Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There was an abrupt sense of resilience that had barged in and made its home within Kel’s chest. Looking down in languish, he kicked ripples into the water. Where did this hesitation come from? 

After losing three close friends to suicide Kel felt the selfish obligation to fall in line. However, looking into the crystal blue lake of his childhood, he began to realize that might be a harder task than anticipated. The lukewarm water hugged his bare feet and forced Kel to remember Mari’s picnics, swimming with Hero, Sunny’s fear of water, and as recent as Aubrey's outburst before pushing Basil into this lake.

Aubrey and Hero... what would they think? Hero’s stuck in a state of despair again. Oddly, it’s depravity doesn't compare to when Mari died, not in the slightest. Surely because he’s matured and grown stronger, mentally. But would he be strong enough to handle the suicide of his baby brother? What if Aubrey decides to fall in line as well? take it as peer pressure, the same way Kel did. Or what if they both continue to live, but spend the rest of their lives traumatized? Well- they already are in a sense? The imagery of Mari, Basil, and Sunny’s bodies vividly flashed before his eyes, inducing these unbearable chills.

Okay, so they’re already traumatized. There’s no undoing that. Kel paused and leaned forward, ever so slightly. He knew how to swim. Kel was afraid attempting a suicide via drowning was foolish, wouldn’t his survival instinct kick in? Nails dug into the hardwood dock. Swimmers can still drown, it happens all the time… granted, it’s usually due to big waves and uncontrollable tides, but whatever. Kel nodded, leaning over the water, preparing to jump in. Yet still, he was wavering. 

“I have to do this...” he mumbled. But did he really? Did he have to? What was obliging him in the first place? These second thoughts began to overwhelm Kel and in a frustrated sigh he looked up at the sky and cried out,

“God give me a sign!” It came out more desperate than intended. He felt silly after the fact. He had never seriously asked God for anything, he couldn’t recall ever wanting something so bad. But at this moment, he wanted closure more than anything. Closure that could stop this itching feeling.

The wind began to pick up. It was subtle at first, but then its harshness whipped at Kel’s arms, tangled itself in his mangy hair, and moved the calm lake water in an unrecognizable pattern. Was this a sign? It could’ve been coincidence, wind isn’t exactly rare. But for it to pick up exactly after his plea.. and what did this ‘sign’ even mean? Should he jump or not?

Kel looked down at the lake, it was slowly beginning to form waves. That was sign enough, he did not attempt to interpret it any other way.  Teetering over the edge he let his weight do the falling. Just as his body tipped over the point of no return, that wind from before slapped him again.

A pair of clammy hands dug and pulled at Kel's ribs with a strength he’s never felt before. His eyes shot open; a gasp being involuntarily snatched from their cords. There were a series of movements that followed, but its sequence was too quick to process. As well as this blinding light, it stung his eyes upon opening them. Kel’s head was smacked against the dock. Attempting to rub away the pain, a creature caressed his shoulder, the cold touch so powerful, it froze every nerve in his terrified being. 

“There there,” the thing spoke in a whisper. How bright it was. It sat there on its knees in front of Kel, slowly touching his arm, methodically speaking affirmative words into his ear. He swore there was about a hundred eyes staring back at him, rings of electrical currents and wind being gusted at a high pressure. Terrifying, and yet, it felt so nice. Kel didn’t even realize how his breathing had calmed, how his muscles loosened, he didn’t realize how at peace he suddenly felt, it was almost unnatural. Like an artificial form of tranquility. 

The brightness died down. Once Kel could make out the glowing figure, his eyes widened. It was Basil. But he looked different? He looked beautiful. The boy's skin shone, emitting an aura of complete serenity. The once dirty blonde hair was replaced by an elegant gold, each strand seemingly dipped in the post liquified substance. His irises blended in with the whites of his eyes, a blue so clear it pierced the soul of anyone who looked into them. Most importantly, an undeniable pair of gray wings more than half the teen’s size. Each feather appeared so soft, the urge to touch them sparked in the back of his mind. 

“Basil…? Am I dead?” Kel whimpered out. Basil smiled ever so gently. There was never a moment the boy's smile, past or present, wasn't gentle. He looked so ethereal, Kel wanted to run away in fear. That kind of beauty was compelling. Then, slowly, the Angel in front of him shook his head.

“You are not dead. I cannot let that happen.” Was Basil’s voice always so soothing? This had to be a dream. “I know this must be confusing for you, but do not worry. You are alive, I am still dead. This is all real.” Basil wrapped some hair around his index finger and twirled it playfully. 

“This is all… real? Oh. Wow.” Kel was still dazed, hardly processing anything at all. But now he knew Basil was actually here, breathing and talking in front of him. Tears began to gnaw their way through Kel’s sockets. He couldn’t identify whether they were joyful or sad, but he was crying in a matter of seconds. Was it rude to touch an angel without asking? What is he talking about, this is Basil. Not some random angel. He embraced his childhood friend, sobbing into the crook of his neck. Arms made of steel attempted to comfort Kel, their cold touch slipping onto his back. Everything felt okay for a few minutes. Basil’s wings wrapped around them; they really were soft.

   —————————————————————

Walking side by side with his newfound guardian angel in the woods, Kel felt something he hadn’t in a while. He wasn’t sure if he could label it, but he was smiling, and his chest was warm. 

“I do have a few questions...”  At first, Kel had planned to ask Basil... Why he did it. But that felt like an uncomfortable conversation. So, he opted out for something easier to talk about. 

“I thought you would, ask away.” Basil replied, in this mesmerizing manner.

“How’s Sunny and Mari doing?” That felt safer. And he was curious, too. 

“Oh, they’re alright. Mari’s doing great actually, she’s really come to terms with death. Sunny’s a guardian angel like me now, so he’s been pretty busy.”

“Guardian angel for who?”

“Aubrey.” That made sense, he supposed.

“Do you get to choose?” Hummed Kel.

“Yes.” Basil nodded.

“Why’d you choose me?” The grass swayed audibly. Mildew was in the moist air somewhere; you could almost taste it. Despite the space around them falling silent, Kel didn't push. The lean boy waited with patience; eyes glued admirably in front on him.

“Well, I wanted to make up for… lost time. I believe I failed you as a friend.” Basil responded with a certain hesitance. That couldn’t be true, could it?

“Are you kidding? If anyone failed it was me-" a delicate finger pressed against his lips, and he ceased to speak. Basil had very politely shushed him. 

“It wasn’t your fault, okay? It was nobody’s but mine.” With that same hand he brushed through Kel’s hair. Kel almost melted. It was still just Basil, he had to remind himself. But he couldn’t get over the look in those glass eyes, an angel was quite literally stood in front of him. Pulling a noticeable gaze away from the holy being he hummed, turning to face the end of their hike. It was the entrance to the park.

“Can other people see you…?” He mumbled. Basil bit his lip and nodded yes. That would turn out to be quite the issue. 

“I wasn’t supposed to... become corporeal. I’m sure I’ll get in trouble once I return to-" Kel took his hand.

“Don’t leave. Please.” He asked, desperate. The mere idea of Basil going back to heaven- or whatever afterlife existed, it was disheartening. Those crystal-like eyes softened, he took Kel’s hand in return and thought about the situation. There was a pause.

“…You’ll have to hide me.” Basil whispered. Kel had never felt so fortunate in his life.

Chapter Text

There were so many places to start. Kel laid in his orange twin bed exasperated, the entire encounter still felt dream-like, despite being fresh in his mind. He felt as if a timer were ticking above his head, he had barely a second to truly relax. Yelling at his own tired muscles to get up he managed to flex them forward and stop slumping.  

First things first, where to hide Basil? For now, he left the boy behind a tree in their childhood ‘secret hideout’, however this act had its very prevalent risks. The spot wasn’t so secret. Aubrey knew about it, all her friends knew about it, and Hero knew about it. Now it’s rare they’d actually go there, but he needed a spot which was truly secret. Kel packed some old clothes-surely small enough to fit Basil-and an oversized sweater. They had to do something about those wings.

“Where are you headed...?” Hero asked from under his covers. He rubbed the exhaustion from his eyes. His side of the room was quite messy, books on the floor, an expired prescription bottle, some extra pillows…

“I’m going out for a jog, okay? I’ll be right back.” He swung the backpack over one shoulder and made his way towards the door, regrettably leaving Hero alone. He knew his older brother was worried about him, rightfully so. If it weren’t for Basil, he'd be laying at the bottom of a lake among the rocks like a dead fish. It didn't matter now, though. He made a quick pit stop at the laundromat. It was farther into town, only adding to the turmoil that was Kel’s mind. He looked at his watch, then the clock on the wall, then to the rowdy machine. Time always passes faster when you don’t want it to, right? Kel dropped his wrist and began focusing on the interior design of the place. The lines between the tiles were a grayish brown, like before you deep clean a kitchen, or bathroom. Obviously, the owners might try to cover up the fact they don’t care about this place with potted plants and a running TV, but Kel wasn’t exactly convinced. Spotting the stack of newspapers beside 5 white plastic chairs, an article from 1997 that read “factory fire in Massachusetts” was on top. 1997 was 4 whole years ago. In fact he remembered the exact incident being referenced, the factory bordered Faraway. It was 3 blocks away from this very laundromat. 

Speaking of which, the machine had stopped. When did the machine stop? Kel looked down at his watch. Only 2 minutes ago.

 Kel refrained from running, he felt as if he was smuggling a bomb into an airport at the moment. Any little look from any unsuspecting passersby would translate as a threat to Kel’s high-strung mind. Praying to the gods that brought Basil back from the dead, hoping no one would hinder his journey, nor take one behind the sea of trees which gated Faraway park. But of course, his luck would only wither with passing time, as that’s just how his life wrote itself. One good event followed by a crash of misfortune. A pink haired wreck skipped her way over to the ball of anxiety that was Kel at the moment, a half desperate look in her eyes. She stopped him, taking his upper arm in her rough hands. Each nail was noticeably chipped, the polish peeling off at a differing rate depending on the finger.

“Kel! I’ve been looking for you, why haven’t you responded to any of my messages?” She smiled but it was clearly forced. In all honesty Kel hadn’t seen any of her supposed messages, he hadn’t been online much since Sunny’s passing. Now however was not a good time to talk, it was horrible in fact. He felt bad for Aubrey, noticing how much she must be struggling, but there was a task at hand, and a timer over his head. 

“Sorry, I didn’t see them.” Maybe if he acted distant enough she’d give up. On him, that is.

“Okay well… look, I’m trying to be more open now, and- I don’t want to bottle things up anymore… I think we should… I think we should all… be there for each other…? I mean… ever since that day, the three of us haven’t talked. We haven’t checked in, or even hung out. For some reason, I’m the only one who thinks that’s… well… stupid?? Listen, all I’m asking is that we acknowledge each other again. I don’t understand why we stopped.” Kel understood why they stopped. Sunny was their glue, that’s why. He didn’t talk much, or do much either, but he was still, somehow, what brought them all together. The baby of the group, as Basil once said. Other than that Aubrey was right, and Kel agreed. But now just simply was not the time to talk.

“Okay… we can start hanging out again. I’m just sort of busy right now, how about another time?” He spoke with a slight impatience but covered it with understanding.

“Another time...? Okay, if you’re busy right now then... that’s fine. Here, how about this. Can... can we go to church together next Sunday? Maybe you could invite Hero too...?” She fidgeted with her hands, clawing the dirt from underneath her nails out. Church, right, her safe haven since forever now. Kel turned on his heel as to indicate the end of the conversation, not caring to think about the offer too much.

“That’d be nice, I’ll tell him, okay?” Aubrey nodded in appreciation, slowly walking backwards in the other direction.

“Okay! … thank you!” There was clearly a change in his once antsy friend. A slightly good one, of course.

     —————————————————————

“Here, this is much less eye catching than that robe of yours.” Kel handed his guardian a messily folded outfit, freshly washed, with a shirt cut to have two holes on the back. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable but… could you try this sweater on after? I’m not sure if it’ll work but it might hide your wings.” Basil took the pile of fabric, tilting his head in curiosity before looking around with an expressionless stare. 

“You want me to get changed?” He asked. Kel nodded,

“Just so you’ll stand out less…” he looked at the glittering blue robe wrapped around Basil like a present. It was nice to look at, sure, but he’d be easily spotted no matter where he’s kept.

“Oh.. alright.” His fingers proceeded to dig into the fur coated knot holding together his attire, “look away, please.” Kel complied; he directed his eyes towards the opposite direction. A strange warm feeling returned to him, but he ignored it. There was an awkward silence filled by ruffling fabric and occasional breaths. After a concerning amount of time, Basil broke it. 

“Ah, Kel, my wings are stuck…” Kel turned to see Basil with his back faced towards him, wings only halfway through their entrance. Immediately sorry, Kel took one in two hands and pulled it fully through.

“My bad! I tried to estimate how big they needed to be, but I guess I underestimated, I’ll fix it don’t worry-” Basil suddenly purred, lowly from the back of his throat. Kel felt his friend shudder from head to toe; instinctively causing his hands to run away. One wing was now free, the other was not. Basil turned his head with reluctance,

“Um, it’s okay, that... doesn’t mean anything- Anything bad.” He raised the shoulder aligned with his trapped wing, “ha-ha..?” Kel blinked a few times then snapped back into action,

“Right. Sorry.” But for some reason the reaction hadn’t left his mind. “Did you want to try the sweater…?”

“…No.”

          ———————————————————

About a half an hour later, Kel was back at home. He set eyes on his brother in the kitchen, making a pot of mac and cheese. It was the easiest thing to make, and Hero often liked to dissociate as he stirred the pot. The warm mushy sound of the cheese as the wooden spoon pushed against it filled Kel’s senses and he leaned over the counter happily watching his big bro.

“You want…?” The (slightly) taller guy asked. 

“Of course.” The two stood in silence for a bit. Kel recalled an earlier conversation among the mess of things he did today and opened his mouth to address it, “Aubrey invited us to go to church with her.”

“Oh… we have been neglecting her quite a bit, haven't we?” Hero sulked over his pot. It was clear he hadn’t meant to.

“Yea… I guess we should go.” He tapped a fingertip against the countertop. “Call me when it’s done.” Kel then walked hurriedly up the stairs, entering the mess he called a room. Like a magnet the bed pulled him down face first. Letting out a heavy sigh he had the weight of his limbs drag him deeper into the mattress. Relief now covered Kel like a veil of mist. Basil was now being kept in the aftermath of the factory fire; It was abandoned, secluded, there were walls. It was perfect. Surely safe.

“Your mac and cheese…” when did Hero enter? 

“Thank you.” Kel replied, taking the warm bowl in his hands. 

Now it was fairly late when he and Basil snuck their way through town, and into the raggedy building, but it was by no means pitch dark. The treacherous journey through woodlands and behind structures had lasted quite a bit, Kel couldn’t help but worry, what if someone saw? Each bite of home cooked cheese goop aided in his soothing just a little, but it wasn’t enough. Kel stood behind Basil the whole time, but there was a single instance, a small hiccup, where the blubbering fool had absent-mindedly stopped walking, and Basil hadn’t. Actually... that was a handful of times. Maybe more than five. Kel was quite tired, undoubtably worn. Why bear the blame? mistakes happen. On the off chance someone saw something, what difference would it make?

The front door clicked open, an indicator one of his parents had arrived. Kel walked to the top of the stairs and peered down to see both had actually come home. 

“Hero! how are you, mijo?” The stout woman cupped Hero’s face with a smile. She pressed the man's cheeks with an overflowing amount of love, clear enough for everyone to see.

“Fine, mama.” He replied, repressing a smile. His father set down the car keys on the kitchen counter along with a few bags of groceries. Upon spotting Kel at the top of the stairs he pointed him out and motioned him to come down. Kel sighed, already knowing the drill. 

“Well, you’ll never believe what we heard while at the grocery. Me and your father talked with those people next door. The one's in miss Suzuki's old home? Some science people, I don't know. They’ve found feathers in Faraway that match perfectly with some long lost... extinct bird. I don’t know. Y también- also, there’s been sightings of this thing, with huge wings. Isn’t that exciting?”

“Sounds terrifying.” Hero chuckled. 

Kel was frozen. That was beyond terrifying. He promptly shut the fridge door,

“I’m sorry, I just remembered I made plans with a friend, can I go?” Kel flashed his brightest smile.

“What? No. We’re having dinner. Together. You know that.” that was a thing his mother was very adamant about. Eating always had to be done together; it was superstition at this point. She hadn't always been such a control freak, sometimes people just lose themselves. In this case, her insecurity had made her fragile over the years. Kel was always observant about these things, in lieu of his family, who was never quite observant over him. 

“I’m not hungry, Hero made me food earlier, right Hero?” The mama's boy turned his head.

“Uhm, it wasn’t that much. Also, you ate that over an hour ago.” An hour? Jeez, time really does fly. 

“See? It was just a… a appetizer. You will have dinner with your family tonight.” Kel bit his tongue. Her tone of voice angered him with its wicked familiarity.

“well you haven’t made it yet… can’t I go out real quick and come back?”

“No.”

“Why not??” He took a step forward, anger boiling over.

“Because I said so, sit down.” Kel’s mouth was agape, his desperation to leave only growing. ‘Because I said so’ was a common phrase that left his mother's mouth. Each time it was spoken his skin would crawl. 

“No!” He cried out without really thinking. The room fell silent, Hero grabbing his brother's arm. 

“Woah, calm down.” He mumbled. The look on their mother's face was far from complicit, she never took disrespect very well. 

“Kelsey, you sit down, wait for me to cook you a warm, loving meal, under the roof I’ve worked so hard to provide you with!- and eat with your family! Now!” Her volume steadily increased with each word. Kel shook his head.

“Hero can have it.” He scoffed. With that the woman grabbed the nearest object, in this case the car keys, and threw them in his general direction. It hit the wall behind Kel luckily, the thump frightening him to flinch. His father gasped and reached out for them, but failed to stop his wife from throwing. She had already managed to start crocodile crying, digging her face into her husband.

“ Malcriado! I should kill that boy!” She choked out between sobs. Kel was stunned for only a second; then took the opportunity, running for the door. Hero tried to pull him back, Kel quickly yanked his arm out of grasp. He let the night sky engulf him, running at the speed its stars provide light. He needed Basil more than anything right now.

Chapter Text

There was a small mound of termites chowing down on led paint in the corner. Basil had his hands on his knees, leaned over the mound examining it. One crawled on his loafer and he gently kicked it off, careful as to not end its life. The poor thing was running on limited time anyway, it was practically poisoning itself.  

…how long until someone came looking for him? Sunny, Mari, the angels? How long until he’d face his inevitable punishment for breaking an administered law? It couldn’t be long. God is omnipresent, there was no where he could hide. He stood straight before retreating into the ceiling frame, curling into his wings in search of comfort. From up in the smoky roof, all the dirt he was previously stepping on became clear, enabling him to kick his feet. There was a patch of sunlight bleeding in from a wound in the building, igniting a deep yearning to step into it, look out at the Earth he once lived in, appreciate what he couldn't before. But the world might stare back at him, more distastefully than when he was mortal. Over time the sun began to fade, leaving nothing but an indicator that time had passed. Basil hung upside down by the legs humming a familiar tune. It might've been one of Mari's pieces, maybe not. Perhaps it was Sunny's. Or maybe-

“ Basil!” a shrill echoed upstairs into the angel's newfound chambers. He flipped right side up and flew to the ground, running towards the voice. Once coming into contact with the fragile boy he held out his arms, noticing the tears threatening to bud. “I missed you…! my mom- I don't want to go back home. Let me stay with you forever and ever-”

“Woah woah woah, it's okay, everything's okay. I'm here. Tell me, what's wrong?” Basil stroked Kel's hair languidly, easing him with every brush. 

“Nothing… I was stupid and got into an argument with my mom… but I just really needed to see you!- I was so worried, people… they're looking for you!” Basil paused, something resembling fear clawed at his ribs. 

“People are… looking for me? What kind of people?” his hand no longer soothed Kel, instead they pulled him away, and grabbed him by the shoulders urgently. 

“Some stupid scientists… I won't let them take you.” oh, so maybe there weren't any angels after him yet. Was it possible no one had even noticed his absence? no, nonsense.

“I will be okay. I am a guardian spirit, there's no need to protect me.” Basil spoke confidently to reassure Kel but lacked a shred of genuinity. In reality there was no telling whether not Basil was safe, if he could protect himself when the occasion arises. All he had were his wings and nowhere to flee to. Either way he took Kel's face in one hand and caressed it with his thumb. Every prior issue ceased to exist; the angel had successfully perpetuated the idea that his state was everlasting, and eased Kel completely. Basil was safe in Kel's mind, and that's all that mattered. He couldn't recognize when or how but the two were soon on the soot covered floor together huddled in each other. Basil could feel the way he was clung to. Like at any moment he'd vanish. Like he'd split his stomach again, let the blood cover him in a red blanket and vanish like a magic act. Basil felt the way his man-made cotton shirt dampened with every heave and sob Kel made. It was exhilarating.

“It's okay, everything will be okay.” Kel couldn't see the way Basil smiled as the embrace deepened. As an angel Basil was never bored, but now it was clear why. Death made him forget everything.  He never thought he'd miss the days of screaming in his room only for it to come out as silent air. Every bone in his body to give out, every bruise earned to turn purple. If being incarnate was not for once mortal angels Basil can finally see why. Humans are Humans, no matter the change of rhythm. 

Kel fell asleep in his arms, limp and peaceful. Basil shifted so the clothes nor skin of the helpless old friend would be scuffed. There he sat awake, holding the vessel. The being with a beating heart, a flawed mind, flawed body, flawed ways. Basil did not sleep. What's this guardian angel good for?

———————————————————

“Ugh… how long was I out–” Kel looked at the beam of sunlight bleeding onto the floor and cursed. He pulled out his phone, sitting away from Basil, who hadn't a single emotion on his face. Would the vessel be upset? Was he supposed to wake him? Basil caught a glance at his lock screen. The time read 8AM. The date said Saturday. How long it had been since he's labeled time with such words. “Shit I have about a million missed calls from Hero- I need to go-” Kel was racing to leave but was stopped with a simple grab.

“You forgot to say goodbye,” Basil spoke eerily. There was no initial intention to spook Kel, but the boy did get visible chills. At once, he hugged his guardian, tone apologetic.

“I'm sorry, goodbye Basil, I'll see you later, okay?” Well, that was quite the docile reaction.

The angel watched Kel run off. Once he was out of sight, his celestial watcher smiled. 

Chapter Text

Each time his sneakers pounded onto the paved stone sidewalk another heavy exhale leapt from his throat. He ran quickly, unafraid knowing his parents were at work. Hero was probably worried sick, more than usual, and he couldn’t bear stressing his brother so much. Kel took a moment to catch his breath before entering, panting a painful amount. Slowly he lifted the carpet and took spare keys into hand, cracking the door steadily, peeking inside. To his horror both his mother and father were home. He wanted to turn back but it was too late, they’d already seen him. His mother ran, opening the door fully. Kel shut his eyes, fear ready to take over. Surprisingly, she hugged him and gestured back inside. That felt odd. That couldn’t be right. He looked over to Hero who was smiling.

“I’m so glad you’re okay!” He took both of Kel’s hands, “Kel, don’t ever scare me like that again.” Then his brother hugged him too. Where was all the yelling? Nothing happened, nothing at all. It didn’t feel as rewarding as it should’ve, for some reason. 

“We were talking, Kel, and… we do have to ground you. But only because… we think it’s too risky for you to leave the house for now. You’re not… uhm…” What's this? From the sound of it, dad was calling him mental. Is that what they thought of him? Why they were being so nice? Hero added,

“We don’t want you to get hurt.” Kel shook his head. Being bound to this house sounded more merciless than a death sentence. 

“Please— I’m not going to get hurt…” he turned to his mother. She stared blankly. “You don’t have to do this. Please.” Hero sighed and grabbed his shoulder,

“We just want you to be safe. We can’t think of any other way—“ Kel pushed his hand off.

“I don’t understand, do you think I’m a danger to myself??” He stepped backwards, furrowing his brows. There was hesitation, a moment of silence.

His mother scoffed, “I told you he would not listen, look he’s already trying to leave.”she crossed her arms and turning to the side. From there the two other men began to argue with her, forgetting all about the boy being interrogated. Kel went upstairs to his room, sluggishly plopping into bed. He flipped open his phone. Saturday, 9:50 am. There were two unread messages from Aubrey still marinating in his notifications from a day ago. If he were to be grounded, would his plans with Aubrey have to be canceled as well? He’d feel like a jerk doing that. And what about Basil? That’s who he worried most for. Kel took his book bag and bitterly packed some clothes. Just his luck, the door croak open. 

“Ah ah ah- no.” A hand reached for the backpack and threw it to the side. Hero was soon sitting on his bed with an empathetic stare. “…I’m sorry Kel, I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m just worried.” Kel stood up and dusted off his shorts.

“Apology accepted.” He mumbled before walking towards the door. Hero stopped him. 

“You know you can talk to me, right?” Kel just sort of stared.

“Well, yea.” 

“…You were closer to them than I was, I’ll admit that. Not to say I care less, but you must’ve taken things really hard… Kel, do you ever feel like… you don't want to live anymore?” There was a pause and then Kel began to laugh, dry and sarcastic.

“No, why would you ask me that? Can you please tell mom and dad to unground me?” He stood with a pathetic smile. Opening up was an uncomfortable thing to do, it always was. Especially when it came to family.

“It was my idea, actually. I get the feeling you’re not being honest with me.” Hero stood his ground, keeping Kel in the room. 

“If I was going to kill myself, I would’ve done it already.” Technically not wrong, but the proclamation didn’t exactly help his case. Hero looked startled at the response, not expecting him to be so straight-forward. 

“Fine. If you’re not suicidal, you won’t mind being at home a few days. It’s just precaution.” Kel scowled, was he serious?

“But!- no!” Hero tilted his head,

“Why not?” Well because he wouldn’t be able to visit Basil, of course. But they’d send him to a ward for sure if he said that. Kel awkwardly conjured up a response,

“…what about Aubrey? We’re supposed to go to church tomorrow.” Hero’s mouth made an ‘o’ shape as he tapped a finger in the air.

“Right… you’re right.” He sighed. “Well, I’m taking you. So that shouldn’t be an issue.” Kel clenched his fists. He wasn’t sure how he’d outsmart a soon-to-be college graduate, but he’d reach out to Basil somehow. 

Chapter Text

The walls of Kel’s familiar and at some point cozy bedroom began to emit a sense of dread, similar to one of being locked in a cage. Kel felt dramatic for thinking this, but he genuinely believed the place had shrunk, and it would continue to do so. It’d squish the boy into nothing if he didn’t get out while he still could. Checking the clock, it read 9 AM. That equates to a whole twenty-four hours without hearing or seeing Basil, leaving Kel in dire straits. In his sleep he dreamt of the two beside each other, talking of nothing. The sky was a pale blue, the stars were climbing over them. He held Basil’s hand and spoke of all his wishes as if the angel could grant them. Either way, Basil listened intimately, looking him in the eyes, holding him close. It was nice. It was better than this dim room. 

Crawling away from the synthetic fleece which once covered his body, Kel walked towards the closet and began rummaging. Hero stirred awake, turning to watch his brother but not venturing to say anything. The day set in, and Hero stretched his arms in the air before leaving bed. 

“You’re getting dressed already?” The approaching sound of creaking floor tiles startled Kel. He glanced behind himself then nodded. There was an air of unease inclining Hero to attempt casual conversation, but upon opening his mouth nothing came out. Slowly shifting his weight forward then back in place, he sighed and turned to the door. Kel continued his search for a presentable outfit. Surely Aubrey wouldn’t care too much of his appearance, but the church goers would. It was simply easier to appeal to them. What do old ladies think is immodest for men to wear? The answer is not as many things as women, and so Kel had quite the array of options. The typical orange jersey was not one of them, to his dismay.

Kel had not exactly a plan but an idea. Maybe more than one. It was hard to think last night, it was stuffy and the room felt small. It continues growing smaller. He could convince Hero nothing was wrong, and prove there was no need to trap him, but the man was obstinate. Even after all the smiling at dinner, the relatively smooth conversation with mom, he wasn’t swayed. He could use Aubrey to get away, run off without supervision, then figure something out from there. He didn’t want to involve her, but he could. Kel was never the brightest, but he was far from stupid—Hero underestimated him—he knew it well. 

           ————————————————

The crème white church building looked over him, in his brown brogues and collared shirt, unkindly as ever. He only ever came to visit his friends, never sermons or confessions. Walking timid-like behind Hero he scanned the inside in search of Aubrey, unable to locate her. He unknowingly walked towards the opposite direction, coming across pews of women chattering. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but he stood around them longer than intended. They spoke of those ‘sightings’ around Faraway, of a massive bird with the softest feathers. Apparently, it was the latest gossip for old people. Hero shook him out of the trance.

“There she is.” Hero pointed, but it was hard to recognize the girl. She seemed so different, blended in with her environment like a chameleon. When he finally spotted her renowned pink hair, it was tied back to show off her jet-black roots. She wore a blazer, yellow and white, with floral accents. Her shirt, a light shade of green, peeking through her blazer. On top of that an old tote bag, the beige flattering. Her pants flared at the bottom, in a retro kind of way, which kept some youth in her very grandma-esque outfit. Kinda like those strawberry shortcake dolls.

Then, he almost didn’t notice at first, but there was a familiar pink flower in her hair. Kel almost stopped in his tracks, the sight feeling like a stab in the stomach. Where did she get that? the flower looked identical, too. Why was she dressed so softly? Almost like…

“You guys came! I wasn’t so sure, Kel never answered my messages ha-ha…” she fiddled with the floral bracelet on her wrist, teeth in her nervous smile. “It’s nice to see you again, Hero! You guys are early, the sermon hasn’t started yet.” 

“Aubrey, it’s nice to see you as well! How have you been?”

“Oh, well, not too good at first. But I’ve been working on myself with the help of the lord.” She kicked her feet happily. He always knew Aubrey turned to religion but hearing her speak about God in this way felt new. Hero nodded, at least she was doing well. 

“What’s with the change in style?” Kel leaned over to ask. He didn’t understand it. Aubrey was never afraid to wear crop tops and miniskirts to church before.

She looked back at the boy and said, “Now that I have a stronger relationship with God, I want to pay him respect by dressing modestly at church… I don’t have to, but I want to.” 

Kel tried to mask his uneasy feelings, why was it so weird hearing her talk like that? Kel knew angels were real, he knew there was life after death, Aubrey wasn’t wrong for her new way of thinking. Still, he bit his tongue. The sermon began, a pastor on a podium preached ancient scriptures to the crowd in front of him. He started speaking of a greater evil among them, or something like that. There was no attention directed towards the pastor on Kel’s part. Instead, he panned his eyes over to the stained glass on each window beside him. No matter how homey a church was, it always seemed to have motifs written in colored windows. There were angels depicted on these. White on the inside, rims of color on the outside. Behind the pastor was a fully colored window, which, if Kel really squinted, looked almost like Basil in his purest form. Thinking of it, how did Basil change Kel’s perception of religion? Ever since witnessing his resurrection, he hadn’t asked about the afterlife, or of God. No, he was just happy his friend returned. There was no need to wonder about heaven, he had heaven, he had Basil.

“Jude 1:6: and the angels who did not stay within their own position of authority, but left their proper dwelling, he has kept in eternal chains under gloomy darkness until the judgment of the great day”

Kel didn’t know why the pastor suddenly caught his attention, or when his ears started listening, but they did. The man on the podium wore silk attire, an ivory white draped upon his shoulders, his hair a chestnut brown. When he began to speak verses, all with the same theme, Kel’s suspicion piqued, interested in where this sermon was headed. 

“My brothers and sisters, the world might call me crazy, but last night our lord spoke to me.” He began. That did sound absurd. However, Kel was no one to doubt, as he hid an angel away not too long ago. Perhaps they were in the same boat? 

“Some of you may have heard of- or even spotted an entity roaming our peaceful streets, which as of now, has been identified, and named a mere bird. I want you all to listen to me, the birds in question, that these deniers of God speak of, bred themselves in the south... south America. They want to speak of science so bad? It is scientifically impossible for those birds to manifest themselves here in Faraway. I want to tell you what’s really going on, it is far beyond science. When I prayed last night, God spoke to me. He told me some stories–stories of lucifer. At first, I didn’t understand why. I knew the tale well. Until the man continued, and in his words warned me of a great danger. Folks, that thing is no animal, it is an angel fallen from heaven.” Kel didn’t realize he had gasped along with the crowd, but he did. Okay, the two were not in the same boat at all. Kel was surviving on a raft, and the pastor was on a pirate ship with cannons and a crew. He was horrified to say the least. Basil was no fallen angel, was he? No, he said so himself. Basil is a guardian angel, how dare this man insult an innocent boy’s good name? If God really cared, he’d come down and get his worker. But Basil did nothing to deserve such a title. 

The pastor continued, “I call upon each and every one of you to stay vigilant and trust our lord will protect us.” from there the rest of the sermon was a blur. As much as Basil claimed to be untouchable, Kel still felt obligated to protect him, or at least warn him. The men and women of church Faraway could get quite extreme when it came to their faith, and in a boring town like such, who wouldn’t want the chance to be a martyr? no one. When the sermon ended, buzz around the chapel arose, he could overhear the violent thoughts of these holy people. They wanted to kill Basil in god’s name. They heard ’be vigilant’ and decided to become vigilantes, god’s vigilantes. Kel’s skin crawled, urgency in every fiber of his being. He needed to leave, leave and take Basil with him–

“ Kel! ” but he couldn’t. “Kel, we’re gonna go to the graveyard, c’mon.” The graveyard? He turned to see his tense brother beside Aubrey. She must’ve talked him into it. She was smiling so bright, satisfaction written in her eyes. Kel nodded and followed behind her, exiting the building through its side door, which led to the graveyard. 

            ———————————————

“So, what’d you guys think?” Aubrey asked all cheery. Truthfully, Hero was a man of science, and Kel was currently mad at the pastor.

“I’m glad you found something that makes you happy. I’ve been quite worried about you, Aubrey.” Hero matched her pace. Kel observed Aubrey's demeanor, her act, if you will. He detested it, but he couldn’t say that, especially with Hero’s judging eyes on them. There was still a chance to persuade him, and Kel would not give that up. 

“It’s awesome actually! I think it’s great you’re moving on and bettering as a person!” Okay, way too enthusiastic. Hero looked over at his brother, suspiciously, like he knew so damn much.

“Really? I appreciate that…” she lowered her head with a smile. Reaching into the bag slung over her shoulder she pulled out a dingy picnic blanket. It was similar to Mari’s, but it wasn’t hers. She delicately placed it on the grass, beside three familiar tombstones. Mari on one side, across from her Sunny, and next to him Basil. “I was wondering if we could have a picnic… y’know, like we used to.” 

“That sounds lovely.” Hero took a seat on the blanket. Kel mirrored. 

“Erm- you have any snacks?” He blurted out. Aubrey laughed, taking out a baggie with sandwiches. Typical Kel, always hungry for something, right? 

“I made these myself… they might not be the best, but I tried, haha…” Kel grabbed a sandwich and took an exaggerated bite. 

“These are amazing! Thanks Aubrey!” They were mediocre at best. Aubrey wasn’t a cook, and if these were made in her own home, there was the chance they could contain slight traces of tobacco, or maybe liquor. Not to sound unsympathetic of course, that wasn’t her fault. Hero could tell the praise wasn’t genuine, considering his troubled expression after taking a bite from his own sandwich.

“Huh? They are? Well thanks! I also brought some chips.” Hero opted for those. Kel didn’t. He ate the sandwich. The entire pathetic thing. The whole time, a smile on his face. Kel tried not to crack in the slightest, every question Aubrey asked was answered like customer service. Still, Hero didn’t falter. It was written on the wrinkles in his brow. Why couldn’t his older brother see how happy he was acting?? Joke after joke cracked, the tension in his shoulders wouldn't escape…

“I’m glad we could be like this again; I was scared we were gonna have another falling out…” Again, she nervously fiddled with her bracelet. This was not the Aubrey he knew. In fact, seeing her sit there with Basil’s flower in her hair, an awkward expression on her face, soft colors on her palette, it was almost infuriating. The real Basil was in danger and out of reach. “I thank God, he saved my life. I’m glad I could bring you two to church with me today.” there was a brief silence. “Are either of you interested in having a relationship with God?” Being second generation immigrants, the Gonzalez's did believe in a god once--albeit, a catholic god, who only accepted prayers in Spanish. But the last time he got dressed for mass or talked to diosito, was distant and hard to remember. 

“I can see you’re trying to look out for us, but it isn’t exactly in our best interest. However, if religion personally works for you, then you keep doing what works!” Hero discouraged her gently. Kel chimed in,

“You’re clearly using it to cope, but trust me, I'm coping very well!” Perhaps that was insensitive, as Aubrey only sheepishly nodded in response. It didn't matter. He had to get his point across somehow, since Hero clearly wasn’t getting it.

“Well, Kel, no one is perfect. Especially you . She was just recommending something that helped her grieve.” The air between the two brothers grew tense. Kel’s smile subtly wavered. He could feel Hero’s doubt seeping into the space between them like a cold draft.

“I don’t need any help grieving.” He spoke through his teeth. 

“Huh, maybe you should try out religion. I’ve observed it’s made Aubrey more honest and open about her feelings.” Kel clenched his fists. So that’s how it was? All his efforts really were futile? 

Aubrey clawed at her stupid bracelet. She looked at the two men across from her who refused to look at each other, grumbling to themselves and holding their breath. Feeling obligated to ease things out, she opened her mouth to speak,

“Y-Y’know, not too long ago, I went through Basil’s photo album, and got inspired to make some flower crowns for us-” Kel whipped his head in her direction,

“Just- Stop it!”  he snapped. “When’d you do that? After bullying him into suicide!?” His voice quivered with the outburst. The words left his mouth before his mind could filter them out. The whole cemetery went still, not even the grass dared to move against the wind. Aubrey didn’t try to hide her hurt expression, no, she immediately teared up. Well, Hero was right about something.

“Kel!” The older man cried. “This doesn’t help your case. Apologize.”

“Nothing helps my case! How thick is your skull!?” Too late to turn back now, there wasn’t any damage that could top what he unfairly said to his old friend.

“I’m stupid because I won't fall for your facade??”

“Yet you’re falling for Aubrey’s!? Look at her! Listen to her!!”

The girl sat there appalled. Hero’s expression only softened upon turning towards her. 

“I don’t understand…” she mumbled.

“…Aubrey-” Hero began, speaking in his comforting tone. Kel wouldn’t let him,

“You haven’t changed at all, Aubrey. You’re trying to feel better about yourself; by acting like you’re someone else! Have you really been working with God like you say??” After scrutinizing her enough, a suppressed rage coughed its way out of Aubrey’s throat. She dug her uneven nails into the picnic blanket, almost tearing it apart.

“ Who are you to judge me!?” Aubrey’s voice came out in a shriek, cracking and shattering like glass. “ Fuck off, Kelsey!” And with that she ran away. There was no effort made to retrieve her blanket or her bag, she just… ran. 

At first Kel sat stunned, the reality of everything crashing down on his conscience. Aubrey was no more stable than he, no less flawed either. In his left ear the living embodiment of discernment sighed. Hero was disappointed in him; he knew it. But what more could be expected from immature old Kel? 

“Go.” 

“…what?” Was Hero asking him to leave?

“Go after her and say you’re sorry. Can’t you see how badly you messed up? I’ll clean all this, just go.” That seemed like the right thing to do. Kel was well-spirited at heart, after all. Typical Kel to try and make things right again.

             ————————————————

As he stood in front of the crème white church building it looked down on him unkindly as ever. Especially as now, Kel found himself smiling. There was this terrible guilt behind it, but he was smiling. He was no longer under Hero’s supervision. He had successfully escaped. He could finally see Basil again, save him.

On the distant sidewalk, there was Aubrey, stomping her way back home. His friend, if he could still call her that. She probably wouldn’t want to be called that anymore. She probably needs the space. It’ll be okay, she’ll be okay.

Slowly, Kel picked up on chanting coming from a farther distance. It was the church goers; he could recognize their distinct and derogatory words. Basil needed him. 

But… maybe Aubrey did too. Maybe Aubrey needed someone to reassure her she’s not as bad as she’s been painted. Today, and her whole life. He took one step forward. Typical Kel would do the right thing, that’s why Hero let him loose. Hero–-Hero who underestimates him.

  ————————————————

“It’s good to see you’re back. I was beginning to worry.” Kel didn’t say a word, he simply slumped into Basil’s arms. “Hm… what’s the matter now? You seem tired out.” Kel lifted himself, wrapping around Basil’s shoulders. 

“They’re calling you horrible things.” He murmured.

“Who? What are they calling me?” Basil slowly traced shapes into the lean boy's back. The motion was spine-chilling, Kel’s breathing hitched.

“These people… at church. The pastor said you were a fallen angel. Now the people want you dead.” Dust latched onto the pores of his shirt. Each second in this disgusting factory was now sickening. The mold on the floor reminded him of Aubrey’s home, along with the bugs, and the peeling paint. Why wouldn’t this guilt get out of his skin?

“The people? Let the people find out for themselves how merciless I can be.” He laughed, breathy. The words came out unnatural and unlike Basil. Kel didn’t take his words seriously, 

“...They’re on their way, we need to leave.” Were they really? The chanting still echoed in his ear, so it sure sounded like it.

“No one's going to find me. Let’s stay here, talk for a bit. Do you remember how little we used to talk after Mari died? Let’s not do that again. How was your day?” Basil smiled, strengthening his grip on Kel. 

“Um, It was… terrible. Now please take me seriously, let’s go somewhere farther into town–”

“Why would I want to be farther from you? Doesn’t that sound like such a hassle? If you must move me, move me closer to your home.” his tone was jarring. The mortal wrestled out of Basil’s tight embrace, looking the latter in his striking eyes. For a moment, they almost seemed plausibly human. 

“Are you serious? That heightens the chances of you being discovered, that completely ruins the point…” Kel replied in disbelief. 

“Oh…  but are you sure? I've grown fond of this place; I'm used to it now”

“What? Yes!”

“Maybe you’re just… exaggerating the danger, Kel. There’s nothing to save me from, why do you want to save me so bad?” His tone was curious yet accusatory. Kel was stunned. Well, maybe the chanting was just an echo. Maybe the mob was just a small parade. Maybe he just wanted to prove his brother wrong. But how would Basil know that? “Tell me about this crowd who wants my head, what do they have? Guns?” Well, guns aren't very popular in the north, especially Massachusetts.

“Well… no, but they could still hurt you.” 

“Do they have bows and arrows…?” Now that was just silly. 

“Basil… would it be wrong to say… I regret visiting you today?” Kel slumped. He couldn't take it anymore.

The arms that once held him stiffened. “Yes, It would. Why would you say that?” Basil pouted, ripping his hands away.

“Not to be rude! I just…” Kel found himself struggling to continue, thoughts lacking continuity. So many things had happened, it was hard to process. Eventually he managed to string together a summary of what had occurred in the graveyard for Basil to judge.

“Huh… well let me tell you, you made the right choice coming here.” Basil smiled, reintroducing his hands. He eased in again, playing with Kel’s hair. “Aubrey needs her space–-that’s how she is. Tomorrow, you find her and explain your side of things, then say you’re sorry. If she takes after God, she’ll forgive you.”

“Thanks Basil, you’re always so helpful.” Kel smiled bashfully, some pink creeping onto his cheeks. Their meeting was meant to be short, but it was hard to separate from each other. The angel was informed there might not be another visit for some time, to which he responded with an eerie smile and unnerving words. 

“I wonder how long that will last… but I’ll stay patient. It’s not like you can forget about me anyway, haha.”

  ————————————————

Kel walked home with the energy of a zombie, making a pitstop by Gino’s, and passing by the scraps of what used to be a ’giant’ mob, plotting to take down a fallen angel. Slowly there was this creeping realization that the desperation to see Basil was… just that. Desperation to see Basil. Not truly understanding the depth of his own actions, Kel went up tethered stairs and into his mutually shared room. Hero had already made himself comfortable, sitting knees up on the mattress. Beside him, Aubrey's things.

“I was just about to call you, how’d it go?”

“She didn’t want to listen to me. I’ll try again once she’s calm.”

Hero frowned, “So what were you doing this whole time?” In an instant Kel handed him a plastic bag with something wrapped inside. It was a sandwich. 

“You never had a proper lunch.”

Chapter Text

What to do without his vessel? Basil sighed and grabbed a charred broom from within what was left of a storage closet. Its handle was brittle but fit for his delicate hands. Tidying up a seemingly impossible building to clean, he began to think.

Basil had never expected to find himself in this predicament. Bound to Earth physically, bound to a mortal emotionally. Emotionally? Angels shouldn’t have strong emotions. Yet, the longer he was around a human the more his soul ached for feeling. Afterlife was an odd place, time moved differently. Like being a giant looming over a small village, but also like a small hummingbird flying over a giant garden. It didn’t make any sense, truly. Upon arriving, you get this nostalgia, like you’ve lived there all your life. Then in a matter of seconds, you’re pure again. The kinda purity you had as an infant. Mari described it as ‘clicking’ as in clicking into place, like a puzzle piece. Sunny said it was more like electroshock therapy, which wasn’t too far off either. Basil believed it was more like a weight being lifted off your shoulders, and then melted into a glass for you to hold. At any moment, couldn’t he just drink it? He was always told not to. Angel’s aren’t supposed to be impure, or troubled. Why would they want to be? 

Well, maybe their wrist was tired. But they can’t let go of the glass, for some unknown reason. Then the only way to get rid of the weight is to drink it, right? Sunny would understand. Unlike his sister who always acted so unburdened. She didn’t have many sins, she perhaps needed a peace like the afterlife. She had no duties, no human to guard, as all her debts had been paid. Sunny and Basil on the other hand had quite the load to repent for, gaining them their guardian angel title. It was like community service for the dead. Sunny always struggled with his job, reasonably so. Taking care of someone is hard, it’s why Basil’s stuck here in the first place. 

After pushing a bunch of dust into one corner, then turning to find the rest of the floor still ugly, Basil grinned. Living in this crisp environment brought him unease at first, but soon he began to see himself in the seared walls and helpless bugs. Not him, exactly, but the him in his heavy glass. There was a reflection in it that showed what his old face looked liked, pimples and pores and all the other little imperfections. Basil stared into it often, too often. Like if Narcissus had fallen in love with his blemishes instead of his beauty. With this hidden desire of his in mind, he also couldn’t help but enjoy the way Kel worshiped him. Ironically another human trait. If Basil was no longer divine, would Kel still treat him as such? What if he knew the long buried truth? 

Suddenly, Basil’s ears rang. There was a subtle vibration coming from the floor, and audible singing coming from outside. Sighing heavily with annoyance he stepped towards an opening in the wall. Just as expected there was a crowd of… protestors? Christians? Was this what Kel was talking about yesterday? They chanted something about Lucifer, but he couldn’t make it out. Their voices all mushed together sounded like bees, buzzing. Basil was cautious not to reveal himself, but still found the ordeal entertaining. What exactly did they hope to accomplish here?

Basil treaded upstairs, all the way to the rooftop. There he rested elbows on the suicide prevention railing, cupping his face in his two hands. The people switched from chants to gospel, walking around with the closest things they had to weapons, it was amusing. Especially as they passed the factory, unknowingly. Listening to them get quieter and seeing them get smaller, he laughed. The humorous moment didn’t last long.

There was this blood curdling shriek, a high pitched scream that hurt his ears.

“You!!- you’re the!!- help! someone, it's the fallen!!- mph! -"  Without a second thought, Basil grabbed the girl's face and covered her mouth.

“Shush!” He barked. A little harsh, but it was warranted. The angel looked around to make sure nobody was stirred, then turned back to face the girl. Slowly he locked eyes with her cyan contact lenses and her ruffled pink hair. She was afraid. For once in his life he was the one making Aubrey afraid. In her hand there was a pack of cigarettes along with a crumpled piece of paper. “Oh my, what happened to you?” 

“Let go of me!” Aubrey pulled his hands away. “Go to hell where you belong!!” She squinted her eyes shut and put her arms up in defense.

“I don’t belong to hell, no need to be scared.” Basil stepped back, giving her space. Did Aubrey not recognize him? Slowly, she put down her arms and looked at the angel timidly. There was a brief silence.

“Why did you betray God…?” she murmured, still under the impression of her pastor. Well technically Basil did break a rule, but he still wouldn't consider himself a fallen angel. The girl was clearly too mind fogged to grasp that though… that's when Aubrey's vulnerable state dawned on him. She looked a mess, was acting unstable, holding a piece of paper, and on a rooftop. Sunny was watching, he had to be. Guardian angels are always summoned during moments like these. Boy, does he owe Basil for this. 

“...because I loved someone very, very much.” 

“That's all it took…?”

“Yes.”

“How'd you do it? Betray him, I mean.” Aubrey slowly walked towards the brightness, feeling less threatened. Her eyes conveyed this sort of anger, one of which she's held towards Basil prior. The one where she'd look down on him and call him a coward. She must be thinking that now. “ Look at this coward, who betrayed his faith for something stupid like love.”  

“I ignored his requests and chose to listen to my heart instead.” Basil tilted his head and smiled. “Like you’re doing right now.” He then pointed to her crumpled up note. With an insecure expression she hid it behind her back. 

“I’m human. We sin. You were an angel, it’s very different.” 

“I was human once too. Do you think I’ve forgotten?” The air around them grew tense. 

“…What was your name?” Aubrey asked with a slight hesitation. She clearly did not plan on empathizing with him, however, was still curious for some reason.

“Um, it was..” Basil looked around, catching a glimpse of some trees in the distance. “...Leaf.”

“Leaf…? Oh, well, Leaf, I’m going to kill you.” She said, “I’ll do God a favor and kill you. Then, he’ll forgive me for killing myself.” Basil’s eyes widened. Well, that’s not where he expected this to go.

“Hold on— you’re going to kill me?” He laughed, not out of fear, but more so concern. “Thou shall not kill, Aubrey.” 

“How do you know my name!?” Shoot. Nice going Basil. He bit his tongue and looked to the side.

“…Because I’m all knowing?” A little shallow but it was worth a shot.

“All knowing? Bullshit. You’re not a god.” Aubrey took a lighter from her pocket and loosely pointed it in Basil’s direction. “Tell me something I don’t know then, blondie.”

“Uh… did you know the Titan Arum, also known as the corpse flower, can grow up to 10 feet tall—and more notably, emit a horrid smell often compared to rotten flesh? They only live up to 48 hours too!” Aubrey for some reason let him finish the plant fact, but didn’t seem amused. Actually, she seemed quite conflicted. Her expression softened and the hand holding a lighter lowered. Was that too on the nose? Too Basil of him?  

“I-… no, I didn’t.” She mumbled. “Y’know you almost remind me of a friend I had…” Basil winced. Guess it was. 

“Oh really? What was his name?” Like he didn’t know.

“Basil. You guys look very alike.” At the mention of her dead friend, Aubrey began to lower her head, a somber tone taking over. 

“Basil? What happened to him?”

“Aren’t you all knowing?” She retorted.

“I am. That’s why I’m asking you to tell me.”

“…suicide, last month.” There was a pause. Neither of them spoke and instead looked at each other numbly. Basil felt pity for her. Immense pity. He looked at his first friend, his previous tormenter, and subtly began to smile. The wind kicked her hair gently, causing the slightest sway. She stood in her intimidating stance, with her hands clenched at her sides, with eyes that spoke her mind for her. 

“Why continue this cycle of grief? Why inflict further pain?” Basil took a step forward, Aubrey stiffened. She looked at him with a glare. “Go home. Keep this a secret okay? And don’t return.” He spoke as gently as he could but the girl only became furious.

“Go to hell! You just don’t want to fight me!”

“Not at all. I care about you, Aubrey.”

“You don’t know me!” She yelled, clicking the lighter back on, a small flame now flickering between them. “You don’t understand what I feel— not in the slightest! You had paradise, and chose this instead! How dare you stand there and try to be my savior!? A.. A voice of reason!? You’re a demon! That’s what you are! A demon!!” With the blink of an eye Aubrey lunged forward and tackled Basil. It was quick and impactful, Basil’s head hit the concrete flooring. The angel let out a gasp, trying to push off Aubrey desperately. She didn’t hesitate to punch him, and knee him, and try to mark up his porcelain skin. Basil’s wings were pressed to the floor, his only weapon out of reach. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Aubrey. He couldn’t do it. Basil tried turning to the side, to free his wings and fly away. The girl was smarter than that. With a heavy hand she lashed upon his feathers, ripping some out. With a gaping mouth Basil made a scream he didn’t know he was capable of making. It sounded hoarse, and sharp, like an eagle. A passerby could mistake it for a bird. But up close it was ear piercing, gut wrenching. Of course he could feel pain, he was corporeal. Why did he ever doubt that? Aubrey paused for a moment before continuing. She lifted that lighter and tried setting the angel on fire. She lit his wings and pulled back to observe what would happen. Basil tried rolling on the ground, still screeching like an animal. 

“I… the power of Christ compels you!?-“

“ Gahh!!- stop!- please, someone!- Sunny!!- help me, please!!-“ Basil cried, cried for his friend to save him. It was in a particular way Basil had screamed, helpless and agonizing, that made Aubrey freeze. She looked down at what she had done. “ Did this fallen angel just call for ‘Sunny’?” That’s what she must’ve been thinking. Truthfully he didn’t mean to blurt that out, but it was life or death. Aubrey began to tremble, her eyes watering. With wobbly legs she got off of Basil and looked at him again in fear. Maybe she was remembering the years of pain she afflicted on her old friend. Maybe it was empathy, hearing the pathetic demon had loved ones. Maybe it was just the name ‘Sunny’. But slowly, she backed away, before running downstairs, and out the factory.

Night fell upon Basil. Like a dead bug he stayed on the floor twitching. Wings were bruised and burnt, his skin was red and purple, he looked far from angelic now. Still, there was this twisted sense of pleasure in his soul. He finally felt imperfect, disgusting, and ugly. It was amazing. 

“Dear God, I’ve experienced something magnificent that I never could under your protection."

"pain.”

Chapter Text

The weight of the coming season filled Kel’s senses. He had opened a window to look at the predominantly green environment, invaded by splashes of autumn.  Hero mumbling something in the distance, filtered out by chirping birds and windy streets. The summer day was cool, perfect for a walk. Maybe even a picnic. He clenched his fist, feeling a fabric beneath his fingers.

Holding Aubrey’s picnic blanket, Kel sat on his bed with a strange nervousness. It’s well into the day, almost past afternoon. This should’ve been a trip for the early morning. However, for hours Kel had stalled and procrastinated, swearing to Hero he’d leave in just a minute. But those minutes have now formed into several hours. The idea of avoiding confrontation was awfully shallow, he knew. However, postponement and cancellation are very different. Hero paced nervously, worried as always. Was there ever a moment he wasn’t worried? 

“Admit you were wrong, just say sorry.” But it was never that simple. Every word choice, every action, it could all have its opposite reaction. It could tear his hard work to the ground, and he’d deserve every second of it. Aubrey was always a bomb waiting to defuse. He couldn’t stand to hurt his friend again, he couldn’t do it. 

So Kel treaded down Faraway, beige tote bag in hand, mangled picnic blanket inside. He rehearsed a sentence starter, soon developing a scripted conversation. It was semi useless, he knew that. Practicing a conversation in your head for real, unpredictable people, was just showing up with a script to an improv. Still, it provided him some ease—some confidence. If he played his cards right, Aubrey might just forgive him. 

Though, about two blocks into Kel’s journey, there was this slow realization that he might need to do a bit of searching. Aubrey was barely ever home, for good reason, so what’s the chance she’s there now? Pretty low, but he could still check, couldn’t he? Well a couple blocks later and Kel made his way into the landfill, knowing Aubrey nor her mother bother to lock doors. He didn’t even glance at the frail woman passed out on her musty green couch, simply making his way down the hall. Knock knock.

“Aubrey?…. I’m coming in, so, be warned?” He slowly opened the door, with a looming nervousness.

He was greeted by a cluttered room with no one inside. Great. There were no sermons at this hour, so she mustn’t be at church. However if she’s not at the park it’d be wise to check the graveyard. 

“Kim! Hey, you’re close with Aubrey right?” Staggering towards the tomboy he waved a barren hand. In return she flicked her head upwards as a friendly gesture.

“I’m not so sure anymore, but what’s up?” 

“Oh.. well, where is she? Do you know?” Kel struggled to hide his inner reeling, playing with his hands excessively. Kim squinted, clearly noticing but not bothering to comment.

“Oh, past the trees in that secret hideout. Y’know the spot. But she’s in one of her moods, best not to bother her.” But Kel was sick of avoiding her. The last time he ventured past those trees was before Basil’s resurrection, the day he planned to end it all. If not for hiding Basil in that factory, Aubrey would have definitely found him, so thank goodness for that. Then again, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if she did. If anyone could use Basil’s gentle and helpful guidance, it was her. Until then, Kel felt the obligation to step up and lend a helping hand instead. Not as on par as Basil but still pretty damn good. 

Walking towards the lake his eyes slowly focused in on the sullen girl. Her attire was back to normal, thankfully. She was also smoking, which… felt like it violated a commandment or something, but what would Kel know of religion rules? He quietly walked behind her, taking a breath before announcing his presence. 

“Aubrey?” The girl didn’t respond. She flicked the cigarette into the lake, receiving chills as she watched it drown. “Hey… can we talk?” Kel sat next to her, a good distance away. He nudged the tote bag in her direction. Aubrey turned but didn’t look him in the eye.

“Why are you here?” She frowned. There was that stubbornness Kel was expecting. 

“I’ve come to apologize-“

“Save it. I don’t want you to.” She dug her head into her knees. Kel was now left puzzled, she didn’t want an apology? “…You were right Kel, I really don’t change.” 

“What? No- forget what I said okay? None of it was true. I shouldn’t have lashed out like that. I'm really sorry.” The sky dulled into its darker form, the sun falling into tranquility. It’s beauty only to be covered by the trees, giving the grass specs of orange and an ugly shadow. How melancholic it felt. 

“Okay, you’re forgiven.” Her tone was bitter, she kept a scrunched face. Kel knew forgiveness was the aim, but after receiving it so easily, he couldn’t hold back that stubborn feeling he used to always get, the desire to make things right again. The athlete stepped out of his comfort zone and kept talking. 

“I shouldn’t be. What’s wrong? You can tell me.” Aubrey didn’t respond for a bit, eyes still dead set on the ground. Kel shifted awkwardly, awaiting some sort of reaction. 

“…do you think they’d forgive me…?” She murmured. “Maybe God forgives me but… I want them to forgive me.”

“They do. Believe me, nothing was your fault.” Kel took on that soothing tone Hero always used when comforting them. It suited the latter better, it was parental, responsible, no quality Kel could ever attain. 

“You can’t know that for sure…”

“You can’t know they don’t for sure either… so why purposely make yourself sad?” Aubrey looked up at him, eyes glistening with unshed tears. “…they were forgiving people, Aubrey. Especially Basil. Don’t you remember—the poor boy could never hold a grudge!” He almost laughed.

“I guess so… he’d get stung by a bee and apologize for killing it, haha...” 

“I think he did do that once!”

“Yea that’s why I said it, dumbass.” There was a pause, Kel feigning an offended expression. Then immediately following those few seconds the two began laughing hysterically. For a moment it felt like they were close friends again. Aubrey wiped her tears, and the two fell into awkward silence. Slowly she looked away from Kel and spoke.

“Y’know sometimes I think I’m crazy… but, I genuinely hear Sunny talk to me at times.”

“That’s not crazy at all.” Kel hummed. In fact, it made perfect sense. That’s her guardian angel after all.

“But also… I think I’m having hallucinations or something. Today, I swore I talked to.. well—I don’t know who he was. But he wasn’t human.” The blood in Kel’s body got a little colder. He felt himself become overly attentive, leaning in to hear her right. “I think it might’ve been Basil… I don’t know.”

“What are you talking about?” Kel said more urgently than he meant to.

“It was this weird delusion I had… it felt so real, like, I could feel his skin, and his wings. He spoke to me in this strange way… I didn’t understand it, so I hurt him. He said something that ticked me off and I just… lost it. It was bloody and gross and I don’t understand what possessed me to act like that but I beat him nearly to death.” With a regretful expression, Aubrey turned to look back at Kel. She almost flinched at the horror on his face. “Oh God, you think I’m insane now don’t you?”

“No…” Kel spoke coldly. “I don’t.”

“Why were you looking at me like that then? Haha…” Kel slowly got up. 

“I realized how late it’s getting. See the sky? I should head home.” Aubrey followed him with her eyes, a conflicted glint in them. 

“Oh okay, see you.”

“See you.”

  ————————————————

Kel ran from the lake down the block winded, each step heavier than the last. His mind replayed Aubrey’s words, her twisted confession. 

He wasn’t human… I hurt him… beat him nearly to death…

Each letter injected this undying worry, a horrible guilt. The chill in Kel’s blood spread to every limb and muscle he possessed, making it hard to go on. The dread in his chest put his lungs on the verge of collapsing, no movement was fast enough. The tree’s seemed to blow against a harsher wind, their leaves rustling whispers into his head—accusatory and frantic. It was just a delusion, surely. She said it was a mere hallucination. 

It was a desperate attempt to comfort himself, but Kel subtly slowed his pace, breathing in the crisp air. Basil was fine. Nothing was real. He looked at the foreboding dark blue above him and panted. The stars were obstructed by thick clouds. He kept running with his chin up, feeling the sharpness of the cool air.

Now standing eerily before him was the factory. The refuge of Basil’s hideout no longer felt safe. He rushed inside and called out for the angel, there was no response. Then there was this aroma around the building, blazed and burnt. It was always there, maybe his senses had been heightened, but it was stronger today. His footsteps echoed ominously, climbing up the stairs in unease. 

There, bathed in the now moonlight, he saw it. Basil’s bruised body covered in his own blood. It was the prettiest shade of bronze, it might’ve even glittered. His once pristine wings now crumpled and charred, Basil laid motionless on the cold concrete. Kel nearly collapsed, bile rising in his throat. After the utter shock had passed he fell to the angel’s side, scarring his knees.

“Basil…?” The whisper barely escaped his lips, more a breath than a word. Hands trembled over his friends mangled form, unsure what to do, what to touch, how to help. A weak smile met his gaze,

“Kel…!” Basil laughed, attempting to raise an arm and caress the boy’s face gently. Without a second thought Kel lifted Basil and hugged him with a scary amount of strength. 

“I was stupid... so stupid. I’m never leaving you again Basil, never never never .” The words tumbled out, tangled with sobs. Tears formed without a care, dampening the crook of Basil’s neck. There, Kel wailed, letting his pent-up grief out in full. “They can’t take you away from me—“ his voice broke, dissolving into incoherent mumbles. A hiss of pain went unnoticed, Kel unaware the compression was killing Basil’s beaten ribs.

“Did she do this? Did she hurt you?” Desperation laced each word. There was no answer. “Basil! Tell me!” 

“Hm… let go… please.” The plea came out all mousey. The embrace instantly separated, just enough to lay sights on Basil’s tear-stained eyes. 

“I’m so sorry, how could I let this happen…?” An arm slipped under weak knees and soon he was carrying the weak body bridal style. His quick movement forced a sharp whine from Basil. 

“Sorry!” Kel yelped. He climbed downstairs and propped his friend up against a wall, feeling him wince and whimper in the process.

“I know, I know… I’m going to fix this, okay?” Kel’s voice softened, cupping a hand around the now bruised and scratched face, then rubbing his thumb against it lovingly. Two still perfectly beautiful round blue eyes stared at him in euphoria. 

Chapter Text

Dust swirled in the air, the faint moonlight clinging to it and illuminating the room sufficiently. Time seemed to stand still in Kel’s little world, he dipped some rag into a makeshift bowl of water, lifting it to wipe his angel’s wounds. Gently the rag would swipe against an open cut and draw a whine from Basil’s lips. He seemed to smile as Kel dressed his injured skin, while also making these unbearable hisses. The two were so engulfed in their moment it seemed the distance between them went unnoticed. That is, the lack of distance. Kel was practically centimeters away from melting into his patient, so focused on tending to him, meticulous with every touch. His shoulders were tense, every muscle in his body most likely cramped by now. He held Basil underneath him, the blonde relaxed and loose despite the buzzing pain. 

A full bandage roll later Basil was messily draped in white. His little healer clearly lacked the grace to wrap bandages properly, but it wasn’t such a big deal, really. With heavy hands Basil was suddenly turned to face the wall, the abrupt change stirring him from his idyllic state. 

“What?-“

“Oh Basil… look at your wings!” Kel lightly brushed his hand against them, Basil flinched away. There was a pause. “I’m sorry, I know they’re delicate, but you need to let me help you…” Basil’s face scrunched and he looked to the side conflicted.

“Well… I…” he bit his tongue. “Alright, but only because it’s you.”

Kel smiled for a moment then quickly redirected his focus to the wings. Firstly, he lifted a few fingers and ran it through the soft coat. Soft was not even beginning to describe it; the unharmed feathers felt like god given silk. A cotton ripped from heaven’s very soil. Soon however his knuckles contacted some seared feathers, bent at their roots in odd angles. Some edges crumpled under his touch leaving behind a black dust. The feeling was jarring, Kel swallowed hard. He took a damp rag and wiped all the grime away in slow deliberate strokes. Even the lightest touches made Basil wince, every move became increasingly difficult. Nevertheless, Kel cleaned his patients wings and bent each and every feather back into place, selfishly rubbing them between his fingers. 

Eventually he encountered patches of raw pink skin where stems were ripped from their soil entirely. His breath hitched, unsure if he should touch those areas. Lightly, he applied pressure with the rag, Basil shuddered and made one of those unbearable hisses again. Kel apologized profusely before grabbing a second roll of bandage with his free hand,

“I know, I know… there’s a bit of blood here, I’m going to need to clean it off…” then again the brunette pressed against those tender spots of skin. Basil whimpered the way an injured animal would, he dug nails into his knees. Disheartened, Kel wrapped some scarred parts, not too tightly. Carefully he brushed through the feathers again with trembling fingers, neatening out their look. There was this shift in Basil as his wings were now being lovingly brushed, he made this quiet noise, almost a purring sound. It caught Kel off guard for a moment, but he took it as a good sign and kept brushing.

“Do you like this?” He murmured, the corners of his mouth tugging into a smile. Basil laughed gently,

“It’s nice.” He mumbled. “We used to do this, me and the others. It’s usually normal but… it feels different when you do it.”

“Different?” Kel tilted his head.

“When Mari brushed my wings, well, for one she uses an actual brush. Its bristles are so light I don’t even feel them. It’s to keep me from looking a mess, that’s all. She does it for Sunny too. Like we’re baby birds or something.” Basil gazed off, smiling like always. “…but your hands are so rough, nothing like our brushes. Your movements are so… intentional. I can’t help but like it.” 

“Oh…” The whispers seeped into the brunette’s ears and warmed his face. With a silent air the brushing continued. He dwelled on the conversation in his head, imagining what a peaceful afternoon in heaven brushing Basil’s wings would be like. 

  ———————————————

It was past midnight when Kel had taken his phone off silence, reading the thousands of missed messages with a hollow indifference. The image of Hero, his own brother, began to painfully hinder into a threat. Even considering him that was a heartache but the consideration was necessary. Anyone could be out to get them, even him—no one understands Basil quite like Kel does. He thought Aubrey might be different, that she could see the angel and repent instead of lash out, but unfortunately humans see beauty and instinctively try to destroy it. It was clearer now than ever: he’s the only one worthy of the purity and grace that is Basil, others will simply try to hurt him. Well, no one else will ever get to see or hurt him again. 

 After looking blankly at the bright screen for almost over a minute, Kel was overcome with this surge of unadulterated fear for his beloved. His thumb hovered over the miniscule flip phone buttons briefly before turning silent mode back on, then impulsively deleting every contact he’d ever made, every number ever gathered and saved as a connection. He cut the string off to each and every one of these people, vanishing them from sight. He saved Hero for last, breathing hitched and hands jittering, Basil noticed it all.

“Ease up,” the blonde put a hand on Kel’s tense shoulders, soft voice interrupting the silence. “Maybe you should get some rest, was Hero telling you to come home?”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m not going.” Clicking his phone off, Kel’s face painted every frustration clearly for Basil to see. The latter had this subtle joy in his eyes before shifting into a caring and concerned expression. 

“Why not?”

“He’ll never let me leave the house again, I already know.” Letting out a heavy breath he pressed two fingers against his temple and continued, “I don’t care what it takes, I’m staying by your side Basil.” 

“That’d be lovely... i-if you had the resources. I wouldn’t want you starving or freezing to death any time soon.” The comment felt logical yet for some reason Basil hesitated between each word.

“I’ll figure it out,” Kel replied with a gaze locked on the boy in front of him. The cold air attempted to stir his attention, he ignored the outside world despite it.

“Figure out what, exactly?” There was this slight edge to Basil’s voice, he gently slid his hand against Kel’s arm.

“I’ll get food, when it’s safe. I can stay here with you—I have to.” He searched deeply into the angel’s eyes for some form of approval, he was met with the gentlest stare. 

“And if they come looking for you?” Basil’s hand trailed down to Kel’s wrist. “We’re not hard to find.” 

“We’ll search for a new place to hide, they’ll get tired of looking.” He spoke frantically, obviously trying to convince himself.

“Hero won’t...” the angel tapped the floor, adopting a challenging attitude. 

“Hero hates going outside...” The thought of Hero coming, dragging him away—no, that couldn’t happen. Without thinking he squeezed Basil’s hand, hard. “He’ll give up eventually and I’ll be pronounced dead, then we can live in secret together forever…”

“Ahaha, you’re willing to leave your life behind for me?” The angel twirled his left twin tail with this cheeky smile. “Isn’t that a bit extreme?” 

“Basil I swear I’d do anything for you.” The declaration came out breathy, incredibly desperate. “Hero’s better off without me. You need me.” 

“Really?” Now it was hard to read the blonde, but he didn’t seem to disagree much. “So you’re going to run away for me? Hm?” 

“Yes, I’ll stay by your side and protect you for as long as I live.” Kel spoke seriously, very seriously. Maybe the drowsiness was debilitating him from making smart decisions, but this felt like the best course of action. Basil smiled and shook his head in disbelief. He pulled his hand out of Kel’s strong grasp, weakly taking the brown head of hair and placing it on his chest, gently rubbing. 

“Oh Kel, you need rest. Maybe in the morning, you’ll find this whole idea silly, so silly…” Basil laughed softly, “but it’s okay if you don’t, too.”

Truthfully, the gentle humming that followed lulled Kel into a deep state of calm. All the physical and emotional exhaustion took a toll on his consciousness, eyelids beginning to fall shut. With a super glue strength he clung to Basil and wept, silently. He continued until eventually there was nothing left but darkness and the warmth of his angel’s arms. He fell asleep. 

  ————————————————

There was this strange ticking. Kel looked up at the wall, searching for a clock of some kind but there was nothing. The oppressive noise continued, over it played the sound of… light knocking? Like something hitting a window, very gently. Hues went from gray to beige, the setting shifting incomprehensibly. Suddenly it was afternoon and the golden hour lights were pouring from Sunny’s window. Candyland was on the floor, a pale girl in school uniform draped her long black hair over the board, Basil was tinkering with his camera in the corner, and the date read September 7th 1996 up on Sunny’s vintage calendar.

“Roll, Kel, it’s your turn.” The girl had a blurry face, but it sounded like Mari. She held out a dice, handed it to Kel. 

“Ah.. okay.” What was this? What was going on? He rolled the dice. It took forever to settle on a number but it happened to land on seven. Wait, seven dots? That’s not right-

“Oh, looks like you’ve won.” Mari smiled and clasped her hands together. This wave of unease washed over Kel. He stared at the distant girl as snow clouded his vision. This was a memory, but something was different, like he was watching an old tape filmed with a distorted lens. He heard the door click open downstairs. Mari turned her head, “looks like the rest are home!”

She stumbled to the door and went downstairs, it closed behind her on its own. The room fell silent, light and color slowly dulling all around. 

“….Kel, can I tell you something?” Basil in the far corner spoke. Kel turned his head to look at the boy, gasping in horror upon seeing the pool of blood spewing from his stomach. He covered his mouth and hurled.

“Oh my god! Basil!-“ in a second the two were hugging, neither of them moved beforehand, they just sort of snapped into an embrace. “What is it? What is it, Basil?” 

“Come find me,” he whispered. That noise from earlier returned, the light knocking. 

“…W-What?” Kel pulled away from the hug with tears already. Then, with spilled blood, Basil wrote a number seven on his hand. What was that supposed to mean? “I don’t understand..”

Basil sighed, “…that’s okay. I’ll find you myself.” Then he took Kel’s brown head of hair and placed it on his chest, beginning to hum. Kel eased up, leaning into the soothing sound. As he closed his eyes however the sound no longer felt heartwarming, but instead mechanical. It was no longer a song but a vibration. It was… it was a car engine. The knocking became distinguishable now, they were windshield wipers. Kel abruptly shot his eyes open and gasped. 

Hero was in the driver's seat; Aubrey was in the passengers. 

Chapter Text

Trusting your gut was a lesson Hero taught him long ago. When Kel was young, the world felt huge, and adventurous. It was a time where Faraway didn’t seem like such a small town. Down at the court he played ball with his friends. Basil, Sunny, and Mari always sat on the bench while he played with his brother and Aubrey. Then they’d go to someone’s house by sundown, eat, and play board games till it was late. He recalled many games; each person had their favorite. He played against Hero one night in ‘Guess Who’ and was losing by a landslide. Eventually his older brother noticed just how long each response was taking and concluded, Kel was overthinking it. In return the young boy got frustrated with himself. Hero smiled and said something like, “You don’t always have to know everything, Kel. But you do have to learn to trust yourself.” It sounded like something Mari would preach. “Listen to what your guts telling you.” Kel used that advice pretty often from there on, it might’ve made him a little lazy on multiple choice tests too.

He should’ve listened to his brother. Today, by setting his gut feeling aside for none other than Hero, he was betrayed.

  ————————————————

Maybe they hadn't heard him over the sound of their own thoughts, or perhaps the light rain, but Kel was awake and terrified. Looking at both car doors Kel frantically assessed his situation. It wasn’t far-fetched to assume Basil’s secret life after death was no longer so secret, so of course the first thing he questioned was the angel's presence. Very calmly he asked,

“ What did you guys do!? What’s- where is he!? What did you do to him?!” Aubrey was first to react, snapping her head towards the backseat,

“Kel! You’re awake! Oh, thank God…” Hero promptly turned as well, sighing with relief. Kel kept his guard up, looking at them both in horror.

“Why am I here? Where’s Basil??” He could see Hero’s concerned expression in the rear-view mirror, a dark shadow over his eyes. Aubrey’s face paled, staring with alarm. 

“What…?” Hero managed to say in disbelief first. It was there that Kel realized his mistake. Immediately he churned, wishing he had a shell to crawl into. 

“…I- where am I...?” He doubled down, avoiding any eye contact with the pink haired girl now startled and taut. 

“W-We found you in an abandoned building near the border of town… you had dried blood on you- you- you weren’t awake, we were terrified!” Aubrey cried dreadfully. 

“What happened?? What were you doing??” Hero questioned all disoriented, quivering hands seconds away from swerving into a tree.

“Uhm… I don’t remember.” What could he say? Certainly not the truth. He peered down at the alleged dry blood on his hands. Basil’s blood. Traces of it lingered on his shirt and legs and basically everywhere. He hadn’t noticed it before. When did it smear so much? Looking over, Hero’s knuckles were white. If he held on any harder the steering wheel might’ve snapped right there beneath them. 

“Kel, we need to know what happened. This is serious. And what’s Basil got to do with it?” 

“...I said I don’t remember. I must’ve hit my head or something. I don’t know why I mentioned him, it must've been a dream-” screech! Hero dramatically slammed the brake, everyone jerking forward with an overpowering force. Hitting the back of his car seat Kel grunted, “What was that for!?-“

“I have let you get away with this for way too long! Why don’t you tell me anything anymore!? Don’t you know how much I care about you!?” Instantly Kel looked up and noticed his brother in tears. He frowned, a tinge of guilt making its way into the younger one's head. Hero’s crying was as raw as it was at Mari’s funeral. It was hard not to wince. For a whole minute they sat in front of that red light and listened to a grown man wail into his hands. Kel could only envision 15-year-old Hero hunched over his beloved’s casket, and so he softened slightly. 

“Hero…” Aubrey whispered before gently patting his back. It was hard to feel anything but anger, Kel could only be mad at her, his life, and himself. How could he doubt his own brother? Maybe Aubrey would never understand, but Hero could. He’d know what it’s like, he knew how loving someone felt. If given the chance to protect Mari again, wouldn’t he take it? “Kel, please… just tell us why you went there at least…”

“I was just wandering, I’m sorry.” But despite all, Aubrey was here, he had to remind himself.

“But… Why is there blood on you? You’re not injured right?” Who could trust Aubrey anymore? Who’s to say she won't finish the job?

“I’m not sure, it might’ve been an animal of some kind, I don't remember. Honest.” He looked towards the window and suddenly became aware; they were entering the freeway. “Uhm, where are we headed?”

“An animal? You killed an animal, or you were attacked by one? It doesn’t seem like you’re in pain…”

“Aubrey, where are we going?” 

“Also, if you hit your head and don’t remember a thing, where’d you get the idea it was an animal?”

“I don’t know. It was a guess. Now where are we going??”

“Can you recall what led up to hitting your head?”

“ Where are we going??” 

“The hospital.” Hero chimed in, his voice was stuffy, there was sniffling. Their driver tried to compose himself, but the second he let his lip quiver another breakdown would follow. Aubrey leaned over and comforted him more. 

“Hospital? I’m not hurt. I feel fine.” Kel shifted with discomfort. Aubrey and Hero exchanged glances. She opened her mouth before gaining the breath to respond.

“...We were gonna take you there anyway, but you said… you hit your head? And don’t remember anything? We should check for a concussion or something…” she continued peering past her car seat, right hand dug into the leather. 

“But I don’t feel hurt… you don’t have to take me.” he insisted, already on edge from being so presumably far from Basil, who was unprotected at the moment, completely defenseless. She wouldn’t understand.

“Kel… something happened–-whether you remember it or not–-we need to get you checked.” her voice cracked, she could see her old friend's affliction. He seemed so distant. “Hey… it’s ok-” she reached out, probably to comfort him too, but the second her finger brushed his arm he flinched hard, snapping back like the gesture had burnt him. 

“...Don’t. Don’t touch me.” Remorse furrowed Aubrey’s brows and she pulled her hand away before retreating it into her lap. Tears welled up but she didn’t break down, instead biting her lip and muttering a ‘I’m sorry’ with what remained of her wavering voice. Silence overcame the car as she turned to face the front again, audibly holding back tears. Kel sat rigid, spiraling and sent into a shutdown, trapped in a situation he wanted out of. With both car doors locked and a threat in the passenger seat, Kel couldn’t help but panic. Like quicksand it felt only a matter of time till he suffocated, entrapped and unable to move. Slowly the scenery would shift into tall buildings and early light reflecting off its windows. He pressed his forehead against the glass and made one of those shaky inhales right before a person cries, except he didn’t cry. Instead, he conjured up a future where Basil comes and finds him, and they can finally be together. It was the only way to stay calm. Where had Basil gone anyway? They spoke in that dream. It had to have been him, the real him. In the view Kel lost his sense of time.

The car pulled into a newly paved parking lot, the setting now familiar again. He never quite remembered this place for the yearly checkups or the broken bones, never did he care to remember those times he was a patient. Instead, he remembered that horrifying waiting room, that deathly ticking, and the doctor who delivered ‘news’.

“C’mon, get out Kel...” Aubrey asked politely. He wouldn’t move. It wasn’t until Hero, with a red face, came and forcefully pulled him out the car. Under his older brother's hefty grasp, he didn’t fight. 

It wasn’t a busy day, the wait wasn’t terribly long, but waiting felt terrible. Staring at the wall Kel blocked everything out, turning his brain off until a doctor came. The halls felt longer than usual, a static covering his sights made walking unbearable. Then there he sat, to be studied like a subject. Hero and Aubrey were on chairs in the mid corner and the doctor was writing something on her computer. Hero was speaking, Kel wasn’t sure to whom or what he was saying. Then the doctor walked in front of Kel and flashed some light into his eyes, the action startling him into consciousness again. 

“Look at it, please.” She was a tall woman with fair skin and dry hands. He looked at the light as instructed. “Well, he seems fine, no clear signs of a concussion yet.” clicking the light off she wrote some things down. Kel kicked his feet anxiously, crinkling the thin sheet of paper beneath him. Moments later another doctor entered the room, an average looking man, possibly 40, possibly 50. With an intangible glare he took a good look at Kel, then whispered to his colleague. She snapped a glove on and nodded. The man turned, 

“We’ll have to run some tests. Can you tell us what happened?” 

“He won't,” Hero interrupted. “He insists he doesn’t remember a thing.” 

“Right.” that stone cold expression didn’t fade, not for a second. The first doctor, the woman, carefully took Kel’s blood-stained clothes in one fist, and swabbed samples with the other. Kel glanced to the side, laying eyes on Aubrey. She was silent, locked in watching as the doctor swabbed with this blatant unease. Doctor #2 spoke again, looking Kel in the eyes, “is that true? You don’t have any memory?” 

“No sir.” the lump in his throat begged to differ. Titling his head back down Kel realized the woman had capsulated the blood sample into a tiny glass. A slow realization seeped in at a growing pace, he looked back at Aubrey, and Hero who was now whispering to her. 

“Alright, we’ll see.” Vial in hand the woman fled, walking with urgency. His stomach twisted watching it, watching everyone’s expression suddenly shift. Except for the doctor. “Come with me.” Something spoke to Kel, maybe it was his impulsiveness, or maybe it was Basil, but he didn’t want to move. He shook his head. 

“Hold on, where are you taking him?” Hero spoke in a timid murmur. 

“We’re going to see if he really did suffer any brain injuries.”

“You can’t do that here…?” Can’t they not do it at all?   Kel clenched his fists and avoided eye contact, making himself look guiltier. The doctor looked down at him begrudgingly before speaking again, 

“No, to know for sure we’d need to perform a scan. Come on, Kelsey.” He held out his hand, Kel didn’t take it. He looked up at the man with disdain and possibly fear. A strong burning fear.  He shook his head again and the man frowned. From the corner of his eye Kel could see Aubrey lean over and whisper to Hero. What she was planning was beyond him. 

“Kel, you’re acting weird.” she eventually spoke up. Aubrey stood and took some steps forward. “Why don’t you want to go?”

“What won’t you tell us?” added Hero. He stayed seated, and scowled when Kel didn’t respond.

“Please,” Aubrey's dreadful crying started up again. “Tell us what’s wrong…” She took another threatening step towards him; he shifted his weight in the opposite direction. Kel’s mind was buzzing between Basil, Hero, and Aubrey. Maybe the doctor too. And the sink-–it was dripping. The door was open. He could hear voices coming in from the hallway. His breathing sped up. There were more people than there were before.

“...Nothing! Nothing!” he cried. His attention fixed on the sink for a moment. 

“Clearly it’s something!” She took another step forward. There was some desperation in her movements. Kel tried looking around for support, maybe one of the other two would come to his rescue, but neither could seem to speak up. 

“I didn’t...no, I'm telling you it’s nothing!” Another step forward. Kel faced his back to the opposite wall, avoiding her proximity at all costs. The voices outside sounded like men. They were accompanied by a woman. 

“Didn’t what? You’re clearly hiding something!” accusatory, she spoke. It wasn’t unnatural. She’s brash, that’s how it is. Brash, dangerous. Dangerous and approaching. 

“ Shut up! ” he snapped.

“ No! Don’t you see how you’re hurting us!? Look at your brother!” Kel didn’t look. Aubrey’s tone was familiar. She seemed closer now. Still, the two others were silent, watching Aubrey berate him. 

“I said shut up !” nails bit into his palm. His gaze shifted from the door to Aubrey’s knees. Hero and the doctor looked concerned at this point. They were on the brink of interfering. They were just so terribly late. Aubrey’s fists balled up, what was he supposed to think?

“Kel! Please!-” she reached out.

“ I said don’t touch me! ”

For a moment she looked angry. It was only for a few seconds, but he saw it, immediately concealed by despair. It happened so quickly, what he did. But soon, Aubrey was leaning on the sink with a hand to her face. He had hit her. Hard. It was a swift punch to the face and left her mouth agape. Hero stood up-–but was too late. Now everyone looked at Kel like some sort of monster. He wasn’t sure whether to stand his ground or apologize but either way he stood from his table bed at once. The doctor assumed he was going in for another hit and quickly apprehended him, Kel yelled in return. Hero came running, he checked on Aubrey briefly before turning to the doctor. 

“Wait! Let him go!” he had an arm around her for support. The doctor did not let go. The woman from before came in running, she snatched a walkie talkie and called security. Somehow, Aubrey still wasn’t done. Kel blocked out whatever it was that she said. He was too busy fighting for his life. Kicking the doctor, he dragged them both to the floor. Hero was distraught, he tried aiding Kel, or maybe the doctor, it was hard to tell. Security didn’t take long; they were right outside.

  ————————————————

In the 8th grade there was a mandatory forensics class Kel had to take. It was fun at first but bored him after the 50th lab. Sitting, detained, he recalled Sunny was quite enamored with the knowledge of how to identify a murder. Basil excelled in the subject, but he claimed not to care much for it. Aubrey just liked to make ominous threats using what they learned. Like: “shut up Kel, or you’re gonna need an autopsy!” something very threatening yet still very silly. Unfortunately, 8th grade was the year Mari died. In the fall they split up. She didn’t get an autopsy, it was obvious what happened to her, police weren’t called. Maybe that’s why he began to find the experiments so… unnerving. Not boring. He lied to his friends, saying the lessons were ‘boring’. Anyhow, that’s what the people outside were talking of, forensics. It became clear Kel was doomed from the moment he walked in. That sample of blood was sent to a lab. They had assumed the worst from the start. Kel was to stay detained till they identified if the blood was human, and if so, who’s. 

There was a knock. The door swung open and revealed his brother, standing there. They looked at each other and said nothing. Hero sighed before approaching Kel and sitting down, hunched over, elbows resting on his legs, he spoke, 

“...I’m so worried about you.” his voice sounded sick. Kel looked around and then back at his brother. The two of them were alone now, and there was this subtle urge to tell the truth. A subtle urge being stabbed with distrust. 

“I know.” 

“...they said the results won’t come back for a few hours.”

“Okay.”

“Can you… tell me something? Anything? Why did you punch Aubrey?”

“Hm. She was clearly coming at me, Yet I'm in trouble. It was an act of self-defense.” Hero looked just as concerned as before. He could only stare for a while.

“God… that’s just… not what happened at all.” He sighed again. Kel frowned, was Hero deluded or something?

“It is. Aubrey’s violent y’know--Well, you don’t know. You don’t know what she did.” There was a pause.

“Huh? Do you mean the whole… bullying Basil for a few years? I thought we were past that...”

“No, I'm not talking about that. It… It was fairly recent. The reason I went to the factory.” Hero perked up, leaning forward to listen. “I want to tell you but… you’d call me crazy.”

Hero shook his head, “No! No, I promise I won’t– please, tell me!”

“...If Mari ever came back to life… wouldn’t you do whatever it takes to protect her?” The room grew very tense. It might've been an abrasive question, but he had to put things into perspective. 

“I guess so…? Where are you going with this?” 

“Okay, listen, don’t say a word. You are going to listen to me, okay? Okay. A few days ago, at the lake by our old hideout, Basil came back from the dead as an angel and saved my life. I was confused at first too, but it was real! He saved me from drowning–I would be dead if not for him! Then... The bird sightings, that was just Basil! He has these huge wings, they’re very pretty, and really soft- and- and oh god his wings, Aubrey hurt him. I was hiding him in that abandoned factory, I didn’t want anyone to find him. But Aubrey did, and Jesus you should’ve seen the damage she did. It was horrifying, disgusting, and towards an angel! - no, towards her friend. She beat him nearly to death. Then she had the audacity to tell me, and act like it was nothing. Well, I ran to check on Basil and believe me, it was a heartbreaking sight. She’s the monster, not me!”

Kel could hear a fucking pin drop. Hero’s face paled as he processed everything, blinking rapidly trying to grasp what the hell was just said. He struggled to find the words, to even fathom any words. 

“Kel… what are you saying?” Hero’s voice was laced with such genuine disbelief it was jarring.

He couldn’t stop now, he had to make his brother understand, “I know how it sounds, but you have to believe me! Please! It was real–It was all real!” Hero got up and began pacing, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry... It… It sounds like you’re having some sort of episode…”

“No!” Kel jumped, “I’m not… this isn’t some sick way for me to cope. It’s real. You can even ask Aubrey!” He paused. “Well… actually- is she mad at me?”

“Um I’m not sure if mad is the right word, she’s just… conflicted.”

“Okay then ask her! Ask her what she did yesterday, what she saw, before I came to apologize.” there was a knock at the door. Hero looked at it then back it his brother,

“Wow um… Okay I’m not calling you crazy, but I think… maybe you need someone to talk to.” He put a hand on Kel’s shoulder with condescension. 

“I’m talking to you right now. Basil is out there–alone–we need to find him! Aubrey… she’ll hurt him again… or they will! They’ll take him away, Basil will be taken away from us again!” the younger boy pointed fingers, raising his voice to be heard. 

“Kel… I know you must be dealing with a lot of grief-”

“Shut up, I'm not crazy! They’re going to take him away!” 

“...what? who?”

“The doctors! Remember the waiting room? We thought they’d save him and Sunny!? Then they killed both!”

 Sometimes, when Kel was younger, his older brother would cry, and he didn’t understand why. There were some things that were too mature for him to understand… that’s what Hero would say. But he wanted to empathize, badly. To understand what was so sad, to cry alongside all the adults and feel he belonged. They wouldn’t sob or anything, just make this defeated expression and shed a few tears, hiccupping every so often. Kel mimicked them and began crying like that too. As time passed the burden of ‘not understanding’ was no longer something he had. Regrettably he understood it all but was unable to sob anymore. 

Now, however, at this moment, he could not in the slightest grasp why Hero began crying. The man did not respond, no, it fell silent. He took his hand off Kel’s shoulder then began sniffling as quietly as he could. “...what’s wrong? Hero- what’s wrong??”

“I love you so much, you know that right? That everything I do for you is to protect you, and because I want the best for you?” Kel frowned, there was another knock at the door. Neither of them acknowledged it. 

“What… What are you going to do?”

“Nothing… because you’re not a murderer.”

“Murderer?? Is that what they’re saying?” There was a beat, then Hero nodded. “...Can you tell me, please, that you don’t think I'm crazy?”

“I don’t think you’re crazy, Kel.”

“Do you believe me? About Basil?”

“Yes…”

“You’re not gonna send me away anywhere?” The knocking became urgent.

“Never.” Hero gave his brother a reassuring pat on the back before slowly getting up and walking out, greeted by a doctor behind the door, then swiftly closing it shut. Kel stared at that door with an air of unease. 

————————————————

It had been hours with no clear exit. Kel drove recklessly, past lanes and landmarks, tailgating and speeding, like the hospital had grown legs and was chasing close behind. The stretch of unfamiliar street names only added more stress. His mind would race until, finally, he reached his suburban neighborhood and slowed down. The sky was blue, but a warm blue, as the sun was almost done bleeding over the horizon. He'd been driving all night, and it was finally morning. Holding on to his determination Kel went, slow, and looked at each corner of every sidewalk. There south of the crossroad was Basil, wearing the usual green sweater vest. His hair was also tied up neatly, that was new.

Kel pulled over and lowered the glass, “Hey! Get in, what are you doing?”

“Hey Kel! Let me put my bags in the trunk, okay?” Kel rolled his eyes, impatiently tapping the dashboard. He opened the trunk and watched Basil dump an abundance of bags into it. Then very politely the blonde walked towards the passenger door and sat beside Kel. “So how are you?”

“How am I? Basil, are you okay?? What happened last night? Where’d you go?” his tone was frantic, desperate to see the angel again.

“Ah, the day before yesterday you mean? I fled. Hero and Aubrey came to collect you, and I couldn’t let them see me. Rest assured, I am hidden deep in the woods. I am ok.”

Kel sighed, “good… that’s good. So, what are we going to do? Are you gonna come help me?” 

“I’m sorry, I can’t go anywhere until my wings are healed.” Basil pointed to his back. Granted, at the moment there was nothing there. “But tell me about your situation, dear.”

“Your blood was all over my hands, literally. I was brought to the hospital and all they saw was some criminal. I was detained.” The car started beeping, it was low on gas. “Fuck… Basil, if they test your blood, would it be identified as human? No, right? You’re not human.”

“It shouldn’t. But in reality, I have no idea. I wasn’t even aware I could bleed until that day.” Some frustration seeped between them and their car seats. 

“Wow. Is that really even you, Basil?” Kel turned to him with a tired laugh, “Is this actually you talking to me? Can you enter my head?”

“Yes silly, my thoughts follow you into your dreams!” Basil replied cheerily.

“Whatever that means…” Kel scoffed. The car kept beeping. He internally cursed and slowed his driving down. “How long until your wings heal? I miss you.”

“It won’t take long, no not at all. Expect maybe on your second day.” The beeping sped up, Kel punched the dashboard.

“Damnit! Second day of what?”

“Oh, I'm sorry love...” The beeping stopped. Kel awoke to the sound of bickering outside. He had fallen asleep on three metal chairs somehow, and without a single muscle cramped. Looking up at the clock it read four about to be five in the afternoon. Cautiously he locked eyes on that door again. The voices from outside were surprisingly clear. It was Hero, Aubrey, and some adults. They sounded devastated, upset, mad . Hero cried, saying he wanted to speak with Kel’s doctor, and then the chatter stopped. There were some whispers, but it took a while to hear anything else. For some reason his breathing sped up and he felt chained to the ground. There was nowhere to go and nowhere to put his stinging anticipation. After an eternity had passed the door clicked open. Kel immediately stood, expecting a familiar face to comfort him, make the unknown no longer so unknown. It was a complete stranger, accompanied by another complete stranger. One grabbed him but Kel knew better than to fight again.

“What’s going on...?” That man began dressing his wrists in handcuffs.

“The blood was human, and it wasn’t yours.” 

Kel was stunned, lip quivering he replied, “whose is it…?” The second stranger raised an eyebrow, nearly laughing.

“Well, we don’t know, but until then you’re not going anywhere.” The stranger sighed, “but you’re a lucky boy, and your brother ‘pleaded insanity’ for you. He got a doctor's reference and convinced me to put you in a facility instead of jail.”

Kel froze. The walls around his heart caved in and crushed it to death. 

Hero tried to hug Kel and say goodbye, swearing it was only temporary. Kel didn’t even look at him. 

Chapter Text

A thin rim of white light outlined the ceiling, giving an illusion that it was sourced from underneath. The illusion that something was under it, something white and bright. It gave the illusion that maybe if Kel could climb up to the ceiling and rip it off, peel its masking layer, underneath would reveal heaven. The light. That the doctors were hiding it from him, keeping it just out of reach, as a cruel tease. Kel didn’t bother looking at any faces–all the placeholders–what did they know? Over the course of a few hours incompetent doctors had colored him a murderous lunatic. Yet how unaware they were, ordering a search for a body that didn’t exist. 

Rolled above rows of tiles, Kel pondered. Possibly about Hero, and maybe the aching curiosity, as to what claims crawled up his throat that night. Taking that designated role as a protector, Hero led him here. Was it really all for his own good? 

“Is this place actually better than jail?” Kel turned to the young woman now walking next to him. They took his clothes and his shoes. It wasn’t a nice experience. She was supposed to give him a tour or something but they’d been traveling in silence for a minute now. She only nodded, but that didn’t feel definitive enough. After a few seconds she finally began speaking, Kel listened but not attentively. He was staring down at his feet. The socks felt kinda nice. They passed the inpatient units and Kel was shown his room; cold and unwelcoming. He stepped inside and then was left alone. Well not too alone, as he had a roommate. The guy was some short little red-head boy, said to be 15 but he looked a little younger. The kid also said his name, but it went into one ear and out the other. Kel didn’t pay any mind and went straight to bed. It was late at this point and tomorrow he’d be a day closer to Basil.

————————————————

“Ah! You’re finally here!” Basil smiled solemnly, opening the green door to his house. Kel looked around a bit before entering, a surge of sorrow bleeding into his core. Basil’s house was up for sale in the real world, no one lived there anymore. But it was Basil’s childhood home, the only place he had ever lived. He recalled being told it was his grandma’s for ages, that she raised her family in that house. The lawn no longer had those beautiful plants the angel worked so hard on, Kel could never be eleven years old coming over for cookies again. Polly didn’t have the money to buy it, but she said it was a beautiful place and she wished she could, ‘In his memory’. 

Kel took a step inside and looked around, knowing the interior would never look like this again. He turned to see Basil all smiley still. Maybe they were both feeling nostalgia, just different kinds.

“So what’s up? Here, sit, let me make you some tea!” Basil skipped to the kitchen and boiled a pot. Kel sat at the dining table, taking in its restful atmosphere. 

“Well… I’m a little scared. The hospital is… eerie. All the workers look unfriendly and the patients even worse. My roommate is okay, though. He’s just some kid, looks around thirteen” He shrugged. “But I’m still baffled, your blood tested human.” 

Basil paused for a split second, creases furrowing into his expression before slithering away just as quick. He propped up a smile and spoke accordingly to Kel, “Ah, I’m so sorry about that. I wish I could’ve warned you. But I simply didn’t know…”

“I just don’t understand. How?”

“Uh… I guess maybe… my body’s becoming more corporeal now? I’m not sure. I didn’t even think I had organs. I mean, I wasn’t eating, and I’m still alive.” Basil bit his lip, looking down at the stove longer than necessary. “But I’ve been a little lethargic lately…”

Kel perked up, “Basil, do you think you’re turning human?”

He let out a small, breathy chuckle. It didn’t come out quite right. “Hah! What? Don’t be silly! I’m still an angel. I can visit your dreams, I still have my wings, I can return home when I’d like.” The pot squealed; Basil jumped, all startled. Promptly he poured the water into two cups, hands more hurried than graceful. “Angels, who were once humans, don’t just… become human again, that’s unheard of. It’d be like coming back from the dead, or something. Last time I checked, I’m not the freaking messiah!” Basil laughed, a lot louder than expected. Kel took his teacup and blew the steam away, analyzing this shipwreck closely now. 

“Sorry, I guess that was pretty stupid of me to say, haha…” he took a sip, for some reason, almost able to taste. There was this muted warmth behind the beverage. “So, uh, all those times I dreamt of you after you died, that was actually you?”

“Y-Yea, sorry if I visited too often…” Basil’s voice dipped, something left unsaid behind it. 

“No, not at all! It was comforting, actually.” Kel scratched at the back of his neck, unsure if he should push. There was a silence that lingered.

“But… you’d always end up crying…” Basil’s voice was soft now, real fragile. Round eyes traveled into Kel’s, taking a hold of his very soul, before wringing out its glee clean. 

Kel set down his cup and reached out for Basil’s hand, “Well, cause I missed you… but you’re here now.” There was no immediate reply, just a gaze which held on for dear life. His smile remained, as out of place as it felt. Something dark–something hidden, flickered in Basil for a moment. As quick as it left, his smile was replaced with something more mischievous. “Uh- what’s the matter?”

“Nothing, is there a problem?” Basil’s playful tone didn’t hesitate to put him in a chokehold. Basil was too close now. Teasing, testing him.

Kel made this flustered chuckle, “No…”

subtly, he leaned forward, daring to kiss Basil. The angel, at a convenient moment, pulled away–leaving him halfway there. Despite the failure to make any contact, his heart was left racing. 

“Y’know how I said I’d come get you on your second day?” Now stirring ice around in chamomile, Basil smiled with innocence again. His eyes didn’t quite match. “Well maybe expect that date to fluctuate a bit…” 

“H-Huh? Why?” Kel quickly pulled himself up, recovering. There was this unbearable burning in his cheeks. 

“Well—ow!” A bright light flashed Basil in the eyes, he squint them shut. Kel, caught off guard, quickly turned to see where it came from. He was snapped awake, back in his crumby hospital bed. The dark was abrasively disrupted by some person with a flashlight. After both Kel and his roommate woke up only then did they leave.

“What was that??” Kel grunted.

“They’re just checking in. They do that every night, continuously.” The little boy responded, turning on his side to sleep again.

“Why??”

“Protocol.” He shrugged. Kel couldn’t return, as much as he wanted to. He became acutely aware of the blanket touching his skin, every little breath he took, and most importantly the tense moment with Basil. Being awake in the pitch dark and dead silence was unbearable. Kel turned to the side and faced his roommate,

“Hey… hey, is this place actually better than jail?”

The boy was silent for a second before whispering, “No, and I’ve been in both.” 

Kel really couldn’t fall asleep after that.

————————————————

His name was Boy. Well no, that wasn’t really his name, but Kel began calling him that, cause he couldn’t recall what Boy’s name actually was. In the morning they walked past the recreational center then to a pharmacist. Kel was forced to take medication. He didn’t have any prescriptions and was never previously taking any, they just sorta prescribed him some. Following his acquaintance around he could feel himself drowning in the monotony of the walls. The recreational area did have some colorful couches and blue tables, though nothing too eye-catching. There were magazines and table tennis and patients milling around like ghosts. Boy was sat beside Kel resting his head on his hand. He had insisted the two sit somewhere far in the back, they were waiting for someone, apparently. “I’m not a good example, Kel, I’m sorry if I spooked you last night.” 

“Oh it’s fine… So this place is better than jail?” There was slight relief behind his words.

“Depends. For me it isn’t, but it could be for you.” They didn’t talk for a while after that. Boy wasn’t much of a conversationalist. Then came his little friend. Suddenly, he was. The guy sat across from them, Boy got up and sat on his side, leaving Kel isolated. Nobody commented, why did it matter? Guy (that’s his new name) looked quite brooding. The kid had these dark eyes, accompanied with a hefty glare. Guy was introduced to Kel and from there they talked aimlessly. It was soon established the only “fun” thing to do here was stare at the clock till group therapy or play appropriate games with people. Settling on a deck of Uno Boy shuffled with the precision of someone who’d done it a million times before. 

“I’m bored already, can’t we do something else?” Guy started up, leaning his head back dramatically. The sandy haired kid smiled, all patient, before handing him and Kel seven cards. There didn’t seem to be much bargaining when it came to Boy. They played about ten rounds until Kel was sick to his stomach. He’d won a good amount, board games and card tricks being mastered in middle school with his friends and all. Still, he lost several times to Boy, who had an uncanny emptiness on his face as he played. For the twelfth time sturdy plastic was tapped on the table in its stack, Kel’s fingertips digging into his skin at the irritating sound. 

“Sorry, excuse me, is there a bathroom around here?” He stood, stumbling back a bit. Guy almost immediately shot up to show him,

“Here let me-” but at the same time Boy snapped his hand forward and seized Guy by the wrist. 

“Let’s both show him.” His tone was flat, icy eyes darting from Kel to Guy. The grab was far from gentle but there was an air of solicitousness behind it. Three diffident boys now walked down the hall. Kel thanked them both before clicking the door shut and taking a huge breath. The moment he closed that door unease stabbed him in the chest, the pain proceeding to bleed down to his stomach. He felt sick, skin paling. Everything was just so unreal. His palms pressed down onto the sink, fighting the urge to throw up. It’s okay, he’s okay . Kel splashed water on his face, trying to calm his ever expanding lungs. After a couple deep breaths and breathy lies he was able to lift his head out the sink pit and look in the mirror. 

“Where are you Basil… God…” He hissed at his own reflection, beginning to wonder if there even was a god. His little breakdown lasted a quick few minutes, before recollecting and managing to stagger away from the mirror to actually use the bathroom. It felt inconsiderate to keep Boy and Guy waiting, even if they barely knew each other. Kel washed up, rubbing soapy foam between his hands under mildly warm water, humming as the foam washed away. 

Thud! 

“ No!- Let go! Let go! ”

Kel froze, hearing Boy’s whiny voice outside screaming in agony. He flapped his hands frantically, water droplets flying across marble and glass. Swinging the door open he peered around the frame to find towards the end of the hallway a group of nurses arguing with Guy, two holding Boy down by the arms.

 Interested, Kel sprinted over, “What's going on??” 

“I!- I didn’t mean to upset him!–Stop! You’re being too rough!” Guy tried to run forward but was blocked by a woman's arm. Looking down at Guy, it was hard not to feel pitiful, empathetic even. Kel’s attention slowly drifted towards Boy, a sudden horror dawning on him. The nurses had the poor thing pinned down, kicking and pleading for his life. What could have possibly happened? The nurses spoke so indifferently to him, like he was supposed to stay calm in a position like this. “Hey! Hey! stop! Let him go!”

“(Guy), you know we don’t do this unless we have to.” the young woman sighed, “I thought we told you two to stay away from each other, this always happens… keep this up and-”

“ I didn’t do anything wrong! Neither did (Boy)! ” Kel noticed this bubbling anger in Guy, it felt so familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it. It wasn’t sharp and unexpected like Hero’s anger, but it also wasn’t frantic and relentless like Aubrey’s. Perhaps more of a mix. Kel tracked Guy, eye’s tracing down to his now clenched fists. His gaze flicked from the staff, to Boy, then back to Guy. Now it was hard to recall when or who he heard this from but acting out here definitely doesn’t go unpunished. When Guy began raising his fists Kel felt conflicted to do something, unsure where that conflictedness came from. He instinctively ran to help this person, despite only meeting a half hour ago. Supposedly workers here aren’t to restrain patients unless as a last resort–they’d let Guy throw that punch. So, Kel grabbed his wrists, and pulled them right behind his back. 

“The hell are you doing!?-”

“Calm down, you’ll make things worse…” looking over Kel watched Boy be sedated, still trying to attack the nurses with what little strength was yet to be drained from him. His pleading echoed the sterile halls, slowly becoming incoherent nonsense,

“ No!- (Guy)! Please!- Stop!- go! Let… don’t… leave… go…” screams broke into sobs and sobs broke into silence. 

It was strange, but Guy didn’t fight back against Kel. He wore a defeated expression and just stared. “They always do this to him…” he muttered, more to himself than to Kel. Now the goal was to keep Guy from hurting anyone–but he expected some sort of struggle–he almost wanted one. What does that say, If Guy can just give up on his friend so easily?

“You didn’t tell me what happened…” Kel let go, standing to the side again. The nurses had now dragged Boy away.

After taking a few deep breaths he began, “You took a while in the bathroom… so I- we were talking- there’s a bit of a long story behind it, but I said something that upset him. I-I was too harsh and he took it the wrong way and started arguing with me, so stupidly I argued back! but then after that he didn’t retaliate and just broke down. I-I should’ve known better but I always forget to watch myself!-”

“Hey, it's okay,” Kel stepped forward, “It was clearly an accident… um, I just don’t get why he reacted that way..? Was it that bad? And wasn’t sedation a little much..?”

“...(Boy) is… well he’s got a multitude of diagnoses, it’s not his fault. You just gotta be careful what you say around him. And… he takes everything I say ten times as seriously. I hate hurting him. I love (Boy), I really do- but those nurses, they think they know what’s best. They don’t! They don’t know him like I do!” 

“Uh huh… I get it.” Kel kept nodding, he really did get it. 

“I’m going to get him out of here, I’m going to save him, and- and the two of us can finally be together without those stupid workers pestering us.”

“Yes that’s.. that’s amazing.”

“Huh? You think?” Guy tilted his head, puzzled. Kel nodded again, one of those really enthusiastic nods where your eyebrows lift and your eyes widen slightly. 

“You should do it. Do whatever it takes to save him.”

The other lit up, quickly becoming comfortable, he began going on a rant to Kel. For the first time in a while, Kel actually listened attentively.

————————————————

After noon Kel went back to his room, too worn to stand. He sat on his bed, staring at the one across from him. Empty. The sight left something bitter on his tongue. There was this hopefulness behind hearing a person so lost in life gush about their lover.

From what could be gathered, Guy was admitted by his own family after having a dreadfully long depressive episode and almost dying. Boy, conversely, was admitted by law enforcement for a crime that wasn’t his fault. It was most unavoidable, though. They met four months ago and started dating a week after their first meeting. Must’ve been true love or something. He found it was hard to decide what was worse, getting trapped in here by a family who claims to care, or thrown in by cold strangers to be dealt with. Those swirling thoughts were soon interrupted by a swinging door, 

“Knock knock, you’ve got mail, Kel.” Boy threw a plain white letter onto his bed. “They were keeping it from you, your welcome.”

“What?- are you okay? What happened?”

“I feel much better now, thanks. Who’s Aubrey?” Boy sat down with his elbows up on his knees. Kel froze.

“Aubrey?” he opened the mangy letter, it had already been read, multiple times, clearly. “How did you get this?”

“Reject letters get thrown out, and I saw your name in the trash bin, alongside an envelope.” There were several questions that came to mind. A major one being why?  Why write to him? And what made the letter get rejected? Opening the damaged case there was now a display of her shaky handwriting layered with grime and Boy’s curious fingerprints. Or maybe the nurses. He read the greeting, “Hey Kel” Just… Hey Kel. No punctuation either. Such a casual opening, so friendly. The sight killed his curiosity, grossed him out even. He groaned and put the letter down. 

“Take it, I don’t want to read it.” Kel threw it aside.

“Huh? Really…? Do you at least want a synopsis?” Boy shoved the letter into his drawer.

“…you read it?” Kel raised a brow. His roommate smiled and shrugged. “…Don’t, I’ll read it later, when I feel like it.” 

“Oh okay… so who’s Aubrey?”

“Hey, aren’t you tired? They just gave us like a ton of drugs.” Kel leaned back onto his bed. Boy could only chuckle, slipping his legs under the covers, tucking himself in.

“Goodnight, then.” He was still laughing even after having laid down. 

————————————————

The house was nothing but dust. Wooden frames laid cold on the floor surrounded by debris and such. It was so odd, but behind the now demolished structure, was a hidden garden, covered head to toe with sunflowers. Was this Basil’s doing? Stepping past thick rubble Kel walked up behind his angel, who was hunched over, on his knees, cutting a large weed with shears. 

“Basil…?” 

“Ah! You startled me.” He got up and dusted off. Strangely, only wearing this blue robe, tied with rope. Kel stepped closer, leaving little space between them. 

“I’ve been wanting to speak to you all day, what’s going on? where are you?” 

Basil frowned, “um… sorry I- I’m having some issues getting to you. It’s just- well-“ Kel was holding him by the shoulders with a deprived grip, which he will admit, might’ve been off-putting. “…my wings. They healed, but for some reason… I can’t fly…” 

“What?”

“This isn’t permanent! I can fly, it's just harder now… um- much harder…” he was fidgeting, a lot. Basil always had relatively short nails but he kept them just long enough to be able to pick underneath. It’d make this clicking noise, perhaps he found it calming. It was a habit Kel’s surprised he remembered, considering Basil hadn’t done it in so long. Yet there the blond stood, picking and scratching. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay…” Kel gently took both of Basil’s hands and held them up. Back then he learned It was always important to alleviate Basil before he began spiraling. Then, out of nowhere, there was this pinching feeling all around Kel’s ankles. He looked down and noticed dark green vines wrapping themselves comfortably around his lower legs. The spikes were prodding at his skin, slowly climbing up. “Ow! Basil! What gives??”

“I-I can’t help it! Sorry!” The vines slowed down but they wouldn’t stop climbing. “Kel- I’m so sorry! I don’t know why I’m… I just… Kel, maybe I should go back home…”

“…home?” Kel looked behind them, the words setting in. “I hope you don’t mean heaven, or whatever.” He dropped Basil’s hands, taking on a cold tone. To the brunette boy this was nothing far from an insult. 

“I’m not meant to be here… I can’t- do you know how hard it’s been for me these past few days?? I’ve been trying to keep it together but it’s just- I can’t!”

“Basil, you are the only thing I have left. Please, you can’t be serious!” Kel pulled a foot from the vines' hold, taking another step forward. “You know why it’s been so difficult? Because we’re separated—and now I’m not there to protect you. When we’re not together, everything is just hard. Okay?? That’s the-“

“Stop! Okay!” He stumbled back and held fists over his eyes. The vines took hold of Kel once again, a sharp feeling now working its way up to the torso. Kel ignored it, gritting his teeth. “I’m sorry… I’m-… losing myself.”

“Not at all.” Kel reached out a hand, the vines traveling over it like a bridge and lightly crawling onto Basil. “You finally are yourself!” Basil looked at him in shock, eyes glistening over, and something dark flickering in his expression. The vines took a hold of his neck and he choked out a sob. When was the last time Kel ever saw him cry? 

“I am..? Really?” The two were pulled closer together, against either will. Basil couldn’t move, the plant tightened around them till breathing became nearly impossible. Struggling against creeping tendrils he pushed each vine with thin yet unwavering arms. “Ugh! I’m sorry! I cant control-“ 

“It’s okay, don’t apologize.” Kel’s voice was firm, like the vines constricting them, and unlike the desire driving him to surrender. Their chests pressed against each other, Basil consequently looking to the side, as to hide his vulnerability. This was inevitable.

“But I am… I’m sorry… I’ll come find you Kel, you’re right-“ Before he could finish Kel desperately grabbed the blonde’s face, etching a clumsy kiss onto his lips. Basil’s breath hitched, but he didn’t fight it. Hunger took over and Kel suffocated them both right there, drowning in the soft texture, sighing heavily. The further their exchange deepened the further each thorn impaled them, yet it felt too good to stop. 

Until it stopped.

Kel woke up wide eyed and out of breath, twitching from the phantom pressure of the now missing vines. Cold air slapped him on the back but he was too winded to make a sound. Quietly he let the realization of what he did creep in. Shame set a tent up in his stomach, cueing him to curl inwards. Cursing, Kel bit his lip, unsure what it all meant. Unsure why he did that. The sound of shuffling snapped him back to life.

“(Boy)… (Boy)!” Kel didn’t move, but could recognize the voice as Guy’s. There was some more shuffling before Boy finally woke up. Still unmoving he listened to the two whisper, he couldn’t pick up on much but the name Kel was definitely in there. “Should we bring Kel?” Or something like that. Then they fled. The second he was sure they were gone Kel sat up and stared intently at the door. It was just a smidge open. Creeping out of bed he lightly pressed his polyester socks onto cold white tiles. It was 4:45 meaning that stupid flashlight check didn’t wake him. There was some light stippling through the blinds. He found himself walking down empty halls, how strange it was they were empty.

“Well I changed my mind! Let me go.” 

“Quiet, (Boy)... You'll get us caught.” Guy dragged him further down the hall, Kel following behind from a safe distance. He was surprised how far they were getting—where had all the doctors gone?

“I said no! I don't want to!” Guy clamped a hand over Boy's mouth, the force compelling even Kel to flinch.  

“Why? Why are you doing this to me??” Guy whispered, harsh, almost pleading, as he searched for something, anything, in Boy's eyes. “I just want to save you.” 

Boy shoved the hand away, “Is that what you want? At what point is it.. Is it less about saving me and more- more about having me?” Boy stammered over each word, staring down as if he was popcorn reading.

“That doesn’t even make sense. Did your therapist feed you that? Since when do you listen to her crap?” 

“Don’t know, but maybe I should’ve started sooner...” 

“What? This place is a hellhole, no way you actually want to-“

“I think one of us should be transferred, (Guy).” The silence that followed could’ve drowned them all, a cast shadow trembling alongside its owner, struggling to breathe.

“…Transferred? Like—one of us should move to a different…? you can’t be serious.” His hand wavered, reaching out for Boy once more, trying to close their looming distance. “You really believe her? Do you think I don’t care about you? That I’m selfish??” 

“No- I’m sorry, don’t get mad please. I just.. I don’t do well out there. If I leave, I’ll fall apart again, and you’ll be forced to abandon me." Boy looked down at his hands. "But... I know how badly you want this…”

“I’d never. You won’t fall apart cause you’ll have me—and we’ll have each other.“

“(Guy), I want to get better.”

“Well, it won’t happen here.”

“You can’t fix me either.” Then they just stood. It was hard to say who started crying but there was an audible sniffling. Kel watched for about a half minute before turning on his heel and heading back to the room. He sped up with each step, sprinting down before he knew it. Arriving, Kel fell to his knees, hunched over the dust ridden floor for a moment. Then torpidly he crawled back to bed, sat up with legs flat. Looking at straight air, time passed. Nothing changed. There were some strange noises from the opposing side of his door, lips smacking, more whispers. Then Boy came back inside. They locked eyes, and he began to sob. The air came crashing down, heavier than the weight of his words. Kel got up and gave him a hug.

“I’m sorry.”

Chapter Text

A morsel of sunlight had become plenty, but its warmth was almost unnoticeable; for there was warmth all throughout the night, too. He was huddled amongst the soft flesh of mortality, taking in all its instability, maybe in some far away hope to harness it. Kel was known for the optimism and lovingness of a newborn puppy, yet Basil doubted even the kindest of people could succeed in loving his reality. To see Basil in such a grotesque state and still find the sympathy to look him in the eyes, without hindering with disgust, was an achievement that meant the world. There was no fighting the urge to vomit, but instead embracing every drop of sweat and blood onto his large jagged hands. Like bleeding didn’t make him any less holy. Swept away by a peaceful feeling Basil dug his face into the crook of Kel’s neck, holding the unconscious body with meticulous care. The moment shouldn’t have ended so soon, or maybe he should’ve held on longer. 

Hearing that car pull up, the sound of tires kicking dirt off the barren roads, was more confusing than scary. Well at first, of course. He sensed their presence, somehow. He saw it in some far away vision or something. Now they were panicked, that much was obvious. At this moment, so was he. Not wanting to wake Kel, Basil took a solemn look at the mortal’s face, then gently separated their bodies, propping Kel up against the wall. 

Moving was a pain, and that’s when the stress kicked in. Trying to climb a flight of stairs with possibly broken ribs was more than a challenge. Hell, getting up was more than a challenge. He couldn’t make a noise either, afraid of drawing attention. The angel crawled its way up, biting down till a metallic taste began to overwhelm his tongue. Unable to stand it just… crawled. Pathetically. Reaching the rooftop Basil accidentally let out a gasp, unaware he was holding his breath. Then on his knees he sat, listening close.

“Kel!” It was Hero, the sound moved quite quickly. He must’ve ran over.

“Oh my god! Call the police! Or- something!” That was Aubrey, her voice was always distinguishable.

“…No he’s- he’s just sleeping. I can handle this okay?” 

“What’s that all over his clothes…?” Aubrey’s voice wavered. Basil couldn’t help but feel bad, Kel’s shirt must’ve been tainted by blood. The two voices then became distant as they walked away. Or it might’ve been Basil’s exhaustion. Exhaustion? What’s with all these new experiences… 

The sun was no longer veiled by morning mist and instead marked itself on Basil’s ghost white skin. As his thoughts settled in Basil urgently stood, trying to fathom where to go from here. As a result he stumbled, he continued stumbling, and made his way towards the ledge. Placing one foot on the broken railing he tried to fly. It seemed his wings were far too damaged. Still, he had to flee. Hugging his torso Basil hurried downstairs, walking behind the factory and farther away from town. He entered the woods which surrounded Faraway, tripping over himself to keep upright. This is what he wanted, isn’t it? To feel such damnation? such agonizing pain? Of course it is.

There was a garden growing inside Basil, y’know. Like vines instead of organs, trying to rip themselves free. Eventually they’d tear him apart and leave only entrails of posies. These vines were all around but he’d quickly swallow them before they could harm a thing. He wondered how long that would last. It didn’t matter. Right now he had to get back to Kel. He felt like such a coward. There had to be a way, a form of figuring out where the three had gone. Aimless wandering wasn’t it.

————————————————

Kel was napping. Basil felt it. Finally, after feeling hopeless for what felt like lifetimes. 

There he stood in some grass along the tree lined street of his childhood, in front of that flowery home. Kel was to arrive soon, so to bite time, he decided some house cleaning didn’t sound so bad. Basil went inside and packed everything up. Everything he never got to get rid of. Then, once everything was ordered in bags, he went back outside. There it was, a speeding car with Kel in it. 

“Hey! Get in, what are you doing?” it wasn’t often Kel was so… Demanding. It was no cause for concern, but still, a noteworthy instance.

“Hey Kel! Let me put my bags in the trunk okay?” he made sure to not keep him waiting. “So how are you?”

“How am I?   Basil, are you okay?? What happened last night? Where’d you go?” Kel was riveting over everything but the road. Basil put on his brave face and spoke with a calm edge, 

 “Ah, I fled. Hero and Aubrey came to collect you, and I couldn’t let them see me. Rest assured, I am hidden deep in the woods, completely okay.”

Kel sighed, “good… that’s good. So, what are we going to do? Are you gonna come help me?” There was this pained expression that began to etch on the angel's face.

“...I’m sorry, I can’t go anywhere until my wings are healed.” Basil pointed a finger backwards. Granted, at the moment there was nothing there. “But tell me about your situation, dear.”

Kel ranted about his troubling day. Thoroughly during said rant, these visions of Kel getting taken away by doctors and different staff kept flickering in and out. Regardless, Basil really tried to provide some solace. Yet the frustration in his friend would not subside. Slowly kel turned and asked,

“…Wow. Is that really even you, Basil? Is this actually you talking to me? Can you enter my head?”

“Yes silly, my thoughts follow you into your dreams.” He thought by now Kel might’ve picked up on this…

“Whatever that means…” He scoffed. “How long until your wings heal? I miss you.” 

“It won’t take long, no not at all. Expect maybe on your second day.” 

“Damnit! Second day of what?” It was a rough estimation, angels are meant to heal fast. 

“Oh, I'm sorry-” then the beeping stopped. There Basil was, back in the woods. There was no choice but to keep venturing. At least now he knew where to go. 

——————————-

“Aw! What a precious little thing.”

His name was Cactu. At least, that’s what Basil named him. Cactu was an anxious bunny rabbit, who fainted at the sight of her newfound owner. Most likely out of fear, but Basil chose to believe it was out of overwhelming joy. They met a mile into Basil’s journey; at this point, his nerves must’ve been fried, cause the once stinging pain became nothing but a pinch. He lifted the limp slab of meat that was Cactu, slung her under one arm, and kept walking. With a frantic smile Basil spoke out loud to his pet, 

“You hear that Cactu? Those are hawks.” He hummed, “Yes, hawks. They’ll scoop you up with their large talons and make you dinner. I’m protecting you, see?” The forest responded, with its rustling leaves and windy gushes. Skipping over snapping sticks he danced with his thoughts for a bit, eyes locked on the road beside his flat covered feet. This road, placed conveniently in the woods, inconveniently led to cabin houses by the ocean. Basil’s skipping became unsteady, tipping over to the left. He had to get to the city. A city across said body of water. There, he realized his first issue. At this time of year, never uncommon was it for those cabin houses to be all rented out. A barrage of sightful witnesses awaited him. To get across the sea was to be seen. 

Then arose his second issue; to get across the sea, was to have flight. Basil’s wings were a tangled pair, limping downwards in despair. Now, god forbid an angel got hurt back at home, their wounds were always healed in no time. There's no clear understanding of what's in an angel's tissues or how their bodies manage to replenish, but it should be no different now. It shouldn't. Except it clearly is. His wings should've healed by now. Weaving a sigh Basil sat on the dirt, peering past the tree he chose to lean his back on. Through little spaces the mentioned cabin houses could be seen. 

“Ah… what am I to do, Cactu?” Basil lifted the bunny, cupping bony hands around its chubby upper body. How defeated he suddenly felt, after nothing but an aching silence returned to him, through not only the animal but mother nature herself. It fell quiet, like no one knew how to help him. Like no one wanted to. Fresh blood leaked out of former cracks on Basil’s lip, he licked it off before biting again. How useless. How useless of a guardian angel was he? Time and time again, Kel has had to be the one to save the day. Kel was the one protecting him, always. Things just don’t change, do they? Even with powers bestowed upon him by God, he stays weak. Weak and useless. 

“...oh wow! Haha, what was that? Jeez.” Standing suddenly, he slung Catu over one shoulder. Such intense self depreciation was unnatural as an angel. He walked closer toward the boulevard of wood houses, scoping out the area for any potential threats. There he squinted into the windows of people living at ease. He could only stare, trying to form an idea, any useful thought, anything. Then a loud ruffle brushed his ear. 

“Cactu!” The frightful rabbit jumped off his shoulder, running into the street. “No! Come back!” he hesitated slightly before chasing after Cactu, letting his heel hover over the paved road for a moment. Then he looked up at the frail little thing, speeding into evident danger. Basil couldn’t fail at the one thing he was made for, not again. So he ran towards the boulevard, trying to ignore every open window in sight. Darting under the lower fence the rabbit fled into a cabin's backyard. With an overwhelming impulsiveness Basil followed, leaping over the rail and lunging forward. Landing on his chest (which was ultimately painful) and into the backyard. He successfully captured the rascal. 

“Now why would you do that, buddy? Don’t you see I'm just trying to help?” He rushed onto his feet again, holding Cactu in the air. “Don’t you ever do that again-”

“ What the hell are you! ?” The horrified yell was accompanied by a tall middle aged man holding a shotgun. He was in a fighting stance with both feet glued to the ground. Basil scampered, trying to run out of sight, but the man came at him. In a panic Basil ran around and into the house, thinking rigidly. He swept Cactu under a table before sprinting into different rooms. It didn’t take long for the man to catch up. It didn’t take long for him to run out of rooms. “Get out of my house!” He lifted the shotgun and pointed it. 

“Wait! I–I was just-”

“I don’t give a damn!” He fired a shot through the window, missing Basil by an inch. Observing the man a little closer, the look in his eyes became recognizable. Stillness now settled in the room slightly, the alcohol stench could be picked up on, and the angry confusion in his expression became clear. Basil was almost sure he couldn’t talk himself out of this. Without taking a further moment to evaluate, he snapped forward, grabbing the nose of the rifle before reaching a hand out. Unsure what he was to do with that hand, Basil simply reached. A colder feeling made its way onto his face, and in a matter of a second some rough gurgling cut its way through the air. On their own accord Basil’s fingers curled inwards and dug into the man’s chest. This sickening crunch dryly rang through the cabin halls. The man tried to scream, but thankfully his heart stopped. In a shocking realization of what he did, Basil immediately pulled his hand out, almost taking a piece of the man’s ribs with it. There was a thump and now before his very eyes was a limp body.

“Oh… huh…” Taking a few steps back, Basil tried to fix his breathing, which was currently escaping in ragged gasps. Then after a few quick seconds he ran to the shattered window, stealthily peering outside to check if any of the neighbors were stirred. Crimson coated hands pressed up against shards of glass inducing the “angel” to wince. He pressed his hands further.  No one outside seemed to care, maybe the drunkard had a habit of making noise. In case anyone did come and check however… Basil put the shotgun back in the man’s hands, positioning the crime scene as to appear like a suicide. His insides churned, registering that he was doing this again. And again, he wouldn’t tell a soul.

 Then, walking languidly into the kitchen he locked eyes with Cactu, sitting still under the table. “Oh hey… uhm…” Cactu looked paralyzed in fear. Basil let out a chuckle before stepping to the sink and washing up. It was getting late. Frustration crept in, realizing he might not be able to keep that promise with Kel. Maybe it was best to come forward and admit it. 

————————————————

“Ah! You’re finally here!” Basil plastered a smile on his face, clasping his hands together with an exaggerated joy. Now he was ecstatic to see Kel again, even if it wasn’t physically. At this point his only motives seemed to all derive from Kel. However, he wasn’t feeling well, not in the slightest. Unnerved was an understatement. Nothing, though, made him happier than convincing Kel, and consequently himself, that everything was okay. So, that’s what he’d do. “What’s up? Here, sit, let me make you some tea!”  Basil ran over to the stove. 

“Well… I’m a little scared. The hospital is… eerie.  All the workers look unfriendly and the patients even worse. My roommate is okay, though. He’s just some kid, looks around thirteen” He shrugged. “But I’m still baffled, your blood tested human.” That’s quite the phenomenon, Basil almost made the mistake of appearing shocked. 

 “Ah, I’m so sorry about that. I wish I could’ve warned you. But I simply didn’t know…” surely it was nothing to worry about anyway. 

“I just don’t understand. How?”

“Uh… I guess maybe… my body’s becoming more corporeal now? I’m not sure. I didn’t even think I had organs. I mean, I wasn’t eating, and I’m still alive.” Basil bit his lip, looking down at the stove longer than necessary. He thought back on the man he killed, a strange feeling making its way into his stomach. “But I’ve been a little lethargic lately…”

He saw Kel perk up, “Basil, do you think you’re turning human?” Now it may look like that’s the direction his life is swerving towards, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. If Basil was human he wouldn’t feel so alien–so cold last night. It is true he’s been bleeding, experiencing self hatred, and exhaustion, but those could all simply be punishments. Maybe his time to be punished has finally come.  

“Hah! What? Don’t be silly! I’m still an angel. I can visit your dreams, I still have my wings, I can return home when I’d like.” The pot squealed. Promptly he poured the water into two cups, hands more hurried than graceful, he’ll admit. “Angels, who were once humans, don’t just… become human again. That’s unheard of. It’d be like coming back from the dead, or something. Last time I checked, I’m not the damn messiah!” Basil laughed, a little loud. Kel took his teacup and blew the steam away. He was staring Basil down, hard. 

“Sorry, I guess that was pretty stupid of me to say, haha… also, uh, I had this on my mind for a while but—all those times I dreamt of you after you died, was that actually you?” the room fell a little somber, Basil looked around for a moment. His childhood home, his grandmother's will. A will with no one left to give it to. Mom would sell the house, he knew the selfish witch well despite popular belief. He knew her absence and neglect, it told him all he needed to know. Then he thought back on all the wonderful times he and Kel had in the dream world, mood lifting moderately. 

“Y-Yea, sorry if I visited too often…” 

“No, not at all! It was comforting, actually.” Kel scratched the back of his neck. Basil felt, for some reason, he only said that to be nice. Being forced to constantly dream of your dead loved one sounded like torture, in hindsight. 

“But… you’d always end up crying…” He said. Kel took Basil’s hand in a harsh motion.

“Well, ‘cause I missed you… but you’re here now, with me.” Then Kel leaned close. It was real sweet, his reaction. Basil felt bad for lying to him, guilty beyond belief. He dug that guilt down and tangled it in his lie, put a blanket of deceit over it. He focused on Kel, and his kind gesture. His face was closer, his face was quite pretty. Basil always admired his hair too, thick and smooth. And don’t even get him started on that smile… Feeling a little cheeky Basil leaned in even more, just to see if Kel would get flustered. To which he did.

 “Uh- what’s the matter?”

“Nothing, is there a problem?” Kel made this adorable chuckle, 

“No…” And now Basil felt a little bad, noticing he gave the mortal an impression that something else was going on here. Which, something may, but Basil had no plans to pursue any kind of romance at the moment. Especially in this form. So when Kel tried to kiss him, he dodged it and sat back up. That was enough playing around, time to do what he came here to do. 

“Y’know how I said I’d come get you on your second day? Well maybe expect that date to fluctuate a bit…” 

“H-Huh? Why?” Kel quickly pulled himself up. He was red, how cute. 

“Well— ow!” out of nowhere an abrasive bright light flashed Basil in the eyes, then he was back in the cabin. Well that didn’t go as planned.

————————————————

It was relatively early, but not so early. Basil became tired of sitting on the floor and feeling gross. He got up and began looking around. Maybe he could find something out about the man he murdered, make himself feel worse, or possibly better. Getting up, it felt like the vines were poking at his lungs, making it uncomfortable to breathe. 

Basil opened a few damp drawers, under his feet appeared Cactu, 

“oh? Would you like to join me?” he smiled at the bunny before continuing. Inside were a few packs of Marlboro alongside opened mail from either the IRS or some woman named Rebbecca. Deeper down however, there were a few letters from the Massechusettes state mental facility and general hospital. The drawer bored him, he kept exploring. Inside the second bedroom (the one without a corpse) he found a vanity littered with old photos. He picked one up and found the dead man alongside a little boy, seemingly his son. The boy was this frail looking red-head with icy eyes. Maybe this man was just a troubled, divorced, struggling father. Now, that poor little boy won’t have a dad… Hm.

The vines began to wrap themselves further around his insides. Recently they seemed to be hyperfocused on his ribs, and now stomach. The pain almost resembled hunger, but he knew he could never be hungry. Not for food at least. He knew the discomfort and pain, it was all deserved. So much so, that he wished to amplify that pain if he could. 

“Cactu, where are you going?” Cactu skipped down the hall, Basil followed. That was until she entered the bloodied room, and sat right in the middle of its mess. “No! Cactu! Stop, you’ll dirty your fur…”

Stepping over the body he bent over to pick Cactu up, eyes locking on that broken window from before. Basil’s hands were still facing some aftermath from the glass. “Wait outside Cactu… okay?” He placed the bunny down away from the door and closed it. All the corpse stench had aired out, mostly. Basil rolled up his sleeves and sighed. Wow, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? 

Picking up some shards of glass he fell into this weird state of consciousness, the one where you feel as if the very moment was being observed through a movie screen, and you’re sitting in the front row unable to interfere, yet feeling everything. The shards were slick, indenting themselves into his skin, spreading it apart. Basil bit his lip. Shard by shard he cut and cut.

What was the point? He wasn’t so sure himself. Maybe to ease that garden, give the vines what they want. Maybe he secretly liked doing something so human. Basil looked down at all the open wounds before a slow frustration began to dawn on him. For the time being he was making up excuses in his head. But now, with arms slit open, his being still would not heal at an angelic rate. It wasn’t healing at all. Blood bud from every cut, and he began to feel somewhat horrified. Would he never heal? Was this his punishment? 

The vines snaked through his veins, making their presence known; it felt like they suddenly drained him. He turned around and laid eyes on that corpse. Everything went foggy, maybe it was the vines or the blood loss, but it was all hazy. A sudden weakness took over. Basil had no clue what he was doing, or what was going on, but his hand moved with this indescribable instinct and kneeled Basil down to grab the dead man. Then, something inside Basil pulled together his wounds with feeble thread. 

He drained everything left in that corpse. It withered and crackled. Snapping back into awareness Basil gasped, jerking his hand away in fear. He felt slightly replenished, energized almost. He had healed. No, this couldn’t be right. He drained energy from a body. 

Basil practically leapt into the hallway, passing Cactu, “This is okay… it doesn’t mean anything… It doesn’t.” 

He stopped and lifted the bunny, “Are you hungry little guy? Want a carrot?... I don’t feel like myself anymore Cactu… I wish I was like you. Innocent and- and burdenless.” Looking at the animal he paused, slowly thinking about his words.

 “I was like you once.”

The vines overtook his heart. Basil set the bunny down. 

“I have to… I have to go home, Cactu. This world has tainted me. It’s ruined me once again.” Basil could feel his face burning up, “Kel loves a lie… I need to tell him everything, Cactu. I need to.” But that wasn’t something so easy. Basil was a coward. Cowards don’t own up to things like that. Basil tried to fly again. Fly back home. It didn’t work.

So, when nightfall came, Basil found himself unprepared. He was anxiety ridden for the first time since his suicide, and those vines finally made their way up his throat.

————————————————

Every attachment he had to Earth had to go. The house had to go, the clothes had to be angelic again, and Kel… well, Kel could stay, maybe. The vines made their way into the ground and extended their garden. At least it was finally out of him. 

“Basil…?” 

“Ah! You startled me.” Jumping on his feet Basil chuckled. There were a lot of things he had to get off his chest. He inhaled deeply through his nose.

“I’ve been wanting to speak to you all day, what’s going on? where are you?” Kel grabbed him by the shoulders with a deprived grip.

Basil frowned, “um… sorry I-I’m having some issues getting to you. It’s just, well… my wings. They healed, but for some reason… I can’t fly…” 

“ What?” The harsh tone shook Basil immensely.

“This isn’t permanent! I can fly, it's just harder now… um- much harder…” one confession down two more to go. It was terrifying really, Kel’s expression. The thought of not being saved scared him, and that hurt. A lot. He almost wavered, unsure if this was the right path.

“It’s okay, it’s okay…” Kel gently took both of Basil’s hands and held them up. It was clear he was trying to help, but there was no need to get so… close. “Ow! Basil! What gives??” Basil looked down, realizing his garden had found Kel.

“I-I can’t help it! Sorry!” The vines hindered but they wouldn’t stop climbing. “Kel- I’m so sorry! I don’t know why I’m… I just… Kel, I should go back home.”

“…home? I hope you don’t mean heaven, or whatever.” The abrupt change in tone pierced Basil in the chest, and he began to panic, 

“I’m not meant to be here!  Do you know how hard it’s been for me these past few days?? I’m trying to keep it together but it’s just- I can’t!” Saying things out loud, Basil realized he sounded like such a failure. He failed to protect Kel, so now he’s just running away, leaving the job incomplete. 

“ Basil, you are the only thing I have left. Please, you can’t be serious! ” His cries hurt like no wound ever could. “You know why it’s been so difficult? Because we’re separated—and now I’m not there to protect you. When we’re not together, everything is just hard. Okay?? That’s the-“

“Stop! Okay!” He stumbled back and held fists over his eyes. Was it true? Did he really need Kel that much? A lingering insecurity took a hold of him. A certain guilt, too. “I’m sorry… I’m-… losing myself.”

“Not at all.” Kel reached out a hand, the vines traveling over it like a bridge and lightly crawling onto Basil. “ You finally are yourself!”  

The vines took a hold of his neck and he choked out a sob. Isn’t that what he wanted all along? Right now, Basil wasn’t so sure anymore. But Kel was right. Kel saw right through him. Kel knew him best. Basil’s hopeless again, he hates himself, he’s all nervous and erratic—and maybe that’s the way things should be. 

“I am..? Really?” The two were pulled closer together, against either will. Basil couldn’t move, the plant tightened around them till breathing became nearly impossible. Struggling against creeping tendrils he pushed each vine with thin yet unwavering arms. “Ugh! I’m sorry! I can't control-“ 

“It’s okay, don’t apologize.” Their chests pressed against each other, Basil felt his constricting. He chose to ignore the look in Kel’s eyes, as much as it tugged on the very strings of his fabricated heart. God, why’d he have to get so close? It felt terrible.

“But I am… I’m sorry… I’ll come find you Kel, you’re right-“ Before he could finish, Kel desperately grabbed the blonde’s face, etching a clumsy kiss onto his lips. 

Basil almost felt like pulling away, but for some odd reason he didn’t. It was humbling, being overtaken by a mortal like that. Kel was eating him alive, and in that moment he could feel the brunette’s every weaving breath, he could feel the burning need behind each push. Kel needed him too. They needed each other. Who cares about the past? 

Basil began to steadily push back, but Kel was stronger. He always was. There’s no saying how long it lasted or how far it went but once the dream ended, Basil found himself floored. There he sat, breathing heavily, in a manic state. Newfound revelations took over and then he remembered his motives. They were all about Kel. It didn’t matter what he had to do, or who’s energy he had to drain. Basil had a newfound power that could finally help his worshiper, it needed to be utilized. 

Basil checked himself in the bathroom mirror, the wounds on his body had all moderately healed, leaving nothing but faint implications they were ever there. That man’s body however, had not enough left to finish his wings. That was the problem. They were almost there, really. If only he had a little more, just another ounce of energy, some one mortal vessel. 

“Cactu?” The bunny sat on the kitchen counter. Maybe he was looking for those carrots. “Oh… Cactu… are you hungry?” 

Cactu looked up at him, twitching her nose, looking cute as ever. This unnatural force made its way into Basil, stirring around the chaos that was his mind. He realized something; finally a coherent thought. 

“…Oh Cactu… I really need this. I have to get back to Kel, remember?” Basil’s voice trembled. Without noticing, he had taken the small creature in hand. Then that sensation came back, the one from when he had been pulled towards the dead man. 

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… please forgive me…” He whispered. A surge of life force had seeped into Basil, flowing like electricity from each finger tip to each neuron in his brain. He shuddered. A bolt reinvigorated him within seconds. The animal withered away. Basil was never that good of a protector anyway.

He laid the bunny out on sunny grass to rest. At Least his wings were finally working again. 

This is what it takes to get to Kel, and Basil’s willing to make every sacrifice.

Chapter Text

“Marla Anderson died last night in the girls unit.” Boy sat there coloring on a crumpled piece of notebook paper. All he had was a green crayon and two broken felt tip pens. 

“Who’s that?” Kel asked in a teetering insensitive tone. 

“I met her a few times, she’s this real tall and skinny girl. Super numb, like she’s got no brain.” He sighed, “I get a little scared thinkin’ about her. Imagine dying here, all alone, with nothing but a nurse by your side? Never recovered or graduated from your restless state of psychosis and title as an inpatient? I’ve experienced all sorts of horrors, but still, I pray that level of horror never reaches me.” The room grew cold. “...(Guy) tried to use her death to escape... I convinced him to stay. Is that selfish, Kel?”

“...He was trying to get you to come with him, wasn’t he? One of you had to end up convincing the other anyway.”

“What if we had gone our separate ways instead?”

“You two? Impossible.” 

“I guess you’re right.” And back into silence he fell, grinding a beaten crayon along the sheet. 

Hours in the facility were like days. It’s only the third and yet a skewed sense of time had Kel thinking he’s lived there for months. The dream from last night was still haunting him. These bugging thoughts itched under his skin, and demanded to know what Basil thought, what Basil felt. There was something that stirred in him afterwards, too. Seeing Boy cry like that felt conflicting. It was the kind of whine that made you wonder what could've possibly gone wrong. The kind of weeping that has you believing you’re at fault. Boy and Guy really seemed to love each other. If their relationship was in shambles, what hope does that give Kel? Well, no better way to pass the time than to stir up solutions. 

“Where is (Guy), matter of fact?” Very politely he intertwined his fingers and smiled at Boy. “Did he not want to… join us?”

“Probably in the joint bathroom, seeing as they lock our rooms and all. Um… say, you don’t mind asking him something for me?”

Kel shuffled to stand, “of course not!”

————————————————

The faucet was dripping terribly. God, how that always bothered him. Kel shut it off before looking around the ligature resistant bathroom to spot a locked stall. Low and behold it was the handicap one, an anxious pair of socks pacing within, very much not handicapped patient inside. Kel contemplated knocking but then simply called out his name. 

“(Guy)...You in there?” 

“Kel…?” Guy unlocked the door, “um, what’s up?”

“(Boy) wanted to know if you hate his guts, or something.” Kel replied with an amused expression. Guy could only sigh. 

“Of course not… please tell me you didn’t actually entertain that thought, did you?”

“Wanted me to ask anyway. For good measure.” They stared in silence for a moment, a stark difference in their moods. Guy walked past him and towards the sink brushing his hair up in the mirror. “But uh, on a semi related note, is your relationship with him… okay? I mean is everything gonna be alright between you two?” Only then did Guy finally crack a smile. 

“Of course. You haven’t been around that long, but stuff like this happens.” turning the faucet back on he began to splash the cowlicks atop his head. Guy had dark hair, not quite black, but dark. “(Boy)’s like a lever when it comes to his mood and feelings and whatnot. Or like a switch–off and on, and off and on, and off and on again.” As he spoke he twisted the faucet forward and back, smiling. “Kinda like it that way…he never gets boring.”

“Ah… okay-”

“My feelings for him never change. (Boy) is always changing. But at some point we always bounce back. He always comes back to me. Something always happens and it leads right back to me. We’re inseparable, practically made for each other…” Guy sighed, dreamily. Their bond truly was admirable.

“Well, I'll send (Boy) all your affections for you. Hope you can make it out of the bathroom some time soon.”

“....thanks.”

“No problem, friend.”

————————————————

This might be an odd fact, but Basil doesn’t have parents. Well to Kel’s knowledge at least. He always thought it was strange, growing up, never seeing both a mom and dad in the green house. Of course his grandmother was more than enough, but still. Being nine in a religious small town, seeing a household run with different dynamics was new. Though, there was a picture once, face down on a shelf in the hall. Basil said he couldn’t recognize anyone in the photo, but it had to be his parents. There was this beautiful blonde woman with floral accents all over her attire, and a brunette man in business casual. Basil’s dad was a brunette, isn’t that such a silly yet completely useless fact? What if Basil had gotten his genes, and endured a life of boring brown hair? Well, Basil could pull off any color, he’s got the looks for it. In fact, a brunette Basil would be quite the cute sight. He’d look like a little deer, with the prettiest doe glare. 

“Kelsey? You’ve got a visitor.” A nurse tapped him on the shoulder with a folder under one arm. He had been peacefully in thought while sat next to Boy, who was humming endlessly; And who also became instantly intrigued upon hearing the nurse. His eyes lifted up with this nosy look in their so suddenly keen focus. Kel sighed and crossed his arms,

“Who is it?”

“She said she’s a friend of yours-”

“Can I decline…?” The nurse took a step back, partly baffled. Possibly not. They all have poker faces. But then Boy, his expression was clear as day. It was shock at first, then frustration and resentment. 

“Are you sure..??” she asked again.

“Very.” Then Kel lowered his head again to think. Not of Aubrey, but back to Basil. The nurse soon ceased to be his only distraction. 

“Are you serious?” Boy grumbled, “That should’ve been me…! ugh, what a liar! ” The frustration in his cry rang throughout the room. 

Kel titled his head in tumult, “Huh?... Was someone meant to visit you, (Boy)?”

“Yesterday. Yesterday morning.” He bit his tongue, “My dad. His drunk ass was probably too hungover to drive.” 

“Oh!” Kel sulked, “I'm sorry about that…” perhaps he was being ungrateful? There might be several poor kids in here without a single visitor since the moment of their arrival… Yet why should he be grateful? What possibly could Aubrey be here to offer him? She should hate him. They should hate each other. “It’s just… the person visiting isn’t exactly in my best interest.” 

“My dads never in mine either. I just… wanted to see him again. At least once.” a deafening silence separated them, making it hard to speak. The guilt alone had almost convinced Kel to turn around and let that visit with Aubrey happen, but he couldn’t make the effort, really. 

“There could be a misunderstanding. Why don’t we ask the nurses? Or search the trash can? You never know.” 

“He wouldn’t hand write me a letter.” tone flat, Boy spoke.

“...could’ve left a voicemail… or some indication of his endeavors…” There were still glimmers of optimism in Kel. That’s nice to know.  

“Sure, I’ll ask! just to show you how little this man cares.” Boy quickly dusted off, standing straighter than ever before. He motioned Kel to follow, leading them down the cornering hall. Doctors eyed them, following their every move. “ ‘Scuse me, Nancy, did you get anything from my dad? Missed his scheduled visit yesterday.” 

“Your dad…? Well…” She took a breath, “how about you follow me to the check-in real quick?” Her eyes shifted between the two kids with a strange nervousness. Kel could see Boy’s expression shift in his rear-view vision, nails biting into the hem of their uniform. The kid almost forgot to take a step forward. On the way down, Nancy, or whatever her name was, took another nurse by the arm and whispered inaudibly to her. After a brief nodding the other nurse joined them in their travels. Reaching check-in, Nancy went behind the desk, shuffling through tiny plastic bins. The other nurse, opposed, stood directly beside Boy. He stiffened. 

“Um, what’s the matter?” 

“Your mother sent something last night. We were meaning to show you.” She continued digging through letters before quickly documenting something on the desktop in front of her, acquired letter in hand. 

“My… mother?” Boy frowned, “The hell did she send?”

“Proof of your father’s inquest.” 

Boy went entirely still. Eyes had now fixated on the letter in Nancy’s hand, though it were a bomb. “Inquest?” his voice came out brittle, not quite grasping the weight of the word. The opposing nurse put a hand on Boy’s shoulder and squeezed it. Kel stood there invisibly, only understanding the situation due to old forensics classes. The nurse nodded,

“Yes… your father… There was an incident. He passed away in his own home.” Her voice somehow remained neutral. It was obvious Boy was attempting to remain neutral as well, support nurse gripping his shoulder. It was clear now why Nancy brought her. Kel looked over, noticing the emotion subtly drain from his face, pointing at the woman in hopes she would correct herself, say there’s been a mistake of some sort. But no, she passed the inquest, carefully devoid of any pity. Boy read it, skimming the cold bureaucratic words over and over, standing frozen in time. The paper almost crumpled from the sheer force of his grasp. 

“ But… he was… supposed to visit me… yesterday… this isn’t… ” he mumbled, trailing off into a quiet whisper. Kel felt horrible, as even if the news was inevitably to reach Boy, it wouldn’t have happened so soon if not for prompting it to. So much for optimism. The nurse handed over some pamphlet about grief before going on a long lecture about how losing a loved one can affect a person's mental health, along with coping mechanisms or whatever. Kel, on the other hand, was ordered to keep put. 

“He’ll be having a visit with his therapist. Kelsey? You need to stay here just a moment.” She sat down, clicking a mouse three times. 

“It’s Kel. What’s wrong?” Having such a beloved nickname always got annoying in places like a hospital. ‘Kelsey’ was for when you’re mad, upset, or indifferent. In this case it was often indifference. Using ‘Kelsey’ often gave an unwelcoming feeling, signaling a harsh barrier between the user and Kel. 

“Well, I just realized something… Are you aware an order was sent for your release? Did anyone tell you you’re going home today? At night?”

His eyes widened, “What? today?? No one did! ” 

“Well, it turns out you didn’t actually commit the crime, and there’s technically… nothing wrong with you. Documented at least. Not to mention your behavior has been great, even if your therapist noted a few issues, none of them are a danger to anyone’s health. We don’t give beds to people who aren’t actual threats, and there aren’t a lot of beds… so, I'm afraid you’ve got to go.” It felt so out of nowhere, and raised a ton of questions. So he was deemed innocent? But no trial ever took place, they must have dropped the case completely. More importantly, would Basil get here before the time of his release?

“Ah… alright- I just- around what hour? And do you know who’s coming to get me?” He leaned forward onto the secretary desk.

“Eleven, sharp.” she clicked a few more times, “as for your second question… Hero Gonzalez. He’s listed as your older brother. Is that correct?”

“Well yes.. But–what if the time comes and… I'm not ready??” He stammered over the thought of being taken by Hero before Basil. 

“Huh? Personal feelings are things you need to bring up with your therapist this afternoon.” She then stood from the wheeled chair, tapping a stack of paper on the table before walking off. He watched closely as she left, and soon, he was running down the hall towards the recreational center. Boy, as expected, wasn’t there. Leaping into their usual table Kel slammed his arms and head right onto the bright wood, letting the darkness embrace his sights. The urgency in his veins wouldn’t simmer down, no matter how tightly he shut his eyes. Sleep, sleep, sleep, go to sleep. It was the easiest thing to do, back then, in class. Sat alongside his friends, snoring away, everyone laughing. Basil would tap him on the shoulder, ever so gently, ‘ they’re laughing at you’ he’d whisper. Then Kel would blush, realizing he did it again. Well he’ll do it again today, too, for Basil. 

————————————————

It was different this time, for some unknown reason. The space felt so foreboding, and the sky was dark. Like a gray leaning into black. They weren’t at Basil’s house, they were in Sunny's backyard. A shame due to the windy weather wrapping all around him. An even bigger shame because now he was face to face with a particularly familiar tree stump. He could only stare at it in regret for a bit. Unconscious regret. He stood with fists on each side, brows furrowed ever so slightly. Time felt meaningless for a moment. Then came Basil from behind, startling the hell out of Kel. The taller one turned around, laying eyes on this incredibly unsettled look. Basil was… scared?

“What’s with the face? I’m not that bad of a kisser, am I?” Kel chuckled awkwardly. He was never good at reading a room.

“...uh, no that’s not-” Basil bit his tongue. “...Sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Woah, why are you apologizing? I should be the one saying sorry. That was a terrible joke to make…” He laughed again. More noticeably nervous this time. No one said anything for a second. “Uh, can I ask about the… scenery?”

“Technically, I have no control over it.” Basil started clawing under his nails. Kel took the angel’s hands with gentle intention. At this point it was routine. 

“ My thoughts will follow you into your dreams? Have you been thinking of…?” There was no response. Basil simply lowered. “...Y’know it wasn’t any of our faults, right?”

“Can we please not talk about this? I spoke with Mari, I have my peace of mind." The request came out rather harsh. 

“Alright.” He dropped their hands. “So do your wings work now?”

“Yes! It’s uh… It’s a miracle! I was on my way to the hospital before this.” the mood seemed to immediately uplift. 

“Really? That’s awesome Bas! Um- yea, that's great… just… what time are you gonna get here?” Kel unconsciously bit his lip, words suddenly rushing out. Basil never worked well under pressure. To drop a time constraint on him would only stress the poor thing out. But there was a really hefty time constraint. 

“I… I think I can be there tonight? But late at night. Flying isn’t easy, I don’t have anything to follow, and I never lived in the city. My brains been all scrambled recently, the route to the hospital is blurry.” Basil spoke all quick, glimmering guilt behind his blue eyes. 

“...I’m being released tonight, Basil.”

“W…What!?” He gasped, lifting arms in distress. “Already!? I’ll be there as fast as I can, please, I just-”

“No no, it’s okay, calm down.” Kel sighed, “you can’t be there in time Basil. It’s near impossible. Just give me a realistic estimate.” he looked back down to find the deer tearing up, hiccuping with this heart shattering expression. “H-Huh? What’s wrong? I said it was okay…!” Immediately, Kel cupped hands around the deer’s face, a soothing thumb rubbing back and forth.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I think… I think I could only make it by midnight!” 

“Then by midnight I leave.” Kel pushed Basil forward before giving his forehead a light kiss. 

“What time are you scheduled to leave…?” He murmured. 

“Only Eleven! But I'll make a plan alright? I’ll leave before then. And then I'll hide out on the roof, lock the door, and wait for you. Then you’ll scoop me up and we’ll be gone. But don’t think for a second I'll leave without you, okay?” Kel kicked out all his words all in one breath, still holding onto his beloved with one hand. They looked each other in the eyes, not blinking, not even breathing. Basil nodded, and he nodded again. “Good… good.”

————————————————

Fuck.

Good job Kel, what's your plan? Huh? Miraculously steal the key and hope they don’t find you? There he sat, peering above the warm walls of his forearm, sighing heavily. The patients were gathering out. Must’ve been time for group; signifying mid afternoon. He looked around, trying to find an escape of some sort. No kind of therapy sounded appealing right now. Quietly attempting to avoid any nurse's gaze, he crept off the chair, separating from it like a caught robber putting his hands in the air. Then, venturing to the couches he hid behind the table tennis. That’s when Boy caught his eyes. He swiftly pushed past the crowd and into the bathroom. Something in Kel, probably the inability to mind his business, sparked him to stand up, and follow. He blended into the group of patients then stealthily snuck in. The loud door creak echoed, he set the thing down like a sloth in retaliation. Kel turned to find there were now two very much not handicapped kids in the handicapped stall. Getting into the one beside it Kel stood and listened. Boy was crying, wailing even. 

“I don’t know anymore- I don’t! I haven’t gotten Marla off my mind either! I just- are we going to die here, (Guy)??” His voice was so unsteady, cracking every few words. 

“You shouldn’t think like that.”

“I have nothing! Nothing at all! Even if I am released, like hell I'm going back to my mom! But- I don’t want to stay here- stay forever- I just-”

“You have me, (Boy)-”

“-I just want to be with you… don’t leave me please.” They didn’t say anything for a little while after. Boy continued crying and in return Guy kissed him about a million times. Then a heavy breath came out with some words,

“Is it even worth it, (Guy)?” At this moment it felt Kel had never heard a weaker sound. “S-Sometimes I feel like all we do is wait. We’re still, w-while the world around us changes–and somehow supposed to stay hopeful for the day we’re cured…!” Boy coughed, choking on nothing but tears. A loud patting followed. 

“What else can we do? It’s not our fault.” he could hear Guy stroking the other’s hair, “Nothing around here changes. Except us I guess, that’s all we really have . Each other .”

“We don’t change enough! Or- or never in the right places at least… Maybe we’re… maybe we’re meant to stay this way. No one out there cares if we get better. No one! No one! Ugh! They wouldn’t care if I disappeared!” Boy cried out all his words in catharsis, an experience which relieved all who could hear. Kel felt truly awful. Well, partly because Boy’s struggles were gut wrenching and all. But, especially because all his crying had given Kel a horrifying idea. Juggling with morality he stood leaned against two constraint yet revealing walls. Was he this desperate? 

…Possibly.    

He got out and knocked on the neighboring stall, “Hey, it’s Kel.” The two immediately snapped into silence. After a possible second of reflection, or tidying up, or whatever they did, Guy got up to open the door. Kel let himself in. “I just wanted to tell you guys… how much I admire you two. Thank you both for making me feel so welcomed the past few days, and I'm so sorry at how this cruel world has been treating you both.”

“Oh… thank you.” Guy replied. Boy stared in respectable silence; eyes wide, and knees hugged.

“That being said, they're sending me home tonight. Guess I'm not worth helping anymore.” He shrugged, “It’s tough, isn’t it? This facility doesn’t care about us, we’re nothin’ but numbers. They’re all such fakes. But wow, you guys… have something real. If I had a bond like.. Like this… i’d take advantage of it. I’d be brave, like you guys. Because I’d know at least I have.. Someone waiting for me on the other side." The memo got to them upon retrospection, but Kel had to make sure. 

“The other side?” Guy pondered. 

“Oh I just… y’know… was getting ahead of myself, haha. But think about it, no one on this plane respects us, so why not go to a… different one?” The whole room grew quiet. Was he good at this? Most likely not. 

“…yeah, yeah I guess that makes sense.” Guy mumbled. Kel gave a quivering smile, leaning back against the wall for support, as though the words he spoke were so fragile they might break.  

“You’re holding on for the wrong reasons, y’know. By doing so, you guys let this place trap you, keep you hopeful, then take your sanity without remorse. Maybe, in that case, the strength isn’t in waiting but in deciding to let go. Rebelling. All anyone here does is wait. That doesn’t make them any stronger. But you guys… you guys are strong.”

“There’s a place… where we don’t have to feel this way…?” Boy finally muttered, sat in the corner all shaken up and sniffling. 

“Yes.” Kel looked over at Guy, locking eyes with him. “You two can find it! Together.”

“Hm.” he was left staring at the floor, taking in every implied proposition. “Thank you…” he then muttered.

 Kel put a hand on his shoulder, “No problem, friend.” but behind the confident gesture was nothing but fear. And possible shock, over the fact that this actually worked. “Say, you don’t happen to know where the roof key is kept, right? I need it.”

————————————————

What are the requirements for going to heaven again? Was ‘thou shall not coerce others into killing themselves’ one? Well, somewhere in the subtext, it probably was. 

Half-past ten, intertwined was a couple under some shared blanket making remarks Kel couldn’t bother repeating. Boy had snuck Guy in, somehow. The things those kids got away with was beyond him, really. The issue: It was optimal that before eleven, the two had hands lovingly wrapped around each other's throats. That was their testament, to choke each other to death. The most intimate option, of course. Knees up, Kel stared down at the shuffling pile of fabric, almost with jealousy. Maybe his spiel wasn’t all lies, maybe he truly wanted a bond like theirs. They’ve agreed to die together for god’s sake. Maybe, one month ago, if Basil had offered something so romantic before deciding to kill himself- no, enough. This was about Boy and Guy–and their momentous suicide pact. 

It was just as flowery as anyone would think; breathy ‘I love you’s’ and gasping masked by smiles. Kel watched; they didn’t care. They might have been oblivious to his eyes, actually, So absorbed by each other’s whines. It wasn’t quick, and it looked very painful. But beauty is pain, isn’t it? The ghastly blue that soon covered both of their possessive glares was heavenly. Like the sky, the realm they’d soon belong to. Two poor kids with nowhere better to go. Perhaps Kel was doing them a favor. 

The noises became too much to bear at some point, and Kel found himself wrapping palms around his ears. With a smile, of course. A smile which wouldn’t waver. It went on for too long, but not once did he stop smiling, even after the tears began to tear their way down his face. Finally, when the kids stopped breathing, Kel walked over to stare at their lifeless bodies. It was a self-sabotaging act, but who wouldn’t want a peek? There he loomed, romanticizing the lack of space between them. The clock hit a little more than half past ten and Kel scrambled to get a few things. There were still some memories he'd like to keep. A few charms, a few pens in Boy’s drawer. Basil always liked the felt tip ones. 

Kel’s hand pressed against cold paper, startling him before the realization of what it was hit. He picked up Aubrey’s letter, callous and conflicted. Then, with a weighing hesitation, stuffed it in one pocket with all the other useless things. Kel picked the door open and made strides down the hall. Just as planned, there she sat by check-in. 

“Nancy! They’re- my roommate! - They’re dead! ” he put on quite the show, the tears from earlier really aiding. Nancy stood urgently, summoning the whole damn hospital over radio. As she slipped away Kel snatched the keys. 

————————————————

Hey Kel,

I’m not sure where to start. But know this: God doesn’t hold mistakes over our heads as long as we’re willing to try again. I am not mad at you and never will be. I pray for you, and hope that you’re doing okay. I always knew you were innocent, and God proved me right. Authorities dropped your case. That blood couldn’t be traced back to any person, and no body ever turned up. It was such a relief; you could not begin to imagine the look on Hero’s face. 

Speaking of which, I ordered your release instantly afterwards. Hero was not with me on this at first.. He claimed you needed the time. We argued kinda bad. Sorry, Kel. I tired Hero out till he eventually couldn’t argue any longer, selfishly getting my way. So here we are… Truth is I just really wanted us all together again. It’s the only way I can grieve and heal and get better. Only way I ever could. Being alone makes me do bad things. I miss everyone so much but at least I have you two. I can’t lose that. I don't know what happened that night, and I don’t care about the doctor's office, Pls just tell me you still care about our friendship. When you come back from the hospital, can we have another picnic? A do over? Please? I beg. Remember you are loved. Hero and I are very worried.

Warm regards, Aubrey.

Kel hated the fact he read it more than once. This couldn’t possibly be good for him. So, Kel folded the paper and put it back, looking up at the night sky in awe. There’s this strange nostalgia in cold air. The kind of chilly temperature that only comes from staying out late. It was so refreshing, and even if you were cold, it was a good kind of cold. Nostalgic kind. 

The wind picked up. Was that…?

“Basil!!” He leapt in the air, discovering a new kind of ecstasy in the process. Basil snatched him away, the two flying into midnight moonlight. “Oh Basil! I missed you! I missed you! ” They were thousands of feet in the air. Kel kept his eyes shut and clung on to the angel with a strong delight. In return Basil squeezed him, trying to balance midair. After making notable distance, wings slowed down, and they rested on some far rooftop.

“Kel… ah, it’s been too long.” he panted, smiling hard. “I missed our real exchanges.” Basil sighed. 

“...I want to be with you. I want to be with you forever.” 

“I’m not going anywhere ever again, dear.” 

“I’m ready to die, Basil. Let’s assure we’ll be together for good.”

“...W…What? What!? No!” He grabbed Kel by the shoulders, “Absolutely not!” 

Chapter Text

“Bad habits aren’t all bad”, she thought. On the kneeler, in the pew. Brushing a finger on some torn Bible, looking at the congregation of stuck up hags. Sunday service always held this strange, unwelcoming, yet soothing atmosphere—one she always clung on to, maybe out of faith, maybe out of habit. She could conference with the pastor about all this, but the weight of her worries tied her down to the seat, crushed like the glue between a nail and a press on. Most of all there was this fear, resurfacing and bubbling atop her head. Aubrey felt her voice could speak for no one anymore, that not a soul would understand. That they all left her, anyway. Where are they now? Kel said they’d never leave each other again, that he’s sorry for being so judgmental, not understanding what she went through. That he and the others will never abandon her like they did before. Where are they now? They weren’t there when Mari died, they weren’t there when Basil died, they weren’t there when Sunny died, they’re liars. “Some habits we must break, some we return to…” 

Except it wasn’t anger that drove her headfirst into these thoughts anymore, it was something much softer. She began crying, mid-sermon, no one bothering to turn. Muffling the sound into her arms, still kneeling, still praying. The ‘amen’ came out as a faint cough, and when everyone sat back down, she stayed on her knees. It took a minute, but Aubrey was quick to realize she couldn’t be there anymore. Only then did they turn, when heavy church doors creaked open. 

“The number you are trying to reach is currently unavailable. Leave a message at the tone.” Something Hero had in common with his brother, they never answered the damn phone. 

“Hey! I know you’re probably upset with me, and that’s okay. I understand, I do! I’m really sorry. Just please call me back. I don’t want you to stay mad at me forever and…  I don’t exactly have anywhere else to crash…” Her voice wavered towards the end, then she clicked a button and dropped her arm. It was true, no one had the hospitality to let her stay the night. The hooligans–the friends she thought would never leave her, unlike her old ones–were suddenly acting like strangers. One argument and everything just falls apart. How many times was this gonna happen? Why couldn’t Aubrey know how to control herself like everyone else? Why couldn’t she learn?

Her chest tightened, inducing a hiss. Crying right now would only make things worse, for the love of God, she couldn’t cry again. Then her thoughts circled back to Hero. She couldn’t lose Hero; the only somewhat sane link in whatever scraps remained of their beloved friend group. But, maybe she already had. It’s never too early to start panicking.

————————————————

She braced herself for disappointment before knocking. 

“Kim! Hey…” Aubrey started, voice light and rehearsed. There weren’t many options on the table, and it wouldn’t hurt to ask. Not too much, at least. “So… my moms kinda on a bender…”

“Isn’t she always?”

“Well… but now I’m sort of… locked out…? As in… of my house.” 

Kim crossed her arms, “Call your real friends.” Aubrey winced, bearing her response but unable to accept it. As Kim swung to shut the door she jammed her foot in front of it, sliding the entry back open and unconsciously slamming her hand on the frame. 

“You were a real friend. You were a really real friend.” She muttered, leaning closer, with faint tears blubbering between words.

Kim hesitated, giving an unreadable glare. “…what happened? Why won’t your buddies take you in?” 

“I’m not on good terms with Hero and… Kel’s in the hospital.”

“Did he try to kill himself? Is that my fault too?” If Aubrey weren’t already so tense, that might’ve just done the trick. Her nails dug into the frame. 

After a moment's silence she scoffed, “Forget it. I’ll find a fucking park bench.” Kim grabbed her arm,

“Wait-” she harnessed a sudden guilt, “You can sleep here. But only that, okay?” Kim looked fearful. She was never one to tolerate disrespect. That was until Aubrey, of course. She’d let Aubrey be as angry as she wanted, let their attachment stay as vibrant. Constantly Kim would be on her back, fulfilling her duty as Aubrey’s best friend. It’s no mystery why she wouldn’t want to care anymore. And as attached as she was, it had to be cut off. 

“No, don’t bother. I’ll get out of your hair.” The pink girl stepped back, dusting off her top.

Kim frowned, pitiful but demeaning. “Aubrey-”

“Seriously, it’s fine.” her voice came out sterner than intended. “But thanks. I really mean that, by the way.” without giving Kim a chance to respond, she walked off, hands barging deeply into each pocket. Maybe searching for her old friend in there, maybe nabbing for a chance to re-kindle. But there was no small flame that met her fingertips, there wasn’t even a lighter. Something beneath her ribs wanted to turn back around and take the offer, but Kim had been through enough already, another night of chaos wasn’t merited. Aubrey still reserved some undeserved dignity, and it wouldn’t want her sleeping on Kim's couch… or a park bench, actually. That was an issue she’d face later. 

Which left her… where, exactly? There weren’t any other houses she could dare to turn to. The answer surfaced after some dazed steps towards the right direction. Yes of course, the only things left of her, faith and bad habits.

————————————————

“Hey Mari, uhm… I'm back.” She sat beside the grave, not in front of it. Head rest against the stone. “How’s everyone doing..? I miss you guys, y’know.” The air began to give a breeze. Aubrey took it and huffed out her next words, “I wish you could help me. Tell me what to say to him.” 

The silence never hurt her before. Today it was painful. Wishing on a grave wouldn’t get her anywhere, it wouldn’t provide a roof over her head. It was meant to give the illusion of shelter, but today nothing felt quite right. Long gone Aubrey, praying on a ghost who is yet to respond. Now there’s nothing left to do now but sulk. So she cried, again. How many times is that now? Too many. Maybe it was better to be angry. The tears that formed from unadulterated rage were far more tortuous but never constant. She cried a lot less. Moping had a knack for leaving one exhausted. It wasn’t quite dark yet, but her eyelids gave the illusion it was. Slow was the sounds of nature that nurtured her to sleep, the closest thing to Mari left. Were the roots underground kind to her? How long till Aubrey met them too?

“ Aubrey! ” 

Her eyes shot open, unfocused, “Huh…?” There the figure stood, obscured by the sun. 

“Jesus christ–I was looking for you!” Hero grabbed her by the arm and pulled up, “Why did you leave like that?? I-” He sighed heavily, it almost sounded like disappointment. “I’m not upset with you. I don’t know why you thought I was…” 

Aubrey tore her arm back and cradled it against her chest, “You told me to leave,” she murmured, voice small.

“Not forever.” Hero put a hand on her shoulder and began leading the way. “I’m not going to just leave you homeless.” He was cautious with every action, careful as to not set her off. That seemed to be a common theme now, in all the poor souls who ever cared. But she couldn’t keep them on edge anymore, she couldn’t turn out as self destructive as her mother. Even if their faces would one day mold into each other, there couldn’t be a lifetime where their paths don’t diverge. She was going to make sure of it.

Hero turned on the TV and left her alone on the couch with a blanket and a strawberry smoothie, “I'm glad I found you before it got dark. I know Mari wouldn’t want you sleeping there.” Both of them froze for a moment, Hero biting his tongue. No one gets to speak for Mari; that was something Aubrey very vehemently preached. “Well I mean- i’m sure she wouldn’t mind the company-”

“I’m glad too.” Aubrey sipped, hollow eyed beyond repair. The reply came out so gentle it was harsh, somehow. 

Hero’s brow creased, expecting a snarky comment, a glare– something . He smiled nervously, “I didn’t mean anything by that, just so you know.”

“I know,” her tone still flat, “it’s fine.” The anger abandoned her too. How she longed for the day the despair would as well. Hero walked into the kitchen and kept himself busy. She’d been dragging him out the house all week, the man must’ve been restless. But he does need it, isolation is the gateway to greater evils. 

Ten minutes later he came over with a sandwich on a paper plate and handed it over, Aubrey mumbling a ‘thanks’ in return. Hero sat on the far side of the couch with a coffee in hand and stared. Not at the TV, but her. Aubrey ate quietly, avoiding his gaze. “You can talk to me, y'know.” he began. 

“Giving me the Kel treatment, are you now?” she smiled. It wasn’t an attempt to be cunning, but Hero didn’t seem to understand that. “Sorry. What I meant was… it’s nice of you.” things didn’t get any less awkward. 

“But are you… going to?” He set down the coffee and tried again.  

“Sure. On one condition.” Aubrey took the remote and shut the Tv off. “You have to go first.”

“What?” Hero frowned.

“You open up first, then I'll talk to you. Fairs fair right?” That, was an attempt to be cunning. Hero looked to the side and mumbled,

“I have nothing to open up about…” he shifted uncomfortably. 

“Sure you do.” she crossed her legs and faced him. “Let’s see… Your brother, your parents, Mari, Basil, and Sunny, college, your whole destructive way of coping, maybe the argument we had, other stuff- need I go on?”

“You can’t go on. I think that’s about it.” he ran a hand through his hair, “But I’ve sorted that all out already. I don’t see how discussing it… helps.” His fingers began twisting together and his gaze averted towards the wall. Hero was always a good liar. In her childhood, she always believed him. Honest Hero, reliable Hero. But now she’s finally noticed all the subtle tells, every obvious sign. How many times did she miss it as a kid? 

“I thought a doctor of all people would know.” Aubrey scoffed, leaning back, “You can’t lie to me anymore, I'm not twelve.”

He flinched, jaw clenching, “Well to me you kinda still are!” the words snapped out, instant regret appearing on his face. He sighed, “I mean- after being in college so long- not… getting to grow up beside you guys-” He immediately paused, realizing too many feelings were spilling out at once. And when she finally thought she had him. 

She rolled her eyes, “Fine then. Do this for twelve-year-old Aubrey. She’s upset, and won’t tell you what’s wrong, not unless you go first.”

“That’s silly, I’m not-”

“Jeez Hero, just do it. She’s upset.” And so they sat in silence. Hero’s head was fixed down. He teared up, a hand quickly clasping around his face. She didn’t say anything comforting, or offer a pat on the shoulder, she just stared. Thus prolonging their silence. Then Hero finally croaked,

“ I’m so sorry I failed you guys. ” He hiccupped, “ Is that what you want to hear? ” He broke down further. That was a good start, but Aubrey still kept her distance. It was not cold but deliberate–she needed to keep him going. 

“Why do you think that…?” She replied in an uncharacteristically soft voice. 

“ I’m.. I’m not the brave role model you all saw me as–I can barely keep myself together. After Mari died I-” It was as if the act of opening up physically pained him. Hero hugged his chest like each word gave him heartburn. He took a deep breath, as to dilute the tremble in his voice. “After Mari died, I should’ve been there. Sunny… Basil… I could’ve helped them… and…” He looked up at Aubrey with tear stained eyes. “I could’ve helped you.” 

Aubrey melted into a sorrowful demeanor. She nodded, “It’s not your fault, I'm just as guilty as you, if anything.” Then they fell back into silence. Aubrey frowned, “Is that all you got?” she barked, startling Hero. “Keep going!”

“Oh–Okay…” he fumbled, clearing his throat, “uh… I hate that you made me order Kel’s release. It made me feel like a coward. Like I can’t stand up to anyone. Speaking of my brother, he drives me insane! He won’t let me help, he won’t even look at me the same anymore. I’m so worried about him I can’t think straight!” Hero let out an annoyed grunt then continued, “How am I supposed to live my life?? Return to university like this?? And mom- apparently she has a baby on the way? Sally… How am I meant to protect her? I don’t want to leave my house ever again, and I hate that recently I’ve had to, I’ve had to a lot. And every time I do it's because of something bad, or creates something worse. I just want to lay down and die sometimes.” his voice rose, cracking at the end. “...Sunny and Basil are probably looking down on me, all disappointed. Seeing the real me and just… having their preconceived images shattered. I hate having to deal with all these problems, I hate losing people, and I'm losing Kel . One of the most important people to me, ever. So I'm sorry I've been such a bad role model recently, I really am, Aubrey.” Tears once again trailed down his face, the rant leaving Hero breathless. 

She smiled, put a hand on his shoulder, and shook her head. “Can I tell you something?” 

Hero nodded, “mhm…”

“...I always saw Mari as an older sister. But… sometimes, though, when I felt indulgent, I imagined her as my mom. Doing my hair, making my lunch, then sending me off to school… simple things like that. Well… when you and Mari started dating, as embarrassing as it is to say, I imagined you both as my parents. When you two kissed, I was the only kid who wouldn’t look away or hurl in disgust, because I fawned over the idea of having two parents who loved each other. Truly. And who loved me, too.”

Hero’s sobs grew louder, “ I’m so sorry Aubrey…”

“Nothing to be sorry for. I still think you're brave. I still think you’re a good role model. Y’know why? Cause you’re still, well, around. After everything, you’re still here. That’s pretty brave. I mean my old dad fucked up once and left without even saying goodbye.” She continued, "Even then... you're not my dad. You're my friend. And I want to be there for you the same way you think you need to be there for me."

It took a while for Hero to compose himself, breaths evening out over time, the weight of the moment still ebbing like a tide. But slowly they settled into a calm. Things went back to normal, and Aubrey turned the TV back on. She was too tired to pay attention. But, she got an idea in her daze. Aubrey had already sent Kel a letter, but there’s no better way to get her condolences across than… 

“Can we visit Kel?” she turned in a whirr. 

“Hm? Like at the hospital?” Hero spoke all attentive. 

“Yea, can we?”

“Um… I don’t think he’d want to see me.”

“No?”

“You should visit him, though. I’ll drive you tomorrow, okay?”

Aubrey smiled, repressing a yawn, “Alright…! I’ll talk to him, and I'll make things right. I’ll make him see how much we care, alright?”

“Haha… I believe in you, Aubrey.”

Chapter Text

At long last there was a moment of peace–nothing keeping them apart. No long distance, no concerned family or friends, no hospital, and or hospital kids, nothing between them. For forever should that last, and forever it will. 

Eyes drifting back to the dark expanse of a city sky, He thought back on it all. What has he learned? Maybe, that soulmates are real, just not in the traditional sense. It’s not about destiny meticulously picking compatible pairs; no celestial being could ever craft such raw, messy, human bonds. No, soulmates weren’t found, they were made. It’s about what you’re willing to do and who you’re willing to do it for. It’s about love, forged through tragedy. Yes, in the midst of being a liar, Kel realized he wasn’t lying at all. The life they live does not respect them, why in return should they respect its plans? Plans to separate them? Basil held this energy like never before; the arms of steel he once wielded felt warm, and they trembled. But they were still heavy, draining, almost. A loving, selfish feeling overcame Kel–and that’s when it hit him. His thoughts coalesced to form one final idea, horrible yet right. 

“I’m ready to die, Basil. Let’s assure we’ll be together for good.”

“...W…What? What!? No!” Basil grabbed him by the shoulders, “Absolutely not!” Kel blinked in shock, startled,

“Huh? I thought… I thought you’d love the idea..!” 

“Why would I want that??” Basil’s grip tightened.

“You came up with it first… saying all those things about wanting to stay near me? in one of my dreams you implied I should go to heaven with you..?”

“Huh–?” Basil’s grip loosened, realization softening his look, “Oh. Yes, I did do that, didn't I…?” he took a deep breath, stealing a moment to gather his thoughts. “Listen, I know you think you want this, but you don’t. I thought I did but… I realize now… I have a job to do.”

“A job?” Kel raised a brow. 

“G-Guardian angel!” he gestured wildly towards his wings. “All of that?? What else am I here for, Kel??” There was a frantic cadence to the question, one of crisis and dysphoria. 

“You’re here because you wanted to save me. And I already returned the favor. Let’s move on, take this a step forward!” Kel instinctively leaned closer, desperation seeping into his plea. Basil shook his head, 

“God has given us the right to be together, for now. Which is surprising in of itself… I was given the responsibility of keeping you safe and alive, I cannot fail.” 

“As if! God hasn’t done jack for me. Becoming my guardian angel was your choice, saving me was your choice. All god did was give you a new… form. Chance exists, yeah, but he has nothing to do with it. And chance doesn’t affect what we do with it either.” Kel pulled apart, standing to walk toward the roof’s ledge, cold air stirring in his hair.  

“What are you talking about? No, You’re wrong. You know that?” Basil was quick to follow, grabbing his rebellious pupil by the arm, “ Kel. you are not doing this.” There was a beat. Something… changed. It was remembrance, most likely. 

Kel shook his head, “I won’t jump.” He turned around, mood shifting. “I’d… I'd go to hell.” Basil gasped, then embraced him, the saint shaking his head side to side. Forlornly, he muttered a litany of ‘no, no, no’s with the tone of a child. This state of Basil puzzled him. Despite it all, cradling the blond with care. How strange he again suddenly felt–like an unforeseen exhaust took over him, like his energy was wisping away. Then they separated, and the feeling disappeared. 

“People don’t choose to be evil…” Basil began to whisper. “It’s all the things that happen to them. Circumstances make people do evil things…” he lifted, looking Kel in the eyes. “What they’re… forced to endure. The people they meet, the people they need to protect. Fate is what makes you do bad things. But you’re not bad, Kel.” 

“Fate.” Kel repeated, with an icy disdain laced around the word. “Well, Doing bad things doesn’t always make a bad person. But it eventually gets to a point, doesn’t it?” He smiled, not of glee, but something else. “People are just rotten sometimes. It’s not fate or destiny or whatever you wanna name it—it’s us. We do this to ourselves.” 

“You think you’re rotten? I can’t believe that. You’re talking nonsense. People just lose their way sometimes. And when they do, it’s not their fault. Everything happens for a reason!”

“Stop making excuses for me.” Kel scoffed. 

“I’m making excuses for the both of us! ” Basil cried, taking a step back, and hugging himself. “I have to believe we can change… that we weren’t made to suffer…” There was a silence, Kel eyeing him in further confusion. He almost felt like laughing, laughing at the ridiculous idea of Basil being anything perfect. 

“Excuses for what?”

“I don’t–” He took a shaky inhale. “It doesn’t matter. I stand by what I believe.” Basil stiffened.

“I’m sorry, but what you believe is just stupid. I mean…” Kel walked around, behind Basil, and gently held both his shoulders, “can you prove it?”

“I can.” he turned around defiantly,  “Just not now.”

So began their perilous journey, destination: somewhere sustainable. No real goal or specific location in mind. Basil wasn’t weak, per se, but he couldn’t fly with Kel for too long. He mentioned this irritable fatigue that had plagued him recently. It went away for a bit, then came back again. There needed to be an interval of recovery before he was up in the air, carrying weight he never could in his mortality. Except maybe for when they were kids, and Basil stood proudly, towering over the other. For a while Kel believed, even after his growth spurt, he’d remain shorter than Basil. That Basil would receive an even lengthier growth spurt, giving the two an unequal height for all years to come. Unfortunately, Basil grew a few three inches, then mistreated his body with malnourishment, battling against nauseating anxiety, and losing every time. He stayed the same; remained the same height, remained the same weight, and even after growing into older features, still remained with that light trace of feminine beauty within the crevices of his eyes, the glimmer inside of them, and the light contour of his nose.

 It was a nice visual for the trip, though, their trip across rooftops and city landscapes. This adventure felt straight out of a movie, the skyline serving as a beautiful division of land and sea. Kel looked down at the bustling streets and was overwhelmed with this urge to see the world alongside his soulmate. Especially from a point of view this… high. 

“Ah..! dammit…” Basil was bent over on a ledge, coughing dryly. Flying really seemed to tire him. An edge of guilt cut through Kel like a knife. He walked over and pat Basil’s back,

“Hey…”

“Honestly, Kel, what are we doing?” he huffed. “How long do we expect to live like this?” It had only been a few hours.

“Huh? What else can we do?” Kel had an idea, but Basil was restlessly adamant about not doing that. 

“Maybe I should take you back to Faraway-” 

Eyes widening, he cried, “No!” Then afterwards, Kel didn’t mean to get aggressive, but he slapped Basil’s arm. A little less than playful. There was a beat and quickly did he rub a palm across the hit area. “I… sorry. We’ll figure this out.”

Basil didn’t seem angry, nor irritated, just weak. “You need food. And a change of clothes. And I need… energy.” 

“Then you just rest, okay?” He paced to the other side, “Let’s stop for now, and-”

“Food and clothes, Kel. I’m serious.” From the moment they set forth on this aimless journey, Basil had adopted an over protectiveness of which Kel found charming, yet so very undeserved. Which by default, made it annoying. He rolled his eyes, frustrated with the fact Basil’s request was near impossible. Walking around in ward uniform and no money, equals zero fulfillment. Basil picked up on it too, which was most likely what warranted his Faraway suggestion. His wings were drooping recently, just barely lit by the early morning light. “Someone will spot me eventually… find us. I just want to help you.” He coughed again, hand clasping on his chest. 

“No.. we’ll figure it out! We always do…” Kel frowned, eyes trailing over to Basil’s hands. One on his chest, the other still resting on the ledge. There was a bumble bee crawling towards the latter hand. 

“Kel! Please, I wish I could do something… I wish I could be useful… I–” It stood there for a bit, then withered into nothing but a raisin. Charcoal black, dust chipping from its once perfectly round frame. Basil flicked his hand, biting his lip with an uncertain fear. He attempted to speak again, “I- Ah–! ” Basil inhaled sharply, the way a person would after being stabbed or impaled. 

“Basil?” Kel stepped forward, alarmed, “What’s wrong?? Hey–” Before he could reach, Basil doubled over, choked up. There was this familiar force of electricity, rings of light littered with watchful eyes. And then it happened. 

At first Kel could only stare in utter shock. Stare at the small helpless thing in front of him, unsure whether to scream or awe. He lowered his arm, blinking rapidly, focusing in on what was now… Basil? Was this Basil? A grin tugged across his face despite himself. He begged to be useful, didn’t he? This was quite the useful ability, if Kel was perceiving it correctly. He kneeled, then gently wrapped hands around him, lifting and holding him to level. Kel examined the things eyes, looking for a blue shimmering pair to stare back. There it was, Basil. Reduced into nothing but a meek little rabbit. “Oh wow…” Kel began. “How did you… could you always do this? Wait… are you stuck like this forever?” the animal began to squirm frantically. After a moment it curled up and glowed, turning into a snake, then a pig, then a dog, then a rabbit once again. Kel held it tight, too much almost. A golden light grazed his hands and within seconds Basil’s waist was in them. The angel gasped, immediately wrapping arms around Kel, panting and trembling. Kel held him, still grinning ear to ear. 

“See what God does for me, Kel?” Basil whispered. Kel did not respond. 

————————————————

Droplets trickling down an awning fell onto the oncoming concrete and ricocheted onto Kel’s shoes. Brand new, red and white. He looked to the ground and sighed, taking a few steps forward into the light. He couldn’t stand there for too long, bustling streets pushing their way through any obstacle. But for a moment Kel could properly see the sun reflecting off a skyscraper's cascade of silver lined windows. Down the line were a few quirky buildings built with limestone and others of pure glass, blended behind plots of trees in what could perhaps be called a boulevard. It was unlike any boulevard in Faraway, and he never came here often. Home was sweet and the city was sultry.

He was pulled back under by the canines of a blue-eyed doberman with bleached white fur. Kel pushed him gently to the side with his knee, “okay okay…” he huffed. Then after a moment's acknowledgement, Kel glancing down into the others gaze, he nodded. It was a command, not an unnatural sight for a supposed owner. But the doberman took it and ran, ran across the street to a poor vendor under a parallel awning. Kel watched, alert and ready. Wrapped in aluminum, a sandwich, or a meal of some kind, was held out to an unknowing random. Basil leapt, and in his mouth took it, following Kel into an alleyway afterwards. A yell followed, but Basil was quick, despite the blatant stagger. Dodging past perky civilians in office clothes and children holding ice cream cones, he returned to Kel’s side. The human laughed, for some odd reason. What thrill was there in a theft so insignificant? The thrill must’ve been in doing it with Basil. 

Deep into the alley, Basil shifted back. He was panting, exhaust visible in his expression. He took Kel by the hand, “let me see–what is it?” Kel unwrapped the aluminum to find a plastic container of rice over lamb. He smiled and loosened the top. 

“You want some?”

“Food doesn’t appetize me anymore.” Basil mumbled. 

“Well then how else do you cure your fatigue? You must be hungry, c’mon.” He pushed, handing the tray over to Basil. The blond hovered his hand over it minutely, but the lamb began to charr. Quickly he handed Kel back his food. 

“Sorry, no thanks.” The angel thought he was slick, but Kel tilted his head, before lowering it to see blackened edges of once perfectly cooked lamb. 

“Basil… is there something you need to tell me?” 

“Just eat your food, please.” The air between them grew thick, Kel swallowing it down. The rice was untouched, he ate bitterly. Secrets between partners never went well; it was the conflict in every drama, every movie ever made. And fiction reflects reality, doesn’t it? So Kel didn’t feel too irrational for getting angry, frowning at Basil, developing a resentment somewhere in him–just not in his heart, as it was already far too full of admiration for the saint. “So… Do we plan on being homeless thieves for life?” 

“I don’t like being a thief… I feel my chances of getting into heaven are lessening.” he twirled a fork in his food. 

“Oh don’t start.” Basil derided. 

“Do you think, maybe, if I did a good deed after every time I steal, things will balance out, and I'll be promised a spot upstairs?” the brunette proposed, mouth full of vegetables and rice. Was he actually unaware of the fallacy in that?

Basil laughed, “oh Kel, that is possibly the most Kel thing you’ve said in a while.” 

“Hey! I’m serious!” The two shared a moment, smiling and snorting. 

Then a trash can fell over, towards the far entrance. A ruckus of noise approached them, stirring a sharp panic into each. Basil flashed back into a dog, thinking anything but straight, and whirring towards the other side. Kel glanced quickly, spotting a few cops, and getting slapped out of his own shock. He followed after the angel, dropping his tray of food. 

“Hey!” one man called. Why they started running was beyond them both. Making themselves look undeniably suspicious was a poor move, for all they know, cops could’ve been there by pure chance. Well, they had stolen a catalog of clothes and a tray of food at this point, so it was also just as likely police were indeed after them.

“You couldn’t have flown??” Kel huffed, all winded. The dog was silent, as it was obligated to be. In the open, it was impossible to do so now. So Kel sighed, loud, “Find another alleyway, Basil.” Obediently, he did. Running past corners they found another alley. Police still trailing close behind. Advantageous was Kel’s years of athleticism in this moment; However, Basil didn’t hold up as well. The dog panted, subtly slowing in pace. The criminals were barely halfway in when he collapsed, morphing back into his familiar form. “Shit–” desperately Kel tried to pick Basil up, carry both their weight and keep running. 

“Freeze!” But there was nowhere to go. Once each officer got a good look at Basil, horror wrote itself across all their faces. Horror wrote itself across Kel’s, too. In a frenzy he almost cried, panicked noises escaping him. He shook Basil with ignorant strength, just so desperate for a response. “What the... get away from that–hands in the air!”

“Wait- no!” He cried, clinging on. Weapons were pointed straight at him, only further paralyzing him. “Get up… please, get up.” He muttered, to no avail.  “Basil! Please! c’mon…”

“Kid, get away from-”

“No!” He barked, but was forcefully pulled away anyways. Kel kicked and he cursed, putting up a nasty fight. He was no child, and didn't weigh the part either. Gravitating towards the floor he tried to drag the officer with him, bite his hands which were compressed under Kel’s ribs and around his arms.

The officer dropped him. It was sudden, Kel thought it was a surrender, and likewise was ready to reign victorious; Celebrate. But then the screams hit, bashful against his ears. Kel looked up to find Basil, hands held tightly on the wrists of two cops. Both, grown men, were vaporized. Their cheeks sunk in, nothing but a terrified hollow face left behind. The way each their skin charred, withered, turned to dust, left an imprint in his mind. They collapsed, weapons by their side. Repulsed, the officer once restraining Kel tried to run. But something, maybe it was quick thinking, but something in Kel commanded him to grab the officer, and this time successfully pull him to the ground. The man was stupefied. Basil came over to shake his head, 

“Let go of him Kel…”

“But… what if he tells someone?”

“It’s going to get you too, move. ” The implication hit like a train and Kel leapt out the way. Not fast enough, as Basil’s hands moved for him. Kel tripped over and hit the ground, a handful of energy winding out of him. It didn’t hurt, he wasn’t under Basil’s hands long enough. But the officer had his soul burnt out of him, and all his energy siphoned into Basil. A silence then settled into the alley. One of despair. Basil had a neutral expression that slowly became shame as he turned to Kel. 

“What… did you do..?”

“I… I didn’t mean to…” Basil murmured. Kel crawled towards him, unafraid. 

“You... drained me, too. you’ve been doing it for a while now, I think.” Only at that did Basil show genuine remorse, tearing up. “No… Hey, it’s okay…”

————————————————

The fire escape was a chipping dark green. Kel climbed with determination, and a quietness filled only by his own grunts and huffing. Around the outskirts were more romanesque style apartment complexes with riskier roofs. It would be a miracle if no one saw and called to report a burglary at the moment. Still, he mangled with the steel ladders and made his way to the top. 

“Jesus- Basil! There you are!”

“I don’t know what I am anymore.” he mumbled. “Maybe you were right, Kel.”

“Oh don’t start.” Kel derided. “It’s okay, you didn’t mean to!” 

“I do a lot of bad things intentionally. Not because I had to, but because I wanted to.” Basil paced around as he spoke. The other quickly took his shoulders in hand and stopped him, guiding the angel to sit down. So they did.

“I get the feeling you're keeping a lot of things from me…” Kel whispered. “I’m not mad. As long as you tell me now. Tell me everything, please. I care about you.”

“I’m afraid that would change If I told you…”

“Don’t be afraid, nothing will change, I promise you.” Kel reassured, but Basil still shook his head. There was frustration left unsaid. “Earlier… you claimed you were making excuses for yourself, too. Can you prove it to me now? That I can get into heaven, or whatever?” A silence followed, and Kel frowned. He looked away, up at the sky. His words weren’t getting through, so what would? He almost gave up, digging hands into his pockets. There was something in them. Something he didn’t have the heart to throw out while changing into robbed outfits. He was ashamed of that. But at least now it served a purpose. “Basil, are you mad at Aubrey for what she did to you?”

“Hm? Of course not, did I ever give that impression?” Kel shook his head,

“Here.” he handed over a crumpled piece of paper. Basil opened it gently and read. 

‘I’m not sure where to start. But know this: God doesn’t hold mistakes over our heads as long as we’re willing to try again. I am not mad at you and never will be.’

They sat there, still, for what felt like an eternity. Until Basil finally spoke. “I’ll tell you. I swore I wouldn’t, but I will. You’ll forgive me, won’t you?” Kel nodded, ecstatic. “Okay… here it goes…” Basil took a breath, “Mari didn’t hang herself, I hung her. ”

“H-Huh..?” Kel blinked, for a moment believing this was a joke of some kind, in really poor taste. But Basil only continued, 

“The day of the recital, I went over to Sunny’s house. They were arguing, really bad. I-I was scared, Kel. Sunny threw his violin down the stairs and she just… Lost it. I never saw her so mad. They were atop the stairs, and in a haze, Sunny pushed her.”

“Oh god… Basil… Stop…”

“I watched her die. She fell, landed on her neck, and snapped it. You know Sunny’s a good person, don’t you? At the time, I cared so much for him. I don’t know why. He wasn’t very expressive. Whenever I said I loved him, he never said it back… yes, In a desperate attempt to protect my friend, I hung Mari. I set it up, made everyone think she killed herself. Then I didn’t tell anyone. I felt selfish for a while. Then selfless, for protecting Sunny. Then I talked it out with both siblings, felt reassured for a bit… but there was still this guilt I held, for never telling you. After the incident, you were the only person who still somewhat cared about me, bothered to… check in. I’m sorry Kel, will you still forgive me?” 

Nothing was said. Not for a while. 

“...Basil… I love you.” He mumbled, stirring the thick vacuum of noise. 

“After all that..? I feel I betrayed you.”

“We both have our faults now, Basil. I forgive you. I’ll forgive you no matter what.” His arms wrapped around the angel, warm and large as ever.

Chapter Text

There’s always a shore at the end of a city. Disconnected from the rest of the world, trying to imitate the beauty of the sky. If they could travel far enough maybe they’d finally find it. But, what then? Cross it, and embark on a new journey? Or drown in it, if God so permitted them to?  

Down the coastal cities did he and Kel walk. Basil but a dog, or sometimes a snake. Kel liked it most when he was a rabbit, and could be held in two loving hands… Basil not as much.

A time they were up on a limestone building, their adventure miraging into centuries and creating the illusion that they’ve already grown old with each other, Kel confessed to something he did in the hospital. Indirectly murdered his two little friends? The confession was hard for Basil to recall, because he dismissed it without hesitation, saying he forgave Kel with no further question. It was foreign why that was his reaction, he had not the ability to grant such forgiveness, nor any room to even hold an opinion. Basil was not affected by those deaths, or correlated to the event. Most importantly, he was no god. Yet Kel took his forgiveness as such: like a sacred ore. 

The mortal boy was developing this clear change in attitude, one that wasn’t exactly new. It only seemed to grow as a direct result of their entanglement. Basil bit down, afraid of how he felt about said attitude. Especially now, as Kel traced his fingers into Basil’s palm, from the wrist to the inside, circling around–then flushing away after they’d lock eyes. You’d believe purely based on this description, Kel was just… soft on him. But Basil felt there was something much more than that, something a little scary. 

————————————————

This was sickening, it really was. 

“Is that enough? Do you need anymore? I could–”

“No, no thank you. It was enough.” The resemblance of an offering chilled Basil, realizing the similarities between that and all of Kel’s little sacrifices. 

Basil hated doing this. Every single time. Kel stood all complacent, uncomplaining. He watched in indifference as Basil drained the life from a real, living thing. Animals, humans, so be it. Kel couldn’t care less. There it was. That terrifying devotion. It gave Basil the urge to pray, and ask for forgiveness. 

“Your powers… do they always… kill the thing when you're done? I mean can you drain, and not always kill?” Maybe Kel still had some morality left to juggle. 

“Not sure… Why do you ask...?”

“Well what if one day there’s an emergency, and you need energy? Do you think you could drain me?–”

“ Stop.” Basil huffed out without really thinking. The detestation on his lips was not one Kel expected, sulking like a scalded animal. Basil froze, and then melted. “Sorry… just- why would you want to risk your life like that?”

“Hmph. I don’t want it anyway.” Kel walked forward. 

“Your life?”

“No. I’d prefer if you had it.” The taller boy held both of Basil’s shoulders and massaged them with tender hands. It felt nice. Subconsciously, Basil leaned in, chest inching towards Kel’s. “Or if maybe it continued,” he got close and whispered, “somewhere far, far away.”

Basil shuddered, the air hitting his ear. “This again?” He then sighed, “No, absolutely not.” Kel didn’t argue back, he didn’t dare testify against Basil. His idolatry knew no bounds. It was safe to say the blond was consumed with a sudden tumult. Thoughts and questions swifting by left to right, and desire trying to overwhelm him. He was never on the other end of this dynamic. It was confusing. Yet he couldn’t help but breathe a little quicker. Maybe imagine Kel serving him, over him, or on his knees. Praying, or not, it didn’t matter. If being wanted was hard to get used to, being worshipped was far worse. There was much more shame to be had.  

Kel must’ve noticed the change in breathing as he asked, “Do you like this?” deepening the movement of his hands. The question felt synonymous to ‘am I doing a good job? Am I pleasing you?’ and it killed Basil. He no longer enjoyed toying with Kel, their playful exchanges, or being put on a pedestal. He had to say something, anything. 

Kel’s hands traced up his shirt, “can I?”

“N-No!” Basil stammered out on impulse. Kel instantly pulled his hands away, an apology already halfway teetering off his tongue. Basil shook his head and grabbed the other’s wrists. “Sorry, I got scared. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Scared?” said Kel, looking in dismay. That look did things to him.

“Take me… take me to a church.” he replied. 

“What kind? …I thought religion was useless?”

“Any kind. And it still is.” Just to further oblige Kel, he became a rabbit. A dumb doe-eyed rabbit neatly clasped between two cupped hands. The brunette smiled, an uncertain warmth in his eyes. They made their way off and out of the building, again greeting busy roads.

————————————————

Kel pestered him once in a rare moment of curiosity about religion, and its accuracy. Basil knew not how to answer. Afterlife is just a strange new existence, filled with uncertainty. Or, would be, if he hadn’t left. Why was he so quick to leave? out of love? Or perhaps dissatisfaction? 

The modernity felt a bit unnatural, sconces lined up against each wall. Shadows reflected off some paintings, over the saints in gauche. It lit more like a basement, but setting was again nothing to dwell on. Any church would do. This one was just less homey, with a cold blue and white palette. It was pretty big, too. The gold clashed, only a little, but still left a grating impression. The room would look better lined in silver. 

Basil shifted in Kel’s arms, still a mere rabbit, trying to make himself appear invisible. No one was there, as no mass was occurring, but he felt stupid anyhow. Kel’s footsteps echoed, until they reached the altar, and he set Basil down on it. 

“No one’s here, you wanna risk it?” Kel whispered. To which Basil returned to his regular self in response. 

“Turn around, just a moment.” Basil was now sat on the altar. Kel didn’t question. He turned around. A few wisps of quiet prayers filled the still air around them. There was a pause that followed, Basil clutching his chest in this unforeseen horror. The flames of each candle on the altar blew out. “Huh…? I-...” 

“What’s wrong? Can I turn back around?” 

“I think there’s something wrong with me…” He murmured. 

Kel turned, “What? What’s wrong?” In the same breath, loud footsteps echoed from the hallway left of the altar, behind a door. Basil leapt into Kel’s arms and shifted without thinking. When a snake was suddenly coiled around Kel’s wrist, he couldn’t think of a worse option.

There the figure stepped into the light; Kel backed away in this nervous fear. “Hm?” The tall man squinted. He shrugged and then walked towards the altar, “did you blow out these candles…?”

Kel shook his head, “no sir…”

“You look frightened. Relax.” He lit them again. Kel eased up and walked towards the table, listening to the pastor hum. As he flicked the last candle ablaze, a cast shadow was sprawled across his face. 

“You shouldn’t be here for no good reason, we aren’t in session. I’m afraid you’re trespassing, son.”

“I- I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to intrude… we were just… resting.” Kel shrunk, holding out his arm. The pastor’s eyes trailed down and met with Basil’s.

“Interesting companion you have there.”

“He’s harmless– wouldn’t hurt a thing.”

“Except maybe a few mice, hm?” the pastor lowered his head with a faint smile. Kel stayed still. “...How odd that it clings to you like that. It could be out of fear. Maybe he’s hiding from something.” Kel stood, unsure how to respond. 

“I guess… maybe… I don't know…” He began to feel cool scales shift across his forearm. Kel’s voice dropped,  “Am I in trouble…?”

The man's gaze became sharper, “Do you believe in second chances? …That everyone deserves forgiveness?”

“Um… yes. I think I do.” Kel ran a finger on the snake. Basil ceased to move. 

“Tricky thing about forgiveness: it’s given too freely sometimes, but other times not at all.” he smiled, “And sometimes, it’s not yours to give.”

Kel didn’t enjoy the way he was stared down on, so judgingly. That was, until he realized the pastor was looking at Basil. “That’s true, I guess?” Kel mumbled.

“I forgive you for intruding, but not for lying. Run along now, son.” he waved, “Heaven’s doors won’t be open to the likes of you forever.”

————————————————

“What a cryptid asshole!” Kel ripped the cream cheese loaded guts of a sesame seed bagel with his canines. Chewing, he spoke to the serpent draped comfortably around his neck. “To the likes of you??” The serpent flicked his tongue in silent response. “You hold more innocence than half the pastors on earth, Basil. You should know that.” But Basil couldn’t help reflecting on the words he heard. 

As Kel snuck into a back alley, a sudden weight lowered on him. “Kel… don’t you see all the strange things happening to me?... the candles, my powers, new feelings… Maybe this is a sign. A sign I need to…” he trailed off.

“Need to… what?” Kel stiffened. His hands very discreetly gripped onto Basil's.

“...I need some reassurance. I need to see the angels again.” placing the soles of his feet onto the ground, Basil stood in front of Kel. The taller boy looked as if he’d been shot. 

“Not this again… I don’t want you to leave. You’re supposed to be here, with me.” This might’ve been the first time he’s ever argued against Basil in a while. Granted, there wasn’t much anger behind it. 

“I”m not leaving. Don’t think like that.” Basil took a collected step forward. 

“You’re saying you plan on seeing the angels again! Basil, if you go back to heaven, best believe I'm coming with you.” Assertively Kel gave his ultimatum. One that left Basil stunned. 

“You can’t… that's like asking me to pick between you and God. ”

“I’d pick you over any god, Basil.” Kel snapped in response. He just didn’t seem to get it.

“No… not just a god… but my afterlife. My duty, my spot up there, my whole identity...”

“You’ve known me longer than you’ve known this ‘identity’.” Kel pouted, an immature attitude idly resting in his mouth.

“Kel. Enough. Try to understand how I feel!—“

“ please. ” He looked at Basil, head down, like a puppy. “Are you scared…? Is that how you feel?” Kel sighed, “You’re going to abandon your responsibilities on Earth out of fear?”

“No… It’s not like that. Stop it. Stop talking to me like that.” Basil mumbled, frustrated. Kel softened, apologetic stare. He took both of Basil’s wrists in a gentle grab. 

“Sorry, I'm just trying to understand.” Kel spoke in a hushed voice, reminding himself that his place is still beneath Basil. No matter how much he wanted to grab the blond and hold him against his will, which he clearly did, Kel was still a mere mortal boy. So, he relaxed his fingers and dulled in submission, not fully letting go regardless. “Sorry.”

“I think… We need some time apart. Just for a little while. I think that’d be good for us.” Yes, it was fear. Basil realizes now. It’s fear of so many different things at once. He needed the other so bad it kills. Kills his innocence, maybe.

Kel’s eyes shot wide, but he was unable to protest. “Why? I said I’m sorry-“ again, he looked like a dejected pet, begging for scraps.

“No it’s not that— just… let go of me… let go! ” Basil cried out, twisting his wrists free. Kel stumbled back, terrified. Basil turned and flew. It was selfish of him. This was the second time now, unable to handle Kel’s regard, what he might be thinking or feeling, and pushing him away because it’s easier. Easier, yet so, so stupid. Why mustn’t he be normal? Why do attachments only exist to hurt him?

————————————————

Crawling through thick city air, the doberman found himself near the ocean, but not quite there. Instead he was met with litter and a crowd who couldn’t care less. Past some run down estates he sat under a torn awning. Presumably a stray, no one paid it any mind. Well, except a small child, about four to five who sat next to Basil, hand glued over his head. Her dress was pink, but a grey-pink, due to the dust and grime woven into its fabric. If he could speak, he’d ask where her parents were, but from the looks of it, she might’ve been better off this way. She stared at him, with a strange pity. Basil reciprocated it. 

“Wait- wait…” she demanded, before springing her stubby legs up, and turning to walk inside whatever establishment he’d parked in front of.

Taking a good look around, Basil could only judge. Conflicted about the world’s cruel divides and hardships. How can it be true that the god he knows exists, has done nothing about it? Yes, now he’s judging God. 

Which was… a terrible thing for someone in his position to do. So, for a change, he began to judge himself. What good has he done, really? Thinking back on it, he should've said no that day–that day in Faraway, by his childhood secret hideout. If only he had walked away then. Everytime Basil attempts to fix anything, ever, it seems to only get worse. He knew this was never something he could fix. Now Kel’s worse off than ever, and it’s technically his fault, isn’t it? This ‘job’ was a lost cause from the start. He was a fool to think he could ever be a successful guardian. Maybe he always knew this, but was too selfish to care. Someone finally needed him, after all.

“ Aquí . Here.” The girl came back with one of those tin trays of dog food. Basil winced, unsure about the idea of eating it. Looking up at her bruised little face however, he sucked it up, licking the slop with hesitance. “Eat. Eat.” She waved her hands, and Basil ate with some more enthusiasm. It wasn’t… terrible…?

Seconds later, a husky man stepped outside and grabbed the girl by her arm, “ Did you pay for that, missy!? ” He yelled and demanded. Consequently, the girl began to cry. As any small child would. The scene caught no one, broke not a single soul’s stride, and Basil was left in a haze. He ran forward without thinking, sinking teeth into the man's leg. With a grunt he was kicked, an uncalled amount of strength slammed right into his stomach. It hit the girl's foot just as she wrenched her hand free. Her small body hurdled towards Basil, and Instead of maybe softening her fall, he scampered away. 

She hit her head on the concrete. Hard.

He didn’t know what to do, or how to help. The man stormed away, cursing. He didn’t matter anymore. 

Basil stepped over to her, and bit into her shirt collar, dragging the kid into the crook between the convenience store and the shelter beside it. There, he lost the disguise and tried to assess her injury. Her head was bloody, blunt force on the side of her skull. He pressed hands against the gash before realizing it was futile. A toddler can’t take a hit like this. In her slipping moments of consciousness she smiled, eyes fluttering open. “ Diosito? ” she mumbled.  

“Uhm, yea… I’m here.” He lied, unsure how else to comfort this little girl. ‘Diosito’ was a phrase he recognized, when Kel’s mom would refer to God in a playful way. “I’m here, alright?” Basil ruffled her hair and tried to make everything seem okay. It's what he did best. “You’re safe. I’m sorry.” 

She just laughed. It was strange to him that she didn’t cry, or complain about the pain. But the sight was still just as devastating. He couldn’t be here. He couldn’t live in a place that devastated him. Seeing her gaze dim gave him a guilty feeling beyond understanding. Why does he even bother helping anymore?

————————————————

There was still a chance to repent, and Basil couldn't miss what might be the last opportunity.

“Basil!” There was Kel, looking like hell. “How could y… no. That doesn’t matter. I’m just so glad you're here!” Kel hugged him, biting back any resentment for leaving. Basil said nothing, his arms laid limp. “Are you feeling better now?”

“I feel sure of myself.” 

“That’s good… how come?”

“I know where I need to be.” Basil smiled, stepping closer to him. It was horrible, the reassurance on Kel’s face. But he wanted one more night, just one last long talk with him.

Kel intertwined fingers and began to walk, “Let’s go to the beach tomorrow. Remember July 4th with Mari and the others? And we…” Kel paused, a bittersweet look on his face. “I think I’d like it more, if it was just the two of us this time.” 

“Sounds like a perfect idea. Lets rest?” They stopped and found a rooftop. Basil felt a sacrifice such as this was bound to be rewarded. He was letting go of a physical attachment and finally making a selfless choice. This must’ve all been a test. His stay was permitted for that reason, right? Had he proven himself? Was this what it took?

“I’m glad you always come back to me. No matter what happens, you always find your way.” Kel whispered, lying both their backs on the ground. It was past an ugly sundown, and the summer sky was a gray blue. Basil had his eyes glued to it, trying to keep a steady indifference, fearing if he looked at Kel his glass mask would shatter. Kel turned to him, “I love you. Can you say it back, please?”

“I…” Basil felt this all too familiar. He didn’t want to dish out false hope anymore. But back then, Basil would’ve taken false hope over silence. He would’ve taken anything he was given. And that was terrible. He recognizes it was terrible. He doesn’t want that for Kel. “...Of course I do.”

“Look at me? Please?” 

Basil had his eyes drag, painstakingly avoiding Kel’s. He looked at the intersection of his nose and forehead instead. “Well?” 

“...I was really scared earlier. When you left. I was everywhere trying to track you.” He sighed, “I’m sorry that I upset you sometimes, but can you talk to me about it? Instead of just running away?” The brunette pulled a glass bottle from his stolen backpack, the label indicating some spanish soda brand, and took a swig of re-filled water. Then he set it down and waited for the boy to respond. 

“It’s out of habit, I apologize.” Basil felt a warmth soon surrounding him. Kel’s arms, weighted on top. They cradled him, ran around his shoulder and spine, dragging down his lower back. Kel’s hands brushed through feathers. Basil shivered, drawing a hand over his mouth. “Mm…”

“Well it scares me.” Kel’s voice became frail, you could hear the tears budding on his lashes. “I just want you to talk to me. Can you do that, please?” 

“I’m a coward.” Basil bit his tongue, but regrettably spoke anyway. “I can’t tell you anything worth hearing. Nothing that would make you happy.”

“I don’t care what I have to hear, as long as you no longer feel the need to run.” Only silence followed. Kel was frustrated, he could feel it. But love overpowered desperation. Or maybe fueled it, kept him talking. “...That 4th of July on the beach, with all our old friends… Do you remember how scared you were?” 

“It was the firecrackers.”

“Yea, the firecrackers.” Kel held him tighter. “I burnt you by accident. Did I ever say sorry for that?”

Basil laughed, “yea, like a million times.” 

“Ha… but, you got over your fear later on, didn’t you? I saw it, when you went by the rocks to be alone, and Mari joined you. She brought a firecracker with her, too. I thought that was stupid. But you ended up getting over your fear. What was it? What did she say to you?”

“That... I might be scared… But I should just… go for it?” Basil pinched his nose bridge. “Well, my memories a little blurry. But, basically, she asked if I wanted to learn how to light a firecracker. I did. It scared me, but I knew it would make the rest of you happy. So I had to. And to that Mari said… I should just go for it. I might find that it isn’t all that scary.” Basil squinted, looking at Kel became harder to do. “I took hers. I lit it. And you guys were… proud of me.” 

“You should just go for it, Basil. Do what you know is right.” Kel picked up the glass, filled with water, tilting it forward. 

“Huh…” Basil took it. The glass was a little… heavy. He looked into it. “You know I don’t get thirsty.”

“Well I want you to have some anyway. No big deal right?” Basil shrugged, and drank. He thought about what Mari said. Doing the right thing was exactly the plan. Yet as he finished drinking, Kel’s eyes finally contacted his. They were red, and puffy. Then Kel said, “ I’ll find us a firecracker tomorrow… we can light it. And… this time I won’t burn you. I promise. ” Basil paused, unsure how to respond. So they hugged. He let the other cry on his shoulder, trembling, and squeezing some frustration out through the embrace. It went on for a while. But when it became too much, Basil was washed over with thoughts of how to end it, for good.

“Kel…” He separated them with half an arms length, then pulled their faces into each other. It's safe to say that made things real quiet. Basil would usually feel horrible for doing this, but right now, it was their last night together. May one day this would be a traitorous memory, but till morning it would be a sweet dream. A goodbye gift, if you will. Even if the back of his mind was screaming, criticizing how selfish he still is, the yearning in him needed an outlet. Kel needed one too. 

Once the yearning was gone, Basil detached his lips, quick to trail apart. Kel was flushed, savoring the taste while it lingered. “Thank you…”

“It’s late.” Basil was pulled onto his chest. 

“I know… I’m not sure if I can sleep.” And held like a stuffed bear. 

“Tomorrow can only come if you sleep.” Basil didn’t fight it, knowing how heavy Kel slept.

“Alright, Alright. I can’t wait. Okay?”

“...mhm.” 

————————————————

You could see some light creeping back into the horizon, oh so subtly. And when you stood on the building's edge, there was the shore, at the end of every city. Clouds felt more like velvet than cotton the way they wrapped around the sky, and sounds felt quieter than they did throughout an average day. Kel’s breathing was so soft, it couldn’t be mistaken. The worn out victim of Basil’s insecurities laid on a rooftop instead of his mattress at home. With Basil, instead of the people who were actually good for him. He laid with destructive devotion. 

Basil slipped from the warmth of his arms, taking a quiet moment to sit above him, looking down at his resting face, taking small drawn out breaths. They’d see each other again. According to Kel, they’re soulmates, right? 

A doberman ran down the streets across a gas station near the seaport. He looked around before spotting a payphone. So early in the morning, yet so little time to spare. He slid in a quarter or two, dialing a number he’s rehearsed all night. It rang maybe three seconds before the presumably sleep deprived man answered.

“Hello…?” He didn’t think they’d ever talk again.

“Hi. Your brother. We found him.”

“What? Who is this? Where is he?”

“Kelsey Gonzalez is on 143rd Seafront Ave.” 

“Really?? Who is this?”

“He’s on the rooftop of this Law Firm… the dark green building by the St. Peter's church? Get here quickly please. Before he wakes up.”

“Thank you! What's your name?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Basil slammed the phone into its little hooks then ran off again.

This was it. This was what redemption felt like. Breezy, and blinding, like the early morning. Basil stood on a rooftop, ready to greet the angels. He vaguely remembered the way home, the way back to God. For now he’d fly, like a hummingbird over a huge garden, or a giant over a small village, or whatever the fuck he felt afterlife was like. It was freeing, letting go of it all. The raging wind in his ear built up pressure till thousands and thousands of feet held the weight of nothing. The weight was nothing compared to the guilt he felt around Kel. He didn’t watch the buildings get small, the shore’s blue disappear, there was nothing to say goodbye to. Just a mistake, he could finally let go of. Mari… Sunny… to see them again, hear them again–

“Ah..! aaAH! ”

His knees threatened to buckle, as something raw and violent surged through him. It wasn’t the freeing flap of his wings, wide and proud. It was sharp, and it burned like hell. He screamed again, the air too thick for even a bird to hear. Then there was… weight. The sun dimmed, almost. The beam that felt like a pat on the back, a momentous welcome, was sucked into a vacuum. It didn’t beckon any longer, It recoiled away, like a hand shrinking in disgust. Why was he still on Earth? Then came the knot around his ankle, and the realization he was tied to his mistake now. He was falling. He was facing judgment, not redemption. 

“No… no–”

That was it. This was a test, and he had failed. But that couldn’t be. He did everything right, didn’t he? He reached for something unforeseen, still falling. He closed his eyes. The pain tore through every muscle, and mangled his wings till each bone could be indicated by eye. Watching actual pieces of him fly into the wind, was not only grotesque, but aggravating. The sky was rejecting him, and torturing him as he was cast out. Was this always doomed to happen? What kind of god sets their pupil up like this? The powers? The circumstances? Was it all warning signs or a big ‘screw you’!?  

“That’s not fair..!”

You aren’t theirs anymore, you’re an unrelenting issue. God made you this way, and would now punish you for being weak. What a joke. Every effort made was for nothing. Perhaps he did abandon his proper dwelling, but doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance? And was he the first to experience this? Or was there a special place in hell for angels like him, bound with chains? Nothing but an experiment? 

“ Agh… you…!”

Knowing this now, he’s sorry. He’s sorry for Kel. Not the sack of shit that made him. If he had known they wouldn’t one day meet again, on a sunny day, in some uncertain realm… he would’ve said goodbye. Or goodnight at least. The knot tightened.

“...dammit…”

Now, only 50 feet from land, he cries. Pathetically. He thought he found a solution, a way to have all his friends back again, be pure and home, where he belongs. Happy, and rid of excursion.

“...”

He must’ve forgotten. How could he forget? God’s very simple. He’s always been cruel.