Chapter Text
the skibidi harbingers
6:38 PM
[ 4 people are online! ]
Columbina: woooooimbouttamakeanameformyselfyea
Arlecchino: help she hasnt stopped
do NAWT take her to the movies
Scaramouche: retweet
how are you just now figuring this out
shes worse than lone when it comes to talking
Columbina: kill urself boyfucker
Sandrone: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
Scaramouche: what did i do
i spoke facts and truth
Sandrone: ok firecracker
Columbina: LMFAOOO
i was gonna say stormfront
u lucky sandy beat me to it
Scaramouche: i hate you and your stupid hairbows
you think your coquette? no youre a cockrat fuck off
Sandrone: zont zew it
Arlecchino: scara…
ur the cocksucker here
Scaramouche: FUCK OFF
Columbina: or fuck on
cuz last i saw u were still speaking to a certain sumeran..
Scaramouche: BRO PLEASE WHAT DO YOU WANT
Arlecchino: wait
u ACTUALLY have a relationship????
Sandrone: holy shit thats hard to believe
Scaramouche: sandrone you can NOT be speaking.
youre quite literally the definition of a femcel.
Sandrone: 😞
Scaramouche: and so what if i do have a relationship? it cant be that hard to believe
Arlecchino: 😬
u have no idea how hard it is to believe that u r ACTUALLY being liked by someone
Scaramouche: kys
Columbina: HEY 👿
Sandrone: hi 👋🏻
Scaramouche: SHUT THE FUCK UP I CAN HEAR THOSE FUCJING SPIDER LEGS COMING UP THE STAIRS IM NOT LETTING UOU IN SANDRONE.
[ Pantalone is now online! ]
Pantalone: bina i ate those brownies in the butterfly fridge. i’m just letting you know.
Columbina: oh no
theyll kick in shortly
Pantalone: what?
columbina.
Arlecchino: oh
@capitano
[ Capitano is now online! ]
Capitano: what cabrón
Columbina: i need u for a trip sit
Capitano: ????
im not fucking tripsitting u
u have arle for that not me
Sandrone: no no
its for someone else
Pantalone: what the fuck did you put in the brownies? also what is a “tripsit”?
Scaramouche: youll see very shortly
Capitano: oh
OH
baby what exactly did u eat from the fridge
also which fridge
Pantalone: i had some brownies from that fridge with the purple butterflies on it. why?
Capitano: HOW MANY DID U EAT???
Pantalone: ????
like 5. i really don't think it's this big of a problem.
Columbina: oh that trips going to be bad..
Scaramouche: womp womp
Capitano: im coming dw
[ Capitano is now offline! ]
Columbina: such a dutiful man!
u really trained him well lonie
Pantalone: should i be worried?
what exactly did i eat?
Arlecchino: u ate binas shroom brownies
Pantalone: ??
what is that?
Scaramouche: did you eat anything before the brownies
Pantalone: not since breakfast. seriously what is going on.
Sandrone: u r about to experience the birth of teyvat
Pantalone: ???
oh caps here!
bye!
Scaramouche: hes actually so fucked
Columbina: i know 😞
but not as fucked as ur asshole
when were u going to tell us u were still getting buttfucked by sethos
Scaramouche: ?????
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT???
Sandrone: 1 2 skip a few ahh texts
Columbina: that one time u brought him to the palace and u guys were really loud
[ The Tsaritsa is now online! ]
The Tsaritsa: can confirm
[ The Tsaritsa is now offline! ]
Scaramouche: shes actually my fucking opp.
Arlecchino: thats the mf with the bug eyes right
yikes…
Sandrone: retweet
Scaramouche: FYM BUG EYES???
HE DOESNT HAVE BUG EYES WHAT??
Columbina: yikes struck a nerve there huh
Scaramouche: why are you guys being mean to him
its not his fault he looks like that
Sandrone: SO U AGREE HES GOT BUGEYES???
Scaramouche: 😞
he makes me laugh.
Columbina: LMFAO DAWG..
Pantalone: hhhhlp
[ Capitano is now online! ]
Capitano: that shit kicked in too quickly
Arlecchino: and ur just letting him have his phone???
twin take that shit awayy
Capitano: hes harmless
Columbina: has he never done shrooms before???
Capitano: why the fuck would he do shrooms bina.
Scaramouche: literally
the worst hes done is weed and he threw up after that one
Columbina: 😞
Pantalone: b
Arlecchino: bina this is ur fault
Columbina: HOW IS THIS MY FAULT HE ATE THEM NOT ME????
Capitano: where did the letter go that was on the butterfly fridge saying it had edibles
Sandrone: oh
ttore took that shit
Columbina: ????
WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE DO THAT????
Sandrone: idk hes freaky
Scaramouche: an elderly blind man could tell you that.
Capitano: hes tripping balls
he said that he can see khanrieah
Arlecchino: ooooouu hes fucked uppp
do i need to come over
Capitano: FFFFFFFFFFFFUCK no
Columbina: more for me
😈
Arlecchino: ?????
Sandrone: i think bina has ulterior motives
Scaramouche: nooo what makes you say that
youre supposed to be one of the smarter harbingers USE YOUR FUCKING BRAIN
Columbina: our smartest members!!!
number 1 dottore
number 2 sandrone
number 3 pantalone
and hes tripping balls rigjt mow!
Capitano: imma trip u down the fucking stairs leave him alone.
Arlecchino: chill bruh hes all urs
Pantalone: b
Columbina: awww look hes speaking
Pantalone: bug
Columbina: ?
Capitano: ignore
Columbina: omg cap guess what
Capitano: what
on EVERYONES soul if u say chicken butt imma beat yo ass
Columbina: chicken butt!
oh
please no
but seriously i have news
SCARAMOUCHE HAS A BOYFRIEND!!!!!
Capitano: how the fuck????
thats a joke right
Scaramouche: KILL YOURSELF????
Capitano: no but seriously how tf u pull that off??
ur actually the most unlikable mf here
the ONLY 4 people that fw u r bina sandy ttore and childe and that really says something
Columbina: 😞
why am i catching strays
Capitano: deserved
Scaramouche: ok binas not THAT bad
the other three are fucking terrible
i do NOT know how i attracted those fiends
Capitano: still
i actually cant believe it without photo evidence of what this man looks like
Sandrone: check dms
Capitano: TWIN THIS DUDE GOT THAT LEAD PAINT STARE
LMAOOO
u really said “he makes me laugh” and fuckin RAN with ts
dios mio he looks worse and dumber than rostam
Scaramouche: NOT EVERYONE CAN DATE A FUCKING OFFICE SIREN.
Sandrone: awwww u think lonies an office siren how cute
Scaramouche: KILL YOURSELF SANDRONE I WONT SAY IT AGAIN
Sandrone: 🙂↔️
Arlecchino: bina i miss u
😽
Columbina: i missu moreeeee 😽😽😽😽
Scaramouche: you both make me sick.
Arlecchino: fuck any relationship with u is probably toxic anyways
Scaramouche: ohhhh you are one to talk!!!
Sandrone: munches on popcorn
Capitano: stfu im watching ts
Pantalone: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrrn
Sandrone: ???
Capitano: dont question him
Arlecchino: scara mad cuz hes got that fuckass haircut
like damn id be mad too
Scaramouche: ok rattails who actually gaf?
Arlecchino: ok ripoff
Scaramouche: no parents?
Arlecchino: no motherly love?
no mommy to cry to?
Scaramouche: LISTEN HERE SHITHEAD
Arlecchino: oh i struck a nerve huh
Scaramouche: not really
cant care if shes a puppet with a bitchy attitude
Arlecchino: sounds QUITE a bit like a purple haired harbinger
have u ever thought of the fact that u look like a project sekai character
Sandrone: this gets brought up every argument istg
Capitano: and it works everytime
Scaramouche: SHE LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE FUCKING ASTUSHI FROM BSD I DONT WANT TO FUCKING HEAR IT FROM HER
Arlecchino: I DONG FUCKING LOOK LIKE THAT TWINK
Sandrone: hehehe
dong
Capitano: on everything i want sandy to die
Columbina: retweet
Sandrone: U TOO????
😞
Pantalone: mm
Capitano: mm
Scaramouche: wtf
Columbina: shhhh theyre communicating
Arlecchino: hes gone
rip
Sandrone: like how im going to RIP my pants when i fart 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Scaramouche: GET OUTTTTTT
Capitano: retweet because what yhe fuck was that
on EVERYONES soul but mine sandy will NOT make it through the night
Pantalone: 🪲