Chapter Text
These days, the court of Teyvat is overrun with a large crowd of suitors.
Will it be the lucky year for Lord Neuvillette, who is beginning his fourth unsuccessful marriage season? Or will his cousin, Lord Zhongli, fare better, despite still not showing any intention of taking a wife or husband?
The author of this article, frankly, doubts it. Just as he doubts anyone will be patient enough to tolerate the snubs of Lord AlHaitham for the next three months. It’s said that the number of suitors he drove away last year alone exceeds fifty.
We’ll just have to wait for the opening of the social season with Queen Furina’s ball to see how things unfold.
Someone also whispered to the author that the Fatui family might return to town after many years. Will they still be as penniless as before, or has the air of Snezhnaya finally covered them in riches from head to toe?
From: Lord Irminsul’s Society Papers April 7, 1814
***
Court of Teyvat, Palais Mermonia.
"Ahaha! This man is a real riot!" remarked Queen Furina as she held the latest copy of Lord Irminsul, the most notorious scandal and gossip newspaper in Teyvat. "He really has something for everyone!"
No one knew the true identity of the author, but that was precisely what made it so much fun to read his chronicles. Every time printed copies of Lord Irminsul were distributed, the entire city hurried to catch up on the latest gossip.
Queen Furina, in particular, had a great passion for these updates. Sitting in the parlor of her palace in the city, she sipped hot tea from a cup while avidly reading those words. Her long white hair was styled in an elaborate chignon, ready for the ball she would host that evening.
Her lips curved into an amused smile. It had been a long time since anything interesting happened, and the return of the Fatui undoubtedly promised an unusual season. Finally, the court of Teyvat would no longer be occupied by the same old faces.
Neuvillette, the faithful judge and court advisor, sighed slightly before picking up another copy of the newspaper.
Neuvillette was fully aware that the Fatui had been exiled due to the fraud committed years before by Signora, an influential member of the family. However, they had now served their sentence, and it wasn’t fair for all the family members to still be punished for the actions of just one of them. Therefore, although he was slightly alarmed, he was genuinely curious to get to know them better.
Furina, for her part, seemed simply thrilled by this breath of fresh air. She welcomed any change with almost excessive cheerfulness, often complaining about the boredom that reigned supreme at court.
"Is Lord Irminsul talking about you again? You must be one of his favorites!" Furina remarked, amused.
"Are we sure it’s about favoritism? Lord Irminsul does nothing but emphasize how unmarried I am," Neuvillette replied with a hint of sarcasm. "And he’s certainly no kinder to Zhongli."
Zhongli, his cousin, sitting with them in the parlor, gave a brief laugh.
"You’ll agree, though, cousin, that Lord Irminsul isn’t wrong," Zhongli commented, lifting his eyes from the newspaper. "Four failed marriage seasons are quite a lot. We should have expected such a comment."
Zhongli and Neuvillette were the last members of the Dragon family. However, they were physically very different, except for their height: Neuvillette had long white and blue hair, while Zhongli's was dark, often tied in a low ponytail.
For a long time, they had enjoyed vast amounts of wealth from their lineage. However, over the years, they had lost much of it. In particular, after the war against Celestia, much of their estates were destroyed, and their possessions were looted. Zhongli, in particular, moved from Liyue to Fontaine several years before, after his country was mostly destroyed by Celestia as well and waited for renovation.
For this reason, the Dragon family now had to make do with the savings accumulated in the past and earn their living through ordinary salaries.
Zhongli was managing the libraries of Teyvat, while Neuvillette had become the court judge.
They were still good matches, but they had refused to marry for several years. This behavior had begun to raise suspicions among the Teyvat community, so used to seeing people throw themselves into the marriage market that they couldn’t understand their behavior.
"This only happens because you two bachelors insist on playing hard to get. You are both handsome men from a good family, despite everything. You certainly aren’t lacking in suitors," Furina joked as she paired macarons with her tea to finish her snack. "However, your reluctance is starting to cause some discontent. There must be someone you like, or are you implying that my court is populated only by unpleasant people?"
"You know how I feel, Your Majesty," said Zhongli respectfully, without hiding his opinion. "I don’t intend to marry without love, and at the moment, I haven’t experienced it."
As much as it might sound like an excuse, Zhongli was entirely sincere. He had many friends, but he had never fallen in love. The same people were always around at court, and it wasn’t possible for him to fall in love with them after so long, having already considered them simply acquaintances or very good friends. He could have traveled, of course, to change his situation; however, he first stopped due to the war and later, unfortunately, became too busy working.
He was aware that a love like the ones described in the books he loved to read was rare, but he was equally convinced that it could exist. Many of his friendships were proof of this: his cousin Ping was in love with Lady Guizhong to the point that they had been traveling together for over two years. They had embarked on a Grand Tour around Teyvat, absorbed in their affection, leaving the management of the household to Zhongli. They would probably return soon when they were ready to adopt a child, as was customary in Teyvat when the couple consisted of two people of the same gender.
Court marriages served this purpose as well: to provide homes for the many orphans left by the Celestia war. The state’s maintenance costs would have been unsustainable if they had to support them all. For this reason, people were free to have biological children in a marriage between a man and a woman or to adopt in the case of a couple made up of two men or two women.
In this regard, Zhongli was quite concerned; he didn’t believe he would be a bad father, but how could he think of raising a child with someone he wasn’t in love with? If he married someone he argued with or had a bad relationship with, his children would suffer too. Moreover, he wanted to reach a state of mental peace and happiness to give them all the time and support possible.
Zhongli was quite firm in these convictions, and he knew well that Neuvillette shared the same opinion. His cousin hadn’t married for similar reasons: he was very busy with his work and often barely had time to think about his feelings. Being a judge had made him impartial, and as a result, he dedicated less time to personal relationships.
Neuvillette had been working long before they lost so much money, but not at the pace he was forced to now.
"Well, in that case... if you’re so free while you wait for your true love to come along, you could do me a favor," Furina suggested with a dazzling smile.
"Should I be worried, Your Majesty?" Zhongli asked, allowing himself the slightly playful tone that the sovereign had long encouraged, having grown close to him during their many teas.
"Not at all. You’ll just have to act as a chaperon. More or less," the queen explained, outlining her plan in a cheerful tone. "For a handsome young man. He needs help reintegrating into society and a discreet tour of the court after spending so much time in Snezhnaya."
"...oh. Are you perhaps talking about a member of the Fatui family?" Zhongli guessed, raising an eyebrow slightly. "Do you think my company could benefit him?"
The idea, frankly, seemed less terrible than expected. He enjoyed being a guide: he loved showing off the wonders of the area, talking about local legends, recommending books from the library, or visiting good restaurants.
He had already given a tour to Aether and Lumine, two young friends who had come from afar the previous year, completely new to the court of Teyvat. They had spent the days chatting, losing themselves in long conversations and carefree moments.
Doing the same favor for a Fatui couldn’t be that different, after all. He had heard all the bad rumors possible about that family, but Zhongli believed they should not be deprived of courtesy and hospitality. They weren’t to blame for what Signora had done, and it wasn’t fair that they were still being excluded from Teyvat’s society. They had already been stuck for too long in the distant court of Snezhnaya, isolated by the cold and harsh weather. Some of them weren’t even adults when they were exiled.
Besides, helping a new visitor would spare Zhongli from the torture of attending yet another unsuccessful ball, where he found every possible excuse to avoid suitors.
“Exactly. You’ll be meeting their heir, Lord Tartaglia. His titles have been restored for now. Let’s hope they manage to hold onto them this time,” Furina smiled.
“What kind of person is he?” Neuvillette, who had been following the conversation thoughtfully, asked, perhaps wondering why he hadn’t been assigned a task yet.
“He’s a young man of about twenty-six, with a lively demeanor. You’ll like him, Lord Zhongli, don’t worry. He has a very pleasant appearance and character,” Furina reassured him before adopting a sly expression that made him uneasy. “But I’ll need to ask you another favor.”
“...Please, I’m at your service,” Zhongli murmured, worried, waiting to hear the rest.
“Accompany him to a couple of balls. Be seen around with him, in fact, quite a lot, so that Lord Irminsul can gossip as much as possible about your relationship,” Furina said, making him startle. What was she insinuating? Was he supposed to pretend to court him? That was completely out of the question! Zhongli certainly hadn’t agreed to this with that in mind! “I spoke with the Tsaritsa, the representative of the Fatui family,” Furina explained, shrugging. “She asked me for a small favor in exchange for the support of their kingdom.”
Upon hearing the mention of the Tsaritsa, Zhongli fell silent. The figure of that woman was nothing short of legendary. She had saved many lives during the Celestia war; for that reason, it had been a real shame that the Fatui were exiled for a time, after the great help the Tsaritsa had provided. Unfortunately, the laws had been inflexible. “The Fatui need a little push to be accepted back into society. I want to avoid any uprisings,” Furina explained.
“And…how could my involvement help them in this regard?” Zhongli wondered, shaking his head. “Your Majesty, I…don’t think I can court someone in such a deceptive manner. Besides, I don’t even know this Lord Tartaglia you speak of.”
“You don’t have to marry him, Lord Zhongli, don’t get so worked up,” Furina cut him off, chuckling as she saw his concern before becoming more serious. “It’s just that you’re a bachelor, so…you could spend time with him freely and provide him with a positive influence. People will believe that Lord Tartaglia is a good match if they see him with someone influential like you,” Furina continued, softening her tone. “Also, Lord Zhongli, aren’t you happy? This way, you can avoid attending other unpleasant balls for a while.”
“Is Lord Tartaglia aware of this?” Zhongli asked, concerned. “I would never want to toy with his feelings. What if he becomes attached to me?”
He didn’t even know the face of the man they were discussing, but talking about him as if he were merely part of a political contract seemed downright terrible. Lord Tartaglia was arriving after an exile; he was likely already burdened by the weight of his reputation before even arriving. How could Zhongli deceive him on an emotional level? By behaving this way, wouldn’t he also prevent him from finding a husband or wife he truly liked?
“Oh, yes. He’s aware of it. Don’t worry about that,” Furina reassured him, making him sigh in relief. It would just be an agreement, then. A simple agreement of convenience was much better than deception. “Spend just a couple of weeks with him, and then you can always let Lord Irminsul believe that you’ve lost touch.”
“When will he arrive?” Neuvillette asked a few moments later.
“Oh, Lord Tartaglia has already arrived!” Furina concluded cheerfully. “Ready for Zhongli! I can invite him here right away!”
Zhongli took a moment to process the information. A small part of him was relieved by the clarity of the agreement, but there was still a knot of concern in his heart. He wasn’t accustomed to getting involved in such schemes, but if this could prevent further discomfort and at the same time contribute to a just cause, he would accept.
“Very well, Your Majesty. I will be happy to help Lord Tartaglia reintegrate into Teyvat’s society,” Zhongli finally replied, rising to his feet with a bow. “I just hope this can truly lead to greater mutual understanding and acceptance.”
Furina nodded with a satisfied smile. “I’m certain it will make a difference, Lord Zhongli. And as for you, Lord Neuvillette,” the queen said, taking a newspaper from the table and handing it to him. “Here, take a look. There’s a convict who seems to have escaped from prison, and I’d like you to pay attention to this case. His name is Wriothesley.”
*****
It is said that the eldest of the Fatui, Mr. Pierro, is at least a thousand years old. Clearly, that’s a joke, but the gentleman in question could at least dye his white beard, for heaven’s sake!
As for the other scions of the unfortunate house, long absent from our court, the author can only express admiration for their attire. The style of Snezhnaya is truly unique; Lady Columbina's outfits are genuine masterpieces.
What astonishes the author of this article the most, however, is that Lord Tartaglia is still unmarried. Do the people of Snezhnaya not have functioning eyes, by any chance?
From: Lord Irminsul's Society Paper, April 7th, 1814
*****
Court of Teyvat, Hotel Debord
“I’m supposed to going aroung with a... old Lord?” Ajax asked, shocked, as he listened to the plan concocted by the rest of his family.
Everything they had just proposed to him was nothing short of absurd. He was supposed to pretend to court a local nobleman to give a good impression of the Fatui name at court. The rest of his family was either married or engaged, so the choice had inevitably fallen on him.
He, who had never wanted to marry, who loved to travel, fight, and change locations whenever he had the chance, now had to engage in social activities like balls and courtships. It was ridiculous.
He missed his homeland more than ever, despite everything. Despite the cold, despite the hardships and the harsh weather, Snezhnaya was his home. Snezhnaya was made of ice and snow, but it was also warm fireplaces and glowing embers, hot tea in hand, snowmen, and endless forests stretching as far as the eye could see. It was playing snowball fights with his younger siblings, racing across frozen lakes as adrenaline surged through him. But now, all of that was far away. Now he found himself here, in Fontaine, the center of Teyvat’s court, having to play a part that felt completely foreign to him.
He adjusted the collar of his blue shirt, while his uncle, Pantalone, chuckled with amusement, a hint of sadism in his tone. His husband, Dottore, smirked as well.
“Lord Zhongli isn’t old at all! He’s a handsome man and at most four years older than you. Anyway,” Pantalone explained, before narrowing his eyes with a sly expression, “...does it really matter? Remember why you’re supposed to court him. It will be short and painless if you steal as well as you usually do.”
“Indeed. Revenge is a dish best served cold. And these people must pay. Even if it means stealing... what matters most to the bachelor of the court,” Dottore explained, shrugging. His red eyes were filled with anger, despite his seemingly calm smile. “And besides, he knows you’re only pretending to court him,” he reminded him.
“Exactly! He just doesn’t know why,” Pantalone couldn’t help but chuckle, pleased with himself.
“And besides, that newspaper of theirs... what’s it called? Oh, right, Lord Irminsul... it even called you handsome. Maybe Lord Zhongli’ll fall at your feet and hand over that silver clock right away,” Dottore speculated, satisfied.
At those words, Ajax snapped out of it. He couldn’t be selfish, after all.
The Tsaritsa needed them. Needed that object.
He prepared to leave, heading to court accompanied by his uncles, Pantalone and Arlecchino, along with Dottore, who was now practically a member of the family.
Even though spending time with that Lord Zhongli would be a bore, he would do it.
He only hoped that this inconvenience would end as quickly as possible so he could return to Snezhnaya in peace.
Perhaps his relatives were eager to be at Teyvat’s court, but he, on the contrary, was already dying to leave.