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Chapter Text

Merlin sat in his room threading his blanket between his fingers as he thought about what he had talked about with Morgana only two days ago as she cried to him. She said he didn’t know what it was like, to live with magic to fear for his life every day. The truth was he did. More than she knew.

He knew what Gaius said. He knew what Kilgharrah advised. He shouldn’t tell her that he had magic, that it would do more harm than good. But that was bullshit.

And as much as Merlin respected Gaius and as much as he knew the dragon to be wise he just couldn’t rid himself of his doubt. Why exactly would this do any harm at all?
He was beginning to get sick of the cryptic messages and the constant “You must never reveal your secret” line that was hawked into his ear every waking hour. It wasn’t a good enough argument this time.

When she looked at him with teary eyes and told him she was scared, it burned him to turn her away, and he hated that he had. He had tried to help her indirectly, he tried to help her through the druids but they hadn’t truly helped her at all. So now it was his turn.

He cast his blanket aside and got up. It was decided, he would tell her. Screw it all to hell.

As he strode through the castle, second thoughts began to plague his mind. What if she told Uther? No, he thought, Morgana wasn’t stupid, or a hypocrite, why would she do that if she had magic herself.

The moonlight streamed through the corridor windows, casting a silver glow over the stone. Merlin loved the castle at night it was when he often snuck around, usually to do something illegal.

He took the stairs two at a time until he reached Morgana’s door and with a deep breath, he knocked. There was a long pause before Morgana opened the door. Her eyes narrowed when she saw him. Still mad at him it seemed. Merlin gave her a wonky tender smile.

“Can I come in?” he asked slowly.

“And why would you want to do that?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“I have to talk to you"

Morgana stared at him but still stepped back to allow him in. He stepped in, flexing his fingers with nerves as she closed the door behind him. She strode past him and perched at the end of her bed and gestured for him to continue. Merlin paused, if he did this there would be no turning back, he wasn’t even sure if this was the right thing to do. He looked at Morgana sitting on her bed, she looked pale and deep purple marred under her eyes. Morgana was his friend and he couldn’t just let her suffer if he could do something.

“You said I didn’t understand what it was like to hide who I was,” He started nervously, “But I wanted to tell you that I really do”
Morgana’s eyes softened for a moment.

“Merlin, I didn’t mean to yell at you, and I do appreciate you trying to help, but you can’t possibly_"

“I have magic”

Silence. Well it was out now, no turning back.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I was so scared, I’m just to used to keeping it a secret I couldn’t bring myself to even say it. And I kept thinking about it and kept trying to think up reasons why I shouldn’t tell you. But I just couldn’t let you go through this alone, no one should go through this alone, and-"

This time it was Morgana that cut him off as she flew over to him her arms grabbed him and pulled him into a bone crushing hug, Merlin stumbled back from the force of it.

“It must have been scary” she whispered, she tightened her embrace squashing all the air out of him, “thank you for telling me”

Merlin felt himself practically deflate from relief. He had expected her to be mad, to tell him how betrayed she felt, and maybe even run to Uther and have him executed. He should have known that wasn’t Morgana. Even before she had magic it would never have crossed her mind to use his magic against him. She had risked her life to save the druid boy, Mordred, even though she didn’t know him. She had always thought executing those with magic was wrong, even before it applied to her.

Morgana stepped back.

“But, if you have magic why would you come here? Surely, it’s too dangerous in Camelot let alone in the castle?”

“Gaius is my uncle, my mother sent me here so he could help me gain control of my magic, I was like you before Gaius taught me”

“You learnt to control it?” Morgana asked her eyes widened.

“It took me a while but I did. I could teach you, if you want?” Merlin offered, his confidence bolstered to by her easy acceptance.

“Would you really do that?” She grabbed his arm eagerly. She seemed better already, and Merlin felt sure he had made the right choice. So he smiled and gave her a firm yes.

The next morning Merlin woke up in a better mood than had in a while. It was like a weight off his chest as he walked out of his room and into the apothecary.

“You seem to be chipper this morning Merlin” Gaius greeted him as he sat at the table for breakfast. Merlin scooped up some porridge and blew on it, to cool it down.

“I told Morgana I have magic” he said before putting the spoon into his mouth, it hadn’t cooled down at all and burnt his tongue, but it was worth it to stop him from saying anything stupid in an attempt to null his guilt and going against Gaius. It wasn't like he hadn't many times before, but this time he had promised to listen.

“Merlin, what do I keep telling?”

Merlin swallowed his porridge scorching his throat as it went down. Don’t say something stupid. Don’t say something stupid.

“That I need to stop being so lazy?” Merlin joked. Never mind.

Gaius reached over and snatched away his bowl. “Don’t be stupid Merlin” He scolded, he then sighed, “I hope you can deal with the consequences of this”

Gaius scooped Merlin’s porridge into his own bowl, “Go to work Merlin, Arthur will be expecting you soon” His tone was dull with disappointment which stung Merlin.

Merlin stood up, casting one more mournful look at his stolen breakfast and made his way to work.

Arthur seemed grouchy this morning he glared at the space above Merlin’s head as he dressed him his directions were short and snippy. Well more so than usual.

“What’s wrong with you today” Merlin asked as he worked on Arthurs cuff.

“Dealing with the aftermath of that thing my father married hasn’t been fun Merlin” He said with a dramatic sigh, “This room still reeks of dead troll”

Merlin laughed but quickly clamped his mouth shut at Arthurs sharp look. He was right of course, no matter how much Merlin scrubbed the smell clung to every surface, it stank of manure and rot and, something else that Merlin couldn’t place, but it mixed together to create a stench so foul it was impossible to get used to.

“No one asked you to stab it in your room” Merlin shrugged as he straightened Arthurs collar for him. Arthur glared at him, but Merlin kept his eyes glued to the collar.

“Well if I hadn’t it would have killed me” Arthurs throat bobbed and Merlin had to force his eyes to remain where they were.

“It was lying on the floor” Merlin pointed out taking a step back to admire his work. Arthur definitely would have been dead if Merlin hadn’t used his magic to trip that thing up, but as usual he got no gratitude.

“Shut it Merlin” Arthur snapped as he turned away from him sharply. He waved his hand behind him, “Go clean my armor or something I have a meeting with my father”

Merlin happily spent the rest of the day on the monotonous cleaning, it allowed him room to figure out how he was going to teach Morgana. They had planned to meet once or twice a week for lessons.

When Merlin had done the day’s tasks and finally had free time, he walked to the forest where he and Morgana had agreed to rendezvous. He didn’t have to wait long before Morgana appeared her emerald cloak wrapped tightly around her to ward of the wind.

“Why do we have to practice all the way out here?” She complained as she sat down on a nearby log.

“To ensure nobody will see us” Merlin pointed out, “We can’t guarantee no one will walk into the apothecary and it would look suspicious if I kept visiting your room alone”
Morgana considered this before giving a resigned nod.

“So what will we do first?” She encouraged. She leaned forward her green eyes solely focused on him. Merlin reached his hand out a sharp gold flooded his eyes as a large stick flew from a few meters away and perfectly landed into his outstretched hand.

“That’s it?” Morgana stated, she slumped forward looking slightly disappointed.

“What’s wrong with that?” Merlin asked with a raised brow.

“I’m not sure, it’s just a bit un-extravagant?”

Merlin thought this over, he had hoped she would have been at least a little impressed but he guessed Morgana’s only exposure to magic so far was elaborate and powerful from those who attacked Uther. He made a mental note to consider the implications of her only witnessing evil magic, he would deal with it later.

“Let’s learn the basics first” Merlin discarded the stick for her to summon back to her. Morgana reached her hand out just as he did her eyes flashing gold.

The stick burst into flames.

Merlin rushed over and stomped it out before the whole forest caught on fire.

Morgana looked pale her eyes wide, “I can’t even do that right?”

Merlin chuckled, “Don’t worry I once set my mother curtains on fire when I first found out about my magic, it nearly burned down the whole house  this is nothing”

Morgana relaxed a little bit, “Really?”

“Yes, of course, you will learn”

Morgana took a deep shaky breath and relaxed fully.

“Let’s try that again, but this time really try to envision the stick coming towards you and landing in your hand”

The stick flew towards them fast and Merlin had to dive out of the way as it catapulted towards his head. It hit the tree behind him and shattered splintering on impact. Morgana cringed.

“Well at least it was better than last time?” Merlin commented sheepishly. He wiped away the mud smeared against his cheek and gave her an abashed smile. She just put her head in her hands and sighed.

Chapter Text

By the end of their first lesson Morgana hadn’t made much progress, and as the sun began to set over the horizon they had to dejectedly trudge back through the woods. They walked in silence focusing on their footing so they didn’t trip over roots.

“Do you know what I don’t get?” Morgana finally said. Merlin looked up as he untangled his shirt from the branch it got snagged on.

“What?” He asked finally freeing himself.

“Why did you stay?” She asked. Merlin gave her a puzzled look so she probed further, “You came to Camelot to learn to control your magic, You’ve learnt now, why put yourself at risk any longer by staying?”

Merlin stared ahead as he thought his answer through.

“Arthur" He whispered. Morgana paused giving him a quizzical look.

"...Arthur?" She prompted hesitantly.

"I need to protect him, he would die without me" Merlin couldn't let that happen no matter what, he would protect Arthur, even if he was a complete arse.

Morgana blinked at him, "But, Arthur hates magic, if he finds out he will kill you"

Merlin refused to believe it.

"When Arthur becomes king things will be different, things will be better for us" Merlin said firmly, "I know him, he will change his mind about magic"

Morgana examined him, her green eyes scoured every aspect of his expression. He shifted uncomfortably, Morgana had this adeptness to her that always made him think she knew exactly what he was thinking. He hated it sometimes.

The corner of her lip twitched up, making Merlin wonder what she had divulged.

"If you say so" She said lightly with a shrug and began walking on. Merlin stumbled after her.

"I mean it" He insisted. She just hummed in response, something about her demeaner made him antsy. He had never been happier to see the castle.

"Finally we're back" He sighed as they stepped into the warmth of the hallway.

"Thank you Merlin, I had fun" Morgana said as she reached out and pulled him into another tight hug.

"Merlin?" I voice behind them made them jump back. Merlin tensely turned towards the voice, to see the familiar crop of fluffy blonde hair. Arthur.

"What are you to doing?" He asked his eyes narrowed.

"Aren't I allowed to walk around?" Merlin asked trying to act casual.

"Where you two out? Together?" He spat out.

Morgana suddenly let out a sharp laugh. Making them both jump and turn to her. She just smiled and gave Merlin a pat on the shoulder before she sauntered over to where Arthur stood with arms crossed.

"I'm going to bed" She said as she slipped past, "good luck" she smirked at Merlin over Arthurs shoulder.

They both watched her disappear down the hallway, abandoning Merlin to explain to Arthur. As soon as she was out of sight, Arthur spun back around to glare at Merlin.

"Care to explain?"

Merlin's mind whirled as he tried to find and explanation. Nothing came to mind, so he did the first thing that he could think of.

"Not really, no" Merlin said, he turned and booked it down the hallway away from Arthur. Sharp curses followed him but Merlin was already gone before Arthur could react.

The next few weeks where filled with chores and classes. Morgana began getting better and better and after a couple of lessons she managed to summon the stick without much problem. Merlin was proud of course, he surprised himself by being a relatively competent teacher.

Merlin trudged to Arthurs chambers, exhausted from the late night he spent teaching the day before. It felt like as soon as he collapsed into bed Gaius was shaking him awake and scolding him for being late to work.

He pushed open the door, Arthur stood in the middle of the room tapping his foot impatiently.

"Your late" he snapped. Arthur had been cold to him over the last week or two. Merlin cringed, he had added fuel to the fire.

"Sorry"

"Just hurry and put my armor on Merlin, we are training today"

Great, as if Merlin wasn't tired enough.

He grumpily strapped the armor onto Arthur and they walked down to the training grounds.

The sun was blazing, a sweltering sort of heat that made Merlin wonder how the knights didn't pass out in their big metal plating. Arthur picked out a heavy spiked mace and swung it around. Merlin watched as he paced around the circle flourishing his weapon, the sun shone on his tanned face making his blonde curls look like a golden halo. His sky blue eyes pinned to Merlin.

"Grab a shield Merlin" His order made Merlin jump. This couldn't be good.

Merlin walked over to the shields mounted on the rack in a neat row. He looked over them before picking the thickest one. He slowly walked back to Arthur.

Suddenly, Arthur swung the mace hitting the shield hard sending the force reverbing down Merlin's arms.

"What was that for?" Merlin yelled louder than he needed.

"Care to tell me what's going on between you and Morgana?" He asked swinging again. Merlin just about blocked the blow.

"What do you mean?" Merlin blinked at him innocently. He knew fully well what Arthur meant.

"Don't think I haven't noticed you two disappearing to the woods every other day for hours" Arthur hits the shield again, hard.

“We’ve just been going on walks” Merlin lied. It wasn’t the best lie but he couldn’t think of anything better. Oh well, Arthur wasn’t the brightest.

“Bullshit” Arthur swung again. Okay maybe Merlin had underestimated him.

"It's true"

“You never go out on walks with me”

“That’s because Morgana is better company” Merlin grunted as the mace hit the shield again.

“You know you can’t be together?” Arthur practically hissed.

“You’ve already given me this speech” Merlin commented unhelpfully. Reminding Arthur about when Merlin gave Morgana flowers only seemed to piss him of even more, for some reason. Arthur dropped the mace.

“Royalty can’t be with servants; my father would never allow it” He said gruffly before turning and storming away, leaving Merlin to stumble after him.

Chapter Text

“I think Arthur is on to us” Merlin commented the next morning when he passed Morgana in the hallway. She stopped and looked at him, a quizzical look on her face.

“He suspects that we…” She glances around, no one was around, but just in case she lowers her voice to a quiet whisper, “that we have magic?”

“No, but he has been asking questions, it’s only a matter of time before he catches on” Merlin explains. He sighs, “We should cancel our lessons for a little while just in case”

He really didn’t want to, but it wasn’t worth the risk. Morgana wasn’t happy either but she hesitantly agreed.

That evening after a day’s work Gaius sent Merlin on an errand to collect fire wood. He trudged down through the castle.

Merlin was tired but he was still trying to make it up to Gaius after endangering them both when he told Morgana. He hadn’t considered it at the time but if Merlin went down for his magic he would drag Gaius down to. He didn’t very much enjoy the thought.

"Meeting up with Morgana again are we Merlin?" Arthur's voice dragged Merlin from his thoughts. Arthur stood leaning on the archway of the door out. Directly in Merlin's path. He huffed, he was too tired to deal with this today, he just wanted to get the fire wood and collapse into his bed.

"Nope, just getting some firewood from the forest" Merlin answered as he pushed past Arthur. Arthur followed after him.

"So you wouldn't mind if I tagged along then?" Arthur responded smugly, as if he had caught Merlin in a lie. Unluckily for him Merlin actually was just going out to get fire wood.

"If you have to" Merlin shrugged, too tired to argue with the prince.

Arthurs self-satisfied smile dropped of his face, much to Merlin's enjoyment. Maybe that would mean Arthur would give up and leave him alone? But to Merlin's dismay he seemed perfectly happy to continue walking besides him, with far too much energy.

They spent the next hour collecting fire wood from the forest. Well, Merlin did, Arthur just followed after him. This annoyed Merlin to no end.

"You could at least help me carry it?" Merlin suggested irritably staring down at the armload of wood he had just accidentally dropped.

"Remember Merlin you're the servant and I'm the royal."

"Yeah a royal ass" Merlin grumbled as he bent down and scooped up the wood.

"What was that?"

"Nothing" Merlin said innocently and began walking again.

"Tell me what you said!" Arthur demanded his arms folding. Merlin hid his smirk but kept on walking on ahead.

At the top of the hill they were climbing there was a break in the trees, on the horizon the castle sat elegantly. A few houses where scattered around at the base of the hill, smoke drifted through the chimneys. Merlin imagines reaching out with his magic and moulding the smoke.

"Merlin!" Arthurs voice drifted up from a few meters down the hill. But he couldn't use his magic because of the annoying hinderance following him around.

“Yes your royal highness?” Merlin called just as Arthur reached the top. He gave Merlin a quizzical look.

“Since when did you call me that?” He asked.

“As you just reminded me, I’m a servant, what else would I call you, your highness” Merlin teased. Arthur had spent this whole time pissing him off now it was his turn.

Arthur’s eyes narrowed at him, "I don't like it, be normal"

"What do you mean, normal, your majesty?"

They walked back to the palace bickering as they went. The sun began to set by the time they arrived.

“So you really weren’t going to meet up with Morgana” Arthur commented when they got to the apothecary’s door.

“I said I wasn’t” Merlin pointed out.

He examined the door, trying to figure out how to get it open with his arms laden with the wood. Arthur reached over his shoulder to push open the door. In doing so, he stepped closer his chest brushing against merlin's back, his hot breath ticked against merlin's ear. He was close. They both froze. Arthurs breath hitched as Merlin's soft black hair brushed against his cheek.

After a tense second of silence Merlin cleared his throat, making Arthur jump.

“Oh right” Arthur coughed pushing the door open for him.

“Thanks” Merlin called behind him as he scurried inside, his cheeks red for some unknown reason.

Chapter Text

Merlin and Morgana took a two week break from lessons, long enough that Arthur had stopped demanding to know where Merlin was going every time he tried to leave the castle.

“I have a question” Morgana announced during their first lesson back.

“What?” Merlin asked casually as they watched the twig flying three feet off the ground weaving between the trees. Merlin was proud at how quickly Morgana was beginning to pick up basic enchantments, even after the long break.

“Have you had any contact with the druids?”

Merlin gave her a sideways glance; he knew she was still upset about the druids she watched die when he had sent her to visit. A bad judgement on his part, a lame attempt to skirt away from his responsibility.

“Not a lot, no” he answered cautiously trying to read her expression.

She looked down at her hands, “I can’t believe Uther would just kill them like that” her breath was just above a whisper, “Doesn’t he deserve death for all the innocent blood he has spilt”

Merlin bit his lip as he thought through his response.

“Yes he does, but killing him will only prove to those who fear magic that they are right. We need to do our best to build our future rather than dwell on the past” Merlin responded.

There was a long pause and they both silently watched the stick cut through the air narrowly missing a bird that had been startled into flight.

“I think the druids feel the same way, they could easily kill Uther if they wanted to they are powerful enough” Merlin finally broke the silence.

“They are powerful” Morgana acknowledged, “Did you know they can communicate through just their minds?”

Merlin’s head whipped around to face Morgana, she blinked back at him in confusion.

“Can…can you hear them?” He asked breathlessly.

“Yes…why?” Morgana asked sceptically as she gave him a weird look.

“I can hear them too” Merlin explained his eyes wide, “And if we both can hear them- “

“We can hear each other” they said in unison their voices coated with their excitement. The stick fell to the floor with a muffled crunch as it landed on the dried leaves. If they could talk telepathically, discussing their magic would be so much easier.

“But how do we do it? Do you know” Morgana asked.

Damn it.

“No” Merlin responded shoulders slumping. Disappointed already.

“We could try to figure it out?” Morgana suggested. They both pause to think it over.

“Maybe if I think something really hard?” Merlin suggested.

“Worth a shot”

Hello? Hello? Nothing.

“Nope nothing”

They both deflated again. Morgana paced back and forward rubbing her chin she suddenly paused and stared really hard at Merlin. Her intense gaze made him fidget.

Merlin?

Merlin jumped at Morgana’s voice loud and clear in his head. She had done it!

“How did you do that!?” Merlin’s voice raised louder than he had intended because of his excitement.

It’s not thought its magic. Say it into the magic

That didn’t really make sense. Merlin thought it over, he imagined his magic, a deep pool of molten gold shifting like waves in his very core. Imagined standing over it, seeing his own reflection in its surface, imagined calling into its depths.

Like this?

Merlin watched Morgana for her reaction to see if it worked. She grinned nodding as she heard his voice in her head.

Yes, you did it!

It was a little freaky hearing her voice but not seeing her mouth moving, just a little twinkle in her eyes.

Holy shit this is so amazing

Chapter Text

Merlin sat on the ground entwining his fingers through the grass as he watched Arthur training, luckily he had decided not to force Merlin to train with them today, much to Merlin’s joy. Instead he was sword fighting with the knights.

Arthur seems calmer today, is it because he hasn’t caught us recently?

The voice made Merlin jump and he turned to where Morgana stood across the field from him, her green eyes focused on him

Probably

A sly smirk twisted on her lips. Her black hair was pulled up into a high ponytail and she wore chainmail and loose trousers.

Are you joining the training today?

Uther has been worried because I haven’t practiced recently

She shrugged lightly.

If only he knew I could defend myself without a sword now. Wouldn't he be surprised.

Merlin smirked imagining the look of horror on the kings face, ignoring the terrible death that would inevitably follow it was pretty amusing.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Arthur demanded. Merlin flinched again, hadn’t even noticed him approach. Arthur followed his eye line, “Morgana?”

oops it looks like you’ve been caught.

Not helpful!

“Merlin!” Arthur commanded as he snapped his fingers in front of his face, “can you keep your eyes off her for five seconds?”

Merlin slowly tore his gaze away and stared up at Arthur.

“Sorry. I didn’t realize I was staring” Merlin responded wit an innocent smile. Arthurs jaw ticked.

“Maybe we do need your help practicing today Merlin” Arthur gave a tight lipped smile.

oh god save me

Hold on I’m coming

“Or are you scared you’re going to embarrass yourself in front of Morgana?”

“More scared that you’re going to hit me with a mace again” Merlin quipped as he pushed himself of the ground, “Can’t you take out your energy on someone else?”

“Like who Merlin?”

“Like me” Morgana chirped as she stepped next to Merlin.

Arthurs eyes widened, taken aback.

“I can’t fight you Morgana”

“and why not? Scared I’m going to kick your ass again?”

Arthur narrowed his eyes, “Fine, grab a sword”

Arthur stormed away. Morgana chuckled taking a step to follow but Merlin grabbed her arm stopping her in her tracks, she raised an eyebrow at him.

“Are you sur-“

“I’ll be fine Merlin, we duel all the time”

“Oh no, I know you could beat his royal ass” He hesitated before continuing telepathically.

I’m just worried you might not be able to control your magic

I can control it just fine, thanks to you

“Are you just going to stand there gazing into Merlin’s eyes or are we going to train?” Arthur called from the field as he brandished his sword eyes glued to where Merlin held onto her Morgana's arm. She laughed again.

“I’m coming”

Merlin let go of her so she could go grab a sword. His teeth dug into his cheek anxiously, Morgana might be confident but he wasn’t so sure. He had a very bad feeling about this.

Chapter Text

Morgana and Arthur traded blows and parry's as Arthur tested Morgana's skill with a sword. He was sceptical about fighting her for some reason.

"They haven't fought in years" Gwen pipped as she settled in the grass next to Merlin, answering Merlin's unasked question.

"Why on earth are they duelling?" She asked rearranging her skirt around her ankles. She turned and smiled at Merlin her eyes crinkling around her deep brown eyes, Merlin smiled back at his friend.

"Morgana challenged him" he answered, at Gwen's curious head tilt he continued, "She was helping me out, Arthur was being a bully"

Gwen's laughed loudly at this, "What's new" her voice thick with her amusement. Arthur's head whipped around at the sound and he stared at them. Arthur must be deeply in love with Gwen as he turned to hear her laugh. Merlin didn't much like the thought, he must be worried about Uther's reaction.

“You seem nervous?” Gwen observed.

Merlin didn’t respond, he didn’t think it was a good idea to tell Gwen that he was worried that Morgana may use her magic by mistake. Gwen didn’t probe further as she got distracted by a sudden change in the fight.

Morgana seemed bored of their dull back and forth and she suddenly swung high, breaking the pattern and taking advantage of Arthur's distraction. Arthur tumbled out of the way. He chuckled before he began to fight back properly, seemingly Morgana had proven she was worth the effort and focus.

He leapt to his feet and swished  his sword slashing it towards Morgana and she deflected it easily. A sly smile spread across her face as she retaliated. She stabbed forward and Arthur spun away towards her. She anticipated his move and sent an elbow straight for his gut.

“That looked like it hurt” Merlin grinned as Gwen hissed through her teeth. He had no sympathy for Arthur after so many training sessions where Arthur had picked on him.

Arthur hunched over gasping his hand on his stomach. Morgana took a few steps back giving him space to recover.

“That wasn’t fair” Arthur grouched as he straightened. Morgana laughed and Merlin spotted the corners of Arthurs lips tug up.

They began trading blows again. Arthur feinted right Morgana fell for it as she stepped to black, he swung his legs sending Morgana flying onto her back. She gasped for breath.

The sky began to darken and clouds began to form the trees whipped in the sudden wind. Magic.

calm down Morgana.

I'm trying

Morgana squeezed her eyes shut taking deep breaths, the clouds began to dissipate and the wind slowed. She pushed herself up from the ground brushing mud of her pants.

End it now before you cause a storm

Merlin felt strange ordering a Lady around, but it was necessary as her teacher. She turned to him her eyes downcast and she gave a slight barely noticeable nod. She turned around on her heals and walked off the field.

Arthur stared after her with confusion. He trudged over to where Merlin and Gwen sat.

“What happened?” Gwen asked her eyebrows lowered her eyes focused on Morgana’s back.

“She’s always been a sore looser” Arthur suggested but worry wrinkled his brow.

Merlin knew it was a bad idea for Morgana to fight, it only proved to her that she still didn’t have control over her magic, which had to be disheartening for her.

Merlin pushed himself up of the ground taking a step towards where she was going.

“Where are you going?” Arthur asked but Merlin didn’t stop.

“I’m going to go see if she’s okay” He said over his shoulder and he ignored Arthur calling him to come back as he sped after her.

He caught up with her just outside her bedchambers. He doubled over panting.

“Your fast” He huffed. Morgana rolled her eyes.

“What is it Merlin?”

“Don’t be upset” he said through deep breaths. Her eyes turned away from him a frown painting her lips.

“I’m not upset Merlin”

“It’s only natural to not be in complete control yet, your still learning” Merlin attempted to comfort her. If anyone was listening they would assume he was talking about her loss to Arthur.

She shook her head.

“Just leave me for a bit Merlin, it’s just a lot right now” She said sadly and disappeared into her chambers shutting the door firmly behind her.

Merlin sighed turning around to go back down the stairs.

Arthur blocked his way his arms crossed in front of his chest as he leant against the archway down the stairs. He had definitely heard them talking, and if he wasn’t sure something was going on he was now.

Chapter Text

They walked in relative silence when they had almost arrived back at Arthur’s chambers he finally said something,

“You said there was nothing going on between you” Arthur grumbled which made Merlin tense.

“There isn’t, and why is it so important anyway?” Merlin pulled his red neckerchief away from his throat to give himself some air.

“Uther would be furious and that would cause problems for all of us including me. For one I would be out of a servant when he kills you” Arthur didn’t make eye contact as he said it. Merlin rolled his eyes.

“Well you don’t have to worry, I was just trying to be nice” Merlin shrugged casually.

“Well you where being to nice” Arthur snapped. “Are you interested in her?”

Merlin thought for a second, while Morgana was quite beautiful the though had never really crossed his mind. He had heard chatter from other servants, many of the younger male staff would often discuss her in hushed voices. They would tell tales of her great beauty and how they desired to court her, but for Merlin he had never found himself interested. Maybe he was to busy with his task of keeping Arthur safe.

“My mind is elsewhere” Merlin shrugged again, he followed Arthur into his chambers and pushed the door closed after him.

“So there is someone else?” Arthur prompted taking a seat at his table. That is not what Merlin had meant at all, but he saw no harm in the lie if it meant it got Arthur of his back.

“Yes, so you don’t have to worry about me pursuing someone above my position”

“You, Merlin, have a lover?” He seemed sceptical. Merlin nodded his head starting to doubt his lie would help at all.

“Tell me, is she blind?” Arthur asked his lips tugging up. Merlin was not as amused.

“She’s a barmaid, and she likes me very much” Merlin fibbed, puffing out his chest.

Arthurs mood suddenly dropped again, “She works at the Tavern?”

Merlin wasn’t sure why it mattered but he decided to just tell him she did. His mood did not improve thanks to that piece of information.

“Why does it matter?” Merlin prompted raising an eyebrow at him. Arthur paused, he didn’t seem to know either so he just turned away and dismissed Merlin, telling him to find something productive to do with the rest of the day.

“Except going to the tavern Merlin, I pay you to work not to go and hit on women”

“You barely pay me at all” Merlin grumbled as he ambled out of the room, glad he didn’t have to suffer through Arthurs insufferable glowering.

Chapter Text

"You have pledged to conduct yourself with nobility, honour and respect." Uther droned on to the newly knighted men before him. Merlin stood to the side, observing, trying hard to concentrate on Uther's ever continuing speech.

He began saying something dull about how great his son was when there was a loud crash just outside. Everyone froze and Morgana's eyes met Merlin.

What was that?

Merlin gave a slight shake of the head. He didn't know, but as the doors burst open he was sure they would soon find out. A soldier clad in armour, face hidden by a helmet stormed down the isle and threw a glove before Arthurs feet.

He's challenged Arthur to a duel

Merlin heard Morgana's silent gasp in his head as Arthur bent down and swiped up the metal gauntlet.

"I accept your challenge. If I'm to face you in combat do me the courtesy of revealing your identity"

Slowly the soldier lifted the helmet from there head and an array of yellow curls fell from it. Before them was a harsh faced woman.

"My name is Morgause"

The next day at tournament had been set up. As Arthur strode into the ring, Merlin slipped into his place in the stands and sought out Morgana she was was seated besides Uther in the royal box.

I have a bad feeling

Morgana turned her head around her eyes scoured around as she tried to find him. Her eyes finally settled on him.

How does Arthur feel about this?

He sent me to try to convince her to withdraw last night, but she wouldn't listen

Her jaw ticked and her eyes dart over to where Arthur is leaned in to his competitor whispering something that the crowd couldn't hear.

Tell me what's wrong

Merlin had began being able to tell when there was something Morgana had on her mind, she usually needed a little encouragement before she told him her thoughts.

I feel like I recognize her

Arthur slid his helmet on

What do you mean?

They readied their swords

I'm not sure. I just have this feeling that I knew her long ago

Swords clashed and they both broke eye contact, eyes back on the ring, the fighting had began.

It was malicious, they fought with equal skill and talent. Which made Merlin worry. Few could match Arthur in a duel. Morgana's words rang in his head, he had a bad feeling something magical was at play and he didn't like it.

Are you still getting those nightmares?

While Merlin could help Morgana control her magic, he had no experience with dreams to help her supress the premonitions that bothered her so much. Arthur nocked down Morgause and stepped back allowing her to get up and continue fighting. How chivalrous, Merlin doubted Arthur would receive the same courtesy.

Yes. Why?

Morgause was already on her feet swinging at Arthur viciously, taking him by surprise.

Do you recognise her from the dreams?

From what Morgana had told him about her dreams, she only really saw danger in her dreams. If she had seen Morgause, Merlin would step in and protect Arthur in the fight with magic.

I don't think so

Well that was a good thing Merlin supposed.

He was instantly proven wrong when the tip of Morgause's blade landed neatly against Arthurs muscular chest, Merlin tensed, his mind racking for something he could do.

Her mouth moved, saying words to quiet for the spectators to hear. Arthur dipped his chin in response and she moved. Merlin flinched but no blood was drawn as Morgause sheathed her sword. She held out her hand to Arthur and helped him up and bowed to the king before disappearing.

Arthur stumbled away and out of the ring without a glance back. Merlin raced after him.

"Are you ok? You're not injured are you?"

Arthurs cheeks turned red and he turned his head away so Merlin couldn't see.

"I'm fine" His Adams apple bobbed slightly. Merlin felt his shoulders sag in relief, but why did she spare him? What did Arthur agree too?

"What did she say?"

"I must meet her in three days and except her challenge"

"and you agreed!?" Merlin demanded, "She could make you do anything"

"Well it was either that or she killed me"

"I wouldn't have let that happen" Merlin mumbled under his breath. Arthur heard anyway, his head swung around to finally look at Merlin his blue eyes searching Merlin for a hint of something, but Merlin wasn't sure what. He blinked back innocently and Arthur frowned, like he was disappointed.

"And how would you have stopped it?"

"I have my ways" Merlin answered cryptically. Arthur huffed a dry laugh.

"Just hurry up and help me out of my armour"

"Gladly"

Chapter Text

Merlin had to seriously consider that Arthur might be a complete idiot. Arthur had been raised by Uther and that meant he had to know the king better than anyone. Yet it seemed that even Merlin knew him. He easily could have predicted that Uther wouldn't be happy about the deal Arthur made with Morgause and it was pretty obvious that by Uther's messed up logic that the only response was to lock Arthur up. 

Now here Merlin was waddling through the halls finding it difficult to move properly. He huffed, he didn't even think it was a good idea for Arthur to go to this sodding challenge but now he had to help him get there? How the world cursed him with the responsibility of a complete ignoramus.

"Merlin is it my imagination or are you getting fat?"

Merlin rolled his eyes and pulled up his shirt to reveal the coils of thick rope he had concealed from the guards. 

After the not so grand escape they where on their horses riding to who knows where. Merlin's horse followed slightly behind Arthurs horse, who seemingly knew its on way to where they where going.

"Why are you so desperate to do this challenge?" Merlin asked. Arthur glanced back at him. The sun already creeping up the horizon. The orange light making Arthurs golden hair look like a halo. Merlin swallowed and forced his eyes to look away.

"I'm a knight Merlin, I have to protect my honour" Arthur turned away to quickly.

"That's not the only reason is it?"

Arthur sighed and ran a hand over his face, it was obvious that he felt hesitant about something.

"What is it?"

"She said she knew my mother" he lowered his head slightly. So that's why he was so desperate to meet with her again? The very bad feeling about this woman was only getting worse by the second.

"So that's why you wanted to meet with her? You wanted to ask her about your mother?" Merlin nodded slowly steering his horse to walk next to Arthur.

"I don't know anything about her, really. No one talks about her" Arthur turned his head away so Merlin couldn't see his expression.

"What are you planning to ask about her?" Merlin prompted

"I don't know yet maybe it's because I know nothing about her. I'm hoping that questions will come to me when I talk to Morgause." He responded, Merlin nodded solemnly. There was a long silence.

"I know it's stupid, that I still think about her. I mean I've never even met her" Arthur laughed bitterly.

"I think it's only natural. I'm the same with my father" 

Arthur lifted his head a look of relief flashed across his face quickly replaced by confusion. "You've never met your father? Did he die?"

"He left before I was born, I don't think he even knows I exist" Merlin shrugged, "I think about him a lot too." 

"You do?"

"Yes of course, he my dad. I think everyone longs to know their parents, even if they have never met them"

"What do you know about him?"

"As much as you do about your mother I'm assuming. Mother doesn't really talk about him"

"Father doesn't talk about my mother either. I think it's to painful for him"

"Our parents must have really loved them" Merlin sighed, "It would be nice to love someone that much"

Arthur gave Merlin a weird look. Merlin laughed.

"Without the heartbreak of course" 

"I guess it would be nice" Arthurs voice seemed slightly strained, he kicked his horse faster and they were back in their original possessions. They went back to their silent riding.

"What if Morgause challenges you to something you don't want to do?" Merlin broke the silence. 

An arrow whizzed past Merlin hitting the tree next to him. His horse reared up and Merlin slipped backwards on his horse. Arthur jumped from his horse as bandits appeared from the forest.

Chapter Text

Merlin blinked as the bright light streamed through the trees leaves into his eyes, disorientating him even more, he heaved a breath into his sore lungs, winded. He grunted as he pushed himself into a sitting position, the sound of swords clashing reached his ears. 

"Merlin" Arthur yelled finally catching his attention. He turned to see Arthur struggling to hold back the wave of bandits. Merlin stumbled clumsily to his feet scanning for any way he could help as he stumbled behind a tree to avoid getting beheaded by a stray sword and to make sure Arthur wouldn't notice him using magic. 

A bandit lunged towards Arthur back. Merlin flung his hand letting a wave of energy flow through his palm blowing the man back through the air, he hit the ground hard and didn't move again. Merlin didn't care if he had just killed the man, he was furious. How dare someone attack Arthur with his back turned. It enraged him.

He took a deep breath he had to be precise or Arthur would notice his magic. He watched carefully making sure no sword came close to Arthur, he ensured that any bandit who came close would mysteriously stumble or miss, allowing Arthur an opening to fight them off.

Arthur was surrounded by bandits, in the chaos Merlin couldn't tell how many there were, he just knew it a shit tone. Arthur brandished his sword expertly, he spun and ducked under an enemy sword. A bandit came careening towards Merlin, Merlin dove back behind his tree as Arthur intercepted. Striking the man with his sword. The bandits took the opportunity swarmed them and no matter how talented Arthur was with a sword he was overwhelmed and outnumbered. 

"A little help would be nice Merlin" Arthur yelled  over his shoulder as he blocked two bandits strikes at once. 

"I am" Merlin grumbled as he began to look for an opening to get inconspicuously rid them of the bandits. He could have easily razed them to the ground with a word if Arthur wasn't present, Merlin thought ruefully.

Merlin glanced around from his hiding spot and noticed a huge tree leaning directly over the group of bandits. Merlin reached for his magic, he felt familiar warmth fill him and quickly begin to spill out he moulded it with his incantations willing it to form into a knife, sharp, steady and deadly it sliced easily through the base of the tree and it came crashing down. Merlin reached out and grabbed Arthurs collar and tugged him backwards, just in time to avoid the huge falling tree.

There was a tremendous crash as the thick trunk landed between them and the intruders. Arthur turned a look of confusion passing his face as he noted that three of the bandits had now been crushed. His pondering was cut short he had to take advantage of the sudden bout of goof luck.

Arthur manoeuvred around the tree grabbed Merlin's hand.

"Come on, there's to many of them" He yelled as he began to drag Merlin after him. Together they ran into the woods and away from the trail. Merlin stumbled as Arthur practically dragged him along. They weaved through the trees until Arthur spotted a rocky formation for them to hide in. The tree had only cause a momentary obstacle for their attackers, they couldn't run from them forever, better to hide until the bandits passed and they could double back to the path and hopefully find their horses.

They shoved their way into a little alcove, it was to small for them to stand comfortable so they ended up awkwardly pushed in front to front. They stayed there silently listening as the bandits yelled to one another as they searched for them.

A twig snapped nearby causing Merlin to suck in a breath pushing himself further into the whole and therefore pushed himself against Arthur even more.

"Stop moving" Arthur hissed. Merlin panickily shoved his hand over Arthurs mouth, worried that a bandit would hear Arthur's scolding and find them, in this position there was no way Merlin could fight them off without Arthur seeing his eyes glow gold. Really the whole eyes glowing thing was a wildly unnecessary and incredibly inconvenient part of using his magic, it was a miracle that no one had ever seen it, Merlin wondered if there was a trick he could use to prevent it from happening, surely as the worlds most powerful wizard there had to be a way. He would think about that later. Now he had bigger problems.

The footsteps drew nearer, Arthurs hand wrapped around Merlin's waist pulling him closer his eyes focused on the holes opening behind Merlin. 

"Their not here! They must have kept running" Someone yelled and the footsteps stopped, turned and ran towards where the voice was coming from. Merlin relaxed, his head resting briefly on Arthurs shoulder. Before he straightened as he suddenly realised just how close he was. Arthur's hands wrapped around his waist their chests had pressed together and Merlin realised with horror that his hand was still clamped over Arthurs mouth.

Strangely though Arthur didn't seem as annoyed as he would have expected, he didn't even seem remotely near giving him another lecture about respecting his title as prince. His eyes seemed kind of glassy as he stared down at Merlin, he almost seemed to be...no Merlin had to be wrong...Arthur was leaning into his hand. Merlin quickly pulled his hand away, trying to shake the feeling of Arthurs lips brushing against his palm.

"I think they're gone" Merlin whispered. He went to step away but Arthur's hands tightened their grip. 

"I think their still around" Arthur whispered causing Merlin to freeze. 

"What should we do?" Merlin whispered, they couldn't stay like this, it was making Merlin feel strange, a different type of heat to his magic, flushed his cheeks.

"Let's just wait and see" Arthur whispered. His head moved forward closer and closer to Merlin. His eyes flittering to his lips, but all he did was rest his forehead gently against Merlin's. He squeezed his eyes shut and they remained like that for a moment. Merlin stood there frozen, strange feelings fluttering in his stomach, this was weird and wrong. But something deep in his bones told him it was right. This was where he was meant to be, where Arthurs skin touched his strength seemed to flow in making his magic grumble. It almost felt like it wanted to reach out to Arthur to hold him. Merlin wasn't sure if that was his magics feelings or his, one thing he did know was he almost didn't want to pull away.

Arthur let out a breath filled with sorrow before he finally straightened, gently pushing Merlin away from him, the heat seeped away like it was never there.

"Lets go" He said as he stepped around Merlin. Merlin just stood there staring at into the cave with confusion. 

He felt sad for some reason. Like he was longing for something that was missing. He shook his head rushing after Arthur. He probably just hit his head when he fell from his horse.

Chapter Text

"Merlin, where did the horses go?" 

They had finally trudged back to the path, it had taken them a lot longer to get back, they probably should have been keeping track of where they were going but they were in a rush. Either way knowing where they were would have been nice.

"How should I know?" Merlin grumbled as he hopped up on the tree trunk he had knocked over.

"You didn't tie them up or something while I was saving our lives?" 

"Nope"

"So you just cowered in the corner and did nothing?"

And saving your life you ungrateful ignoramus.

"Pretty much" Merlin gritted out. He didn't know. Merlin sighed.

"Stop huffing and be useful for once, we need to find these horses so I can meet Morgause"

"It's too late now," Merlin said looking up at the moon creeping up the sky. 

"Damn it Merlin" Arthur waved his hand in frustration.

"How is this my fault!?" Merlin responded incredulously. Arthur didn't respond but gave him a sharp peeved look. Merlin didn't bother trying to figure out how on earth he was to blame, even if the horses hadn't run off they only just got to the path again, the horses being here wouldn't have made a difference.

The cold nights are swept through. Arthur shivered, wrapping his arms around himself. Merlin hesitated, sometimes he forgot what it must be like for him. Ever since Merlin had started to get more powerful he stopped feeling as tired, or cold.

“Why don’t we find somewhere to rest for the night,” Merlin suggested.

“What, are you tired?” Arthur asked indignantly. No, Merlin was not tired but he could sense that Arthur was exhausted. He was just too proud to admit it so Merlin would have to step up. 

“I’m exhausted, please can we find somewhere to rest”

Arthur sighed, “Fine, lets find a clearing,” 

Merlin sighed as he slipped off the tree trunk and followed behind Merlin, gathering wood for a fire as they walked. 

Once they had found somewhere suitable Arthur settled down against a tree and watched as Merlin set up the wood he had collected, and starting a fire.

“I can’t believe I missed my chance to meet her” Arthur whispered as he gazed at the fire, Merlin was stocking. 

“For all you know she knows nothing about your mother” Merlin responded, still focused on the fire. 

“I guess so” He whispered before turning to face away from Merlin. Merlin sighed, running a hand over his face.

Merlin sat cross legged staring up at the night sky for a while, contemplating why his magic had reacted that way when he had touched him. He glanced over at Arthur, lying with his back to him, his breathing slow and steady.

He was asleep. There was no harm in testing it out. With that thought, Merlin quietly shuffled over next to him.

He leant over him, the fire light sent flickering shadows across his face, Merlin tried not to think about it but Arthur was quite beautiful, most would describe him as ruggedly handsome, but Merlin thought he was more ethereal. He commanded people's attention, for some reason Merlin wasn’t so happy about that.

Yet Merlin couldn’t help notice in this moment of vulnerability, he was evermore captivating. His face looked relaxed, a lot better than the displeased looks he was always throwing Merlin.

Merlin’s eyes trailed across his face. Arthur suddenly shifted in his sleep pulling Merlin out of his trance. Right, he needed to test what was going on with his magic. He reached his hand out and gently brushed his fingers against the nape of Arthur’s neck. His skin was cold under Merlin’s fingers but it still left a jolt of warmth through them. 

“What are you doing?” Arthur whispered sleepily, looking up at him through half lidded eyes. Merlin jumped, pulling his hand away, he turned his head and his cheeks red with embarrassment.

“You're freezing” He commented, forcing his voice to be steady.

“And you're warm,” Arthur said, turning his head away from him, his eyes fluttering shut, “You could share” he mumbled as he began to drift off to sleep again.

Merlin hesitated, he was sure Arthur was just rambling in his sleep, but he really was concerningly cold. Merlin shuffled down to lie next to him. He shifted so he was facing Arthur's back. He could channel his magic into Arthur and warm him up, but to do that he would have to touch him. 

He tenderly reached out and placed his hand on Arthur's arm, letting his magic settle into a comforting heat. 

And soon enough his eyes began fluttering shut as he joined Arthur in a peaceful sleep.

Chapter Text

Merlin couldn't breathe, some great weight was pressing down on his chest. Merlin's eyes shot open, searching frantically for whatever was attacking him. 

Finally his eyes landed on a mop of unruly blonde hair. Merlin shifted slightly causing Arthur to huff and bury his face deeper into Merlin's chest.

Sometime during the night Arthur must have rolled on top of him, with his fully weight on top of Merlin's torso. Their legs were tangled together, his hands that where resting on Merlin's waist moved up to clutch his shirt when Merlin shifted under him, in an attempt to stop his new pillow from escaping.

Merlin froze, realising their awkward position, for reasons unknown to him he felt his face flush. He ever so slowly, not wanting to wake the sleeping prince, lifted his hand up and gently brushed his fingers across Arthur's soft locks, moving them away from his face. 

Strange complicated feelings stirred deep in his chest, that he wasn't quite ready to unpack. For now he settled for gently stroking his prince's hair.

He smiled for a second.

The moment didn't last long however because the prince began to stir. Merlin quickly dropped his hand, squeezing his eyes shut and pretending to still be asleep. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to hide it, if anything this was more embarrassing for Arthur. 

Arthur shifted around for a moment and Merlin felt him lift his head and felt as though Arthur's eyes lingered on him for a moment. 

Ever so quietly Merlin felt Arthur slowly push himself up and roll off of Merlin. 

Merlin waited a minute before he determined that it had been long enough to safely open his eyes. He made a whole show of sitting up, stretching and yawning as if he had only just woken up.

He looked around the clearing for Arthur, spotting him sitting against the tree furthest from him, his arms wrapped around his knees, he was glaring at Merlin red faced like Merlin was the one who had wronged him, which was totally unfair because it was Arthur who had attempted to crush him in his sleep. This thought thoroughly pissed Merlin off so he decided to tease him a little.

"Why are you sitting all the way over there?" Merlin asked.

Arthur spluttered before quickly changing it into an arrogant scoff, "Why would I have to explain myself?"

"You're right, of course, how did you sleep?" Merlin smiled innocently at Arthur. He had completely disregarded his own flustered state when he had discovered their awkward sleeping arrangements and had turned entirely too hypocritical.

"Great, I mean fine....it was...normal" He cleared his throat awkwardly, decidedly not looking at Merlin. Merlin could never know just how well Arthur had slept.

Merlin stood up and stretched, his limbs felt sore and cramped from being someone's mattress.

"If we want to get back before your father knows you left, we need to go now, especially since we have lost the horses" 

Arthur stood looking rather downcast as he kicked dirt over the dying embers of their fire.

They begin the walk in silence. After about an hour Merlin began to feel angsty, they had been walking for so long and Arthur hadn't bugged him once, normally Arthur would have found a reason to tease him, if not found something to complain about. In the past, Merlin had wished for a quiet journey without Arthur's incessant whining, but now he was beginning to realise just how empty traveling felt without hearing his voice. 

Merlin kept anxiously glancing over at Arthur who walked staring at the ground, his face blank and unreadable. This was unacceptable. 

"What's wrong?" Merlin asked, the sudden noise made Arthur jolt, his hand automatically going for his sword. He relaxed, dropping his hand away from the hilt.

"Nothing. I'm fine" Arthur responded bluntly.

"Are you upset you didn't get a chance to talk to Morgause" Merlin guessed, and based on Arthur's face he was bang on point.

"No" He lied.

"I may be a servant, but I'm also your friend, you can tell me," Merlin responded. He reached out to comfort him, but he froze, his hand remaining suspended uselessly for a second before he dropped it back to his side.

"I wanted to know what she had to say, I've missed my chance" He said in a hushed voice.

"But she had magic..." 

Arthur looked at him expectantly.

"... and sorcerers are liars who knows what poisons she could twist your mind with" Merlin said, it sounded dramatic but it was best not to let anyone see him aligned with sorcery, even if he went overboard.

"I guess, I'm not so sure what to believe anymore" Arthur muttered under his breathe, not intending for Merlin to hear him, and if Merlin didn't have magic he wouldn't have.

Merlin turned away from Arthur the corner of his mouth twitched up. Arthur wasn't sure.

It was a start.