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There was a while that Dickory thought his older brother had just abandoned the family. Doc had abandoned them all just to go sleep with some man. He used to scoff and fake sneeze at that very idea. He used to think that something like that was disgusting. He used to hate Doc for leaving them and choosing to be like that.
Dickory used to think that it was good that he never went and tried talking to Doc himself about seeing him kiss that trucker. Glad he went straight to his parents when he assumed Doc was being taken advantage of. He didn't want to hear from Doc himself about how he actually enjoyed being with other men like that! Didn't want to hear all of the things he thought just made it soooooo great.
Disgusting.
They were better off without him. They didn't need him. Mutti forgot he ever even existed. Vater was always disappointed in the eldest, anyways. The only person was Hickory, but he was just too young to be told the truth about everything. He just wanted those fairy tales Doc used to tell him all the time.
It was only for Hickory's sake that he saved all of those photos of Doc. Nothing else. Dickory didn't need them. Doc had betrayed him, using their hunts as an excuse for some... some dirt hook-up. No. Dickory hated Doc.
But the day Vater tried to hit him was the day his thoughts on Doc started to shift.
Vater always had a temper. He knew that. But Dickory had never angered him. Dickory always met expectations. He never disappointed. Doc was the one who always seemed to upset their father. Not him.
But Vater had gotten angry about something. What it was didn't matter, because he'd forget about it. What he would remember was Vater swung at him. He hadn't expected a blow from his father. Definitely not like that. It hit him hard in the side of his head, and Dickory's fighting instincts took over.
The teen Yodeler spun around and kicked. He kicked hard. Vater was launched away and fell to the ground. Father and son stared at each other wide-eyed. Dickory couldn't believe his father would just hit him like that. He'd known his father would lightly smack, maybe shove a bit, but that... that might leave a bruise under his hair. And god he kicked his father. He might have broken his ribs!
Vater clearly hadn't expected him to hit back, either. He stared at his son. Neither of them said or did anything for a long while. Then, Vater got up, dusted himself off, and limped back inside.
That was an eye opening for Dickory.
That was the moment he realized that maybe, maybe Vater did worse than just smack Doc upside the head and make him spend hours on meaningless chores.
And then he thought more on why Doc left. If Vater hit him like that as often as Dickory knew he was disciplined... Maybe that was the real reason he left. He left because their father beat him. Or... or maybe Vater was going to do something worse once he found out about Doc's interest in men. Maybe Doc left before their father could beat him worse than he'd ever been before.
And Dickory had spent all of this time hating him for it.
Doc probably wouldn't have even needed to run if Dickory hadn't told their parents about him and that trucker.
Dickory began to regret going to their parents instead of trying to talk to Doc about it. Maybe Doc had reasons for kissing that man. Maybe he really was being taken advantage of by that trucker. Vater wouldn't have been sympathetic about that! He would have scolded Doc for letting someone manipulate him like that!
The sympathy Mutti did have was probably lost the moment she found out Doc let a man do things like that to him.
If Dickory could have gone back with the knowledge he had now, he would have talked to Doc first. Let Doc explain himself before he went and snitched on him like that. Maybe Doc could have explained why he'd kiss a man in a way that wouldn't leave Dickory so confused. That sort of thing was disgusting. It wasn't the sort of thing Yodelers did.
"Dickory?"
He huffed. "[Eat your breakfast, Hickory.]"
"[But you're not eating.]"
"[I am eating.]"
Barely. Breakfast didn't taste as good as it used to. It was blander. Lunches and Dinners were, too. He'd thought that was because of his taste buds changing as he aged, but... the last time family meals had all of that flavor was when Doc was still there. Doc had taken the time to learn all of the family recipes from relatives before they all passed. And he found joy in cooking all of them.
He could almost swear Mutti was cooking with less flavor on purpose, just so the food wouldn't remind anyone of Doc.
There were more things he began to notice were different since Doc left. Especially with Hickory. Hickory didn't smile as much. He was quieter. And Gott, when was the last time he actually heard his baby brother laugh?
Dickory had forgotten how much Doc had actually looked after their baby brother. He'd looked after him when Mutti couldn't or wouldn't. There was once, when Hickory was one or two, he'd gotten sick. Really sick. It was one of those bad illnesses making a round that'd take out a few lives on its way out.
Vater didn't do anything for him. He insisted that he was already busy with his own work. "[That's a mother's job, anyway. She's taking care of him. Don't get in your mother's way.]"
Except Mutti wasn't doing anything to look after him. It was like she already accepted that he'd die from this. Maybe it was those old issues of hers coming back. Maybe she was hoping if he died she and Vater could try again for a daughter. Maybe both. Maybe something else. Whatever the reason, she wasn't doing anything for the poor, sick baby.
Doc was the one who looked after Hickory. Doc brought Hickory food. Bathed him. Held him. Stayed with him just about every waking moment. Dickory went out of the village to get the good medicine for him. The medicine that would actually help him feel better.
Vater had scolded them both. They should have gone out and hunted bounties, not worry about this! Doc especially got scolded for staying with Hickory like that. "[You're going to confuse him! Do you want him to confuse YOU for his mother? Do you want people to spread rumors around that he's really YOUR son?]"
Sometime after Hickory got better, Mutti became the doting, babying mother to Hickory that she was known to be now. But Doc had still acted a bit as Hickory's mother, didn't he? Picked things up when Mutti wouldn't. Told him bedtime stories every night they were home from a hunt . And it was Dickory's fault that Hickory didn't have that anymore.
Dickory had to try to make this right.
He wasn't as good at fairytales as Doc, but he'd still try to tell Hickory stories for as long as he wanted.
He wasn't as good of a cook as Doc, but he'd still try to make sure Hickory ate his food.
He didn't know how he was going to do it, but he was going to make sure Hickory would feel safe enough to laugh again.