eyed.

"So you knew that we had put you in a hospital room beforehand?" He asked curiously.

"I... Not exactly. I was drifting in and out of consciousness every once in a while."

"What can you remember?" Frostfire asked.

"..."

"Sorry, that was too soon, wasn't it?"

"No, it's just... a lot to remember."

"Too soon then," Glacier hummed. "Don't mention it now if you don't want to. Let's just enjoy the afternoon, shall we?"

"Very well."

The afternoon went on faster than Supra had liked for it to be. Firstly, he was ushered by Beliung to sit down next to him and listen to him ramble on about all the things that he learned about the Watch Realm. It was always interesting to see what a new element focused on when entering the watch for the first time and meeting the other elements, because it showed where their mind was set. Beliung moved his arms and hands frequently, he spoke in quick bursts of energy and his eyes were always wide and his mouth was always formed in a bright grin. It showed that he was aware of the tiniest little things even without fully understanding what they really were, and that he was always eager to get involved with anything - whether it was simple conversation, games, cooking or even cleaning. Sometimes he'd never finish what he was saying and move onto a different topic, expressing his lack of absolute focus and quick movements back and forth from different ideas and tasks.

Then, he was asked to play a few games with both sets of TTM. He got to encounter Daun when he woke up, tackled into a hug before Daun was scolded by Gempa and he got off apologetically. This caused Air to wake up, but as part of his nature he was mostly indifferent - quickly checking on Supra and then promptly going back to sleep. They played a few games of massive UNO before getting bored of Supra sometimes giving any one of them the win. So, when they looked through their board games and found a scrabble board, they figured that it would be something fun to do. Bringing up their custom rule of "spelling actual words incorrectly to where they still sound like the actual word" was a mind-twister for Supra, listening to words like "kwurkey" and "bowntyfull" catching him off-guard like they had intended. They eventually split off and Supra found himself playing chess with Cahaya, with Cahaya coming out on top. They had dinner, eating fried rice and fried chicken with lemonade that Sori had made.

It was a good night.

"Can we talk, Supra?"

Like he had mentioned - it went by too quickly.

◆◈◇◈◆

Supra found himself sitting separate to Sori, Gempa, Solar and Halilintar in the hangout room, everyone else still eating or chatting at the dining table.

He honestly felt agitated at the entire scene. He knew they meant well - but he needed a bit more time to recover.

That, and he felt incredibly vulnerable.

"Look, we know that we won't be getting the answers that we want if we ask in front of everyone else," Sori explained blatantly, Gempa looking alarmed at the straightforwardness that the fusion had taken. "And while we would save this for a later time, the things that have happened over the past few days have raised some... deep concerns regarding your health. So, as your family, we want to get an idea of the root of the issue before anything escalates more than it has already for your safety and ours."

Supra didn't like the fact that Sori had brought up their own safety into play. Not because he felt that he was the one that they should be solely focusing on - but because it suggested that he had done something while unconscious that could hurt them. He was tired of hurting. Others or himself.

"What can you remember?" Gempa asked. "And please be honest with us."

"Tell me what happened from when you had found me to when I ended up in the hospital bed first," Supra replied, feeling the need to prolong the conversation on the other end. "Then we can all be on the same page."

Gempa nodded, and Sori pursed his lips. He knew what he was doing.

"I know that at least Gempa and someone else - I'm guessing you, Sori - had visited me in my earlier times in the hospital bed." Supra started off, deciding that he was going to have to pick out parts of the story himself if they were going to admit to anything. He wasn't a coward - he'd tell them what happened if they asked. He couldn't be the only one contributing.

"Yeah," Sori sighed. "I was the one who had originally found you. I haven't told anyone either than Gempa, Solar and Cahaya what I exactly saw, but what had generally happened is something everyone is aware of."

Solar and Halilintar nodded.

"It had been a few hours since we had left you to meet Beliung. It didn't really bother me considering that, even though you're efficient with your work, all experiments like this can lead to new break throughs which can take long periods of time to study adequately. Usually, you'd let us know if you did make a breakthrough, but, again, anything can happen. Luckily, since I have access to our research logs, I checked to see what information you had put in there. There was a recent file added called 'Varied Fertilisers on Earth Plants vs Alien Plants'. I figured that was what your experiment was about, so I clicked on it, and... nothing. No information, no photos, no recordings. Nothing. Just the general scaffold. That's highly unlike you. Something had gone wrong.

And I was right.

When I walked inside, there was no change in any of the things in the immediate area. I looked in the greenhouse area and I found your plant samples. Maybe they were already given the fertiliser, but there were photos that I presumed you had taken just a few days ago with little to no change in their growth. I kept looking around, and eventually my eyes landed on the trolley outside the cooler room cleaning chamber. I came up to it, read the clipboard which had your experiment on it and saw no added data or times.

I looked inside. Y'know, there are windows on those doors.

I see large cracks on the mirror. A few shards are missing. Of course, it raises concern. So, I open the door."

Sori paused, everyone leaning inward and trying to listen carefully.

"I see the blood at the centre of the cracks. An obvious smear directly going down from there. My eyes follow it.

And then I see you lying there.

Surrounded by shards of mirror glass and blood slowly oozing out of your right hand.

I take a closer look, preparing to call Solar. I would've called Duri for his healing capabilities in the moment as well, but I worried that he would freak out too much - and to involve anyone else was risky. I could take the position of the healer, too, if need be. Your breathing is slow. Your pulse is weak. There are shards of glass embedded deep into your skin. Based on the area of the wound and the angle of the shards, it was obvious that you had driven your hand into that part of the mirror again and again. I checked the main wounded area. The areas of your forearm which had blood smeared onto them had dried and the parts with some blood flow seemed to have been coagulating for a while now. You were in the cleaning chamber with no glasses, no cap and no lab coat, so whatever must have happened had occurred much earlier than I had anticipated. The blood on the mirror had dried as well. I checked your eyes, and your pupils thankfully reacted normally, so I generally ruled out any possibilities of severe brain damage from an impact to head. However, throughout the entire inspection, you weren't responsive to anything I did."

Supra tried not to look at Halilintar directly, whose eyes were wide with horror.

"And, well, that's really it. I let Solar know of everything that had happened, and he had gotten Cahaya to help him prepare equipment in our hospital ward whilst he wrote down all the notes. We removed you from the cleaning chamber, got to removing the shards of glass and stitching your wounds, and then placed you on an IV drip when Solar had concluded that you were in some sort of coma."

Supra nodded. He took a deep breath and sighed heavily.

"When I was preparing the experiment - like you had figured out, Sori - inconvenient timing wasn't my only reason for staying in the lab," Supra admitted. "Or, rather, convenient timing - as it gave me something to distract myself with. Admittedly, I had been a little preoccupied with my thoughts over the past week. The events involving BoBoiBoy and his friends along with Maripos and Princess Kuputeri and the eventual downfall of the ship and capture of the princess had been bothering me."

"How so?" Gempa asked.

"It bothered me that things had gone so terribly wrong," Supra spoke bitterly. "My job was simple - defeat the Kelkatoa, Sibella and Cikala. What did I do? Destroy both spaceships, render BoBoiBoy unable to move sufficiently, get Princess Kuputeri captured and separated BoBoiBoy and Fang from Yaya, Ying, Gopal and Maripos in a ditched effort to keep everyone safe.

And then I thought back to the other times I had been summoned by BoBoiBoy.

You do know how many times BoBoiBoy has used me, right? Including training?"

Gempa hesitantly put up four fingers and Sori shrugged. Solar quietly said "two", and Halilintar raised two fingers.

"Twice. Two times in fights, never in training.

Do you know where BoBoiBoy ended up at the end of Retak'ka's fight?"

There were silent nods all around.

"In a hospital bed. I know you didn't do it on purpose, and don't worry about this much Sori, but I wasn't told what had happened. Fair enough, I never asked and I never said that I didn't know. All I definitely knew was that he fell off the dam and ended up in a hospital bed. This whole time, I thought that one of his friends had caught him from his fall and that all of the energy BoBoiBoy had used up over the entire ordeal had finally caught up to him. It turns out I did know what really happened, but my brain wasn't ready to bring that memory up yet until later. Now I know that my improper landing of BoBoiBoy not only caused him to slip - it had also caused him to fall through a thick platform of ice and somewhat drown in cold waters.

Tch. Causing BoBoiBoy to drain all his energy and put him in grave danger in the two times I've ever existed out of the Watch Realm is pretty unlucky, isn't it?"

Supra noticed Sori sink down at the mention of luckiness. To Sori, his observations of Supra's reactions towards the word in their last one-on-one conversation weren't just random. Of course, Supra was never a 'random' person. Supra was aware of Sori's observations even with the lack of verbal conveyance; he had tried to get Sori in the moment to understand that he was bothered by that concept. To show both his attentiveness towards his teachings and somewhat express a topic that he didn't want Sori to delve into in the moment but rather take note of.

That seemed to work exactly like he had predicted.

"It was then that my mind had wandered to Solar and Cahaya."

Solar raised an eyebrow at the mention of his name, but as Supra was about to continue - Tanah and Glacier poked their heads into the room. Tanah seemed panicked and Glacier looked like he had seen some things.

"We're really sorry for barging in like this, but we need Gempa and Sori to help us," Tanah pouted. "We know that you're in the middle of something important, but Api went livid at Air eating his fried chicken and then he set Duri's two kitchen plants on fire, and he's really upset about it. They're not on fire anymore because I got Ais to put them out - I promise. Beliung, Frostfire, Blaze and Taufan want to blow up balloons in the house and Cahaya and Daun are trying to prevent Petir from killing them and it's all just a really big mess-"

Promptly, Beliung and Taufan ran past the doorway with balloons in their mouths. Soon followed Blaze and Frostfire who were gripping onto packets of balloons. Petir ran at them with a Lightning blade and vines wrapped around him, and Daun and Cahaya were getting dragged along despite their best efforts to hold him back.

"Sorry, Supra," Gempa smiled apologetically before it became more pressed. "This is getting too much."

"Do you need our help, too?" Halilintar asked, Solar nodding.

"No. Supra's trying his best to share everything and to just leave him in the moment would be rude," Gempa shook his head. "It's better if you two stay here. We can handle this."

"How did it even escalate like this without us hearing anything like there's no door-" Sori facepalmed as he and Gempa stood up.

"Ais made an ice wall to prevent sound from coming through to you incase we just naturally got too loud and..." As soon as they walked through, the ice barrier that they were talking about had formed over the doorway again. It was almost impossible to tell that was there unless you paid attention to the small ripples that had formed and distorted the people behind them. That and the lack of noise.

"I do hope things end up being okay..." Solar sighed worriedly.

"We're only gone for a few minutes and all of this happens..." Halilintar muttered.

Chapter Text

"Uhm, Supra. I understand if you choose to leave certain parts out, but I would like to know about what made you think about me and Cahaya." Solar prompted.

"I definitely could, but nothing is going to benefit me if I leave any parts out," Supra responded. "My mind wandered to you two because you two are technically both one my fusion 'parents' as the Light element, even if you are two separate beings. However, you could say that we've been in the same shoes.

That we've both hurt BoBoiBoy more than we wish we had.

And, sure, all of us elements and fusions have done that in the past. But BoBoiBoy finding himself in a hospital bed has only happened as a result of using two of us."

Solar nodded slowly, and with his lips pursed, hands clasped too tightly together, and eyes averted to his shoes - uncomfortable was a mutual feeling.

"What I'm trying to say is... I'm jealous of you two."

Solar perked up with a bewildered expression and Halilintar also looked intrigued.

"Technically you were first summoned when BoBoiBoy had also split into seven the first time. But, aside from that, you and Cahaya could say that you've drained BoBoiBoy of his energy to the point that he had to be monitored in the hospital. I would say that for myself, too. There was always the knowledge, however, that those were the first times that we were ever summoned. BoBoiBoy hadn't used us before, he hadn't trained our powers before. I suppose this applies to all of us, too. Such as Api when BoBoiBoy unintentionally used him in his sleep. Such as you, Halilintar, when Adu Du had tortured you with balloon's and caused you to go against Angin and Tanah," Solar and Halilintar nodded slowly, their faces grim as they remembered those times. "Like Beliung's case - BoBoiBoy didn't undergo the training to prepare himself to reach that kind of power, either. So, all of the destruction and other possible 'pains' we may have caused were under a lack of knowledge.

That's no one's fault. We did what we had to do. And, at some point - we've all been summoned again.

You, I mean Solar, and Cahaya had both undergone training before BoBoiBoy's next watch upgrade. You two did well - there were reports. People and members of TAPOPS liked it whenever BoBoiBoy used your powers. It's hard to say that Cahaya got a 'proper' second chance because of the watch upgrade, but he had been able to prove that he was worthy of his praise. You were able to do so, too. I mean, there was training and then being defeated and absorbed by Retak'ka - but no one saw that coming. None of that was your fault. Then you had the Planet Kadruax mission, and reaching the end goal successfully was undoubtedly going to improve your records. There was the split in Windara, too, but the end result in that wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. That wasn't your fault, either - Reramos just happened to get the advantage on all of you by attacking the others and causing distractions.

I got my second chance, too. On Maripos' ship. It wasn't an incredibly complex job. Defeat the intruders and get to Windara safely and without anymore complications. Straightforward. Simple. One person could do it. I could do it.

And yet I didn't.

I missed quite a lot of targets. That wouldn't defeat them. I had lasered a hole through both ships. That prevented us from getting to Windara. I caused BoBoiBoy to run out of energy. That put him and everyone in danger. Princess Kuputeri got captured, BoBoiBoy and his friends got separated, and I set us back from what could have been an easier beginning to the mission of removing Reramos from his self-appointment as Emperor of Windara.

I did a lot of things wrong."

"But that wasn't your fault," Halilintar shook his head, a tiny frown on his face. "Ori hasn't trained with you."

"And that's what I led myself to believe. I'm inexperienced. I haven't been able to practice any of my attacks or defenses in the real world. And that's fine. That makes sense. But that also poses the question that makes the whole idea conflicting.

Why hasn't he trained with me?"

"It does take quite a lot of energy to even have the fusions exist outside the Watch Realm," Solar noted. "The forming of two elements to create an entirely new being is exhausting for the body, and considering that your attacks are incredibly powerful, it is not at all surprising if Ori just..." His voice trailed off.

"Just tried to reserve his energy in case of emergencies?" Supra asked, a pained, knowing smile on his face. "Just hesitated because he didn't want to damage anything? Just waited until there was better equipment that could support my powers?

In some instances that makes sense. But why not just try? He hasn't summoned me for anything. I wouldn't be... bothered if he didn't even do anything - if he didn't use my powers, if he didn't try to use my additional skills, if he didn't use my weapons, if he didn't say anything. I would even be okay if he didn't move - if he just stood there as me. It wouldn't matter if it were for a long time or a few seconds. BoBoiBoy is so open to new things that don't inhibit his most basic morals. He has trained with all of you. He has used Frostfire and Glacier more than once. Even if Glacier was only used in training alike to Cahaya - Frostfire was used for a cooking contest of all things. Not that the ordeal frustrates me - it was a good opportunity for him, really. To be used for something trivial like that would be... I don't know how I would feel. What I am sure about is that it would feel much better than waiting.

Even Sori got to train in the real world recently.

You've all been able to go out and show your worth. Show off your powers. Improve yourselves. Gain knowledge. Experience the real world without the need to worry about others' safety constantly in the moment. You've been able to say, from the second time that you have existed - 'I helped'. 'I did well'. 'I am one of Ori's elements'.

I do not.

All I'm left with is BoBoiBoy unable to even help himself."

Supra noticed that his foot was tapping constantly. He couldn't find it in him to care anymore. Negative emotions couldn't take over; if bothersome acts like that prevented them from doing so, then so be it.

"Sometimes I wonder if he's scared of me.

I suppose I'm scared of myself, too."

An empty chuckles echoes throughout the now too eerily quiet room, and with only a singular light on in the increasing darkness, Supra could see it dimming.

"It's alright if he is. I have pretty destructive powers. I killed a living, talking, thinking being, whether anyone thinks he truly, truly deserved it or not - I wouldn't know how BoBoiBoy really thinks about that choice. It's okay to be scared of your capabilities. That leaves it up to me to train myself. Even if my training doesn't carry over in the real world immediately, if BoBoiBoy chooses to use it then I would be prepared.

Yet I don't train with my powers either.

Why? Out of laziness? Out of concern? Out of worry?

I only train my abilities, mainly speed, and engage in combat such as weaponry. And it's good to practice in those areas, too. Basic concepts are important to utilise effectively. But if I can't even bring myself to train with my own powers and I'M the one holding the powers to begin with...

That must say a lot about how I think about myself, right?"

...

...Why weren't they saying anything? Supra looked for their faces, and when he made them out, he couldn't help but feel relieved on the inside. He couldn't remember seeing their faces the 'last time' he spoke up about the issues he was faced with.

"It's pathetic.

I suppose I shouldn't be a hypocrite about it - asking someone to do something I don't do myself.

Maybe that's just who I'd be if BoBoiBoy wasn't our user. I'd just be some being of some sort - wandering the vast emptiness of space, thinking 'they should be training more' or 'maybe if they put in the effort, they'd achieve whatever they sought out to do' every time I passed by a lifeform who was putting 10, maybe 100 times more effort into what they do than myself. And that's not your fault - us fusions don't perfectly reflect who you guys as the original elements are. We're our own beings. Frostfire is both less hyperactive than Blaze but more energetic and talkative than Ais. Glacier is less organised than Gempa but when he does get focused on something he does it effectively. Sori is snarky but playful, reflecting both Duri and you, Solar, but he has extensive knowledge in one particular area - botany. Alike to you - but not exactly the same. I may inherit both of your abilities in terms of strong blows and hold a reflected sense of solidarity and independence - but am I even a 'BoBoiBoy elemental' or a 'BoBoiBoy fusion' at this point?

I don't feel very related to BoBoiBoy. There are many qualities of his that I lack. It's even more apparent to outsiders.

Apart from attacks, I don't speak very much. That can affect what they believe my morals are if I don't voice my opinions.
I lack the physical expressions that convey emotion. That can impact what others think I may be feeling about certain outcomes.
I don't interact with anyone. That prevents them from getting to know me and vice versa.

I feel so... 'out-of-touch' with BoBoiBoy that I can't even call him 'Ori' comfortably like you guys do.

I wonder how it would feel to say it and mean it."

Supra understood that this was supposed to be all about him - but couldn't they at least say something?

He didn't want to hear them pity his situation, though. He wanted closure.

But since when did he ever get what he wanted?

"I apologise," Supra muttered. "I've started to stray-"

"It's okay, Supra." Solar smiled genuinely.

Supra almost forgot that Solar was the literal embodiment of light, and somehow that small break in his rambling just made him feel smaller and lonelier.

Was it normal to feel light-headed and drowsy from a smile?

It wasn't okay. He wasn't okay.

"I suppose all of these... thoughts and considerations led to my current condition," Supra glanced at his forearm. "From what I've observed, some of the actions that took place between the initial incident and now has had repercussions on my body."

"What do you mean 'actions'?" Halilintar's brows furrowed. "For the most part, you've been bedridden."

"And your words are why I believe I'm correct," Supra huffed. "You seem to know some things as well."

"Perhaps I do. But I hardly feel encouraged to say anything until I hear your side of the story first."

"...Okay."

Supra breathed in, breathed out. All he could feel was the smoke from the billowing flames of his chest wafting in and out of his nose.

"I experienced five separate 'visions' over the past week - one before the incident and the other four after the initial bandaging.

The first one involved me being transported from the cleaning chamber to a murky, ice-filled underwater area to an open, windy desert to back in the cleaning chamber.
The second one involved me waking up in the Fusion hospital ward.
The third one involved me waking up in the medical ward of my lab and practicing in the training room.
The fourth one involved me waking up in a library and reading a book in a strange category called 'Memories'.
And the fifth one involved me waking up in the Second Tiers' hospital ward."

Solar was definitely concerned but he couldn't help but let a little of his curiosity and intrigue show.

"Interesting that you say that, since we had moved you to almost all of those places apart from the two natural areas and the library. Even more so as you listed them in the same order that they occurred," Solar recalled. "Were you aware that we had moved you from place to place at all during those moments?"

"I considered it a possibility but mixed in with all the events that took place within those areas - it didn't feel real."

"Well... what did happen that makes you question this?" Halilintar pressed on.

"BoBoiBoy was in each one of them."

"Like, 'Ori' BoBoiBoy, us, the fusions...?"

"A combination of both, but mostly 'original' BoBoiBoy.

When I first found myself in the cleaning chamber, BoBoiBoy at some point had become my own reflection in the mirror. I looked away for a moment, and when I looked back - I found myself in an underwater area under blocks of ice, light filtering through a large crack in the sheet and revealing an idly floating BoBoiBoy at the centre of it. I ran over to him, checked his vitals and found that he was cold and unresponsive. A warmth spread through his chest where my hand was, and at first, I considered a few options regarding the supernatural and technology before realising that light was forming underneath my hand. Connecting the facts... I realised that it was me. The effects didn't hinder and rather strengthened upon my realisation. BoBoiBoy suddenly woke up and started begging me to stop, his face contorted and twisted in pain and desperation, but I couldn't move my hand. I couldn't stop the light. I couldn't do anything but watch him as we both got swallowed by the light and the bubbles that formed around us.

The next time I opened my eyes I find both of us in the windy deserts of Windara - the crashed ship in the distance but Fang nowhere to be seen. I didn't know the significance of the water and ice then, but I knew the significance of the desert. BoBoiBoy started talking from where he was leaning against the rock. He asked me why the plan didn't go the way it was supposed to. Why my powers didn't work. He told me I was the wrong fusion to use, and anger and frustration got the best of me, and I tried to prove him wrong. I wanted to prove to him that, no, he isn't completely weak just because he had to use me. No, he could be who he strived to be with me as one of his powers, too. He said all of this with nothing but a straightforward, emotionless face.

I told him that there was always a next time. But, he denied me that possibility.

With that, everything crumbled away and I found myself back in front of the mirror and BoBoiBoy standing in the void-filled reflection. He described how he felt useless, and, once again, I tried to offer the idea of another chance to him by also using you, Solar, as an example of what could be achieved if another opportunity allowed. A sense of purpose to both me and BoBoiBoy. He declined the opportunity once more, and I found myself angrily thumping a closed fist into the mirror through tears at his stubbornness. It was unfair. Unfair that you guys got given that opportunity, whilst I was left as the emergency surgery that only risked the person's health even more with than without. It felt like I was never going to get that second chance like you or Cahaya or any of the other elements did. Be my third summoning or fiftieth. I asked him when I would get my 'second' chance?

And he left me to slip from reality without an answer.

...The next time I woke up was when I had been moved to the Fusion hospital ward. The scent of chemicals sickly, though for good reason. I loosely thought back to the visions and questioned my own actions as well as what the visions really were - Just visions? Hallucinations? A terrible dream? - before being interrupted by the voices of Gempa and someone else, who, as discussed before, turned out to be Sori. ...Thinking back now - it's 'interesting' to note how I found myself worrying over how I was going to explain the broken mirror to Gempa rather than worrying over my own health. I had the bandages, and I had the IV drip. So, that part had at least happened.

BoBoiBoy had joined me, leaning over the bedside. He was some sort of figment in my imagination - I was aware. I told him that I did not want to see him, which only caused him to voice how 'those words' were more suited to him as I wasn't usually the one found in a hospital bed - and I couldn't entirely disagree with that statement, either. He asked how I felt. I replied by saying that I felt awful - while that held some truth, it wasn't the entire truth - and he seemed to catch onto that. I focused more on the strange idea that the empty stare he forced my gaze upon was somewhat comforting to me before being ripped from my thoughts to a searing pain in my wrist as BoBoiBoy grasped onto my injured hand. Despite the reality of my situation, the feeling that came frmo that action just felt so real and genuine. He brought up my attempts at hiding my reactions and got annoyed when I did not give him an answer. He suggested that I was simply trying to not catch the attention of the outsiders.

He was right, but when I went to agree with him I said something else.

I told him that I deserved to be in my position after all I put him through. He looked at me like I was stupid; asked if I was a masochist. I said no, but now I find myself questioning it, too. Coming back to the original topic, he said that it was about time that I find myself in the bed. I noted that I should be in worse, and he agreed. Then I moved my hand within his grasp, and as expected - he gripped tighter, and the pain worsened. When he realised that I had done it on purpose he had called me sick, but I thought the opposite - I was not sick. I needed a distraction. He made the point that using others to hurt yourself is cowardly - and it was - but that was the least of my concerns.

I've decided that he had been too lenient on me, and from what I've heard - regular teachings cannot always be enough and that the infliction of pain can 'encourage' a student to learn hastily. To last scars in that aspect would be a constant reminder that, in my case, as long as I continued to receive them, I am useless. A failure. A burden to BoBoiBoy's body and mind as to what he wants me to be and what I want myself to be. My powers have forced impossibly high expectations of him, but at the same time the result of using my powers has most likely lowered others' faith in him as well. And I don't want to put either of those pressures onto him.

He's a great elemental wielder, undoubtedly. Almost perfect, but no one should place that name on him either.

It's just me. I don't deserve his friends, my brothers, the Second Tiers or First Tiers, Beliung... And you don't deserve to have to deal with me, either.

It would have been better if you two haven't fused to create me. And some part of me in the moment seemed content with that idea. A voice calls out, BoBoiBoy vanishes and all I see is darkness before blacking out...

I awoke and found myself in a hospital bed still. My perception of time was most likely flawed but I knew enough to decide that I had been bedridden for far too long. I sat myself up, and I felt fine. I noticed that the entire ward was different, and when I had gotten off the bed and opened the door - I realised that I had been moved to the hospital room of my own lab. I went to the cooler room cleaning chamber, and there was no evidence of what I had done. No broken shards of mirror glass and no blood. The mirror was even replaced. At that moment, I started to remember. I turned to leave, but I managed to get a glimpse of a third-person perspective of me wailing angrily and hitting the mirror.

I noticed the trolley with the experiment plan on it, deciding that the first experiment was unsalvageable. BoBoiBoy appeared by my side, peering over to look at the folder I held. He seemed more like himself - a sparkle in his eyes and curiosity and interest ridden on his face - which only made me more unsettled after being used to the blunter version of him I had been encountering.

He voiced his interest, asked me about the plant interest and listened to me talk about Sori's influence on me over the past few weeks he has been around. BoBoiBoy understood and he must have been watching me for a bit of time as he noticed my hesitance to go into the cooler room. Sensing the uneasiness, he suggested training. I tried to protest with my injury, but he just mentioned how I had disconnected my IV drip from my arm. I had done that without realising, and I was going to fix it before BoBoiBoy talked about how my condition seemed fine. I rebutted with a delay, but once again he countered my point with time. I was skeptical, but he brought up the faster healing process of the Watch Realm before suddenly telling me to remove my bandages. I refused at first, to which he proposed two alternatives. When the result was in his favour - being that my wounds had completely healed - he ushered me to the training room.

Quite honestly, I enjoyed my time with him. BoBoiBoy was in awe the moment that we entered, seeing as the whole place somewhat resembled the one TAPOPS used to have. He was elated to do something with me, and he reminded me so much of others such as Sori, Api and Duri that I felt a little more at home. I explained my abilities, mentioning the weapons I have available to me and the powers I have. I brought up blades and spears like your own, Halilintar, and when BoBoiBoy couldn't remember using them I told him that I only found out by training within the watch. BoBoiBoy avoided discussion on training outside of the watch.

He asked if I could teach him how to handle the weapons despite knowing that he most likely wouldn't remember a thing. There was no harm in doing so, I decided. Everything went by in a blur, and the next thing I knew... I was charging up whilst aiming directly at BoBoiBoy. He was rightfully distressed as the light forming at my fingertips only grew larger, and it was only until I told him to move that he revealed an injury he gained. I needed to focus, because if I even got distracted, I knew that I would kill the innocent person in front of me.

I close my eyes. I try to calm my breathing, but there's no improvement. I try again. I focus on controlling myself. I continue, but my breaths only get faster, shorter, and more ragged before BoBoiBoy screams out. I lose my focus, the light grows at an uncontrollable pace and I realise that I just need to move. To aim at anything else but him. I grab my forearm and it doesn't move. I try to turn, to point my hand in a different direction and still nothing. I forcefully try to move my arm and rip at skin and flesh in the process and with a single cry all I hear is BoBoiBoy scream my name before we both got disintegrated into nothing.

I was still in a hospital bed but it was located in the Second Tiers' library. Sick and tired and untrusting of anything around me - I ripped out the IV. I heard a voice from another part of the library; expectedly finding BoBoiBoy who stood at a bookshelf titled 'Memories'. He goes on to tell me that sadness does not alter the past nor heal the person. That learning from the past is the most effective way as long as we find the key parts of that experience to think over - but if our brains forget then that cannot be done.

He took a book out of a bookshelf, walked to a desk and gestured for me to take a seat next to him. In that book contained comic-like recounts of the events leading up to Retak'ka's defeat. We started on a page which depicted all the elements but Gempa in the Penta-Split being absorbed by Retak'ka. It showed moments from different perspectives at the same time. Flicking through, it showed the fight and the summoning of Frostfire, Glacier and me. Retak'ka was defeated, BoBoiBoy landed whilst de-transforming as me and he slipped off the dam's ledge. I questioned the possibility of anything else having occurred between then and the tent, and BoBoiBoy guided me to the next page.

I saw the water. I saw the ice. I saw BoBoiBoy.

'That's what you did to me.' Was what I heard.

He reminded me of my first hospital hallucination. About pain being a good teacher. He told me that it wasn't teaching me anything useful - such as not to make the same mistake again. And, if I continued to unconsciously block it out and refuse to accept it... I would never get that second chance.

I got my answer to the question I had been asking all along, I suppose."

Supra paused longer than he had anticipated. He didn't register the deeply concerned and apologetic looks that Solar and Halilintar shared. What had Supra been going through?

"I'm not sure if I can trust what happened today anymore," Tears started forming in Supra's eyes without warning. Why was he starting to cry now? "What if this is all just a hallucination again, building up my confidence like the last one only to have everything crash on me? First it was BoBoiBoy, and now it's all of you.

Not everything panned out the same as last time, sure - I wasn't surrounded in my sleep when I awoke - I was in the hospital bed like every other time. I didn't get a check-up like the one that you and Cahaya gave me. I didn't have casual conversation with both Trio Ori's and Beliung, and I didn't play card games or board games. I didn't get to enjoy the night and end it with a nice dinner like we had tonight.

Yet - Still, I find myself being welcomed by you. Still, I find everyone looking out and being cautious of my injuries. Still, I find myself meeting Beliung for the first time. Still, Taufan baked cookies and, still, I find myself recalling the events of my hallucinations. I can't enjoy anything that I've been handed tonight, and I can't feel relaxed even with knowing that you two are actively listening to everything I say and that everyone is trying to help.

I hate this! I really hate this! I hate everything about this! And yet I know that, in the grand scheme of everything, it's all about me. I want to do right by all of you. I want to make everyone proud. I want to help others, and I want to save others. I want to train without the worry of damaging anything. I want control over my own actions. I want to prove my worth. I want to redeem myself for everything I've done and yet I can't because I know that anything I do now will not be enough to repair the damage I've done to BoBoiBoy!

Everything is my fault and that's dragged all of you into it!"

Solar and Halilintar looked on in a panic at their fusion, who at this point was standing up and shouting through tears and snot, left fist clenched tightly.

"And I'm so, so sorry."

Supra fell to his knees, hiding his face in his hands.

"I-I don't want to bother you - everyone has been through so much more than I have. It's not your problem."

Supra tried to keep his voice steady.

"And yet... here I am. Complaining... to you two."

Supra's breathing picked up again.

"I'm sorry to everyone in the galaxy - for not being able to do things right."

His vision started turning red.

"I'm sorry to Princess Kuputeri - for putting her in a situation that was easily avoidable."

His left hand started tingling.

"I'm sorry to the other Fusions - for having to be directly associated with me."

His heart raced.

"I'm sorry to the Elements - for being a failure as one of their 'most powerful fusions'."

His head pounded.

"I'm sorry to BoBoiBoy - for not being the power he sought me out to be."

His throat held a metallic taste.

"I'm sorry to you two - for being your fusion."

He-

"I'm sorry."

He can't-

"I'm sorry."

He needed-

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'M SORRY-"

His voice got caught. He couldn't breathe. He felt a lump form in the back of his throat. A liquid formed at the bottom of his stomach, and it soon rose up - sick and vile and lumpy and hot. He lurched over.

Once. Twice. He heaved for a third time, but nothing came out.

He gasped for air.

He couldn't-

He couldn't do this.

Chapter Text

"Shit," Halilintar muttered, holding up Supra's body from falling into his own vomit. "Alright, Lar. What are we gonna do about this?"

"We..." Solar thought for a moment, examining Supra's condition. His breathing was still fast though it had significantly slowed now that he had passed out. His eyes shut tightly. His fist was still clenched tightly, even shaking from doing so. He had thrown up all over the floor twice. He was struggling to breathe. He had been crying and yelling. It hardly felt like it was Supra who was now in his and Halilintar's arms. "First, we're going to need to get him cleaned up. We can check his condition and the state of his injuries in the spare room we have—"

"All of the spares we had are being taken up by the others." Halilintar interjected. Right, they've had visitors over for a week now.

"Which room has people who we can move out quickly?"

"We could probably get Glacier and Sori to get it sorted if I tell them to pack up now."

"Then let's do that."

"Should I clean up here first?" Halilintar gestured to the mess on the floor, somewhat glad that it wasn't carpet. That factor wouldn't have mattered anyway with the problem at hand - and it didn't now. "You'd know the location of the medical equipment better than me, and it'll be more efficient if I do it."

"Probably for the best. Don't want anyone freaking out too much."

"...More than Supra?" Halilintar frowned sympathetically.

"...We've had our bad moments," Solar chose to say. "But right now, Supra's at his worst."

Halilintar nodded slowly, before going up to the iced-up wall and banging on it to grab Ais's attention.

...

After Halilintar had briefly explained the situation at hand – which just made everyone ask more questions than there was time for in the moment – he made his way back to the spare room in the emptier area of the vicinity. With a gentle push of the slightly-ajar door, he looked inside. The once semi-cluttered room occupied by Glacier and Sori had been promptly and properly cleaned out, leaving creamy-white walls, an empty wood desk and beige, carpeted floors all bathed in a golden glow by the singular lamp which was placed next to Solar, who sat on a desk chair writing notes into a clipboard. Supra, now dressed in a new, deep red shirt, laid on one of the two beds that were inside – face still with the only part of his body moving being the slow rise and fall of his chest underneath the golden yellow sheets. At least he seemed more at ease now than before; that was a start. Supra had been uneasy ever since he returned to the Watch Realm, so as everything unfolded it left Halilintar wondering. He knew better than to project any of those thoughts onto Supra, though.

He was standing around for too long without having done anything. When he shut the door, Solar looked over to his direction.

"Ah, Lintar," Solar hummed, almost amused. "I heard the ruckus coming from the dining area. What exactly did you tell them?"

"I told them that Supra had collapsed again and that you and I were going to be looking after him. I also told them not to barge in or make much noise." Halilintar explained.

"Hm, a bit of overreaction coming from them if what you said was true," Solar thought aloud. "Not completely uncalled for, though – Supra has been involved in a lot."

"You don't say," Halilintar hummed, taking another desk chair from beside the table and wheeling it over to Solar. He took a seat next to him and leaned over to try and read his notes. "How's he doing?"

"He's managing," Solar spoke, angling the clipboard towards the Lightning element. "I gave him nutrients via IV, though not for too long. He vomited quite a bit, most likely a lot – if not all – of the dinner we had, so he still needs some key nutrients especially now that he's more active. However, I don't want him getting uneasy over the IV again so it's best to do it in doses rather than a steady slow-drip. His breathing thankfully calmed down, too, so I didn't have to take action from there. Overall, his arm injury is doing okay due to the bandages restricting his movements and he hasn't inflicted any more injury onto himself. He isn't likely to wake up soon, however, even with all the in-and-out-of-consciousness moments he said he had been experiencing."

"Alright then." Halilintar nodded. He let his gaze linger on Supra's face and couldn't help but frown. Looking back at Solar, who continued to stare at his notes and occasionally write in different sections of his clipboard.

Solar noticed the uneasiness of the sigh that Halilintar let out, and with a subtle glance he caught onto the way his eyes kept on looking back and forth on the unconscious body that lay in front of him, the way the corners of his lips dropped and the way his brows furrowed further when his gaze landed on Supra's right arm. The Light elemental would console him, but what was he possibly supposed to say without sounding like he was reaching for empty bottles of positivity? The eldest knew just as much as he did, and even if he hadn't joined the "interview" he wasn't that much of an idiot to hear "everything will be okay" and automatically believe that everything will be better.

Like he and Cahaya had concluded at the end of their initial check-up – and what just about everyone else would come to as well – any kind of healing was going to need a lot of time.

"What are we going to do when he wakes up?" Halilintar asked tentatively, the look of defeat and vulnerability – a look that Solar had seen far-too often as of recent – which ghosted his face starting to make the youngest himself uneasy. "You and Cahaya can do all the check-ups you want, but at some point, you'll need to 'prescribe' him with something."

"I'm aware." Solar muttered. Though he sounded dismissive, it was really just him trying not to physically convey his distraught at the notion that Halilintar was right. Absolutely right. Maybe they were trying to just be fully sure that Supra was going to be well-on-the-way to a full recovery, but that point may never be reached anyway if they don't come up with a method to eventually lead to said recovery.

Watching Solar stare at his clipboard in deep thought left Halilintar feeling somewhat guilty.

"Solar," He called out. When met with nothing, Halilintar placed a hand on his shoulder and shook it firmly, trying again. "Solar."

Solar slowly turned to look at him, giving him an unreadable expression rather than 'snapping out of it' like he had expected – making the entire scene even more uncomfortable.

"...Sorry," Halilintar mumbled, but before Solar could interject and express his confusion he was already back to talking. "It's not right of me to judge the work you and Cahaya have been doing, considering the fact that you two are doing as much as you can to help Supra and especially considering the fact that hardly any of us are even contributing or assisting you two. I shouldn't be placing all the responsibility on you either – not just because it's embarrassing when I'm the eldest and I'm asking the youngest for logical ideas, but because you've already got enough to deal with."

"It's fine, really," Solar shrugged, grabbing Halilintar's wrist gently before squeezing it in reassurance and moving it from his shoulder. "Everyone has been at a loss for ideas – it's normal in these kinds of situations. And I can say with confidence that you guys doing 'nothing' and letting Cahaya and I do a greater portion of the work puts us at more ease than you think. Not that it fuels our ego or makes us feel more important than you – we just appreciate you letting us do the work that we know we're capable of. That and the past week on our part has gone much smoother than I anticipated with both Trio Troublemakers actually behaving. Sure, there has been some bickering here and there between everyone – but nothing purely chaotic like it tends to be every now and then. You should give yourselves more credit."

"I could say the same for you."

"Hm."

...

"I don't know what to do," Solar admitted, his voice almost completely lost to the wind to where the tapping of his fingers against the clipboard was louder. "I want to do whatever's best for Supra, but every time I come up with another idea I eventually find myself at dead end after dead end – leaving me walking some constant, tantalising loop. I need to approach this differently, but how is the question."

"What have you been trying to do so far?" Halilintar raised an eyebrow. "So far it seems like you two have been doing everything you can."

Solar went to respond, but he paused midbreath.

Everything. Solar wouldn't take credit for doing 'everything', but he and Cahaya surely were doing a lot. They wanted Supra to take it easy so his progress would be reasonable and unrushed – why not do the same?

"What's that brain of yours coming up with now?" Halilintar asked, his voice exasperated whilst his expression amused. "Was it something I said?"

As if he would admit it.

"Tch, you wish," Solar laughed, lightly punching Halilintar in the arm. "I was simply thinking, like most beings do."

"There's enough power in that brain of yours to power TAPOPS' old station," Halilintar retorted, receiving a scoff. "And I'm supposed to be the element who works with electricity. But, sure – take my title. You can try to take the name of the popular one, but you'll only ever achieve it in your dreams."

"Excuse you." Solar spoke through a passive-aggressive smile of grit teeth, leaning towards Halilintar's face like he was ready to burn holes into the eldest with his laser vision. "I don't need your title to prove anything, Pikachu. The only reason why you're more popular than me is because Ori's used you an astounding number of times compared to me! Sure, perhaps the fusions and Beliung get more attention despite not even having existed that long – but they're supposed to be literal upgrades of us. At the end of the day, however, quantity over quality ends up being more effective when the wielder of your powers also has six other powers to their name."

"So you're jealous."

Solar choked.

"I—ugh, I don't even know why I chose to work with you."

"And since when were you the one who gets to make all the choices?" Halilintar groaned.

"..."

"Cattus got your tongue?"

"Do you think this is why Supra didn't talk to us?"

Halilintar's smirk faded. The two sat in silence, the ticking of the clock and their breathing the only things heard amongst the white noise.

"We've always been at the whole rivalry thing," Halilintar reasoned. "That's just how it is with the two of us."

"That's the thing. We're always seen either being competitive or insulting each other – even though we don't always mean our insults genuinely, there's no doubt that we don't get along particularly well when we're around each other. Everyone else is used to it and the sometimes-straight-faced reactions that come with it, but to someone who's still learning and observing it probably looks like we're always at each other's throats and are just keeping it 'civil' because we have to. I mean, there we were just a minute ago – going back and forth from comparing each other’s knowledge to popularity, and then I bring up being fed up with you and considering the choice to pick someone else. Considering the fact that we're sitting directly in front of our cousin who's struggling with things that aren't in his control, isn't the topic starting to become insensitive?"

Halilintar frowned. He wanted to retaliate, really. Solar's rambling was going back and forth between trying to paint himself, and practically everyone, as either innocent or guilty for letting things get to where they were now. They needed an answer. Something had to be right. Someone had to be wrong. By picking it out, maybe they could finally do something.

"So, who do you think is at fault?" Halilintar asked, cutting straight to the point. Solar recoiled, giving him a troubled expression.

"We're all somewhat innocent and guilty," the second-tier Light element stumbled on his words, trying to come up with an answer. "Some of us having done more than others, but—"

"Well, who do you think contributed the most?" Halilintar pressed.

"Gah, I don't know, Halilintar!" Solar yelled out harshly. "All of us Second Tiers are responsible for not being able to look out for him properly and be there and engage with him considering we were the next 'position' up from them as the origin of their being - put simply, by age and by being his cousins! The same could be applied to the Fusions, who are his brothers and spend more time around him! You and I, and I suppose Petir and Cahaya too, are responsible as being the two powers that make his fusion up! Sori is responsible for opening up the can of worms called 'emotional training', and whatever factors contributed to us ending up in Windara like Reramos are also responsible for giving him 'false hope'! Just as Retak'ka is responsible for placing so much trauma and distress onto his existence. His fans are responsible for feeding him different responses that could be taken wrong and in a sense even Ori himself is responsible for not training with him! Hell, even Supra himself could be responsible for placing himself in his position by not opening up to us and talking!"

"So then who is at fault?!" Halilintar huffed, gaze both burning through Solar's visor and into his eyes and making him shudder at the pure, utter confusion and frustration and aimlessness behind them. He understood Halilintar. He understood the look, and he understood the feelings behind the shaking fist he had thudded into the arm rest of the chair he sat at. He wanted to help but he couldn't.

"Almost everyone's actions can be justified! The Second Tiers and Fusions couldn't tell that Supra was feeling so poorly of himself – there weren't any signs to go off of. You, Petir, Cahaya and I can't help being linked to Supra – that's just how things are. Sori's teachings, though having caused more negatives than positives, were never intended to be harsh on him and were, in-fact, doing what they were supposed to – helping Supra understand the world and beings around him from a different point of view. Reramos' actions were bad, but in a sense, it was Princess Kuputeri who requested Ori's help – and we can't blame her for wanting to save her planet from his tyranny. Retak'ka is just straight-up awful, don't get me started. But we can't just blame Ori and Supra's fans for their reactions when Supra just doesn't know to interpret them, and we definitely can't say that Ori's choice to use other elements and fusions aside from Supra isn't valid when he has so much on his plate already and he can only handle so much. And, as for Supra? With how we're acting now his refusal to talk to us is completely justified."

"We need to figure out where it all started," Halilintar sighed. "Maybe that'll finally get us somewhere."

"Personally, in my very amazing, smart opinion, what I think you two should be doing," A voice butted in from the doorway. "Is stopping whatever you two are doing now. With all the yap, yap, yap you guys have been at – I would be acting like Mr Grumpy-in-Red too. That, and if I were in Supra's position, I wouldn't want my 'unexpected beauty sleep' to be interrupted by anyone – whether they meant a lot to me or not."

Halilintar slowly turned around and Solar peered over his shoulder to look at whoever was standing at the door... only to find Blaze leaning up against it. He was in a pair of black pyjamas with flames starting on the pant legs and sleeves and twisting their way up like glowing snakes – themed like everyone else's clothing basically was. That and, of course, his favourite brown chicken plushie Drumstick was wrapped firmly in his arms. If he hadn't pulled the out words from the invisible bag he owned, then his pose would have made him look like a young kid going up to his parents' room after having a nightmare. However, the Fire element instead had a smug smirk on his face the entire time they stared, though Solar noticed his character break slightly when his eyes met Halilintar's. Well, that's what he gets for poking fun at the eldest.

"Blaze—" Solar hissed, but he was abruptly cut-off.

"SHHHH." Blaze shushed him not-so-quietly, moving his free hand in front of his face to make the hand signal before pulling the door shut with a surprisingly quiet click for the speed at which he did it. "I made it this far without waking up anyone else other than Air – who literally slumped own and started snoring not even 10 seconds after I told him that I was going to get a glass of water – and I'm not gonna let you ruin my efforts. It's late already but Mama Gem and Tanah are FINALLY in bed – and, yup, I made sure they were asleep before making my way over here – so you better keep the noise down."

"Says the one who came here unannounced." Halilintar rolled his eyes, dropping Blaze's comment from earlier. “But, seriously – why are you here? You should be in bed. Granted, for someone who should be in bed, you’re incredibly hyper right now.”

“I’d say the same for you, but you two got special pardons for staying up.” Blaze shrugged, plopping himself onto the free bed and placing Drumstick down next to him. Solar and Halilintar rotated their chairs to face him. “As for me? I really did just want a glass of water. Buuuuuut you guys caught my attention why I was on my way there.”

“This room is nowhere near the quarters you’re staying that.” Solar pointed out. “Also, are you getting water because you’ve been ‘chowing down’ on the sour gummies that were in the pantry?”

“Uhm, well, haha, I—” Blaze spluttered. “Ehhh – that doesn’t matter. And neither does our rooms being far apart when I can hear you two arguing.”

“We were not arguing.” Halilintar clarified.

“Well it sure sounded like it.” Blaze refuted. “I can see where Solar came from when he said that you two are people with very uninviting auras.” Solar and Halilintar faces scrunched up in either offense or in realisation that Blaze was partly right – Blaze of course reaching for the latter. “Anyways, I came to see if you two were at each other’s throats or not so that I could barge in and valiantly take Supra away from such a toxic environment—”

“Why are you—”

“—AH, ah, ah – shush.” Blaze shook his head and wagged his finger dramatically, and Solar struggled with the urge to strangle the middle child. “The point is – you two need to lighten up. Which is ironic considering the three of us are all capable of producing light.”

“I’m surprised you even know how to use ‘ironic’ correctly.” Solar scoffed.

“Who said I did?” Blaze raised an eyebrow. “Also, stop butting in. If you want me to get out, lemme say what I wanna say and then I can go and leave you two to wallow in your own, undeserved guilt.”

“...What do you mean ‘undeserved’?” Solar laughed emptily. “It’s completely—”

“No, it’s not.” Blaze huffed. “And you’ve gotta stop telling yourselves that you are guilty. And – especially for Hali – you need to stop trying to find someone in particular who’s guilty, responsible, to blame, yada-yada-ya.”

When Blaze didn’t receive a response, he continued.

“Yeah, sure, everyone could be blamed. And everyone has some kind of defence, whether the action is good or bad or the reasons behind it are good or bad. But trying to find someone to blame isn’t going to make us feel better or do a whole lot when you don’t REALLY know. It only fans the flames. Like, you two are stressing out over the fact that you need to find a ‘root of all evil’ behind this – when, really, you guys should be the ones under control! So, like I said earlier – stop. Stop trying to reason with everything and try to make sense of it. If you want to help Supra, help Supra with what you can actually see. If you two keep on reaching for something you don’t even know exists, you’re gonna spiral out of control, fall down a rabbit hole that you dug yourselves and forget about the obvious stuff. You see Supra has a hand injury? Treat the hand injury with meds! Supra’s starting to heat up? Cool him down! You’re useless if you can’t help him, but you’re hopeless if you can’t help yourselves. You’re both smart enough to get basic tasks like injecting medicine and temperature checking. You don’t need Supra to recover mentally in order to do that. Like – he’s asleep, bros. So relax – you’re seeing everything much worse than it really is.”

When Blaze finished, he saw the looks on his siblings’ faces. Down-turned eyebrows, eyes staring at the floor, lips forming straight lines and backs hunched over. Their thinking faces, if you will. Blaze wasn’t necessarily surprised that they had listened to him – and if they hadn’t he would have gladly repeated himself until he had gotten the message through their thick skulls – but he was more so impatient over the fact that they were thinking over such a simple concept so much. All they had to do was relax. Then again, what did he expect from the Pikachu and the Lightbulb?

“Look,” Blaze cut in again, catching Halilintar and Solar’s attention as he firmly placed his hands on their shoulders and leaned in. “From your cool middle brother to you two, the youngest and the eldest, I get you guys are stressed, and I get you guys feel responsible – we all feel the same way. The First Tiers, Second Tiers, Third Tiers, Fusions. You two aren’t alone, y’know? Supra isn’t just your responsibility to look after – he’s all our responsibility. And we’re here for him just as much as we’re here for you two. Eh, we’re all here to look out for one another. That’s what family is for, including Ori and Tok Aba. That’s what friends are for. We have friends, too, y’know? Gopal, Qually, Fang, Yaya, Ying and Ochobot namely, but a ton of others as well. And I know they’d help us too.”

When Blaze was only met with blank stares yet again, he sighed.

“You guys really are emotionally unavailable, aren’t you?”

And he pulled the two into a firm hug. They gasped, at first freezing in place before hesitantly wrapping their arms around the Fire element and relaxed. It lasted a few moments, but the tranquillity didn’t last long as Blaze received a light fist to the head, making the middle sibling overreact and recoil to the opposite wall, yelping.

“Hey, what gives?” He spat.

“You don’t get to get away with insulting us over and over again.” Halilintar smirked. “That’s payback.”

“Whatever, whatever.” Blaze rolled his eyes at the way Solar and Halilintar snickered.

“Thanks for that, Laze.” Solar spoke quietly.

“...What was that?” Blaze’s eyes lit up excitedly, leaning towards Solar with a hand cupped to his ear.

Blaze was never gonna let him live this down, was he?

“I said,” Solar seethed, causing Blaze to shrink back again. “Thank you. For saying everything you had. I... didn’t realise how much help you could be.”

“Alright, at this point I might as well keep on throwing tactical words at you,” Blaze joked. “At the same time, what did you expect from me? I’m the pinnacle of ‘keeping it cool’ – you already know how my powers were manifested.”

“Yeah, yeah, everyone knows the infamous story, you arsonist.” Halilintar jabbed.

“Honestly, I don’t get why people always freak out whenever they hear ‘arson’,” Blaze complained, Halilintar and Solar sharing looks. “It’s not our fault that Api, FrostFire and I like fire when we’re literally the embodiment of it. Besides, fire was basically the only thing keeping cavemen alive when they needed food or when the sun wasn’t around. You can’t help but admit it’s cool.”

“...That’s not arson. That’s just fascination for fire.” Solar corrected.

“What? What’s the difference?” Blaze asked, before turning to Halilintar. “And why call me an arsonist then?”

“Arson refers to someone who actively goes out and sets fire to or burns properties, like houses.” Solar explained. “An arsonist is someone who does arson. Like, obviously sets things on fire that would typically get you caught by the police. Not a candle or anything.”

“Ohhhhhh...” Blaze realised. “I would say that was a one-time thing, but no – you’re right. Can’t help setting things on fire when half the time it’s to save the galaxy or complete a mission or whatever.”

“I suppose.” Solar replied simply.

“Alright, I should probably get my glass of water and go to bed.” Blaze announced with a yawn, standing up abruptly. “You guys have used up all the energy I had before and now I’m puffed. G’night.”

“Alright, good night Blaze.” The other elements replied. Solar’s clipboard was pulled from his grasp and set on the nightstand, replaced with Drumstick.

“Keep him next to Supra. For emotional support.” Blaze winked, now standing at the door. Solar nodded, and Blaze opened the door quietly and moved into the corridor. “Oh, and don’t bring up the sour candy please.”

“No promises.” Halilintar added, leaving Blaze scowling and eyeing him as he slowly backed away from the door and shut it with a click.

Solar stared at the plushie in his arms. He would have expected it to be dirty and battered in the hands of Blaze, but considering Blaze only left it inside the quarters unless in case of emergency it also wasn’t a surprise that it was basically as pristine as when it was first bought. It was part of a huge set Blaze had, though it cost him most of his older plushies. He was in deep regret for the first few weeks, but he eventually got over it. Solar quickly inspected it to make sure there was nothing that could heavily contaminate the area, until he realised it was pointless anyway. He placed it on top of the pillow Supra’s head rested on, as if it was watching over him.

“I think I know what we need to do.”

...

A golden yellow filtered through his closed eyes, yet it held no meaningful warmth. Not that Supra really noticed when he slowly came back to consciousness like he had countless other times before. A cool breeze washed in, presumable from some opening in whatever room he was in – a window or the door, perhaps. When his eyes adjusted, he found himself in a bed again. Not a hospital bed, but a bed. Though, he supposed it would be more concerning if he woke up in something that wasn’t a bed.

“Supra?” The owner to that name widened his eyes, turning his head and his vision clearing to reveal Halilintar and Solar.

“Really? ‘Supra’, Halilintar?” He heard Solar scoff. “Considering you’re, like, one half of his being, I’d hope you’d know what his name is.”

“Oh, please, what would you have said?” Halilintar retaliated.

“How are you feeling?” Solar directed his words to Supra, though it was clear that, for some part, those words were directed to attack Halilintar.

“...Managing.” Supra responded simply. “Better than previous times, if we exclude the time I was surrounded by Sori, Air and Daun. How long ago was that?”

“Only yesterday.” Solar’s eyes flickered to the clock. “It’s 3:47, Monday morning.”

“Have you been awake the entire time?” Supra asked hesitantly, noticing the subtle eyebags under both of their eyes.

“Of course.” Solar looked concerned that Supra asked such a question. “We needed to be prepared in case something ever happened to you. Of course, we had moments of temptation, but luckily we have access to plenty of coffee.”

Supra figured that out just fine – he knew the siblings in front of him were quiet the coffee drinkers, and the scent was nothing new to the scientist who spent his time cooped up in the lab like those before him. Coffee was typically the only other scent that would ever waft through the lab’s interior, minus both the experimental and cleaning chemicals. It was a scent that Supra was surrounded by quite often, he realised.

“You really shouldn’t have.” Supra frowned. “I’m sure I could have managed myself just fine.”

“Maybe so. But you should remember who you’re related to.” Halilintar reminded him. “And, reasonably, it’d be idiotic to leave you be especially without some kind of device attached to you to alert us. And to leave to get those would already be inconvenient when we were already in the room and everyone else was asleep.”

“Oh, everyone had fallen asleep by then?”

“Well, by the time you passed out there were already a few people preparing for bed.” Solar remembered. “And then to set this room up for you and return the hangout room to its former state took a few minutes as well. At that point everyone had basically gone to their respective rooms.”

Supra propped his arms up in what he soon found out to be a feeble attempt at sitting against the headboard. Rather than ushering him back to his laying position, Solar and Halilintar moved to help him up. As they did so, Supra’s hand landed on a brown chicken plush which he somehow didn’t notice was just above his head the entire time. He took the soft brown plush in his hands and brought it up to his head to inspect it closely.

It had to have been Blaze’s, he concluded. His older brother was a fan of both chickens and whales, expectedly, but it didn’t take a genius to know that he particularly liked two species of birds: Sitta canadensis and Aegithalos caudatus – red-breasted nuthatches and long-tailed tits. When Supra first found out, it was when FrostFire was doodling on a page in a sketchbook. Supra hadn’t known that he had owned a sketchbook, or that he even enjoyed sketching, but there were photos of the two birds on Frost’s computer screen that Supra assumed he had been using for reference seeing as the images were being drawn rather accurately. Supra never thought much about the specifics, seeing as these were just birds, until FrostFire started sharing his fondness of them more often and they even started appearing in the natural areas of the Watch Realm.

Thinking back on it, Supra found the choices more appropriate than as to why Blaze chose chickens to be his favourite (unless it was purely the ‘frying’ and ‘roasting’ part – which quite honestly raised more questions than answers). Red-breasted nuthatches were both a bluish- grey and a brownish-red, parallel to Blaze and Ais respectively, and they were found in colder climates. As for the long-tailed tits, Supra took note that Frost favoured a particular variant found only in a part of Japan – Shima enaga, commonly referred to as ‘cotton-ball birds’ due to their near-completely white, round appearance. FrostFire tended to think of them more as ‘snowball birds’, however, most likely sparking the Ais-related attribute to a Blaze-related favourite animal.

Supra also wondered if either of his older siblings had a favourite aquatic animal like their common element.

“Uhm, Blaze had briefly visited us during the early hour of looking after you. He told us to keep Drumstick here with you in order to keep you company. It seems fine, but if there’s anything in particular that bothers you just say the word.” Solar explained, watching Supra hold it in his hands.

“Why would I be bothered by a plush?” Supra asked straightforwardly.

“I don’t know.” Solar shrugged, though a tinge of pink seemed to dust his face as he averted his gaze from direct eye contact. “Perhaps there’s a weird smell or texture or stain on it that I failed to pick up on sooner.”

“It seems fine to me.” Supra concluded, placing the plush on his lap and resting his hands on it like an owner would pet a cat or dog in their lap. Supra wasn’t going to pat a chicken. A fake one, at that.

“Well, what now?” Halilintar asked.

“Lintar!” Solar exclaimed in annoyance.

“I’m just saying – I don’t see any reason to talk about anything else without it becoming too overused. Do you want something to do or eat, maybe?” Halilintar offered Supra. He thought for a moment. He didn’t feel particularly up to doing anything in his condition, though there were many things he wished he could be doing instead. That, and he wasn’t in the mood to do anything else but talk, considering everyone else seemed to have things happening in their lives that didn’t include experiencing constant hallucinations and passing out. However, since he was given the option, he supposed having something to eat would suffice too.

“Is it advisable that I eat now or later?” Supra asked.

“Well, it’s up to how you’re feeling stomach-wise. If you’ve got some stomach issues or you don’t feel like eating, you don’t have to just yet. But, if you want to, then by all means go ahead. I’ll be able to administer medication afterwards. Just nothing too heavy, though.”

“Is a cup of honey and lemon green tea and some crackers okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Solar nodded, before standing up and smoothing his clothing out. “I’ll go and prepare them. Be back soon.” And with that, Solar walked out of the room quietly.

Supra didn’t really know what to say. Halilintar implied that he didn’t want to talk, but Supra wanted to.

“Halilintar.”

Halilintar looked to Supra.

“Mhm?”

Supra hesitated.

“Will I be okay?”

Halilintar hesitated

“You’ll be fine.”

Supra didn’t respond.

“Do you feel fine?”

Supra shook his head.

“Not entirely, no.”

Halilintar paused.

“What do you feel then?”

Supra though.

“Fatigued. Stiff. Unproductive.”

Halilintar nodded, his lips pursed tightly.

“Is there anything that you could do that would help with those?”

Supra shook his head.

“I’m not interested in spending any more time resting, as that doesn’t seem to be improving the situation. And I probably shouldn’t move too much. As for productivity, a range of the tasks I have to complete are located in my lab. I’m not confident that I should be travelling there either.”

“Unless there’s something you’re not telling me, I don’t think there’s any reason that you shouldn’t be allowed to at least sit up and swing your legs or lift your arms. All of our training starts off with small steps, and that can apply to anything that we do. Even moving your fingers or your feet is a start as long as you get to move something. And, as for getting you to the lab, I do have one question.”

“What is it?” Supra asked curiously.

“Is it that you’re not confident in being able to get there? Or is it that you’re not confident being there at all?”

Supra looked down at himself, and he knew that he’d have to be careful moving around just about anywhere. He thought back to the memories associated with the lab. He hadn’t taken Halilintar’s second connotation into consideration before, but he certainly was now.

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” Halilintar spoke up, noticing the way Supra tensed. “No one’s forcing you to go in there. If there’s like, paperwork or something you want to do, we can easily get someone to get it for you and bring it here.”

“I want to.” Supra huffed. “I’d rather that than sitting around doing what feels like nothing all day. It’s just... a lot has happened. Things that aren’t so positive.”

“That’s true.” Halilintar agreed. “But, of everything that has possibly happened in there from when it existed until now, surely not everything was negative. That, and we have to think about the future. Think of it like, I don’t know – probability or something. Percentages or whatever. If, say, you had 4 majorly good experiences and 4 majorly bad experiences in that lab overall until right now, the odds of have either a good or bad experience are 50/50 each. I don’t know what that kind of probability is specifically called, but it’s the opposite to the type where the chances are fixed—”

“—Experimental probability.” Supra stated easily.

“Yeah, that one. Those can change, but more needs to happen in order to change them. I know that you’ve had a jarring experience in there, but the only one really stopping you from having better days in there is, well, you. You can change the probabilities. You can get in there and do something, even simple, and count it as a majorly good experience if you can look back on what you achieved.

A year’s worth of a few bad experiences doesn’t decide the outcome of a lifetime’s worth of every experience that’s still to come.”

Supra had an unusual warmth flow through his body. A reassuring one.

“Uh, again – this isn’t me forcing you to go.” Halilintar clarified, smiling awkwardly. “It’s just something you should think about if you’re scared of going back in there and having something bad happen. It’s okay to feel scared and have that notion – every one of us gets scared and you know that. From simple startles to phobias like mine. I mean, I hate balloons popping – that doesn’t mean I go out of my way to avoid every single party or occasion that I’m invited to or even in the vicinity of. I’ll try to avoid them, but I’m not going to tell someone ‘Hey, can you get rid of those balloons because I’m deathly scared of them?’ That’s a little rude, but not only that – I came to also recognise that by being around more people with balloons popping, not only do I tend to calm down more afterwards, but I realised that not all balloons are bad. There are alternatives, but the sound of balloons popping can’t be associated with everything bad when some of those instances involve little kids enjoying their birthdays. You can hate the person who gave you the phobia, but it’s hard to hate the people who trigger the phobia when they don’t know. That can apply to us as well, you know, in your context. We acted really shit in your dream, but when you see us in reality – we’re not all that dismissive and rude, are we?”

Supra smiled brightly.

“Thank you, Hali. Thank you so much.

I think I’ll go there later today.”

“Sorry, where are you going?” Solar asked, raising an eyebrow as he walked in with a cup of tea, three bottles of water and a plate of crackers on a platter. Supra and Halilintar chuckled, and Solar couldn’t help but ignore the confusion for a moment and join in.

Chapter Text

Supra stood in front of the keypad, hesitant to enter the codes to get into the lab. From what he had heard, Sori had been looking after it anyway. Supra hoped that he hadn’t interfered with anything, but there was no guarantee that there would be anything left to interfere with anyways. Supra couldn’t remember if he had any other experiments scheduled, which concerned him considering that he was usually very good with memory. Perhaps a side effect of the past weeks’ events.

He had spent a good portion of the morning in that same room with Solar and Halilintar, the trio mainly focused on getting Supra mobile again. Supra took Halilintar’s advice of starting slow, which was really advice Supra already knew but unfortunately needed to be reminded of, and under their careful gazes he was able to take steps pretty regularly by midday.

Of course, they didn’t get through the entire morning without interruptions. Supra welcomed them.

Most of the interruptions involved the elements and fusions greeting Supra and checking in on him. They were still a little concerned after gathering whatever pieces of evidence they were able to piece together, but by the time they walked past the room they had received a fair amount of reassurance from Supra, Solar and Halilintar. However, there were a couple of incidences involving both Trio Troublemakers. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Blaze had eventually come back for Drumstick, taking him from Supra’s bed... but not leaving without receiving a fully written report of Drumstick’s performance. In truth, Drumstick hadn’t really done much at all for Supra other than contribute to some amount of sentimentality, but Supra couldn’t say that Drumstick had been a bother to anyone. Upon receiving it, Blaze left whilst cooing to the plushie and congratulating it for its efforts and hard work, and that it’d “be treated to a large bowl of seeds”. Whether he meant that truly or not, today wouldn’t be the day that Supra would find that out.

It was about mid-afternoon now. 3:46PM Monday. A number of the elements were hesitant about letting him go to the lab – some due to concern of his health, others because Supra hadn’t hung out with them today. Supra did feel responsible for not giving them any attention, but Halilintar told him just to do what he wants.

So, here he was.

“You alright? You’ve been standing there for a while now.” Supra’s eyes widened, and he turned around to face Glacier. He held a plate of fresh, steaming, triple chocolate brownies, and the scent was definitely appealing. Glacier noticed the direction of Supra’s gaze and smiled as he held the plate out towards him.

“You can take all of these. FrostFire and I made a few batches for the rest, but we remembered that you were going to be here for probably the rest of the afternoon. So he sent me down to hand these to you.” Glacier explained. Supra hesitated for a moment, unsure if he was going to be able to eat all 6 slices of them. “If you really don’t want all of them, then at least try one and leave the rest of me. I won’t waste good food.” Glacier basically read his mind. Supra reached for a brownie.

“And you’re saying that me not having multiple would be wasting food?” Supra accused, holding the brownie up to his mouth and taking a bite. It was fluffy, and the chocolate melted in his mouth since it was fresh. It was good. Really good.

“Well, it would be wasting them in their prime, yeah.” Glacier mumbled through a full mouth as he proceeded to take a brownie anyways and eat it. “Oh, Frost also told me to give you this. We know that too much sugar isn’t your favourite.” And Supra was handed a bottle of water. He took it gladly, taking a few gulps of it.

“Thank you.” Supra smiled. “Did you want the rest?”

“Only if you don’t want them. I said I’d cover for you, not that I’d take them from you. I don’t want to feel bad. Besides, they’re good, right?” Glacier pouted.

“Of course.” Supra nodded. “Ah, what about we split them between us? I’ll take two and you can take the remaining two.”

“I won’t argue with that.” Glacier agreed happily, taking another brownie. He gestured to the keypad. “Are you still going to go in?”

“...Yes.”

“Can I come in too?”

“Why?” Supra asked, confused.

“Just to hang out. Unless it smells bad in there. Then I’m not interested.”

“Fair enough.” Supra shrugged. He didn’t know what inside would have smelled bad unless Sori wasn’t tending to something like some of the chemicals. “If you do stay, you’ll have to keep those brownies at the table closest to the door here. I don’t need anything contaminated.”

Glacier nodded. Supra turned back to the door, hand hovering over the keypad. He would have continued to just stare at it, but now he had someone expecting him to go in. No turning back, he supposed. He cautiously entered the code, as if his body was preparing for something to lunge out at him from inside. When it beeped with a flash of green light, the door whirred and with a quiet woosh it opened. However, something immediately caught his attention. Instead of the lights powering on, there was already light inside. Natural light. He looked to the ceiling and saw that the metal panels were opened to reveal the windows and the ventilation system, with sunlight filtering through. Supra never used it often for simply natural light – usually just to inspect and contain gases that get sucked into the vents safely. It was something Sori did a lot; his indoor lab being almost completely lined with windows. Of course, they could be closed and artificial lights were a thing he had too.

“It’s a lot brighter in here than I thought it would be.” Glacier commented.

“Is it now?” Supra questioned, referring to the sides of the room not receiving nearly as much light.

“The centre, then.”

“Did you want me to close the hatches? I could always add the tints as well.”

“Maybe just the tints? The natural light makes the place look a lot livelier than it normally does.”

Supra nodded, pressing a few buttons on a monitor until the natural light seemed to dim from one side to the other. Now, looking back on the lab itself, it was rather tidy. Pretty much everything was where it was supposed to be. The files were either neatly stacked or stored in their respective cabinets. All the equipment was accounted for – Sori seemed to have filled out the daily equipment report easily. It was just to check all the chemicals and the experiment rooms—

Right.

Supra found himself gravitating towards the door of that lab. He didn’t really understand why. His feet seemed to move on their own, though, and soon he was standing there. Just outside the door.

It was clean. He knew it was. Sori and Solar had said it themselves – they had disinfected everything. And Supra knew that they were stingy with their clean-up procedures. The smallest thing they miss could, though unlikely, lead to some unfortunate happenings in the future.

Yet, Supra could still see the stains. The marks. The cracks, too. Even knowing everything that he did.

The ghost of his figure seemed to linger there, too. Staring at the mirror, talking to someone. Ori. He couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but he didn’t need to when he knew.

“Are you alright?” Supra gasped sharply. The hazy figures seemed to fade, revealing his and Glacier’s reflection in the glass. Knowing that he was hallucinating didn’t feel any more reassuring than not knowing. Supra noticed the way his lips and hands trembled, and the glistening in his eyes. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder, and he breathed deeply. “Is this where...?”

“Yes.” Supra nodded. “...You didn’t know?”

“Uhm, honestly? No, I didn’t.” Glacier admitted sheepishly, glancing to the side. “I hardly come here anyway, so I didn’t really see the need to visit in the past week. Not that I mean to undermine what happened – it just wasn’t something I really thought about doing.”

“You never had to come here to begin with.” Supra shrugged. “All I really needed was someone to tidy up the lab and monitor all the chemicals in here.”

Glacier just nodded quietly. Supra looked to the open/close button, and for a moment he contemplated against going in there straight away. But, Halilintar’s words had admittedly stuck with him. If he got through the tough part now, he could get to the easier-to-bear rooms. With that in mind, he pressed the button. What first hit him was the immediate pang of chemicals that was definitely stronger than all the usual disinfectants that he usually used in the lab. Was the staining or scent really that bad?

“What’s with the smell in here?” Glacier shuddered, shifting away from the door. “It smells like vinegar and rotten eggs.”

“Here.” Supra quickly moved to a drawer and pulled out a few scented face masks, handing one to Glacier. “They’re lemon-scented, so they should be able to block out part of the smell.” He also went and turned on the ventilation system to medium-high power in that cleaning chamber.

“You’re going in there?” Glacier asked, watching Supra enter the cleaning chamber and pull out a pair of gloves and goggles.

“Just in the next room.” Supra answered. “I’m going to check on the chemicals.”

“Oh. Did you want me to join you?” Glacier offered. Supra was touched by the offer.

“You can, but do you think you’ll be able to stand still well enough as to avoid bumping into anything? It’s completely safe to be in there, and I trust you enough – but if you don’t trust yourself enough to be in here then you can stay outside all you want.”

“I don’t have full confidence that I’ll be able to 100% avoid accidents, but the curiosity is killing me and I’ve never been inside before. You usually don’t allow us.”

“I try to avoid it when I can.” Supra agreed, pulling on a lab coat. “But I need someone to keep an eye on me in case my condition worsens for any reason.”

“Reasonable.”

Supra pressed another button, and soon sliding doors revealed an empty room. Not that it was a surprise when more than 50% of it was glass. Eventually, blue lights lit up along the edges of the floors, walls, ceilings, and just about any ‘edge’ they could be on. Supra walked in, but Glacier chose to observe from the doorway.

Glacier’s eyes were graced with a multitude of glowing liquids and other substances in small tubes. Vibrant turquoises, scarlets, greens, purples, pinks... the list could go on. Some colours almost seemed to warp; some alternating between the main colour and its corresponding shade, some alternating between two contrasting colours such as royal blue and golden yellow or a bright violet and a toxic green, and some even consisting of multiple colours like a neon green which changed throughout the colour spectrum until it became a deep blue before seemingly reversing in order to revert back to its first state. Some liquids had other properties, such as how an vial with black liquid seemed sparkle like it was laced with glitter and a blue, glowing plasma of some sort kept on forming geometric shapes within its special cube-shaped glass casing. It was breathtaking.

Eventually, the lights in the room lightened up to a creamy white, and the colours definitely weren’t as cool to look at as before now that the room felt more like a storage room and less like a violet void filled with an array of colourful stars.

“...You’re not bothered by the cold?” Supra asked curiously... until he saw Glacier’s unimpressed face – his eyebrow raised accusingly. Supra stammered. “Uhm, I—nevermind. I don’t know why I asked that question when it has such an obvious answer.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Glacier shrugged. “How cold is it in here anyways?”

“It’s set at 2^oC.” Supra read the thermometer on the wall. “If it were to go to freezing or below, a lot of the equipment wouldn’t be able to handle it over long periods of time, especially if the electrical lines and backup generator were ever going to stop. This is mostly to keep the substances inside from reacting, as lower temperatures slow the movement of molecules. For the dangerous chemicals or those with lower boiling points, they’re kept in an ice chamber that should last about three days without power.”

“Interesting.” Glacier nodded along.

Supra stood in front of a cabinet, and with a few beeps of the keypad underneath his fingertips, a small motor started whirring. The shelf that the vial in front of him were stored then moved up, their place being replaced with the shelf beneath. A few muffled, rhythmic clinking sounds came from the cabinet as the shelves continued to cycle through, until the one that Supra had entered in came into view. However, what was supposed to be ten vials of fertiliser in front of him was an empty shelf with a card placed in the centre.

[CHEMICAL REMOVAL REPORT]

Supra frowned. He read what was on the report, and the fertilisers he was looking for matched what was recorded on the card. The reasons notes read: All 10 batches in use for a currently unfiled experiment. On the administrator input was, thankfully and unfortunately, Sori’s code. He should have figured that his younger brother would have taken those vials for his own entertainment. But at least he’d have an idea on how to handle them – they were only fertilisers.

Glacier caught on to Supra’s facial expressions. “Is everything alright?”

“Hm, I suppose it’s alright.” Supra shrugged, turning away from the cabinet and making his way to the doorway. “I was concerned that I was missing 10 vials of fertiliser, but it turns out that Sori had taken them for his own use. It’s nothing he can’t handle, nor was I actually going to be using them today.”

“What’s so important about fertiliser?”

“I was planning to use it for an experiment before I collapsed. I never had the chance to return them back to storage, so I wondered if they had been thrown out or not.”

Glacier nodded, watching Supra turn off the lights and shut the door. Supra removed his lab coat and goggles, placing them off to the side, before turning on an exhaust fan and leaving the room with Glacier following suit. They got the remove the masks, Glacier thankful to breathe normally again...

...Was the scent of brownies stronger than it was before or was it just him?

“Frost, get off the table.”

Glacier stifled a laugh, turning around to see their eldest brother sitting on the table with his own plate of brownies.

“Fine...” FrostFire complained, hopping off and sitting on a chair. “Oh, also – I ate your brownies. BUT I replaced them with the warm ones I had brought, so it should be fine?”

Supra merely shrugged, taking a brownie from the plate and eating it.

“Good, right?” FrostFire asked, a mix of pride and nervousness in his voice.

“They’re good.”

FrostFire cheered to himself quietly, earning a laugh from Glacier.

“Also, I like what you’ve done with the place.” FrostFire commented. “It feels more open with the top exposed.”

“That was Sori’s doing.”

“Makes sense.”

“Anything else you need to check out?” Glacier directed his question at Supra.

“I’ll need to check on the plant samples I planned to work with that day as well. I’m sure those have already been handled as well, but I’ll need to check when they were disposed.”

“Disposed? Like, thrown out?” FrostFire clarified.

“Like a more careful kind of throwing things out, sure.” Glacier hummed.

“Why throw the plants out into the trash?” FrostFire frowned. “I’m sure your lab has some kind of system to keep things like those alive and well-kept. What gives?”

“By ‘disposed’, I don’t mean literally disposing of them in a waste bin– just regarding their removal from the workspace. The point of my experiment involving them was to compare the growth of grass samples when I introduce 50mL of fertiliser from different planets. My controls were the native species of the relative planets, as well as the plants and grass without fertiliser at all. My experiment isn’t valid if the plants have already started growing, as there’s definitely no way to hold the growth of a plant – or any living thing, for that matter. Even if the fertilisers were administered, I wasn’t available to observe and note their growth. Hence why the plants should be disposed.”

“How do you know they were disposed of? Maybe... maybe, when you open that door, the only thing you’ll be able to is vines and grass and leaves – like a jungle.” FrostFire eluded.

“I asked Sori to dispose of them, but he said he had taken care of it beforehand since he already knew about the contents of my experiment.” Supra shrugged. There were only nods that followed, allowing Supra to breathe. “...We’ve been spending too much time going on unnecessary tangents today. This was supposed to be a streamlined walkthrough of the lab and then I would be returning back to the Second Tiers’ part of the Watch Realm to rest.”

Glacier and FrostFire shared glances as they silently followed their younger brother down the hallway to what they soon found out to be the greenhouse of his lab. As Supra had mentioned, Sori seemed to have removed all the plant specimens, Glacier noticing a familiar report taped to the glass of the chamber. Their time spent observing Supra from the doorway was quiet aside from the usual mechanical sounds. Supra didn’t pay too much attention to the near-sudden lack of noise in the surrounding atmosphere – being mostly relieved that he could focus on what he wanted to.

Soon enough, the lights were flicked off and the lab door was shut, hiding away the natural light that still continued to filter through the sunroof (mostly because Glacier and FrostFire insisted that the lab was much more inviting that way). Supra instinctively walked away from his siblings to get back to the Second Tiers. FrostFire and Glacier shared another glance, FrostFire shrugging and turning to walk to other direction before getting elbowed in the side by the ice-and-quake fusion. FrostFire scowled, but when his gaze met the piercing glare of the other, he huffed in defeat.

“Hey, uhm, we were going to visit Sori at his greenhouse.” FrostFire started, hesitant to speak up. “He’s been in his lab for most of the midday, so we were going to find him and bring him back with us so that he can eat something. You... wanna come too? It’s fine if not, obviously, since we know that you’re—”

“It’s fine.” Supra cut him off, turning around and walking up to the other fusions. “I’ll join you.”

Silence filled the atmosphere again as the three’s footsteps echoed throughout the empty hallway. This kind of silence wasn’t unusual to them necessarily – especially before Sori came. Quiet walks like this used to be the norm. FrostFire, however, couldn’t help but feel uneasy at the awkwardness circulating around them. He was sure that even the smallest flame could set it alight. He was the next most-talkative fusion after Sori, so perhaps that was just it.

But when did things change?

As they went further, taking a few turns here and there, the humming of a tune through closed doors seemed to be getting louder and louder. FrostFire soon realised that it was the sound of PinkPatheress’s song Boy’s A Liar being played loudly. “Well, someone’s here alright.”

Glacier knocked at the door, calling out “Sori, it’s me – Glace. I brought a few friends too.” just for good measure. There was the sound of glass clinking, and the door slid open in a flash to reveal a wide-smiled Sori wearing some overalls and a glove on his left hand.

“Hi Mama Gla— AHHHHHH!” Sori’s face of joy immediately drained itself of any colour as he screamed, the light-leaf fusion scrambling back a few steps. The three who stood on the other side of the doorway jumped back too at the sudden reaction, though none of them screamed. Sori let out a few loud, raspy coughs and attempted to recover himself, managing to sneak a “Oh... hi... Supra. Nice... to see you.” in between gasps.

“What was that for???” FrostFire exclaimed, grabbing Sori’s shoulder’s and shaking him violently.

“Hehe, sorryyyyyy. I was just—uhm, maybe don’t go in there?” Sori stared at Supra as he stepped inside the greenhouse, sweat dripping down his forehead.

“Sori.” Glacier tsked. “What have you been doing in here?”

“Well, uhm. I... uhhhhhhh...” Sori’s voice trailed off from Supra’s hearing as he stared at the shelf in front of him. All 10 vials of fertiliser, and all fifteen of his plant samples. Sitting in an enclosed shelf. Thriving.

...Supra didn’t really know what to think.

“I thought you told Supra that you had taken care of those things?” Glacier eyed Sori, catching on to what Supra was staring at and basically voicing one of Supra’s biggest concerns. “As in, threw them out carefully and thoroughly.”

“I—ugh.” Sori groaned, now having been caught. “I... When I found out what Supra’s experiment had been about, I got curious and wanted to continue it for him. Ah, well, more so for me. Definitely, actually.” Sori breathed through his teeth. “Saying it aloud, it sounds really inconsiderate of me given all the circumstances that surround it. ...Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Supra answered back, coming back to his senses.

“...Are you sure?” Sori asked. “Is it really okay?”

Supra stepped up towards the glass, not needing to touch anything as the cabinet door was already open. There were three shelves, the top containing the celestial plants as is, the middle containing the plants with their natural fertiliser and the bottom containing grasses with the different fertilisers being used on them. Just from looking, there were some expected changes such as altered colour and some unexpected changes such as the fungi that seemed to grow out of one particular specimen (which Sori had made the smart decision to isolate from the rest of the specimens. Supra noticed the notebook off to the side of the cabinet, catching a glimpse of the multitude of notes that Sori had written about the progress on the plants.

He couldn’t help but smile fondly.

“This isn’t exactly the type of setup that I would use for the experiment – of course, you already saw my version – but it’s not poorly made either. I’m impressed.” Supra commented honestly. “I would suggest actually removing the grass specimen growing spores, as well as the plant specimens that the fertiliser originated from. I’m not sure if you’ve researched the spores yet but I would advise you to remain cautious.”

“...I was actually working on a separate chamber when you guys came in.” Sori pointed to another corner of the greenhouse, where a small, cube-shaped container made with glass and an installed humidifier and thermometer. “I was also considering on using your lab, Supra, but I didn’t really think you wanted me in there in the probable chance that I’d mess with something so—

—Wait, wait, wait – you’re really, actually okay with me working on this experiment?”

“I’ll repeat myself again – yes.”

“You’re not at least a little bothered by the fact that I’m working on it? I heard that you were planning to redo the experiment only recently, but by then I was already working on it and I had failed to tell you about it prior to starting because, you know.” Sori was sceptical – Supra typically scolded him for working on things without logging them or telling him first. “Are you not even at least bothered by the fact that I’ve been lying to you about doing what you told me to? At least not eluding to what was actually going on?”

“Oh, I’m definitely annoyed by that.” Sori felt a weight drop on his head at the blunt response. “Did you really find telling me unnecessary?”

“NO, no!” Sori panicked, shaking his head profusely. “The experiment just didn’t mean too much to me other than the fact that they’re plants. So... yeah, I guess it did feel unnecessary... Though it begs the question—

Why did you choose to do this as you experiment? Aren’t you usually more focused on, like, I don’t know, chemicals and metals and stuff? Or maybe like improving equipment for our missions?”

“I chose to do it as a throwaway project, really. To give me something a little more... calming to focus on.” Supra hummed. Thinking back, he could somewhat get why Sori thought that doing the experiment would bother him aside from the basic lying. But he didn’t really find any reason to be bothered by the experiment. Sure, he was uncomfortable in the lab, and especially in the cleaning chamber, but the experiment itself didn’t have much impact. “If anything.” Supra continued. “I believe the experiment is more suited to you. Even though it is boring, you have more knowledge in the area – less of a chance to have problems go from bad to worse. I had other tests and reviews scheduled, of course, but I wasn’t in the right mood or mind to be thinking about missions at the time.”

“…That’s my fault, isn’t it?”

“…What?” Supra asked. FrostFire and Glacier shared a look.

“For you not really being there mentally like you usually are – that’s because of me, right?” Sori clarified.

“I’m sorry, Supra.”

“Sori, it’s not necessarily your fault—”

“Just, shut up for a second. Please.” Sori held a hand up in Supra’s face, looking him dead in the eyes to make sure he got the message before dropping everything—his hand, his gaze, his confidence. “I… You said that it wasn’t necessarily my fault – so, deep down, some part of you knows that I caused all of this mental distress you’ve been going through. I’m really, really sorry for that. Sure, the entire point of this was for you to gain a deeper understanding of emotions, but from a purely fact-based perspective it obviously isn’t some one-and-done topic. As Ori’s elementals and fusions, it is obvious that we all have a tendency to spiral or read the room negatively when it comes to our own performance – it was only inevitable that you’d go down that same path too, whether we had those lessons or not. No matter how logical or illogical the situation was, we’re inclined to think it’s our fault. Even then, I did influence your perceptions. But, I suppose the worst thing I did of all was ignore the signs you were displaying when we went to meet Beliung. I saw that you were troubled – that something was bothering you which delved deeper than just frustration from experiments not going the way you hypothesised or losing important documents – and yet I didn’t properly address it. If I had just pried, maybe what had happened to you over the past week could have been avoided. We could have worked through this together.

So, yeah - I know that the repetition is annoying, and I know that you're not blind... but you really need to know that I’m sorry.”

Supra stared at Sori, the Light-Leaf fusion turning to stare at the plants once the silence had settled in.

Was Sori at fault?

No. At the end of the day, it was a topic both were willing to research and delve into. At the end of the day, no one could have predicted that Supra would be summoned ‘so soon’ (though, at the same time, not soon enough). At the end of the day, what happened had happened and this is where they were now.

At the end of the day...

“We’re sorry, too.” Glacier admitted quietly, FrostFire nodding too. "We're your older siblings, and although you tell us that you're 'perfectly capable on your own' and 'we don't have to feel responsible for you', acting like brothers and caring for each other should not be a responsibility. It should be normal between all of us. I get called the 'Mama' between us - though mainly by Sori - so at least I should have been around more. Uh, well, I guess I'm never particularly busy, but that doesn't excuse it. You don't have to feel inclined to only share the good - you can share the bad, too. And that goes for everyone."

"So, like, don't hesitate to be honest with us." FrostFire followed up, his gaze near pleading. "Even if you write on a piece of paper instead of telling us directly.

Let's be here for each other, alright?"

...everything was going to be okay.

Coming to this conclusion, Supra did something he hardly ever did. Wel, maybe more often as of recent, but he had yet to share this moment with his actual siblings.

Tugging Glacier and FrostFire with one arm and pulling Sori in with the other, he initiated a hug. Expectedly, noises of surprise had left all three of his siblings when he caught them off guard with the sudden move, but just as quickly as it arrived, the feeling of awkwardness and surprise left—leaving behind a warm feeling Supra was starting to get a bit more accustomed to as the days moved past slowly. Eventually, the squeezing feeling got noticeably firmer and there were small comments and complaints accompanied by the amused laughter of their oldest sibling. He should hang around them more often. Everyone, for that matter.

…One step at a time, Supra.

“I’m lucky to have you all.”

Supra gasped as the white light faded, revealing tables and chairs and surrounded by lush green grass and shady, cool trees in which fragments of light filtered through the gaps. The sky was devoid of clouds and radiated in a deep blue – something that the sky in the watch realm could never match. The same could be said for the way the breeze seemed to wash a calm over him, really tying everything together. Despite never having been here before, it gave off a welcoming and almost homey vibe like he had always lived here.

To be able to appreciate the real world like this without much care in the world? What a luxury.

When Supra had brought up considering meeting with Ori, now having been two days since he had spent time with Solar, Halilintar and his brothers, the Fusions were of course accepting but not without unnecessarily taking Supra to the base Elementals to have a chat about how he should not feel worried about travelling to the real world.

(Supra had no problem with the mode of transport – he had seen everyone come and go plenty of times whether urgently or leisurely. The stories that were coupled alongside their travels and adventures always held the same sentiment too – that, no matter how bad the world can get, there will always be some beauty held within it.)

And Supra really had to be there to believe it. Not like he didn't believe anyone to begin with - but he had only ever seen destruction surrounding him.

Supra looked at his feet, planted to the ground.

So, for now, he just stood where he was and turned in place to admire the view from there.

When he got a good look at what exactly was behind him, he couldn’t help but feel… everything.

There it was.

Tok Aba’s Kokotiam.

And, of course, it wasn’t complete without the gang.

However, they didn’t really seem as ‘elated’ as Supra himself was feeling.

Qually and Gopal made no attempt to hide their clear fear of the overpowered fusion. Fair enough, but also – rude.

Ying, Ochobot and Tok Aba were kinder about it with smiles and short greetings sent his way, but their furrowed brows and jagged movements told a different story which better matched what Gopal and Qually felt.

Yaya and Fang were the most… sincere. Their smiles and greetings were matching of their usual character, but rather than a forced happy they seemed to be masking more of a… solemn demeanour. Like they felt sorry for him.

And, lastly—

…

“BoBoiBoy.”

For some reason, Supra couldn’t look Ori in the eyes.

“Supra.”

Fin~