Chapter Text
It was January 22nd, 1965, and Mrs. Curtis’s first baby is turning twenty, she’d be lying if she didn’t say it was kind of breaking her heart.
Darry was by the phone, calling Paul, seeing when he was coming home from college for the weekend.
All of her other boys were in the living room, throwing a mini party.
There were chips on the table, alongside some soda bottles, with some candy wrappers thrown about.
Two-Bit was laying out cards for Poker, a game which all of them cheat at but deny then gets mad when they see another cheating as well. Soda and Steve were snickering to each other, already having a card or two in their sock, with Dally giving them an unamused look while looking at his cards, a cigarette in between his lips.
Pony was joining them as well, he’s only played a little bit but happy to play with the other boys, with Johnny secretly helping him out to cheat.
Mrs. Curtis felt her husband hug her from behind, and she just leaned into his touch, with him resting his head on her shoulder.
“Can you believe it? Junior’s really an adult.” Mr. Curtis commented, swaying the two of them slightly.
“I can’t. It was just yesterday, you were teaching him how to hold a football, now he’s going to college on a scholarship for it.”
They saw Darry put down the phone, looking over and walking towards his parents. They pulled themselves away from each other, but not before Mr. Curtis pressed a kiss along her throat, making her chuckle softly.
“Paul’s coming in later tonight from college, so I’ll head over to his tonight.”
The Curtis parents smiled and nodded, walking back into the kitchen when they heard their timer go off.
Mrs. Curtis grabbed her old oven mitt and opened the hot oven door, pulling out the cake pan. It was the classic chocolate cake, the same recipe that had been in Mr. Curtis’s family for generations, being a tradition in their family now.
Mr. Curtis opened the fridge, going to grab the frosting tin, but it wasn’t there.
“Pony! Where’d you put the frosting?” He called to his youngest, looking over his shoulder to see his son throw up his hands in frustration because he was, unsurprisingly, losing the Poker game.
Ponyboy’s face twisted in confusion, looking into space as he searched his mind. “Oh, uh, I must’ve forgot to pick it up. I didn’t go into the West side after practice, sorry.”
Mrs. Curtis just smiled softly at her son, stopping her hand that was waving to cool down that cake. “That’s alright, sweetheart, no biggie.”
Darry looked up at the wall to see that time, and saw that it was only ‘6:23’. “It’s alright, Paul said that the shop don’t close until 7:30.” He walked over towards the door, jumping over Two’s arm as he tried to trip the birthday boy. “I’ll go get it, he showed me where it is.”
Before the new twenty year old could pick up the car keys, his father reached for it first.
“Nah, you stay here and watch your brothers and the other troublemakers,” The gang all sideyed the Senior, making the father chuckle. “Plus, me and your mother should pick up more soda, I think some pigs got in here and drank it all.”
Mr. Curtis clapped Darry on the shoulder, as Mrs. Curtis tilted his face down to hers as her hand ran through his hair four times.
Darry watched as his parents climbed in their light blue car, and then saw the headlights come on as they pulled out of the driveway and down the street.
…
It was around eight pm, the cake wasn't hot anymore, and the whole gang was starting to get on edge.
Around thirty minutes before, Dally had decided that he had enough of waiting around for the Curtis parents to return and left. He said that he found a new place to stay on the West Side, and that when the cake was ready, to ring a place called Buck’s; it was a bar of sorts, along with a place to gamble and something else, so how Dally got a room Darry frankly didn't want to know.
Two-Bit had fallen asleep on the couch, one leg over the arm, drool coming out of his mouth onto the fabric. Steve had decided to crack into the dinner that was on the stove, watching a cowboy movie that was on the TV. Johnny was quietly watching the movie as well, playing with the seams on his jacket, picking at them with his bitten down fingernails.
Soda and Pony were on their father's chair, cuddled up into each other. They had tried to get Darry to open up his presents on the living room table, saying that his birthday celebration didn't have to be on pause because their parents weren't home yet, but Darry refused.
Darry was slowly beginning to pace, he knew that the roads were particularly icy that day, that's why he offered to go. Paul had showed him a way to get to the bakery without going over the train tracks, though it did take a couple minutes extra. He tried to push the thought out of his mind, trying not to get worried.
‘Pa probably took the same route he showed me, he knows all the roads ‘round here..’ Darry thought nervously, starting to bite his nails, a bad habit he picked up from playing football over the years.
“Dar, when’re Ma and Pa gonna be home?” Pony tiredly asked, snuggling up into their brother's side.
Darry have him a small smile, even though he was starting to get worried himself. “Soon, kiddo, they shouldn't be much longer.” He went over and ran his hand through Pony’s hair, just like how their mother did when they were scared about something.
Pony was just about asleep on Soda’s shoulder when the sound of a car pulling up to their house.
“See, what did I tell ya, there they are now.” Darry reassured, about to walk away towards the kitchen before a knock was laid upon the front door.
Darry gave a confused look, as did the rest of the awake gang. Their parents would never knock, it's their house, they didn't have to.
Steve was just about to get up to answer it before Darry shooed him back down, going over to the door after a second more urgent knock was pounded.
‘Maybe they just need help bringing the drinks in..’ Darry thought to himself, bringing his hand up to open up the door.
When the door was opened, Darry was greeted by, not his parents, but two police officers. One of them was an older man, hair turning gray and a badge engraved ‘sergeant’ on it. The other was a younger male, around Darry's own age, he clearly looked like he would rather be anywhere else at that moment than at the Curtis residence.
The older officer took off his cap, nudging his partner to follow, with the rookie reluctantly doing so. He rolled his eyes at his superior, holding it at his side as opposed to the other holding it at his stomach.
Darry leaned against the doorframe with one hand, the other on his hip. He tried not to look worried, not trying to think too hard about why two officers, one of them being a sergeant, was at their doorstep late at night.
“How can I help you, officers? I can tell ya Dallas ain't here, so you'll have to fetch him elsewhere.” He said coolly, it was fair knowledge about Dally’s hanging around with the six other boys; Darry supposed he got into a bit of trouble after he left the house.
A look of pity crossed the sergeant’s face, while the rookie just gave a disrespectful snarl of the lip.
“No, nothing like that son. May my partner and I come in?” The officer asked, to which confused Darry.
‘Why would they come inside? They never come inside.’ Darry thought as he nodded, moving to the side allowing the two to come into the small house.
With the two officers inside, Sodapop tensed up, which then led to Ponyboy waking up fully. They both looked just as confused as Darry was, Soda taking Pony’s hand in his own, rubbing his with his thumb.
Steve shut off the TV at the set of the uniformed males, giving a dirty glare while moving to sit in the empty seat on the couch. Johnny looked at them cautiously, looking between them and Darry.
It was needless to say that they were all confused at what was going on.
The older officer looked around with a sad look in his eyes, taking in the young boys in the room before sighing out a breath. “Are you Darrel Curtis Jr.?”
Darry blinked, “Uh, yeah..?” He answered in a question, he never got in trouble with the law so how did the officer know his name?
“I'm Officer Regan, this is my partner Officer Blake, we’re from Tulsa Police Department.” He, Officer Regan, introduced before going on. “It comes with a heavy heart to deliver this message, but there's a high possibility that your partners were both victims of a car accident. They both died on impact.”
Silence
All there was was silence
And this dead ringing in his ears
Was this real?
This was a dream. This has to be a dream. He was floating, so it couldn't be reality, it was a delusion.
All of what the officer had said clicked in Darry's mind, but at the same time… it didn't.
Car Accident
Train
Ice
Bodies
Identify
Darry wasn't connected to reality.
Could he even see the world right now? He can't, but he could.
Could he feel emotions? He can't, but he could.
An animalistic screech pulled Darry back to reality, it didn't sound human at all. When he looked over to where the noise came from, he saw his youngest brother getting held up by his other brother.
Pony had tears running down his face at a rapid pace, leaving a puddle on the floor. He screamed again at the top of his lungs, Darry didn't know a noise that gut wrenching even existed, but now it did.
Soda looked as if he was about to vomit right there and then, looking everywhere at the same time. His face was deathly pale, no color left in his usual reddish tan skin.
Two-Bit was awakened by the noise taking in the sight in front of him, and for the first time in years, there was no trace of any smile on his face.
Steve rushed over to Soda's side, holding him up and guiding him towards a chair to sit him down, mouth open to say words but none came out.
Johnny slowly guided Ponyboy to the floor, the youngest taking the other's shirt in his hands as he let out screams filled with grief. Johnny's shirt was stained with tears and snot immediately, but it didn't mute the other's grief in the slightest, it could probably be heard even blocks away.
Officer Regan appeared in front of Darry suddenly, shaking his shoulder slightly. “Son, we have to take you down to the station. Because of what the accident was, we can't be fully sure it was your parents, so we have to have you identify them.
“If they are, in fact, your folks, you can take any of their salvageable items with you.”
The two officers started to escort Darry out of the house to their police vehicle, the new twenty year old feeling like he was walking on air. They were stopped when a force crashed into Darry's back, when he turned he saw it was Sodapop.
“Please don't leave!” His voice was filled with desperation, tears streaming down his face, hands not budging from the fabric they were holding.
Darry tried to smile, to reassure them that it was all fine, but he couldn't. He couldn't move his face to smile or frown, couldn't move his hands to comfort him either.
It was like he was made of stone.
“I'll be back, Soda, promise.” His voice kept one tone, and it was obvious that that didn't soothe any worry. The only way Soda pulled away from Darry was Steve removing his hands, then sat him down once again.
…
When they arrived at the station, they took Darry down a long, dark hallway. It was cold, but he couldn't feel it; he knew he should feel something, should be sad, should be cold, should be grieving, but Darry just… wasn't.
They finally arrived at a door, to which the older officer put his key into the door and opened it. The smell of the room was disgusting, Darry could tell that one thing, smelling worse than a hospital. A place he rathered be at that moment.
A man in a white apron and gloves stood in front of him, the two officers then leaving the room, closing the door behind them.
There were two metal table beds in the room, both being over in a white cloth, even though Darry could see some red coming out from under it.
The man walked over to the side of one of them. “Okay son, so when I push this down,” He motioned towards the cloth. “Just say yes, this is them, or no it is not.”
Darry wanted to run.
To get out of this godforsaken room.
From this rancid smell.
If he never identifies them, then his parents can still be alive. Still have the possibility to think they would come home. Still have the possibility to go to church with them on Sunday. Still have the possibility to hug them.
To taste their cooking
To feel their comfort
To get away from here
To be in their arms
To be a kid again
It was her.
It didn't look like her.
But it was.
His mother's dirty blonde hair, which she grew out to the middle of her back after cutting it after Ponyboy was born, was filled with red. Chunks of it were missing, bits and sections were cut. The usual one length haircut was now gone, replaced with… Darry didn't even know. The brownish blonde color was now mixed with a dark red, knots of hair and blood filling her hair which was free of any knots or tangles most of the time.
Her tanned skin, which Soda took after, was now blue. Her arms were blue and purple.
Her face has gashes and cuts in it, dried blood covering her face, some of it still dripping down. Her lip had a bite mark, part of her bottom lip was missing, showing some of her bottom teeth.
Her eyes were still wide open. They were usually so filled with light, always filled with affection, with love; but now they were filled with… they were filled. They had nothing behind them, looking into infinity and nothing at all.
Darry couldn't move.
Was he breathing? Did it matter he was breathing? What was he supposed to do? Was this actually his mother? It could just be a stranger, a doppelganger, but he knew it wasn't.
He gave a small tilt of his head, not knowing if he could give anymore than that.
That seemed to be enough for the man, as he covered his mother back up before going over to the other table.
Without any warning, the cloth was once again lifted.
It was him.
The face of the man has no indications, it was just a dent, just filled with blood and the muscles from what was supposed to be inside the face. No eyes, no teeth, no cheeks, no nothing but blood and gore; but Darry knew this was his father.
He didn't have his right arm, from what Darry could see, seeing muscles and arteries hanging from the deattach limb.
This was the man he shared a face with.
This was the man he shared a name with.
This was the man he looked up to all his life.
This was a man filled with life and light throughout every day, never failing to bring a smile to anyone's face.
This was a dead man on a metal table bed, with no physical possibilities of identification.
But Darry knew it was his father.
Darry tilted his head again, with the body being covered back up.
“Okay, now that's done.” The man came back with a clipboard. “I need to verbally hear their identities.”
He felt like he was going to be sick, bile running up his throat.
He had to verbally say that these torn apart bodies were his parents? That they had gotten into an accident and died a brutal death? That they were really and truly gone?
The man in white started unexpectedly, like he did the first two times. “The first body you saw was your mother, Lorraine Wilma Curtis?”
Darry swallowed nothing. “Y-Yes.”
He wrote something down. “The second body you saw was your father, Darrel Shaynne Curtis Sr.?”
Darry nodded
“Verbally.” The man reminded
“Yes.”
He wrote something again, before clicking his own off. “That's all I need, you can go to the front desk to collect any of the salvageable things. Thanks, you’ve been a real help.”
The older male basically pushed Darry out of the room, and he heard a click behind him.
He started to walk down the corridor mindlessly, his brain didn't remember what to do or where he came from, but his feet did.
When he got to the front desk, there was an older lady sitting there, glasses on her nose.
She looked up when she noticed Darry, “What can I do for you, honey?”
His mother used to call him that.
“Um.. I, uh, need my parents' stuff. The, erm, accident.” He tried to explain, the words getting jumbled inside his mouth.
The woman seemed to understand immediately, getting up to go into a backroom, coming back out almost just as quickly.
“Sorry, honey, but this was all there was.” She apologized, holding out her hand.
In her hand, were two dented silver bands. His parents’ wedding bands. That's all there was of them from the accident.
He took them wordlessly.
“Officer Regan and Officer Blake just went out on a call, but I can get someone else to drive you or you can wait.” She explained, but Darry brushed her off, waving his hand.
“It’s fine. I can do it.” He said tonelessly, starting to slowly walk out before the secretary could say anything.
After he got around a block away from the station, Darry threw up in a bush, letting go of all the nausea he was holding back ever since he saw that first body. Ever since he heard the news.
Now he has to go back to the house and confirm it once again, to seal the truth for the other boys, who were still at the house still.
It was cold out. But Darry kind of liked it, finally feeling something other than being nauseous, but it wasn't enough.
Darry was just about home, to say that this was reality to the other boys when he heard his name being called.
“Darry! It is you, hey, Dar!” When he turned, he saw Paul running towards him, pulling him into a hug. “Oh, man, happy birthday! Didn't bring along my present, just wanted to see you first.”
Paul pulled back, leaving his hands on his shoulders, Darry just looking at him blankly.
The other didn't seem to notice, if he did, he didn't seem to care or say anything.
“I can't wait for you to get to college, you'll easily get quarterback. Spring cannot come fast enough.”
The whole world stopped once again. He had forgotten about college, he wouldn't be able to do it anymore, could he? Sodapop and Ponyboy needed him. The gang needed him. He had to be a pillar like his father, his senior, was for them. He had to be the help like his mother was for them.
And here Paul was, talking about college and football, oblivious to all the grief Darry was in.
“No.”
Confusion passed across Paul's face, an eyebrow raising and his lip turned down, taking a hand off of Darry's shoulder. “What do you mean ‘no’?”
“I ain't going to college.”
Paul gave a humorless laugh, shaking his head. “What do you mean by that? We were just talking about it not too long ago.”
Darry, for the first time that night, looked into Paul's eyes, something burning behind his own. “You're so worried about college when my folks just died, huh?”
Something unreadable crossed Paul's face.
“Wait, hold on, what do you mean by that? I would've been here earlier, if you're mad by that, there was this stupid accident on the tracks.
“Can you believe some folks crossed them when a train came by, fucking stupid ass greasers if you asked me.”
“Those stupid ass greasers were my parents, Paul.”
All the air looked like it was punched out of Paul at that moment, eyes almost bulging out.
“Yeah, Paul,” Darry spat out his name. “Didn't fucking know that, did’ja genius.”
“H-Hey, you can't hold that against me, I didn't know!”
“So you wouldn't have said that if you knew they were my folks, but you would've if they were random grease?”
Paul stuttered, mouth opening and closing, putting his hands on his hips. “Darry, come on, you know you're different from them.”
“How so, Paul? What makes me so different from the rest.
“Pony’s smarter than I am, and Soda's more charming, so why me?
“You just are, alright! If you're staying behind to take care of those your bastards of broth-”
Darry punched Paul right in the face before he could finish his sentence.
Was Darry taking out his anger on Paul at the moment? Probably, but it was allowing him to feel something, so he wasn't going to stop. Wasn't going to complain about the feeling.
“Don't you dare call them that. They're my brothers, my blood, so watch your mouth.”
Paul looked at him with a bit of rage, holding his cheek as he pushed Darry back.
“I’ve been doing that for you for, God, I don't even know how long!” Paul went to punch Darry back, but he dodged, but the Soc still got a punch in.
“Everytime another Soc would talk badly about you, I was there to stop them, to stand up for you! Your brothers have done nothing!
“You fucking owe me!”
They pushed each other on the cold ground, rolling around to get the advantage, taking any and all swings and kicks in as they could. They were both out for blood, taking all their anger and frustration out of the other.
“My brothers are worth more than you fucking are, Paul. Just because you don't understand family bonds because you don't fucking have any, doesn't mean I don't!” Darry landed a hit in, leaving Paul dizzy on the ground, as he stood up and took a step away from the Soc. “You can just fuck off Paul! You're just some fucking rich ass kid, you’d probably prefer if your parents die, at least you’d have a fortune.”
Paul sat up as Darry walked away, slightly limping. “Oh, fuck off you dirty, filthy greaser! You would be nothing, I mean, absolutely fucking trash without me.
“Every trophy, every win, every celebration was me. Not you. You owe me everything.
“We fucking promise, you dick! You're the one fucking walking away from this, I've been staying even after everyone told me not to. Your brothers would leave you in a heartbeat if they were you, you're just being a fucking idiot!”
When the Soc saw his tactic wasn't working on the Greaser, his face grew red with anger, not being able to tell what's his skin and what's the blood dripping down his face. “The next time I see you, Greaser, I'll fucking kill you! You made me look like a fucking idiot, and I'll kill you for that. I'll slick your dirty throat with my knife, I swear to God, just watch.”
The Soc’s yells drowned out as Darry just kept walking, finally feeling something for once in hours. Instead of being numb, he was cold and angry, and he could feel all the bruises starting to form and blood that was going down his face.
…
When the door opened, the whole gang looked up to see a bloodied Darry come in.
They were concerned, but Darry waved them off, not wanting to be bothered by any of them at that moment.
Pony, exhausted from crying, his eyes stinging slightly along with his throat, after vomiting after crying so much. He tried to ask his eldest brother, to see what was going to happen, to see if everything was real.
But, before he could get out a word, he paused dead in his tracks when his oldest brother looked at him.
Darry's eyes were a beautiful blue-green, looking as if the Caribbean Sea was looking right back at him, having no trouble at all at reflecting light. They were soft and understanding, acting like their father's, his gentle water-like eyes were always inviting.
But now, they were hard. It was as if the ice age has hit his eyes, now having a piercing like effect on him, as if Darry was looking right through him, it made Pony want to cower away. Instead of them being like water, they were now uncrackable ice, there being no heat to melt it.
Instead of the water eyes staring at Ponyboy like usual, they were now ice, having a hard set to them. Over the course of a few hours, water had turned to ice, making one of their parents’ favorite feature of Darry disappear, leaving behind eyes that made anyone shiver underneath the coldness of them.