Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Well fuck you, too!” Joe screamed at his mom, picking up his backpack and his duffle.  “I’m fucking done!”

“You’ll regret this!” she screamed back, blocking his exit from his bedroom.  Her eyes were wild, almost manic. “You’ll come crawling back!”

Joe dropped the duffle on the wood floor with a thud, a fury burning at his bones as he stared her down.  “You’re the one kicking me out!” Joe growled.  “You’re the one who said, ‘Oh, you’re 18, get out!’  You are the one doing this to me and I’d rather live in the streets than come back here!”

She didn’t move, just folded her arms and extended her neck so she was looking down her nose at him.  Mom didn’t look so large now that Joe was leaving for good.  He was slightly larger than her, taller definitely; she’d never dared to hurt him physically but she’d always been a verbally abusive bitch.  And now that he was free of her, by her own command, Joe could see how ugly she was.

“I won’t let you come back,” she told him, getting in his face.

Joe just laughed at her.  “Good.  I hope to never see you again, as long as I live.  Live knowing your only fucking son hates you.”

Her dark eyes flashed angrily and Joe could tell she was rearing up for an ugly yelling match.  Before she could berate him any further, he picked the duffle back up, slung it over his shoulder, and he pushed past her.

“If you walk out that door, you’re done!  You aren’t coming back!” she told him, following through the small house to the front door.

Joe rounded on her, stopping her in her tracks.  “Sounds like you’re begging me to stay.  You gonna miss me?  Kiss my feet if you want me to stay.”

“No, I want you gone,” she snarled.  Her breath stank, heavy with booze.

“Good, you got your wish.  Maybe while I’m gone you can finally get sober… Or drink yourself to death, I don’t care.” 

He turned away but she grabbed his arm, holding him back from throwing the front door open.  “You’ll regret saying that.”

“Yeah, maybe,” he snorted at her.  “But I can regret that when I’m away from you.  I’m not taking shit from you anymore.”

He yanked his arm from hers and pried the door open, stumbling into the night with the few possessions he called his own in old ratty bags.  He turned back and waved, “See you never!”

“Don’t come back!” she screamed after him, but her fingers were clutched at either side of the door frame, turning white, as if she couldn’t stand him walking away from her.

It was just like her, to be upset that he was doing what she wanted.  Joe hadn’t been the perfect son, but she’d made him out to be downright rotten.  Well, now she’d have to taste her own consequences of finally uttering the words to kick him out, because he was done with her. 

He’d been planning on leaving when he graduated, but what was a few extra months earlier?  Joe had money stashed away from years of odd jobs, preparing for this exact moment.  He’d kept them in his mattress where she wouldn’t find it or take it.  Prepared was an understatement of what he was because he and Kaoru had been planning for months for moving away, so he had the plan down pat. He wasn’t scared.

Joe was down the road at this point, determined to not even give her another glance, not even when she spat curses after him.  The words eventually faded, and so did she.

That was the last time he ever saw her.

“Holy—” Joe said, grabbing onto a moving box to steady himself when he read the letter in his hand.  It was from some legal attorney or something, it had the official seal of an official office or whatever, but really, it was what was inside that mattered.  “She’s dead,” he said aloud to himself in his Italian apartment.  

The room around him was boxed up and ready to be moved.  He’d just finished working with a renowned chef for over four years, all with the goal to open his own restaurant back home.  If he’d gotten this letter even two days later, he would have missed it.

His mom was dead.

He didn’t know how he felt about that.  He hadn’t seen her in ten years but she’d still lived like a nightmare in the back of his mind, taunting him for every choice he’d made.  Even when he made something of himself, earned himself a name in the culinary world, he could still hear her taunting him, telling him he wasn’t good enough, that he wasn’t smart enough.  Maybe he’d secretly been hoping she’d hear about his gig in Italy, or maybe about the restaurant he’d open up, but he wanted her to know she was wrong about him.

And now she was dead.

The letter gave him little go off of.  It just mentioned her date of death—six days ago—and the contact information for their office.  It said she’d left him several things that he would need to sort out.  Also, there was the issue of her funeral.

“For fuck’s sake,” he cursed, tossing his head back to look at the ceiling.  Even in her death she taunted him.  Making him bury the bitch?  He couldn’t believe it. 

And why the hell was he getting teary eyed?

He sank to the floor, listening to the silence of his apartment and put his head into his hands.  Fuck.  Why did he feel like this?  She’d been cruel, evil beyond compare for an entire lifetime of nightmares.  Why was he crying for her?

He dug his nails into the wood floor and breathed.  After a few deep breaths, he forced himself to get a hold of himself.  He laughed humorlessly, wiping at his wet face.  Joe would not cry another tear for that woman.

He gathered himself and sat down on one of his boxes—there wasn’t any furniture clear for him to settle on—and called Kaoru.  His best friend answered after a few rings, “Kojiro.”  His voice was warm and affectionate.  Joe felt his heart twist and thump.

He was glad he had Kaoru.  Things had been hard at first, being separated by half the world between them, but Kaoru called him every night and Kojiro texted him each morning.  They kind of had a thing going, something that never quite taken off, but Joe was hoping when he got back to Japan…

“Kaoru,” Joe returned, sounding tired but just as affectionate.  His voice did not betray his breakdown just a moment before.

“Happy birthday, Kojiro.  You’re only two more years from being an old 30-year-old man.”

Joe huffed in amusement.  He’d almost forgot about his birthday.  “Might I remind you that you’re four months older?  Besides, 28 is still young.  I’m not retiring anytime soon.”

“With starting your own restaurant, I would say you’re just starting your career,” Kaoru agreed seriously.

It had been a rough ten years, getting to where Joe was now from being kicked out of his childhood home.  When he first left, he lived at Kaoru’s family home while he finished out high school.  Then he attempted to go to a private university with Kaoru, quickly finding out that college just wasn’t for him.  He didn’t decide to switch to culinary school until he had sunk too much money into the preppy school.  That was his first mistake, attempting to go to school in a place way out of his price range.  Afterwards, he made his way through culinary school, taking any internship he could get his hands on.  On one hand, he only sunk himself into further debt during those years, but on the other, it got the internship that bridged the gap to living in Italy. 

When Joe got the job in Italy, working under one of the best Italian chefs in the world, Kaoru had cried and laughed, congratulating him on his dream job.  It had put a strain on their friendship but look at them now!  Things were fine again and he was heading home!

“I’m applying for the loan as soon as I get home,” Joe said proudly, glad for the distraction.  It was the last step, the only thing standing between him and his ultimate dream.  He would be the best Italian chef in Japan.  “Just sucks that my mom won’t get to see all of my success up close.”

“What?” Kaoru asked.  “Don’t even think about her.  She doesn’t even deserve to see you—”

“I mean,” Joe interrupted with a sigh, “that I just got a letter that she died.”

“She died?  From what?”

“I don’t know,” Joe said with a shrug that Kaoru couldn’t see.  “All I know is that she seems to have left me her crap.  And get this.  She put me in charge of arranging her goddamn funeral!”  He shook his head, placing his head in his free hand.  “She should have taken me out of her will when I left.”

Joe could almost imagine the scowl on Kaoru’s face.  “So, she left you some chores.”

“Seems like it.  I just wanted to let you know so I didn’t miss your call later, in case I’m still busy with this crap.”

Kaoru groaned into the phone.  “I wish she just left you alone.  If she had no one else, her stuff should’ve just been possessed by the government.  Someone else could have taken care of it all.”

“Right, but that’s my mother.  She always had to have the last word.”  Joe pulled the letter to himself again, glancing at the number for the Japanese attorney.  “Look, I’m gonna call them and I’ll call you right after.  I’ll tell you what I find out.”

“Good luck,” Kaoru said softly.  “Whatever happens, I’ll help you with it, okay?  I can help clean out a nasty house if we need to.”

Joe smiled at the floor.  At least Kaoru had his back.  “Thanks, I appreciate it, Kaoru.”  There was a reason he called Kaoru his best friend.  Kaoru always made him feel better.

They said their goodbyes and after he hung up, Joe promptly typed in the attorney’s office, pulling his phone reluctantly to his ear. 

“Tokyo Kokusai attorney office,” a women answered.

“Hi, I’m just calling about this letter I got about my mother’s death?  I’m Kojiro Nanjo.  My mother was Tamika.”

“Oh, of course.  Let me get you to the right person.”

After a bit of shuffling of phones, Joe was put on with a man who had a monotone voice and he poorly delivered a half-assed, “Sorry for your loss.”

“It’s fine,” Joes said, fiddling with the letter for something to do.  “I just wanted to call to figure out what else needed to do, what I could do to get this whole thing behind me.”

“I’m sure you want to see Reki.”

Joe frowned.  Was that the name of some boyfriend of hers or something?  “Sorry, who is that?”

“Oh,” the attorney said, managing to muster some surprise in his monotone voice.  “It says here that your mother left you custody of your brother.”

“Brother?” Joe asked, sitting straight up, bewildered.  “I don’t have a brother.”

“Really?  Well, it says here he’s your half-brother.”

He pinched his nose between two fingers.  “Are you telling me that my mother had another kid?”  It couldn’t be true; he didn’t want it to be.  Why the hell would that witch of a woman have another kid?

“She had him about nine years ago next month.  Real cute kid.”

“I can’t believe it,” Joe hissed, crunching the letter without noticing.  The kid had to be fucked up, a total mess, based on how he was raised.  It was a miracle Joe even came out of it only slightly fucked up. 

The attorney paused before continuing, “Look, Reki is with child services right now.  If you didn’t want to take him in, you wouldn’t have to.  We could move him along to foster care with the hope of adoption.  And, if you want, we can just wrap up everything quietly, if you don’t want to deal with any of it.  It doesn’t sound like you were close.”

Joe opened his mouth to agree, to put the whole ordeal behind him, but he stopped.  A kid, his brother, would get shipped off to who knows where.  “I should at least meet him,” Joe found himself saying.  Curse his fucking bleeding heart.  “And maybe go through a few things of hers.”

The man’s voice had a noticeably cheerful tone, “Good.  We can start there.  How soon can I get you to my office in Tokyo?”

“Three days,” Joe told him.  He glanced at the boxes scattering his apartment, the sun filtering through the window, lighting up the empty apartment in a warm orange glow.  What was he thinking?  He could barely afford moving.  There was no way he could afford a kid.  Why even look at him?  Why even get the poor kid’s hopes up?  “What’s the kid’s name again?”

“Reki.  Reki Kyan.”

Chapter Text

When Joe said that he had no room for a kid, he meant it.  His boxes took up an absurd amount of the living room, way more cramped than it had been back in Italy.  This new apartment was a one-bedroom, smaller than his previous, but he’d gotten rid of a lot that he couldn’t take with him. 

He would meet this little brother of his, but he seriously had nowhere to put the kid…  Even as he thought about it, he knew it was a stupid idea to meet the kid.  What could he even offer?  He had no money, no room, no emotional capacity for childcare.

Even so, he plucked his keys from the counter, locking his new apartment on the way out.  He had a train pass with enough charges to get him through the week.  He planned to get a job while he worked to open his restaurant, so he would have money before too long, but he was also sure that when he saw Kaoru that he would insist on putting extra on Joe’s card, no matter how much he protested.

He took the train to where his lawyer indicated, walking the remaining blocks with a chill that ran through his bones.  Joe had the unfortunate sinking feeling that something big was about to happen.

A paralegal met him at the door.  “Welcome Mr. Nanjo! We’ve all been excited to meet you.”

“Just trying to get this over with,” he said with a sigh.  Meet the kid, get rid of Mom’s house, and never look back.

She smiled wanly.  “Reki’s already here.”

Joe wondered if that was her way of telling him to keep his mouth shut, to watch what he said.  It worked; he straightened, looking around.  “Where?”

“There’s a few things the lawyer wants to disclose to you first, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure, whatever works.”

He was taken into a room after that.  They explained the assets were his to decide to do with.  Some of Reki’s things were still there, so he would need to sort them out whether he decided to take Reki with him or not.  Mom didn’t leave any money (of course not) but he could sell the house.

Joe perked up at the idea of potentially getting enough money for a downpayment for a restaurant location.  The lawyer continued, “Of course, you will need to split the money with Reki.  His share will go into a trust fund for him.”

Joe nodded.  Honestly, the kid probably deserved the whole thing, but who was he to argue with free money?

“We can help you with the sale of the house,” the lawyer said.  “After you take a look at everything, we can discuss the terms.  If you want, we can buy the house off of your hands for a lower price and you will be free to move on from all of this.”  The lawyer clearly knew that Joe wanted nothing to do with any of it but again, Joe couldn’t even be mad about it.  It would make his life a hell of a lot easier.

The lawyer leveled his gaze with Joe’s then.  “Then there’s the subject of Reki.  Before you meet him, I have to warn you that Reki witnessed your mother’s death.”

“What?” Joe said, sitting forward.  “How did she die?”

He sighed, looking down and away, shuffling papers for something to do.  “Unfortunately, overdose.”

“Shit.”

“Reki was the one to call the police.  By the time the paramedics arrived, it was already too late.”

Joe couldn’t help repeat another, “Shit.  Okay, that’s a lot.”

“It is,” the man agreed.  “But Reki is doing well.  He’s optimistic and a pretty cheerful child.”

Joe didn’t know how a kid could even handle something like that.  He tried to imagine what he would’ve done if she died while he was still living there and somehow, he came up blank.  He had zero idea of how he would have felt then, but if he were going off now, he would feel just as blankly numb.

“Would you like to meet him?”

“I don’t think I’ll take him,” Joe said quickly, his chest heavy and uncomfortable.  “I don’t think I can handle it.”

The lawyer nodded gravely.  “I expected as much.  However, you can still meet him if you would like.  It wouldn’t hurt to maintain a relationship with him.  We can find him suitable care regardless.”

Joe nodded slowly.  “Yeah, that’s fine.  I’ll meet him.”  His heart thrummed nervously as he stood to follow the man.  He didn’t know what to expect; maybe a mini-me of Mom in some way. 

When he rounded the corner in the hallway, he stopped in his tracks.

The kid was smaller than he expected.  When he tried to picture a 9-year-old brother, he’d imagined a teen with similar coloring as his mom with black hair, dark eyes, permanent frown.  Here, in this hallway, he was confronted with an entirely different reality.

Reki sat in a plastic chair, sitting on the edge of the seat so that his tiptoes just touched the ground.  He was a lanky kid, an oversized tee and basketball shorts.  His hair was bright red, messy, and freely twisting in all directions.  That bit made Joe’s lips quirk, because Mom always tried to tame his green messy hair into straight flatness.

Then Reki turned to look at him, finally hearing them arrive.  His amber eyes immediately lit up in excitement.  He dropped the bag that Joe hadn’t even noticed him holding, and he jumped up from his seat with a smile.  He was short, only coming to just past Joe’s waist.

“Joe!” Reki exclaimed.  “You came!” He launched himself at Joe with surprising force, wrapping his arms around his middle.

Joe’s eyes widened, standing frozen.  “He knows about me already?” he turned to ask the lawyer.  He felt a twinge of annoyance at the man because hadn’t he told him a few times that he didn’t want to get this kid’s hopes up?

“Well,” the lawyer said uncertainly, “he already knew—”

“Mom told me all about you,” Reki supplied, stepping back.  Joe missed that the kid was shaking.

“Of course, she did,” Joe sighed, placing a hand on his forehead.  When Mom talked about someone, it was never good.

“She said you were a good-for-nothing abandoner who made her life hell,” Reki told him cheerfully, his neck craned upwards to look at him.  “But I always thought you looked cool.”

“Oh, uh, thanks,” Joe said awkwardly.  “She showed you a picture of me?”

“Yeah!  She tried to burn it when I found it but I saved it!  It’s in my backpack.  You want to see it?”  Reki’s expression was hopeful, excited, adoring.

Joe was overwhelmed.  “No, that’s okay.”  He turned to the lawyer again.  “What do we do now?”

The man frowned at him.  “Well, I could take you to a room where the two of you could talk.”  He studied Joe’s face and then continued, “Or I can send you both on your way and I’ll give you the keys to your mother’s place to clear out.  I have a few instructions to give you.”

Beside him, Joe caught the moment when Reki deflated, his excitement gone.  The kid looked… devastated.  That’s when Joe finally saw himself in this kid, his brother, both of them connected by a mother they lost.  And Joe, he found he couldn’t leave Reki behind.  Joe had at least had a roof over his head in his childhood, as much as he hated living with Mom, but Reki… he had no where to go.  He didn’t have a Kaoru to take him in.

Reki only had a Joe.

“What if I take Reki with me to the house?”

The lawyer looked startled and Reki looked between them.  The man asked, “Are you…?”

“I’ll take him for the day,” Joe clarified, leaving the final decision open.  “And I’ll come back and I’ll update you.”  He didn’t know this kid and maybe before he turned his entire life upside down, he would get to know his brother just a little bit. 

The lawyer looked at him approvingly.  “Reki, why don’t you grab your backpack?”

Joe didn’t know how to interact with kids.  The two of them left the lawyer’s office with Reki clutching the straps of his backpack and Joe with the weight of the house keys in his pocket.  They walked next to each other, with a respectful distance between them, but if Joe needed to, he could reach out and grab the kid in case he tried to run into traffic or something.

He grappled for a moment with what to say, settling for the basic questions.  “What grade are you in, kid?”

“Fourth year,” Reki said.  “But I haven’t been in a few days.”

Joe nodded.  It made sense, considering his mother had died and his future was up in the air.  “You like… dogs?”

Reki gave him an unimpressed look.  “Everyone likes dogs.  I like cats, too.”

“Okay,” Joe said, feeling very out of his depths.  They kept walking, this time in silence. 

After a while, Joe realized he was following Reki.  He knew the way to his old home, of course, but this kid, his brother, walked with certainty where Joe hesitated. 

The house stood at the end of the road, looking worse than Joe had left it.  The paint was peeling, the outside a total mess, and when they reached the door, he realized that it wasn’t even properly locked.  The lock looked broken.

Reki pushed inside with a thump of his little body.  The inside was no better, messy and dingy and dark.  A new sense of appreciation washed over Joe as he looked around; he’d made a much better life for himself since he left this place. 

“What do you want to look at?” the kid beside him asked, turning and putting his backpack on the floor.

Joe rubbed at his neck uncomfortably.  “Why don’t we sort through the things you want to keep, first?”

Reki led the way to his room, which Joe realized, had been converted from his own.  It was like déjà vu, entering the small room and finding so many of his own old stuff that remained.  Mom had kept his stuff and thrown a new kid into it. 

“I don’t think I can keep much,” Reki said, looking across the room.  “The CPS lady said I could only bring my backpack.”

Joe was thrown back to the night he packed his duffle and backpack, how little he brought with him.  He’d barely brought anything more than the essentials, mostly clothes.

“Why don’t you pick out stuff you like anyway,” Joe said.  “We’ll see what can be done.”

Reki got to work, putting things in piles in his room.  Joe told him he would be sorting the rest of the house and left to look through the rest.  If there was one thing about Mom that he appreciated now, it was that she’d never been a very material woman.  There wasn’t anything on the walls, no over-the-top collections.  Her room was a bed and a dresser and a standing lamp, the kitchen was the basic supplies, and the living room was a couch, TV and bookshelf.  There really wasn’t much to go through, after all, but it was all incredibly dirty.  Joe tried to think back if it was always like this, but he didn’t remember it being so bare.

He poked his head into Reki’s room and watched Reki put another item into a larger pile.  Joe at first thought that the big pile was for keeping, but when he glanced over the smaller pile, he hesitated.  The small pile held a picture of their mom, a notebook of some kind, a beaten-up action figure that Joe was pretty sure used to be his, and a set of pencils in a nice case.  Something in Joe twisted.

Knocking on the edge of the door frame, he brought the kid’s attention back to him.  “Did Mom get rid of a ton of stuff?”  It felt bizarre to refer to her in that way again.

Reki nodded, continuing his sorting.  “Yeah, she needed money.”

“Must’ve been struggling,” Joe mumbled to himself, looking back around.  He didn’t even remember what job she held when he was here.  She never actually talked to him.

“She bought drugs and beer,” Reki said, unphased by his simple correction.  He added another thing to his large pile.

Joe pointed to the piles with his foot.  “Which pile is which?”

Reki gestured to the big heap which now included the stripped bedding, toys, almost anything Reki could carry.  “This is stuff you can sell.”  He pointed to the four-item pile.  “This is stuff I’ll keep.”

Joe looked up at the ceiling, cursing his mother.  Reki was still sorting when he returned his gaze.  “Keep the bedding, Reki.  We’ll need that.”  He couldn’t keep the bone deep sigh out of his voice.  “And sort by what you actually like and what you don’t care about.  It’ll make it way easier.”  Reki looked at him funny, not understanding at all what he was trying to tell him.  Joe clarified, “We’ll take what you actually like to my apartment.”

The kid stared at him; his disbelief so blatantly obvious.  “I’m going to your house?”

“Yeah, I think so.  So, we can take more, okay?”

“Okay!” Reki said quickly, rushing to pull the blankets from the pile and upsetting the whole thing.  He started sorting anew.

A heavy weight descended on Joe then.  Shit, he was out of his depth now.  Why the hell did he say that?  Now he… now he had to—

“I’ll be right back,” Joe said, his voice gruff with emotion.

Reki glanced at him, concerned.  His small “okay” was barely heard as Joe rushed from the room.

Joe exited the house, closing the door firmly behind him and breathed in the warm afternoon air, clutching at his chest and trying not to have a panic attack.  He’d never attempted to have a pet due to the cost and the responsibility and now he was compulsively taking in a kid?  His brother, he corrected himself.

Yeah, his brother.  It was different.

He sat down on the front step, defeated and scraped his hands over his face.  After a few beats, he did what he always did when he was overwhelmed: he called Kaoru.

Slumping into himself, pressing his head into his free hand, he sighed when Kaoru answered with a warm, “Hey, Joe.  Unload a box or two yet?  Need help?”

“I’m an idiot, Kaoru.”

Kaoru hummed at that.  “And do I dare ask why you think so this time?”

“Because,” Joe told him, practically cocooned into his arms, “that brother I told you about?  Turns out I’m going to take him in, I think.  Well, I’m gonna have to, I already made it sound like I was going to and I can’t let the kid down now, not when I already get his hopes up and—”

“Joe,” Kaoru murmured, his voice soft and exasperated.  “I already knew you would, from the moment you told me about him.”

“You did?”  Joe’s body untensed, slowly unwinding from Kaoru’s calm, steady voice.

“I know you,” Kaoru told him.  “And don’t worry, I’ll help you.”

“Kaoru, you’re a freakin’ life saver.”  It was true.  He didn’t even know where he would be without the other man, his best friend.  “I don’t know how to be a brother.  I’ve been an only child for 28 years.”

“Just start with being kind.”

Joe lifted his head finally, staring at his feet grounded on the pavement.  “Yeah,” he said.  That sounded easy.  “I can do that.”

Chapter Text

Reki looked so small carrying a blanket larger than his body in one arm, a pillow in the other, and a filled backpack on his back.  Joe walked next to him, a couple of bags in his own arms, but he felt a little bad for letting the kid carry so much onto the train and across the town, but Reki insisted.

On this walk, Reki asked Joe questions.  “Where did you go after Mom kicked you out?”

“She didn’t kick me out, I left,” Joe told him.

Reki nodded seriously.  “That make sense,” he said as if it were only natural.  “But where’d you go?”

“I went to live with my best friend and then I went to Italy.”

“Italy?” Reki gasped.  “That’s so far away, like a billion hours on a plane!”

Joe snorted, because he bet it would feel like that for a kid.   “Yeah I guess so, but I had to go to learn how to cook better.”

Reki gave him an odd look.  “You went to another country to learn how to cook?  Why would you do that?  You can do it here!  I did!”

Joe shifted his bags, frowning and glancing down at the kid.  “You know how to cook?”

“Yeah, duh,” Reki said a roll of his eyes.  “Mom told me to learn.”

When Joe thought back to his own childhood, he wondered: did he know how to cook at 9?  With a grim dawning realization, Joe knew he did; that was right around the time he started to teach himself.  He wouldn’t credit his mom for the reason he started his cooking passion, but the desire to not eat mush or charred messes made him hit the cookbooks young.  “What do you cook?”

“I can make rice or I can boil vegetables or I can make spaghetti.  Anything frozen in the oven, is easy.”  Reki stepped on his blanket, tripping on it a bit, but he steadied himself, hiking the blanket up higher.  “What do you make, Joe?”

“I can pretty much make anything at this point, but my specialty is Italian food.”  The dread of his future dropped over him again, then.  He’d called up the lawyer and told him he was taking Reki, and the man was drafting up paperwork for him to do, but he wondered if he were totally out of his financial capabilities by doing this.  He just had to hope the house would sell for enough to keep him afloat and to help start his business.

“Like pizza?” Reki asked excitedly. 

Joe smiled.  “Yeah, like pizza.”

“Where do you live?”

“It’s a place down the street.  You’ll see.”  His worry grew.  He had nowhere to put Reki.  He didn’t even have a proper bed for the kid.  

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Nope,” Joe said easily, glad for distraction.

“A boyfriend?”

Joe hesitated for a second, thinking of Kaoru.  “No, not right now.”

They arrived at the building where Joe’s apartment was, on the top 3^rd floor at the end.  Together, the two of them climbed the stairs and at the top, Joe put his bags down to unlock the door.  He pushed it open and stood back to let Reki in first.

It felt weird to watch the kid trail into his tiny apartment, looking around wide-eyed.  His eyes went over the huge stacks of boxes, not even touched yet.  “It’s so clean,” Reki said.

Joe wasn’t surprised by that.  While Mom didn’t have a lot left in her house anymore, it was pretty disgusting, clearly not cleaned well in a long time.  Joe shrugged and told his little brother, “Well, I just moved in, so management probably gave it a deep clean beforehand.”

Reki didn’t seem to listen to what he said, dropping his stuff on the floor and running to the window with a gasp.  “You have a balcony!”

It was a tiny balcony, barely enough room to put anything on it, but Reki looked amazed anyway.  When he looked back to grin at him, Joe was struck by the adoration in the kid’s eyes.  Why did Reki like him so much?  He hadn’t even done anything yet.  All he did was take him into an unprepared apartment…

“I haven’t unpacked yet,” Joe told him, starting to unload the heavy bags of Reki’s things onto the carpet.  He hadn’t taken anything from Mom’s, having no need for anything that was left.   “You’ll take the bed and I’ll take the couch.”

Reki tilted his head at him, concerned.  “Will your old man back be able to handle it?”

“Hey, I’m not old,” Joe protested.  “I’m only 18 years older than you, kid.”

Reki looked at him like he was stupid.  “Mom said she had you at 17, so you’re old enough to be a dad!”

“Way to make a guy feel ancient!” Joe shot back, unable to stop a small surprised laugh.  Kids were brutal.   “And I don’t plan to have kids, so I won’t be a dad ever.”

“Why?  Doesn’t everyone have kids?”

“Not everyone wants to and not everyone should.  Mom should never have had kids; she never really wanted any and she wasn’t a good mother.”

“She wanted kids,” Reki protested, completely serious, his expression was borderline distressed.

Oh yeah, Joe forgot he was talking to an actual kid.  Mom’s other kid.  Joe quickly corrected, “Yeah, I’m sure you’re right, Reki.”  He turned away and got to work finding the box with his sheets in it so he could at least make a bed for Reki.

“Put your stuff in the bedroom,” he told Reki as he started to make the bed.  There was nothing else in the room except the bed, which was fine since it saved him time from having to move things.  When he was done with the bed, he placed Reki’s comforter over the top.  It looked pretty good.

Reki looked around the small room.  “You’re really gonna sleep on the couch?”

“Yep,” Joe said with a nod. 

“You could get another bed and we could sleep in the same room like normal brothers!”

Joe laughed.  Yeah, there was no way he was doing that, but he could appreciate the offer.  “No, that’s okay, kid.  I’ll be totally fine on the couch.  In fact, I might go take a nap quick before my friend comes over.  Did I mention Kaoru, my best friend?”

“Is that the same best friend you went to live with before?” Reki asked.

“That’s the one,” Joe nodded.  “Wake me up if you need anything.”  He cracked the door on the way out and flopped down on the couch, dead tired.  When he picked out this cheap couch, he hadn’t thought that he would be sleeping on it long-term, but that was okay, he could handle it.  He slept in a lot of weird places over the years.

As soon as he hit the couch, he realized how bone-tired he was.  All the packing and worrying and traveling had taken its toll.  He was asleep in an instant.

Joe woke to sounds he didn’t recognize and a weight on his body.  Where was he?  What was happening?  His brain was foggy that he couldn’t process it for a moment.   There were voices, too.  Why were there voices?  He lived alone.

He managed to pry his eyes open, first seeing a blanket tucked over him, and then two figures moving quietly around his living room, one tall, one so short.  Reki.  Oh shit, Reki.

He sputtered awake, sitting up with his head pounding, and then registered who was there with Reki.  Kaoru.

Kaoru looked over from the box he was unpacking of pots and pans on the counter and smiled softly at him.  “Kojiro, you’re awake.”

Reki paused, unpacking another box close by of Joe’s books, mostly cookbooks.  He didn’t have a bookshelf and he’d been planning to shove it in a corner or a closet, and he almost instructed Reki to leave it, but he realized most of the boxes were open and everything was scattered around, organized into piles.

“How long was I asleep?”

“Four hours,” Reki told him.

Joe blinked, turning his head to the balcony window and found it dark outside.  Shit, he hadn’t even fed the kid yet, or himself.  His stomach ached with hunger, having not eaten all day.

“I let your Kaoru friend in,” Reki said proudly, gesturing to Kaoru who leaned on the counter with a bemused expression.  “And I made mac and cheese for you!”

“Uh, thanks, Reki,” he said, swinging his feet to the ground and scrubbing his hands over his face.  What the hell was happening?  Why did he feel like the kid in the situation suddenly? 

He stood and beckoned Kaoru to him.  “Kaoru, may I see you in the kitchen?”

Kaoru followed him the few short steps around the counter and he leaned back against a cabinet and Joe did the same next to him, crossing his arms uncomfortably.  He lowered his voice so Reki wouldn’t hear.  “So, you’ve met my brother.”

Kaoru nodded.  “Yes, I have,” he said.  He gestured to the mac and cheese still on the stove and a bowl next to it.  “You should eat something.”

“I’m not hungry, I—”  He stopped when he noticed Kaoru’s unimpressed look.  “Okay fine.”  He put the remaining food into a bowl, noticing a dirty dish already in the sink, meaning Reki already ate, and started shovel noodles into his mouth.  He could make a mac and cheese that would be way more delicious, but right now the boxed meal hit the spot.  “Where did he even find this?”

“I brought over some things for you,” Kaoru said.

Joe looked at Kaoru fully.  He hadn’t seen his best friend in person in over a year.  They’ve video called, of course, but it wasn’t the same as seeing him in the flesh.  Kaoru’s pink hair looked soft and well kept, tucked into a ribbon at one shoulder, and he sported his new glasses he wore for his worsening eye sight, not that he would admit to it.  Since Kaoru had taken to the family occupation of calligraphy ceremonies and writing, he adorned more kimonos, such as the one he wore now, a maroon ensemble made of beautiful and, likely, expensive material.  He looked stunning.

He slowly set the bowl aside.  “It’s good to see you, Kaoru.”

Kaoru huffed at him.  “Don’t act like a stranger.  Come on,” he tugged at Joe’s arm and pulled him into a hug that Joe returned fiercely.  He hugged Kaoru like a starving man.  He breathed Kaoru in subtly.

“I missed you,” Joe said in his ear.  He was slightly taller than Kaoru but not by much, so he didn’t need to stoop far to reach his level.  They fit well together.

“I missed you, too.  You know that,” Kaoru told him, slowly parting them.  Kaoru hadn’t been shy about saying it and Joe was glad because he’d been afraid of losing Kaoru so many times when he was abroad, even if Kaoru came to visit a few times in those years away.

They stood apart now but still close, gravitating to each other, Joe supposed.  “Came back kind of a mess, didn’t I?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Kaoru told him.  “Though, I don’t think you should be sleeping on a couch.  Kojiro, you know I can help you.  We could get you a bigger apartment or I can pay for another bed.”

“I got it under control.”  He didn’t want to owe Kaoru more than he already did.  “Don’t spend your money on me.”

“I’ve got more than enough for the both of us.”  He looked away as he said it and then tacked on, “And for Reki.”  Kaoru’s family had been well off, not rich, but they had left Kaoru a sizable inheritance when both parents died in a car accident two years ago.  Beyond that, Kaoru had become the most impressive calligrapher in the country and was doing pretty well for himself. 

“I can manage,” Joe said.  He wanted to prove to himself that he could do it on his own.

Kaoru looked exasperated but didn’t argue.  He definitely was used to Joe refusing his financial help as of late.

“Are you really not boyfriends?”

They both jumped, having been caught up in their own world, both forgetting the 9-year-old in their living room.  Reki stood at the edge of the tiny kitchen, clutching an armful of more kitchen utensils to be put in a drawer.

Kaoru shook his head, rolling his eyes.  “No, we’re not dating, Reki.”  The way he said it had Joe’s heart twisting with uncertainty and confusion.  Did Kaoru not want to date him?  His tone sounded exasperated and Joe didn’t know what that meant.

“Definitely not,” Joe agreed even as his heart sank.  He’d been hoping…

Reki looked between them and then opening a drawer and slid everything inside.  Joe made a note to organize those later, his kitchen supplies were his babies and should be handled with care, but he couldn’t fault Reki for helping.

Reki turned back to them, pushing at the sleeves of his oversized tee that went down to his elbows.  Joe caught a glimpse of a faded bruise on his right arm.  “What happened to your arm, kid?”

The kid dropped the sleeves back down, looking away.  “Got hit at gym.”  He didn’t say anything more, just headed back to the boxes to continue unpacking things. 

He turned to Kaoru, leaning in again.  “What do you think?”

“He’s a cute kid,” Kaoru told him, voice softened and whispered.  “He bossed me around while I helped him unpack things.  Makes me think he’s used to being a responsible kid.”

“Sounds like someone I know,” Joe said dryly, knowing exactly what crap Mom probably put him through.

“He’s going to need a proper childhood,” Kaoru said, looking at him meaningfully.  “If you’re anything to go by.”

Joe sighed, ruffling his hair tiredly.  “Yeah, you’re not wrong.  I’ll do my best.”  Even as he said it, the weight of the world seemed to crash down onto his shoulders once again and he struggled to take in an even breath. 

“I can watch him sometimes,” Kaoru told him. 

Joe smoothed his hands over his pants, trying to wipe away the sweat.  “I’ve got it under—”

“—Control, I know,” Kaoru said, nodding but dismissing Joe’s words.  “But you can’t do it all.  Besides, since you acquired a brother, he’s my brother, too.  We’re in this together.”

Oh, so maybe Kaoru considered he and Joe… brothers.  That made Joe want to die.  But he couldn’t deny that he was incredibly touched, that Kaoru would invite himself into this crazy mess that was Joe’s life.  “I’m going to be thanking you through the end of time.”

“Please don’t,” Kaoru said.  He picked up Joe’s picked at mac and cheese and passed it back to him.  “Eat the rest.”

“You got it, captain,” Joe said with a salute.  He ate and they talked, catching up, and they watched Reki in the living room sort and organize and make Joe’s apartment a home.

Chapter Text

The next day, Joe woke up just as groggy as he had from his nap.  His back ached from the couch and he felt gross from not putting on proper pajamas.  He usually slept in his boxers, but he wasn’t going to traumatize Reki and then he couldn’t find which box or which sorted pile held the lone pair he owned.

He scrubbed at his face, wondering what woke him when it was barely light out, when he smelled eggs being made.  Glancing at the kitchen he found Reki cooking him yet another meal.

Joe was a chef, for god’s sake.  He needed to be cooking for the kid and not vice versa.

He stood, his knees cracking from being stiffly bent on the couch, and he approached the counter that separated the kitchen, stooping so he could look through the space beneath the cabinets.  “What are you doing up?”

Reki jumped a little and turned, spatula clutched in hand.  “I made you breakfast!”

“I see that,” Joe said, crossing his arms onto the counter.  “You know that’s my job?  I’ll make you meals around here.”

Reki frowned, tilting his head.  “You won’t get tired?”

“No, I won’t,” he tried to assure him.  “I might seem really tired now, but that’s just the jet lag.  Still getting used to the time zone.”

“Oh,” Reki said.  “I mean, you can make breakfast tomorrow.”

“I’m glad I have your permission,” Joe said, grinning.  “It’s pretty early, what are you doing up actually?”

“I’m going to school,” Reki said, pointing his spatula at the backpack by the door.

“Right,” Joe said, suddenly feel so unprepared.  He hadn’t even considered school for Reki.  “How are you getting there?”

“I can walk,” Reki said with a shrug.

Must not be far, then.  “Alright.  What time are you going to be back?”

“Four,” Reki said, pulling out plates out that Joe did not put away himself. 

“Okay.  I’m going out job hunting today and I’ll be back around the same time as you and I’ll cook the best meal you ever eaten.  How does that sound?”

Reki nodded enthusiastically, handing Joe a plate and fork.  He looked so short when he went on his tiptoes to get it all the way over the counter to Joe, reminding him again how young this kid was. 

Joe took a bite of the eggs and immediately pinpointed that they were a little overcooked, but he just smiled at Reki, who sat on the carpet with his plate to eat.  “Pretty good, kid.  Oh, wait, do you need lunch for school?”

Reki took another bite before telling him.  “I’ll be okay.”

Joe nodded.  “Ah, they serve lunch where you go?  That’s pretty cool.  When I was a kid, Mom used to make me these nasty sandwiches.”

Reki snorted, choking on his food.  “She really did suck at making anything,” Reki agreed.

“It was an abomination,” Joe said gravely before shoveling more food into his mouth.

Finding a job wasn’t easy.  What he really wanted to do was throw everything into his business now, but he needed to wait.  He needed to see what would happen with the house before he went forward, because that money from the sale would decide how he got started.  His original plan was to get a full-on loan and slave away in the restaurant every waking hour he had… but now he had a kid at home waiting for him, needing him to be there. 

How fucking wild was that?  He had a brother who fully relied on him.

So, he went out job hunting, stopping by a few businesses with his resume to answer their help wanted ads.  By the end of the day, he was exhausted, hungry, but he’d scored a job.  It wasn’t far from the house, just a walk and a short train ride away, but it was pretty low pay.  “An office job,” Joe mourned to Kaoru on the phone as he walked.  The misting rain was starting to pick up again and Joe starting to regret not taking an umbrella.  His nice work clothes were getting wet and it was the only set he had right now.  He would have to wash it when he got back.  “Can you imagine me sitting in a cubicle?”

“You’ll look so out of place,” came Kaoru’s barely-covered laugh. 

“It’s just temporary, just temporary,” Joe repeated as a mantra to himself. 

“When do they sell the house?”

“I signed a bunch of paperwork yesterday, along with Reki’s custody paperwork, so I think they will get started pretty soon, but it doesn’t feel soon enough.  I just want to get started on my dream already.”

“I know you do,” Kaoru said softly.  “And I know you’ll make it.”

Joe smiled, ducking his head from the now pounding rain.  “Thanks, Kaoru.”  His voice was a little too affectionate for a mere best friend, but he couldn’t help it.  “Look, I gotta go.  I need to get home to cook Reki a wicked meal.”

“What are you making him?”

“I’m gonna make him a margherita pizza from scratch with a caprese salad.  I don’t have time to make some rolls, but I can—”  He cut himself and groaned.

“You forgot to grocery shop,” Kaoru guessed.

Joe slid a hand over his face, angry at himself.  “Yeah, I’m an idiot.  Looks like I’ll be ordering in.”

“I did leave you some groceries yesterday, remember?  But I am sure Reki will be fine with anything you make.”

“Hmm, probably.  I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Alright, goodnight, Kojiro.”

“See ya, Kaoru.”

He hung up and hunched in on himself as the rain continued to spatter him.  He checked his phone: 4:21PM.  He hoped Reki had made himself at home.

He got to the complex and sighed in relief when he slipped inside, climbing the stairs to reach his apartment.  When he got to his door, he came up short, halting when he saw Reki sitting there.   The kid was absolutely drenched, sitting in the hallway, leaning over his notebook and doing what looked like homework, trying not to get it wet.

“Reki,” he said in surprise.  Then it dawned on him.  “Shit, I didn’t give you a key, did I?”

Reki shrugged, quickly piling his stuff together and standing gingerly, holding the stack away from his sopping clothes.  “It’s okay.”

“It’s definitely not,” Joe said, struggling the keys from his pocket.  He rammed them into the door and shoved it open.   How could he already fuck up so bad?  He held the door open as the kid trudged past, taking off his small, old, water-logged shoes at the entrance.  “I need to get us some umbrellas, too.  Sorry, kid, I messed up a lot today.”

Reki tilted his head, looking at him like he was crazy.  “No, you didn’t?”

Joe felt frantic, not wanting to be exactly what his mom was.  “Look, I didn’t get you a key, an umbrella, and I forgot to grocery shop today, so that’s three things I messed up for you today.  Why don’t you take a shower and change, and I’m gonna run down to the front office to get an extra key, and I’ll pick up some dinner for us, okay?”

Reki was still frowning at him.  “If you want to.”

Why did that kill Joe?  Why did that twist the knife in his gut?  Reki must really not believe in him, or Mom was just so uncaring—What was he thinking?  Of course, Mom was neglectful and of course Reki believed that to be normal.  He remembered how it was to live with her. 

“Just hold tight,” he said, and he was out the door, desperate to fix his mistakes.

Everything took about an hour.  The landlord easily gave him an extra key and he picked up two umbrellas at the corner store, even though the rain was letting up.  Then he picked up take out from a little place he remembered he liked with some of the best soba noodles around.

When he returned, he found the kid unloading more boxes.  His hair was still wet and dripping and his face was flushed.  “I thought you were going to shower,” Joe said, setting everything onto the counter so that he could remove his now soggy dress shoes.

Reki shrugged.  “I couldn’t find the towels.  I’m still looking for them.”

Joe could see Reki shiver.  The balcony door was still cracked from Joe letting air in last night while he slept, but now the air was cold.  He crossed the room and shut it, cursing himself internally.  He started to take boxes off the remaining pile, rummage through, looking for the bathroom stuff.

When he finally did, he realized he had no shampoo or soap; at least, not in this box.  “There’s gotta be some around here, somewhere,” he muttered to himself, breaking more boxes open.  He thought he ordered all of the necessities...  Eventually he found it in the very last bottom box and he turned back to the kid.

Reki had slowed his own work, watching Joe intently.

“Here, I found everything.  Take a hot shower, okay?”  If the kid felt like Joe did right now, he had to be very cold, even with dry clothes on.  His red hair was still weighed down with dripping rain water.  “I’ll get food ready for us.”

“Thanks,” Reki said, taking the items and slipping away into the bathroom.  A moment later, the shower could be heard.

Joe plated up dinner for his brother and then turned back to the boxes, feeling anxious, and he quickly got to work to emptying the rest of the moving boxes onto the floor.  There.  At least everything was out in the open and they could grab what they needed.  He started to tear down the boxes to be recycled. 

Reki came out of the shower just as Joe finished the last one.  He still looked flushed, his hair still dripping but this time from warm water, and Joe needed to do something about it.  “Let me dry your hair for you.”  He grabbed the hair dryer from the floor and approached him.

The kid cast him a frown.  “Mom told me to air dry my hair.”

“I don’t want you to get a cold,” Joe said.  He paused, glancing back at the steaming food.  “Actually, do you want to eat first, or dry your hair first?”

Reki glanced at the bowls waiting at the counter and his stomach seemed to decide for him.  “Eat.”  He said it shyly.

“Yeah, okay,” Joe said, setting the hairdryer aside.  “Then we’ll dry it up so you can be cozy and warm.”

Reki slowly followed him to the counter, holding his hands out while Joe set the warm bowl into them.  “I like soba,” Reki said.

Joe mentally noted that and led them to the floor, sitting on the carpet to eat.  “I need to get a table,” he noted to himself.

His little brother watched him over his bowl as they ate together.  He swallowed his first few bites quickly and then told Joe, “I didn’t know where to put my wet clothes, so I left them in the bathroom.”

“I’ll grab them after I get out of my own soaked clothes,” Joe said.  “Gotta do laundry tonight, anyway.”

“I can help,” Reki said, straightening.  “I’m good at laundry.”

“I’m sure you are,” Joe agreed.  He remembered doing a lot of laundry and most other chores around the house as a kid.  “But I can do that bit.  You should do your homework.”

“Already done,” Reki said.  He looked proud of it and his eyes were on Joe intently.

“That’s great,” Joe told him, watching Reki cling to each word.  “You did good, kid.  Then, you can do what you want.  Relax.”

“Relax?”

“Yeah, like…” Joe trailed off.  He had no idea what kids did for fun and he could hardly remember what he did around the house that he liked as a kid, other than cook.  “Like what do you like to do for fun?”

“Talking with my friend at school,” Reki supplied.

“What about at home?”

Reki blinked at him, his expression blank.  Ah, crap.  Mom really fucked him up.  Reki said after a beat, “I can keep organizing the house stuff.”

“Yeah, I guess that would be fine,” Joe said, looking around.  It was still messy, but an systematized mess thanks to Reki’s crafty organizing.

They ate a little more in silence.  Joe quietly noted a few things more he should probably save up to buy, like maybe a radio or TV to fill this quiet.

When they were done, he beckoned Reki with him, planting the kid to stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom while Joe plugged in the hair dryer.  The sound blared loudly but the air from it was pleasantly warm as he started to card through Reki’s hair.  The kid’s hair was soft, maybe getting a little long, but it was an impressive shade of glossy red. 

Reki’s hair dried fluffy and wild but as Joe ruffled it, it laid right, looking well-groomed.  “There you go, kid.  Feel a little better?” Reki nodded but Joe could still see he looked a little red-faced.  He pressed a hand to Reki’s forehead, pushing his hair up and out of the way.  His skin was warm to the touch.  “You really feel fine?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Reki said.  His eyes were intently on Joe again and Joe had no idea why, that is, until Reki said, “You’re the best, Joe.”

“I am?  Why?”

“You care a lot,” Reki said, as if that explained it all.

And god, did that make Joe hurt.  “You care a lot, too.”

Reki beamed at that.

Joe ruffled his hair again and lightly pushed him out the door.  “Now out, I gotta shower.  Do whatever you want, kid.”  He closed the door after him and turned on the shower, feeling relieved as the room steamed with considerable warmth.

He spent the rest of the evening struggling with the coin laundry down the hall, and then making a list of what he needed to save up for.  His bank account was dangerously low, but maybe with the sale of the house, he could first buy himself and Reki essentials and then work on his business.  He didn’t want to delay getting to work on his restaurant, but he did need to make a good effort to take care of Reki.  He would be better than what his mom was.

Reki all the while kept at his sorting and putting things away where needed.  Joe eventually got out a drill and started to hang things on the wall—some pictures, a mirror, a bookshelf. 

By the time he collapsed onto the couch, exhausted but feeling accomplished, he watched Reki disappear into the bedroom to go to bed.  He still looked flushed.  He really, really hoped the kid wasn’t getting sick.  Tomorrow was his first day at the office job and he couldn’t miss it.  If he were to keep them afloat, keep them fed, he needed to work.

He worried, staring at the dark ceiling.  Eventually he scolded himself and told himself to go to bed, that he would figure it out in the morning if he had to. 

It would be fine.

Chapter Text

Reki woke up sweaty and in pain.  He blinked up to the ceiling and, for a moment, wondered where he was.  After a few deep breaths, unable to breathe properly through his nose since it was stuffed up, he started to remember and phase back into reality.  He was at Joe’s.

And Mom was dead.

He sat up, wincing as his stomach roiled.  Why?  Why did he have to get sick?  Joe wouldn’t like it if he was sick… right?

He pictured what Mom would’ve wanted if she knew he was sick, and he could practically hear her.  Get in your room and shut up.

If he had to puke, he had to do it quietly.  Anything to not disturb her as she laid on the couch, clutching a drink.

Reki shakily moved his blanket aside, testing his body to see how bad it was.  He didn’t immediately want to go puke in the bathroom, so that was a good sign.  Not that he would, since it would wake Joe up.

Why can’t you be more like Joe?

Reki could hear her again and he winced involuntarily.  It was her favorite line along with: Joe was never this way or Joe used to—

And on and on it went.  She praised him so deeply while simultaneously dragging his name through the mud.  He once had yelled back at her that maybe he would go live with Joe instead, since he was so great, even though he didn’t have a clue where his older brother was.  Mom would never admit that she didn’t even know.

But then she screamed back: Try it and see how quickly he abandons you.  Just like he did to me, he will do to you.  Go ahead, go and try to find him.

Reki knew he lost that time, helpless and dependent on a mother who did not love him.  She loved Joe more than him and nothing ever changed that fact.

Mom had been right, of course.  When Reki met his older brother who looked kindly down at him, who gave him his bed and slept on the couch, Reki knew that Mom was right; Joe was better than him or even Mom.  He was cool and nice and—

Reki kept waiting for him to get mean, like Mom.  But even if he didn’t punch him like Mom did, maybe Mom was right about the other side of Joe.  Joe would get rid of him when Reki got to be too much of a nuisance or when he got bored of him.

So, Reki couldn’t be sick.  Not now, not ever.  He couldn’t risk it.

He breathed in shakily, his nose still stuffed, and he wished he knew what time it was.  The room was still dark, meaning it wasn’t time for school yet, but surely, he needed to look okay just in case Joe came looking for him and he needed a mirror to make sure he did.

He got out of bed, dropping the blanket behind him and gingerly made his way across the room.  The room was virtually empty other than the bed and his bags still on the floor in the corner.  The bags were the only things in the whole apartment that hadn’t been unpacked.  He was afraid to hope he could stay.

Easing the door open, he quickly made his way across the short distance to the bathroom, glancing back at the dark shape on the couch, hoping his brother was still asleep.  He closed the door and flipped on the light after, blinding himself.  He had to stand up straight to see himself in the mirror, a little too tall for him, but he could see how his hair was sticking to his sweating face.

Quickly, he got to work at washing away the sweat, drying himself with the hand towel.  Then, he sat down on the floor and waited.  His stomach churned and twisted but after a few minutes, he still didn’t feel the urge to puke.

He almost wanted to sit there all night but he knew that Joe would be suspicious, so he needed to get back to bed.  So, he slipped out of the bathroom before he could change his mind and fall asleep on the cool floor.  He glanced again at Joe’s couch as he passed, tense and uncomfortable, but Joe didn’t move or call after him.

He closed his door and got into his bed, but he didn’t lie down.  He knew if he laid down the pain would only get worse.  So, he stayed sitting in the dark for a long time, waiting and waiting through the pain for morning to come.

Reki could handle pain.

Mom had once backhanded him for asking to stay home from school.  So, when he heard Joe shift outside the bedroom door, Reki got to work at sorting his backpack for the day of school, new key in the front zipper pocket.  He got dressed after, thankful that he’d showered the night before.  He didn’t have the energy for it this morning.

“Reki,” Joe called after several minutes of Reki sitting quietly on his bed, fully dressed.  “Breakfast!”

Reki’s stomach clenched and he winced as it protested, threatening to make him puke at the thought of eggs.  He swiped again at his forehead to push away the sweat, and then made his way to the door, pushing it open and trying to look normal. 

Joe was already sitting on the floor with his plate of eggs and toast and bacon.  “Grab some grub and sit with me!”  Joe was dressed for his new job, in a button up shirt and nice pants. 

Reki put some toast on his plate and then hesitated.  He only wanted the toast, but one time Mom had pushed him into a wall when he didn’t eat her cooking, so he took the eggs and a slice of bacon.  Maybe he could get rid of it when Joe wasn’t looking.  

He sat down on the carpet gingerly, sitting close but not too close to his brother.  The man was eating enthusiastically while Reki took a small bite, chewing extra carefully.

“What, you don’t like it?” Joe asked. 

Reki hadn’t realized that that he was watching him and Reki quickly sat up straighter.  “No, it’s good!  I’m just not that hungry.”  Joe still watched him and Reki stared back, realizing with a pang that they had the same-colored eyes.  Joe’s were a darker brown and Reki’s more amber, but it was the same anyway!  “Don’t worry, I’ll eat it all!”

“Eat whatever you like,” Joe said with a shrug, smiling.  “As long as it’s good.”

Reki nodded rapidly.  “Yeah, totally good.”  It tasted like ash on his tongue, chewing mechanically as his stomach clenched again.  He was sure it was delicious normally.

They finished up their food—Reki dumped the food into his backpack when Joe wasn’t looking, intending to feed it to a cat on his way to school—and soon they were both out the door.  They hadn’t left at the same time the day before, but Reki wished it were the same today, because now Reki had to be okay on the way to school.

They walked quietly, side by side, until Joe asked, “Which way to school?”

Reki pointed vaguely in the way he went.  It was far, really, really far, from Joe’s place, but it was okay.  He liked to go to school by his old house.  He had a few friends there that weren’t mean to him.

“Do you want me to walk you?  I have a little time before I go to the new job,” Joe said, glancing at his watch.

Reki wanted so badly for Joe to walk him to school.  How cool would it be to show his older brother off at the school? 

But Joe wouldn’t like walking that far to school and Reki suddenly felt the need to throw up.  He told Joe, “You can’t be late for your first day!”  He tried to say it cheerily.

Joe laughed.  “You’re right.”  He reached over and ruffled Reki’s hair.  Reki liked when he did that, but not now.  It made him want to cry.  “See you at 4, kid?”

“Yeah,” Reki said breathlessly, urging Joe with his whole being to go already. “Bye!”

Reki continued down a road that didn’t even go to school, if only to get away from Joe.  As soon as his brother was out of sight, he threw up in a bush, puking his guts out until his stomach eased.

He was crying, he realized then as he breathed harshly.  He wiped them away and backed away from the bush and contemplated his next move.  Reki had meant to go to school, he really had, but now he knew he would only get sent home sick if he did.  And it was Joe’s first day at work.  He couldn’t make things worse for him, he couldn’t!

Instead, he would risk going home.  His teacher might call Joe, but she also might not have Joe’s phone number. 

He turned around and went home, looking forward to sleeping it off in his bed.

Reki cried in his bed when his stomach clenched painfully again.  He didn’t have anything left inside of him!  Why wouldn’t it stop?

He leapt from his bed when he involuntarily gagged, rushing to the bathroom just in time to puke stomach bile into the toilet bowl. 

He wanted Mom.

When he was done gagging fruitlessly, he flushed it and collapsed again the toilet, continuing to cry.  He knew if he was even with Mom, she would never comfort him, but she would put a bucket by the side of his bed and pull the blanket up higher over his shoulders as she told him to get over it.

He pushed at his tears, laying onto the cold floor, too tired to go back to bed.  “Why’d you have to die,” he murmured angrily at the wall.

Reki laid there until sleep took him fitfully into its claws.

“It was alright,” Joe bemoaned to Kaoru on the walk home.  “It’s just basic stuff anyone could do at an office.”

“Thank god they have you doing basics,” Kaoru laughed through the phone.  “What if they found out that you don’t know how to handle spreadsheets or how to make presentations?”

“It will never get that far,” Joe responded, a grin on his face.  “It’s a temp job, remember?  I help them file crap and do mindless data entry all day long.  Just need to hold out for a little while.”

“Don’t let them find you out, Kojiro,” Kaoru taunted anyway.

Joe laughed again, unable to do anything but laugh uncontrollably when he was around Kaoru or talking to Kaoru.  He felt as giddy now as he did years ago when he first realized how big of a crush he had on his best friend. 

His keys jingled as he took them from his pocket, approaching his door.  “I’m home,” Joe told Kaoru, tucking his phone between his shoulder and chin to work the door open.  “You coming over for dinner?”

“You’re my personal chef,” Kaoru said.  “I wouldn’t miss it.”  Was that flirting? Sometimes it felt like it.  “Are you late home?  Is Reki already back?”  Now that bit wasn’t flirting.  Joe was totally reading too far into this.

He hummed, closing the door after him.  “He should be.  Hold on.”  He turned to look around the apartment.  Everything seemed untouched, other than the backpack by the shoes.  “Reki?” he called, removing the phone a little so he wasn’t yelling into Kaoru’s ear.

A beat of silence had Joe freezing up.  It was 5, so the kid should be home.  “Reki?” he called again, pacing further into the apartment.  He was home, his backpack told him that, but why wasn’t he answering?

The bathroom light was on.  He knocked on the door quickly.  “Reki, you in there?  Okay, kid?”

“Everything okay, Joe?” Kaoru’s distant voice called from the phone.

Joe couldn’t even think about answering, just worried that the kid wouldn’t say anything.  “I’m coming in,” he called.

Luckily, the door wasn’t locked and he took in the scene.  His little brother was huddled on the tiled floor, curled into himself.  His face looked red and sweaty and his clothes were sticking to him. 

“Reki,” he gasped, setting the phone on the floor as he stooped down to rouse him.  “Kid, you okay?  You with me?”

Reki whined under his touch, lashes flickering as he opened his eyes.  He looked horrified at seeing Joe.  “I’m sorry, Joe,” he gasped miserably.  “I’m sorry.”

Joe didn’t understand why he would apologize.  He pressed a hand to the kid’s forehead just as Reki started to cry.  “Shit, you’re burning up.”

“Joe, is he okay?” Kaoru’s disembodied voice floated up.

“Yeah, just… sick,” he finished, realizing how stupid he was.  He knew the kid was getting sick last night and he just let him go to school like that, without even checking.  But what could he have done?  He had to work!

He felt disgusted at himself as he finally understood a little more why Mom always left him home alone.  “Come on,” he said to himself and Reki as he scooped him up into his arms.  “Kaoru, bring medicine over, can you?”

“I’ll be right over,” Kaoru said before the phone hung up.

The kid was light as Joe carried him to the bedroom.  He laid him in the bed and wiped the sweat onto his trousers.  He needed to get the kid into fresh clothes, he decided, so he leaned Reki forward, pulling the oversized tee over his head as Reki weakly protested.

Joe laid him back gently and then froze.  Yellows, purples, greens… Reki was beaten up.  It was faded, but this… this was really bad.

His breath caught in his throat as he imagined all the explanations. 

No, Mom, please tell me you didn’t.

Chapter Text

Joe sighed when Reki finally dropped into sleep.  It was fitful, Joe could tell, by the clench of his brows and the occasional mutter of his lips.  He wore a fresh pair of pajamas that he’d finally gotten Reki into.  It was from Reki’s bags and Joe recognized them; they were hand-me-downs from his own childhood. 

How bizarre to see a kid in clothes he’d forgotten about.  Well, when he started making a profit with his business, he would buy Reki a whole wardrobe of clothes… and maybe a dresser.

Joe glanced back at the bags on the floor, unpacked and untouched.  He wondered why Reki had spent so much time helping him put together the rest of the apartment, but didn’t bother to do anything in here.  Maybe he felt uncomfortable about taking the only room.

As he waited for Kaoru to arrive, he quietly got to work at putting Reki’s stuff away in the closet, realizing that he would need to buy some hangers.  He’d put his own clothes in the living room closet, stacked neatly on the floor.

There was a knock at the door, so Joe backed away from the closet, leaving the room and closing the door behind him so Reki wouldn’t be disturbed.  As expected, Kaoru stood at this front door when he opened it.  The man’s hair was windswept and he looked frazzled, looking beautiful even in such a state.  He held a bag at the ready.

“Got the goods?” Joe joked with a half-aborted smile.

Kaoru could see right through him, his expression sympathetic.  He moved inside when Joe stepped back, and asked, “How bad is Reki?”

“Sick enough to need whatever you brought with you.  He’s asleep now, but I really need to get him to take something.”  He accidentally kicked Reki’s backpack as he tripped over it.  “Ah, crap,” he murmured, snatching it up.

It hung open, light, so he peaked inside.  There were a few books and folders, but he sighed when he saw what was at the bottom.  “I need to get him to eat something.”

“He hasn’t been eating?” Kaoru asked.  “Poor kid.”

“Well, at least, he put his breakfast in his backpack.”  He placed the bag on the kitchen counter to clean out, pulling out the papers and things so it would not smash eggs to them any further.  Joe would have to wipe it out later.

“I brought a variety of things he could use,” Kaoru said, making his way into the living room.

Joe followed, abandoning the backpack for later, and sat down on the couch when Kaoru did, watching him pull things out and place the boxes between them.  “You’re like a pharmacy,” Joe said in awe.

Kaoru gave him an unimpressed look.  “I remember what a big baby you were when you got colds,” Kaoru told him.  “If he’s anything like you, I know how to take care of it.”

“I don’t know if it’s just a cold,” Joe said unhelpfully.  He had no idea what Reki had and he was terrible at spotting illness.

“Well, I brought things for other things too, like the flu.”

“What would I do without you?  I should send Reki to live with you.”

Kaoru snorted.  “You should come, too.  We’d be quite the family.”

God, did Joe want to.

Kaoru continued, “I could go in and look at him and then we can decide what to do.”  He started to get up but Joe grabbed his wrist, pulling him back into place.  Kaoru stared at him, for once caught off-guard by Joe.  “What is it?”

“He’s hurt, Kaoru.”

“What, did he fall or—?”

Joe let go, sighing again as he scrubbed his hands over his face.  “I think it was Mom.”

Kaoru turned towards him fully.  “What?”

“He has this bruise on his chest, faded, and I think it’s—I’m afraid she—”

“You don’t need to say it,” Kaoru said, glancing at Reki’s door.  “Are you sure?”

Joe shook his head.  “I’m just guessing but I can put two and two together.  The last person he was with was her and when I picture it… I can’t unsee it.”

Kaoru leaned towards him urgently, his hand finding Joe’s.  “Did she ever do it to you?”  He never heard Kaoru so concerned about him, even though Kaoru had worried about him enough over the years, and it made Joe’s heart twist in knots.

“No,” he said.  “She never did.”

Kaoru let out a relieved breath, his fingers slipping away.  Joe missed them immediately.  Kaoru swallowed slowly and followed up with, “Did she ever get close?”

Joe could see the screeching woman in his mind, all those years ago, blocking him from leaving an argument or getting up into his face to yell.  He remembered a few instances where she raised hand, but seemed to think better of it.  “A few times,” he admitted.  He hadn’t even thought about it back then.  It had been normal.

“Oh, Kojiro,” Kaoru said.  His warm fingers were back, covering Joe’s own with a squeeze.

He squeezed back, smiling weakly.  “It was a long time ago.  Reki’s the one who’s had it fresh, I think.”

“And saw her die,” Kaoru mused.

“What am I going to do?”  He let go of Kaoru to press his hands into his face.  “I’m fucked up myself.  She changed me and I don’t know I could be a good guardian to him.  I hardly know what’s normal and now I have this job and I can’t just not go but he’s sick and I—”

Kaoru cut him off by touching his arm gently.  “I’ll stay with him tomorrow.”

“But you—”

“I can bring my work here,” Kaoru told him, his expression totally sure.  “I like kids.”

“You do?”

“I do.  Don’t act surprised.”  Kaoru rolled his eyes at Joe’s bewildered expression.  “And stop putting yourself down.  I wouldn’t be friends with anyone totally fucked up.  You’ll do fine.  And don’t forget, I told you I would help you, right?”

Joe let his shoulders drop, not even aware of how tense they’d been.  “You didn’t sign up to babysit.”

“I signed up to help you and so it’s all-encompassing,” Kaoru told him with a shrug.  “Now, should we give the kid some medicine?”  Kaoru rose, gathering a few boxes from the couch.

Joe stood, too.  “He’s got a fever, sweaty, and hot to the touch.”

“I’ve got just the thing.”

Joe gently kneeled down at the side of the bed with Kaoru at his side.  The kid was still asleep and he felt guilty for even waking him.  “Can we just do this when he wakes up next?”

“If he’s waking up, it’ll because he’s in pain.”

“Oh, alright,” Joe sighed.  He reached over, hesitating for a moment, before brushing at Reki’s hair.  It was still sweaty and greasy.  Joe’s fingers brushed Reki’s clammy skin.

Reki stirred, his face scrunching as he burrowed deeper into his covers.  He whined a little at the contact.

“Reki,” Joe murmured to him, brushing at his hair again.

“Joe?” Reki replied sleepily, like he was still far away in a dream.  He cracked an eye. 

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“I knew it wasn’t Mom.”

“Why not?” Joe asked, desperately wanting to know the answer.

Reki only closed his eyes again.

Joe petted at his hair again.  “Reki, stay awake, will ya?  I need to give you medicine that Kaoru brought up.”

“Kaoru?” Reki murmured, brows furrowing in dazed confusion.

Joe took the opportunity to press a hand to Reki’s forehead, feeling the heat still present.  “How you feeling, kiddo?”

“Bad,” Reki said curtly.

“Then sit up and take some medicine.”

Reki groaned but did as he told.  He rubbed at his eyes while Kaoru poured blue liquid into a tiny cup.  Reki took it immediately as it was passed and the kid made a face after. 

“Gross?” Joe asked.

“The worst,” Reki said.

Kaoru prepared the next dose of medicine so Joe took the opportunity to try to get some information out of Reki while he was still slightly lucid.  “Reki, why do you have a bruise on your chest?”

Next to him, Kaoru paused in his work.

Reki’s eyes turned on him.  They were clearer than before, but haunted.  “I don’t have a bruise.”  His voice was quieter, hushed actually, with a hint of fear that Joe found himself relating to.

“I changed your clothes.  I saw it.”

Reki pulled on the blanket, curling in himself slightly.  “I fell,” Reki said, his tone stiff.  “When I was trying to help Mom not die.”

Joe couldn’t tell if Reki was lying or telling the truth; either way it was a tragedy.  Reki wouldn’t look at him, so he could guess which it was, though.

“Well,” Joe said, glancing at Kaoru, who was pouring again.  “I’m glad you’re okay, now.  You’re safe here with us.  No falling in this apartment.”

Reki looked like a wounded animal as he peaked at Joe then.  “Yeah, no falling.”  An agreement, whispered, and Joe hoped Reki understood what he meant.

“Here’s the next one,” Kaoru said, passing over to Reki.

That scrunched expression returned and Joe had to hold back a laugh.  He guided Reki back into the bed and tucked him in while Kaoru left the room.

Reki watched him as Joe tucked a little too aggressively, like he was making sure the blanket would never move from Reki’s body.  “Thanks, Joe,” Reki said, his eyes hazy but Joe could make out the fond, adoring look that Reki had often given him since he’d arrived. 

“I’m your brother,” Joe assured.  “Brothers do this for each other, don’t they?”

Reki seemed to consider that before nodding.  “I guess they do.”

“Right.  And since I’m the big brother, I’ll be doing the protecting.  So, you can count on me.  Just tell me what you need.”

Reki stared.  After a few beats, he told him, “You’re even better than Mom said.”

Joe couldn’t imagine their mother saying anything nice about him.  She’d been the biggest contributor of the Joe hate club, in fact.  But Reki’s words made him wonder.  “I’m sure she told you scary stories your big, bad, older brother.”

“Yeah,” Reki said, blinking languidly, his lids growing heavy.  “But there were good ones, too.”

Joe was stunned and Reki was asleep.

In all of Joe’s life, he never expected to hear that mom spoke good about him.  It seemed absurd.  But, apparently, this was a reality for the kid in front of him, his little brother. 

Well, he would make sure to blow Reki’s expectations out of the water.

He got up from Reki’s side, closing the door gingerly behind him and sunk into the couch.  Kaoru followed him, sitting next to him despite the ample room Joe left him. 

“I’m staying the night,” Kaoru said.

Joe gave him an exacerbated look.  “You and I both know there is nowhere for both of us to sleep.”

“I’ll sleep on the—”

Joe cut him off, “Do not say you will sleep on the floor.  I will.”

Kaoru glared at him.  “If you would listen, I was going to say I’ll sleep on the roll out futon I ordered to your apartment.  It’s supposed to arrive in the next hour.”

“I can’t pay you for it.”

“I bought it for me.  It’ll be mine when I come over.  No need for you to pay,” Kaoru told him.

That made Joe smile.  “You’re insufferable.”

Kaoru rolled his eyes.  “As if you would have it any other way.”

“No,” Joe mused.  “I wouldn’t.  And, thanks, for the medicine, for taking Reki tomorrow, for the futon.”

“Kojiro, just let me help.  No thanking me from here on out.  Besides, like I said, you’re my personal chef.”  He had a look in his eye that Joe wanted to believe was more than teasing.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice coming out huskier than he meant it to.  “I’m totally all yours.”

His heart felt light and looking at Kaoru’s smile made him want to kiss him so damn bad.  And it almost felt like maybe Kaoru wanted the same.

But then the door slammed open and Reki rushed by, the bathroom door slamming shut followed by retching.  The moment was lost.

“Looks like we’ll need to give him another dose soon.”

“Hmm, right,” Joe said, standing.  “I’ll make us some dinner in the meantime.  We can get him to bed when he comes back out.”

Chapter Text

Reki woke up covered sweat for the second time in recent memory, but not because he was in pain or felt sick, but because he was hungry.  His limbs were weak and shaky as he pulled himself off the bed and he found he felt a little better.  Light was coming through the partially closed blinds, casting sunshine onto the floor.  Reki wondered what time it was.

He pried his bedroom door open and paused in the doorway.  The sun shined across the apartment, clearly midday, and there in the sparking daylight, sat Kaoru on Joe’s couch, typing on a laptop propped up on a pillow.  He scanned across the apartment and found no sign of Joe and for a second, a spike of fear lanced through of him.

“Oh, good, you’re finally awake,” Kaoru said, still typing, not looking up from his work.  His glasses slid slightly down the bridge of his nose but he made no attempt to fix it.

Reki twisted his fingers together nervously.  Kaoru had seemed nice enough when he’d met him before, but he felt a little awkward now that they were alone.  “Um, where’s Joe?”

“Kojiro had to work, so you and I are hanging out today.”  He still typed on.

Reki frowned.  “Why do you call him Kojiro?”

That had Kaoru pausing, fingers slowing to a stop, and he glanced up with a furrowed brow.  “That’s his name, isn’t it?”

“He doesn’t like Joe?”  Reki felt a little panicky at the thought of calling him wrong this whole time.

Kaoru snorted, closing the laptop.  “No, he very much prefers being called Joe.”

“Then why don’t you call him that?”

Kaoru hummed, looking as if he were trying to figure out a complicated math problem.  “I’ve always called him Kojiro.  He doesn’t mind.”

“Is it because you love each other?”  Reki asked.  He couldn’t help but ask.  To him, they looked like what he saw on TV a few times: People that fell in love and had a fairytale ending. 

The look on Kaoru’s face then looked as if he were reluctant to answer.  He instead said, “Can I assume you’re feeling better?”  Reki nodded.  “Are you hungry?”  Another nod.  “Then, why don’t you take a hot shower and I’ll heat up some soup for you.  Something simple to start, alright?”

It did sound good.  Awesome actually.  It made Reki’s eyes involuntarily tear up but he turned away with a loud, “Okay!”  He couldn’t remember the last time someone cared so much.  The thought immediately had him burning with shame, disappearing into the bathroom in a hurry.  Mom had cared.  She had.  She said so.  Every time she hit Reki, she would always apologize after and Reki knew that was the right thing to do.

Reki took his time in the shower and changed clothes in his room before coming shyly out into the living room, following the scent of chicken broth.  Kaoru had two bowls on the floor of living room, propped on books he’d found, arranging them as if they were on an actual table.  Reki sat down gingerly, eyeing Kaoru to make sure he was okay with where he was sitting.  He was relieved when Kaoru didn’t yell at him.

Kaoru did mumble to himself, “I should just buy the silly man some furniture.”

“Mom didn’t ever eat at the table.”  Reki picked up his bowl, his mouth was watering from the scent and he was suddenly so glad for a simple heated can of soup.  As soon as he brought the hot liquid to his mouth, he relaxed unconsciously, savoring the salty and familiar taste.

“Where did you eat?”

“Wherever she wanted me to.”

“And where was that?”

Reki shrugged.  His spoon clinked against the bowl.  “Sometimes at the table, sometimes with her on the couch, sometimes in my room.”

“I see.  Where did you like to eat the most?”

“My room.”  She didn’t yell at him when they ate separately and she couldn’t get mad if he ate too much or too little by her standards.

Kaoru blew on his own spoonful of soup and when Reki looked up, he was watching Reki intently, like he was dissecting him with a single glance.  Reki didn’t know how to feel about that.

They ate quietly for a while until Kaoru asked, “Where do you go to school, Reki?  Joe didn’t know where to call this morning, to call you out sick.”

“Shogaku,” Reki said, putting his empty bowl aside.

Kaoru repeated the name to himself, picking up his phone to search up its location.  His frown was instant.  “Reki,” he started, his voice calm despite the frown.  “This school is pretty far away.”

“Yeah, it was closer to Mom’s house.”

“Do you take the train?”

“No, I don’t have a train pass and I don’t think Joe does either.”

“So, you walk 65 minutes to school?”

Reki played with his empty bowl as he eyed the man.  “Sometimes if I run it’s faster!  It’s not so bad.  It’s not even really that hot out right now!”

Kaoru looked unhappy at that but Reki shrugged it away.  Walking wasn’t bad.  Mom always said it was good for him.  But Kaoru sighed, telling him, “I’m getting you both train passes, preloaded.”

Kaoru reached towards him suddenly and Reki couldn’t help his flinch, but he quickly saw what Kaoru had been reaching for: his bowl.  Reki picked it up quickly, passing it to Kaoru, trying to play it off.

He took the bowl gingerly, his eyes boring into Reki.  Reki stared back, finding himself stuck in his gaze like a web.  Mom never looked at him like this.  She mostly didn’t really look at him at all and when she did, Reki wished that she didn’t.  Kaoru looked somehow spooked, sad, and comforting all at once. 

“Reki,” he said quietly.  “Your mom hurt you, didn’t she?”

He was frozen, fear zipping up his spine, sweat springing to his palms.  “She doesn’t—”  He broke off, choking on the words before switching tense, “She didn’t—”  He couldn’t get the words out.  He could hear her whispered words to never tell anyone at school what she did to him.  But… But she was dead now.

There was a press of fingertips to his wrist and it brought Reki’s eyes back to Kaoru’s.  The man’s eyes were so kind and calm and patient.  “Hey, it’s okay.  You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to.”  He gave Reki a small smile.  “Do you want a hug?”

Reki swallowed thickly, eyes pricking with sudden tears, and he threw himself into Kaoru’s arms, upsetting the bowls between them.  It didn’t matter because he was wrapped up in warm, strong arms.  It felt safe, like no one was going to hurt him ever, and he sobbed into the soft fabric that he curled his fingers into like a lifeline. 

“I’ve got you,” was Kaoru’s murmur into his hair.

They stayed like that with Kaoru’s fingers running down his back, holding him like he was something special, something to be protected.  He let Reki cry it out until he felt embarrassed by the wetness that dripped down his neck and he tucked his head further into Kaoru’s chest, if only to delay the fall out of his reaction.

“Mom hated me,” Reki confessed after a beat.  He tried to uncurl his fingers from Kaoru’s clothes, but they ached with tension.  He took a deep breath and forced himself backwards, partially in Kaoru’s lap, but he had to look, to see if Kaoru would look at him like Mom did.

His expression was unchanged from before but Reki only read concern there.  Kaoru’s fingers slipped from his back and he peeled Reki’s fingers off his clothes, gathered them in his much larger hands, and leaned down.  “Well, I don’t hate you.  Neither does Joe.  In fact, I would say we both like you quite a lot.”

“Really?”  He didn’t believe it for a single second, but the words were flowery and nice.  It ran a shiver down his spine.

“Really,” Kaoru said.

Reki chewed his lip, trying to search the man’s face for lies but he couldn’t get past the kind look and the grip on his fingers.  “You’re… really nice.”

“Thank you,” Kaoru said, smile breaking back out again with a small fond laugh.

“Yeah.  You should really marry Joe.”

Kaoru’s face screwed up in shocked amusement.  “Really?  Why?”

“Because then you’d be my brother, too,” Reki told him. 

Kaoru’s expression turned soft and warm.  “Hmm… maybe I’ll work on it, how about that?”

“You will?  For real?”

“Only if you don’t tell Joe, okay?”

“I won’t tell anyone!” Reki exclaimed, getting excited.  “Can I be in the wedding?”

“Of course,” Kaoru agreed, smile growing, and he brushed at Reki’s still-damp hair.  “You’re getting lively, aren’t you?  Finally feeling better, huh?”

Reki had forgotten all about being sick and he looked down at the bowls that had toppled over in his desperation for a hug.  “Oh, sorry!  I’ll clean it up,” he told him anxiously, taking his hands away and starting to gather up the dishes.  He needed to find where Joe kept the cleaner and he—

Kaoru took the dishes from his hands.  “I’ll take care of these, okay?  Why don’t you strip your bed so we can wash the sheets?”

“Oh, okay,” Reki said, standing with him, looking up at the man as he moved away.  There it was again; Kaoru was nice.

He got to work taking the bedding off his bed and when he was done, he was tired again, his body still weak with sickness.  Kaoru must’ve seen it on his face because he pressed a hand into his hair and guided him towards the bedroom door.  “Go lie down on the couch, huh?  I’ll do the rest.”

He did what he was told and didn’t worry about consequences or anything.  Reki used Joe’s blanket to snuggle into and he found himself drifting off.

There were a few times he woke.  The first, he cracked an eye open to find Kaoru propped up against the couch on the floor, typing away on his laptop.  The clacking was comforting and Reki was lulled back into sleep once again.  The second was when he heard Joe’s voice.

“My day was alright,” Joe was answering Kaoru in a hushed tone, clearly not trying to wake Reki.

Reki kept his eyes shut, feigning sleep.  He was too comfortable to interrupt them.

“But Reki’s okay?” Joe asked.

“Much better,” Kaoru told him, his voice just as quiet.  “He ate lunch with me.  He even told me he wanted me to be his brother, too.”

“He did?  That’s so cute, Kaoru.”

“Don’t give me that look.”

“I mean it,” Joe said, his voice amused.  “Kaoru, I gotta tell ya, work was rough.  All I could think about was the kid.  Is this what being a parent is like?”

“Probably,” Kaoru said.  “And being a big brother, too.”

There was shuffling and Reki felt the couch move as someone leaned into it.  He squinted one eye open, catching a glimpse of the back of Kaoru and Joe’s heads, bent in towards each other while they sat like guards in front of Reki. 

Kaoru told him, “Reki told me your mom hated him.”

Joe huffed dismissively.  “Then she hated both of us.  I don’t know why she even bothered.”  That felt wrong to Reki.  Sure, Mom sometimes ranted about Joe and talked badly about him, but he never got the sense that she hated him.  Reki was the one she was always disappointed in.

Joe switched the topic, telling Kaoru, “Do you want to hear what happened on the 2^nd day of my adventures at the office?”

Kaoru sounded absolutely fond as he agreed, “There’s nothing I would like to hear more.”

Reki fell back asleep with murmured words about spreadsheets and office gossip.

When he woke again, he was being carried in strong arms.  He didn’t remember a time before that he’d been carried like this…  He was placed into the familiarity of his bed.  His bedsheets smelled fresh and were still slightly warm.  “You sure we shouldn’t wake him for dinner?” Joe said, tucking the thick blanket over Reki.  The floor creaked as Joe moved away. 

“You already left him water and crackers by his bed.  He’ll be okay.  If he needs us, we’ll be right out here,” Kaoru returned, his voice fading as the door clicked shut.

Reki opened his eyes.  The room was dark but there was still some light peaking through the drawn blinds.  On the floor by his bed was the mentioned tall glass of water and a package of crackers.  Reki warmed at the sight, choosing to snuggle deeper into his blankets.  Distantly, Reki could hear the murmur of the others. 

He couldn’t describe the feeling in that moment… it just felt… well, warm.

Chapter Text

Joe looked through paperwork while Kaoru leaned into his shoulder, pushing his laptop closer.  “This school looks better,” Kaoru said, pointing to the image of the perfectly acceptable but unremarkable building at the top banner of the page.

Joe scrunched his brows at it, letting Kaoru put the laptop finally in his hands.  “Yeah, but do you think Reki will really be okay with this?”

Kaoru’s eyes softened and Joe’s stomach swooped at the soft look there.  “You care a lot about his opinion.”

“Yeah, well so do you,” Joe replied defensively.  Why was that even an accusation?

“Indeed, I do, but I think it’s cute how much you worry.”

Cute? Cute!  Joe felt himself redden and hoped it wasn’t showing too bad.  It was just a one-off comment.  It meant nothing surely… right?

Kaoru went on, “Look, it’s a good school, it’s close to your apartment and mine, so no matter where he is, he will have an easy walk.  And I can even walk him if you are busy in the morning or if he stays with me sometimes.  It’s on the way to the train station between us.”

He loved him.  Dear god, Joe loved his best friend.  What did he ever do to deserve such an amazing person?  (What did he need to do to deserve his love?)

Kaoru’s golden eyes flicked upwards to meet his.  “Earth to Kojiro.”

Joe jolted, blinking rapidly.  “Yeah, that sounds okay.  It does, it really does, Kaoru.”  He fidgeted and gave the computer back to his friend.  “I just worry… he’s comfortable at his school.  Will he be okay?”

“Well, why don’t we ask him?”  Kaoru nodded to Reki’s door to their left. 

The kid was still sleeping.  It was luckily Saturday and there was no reason to wake the kid early, so they let him sleep in.  He needed it after getting over his illness.  They’d kept him home yesterday as well just in case, with Kaoru staying with him again.  Reki had mostly slept that day.

“Right, right,” Joe nodded, taking in a deep breath.  “When he’s up.”  Serious conversations… Joe wasn’t used to having them.  He was kind of an avoider type, which he would swear he’d inherited from his mother.  She never discussed feelings or anything of substance with him, so he had a hard time expressing himself. 

But he would do it for Reki.  He would not perpetuate the cycle.  Joe wanted to be the best brother-guardian he could be and he wasn’t going to let words get in the way of his goal.

Of course, that’s the moment that Reki made his appearance, opening his door and dragging himself out of bed sleepily.  He looked like a little zombie and Joe grinned while Kaoru snorted next to him. Something they’d learned over these few days is that Reki was definitely not a morning person.  Joe would guess that he would probably sleep exclusively during the day if he could.  Honestly, Joe could relate, but adulthood had slightly beaten the impulse out of him.

“Morning, Reki!” he called to the kid cheerfully.

Reki groaned, glaring at him between rubbing his eyes.  He closed himself into the bathroom without another word.

Joe laughed in surprise, turning to Kaoru.  “Did you see that? He gave me the evil eye!”

Kaoru looked just as amused.  “It’s good to know he still has spunk.”

He knew exactly what Kaoru meant.  Based on everything they’ve learned about Reki over the last few days, and what his home life had been like with their mother, it was a miracle that Reki still felt comfortable enough to express himself around them.  Well, at least some times.  Reki seemed to go through cycles of cautiousness often. 

They quietly went back to their other conversations until the kid exited the bathroom again.  This time, Reki looked way more alert; his hair was freshly washed and his cheeks had color from the shower heat.  He’d put his pajamas back on to leave the bathroom and the two followed him with their eyes, watching him slip back into his room to change.

Kaoru nudged him with his elbow.  “Ready?”

Joe sighed.  “It shouldn’t be hard, right?”

“No,” Kaoru said, “but you just need to ready for any reaction he might have.”

“I mean, I fielded Mom’s temper tantrums. I think I can handle Reki.”  But could he?  He and Mom only ever yelled at each other.  He and Kaoru usually had calm conversations, even if a little heated at times.  He didn’t know much else.

Reki emerged from his room, wearing a fresh sweatshirt and Joe immediately jolted, his joints stiffening up involuntarily.  “Reki!”

The poor kid immediately looked on high alert from both of them looking at him.  He put his hands into his sweatshirt pocket and turned towards them fully, his expression unsettled.  “Hi?” he said uncertainly.

Joe’s heart tugged at his brother’s little voice.  He couldn’t wait for the day that Reki didn’t expect the worst when talking to them.  “Come over here for a second.”  He turned and plucked Kaoru’s laptop from him.

Reki walked over stiffly and sat down next to him when Joe patted the spot there.  “Am I in trouble?” Reki asked, his voice quiet.

“No, no,” Joe said immediately.  Joe mentally berated himself for not going about this another gentler way, but it was already too late.  “Kaoru and I are just wondering if you would be okay if we enroll you in a new school a little closer to home.”

“This home?”

Joe smiled.  “Yeah, this home.”

Reki’s eyes went to him to the school on the screen before he nodded.  “Okay.”

“Okay?”  Joe couldn’t help but frown.  He’d expected a little bit of push back, but this felt a little too easy.

Reki nodded slowly, watching him closely. 

It clicked then.  Reki probably didn’t think he was allowed to have an opinion.  “It’s fine if you don’t want to, kid.  I want to know what you actually think.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“That’s not what I mean.  Are you actually okay with changing schools?”

Reki looked blankly back.  It looked like he was searching for a new answer but was at a loss.

Joe handed the computer back to Kaoru and turned more towards his brother, pulling his legs into a crisscross on the floor.  “Think about it this way: We are just trying to make good choices for you but we also want to make sure you will be okay.  This school is closer; close enough for me to walk you on the way to work.  Kaoru made sure it had a good program… and I know you would absolutely make more friends, being a bright cool kid like you are.”

Something about what he said made Reki physically relax.  He even looked a little curious, glancing at the image on Kaoru’s computer and back.  “It’s close?”

Kaoru was the one to chime in, “Five minutes.  Sometimes you and I will walk together too.”

Reki’s face brightened.  “Okay.”

“Okay?” Joe repeated.  He felt way better about this ‘okay.’

Kaoru closed his laptop.  “I have an idea.  Why don’t we go visit it?  It’s Saturday, no one’s there.  We could go take a trip to it, see how close it is and see if it looks as nice as it does online.  Then I can take Reki home while you go to that meeting with the attorney.”

Joe nodded, having almost forgotten about his meeting today.  They were able to sell the house pretty quickly to an auction this week, so today he would find out how much Reki was getting in his trust, available when he’s 18, and how much Joe would inherit.  With whatever he got, he would go to the bank to get the rest of what he needed to start his business.    It was all in motion.

“That sounds perfect,” Joe said, unfolding himself to stand.  “I should get ready if we want to get going.”

Reki walked ahead of them, stopping at each intersection to ask them where to go next.  Joe grinned each time he did it.  It was so funny to him because if Reki would just walk with them and not go ahead, he wouldn’t need to ask.

The fifth time he did it, he glanced at Kaoru to see if he thought it was as funny as him, but he found Kaoru already looking at him.  His heart stuttered, recognizing the fond look that Kaoru was looking at him with more and more these days.  Compelled to say anything at all, he told Kaoru, “He’s an adorable kid.”

“Adorable, indeed,” Kaoru said.  His tone inferred that Kaoru knew something Joe didn’t know, but he didn’t have time to work it out.

“Is that it?” Reki called out, pointing up ahead. 

The building looked just like the picture so Joe nodded, following his brother towards the gate.  It really did look nice.  The building was a warm cream color, taking up half the block.  The gate was firmly shut for the weekend but he leaned against the bars with Reki to get a glimpse of the well-manicured lawn and the sleek playground set around the corner.  To their left were the bike racks, tucked under a protective overhang. 

“This looks really nice,” Joe concluded, glancing at Kaoru.  He forgot to ask about price.  This place had to have decent tuitions, not to mention he would need to get Reki a new uniform probably. 

“Don’t worry about it now,” Kaoru said, understanding his telepathic look.  This was also Kaoru speak for: I will pay for it.

Great, Kaoru basically tricked him into it!  He couldn’t back out now, especially when he glanced down to his little brother, who gripped the gate bars with excitement. 

“It looks so cool!” Reki exclaimed.

“It does,” Joe agreed, even while he glared in Kaoru’s direction.

Kaoru only rolled his eyes in response.  “And it will be fun for us to walk with you, right?”

“I want to go here!” Reki said, growing more excited.

Wow, Kaoru was a master manipulator.  Joe glanced down at Reki and asked weakly, “You won’t miss your old friends?”

“I only had one friend at school,” Reki said with a shrug.  “I can make way more friends here,” Reki went on.

Clearly, he wasn’t that attached to that old friend...

“Great,” Kaoru said with a smile.  “I will set up the enrollment and see if we can get in yet next week.  Joe, you have a meeting to get to, don’t you?”

“Oh, you’re evil,” Joe told Kaoru, not even really mad.  He especially couldn’t when Kaoru gave him that amused look.

“What can I say?” was his returned laugh.  Kaoru turned to Reki and asked him, “How about instead of going home, you go with me to the store?”

Joe sighed.  “Kaoru.”  He just knew that Kaoru was going to buy Reki a ton of stuff.  Joe should be doing that for his brother.  He was his guardian now.  He couldn’t let Kaoru do that on top of paying for Reki’s school and it made him feel ill just thinking about it; it almost felt like taking advantage of Kaoru.

“Don’t worry, Kojiro,” Kaoru told him.  “We’re just browsing.  We’ll wait for you for the actual shopping.”

Even though Kaoru was still implying that he would buy Reki things when Joe rejoined him, he felt better.  He wanted to be there when they bought Reki new clothes or a dresser or a bike or…

Yeah, he got excited just thinking about it.  He wanted to buy Reki all of the things he didn’t have as a kid.  He wanted Reki to grow up with more than he ever did.

If that meant relying on Kaoru again, then he would.  It just meant he would work even harder at building his business, so he could take care of Kaoru someday.  Swallowing his pride now, would only mean he could make it up to his friend in the long run.

Joe let out a breath, letting his objections die on his tongue, and instead nodded at Kaoru, looking him in the eyes.  “Okay, Kaoru.”

Kaoru beamed at the acceptance he read there.  Joe could practically hear Kaoru’s finally.  

Chapter Text

Joe looked over the numbers, wilting as he realized how little it was.  The lawyer saw his face and grimaced, explaining, “Your mother took out a second mortgage on the house, you see.  So, between the remaining debt and what goes to Reki, this is all we can give you.”  The amount he was looking at was hardly enough for two months’ rent.

“How much is Reki getting?”

“Same as you.”

Joe nodded.  It made sense but suddenly Joe could see the long road ahead of him.  How would he pay for Reki to go to a good college?  He could, of course, go to a public university, but he wanted to make sure Reki had options like he did.  It was a lot to think about, 10 years out, but he already had debt of his own, not to mention the business loan he was going to take out.  “Give the rest to Reki,” Joe said, feeling a little more than breathless.

The lawyer paused, looking at him curiously.  “Really?”

“Yeah,” Joe said, trying to stay calm.  “This trust account, will it grow interest?  How much do you think I’ll need to put in to make sure he can pay for a good university?”

The lawyer smiled at him.  “You are a good guardian to Reki.”

“Am I?” Joe asked numbly because he couldn’t think of all the ways he could screw things up for Reki.  He didn’t want to be Mom.  He couldn’t.  He refused to make things harder for Reki.

The lawyer leafed through a different stack of paperwork.  “Let’s talk about your options.”

Joe had left the lawyer to the bank and now he walked in the direction of the mall with a small stack of paperwork in a folder.  He had his work cut out for him now.  He decided to put a small amount away a month into Reki’s trust account, to help build it for the kid.  His loan would also cost him a small fortune per month, but if he could contact the building he’d scoped out to set up his business, he could get his business started up within just a few weeks.

He could do this.

A flicker of self-doubt gnawed at his chest but he stamped it down with a grit of his teeth.  He was a well-trained Italian chef, for god’s sake.  He’d studied under the best.  His food would practically advertise itself, surely.

He breathed deeply, forcing himself to calm.  If he kept worrying, he would walk himself into an early grave.  Instead, he focused on cheering up before he saw Kaoru and Reki especially since this would be an exciting day for Reki.  New furniture and clothes?  He couldn’t wait to see the kid’s face.

There had to be a way he could pay Kaoru back after all of this.  Kaoru was using his hard-earned money to pay for a kid he never asked for, even though he kept insisting it was fine.

He entered the mall, heading for the meeting point that he and Kaoru had texted about, and let his shoulders unwind from the built-up tension.  He was forcing it, but when he saw his best friend leaning against a wall, talking to his brother, bent slightly forward to listen to him, Joe felt instantly better. 

“There you two are!” Joe called to them, catching their gazes.  They both smiled instantly at seeing him.

His heart stuttered.  Shit, was this what actual true happiness felt like?

“Kojiro,” Kaoru greeted warmly.

Joe opened his mouth to ask what they got up to, but Reki launched into an explanation, tugging lightly at Joe’s clothes.  “We went to a movie!” Reki cried.  “I’ve never been to the theater before!”

“Never?” Joe echoed, glancing at Kaoru to exchange a glance.  Mom never took him to one either, but he had gone a ton with Kaoru in high school.  “What did you see?”

“It was about robots and—”  Reki launched into a long-winded play-by-play of the movie, getting more and more excited as he told him from beginning to end.

They started to walk as Reki continued.  When he finished, Kaoru added, “And we had candy, didn’t we?”

“Yes, candy!” Reki exclaimed and went on to tell Joe about what they tried.

“We’ll have to go to another, all three of us,” Joe mused when he finished.  When was the last time he’d gone?

“Yeah, we have to.  It was so fun!” Reki told him.

Kaoru slowed by the restaurants then.  “Why don’t we get lunch?”

Joe faltered, mentally calculating what he could afford, and suddenly his mood was souring.  He was flat broke, other than what he was putting into his business and Reki’s account.

Kaoru caught his eye, his expression gentle.  “My treat.”

Joe sighed, partially from relief, partially from exasperation.  “Kaoru,” he began.

“What are we going to eat?” Reki asked, his expression more alive than ever.  Joe couldn’t deny his brother food.

“Whatever Kojiro picks,” Kaoru decided for them, glancing at him again.  Check mate.

Joe shook his head at Kaoru before saying, “I guess I could go for some ramen.”

“I know just the place,” Kaoru said and gestured for them to follow.

Reki was in the bathroom, so Kaoru pounced on him then, leaning over the table and pushing plates aside to clear the space between them.  “How’d it go?”

“Got the loan,” Joe said, offering him a half smile. 

“And the inheritance?”

“Small,” Joe admitted.  “Almost too little to even matter.”  He didn’t mention that he’d given his up to Reki because it didn’t matter; he’d be in debt either way.

Kaoru reached across the table to squeeze his forearm.  “Whatever you need, Kojiro, just tell me.”

“I can’t—”

“I keep telling you to rely on me but what’s it going to take for you to actually do it?”

Joe didn’t know how to answer that.  He already felt like he relied on Kaoru more than anyone should, especially a best friend.  “Kaoru,” he said, his voice strangled with emotion. 

Kaoru’s grip strengthened as he looked directly into his eyes.  “Kojiro,” he said back, his voice firm.  The expression he wore was just as solemn, drawing Joe in with how intensely he watched him.

“What are you getting out of this?”  He laughed a little to himself.  “You gonna be my sugar daddy, Kaoru?”

Kaoru let go of him, giving him an eye roll.  “I’m playing the long game.”

“For what?” Joe asked.

But then Reki was back, sliding into his chair next to Joe.  “What are you guys talking about?”

“Your brother is opening his restaurant soon.”

Reki looked up at him, his eyes all alight with admiration and excitement.  “The Italian one?”

Joe chuckled.  “That’s the one, kid.”

“Reki and I will help set it up,” Kaoru said, glancing down at Reki.  “Won’t we?”

His brother leaned forward on the table, looking like he could jump out of his skin with excitement.  “I want to help!”

Joe ruffled the kid’s hair.  “Thanks, I appreciate it.  It’s gonna be a lot of work.”  He glanced back at Kaoru to gage his reaction.

Kaoru only nodded seriously.  “That is expected.”

Expected?  Playing the long game?  What the hell was Kaoru up to?

“What are you going to call it?” Reki asked.  “What about Pizza Place!”

Joe couldn’t help but bark a laugh at that, reaching over a second time to bat at Reki’s hair.  Sometimes Reki could be adorable and hilarious at the same time.  “Nah, I think that’s a little generic for me,” he told him while Reki ducked away from his fingers.

Across from them, Kaoru leaned on hand, watching them with a small smile.

Joe withdrew his hand and leaned back into his chair, contemplating. “I’m partial to ‘Sia La Luce’.  It means, ‘Let there be light.’  I want the restaurant to bring people joy so I thought maybe that would be a pretty good name…” he trailed off.  “Maybe it’s a little cheesy.”

“Cheesy like pizza!  Will you have pizza?”

“Maybe for you, kid,” Joe said warmly.  “But no, I’ll have other things on the menu.  A more classy joint is what I’m going for.”

“I like it, Kojiro,” Kaoru said.

“Do you?” he asked, trying to read the other’s man expression for any deception.  Kaoru used to sometimes make fun of his wild ideas back in high school, but in the last few years or so, he seemed to take him seriously.  He wondered what changed.

“Yeah, it suits you,” Kaoru said. 

Reki nodded along enthusiastically.  “Yeah!  Mom always said you were brighter than me!”

That had Joe turning, smile fading, as he looked at his younger brother.  There it was again, the subtle digs against himself, said so innocently and earnestly.  “You’re brighter than all of us,” Joe told him, pulling the kid close and into his side, hugging him there.

For a heartbeat, he imagined himself at Reki’s age, listening to Mom spew insults and other garbage at him day after day, ruining his self confidence at that age.  He hugged Reki a little tighter, almost like he was comforting a younger version of himself, begging him silently to heal, to not hold on to the things she said. 

Reki stiffened under his arm, his expression turning complicated and a little wobbly.  Joe knew under the happy and carefree surface that Reki put forward, he was slowly crumbling at the seams.  He had to be, because Joe had been for years under Mom’s roof, too.  Reki forced a small snort.  “You’re funny.”

Joe looked to Kaoru for help.

Kaoru caught his gaze, his expression pained, but he swallowed it back, letting it slip away before Reki could see it, too.  “Reki, you’re our favorite person.  Did you know that?”

Reki glared at Kaoru.  “That’s not true.  Joe is your favorite.”

Joe grinned.  “Kaoru, am I your favorite person?”

Kaoru scoffed.  “Certainly not.  It’s definitely Reki.”

“Good, mine is Reki, too.”

“Yours is Kaoru, too!  You can’t both lie.”

“What if you’re our favorite in another way?”

Reki sat a little straighter under Joe’s arm, his curiosity peaked.  “Like what?”

“Well,” Joe said, “you’re my brother, so you are now my favorite family member and the coolest kid I know.  Kaoru and I are best friends, so that’s just a little different.”

Kaoru chimed in, “I don’t have any siblings or any family left, so you’re like my brother, too.”

Reki grinned at that.  “So, we love each other because we’re a family now!”

“Yeah,” Joe agreed softly.  “Exactly.”  His eyes flicked up to accidentally meet Kaoru’s and they both looked away quickly.

Huh.

They went shopping after and Kaoru really wasn’t holding back, even when Joe protested when Reki wasn’t looking.  Joe trailed after Kaoru, arms full with stacks of items that Kaoru kept piling into them and Reki was ahead of them, comparing two toys to decide which to take.  Kaoru was letting him get one more and it was a serious decision for him.

“We should have gotten a cart,” Kaoru said distractedly, turning to drape a blanket he picked out for Reki on top of Joe’s arms.

“I think we’ve got more than enough.”  They’d already picked out the dresser for Reki’s room, to be delivered later in the week, along with a table and chairs for the edge of the kitchen and living room.  Joe tried to protest that one, because it wasn’t for Reki, but Kaoru just rolled his eyes and told him it was for Reki to eat breakfast at and not on the floor.  If Joe didn’t stop him, Kaoru would probably furnish his whole apartment. 

Kaoru hummed, barely acknowledging Joe’s comment, turning away to look at something else for Reki.  “I think I’ll get him a few toys for my place, too, so he won’t get bored when he’s over.”

“He probably wouldn’t even tell you if he was,” Joe said, knowing already how Reki never stated his needs.  “Or he would just clean for you.”

Kaoru had been looking between two different toys and paused at his words.  “You’re right, I’ll get both.  Joe, you might need to get us a cart,” he said, placing the two stuffed animals on top of the pile, which was threatening to drop out of Joe’s arms.

“Don’t you think we have enough?  And even if he does stay at your place, he can take some things with him!”

Kaoru’s lips quirked up.  “We sound like divorced parents, arguing about our joint custody.”

“That’s ridiculous.  Who would divorce you?” Joe scoffed.

He hadn’t meant to say the words aloud but Kaoru looked back at him in surprise and then his smile grew.  “Are you calling me a catch, Kojiro?”

“Uh,” he said, lost for words.  “Maybe I should get that cart.”  He wondered if he were being way too obvious now.  Should he continue to play it off?  Did Kaoru still think it was a joke?

Kaoru called over to Reki, “Reki, get both!  Give them to Joe to carry.”

“Hey!” Joe protested.

“Are you sure?” Reki asked, trailing over to them, wide-eyed.  The kid had grown more speechless the more Kaoru bought for him.  Overwhelmed, Joe supposed.

“Yes, Joe is going to get us a cart, aren’t you?”  Kaoru looked at him again.

“Right, I was doing that," he said, turning on his heel before he could spout any wilder things.

They ended up filling the cart that day and Joe found himself no longer protesting.  He had to trust that Kaoru knew what he was doing.  Besides, he hadn’t bought anything for Joe as he promised.

Reki deserved nice things, especially since they were, according to Reki, a little family now.  And later, as he watched Kaoru help Reki unload the items in his room, putting posters on the blank dingy walls, Joe wanted nothing more for the three of them to be just that.

Chapter Text

A few days later found a big day for both Joe and Reki.  Today, Reki would attend his new school and Joe would get the keys to his restaurant a few streets down.

Joe crooked his phone between his ear and shoulder as he ran a brush through Reki’s unruly hair.  “It won’t stay down!” Reki cried, leaning over the sink to stare at himself angrily in the mirror.  He’d asked Joe to try to fix it.

“I like your hair the way it is,” Joe told him, putting the brush aside and adjusted the phone against his ear.

“Do you need me to come over?” Kaoru asked from the phone.

“I got this,” Joe said, deciding to muss Reki’s hair, earning an indignant cry. “You look fine, Reki!  I promise.”  Even more so since the bruises had fully faded; the evidence of Mom’s abuse was gone now.  Reki hadn’t brought it up but Joe wondered if he ever thought about it, lingered on it.

“Seriously, I can come by,” Kaoru told him.

Joe put him on speaker, setting it on the edge of the counter in favor of the brush and trying again to tame Reki’s hair.  “Kaoru, I know you are meeting with important clients all day and you are taking them to dinner.  Worry about yourself.”

“Well, that’s true but—”

“When I open my restaurant, you can bring them there and then you won’t be apart from us so long, how about that?” Joe interrupted, running his hands through Reki’s soft hair.  It just stuck back up again.  “Sorry, kid.  I think it’s just going to stay like that.”

“I hate my hair,” Reki said.  He looked sad and a little too serious for Joe’s liking. 

“I happen to like your hair,” Kaoru’s voice echoed across the bathroom. 

“Mom didn’t like it.”

“Well, screw what she thought,” Joe huffed.  He chucked the brush into the sink, knowing it wasn’t going to help at all.  “Look,” he said, bending down so he was more level with Reki, “You look awesome like always.  But if you want, maybe we could pick up something for it.  Maybe a headband or something.  That might help it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, let’s hustle and we can stop on the way!” Joe said, ruffling Reki’s hair one more time, just to see Reki’s upset face again.  He was pretty cute when he pretended to be mad.

“I’ll get my stuff,” Reki told him, ducking away from Joe and escaping the bathroom.

“Well, I better let you get to your busy day,” Kaoru said.  “Sure you don’t need my help?”

Joe picked up the cell and took it off speaker, pressing it to his ear again. “I’m sure, Kaoru.  Don’t you worry.  You can help me walk Reki to school tomorrow if you are so worried.”

“I’m taking it off, actually, so I can help you with the restaurant.  It’ll be relaxing after dealing with these clients all day.  They can get needy.”

“Aw, Kaoru, you spoil me.”

“Let’s go, Joe!” Reki cried, coming back to the door with his backpack on and ready.

“That’s my cue.”

“I’ll call you tonight, Joe,” Kaoru said.  They said their goodbyes and Joe tried not to dwell on the domesticity of it all.

Joe knew just the place to stop on the way to Reki’s school: Dope Sketch.  It was the only place he knew that was on the route and open, and he definitely knew that they sold headbands.   It had been forever since he skated.  Years, probably.  He didn’t do it in Italy, too busy with his goals.

“In here,” Joe said, pushing in the door with a chime.  “We’ll need to pick something out quick.”

“I’ll be fast,” Reki promised, following him into the small shop.  Joe spotted the headbands and went to it, turning back to his brother as he picked a random one up.  Reki was staring around the shop in awe.  “Where are we?”

“It’s a skate shop,” Joe told him.  “Here, let’s see if this fits your tiny head.”

“I’m not tiny,” Reki protested, putting it on.  It was too big.

The shop owner appeared then.  “I have some kid sizes over here.”  The man seemed to stare as Joe followed his direction, picking up a yellow headband and passing it to Reki.  “Joe, is that you?”

Joe looked up, finally looking at the man.  “Oka!” Joe said with a grin.  “Man, you haven’t aged a day!”

“And you’ve grown up!” Oka returned, just as delighted.  “And you have a kid?”

Joe laughed.  “This is my kid brother.”

“Ah,” Oka said.  “Are you going to pass along your skate knowledge to your brother?”

“You can skate?  You are so cool, Joe!” Reki exclaimed.  Joe turned back to his brother and found the yellow headband fit him perfectly.   He was adorable with it, actually.  How had his mom ever hurt this kid?

“Well, you look cool!  Look at that headband!”  Joe told him.

Reki turned to look in the mirror, adjusting the band at his forehead.  Joe didn’t mention that his hair looked the same either way, he just looked extra cute this way.  “I do look cool,” Reki said, staring at himself.

Joe turned to lean against the counter at Oka.  “How much do I owe you for that one?”

“Let’s say on the house,” Oka said, smiling at the way Reki excitedly turned back and forth in front of the mirror.  “A favor for one of my oldest customers.  In exchange, when you teach the kiddo to skate, you bring him here for his first board.”

“Deal,” Joe said.  “Ready to go, Reki?”

At the front of the school, Joe stooped down by Reki at the entrance.  There were kids filtering in slowly, paying no mind to Joe and Reki, since there were other parents dropping off their kids, so Joe took advantage by tugging on Reki’s sweatshirt strings affectionately.  “You’ll do great in there, kid.  You’re going to make cool friends and your teacher will be so nice.”  Joe had already spoken with Reki’s new teacher on the phone and explained the situation to her, so she could handle appropriately.

“You’ve got your lunch?” Joe asked him, looking up into the kid’s eyes to make sure he remained honest with Joe.

“Yep.”

“Got all of your supplies I put out for you?  Put it in your backpack?”

“Yeah, I got it all.”  Reki beamed at him, clearly proud and excited.  “You’re going to pick me up after school?”

“You got it, kid.  I’ll be waiting right here by this tree, okay?”

“Okay!  I’ll see you later, Joe!”  Reki waved and ran off, joining the hoard of children entering the school.  He was a brave kid, Joe had to give him that.

Joe waited by the entrance until Reki was out of sight, around the corner.  He stood for another beat longer, feeling weird, trying to put a name to the feeling.  His brother hadn’t been with him for long, but he realized how attached he felt already.  He could hardly picture life before.

Eventually he sighed, taking out his keys for his new restaurant venue, and left the school, making the short walk to it.  It was nothing especially fancy, by any means, but with a bit of work he could have people tripping over their selves to try to get a reservation.

He unlocked the front door but was stopped when the door jammed.  He thumped his body against it to shove it open and when he closed it, the window pane cracked.  Staring at it, he huffed in immediate frustration, scraping a hand over his face.  Joe was already tired thinking about all of the things he would need to clean and repair.

“Cleaning first,” he said to himself, ignoring the front door to unload the supplies that he’d dropped off earlier.  He got to work quickly after.  This place wasn’t in any special spot in town or in the main foot traffic, so it had stood empty for the last two years, or so he was told.  Based on the amount of dust, he wondered if it was longer.

Within the first hour, he hardly made a dent on the dusting and scrubbing.  The kitchen needed the most work; it was slimy and sticky from the deep frying someone had done, and it was almost impossible to get the grime out. 

In the next hour after that, he made a list of all of the items he’d have to replace or repair: burned out lightbulbs, handles that were partially busted, the toilet that didn’t work.  After that he fired up the oven, trying to see how well it worked.

The inside wasn’t clean and something inside quickly caught fire, filling the room with smoke.  Joe had to rush to turn it off, opening the windows and front door to air the place out.  “Guess the fire alarms don’t work,” he muttered to himself, waving a towel through the smoke to clear it out.  The whole ordeal was giving him a headache.

It was turning out that this wouldn’t be a fast job and he was starting to get a little embarrassed thinking about bringing Kaoru to this place.  This was all he had to work with and he worried what Kaoru would think of it.

That thought had him scrubbing harder, growling at the dirt he got under his nails as he worked.  He didn’t care how dirty he got, as long as this place shined after.

He hoped distantly that Reki was having a better day than him.

Reki nervously fidgeted in his new desk near the back of the room, looking around at his classmates.  He’d given a vague and general intro and then his teacher had sent him to his seat to get started on the packet everyone was working on.  English work, Reki’s least favorite.  He sucked at it.  

His classmates were leaning together working in groups, just as his teacher had encouraged, pushing desks together to fill it in.  “Reki, join our group,” a girl encouraged, waving him into the empty space.  He pushed his desk over without hesitation, just happy to be included.

“Are you good at English, Reki?” another girl in the group asked.

“No,” Reki told her.  “I still don’t know much.  We didn’t do a lot with it in my last school.”

The boy in the group tilted his head at him.  “Why’d you move schools anyway?  Get kicked out?”

Reki lit up, happy for the change in subject.  “No, I just moved in with my brother!”

“What happened to your parents?”

That had Reki’s smile slipping a little but he didn’t want to not answer and disappoint his new classmates.  “Umm, I never really knew my dad and my mom… she died.”

“Oh no,” one of the girls gasped.

“How’d she die?” the boy asked, leaning in.

The teacher seemed to appear at that moment, tapping her long nails against the desks.  “I don’t hear English over here.”

Reki snapped up his packet and ran his eyes over the foreign words, realizing he only knew two out of the ten on the vocab sheet.  

“So what happened?” the boy asked again, his voice lowered once the teacher was on to the next table.

“I don’t like to talk about it,” Reki said.  But then he could see it in a flash: Mom trembling, standing over the sink, her hand full of pills.  Some fell into the basin with little clinks as she threw them back into her mouth.  She clutched a beer bottle in the other hand.  She screamed at Reki when she saw him in the bathroom door, eyes smeared with with makeup and tears and she swung at him, pushing him into the wall and—

“Mrs. Taneka, Reki’s freaking out!”

Reki blinked away the vision, hearing his own rapid breathing over the rushing heart beat to his head.  The woman was there in an instant, bending down to press a comforting hand to Reki’s shoulder.  “Breathe, Reki.”

“I’m okay,” Reki gasped out, horrified.  This was his first day at school.  What was happening to him?  Why did he have to think about her now, at school?  He hadn’t thought of that day since it happened.  “I’m okay,” he said again, his breathing evening and he could see a little more clearly.

To his left he heard that boy mutter, “Reki’s weird.”

It had Reki freezing up.  He’d never been good at making friends, but he’d never been called weird before.  It sounded so much like something Mom would say to him.

The teacher snapped at the other kid, hushing him, and then turned back to Reki, her brows furrowed.  “Feeling better, Reki?”

“I’m fine.  Way better.”

“Would you like me to call your parent—” she quickly corrected herself, “Brother?”

Reki shook his head, pressing his fingers to the headband he wore.  He was fine.  He’d make friends and do well in school just like Joe said.  “No, I’m okay, I promise.”

She seemed satisfied with that, nodding.  “Please let me know if you need a break, okay?”

“Okay,” Reki uttered.  He glanced back at the kids in his little group and they were all staring at him.

She left after instructing the kids to get back to work.   The two girls in the group were nice, going back to the packet, discussing the words, but the other boy leaned towards Reki.  His look was teasing but Reki froze when he asked, “Did you kill her, Reki?” 

“No,” Reki rushed to say, glaring, enraged.  He tried to stop her.

“Geez, I was just joking.”

“You don’t joke about that,” one of the other girls said.

“Okay, I won’t say anything else.  Geez.”

Their conversation drifted back into English words, but Reki only wrote when they did, copying the girl next to him. 

He didn’t kill his mom.  He knew that much.  But he wondered if she would have stayed if she liked him more?

Chapter Text

A few days went by.  Joe was swept up in the motions of preparing his business, taking Reki to school, and making dinner at home with little time to do much else.  His restaurant was clean, finally, but he still had a lot of repairs to do and he was currently frowning over Kaoru’s computer, coming to realize how expensive a new furnace would be. 

“Seriously, Joe.  Let me help with it.”

Joe waved him off.  “If I won’t let you buy me a bed, what makes you think I am going to let you pay for a furnace?”

Kaoru sighed, leaning back against the couch, his arm resting against Joe’s and blazing the skin he touched.  He was too aware of Kaoru.  Act natural, act natural.

“Are you going to have enough to cover it?”

Joe squinted at the price again.  It was a fifth of his budget for his restaurant, which he’d already spent half on other repairs.  He still needed to buy a nice fridge and stove, tables and chairs, dishware, and, of course, the food.  Joe set his jaw stubbornly.  “I’ll make do.”

Kaoru nudged his shoulder.  “What if I became a business partner?  Invest in the business?”

“I can’t ask you to do that,” Joe said, turning his gaze on Kaoru.  When his eyes met Kaoru’s, he didn’t find pity, but determination. 

“I’m serious,” Kaoru said with a twinge of annoyance.  “I mean this sincerely.”

“Kaoru, you’re already doing enough.  You bought my brother’s furniture for god’s sake.”

“I know,” Kaoru said with a roll of his eyes and for some reason Kaoru was leaning more onto Joe’s shoulder.  “And I did that gladly.  But now I’m asking to go into business with you.”

“Why in the world would you want to do that?”

Kaoru sat back up and turned to look at him point blank.  “Kojiro, I’ve been eating your food since high school.  I know a good investment when I see one.  People are going to love your food.”

Joe searched his eyes, looking for any deception, but it appeared Kaoru probably actually fully believed in him.  “You sure?” he asked. 

“Of course,” Kaoru said, leaning back into the couch.  Joe had to resist the urge to wrap his arm across the back of the couch, around Kaoru’s shoulders.  “Look, just tell me how much you need and I’ll write you a check.”

Joe looked back at his computer, mentally calculating the numbers.  He could make it just fine if he could just pay for the furnace.  Then when he got his first paycheck, he could stay afloat with rent and groceries.  He’d just be cutting it close. 

He felt a little sheepish as he turned the computer to Kaoru.  “What if you just, uh…”  He didn’t even want to ask; the words wouldn’t come out.

Kaoru huffed, his expression soft.  “Kojiro, are you asking me to buy you a furnace?”

Joe cringed.  “I guess I am.”

“Practically domestic,” Kaoru said with a small laugh, taking the computer from Joe’s hands.  “I’ve got this.”

Joe blew out a heavy breath, still mortified.  “Thank you, Kaoru.  Seriously.  It’ll help a lot.”

“You got nothing to worry about,” Kaoru said, clicking around on the computer screen.  “I plan on investing heavily into our future.”

Our.  He said our.  What exactly did that mean?  Or was Joe reading too far into it again?

Reki’s door opened then and their little red head emerged from his room, hair messy, a frustrated look on his face and he practically yelled into the living room, “English sucks!”

Joe couldn’t help his laugh at Reki’s outburst and slapped a hand to his mouth to try to mask it.  Reki had locked himself into his room a half hour ago, declaring he needed peace and quiet from them to do his homework.

Kaoru took it more seriously, beckoning Reki over.  “Show us what you’re having trouble with.”

Reki sighed heavily, like the weight of the world was on his shoulders, fingers curled roughly into his notebook, but he obeyed nonetheless.  He forced himself onto the couch, between Kaoru and Joe, even though there was space on Kaoru’s other side, and once he wedged a space to sit, he held out the worksheet that he was trying to copy into his notebook.  It was a list of English words. 

Kaoru took the paper from him, glancing at Reki’s shaky handwriting.  “They look right to me.”

Joe nodded.  He wasn’t as good as English as he was with Italian, but he could tell they were accurate.

“I can copy it okay,” Reki said.  “I have them memorized but what do they mean?  Everyone at school knows but me!  I didn’t learn this stuff at my last school.”  Reki’s brows were furrowed in distress and Reki looked genuinely like he was about to have a meltdown.

“Hey, kid, it’s okay,” Joe told him, wrapping an arm around his little shoulders and squeezing him.  He wanted to protect Reki from everything instinctually, including English vocabulary.  “You’re doing fine.  It’ll get some getting used to the differences in schools, but you’ll get it in the long run.”

Reki cast him a doubtful glance and he didn’t say anything, and then stubbornly turned to stare at his notebook.

“What does this one say?” Kaoru said, pointing to the first word on the page.

Reki scrunched his nose and sounded out the word: House.

“Do you know what it means?”

“No,” Reki said, his frustration leaking into his voice. 

Kaoru translated it to Japanese and Reki mouthed the word a couple times after, like he was desperately trying to remember it.  The two went on to the next word but Joe was distracted but how distressed Reki looked.  Maybe it was time to check in with Reki’s teacher.

It was difficult to call Reki’s teacher when Reki was around and he obviously couldn’t interrupt her class during the day, so he settled on emailing her the first chance he got.  During his busy day of fixing up his restaurant, he sent his email:

Miss Tanaka,

It seems like Reki has been struggling with his English homework.  He’s been very frustrated.  Have you noticed anything?  Any tips on how to help him?

Kojiro Nanjo

She didn’t respond to that email until he was playing a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos with Reki and Kaoru.  He checked it while Reki set up another round.  It read:

Mr. Nanjo,

Reki has been doing quite well in class.  It seems like he made friends with his desk neighbors.  His English is improving as well.  But if you would like to work on a few things with him, here are copies of worksheets he could practice.

Let me know if you have further questions,

                                                                            Ms. Tanaka

“Reki,” he prompted, setting his phone aside, watching as his kid brother braced himself on the floor, hand over the green hippo with a determined look on his face.  “Did you make friends at school?”

Kaoru took the yellow.  “Not now, Kojiro.  Reki and I are about to kick your ass again!”

“Yeah, kick your ass!” Reki parroted.

Joe gasped dramatically, turning a playful glare at Kaoru.  “Are you teaching my brother foul language?  You’re going to pay for that!”  He leaned down, crouching on the carpet, placing his hand over the orange hippo.

“ReadySetGo!” Reki said in blur, not giving them any warning before he was whacking at his hippo, getting the first few marbles.

“You little cheater!” Joe cried, getting to work. He caught a few marbles himself, but he caught a glimpse of Reki’s haul of marbles and Kaoru wasn’t too far behind him. 

There was one marble left and they all rapidly smashed the hippos’ lever, trying to get it.  Kaoru caught it last second with a triumphant laugh.  He looked carefree and pretty.  Joe couldn’t be mad but he growled, “You dirty cheaters!”

“I didn’t cheat,” Reki told him, counting his marbles, even though he clearly had the most.  “I announced the beginning fair and square.  You just got to be more prepared!”

“You hear that?” Kaoru asked as he sat back up, elbowing Joe with a grin.  “Listen to Reki and get better at paying attention.  Got it?”

“Oh yeah, yeah.  Get off your high horse.” 

After that Joe forgot to ask Reki more about school.

Reki stared ahead in class, tense and uncomfortable as the kids around him paired up for partner work.  He already knew what was going to happen since there were an odd number of kids in their class.  The teacher would come over and—

“Reki, would you like to be my partner?” his teacher asked, pulling a chair up to his lone desk, already knowing he couldn’t refuse.  There was no one left.

That.  She was going offer to be his partner and it would only make the kids think he was even more weird.   He glanced at the girls nearby, the ones he’d been in a group with before, and he saw them smile behind their hands.  They’d been so nice the first few days, but no one wanted to pair up with him and the more each of his classmates started to make fun of him when the teacher wasn’t looking, the more these girls backed away from any potential friendship.

And pairing up with the teacher?  Humiliating.

“Are you listening, Reki?” she asked, tapping her pen on the page. 

Reki straightened and glanced over the worksheet and his energy drained as he read over the math problem.  Math was another subject he disliked.  Mom loved it but would get mad at him if he asked for help or got anything wrong, so he just hid his grades in his bag.  If Mom didn’t see it, she didn’t ask.

Joe didn’t ask either, at least not yet. 

He hoped he didn’t ask and to keep that from happening, he would keep his horrible grades from his brother as long as possible.  Mom used to tell him that Joe was also bad at school, but not as terrible as Reki.  Reki was definitely the worst.

Reki knew Joe and Kaoru had told him a few times that they loved him the way he was, but she couldn’t be wrong all the time and she couldn’t be wrong about everyone else?  She’d been right about Joe being the best person ever.  She’d been right that not many other people liked him; his class was evidence.  So her words held some truth.

An ache settled in Reki’s chest as he thought of Mom then.  He wished she was here, so she could tell it to him straight.  She always told him without hesitation if he was doing something wrong or what she didn’t like about him.  It was easy because he was used to it.

He wasn’t used to people being nice to him all the time like Joe or Kaoru; they were hard to read, hard to know if they were mad.  He didn’t like fake nice people either, like his teacher, talking to him in that professionally cordial way to try to make him comfortable without being genuine.  He especially didn’t like the way his classmates treated him.  It was almost worse than being hit, in his opinion, to be ignored or laughed at without explanation.  It made him feel other, like something disgusting.

His teacher tapped his page again to get his attention; it reminded Reki of how he got the neighborhood cats’ attention.  “Do you want to try number one?  I can guide you.”

“Yes,” Reki said, leaning forward to reread the problem.  He wasn’t going to let her know how dumb he was because she would tell his brother and then Joe might actually notice.  It was the worst when Mom noticed. 

He read the problem out loud to her, secretly hoping the word problem made more sense this time.  It didn’t. 

She smiled at him that gentle but sad smile that she always did since she knew too much about what Mom did to him.  “Do you want me to show you where to start?”

Reki nodded.  He couldn’t be mad; she was being nice. 

A few of his classmates looked at him again over their assignments like he was a freak show display in the middle of the room, but it died away as they focused more on their friends they worked with.  And Reki listened to his teacher drone about math and tried not to cry.

Chapter Text

Reki clutched the sheet his teacher had passed out to the class while he waited for Joe to show up for his pick-up.  The sheet was a reminder that they were off this Friday for a minor holiday.  Reki was excited and incredibly relieved to avoid school for an extra day. He didn’t hate the school that Kaoru and Joe had picked out for him, but he was always being behind and he didn’t have any friends.  He could hear Mom laughing at him.

He wondered if he would go to stay with Kaoru on Friday or if he and Joe would do something.  Joe was really busy with his new restaurant and Reki didn’t want to bother him again if he needed to work.

Reki waited by the curb, minutes ticking by.  His classmates disappeared without another glance at him, as did other kids, and he found the school growing quiet.

He glanced up the road to where Joe usually came from but the street was empty.  He looked down the other way.  He knew home was close by. 

“Reki?”  He turned and found his teacher standing behind him.  She was carrying a box of something to her car.  “What are you still doing here?”

“Oh, I was just going home,” Reki told her, fingers curling into his backpack straps.  He turned on his heel and started home before she could try to talk to him more. 

He thought of Mom then.  This had happened all the time early on and she would be so apologetic when she missed pick-up but then be so mad that he went home on his own.  But if he didn’t, he would be there all night.

The thought had a shiver running down his neck.  Joe wasn’t Mom but her taunting words that Joe would eventually abandon him echoed in his head. 

He shook his head to banish the thoughts and focused on walking home.  As he thought, the walk wasn’t long, but it felt longer without Joe.

Reki was almost there when he heard feet pounding across the pavement in his direction.  He turned, catching sight of Joe running towards him.  Joe looked like a mess—his hair sweaty, his clothes covered in a grease—and his expression was frantic.  “Reki!”

He stopped in his tracks and watched curiously as Joe slid to a stop in front of him, dropping to his knees, and suddenly Reki was scooped into a hug.  His chin hit Joe’s shoulder and he inhaled in surprise. 

“Reki, I’m so sorry I’m late,” Joe panted, squeezing Reki further.  He pulled himself back and held Reki firmly by the shoulders.  “Shit, I will never let that happen again.”

Frowning, Reki looked him over.  “It’s okay. I can walk from school.”  He said it but he couldn’t help the relief he felt by seeing his brother.  He blinked a few times so he wouldn’t cry.

“Yeah, but I told you that me or Kaoru would always walk with you,” Joe said, looking into Reki’s eyes.  “It kills me that I broke that promise.”

Reki flinched subtly at his phrasing.  Kill.  Dead.  The picture of Mom on the bathroom floor flashed in his mind.  He forced himself to say, “You’re busy.”

Joe’s expression crumpled with looked like sadness.  “Not busy enough for my kid brother,” Joe said, suddenly smiling at him.  He ruffled Reki’s hair and then looked at the paper Reki had scrunched up on his walk.  “What you got there?”

“Oh,” Reki said, holding it out.  “From my teacher.”

Joe took it, sitting back on his heels, and peeled it open.  He read the short message and nodded.  “Looks like you have a day off.”

“I can stay home,” Reki started.

“No, you’ll stay with me.  We’ll figure it out.”  His words were firm, resolute, and Joe looked more determined than Reki had seen him in a long time.  Joe got up, his joints creaking.  “Geez, I’m getting old,” he complained before folding up the teacher’s message.  “You can come with me to the restaurant.  You could see it for the first time.  Kaoru can come too after he’s done working.”

“Really?” Reki asked.

Joe held out his hand for Reki.  “Yeah, of course.  As long as you don’t get too bored.  Maybe we should bring a few things.”

Reki took Joe’s warm palm.  “I won’t get bored!” he promised, growing excited.  “Is it almost done?”

His brother hummed uncommittedly.  “Kinda, but I think it’ll be another week or so until I am ready to take on staff and start the training and testing dishes…”  He trailed off, lost in his head.  Joe was always more far away when he talked about his business, which was more often this week. 

“I can help you test the food!” Reki told him, swinging their linked hands.  He warmed as he saw their home in the distance on the street.  Things always felt better when he was close to home.

Joe was still a little far away, even as he said, “Yeah, totally.”

That Friday, Reki went with Joe to his restaurant and listened while his older brother listed all the things he needed to do today.  Reki didn’t really know what some of the things he said were, but he was just happy to hang out with him, even if they were cleaning.

They approached a building not far in their neighborhood that looked cozy and welcoming.  There was a fresh sign outside the front, announcing that it was ‘Sia La Luce, coming soon.’  It looked nice!

Kaoru stood by the door, waiting.

Joe slowed when he noticed Kaoru.  “I told you not to take the day off,” Joe told , leading Reki over to the other man.  “Reki’s cool hanging out with me today, right?”

“Right,” Reki said confidently, nodding.

“See?  There, told ya.  No need to waste a day off on us,” Joe said.

Kaoru rolled his eyes, gesturing to the front door.  “Don’t be such a child and unlock it already,” he said impatiently.  “And I told you, I didn’t care.  I want to see what you’ve accomplished so far, Kojiro.  It’s not a waste.”

Joe’s keys jingled in his hand.  He unlocked the door hastily, nudging it open.  “Just keep in mind that I’m still working on stuff.  It’s nowhere near done.” 

Reki pushed past him and went inside, the others behind him.  He stared around at the space.  There wasn’t any furniture in the room, but it was clean and smelled of paint.  “There’s nothing in here,” Reki said.

Joe chuckled.  “Yeah, the furniture doesn’t come until Monday.  I got the kitchen complete, though, and the new furnace is in.”  Joe gestured at Kaoru to follow him.  “Want to see your investment?”

Kaoru followed him into a side room while Reki continued to explore into the kitchen.  It was kind of small, but bigger than the one in their apartment.  The kitchen looked like a mix of new appliances and well-used.   Reki followed the walkway into the back room, finding a supply room with large shelves, currently empty.  There was a large fridge on the far side.

There was another room, almost the size of a small walk-in closet, and it had a desk and papers stacked on it.  This must be Joe’s office.  Reki glanced up and found a cabinet with a drawing he’d made taped to it.

He stared, stunned.

He didn’t know why it was here.  It didn’t make sense to him.  He’d made that at home and given it to Joe, expecting him to throw it away, but here it was.  The drawing wasn’t even that good.  It was just a drawing of Joe and Kaoru, scribbled while he was tired.

“Reki, where’d you go, kid?”

For a reason Reki could not explain, Reki suddenly burst into silent tears because between the drawing and Joe’s concern, he felt overwhelmed and he didn’t know why.  He crouched onto the floor, swiping at his face, begging himself to stop.  He couldn’t, though.  It felt like his throat was closing up, his fingers sweaty and tingling, and suddenly it was so hot and—and—

Hands landed on his shoulder and suddenly Joe was crouching there at his side, rubbing his arms.  “Hey, hey.  What’s wrong?”

Reki shook his head, pushing his hands at his tears. 

Kaoru appeared in the doorway, looking down at the two of them.  “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” Joe said, continuing to rub at Reki’s arms.  “It’s okay, Reki, whatever it is, it’s okay.”

Reki looked at him through his tear-blurred eyes, and felt like crying more.  Joe was actually concerned about him.  It felt weird.   “I’m… I’m okay,” Reki said, his voice strained.  He didn’t know if he could get more out.

Joe’s expression didn’t easy from worry.  He only looked more at a loss, glancing at Kaoru over Reki’s shoulder and then back.  “Are you sure?”

Reki nodded, flinching when Joe’s hand gently touched his head.  Joe carded through his hair a few times.  “Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Kaoru said from above them.  “It’s okay to be sad sometimes.”

“Yeah, and you can tell me anything,” Joe told Reki, continuing to stroke his hair.

“I’m not sad,” Reki said.  Not really.  Just scared.  He was afraid that this was a dream or that Joe would slowly start to hate him or that Joe would find out how dumb he was.  He was terrified of losing what they had.  But Reki didn’t say any of that and instead looked back at the drawing.  “I need to make a better one.”

Joe glanced at it in surprise, not understanding.  “What? That one’s cool as it is.”

Kaoru hummed, looking at the drawing closely.  “Maybe you make some more for Joe,” Kaoru told him.  “Maybe one with you in it?”

“Oh!  Like our whole family!” Reki agreed with a heavy sigh, feeling like he were catching his breath.  Yeah, he could more drawings if they wanted them.  Better ones! 

“Good idea, Kaoru,” Joe said, going back to stroking Reki’s hair.  “I want one with you in it, too, okay?”

“I’ll make one when I get home!”  Reki wiped away his tears, excited.

Joe glanced back at Reki who was cleaning the front windows as far up as he could reach, which was only about halfway, and then watched Reki drag the step ladder over and do the rest.  The kid was resourceful, but Joe couldn’t help but watch him worriedly. 

He glanced back at Kaoru who was helping him put up a shelf.  Kaoru was already surveying him.  “He’ll be okay,” Kaoru reassured him softly, plucking another screw from Joe’s hand and starting to screw it into the wall anchor. 

“Do you really think so?  Am I missing something?”

Kaoru tightened the screw and then pushed his hand on the shelf, making sure it was solid.  He took the last screw from Joe’s hand and started on the last slot.  “I think something about the picture triggered him,” Kaoru said.

“Yeah, I think so too.  I just really liked the picture,” Joe said, frowning, watching Kaoru trade screwdriver for a level, starting to measure how well they did.  “I wouldn’t have put it up if I thought it would freak him out.”

Kaoru shook at his head, glancing at him.  “No, that’s not it.  I think we just need to make sure to keep doing what you’ve been doing already.  Keep encouraging him to express himself, tell him that you love the things he makes.”

“I do love them,” Joe said.  Reki had so cautiously given him that drawing a few days ago and Joe had loved it instantly. It was seriously cute, not because his kid brother had given it to him, but because Reki was also a good artist. 

Joe sighed, feeling guilty, and Kaoru pulled back the level to look at him with a quirk of his brow.  “Look, Kaoru, I fucked up.”

“How so?”

“I was late to pick him up a couple days ago.  He was already walking home without me and felt like a piece of shit—”

Kaoru glanced at Reki, still smearing at the window across the room, and he took Joe’s arm and pulled him into the quiet of utility room.  “Kojiro, you made a mistake.”

Joe shook his head, pressing at his temple.  “I keep messing things up.  I hadn’t been paying attention to the time and I—”

“Kojiro,” Kaoru said softly.  “It was one time.”  His tone was firm and his eyes pinned Joe to the floor.  “And I know you, you won’t do it again.”

“No, I won’t,” Joe agreed, even though his stomach clenched sourly.  “I just—I don’t want to be Mom to him.  I don’t—I can’t—”

Kaoru pressed his fingers into Joe’s arms.  “Breathe, Kojiro.”  He waited, breathing in exaggeration, forcing Joe to focus and slow.  “There you go.  Look, both of you have a lot of trauma from that woman, but you aren’t her and neither of you are broken.  You and Reki have each other and you have me.”  He paused; his eyes so soft that Joe couldn’t look away.  “Kojiro, you would never hurt anyone, not on purpose.”

“That’s what I am afraid of, hurting him or you—”

“You won’t.  You’re stressed and overworked, Kojiro.  Just rely on me more, okay?”

Joe wanted so desperately too, but he felt like a burden.  He’d been one as long as he could remember.  He’s leached off of Kaoru for years and now he was hurting Reki and… What if Mom was right?  She’d told him how much of a burden he was so many—

“You’re spiraling,” Kaoru murmured, squeezing him to bring his attention back.

Joe blinked rapidly.  “Shit, you’re right.”

“I’m always right.  So, start listening to me.”  It felt like Kaoru had gotten closer but Joe was so struck by Kaoru’s gaze on him that he couldn’t focus.  “Will you start listening to me?”

“Anything for you, Kaoru,” he said, trying a smile.

“Don’t sweet talk me,” Kaoru said, rolling his eyes, letting Joe go.  Joe missed his warmth.

“Thank you, Kaoru.  Seriously.”

Kaoru searched his eyes.  “Don’t thank me.”

Joe smiled a little wider.  “Nah, I think I will.”

“Kojiro,” Kaoru sighed, playfully annoyed.

“Come on, what should I do to thank you?”  It was dangerously close to flirting.

Kaoru shook his head, exasperated.

“Ah, Kaoru!” Joe called playfully after Kaoru, laughing as Kaoru escaped with a glare.