Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Stan lay sprawled on his yellow plaid armchair with a Pitt Cola in hand. The kids were coming soon so Stan was savoring the few hours he had left before he would need to drive to the bus stop. He sighed, but a knock interrupted his blissful laziness. With a huff, he stood up and reached the door. When Stan opened it he didn't expect no one to be there. He also didn't expect there to be a pale yellow envelope on his doormat.

Straining from the effort, Stan crouched down and picked it up. The parchment was rough and smelled like... smoke? He wasn't really sure what the scent was, but it coincided with smoke better than nail polish. Taking his mind off the strange scent, he unfolded the paper. Stan almost choked on the soda as he read.

"We are happy to contact Pine's family about our patients' rehabilitation. They've responded well to their therapy and the council believes they are ready for a hands-on session. We will be sending patients 276 and 277 (Billiam Equaltrial Caesar Cipher and Stanford Filbrick Pines) to your current location. The two will be staying with you for one human “summer”, perhaps longer depending on their growth. They will be learning about empathy during their time with you on Earth. It is strongly advised you stay relatively close to where you are now for about a day as we escort the patients to you. We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause.

Signed, the Great Axolotl."

Stan scrunched the letter in one hand and placed down the can of Pitt. He grabbed his phone and called Soos, who was currently running up to the store to get more supplies for the exhibits.

'Soos, I need you to pick up the kids. I can't make it, I'm dealing with something urgent right now.'

'Alright Mr Pines.'

Stan hung up and looked back to the ripped and creased letter in his hand. He slammed it into the closest bin.

* * *

Ford was not happy when he and his muse were called on by the axolotl. They had already been informed that they were coming back to Earth. What Ford was pissed about, was who they would be forced to live with. Of course that damned pink fish would make it so the people least likely to forgive would be caring for him and Bill. His muse was attempting to console Ford, to no avail. The black liquid ran like a river from his closed eye and it stung the half-healed scar. Ford had learned this black liquid was acidic and only dripped from his eye when he was experiencing intense emotion. This usually would've fascinated him, inspiring a new entry in one of his many journals, BUT HIS JOURNALS WERE A PILE OF ASH.

Since Ford had technically "died" a demon, he was in the Theraprism in his demonic form. Although many of his powers were sealed away, this meant he had the ability to float, conjure objects, read his muse's mind when allowed, see into the future (although it was weaker than Bill's ability), and a few other interesting skills. Again, he would've loved to study this form, but without a journal, he just had to sit and think about it. Bill shook him from his enraged thoughts again.

'Fordsy, we gotta go.'

Still angry, Ford complied for his muse's sake and his muse's sake alone. During their time in the Theraprism Bill had become outwardly passive, but Ford saw through that. He knew his muse was raging alongside him, but Bill kept his temper reigned in. Ford breathed in. 1, 2, 3. He then breathed out. Bill noticed he was using his method to calm down. They began to walk out of their cell, accompanied by two white-hooded guards.

Finally, at the end of the hall, they were greeted by the Axolotl. It smiled in that strange passive way it always did, concealing whatever it truly felt underneath, as it welcomed them into their usual therapy room.

'Hello Ford, I'm glad you're using the anger management techniques I suggested, are they helping?'

Ford did not answer, apathetic. Bill nodded, replying for Ford. These sessions rarely got Ford talking. Most of the fellow inmates of the Theraprism had never even heard him talk, it was Bill who usually spoke for the both of them. The Axolotl had even allowed the two to keep the power to talk to each other in their minds in an attempt to hear Ford's opinions on the therapy.

'Well, that's good. You've both been informed of the time you'll be spending on Earth, I believe this is the next step in your rehabilitation. Let's hope your past family can help you.'

Ford's rage continued to bubble and simmer as the Axolotl spoke.

'Hope my past family can help me?'

Ford echoed, still not meeting the Axolotl's gaze as the black liquid continued to gush down his face.

'They aren't my family. They can't help me. They can't help us.'

Frills didn't respond, he just watched as Ford recoiled back into Bill's arms.

'Interesting.'

The axolotl jotted down a few notes. "Talk of the Pines Family, Ford rejects." The notepad was bare spare those few notes. This was going to be a short session, after all, just documenting the reaction to their new environment.

'Alright, please follow me.'

The axolotl stood and led the two to a portal. It opened into the forest. Ford could guess which one.

Chapter Text

Stan was waiting, albeit impatiently, but waiting nonetheless. He watched the door as the hours ticked by. Stan knew the kids would be at the Mystery Shack soon so he could only hope he had the time to kick out Ford and Bill before the kids saw. Stan did not want to burden their summer with taking care of his psychopathic brother and his boyfriend (who was equally psychopathic).

A knock, quite upbeat in rhythm, broke Stan from his thoughts. Was it his brother? Was it the kids? Taking a deep breath, he opened the door. Shock was an understatement.

A vibrant pink Axolotl floated on his porch and behind it, were two figures. One of the figures had a shockingly unnatural yellow eye, with a slit pupil similar to a cat. His scruffy, curly hair hid the other from sight while a long, blue-tinged scar overlapped the visible one. The tuft that lay over his concealed eye was a deep black, which seemed to outline the stark blonde. His velvety black gloves went up all the way to his elbows. He was dressed in a professional looking yellow suit, with a black brick pattern rimming the edges.

Stan knew exactly who this was.

The other figure had a deep brown leather coat, decorated with triangles wherever they fit. There were golden triangles for buttons and leather triangles for pockets. He wore all black pants that didn’t show much detail and a deep crimson sweater underneath the ornate coat. His glasses were cracked on one side, but the main thing that drew Stan’s attention was the snaking, deep pink line that ran through his brother’s closed right eye.

Stan’s mouth hung agape for a moment. Ford’s cold glare went unnoticed as Stan looked to the Axolotl. It spoke in a calming voice that came from everywhere at once, even though the being’s mouth didn’t even twitch.

’Stanley Pines, I’m sure you have many questions along with grudges. We hope you can get past these feelings to allow our patients the opportunity they need. Stanford has developed a lack of empathy and in order to be granted a second life he needs to be able to understand others.’

The Axolotl’s monotone voice was soothing but Stan could still hear the words. He did NOT want to house his backstabbing brother. Ford spoke, apathy dripping from each word.

‘This might be frustrating, but you have no choice in this Stanley. Neither do we.’

The Axolotl smiled as Ford spoke, noting that the presence of his family seemed to help him speak up. They would work on what he spoke up about later, just getting him talking at all was a big step.

’I will be coming back at the end of every week to give them their usual session and check in on their progress. I apologise but I cannot stay much longer.’

The Axolotl looked back at the trees and a portal poked through the foliage. It floated away, returning to the Theraprism.

Bill and Ford were left standing on the Mystery Shack’s porch, uncomfortable and unhappy. Suddenly Stan grabbed Ford by the collar of his turtle neck, shaking him.

’You think I’ll forgive you for what you did to me and the kids?!’

He didn’t expect an answer, but Ford gave him one anyway.

’No, and I don’t want you to. I want to get this stupid “empathy” training over and done with.’

He shoved Stan off of him. Tearing his attention away from the two demons on his porch, Stan noticed the car pulling into the driveway.

’Shit-‘

Stan muttered under his breath, turning back to Ford and Bill.

’Get inside or go live in the woods, I don’t care either way.’

Stan left to greet his grandniece and nephew, leaving Bill and Ford alone on the porch. Bill held his human’s hand reassuringly as the two stepped indoors. Ford’s closed eye had little lines of black trickling down again.

’Calm down Fordsy, we’re only going to be here for a year. That’s barely a blip in our lifespans.’

His muse attempted to console him but Ford couldn’t stop the rage that built up. It seemed silly to do the breathing exercises right now, he had a right to be mad! He was stuck on Earth with humans that despised him. What if they tried to hurt his muse? More black streamed down from his eye.

’Sixer, come on, we’re fine. The pink fish left us enough power to fight back if the humans try anything.’

Ford smiled slightly. He loved it when his muse read his mind, it showed their connection and trust.

’I know my muse. I can’t help how I feel, they technically killed you! I think I’m allowed to be mad.’

’Fordsy, be a little self aware. We took over their dimension and turned most of their friends to stone. I don’t regret it, but I’m not blind.’

Ford rolled his good eye. Bill smiled and wiped the black liquid off of his face. It hissed passively, unable to harm Bill. From what little Ford understood about the black goop, it couldn’t burn anyone Ford loved. The substance was almost an extension of himself, in a way. His thoughts trailed off, moving away from his rage as he thought about the logistics of a semi-sentient sludge.

A loud scream broke him from his thoughts as he looked outside. There was a tall, teenage girl with long brown hair and a brightly coloured sweater standing on the porch. She looked pale as her eyes lay on her presumable dead Grunkle. The bags she was carrying lay lopsided by her feet.

’GRUNKLE STAN?’

She called, still not taking her eyes off Bill and Ford.

’What’s wrong sweetie? Oh, right.’

Stan rubbed the back of his neck. Ford spoke before Stan could explain.

’Bill and I have been damned to live with you by the Great Axolotl until we’ve learnt empathy. Trust me Mabel, I’m just as thrilled as you are.’

Ford smiled sarcastically at her flabbergasted expression. Bill nudged him.

’Oh be nice.’

He scolded half-heartedly. Ford chuckled quietly.

Chapter Text

Dipper had come see what the problem was and when he saw Ford he dropped his bags. In a second the awkward teen had his hands on Ford’s collar, shaking him similarly to Stan. Ford just tsked, utterly unbothered by the shorter boy.

’Stanley, should you be teaching the kids to do this?’

He asked, a slight humour in his words. With a quick roll of his arm he had escaped Dipper’s grasp and was holding his wrist behind his back. Stan immediately stepped forward, ready to attack his brother. Ford let go and held his hands up defensively.

’He started it, brother.’

’Don’t call me your brother.’

This whole time Bill just stood there, unmoving. When Stan had become aggressive he put his arm around Sixer, but otherwise he just spectated.

Dipper noticed that arm, reminding him of the markings along Ford’s neck during Weirdmageddon. He was too young to understand what they meant then, but now, he knew they were called hickeys. And where they came from. Ford watched, a little confused, as Dipper gagged.

Mabel cut in again.

’What are they doing here? What did Grun- I mean, Ford,’

Mabel watched as Dipper glared at the word “Grunkle”. Apparently that was not what Ford was anymore.

’What did Ford mean when he said “damned by the great Axolotl”?’

Bill answered and the kids were slightly surprised that his voice wasn’t synthesised as it was in Weirdmageddon. He just sounded like a normal person.

’Well, Shooting Star, when you and your brother sealed me away with the zodiac I invoked the name of the Great Axolotl, a being of second chances. They allowed me and Fordsy to start again, if we went through therapy. We struggled through that hellhole and our final task is to learn empathy from sadsacks like you.’

Most of this went over Mabel’s head, but Dipper seemed to take a lot more of it in.

’You’re saying you went to therapy? And are stuck with us for some weird “hands-on” session?!’

Dipper pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to calm down. Bill chuckled a little, the kid had clearly gotten the habit from Ford.

’Alright, Stanley, ya got a place for me and Ford to stay?’

Stan rolled his eyes.

’Ford’s old room hasn’t really been touched. But if you think I’m going to let you share the room you’re dead wrong. I don’t need to hear creaking while I’m trying to sleep.’

Ford’s eyes bulged. Bill just laughed.

’STANLEY-‘

Ford hasn’t heard Stan’s teasing in over 4 years. He’s have to get used to it, which he was not looking forward to.

‘Anyways Poindexter, your little demon boyfriend can sleep on the couch out here.’

Stan jutted his thumb to the living room. Ford groaned.

’Fine, if it puts your old soul at ease.’

He hissed. Stan laughed.

’We’re the same age doofus.’

Ford shook his head.

’I stopped aging the day Bill gave me this form. Sorry pops, you’re 4 years older now.’

Stan was not pleased with this revelation and Ford decided to leave him to his thoughts. He went off to see if his room truly was untouched. Bill was left looking a little uncomfortable infront of the kids and a spiralling Stan.

’So… Do you still have your powers?’

Mabel’s curiosity has gotten the better of her as she questioned the former god. Bill laughed, and his hand caught up in a blue flame.

’Some of them. Good ol’ Frills took away most though. I can still float, make objects appear, read Fordsy’s mind, change my outfit at will, set stuff on fire and materialise confetti poppers to scare the crap out of old people.’

Mabel’s eyes basically had stars in them. She has just found her new partner in crime! Dipper cleared his throat loudly.

’AHEM, have you forgotten this is the dream demon that tortured us all summer?’

Mabel put her hand out and flopped it against his face.

’Oh cmon, he’s harmless!’

Bill gave an impossibly wide grin, showing off his pointed teeth. Dipper yelped.

‘This summer’s gonna be great!’

She exclaimed, punching Bill’s shoulder in her excitement. Dipper looked quite pale.

Chapter Text

Ford continued be distant from his former family, only ever truly interacting with Bill. It seemed like this would become a habit if his. “Whenever in a situation you don’t like, refuse to talk to anyone and cling to your muse.” That seemed pretty accurate.

Bill on the other hand was much more lively than he was in the Theraprism. Mabel and him had taken a liking to each other and pranking annoying customers at the Mystery Shack. Mabel had also been the only one to trust or talk to the new residents. She had even tried to bond with Ford for a little, and even though the man didn’t hate her, he still didn’t talk.

Unlike with the others, Ford didn’t talk to Mabel out of guilt rather than resentment. He felt bad about what she had to go through. She always had that chaotic appeal that reminded Ford of his muse so much.

One day, Mabel’s friends came over for a girl’s night. Bill had been delighted to formally meet Grenda and Candy, after all, he felt as though Weirdmageddon didn’t count. The girls had been equally delighted to have a willing subject for their makeup practices.

Bill sat cross-legged as the teenage girls powdered his face. Once his face and nails was finished, the girls allowed Bill a look in the mirror. He looked great! The girl’s makeup had improved significantly from when they had to use Dipper as a subject.

Bill checked his nails that were painted a beautiful matte black with little golden triangles near the bottom. After bedazzling his face and hands, the girls decided he needed a cute outfit as well.

’Cmon Bill, show us your wardrobe!’

The girls giggled as Bill snapped through outfit after outfit. Suddenly Mabel squealed.

’THAT ONE! That’s one’s perfect!!’

The one Bill had landed on was a black crop-top with a fishnet undershirt that went out to his wrists. He had a golden-yellow leather miniskirt that glittered in a certain light and studded black boots with chunky heels. Mabel suddenly ran off.

’I’ve got the perfect sweater to match!’

She giggled as she ran back in, showing off a cropped black sweater with a yellow triangle in the centre. Bill snapped his fingers and the sweater appeared on his chest flawlessly, as to not ruin his makeup.

‘We’ve got to show Fordsy!’

Bill giggled along with the other girls as they left the attic. It was getting late outside so Ford had decided to grab a coffee in order to stay awake. He was wearing his usual deep brown coat but had a baggy shirt underneath and sweatpants. The second his eyes lay on Bill his cheeks flushed a deep pink.

’B-Bill?’

Ford could see his glasses fogging up as he heard the girl’s giggles from the stairs. He sighed, still flustered. He wiped his glasses as he looked at his muse.

’What… Are you wearing makeup?’

’Uh huh, and I look fabulous.’

Bill struck a silly pose, showing off the work the girls had given him.

’I never said you were anything less, my muse.’

He took a sip of his coffee, knowing that line would get the girls in the other room excited. His mind began to wonder before Bill snapped him out of his thoughts.

’Gee Sixer, y’know I can read your mind right?’

Ford hadn’t even noticed that he was thinking about… less than appropriate things with an audience of minors in the other room. The realisation did not lessen his blush.

’Anyways Sixer, me and the girl’s were going to head out to the convenience store for some midnight snacks, want anything?’

Ford tried to calm himself down a little.

’Uh, just a Chuckles Bar, if you can find one.’

Bill nodded, winking (or did he blink? Can you wink with one eye?) before making his way back to inform the girls of Ford’s flustered state. Ford could hear their excited squealing already.

Bill had to stop the girls from screaming the whole neighbourhood awake. He shushed them before grabbing the keys Stan had left on the table.

’Cmon, I’ll drive you girls to the convenience store and you can squeal all you want on the way.’

They complied, much to Bill’s relief. Stan was grouchy enough with sleep, he did not want to see the man without it. As they clambered into the car Bill did not own, Mabel started to ask about Bill and Ford.

’Have you guys kissed?’

’Yes.’

’Have you guys… confessed your feelings?’

’Yeees.’

Bill drew out the word, trying to make his simple response a little more interesting.

’Have you guys… y’know…’

Mabel waggled her eye brow. Bill rolled his eye.

’I don’t think Sixer would like it if I answered that question.’

Mabel giggled.

’That means yes. Aw I’m so happy for you guys!’

Bill chuckled as he pulled into the driveway of the gas station. The lights were shockingly bright for how late it was.

’Hey Shooting Star, you haven’t asked the big question yet.’

Mabel cocked her head.

’Which is…?’

Bill laughed, shaking his head. He teased her a little, ruffling her hair.

’Nah, you wouldn’t want to know.’

’Oh my god Grunkle Bill! TELL ME!’

In her excitement Mabel didn’t notice that she had called Bill her Grunkle. He smiled warmly at her, not one to point it out.

’You haven’t asked if me and Fordsy are married.’

Mabel’s. Jaw. Dropped. The girls in the back giggled even more than usual.

’You’re… Married?’

Bill slowly nodded, just adding more suspense. Mabel squealed so loud even Bill’s ears hurt.

’GAH- Kid, we’re in a small space, SMALL SPACE!’

He yelled as he slammed his hands over his ears, a desperate attempt to not go deaf.

’OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! SHOW ME THE RING!!!!’

’Only if ya shut up for a second kid.’

Mabel stopped her cacophony of excitement. Bill sighed, relieved his ears were no longer being attacked. With a snap, Bill’s marital ring appeared. It slid onto his left hand as though it had done so a billion times. Mabel inspected it carefully. There was a small hand with six fingers imprinted on the front. The same one that used to be on the journals.

’This is so cute! How come you never wear it?’

’Cuz I don’t think Pine Tree or Stanley are ready to know. Wouldn’t want the old geezer to have a heart attack.’

Mabel nodded. Candy giggled.

’Yeah, I don’t think Mabel’s Grunkle likes you very much Mr Bill.’

Bill nodded, giving Candy a fist bump.

’See? You guys get me.’

They giggled again.

’So we’re the only people you’ve shown?’

Bill nodded.

’You, Candy, and Grenda are my girls. If you can be trusted with my makeup, you can be trusted with this.’

’So, where’s Ford’s?’

Bill laughed.

’Haven’t you noticed it? He keeps it on his desk in the lab. The little gold infinity? That’s his ring. If ya look closely it even has a little me carved into it!’

Mabel couldn’t keep the smile off her face, and neither could the girls.

’Thats so romantic! Why’s it an infinity though?’

’It’s in the name, “Sixer”. His extra finger is also a ring finger, so why not put his ring on both?’

’THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE.’

Grenda exclaimed, always yelling.

’Y’know, I got the idea from this alternate version of myself! He wouldn’t stop yapping about how happy he was with his Ford. The rando wouldn’t shut up!’

Bill slapped his hand over his mouth, his eyes widening in sarcastic shock.

’Is that what I sound like? Oh boy I don’t want to be THAT annoying!’

Mabel shook her head, still giggling.

’Nuh uh, you’ll never be annoying! At least not to us.’

’Thanks kid.’

Bill put his finger to his chin, thinking.

’Wait a minute, technically Fordsy’s my fiancé. We never did have a wedding ceremony.’

Mabel looked as though she was going to burst.

’EEEEE! Grunkle Bill, I swear to you that by the end of this summer you and Grunkle Ford will have had the perfect wedding.’

‘I’ll hold you to that.’

Bill ruffled her hair again. He opened his door and walked around to the other side of the car, opening the doors for both Mabel and her friend’s in the back.

’Ok, who’s ready to ransack this joint?!’

’US!’

The girls squealed, running into the store with such enthusiasm that Bill felt bad for the underpaid workers who would have to deal with them.

Chapter Text

Ford lay his hand on his forehead as he tried to overcome the ringing in his ears. The small case of tinnitus held his attention while he tried to stand up and grab his glasses. He had barely slept, per usual, and the insomnia was weighing on him a little. He began to wonder if the Axolotl took Bill’s ability to give him energy.

When he got up he made a beeline to the kitchen. Grabbing the first cup he could reach, Ford stuffed it into the sink and turned on the tap. Water flowed over his hands as the cup became too full, drenching the sleeves of his night shirt.

‘Jeez Sixer… Still having issues sleeping?’

Ford nodded absentmindedly, not fully registering what his brother said. Also that his brother was speaking to him. After chugging the cup, along with some unflattering gulps, he realised Stan’s cold shoulder had warmed.

’Stanley, what do you want? Why are you talking to me?’

Stan rolled his eyes.

’Oh cmon, Poindexter, do I really need a reason to talk to my own brother?’

Ford’s tired gaze moved down, avoiding eye contact.

’Listen Ford, I think you need to stop hanging out with that boyfriend of yours. Not everyone has an ulterior motive.’

He knew it was just a joke but Ford prickled a little at the jab.

’If you want to talk to me then don’t insult my mu-‘

’Your “muse”? Y’know, that weird disciple with benefits relationship you have with the triangle is just weird.’

Ford slapped his cup down onto the counter.

’DAMN IT STAN-‘

Stan put his hands up, reproaching.

’Sorry, sorry. I really do want to talk, it’s just… I’m worried about you and Cipher. Even if you betrayed me, you’re still my brother. If the three-sided jerk treats you wrong.’

Stan shook his fist in the air. Ford laughed and rolled his unscarred eye.

’Please Stan, I’m happy with Bill.’

His brother sighed but didn’t push it. His mouth turned into a line as he watched Ford’s face.

’I… I still can’t get over that- scar? How did you even get it? What happened when you disappeared?’

Ford shrugged off his brother’s concern.

’Not much. Bill made a deal with the Great Axolotl and spared both his and my life. Then, we were admitted to the Theraprism.’

He wondered for a moment if he should share the stories he gathered for actually being inside the Theraprism, but decided against it. After all, Stan didn’t need to know the fights he started and the nights he spent in solitary. He had done all that to defend Bill, and he wasn’t going to stop. Ford was loyal and liked helping his muse.

’Yeah, but how did you get the scar?’

Ford looked down again.

’I don’t know. I think it was the beam of light because Bill got a scar too. Or maybe it’s where the Axolotl extracted our powers.’

The moment of silence was a little prolonged, but Ford eventually went to the fridge. Grabbing a plastic jug of easy-make pancake batter. He put it in the sink and began to fill it with some water.

’Want to help me make breakfast Stan?’

’Nah, I’m fine right here Poindexter. Wanna… keep talking though?’

Stan seemed nervous and Ford couldn’t blame him. They hadn’t talked since… Weirdmageddon.

’Sure Stan. Anything specific in your mind?’

He turned on the stove and set a clean pan on the counter. He stirred the batter inside the plastic container and poured it in a small circular blob.

’Kinda. Ok, here’s my big question Ford. Are you even human anymore? Cuz that black goop leaking from your face says otherwise.’

Ford clapped his hand onto his cheek and felt the liquid under his six-fingers. It stuck to his fingers a little, but the quiet sizzle didn’t bother him. He hadn’t even noticed it until Stan pointed it out.

’Oh. Well, I think I’m human but Bill says the powers he gave me made me a “muse” as well. I know that whole muse shtick was just a front from back in the day. Maybe he meant it in reference to our little nickname, but I can’t be sure. Being a muse might make me inhuman. The closest thing I can think of that would describe my new form would be a demonic entity.’

Stan ignored most of his overcomplicated words and yapping, but listened to that final sentence.

‘You’re a demon? You have to be joking, I don’t have a DEMON for a brother, do I?’

Ford shrugged, laughing a little.

’I guess you do. But hey, powers are useful!’

As a show of his abilities, Ford snapped and a spatula appeared in his hand. Ford pushed the sides of the pancake into a triangular shape, imitating his muse. He cooed a little at Bill’s image. Stan scoffed.

‘Someone’s boy crazy.’

Ford flipped the pancake, beginning to cook the other side. Stan chuckled.

’Can ya do that conjuring thing with money too?’

Ford basically heard the “cha ching” noise going off in his brother’s head.

’No. It needs to come from somewhere, and before you even ask I’m am NOT stealing for you. I’m meant to be in rehab.’

Stan rolled his eyes.

’Worth a shot, goody two shoes.’

Then Ford suddenly felt arms wrap around his waist. Ford yelped in surprise, startled by the contact of familiar hands.

Chapter Text

One night ago…

Bill returned from the positively insane journey to the convenience store and flopped down on the floor of the twin’s room. Mabel poked him while the other girls clambered into their sleeping bags, arms overflowing with snacks and sugar.

‘Are you gonna sleep here or with Ford?’

She asked. Bill rolled over so he could face her. He smiled and snapped his fingers. He was suddenly in his pyjamas (black with yellow stripes) snuggled into a cushy blanket.

’I’ll sleep on the floor kid. By the way, where’s Pine Tree?’

Mabel rolled her eyes, sighing dramatically.

‘He’s sleeping in Grunkle Stan’s room.’

Bill chuckled a little, shaking his head.

’Ya think he’d warm up to me in the week that I’ve been here.’

Mabel giggled and jumped into her own bed.

’Good night Grunkle Bill!’

’G’night kid.’

Bill turned over so his face was cushioned by the pillow he had conjured. Something was sticking in his head. “In the week that I’ve been here”… week? Bill had forgotten the Axolotl’s promise. They were going to have weekly sessions.

Bill cursed quietly under his breath, hoping the girls wouldn’t hear.

Bill had a hunch that Ford would NOT be happy in the morning.

* * *

After the late night last night Mabel’s friends were ready to go home. Bill helped them pack up their things and they left, hugging Mabel goodbye. Bill ruffled her hair and she giggled.

They wondered to the kitchen, lead by a smell of sweet maple syrup. Ford was standing by the stove, flipping a frying pan full of pancake batter. Mabel went to sit down at the table, which Bill now noticed Stan was sitting at. Apparently the two had made up.

Bill sauntered up to stand next to Ford, who hadn’t noticed him yet. Still half-asleep, Bill leaned on him, hugging him from behind. Stan nearly choked on his coffee and a startled Ford jumped at the contact. The half cooked pancake in his pan flipped into the air and landed promptly on Bill’s head.

The fluffy slab of sugar was triangular. Bill chuckled.

‘Even when cooking you can’t stop thinking of me! I thought pancakes were meant to be circles.’

Mabel laughed while Ford’s face turned a deep crimson red as Bill’s arms wrapped around him. Stan was still wiping the coffee from his chin.

Bill’s long purple tongue stuck out of his mouth and stretched unnaturally far to touch the pancake, quickly pulling it back to his mouth and swallowing it in one gulp.

’Hmm… It’s a little undercooked.’

Bill noted as Ford chuckled. The man reached up and picked the little globs of pancake batter out of Bill’s hair, licking his finger once he was done. It was now Bill’s turn to blush. Stan gagged.

’Aw cmon, I’m trying to eat here!’

He complained as the couple chuckled. Bill moved his arms down to Ford’s waist so he could continue cooking. Bill did not leave until all the pancakes were finished and plated.

When Ford went to sit, Bill stopped him and pulled out his chair.

’Ladies first.’

He teased. Ford rolled his eyes and sat, his hand reaching up behind him to cup Bill’s face. Bill kissed his palm before setting it back down and sitting next to his human. Stan continued to make gagging noises.

’Stanley, don’t be rude.’

Ford lectured half-heartedly, finding Stan’s fake disgust amusing.

’Yeah yeah Sixer, next time get a room.’

This whole time Mabel was cooing quietly. Once the talk died down and everyone started to eat, she spoke up.

’Grunkle Ford, Grunkle Bill’s told me about-‘

She made a face and moved her eyebrows up and down a few times. Ford looked to Bill with a confused face, with a little bit of anger. Bill put his hands up defensively when he read Ford’s mind.

’HEY, I don’t tell kids about what we do in the privacy of our own room. She’s talking about something else IQ.’

Ford relaxed a little and Stan laughed. Mabel’s continued, unhindered by Ford’s misunderstanding.

’I want to know everything but Grunkle Bill says I’m not allowed to tell Grunkle Stan.’

She began to shoo the grown man out of the kitchen. He complained a little but eventually got out. Mabel was back to her bursts of excitement.

’Bill told me that you two are engaged! I wanna know the story. Who proposed? Where was it? What was the romance score from one to a zillion? I NEED ANSWERS!’

Mabel smacked the table with her hands. Bill snapped and their rings were suddenly visible. Ford looked at Bill with a knowing glance.

’How did I know you’d tell Mabel?’

Ford’s unimpressed expression soon slipped as he sighed.

’I didn’t want to keep it a secret forever, so I guess, what the hell? It was a little before when Stan reactivated the portal. Bill and I were playing our usual game of chess, but Bill suddenly surrendered his king.’

Ford recalled the moment with a hushed admiration. Bill’s proposal was perfect by his standards.

‘Then he cracked his king open and there was a little golden infinity symbol inside.’

Mabel giggled.

’And that was the ring, right? Bill told me he gave you one with two loops!’

Ford nodded, smiling. Mabel looked at Ford, then Bill, then back to Ford again.

’You two are so CUTE! You have to let me plan your wedding!’

Ford looked back to Bill, a little frustrated.

’You told her we weren’t married officially, didn’t you?’

Bill nodded, pecking him on the cheek as a sort of bribe to not be mad. Ford blushed and didn’t press the matter.

Stan came back into the room and Mabel started to complain. Ford stopped her, putting his hand out.

’No, Stanley needs to eat. It’s not fair to ban him from the kitchen. Bill and I are going to go watch some tv.’

Ford got up and Bill followed. Mabel grumbled a little but went back to eating.

To Ford and Bill’s surprise, they found that the couch was occupied. The Axolotl was floating passively in their living room, holding a small notepad.

’Ah, Ford and Bill. Shall we start our session?’

Ford, formerly very talkative, shut like a clam. Bill knew his human didn’t like therapy, and Bill tried to comfort him during the sessions. The Theraprism had worked relatively well on Bill and the dream demon no longer craved the taste of fear and insanity. Well, he still likes pain, but it’s a step in the right direction. Ford on the other hand had been resistant, just like he was when he had been offered therapy at a younger age.

Ford shook his head, speaking only one word.

’No.’

The Axolotl tilted its head, looking to Bill to elaborate. Bill sighed and read his partner’s mind. Ford was thinking angry thoughts, mainly about therapy, but when he noticed his muse was looking he stopped and explained why he had said no.

”No because I don’t want to kids overhearing. They don’t need to know my past or the crap I’ve done.” Ford’s thought was directed at Bill, who nodded.

’Fordsy doesn’t want to do it here. Maybe we could do this in the woods?’

The Axolotl nodded and gestured to the door. They all got up and went to leave when Dipper came down the stairs. He looked at the three of them.

’Whats going on?’

He asked, rubbing his eyes. Ford answered, frustration in his tone.

’We have our weekly therapy session. Bill and I will be back later.’

Dipper nodded and left to find Mabel. The Axolotl hummed to itself and began to write on the notepad. Ford groaned. Of course the overgrown fish would record his interactions with family. Ford went back to being deadly silent.

The Axolotl led them into the trees, floating just low enough that the branches couldn’t snag their frills. Bill held his arm in front of his face, attempting to shield himself from some of the rogue foliage.

’Now Mr Pines, is this location better?’

Ford nodded, still refusing to talk. The Axolotl smiled and sat midair. Bill opted to sit cross legged in the undergrowth, grabbing the bottom of Ford’s coat and tugging him down to join him. Ford complied without much struggle, not bothered to stand.

’Well, from the interactions I’ve observed between you two and the Pines have been very positive. You seem to be reacting better to living with them, rather than at the Theraprism.’

The Axolotl chuckled and Ford was reminded of a few incidents. Like the time Ford had threatened and attempted to strangle one of the patients because they had mentioned Bill’s homeworld. Apparently Patient 185 had been in a nearby galaxy and saw… Well, when they talked about it in therapy Bill didn’t react well and Ford decided to force them to stop. He had been awarded solitary for a week after that.

The Axolotl continued to speak.

’Do either of you have anything specific you want to discuss or should I move onto the planned session?’

Bill shook his head and Ford didn’t say anything. The Axolotl jotted down another line of notes before speaking again.

‘Alright, let’s start with Bill. Do you still believe you “freed” your home dimension?’

Oh. Even if Bill was reacting well to the rest of therapy, he still had improvements to be made about his past. Ford could feel Bill’s shoulders shake.

’Yes.’

He muttered, confidence mangled with doubt. Bill didn’t look up, Ford sighed and put his arm around him. The Axolotl continued to write notes.

’Do you feel bad for the citizens you “freed”? Do you regret anything at all? Perhaps what happened to your parents?’

‘No.’

Ford felt Bill shut off his mind, not allowing Ford to view his thoughts any longer. Before the wall came up though, he could feel the ache of denial.

’I see. While Ford is here to learn empathy, I believe it will be helpful for your rehabilitation if we discuss Bill’s homeworld at the same time. After all, Bill needs to empathise with the Euclidians-‘

When the Axolotl spoke the last word Bill’s mind suddenly opened up again and Bill was asking for comfort. Ford held him tighter.

’I don’t think Bill’s ready for that.’

In his concern the black liquid began to gush down his face passively. Ford muttered, but the Axolotl could hear him. They continued to write but answered Ford.

’I’m sorry, but Bill’s struggle with the second dimension is the only thing holding him back from being ready to rejoin society. If he refuses to face it with me, then he will have to face it with you.’

Bill stiffened. The Axolotl waved its hand in the air, as if to dismiss the topic.

’I’ll leave that choice up to you. But, let’s continue the session.’

Ford groaned. This was going to be a long afternoon.

Chapter Text

After the therapy session Ford wanted a break. Bill wasn’t in the mood to be around other people so he had retreated into Ford’s room to be alone, leaving Ford in the gift shop. He’d decided to take a look at his old lab and see what Stan had done to it in the 4 years we was in therapy.

Ford’s lab was destroyed and the room was now used as a sort of second living room. This didn’t really bother him, but many specimens of his had been either released or shoved into boxes. Ford’s study on the other hand, was left untouched, much like his old room. It seemed as though Stanley was afraid of all the images of Bill.

The artifacts were also preserved, the holographic pyramids and golden statues still shining and blinking tantalisingly in the light. The tapestries still hung from the walls in a shrine-like manner. Ford began trying to salvage what little research and notes he had left from his multiple journals.

Stan knocked on the elevator door.

’There ya are Sixer! I was looking around for you upstairs but I should’ve checked here first. Where else would your fanboy ass be other than worshipping that triangle.’

Ford didn’t pay any attention to Stan’s teasing.

‘Oh shut up Stanley. Why are you looking for me? Need anything?’

’Yeah, I’m just going to go hit the town. I want you to make sure the kids don’t burn the house down.’

Ford was surprised Stan trusted him enough to leave him alone with Mabel and Dipper. Ford was by far more responsible, but he could understand if there was hesitation.

’Are… Are you sure Stanley?’

’Yeah why not? You’re pretty trustworthy Poindexter. Besides, it’s not like you can do any real damage.’

Stan got him in a sloppy headlock. He was going to ruffle his brother’s hair but soon he found himself pinned down on Ford’s desk.

’Sure about that Stanley?’

Ford chuckled and released his brother. Stan rubbed his wrists as he rolled his eyes.

’Show off.’

’It’s only showing off if you can’t do the same.’

The challenge was short lived. In his struggle Stan knocked over one of the golden statues of Bill. Ford basically leapt off of his brother to catch it and place it gingerly back onto stable ground. Stan scoffed.

’I can’t believe you stopped thinking about Bill for a second! That has to be a record.’

Ford punched his brother’s arm playfully.

’Just because I’m in love doesn’t mean I think about Bill every second.’

’OOOH! You finally admit the lovey dovey feelings ya got for the literal mathematic symbol. Wait a minute, it all makes sense!’

’Its geometric symbol, not mathematical. Seriously if you want to tease me at least use the proper terms.’

After the harmless bickering Stan and Ford gave it a rest.

’Alright, I gotta go now Sixer, look after the kids while I’m gone.’

* * *

It was about 3am when Bill slipped into Ford’s room. Stan had kept his promise and made sure the two slept in separate rooms, but he was “out on the town” (Stan’s words not his), so Bill had decided to sneak in. Ford wasn’t asleep, as per usual, and was instead reading a book. The second the sliver of light came from his door Ford looked up.

’Bill?’

His muse came in, sitting cross-legged on the bed. Ford chuckled as Bill wrapped his arms around Ford’s waist, pulling the two closer.

’Oh Fordsy, I’ve missed seeing you in bed, I can’t believe Stan tried to keep us apart like we’re horny teenagers.’

Bill trailed his hand down his human’s chest. Ford chuckled, pecking Bill on the cheek. Both of their faces became a little hot as a result of the contact. Suddenly, Bill crushed his lips onto Ford, entangling them in a passionate kiss. Bill cupped Ford’s face as the two made out, tongues pushing against each other aggressively.

* * *

The next morning Stan had come back (sometime around 5). Boy, was it a shocker for him seeing Bill half naked in his brothers bed. All he had wanted to do was ask if Poindexter wanted anything specific for breakfast! Instead, he had ended up yelling at Bill as the demon quickly dove further under the covers and Ford’s face turned a deeper shade of red with each passing second.

’Damn it Bill, ya couldn’t keep your hands off him while I was gone?! I swear if the kids heard you-‘

’Oh calm down Stanley, the kids didn’t hear shit-‘

The man was far too angry to hear them now. Bill just rolled his eye at the obvious overreaction.

’Come on Poindexter!’

Bill was cackling under the covers. Ford rubbed his eyes as he tried to wake up a little more. Between Bill’s cackles Stan could hear him speak.

’What’s up your ass this morning Stanley?’

’Nothing, but apparently you’re up Ford’s!’

Bill just kept laughing. Ford looked as red as the hat on Stan’s head as he shooed Stan out of his room. But, in order to do that he had to get up and walk over to his brother. Ford quickly pulled his turtle neck off the floor and over his head.

’J-Just get out.’

Ford pinched the bridge of his nose as he shut the door on Stan. He was trying to control his flushed face when he felt Bill kiss his cheek from behind him.

‘He’s just worried IQ. It’s fine.’

Bill reassured him but Ford just shook his head.

’No, we should’ve done that. He trusted us to be alone and we… Well…’

Ford rubbed the back of his neck, recalling the events of last evening. Ford felt a hand run up his chest as Bill read his thoughts.

’Don’t think about that unless you want to relive it.’

Bill’s voice was breathy and Ford immediately put his hand over Bill’s mouth.

’Nope nope, none of that.’

Bill giggled.

’C’mon Fordsy, let’s join your brother in the kitchen, I’m starving!’

Chapter Text

A knock at the door interrupted the family’s awkward meal. Ford leapt at the opportunity to get away from the table, so he went to answer the door.

’Hello- Fiddleford?’

Ford gazed down at the man who looked far older than he truly was. Ford immediately felt guilty about what he had said at Weirdmageddon.

‘Hello Stanford. I heard you were back in Gravity Falls.’

He didn’t speak coldly, but it wasn’t exactly friendly either. When Bill came to see why Ford had left him with Stan, he looked shocked to see McGucket at the door.

’Uh, kids? I think the hillbilly’s for you guys.’

Bill stood beside Ford, holding his human’s waist as he looked at Fiddleford, the hold almost possessive. Ford doesn’t like that Bill’s getting… territorial.

’I’m not ‘ere for the kids, you equilateral devil.’

Ford sighed, pulling McGucket’s attention away from Bill as he avoided eye contact and quickly apologised.

’Fiddleford, I know I said some awful things to you during Weirdmageddon… But I was hoping you could forgive me. I’m on the path of rehabilitation and I’m working to get better.’

His old partner seemed to take this apology into account before speaking again.

’I… I’ve tried forgetting… So I guess I’ll give forgiving a go.’

Ford smiled, taking his old partner into a hug. The hillbilly returned the hug, though a little hesitant. Bill watched the scene, and should’ve been happy. But he couldn’t shake the feeling of jealousy. Bill hadn’t forgotten the hillbilly’s feelings for Ford, and he doubted the hillbilly had lost them either. McGucket was a little too close.

When their embrace finally ended Bill cut in.

’Hey Fordsy, tell me when you’re done catching up with your old “friend”.’

He purposefully put emphasis on the word, outlining it for the hillbilly. He was Ford’s FRIEND. Bill was Ford’s MUSE. Bill solidified the statement with a simple kiss. Ford leaned into Bill’s touch for the smallest moment until Bill moved away again.

’Don’t take too long, Sixer.’

There. That really sent his message. And with that he went back to Stan and the kids. But, of course, he would check in on Ford’s thoughts every now and again. Had to keep tabs on the hillbilly, after all.

Ford looked back to McGucket as he rubbed the back of his neck.

’Ignore him. Bill’s strangely… protective sometimes.’

Ford welcomed McGucket into the house.

’It’s been so long, old friend. What… what’s inspired you to come visit?’

The two talked for a while, mainly making up for lost time. Bill skimmed through Ford’s thoughts. He wasn’t looking for anything disloyal, Ford would never choose the hillbilly over him! He was just… frustrated that Ford was paying so much attention to McGucket. The jealousy was making Bill’s form glitch a little, the rim of his visible eye glowing red. Bill was looking at the questions Ford wanted to ask when he got distracted by Mabel.

’Grunkle Bill!’

The glitching stopped for a moment.

’What are you doing?! I know jealousy when I see it! Do you think McGucket’s trying to steal your man? You need to get in there!’

Mabel’s eyes narrowed, the solemn attitude paralleled by her usual silliness. Bill chuckled, distracted from his silent rage for a moment.

’Oh Mabel, you’re always in my corner.’

Bill laughed quietly and ruffled her hair.

’But I can’t isolate Ford, especially not from the hillbilly. Even if the two left on bad terms, Ford strangely likes the man.’

The teenage girl giggled and escaped Bill’s grasp.

’Alright then. Maybe talk to him after, just clear some stuff up if you’re feeling weird about anything.’

Bill nodded. That made sense. Maybe he could scare sense into Fiddleford! After all, the man was already quite skittish. He wouldn’t do anything horrifyingly traumatic, but he would definitely set the old man straight on where he stood with Ford.

Mabel walked away, thinking she had just suggested that Bill talk with Grunkle Ford. Instead, she had made a very unfortunate interaction for Fiddleford.

* * *

‘Fiddleford… I can’t express how glad I am you’ve forgiven me. I hope we can catch up again soon.’

Ford watched as his old lab partner left, and he felt a little happier. He just hoped this wouldn’t be brought up in the next therapy session.

Bill on the other hand was giddy for a very different reason. He was waiting by the trees and as soon as Ford closed the door and was out of sight, Bill showed himself to the hillbilly.

’Hey there McGucket! You seemed quite happy with Ford.’

Bill’s voice became threateningly deep.

’Like something ya see?’

Bill laughed, deciding to just tease the hillbilly instead of ḏęšṯábîḻįśįŋg the man’s sanity even further. McGucket seemed extremely uncomfortable, but Bill just continued to muse to himself.

‘Nah, who am I kidding? You couldn’t possibly be into my fiancé!’

’Fiancé? Ford’s not your fiancé…’

’Oh yes he is!’

Bill flashed his ring finger at the hillbilly, who noticed the golden loop.

’So just remember that, when you get ṯøö ÇḺØŠĖ.’

Bill snapped his fingers and poofed away, leaving McGucket with his thoughts and newfound information about Ford’s current relationship.

Chapter Text

‘Bill.’

Ford’s stern expression was waiting for Bill when he stepped back inside.

’Yes Fordsy, my love?’

Bill’s words were sweet, feigning innocence.

’You don’t have to be so passive-aggressive about Fiddleford. I think you traumatised him enough during the portal days.’

Bill cocked his head.

’You know about that?’

’Of course I do. I know he had some feelings for me… but you didn’t have to possess me to scare him shitless!’

His muse laughed, using his powers to float a little so he wouldn’t topple over in his fit of giggles. Bill knew what Ford was talking about.

It had been a long day of working on the portal so Ford had allowed himself to sleep at last. Bill took the opportunity to possess the human while he rested, taking him for a sort of joy ride. The hillbilly had been awake and still welding the metals of the portal when Bill had sauntered into the room in Ford’s body. Fiddleford had immediately stopped his work.

’Oh come on Ford, ya said ya were gonna go rest.’

The man had chuckled to himself, only teasing.

’Sorry Fiddlesticks, just couldn’t help but notice how you’ve been watching Fo- Me, lately.’

Bull quickly corrected himself before he let too much on. Fiddleford didn’t seem to notice, because he was blushing too much.

’I- I’m sorry, I guess I ‘ave been zoning out a little-‘

’Oh cut the stalling hillbilly! I know you like me~’

Ford’s grin was far too wide and his mannerism was off. Fiddleford felt unsettled by the strange action, but his face didn’t return to its normal colour. When he didn’t answer Bill, he used Ford’s body to pin the smaller man against the nearby wall. Fiddleford squeaked, alarmed.

’F-Ford!’

Bill held Fiddleford’s chin in Ford’s hands, forcing the hillbilly to look at him while he spoke. The overwhelmed man was gasping for air. After a little more teasing, Bill decided to skip to the point. With a swift, continuous movement, Bill took off Ford’s glasses and showcased his catlike eyes in the glinting light of the lab. Fiddleford shrunk back.

’W-What…’

He gulped, trying to gather his thoughts.

’What’s going on? I don’t like how you’re acting…’

’I don’t like how you’re acting either, McGucket. Stay away from Ford. He doesn’t want you.’

Bill stopped using the first person, letting the man register that this wasn’t Ford. This was something else ęnṯírêlÿ

As Bill was reminiscing over the hillbilly’s fear Ford was drumming his six fingers on his arm impatiently.

’My muse, you can’t terrorise my old colleague. I’m not going to leave you, you’ve got nothing to be jealous of.’

Bill took Ford’s hand in his, intertwining their fingers.

’I know darling, but I can’t help how much I overheard when he was working with you.’

Ford sighed and rolled his unscarred eye playfully. Bill chuckled, extending his hand. The usual blue flames were missing, and it felt a little strange to make a deal without them there.

’Lets make a deal Fordsy. I’ll allow the hillbilly to come to the shack without me getting mad, but in return you have to let me give you another marking.’

Ford knew what “markings” Bill was talking about. His muse liked to give his human little scars and bruises so Ford would see them and think of him. Ford put out his hand, shaking Bill’s.

’We’re doing this in the bathroom, I don’t want the kids to see.’

Bill nodded.

’Thats fair. We should do the bathroom with the first aid kit, just so we can clean up any mess.’

Ford nodded and the two held hands as they made their way to the bathroom.

Once the door was closed, Bill kissed his human passionately and Ford returned the gesture. When the two broke away Bill skipped over to the sink, rummaging through a few draws.

’Do you know where Stan keeps his razor?’

Bill asked, but soon after he spied the capped blade.

’Never mind!’

He took off the safety cap and the little knife blinked seductively in the even light. Bill put it down on the counter and turned on the tap, the white noise would cover any noises Ford would make. Ford sat cross-legged on the floor with a towel beneath him. Bill giggled, delighted.

’Take off your shirt handsome.’

Bill instructed and Ford complied.

’Where ya want it?’

Ford thought for a moment, then settled on an answer.

’Shoulder blade would probably be best, just don’t hit any vital muscles please.’

Bill rolled his eye and went to sit behind him, holding the razor up to Ford’s exposed skin. As the blade cut in the blood welled up underneath the silver. Ford grunted so Bill comforted him with a little bit of praise.

’Good job Fordsy, just stay still.’

Bill began to carve ancient letters into the man’s back. He was careful not to hit anything important while he made the outline. More blood pooled and flowed, and Bill dabbed the liquid away with the towel he had on hand. More slices and incisions later, the bloody message was complete. It was in Bill’s native tongue and translated to “Property of Cipher” with a little heart at the end.

The crimson liquid covered the top of Ford’s back, concealing the finer details of his handiwork under the scabbing. Bill rubbed most of the access away, and applied some disinfectant spray. Ford hissed a little at the sting, but ultimately stayed still through the whole ordeal. After bandaging up the wound Bill kissed the side of Ford’s shoulder.

’Good boy Sixer. Now cmon, I’m sure someone’s wondering where we are.’

Bill waggled his eyebrow, and Ford knew he was talking about Mabel.

Bill patted Ford’s head, ruffling his soft hair a little. Ford was wincing and Bill found the expression ḏėḻįčïøūś. After cleaning up the mess of blood on the towel, Bill helped Ford pull his shirt back on.

* * *

It was about the afternoon now and Dipper was laying on the couch in the living room.

’Did you guys here the tap running? It went on for a while…’

He noted, looking up at the two men. Ford shrugged, but winced as the fabric of his shirt rubbed against the bandages.

’Are you ok Ford?’

Dipper still refused to call Ford his Grunkle, so he kept using his first name. Bill put his hand on Ford’s good shoulder.

’Ford’s just having old man problems, back pain and what not.’

Ford rolled his eye and poked Bill playfully.

’You’re a trillion and twelve, don’t call me old.’

’Sorry Sixer, even if ya stopped aging, you’re still a fossil.’

Dipper yawned at their banter and went to get a Pitt Cola. Bill teased him more and Ford ignored his muse. Stan came in soon after, looking at Bill was an unamused expression.

’Why is there a bloody towel in the laundry basket? Bill I’m looking at you.’

Ford turned to look at Bill, who was chuckling. “You just put it in the basket? Didn’t even cover it?” Ford thought anxiously at his muse. Bill shook his head and Stan interrupted their internal conversation.

’Hey, I know you’re talking to each other with your minds! Just tell me why there’s a bloody towel in our hamper.’

Ford tried to put his hands up defensively, a gesture normally used to calm someone down, but he winced as his wound was brushed against. Stan noticed this and started to connect the dots.

’Damn it Ford, did you hurt yourself?’

Ford tried to deny it, but Stan had already crossed the room and started to check for injuries. After poking and prodding for a moment, Stan’s finger landed on his shoulder, earning a pained hiss from his brother.

’HĘŸ! Watch it Stanley, don’t go damaging my property.’

Bill warned teasingly but Stan just continued to look at Ford’s shoulder.

‘Ford you’re getting too old for monster hunting.’

’Oh calm down, it wasn’t a monster.’

Ford tried to reassure Stan but he just stopped and looked at his brother, more concerned than ever.

’Then what was it?’

He looked at Bill, who he now noticed, had some dried blood under his nails. Stan tugged his brother into the kitchen, wanting to talk to him in private.

’Damn it Sixer, I told you if that dream demon treated you wrong I would make him pay. What did he do?’

Ford shook his head, denying his brother’s claims.

’Bill didn’t do anything, what are you talking about Stan?’

Stanley shook his head, not buying it.

’I know the triangle did something. I told you he wasn’t healthy.’

Ford batted Stan’s hand away.

’I’m fine Stanley. Just calm down, Bill didn’t do anything.’

’Then take off your shirt.’

’Pardon?’

He looked at Stan incredulously.

’I said, take off your shirt. Prove that you aren’t hurt.’

’I don’t think that’s necessary-‘

Stan grabbed Ford’s turtle neck and threw it over his head, quickly taking it off. His scars from battle, other markings from Bill and careless bruises were now exposed. Ford was a little confused on how Stan knew how to do that so effortlessly, but before he could continue the thought Stan pointed at his thoroughly bandaged shoulder blade.

‘Ford- What on earth does that triangle do to you?’

He looked at Ford’s bicep, which was covered in triangular scars. Then, he looked to Ford’s upper arm, which had messages similar to the one of Ford’s shoulder carved into the skin. More lines were on his left forearm, lines he had inflicted on himself in his younger years. He thought pain was able to keep him awake better than coffee, so he did a few tests, with himself as the subject.

The battered body of his brother severely shocked Stan as he looked at the physical damage that adorned Ford’s chest and arms. Sure, some of the scars looked inflicted by animals, but others looked too precise to be accidental. He now looked to the most recent of the wounds, which had been wrapped in quite a bit of cloth.

’Stanley, what I do with Bill is my business.’

Ford put his arms up, reasoning. Stan was far beyond that as he sprinted into the living room and grabbed Bill by the shoulders. He raised his fist, readying to punch him, but suddenly a blue light held his hand in place. A little message appeared above Bill’s head.

”This is Patient 276. You are not allowed to harm him as he is living with you for this earth year. Please respect our patient and treat him with care. Thank you. -The Theraprism”

Bill laughed but then looked over to Ford. He was surprised to see the man without his turtle neck, each of Bill’s little love markings exposed.

Mabel then walked into the alarming scene. Her jaw dropped as she looked from her scarred up Grunkle, to Stan holding Bill in a chokehold.

Chapter Text

‘Fordsy, could you please calm your brother the f- “heck” down?’

Bill reframed from swearing infront of Mabel, but Ford got the gist of it. He lunged forward and ripped Stan off of his muse.

‘Get off me Poindexter! I’m gonna show that fruity excuse for a triangle what happens when he hurts my brother-!’

Ford pushed Stan back again and quickly rushed over to Bill. They held hands as Ford checked over Bill’s neck for any signs of bruising. When he confirms Bill is nothing but a little ruffled, he turns back to look at Stan, black ooze dripped down his face, outlining his outraged expression.

’Stanley, I don’t care if you think you’re looking out for me, you can ŋøṯ lay your hands on my muse.’

Bill loved it when Ford’s voice glitched like that. It was a sign of the power they shared and the passion Ford felt for defending his god. Mabel cleared her throat loudly.

’EXCUSE me, but what the heck are you knuckleheads doing? Why is Grunkle Ford covered in symbols?’

Ford stopped for a second, blushing out of embarrassment because of his exposed body. Bill didn’t see why he was self conscious, Ford was a beautiful human specimen that was covered in Bill’s image! But nonetheless Bill still shed his coat and draped it over Sixer, who gratefully pulled it on to hide most of his scars. The jacket was a size too big, but it would do.

’Mabel sweetie, it’s nothing to be concerned about, I just had some rough times back in the dimension travelling days.’

He assured Mabel, and he could see Stan glaring (almost violently) at Bill. Mabel could see the tension between the three of them, so she quickly set to defuse it.

’Grunkle Stan, maybe we should get you some fresh air. Let’s head outside.’

Mabel grabbed her uncle before he could protest and soon both of them had left the room. Ford sighed, relieved.

’I guess that resets my progress with Fez.’

Bill rolled his eye but Ford just nodded.

’Bill… My muse, my love, the centre of my universe,’

Ford thought up all the nicknames for Bill as he could remember.

’Maybe we should stop with the markings. I love them and I know it’s therapeutic for you, but it’s alarming my family. Perhaps we could try tattoos instead?’

The compromise was reasonable and Bill agreed.

’Fine. It’s not as good because I’m not doing it myself, but I can think of a few things I want inked on that body of yours.’

Bill winked flirtatiously. Ford scoffed, blushing.

’We should get out of the house. Stanley won’t be very happy with you and he needs time to cool off.’

His muse nodded, thinking. Suddenly he burst into a small fit of giggles, laughing at a joke Ford must’ve missed.

’Whats so funny?’

He inquired. Bill had to control his laughter before he could speak coherent english.

’Shooting Star, the chaotic little creature, has introduced me to fast food. I’m ADDICTED Fordsy! Let’s go get some cheap burgers.’

Bill punched Ford’s shoulder lovingly, still chuckling to himself. Ford had only ever had fast food when he was younger, and it wasn’t the best (although that was probably due to the cheap neighbourhoods his parents would buy it in). But, if that’s what his muse wanted, Ford guessed he could give it another go.

’Sure Bill.’

’Eeeee! Fordsy, you won’t regret this! Now cmon, I’m driving.’

Chapter Text

Stan saw that conniving triangle run off giggling with his brother as he sat on the porch. Stanley was mad at them both, especially Stanford for being that stupid! He was meant to be the smart twin, yet Ford had let an interdimensional, three-sided jerk etch into his literal SKIN!

’Fuck this! If the brainiac wants to let a fucking DEMON carve symbols into his back, then FINE! He can, but I swear if he comes crying to me-‘

He spoke aloud to no one in particular, but a surprisingly accented voice answered.

’Are ya- Are ya al’ ight ‘ere?’

It was McGucket.

‘Oh, yeah I’m fine.’

Stan awkwardly stood up, kicking a nearby pebble. McGucket sat on the porch steps with him, speaking softly, his usual manic tone lost in the sombreness of the night.

’Ford ‘as a habit of pushing away the people he loves. At least, I think so…’

He looked at the shorter man, a little confused.

‘What do you mean by that?’

’I was yer brother’s best friend once. His lab par’ner.’

It seemed like he wanted to say they were more than that, but he didn’t.

’When I found out ‘bout that portal’s purpose… he wouldn’t let me help him. Kept sayin’ “his muse knew what they were doin’”, but I wouldn’t let him run. He pushed me away and pushed me ‘ard.’

Stan nodded absentmindedly, remembering the hurtful words of his brother during Weirdmageddon. McGucket had never really been someone he spoke to, even if the man had been in the town longer than he had, but Stan sometimes couldn’t help looking at him. It was strange, because before Stanley admitted he wasn’t actually Stanford, McGucket always looked at him with a confused stare, constantly looking as though he was attempting and failing to remember something.

Stan now knew the partnership the man had had with his brother. Whether that partnership was anything more than professional, he was unsure, but thinking about Fiddleford with Ford… it made him feel odd. Jealous, almost.

‘You understand why I’m mad at Sixer, right? It’s not unreasonable…’

McGucket looked at him curiously. He elaborated a little on his previous statement.

’The devil triangle used my brother as a literal canvas. His shoulder blade was bloodied and had these weird symbols carved into it. AND this isn’t an isolated incident! There were other scars too.’

Stanley was still fuming, and Fiddleford looked a little sick.

’Y’know, it took me a darn while to figure out somethin’.’

’And what’s that?’

’It’s that sometimes, when you love someone and they do somethin’ you don’t agree with, you can’t stop ‘em.’

Mcgucket fidgeted with his hands as he spoke, but his words were clear.

‘Even if ya think it’s wrong, even if it’s hurtin’ ‘em. If ya push away the things they wanna do, you push them away as well. It’s best to help them through it, give them a way to do that thing, but in a healthier environment.’

Stan listened intently. Maybe if he talked with the triangle he could reach some sort of compromise.

The two sat on that porch for a while (probably around an hour), just watching the night sky and thinking. Stan forgot about his bubbling anger towards Bill, until he heard the idiot’s stupid giggles. Ford and Bill emerged from the trees, small blue symbols floated in the air around them, eventually dissipating. Stanley assumed that Bill teleported them, or something along those lines.

’Oh Sixer, you’re getting too old to be roughing up fellow restaurant patrons!’

Ford laughed along with the demon, but his laugh was less hysterical, more hearty and down-to-earth.

’My muse,’

STANLEY HATED THAT NICKNAME. FORD ACTED LIKE BILL WAS SOME SORT OF GOD, ABOVE ALL OTHERS! IT WAS SO FUCKING STUCK-UP.

’I had a great time, but we should get you to bed. You can barely stand up on your own and you nearly burnt down three trees on your way here.’

Fiddleford looked at Ford with a longing gaze and Stan felt another stab of envy. Bill’s visible eye flicked to the short man watching his human on the porch and McGucket quickly looked away. Stan’s brow knit together, frustration clear on his face. Suddenly, he shifted to face McGucket, crushing his lips against the smaller man. When Stan pulled away Fiddleford was gasping a little, bright red around the cheeks.

It had served its purpose though. Bill was looking away from them now. Ford and Bill soon went to the other side of the Mystery Shack to enter, leaving Fiddleford and Stan alone.

’W… What was tha’ about…?’

Stan rolled his eyes, shrugging off the flustered expressions that were clear on both his and Fiddleford’s faces.

’Nothin’. Just wanted to show my brother you didn’t need him, that’s all.’

McGucket’s mind was racing, thoughts of Ford being replaced with Stan.

‘Was that the… only reason?’

He asked nervously, and Stan smirked a little, amused.

’See ya later Fidds.’

He winked, not answering McGucket’s question. And with that, Fiddleford’s brain began to tick away, cooking up feelings he thought he only felt for one man. Turns out, there was a better version of that man right in front of him this whole time.

Only now did he see it.

Chapter Text

It was late at night. Way too late at night.

Stan had gotten up to get some water when he saw Bill in the living room. The same anger from earlier resurfaced and Stan walked in, intending to yell at Bill about what he had done to his family, when he paused. On the screen was Stan’s secret favourite show. Bill noticed Stan’s entrance and quickly paused the show.

’Listen Conman, I can explain-‘

’Turn the show back on triangle.’

Bill looked at the previously angry man, but doesn’t deny the command. With a quick press of a button the show continued, the overly frilly script quietly filling the silence of the living room.

’What do you want Stanley? Did you come to harass me about what I do with Sixer?’

’Yeah, but then McGucket and I talked about it… I need to control my anger sometimes. I in NO way forgive you though.’

’You and the hillbilly ‘ay?’

Bill smirked but his eye stayed on the preposterously bright image box.

’Whats that meant to mean?’

Stan was accusing, but it wasn’t his usual, aggressive demand. It sounded more like a genuine question.

‘It means, you and Fiddlesticks got something, and if it keeps that old crack pot away from my Fordsy, then I’ll support it.’

Stanley protested to Bill’s claims, utterly offended.

’Shut your mouth Cipher. You don’t know anything about me, and I don’t need your support either way. You think I care what you think?’

’Awfully defensive there.’

’Just watch the show you antagonistic asshole.’

’Nice alliteration.’

’Nice comeback, too bad I don’t know what “alliteration” means.’

He put air quotes on the word as though it was just a few syllables Bill threw together, that wasn’t actually a real word. Bill laughed.

’Y’know, when you’re not pissed at me you ain’t too bad Stanley.’

’When you aren’t carving up my brother, you’re pretty good too, triangle.’

They watched the rest of the episode in silence. Stan was even sobbing quietly at the end.

’She deserved so much better than him.’

Bill chuckled.

’I know, right? The duchess needs higher standards.’

They gossiped a little before realising who they were gossiping to. The two sat quietly for a while, watching a few final advertisements before they both got bored and went to bed.

Before they both disappeared though, Stan stopped Bill.

’Hey, triangle.’

’What is it, Fez?’

’Stop doing that shit to my brother. I don’t care what twisted, masochistic marking kink he’s got, you’re gonna hurt him one day. Just stick to tattoos or something.’

Bill snorted.

’Fine, but only if you keep the hillbilly occupied.’

’Shut up Cipher.’

* * *

The next morning Stan was no longer at Bill’s throat. Stanford didn’t know what had happened over the night. He really hoped Bill didn’t threaten his brother, after all, his muse was quite prone to violence.

The thought of violence made his mind wander to the scarring wound on his shoulder blade. It didn’t ache because Bill used his powers to heal it (mostly) but Ford could still feel the ridged lines. It was a nice reminder of his muse, although he probably shouldn’t mention anything like that to Stanley.

When breakfast was served Bill sat next to Stan. This gave Ford a little bit of anxiety, but he soon noticed that they were excitedly whispering to each other. Ford tuned into Bill’s mind, who didn’t seem to notice or be bothered by it.

’I can’t wait for the new season. How do you think her mother will react?’

Ford listened as Bill yapped about some sort of soap opera. Honestly, he couldn’t care less what they were talking about, he just wanted Bill and Stan to be getting along.

With a contented sigh, Ford continued to eat his eggs.

Chapter Text

Bill and Stan stayed on good terms the next day and Stanford was delighted.

His brother had decided to coup the whole family (including Bill) in the living room to watch a stingy old movie he had found.

As the introduction started and the early credits flashed up on the screen Ford cuddled up against Bill. The two shared one half of the couch, with Mabel on the other half. She was quietly cooing about how cute the two looked. Dipper sat on the floor, rolling his eyes and digging elbow-deep in a bowl of popcorn meant for everyone. Stan was in his usual armchair, snorting at the bad acting. The movie was quite cliche and boring and Bill found himself dozing off before act 2 had even finished.

The room melted away from him as a voice began to whisper through white noise.

“Two of these pills…”

Who was talking? The noise cut out for a moment but the voice didn’t stop speaking.

”He’ll be fine, he just needs some help…”

Who was that? Why were they so close? Why couldn’t he ŚĘË?

His vision was thrust back into his possession as he looked out into the stars. They were beautiful, just like he remembered… Remembered from what? Loving arms-

ḺØVĮŊG?! ḺÕVÏṈG?!

Loving arms touched his side, the only thing they could touch. His side-

2Ḏ… 2 DĪMĘṈŠÏØŊÅḺ…

“Billy…? Can you still see them?”

A worried tone asked him. Without thinking, he replied.

”Yes…”

It wasn’t his voice.

WÊṈṮ HÍŠ WÅŚŊṮ HĮŚ

It was smaller and childlike. A disappointed sigh came from his…

WHÖ ÁṞĘ ŸØŪ?!

Mother. The word stung in his mind, burning a hole through his heart.

BḺÁČKĘṈĖḎ

”Here, just take these pills again, you’ll be ok…”

NØ MÓṞĒ ŊÖ MŌṞÊ

A rage built up inside him. They didn’t understand, THEY DIDNT UNDERSTAND! It was the pills taking his vision, his

FÄMĮḺŸ

was blinding him! Their PÉṞŠPËĆṮĪVĘŚ were wrong! He could ŚHØW them. The glitches took hold of his mind as he broke the barrier, reaching out to the teasing stars. A scream melted into his ears, staining them. The horrific sound came from his

MØṮHÊṞ

MOTHER

Mother

mother…

mother…?

The word lost meaning just as his world did. The tear.. it was consuming them… he couldn’t ŚṮØP ṈÒW! They had to see! SEE it! ŠÊË IT LIKE HE ḎÏḎ.

When the flames died so did his dimension. The shrill screams stopped… before they inflated two times more than audibly possible, piercing deep into his mind. A spec of dust was left, a small white glow shrouding it and keeping it apart from the ruthless stars…

BĘÂÜṮÌFÚḺ, ṞÛṮHḺÉŠŚ, ÇṞÜĒḺ ŚṮÂṞŠ

No, it wasn’t their fault… He had pushed them in. Smothered them. Forced them upon unwilling eyes.

HË WÅŠ ṮHĘ MØŊŠṮËṞ ṮØ PḺÂGŪĖ ÊÛÇḺÏḎĪÁ

A violent gasp and he was awake in a cold sweat. Ford was holding him, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. Bill continued to pant, forcing the air down his lungs.

‘They were dying-! I did it… I KIL-‘

Bill‘s eyes darted around the room. He had stopped speaking so abruptly. More ragged gasps.

‘Bill, my muse, it’s ok. I’m here.’

Ford was still laying on Bill’s chest and he hadn’t even noticed the man in his desperate panic. Ford consoled him, his voice calm as it hushed him.

’It’s ok… You’re having a panic attack, but you’re alright. I’m right here, just calm down.’

Ford’s hands gently stroked Bill’s curly hair, tucking it behind Bill‘s ear and out of his face. Finally, his breathing slowed enough that the background of the room was no longer blurred. He could see a very spooked Stan and two worried kids. Pine Tree looked as though he had just witnessed a possession, while Mabel was watching, concerned for Bill. He had utterly disturbed the whole room in his sudden panic. His family-

His breathing began to pick up again.

FÂMĮḺŸ

Bill suddenly found Ford’s face pressed against his as Ford roughly kissed him. The unexpected contact stopped Bill’s spiral almost instantly. Dipper looked even more sick than before as Ford pulled away.

’Stop freaking out. You’re fine.’

Ford continued to whisper gently in Bill’s ear. Stan (the shock starting to wear off), asked a sarcastic question.

’Does your boyfriend have panic attacks this regularly? How are you so prepared?’

Ford shook his head but answered anyway.

’Ever since a certain therapy session in the Theraprism, Bill would sometimes get these night terrors. The session talked about…’

Bill looked into Ford’s eyes, the panic apparent.

’Never mind. I don’t want him to keep spiralling.’

Ford held onto Bill. The man had issues cradling him, just due to size difference, but nevertheless he still clung to him, showing that he was right there beside Bill. His presence helped a little, but he knew that it wouldn’t be enough. Even with Ford kissing him and smothering him with love and adoration… The pain still aches, tearing through him like the fire, like the ŠṮÄṞŚ-

His heart rate had picked up again and Ford kissed him harder. The affection fogged his mind, taking him away from the unhealthy stabbing pain. The BÜṞŊ. More kisses peppered his face and he finally became distracted enough that his panic died.

‘I think I should take Bill to bed…’

He looked to Stan, who rolled his eyes.

’Yeah yeah, take him to your room, but so help me if I hear you two going at it-‘

Bill chuckled quietly. Ford stood and helped Bill get up. Bill was too big for Ford to carry to bed, so he just had to guide him there and give him a shoulder to lean on while his knees were still shaking. The anxiety left over from the panic attack hindered them a little, but eventually they made it to the room.

Laying him down on the bed, Ford sat beside him. Bill turned restlessly, refusing to stay still.

’I don’t want to sleep… I hear them… my parents. They ŠĆṞĘÅM too loud for me to rest…’

Bill’s voice glitched, just like his thoughts had in the… Dream? Nightmare? Amalgamation of his terrors and fears? The last one seemed pretty fitting of a name, but it didn’t exactly roll off the tongue. Ford put his head on Bill‘s chest, listening to his heart as each thud became more paced.

’It’s ok… Just lay here with me. I’m not going anywhere.’

Bill sighed, wrapping his arms loosely around the only being that held him grounded.

He loved Ford so much… He had loved his parents too. But the second he got too angry… It didn’t matter how much he loved someone! They still ḎÏĘḎ if they angered him… whether he liked it or not.

His breathing hitched as Ford kissed the crook of his neck.

’Your heart rate’s getting too high. Calm down, my muse. Im right here and I will never leave you. As long as we’re together I won’t let you fall.’

The reassurance only made his heart ache and thump more. Ford would never leave him. Would never let him fall.

ṟøçk-ä-bîlḻÿ… pḻėāšę ḏøŋṯ ÿøū čṟÿ…

įṯ’š ŋøṯ ÿøûṟ fäūḻṯ ÿøù hāvę ṯhâṯ šṯṟäŋgê ėÿê…

šṯãÿ śāfę wįṯh mømmÿ… ÿøúḻl ŋęvëṟ FĀḺL…

âŋḏ wê’ḻl äḻwāÿś ḺØVĘ ÿøú… šháṟp āṉgḻêś âŋḏ āḻl…

Silent tears rolled down his face. His mother’s hushed voice whispered to him.

’I love you Sixer…’

Chapter Text

Bill woke up with a strange aching lump in his throat. It felt as though he had been crying, but his face had long dried since his little breakdown. Bill tried to get up before realising Ford was clinging on his side. Bill could’ve squirmed free easily, but he didn’t want to disturb his human’s sleep. After all, Ford usually didn’t get much.

He sighed quietly, looking up at the ceiling. Bill didn’t have much to do other than lay there, but he felt a little bored. He reached out with his mind, trying to see if anyone else was up yet. He could sense Pine Tree stirring in his sleep, but there wasn’t much consciousness behind his mindless tossing. Shooting Star on the other hand, was beginning to start her day. Bill looked into her thoughts, curious about her plans for that morning.

From the thoughts he could hear, in the back of her mind Shooting Star was worrying about him. How odd. She was hypothesising about what had triggered his panic attack, and out of the kindness of her chaotic little heart, she was drafting comfort sweater designs for Bill. He had learnt that was her love language. The sweater sketch Mabel was currently mulling over had a black background and a surprisingly detailed yellow flower in the centre. Bill wondered how on earth Mabel planned to put that onto a sweater, but he didn't doubt her sewing skills.

The real issue with her choosing a design was that she didn't know the root of his anxiety. Bill knew Mabel's comfort sweaters followed a theme; a reassuring phrase and cute image relating to the problem. But, if she didn't know the problem, she couldn't put either of those things in her design.

Ford stirred, his good eye cracking open. His beautiful chocolate iris immediately caught Bill's attention, wrenching him from Shooting Star's woes.

'Bill, are you ok? You freaked out last night.'

Ford looked worried and Bill strained to remember the whole evening. All he could recall was a static and his mother's voice. And crying. A lot of crying. He cringed at the thought of his own vulnerability, how could Ford love him when he was so weak? His human's voice wrenched Bill from his own inner turmoil.

'My muse? Please answer me, I want to know how I can help you.'

'I'm fine Fordsy. Just a bad dream, that's all!'

Bill knew Ford didn't believe him, but he wouldn't pressure Bill if he didn't want to talk about it. Ford sighed, leaning against Bill a little more. His closed eye bled the strange black liquid and it trickled down his face to stain the collar of his sleep shirt. Bill reached his hand out, his thumb rubbed some of the subtance away. It sizzled harmlessly against his skin, but Ford hissed as it burned his cheek.

'Sixer, I know you're able to stop that stuff from burning you. I don't care if it takes some energy, you don't deserve to be hurting.'

Ford rolled his unscarred eye but did so nonetheless. His brow knitted together for a moment before a gasp of relief left his mouth, the black ooze no longer eating away at his nerves.

'I don't understand why you don't do that more often.'

'It's a waste of my limited power.'

Ford mumbled, snuggling closer to Bill as he listened to his heartbeat.

'But it's not a waste if it burns me?'

'Of course. You're far more important than me, I wouldn't forgive myself if you were feeling pain I could prevent.'

'You have the strangest logic Fordsy.'

Bill kissed his forehead lovingly, refusing to argue further. Ford hummed, content.

‘Say, my muse, whatever happened to the henchmaniacs? After Weirdmageddon, I assume they went back to the Nightmare Realm, and if so, wouldn’t they be in danger of being destroyed as the realm collapses?’

Ford turned over these thoughts for a moment, and before he could fret too much over Bill’s favourite minions, his muse cut in.

’Fordsy, Fordsy, calm down. You really think my henchmaniacs can’t handle themselves? They’ll be fine, besides, I’ve got some friends in dimension ,?67  who can help them out.’

Ford’s brow knit together.

’Wait… You had a perfectly viable dimension to stay in when the Nightmare Realm was doing itself in, and you chose MY dimension instead? Why?’

Bill giggled, snuggling closer to his human.

’You see, Sixer, that dimension was a last resort. It didn’t have half the things we needed to throw a killer party! And once the Nightmare Realm closed, we wouldn’t be able to travel through to your dimension as easily. So if we just went straight to yours, there would be no awkward in between stage!’

Ford rolled his clear eye.

’Admit it, you just wanted this dimension because it was my one.’

’Mayyyyybeeee~’

Bill drew out the word, mischievously booping Ford’s nose as he did so. Ford rolled his eye but there was no trace of annoyance in his expression.

’You’re so possessive, you know that?’

Bill giggled, cuddling Ford closer and resting his head in Ford’s fluffy hair.

‘Tell me something I don’t already know Sixer.’

Ford thought for a moment, trying to come up with a snarky comeback or a fact Bill wasn’t aware of, but he came back blank.

’Touché.’

Ford rolled out of the bed, the loss of contact making Bill groan. He trailed after his human, curious to what he was doing. Ford grabbed some going out clothes for both him and Bill.

’Fordsy, why are you getting those? Have somewhere special you wanna take me?’

Bill teased, but Ford just nodded.

’Well, I wouldn’t call it special, but I do think you need to get out of the house. I was thinking we could go to the bar, maybe get some drinks?’

‘That’s my kinda outing! Good thinking IQ.’

Ford continued rummaging in their closet, but Bill just chuckled and snapped his fingers. Suddenly they were both in the same clothes from when Bill wanted to dance with him during Weirdmageddon.

’Getting sentimental my muse?’

Bill pressed a quick kiss to Ford’s lips before answering.

’Nah, just like how you look in a collared shirt.’

He playfully ran his hands down Ford’s chest, emphasising the "collar" part of his statement as Ford realised that portion of the outfit was still residing. Bill laughed, before walking out of the room to grab the car keys.

Chapter Text

As Ford and Bill left the house, Ford caught a glimpse of McGucket, sitting on their living room couch with Stan. The man looked far better, no longer hunched over like a jumpy animal ready to flee. He had shortened his beard (braiding the rest) and wore normal clothes that weren’t just overalls. Fiddleford looked… healthy, for the first time in three decades.

”Good for him” Ford thought to himself, but his muse caught it. “Don’t go for the hillbilly now Fordsy~” Ford scoffed mentally and rolled his eye. “Never. I’m yours for the rest of time, right?” “Your words, not mine.”

They climbed into the car together but before Bill could get into the driver’s side and start the engine, Ford grabbed his shoulder.

‘No way in hell am I letting you drive. Even sober, you’re still a menace on the roads.’

Bill giggled and kissed Ford’s cheek.

’Suit yourself!’

He clambered into the opposite seat and threw Ford the keys. He sighed and started up the engine.

’Which bar are we heading to?’

Ford thought for a moment, thinking about what spot would accept Bill the easiest. There were two options; one, a biker joint called ‘Skull Fracture’ and two, a slightly classier one that Bill got him kicked out of during one of his “puppet hours”. Would the staff remember him from 30 years ago? Maybe.

Ford decided to play it safe and drove to the biker bar instead. Bill giggled as they pulled into the small parking lot the bar owned out front. There was a crash from inside and suddenly, in the window of the bar, a man’s face was smushed against it, being held by a much larger man. Clearly there was a fist-fight going on inside.

’Oooh~ I like this place.’

Ford snickered, before opening his door and getting out. He walked around to the other side to open Bill’s.

’What a gentleman.’

Ford placed a quick kiss on Bill’s forehead and the two went inside.

The bar seemed… rough, to put it lightly. Usually, Ford would never take his wondrous muse somewhere so misshapen, but he figured they were both going to get shitfaced anyway, not like they would be looking at much.

Bill slid onto a bar stool, and Ford took residence on the one beside him. The bartender soon came over, raising a brow at the two. Bill looked human enough, but there was definitely a kind of “uncanny valley” type of feel to his appearance. Ford hoped this wouldn’t offset the bartender too much, so he ignored the curious look of the man across from him and ordered a drink.

’Three whiskeys please.’

Bill giggled.

’There’s two of us Fordsy.’

’I know that. Why can’t I have a little extra for my first round?’

Bill scoffed, rolling his eye before tapping the shoulder of the burly man on the other side of the bar.

’Make that four whiskeys.’

He grunted in response, not caring much so long as the money came out of their pockets, not his. Bill turned to face Ford.

’So, any particular reason you chose this joint?’

’It’s the only one I’m not banned from. Although, if I recall correctly, “I” was cutting it pretty close last time I was here.’

He put heavy air quotes on the word “I” and Bill knew he was talking about when Bill would take his meat sack for a joyride.

’You know you love me.’

’Thats the issue, my muse.’

By now, the bartender was done with their drinks. The light, see-throughish brown liquid was placed in fancy-looking glasses, the rim curving out slightly. Ford thanked the man and grabbed two of the glasses, chugging one quite swiftly.

’Calm down there Fordsy! Don’t want to get smashed too fast, do you?’

Ford had gotten used to drinking a lot of alcohol. Bill liked his parties wild, and the drinks they served there were WAY stronger than just some human whiskey. He knew he could handle it.

The burn of the liquor stung numbly at the back of his throat, the familiar sensation almost satisfying. He had to stop letting Bill rub off on him, at this point Ford might as well be as much of a masochist as his fiancé.

Bill quickly followed suit, downing one of his glasses in a similar fashion to Ford. His face screwed up a little, feeling the liquid get caught slightly in his throat. Once the feeling subsided, Bill’s grin grew. His finger traced around the second glass’s rim, eye glued to the human across from him. Bill was waiting for Ford to continue with his drinks, and Ford knew Bill would be copying his next technique.

Putting on a little bit of a show, Ford gingerly sipped the liquor, holding eye contact as he did so. He felt their mental connection open up, hearing all of Bill’s thoughts about his current expression. Said thoughts, weren’t acceptable in a public setting such as this one.

Ford chuckled, focusing on not spilling anything on himself. After all, this was Bill’s favourite outfit of his.

The drinking continued, Bill mimicking Ford’s movements each time. The bartender seemed surprised as they ordered round after round. Little did he know, they wouldn’t be paying. Probably pull some memory trick on the poor man or steal from one of the other patrons to pay for their bill.

Either way, the drinks kept coming. On — about — Ford’s eighth, Bill got up. His human wasn’t at all sober anymore, wobbling a little as Bill pulled him to his feet. The music had changed a few times throughout the evening, but currently the jukebox was playing a fast, rhythmic song.

’Feel like dancing Fordsy?’

’The only thing I feel is peer-pressure.’

’Come on, it’ll be fun! Do it for your muse~’

Bill teased, and Ford — albeit, reluctantly — placed one of his hands on Bill’s hips.

’Try to keep up hot stuff!’

Suddenly, Bill manoeuvred them into the centre of the unofficial dance floor, expertly keeping his hands on Ford so no one else could even graze him.

The music reached it’s chorus and Bill quickly took the lead, moving Ford to the beat, swaying quickly back and forth in a dizzy, drunken manner. Even with all the alcohol in his system, Ford kept up pretty well, even adding a few of his own moves into the mix. Bill was the ringleader though. He always was.

When the song slowed down and winded to a stop, Bill sighed, wiping some sweat from his brow. The lights of the bar made him seem like he was glowing. The look was radiant on Bill.

’Whoo, that was fun! I’m going to the bathroom, then we’re going again.’

Ford began to follow Bill, but his muse just laughed and placed a hand on his chest, stopping him from coming into the small (most likely unsanitary) bar bathroom.

’Nuh uh. If you come in here, we won’t be coming out for a long while~’

Bill teased as Ford’s face flushed. He relented, walked back to the bar.

As the night really started up, the lights dimmed and became a little more disorienting. The bar seemed to be more of a club when the sun went down.

Ford was just finishing up his most recent drink when someone sat next to him. He assumed this was Bill, due to the height and build of the man. In the drunken state and low lights, why wouldn’t he? But this man, was in fact, not Bill.

’Hey there. You look mighty fine in that collared shirt. Care for a dance?’

Ford chuckled, and the man laughed a little with him.

’Do you really have to ask?’

Ford winked flirtatiously. His scar didn’t phase the man, adding more evidence to why Ford believed he was Bill. The bar goer seemed very delighted with Ford’s response, steering him toward the dance floor with a hand placed a little too low. Ford giggled, the alcohol making his demeanour a little less proper than usual.

They swayed to the steadier song, that resembled a slow dance in a way, but with a more upbeat tone. As they swayed, the man pressed their bodies flush against each other. His face leaned down, getting extremely close to Ford’s. He smirked, playfully touching their foreheads together.

’Handsy, are we tonight?’

Ford asked teasingly, before hearing someone behind him.

’Ford, what the actual fuck?’

Shocked, Ford turned. What he did NOT expect, was to see an infuriated muse crossing his arms and giving him a death glare. Not just AN infuriated muse. HIS infuriated muse.

’Bill?’

The man Ford was dancing with held him hostage, turning them to the side so he could look at Bill better.

’Who’s this?’

The man asked, oblivious to the danger he was in. And, merely based on the look in Bill’s eye, he was in real DANGER.

’I’m Fordsy’s fiancé! And you’re Mark Whitman, but soon you’ll be a corpse!’

Bill threatened cheerily. The man (Mark, apparently) took his hands off Ford’s waist.

’How the hell do you know my name?’

Ford immediately opened the mental connection, begging Bill to pay attention to his thoughts.

”My muse! I’m so sorry, in the dim lights I thought he was you!” Ford pleaded, hoping this night wouldn’t end with red hands. “Fordsy, you know how I feel about other people ṯøûçhįṉg mÿ pṟøpëṟṯÿ.” The threat was glitched and Ford could barely pick it out from the static. The mental line suddenly crashed closed as Bill walked forward.

His muse’s skilled hands were suddenly on Mark, leading him out the door quickly, without gaining the attention of the other bar patrons.

* * *

In the cold alleyway, they had Mark on his knees with one black eye and two cuts across his face, one on his cheek and the other just above his eyebrow.

Ford sighed, holding his muse close.

’Bill, I love you, I promise to never mistake anyone else for you ever again, but please? Just for tonight, can we not have blood on our hands?’

Bill laughed.

’No way! In fact, to prove your loyalty, could you finish this bub off? I don’t want any blood on my gloves.’

Ford looked at Mark, then back to Bill. He shrugged. Sure, he didn’t exactly like the idea of murder, but he was nothing if not loyal.

‘As you wish my muse.’

Chapter Text

‘Is that blood on your knuckles?’

’Is that a hillbilly in your arms?’

’Shut up.’

’You first.’

Ford and Stan bickered in the kitchen. It wasn’t that serious of a fight, just brothers keeping each other on their toes. Bill sat down in the loungeroom, next to McGucket.

’Hiya Specs! Getting comfy with Fez?’

He greeted, albeit, a little menacingly. Fiddleford squirmed, anxious as always.

Ford and Stan soon finished up their irrelevant argument, both sitting down next to their preferred guest. Ford tried to sit with his legs draping over Bill's lap, but that attempt was short-lived. Bill turned away from Ford, huffing a little. His human had a heartbroken expression as he turned too, however, not without a sad glance over his shoulder. Stan looked over, confused.

'You two aren't as touchy as usual. Something happen?'

Ford went to open his mouth, but before he could get anything out, Bill spoke.

'Fordsy here decided to dance with some BAR-GOING LOWLIFE on our DATE!'

Ford's face flushed and he turned to face his muse, apologetic and sad like a kicked puppy that didn't know what he did wrong.

'I didn't mean to! I'd never leave you for a random stranger at a bar and you know that. It was dark, I was drunk and he looked like you.'

'Are you saying I look like a washed-up nobody?!'

'Of course not!'

'So you're saying that he was handsome then?!'

'My muse-'

'CAN IT STANFORD.'

Ford blanched and Stan's eyes became wide. Bill NEVER used his full name.

'I'll set up the couch.'

Stan said as he went to retrieve some blankets and pillows for his brother. Fiddleford went off to join him.

'Bill, it was an honest mistake, I love you. You're the centre of my world, the sun to my galaxy, the muse to my painter. Please-'

Ford opened their mental link and showered Bill in unspoken praise and adoration. Sadly, Bill was having none of it and quickly shut down their connection.

'Stanford, you're sleeping on the couch. And that's me being generous. You're lucky I don't tell the Axolotl to bring me back to the Theraprism tomorrow.'

He was bluffing. He had to be. No way his muse would break up with him over a simple drunken accident? All of Ford's abandonment issues and insecurities began to rise, suffocating his lungs and making it so he couldn't breathe. Bill sighed, taking one of his hands.

'Ford... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I'll never leave you, I don't even think I physically can. You're the only one who's ever understood me.'

Hope welled up his Ford's good eye (or was that tears? Ford couldn't tell).

'Really, it's that Mark's fault. He should know what happens when someone takes my things, but I'm quite insulted that you could mistake some bum like that for me. You're still going to be sleeping on the couch for a little while.'

He sighed.

'That's fair. Thank you for your patience with me, my muse. I love you.'

'Love you too, Sixer.'

* * *

Ford lay on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. Had he almost lost his muse? He thanked the Great Axolotl that he hadn't, but it was cutting it close. Bill was furious, and Ford couldn't blame him. How would he have reacted if he saw Bill dancing with someone else? Of course he'd be mad. It was entirely reasonable.

He sighed, wallowing in his misery at the fact that he wasn't in his muse's arms.

He heard a floorboard creak out in the hallway. Ford shot up, hands glowing a dim blue with his power, ready to defend against a possible intruder. Dipper came through the door, and Ford sighed with relief.

'Jesus kid, you almost gave me a heart attack.'

Dipper yelped.

'OH! Grunkle Ford, you're awake.'

Grunkle Ford? That was new. Maybe Dipper was finally warming up to him again.

'Why are you on the couch?'

'Bill's mad at me.'

Ford sighed, putting his hand on his forehead as though he had a headache. Really, it was his chest that hurt, and the heart inside. He curled in on himself just at the thought.

'Why's he mad? I thought you two were crazy in love. Emphasis on the "crazy".'

Dipper muttered the last part under his breath. Ford chuckled.

'I had a misunderstanding with someone... And Bill didn't like how I acted.'

He made it simple and vague, not enthused by the thought of telling his 16-year-old nephew about how he danced with a man he was not engaged to.

'Oh... ok. You wanna talk about it?'

'Not exactly.'

'Oh thank god, I'm not good with emotions, that's more Mabel's thing.'

Ford laughed quietly, hoping it wouldn't wake anyone.

'I was like that at your age. Always terrible with social cues and whatnot. I had to get Stan to do most of the talking for me when I was younger.'

Dipper sat on the floor, next to his estranged great-uncle, and they talked for a while. The boy had a lot in common with Ford, and he was thankful for it. Maybe the squirt could finally learn to trust him after the whole... Weirdmageddon thing. Ford wondered if he should apologise, or if it would just dig up old unwanted memories for the boy. After about 20 minutes of just talking, Ford grumbled.

'It's late. Stan will kill me if you don't want to wake up tomorrow, and I have some shrink session I need to attend in the morning. Good night kid.'

Dipper nodded.

'Ok. Good night Grunkle Ford.'

Grunkle Ford. He could get used to being called that again.

Chapter Text

Bill refused to talk to him the whole morning. Of course, his muse was angry. He had the right. This was Ford's fault, after all, he was the one who danced with someone else. Ford had no ground to walk on and would probably deserve it if Bill broke it off. He would deserve it. He would deserve it.

That line repeated a few times in his head. He deserved this. His muse was always right and if Ford even thought about it any other way it would only make him more blasphemous. Bill was his right and wrong. His morals. And if Bill was angry at him, then Ford would be angry at himself too.

The Axolotl appeared on their doorstep later that day. Usually, Ford would stay quiet and close to Bill's warm presence, but that wasn't an option today.

"It might never be an option again..." A dark thought swirled in his head. "You betrayed his trust... He'd be right to leave you. You don't deserve his love, nor his patience." He tried to push the voice away, but the pain only wrapped itself tighter. It was like a fingertrap. The more you pull away, the more ensnared you become. So, Ford leaned in.

* * *

Bill listened to Ford's self-destructive thoughts. His human was so preoccupied with his misery that he didn't even notice Bill's shadow leaning over his mindspace. He knew what he was doing. Sure, it was manipulative, but how else would anyone ever love him? Relationships were a game and love was the prize. But... It was never like that with Sixer. Ford loved him unconditionally, even without all the manipulation tactics.

He tried to reason with himself, to just forgive his fiancé for the honest mistake... But every time he just saw that smug, BASTARD holding HIS Fordsy as if he OWNED him.

It was all that dumb drunky's fault. Bill would make sure if anything like this EVER happened again, that Ford would immediately dispose of the living garbage that dared try and take him away from Bill. It was all part of the plan.

* * *

The Axolotl led the two of them into the usual part of the forest where they had their sessions. It was glancing over their thoughts and hummed quietly to itself. They were both self-destructive. Bill just needed to learn that someone could love him without all the psyche tricks and borderline mental torture. And Ford... Yeesh, that was going to be a tough one to fix up. Abandonment issues, self-worth problems, anxiety about not being good enough... They were both feeding into their most toxic parts as well as the good. All the Axolotl had to do was help them nurture each other through their broken past, and then the two could work together as a functioning unit. It would just take a lot of time and effort.

They COULD just tell the two to break up and move on with someone healthier. However, The Axolotl could see almost every possible timeline, and in the ones where it did that, they either don't listen or become even more unhealthy when separated. It was like untying a knot. You couldn't just cut it out, otherwise you'd destroy the string.

So, couples counseling it is!

* * *

Ford sat down, quietly hoping Bill would choose a spot closer to him. Instead, Bill chose a small patch of poison ivy furthest from Ford, declaring it was better than sitting next to his cheating fiancé.

’My muse, don’t you think that’s a little dramatic?’

Ford hadn’t seen Bill’s human form change very much over the time they had stayed here, but the second he said that, hell broke loose.

Bill’s good eye enlarged to cover his entire face, mouth and nose forgotten, and sharp teeth stuck out from the bottom of his eyelid. His suit ripped at the sides as two more pairs of hands sprung out and clawed at the dirt, while spikes (closely resembling teeth) tore through the rest, leaving a charred looking torso exposed. His blonde hair changed to a bloody red as his distinctive voice screamed with no origin from any mouth.

‘ØH ṞÊĀḺḺŸ ŠṮÄŊFØṞḎ?! ŚHØŪḺḎ Ï GØ ØFF ÂŊḎ MÂKĘ ØÜṮ WÎṮH ṮHË FÌṞŠṮ HÛMÄŊ I ŚĘË ṮHÄṮ ŠḺĪGHṮḺŸ ṞÊŠĖMBḺĘŠ ŸØŪ?! WØÜḺḎ ŸØÛ ḺÌKĘ ṮHÂṮ?!’

Ford recoiled quickly, dodging one of the large arms sent to smack him. The Axolotl quickly restrained Bill, but not before Ford had started a panic attack.

”Did Bill almost kill me?” The hand could’ve definitely crushed him easily. “He wants me dead. That’s what I deserve then.” Ford’s head spun and his breathes let out little squeaks of fear each time they ripped from his swore chest. “I deserve it. I deserve it. I deserve it.”

The Axolotl had to work quickly. They couldn’t make Ford pass out, otherwise he’d have more time alone with his thoughts and that could lead to some… dangerous circumstances. Instead, they rushed chemicals into the semi-human’s brain to try and calm him down enough to listen to the world around him and get out of his own head.

‘Stanford Pines. Please calm down.’

Their soothing voice and induced chemicals paused the spiralling human’s panic.

’I think this session should take place when both of you have had time to deal with your feelings by yourselves. I STRONGLY suggest you two go home and avoid contact for a bit.’

The Axolotl turned to Bill.

‘I know you’re mad Bill, but please, I’ve never seen you so happy with a being before. I want this… thing, you two have, to work out. Listen to me when I warn you, don’t push everyone away.’

Bill’s form slowly reverted back to its normality. He huffed and got up. The Axolotl turned it’s gaze back to Ford, apologetic.

The two returned to the Mystery Shack, just as silent as when they left.

Chapter Text

Stan watched as his brother walked into the house. He took it that the therapy session did NOT go well. Bill kept his distance, huffing a little as he passed Ford.

’Hey Poindexter, want a beer?’

He tried to make his voice sound genuine or cheerful, but the clear concern seeped through. Ford shook his head and threw himself onto the couch.

’I’ll be here if anyone needs me.’

He groaned, before hiding in the numerous blankets piled on the couch.

* * *

It was dark. Everyone was asleep. Well, not everyone. Ford hadn’t slept a wink, as per usual, except this time it was intentional.

He clambered up off of his uncomfortable (and hopefully) impermanent bed. But hey, that doesn’t really matter anymore. Who cares where he sleeps, or how long he’ll have to sleep there? Not like he’ll be around to use the thing. Not after this.

Ford snuck into the kitchen, quickly grabbing the most easy to grip knife, as his hands were shaking too much to be able to use a smoother one.

It would be quite inconsiderate to start cutting here, after all, this was the main part of their house. He didn’t want to bloody-up a place where the kids had to spend most of their time this summer. So, he walked out into the porch. He looked up at the stars, perhaps for the last time.

Ford scolded himself for reminiscing. His muse wanted him dead, so he’d be dead.

He ran out into the clearing, choosing to lean against the totem pole as he slunk to the ground. Black liquid ran down his face. Or was it clear? Whether it was the strange tar-like ooze or tears, he didn’t care to find out.

He raised the knife to his wrist, taking a deep breath.

’1… 2…-‘

’FORD WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!’

He dropped the knife and attempted to get to his feet. The blade nicked his hand as it went down, causing him to yelp and cover the wound.

Stan rushed over, kicking the knife away with one swift punt. The tool skidded across the lawn, far out of Ford’s reach.

His brother slapped Ford’s good hand away from the cut, taking his wrist so he could look at it.

’What on earth were you planning on doing with a knife?!’

Stan looked his brother in the eye, but all he saw was shame and fear.

’Bill wants me dead, so why should I have the right to be alive?’

He whispered, almost to himself. It was clear Stan was seeing red.

’THAT BASTARD-‘

Stan would’ve been full on sprinting into the house if it wasn’t for Ford. Stan was unsure whether or not Ford would retrieve the knife when he left.

’Come with me, let’s get you inside.’

Ford followed soundlessly. Stan thought about tying him to something so he couldn’t get away, but rope seemed like a risky move right now. Ford would just have to come with him as he murdered Bill.

Stan knocked on the demon’s door. A groan came from inside, but Stan just knocked again.

’COMING! I’m coming!’

Bill opened the door, rubbing his visible eye.

’What do you- Sixer?’

Bill looked at Ford. Fuck, he was a mess. He didn’t want Bill to see him like this. Stan spoke before Ford could make a break for it.

’I found Ford, your FIANCÉ, might I add, outside with a KNIFE. Held to his WRIST.’

Stan emphasised each statement with a firm poke to Bill’s chest.

’Apparently, you told him to-‘

Stan sighed, not wanting to add to the sentence.

Bill blanched, quickly darting his gaze to Ford. The demon looked him up and down.

’Tell me Fez’s is joking. Tell me right now.’

Ford didn’t want to lie to his muse. He couldn’t bring himself to it. Ford shook his head.

Bill grabbed Ford and pulled him into a hug. In his muse’s embrace, Ford couldn’t hold back his tears as he hid his face in the crook of Bill’s neck.

’Why? Why on earth would you even THINK about that? Why would you risk taking the one good thing I have away from me?’

Bill scolded half-heartedly as he held Ford.

’I- I thought you wanted me to… Back in the clearing, you tried to kill me, didn’t you? With your arm? I thought you wanted me dead…’

Bill held Ford tighter. He opened their mental connection so Ford could hear everything in Bill’s head. Fear, shame, anger. Ford was petrified for a moment, believing the anger was directed at him, but when he looked deeper, he saw that Bill was angry with himself.

Stan saw the two embrace, watching as Ford teared up, almost surprised to see Bill was too. Just based on how cold the demon had been in the last few days. Stan sighed, giving up his aggressive stance. He knew by now that Bill wouldn’t hurt Sixer… THAT badly.

’If you’ve got him, I’m going back to bed.’

Stan grumbled, taking his leave.

Bill basically dragged Ford into their room, holding him close. Bill patted his hair as he consoled him, and  Ford curled in on himself.

’I’m sorry… I thought it’s what you wanted.’

He said in between quiet sobs.

’I’d do anything to please you…’

Bill rested his head on top of Ford’s, his hand still resting at the base of his neck.

’I know that. I’m sorry for lashing out at you, you didn’t deserve that.’

Bill pulled Ford away from his neck so he could look into his eyes.

’I love you. I don’t want you to be hurting.’

Ford leaned into Bill’s hands as they wiped away his tears. He sighed, his legs aching from how long he’d been standing. Bill scooped him up, holding him bridal style. Ford squeaked in protest.

’Hey! Put me down.’

’Never. I refuse to put you down ever again.’

Ford sighed, defeated and not bothered enough to fight against Bill’s hold. After all, Ford had craved his touch for the few days he’d been on that godforsaken couch. Speaking of.

’Does this mean I’m off the couch?’

He asked, hopeful.

’Of course it does Fordsy. Now come here so I can cuddle the living daylights outta you.’

Ford almost yelped with joy. He snuggled into his muse’s chest, and decided he would never leave Bill’s comfort again. He would be the most loyal, loving and obedient human Bill has EVER inspired, that way, his muse would never leave again.

Bill placed Ford on their bed, quickly coming to join him. He grabbed a few blankets and wrapped the large rectangles of fabric around them, almost welding the two together in a fluffy bundle. Bill kissed Ford’s head over and over, peppering his face in a show of affection.

’You’re never ever going to leave me again. Never.’

’Took the words right out of my mouth.’

’Get out of my head.’

’You first.’

Chapter Text

The two lovers woke up the next day, exhausted and sweaty from their shared body heat, along with the towering mountain of blankets.

’Morning sweetheart.’

Ford’s heart did a little flip at the sound of his muse’s beautiful voice in his ear. He had almost forgotten about the night before, and how he was finally off that wretched couch. Ford didn’t think he could ever look at that piece of furniture the same way again.

’Fordsy?’

Bill’s hushed whisper broke Ford from his train of thought. Suddenly, all Ford’s attention was on his muse. He hummed quietly, feeling as though his voice would break the gentle quiet of the morning. Ford felt soft lips connect with the side of his head, grounding him in Bill’s touch.

’Ready to get up, beautiful?’

Ford grumbled, cuddling closer to Bill’s warmth. He wanted this moment to last forever, an eternal scene of his content. But, as the Time Baby knows, it could not. Unless he won Globnar’s Time Wish. That was very unlikely.

His thoughts started to get away from him again. Thin fingers wrapped around his torso, reminding him of Bill’s presence.

‘Bill, I’m sorry about everything I’ve ever done to displease you. I’m sorry that I ever had second thoughts. I’m sorry that I failed at being your perfect puppet. I’m sorry that I failed you in Weirdmageddon. I’m sorry that-‘

’Fordsy-‘

Bill tried to speak but Ford just kept rambling.

‘-I’m not good enough for you and you deserve better than me… But I’m too selfish to let you go. I-‘

’FORDSY!’

Bill yelled, breaking the human from his apologetic onslaught of gibberish and self-hatred. He did not yell out of anger though, the feeling was more akin to frustration.

’I want you to listen, and I want you to listen good. Can you do that for me, yes or no?’

Ford nodded desperately, not wanting to fail even the simplest task.

’Ok. You are the most perfect, brilliant human to ever grace the under-developed atom cluster that this silly colony of meat-sacks call “Earth”. You are my wonderful devotee that I have spent my valuable time on, and I don’t waste my time, do I?’

Ford stayed quiet, listening intently as Bill praised him. It was only when Bill looked at him expectantly, did he pause his trance, a sick feeling anxiety settling in his gut.

’Do I, Fordsy?’

Once he realised Bill was expecting an answer, he spoke up immediately.

’Of course not, my muse!’

’Good, which means, if I spent my time on you, you must be worth something. And that “something” is the whole multiverse and more. I would spear The Great Axolotl themself through the heart if it would make you smile, and that’s not an action taken lightly. I love you Sixer, and you will NOT question the things I love because if one thing is true, it is that I do NOT have bad taste.’

As the cherry on top of this statement, Bill pulled Ford close, and wrapped him in a warm and loving embrace. His muse flooded Ford’s mind with chemicals to relax him, and Ford could feel Bill rubbing gentle circles into the small of his back. He sighed contentedly at the contact, desperate for any sort of approval his god had to offer him.

’I know you love me Bill… And I’m grateful for that fact. Sometimes my mind gets away from me, but I won’t let it happen again.’

’Good, now let’s get up so I can make you some food.’

’Ok, my muse.’

Bill kissed his cheek, trailing down to his jaw, then his neck. Ford’s breath hitched as he felt Bill softly suck on the sensitive skin.

’I love it when you call me that~’

Suddenly, the mouth disappeared, leaving Ford to softly whine at the loss of stimulation. Bill wouldn’t let him wallow for long though, nudging Ford gently in his side before the human finally sat up on his elbows.

’I’m getting up, be patient.’

’Never.’

Bill said, his tone similar to one of a spoiled young child. Ford adored Bill’s more immature side, feeling as though it was a breath of fresh air in the most stressful of times.

Finally, Ford found the strength in him to stand, quickly throwing on some pants before joining Bill as he ran out into the hall.

Chapter Text

‘Muse, slow down!’

Ford was huffing when he finally caught Bill, who had been running full-tilt down the hall and into the kitchen.

’You might crash into someone running like that, be careful.’

Ford lectured softly, as he hiked himself up onto the kitchen counter. Bill soon followed suit, sitting beside him while the two just rested, Ford laying his head on Bill’s shoulder and Bill stacking his own onto Stanford’s in a strange human jenga-tower.

Ford watched, temporarily still, as Bill kicked his feet against the lower cabinets, and he listened to them bang harmlessly. Bill made a slow rhythm with each light kick, adding to the calm morning atmosphere.

‘Are you hungry, my muse?’

Ford asked passively, recoiling slightly as his voice interrupted the sound of Bill’s foot and the “thump” they made every time they came in contact with the sheik wood panel.

’A little bit. Want to show me how to cook human food? It’ll be just like the old times, if you remember.’

’How could I forget?’

Ford hummed, reminiscing about when it was just him and his muse in the lone shack, absent were the noises of bumbling tourists and loud obnoxious ramblings of the TV. Just the two of them, and dreams of their future together.

’What are you craving this fine morning?’

He asked, chivalrous as always.

’Hmm, how about something quick and easy. Noodles?’

Ford chuckled to himself.

’Alright then. I think we only have the spicy kind though, is that ok?’

He checked just to make sure. Ford actually had no idea if his muse had ever tried chilli, or something interdimensional akin to it.

‘I’ll be fine, let’s just get some nutrients for our feeble flesh-sacks.’

Ford nodded, his obedient side kicking in as he prepared the ramen. He had to make sure every aspect of this meal would be perfect for his muse, to assure no more disappointment came from him.

Ford knew this mannerism, he’d had it for a while now. After a fight (of any proportion) with Bill, he would become a lot more protective and grovelling. Not that Bill was against that, he loved it when his devotee spent all his time and attention on him. And Ford didn’t mind it either. He lived to serve his muse, did he not?

The smell of cheap ramen seasoning awoke a stirring Mabel, luring her toward the centre of the shack and their kitchen.

‘Morning Shooting Star, how ya been?’

Bill greeted cheerily and Mabel rubbed the sleep away from her eyes.

’Morning Grunkle Bill!‘

She took a moment to smell the air, humming as she caught familiar scents.

’What’re you guys cooking in here? You aren’t letting Bill use the stove, are you? Cuz that seems a little… dangerous.’

Ford laughed, but shook his head.

’No, don’t worry, I’ve learnt from experience not to trust my fiancé with hot things.’

’But then I wouldn’t be entrusted with you, hot stuff.’

Bill teased flirtatiously, earning a fit of giggles from his grandniece. The flush of Ford’s cheeks made Bill join in.

’Still got it.’

Bill mumbled to himself, prideful.

’Don’t let it go to your head my muse.’

Ford playfully kissed Bill’s cheek, earning a pale pink glow to come under his eye.

The human soon set down a steaming bowl of soup and noodles, before collapsing off of his feet and into a chair. Bill let out a few more giggles at Ford’s tired expression.

’Still waking up Fordsy?’

’Something along those lines. Now eat your soup, I worked hard on that.’

Bill rolled his eye, but lifted a spoon to his mouth. Little red oil bubbles sat on the surface of the broth, mingling with each other and multiplying when Bill shook the small utensil.

’What’s this stuff?’

’That’s the chilli. Try it, it’s good.’

With the hesitancy of a picky child, Bill looked at the spoon as though it might snap at his nose if he isn’t careful. Ford chuckled lightly at goofy expression, quickly using his somewhat limited telekinesis to make the spoon float over to his jaw, clamping down on the soup spoon with an audible “clack” as porcelain connects with tooth. In a swift gulp, the broth disappears from the spoon.

’See?’

Ford says as he swallows.

’No poison.’

He winces suddenly, sticking his tongue out slightly. Ford tried to (in a TOTALLY orderly manner) rush over to the sink to retrieve himself a glass of water.

’Not poisoned, eh? Why do you look like you just chugged white-hot liquid metal?’

Ford coughed, his lungs reacting poorly to the spicy broth.

’It’s-‘

He was interrupted by another short cough.

’-I just don’t handle chilli well, it’s an uncommon reaction, I assure you. You’ll be fine, my muse.’

Throughout this silly situation, Mabel was watching on in hardly disguised amusement, looking between a disgruntled Ford and untrusting Bill (currently giving his ramen bowl the stink eye).

‘It’s ok Grunkle Bill, not everyone likes spicy food. Just give it a try and if you don’t like it, we can buy the normal kind at the store later today.’

Bill seemed happy with this compromise, reclaiming the dropped spoon and scooping up some soup. Before he could rethink his decision, he slurped up the untrustworthy liquid, hoping his reaction wouldn’t be anything like Ford’s.

His eyes light up with a kind of surprised sparkle, quickly diving the spoon back in to retrieve more ramen to shovel into his face.

’Great Axolotl, this is good stuff. I’ve heard spice was valuable for a reason, but this is like swallowing fire, I LOVE IT!’

Ford, still sensitive from recovery, rolled his eye.

’How did I know you’d like food that hurts you back?’

He chuckled, coming to sit down at the table again. Bill welcomed him back with a peck on the cheek, and Ford retaliated with a flushed face and rubbing the back of his neck. Mabel cooed quietly, somehow obtaining a bowl of cereal while they were distracted. Bill silently admires her selective stealth.

’Grunkle Ford, I’ve been working on a sweater to give to Dipper, y’know, for starting his own journal? He’s gonna need to be warm while searching for his own anomalies, so I agreed to make him the perfect adventuring sweater, and since you’re so good at knitting, do you wanna help?’

Bill’s face turned hard in mock-solemnity.

‘Of course, the perfect sweater for a task so dangerous… watching gnomes scurry around and sticking your head in hollow logs.’

Ford poked him in shoulder, albeit half-heartedly. Bill giggled and Ford rolled his eye. He turned back to Mabel.

’I would be delighted to knit a sweater with you, of course I’ll help.’

‘Alrighty then, shake on it?’

Mabel teased, sticking her arm out for a deal. Ford swatted her hand away.

’Hey, I don’t do those, that’s Bill’s thing. Besides, it feels wrong to do it without the flames thingy, don’t y’think?’

She giggled, running off to gather their knitting supplies. In her absence Bill had found his away intimately close. Ford chuckled, turning to face him better. Bill put down his spoon, turning to face his disciple. Without much warning, Bill pulled Ford into his lap, placed his hands in the human’s hair and locked the two of them in a passionate kiss, seemingly unafraid of what might happen if someone caught them smacking tongues. And catch them, someone did.

’Hey Grunkle For- EW GROSS!’

The preteen boy flung his hands up over his face, covering his eyes in a desperate attempt to avoid scarring his sweet childhood any further. The two men detangled from one another, Ford’s face a blushing mess (with just a smudge of black lipstick on the corner of his mouth).

’Hello Dipper, w-what was it that you needed?’

Ford spoke in his usual articulate manner, with just a few stutters in the mix. Dipper was only now pulling his hands away from his face, slowly glancing over at the two of them like they would start knocking boots in front of him if he looked up too quick.

’U-Uhm, I just wanted to ask if you and Bill made up, but I think I have my answer.’

Awkwardly, and maybe for the first time this whole summer, Dipper switched his gaze to Bill.

’Uh… Congrats?’

‘Thanks Pine Tree!’

The demon smiled cheerily at him, like the boy didn’t just walk in on their make-out session. Dipper didn’t seem all that happy about what Bill called him, as he still remembered Bill as the tyrannical triangle from Weirdmageddon. Nevertheless, he didn’t make any further comment.

Mabel ran back in with enthusiasm that could rival a heat-seeking missile.

‘I’ve got the stuff! Cmon Grunkle Ford, we’ve got work to do!’

Succumbing to the pushy child’s demands, Ford stood and followed her to the living room, leaving Bill and Dipper alone in the kitchen.

’So… How ya been Dipdop?’

Bill kept his tone lighthearted, but he knew the kid still held some disdain for him, whether or not he had warmed up to Ford. Dipper looked over to him, fidgeting with someone shiny in his hands (probably a screw he picked up from Stan’s faulty exhibits).

‘Fine, I guess… I haven’t gotten the chance to talk to you yet, so I thought, maybe we could do something right now? I don’t know, Mabel told me to “reach out”, whatever the hell that means.’

Dipper lost his sincerity at the end, trying desperately to not be vulnerable in front of Bill. He respected the kid for it, after all, vulnerability usually leads to bad situations.

’Sure, why not? You play chess?’

Bill got up from the table and walked out into the hall, expecting Dipper to follow. The boy scrambled after him, a little unsure of where they were going and what was happening.

’Uh, yeah, I played it once or twice with Ford. He beat me though.’

’Really? I’ve gotta teach you a few things then, you can’t let Fordsy’s head get too big, now can we?’

Dipper chuckled quietly as Bill rounded into Ford’s room. He picked up a dusty-looking chess board and brought it out to the living room, Dipper trailing behind him.

’Trust me kid, Ford always has the same strategy. If you learn that, you’ll beat him every time.’

They walked in on Mabel and Ford fussing over the exact shade of blue that should be used for Dipper’s sweater. Ford turned his head to glare playfully at Bill.

’Hey I heard that! Don’t go giving my chess secrets away.’

’Oh shush Sixer, go work on your crochet while me and Pine Tree play the good ol’ game of war crimes.’

’It’s KNITTING, not crochet!’

Ford huffed indignantly. Bill just laughed and sat down at their coffee table/repurposed t-Rex skull.

’Your move Dippingsauce.’

Bill set the board so Dipper had the white pieces closest to him, after all, he wanted to scope out the kid’s strategy before making his move.

The game was a quick one, with Bill wiping the board easily and claiming the poor boy’s king.

’What? No way, you were using your clairvoyance!’

’I might cheat at family Monopoly night, but that does NOT mean I cheat at chess.’

‘In this house we have family poker night.’

The demon turned to see Stan in the hallway, holding a PittCola can that Bill knew was secretly filled with beer.

’Sheesh, touchy subject.’

Bill pulled on his shirt collar in mock nervousness. Stan scoffed, rolled his eyes, and plonked himself down on the couch.

’Glad to see you’re getting on well with the kids. For once, you’re being civil today.’

‘I’m always civil Fez, just in my own special way.’

Bill winked, as though he didn’t blend babies on the weekends or whatever the hell demons do. Wait a minute, that wasn’t his own thought! Bill looked over at Stan, bewildered. Did he just read the old man’s mind? He had to test it.

’Hey, that’s a stereotype.’

Stan suddenly looked just as bewildered as he did.

’I’m not getting so old that I just say my thoughts out loud, right?’

Ford, now intrigued, looked over to Bill and raised an eyebrow.

’Did you…?’

Bill’s smile could rival a lighthouse with how bright it shone.

’Yep. I think Frills gave us a few more powers back!’

Ford’s brow furrowed as he thought about what this might mean.

‘Maybe it was because we made up? Perhaps this is going to be a positive reinforcement type of thing, we make progress and we get a power back?’

‘I don’t know IQ, but I’m not sure how I feel about being trained like a dog.’

Ford snickered and went back to his knitting. Bill turned back over to Dipper, continuing their interrupted chess game.

’Okie dokie, my turn right?’

Dipper nodded, looking a little concerned.

’What’s up Dippo?’

At this point he was just teasing, seeing how many nicknames he could come up with for the boy. He had quite a few for Fordsy (Sixer, IQ, smart guy, ect).

’Nothing… I’m just curious, what are you going to do with these… newfound, or I guess refound, powers?’

Bill laughed a little to himself.

’Don’t worry kid, I’m not exactly the Weirdmageddon connoisseur I was when we met. I’m mainly just settling down with Fordsy right now, and I kinda like it.’

That was true, wasn’t it? Bill only liked those insane parties because they gave him a way to let loose and forget about all his TOTALLY NONEXISTENT regrets. But Ford helped him with that all the same nowadays. Although, Bill did miss his henchmaniacs.

‘Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still throw a few ragers here and there, but no more evil overlord stuff. I’m in rehab for crying out loud! And I’m pretty well behaved.’

He could feel Fordsy glaring at him.

‘My muse, must I remind you that as soon as The Axolotl takes down whatever they have in place to stop the henchmaniacs from finding us, Pyronica is going to come kidnap you and take you to destroy some intergalactic pub.’

’Ok, that’s true. What can I say, she knows what I’m like. But OTHER THAN THAT, I’m pretty good.’

Dipper laughed, moving one of his pieces.

’Your move.’

In the time it had taken for Bill to contemplate what he would do about his henchmaniacs, Dipper had decided what he was going to do about Bill’s rook. And hey, it was a solid strategy, just an obvious one.

* * *

It was quite an uneventful day, mainly just family bonding after the whole episode of drama with Bill and Ford. And apparently Stan and Fiddleford too! In the background of their shenanigans, Fiddleford asked Stan out on a date (finally the old dude could stop being jealous of Sixer and get a boyfriend of his own!) and it went surprisingly well, from what he’d heard from Mabel.

Bill was happy for the old coot, maybe the two of them could be good together. A conman power couple, or whatever they were called. Bill had a feeling with the mechanic around more often, the exhibits in the Mystery Shack would look a little more believable. Hey, maybe even a few of them would move! Keep up with that crazy badger down the road.

’Hey Grunkle Bill, want a soda?’

Mabel knocked him out of his thoughts as she harmlessly shook a can infront of his face.

’Oh hey I know these!’

A look of concern grew on Ford’s face as Bill grabbed the can eagerly.

’My muse, maybe I could help you with that-‘

’Nonsense Sixer! I’m an all-seeing nonillion year-old demon, I think I know how to drink cola.’

He cracked the tab, the liquid inside bubbled ominously, as if it knew it would soon be splattered all over Bill and the carpet.

Bill brought the can to his lips, and Ford sighed with relief when he drank it like a normal human being. Until the demon tipped it up and into his eyes, nostrils, and surprisingly, his ears.

’You guys drink it weirdly anyways! It’s much more fun like this.’

His statement was gurgled and muffled behind the pool of cola forming in the natural wells of his face.

’Bill-!’

Ford grabbed a few towels and cleaned up the mess he’d made.

‘Muse, you might hurt your eyes like that…’

Ford watched on helplessly, akin to a worried mother, as Bill gulped down what trickled into his mouth.

Once the scene was finished, Bill crushed the can on the side of his head, taking a bow (and spilling just a bit more Pitt on the floor).

’Oh come on Sixer, don’t be a buzzkill! I remember that one time when you were drunk out of your mind, and Amorphous Shape dared you to have some more punch, you drank it the fun way then!’

Bill giggled at the memory, and Dipper looked a little horrified to know that his Great Uncle and author of the journals he’d idolised so much of his past summer, had drank anything in such a graceless way.

’Oh what the hell. Pass me a Pitt, sweetheart.’

Bill snickered and grabbed one of the peachy cans, tossing it over to his finacé. Ford cracked the tab and Stan looked up from whatever it was that he was doing so he could watch his usually articulate brother down a soda can in one of the most disgruntled ways possible.

’Three, two, one, CHUG CHUG CHUG!’

The bottom of the PittCola can was parallel to the roof as Ford brought it over his mouth, then his nose, then finally his eyes, draining the thing quickly and throwing it to the ground.

He swallowed the majority of the soda that was in his mouth, then tipped his face so the rest would run in. Bill clapped as Mabel looked on, impressed that Ford hadn’t blinked or winced since putting carbonated peach water in one of his most sensitive orifices.

’Bravo IQ!’

Bill kissed Ford’s cheek as he made his way over to pick up their discarded cola cans and put them in the trash. This earned the both of them ughks of disapproval from Stan and Dipper.

Life was finally going well in the Mystery Shack.

Chapter Text

‘Psst! Sleeping beauty! Wake up…’

A small voice whispered in Ford’s ear. He mumbled in response, turning over in a futile attempt to escape the bright light of the morning. But sadly, the pushy voice was unrelenting and he soon felt a sturdy poking in his side.

’Bill… please, I need rest.’

He grumbled, trying to reason with the unreasonable. As expected, it didn’t work.

’Too bad IQ. Now get up, there’s something out in the yard you need to see.’

Ford rolled over to face Bill, an unamused look in his eye.

’What now? I swear if it’s just some mutated Plaidypus, I’ll be mad.’

’Just get up!’

Another firm poke prompted Ford to sit up, swatting away the offending hand.

’Fine fine! Keep your bow tie on, drama queen.’

’Drama KING, thank you. And I’ll let you know that means you’re MY queen.’

‘Oh really?’

’Yes, REALLY! Now come on!’

A few more minutes of useless bickering later, and Ford was up, soon to be paraded onto the porch. Bill had his hands forced over Ford’s working eye, ensuring he could only see black.

’Ok…’

With some hesitation, Bill loosened his hands, allowing the smallest slivers of light to peak into Ford’s vision.

’3, 2, 1… Open them!’

When his sight was finally returned to him, Ford gasped. There was a wooden archway, with draping flora spiralling down from its roof, and rows of cushions lined up on the ground. It resembled a church’s set up, but particularly all the parts needed for a wedding.

A wedding? No… But as Ford looked around their backyard, he saw Mabel, Stan and Dipper dressed up (or as dressed up as Stan could get). They all sported outfits that consisted of deep blues and lighter yellows. Ford even noticed Dipper had a tie on.

’Muse…?’

’Yeeeees Fordsy?’

Ford now noticed that Bill wore a blue suit with a brick pattern around the hem, along with a faint galaxy-like detail on the collar. 

‘Surprise!’

Bill snapped and suddenly Ford found himself wearing a yellow dress shirt with black pants and a worrying amount of thin gold jewellery wrapping around his arms.

’Y’know, I would’ve had you wear a dress, but they didn’t have any pretty ones in your size, so this will have to do.’

Bill teased, leading Ford up to the alter/Chuppah. The symbolism wasn’t lost to him - Bill was subtly walking Ford down the isle, instead of his brother or father. No one was giving Ford away to Bill, because Ford already belonged him. This ceremony was to solidify that.

Once the couple were beneath the archway Mabel ran up with a box while the others sat down on the cushions lined up in front of the archway. She giggled a little, before opening the box to present Bill with the rings they had seen so many times. Stan held a glass (clearly not trusting Mabel with it) for after the vows. 

Bill held Ford’s hand as he erected a soundproof wall around them. Bill smiled and Ford returned it sheepishly. His muse held up the dual-looped ring, the carving of the triangle facing Ford.

’I promise we’ll be together until the end of time. Even if we fight, I’ll always want you. Even if I deny myself the interactions between us, I’ll always crave you, six fingers and all.’

Bill held Ford’s wrist gingerly, before slipping the ring onto both his ring fingers. Then he looked Ford in the eyes, tilting his head slightly.

’You don’t have to say any vows, I know this is sudden and you weren’t prepared.’

’No… I want to say something.’

With a quick breath in and out, Ford looked back at his muse. 

‘I promise to never leave your side, no matter what might come between us. Even if we fight, I’ll always praise you. Even if I deny myself the devoted moments between us, I’ll always pray to you, your charming demonic chaos, absurd world domination and all.’

He paralleled a lot of what Bill had said, but that was fine. That was kind of intentional, if anything. Bill chuckled and raised his hand, giving Ford the room to slip on his ring.

The soundproof barrier went down followed by the faint sound of cracking. Stan ran up and placed the glass on the ground between them, before going back to where he sat on the cushions.

Sharing a mischievously excited look with his muse, Ford raised his foot over the glass. Bill followed suit, and with a hushed countdown, they stomped down. The glass shattered quite satisfyingly, the little shards soon burning away into nothingness under blue fire. It was Bill’s doing, mainly because no one wanted to clean up glass.

’Mazel Tov!’

Mabel shouted it the loudest, but they could still hear Dipper and Stan underneath her.

Bill suddenly moved behind Ford, scooping his newlywed husband up in his arms. Ford yelped as he gracelessly wobbled in Bill’s grasp, unbalanced and unsure of his new position.

’B-Bill! Put me dow-‘

He was interrupted by a firm kiss to the lips. Huffing a little, Ford decided it wouldn’t be terrible if he just let it happen. 

Mabel lead them back into the house once Dipper and Stan stopped gagging

* * *

Bill and Ford sat in the kitchen, eating some toast Ford had actually bothered to make. Usually he just ate whatever he could find. 

Bill giggled, looking at his husband’s hand, specifically his left. The glint of his gold rings seemed almost renewed, eye catching and tantalising.

‘Guess what, my blushing bride? We still got more stuff to do.’

’Really? And what would that be?’

Ford looked skeptically at his muse, who only looked at his with pure devotion in his eyes. 

‘Simple Fordsy, our honeymoon!’

Bill declared.

’Honeymoon? Where do you plan on taking me?’

’Sheesh Sixer, you say that like I might throw you off the Grand Canyon or something.’

’You might.’

Bill scoffed, shrugging off Ford’s teasings.

’Not while you’re in such a squishy body, I won’t. Maybe once the pink fish lets us out and you can shapeshift again. But let’s cross that bridge when we get to it.’

Ford laughed, ever amused with Bill’s crazy ideas.

‘Anyways, I was thinking I could take you to Euclidia! Y’know, meet my parents and whatnot?’

’Meet your parents? Bill we’re married, don’t you think this is a little late?’

’Well it only crossed my mind recently. I’m hoping Frills will let us go as some sort of “closure” thingy.’

’That sounds like a good idea. You should ask them next session.’

The rest of the afternoon went by without hiccups, surprisingly enough for the Pines family. It almost felt like the universe was apologising for all the craziness they’d been through across their collective lifetimes. 

Bill was a little worried about bringing Ford to his original dimension, but he was confident his Sixer would stay by his side no matter what. 

At least, that’s what he hoped.

Chapter Text

‘So Sixer, finally you’ll have the chance to meet my parents! Nervous?’

Ford fidgeted with his hands, walking with Bill to their arranged therapy room/random clearing for their weekly session with the Axolotl.

’A little. What if they don’t like me? What if the Axolotl says no and we don’t get to go at all? What if becoming 2D could have lasting effects? What if-‘

’Jeez smart guy, slow down! If anything about this was dangerous the Axolotl would either neutralise the threat or just tell us we can’t go. As for whether or not they’ll like you…’

Bill trailed off, running his finger along Ford’s arm flirtatiously and letting his chest skim Ford’s back for just a moment. Ford could feel Bill’s breath ebb at his ear.

’You have no need to worry.’

Bill remedied that with a swift kiss on the cheek, before retreating fully and letting Ford flounder to recompose himself.

’Now cmon, we can’t be late!’

He watched as Bill skipped a little faster into the forest ahead, searching for that small patch of grass where the Axolotl would be waiting. Ford’s face took a while to turn back to its normal colour after Bill’s teasing.

Finally, they caught sight of the astral salamander waiting for them in the clearing, serene as usual.

‘Hello again. I take it you two have… recovered, after our last session?’

The Axolotl gestured to Bill’s overall happier mood, and the golden bands around both their fingers, seemingly glinting anew. Did the marital ceremony enhance the rings somehow? Ford was quite curious to study his ring, as most of the power Bill had shared with him seemed to be condensed in it.

’Oh hush Frills. It was just a hiccup!’

Bill rested his elbow on Ford’s head, using him as a support while he lazily toyed with the human’s stray hairs.

‘Bill, if you consider trying to crush your significant other in a fit of instability a relationship’s “hiccup”, then we need to have a talk.’

’Oh please! I’d never hurt my dear Fordsy.’

”Unless I ask you to” Ford’s mind supplied for him. Dear lord Bill did things to him, he would never have thought of that before he’d met his vulgar muse.

Bill seemed to notice his lustful thoughts, but decided not to address it. At least for now.

The Axolotl was clearly tired of listening to Bill’s antics. The celestial amphibian looked over its notepad, quickly writing a sentence and underlining something.

‘Thank you for that insight Bill. Now, on to the planned session.’

’About that—‘

Frills rolled its soulful black eyes.

‘Yes Bill?’

‘Me and Fordsy were wondering if you could do something for us?’

’If this is going in the same direction as Incident 32, then no.’

Bill scoffed, shrugging off the lizard’s concern.

‘Don’t worry buddy! We were thinking something more along the lines of…’

Bill internally groaned. His discomfort was palpable in his thoughts. He winced, but eventually spat out what he was trying to say.

’Coming to terms with my “trauma”…?’

If The Axolotl had eyebrows, they would be raised skeptically.

‘What did you have in mind Bill?’

Once it looked like he had therapist hooked, Bill’s liveliness increased visibly.

’Visiting my home dimension of course! What could be better than going straight to the source?’

The salamander went quiet for a moment. Absentmindedly yapping their pen against their frills, The Axolotl seemed to come to a conclusion.

’I’m willing to help you Bill, but you must promise me something in return.’

’You’re in luck big guy, deals are my specialty!’

’I want you to promise me you and Ford will cooperate with our therapists once you are readmitted to the Theraprism.’

Ford looked over to his muse, tilting his head slightly. He would follow Bill to the end of the Nightmare Realm, he could kiss some uptight psychologist’s ass if his husband asked it of him.

’Fine, I agree.’

Bill stuck out his hand, offering to close the deal. The Axolotl didn’t seem impressed, snapping its stubby fingers and producing a contract out of thin air.

’I don’t do my deals like that Cipher. Sign here, both of you.’

’Worth a shot, I guess. C’mere Sixer!’

Bill grabbed Ford’s wrist, pulling him over to the glowing paper. He chuckled, amused by his excitement.

Bill pressed the end of the paper to his face eagerly. Somehow, in the next second, the inking of his eye was imprinted on the paper. Slowly, a triangle bled three lines around the strange bodily signature. How interesting, perhaps a magical contract? Did Ford have to use one as well?

The Axolotl sighed, handing Ford its pen.

’You can do it the human way if you wish.’

Ford nodded, feeling a little demeaned. He quickly signed his name and the contract quickly ravelled back up, making a pop similar to a firecracker as it  returned to whatever abyss it came from.

‘Now I must warn you both, travelling through dimension, time and space can be… overloading for your senses. You could experience a sort of “travel sickness”. And Bill,’

The Axolotl turned its almost pitying gaze to the demon.

’Along with transporting you to your home dimension, I’m going to clear your memories of any repressive behaviour. This might be overwhelming, seeing as you’ve been unable to see the full story for so long, but trust me. If you can make it through… you’ll get to see them again.’

And without another word, they were gone.

Chapter Text

Oh man, Frills really wasn’t kidding about travel sickness. Or was that just the pain of looming regret? Who knows!

’Bill?’

Ford, looking a little more square than usual, called out for Bill. The triangle quickly came over to steady the human-turned-shape.

‘Hey there Fordsy, how ya feeling?’

After a few coughs, Ford patted himself down, checking for anything out of place. A lot of stuff was out of place. The only features that stayed the same about Ford was his 3D eye and his six fingered hands.

’Are we… Is this really your home dimension?’

’Yep… I think this is around the time when I was in high school, just judging by how old we look.’

Ford looked over at his muse, but saw no difference physically between his current form and the one he had always known. He was missing his iconic hat and bow tie though.

’Right… Do you think we’ll run into the young you?’

’Nah, Frills wouldn’t risk a time paradox just for my therapy. Maybe he just put me in the local Bill’s body.’

Bill looked around, trying to identify any landmarks. It seemed like they weren’t too far from his old school. There were a few Euclidians walking around, but then he spied something he hoped he would never run into again. Bullies.

’Shit. Come on Sixer, let’s get outta here.’

Ford was puzzled but didn’t argue, knowing his muse knew this plane better than he did. But it was too late.

’Hey, look what we’ve got here!’

One of the rectangles called. Bill hissed, annoyed. They couldn’t get out of this, and if Bill had to guess, he assumed he didn’t have his powers in this form. Ford could tell his muse was uneasy, so he kept his guard up.

’It’s little Billy! And who’s this? Another freak?’

A blue circle shoved Ford, knocking him into Bill.

’What a creative catcall! Fuck off, Oval.’

Bill snapped at them. Ford didn’t understand the insult, but the name seemed to piss them off even more.

’Get out of here little Billy, don’t you have an appointment with the eye doctor?’

‘Yeah, go take your meds.’

They shoved past him, probably going off to find some irregular shape to gawk at.

’Bastards.’

Bill muttered, turning back to Ford.

’They were lovely. Is your whole species like that?’

’To shapes like me, yes.’

Bill’s expression soured and he wouldn’t meet Ford’s gaze.

‘I’m a freak here, just like you were. They just didn’t understand what I could see. What I could show them. But who cares, right? This dimension will be freed soon enough, if this Bill is anything like me.’

The coldness in his tone spoke volumes. Ford never knew that Bill was an outlier amongst his kind, it almost made him sad, knowing so many people overlooked Bill. After all, he knew how that felt. But Ford knew better than them, he could see his muse for what he really was. A genius.

’Come on, we didn’t come here just to watch me be shoved around by purist jerks. Let’s go find my parents.’

Bill set off on the familiar path he used to take almost a lifetime ago. The path to his house.

When he finally saw his old home, Bill stopped dead. This was it. He stepped inside, gesturing for Ford to follow him. There in their living room, Bill saw her. A small tear came to his eye as he looked at the 2D face… of his mother. The mother he had killed in a fit of rage. He had forced himself to forget her loving gaze, her peaceful hush, but now he couldn’t ignore it. It stood right in front of him.

Regret washed over him in waves, but Scalene just looked on, a little confused.

’Oh Billy, what’s wrong? It was those bullies again, wasn’t it? Don’t listen to them.’

She walked (or kind of floated, there wasn’t a ground to this dimension) over to him and put a careful hand on his side, comforting.

’Just because you need medicine to grow, doesn’t mean you’re any less than them.’

Then the anger. He knew he didn’t need those eye drops “to grow” or to “keep his eye healthy”. He needed them so he would shut up, go blind and stop questioning this fragile society. Bill kept his temper in check, turning away from his mother and to Ford.

’Mom, this is Ford, my…’

Ford looked a little worried. He didn’t know this society’s social standards! Was a triangle not allowed to date a square? Was Bill not allowed to date someone of the same gender? Did they even have genders here? Did they even have dating here? There was no way to know without making it obvious he wasn’t a Euclidian.

’Partner. In school. He’s my school partner.’

’Pleasure to meet you.’

Ford greeted, internally screaming. He didn’t really know anything about this language, or if those words even existed in it! He just had to hope.

‘Hm, quite a strange name for a square. But I’m glad you’ve made a friend Billy. Will he be joining us for dinner?’

Bill nodded, as well as a triangle could, and went to his room with Ford in tow. As soon as they were alone, Ford began to freak out.

’Bill! I don’t know anything about Euclidian pleasantries or mannerism! Are we even allowed to be dating? What are the social norms?’

’Calm down IQ, you’ll be fine. Try to speak like a normal person, don’t use any of your usual nerd jargon. I assume the Axolotl gave us a sort of translator, so you can speak and understand the Euclidian language but it won’t be able to translate anything if you speak like a robot.’

As Ford rolled his eye, Bill continued.

’We are allowed to be dating, there’s nothing in our culture against homosexuality of any sort. Triangles and squares are on pretty good terms socially, so there shouldn’t be any issues with that. Although…’

Ford blanched.

’What?’

’Nothing too bad, I just want to warn you. Eating here is… interesting. Notice, you don’t feel a mouth? You aren’t breathing?’

’Now that you mention it… No, I haven’t.’

’Good. That means you’ve stayed true to Euclidian anatomy. There isn’t any oxygen to breathe here and you can talk just fine without one anyways, so having a human mouth would be rather useless. But that’s besides the point.‘

Ford looked a little concerned. Bill just sighed, might as well get this over with quick.

’You should be able to switch your eye to a mouth.’

If Ford had a jaw, it would be dropped.

’Like…’

’Like how I change my eye to a mouth all the time. This might also be difficult, because as you’ve noticed, you have a 3D eye. Just like I do. While everyone else has their eyes on the side of their surface, we have ours in the centre. You’re going to have to move your eye to the side to eat, which can be painful.’

Ford put a hand to where his forehead should’ve been.

’CAN be? Moving facial features sounds VERY painful!’

Bill shrugged.

’You’ll live. Or, you can just choose not to eat, make some excuse about being full or something.’

’That sounds like a far better plan than teaching me to eat the Euclidian way in the span of 5 minutes.’

Bill laughed, and Ford couldn’t help but laugh too. They had been so tightly wound that whole trip, it felt good just to have a lighthearted moment, even if it only lasted a few seconds.

’Billy! Dinner’s ready!’

His mother called from somewhere else in the flat house. Her voice was achingly familiar and dragged up all sorts of memories he’d repressed after… the massacre. Bill took a shuddering breath, returning his gaze to Ford.

’Alright, ready Sixer?’

’As long as you’re by my side.’

’Aw, you big sap.’

Ford took a breath in, then a breath out, trying to prepare himself. This was it. Meeting Bill’s parents, after 35 years of dating prior. Great.

They came to the living room as quickly as they could, not wanting to keep Scalene waiting much longer. Bill’s other mom, Euclid, was sitting on the couch, reading. She looked up, and Ford could practically FEEL her steel gaze shift into him.

’Hello son. Is this the friend your mother was talking about?’

’Yes mom.’

’Wonderful dear. Where’s his eye?’

Ah, always the blunt one of the two. Bill could tell his mother had wanted to ask Ford about it, but she was the polite one between his parents. Euclid on the other hand, got straight to the point. And the point right now, was if Ford had the same “deformity” as Bill.

’On the front, mom. Like mine.’

His tone was bitter. He’s never had the best relationship with Euclid. It pained him to call her “mom”, but he knew if he didn’t it would raise alarm bells. After all, this was still back when he was under the illusion that the meds were “helping”.

’I see.’

There was a slight bit of condensation in Euclid’s tone, as though she didn’t believe him, but thankfully she dropped the topic.

‘Ok, time for food.’

Scalene brought out… something. It was strange and staticky. It seemed closer to Earth’s meat than anything else but it was discoloured and blurred, similar to when Ford wasn’t wearing his glasses.

Ford remembered Bill muttering about “the static” after one of his night terrors. Maybe in this world, things bled tv snow. He didn’t want to think about the implications of that.

Knocked out of his thoughts, Ford acknowledged the plate infront of him with a polite shake of his head.

’No thank you miss, I’m not exactly hungry.’

Scalene smiled warmly at him, seemingly unbothered, to Ford’s utter relief.

’Thats ok dear, just have the plate in front of you, and if you want to eat, you can.’

Ford nodded. Bill smiled and linked their hands. Euclid, though limited in her expressions due to having no facial features other than three eyes, raised a brow. Scalene seemed to catch it too.

’Billy, could you help me by going to check if the living room’s clean? We weren’t expecting guests tonight, so the house is a bit of a mess.’

’Sure mother. Ford, will you be fine here by yourself?’

Bill looked at him, slightly concerned. Ford nodded.

’I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me.’

And with that… Ford was alone. With his fiancé’s parents. Having no idea what to say in order to break the new silence that had fell over the room.

Luckily, he didn’t have to say anything.

’So. You and our son aren’t just school friends, are you?’

Ford flushed. Euclid looked at him, and he knew no matter his answer, the blue triangle would find out the truth.

’No ma’am.’

Scalene giggled, going to sit down next to her wife.

’He’s oh so polite! I wonder if Bill could learn a thing or two.’

Euclid hummed, thinking. After a moment, her gaze sharpened ever so slightly.

’I apologise if Bill is… a bit much.’

Ford chuckled, shaking his head.

’Bill has always been “a bit much”. That’s why I like him. He balances me out.’

Scalene seemed happy with his answer, and Euclid seemed… satiated, for now.

Bill returned soon after, assuring his mother that their house was clean, complaining half-heartedly about wasting his time.

’Sorry dear, you can never be too careful. Especially with first impressions.’

It was clearly just an excuse to get Bill away from Ford for just a few minutes, and Bill seemed to notice that. He paid it no mind though, taking his seat beside Ford once again.

* * *

The evening went by quickly, but by the end Bill seemed to be zoning-out more and more. Ford was a little worried, but he didn’t mention anything in front of Scalene or Euclid. Bill would break out of his trance every now and then, speaking animatedly about whatever topic had caught his interest.

Overall though, it seemed being back in his original dimension was getting to Bill. His family, his first family… The one that had betrayed him, the one he’d d̺͇͌͂e͚̹̺̗̚s̅t̸̺̦̼͞ŗ̛͚͕͌̇ọ͗̔y̴̸ͥe̅̋ḑ̐-

Bill shook his head, trying to dislodge the glitchy thoughts from his mind. He couldn’t be thinking about that right now. He couldn’t risk a meltdown, especially since the trigger hadn’t technically happened yet.

As Bill tried to tune into the conversation more, he felt a small tug. Not physical, but mental. Magical, almost.

The Axolotl was calling them. It must almost be time to go home.

Sixer and his parents were getting quite friendly, cracking jokes and telling some stories about Bill’s early childhood. Leaving out the ḿ̶̴̧̖̜̞̮͆͘͘e̘̘͕͐̾ͦ͟d̵̢͖̞̓͊͑͡i͉̲͟c͉̒ͨa̪͓̿̑͡t̩̯̎ͣ̀ͯͬi̪ͫơ̶̡͖̺ͬͬ̽̃ṋ̦͎̱͌̌͢, of course.

The glitches were getting worse. The tugging on Bill’s magic seemed to notice this, pulling a little more insistently. “Ok, ok, sheesh. I get it Frills, I need to go. Just wait a minute, I got to pull Fordsy away from my parents first.”

Bill gently tugged on Ford’s arm. His husband looked over at him once there was a break in the conversation. Bill knew there was no way to tell him they needed to leave verbally, so he started tapping Morse code onto his arm. He hoped Ford still remembered how to decode it.

.-- . / -. . . -.. / - --- / .-.. . .- ...- . --..-- / -- .- -.- . / ..- .--. / .- -. / . -..- -.-. ..- ... . .-.-.-  (We need to leave, make up an excuse.)

Ford seemed to get the gist of it. He nodded subtly and turned back to Bill’s parents.

’I’m sorry but I need to be going home now. Thank you for having me.’

Scalene smiled.

’Thank you for coming to meet us, you were a delight to have.’

’Billy, why don’t you walk him home?’

Euclid looked over to her son. She seemed to be implying something with that knowing gaze. Damn. She knew they were way more than friends.

’Sure mom. I’ll be back soon.’

And with that, they left.

Once they’d gotten out of view of Bill’s house, a gentle pink glow surrounded them, clearly the Axolotl’s doing. And, in the span of a blink, they were gone.

Chapter Text

‘Well, I’d say that was pretty successful! You good IQ?’

Bill turned around to see Ford, hunched over a nearby bush and purging his stomach. Once he was finished vomiting, he looked over to Bill.

’Yep… just not used to my body matter flattening and reshaping so quickly…’

Bill giggled, walking over to his husband.

‘Looks like the Axolotl left us. Need help getting back to the shack?’

Ford shook his head, but before he could protest, he found himself being held bridal style by his muse. He yelped, wobbling a little as he tried to find his centre of gravity. Bill laughed, pecking Ford on the cheek.

’I think it’s best if I carry you the rest of the way, don’t you think, darling?’

Ford’s red face didn’t show any sign of protest, so Bill began to walk through the dense pine forest.

After a while of walking and being carried, Ford noticed a familiar tree. The moss-covered lower trunk blended almost perfectly into the undergrowth, but a faint circular outline could be seen among sparse uprooted grass. Some of the bark had been scraped away to reveal small blemishes of steel. A higher-up branch looked quite abused, sagging down under the weight of a past handling, as well as old hand marks dented into the thin offshoot.

This was very clearly the entrance to Ford’s previously abandoned research bunker.

Bill followed his husband’s line of sight to the battered second lab. He tilted his head, before recognising some of the key features of his partner’s past laboratory.

Bill decided to swiftly change his course, now walking over to the base of the great tree.

’Muse?’

Ford turned his gaze up to the man holding him, confusion written all over his current expression. Bill cradled Ford closer to him, a look of amusement steadily growing.

’Don’t worry Fordsy, I just got an idea.’

* * *

Ford watched from the bunker’s only bed as Bill ransacked the dusty boxes and towers of junk cluttering the already cluttered space.

’Aw cmon Sixer, I know you’ve got a stash of whiskey somewhere in here.’

He continued his desperate search for liquor as Ford positioned himself more comfortably on the moth-eaten sheets.

’Muse, have you tried checking for secret compartments? I know Fiddleford didn’t approve of my spontaneous drinking sessions, so perhaps the stash is concealed?’

Bill hummed to acknowledge Ford’s contribution, closing his eye and murmuring something. Ford watched on, intrigued.

Suddenly Bill jumped up from where he was digging and ran over to the only part of the wall that wasn’t covered to some degree. There was a very unnoticeable indent that could indicate a pocket of hidden storage behind it.

With a small “pop” the contents of the compartment were revealed. It wasn’t an overwhelming amount of liquor, but it was enough to get two demons decently wasted.

Ford sat up and peered over to where his husband was grabbing two bottles of cheap-looking whiskey.

’Bill, how in Axolotl’s name did you find it?’

’Simple, IQ! My eye has always been able to see things I wasn’t meant to. Although the definition of that is quite vague, it still helps in situations like this.’

As Bill sauntered up to where Ford was laying, he handed him one of the bottles and gave him an encouraging and toothy smile, showing off his sharp canines.

’Now drink up Sixer!’

* * *

So that was how Ford found himself crouched on the floor of his old lab, whiskey bottle in hand, and his Muse slowly dragging his fingers through Ford’s drunkenly tousled hair.

The two of them giggled like high-school sweethearts as they stole liquor-scented pecks from one another while rambling about whatever came to mind.

’Y’know Sixer—‘

Ford leaned up to touch their lips briefly.

’You’re pretty cute—‘

Another swift kiss, this time initiated by Bill.

’When you’re drunk.’

Once he got to finish his train of thought, he quickly found his way on top of Ford, still running his fingers through the greyed brunette curls.

Bill took a brief pause before freeing only one of his hands, to grab Ford’s wrist and bring the whiskey bottle he was currently nursing to his lips. As Bill took a quick sip, Ford tilted his head to kiss the palm of the hand still going through his hair.

Bill’s statements began to slur as he spoke again, this time bringing his head down to gently kiss Ford’s neck as he whispered his words against his husband’s skin.

‘Oh Fordsy, could you tell me how you feel about your dear husband?’

At first, Ford didn’t even register what Bill had said.

‘My husband is insane—‘

Bill’s calming touch in his hair soon turned to a sharp yank to his scalp, making him squeak.

Ford’s caught his breath a few drunken giggles slipping out, before answering again, with all the reverence of a praying man begging his god for their next meal.

‘I meant that. He’s insane, positively and unapologetically. He’s egotistical and possessive and craves my devotion. He’s my god and I would devote my every waking hour to serving him—‘

That was met with a far more gentle bite to his neck, along with a short moment of soothing to his pulled roots.

Ford was starting to pant lightly at the attention, his words becoming a little more rushed.

‘Almost like a coin. Double-sided. He’s doting and loving and would do anything for me,’

A more bruising mark was starting to form just above the first, with Bill pushing his tongue against the soft skin more adamantly.

’And is aggressive and won’t let me get away from him,’

Another unexpected yank at Ford’s hair, although this time he squirmed from the pleasure and pain that was being simultaneously brought upon him.

His last words were breathy and barely escaped his throat.

’I would never have him any other way.’

That was the final straw that broke the camel’s back. Bill’s kissing paused, to Ford’s dismay, only to pick Ford up by his legs and haul him onto the bed.

Bill moved his attention to his devotee’s mouth, capturing it in a searing bid for control, which he won with ease. Ford whined as his lower lip was bitten, only for the small noise to be drowned out by Bill’s tongue suddenly invading the space, searching each part of his mouth like he was attempting to map it for later study. Ford‘s hand quickly found purchase on the back of Bill’s neck, desperately pulling him down just a little closer, pressing their chests together. Ford’s free hand soon found its way to gently rest on Bill’s pectoral muscle, tugging lightly on whatever fabric bunched up enough to become a handle.

In the next few moments Ford had lost both his coat and sweater, revealing his heaving, scarred chest to the cold bunker air. He didn’t even have a second to wonder why there was a draft in an underground room, before Bill’s hungry eyes prowled lower. The look of pure, unadulterated need to own him made Ford all the more eager.

Bill’s chest stayed connected with Ford’s the entire time he was sizing his husband up, and as soon as his gaze finished roaming Ford’s flushed skin, his sharp pupil locked onto his face. They both took a moment to breathe, keeping their chests and foreheads together as they waited for the next move.

The next kiss was a lot more gentle, but no less passionate. Bill pulled away slowly, before tilting his head a little lower, to start to kiss along his jaw. Ford's breath tried to regulate itself, although there was no progress.

'Muse..~'

He murmured as close to Bill's ear as he could manage without breaking the contact between them. This resulted in Bill moving just a few inches lower to start digging into the part where Ford's neck connected to his shoulder. He could feel his husband squirm underneath him, which only encouraged him to move lower, now putting his attention on Ford's heaving and swelling chest. His hands kneaded the muscle wherever he could find purchase, feeling the flesh shift and quickly snap back into place once his grappling hands relented for just a moment, before continuing their minstruations.

Ford's whimpering and mewling paused for a moment when Bill moved away from his body. He yelped at the sudden loss of touch.

He quickly noticed Bill's roaming hands new destination. His belt.

Ford's protests quickly came to an end once he heard the clinking of his belt buckle coming loose.

'Bill..?'

'Yes, my dear?'

And his beautiful glowing eye, enhanced by the alcohol in Ford's system, was suddenly placed on him. Ford felt vulnerable, but that only made him whine louder as his head fell back against the moth-eaten bed.

'Please~!'

Bill chuckled, bringing his gloved hands back up to teasingly brush along Ford's pectoral muscles, ringing around his nipples a few more times than necessary, just to see the desperate look coming over his husband.

'So needy Fordsy...'

Finally, his hands returned to their original task, and once he had finally shucked off his partner's pants, he moved to remove his own.

With a snap of Bill's gloved fingers, Ford found himself lying on his stomach on the edge of the bunker's bed, with Bill standing between his legs, keeping his knees from touching. With Ford now on display, Bill gently ran his hands up and down his husband's exposed back, specifically tracing the tattoos adorning his ribs. Where the bones' shapes were visible through the bend of his skin, there was a different word written on each.

"Sixer" on the highest rib. "Smart Guy" on the next. "Fordsy" followed. With "IQ" at the lowest. On his other set of ribs, there were another four of Bill's favourite nicknames for his human, all in his muse's native language.

Bill's palm came to rest on his lower back, breaking Ford from his thoughts and making him squirm once more.

His face was pressed between the mattress and the firm hand in his hair. Bill savored the way Ford's cheeks, neck, and chest were all flushed a beautiful shade of pink. Ford was sure if Bill looked lower he could find that shade in a few other places.

Suddenly, Ford felt something between his legs. Something that surely wasn't there before. His sluggish, drunken brain took a few moments to register what it was, before he felt Bill start to line himself up.

Ford whimpered as he felt Bill start to breach him. His panting slowly got louder, until Bill was fully sheathed in his heat.

Once the initial stretch was done, they both left out groans of pleasure, with Bill starting to draw back. Ford gasped, screwing his eyes shut in anticipation.

Bill snapped forward, going a few inches deeper than he did originally, hitting Ford's prostate. Ford's eyes rolled back in his head as the intense pleasure washed over him. Ford moaned as he began to grind back onto Bill's length. Bill drew back once again, this time when he thrust back in, he hit Ford perfectly.

Ford panted louder as Bill began a steady rhythm. He could hear Bill grunting behind him, clearly finding the balance between Ford's pleasure and his own.

The coil of heat in his gut began to tighten, his moaning reaching a slightly higher pitch. Each time Bill thrust back in, the coil would get tighter until it felt like Ford was choking on his own pleasure. Tears prickled in the corners of his eye as Bill began to murmur against his shoulder.

'Good boy Fordsy~'

He paused to push in once again, before dragging back.

'Muse, please, I'm close~'

Ford begged almost incoherently as his face was pushed further into the bed. Bill thrusts gained in speed, hitting Ford's prostate three times in the span of ten seconds, before returning to their usual pace.

'Cum for me, darling~'

Bill whispered in Ford's ear, then harshly bit down on his shoulder, pushing him over the edge within a moment.

As Ford spilled, he felt a sudden warmth filling him up. The coil finally unraveled and he felt Bill come along with him, filling Ford even further with his seed.

The two, now sapped of energy, collapsed against each other.

Once they had a moment to recover from their overflow of pleasure, Bill snapped his fingers once again, cleaning up their sweat and other fluids. Ford felt two arms wrap around him, holding him close to his Muse's chest. He curled up against Bill's warm body, looking as though it was glowing in the low light.

’So, my Sixer, tell me. Am I better than the kissing robot?’

’Shut up Muse.’