Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The Muppet World Tour was going well. Somehow.

It wasn’t quite “Radical” or “Gnarly to the Max”, though.

Audiences didn’t seem overly thrilled from what glimpses 80s Robot could get (he got worse stage fright than Walter did at the Telethon, and unlike Walter, it never improved), and overall it seemed like a different brand of chaotic than normal. Anything the Muppets did led to chaos no matter what, but it was a somewhat controlled chaos that had a pattern if you knew what to look for. 

The pattern had been gone since Berlin. This was bad chaos: the bad-bad kind, not the good-bad kind. The kind that gets produce thrown at your performers and that theater owners threaten to end your lease early over.

After the show in Madrid, 80s Robot realized the cause: Kermit was not acting like himself. He wasn’t managing the show like normal. Kermit always meticulously planned, picked, chose, and tweaked every act on his show to ensure it was the best it could be (and make sure that property damage and injuries were kept to a minimum). Now though? He was letting them do anything and everything they wanted, even up to and past outright dangerous things like letting bulls loose in the theater.

Kermit also had a cold right now which might be a contributing factor. Tours were stressful, and traveling in general exposed you to lots of germs. But he has never let go of the reins this much even when he was under the weather.

And the way he talked was different. Head colds don’t change someone’s accent or how they word the sentences they say. At least, not the ones he knew of. (He remembered a story he’d been told of a virus that went around turning everyone into chickens.)

Was Kermit burnt out after being so out of practice? He couldn’t tell you how long it had been exactly, but 80s Robot knew it had been years since the Muppets had put on shows like this regularly.

It was concerning. 80s Robot had been programmed to be concerned, considering he was built to be his butler, valet, and assistant, of course, but he felt it went beyond his hardwiring. 80s Robot was not built to be fully autonomous like he was today; his sentience was a happy accident because nothing Dr. Honeydew invents works quite as intended. And similar to an organic brain, 80s Robot had to learn about the world around him over time and Mr. Kermit was the main person that was present for it.

It was hard to catch Kermit these days alone and without that Dominic guy around. He was supposed to be helping manage the show too and taking some of the load off of Kermit’s shoulders, but 80s Robot had yet to see him do much to help with the show or organize the tour. (His presence also made him feel some robotic form of jealousy because helping Mr. Kermit was his job. He and Scooter at least had an agreement on which tasks they’d split between each other. Dominic wanted to take over everything.)

“Mr. Kermit, I must ask. Are you doing alright?”

“I am fine,” he said in a voice (and accent) that still didn't sound right. “Why do you ask me?”

“It’s, like… my job?” Kermit should have known that… unless he was speaking metaphorically. “You seem… off.”

“I said it earlier, I have head cold.”

“I’m here to help so you don't take on too much.”

"I will be fine,” Kermit said, waving him off. This was a very common reaction he got, albeit usually not this gruff.

However, 80s Robot had a trump card up his non-existent sleeve. He wasn’t afraid to pull it when it came to his boss’s well-being.

“That’s what Mr. Henson said.”

It always struck a chord with Kermit, a sensitive one at that, and that was what made it so effective. It made him listen. Kermit would always either concede or at least reassure him that he was taking care of himself (usually with some sort of complaint about that comment being a low blow). Maybe you wouldn’t call it a positive reaction, but it got the reaction that 80s Robot was looking for.

It was not the reaction he got here.

The frog gave him a completely blank look and asked, “Who?”

It took nine seconds for 80s Robot to process this unexpected input and form his response.  “Mr. Henson.” He must not have heard, he concluded.

“Robot, I heard you first time, I do not know who you are talking about.”

Concern switched to alarm. Not only was his syntax inconsistent, but now Kermit didn’t remember Mr. Henson? The man who had worked with Kermit from the very beginning, right up until his death? The one who helped form the Muppets in the first place? Mr. Henson’s death was one of the catalysts that led to the Muppets scattering (but far from the only one). Kermit would never forget Mr. Henson. That did not compute. 

“...Mr. Kermit, you used to work with him. Very closely, for, like, years.”

It took eleven seconds for the frog’s expression to change from blank confusion, and when it did, it didn’t seem natural. It was overexaggerated, like it was an act. He knew what acting looked like, and this was not an example of it being well done. “Ohh, yes, I remember now! Good ol’ Mr. Henson, ” he said, overemphasizing how he pronounced the name. “How could I forget. I wonder how he is doing these days.”

Okay, something was wrong. Either Kermit was way sicker than he realized, or…

This was not Kermit.

There were too many inconsistencies, too many things that didn’t line up. He had seen Kermit with a cold. He had seen Kermit while stressed and overworked. He had seen Kermit with a cold while also stressed and overworked. This did not resemble Kermit in any of these circumstances. He could not recognize this person as Kermit.

“Okay,” was all he said. He backed away, only to discover that there was a wall behind him.  “Grody to the max.” Talk about bad timing.

The frog he could no longer recognize as Kermit made his exit before 80s Robot had the chance to make his own. “ Strannyy robot,” he said as he walked off, shaking his head.

…Did he just get called a strange robot in a foreign language again? He would have to look that one up later and find out which language it actually was…

He was getting distracted! Kermit didn’t pepper his speech with foreign phrases! 

Going through his recent memory now that he was alone, he realized that the last instance he truly recognized Kermit was back in Berlin—before Dominic had suggested he take a walk, to be specific…

Something happened.

It was a bold leap for him to make on his own, and he didn’t want to act on this conclusion without talking to someone else first. Someone he trusted…

Constantine retreated to the privacy of his own cabin. “Number Two, I think the robot is onto me.”

Dominic stared at him. “Are you serious right now? That WALL-E reject?”

“Do I ever make joke?”

Chapter Text

“Walter dipped?!” 80s Robot cried, not realizing how loud he was being. There weren't that many places for someone to hide while riding a train.

“Yeah, man, just up and–” Zoot gestured upward with his thumb and clicked his tongue. “No goodbye or anything.”

Well, that plan was toast. Walter was 80s Robot’s go-to because he always listened to what he had to say. They hadn't known each other for very long, but Walter was one of the few people 80s Robot considered a genuine friend.

And he could tell Walter had been confused over Kermit’s behavior recently, too. He was the only one who hadn’t run off in celebration earlier after Kermit had just told everyone how well the show in Madrid went and also announced the next tour location. 80s Robot couldn’t understand why at the time and stuck around out of concern, but looking back on it, it was starting to make sense.

If Walter was gone, then who else could he turn to? 

Dr. Honeydew was out. Ever since he’d been given free reign for his sketch, his tinkering and inventions had become even more deranged and questionable—and as one of his creations himself, 80s Robot did not want to become involved in that tinkering. Beaker was too timid and would bring Dr. Honeydew into this before acting on his own. 

And Miss Piggy, for all she was, was not a good option here. 80s Robot would never say it out loud because it would end in him getting smacked across the room, but she was too gullible when it came to anything involving Kermit. Especially when “Kermit” was being more affectionate than ever with her.

“Fozzie,” he said to no one. He picked him at complete random, but as soon as he did, reasons it was a good idea came to him on their own. He knew Kermit really well, he was his best friend, he would know if something strange was going on. 

Pepe overheard though, and chimed in, “Uhhh, yeah, he left too.”

“No way.” 

“Yeah way.”

“...Why?”

“I dunno, he didn’t say anything either.”

Floyd walked by before he could react. “Hey, has anyone seen Animal? He didn’t even show up for dinnertime.”

Animal loves eating almost as much as he loves playing the drums.

…Animal had been weirdly aggressive towards Kermit recently, hadn’t he?

80s Robot tried to curse. However, he had a language filter built into him (in the form of direct orders) that he was only able to get around in situations where life and limb were immediately and clearly at stake. This was not one of those cases (yet), so all he managed to do was emit a sound that could only be described as a strangled dialup modem.

“Dude, seriously?” Someone called from across the train car. “People’re tryin’ to sleep!” Rats and boomerang fish being thrown through the air was one thing, but dialup noises were simply too much.

That’s three people who had gone missing in the span of…six hours? 80s Robot’s calendar might be broken, but his internal clock still worked. 

Kermit’s best friend, his biggest fan, and… well, Animal is just Animal. But Animal was not doing normal Animal things right before.

Two of those three people had shown suspicion towards Kermit and his recent behavior at one time or another.

This felt like one of those horror movies he had watched against his better decision making.

Was the robotic butler next?

Chapter Text

“Robot, come with me,” said the frog that was not Kermit. 

80s Robot froze in place, having not realized that he was even nearby. (That would never happen with Mr. Kermit.) This was not Kermit. He didn’t have to do what he was told by him.

“Robot, come.” 

The robot did not come. He did not need to come. So, the robot only stared. 

He noticed that the strange frog had bandages and bruises in several places that were not there when he last talked to him. And was that a bite mark? A deep one at that… Like he had been trying to fight off some kind of beast, earlier…

If this had been Kermit, 80s Robot would have been horrified. Injuries of such severity were uncommon around here, even with how many risky and dangerous stunts happened on a regular basis. This was not Kermit, however, and he knew it. 

80s Robot was more concerned about what the other guy looked like.

The frog looked off like he was trying to remember something.  “Come…? …Follow? What word—” Then, he gave a defeated but still annoyed sigh. “...Please.” He said it as though through gritted teeth. “I require help.”

Then again, 80s Robot was still programmed to follow requests. Especially when it was two and a half hours until showtime.

“Okay, Kermit.” he said with hesitance. Not Mr. Kermit. Just Kermit. Perhaps this frog was also named Kermit, but it was not his Kermit, and thus did not get the title.

He still had to follow requests, though, so he followed the request and the frog who had made it.

…Right to where Dr. Honeydew and Beaker were currently working. Alright, he would admit that he’d been avoiding them just a little bit lately. Mostly Dr. Honeydew. The last time 80s Robot had been around him, the magnetic bomb-attracting vest he had invented inadvertently attracted him instead. (He was mostly made from plastic, too!) But helping them was better than following this strange frog who— 

“Bunsen. Your robot, it is malfunctioning.”

80s Robot’s eyes widened. He wasn’t malfunctioning! He knew what it was like when something broke. Granted, he knew this because he tried to hide it most of the time, but he knew his own body. Unnecessary repairs lead to unnecessary tinkering, and—

—Wait.

Kermit never called him “it”, either. At least, not since he first realized 80s Robot had developed a mind of his own. That day was back in 1985, which he knew was over fifteen years ago! He had lost count of the number of years after 1999, but he knew it had been a long time since then.

Another inconsistency!

“Nothing’s wrong with me,” 80s Robot insisted, fully aware that was what he always said when someone brought him directly to Dr. Honeydew for repairs.

“Oh, that’s what you always say,” Dr. Honeydew said as though to confirm it. He was already waving it off and looking him over anyway. “What seems to be the problem today?”

“It is acting strange.” Not-Kermit turned to look directly at him. If his gaze wasn’t chilling enough, his next sentence certainly was, one he had been hoping he wouldn’t hear: “It does not recognize me.”

This wasn't a mistaken malfunction; this was a cover-up!

80s Robot really didn’t want to have to say anything like this with Not-Kermit around. It was too risky. But if he didn’t speak up now, then he wouldn’t remember any of this. “No-no-no-no-no-no-no—”

“And an auditory glitch…” Dr. Honeydew noted.

Beaker meeped a suggestion that the robot could currently be panicking instead.

“You-don’t-understand!” he said, his voice modulation becoming choppier from the urgency of the situation. He had to get this out now, but the pressure made it harder to form words to talk. “That’s-really-not-Kermit!”

“Oh, 80s Robot, he’s just a little beat-up! Nothing you haven’t seen before.”

“You see what I mean,” Not-Kermit said. It was a statement, an observation of a fact. Not a question.

“That’s very strange, indeed, for him to forget his master…”

“Yes, you see problem… Very good, very good…”

It was not strange! He had not forgotten who his boss Mr. Kermit is! And Mr. Kermit did not like using the word “master”! But how could 80s Robot explain it all in a way that didn’t sound completely outrageous?

“Something’s-not-right-with-Kermit!” He wiggled his arm out of Beaker’s hold to point at Not-Kermit. “He-forgot-Mr-Henson!”

“Don’t be silly, 80s Robot! Kermit would never forget Jim Henson!” He gently pushed the robot arm currently in his face out of the way. “Alright, Beaker, let’s get him onto the worktable, now.”

Beaker meeped about how strange this entire interaction was.

Why, oh why did Dr. Honeydew always have to insist on using the worktable for repairs? He felt like Frankenstein’s Monster while strapped to that thing, albeit without the disgust and rejection from his creators. And how had they snuck a giant metal table with a motorized tilting mechanism onto the train? They had a luggage limit for a reason. (A fact which Miss Piggy had happily ignored.)

“Beaker!” 80s Robot turned to his other creator, who tended to be a bit softer and gentler. “You have to believe me! Something is seriously up–!”

Beaker put up his hands and meeped at him, trying to get him to calm down a little. Reassure him that things would be okay.

“Fozzie-! Animal-! Walter-! Think-!” So much information to convey, so little time left. “Why-would-they-leave-?”

Beaker shook his head and meeped an apology. It was strange, yes, but correlation did not equal causation…

The fight left him. 

Beaker was still on Dr. Honeydew’s side—and by extension, Not-Kermit's.

Nobody believed him, and nobody ever would because Dr. Honeydew was reaching for his pause button and

[SIGNAL LOST]

Chapter Text

80s Robot suddenly popped back into awareness, in a different place and position than his last memory. About an hour and a half had passed since he last remembered anything. Even then, what was still there was fuzzy and details were missing.

His optics were beginning to finally focus when he heard hushed meeping. Dr. Honeydew was in his peripheral vision, too, with his back turned.

“...never done that before, though. How do we know…” was all 80s Robot could parse from the doctor’s reply.

Beaker was about to suggest something, but instead cut himself off by saying that “he” was back.

“Oh, goody, you’re awake!” Dr. Honeydew said, louder now. 80s Robot turned his head and saw that both scientists were looking at him now. He was evidently the “he” Beaker was talking about. “You had me worried, seeing you panicking about… well, something very strange. How are you doing now?”

An odd feeling of betrayal washed over 80s Robot upon being asked that, but it disappeared almost as fast as it came. “Fine,” he said before immediately wandering off. He didn’t want to stay here, for some reason.

Everything was fine.

80s Robot was fine. Totally tubular. Radical, even. Nothing was wrong, and the tour was going smoothly. Gnarly to the Max!

And yet, it felt like something wasn’t right.

He couldn’t pinpoint it. Whenever he tried to think about it, something else would come in and wave the thought away like smoke. He had been worried about something earlier, but he couldn’t remember what it was now. It was something he had considered important, too.

Walter was gone. He had left, which was normal and not something to worry about. He was only like, the most passionate fan of the Muppets ever and was stoked to be considered one of them, and he just dipped. This was a normal thing a person would do. For sure. Fozzie had left. The bear who had been Kermit’s best friend for years and had never shown any interest in ever going solo again after everyone was back together. The same Fozzie that had seeked out a knock-off group to be a part of to fill the gap left behind when everyone split up. He had split now, and this was fine. Animal had gone missing. 80s Robot didn’t know the full backstory, but Floyd had practically raised Animal himself and the Electric Mayhem as a whole was Animal’s family. The Electric Mayhem weren't going anywhere, but Animal left anyway. Animal, who was territorial over his drums to an extent that deterred 80s Robot from testing them out–despite his own interest in playing them. This was totes normal.

All three of them had bounced at seemingly the same time. This wasn’t suspicious at all and only a coincidence. It all computed just fine. Every 1 and 0 matched up.

So why didn’t it feel right?

Why didn’t the bigger picture add up?

They were on their way to London now. The frog that was most definitely Mr. Kermit had proposed to Miss Piggy at the end of tonight’s show. A show of which 80s Robot couldn’t make himself assist with or even really pay attention to this time around due to what he could only describe as a fog around his mind.

The proposal was public and flashy. In the past, Mr. Kermit hadn’t liked public and flashy, especially for matters of love. On the other hand, Miss Piggy adored such a thing. Love was something 80s Robot still struggled to grasp (and what he did grasp seemed only fun to romanticize in cheezy songs and movies and awful to actually experience), but sometimes lovers did things they themself didn’t like if it meant it would make the other one happy, didn't they?

And marriage proposals were supposed to be the ultimate expression of love.

It had to be fine then, right?

Chapter Text

Something didn’t feel right about the whole wedding ceremony, but once again whatever it was kept getting pushed down before 80s Robot could properly process it. 

This was supposed to be huge; Kermit—his boss—and Miss Piggy had been on again and off again with their relationship for such a long time. This was supposed to show that once and for all, they were committed. 80s Robot could remember the years Kermit spent moping on his own after that one really bad falling out with her, years he could no longer correctly count.

This should be a happy event, something he should be stoked about because it meant Mr. Kermit was happy and wished it to stay that way. But he felt nothing, and not in the robots-aren’t-supposed-to-have-emotions way. Whatever was blocking his thoughts was also keeping him from reacting correctly to this occasion.

As a result, he spent most of the ceremony trying to unravel this knot instead of paying attention.

Beaker, sitting in the row in front of him, turned around to check on him. He flicked 80s Robot on the forehead to make sure he hadn’t frozen.

Fine, he’d pay a little bit of attention, if he had to.

“And do you, Miss Piggy, take Kermit the Frog to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness, and in health, so help you God?”

Her voice came out hoarse and uneasy. “I… I…”

…Miss Piggy? Of the two at the altar, 80s Robot never imagined that it would be her who choked at the “I do” stage.

Mr. Kermit leaned in and whispered something to her.

“I… I do?”

The bishop raised his eyebrows. “I’m sorry, is that a question?”

A trap door opened from underneath Mr. Kermit and he dropped down, only to pop back up a second later.

“Piggy, it’s me, Kermit, we have to go! The wedding is off!” 

This was strange behavior.

Miss Piggy reacted as expected—that is, baffled and angry.

Something yanked Mr. Kermit from behind the Bishop. “I can't believe you would—wait, where are you going?” she asked.

Kermit re-emerged from behind the pastor, sighing and indignant. “I’m sorry my dear, forgive me.” 

This was normal behavior.

“What is going on??”

Walter came swinging in from the right with a rope, snatching Kermit up. “Gotcha!” He dropped the frog into a rope net. “Pull, Animal, pull!”

“Catch froggy, catch froggy!”

“Well, this is the best Muppet wedding ever!” someone from across the chapel hollered.

This was strange again.

Kermit reappeared from stage left. “Piggy, listen! That’s not me, I’m me–”

The Kermit in the net bit through and dropped down, landing on the Kermit from stage left.

This was---

—Yeah, this was still strange.

Both stood back up as Miss Piggy gaped.

“Two Kermits?!” Scooter exclaimed. A moment later, “That explains a lot.”

Wait a second—

Two Kermits! 

80s Robot remembered now! 

Kermit had been acting strangely the past week or so, to the point 80s Robot couldn’t even recognize him as Mr. Kermit anymore! Something had sprung loose in his mind and everything made sense again.

“How. Can there be. Two. Kermits!? ” Miss Piggy demanded. “Of all the ways to ruin a wedding–”

The chapel erupted into confused muttering.

Things were flooding back to him now. The strange conversation about Mr Henson…

“ Would everyone be QUIET!” Miss Piggy shouted, startling him out of his thoughts. After a pause, she shrugged. “Well, there’s only one sure way to settle this.”

She turned to the Kermit that had dropped from above. “First Kermit!” She looked down briefly. “Will you… Marry me?”

First Kermit answered immediately, and with confidence. Too much confidence. “Yes, of course, let’s go! The helicopter is waiting, my love!”

To the robot’s surprise, the pig did not immediately elope with this Kermit–despite him saying exactly what she would have wanted to hear. “And you– the other Kermit.” She looked him in the eyes and asked the same question: “Will you… marry me?”

The other Kermit— Mr. Kermit—became a stammering mess. “Well, I mean—I mean— uh, I-I mean– I-I-I would, uh, I-I could, it’s not—it’s not that I—”

Miss Piggy gasped. “That’s my Kermit!” she exclaimed, tackling him to ground and smothering him in kissy-kissies before he could stammer out another word.

Applause erupted from the entire chapel, and 80s Robot couldn’t help but join in. Emotions were coming back now, too.

80s Robot remembered how strange it was for three of Mr. Kermit’s most loyal friends to up and leave with no warning…

The Not-Kermit looked up, then scowled. He turned to the crowd and stepped forward, wiping something off of his upper lip. A prominent mole was now visible on the right. Everyone gasped, recognizing who it was immediately.

“That is right, Moppets !” Constantine sneered.

…and 80s Robot remembered how Dr. Honeydew had ignored and dismissed his objections as Constantine tricked him into wiping his memory.

Constantine made a show of lifting a remote of some sort and pressing a button on it. 80s Robot picked up a radio signal to activate something. Before he could wonder what it was, Mr. Kermit yelled, “It's a bomb!”

—He’d have to unpack that last part later.

Everything happened too fast for him to process. Dr. Honeydew activated his bomb-attracting vest, Piggy went flying across the room and stuck to it, a massive tug-of-war ensued, and then Beaker went flying out the window.

The bomb exploded harmlessly in the River Thames.

What was important now was that the bomb was gone! The real Mr. Kermit was here! He had been right to suspect something all along! And now Constantine was taking Miss Piggy hostage as revenge!

—waitwaitwait that last part was BAD

Everyone else raced to the roof, leaving 80s Robot behind. Stairs and ladders were his mortal enemies. He could not use them to go up, only fall down them when he didn’t notice them there. He had his ways to get around them, of course (he was a Muppet, after all), but those methods were situational and could take a while, especially in an unfamiliar place like the Tower of London. 

He did, however, make it up there in time to watch as a Siberian prison guard confronted Kermit for supposedly organizing the biggest prison escape in the prison’s history.

What.

She could not, however, arrest every single Muppet, so she was forced to let him go, under one condition…

...putting on a show in the gulag Mr. Kermit had escaped?

Things were already about as weird as they could get, 80s Robot supposed.

Chapter Text

“I’m terribly sorry, my dear robot, you were right after all,” Dr. Honeydew said as he worked. “I really did think this was one of your malfunctions.”

Unlike earlier, he did not put 80s Robot into pause mode in order to undo this recent adjustment to his mind. Such adjustments were considerably easier to do while he was ‘live’, so to speak, so the effects could be noted in real time as they were made instead of trying to do everything at once. 

It was also a minor courtesy to him, since getting paused and unpaused always left him disoriented for a while afterwards. Another potential courtesy was the fact that he was not currently strapped to The Table. 80s Robot was upright and on the ground, as he should be.

These were facts that he noted further down the line, but at the moment he was not paying attention to those. Now that he could think freely again, he was still trying to process what the heck happened over the last several days.

“So 80s Robot caught on, too, then?” It was Mr. Kermit’s voice. He desperately wanted to turn his head towards the sound so he could see him too and not just hear him, but alas, he could not. Moving your head around while someone was actively poking around inside it was a terrible idea and the servos in his neck were currently locked.

“It appears so,” Dr. Honeydew said. “It took a little longer than the three from earlier, but he indeed figured it out before the rest of us ever did. And I should have listened to him, not that foul—ugh!”

Beaker meeped yet another apology to both robot and frog (for what had to be the ninth time to 80s Robot specifically).

Unable to see his boss’s expression, 80s Robot tried to imagine what it would be with only partial success.

“I don’t know whether to be proud of him or mad at everyone else,” he said. “...I think it’s both, actually.” There was another pause, and 80s Robot felt/heard a pat on his shoulder.  “Good job, 80s Robot.” He could picture Mr. Kermit nodding to himself.

Mr. Kermit’s approval! One of the highest forms of recognition he could get! Granted, this wasn't necessarily impossible to attain, but it was still one of his highest priorities. Maybe he really was a slave to his programming, but sometimes that wasn’t such a bad thing. 80s Robot put his hand out in the direction he heard the voice coming from while hoping he didn’t accidentally hit him. “Thank you, sir.”

Thankfully, the moment was not ruined by him hitting his boss (this time). He felt Mr. Kermit grab his thumb to shake his hand. “I’ve told you, you can just call me Kermit.”

“ Mister Kermit.”

“...You’ve been calling me that for the past twenty-nine years, I should really know better than to think you would change.” 80s Robot associated that tone with a scrunched face, but it wasn’t an angry scrunch. Just an exasperated but caring scrunch.

“Is he okay now?” The sound of Walter’s voice came closer. Things had evidently slowed down enough for Walter to properly check in on him (although the manly Muppet had heard what happened to him in his absence).

“Indeed! I just finished undoing the last adjustment!” Dr Bunsen said as he shut the panel on 80s Robot’s head with a click .

80s Robot shook his head and finally looked in the direction he had wanted for the past three minutes. He was relieved to see that Kermit was still standing there. (For whatever reason, he had an unusually strong desire to stay near the frog.)

“Hey, I’m sorry,” Walter said. “If I had known you thought something was up, I would’ve taken you with, but Constantine went and—”

“--Attacked you guys,” the robot finished. Animal, uninjured, was quite pleased to tell everyone, “Animal bite bad froggy! Save bear and new kid!” Fozzie was just as quick to mention how difficult it was to pull the enraged drummer off of Constantine so they could actually escape. “I know.”

“Yeah…” Even with the circumstances clear, it looked like Walter was still feeling guilty about it.

“Not your fault. I didn't know until you were gone.”

“Still…”

“That's 80s Robot for you,” Kermit said. “It might take him a little longer to get to the right answer, but he does get to it.”

“We made him to be quite reliable,” Dr. Honeydew boasted.

“And you’re sure you undid everything you did to my assistant while I was gone?” Kermit asked.

“Positive! He’s good as new!” the doctor said as he closed his toolbag and walked around from behind him. Everyone stared at him, Beaker and 80s Robot included. “Well, relatively speaking,” he said with a shrug. 

More silence.

Dr. Honeydew began reaching for him. “Perhaps I should keep him under observation for a while, just to be sure there are no lasting effects from this little—”

“Stay away from me,” 80s Robot said as he put his arms up and backed away, surprised by how much force he had put behind the statement. Especially to his creator, of all people.

“... misunderstanding…?” Dr. Honeydew froze, then slowly retracted his hand. His shock was only outmatched by Beaker, who had shrunk down into his collar. Dr. Honeydew put a hand to his mouth. “Oh dear…”

80s Robot found that he could only stay in that exact position, as though his own existence depended on it. He saw that his arms were trembling rather than felt it happening.

A small orange hand appeared on his shoulder. The tremors stopped, but his arms remained locked in place. He turned his head just enough to see the rest of Walter–Kermit just a distance behind him–while still keeping Dr. Honeydew and Beaker in his peripheral.

“Uhhh… how about we keep an eye on 80s Robot for a while and report back to you instead?”

Bunsen looked to Beaker, back at 80s Robot, and then replied, “That might be the better option, actually…”

Only then was 80s Robot able to put his arms back down to their neutral position. That was odd, for him to go into his defense pose like that. But it felt like if Dr. Honeydew got too close, it would happen again…

“Come on, we're almost at the station,” Walter said as he guided the robot to another car.  “Let's go see if anyone needs help.”

Walter stole a glance backwards and 80s Robot happened to notice the two scientists’ reflections in the window. Beaker had emerged from inside his shirt and was turned to Dr. Honeydew, who was in almost the exact same position as before, just looking down.

He simply took note of this fact and put it aside for later. For now, everyone was together again.

Again.