Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The third week of college wasn't so bad. Pretty boring but, not bad. 

Like the others, there wasn't much to be excited for. Just future assignments, finals, stress. There wouldn't be much time for socializing either because Zane likes to coddle himself in his dorm, studying until the sleep catches up to him. 

His brother, Garroth, would try to pull him out of it while scolding him. Take a break, baby brother! I wouldn't want to find a skeleton shaped you in here. He would say with other nonsense that drowned out in Zane's ears. 

In the end, he would allow himself to get dragged, even though the imagery in the back of his mind would consist of pushing his brother away – shutting him out like he did in their high school days. Which is something Zane has been trying to avoid. His mother would burst out in tears when told they weren't getting along. All she wants is for her sons to be there for each other so, Zane packs up his pride and agrees with a sigh.

They land at a cafe that's near Zane's dormitory. He's been meaning to come to this one alone. But life works in different ways as he sits down with Garroth, crossing his arms against his chest and glaring to the side, foot tapping impatiently, all while looking very much annoyed. 

"How was class?" Garroth asks, looking through the menu of pastries. A happy smile spread across his face, not a care in the world. And yeah. Zane is bothered by that.

"Fine." 

Garroth stares, putting down the menu with a groan. "Don't give me that! Have you made friends? Got invited to any parties? Gone to any parties? How are you?"

Question after question, when will it end. "If this is just to update mom, tell her i'm doing fine." 

"I'm asking as your brother." 

"Well, then.. i'm fine."

"You're so stubborn. I'm just curious! We haven't gone out like this in so long. And... and with a normal conversation too! You're always in your room an-"

"I know you are." Zane interrupts, uncrossing his arms. What makes Garroth think he would ever go to a party. "Not everybody has an interesting day, you know. I'm too busy with classes and you know that. I just study at the library.. go home and that's about it." What's so bad about that? It's an introverts dream, almost. 

"...Mom just doesn't want you to be alone," He hesitates before continuing, "I don't either."

Zane tries not to roll his eyes. He's not completely alone. He has.. Garroth, or whatever. And it's not like he wants to be alone, he just happens to be. "I'm leaving if that's all you wanted to talk about." He stands, walking out the doors. He just wants to go home and rest.

"W-wait!" Garroth calls after, but by the time he gets to the door, his baby brother is no where to be seen.

Now he's the one left alone.

Chapter Text

There's a litter of boxes at his door. 

Zane holds in his earlier frustrations and scrubs his face angrily instead. He stops to think, though. — Huh. – There wasn't really enough energy for him to be mad at this, his older brother drained most of it out of him. 

So, he pushes the boxes against the opposite door, to it's rightful owner he supposes, and calls it a day; entering his room and filling it up with negativity.

The quiet desperation throughout his dorm makes the vibes even more gloomy. And it makes him even more frustrated. Even though he was the one who spread that energy.

He huffs, opens his laptop with force, and turns on this weeks' lecture as background noise and then, body slams onto the couch. Trying his best not to grab a pillow to asphyxiate himself.

As much as he liked the silence, he wasn't in the mood for it completely. He should've just let Garroth lash his scoldings towards him at the cafe. Telling him that he sucks and has no friends or whatever. (He didn't say any of this). - Anything is better than deafening silence and his own self-deprecating thoughts. 

Bzz.. bzz..

The vibrations of his phone sound in the distance. He tossed it on the kitchen counter moments prior, before slouching his way to the couch. He decides to ignore it and close his eyes instead. It's probably just Garroth again.

He just gonna close his eyes.

They crack open when he hears mumbling outside. He mutes the computer with quickness, it doesn't sound like they are passing by. It sounds like they're right outside his door. — It could be that Garroth brought him friends over to talk to. No. Garroth isn't that pushy nor would he do something this pathetic. 

Or maybe he is. Maybe he would.

Zane leaps off the couch with that horrendous thought, socked feet tapping silently against the hard wood as he peers through the looking glass. (The peep-hole). And it's a small group of people who are now, carrying the boxes he shoved aside, inside the dorm.

He leans in further, too much that his forehead thumps loudly against the door. He winces. One head turns to that and he immediately falls back, as if they could see him. He shouldn't have gotten so curious.

It's stupid. But, he looks through again. He's met with a closed door and an empty hallway.

Why does he care anyways? 

—

The next day, Zane jolts awake and lands on the ground harshly. He groans, rolling over and laying there for a few minutes.

He remembers yesterday, where he shamelessly walked back to the couch after he essentially realized he was being a creep. Snooping through the glass hole of the entrance, he feels wrong for that. (Even if it was for his own social safety.) - He could just let himself die here this moment, on this floor, even though they didn't see him. - Sorry Garroth, you will.. find that skeleton-shaped me in here.

But not now, he has news to catch up on. 

The new My Little Horsies' collection was rumored to be released and he absolutely, has to be the first to buy it. He's off from classes today so he has time for when it drops, most of his free day-to-day is like this. He already has his laptop set up, his phone on do not disturb and it's all peace from there.

But of course, like usual, it's broken when there's a knock on his door. He thinks he's good to pay no mind to it, but it just keeps going. For someone who tries their hardest to stay invisible, Zane could say he failed. It's not like his entire living space could disappear alongside with him.

He doesn't check the peep-hole like he normally does. He just opens the door and squints his eyes.

"Hi there!"

...It's a woman. Wrong dorm, probably. Since, she stares at Zane with an odd expression.

"..What?"

"Oh! I'm sorry were you sleeping?"

Zane goes silent. His face feels kind of itchy. 

She continues. "I'm the room across from you!" Her laugh comes out softly, "Kawaii-chan baked you some cupcakes! I- Um.. You moved my boxes. Kawaii-chan accidentally mistook your room for hers. So sorry.. and thank you."  She hands over a plastic container, decorated to the extreme with cutesy decals imprinted onto the cover. 

Zane just looks down, shoves it away. He does like the sound of cupcakes, but not from a stranger. "It's just boxes. They were in my way, so..." He tries to end the conversation, slowly, by shutting the door.

She halts him, "He.. hey wait! You're Garroth-kun's brother right?"

Oh god, not this. Wait. Garroth what? "No, i don't have his number, sorry." Lord Irene. He almost smushed her fingers. 

"Eh? No, i'm his friend! My name is Kawaii-Chan. He helped Kawaii-chan move in with Aphmau-senpai!"

"And that involves me how?" 

Her ears tilt down. She looks cute.

"Don't...Don't do that!" His face heats.

"Wha?"

"That. With your-" Zane exhales, grabbing the container. "If i take this will you leave?"

Kawaii-chan perks up a bit, but her ears still downcast, "...Yeah."

Zane feels like this girl did a whole 180. He barely knows her, of course, he wouldn't know how she acts personally. But to be honest, anyone can see that there was an obvious switch. Which peaks Zane's interest a bit.– Only a little bit! 

He shuffles awkwardly, "Bye." He says last before slamming the door, he hisses at the echoing sound. He didn't mean to do that, his embarrassment took over. But whatever, it's been done. — He heads to the kitchen and inspects the given container, opening the lid and instantly getting hit with smells of strawberry and vanilla mixture, with not one impurity. 

He picks one up and takes a bite. He didn't expect to shiver but, he did. He's never ate something like this, even at those popular cafes Garroth takes him to, it feels like she baked these specifically for him.

He wouldn't mind talking to her more. 

Chapter Text

Zane usually doesn't have food cravings. When he does, he replaces it with something equally delicious. But in this case, he can't. 

Because with every cupcake he buys and eats, it doesn't taste like the ones he was given by his, 'across the door', neighbor. Even the most expensive ones didn't give that spark. That feeling. So he's upset. And now, he doesn't text Garroth first, but in this case, it's needed before he starts losing sleep and his mind over this.

Zane: You.

Garroth: Baby brother!

Zane: Ugh..

Do you have the number of Aphmau's roommate?

Garroth: ?3?_?¥!

!?¥?_!_???????????

Why. ?

WHAT FOR ???

?

Zane: None of your business. Just give it to me or i'm blocking you forever. 

Garroth: Im sure mom would love to see this screenshot 

Zane: Can you stop? I'm serious. 

Garroth: Im just playing hahahaha

Why are you interested though.. i cant help but ask...

Zane: Like i said, none of your business.

Stop asking questions and just give it to me

Garroth: Hmmm nope go get it yourself 

Zane: WHAT.. NO?? WHY NOT?

Garroth: Ur being mean to me :( 

Zane: Please

Garroth: :)

But no. I love you, but you need to start doing stuff like this on your own!

How will you grow socially if you constantly use me as guidance

Spread your wings, puff out those feathers brother!!!!! 

Zane: Forget it then.

Garroth: Zane..

He knew his brother would be of no help, he's just too damn nosy. And Irene, he feels bad for being cold, but his hungered anger just controls him more than his heart does.

Zane sends a cat sticker in reply, which in his terms means sorry for being a jerk. Garroth sends another back, thumbs up saying, 'It's okay!' Zane feels slightly forgiven and puts his phone down. 

He goes for Plan B.

He didn't want to, but honestly, anything for those sweet desserts. – He picks up the empty tupperware, washed clean to be reused again. It mocks him. Haha! i'm empty, there's no cupcakes... now you have to starve!

Zane breathes loud through his nose, airing out those thoughts. This is so stupid. — For some reason; he makes sure to douse himself in cologne, switches out his mask for a cleaner one, checks himself out in the mirror. He's not one to care about appearance or first impressions, he feels like he has to in this situation. 

All that work and he still felt gross. He isn't planning on striking up a conversation anyway. He ends up overthinking about it before heading over, container in hand.

For a moment he just, stands there. Balled up palms sweating, he thinks he's ready to knock. But, what would he say? Here. And i toss it over. No.. is that too bland? Too rude? Brother is better at this than me. - Oh, whatever! - To the nether with what Garroth would say; do. He doesn't need conversation. He doesn't need this. He can be by himself as much as he wants to be!

So he chickens out. Leaving the container on the ground, marching back to his room, shutting the door behind him. 

There's other things to worry about than rekindling friendships. Class awaits for him. 

—

When he's back from class, he notices a small container at his door. The same one he had returned not even 3 hours ago. He stares down. Stares. Stares more. And it all settles in. He might scream but he won't, so he picks up the receptacle and rushes inside.

He's digging in before he reaches the kitchen. Frosting smearing across his mask, his fingers, he licks it off and bites down the pastry, even forgetting the wrap that hugs it. He knows it's disgusting, but he's been wanting these all day, cravings are stronger than his will to converse. 

When he finishes his fill, he lays his forehead flat against the counter. It feels cold, fresh. It feels like the weather of today, he feels like he can run outside and start singing in it. 

Yes he's being dramatic, but he doesn't care. Doesn't care enough to the point where he almost misses the note stuck onto the cover.

—Did you like them? Kawaii-chan's trying to open up a bakery in the future! 

Do you mind to continue taste testing these and Kawaii-chan's other recipes? 

Here's Kawaii-chan's number if you want to talk more about it! ^^ — (***) ***-*****. 

And there's a small kitty drawing at the backside. 

Take that Garroth. He knew he could do it on his own. (He didn't have faith in himself, almost gave up, but he digresses.) He sniffles, pulling out his phone - typing her number and saving the contact.