Chapter Text
On the morning of the same day, Arthur opened his eyes to see Guinevere, reclining on her side, watching him. For a few moment, he lay in uncomplicated unknowing, until the events of yesterday descended on him like a mist.
He swallowed "Was I a unicorn?"
Gwen nodded.
"Then Merlin has magic." Arthur stared up at the canopy, trying to work out how he felt. There was an unsettled feeling, a tension: on the edge of revulsion, and there was warmth, love, undeniable now.
"He saved your life." Gwen reminded him, gently. "He must have been so frightened." Arthur remembered Merlin's face as he charged towards him.
"He was," he looked over at Gwen, "you must have been too. I made you hunt, I made you hurt. I'm sorry.... I don't know why I wanted to hurt you."
Tears welled in Gwen's eyes "I didn't really understand it either.... though I thought it might be that you were punishing me for avoiding you." It cut deep, Arthur felt a flash of anger: he let it flash, let it burn and rage and die down until it was nothing but an ember, barely aglow.
"Why were you avoiding me?"
"Because..... because being around you was making my worrying worse. I know that that's not how to deal with things, but when I tried to talk to you about how you were treating Merlin, you tried to make me doubt what I saw with my own eyes.... tried to make me doubt my ability to see." Guilt sat like a lodestone in Arthur's stomach, he let himself feel the weight of it.
"I did, I'm sorry Gwen, I was ashamed."
"You felt ashamed, about loving Merlin?" Gwen probed.
"Yes."
Gwen felt a rush of sympathy. "That sounds really painful. I'm sorry you felt that you had to hide that, it doesn't change how I feel about you."
Arthur glanced up, hopefully. "Does that mean you're going to stay?"
"I don't know" Gwen gazed at Arthur, considering. "You've been honest with me, I want to be honest with you as well. I think, ever since that night, when I betrayed you, when you grabbed me and reminded me that you could kill me... I've found it really hard to trust either of us. I have to love you; I don't have a choice, so how do I know if what I feel is love?
I take sleeping draughts to avoid the question. When I consented to lead the hunt, your delight at my acquiescence was startling. You've tried to unbalance me, make me doubt myself; you tether Merlin to you with little cruelties. You have always used the power you have, as a weapon against the ones you love.
I think my Lord, the problem is precisely that you are my Lord, that you were Merlin's master. You love so deeply, and yet the people you love cannot freely agree to be yours. Merlin should not fear death at your hands; neither should I."
Part of Arthur wanted to cling to Gwen, and beg her to stay, another wanted to demand she leave and never return, to spare him these tides of seething anger and guilt, quickly, before she says it first.
"I need to go for a walk." Gwen sighed "I'll be back for dinner."
That evening, Merlin and Gwaine were huddled together in bed.
"I'm sorry if I pushed too far." Merlin eyes darted up to Gwaine's.
"I'm a knight of Camelot" Gwaine murmured, slowly "I have hurt people like you, part of my job is to oppress magic users, to ensure they feel unsafe practicing their magic."
Merlin nodded. "That's true..... if it helps, I know how you feel. I poisoned Morgana, and I lied to Arthur as he began to question whether what he had been told about magic was true, so I could stop him killing Uther."
Gwaine stared into the distance "How do you deal with guilt?"
"I just let myself feel it." Gwaine sat with the shame of it, let it pass through him like a wave, then he felt Merlin climb on top of him, stared into ocean eyes.
"Gwaine.... I love you."
Relief.
"I love you too."
They kissed, and the world dissolved around them, until there was nothing left but the two of them.
"Merlin!" Arthur's voice came from outside. Merlin startled. Gwaine chuckled and shook his head.
"I don't think so..." He pulled Merlin back into his arms, and kissed him again.
"Merlin! I need to have a discussion with you and Gwen."
Hurriedly, Merlin pulled on his shirt and breeches, and met Arthur at the door "Can Gwaine come too?"
No!
"I suppose." Soon the three of them were walking back to Arthur's chambers.
"I'm sorry for nearly killing you Gwaine."
"Ahhh, don't worry about it." Gwaine reassured, generously.
Arthur did his best not to notice how Merlin was limping.
In the royal bedchamber, Arthur stood before the three of them.
"So, Gwen has said that neither you nor her should fear death at my hands, and I think she's right, but I don't know where to begin."
Merlin and Gwen traded glances.
"I guess there are a few different problems at hand." Merlin articulated carefully. "If you want your relationship with Gwen to be more equal... I think you probably need to make her an equal partner in the throne."
"And legalise divorce" Gwen added.
"Yeah" Merlin agreed
"Make spousal abuse illegal."
"Yeah."
"Get rid of the Scold's bridle, and the dunking stool." Merlin shuddered pleasantly at the memory; Arthur pretended not to see it.
"Find a fair way to work out what happens to children after a divorce."
"There's lots of things that need to happen." Merlin concurred.
Arthur felt a stab of panic. "This all sounds like you want to leave me." He sank into his seat.
Gwen bent down, put her hand on his knee "It's not, it's about creating a situation where I can choose to be with you."
"You want me to just take that on trust?"
"Yes."
Arthur rubbed the back of his head. "And what about Merlin?" He asked.
"Well that's obvious isn't it?" Gwaine interjected. "Permit magic in Camelot."
"It's not that simple"
"Why?" Gwaine raised an eyebrow at him.
"Magic users make constant attempts on my life, legalising magic would be a disaster."
"Except that murder is already illegal." Merlin countered, "And having magical allies to discover and prevent magical crimes is the best way to fight this. You have no idea how many attempts on your life I've prevented. Ban the crimes you want to prohibit, rather than enforcing a blanket ban on all magic."
"He is right though" Gwen cut in "Even if magic is only used legally, it still gives individuals a lot of power, and left unchecked that will lead to exploitation."
"Gwen...." Merlin had never felt so betrayed.
"I mean, think about it- imagine two farmers. One has magic, the other doesn't. The one with magic is going to be far more successful, and will eventually buy out the land of the farmer that doesn't."
Merlin's blood ran hot. "But that happens anyway! Magic isn't the problem! To solve that problem you'd have to get rid of money! Make all land communally owned."
Gwen hesitated, "I mean.... we should do that." Arthur put his head in his hands. “I answer to nobility, Gwen: the knights, their families. How could I make such a change when my power is dependent of their support. It would be my head on the block.”
“Gwaine and Elyan would continue to fight for you, you would have the support of Merlin.” Gwen argued.
“Some say I am the greatest sorcerer who ever lived.” Arthur glared at Merlin. Merlin held his gaze “No really, it’s true!”
“That’s not enough!” Arthur snapped “There's no way that what you're suggesting doesn't end in bloodshed, the nobles will raise an army.... and I will not turn on my knights!"
"You're right" Gwen admitted. "We cannot turn the nobles from their land, yet, and so we cannot legalise magic, without creating more harm." Merlin's stomach dropped. "But what could the benefits of magic be to Camelot?"
"I think precisely as you said.... farming becomes a lot easier, scarcity far less of a problem." Merlin thought. "Pretty much everything becomes a lot easier: healing, building.... there are many ways magic could benefit Camelot's citizens."
"Could we maybe, begin with a limited sanctioning of magic, within certain contexts?" Gwen questioned "Maybe.... some kind of education for those with magic?"
Merlin blinked in surprise "I guess.... but you'd also have to ensure loyalty to Camelot, and to non-magic users. My kind have been hunted like animals, it's likely they won't want to collaborate."
Here was the sticking point. Gwen turned the issue around in her head, examining it from every angle. "Well why do you want to collaborate?"
Merlin looked at the three of them; his heart swelled. "Because I love you, because all I want is to be accepted, because I want to make things better."
"I think that's the answer then. Love, community. Maybe non-magic users can be assigned to magic users, and educated alongside them. Maybe we choose suitable people, people who we think will be emotionally compatible, and who will work with the magic users, like an architect could work with someone who had mastered telekinesis, agriculture experts will work with those who have skills in nature and animal magic, those with medical knowledge and care skills will work with healers."
"You’d have to prevent abuse from happening in a system like that.” Merlin responded carefully “And you’d have to deal with attitudes from the non-magical towards the magical."
Gwen pondered, she could see his point. “There would need to be some kind of regular oversight” she acknowledged “possibly from people like you, Merlin, while those found to be unsuitable would not be taught… we should also put laws in place to protect magic uses, and we can prioritize education for the people of Camelot, to work on stigma...."
"But how can you reduce stigma, while most magic is still illegal?"
It was difficult. All of them could imagine the world they wanted to create, a world of healthy, happy, educated citizens, but every time you moved a piece, the puzzle became newly unsolvable. They could not deny the benefits of magic to the people of Camelot.... but equally they could not put them at risk of abuse.... they could not continue to oppress magic users.... and they could not risk the lives of the people in a war.
"I think the problem is the nobility." Gwaine pronounced from the corner of the room. "We cannot let them stand in the way of change, but Leon is my friend, and I have no desire to harm them."
Gwen shook her head. "We don't need to harm them. We can improve the lives for the people of Camelot, including magic users, with a limited legalisation of magic. We can give the royal lands and the forests back to the people. When we have abundance, we can set a heavy tax on food production, and then redistribute what we collect. As labour needs decrease, we can begin a program of education for Camelot's young. Our goal is to reduce dependency on nobility as much as possible, to create a situation where power is in the hands of the masses."
"And we need to continue to maintain our relationships with the noble families." Arthur added. "Prevent dissatisfaction. We have to give them some of what they want."
"What do they want?" Merlin questioned.
"They want power over others." Gwaine was blunt. "The people are forced to work for a nobleman, forbidden from leaving his land. We can't give them what they want. Your suggestion doesn't work Gwen, because, though happy and healthy and well fed, the serfs in your story are still at the mercy of the nobles, still vulnerable to violence from those who have begun to notice that their control is slipping. We have to get away from the idea that loyalty means maintaining unjust power. The only solution is to create a situation where the people are protected, where the people have martial power."
"We could use magic." Merlin suggested.
They stared at him. "Like a trained army of sorcerers?" Arthur asked incredulously.
"Maybe."
"But then they have all the power, that doesn't change anything!" Arthur was getting irritated.
"Then maybe.... what if I created a magical item, something that would bind magic, something that could only be opened through the consent of a group of people. That would require a word to be said by many. What if some of the magical users we trained were taught intensively in the use of offensive magic, for combat. This fetter would only be given to this type of sorcerer, who would have no ability to use their magic other than by consensus. Those who self-selected for such a position would be those who had consented to sacrifice their abilities, and once this consent had been given, they may not be unbound, except by consensus." Merlin was imagining such a system, realizing that he would have signed up to be this protector of his village if the offer had been given to him.
"There are still issues!" Arthur challenged "There are issues with all of it! What if the sorcerer in question collaborates with others, who force the people to utter the word! What if the people turn their weapon on someone undeserving?" Merlin thought of his many trips to the stocks, to the crowds that gathered for each execution in the marketplace. He could easily imagine such a situation.
"Well... we can establish a few highly trusted sorcerers to act as "watchers", who would maintain an observance using scrying, and I would also check in on the watchers.... using scrying."
Arthur stared at him.
"Well... what other option is there?" Merlin was suddenly defensive "We put power in the hands of the people, and we also maintain a surveillance of those who have power to wield."
"Who's watching us though?" Gwen asked "We're all of us susceptible to being corrupted."
Silence. The snake swallowed it's tail. It wasn't really an answerable question.
"I mean... you guys will check up on me....I could try and make something that would let you bind my magic by mutual agreement..... I see us as a bit like Anhora....." Merlin trailed off. "We set things up, create little communities where power is shared amongst the masses, and then we just kind of.... watch, and see, and intervene when things go wrong."
Gwen shifted, unsatisfied "I mean.... it's not perfect.......but I think it's as close as we're going to get."
Arthur still ached guiltily at the thought of going against his friends. "We need to make a solid plan, and we need to see if this item that you've suggested is actually buildable, if magic users would actually be on board. You’ve suggested a lot of changes, and I think implementing them will take a lot of time, and a lot of trial and error to see if any of this can work..... but I want to do right by both of you" He gestured to Gwen and Merlin "and by Camelot."
"Then you should probably legalise buggery as well." Gwaine winked at Merlin.
Arthur flushed. "I'll add it to the list."