Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Till is not a normal university student.

No, he has a huge secret.

One that only his best friend, who accidentally found out due to his annoying antics, knows.

Till is a huge fan of romance novels targeted at teen girls.

So when he and Ivan get into an accident and wake up to find themselves in such a novel, their whole lives.... change, to say the least.

Now that that's out of the way, let's go all the way to the beginning, shall we?

"Till.... Till!!" Ivan (almost) screams.

"What do you want, fucker??" Till asks nicely, as he looks up from his book. "It was just starting to get good."

Ivan looks down on him from Till's bed, as Till himself sits on the ground of his dorm. Till was lucky as his apparent roommate never showed up, so he had the dorm to himself. It allowed Ivan to sleep over sometimes, much to his dismay.

"Uh... we actually need to go to the lecture right now, it begins in... five minutes?" Ivan says with an apologetic smile on his face.

"What the hell man?? You said you would keep track of the time!" Till huffs out while quickly getting up from his spot on the floor, almost forgetting to place his bookmark in between the pages of his book as he closes it. He hurries to his closet where he stacks his secret stash of romance novels. Although he lives alone in his dorm, you may never know when an unexpected, unknowing visitor comes around. Only Ivan knows about his undisclosed hobby, because one time when Till was reading a novel with his noise cancelling headphones on, he didn't hear Ivan knocking. And so, the douchebag decided to burst through Till's precious door and caught him red handed (although Ivan didn't really seem to care, even calling it 'cute'. What the fuck??).

Ivan frowns. "Sorry Tillie.... I was too distracted watching something.. on, uh... my phone..." Ivan says while quickly darting his eyes left and right.

Till raises an eyebrow at this gesture, but decides to not question it any further. He wasn't really interested in what this freak was doing anyways, he was more interested in the continuation of his precious new novel.. he only had ten pages left to read!

"Alright alright, let's go quickly before we REALLY are too late. If we run we may still make it on time. And stop calling me Tillie for the millionth time." Till exclaims with a sigh.

Ivan only gives him his signature smile with his snaggletooth sticking out, and Till can distinguish this real smile from his usual fake one. Luckily for Till, he always gets the real smile, which is much prettier. Though he won't ever admit that, because that's gay.

As Ivan jumps off of the bed, Till is already waiting with his shoes on. He gives Ivan an annoyed glare which signals him to hurry up. Till's attendance hadn't been the best lately, so he had to try a bit harder in order to not get kicked out of his university. Anything to avoid going back home.

After Ivan was finally done (it only took ten seconds), they run out of the dorm. Fortunately for them, the dorms are only across the street from the campus. They should still be able to make it on time!

After pushing through the heavy entrance door, they keep running. For some reason, Ivan keeps giggling and Till has no idea why.

As they reach the gate with Ivan still giggling, Till decides to look back while still running. "What are you giggling at, shithead?"

Ivan looks at him with a grin on his face "You're still in your pajamas, Till." Ivan manages to say through his giggles.

Till looks down at his body to see his fluffy lilac pajamas still clinging to his body, and feels his face immediately burning up. He instantly faces a dilemma. Going to school like a total loser, or risk a possible suspension?

As he ponders and all the while still runs, he keeps looking at the ground, not noticing he had already reached the road.

He hears Ivan suddenly yell behind him, making him look up. Almost inches next to him is a truck coming in at full speed.

The only thing Till can do is just stand and watch. This is his end. He mutters a quick but shallow, "Fuck." as he sees his life flash before him. It wasn't much now that he looks back at it, although he does have few regrets. Is this really how it ends? In such a split second?

Bracing for the impact, he feels two arms clasping his body, trying to launch him away from the truck, which seems to be futile. 

Everything turns black.

Till feels awful. His whole body aches and he can't see well. He tries to open his eyes and lift his head, but his whole vision is a field of red. 

He sees a familiar shape lying close to him, arms wrapped around him.

It's Ivan.

Till quickly understands what is going on. Ivan tried to save him. Ivan, his best friend. His oh, so smart and talented friend, who had so much in store for the future. He was nothing like the loser Till was. Why... Why did he do this? Why did he try to save Till? Didn't he value his own life? Why were they both laying out in the cold, bloodied and bruised, dying? This was supposed to be a normal school day. A normal week, a normal month, a normal year, a normal life.

Till is in agony. Not only physically, but also emotionally, mentally. Everything is too much. The blood, the pain, Ivan's lifeless body slowly losing his grip on him.

Till tries to call for help, but no sound comes out of his mouth. He's tired. He doesn't want to do this anymore. It's okay, he has accepted this fate. But if there's a God, if there is one small chance he does exist, then please, please grace him and Ivan. Please don't let it end like this, so unfair, so sudden. In any case, just saving Ivan is okay. He didn't deserve this, his beautiful soul who only tried to save Till in exchange for his own life. Just him is fine.

Till thinks his final thought as tears run down his bloodied cheeks. He drops his head, closes his eyes, and accepts his fate, as everything goes black for the final time.

Till wakes up.

Wait a second... He wakes up??

Till shoots upright as he roams his hands all over his body to check if this is reality or not. Is this the afterlife? 

He looks around and stares with his eyes wide open and his mouth agape. Why the fuck is this room so huge???? His bed is queen sized- no, king sized- no... giant sized?? He has a whole ass living room INSIDE his bedroom, an attached bathroom, a walk in closet, and everything is laced in white and gold??

Till looks around once more, but he is so, so confused. Why does it look like he woke up in some random ass romanticism painting??

As he tries to recall his final memories, he falls back down onto the bed. He stares at the ceiling, hands clasping his arms. He was in an accident. Ivan died for him. They both died. And now... he got reincarnated or some shit?

He stares and stares at the ceiling, agonizing, grieving, and thinking as tears leave his eyes.

What is he supposed to do now? Isn't he selfish if he tries to keep on living..? Shouldn't he have time to grieve over his best friend? Why was HE thrown in such a situation like this... he clearly asked for Ivan to be graced.. Or could it be.. That they were both here..?

"Hah." Till scoffs. As if. the universe hates him already, so there's no way Ivan is here as well.

He needs to get his shit together. Think, get more information, and plan his next steps. Not only for him, but for his fallen friend as well. He can't let this chance go to waste.

And if there still a chance for him to save Ivan...

Till gets sucked out of his train of thought as he hears a knock on the door.

"Young master, can I come in?"

Now what the fuck?

Chapter Text

As there was another knock sounding on the door, Till jumped and looked around frantically.

Young master? What the actual fuck?

Looking around the room, he could kind of understand where the title was coming from. Who else other than a 'young master' would have such a ridiciulously luxurious room as this?

Till sighed and immediately shot up to sit straight. He might as well play the part for now and investigate later. He just had to get through this hurdle.

As he quickly ran his hands through his hair in an attempt to look more presentable, he tried to recall as much knowledge as he could from his previous life, or as much as possible in such a short amount of time. He was still disoriented from waking up in this strange ass room.

Luckily for him, most of the romance novels he read took place in a timeline such as this one. He had a weird feeling in his gut. What if he was reincarnated in one of his beloved novels? I mean, that would be ridiculous, haha.... But isn't that actually a really famous plotline?? Being reincarnated in your favourite novel, or some type of shit?

Brooding over the possibility, Till arrives at the conclusion that this must be impossible. He is a guy, after all, not a girl.

During the time that Till was frantically lost in thought again, another knock was placed on the door, this time sounding a bit more desperate.

"Pardon my rudeness, Young Master, but you must start getting ready for the important event this evening."

This comment made Till snap back to reality, which he followed with a quick but silent "Come in." Ah, how he just wanted to stay in bed and read romance novels...

As if it was the starting shot of a marathon, suddenly, a total of 4 maids came barging into the room, fully equipped with hair styling products, blouses, suits, shoes, you name it. The only thing Till could do was stare at them with wide eyes as they laid down their tools at their display.

The maids looked at Till expectantly, waiting for him to come over so that they could dress him up the best they could for this so-called 'important event'.

Till sighed. He contemplated for a second and decided that maybe it would be for the best if he did go to said event. After all, it was probably the quickest way for him to gain new information.

His original plan was to stay at home, read books, interrogate his employees and write down some important stuff. After all, that's what the heroines in his beloved novels always did.

He quickly brushed his thoughts away and walked over to the maids who, were already waiting for him with a polite smile plastered on their faces.

First things first, he needed to get dressed. Or rather, overdressed.

...He'll think about what to do after this whole ordeal.

Till looked at himself in his preposterously large mirror. His outfit is made out of beautiful fabrics with gorgeous embroidery. How rich must the owner of this body have been?

He gives himself one more quick glance in the mirror before walking out of the door into the hallway, which was abnormally large as well.

Apparently, eating breakfast in this world is a huge thing. When he suggested skipping it to the maids, they all looked at him in horror, so he decided it would be for the best to actually eat something.

He hasn't eaten breakfast since he can remember. One, he doesn't have time for it (he always overslept because he was reading novels until at late night), and two, it's a bother to eat so early in the morning.

Well, at least he doesn't have to make his meals himself anymore, since he has a cook now... Although... when Ivan stayed over, he forcefully made him eat breakfast with him from time to time. Till hated it, but Ivan had a really big smile on his face whenever he joined in, so he had no choice.

Dragging his feet, covered in probably very expensive shoes, down the marble hallway, he makes his way downstairs and goes into the dining room.

Of course, he had no idea where that was, so he had to go find the dining room through trial-and-error - and errors he made. Every wrong turn he COULD take, he took, resulting in questioning looks from maids walking by. Till hated this life.

Till sat down in a lone chair at a huge table, with an array of breakfast foods in front of him. Just looking at it made him nauseous. Who would want to eat this much on a random morning?? (Till did, in fact, not know which day it was)

Just at the moment he wanted to start eating, a maid came in.

"I regret to inform you, young master, it appears so that your father can't make it to breakfast again today." She says with a neutral expression.

Till nods, and the maid leaves. Well, at least one thing seems to be the same in this new universe. He does know he has a father now, though, which is a relief. This way, he doesn't have to take care of the estate, money and shit like that. How would that even work? He did an art major, not some lame-ass business major, like Ivan.

While eating a very, very good chocolate croissant, Till racked his brain.

He was going to an important event... In an unknown world... As an unknown person... He had no idea who he was, but it must be someone important, someone rich, or both.

He thought about the event. There would be many people... he grimaced at the thought.

Normally, he had Ivan with him to talk to the people around them, but, from now on, he really had to do it himself.

He really was desperate to know more about the world. He hated being left in the dark, he didn't even know his own name! When he looked at his reflection earlier, his appearance strangely looked a lot like his own, although more... refined, which was not that strange if you'd look back at the way he used to take care of himself throughout his old life.

Not noticing he already finished his croissant, he bites down his finger. It leaves a mark on his cuticle and a drop of blood comes out.

Till's throat dries at the sight of the dark red droplet, but he quickly wipes it away with a napkin.

After downing a glass of water, Till stands up and walks out of the dining room where, another maid seems to be waiting for him.

As she leads him to the front door, where an impressive carriage seems to be waiting for him, he takes in the marvelous sight of the front garden.

It's green and bursting with pretty flowers. He is itching to draw right now.

But he can't. There are more pressing matters at hand.

He exhales slowly, bracing himself for the day to come. Then, he steps into the carriage.

After that bumpy carriage ride, Till arrives at his destination. Well, he thinks it is, because they've stopped there.

The door was opened for him, as he steps out, he noticed that he was already at the front of the building, which was seemingly even bigger than his own house. Is inflation just not a thing here or what??

Till looks around himself, attempting to see if there perhaps was a familiar scene unfolding in front of him, but nothing seems to come to mind.

He does have a few hazy memories though, but nothing that seemed helpful. Merely a few flashes of some arbitrary scenes.

As Till looks looked him, fixated on the garden which appears to be even more dazzling than his own, he felt something bump into him.

Or rather, someone.

Great. He hasn't even been inside yet, and he had already fucked up.

Quickly turning around whilst flashing his greatest apologetic smile (or at least, his attempt at one), he looks down to see a girl with pink hair and astonishing yellow eyes.

Taken aback by this sight, Till swallowed, but quickly managed to gather his wits.

He reaches out a hand and attempts to utter a sorry excuse of an apology: "I'm sorry, my lady, are you alright?"

'What the fuck am I saying!?' Till mentally screamed. 'Is saying 'my lady' even a way to address a lady here?'. Whilst his brain was working overtime once again, the girl looked up at him with a smile as she took his hand and got up.

She brushes off her dress . "Yes, I'm alright! " She said with a big smile on her face. "I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going. My name is Mizi, what is yours?"  

Till stares at her dead in the eye.

Mizi.

MIZI!?

The name... of the protagonist... of the last book he read before he died... that he didn't even get to finish??

Oh, fuck me.

Chapter Text

Till is staring at Mizi.

Mizi.

The fucking heroine.

As his thoughts start to spiral downwards more and more, Mizi helped him snap out of it by waving her hand in front of his face.

"Um... mister," letting out an awkward laugh as she does, "may I get your name?"

Till blinks at her once in confusion, now suddenly realising how dumb he was acting for a good thirty seconds.

Quickly trying his best to come up with an answer, because, for the love of God, he does not know his last name. His best attempt seems to be "I'm Till! I was just dazzled by your, uh.. beauty, my lady!"

Seeing Mizi physically cringe at that hurt his pride and made him want to run back to his luxurious estate at the same speed at which Ivan used to run to his dorm when Till would text him, asking to hang out with him.

Mizi gave him a weird, but somewhat alluring smile, urging him to not run away... Not that he was going to do that anyway; he had a better goal in mind for today.

"Well then, mister Till," she said, suddenly full of confidence again. "Let's go inside, shall we?"

Not sure what to do after that bizarre situation, Till just nodded and followed Mizi inside. He really needed a break to process all of this.

Once inside, Till was once again blown away by the lavish architecture of the building. Just when he thought his room was laced in gold, this ballroom was a whole different breed.

Golden pillars, golden tablecloths, golden chandeliers, golden champagne glasses, golden curtains... It truly was an insane sight.

The two came across a butler, who was handing out glasses with champagne. Till raised an eyebrow, wondering why they were handing out alcohol in broad daylight. He still graciously accepted one non the less, not shying away from a good old glass of liquor. Mizi gracefully accepted a glass as well.

Now that the butler had left, the two stood alone in complete silence, whilst Till's mind was in a daze... The grey haired man had yet to realise that he was standing right next to the heroine.

Till decided to try and strike up a conversation, asking about her family and her hobbies, as such. Although she answered him with a warm smile, her answers felt... shallow... Like she was not exactly sure what to reply back. This was rather surprising to Till, considering that the heroine in the novel was a highly extroverted girl, always including others into the conversation.

In a way, Till was happy to not be alone in such an unknown area. Yet, for some reason, no one was approaching them... Probably because they were together, he guessed. Since Mizi had such a pleasant and sweet aura surrounding her, no one dared to approach her and they just stared at her in awe.

Looking around, though, Till noticed that there were not many people around them anyways.

'Strange...' He thought. 'Didn't the maid say that this was an important event?'

Now, thinking of it, he didn't even know what the event was for.

Slightly turning his head to the left, he actually did notice a group of people - precisely, a group of women - absolutely swarming around each other, each of them desperately trying to get to the middle of their huddle.

Till left a polite tap in Mizi's shoulder, which he followed up by questioning what he just noticed: "What is that over there all about?", whilst cocking an eye.

"Oh, that group of people over there? They must all be surrounding the crown prince. This is his birthday banquet after all." Mizi said with a playful smile on her face.

That comment made Till remember why he was actually there. 'Oh, shit,' Till thought to himself, 'That's right... The crown prince is one of the male leads!' He slapped his hand against his forehead.

Due to all of the things that had happened in the last five-or-so hours, Till's brain was left fried to the core.

"I... I need a quick break!" Till announced to Mizi... Although his attempt at telling her this with full confidence quickly went down the drain, as his voice managed to crack twice in a five-word sentence.

Till awkwardly sped away from Mizi, not awaiting her answer. He had no clue where to go, though, so he just decided to go in the direction with the least amount of people, hoping to get as much time alone as possible, in a way that would not concern the girl he was apparently accompanying.

As luck would have it, Till ended up in the garden - Maybe one of multiple. He definitely wouldn't be surprised if there were a plethora of them.

Till walked around for a bit, admiring all the different flora he had never seen before. They looked so beautiful, basking in the sunlight. He crouched down to get a better look at one of the beds of flowers he found especially beautiful.

Although he didn’t know its’ name, he was particularly fond of this very flower. The flower had red petals with a hint of rosé as they descended down to the disc floret. The disc floret itself was made of a brilliantly bright yellow, fading into a deep orange as it went to the middle. It looked so simple, yet, something about the flower still intrigued him.

No- He didn't have time for this. He needed to get up and get his head in the right place.

And so, the second he noticed a bench, he parked down, having his head in his hands. He let out a big sigh.

He just had to sort everything out; from the beginning, all the way to the end. Better put, the end that he knew. Till cursed himself for not staying up one more hour that night. That wa, he would've finished the novel and wouldn't have had to desperately continue reading it the morning before class.

Till listed off everything he found out so far:

1. He was reincarnated in the novel he read before he died, which he never got to finish.

2. Mizi, the girl he was with, was the heroine of the story.

3. He was now at the crown prince's birthday banquet, which was one of the male leads.

About the story though... He remembered that, well... Mizi was the heroine, and that there were two male leads, constantly fighting for her hand.

The first male lead was the crown prince, Navi, who was a charming and sweet gentleman, but had deep insecurities within, because of all the responsibility that had been pushed upon him from a young age.

The second male lead was Will, the duke of the North. He was the stereotypical contrast of Navi. With his rebellious behaviour, he would always be defying the will of his unloving family. You could say he found refuge in the heroine, who was 'taming his wild side', as one might describe it.

Navi and Will couldn’t stand each other. Though, most of the hostility came from Will’s side. His father, Urak, was an important member of the Secret Opposition, which wished for the abolishment of the royals. He used Will as a means to get close to the prince and gather information, which he had report back to his father, much to Will’s dismay. He always reported half-assedly, only angering Urak once more.

The constant words of hatred towards the royals, the crown prince specifically, festered within Will. It’s not like he wanted to dislike the prince, it just felt like second nature to him. The crown prince, of course, responded to this hatred in his own way.

There was also a bonus character: Sua. Sua was a duchess and was best friends with Mizi from a young age. She was also Ivan's cousin, but they didn't really get along that well. Sua was trying to protect Mizi from Navi and Will, but to no avail. Mizi, the curious, little countess kept being drawn to their side, eventually slipping out of Sua's grip. It was implied that Sua liked Mizi as well, but never made a move, thinking that acting upon these feeings would be useless.

Yes, the story was cliché. Just the way he liked it.

Right now, he was at the very beginning of this story, it seemed. The novel began with Mizi being lost in Navi's huge estate at his birthday banquet. Navi wanted to take a break in a quiet place, when he stumbled upon Mizi, who was searching for the banquet hall. After Navi helped Mizi, she met Will, who was trying to leave until she struck him with her infectious kindness.

Now Till just had to find the second male lead, Will, and divert Mizi’s attention off of him and onto Will, because Navi seemed unreachable for now.

Nothing good would come out of him hanging around Mizi. he would just get in the way of the storyline. Why was Mizi hanging out with him anyway?

He stood up, now finally with a plan in his cerebral matter. Go back to Mizi, make some random excuse like meeting an acquaintance, and leave her as is. That way, he would have nothing to do with the story and he could live his own life freely (and hopefully search for Ivan succesfully).

He stood up, now finally with a plan floating around in his cerebral matter: go back to Mizi, make up some random excuse, like meeting an acquaintance and leave her as is. That way, he would have nothing to do with the story and he could live his own life freely (and hopefully search for Ivan successfully).

As he approached the ballroom once more, he noticed that there was a lot less clamour coming from the palace.

When he entered, it was completely empty.

He froze in place and just stared at the situation with an unamused look… Where were the fucking cameras? You can't be making this shit up right now. Why on earth did this keep happening to him?

Being met with an hand waving in front of his face, Mizi appeared before him.

Thank God.

"Mister Till, hurry! They've started the banquet already, but I couldn't find you. Thus, I waited here for you!" She said with a worried look on her face. She truly was a godsend, like the novel described her.

He felt touched by Mizi's goodwill and immediately followed her to the dining hall, like she had some sort of sweet-scented trail following her. He had made himself enough of an outcast already today, he didn't think that this would be considered as 'arriving fashionably late'.

Alas, when they reached the dining hall, they could only see were tables upon tables full of people.

Not wanting to cause any ruckus by searching for their assigned places -which probably would've been very hard and awkward in a colossal place like this- they found a measly, lonely table tucked into the back where no one else was seated and decided to sit there.

Till sighed. Nothing seemed to go his way. He still didn't know shit; the only thing he knew right now was the storyline of the novel that he was in. Although, he supposed that that was a great help for the time being... Best to take it easy first.

It didn't look like he was important to the story anyway. He did have a lot of money though... He could just live his life in luxury, and never worry about anything else!

But... He did worry.

He didn't want this life, at all.

Even though his previous life wasn't perfect, far from it, even, that was his home. That had his friends, his mom, his memories. Everything he had ever known.

So if there was even a bit of hope... Even one speck of hope, that Ivan was actually alive and well, breathing the same air as him right now... But he just hadn't found him... Not yet…

"A-ah, would you look at that! The refreshments came in!" Mizi said, noticing Till's mood had inexplicably dropped.

A tenfold of butlers came parading in whilst balancing trays smothered in all sorts of delicacies at the tips of their fingers.

Every single one of the butlers walked right past them. However, When Mizi frowned at this, a butler immediately came running over.

"Forgive me, my lady! I wasn't aware you were seated in this… unoccupied corner." The butler uttered with a smile, swiftly glancing over at Till in the process. Damn. Even the butler?

"No need to worry, thank you, good sir!" Mizi beamed at him, nearly watering at the mouth from only looking at the sweet dishes in front of her.

The butler hastily left right after, making Till scoff at his rudeness directed towards him. 'Well, whatever.' He thought. He was used to this kind of behaviour towards him anyways.

As Mizi was digging into the desserts, eating in a way not befitting of a lady, (not that Till cared, or even knew how a lady would eat) Till looked at the food in front of him.

"What is this, some kind of colorful Oreo?" He mubled, picking up a macaron and twisting it between his thumb and index finger.

At his words, Mizi started to choke. Till was stunned at her sudden movements, and quickly handed her water in an ornate glass.

Mizi tried to muster up something throughout her raging coughing fit.

"W-what did you just say...? Oreo...??? The heavenly black and white cookie, originated from the United States of America...???"

Till's eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

"YOU'RE REINCARNATED TOO??" They both yelled at the exact same time.

Chapter Text

Dozens of people turned their heads to look at the source of the perfectly synced yell.

Turning red in embarrassment, both Mizi and Till switched over to a whispering tone whilst still maintaining eye contact with their eyes wide open.

Till was the first one to speak up after their short but intense staring contest.

"Wait, so if you're reincarnated too, but as the heroine... Why did you stick to me?" Till managed to cough up, not sure what to ask first. There were so many things he needed to know, so many things he was curious about...

"Yep, that's right! I'm Mizi the heroine..." She said with an embarrassed smile, "I stuck to your side because I thought it would be the most efficient. What better way to get information than from the second male lead himself?"

"I'm the what." Till said to her with a slight panic in his voice, keeping an unamused face.

Mizi looked at him in confusion. "T-the second male lead...? Will.. That is you, right? I mean, you have grey hair, teal, piercing eyes and a sharp face... You even look as rebellious and have a similar name... Your name is not exactly the same, but, you're the spitting image of Will, so I just guessed my reincarnation might've mixed some things up a little..."

Till put his arms on the table and leaned his head into his hands. He wonders how he could've been so stupid when all the signs were there. He's loaded, he has a stupid family, people were looking down on him, hell, even his looks fit the description perfectly.

Now that he thinks about it, even in the original novel, Will had a lot of traits that doubled Till. He just never paid enough attention, because he didn't like the character. Ironic, isn't it?

He sighed, already coming to terms with this newly learned fact, because why the fuck would he not be important after going through all the trouble of being reincarnated. Just his luck... Yet another big shock and it hadn't even been a day. He isn't sure if he should be surprised anymore.

"So, if my name is Till, and not Will, why is your name still Mizi?" Till sighed out.

Mizi's smile grew bigger at his question. Till feared he would not get to talk for a while.

"Well, my original name from before I- no, we, reincarnated was also Mizi! That's why I really like this novel. The characters were lovely, the heroine was badass and had my name, and the storyline was really good! As for the ending, though..." Mizi pouted.

Disappointed by the cutoff, Till was desperate to hear more. "What about the ending? I actually didn't get to finish the novel because I died before I could read the last ten pages." Till said with a grimace on his face. He didn't want to recall those memories.

Mizi looked at him with pity in her eyes. "Well... I actually didn't get to finish the novel either... I was up all night reading the novel until sunrise, before a fire suddenly broke out in my dorm, trapping me inside the building..." Mizi said, Till noticed her hand slightly trembled.

Till put his hand on hers and gave her a reassuring smile. "We are going to be okay. We are okay now, at least. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in this foreign world."

Mizi smiled, wiping away a tear in the corner of her eye.

Till was still curious though. "If you knew I was the second male lead, why did you stick to me for information? Since I'm the second male lead, there was a big possibility I would've swooned you, or some shit like that."

Mizi responded to Till’s question, the latter being confused by the determination in her eyes. "Well, to put it bluntly, I had no intention of dating you or the other male lead from the very start! While reading the novel, I always enjoyed the two characters for their personality alone, and figured they would make wonderful friends. I had to, at the very least, try! I would've really loved to have a friend like Will, but you, Till, are an even better gift." She flahed him a gentle smile. "If you would've started swooning me and showed no signs of stopping, then I would've left you alone, yes. - But you should always give someone a chance first, right?" Mizi beamed.

'Damn, she really is talkative, isn't she?' Till thought to himself, holding back a giggle. Still, Till could appreciate the sentiment. He did have to look out for her in the future though, to protect her from her own gullibility, assuming they would meet up more often from now on.

"To be honest with you," Till spoke up, "I was planning on not interacting with anyone at all, and just stay in my estate to enjoy the luxury I was given. No, actually- that was plan B. My first plan was to search for my... friend."

"Your friend?" Mizi asked kindly. You could nearly see a question mark appearing above her head, like a cartoon character.

"Ah..." Till looked away, once again being pestered by those memories. It wasn't like Mizi went through something better, either. "I died by being hit by a truck going at full speed. I was running to class, together with my friend, and I wasn't paying attention while crossing the road. He tried to save me, but he got caught up in the collision too. I was hoping he had been reincarnated too... but I'm really not sure."

When Till looked up to look Mizi in the eyes, he was taken aback. The sadness, the sympathy, the understanding in her eyes... It all felt so foreign to him. Her emotions were so raw. Almost no one cared for him this way. Almost.

"Till I'm so sorry... I'll help you find him, even if it's the last thing I do in this universe." The pink-haired woman said, giving Till an encouraging smile and squeezing his hand.

Not liking the mood that this conversation had set, Till decided to change the subject. "...So, what is your objective going to be in this world? Have you figured out what you want to do yet?"

"Well..." Mizi giggled, looking nervous. "Okay, so, you know the character Sua, right? I actually kept reading the novel because of her... She's so cool! She always tried to protect the heroine, she's the smartest in her class, AND she has killer looks, too. Believe me, I saw her this afternoon." Mizi rambled out. Till figured it would be best not to ask that much about Sua after this, figuring they wouldn't get to speak much about other topics, if he decided to break through that dam. 

"Speaking of which, Why were you reading this novel?" Mizi asked him after a few minutes of her continuous ramble about Sua.

Snapping back to reality after being asked a question (truthfully, Till started spacing out a little), Till answered silently, his hand scratching his neck. "Hahaha... Believe it or not, but I am actually a big fan of these novels." Till decided to avert his eyes from Mizi. He knew that she was a good person, but no one could ever escape harsh judgment.

Then, Mizi took Till's hands into hers again which made Till look back to Mizi instantly.

The sparkle in her eyes was mesmerising as she began to babble about her favourite novels.

And so, their little, deserted corner in the enormous dining hall didn't seem so lonely anymore. In fact, it was the liveliest table at the whole banquet.

Mizi and Till were chatting away about their favourite novels, writers, tropes, genres, and even started talking about their previous world too. What major they studied in university, their favourite foods, their hobbies, and much more.

Till didn't feel so lonely anymore.

As the banquet ended, the guests were led to the ballroom once again. Till was already exhausted, but it appeared that this was a custom here. He wondered how the people could keep up with a schedule like this. With so many people around him, he felt absolutely drained.

He and Mizi stood side by side again, and it didn't look like any of them would be leaving the other soon. They had grown a deep understanding between the two of them in such a short span of time. He didn't think, nor hope, that this would be the last time that they would see each other.

This time, however, there were people walking up to them to have a chat. It wasn't much, but suddenly, people didn't seem to avoid them anymore. Maybe they thought Till wasn't as intimidating as they believed, seeing him interact so cheerfully with Mizi.

Till didn't really care. He wasn't planning on getting chummy with all these random people. Sure, he could be polite, but in his opinion, they all had a stick shoved up their asses. They only came up to talk to them because of Till's wealth and Mizi's good looks.

He really hoped this day wouldn't last that long anymore.

After tediously standing around, talking to random nobles for an hour or so, Till decided that he must look for Ivan. Surely he would be in here somewhere... Right?

He excused himself from the conversation that was currently happening with two elder countesses, and Mizi gave him an understanding nod.

Till smiled back at her, and quickly moved through the dozens of nobles who were gathered in the ballroom at that time.

Till walked around, looking at the face of every last person he passed. He even went to the garden, the lounge rooms, and the balconies (where he saw things he rather hadn't seen), but to no avail.

No matter how much he searched; he just couldn't find him. Just where was he? If not here then-

-No. He shouldn't think about unnecessary things. Just because he and Mizi were reincarnated, didn't mean Ivan was too. Maybe he was reincarnated in a whole different part of the world, or as a beggar on the streets. Even so, Till wouldn't give up, and he was sure Ivan wouldn't either. They will find each other again some day. Some faithful day.

Till sighed as he walked back over to Mizi in defeat, who was standing alone now.

"No luck?" She asked him.

"No. I've looked everywhere! He must not be here today. I can't imagine he would be, since I didn't skip even single room or corner." Till sighed out.

Mizi patted his shoulder, which felt reassuring. "I'm sure you will find him sooner or later. I'm absolutely certain." She said, wearing the same comforting smile she did at the banquet.

Till softly smiled back at her. "Did anything happen here while I was gone? You weren't pestered by some random nobles, right?"

"No, no, not at all!" She laughed, happy to receive Till's concern. "Only the crown prince came by for a bit, thanking me for coming to his birthday banquet. It wasn't anything special."

"The crown prince!? " Till almost yelled. "He didn't make a move on you or something, did he??" He immediately asked, agitatedly. He had to admit that the crown prince was his second favourite character (the heroine was first, of course), but that bastard could be persistent as fuck.

"Fortunately, no! He seemed really friendly. Maybe Sua talked a bit about me with him. He said he looked forward to meeting me again someday!" Mizi said, whilst beaming her signature smile.

Till sighed at her words. "Uh, that's sounds like 'hitting on you' to me."

Mizi blinked a few times in confusion, her long eyeleashes fluttering with each movement.

"Till! You shouldn't always assume the worst in people! I'm sure he is just a nice, friendly fellow who needs more friends. Being a crown prince sounds like an awfully lonely experience to me, after all. Most people who approach you only do so to gain something from you." Mizi said to him in a correcting tone.

"Okay, okay, I'll give him a chance. But please, don't let it escalate. I'll deal with him if that happens." Till had a daunting look on his face when he said that.

Mizi noticed his look, and hastily changed the topic. Her favourite one. "Speaking of Sua, you must be wondering where she is, aren't you? Well, since she is a relative of the crown prince, als you should already know, she is forced to stay with their family for the whole day. I haven't even spoken to her once since reincarnating! I only saw her step out of her carriage right before bumping into you." Mizi exclaimed, disappointment dripping from her voice.

Being of the opinion that a sad expression did not fit Mizi at all, Till decided to distract her from the matter. "Ah, well then, since we both have nothing to do here anymore, why don't we just leave? It's already getting dark outside, and honestly, I've seen all there is to this place. I'm bored as hell, and the people here are pretentious as shit." Till scoffed.

Mizi nodded, and so, they walked to the big front door of the palace together, passing numerous of beautiful paintings along the way. Till had honestly hoped to stop by each and every one and look at them for a long time, to gape at them in awe, but he wouldn't dare to leave Mizi waiting for that long.

Right before stepping outside, Mizi grabbed Till's hand, making them both stop in their tracks.

"Before we leave, I wanted to thank you for today." Mizi began. "I'm so glad to know I'm not alone in this world! If we stick together, I know we can make it. Together is better than alone!"

At her encouraging words, Till gave her a bright, sincere smile. The brightest she had seen from him that day.

"Yeah, thank you too. I'm sure I would've already gone crazy by now if it weren't for you accompanying me today." He said, even knowing himself that the smile that he was wearing on his face right now was very unlike him.

This made Mizi flash a vivid smile too. "Then, let's meet up again tomorrow at my residence! Just the two of us, so we have more privacy and more space to ourselves. I'll prepare tons of desserts for us too! What do you think?" She said, the excitement in her voice spilling over.

"That sounds great. I'll make sure my schedule is totally cleared out, if I even have one."  Till laughed.

"Then, it's decided! Until tomorrow, Till. I can't wait!" Mizi declared whilst walking down the stairs, towards her carriage that had just arrived up front.

She waved frantically and Till waved back until her carriage was out of sight, and right after, his own carriage pulled up to the stairs.

As he rode home in the oh-so-uncomfortable vehicle again, he began to think about the past day.

He was glad he wasn't alone in this cold world anymore.

Chapter Text

In contrast to the carriage ride that was, again, bumpy and wholly uncomfortable, Till began to feel more and more accepting of this world.

There wasn't anything he could do but tolerate the situation as is. It may seem hard at the moment, but at least he had someone to lean on for now.

He wasn't alone: the thing he dreads so much, despite the cold front he puts up towards others and the hostility towards anyone who dares approach him. He couldn’t help it; it was necessary in the environment he had grown up in. He liked being alone, but he disliked feeling alone.

Being lost in his own thoughts, he didn't realise that they had already arrived back at his estate. When the coachman opened the door to his sacred little cabin, Till was startled by the sudden sound, and quickly got up on his feet.

Just as he was about to step out, the coachman spoke up. "The duke expects you in his office." He said, not even looking Till in the eye. Damn. Were all the servants here so rude?

'Anyway... The duke?'  Till thought to himself. If he recalled the novel correctly...

The duke, Urak, was an awful man, uncapable of loving another. The woman he married- or rather, the woman he forced to marry him, ran away when Will was five years old, never to be seen again. Unlike Urak, the woman was full of warmth. She was an absolute delight to be around. Kind of like Mizi, if you will.

But in the end, she couldn't take it anymore. Will was her only light in the whole world after Urak took everything away from her. And so, on one faithful night, after she had spent the whole day showering Will with affection and all kinds of gifts, she just disappeared, not informing even one person of her departure.

Will, being a five-year-old boy, didn't understand even a bit of what was happening. He kept asking the maids and the other servants where his mom was, but all they could offer him were pained expressions and slight shakes of their heads. Leaving no other options, he went to his father.

He had to push through quite a few people to get to his father, oblivious to the pitiful looks he was receiving at the same time.

And then, when he finally reached the man that he was looking for and locked eyes with him, he saw an expression he had never seen before on a human being's face, and probably never will ever again.

That loathing expression, the resentment in his eyes, and the way his lips curled in a disapproving scowl.

At such a young age, even the small Will knew that the look on the man's face was far from what a parent, or any human being, for that matter, should look like. It was the face of a monster. He knew his father was different from his mom. His father was very cold, but Will was a child, with a natural loving towards his parent.

That was the day that feeling all but vanished.

Urak sent away all the people in his office with one swift movement of his finger, now remaining in the room with only Will.

Though the office was supposed to be one of the biggest rooms in the estate, mirroring Urak's ego, Will felt as if he couldn't breathe. It felt as if the walls were closing in on him. It was suffocating, and he was struggling to breathe.

Urak slowly walked towards the little boy, who had his eyes plastered to the ground beneath him, not daring to look up and face the monstrosity that was nearing him.

He felt a hand on his chin, which was then yanked upwards. "You..." The monster breathed out in a strict tone, fiery breath dispersing on the face of the small boy.

Will yelped, a small bead of sweat forming on his forehead.

"You were the reason she left, weren't you!?" The monster continued. Will was forced to look at his disgusted eyes. "I always knew you were a useless little brat, just like that wench you call your mother. To think that you were so dissatisfying that even she left you..."

The monster let go of Will's chin and the small child fell to the floor. He quickly scrambled himself up, not wanting to look like a disgrace even more than he already was. It was ludicrous, really, for the small boy had no one left in this world. Who did he even want to look good for?

Looking for a distraction, the little boy looked around the room, but there was nothing other than books and paper located inside the space, except for the big family portrait hanging on the wall. The three of them were painted delicately, with Will sitting on his mother's lap. Urak stood behind them, towering over and watching them, making it feel like they couldn't escape. Yet, one managed to achieve such an impossible feat.

The only person that slipped through Urak's grasp. What better way to settle the score than to punish her own blood? It just so happened to be of his as well, but Urak didn't see it as such. Never had and never will. It had always been for his own gain.

The monster turned his back on Will, and growled. "Get out. Repent for what you've done."

Will hastily turned to face the door and make a run for it. To get out of this monster's den that was supposedly festered within the home he was raised in. No, not a home. It wasn't a home for him anymore. It felt like a prison now. Everything was closing in on him.

In the years after that, Urak's feelings towards Will didn't seem to change. In fact, they only got worse as Will's attitude did too.

Something inside Will changed back then, like the turning of a cog, and the frail, weak child that he once was all but faded. He stood up for himself, well, he tried to, to show his so-called father that he was not the same as he was back then. That he had his mother's blood, and not even one drop of that of a monster.

...That's how Till ended up right here, in front of Urak's office. In the end, Urak took control over the situation, to make it look as if Till's mother had passed away, and no one even seemed to doubt a thing.

Till thought it was somewhat ironic, how much Will and him were alike. Even their backstories were nearly identical, minus the rich Victorian child bullshit.

The only positive thing he could get out of their similarities was that he knew how to act in front of such a... person. He could say that, but there were many incidents in his previous life where he didn't follow those 'rules'. Then again, how was he supposed to just stand there and take all of that shit?

Till sighed and decided that he just had to get it over with. He knocked on the door, awaiting an answer.

"Come in." A dark voice answered his knock.

Till shivered. The voice coming from the other side of the door resembled his father's. But it wasn't. It wasn't his father's. Not his.

He quietly shook his head, trying to shake off all the bad thoughts, and stepped into the office.

Once inside the room, he understood five-year-old Will's description of the office. The only thing there was to see were books and papers. The space was bleak and suffocating. Though he didn’t know exactly what it looked like almost sixteen years ago, he was fairly certain that nearly nothing had changed on the inside.

Up on the wall, above Urak's 'high and mighty' chair, hung a painting. It was covered up with a cloth, as if it was erasing the art that was painted upon the canvas. It didn't do its job well, though, as the cloth was too short, and you could still see her lap and two little legs sticking out from beneath the cloth.

"So..." His 'father' spoke up. "Any reports on how the banquet of that little brat went?"

Till hesitated on how he should answer. He decided to play it safe, but he couldn't out-right lie about what happened. Urak probably had eyes everywhere, watching his every move.

"I didn't see him; he was swarmed by noblewomen the whole time. I didn't get the chance to speak with him." Till chose to answer. A pretty good one at that, he thought, as he gave himself an imaginary pat on the back.

Urak scoffed. "Pretty tame today, eh? I told you to gain information from him, not to dawdle around all day. Rip those women away from him for all I care." He looked annoyed, the disdain radiating from his eyes.

"Yes, I uh, I will." Till said, hoping to get out of the room as soon as possible. This didn't seem to go his way once again.

"Yes, I will, father!"  Urak yelled, his flat hand hitting the desk at the last spoken word, causing more impact. Till didn't flinch, already used to such antics being used on him.

Urak continued. "Just make sure you only get information from that spoilt child, I don't want anyone of my blood infected with those ideas of him, nor of the royal family."

Till casted his eyes to the side. Just how uptight was this guy? When could he finally leave? It pissed him off that he didn't even call him his son, merely someone of his bloodline, when he didn't even see Till as someone of his blood.

He settled with a monotonous "Yes, father.", as his lovely daddy learned him a few seconds ago.

Urak growled. "Look me in the eyes when you speak to me! For god's sake, I knew your manners were awful, but you can't seem to do anything right, can you?"

Till looked at him straight into his eyes, deciding to not say anything more. He did what was asked of him, no?

Urak put his elbow upright on the table so he could lean his head into his hand, followed by a big sigh and a wrinkle forming in between his eyebrows.

His sigh resembled the blows of a big, bad wolf. He huffed and he puffed, but he just couldn't tear Till down.

Not wanting to drag this seemingly pointless conversation out any longer, Urak decided to change the subject to something else that piqued his interest.

"So..." He began, ticking Till off. 'Let me leave, god damn it.', he thought.

"I heard from a few..." You could almost see the cogs in his head starting to turn, trying to come up with a good excuse, "reliable sources, that you were with a girl almost the whole night? Care to tell me about her identity?" Urak asked, sitting down, resulting in him being at a lower height than Till, who was standing upright. Despite that, Urak still seemed to be looking down on him, in one way or another.

Urak didn't mention this because he was interested in Till's love life, but because he was engrossed in the idea of a new potential pawn, a source of information.

Till mentally gulped. He couldn't do it physically; he didn't want to look nervous in front of Urak. He didn't want to bring Mizi into this, but if he lied, he would be in so much more shit.

While maintaining straight eye contact, he said: "That woman was countess Mizi. We discovered we had a lot in common, so we stayed together the whole day." Till intentionally didn't call him 'father'. If Urak couldn't call him his son, why the hell should he call him his father?

Then, he could see something shift in Urak's expression. Almost like a dark thunder cloud came over his face, like a vulcano spewed right over his head.

His face was seething, and he began to turn red.

"You-" Urak sputtered out, spit almost launching out of his mouth as he tried to find any words. "-Countess Mizi!? Her parents are fucking sponsors of the royal family! If you get too close to her, she will find out about all of the things I- no, we've, been doing behind the scenes. Can you get any fucking dumber, you sad excuse of a human being!?" Urak yelled, trying to mention a 'we' in his sentence- trying to involve Till into his schemes. Till knew better than that, fortunately.

Till couldn't believe what he had just heard. He couldn't choose his parents, he couldn't choose the time of his death, he couldn't choose where he reincarnated, or if he even wanted to be, and now, as the cherry on top, he couldn't even decide who he wanted to hang out with!?

Till had had enough. Mind you, he hadn't even been in this world for a full 24 hours yet, so imagine how much shit he has had to endure today (not to mention, Till was also quick to get agitated).

"Why can't I choose who I talk to myself? It's not like I'll go up to her like, 'Hey, did you know Urak wants to abolish the royalty?' Of course I won't! Why the fuck do you have to control even that!?" He exclaimed, attempting to not scream like Urak, trying to be the better person in this situation.

Urak broke into a boisterous laugh, echoing throughout the whole office. "Ha! So the rebel did decide to show up today, eh? You know what? Said rebel can get special treatment, just for him." He said with a smug grin on his face. Not a light-hearted one, but one of the intimidating kind.

He stood up and clapped in his hands twice. "Guards!" He yelled, and not even one second later two guards came storming in, standing on both of Till's sides, caging him in.

Till quickly looked from side to side, trying to make sense of the situation. Was he fucking serious right now!? He was his fucking son! No matter how bad he hated him, he surely couldn't treat him the same as a prisoner, right?

Both guards glared at Till, towering over him, looking down on him with the same disgusted eyes that Urak -hell, even his real father in his original world- used to give him. The look that he had grown accustomed to throughout all those years.

Urak pointed his fat, little index finger, accompanied a golden ring, at Till. "You will be confined to your room for the next two days. No water, no food, no anything. Maybe that will teach you to shut you up for once, to stop you from talking back like a childish little bitch." He said in a strict tone, not containing even a hint of love whatsoever. To Till, it seemed like, for Urak, doing this was the same as throwing a thief into a prison cell. No remorse, no contemplation, the opposing party having no say in anything.

Till growled at him, showing his bare teeth, but Urak didn't even bat an eye. He simply waved his hand and the guards next to Till grabbed the grey-haired man by his upper arms and dragged him away.

"Fuck you!" Was all Till managed to say in the spur of the moment, finding everything too bizarre to even formulate an actual sentence.

"Three days."  Urak snapped back at him.

The last thing Till was able to do was put his middle finger up to Urak before the grandiose doors to his office closed, making the invisible wall between them visible this time.

The guards remained silent as they hoisted Till up the stairs with them before arriving in front of his room. Till was still dressed in the expensive clothing he had worn the whole day throughout the banquet, although his hair turned into a mess.

One of the guards let go of his arm, opening the door to his chambers, before pushing him in and immediately closing the door again. Till heard a key locking the door... and that was that.

"Go to hell, you fucking lap dogs..." He grumbled, picking himself up from the neatly polished floor, almost slipping and falling again.

He tried to look through the keyhole, hoping to find anything on the other side of the door. Though, to his dismay, all he found was the same two guards standing in front of his room, preventing him from getting out, if he even managed to break through the lock.

He let out a big sigh, allowing himself to gently fall backwards, now laying on the floor.

Being confined to this big ass room with anything you need in it? Fine! If the only thing he had to lose was two- no, three days' worth of food, then so be it. He could survive for that long; he had done so before anyways.

Then, a quick realisation came to mind. He swiftly propped himself up onto his elbows, now being able the see his room in full view.

He was supposed to meet up with Mizi tomorrow.

He groaned. How was he supposed to do that while being trapped in here? He couldn't ask Mizi to come to his estate instead, because she'd never be let into the manor and Till wouldn't even be able to make it out of his room.

Frustrated, the so-called rebel threw the first thing his hand could reach across the room. He threw it as hard as he could. He needed to blow off some steam, in any way possible.

While the book, which apparently was the closest object to him, flew, which it did for quite some time, considering how large his chambers were, Till's eyes followed it until it reached its' destination, and that happened to be his windowsill.

The windowsill and the book greeted each other with quite the 'Bang!'. The impact from the collision seemed to have opened the window, which swinged open, welcoming a fresh breeze into the dusty air that had started to collect in his room.

Desperate for some of that cool ventilation, Till clumsily stood up from his place on the floor and walked over to the now-opened window.

Once he reached the window and decided to stick his head through the opening, an idea suddenly came to mind, much like a lamp above his head that suddenly began to glow.

He looked down and found a parasol located directly beneath him, beneath his accommodation. His room appeared to be directly above the terrace, which was located in the garden at the rear of the property.

Scanning a bit further, trying to look for anything else that could be of use while squinting his eyes, he noticed some stables. It looked run-down, as if it was deliberately neglected for a while now. Will used to adore horseback riding as mentioned in the novel, so Urak probably made him pay once by cutting the expenses on his hobby.

Till got it. He came up with, what he called, a masterplan.

Chapter Text

'T was morning, and duke Till elegantly awoke from his peaceful slumber in his overly comfortable bedstead, with the morning birds singsonging for him, celebrating, for his eyes had opened once again.

Or not.

When Till woke up, he noticed a massive ache in his lower back. He groaned, opened his eyes, and instantly grabbed his back, trying to stretch himself to relieve the pain.

Now with his eyes open, Till saw he wasn't met with a comfortable pillow and an equally comfortable matress- no, his cheek was greeted with the cold, hard, wooden floor. He looked outside through the window across the room, and saw that the weather had decided to match his mood today. Big drops of rain fell down constantly, not showing any signs of letting up soon.

Grumpily trying to pick himself up, still half awake, Till slipped over something on the ground and falls right back down to the spot he just tried to stand up from.

Being already agitated from waking up in the first place, this didn't really help improve his temper. He glanced down to curse at the object that had caused his plummet, but found out that the one to blame was actually he himself.

While waving his morning grogginess away, shaking his head ferociously, he tried to remember how he even got into the position that he had awoken in. He dug through his memory, trying to recall the night before.

After coming up with the amazing plan that he had to conduct today, Till still had to wait for that time to arrive. So, after writing down his 'well thought out' scheme, he decided to do something he hadn't yet been able to do since coming to this world. His favourite hobby.

Reading novels!

Till had gotten excited to finally be able to reunite with one of his beloved works. One thing he knew that would never change. Stories.

Thrilled to consume himself in another person's tale, desperate to forget his own, he went to the huge bookshelve that was stated at the back of the room, right next to his desk, which did not seem to be used a lot.

The bookshelf itself reached both the floor and the ceiling of the chambers, making it so tall, there were steps needed to be able to reach the top shelf. The books that were displayed were all neatly arranged, based on colour, author, and title. It would make a bookworm like Till fall down to his knees, admiring the sight that was exhibited in front of him. Usually.

Taking a closer look though, there was not one book that suited his tastes. Not even one romance novel! Not a romcom, an adventure, mystery, thriller, and so forth. The only books that he was able to find, as far as the eye could see, were books about the history of the country, politics, and just informatic books in general.

There wasn't even one book about the narrative of another. He was now truly stuck with only his own story at display.

Till grimaced, clearly not satisfied with his situation. He also couldn't go down to the library that was located downstairs, as he was still on lockdown in his own territory.

He found it strange, though, for those books to be laying around in this particular room. Will, the second male lead, never seemed to show any interest in books, let alone history or politics. They must have been placed on Urak's command, another one of his ways to get his so-called son on his side, to lure him in with... literature. He truly didn't know his own son at all.

Luckily, Till isn't his son. There isn't anything, or anyone, to know in the first place, he was now a blank canvas for Urak; though said man didn't know of it himself. He hadn't even seemed to notice the change of person, and frankly, no one around Till had, or had bothered to say something about it. How... sad.

Returning to reality, Till concluded that there was nothing else to do than to pick up a book seated on one of the shelves, as there was nothing else he could do while being confined to this room.

He grabbed a few books on the shelf closest to his hands, and settled down on the floor in the middle of his room, like he used to. Ivan usually sat on his bed, though he isn't here now.

As he began reading the first book, he started to wonder. Do people really fucking read stuff like this? Like... for real? He couldn't believe that a person would willingly read strings of words as tedious as these. Why should he care about the political state of the country roughly one hundred and fifty years ago, explained in excruciating detail?

He read, and he read... or so he thought. After he had read only three pages, or actually, after skimming through three pages, he fell soundly asleep, resulting in the position that he woke up in this morning.

Now fully understanding his current situation, Till closed the book and stood up, this time not tumbling over. He would put the books away later, it was too much of a hassle right now (...Is what he always said, with the following result that his dorm was constantly untidy).

He walked over to his personal washroom, thank God he still had access to that, and stood before the mirror. The walk to said room took around as long as he used to walk to the restrooms in his dorm, which was odd, as the restrooms in the dorm were on the other side of the hallway. Talk about difference in room size. Though Till could get used to that gladly.

Not yet having set foot into the room before, Till's gaze landed on a couple of things, for example, the lavish bath, surrounded by all kinds of soaps and body wash, or the triple washbasin, covered in expensive products for hair or face. Why the hell would he even need three sinks, wasn't he the only one using all of this?

And finally, his gaze landed on the mirror in front of him. Yes, he had seen himself previously on the day before when the maids were preparing him for the busy day to come, but the aftermath of that hadn't crossed his mind.

His whole hair was disheveled, strands of hair shooting upright or hanging low, because he was too tired to wash all of the hair products out. It made his whole hair a mess, which it usually was, but definitely not to this extent. His eyebags, that were covered up nicely yesterday, also didn't do him justice, as they had decided to make a guest appearance today.

There was additionally a mark on his cheek, closely resembling the wooden floor that had appearantly left an imprint on his face.

He surely couldn't meet Mizi like this. He looked even worse than usual! In his daily life, he had permanent eyebags and an irreparable messy hairstyle, but even for him, this was awful.

He quickly turned on the faucet of the bath, threw in a few products he thought were of high quality, and bathed himself until there wasn't a spot left that went unnoticed. He didn't want to make a fool out of himself, not again after yesterday's fumble.

There he stood again, alone in the middle of his room, now clean and fresh. After his bath, he had walked over to the massive walk-in closet, with more clothes to choose from than he could have ever dreamt of. It was a shame that none of it was in his preferred style though.

He grabbed an outfit he thought would be alright for a casual day, just a simple pair of red trousers, and a white blouse with cuffs detailed in black. All styled in an elegant manner of course, he was of noble blood now. He couldn't wear his own treasured style anymore, not that it even existed here in the first place. He thought about the topic of fashion, and made a mental note to himself that he could talk about said topic with Mizi today.

But more importantly, the key pieces to his outfit hadn't been put on just yet. Now he was finally ready for the good part.

After digging deep into the closet, he found what he had been looking for. A long black cloak, one that would reach all the way to the floor. He had to scavenge through the whole closet for it, but he knew there must've been at least one such item hiding in there somewhere. How else would a noble travel anonymously through the streets?

Along with the cape, he found matching boots, perfect for the activity he was going to partake in.

Now, with his whole outfit assembled, he grabbed the paper which contained the steps of his masterplan and put it inside of his cloak. Having pockets inside a cloak was a really convenient choice of design.

He gulped as he looked outside through his window, the rain still pouring in the same aggressiveness as when he woke up. He had no choice but to face his hurdles through this god awful weather.

All that was left to do was to scope out the situation unfolding outside of his door. He silently tip-toed over in order to not let the wood beneath his feet creak, and peeped through the keyhole of his door.

He found the same two guards that dragged him upstairs the day before standing outside, one tiresomely staring into space, while the other guard was slumped against the wall, outwardly sleeping, not keeping his post. Perfect.

Sneaking back to his spot in front of the window again, Till silently opened said window, creating a space large enough for a grown man to crawl through.

As he climbed through the window and sat on the frame, he looked down, suddenly second-guessing his supposedly 'well thought out' decision.

He slapped his cheeks. No, he had to do this. He had promised Mizi to meet up with her after all, and who the hell would listen to an old curmudgeon like Urak? Fuck no, he'd rather get hit by a truck again (preferably alone this time). 'A true heroine never gave up!' He whispered to himself for encouragement, cheeks slowly turning an even deeper shade of red than from when he slapped them.

He shook his head and looked at the sight below him again. There, he was met with the same parasol that he saw yesterday. The parasol, and the whole terrace for that matter, were located at the rear of the estate, which was adventageous for Till, because Urak's office was at the front. That man never came out of his office throughout the day, so he assumed it would be safe to lunge out of his window this time of day.

His legs started to get wet the longer he pondered the success rate of his plan. He had to stop dawdling.

And so, after exhaling deeply for the last time, he leaped out of his former place from inside the window frame, and tried to aim his landing at the parasol located below him.

It all sounded so easy, but due to the raindrops that had started to collect on the window, the surface of it had become wet, and likewise became slippery, causing Till to half-slide, half-jump into the air. He collided with the parasol with his bust, his neck just barely missing the pointy tip of the parasol.

The parasol, which Till had thought was made of a fine fabric due to the lovely pattern it contained, was all but a mere facade, as the true material of the cloth was not fabric, but metal.

Making an unrefined 'Urk!', Till slowly and comically slid off of the parasol, dropping down into a terrace chair with a loud crash.

The cloaked man was startled by the sound of his own crash, desperate as to not get caught, instantly looking left and right, hoping no one saw nor heard him.

Though unfortunately, he saw a figure walking over towards the window from inside the building, and began to panic. It hadn't even been ten seconds yet, and he was already about to get caught!?

While the still unknown shape was approaching closer and closer, Till started to dread, not being able to find any decent hiding spot within a ray of ten meters.

The only thing he could find, except for the outdoor table-set, which was designed with small metal strokes that made it almost completely see-through, was a potted plant that was not even able to reach the height of Till's waist.

Not letting this chance go past him, he made an awesome sommersault towards the pot (he could do that??), put on his hood, and shot a quick prayer towards the sky, that shot a bolt of lightning down in return. How reassuring!

He rolled himself into a ball, trying to merge into the stone, like he was in some sort of prop hunt shit. He slowly looked up to the window at which he saw the figure walking towards, and was met with the eyes of one of the maids that had helped him to get ready the day before.

She looked at him with a piercing gaze, and he looked back at her with a slight tremor in his teal irises.

It's over. He had gotten caught. If Urak were to hear about this, he would surely be sent to the estate's dungeons, to never see the light of day again (yes, unfortunately, but not surprisingly, Urak had his very own prison).

Urak had said to Till that he needed him for his plans, but in reality, he just needed him for appearances. To make him look less suspicious. That much was obvious. What widower with only his son left would be planning such a scheme behind everyone's back? Everyone knew how lovely his 'late' wife had been.

Till was getting neaseous just thinking about it, about Urak. He closed his eyes again, clutching his legs and waiting for another guard to pick him up and throw him down somwhere once again.

...Yet that moment never came. He waited for a few seconds, but except for the sound of the falling raindrops, he strangely heard... nothing.

He lifted his head up from the spot that it had been nestled in, and turned to the window where he thought he had found his demise in. To his surprise, the window was empty, and even the curtains had been drawn.

He blinked a few times in surprise, and quickly came to a conclusion. He felt something tug at his heart a little. There were people here on his side after all.

Grateful for the opportunity, Till was determined to set his journey forth and not let this chance go to waste.

He stood up, hood damp on his head, and headed to the back of the estate where the stables were located.

Yes, he was going to visit Mizi on horse. Did he have any experience? Hell no. Did he believe in the miracle called muscle memory? ...He could only cross his fingers.

As to not draw too much attention from individuals that did not seem to support his intentions, he didn't follow the desginated path, but instead made his way through the countless bushes in the tremendously big garden.

A few scratches on his face later, he had managed to reach the stables, undiscovered. Till gave himself a pat on the shoulder for this valiant feat. The pat in question unfortunately gave a soggy sound as feedback, as he was completely soaked. The paper he put in the pocket of his cloak earlier had also become unreadable because of it.

Now, the hardest part came to bid. He wasn't sure if all of the employees had been notified of his confinement yet, so it could very well be that the stable hand would immediately report him to Urak at first sight. It wasn't like he really had any other choice though, so he just crossed his fingers and hoped for the best.

The stables looked run down. The bricks of which it was made had crumbled away, and the wood with which it was decorated had started to rot. It didn't look like anything horses, or any living beings at all, would be able to live in. And yet, they did. With enough willpower, anyone could be able to survive even through the harshest of environments.

Till got closer to the building, placing his hand on the door, attempting to open it gently. That didn't go exactly as planned, as the door that evidently showed the same signs of ruin as the rest of the building, let out a deafening creak by touch alone.

He had no choice but to push the door further in, and while he did, the sound didn't lessen even a single bit. After pushing the entrance far enough so that Till could slip through it, he reached his foot ever so slowly into the premise, trying not to cause any more ruckus than he had already done.

And now, he was finally inside. His plan was almost conducted to its' final steps, and then he was free... for the day.

He looked around, and was amazed by the sight. Contrary to the outside, the inside of the stables was very well kept. The horses seemed to be healthy, their place of residence was clean, and overall, the place looked as new, like it had just been built.

Till took a few steps forward, searching for a horse he could use. How would he be able to distinguish the best one? He was in a hurry too... He couldn't afford to waste time like this-

-And then he heard footsteps. They grew louder and louder, and Till knew there was nothing else to do other than to keep up a facade. 'What confinement?? That must be another Till! Ha ha!'. As his mind started to fill up with a dozen excuses, he heard a loud crash taking place before him.

Till cast his eyes to the origin of the sound and found a man standing in front of him, accompanied by a wheelbarrow that had fallen to the side. "Young master Till- Is that really you!?" The man exclaimed, seemingly in his late fifties, fast-walking towards his so-called 'young master'. "I haven't seen you in here for so long! What brings you here, boy?"

The man approached him with a sincere smile, one he hadn't seen a lot before. The only ones he knew that carried such a smile were Ivan, and since recently, Mizi. He one again felt like an outcast in this world. The man was smiling at him, but not at him.

Till didn't seem to recognise the older man from the novel. Could he be... the stable hand? The tattered, navy overalls the man was wearing had the name 'Eduardo' stitched onto it.

The novel did talk about Will's childhood, but how could one possibly sum up someone's whole life in mere paragraphs?

Till bit his lower lip, forcing a rusty smile in response to the other facing him, who had by now grabbed his shoulders in a firm grip, smile not faltering. It looked... genuine. Like the man truly had been waiting, excruciatingly so. "Ah... Yes! I'm glad to be here again, I wasn't able to because of... Well, you know. This and that." Till said with an awkward laugh, hoping it came across as credible.

Eduardo seemed to understand, much to Till's relief, and nodded his head in a fast pace. His eyes were widened slightly, eagerly awaiting Till's response to the question which he had asked. And so, Till continued. "I was wishing to go somewhere on steed today, but it seems I don't know which one to take with." To him, all the horses looked the same after all.

The stable hand, whose hands were, now that Till looked up close, calloused from all the hard work he had carried out over the years, put his hands on his side and looked at Till with a judging look. "Young master-"

Not quite fond of the manner in which a man who was way older than him called him 'young master', Till interrupted him. "Just 'Till' is fine."

Eduardo's wrinkles deepened, trying to raise an objection, only to be held back by the pleading look on Till's face. So big, sad eyes seemed to work here...

"-All right, sir Till, I know you haven't shown up here for quite a while now, and trust me, I do understand," The older man said with a knowing smile, and then quickly shifted his face back into a strict expression. "but you can't be serious right now. How could you possibly forget about Sparkles?"

Till looked Eduardo dead in the eye.

Sparkles. Fucking Sparkles?

He executed this badass plan, all for it to end on a ride with Sparkles.

Till tried to hide his totally uninterested voice, at which he failed. "Yes... Sparkles... How could I forget...", a little bit too monotonuous, perhaps.

Eduardo scoffed at Till and slowly turned around. "I know her name is tacky, but don't forget you were the one to pick it out for her fifteen years ago, right after she was born." He snickered. "Don't worry, I took great care of her while you were gone. She's a real beauty now." He said, slowly turning around and starting to walk away, nudging Till to come along with him.

Till followed him all the way to the back of the stables. When arrived, he understood wat Eduardo had told him. He didn't have any knowledge of horses, but in comparison to the other ones he had just seen, this horse was a beautiful shade of black, with manes in an equally brilliant colour, knotted to perfection.

"I tried to hide her here from your father, because I know he would have sold her if he knew of your specific fondness towards her." Eduardo began. "I heard from my colleagues what happened. I deeply sympathize with your situation, boy, but please try to come visit more often. Me and this trusty steed have been waiting for you for quite some time now." He said, not once averting his eyes from the magnificent animal before them.

Till nodded. "I promise." Was all he managed to say.

After exchanging an appreciative look, Eduardo told him to sit down and wait on a wooden bench located near them. Till did as told, and watched Eduardo delicately get the horse ready with care.

This gave Till a chance to take a better look at Eduardo. The man, who was around the same age as Urak, still appeared to be in great shape, probably from constantly moving around and working hard around the stables. And those efforts showed, based off of the beguiling inside of the building. It had been perfectly maintained, even after... what, exactly?

What had been a wild guess, may have actually been reality. Urak cut the expenses on Will's horseback riding hobby, causing Will to discard his hobbies, in fear of abandonment once again. Perhaps Will was afraid to look Eduardo in the eyes again, resulting in his absence.

Judging from the way Eduardo treated Till, he must have had a big impact on Will with the way he was still so sane in the novel after going through all that shit. Something like... a father figure. Believe him, without having anyone by your side while going through shit like that every day, you wouldn't survive. At least not with all of your sanity still intact. Till himself had Ivan with him as his friend since kindergarten. Maybe they didn't have the most ordinary companionship, but for the both of them, it worked.

Breaking his train of thought, Eduardo walked towards him with Sparkles, reins in hand.

Just before handing the reins over to Till, Eduardo stopped his hand from moving. "Listen kid, I know what has been going on, I have not been living under a rock, even if these stables are secluded. I just want you to stay safe, and think twice before you do something. Don't act rash." He said in a strict tone, but you could still hear some doting timbre beneath the stern front.

Till smiled gently, truly appreciating the words Eduardo was leaving him behind. "I will, thank you Eduardo. I will see you again soon... if I make it back." He joked, and Eduardo scoffed back at him in response.

"If you leave through that door," Eduardo pointed towards an entrance Till hadn't seen before, "you can leave through the back passage of the property. It is pretty much abandoned, so I'm sure you wont meet anyone if you go through there." After finishing his instructions, he handed Till the reins.

Till nodded, gave Sparkles a few pats, and then, his body did the rest of the work. He got on the horse, and thank the Lord, muscle memory was a thing here.

Like it was second nature, Till led the beautiful black animal towards the passage, raising his hand one final time towards Eduardo before taking off in a full gallop, braving the rainfall.

Still trying to remain vigilant, Till kept his hood on until the estate was no longer in sight.

He understood now why Will used to enjoy horseback riding so much. It felt so... freeing. Like nothing was chaining him down. The consequences of his actions could be dealt with later, all he had right now was this very moment.

He looked up at the sky, rain pouring down onto his face.

"Let's fucking go Sparkles!"

Chapter Text

After taking a few turns, Till still remembers the path ahead of him from the night before. He had nothing to do on the way back, resulting in him staring out of the crarriage window the whole time. Though it may had seen like a tedious pastime, in reality, it made him remember the path that they had followed home.

While on the road, they had passed a beautiful pale white estate adorned in all kinds of flora, leading Till to perk up. In the distance, he saw familiar long, waving, pink hair walking up the stairs making her way to the front door, causing the corners of his lips to curve into a small smile.

And now he was here, on the road. On a horse. Called sparkles.

Aside from that embarrassing little fact, he knew that he was getting closer and closer to his desired destination. The trees, the dents in the path, and the surrounding estates began to look more recognizable the closer he got.

Though it was quite hard to see because of the downpour, Till kept his absolute focus on his environment, not wanting to miss his stop.

After wiping rain off of his face for quite another while, Till saw a white shape forming afar, becoming clearer and clearer as he and Sparkles made their way towards it. The horse was surprisingly keeping up very well, constantly performing at a high speed.

Then, after a few seconds, Till reached the gate, briefly stopping, ensuring he was actually at the right place. He took a few swift glances left and right, and though the flowers around the building were less vibrant now because of the cloudy sky, they were still the same flowers as the day before.

Nudging Sparkles to start moving again, the horse walked over to the front of the estate where the entrance was located. As he was getting closer, his plan coming to a conclusion, he realised that he forgot to include a final step to his supposed 'masterplan'.

How would he get in...?

There would unmistakably be guards waiting at the front door, who wouldn't be all that eager to let a suspicious, rain-drenched man on a horse into the residence. They probably wouldn't even alert Mizi of his arrival and just assume that he was a random guy asking for some charity. He would've thought so too if someone in the same outfit as him, mind the hood, would suddenly show up at his front door.

Yet, there was no way to back out now after coming this far, so Till just decided to keep on getting closer and see what would happen. Maybe the Gods would be so kind to grace him with a small miracle today.

As he was approaching the entrance, he saw two figures standing on top of the stairs, holding both of each other's hands. He could already guess who the two were, but he was still too far away to see clearly and make a definite statement.

Before he could properly reach the two figures though, he got stopped by an armed man who spoke up in a large voice. "Sir! You are not permitted to be here, as I have not been noticed of the arrival of a man on a steed today. You may turn around and leave the property right this instant." The man said, his expression stern and unwavering.

Till wasn't sure what to say and started fidgeting with the reins, trying to stall time. He hoped to catch the attention of the two people on top of the stairs, attempting to stare a hole into the sides of their heads.

In response to Till's silence, the guard took a step closer, his hand moving to the hilt of his sword. "I will not be repeating what I have just said. If you don't move within the next five seconds, I will resort to using violence." The guard barked, the look in his eyes turning into an aggrieved glare

Right when Till settled on yelling for help towards the two figures, someone else had beat him to it. "WAIT! LET THAT MAN GO, BRING HIM HERE!" One of the figures shouted while waving their hand frantically. Despite only having heard her voice on the night before, Till recognised that tone in an instant. Mizi.

The guard gave a hesitating look, first towards Till and then towards Mizi, but ultimately sighed. The man had no choice but to obey his mistress. He grabbed the reins and led Till and Sparkles to the two girls, still maintaining the same pose they were upholding earlier.

Once arrived at the bottom of the stairs, Till could confirm that the girls were indeed Mizi and Sua, seemingly partaking in a heartfelt departure based on the manner in which the two of them were holding hands. He got off his horse, and as he did, the guard who had just threatened him took away Sparkles, presumably in the direction of the stables.

The balcony located above the entrance served as a canopy, finally sheltering him from the rain that he had been exposed to for most of the day. Till shook his head, trying to lessen the drops of water streaming down from his hair into his face. He used a hand to slick his hair back, a few strands springing back at the gesture.

He looked up, still remaining at the bottom of the stairs, ready to thank the two girls for helping him officiate the supposed last step to his plan; making it to the front door in one piece. Thinking back on it, maybe the final step being 'actually making it in' would've been a better pick. It doesn't matter anymore though, as it seemed he was now set.

However... Inspecting the two women, supposedly being glued to each other by the hands, he wasn't exactly sure if he was able to tick off that step just yet.

He was being met with bright, saffron eyes with sparkles circulating within them, and next to them, like they were contrasting each other, deep, amethyst eyes that gave a look of disdain, practically pulling him into their vast gaze. Not in a positive sense. It probably wouldn't be all that hard to guess which gaze was from whom.

Breaking the intense eye contact, the girl with the amethyst eyes turned her head into a different direction, which was Mizi's. She raised her hand to break the grip they had on each other's, bringing it to the side of Mizi's face, cupping her cheek. Sua gave her an adorningly sweet smile and whispered something incoherent into the other's ear, which in response made Mizi blush, causing the pink-haired girl to silently nod, which was very uncharacteristic to the cheery version that Till knew.

Sua then broke the contact between the two, gaze not faltering, and slowly made her way down the stairs, waving lightly to Mizi. Though Till's face didn't show it, he was genuinely happy for the two to have such a strong bond already, despite one of them not having the same soul as she had before. The connection between the two was stellar. They were soulmates, if you will.

Till kept his eyes on Sua, who was about to pass him, presumably walking towards the gate where her carriage and coachman were waiting for her to take her home.

But just as she was about to walk past him, she stopped and snapped her head towards Till, amethyst eyes meeting teal ones.

She reached out and grabbed his collar, pulling him towards her. She had a frightning look on her face, devoid of emotion, but behind that, you could see her trying to uphold a front. Her hands were trembling slightly, irises shaking along.

Yet, her expression didn't falter, and she bit some cautious words towards him. "Watch what you say around her, or better yet, stay away from her entirely. I don't know what you are planning, but Mizi is not just some accessory for a noble boy like you. She belongs at my side only. Mind my words, for I will keep you in my sight from now on." She snarled, letting go of him after finishing what she wanted to say. She shook her hand afterwards, as if trying to shake his 'dirty germs' off of her.

Till was slightly offended by that gesture and started to utter something back. "Wait a second, you have the wrong idea! Lady Sua-!" He tried to convey, but the woman with black hair had already began strutting away from the spectacle she had just created, not wanting to hear another word. She said what she had wanted to and didn't need any more additions.

Till turned his head back towards Mizi, trying to scope out her reaction to the scene that had just unfolded, but all she did was raise her hand towards her mouth in an 'oh my' way, and started giggling. Till scoffed, yet couldn't help but also let out a small smile. Yes, that sure was Sua from the novel, all right.

He shook his head and started walking up the stairs towards Mizi. Now that he thought about it, it was somewhat... awkward. How was he supposed to greet her? With a handshake? Just, like, wave? He had always been someone awkward, not knowing how to approach others. He soon reached the top of the stairs, standing eye to eye with Mizi.

He was about to raise his hand, to offer her a small wave, but in an instant, Mizi came latching onto him, pulling him into an intimate hug. She wrapped her arms tightly around him. Till tried to raise a rebuttal. "Mizi, I'm still soaking wet! You could catch a cold-" He tried to yelp, but Mizi ignored him. "Till, I'm so glad you made it! I've been looking forward to seeing you again!!"

Till eventually decided to just go along with it. Mizi was Mizi after all. He brought his arms up as well, wrapping them around her. "Yeah. It was not an easy journey." He said, attempting to say it with full confidence. Mizi broke the contact between them, hands remaining on his shoulders.

She gave him a reassuring smile. "I figured." She said, looking at him up and down, taking in the sight before her. Till was still completely drenched, hair a mess, clothes sticking to his body. "I'm afraid I don't have a spare set of clothes for you, but I do have a towel that you can use. Let us talk afterwards!" Mizi said, hands moving away from his shoulder and turning into fists, making an encouraging pump into the air.

Till nodded and both of them went inside, Till trailing behind Mizi.

Mizi and Till were sitting across from each other at a beautifully decorated table in an equally as gorgeous conservatory. Before them were sweets and cakes displayed on a silver platter, freshly made and brought in from the best pâtissier in the whole country. To accompany the taste of the delectable treats, tea had also been brought out, it being equivalently as appetizing, both in aroma and taste.

The conservatory itself looked vibrant and lively. The table which the two were seated at was placed in the middle of the naturally-lit room, flowers surrounding them, except for a small part where a path was located. Though the sky outside that could be seen was dim, the peppy and colourful flora made up for it, giving the room a bright undertone. While inside, it radiated a summery feeling, excluding the sound of raindrops on the roof giving the thought away.

Mizi took a sip of her fragrant cup of tea. After swallowing, she let out a satisfied sigh and put the cup back on the table with a 'clunk'. She looked into Till's direction, the man across from her slightly resembling a wet cat. The towel he had used to dry his hair with was neatly folded on the ground next to his chair, his drenched cloak left to dry on a nearby bench.

"So... care to tell me how you got here looking like... this?" Mizi said, trying to remain her composure, but almost laughing at the sight in front of her while pointing her finger up and down.

Till frowned, not quite pleased with his current appearance either. "If I tell you about it, you have to tell me about whatever that was with Sua at the front door in return. It's day TWO of being here." He said, brows furrowed. How could she have progressed the plot this far already?

Mizi clasped her hands together with a loud clap, bringing them up to her cheek. "Then, it's a deal!" She happily exclaimed, her eyes radiating sparkles again.

Till shifted his position, folding his hands on the table. This was going to take a while.

And so, Till shared all about the adventures from his day in detail. He had to blow off steam in some way! It was incredibly frustrating to have no one to talk to about your vexations. He talked about the catastrophic descend from his window, the maid that miraculously had helped him, and the tiring journey to their current stay.

Throughout the whole time that Till was telling his story, Mizi kept staring at him in awe, continuously nodding at him to continue, all while shoving tarts and cakes in her mouth like she was a living conveyor belt. Till smiled gently, happy to know that Mizi was genuinely interested in him.

After finishing his last sentence, Till sighed and put his elbow on the table so his head could lean on his hand. "So? Any questions after the lecture? You may go to slide sixty-five and sixty-six for more information." Till jokingly said in a strict manner, resembling a college professor, like an inside joke only the two of them would get in this era.

Mizi giggled, trying to chew the remainders of her desserts quickly so she would be able to talk again. "Sir, I do have one question still left unanswered." She said seriously, her finger on her chin. "...Who is this Eduardo? Maybe I have accidentally skipped over his name when reading the novel, but my memory can't seem to recollect him..."

Till nodded vigorously at her question. "A great question indeed! ...Though I have no idea outside of the conversation I had with him." He said, now dropping the act. "I suppose he must have been a great pillar of support for Will, as he somewhat treated me like his own son." Till mumbled, accidentally drowning away in his own thoughts as his eyes averted to the side.

Mizi hummed, following the direction his eyes went into with her own. After a beat of silence, she spoke up. "The novel was only three hundred pages long. You can't possibly sum up one's life in such a short space, let alone the lives of four people." She raised the finger that was still on her chin, now slightly tapping it. "There probably are hundreds of stories in this world about the four that have never been told nor shared, as they were seemingly deemed uninteresting, not needed. I'm guessing that that is the case here."

Mizi averted her gaze to look back at Till, now making eye contact again. She continued, "But it must be great to have some people who you can depend on now at that terrible 'home', if you could even call it that." Mizi leaned over the table to get closer, making the moment more intimate, more reassuring.

"As I have read the novel too, I know of the terrible situation that you were put in, and against your will at that. Please know that you can always come to me if you seek for refuge!" She showed Till a soft smile before retreating back to her original place.

Till, to be honest, was fairly embarrassed to be cared for that much. It was (almost) nothing like he was used to at all. He had just assumed he got into the same domestic situation as before, but he was wrong. "You're right. I'll take this advantage and make good use of it, and make sure you will do so as well. If anything were to happen to you, you too can come to me. We have each other in this world, after all." Till said while looking at the table. He was not used to talking from the heart like this.

As he felt himself getting stiff, he snapped his head back up to look at Mizi, a sly smirk starting to form on his face. "Well, that's all from me. Now your part of the deal comes in."

You could visibly see Mizi's cheeks grow more scarlet by the second before she put her hands on her cheeks as to hide the change in colour. Not in embarrassment, no. Just the sheer, indirect mention of Sua was enough for the woman to start blushing like a little girl.

"Ahh~~ Well you see~~" She sighed out with a smile, her eyes turning distant, trying to relive the past (the 'past' being the last two days).

"It all began this morning, when she suddenly turned up to my estate, much like you did. Though her entrance was much more elegant, obviously." That earned her a glare from Till. Unbeknownst to it, Mizi continued. "She stormed into the very room we are in right now, where I was eating my breakfast. This room just gives me a boost to start my day, you know?"

Till took a swift look around the room, understanding her sentiment, and quickly nodded to her for her to continue her story.

"So, she ran over to me and grabbed my hands. Ah, it was so romantic!" She squealed as she put her face in her hands, followed by her head rapidly shooting up again.

"And after that, she was all like, 'Who was that man you were with last night!?' while tears were streaming down her face! Oh, how I love that I'm the only one she shows her true feelings to!" Mizi said, wiping away a fake tear in the corner of her eye, expressing how she felt touched.

Till raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. He started to question the tale Mizi had told. "So you're saying she cried in front of you, and now you guys have some sort of invisible bond between the two of you?" Was this a lesbian thing?

He had brought Mizi back to reality because she was looking him in the eyes again with a certain mischief. "No of course not, silly!" Her lips curled into a smile that almost reached her ears.

"I told her I would never marry a guy like you if a woman like her were around, and that I loved her!" She said coolly in the tone in which she normally spoke.

Wow. Uh, yeah. What the fuck. Till got why Sua immediately swooned when Mizi said that to her after years of pining. What a way to make the plot progress. Slow burn who?

Till wasn't sure how to answer. He wanted to act shocked, but he wasn't even all that surprised. It was... really Mizi, to say the least. "Damn, congrats." He tried to say nonchalantly, but it only sounded more awkward. He was genuinly happy for her, he just wasn't great in showing how he felt to other people.

Mizi, oblivious to his awkwardness, who didn't even seem to have the word noted down in her personal dictionary, thanked him, a small blush forming on her cheeks. Though she was a very straightforward girl, she also blurted out things without thinking first, the situation with Sua being a prime example. Though it had worked out in her favour, she probably didn't think any of the words she had said through, and just spoke her mind.

"Are you guys dating now?" Till asked, reaching forward to grab one of the small, remaining cakes on the platter because Mizi ate most of them, munching away when listening to his story. He didn't really care, as he didn't have much of a sweet tooth anyway.

Just as he had grabbed one that looked especially tempting, a plain, vanilla pastry with not much cream, Mizi yelped very loudly. Upon the sound, he dropped the tart and brought his hands to his ears, a ring resonating inside his head.

He looked at the origin of the sound, eyes wide and startled. He was met with a panicking Mizi who was biting her nails from stress. "Oh my god! I didn't even think of that! I still need to ask her! After that whole ordeal we just got so in the moment, it being very emotional and all and just started making out-"

Till slammed his hand on the table, the other hand covering wide agape mouth and reddening cheeks. "-O-okay Mizi, I get what you're trying to say. I think it's pretty obvious that you guys are in a relationship now, even if the words were never spoken out loud!" 

Mizi listened to his words and seemed to contemplate them for a few seconds before speaking up again. "Yeah, you must be right. Because afterwards, when we were standing on top of the stairs just before you interruped us, she was saying that next time-"

Mizi was then interrupted by Till again who was coughing really loudly all of a sudden. Mizi tried to hand him some tea, that had turned cold by now, but he waved her off, indicating that he was doing fine (he had been fine the whole time).

After a few more coughs to make his coughing fit seem more realistic, he spoke up in a raspy voice. "How did Sua spot us anyway? If I recall correctly, we didn't see her the whole night. Not at the beginning of the banquet, nor at the end." He remarked, taking the fork before him in his hands to fiddle with. He still felt a bit awkward, and so needed a distraction.

"Oh, right! I was wondering that too, so when i asked Sua about it, she said that she had heard it from somewhere, because I had mentioned being escorted by a gentleman to her cousin, the crown prince. They were forced to stay together the whole evening, so I presume they must have shared some words between the two of them." Mizi answered.

"Uh, so just by the slight mention of me, she already knew who I was the second I arrived here? She was coming for my throat, Mizi." Till said, trying to remain serious, but also finding it quite hilarious as she did not seem to know Mizi and his ulterior motives.

Mizi laughed loudly with her hand in front of her mouth, recalling the memory of a short while ago. "That's true... but knowing Sua, you know how she is too, she was probably up all night to research who it was that tried to woo her beloved."

Mizi leaned back into her seat, looking like she was trying to remember something. "I don't know who she got the information from, but since the palace of the royal family is her 'territory', she probably had enough servants to tell her about everything..." Still deep in thought, by now talking to herself, Mizi continued.

"It couldn't have been the crown prince, Ivan, because he didn't see you..."

Mizi kept talking, but Till wasn't listening anymore. With a loud 'clang', the fork that he had been holding fell to the ground, silencing the room.

This couldn't be a coincidence, right?

Will turned into Till. Navi... turned into Ivan.

Oh my god. It all made sense. Had he been fucking dumb?

He grabbed his jaw with his hand and started laughing hysterically. Maybe a quiet tear ran down the corner of his eye, but Till didn't have to admit that.

Too consumed in his new-found discovery, he didn't notice Mizi had ran to his side, shaking him back and forth to get him back to reality. "Till!? Till what's wrong, you're scaring me!" she shouted, concern hovering over her voice.

Till grabbed the arms that were extended to him and looked Mizi into her eyes which were filled with distress. "Mizi-  -Ivan, it's Ivan."  He stumbled over his words, trying to get the message across.

Though Till had never told her Ivan's name, which was, now that he thought about it, pretty stupid, she seemed to understand. With strength Till didn't know she had, she pulled him to his feet, shaking him recklessly once again. "Then what are you still doing here!? Go get your man!!"

"Wait, that's not- Whatever, I'm going to the palace right now! We'll talk more another time!" He said as he ran to the bench to grab his cloak, then quickly bolted to the door. There was only one thing, one person on his mind right now.

"Good luck, Till!" Mizi yelled at him as he opened the door, waving her hand up in the sky.

As soon as Till had left the conservatory, he ran straight to the rear of the estate, where the stables were presumably located, to get Sparkles. He would reach the palace much quicker that way. He got a few strange looks from the servants of the household, but he couldn't care less at the moment.

Sparkles was luckily still saddled upon arrival, and without sparing the stableman a glance, he sprung onto the horse's back and began galloping away.

Just as he knew the way to Mizi's estate, he had remembered how to get to the palace as well. It wasn't far. He would get there soon. Fortunately for him, the weather had cleared up as well.

He still wasn't a hundred percent sure, but it couldn't be a coincidence, right? The pieces fit the puzzle perfectly, the only confirmation he needed now was with his own eyes.

After a short while, Till and Sparkles reached the grandiose gates of the palace which seemed to be open. The plaza in front of the palace was always accessable to the general, serving as a public garden for the nobles to leisurely stroll through.

He rode all the way to the imposing entrance of the palace in a full gallop, ignoring the people he almost ran over in the process. He didn't even notice them, too caught up in his own thoughts mixed with exhilaration.

Once arrived, Till practically jumped off of Sparkles and tied up her reins to a nearby lamppost. He had to travel the last fifty or-so meters on foot. No sooner said than done, he started rushing towards the prestigious doors, not perceiving the way he was already out of breath.

There was one feature of his impulsive decision that he had not thought through for the second time today. Guards. And of course, to his luck, he was at the palace now, so they were larger in number, and heavier in arms.

'Fuck this.' Till thought, if he was faster than them they couldn't do anything to him, right? And if he miraculously found Ivan, he could shoo them off for him.

And so, Till's quick, but well-thought out plan (in his opinion) had been set in motion, as the fifty metres from before had turned into thirty, then ten, and then zero. He had reached the front door.

When the guards noticed him running in on them at an inhumane speed, they immediately got into defensive positions with their hands on the hilt of their swords, but it seemed as though they were not cut out for their jobs, as the adrenaline-driven Till pounded through them at full speed.

Till arrived at the lavish reception hall where he had also been the day before. Of course, he didn't know the full layout of the palace, but there were bits and pieces his memory seemed to recollect.

He had no time to think unfortunately, as the guards on the opposite side of the door had also noticed him, and, like the guards from outside, went chasing after him. He kept yelling for Ivan, hoping to lure the man in question into his direction.

After taking a few turns and turning some corners, guards still hot on his heels, he heard a faint noise coming from the end of the hallway.

It sounded like humming. Familiar humming.

Till's breath got caught in his throat as he kept on running and running, all to reach the origin of the sound.

He ran into the door with his arms stretched out, palms flat. He entered the room, and took a second to look around.

The guards didn't miss this opportunity, forcefully grabbing his arms, trying to subdue him. In the act, his cloak fell to the ground.

Till grunted, attempting to break himself free. This couldn't end here! He wasn't done yet! What would happen if he got caught? Would he be thrown into the dungeon, to never see the light of day again, never able to search for Ivan anywhere? When he was this close?

Through the chaos that could be called his mind right now, a noise as sharp as a bullet cut right through his thoughts.

'Bam!'  the falling books resonated through the whole room, deafening the ruckus in a split-second.

Till raised his head to follow the direction of the sound, when all of a sudden, teal eyes were met with gorgeous, jet-black ones, accompanied by a hint of scarlet.

"Till?" Ivan said in disbelief.

Chapter Text

Multiple books fell with a loud noise into a pile on the ground. The sound resonated through the library, bouncing off of the hundreds of other pieces of literature that were packed on the shelves.

"Till?" Ivan said with his eyes wide and mouth agape, practically running over to where Till was held by the guards.

Ivan stood before him, eyes as dark and deep as a black hole looking at Till up and down, trying to make sense of the situation, to verify the thoughts running through his mind.

The prince's head shot at the multiple guards that held Till tight in their grip. He spoke up in a hoarse voice, completely different from the way he had just called the other man's name. "What are you doing? Release him right this instant and leave this room."

The guards stepped back, all sweating profusely, and retreated with their tails between their legs, neatly closing the door behind them.

Both men faced each other for a few more seconds in complete silence before the taller more or less flew towards Till, extending his arms and grabbing his face.

"Till? Is this real? Am I dreaming?" Ivan rambled, starting to knead Till's cheeks. His expression was somewhat a mix of confusion, relief, and disbelief. It seemed that his signature snaggletooth had also been included in the reincarnation, as it was poking his lip in a way that Till was all too familiar with.

Till raised his hands, putting them on top of Ivan's to stop him from abusing his face and swelling up his cheeks. "Ivan, you dumbass, it is me." It may have seemed like Till’s delirious emotional state of just seconds ago had disappeared after the momentum, yet he was just controlling the raging storm inside of him. From within, every fiber was screaming, longing to fall to the floor on his knees, but the embarrassment of such a scenario would probably kill him.

And so, he smoothly put Ivan's hands back down and released them, nodding his head once in the process to assure Ivan that it was okay, that it was him. Someone had to be the rational one at the moment. There just weren't many times that that person was Till.

Both were unsure what to do. It was clear that they had been searching for each other, but now that they actually saw each other again, they didn't know where to start. It had only been two days, but to them, it felt like it had been years.

Ivan was the first to act, as he grabbed Till's hand and led them to a secluded seating area, probably so they could have a conversation to sort everything out. He squeezed Till's hand as they walked, knuckles turning white, as if he was afraid he would lose him again. Had Ivan always been this emotional?

They sat diagonally next to each other, with Ivan crossing his legs and Till pulling up his knees to sit more comfortably. Thinking back... This was usually how they were seated. One neat, the other comfortable. 

Ivan was the first to speak up, as usual. He had always been the initiator, dragging Till along with his crazy ideas. It all started way back in kindergarten, when Till was sitting in a corner, all by himself, the way he liked it. Ivan was the one to walk up to him, extending his hand towards Till. Till, of course, slapped it away, not so trusting of a stranger. After days on end, Ivan kept trying, his small hand becoming bruised from all the slaps it was receiving, yet the raven didn't stop. Eventually, after a lot more rejections, Till felt sorry for the other and gave in. He always did when it came to Ivan, but that day had set the start of it all.

Ivan cleared his throat to get Till's attention, which was starting to misdirect. "So... How have you been?" He asked with his usual smile plastered onto his face, yet his hands were fumbling together messily. As relaxed of a person as Ivan was, even he couldn't keep calm in a situation like this. Everything has been nothing but a rollercoaster so far after all, and Till was sure it would've been the same for Ivan, even if he seemed so collected on the outside all of the time. He knew even less about their current circumstances than Till.

Till sighed, trying to relax his tense body for a bit. "Well, fucking awful. Everything seems to be working against me here, and I can't stop feeling anxious because-"

Till stopped talking mid-sentence and began to stare at the floor, leaving a second of silence between them. He seems to be deep in thought all of a sudden.

Ivan places his hand on the other man's shoulder, the gesture serving as genuine concern. Ivan's usual teasing had been absent for the day, even Ivan himself sensing that this wasn't the right moment. This particular moment certainly not.

"Till? Are you all right?" Ivan asks, lightly shaking Till's shoulder, not used to seeing his best friend in a state like this.

Till then grabs the extended arm with brute force, making Ivan flinch from the sudden sting of pain. Ivan, like the freak he is, just laughs it off. "Till, what are you doing—" He laughed, trying to place his vacant hand on top of the one that was cutting his blood circulation short, but was then rapidly yanked towards the other man in a split second.

"You fucker... Why the fuck did you do that, huh!? What in your right mind made you think that that was the right thing to do!?" Till yelled at him, his breathing ragged, words slugging. They were now inches away from each other, feeling the other's breaths on their skin, causing the moment to feel more real.

Ivan stared into Till's eyes, tilting his head a bit to the side. "What do you mean? What did I do?" He asked Till, his voice dripping with innocence. Had this bastard really forgotten what he had done? What he had gotten himself into? What he had done for Till?

Till inhaled through his nose sharply, not believing a word that Ivan had just said to him. "You—you really forgot?" The man with silver hair started, his face almost turning red from anger. "Don't fuck with me! Why the fuck would you try to save me in such a hopeless situation!? Even if it was just in the spur of the moment, even you could see that you wouldn't even be able to make it! And all of that, just for me—" Till exclaimed hysterically, his voice starting to break due to a multitude of different emotions hitting him all at once.

He didn't know where to start, continue, or end. The whole situation was just so absurd to him. He had tried to push the thoughts away, not wanting to feel as miserable as he did back then in his last moments. The sight of a bloodied and dying Ivan, his body slowly turning colder by the second.

All of that for him. For him.

Till, the child with a broken household, which left even himself broken from the inside.

Till, the loser with a girlish hobby, never fitting in with the others.

Till, the idiot that couldn't even keep track of his own life. Whether it was attendance or even a simple meal, he couldn't do anything by himself.

Just think about it. Isn't it crazy? Inconceivable? To give up your whole life, everything you've ever worked for, for a failure like him? Without any hesitation?

Ivan dropped his unknowing act, prioritising Till's mental state over keeping quiet and shoving everything that happened under a rug. "Till, you might not realize this now, but to me..." Ivan sighed, not being able to wrap his head around the fact that Till just didn't seem to understand.

"To me, a world without you... would just be too hard to bear."

Till watched Ivan's facial expression soften while finishing his sentence. There wasn't one muscle in his face displaying the 'perfect appearance' that Ivan had been taught since childhood. He meant every word, every syllable of what he said to Till.

Till felt his heart thumping in his chest, suddenly comprehending the reality of what was happening and the intimate way they were talking to each other, mere inches away from the other's face. He felt unknown heat creeping up to his cheeks and pushed Ivan away into the backrest of the couch which the other man was sitting on, desperate to create distance.

Till wasn't sure of what to do. He suddenly felt very... embarrassed. And so, he fell back to his most used and most trusted technique.

Avoidance.

"Fuck!" Till muttered, turning his head to the side. Why wouldn't the heat on his face go away? Was it that hot in this library? Had the palace been set on fire? 

After Till calmed down, which took a minute or two where Ivan was patiently waiting for him, he slowly turned his head back to look at Ivan again, his hand supporting his chin so that it was covering his mouth. "Don't ever think of doing something like that again. I mean it. I'll kill you." He muttered under his breath, but it came out muffled because of the hand restricting his speech.

Ivan, who was still in the same position he was in after being pushed back, sat upwards, coming closer to Till once again. "But if I'm dead, how will you be able to kill me?" The raven said with a smug grin on his face, snaggletooth poking out.

His comment earned him a hard punch on his shoulder from Till. "That was not... funny… And even if you manage to do that a second time, I swear that I'll find you again, even if it's in the afterlife, to fucking kill you. You won't get rid of me that easily, this universe being the prime example." Till said, waving his hand around from the impact of the punch he had given.

Ivan rubbed his shoulder, yet his face did not give away any signs of being in pain. "Ow, ow, all right, all right, I get it. I won't do anything like that again, and I'm sorry." Ivan said, his eyes never leaving Till's. It had always been like that. It may look a bit creepy, but honestly, that was just how Ivan was.

"Well—okay, right, so." Till began awkwardly, quickly wanting to change the topic. It had begun to get too sappy for him. "How have you been? You know, being the crown prince and all?" He asked, pushing the previous conversation far away into the back of his head. That was something to think about when lying in bed later that night, tossing and turning about what he could have done better and why he was such an embarrassing idiot. Ugh. Couldn't his thoughts just turn off for a second?

Ivan sighed deeply, as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders after someone finally asked him that question. It must be a lot, being a crown prince and all. Especially if you weren't one originally. Ivan was rich, but that's nothing like being a crown prince. Probably. Till didn't have any experience in either field.

"Honestly, it's been exhausting." Ivan sighed out as he purposely relaxed his muscles so that he flopped down onto the couch, now lying down on his back. His previously neatly styled hair fell loosely on his forehead, a result of being physically and verbally abused by Till (Till would beg to differ, insisting that Ivan deserved it. Ivan would probably agree). "I woke up in a state of shock, wondering where you were and how you were doing, and suddenly it was my birthday...? There were attendants everywhere and guests to greet— I don't know how I managed all that. I just stood there with a smile, nodding to what all those nobles were saying to me. I could understand what they were trying to say about politics and such, but I completely missed all the context." Ivan said, rambling away without taking a breath once.

Till drifted away from the conversation, focusing specifically on one word Ivan had said. 'context'... 

Ah, right! Of course Ivan knew what kind of novels Till was reading, but he didn't know anything about the novels themselves. He had never read any of them, after all. He must not know yet that they were reincarnated into a novel. Not just some random medieval-like world.

"-And so I came here to the library, hoping to find some books to gather information, before you burst into the room like my prince on a white horse." Ivan finished, emphasizing the last few words with a grin, not noticing that Till had zoned out throughout his story.

Till attempted to raise his voice to enlighten Ivan about their, for Till, not-so unfamiliar surroundings, but was quickly interrupted by Ivan, who was not done talking yet. "Till, please, I want you to know that I have not stopped thinking about you for one moment. Whenever I could, I would think of ways to find you, far and wide, pauper or king." He refrained from talking further, and a beat of silence followed. It seemed like Ivan was unsure of what to say, not wanting to overstep any boundaries their friendship had set. To not let his true feelings show, for he was afraid to be left alone.

Till quickly followed up, his story matching Ivan's. Not that he will say anything about how desperate he had been... He shudders at the thought of Ivan's relentless teasing once he finds out about that. Nope. Not telling. "I guess we must've missed each other at the banquet... I also went on a search, but the person I was with told me she met you, so I guess you were there while I was investigating other places."

Ivan raised an eyebrow. He was still lying down, so he sat up and scooted closer to where Till was sitting, scarlet pupils burning holes through the Till's face. "She? What other person? Who were you with?" Ivan asked in a neutral tone, but Till knew Ivan longer than today, so he must be dying inside to know.

"Right, I meant to tell you." Till spoke up, and Ivan tilted his head a little in curiosity, eyes still boring into the other's face. "We were not reincarnated into some alternate universe, but into the world of the book I read before we were... run over. You know, the one I almost finished, but we had to rush to class." Inside Till's mind, he was basking in triumph, finally being the one that was omniscient and smarter. Usually Ivan was the pedantic, annoying Till to no end.

Ivan made a humming noise, his index finger slightly tapping his chin. "Now that you mention it, that does make a lot of sense, given the setting. I'm guessing we're the love interests for the heroine?" He responded, not even doubting a thing.

A figurative thundercloud formed above Till's head. "What the fuck, man! You're supposed to get on your knees and thank me for bringing you this brilliant revelation! Acting like you know it all... We both know I'm the expert here, so don't go stealing my spotlight, idiot." Tch, he should've known better. Of course Ivan would sheepishly believe anything Till said. He even tried to act more intelligent at that!

Ivan widely smiled, revealing his teeth. His teeth were sharp, canine. His snaggletooth was no exception, even sometimes drawing blood out of his own lip after smiling or laughing too hard. "But of course! Why, thank you, my dear Tillie," Ivan said while giggling, moving to get off of the couch to get onto the ground, his hands on Till's knees. He looked like a fucking dog.

Till was beyond himself as he saw the scene unfolding before him. He wasn't surprised, because, well, it was Ivan, but then he remembered that Ivan was supposed to be the crown prince of the story, and he wondered what his subjects would think if they could see the same thing Till was right now. "Hell no, getting on your knees was a joke, and you know that, Ivan!! And stop calling me that name, for God's sake!" He raised his knee and extended his foot so he could kick Ivan onto the floor, in which he succeeded. "Do you want to hear about the plot of the novel or not!?" Till continued, still in an agitated frenzy.

Ivan couldn't stop laughing and put his hand in front of his mouth to forcibly restrain himself. "All right, let's hear it." He said after calming down, slowly crawling his way onto the couch again.

Till scoffed, but immediately started explaining everything to Ivan right after. About the storyline, the heroine, the worldbuilding, the side characters, and anything he could remember and recollect. And last but not least, he began talking about the love interests, who were them. Along the story, Ivan's attention never wavered, keeping his full concentration on Till and his words. Till also told Ivan about the dreary relationship between Will and Vani, which earned him a frown from Ivan.

"We're supposed to hate each other? Or rather, you're supposed to hate me? But Till, you don't hate me, do you?" Ivan asked the other man, his expression blank, but you could see a faint sparkle forming in his usually dark eyes.

Till, being too consumed in his own thoughts because he was ultimately focusing on the telling of the novel, trying not to miss anything, answered Ivan without thinking twice. "Huh? Of course I don't hate you, why would I—" Till said in a disinterested voice, before realizing his mouth was faster than his mind. Well, actually, his heart had been faster. He quickly cleared his throat, trying to change the subject. "Anyway, about Navi—"

Ivan was truthfully a little shocked by Till's blatant honesty, not expecting that kind of answer out of Till. He had anticipated to just be flipped off or cussed out for asking such a cheesy question, but was surprised by a heartfelt answer, though Till would have never said that if he hadn't been spacing out. Till never acted like it, tried to hide it even, but he always wore his heart on his sleeve. Whether it was only Ivan who noticed it or if it was a widely known fact, he did not know. But behind Till's closed-off nature, Ivan saw the real him. The beauty of a raw and emotional person. Not that Till would understand it himself. Ivan hoped he would one day, that he could view himself the same way Ivan saw him.

"Hellooo, earth to the crown prince? Are you paying attention? I was talking about your future, you know." Till sighed out, snapping his fingers in front of Ivan's face. The raven's eyes flickered a bit, indicating that he woke up from whatever hellhole was located inside of his head.

Ivan flashed him an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I guess I was trying to process all of the information and shut down for a quick second. What were you saying?" He asked, his full attention on Till yet again.

Till glared at him with slight disbelief, since Ivan wasn't really the person to zone out a lot. Well, he supposes that happens to everyone once in a while, right? "So, as I was saying," he resumed, "the princely duties were never explicitly explained in the novel itself, but I guess as a business major, you might know a thing or two. You'll figure it out." Till dismissed the matter, his head already hurting from only trying to think about politics and rulership and whatnot.

"Furthermore," Till continued, "a major plot point that brought the heroine and Navi together was the vulnerability he showed around her. Since he had a lot on his shoulders as the crown prince, he was forced to act professional and exemplary all of the time. He could be himself around the heroine, finally letting that weight off of his shoulders." He explained to the man in question. Well, not exactly the man in question, but the man that was supposed to be him.

"Now, we don't have to worry about the heroine," Till said, noticing that Ivan wanted to speak after that but not giving him the chance to, "but please keep in mind that this is not your world. I know that you are used to overworking yourself and shit, and that you are used to people expecting too much of you, but use this new opportunity as an escape from that cycle." Till was proud of himself for saying that to Ivan. See? He could be caring when he wanted to.

Without thinking for even a second, Ivan rapidly fired a question at Till, disregarding the care the other had just shown him. He probably didn't even hear it. "Okay, fine, but what was that about the heroine? You being a love interest too and stuff?" He asked, suddenly a lot closer to Till. Did this bastard even blink?

'This bitch...' Till thought to himself. Tch, forget about that concern. It was clear Ivan didn't need it if he acted that way. Till sighed deeply and decided to just answer Ivan with a blank expression plastered on his face. "You know, the girl I was talking about a minute ago? The one I was with at the banquet?" Ivan nodded profusely. "That's the heroine. Her name is Mizi, her name didn't change after the reincarnation because it was the same as in our original world."

Ivan stared at Till, being a tad confused. Then Till remembered he had forgotten to relay to Ivan another very important fact. "Mizi is also reincarnated. The smiley girl with the pink hair." He said, waiting for Ivan's crazy response, like, 'Wow, that's so cool, Till!' and, 'Wow, I can't believe you figured this all out while I didn't do anything! You're the best, Till!' And whatnot. He had to try and stay nonchalant about it, though.

In response, Ivan crossed his arms and shrugged his shoulders, staying silent for a beat. "Ah, that makes sense." He said while slightly nodding to himself.

'Makes sense??? Makes sense, my ass!' Ivan found out about this whole 'reincarnating-into-a-novel' thing a few minutes ago, what is there to make sense to him!? Till had to question him further on the matter. He couldn't rest easy with Ivan's lame-ass response. "And what exactly makes sense to you?" Till chose to react in a calm manner. He has had a lot of crashouts as of late. It was time to take a breather.

Ivan cast his eyes upwards, trying to recall the moment he met Mizi for the first time, and the only time until now for that matter. "Well, when we conversed a bit out of formality, I complimented her on the dress she was wearing. In return, she complimented me back, but I think she almost misspoke. I believe she was trying to call my outfit 'slay'?" Till spat out a laugh, making Ivan grin.

It seemed Ivan was not done with his retelling, as he continued to speak even after Till was done laughing. "She corrected herself in time, and given the situation, I didn't think much of it. Looking back on it now, I pretty much managed to connect the dots." After finishing his story, Ivan stayed silent for a few seconds, though it seemed like he still had something to say. Till noticed, and waited until Ivan decided to do so or not.

"Say... What is Mizi's goal after her reincarnation...?" Ivan said in a tone that was more silent than his usual. Was he shy? Oh hell no, did he manage to catch feelings for her or something? 'This fucking...' ...He had to set the record straight. For Mizi. Only for her.

He kicked Ivan in the shin, yet the man in question remained unmoving. "Don't even think about it." Till began, his eyebrow twitching. "She wants to get it on with Sua, as the real heroine didn't even seem to notice her as a love interest, and she is her favourite character, so stay away from them." He spat out, making sure Ivan got the warning.

"I think you’ve got it wrong..." Ivan responded, his voice slowly fading away into a sigh. "Anyway, I think I know Sua, she is a cousin of mine here, right?" Till nodded before Ivan continued. "I talked to her for a second, but it seemed that she wasn't quite fond of me. I think I know the reason why now. Believe me, I probably won't take much pleasure in talking to Sua again anytime soon." He laughed, quite an awkward one. Till understood what he meant, though.

"I can second that..." Till responded. "She didn't quite like me either, I suppose. She gave me a nasty look and a warning to not get too close to Mizi. Shame though, because it rather seems as though Mizi won't leave me alone." He chuckled, remembering the woman with pink hair. "She was actually the one to tell me your name was Ivan, not Vani. I didn't know because the people here had only called you 'crown prince'. Talk about a misunderstanding." He scoffed, his smile turning into an annoyed eyeroll.

Ivan crossed his legs, placing his elbow on his knee so his chin could rest on his hand. "But we're here now, aren't we?" He told Till with a bright smile. The way his tousled hair slowly fell out of the styled shape, his neat and princely clothes, probably specifically selected, creased because of Till's constant roughhousing. He appeared wilder than his usual, well-kept look, more free. Frankly, he looked handsome... for the ladies! Yes, for the hundreds of noble ladies that surrounded him on the night before. Yes. Absolutely.

Till ignored the way he felt his ears getting hotter by the second and his heart skip a beat. It must be because summer is around the corner! "Yeah! Right! Yay...!" Till imaginatively punched himself right in the face. Calm the fuck down, would you!? He looked around for a distraction, and found an antique clock resting next to a shelf of books. "Damn, would you look at that. It looks like my time is up. You know, confinement and all that." Till explained, brushing the latter matter off.

Ivan looked puzzled, his eyebrows furrowing into a look of confusion. "Confinement? What do you mean by that?" He asked Till, his voice turning darker with every word spoken.

Ah, so Till also forgot to tell him that. Don't blame him, okay? Everyone forgets things sometimes. Even telling about your abusive father who confines you to your room without food for three days on end and hates the guts of your best friend and his family which makes it almost impossible to see each other and if he catches you doing that he will probably either disown, imprison or murder you. Right?

Till slid back to reality when he realized he said all of those things aloud and not just in his head. He slowly turned his head towards Ivan, who looked like a vein on his forehead was about to pop. Had he ever seen Ivan so angry? Or show that much pure emotion at all?

Ivan shot up from his spot on the couch and started stomping towards the door which Till stormed in through earlier. Till bolted after him, grabbing the other's upper arm in an attempt to stop him from his anger-clouded frenzy. "Where do you think you're going?" Till hastily asked, trying to stop Ivan with all his might, though Ivan proved to be stronger than he thought.

Still, Ivan halted when Till asked him to. Till released Ivan's arm, jabbing his shoulder lightly. "Ivan?" Ivan seemed to stare at the floor, a slight pout forming on his lips. He never changed. Till felt as if he was looking at the Ivan from all those years ago, still small and cute, pouting when he was upset or if things didn't go his way.

Eyes still stuck on the floor, Ivan answered with a murmur. "...er him..." Till leaned in closer, not being able to understand the words being spoken. "What? Repeat that for me?" Till asked, trying to meet his eyes.

"Murder him." Ivan said, face still a bit red from anger, foot tapping slightly in agitation.

Till was... stunned, to say the least. For Ivan to resort to such exclamations, he must really be angry. He had said similar things in their previous life too, but never went through with anything said. Till always calmed him down, telling him that it was much more fun to see the enemy suffer before their end. Though he never disagreed with Ivan's aggressive tendencies. Sure, it was more of a say-thing than a do-thing, but his life would definitely be better if Urak were gone. Or his own father from their previous life, for that matter. Guess their light went out first.

Till took a few small steps so he stood in front of Ivan, slightly shaking him by the shoulders. "Ivan, come on, you know that's not realistic. We'll figure something out another time. You know he won't be able to put me down that easily. I mean, I'm standing here right now, I'm not in his stupid estate, all holed up in my luxurious room. Besides, it turns out I have servants working for me that seem to support me, not that obnoxious fatass."

Till released his hands from Ivan's shoulders, after which Ivan used his own hand to try and style his hair back into its right shape. "Fine. Just know I do have the authorities for that as the crown prince, so if you ever need me, just give me a call. Or send a letter." Ivan's face remained serious, drawing out a chuckle from Till. Most people would expect Till to be the one to say hostile things like so, but Ivan had his fair share of moments too. Something about 'I only get that way when it comes to you'. Till shrugged it off at that time, appreciating his best friend's sentiment.

Till cleared his throat and took a step closer towards the door. While performing this action, he swiftly grabbed his cloak that was lying abandoned on the ground. "I really should go now. If I get caught, we might never see each other again. For real this time. I'll figure out a way for us to meet up, although it probably won't be possible for us to see each other in places where the public can see us." Till sighed. "I'm really sorry about all this." He wasn't only sorry about the difficulty of meeting up. He was sorry for everything. Ivan knew.

The wrinkles between Ivan's eyebrows disappeared, his expression turning into a soft gaze instead. "It's okay. None of it is your fault, after all. If you would be able to let one of your good-hearted servants send out a letter to me, whatever you say or wherever you want me to be, I'll be there." Ivan said, and Till nodded in response, a smile displaying on his features too.

"Well then, I'll take my leave now—" Till tried to say before Ivan grabbed his arm, withholding him from walking any further. "Wait!" Ivan said hastily, attempting to pull Till closer to him. Ivan was pulling him a bit too strong, as Till almost fell over and was now trying to balance himself on one leg. Till thought to himself that he should work out now that he has the time. Sitting around and reading books hadn’t earned him many gains.

"You—I'm going to fall over! What is it??" Till yelped, his eyes on the hand that had just grabbed him, then shifting his gaze to glare at Ivan. The other released him to use his now free hand to point at the countless shelves filled with books surrounding them. "Books! You like reading books, right? They have all kinds of genres here, anything you can think of, so please take a look and bring some with you before you leave." Ivan said, already walking towards the shelves, hand still on Till's wrist.

Till knew it was somewhat of an excuse to make him stay a little longer, but... he didn't want to refuse. Was there anyone who would? The books at his own estate were shit, and Ivan allowed him to take some home, so... Who was he to refuse such an incredible act of kindness from his own friend?

"...Okay, but I really have to go after that. Got it?" Till told him, only planning to stay for a minute or ten more.

...An hour later, Till sat slumped against a shelf of romance novels, reading bits and pieces from each book to find out if they suited his taste. Ivan sat next to him with his chin on Till's shoulder, reading along with Till, though Till knew Ivan was way more into the classical literature genre. Till closed the book and put it on his 'take with' pile. The pile was surprisingly low for him, as the authors in this universe tended to write in a boring style fit for noble women who were probably sick of their husbands. Till was more interested in books aimed at adolescents. Still, he was satisfied with the ones he picked out, everything being better than the books stacked in his own room.

Wait... His estate? Till quickly sat up straight, hitting Ivan with his shoulder in the process. He looked at the windows and noticed that the sky had begun to turn dark, the sun starting to set. "Fuck...!" Till muttered under his breath, scrambling up as he tried to carry the books he had collected. "I need to go now, I really don't want Urak to find out I'm gone." Till said, hurrying to put his cloak on that had almost dried up by now. "Not that he'll check on me anyway..." He silently added, the indifference in his voice showing.

Ivan also stood up to walk him out of the palace, feeling apologetic for not informing Till of the time (did he really?). "Here." He beckoned, handing Till a nearby messenger bag for him to put his newly collected books in. "If you need new ones, just tell me. You're always welcome, of course." He said with a princely smile, hands on his back. Quite charming.

Till slung the bag over his shoulder after putting the books inside. He nudged his head at Ivan to signal him to come along. "Yeah, all right. I will. Thank you a lot." Till said in a hurry, but Ivan knew he truly was thankful. For the whole hour they silently sat next to each other, Till's smile never disappeared.

Once they reached the front doors to the palace, the guards tensed up just a bit, only for Ivan to ignore them completely to open the doors and start walking outside. He probably wasn't allowed to do so as their beloved prince without an escort, but how could a mere guard try to speak up against the one and only crown prince?

They arrived at the bottom of the stairs, Ivan looking left and right, trying to find something. "Where's the carriage you came with?" He asked, turning his head to look at Till, slightly tilting.

Till sighed at Ivan's stupidity. He sneaked out; how obvious would it have been if he took a whole ass carriage with him? His sigh soon turned into a gasp as he realized he had left Sparkles alone and outside for quite a some time now. He looked in the direction of the lamppost at which he had tied her up. Luckily she was still there, and he began to walk over to his trusted horse. Ivan quickly followed suit.

Till briskly untied the reins and got onto the horse, stroking her neck a few times as an apology. He’d better not tell Eduardo about this... His thoughts were soon cut short by a speaking Ivan. "A horse, huh... I'm surprised you can ride it. Maybe I can too? We can go on rides together then." He smiled sweetly at Till, no ill intent behind it.

Till imagined the scenario and liked the idea that Ivan came up with. It sounded very... freeing. And so, he nodded in response, agreeing to the proposal being made. It was very gratifying to be able to make plans like this again. Everything didn't turn out to be so bad after all.

Once Ivan had his share of petting Sparkles too, it was time to depart. Till never knew how to. He always found it quite difficult. Was he supposed to say bye and just... go? Or wave?

Before he could overthink some more, Ivan interrupted him by pinching his upper thigh, receiving a yelp from Till.

Till was about to get angry at him, but Ivan's words were quicker than his. "Good night, Till. Stay safe. I'll see you again soon, so try and dress up for me a little, yeah?" He laughed, looking at the state Till was in right now. Though Till had tried his best to look presentable before departing, it was also before conquering the rainfall.

Till scoffed and mouthed a clear 'Fuck you'  into Ivan’s direction. He turned around, getting ready to leave. He hesitated for a second before turning his head around for the last time. "See you." He said quietly, but still coherently.

After turning his head back, looking into the direction he wished to go in, Till nudged the reins and started galloping away with Sparkles into the setting sun.

Ivan stared at the silver-haired man as he left on his black steed until he was out of sight. After a few minutes of standing still, gaze remaining on the path that Till had left on, he smiled toothily before slowly turning back, retreating into the home that still contained some of the other's warmth.

Chapter Text

The sun was setting, engulfing the world in a golden glow. Everything appeared vibrant and beautiful; it felt like Till was immersing himself into a Monet painting, each stroke of the scenery applied skillfully and carefully.

Sparkles, his jet-black horse, shone a brilliant golden-black hue in this light, like a royal steed adorned with regal accessories. The creek next to them streamed silently, the slow waves of the water echoing a comforting rhythm through the noises of nature. The lilacs and irises growing on the side of the road bloomed gorgeously, remaining droplets silently dripping onto the ground, tilting their heads towards the sun to stimulate their growth.

Till felt... free. He found the person he had been looking for and even gained someone in the process. Sure, nothing was perfect, it had never been, especially not with his domestic situation, but to Till, this was more than he had ever had. That he had ever dreamt of.

Feeling blissful, Till rode home at a fast pace, hoping to make it in time for no one to grow suspicious. Some parts of the journey proved to be somewhat difficult, it being caused by the slippery, muddy roads that were left behind by the heavy rainfall earlier that day.

In the distance, Till saw a familiar building start to appear, reminding to put on his hood again. He was too close to success for everything to start caving in. He slowed his pace, tried to make his frame a bit smaller, and stealthily rode behind the trees and bushes surrounding the property.

Before turning the corner where the back passage was waiting for him, he held back a few beats, scoping out his surroundings to make sure it was safe to advance. After his confirmation, which was not hearing any sound at all, he nudged Sparkles to continue their mission and forge ahead.

Just before entering the passage, Till made sure to get off Sparkles to guide her through the last part by her reins, to make as little noise as possible. With his back flat against the brick wall, he turned his head to take a quick peek at the status of the other side but found... surprisingly nothing. Absolute peace. Was he just being paranoid?

Till exhaled deeply before he slid against the wall, his back still against the bricks, causing a scraping sound to echo through the quiet backside of the garden. Because Till was moving, Sparkles subsequently followed along, her hooves resonating a defying 'thud' through the outdoor space with every step she took. The fact that she had four of them didn't help much.

Till felt the tips of his ears heat up in embarrassment. He had officially made the list. BuzzFeed's top 10 boyflops. Or if he were to integrate such a segment into his current world, he would probably be in some weird-ass rubric in the black-and-white newspaper. 'Magnificent list of young, dispiriting lads.' In any case, he failed miserably at trying to act mysterious and nonchalant, like usual. If Ivan were in his position, he probably could've leisurely strolled onto the property without a care in the world and avoided getting caught on top of that. It was as if the more time he spent with Till, the more he sucked in all of the nonchalance Till had left in him. Damn it.

Consumed in his thoughts, Till didn't realise that the stables had already come into sight. He was getting closer and closer to the place where Eduardo was hopefully waiting for him. That thought alone warmed something in his heart. It should be smooth sailing from there, right?

Wrong.

From the corner of his eye, he perceived something... moving. Not just something, but a human figure. He was sure of it. Along with the noise of the movement, a clunking sound could also be heard, resembling something like jewellery clashing on top of each other.

Digging through his memories, Till recalled Urak carrying an unnecessary load of golden jewellery around his neck and his fingers, maybe that was the reason why his posture looked like his halse could snap off at any minute. Seriously, it was insane. Not even impressive, just tacky as hell.

But, why was Urak here? Wasn't he always holed up in his office or away on business? Did he read through Till, already expecting him to act in such a defiant manner, waiting to catch him red-handed? Did Till directly walk into his trap? Till's mind was racing in circles, countless possibilities running through his head.

Never mind any of that; such thoughts could occupy his mind at a later time. The only thing that mattered right now was to get away as quickly as he could possibly manage. He didn't have time to make sure if it was indeed Urak or not. He had to hide, he had to get away from the scene in any way that seemed feasible.

Till hastily spun around, taking in the environment. The only thing separating him and the unknown person right now was a neatly pruned hedge, designed to have a passageway in the middle to cross over to the other side of the garden, which accessed the stables.

Except for the hedge dividing him from the other entity, there unfortunately was... nothing surrounding him. He wished he was joking, but there was only a plain of grass under his feet, stretching far and wide, and the stables were definitely a metre of seventy away from him, so there was not enough time for him to make a bolt for it and take shelter there. He would get caught in the process if the other person decided to come his way.

In a panicked frenzy, Till unconsciously ran in an arbitrary direction, forcing his ongoing thoughts to come to a halt. If he kept contemplating and refrained from making a decision about what to do, he would definitely get caught.

Just then, Till caught a glimpse of green, shiny metal reflected by the sun that had almost fully settled by now. Not giving himself a second to think, he ran towards the light that blinded the corner of his eye, figuring it may be his only hope left, as hiding behind blades of grass didn't seem like the most plausible option.

Ducking to the ground, using his arms to protect his body from the fall, he dove behind the object, wishing it was large enough to hide his body behind. He grunted. Once he exhaled deeply, he took his eyes off of the grass below and looked to the side, finally revealing to himself what the object turned out to be.

A... wheelbarrow?

The cart had been flipped upside down, disclosing an open space inside. Till took a quick look over the wheelbarrow, ensuring that no one would be able to see him (yet), and lifted the convenient object up a bit so he could slide under, now being trapped in a cramped place. It took him a few seconds to adjust to it, his limbs folded together in an awkward position, trying to make the wheelbarrow look as natural as possible from the outside.

Till could hear his heart beat in his ears, hands on his mouth to reduce the noise of his breathing in the echoing space.

After waiting for a few seconds, everything went quiet. The only sound he was able to hear was his own and the soft rustle of the grass being swayed by the wind.

That was until the clunking returned.

He heard it once, then twice, and then repetitively. The clamour resonated louder and louder, indicating that whatever it was, it started to come closer. 

Till held his breath, squeezed his eyes shut, and tried to stay motionless for as much as he could manage. Wow, the grass beneath him looked really green today! It felt very grassy to the touch, hahaha!

At a certain point, after Till was busy trying to distract himself, the sound just... dissipated. It was gone before Till could fully comprehend where it could have went. Would he be safe if he left now? He couldn't just stay here forever, but if he left too early, his 'efforts' would've been for nothing. Then he—

Before Till could think any further, faint light started to gather at the ground, moving up ever so slightly, revealing the world surrounding him. But Till wasn't doing any of that himself. Someone was lifting the wheelbarrow up, clunking whatever metal the person was wearing against the metal of the barrow, creating an ear-deafening environment for the man hiding inside.

'Ah fuck, it's over.' Till thought, throwing his head down in defeat. It was probably Urak, waiting to catch him red-handed like he had anticipated. Had Till been too obvious? Had he been too loud? Had it been his fault again—

A low voice spoke up, clearing their throat. "Sir Till? What are you doing under there?"

Till looked up, recognising the voice that was speaking to him. His eyes were met with slight wrinkles, muddied boots and navy overalls. ...With the name 'Eduardo' stitched onto them. Aha.

One of Eduardo's eyebrows perked up, not in surprise, but out of sheer wonder. "I thought I saw something moving, but I never would've guessed it was you..." His voice trailed off, and his gaze shifting into another direction. "Is that Sparkles over there? Why is she standing there all alone?"

Fuuuuckkk..... Till hid his face in his hands, feeling the heat creep up his features, still in the same squished position as before. So he did all that spy-ass shit just for it to be Eduardo. Of course. And he didn't even bother to hide Sparkles along with him. The poor horse had been through a lot today. He should treat her extra well from now on.

Eduardo pushed the wheelbarrow away so that Till was now completely free and exposed to the outside air. As he was about to stand up and tell Eduardo about what had happened, or rather, what he thought had happened just now, he heard the clunking sound again. Now able to locate the origin of the sound, it turned out to also stem from Eduardo. In his hands, he was holding a couple of reins, each possessing a bit. The bits were clanging against each other. Well, that makes a lot more sense now.

Embarrassing himself after embarrassing himself after embarrassing himself. Till would really have to be careful from now on, saving what's left of his reputation. If it ever existed in the first place. Things like these had been happening too often lately. It almost felt like he was the heroine in the story, like he's got that heroine-like attraction, waiting for the male lead to swoop in and save his beloved. Till scoffs at the thought. Yeah, right. He feels more like a mob character, always in the way or somewhere in the background. His actions seemed to agree with him, no? He wasn't elegant, pretty, or kind like a heroine. He was just... Till.

Till sighed deeply and explained everything to Eduardo, after which the latter broke out into an exuberant laugh, slinging his free arm over Till's shoulder. While Till was talking, he grabbed Sparkles' reins to lead her to the nearby stables, dumping the reins he was carrying into Till's arms.

They talked for a while, and Till sat down on the haystacks, while Eduardo dismantled Sparkles and put her back in her stable. It was nice having a talk like this. How his day had been, how he felt, and asking the other the same questions. It felt so normal. A normal Till had never known.

Midst their conversation, Till recalled something he and Ivan had talked about a few hours prior. About wanting to meet again, to keep seeing each other. It would probably prove to be difficult, but for it to work, efforts had to be made.

"So, Eduardo..." Till spoke up. Eduardo noticed that Till had started talking in a more serious tone, causing him to shift his full attention onto him. "There's actually someone I want to keep seeing, but I need your help with it. Not only yours, but others' as well. Ones to trust." Till continued, his fingers tapping an unsteady rhythm against his thigh.

Eduardo smiled smugly. "Of course I'll help, I would so even if it cost me my job. So? Who's the lucky girl?" He asked, inching a few steps closer towards Till. In response, Till scooted a bit backwards on his hayblock.

Till put his hands up in a defensive manner, a puzzled look forming on his face. "Girl? What girl are you— No, wait! It's nothing like that! It's a man, the crown prince!" Till tried to clarify, but it seemed that his declaration had landed on deaf ears.

"Ah, of course, the lucky man, yes. The crown prince. Mhm. Ohhhh... So that's what you need help with." Eduardo's smile changed into a calculating glare, staring off into space. The sky outside had shifted into a dark hue, the light from the bulb above them illuminating the wooden interior, highlighting the soft wrinkles on Eduardo's face. "Sure, I know of people who can help. But you need to be careful too. Considering what I saw just now." Eduardo snorted.

"You-" Till sputtered, face turning red, eyebrows turning downwards. "Don't tell a soul about that. I had my reasons, okay!? And stop making those assumptions, I can read your thoughts from the look on your face. We're friends."

Eduardo let out a soundless laugh, grabbing the back of his neck while nodding softly. "Yes, yes, what would an old man like me know? I just find it rather perplexing that you, sir Till, have suddenly met a 'friend' that you want to keep seeing. frequently. I'm not judging or anything, quite the opposite, but never in my years have I encountered something like this with you." He chuckled. "We'll see how you guys end up, hm?" Eduardo concluded with a toothy grin. Till wanted to interject Eduardo's words, but Eduardo was quick to shut him up. "Now, it's getting late. How about you go back to your quarters? Everyone must be terribly worried."

Till scoffed as he jumped up from the hayblock. "Worried, my ass. I bet they haven't even noticed at all that I was gone. I just need to find a way to sneak in quietly..." His voice trailed off as he put his hood on again and made his way to the door.

"Oh, about that," Eduardo mentioned, walking towards Till after quickly putting Sparkles back into her stable for her to rest. "I've actually already made some arrangements while you were gone. All of the curtains should be drawn, and I'll personally walk you to the terrace to assist you with a ladder." He gave Till a pat on his shoulder, and Till's heart grew full. They already did this for him?

Till was more than thankful for what the servants had done for him. Why were they so nice to him? Had he done anything in particular to deserve it? Did Will?  They must still have the child-version of him displayed in their heads. An innocent, small child, beaming with brightness, grabbing any chance at a new opportunity. But that had been so long ago... Not only for Will, but for Till too. Would he be able to repay their kindness? To live up to their expectations?

All Till could muster to get out of his mouth was a quiet "Thank you", but Eduardo knew of the true sincerity behind the silent phrasing. He told Till to wait for a second and then came back with a ladder Till didn't know could come in such sizes. He would definitely be able to reach his window with a ladder like that.

Their way to the main estate was silent. Not many words needed to be spoken; plus, it was more convenient to keep quiet, because you never knew what could be lurking in the shadows. That may sound a bit too serious, but hey, his life may be at stake here.

Once they got closer to the building, Till noticed that all of the curtains had indeed been drawn. Almost no light shone through the windows, no eyes would be able to perceive them enacting this confidential act.

Eduardo set up the ladder and aligned it to Till's window, keeping hold of the bottom to make sure it didn't sway too much while Till was climbing it. Once at the top, Till silently opened his window, which he had been sure to not close completely earlier that day (not that he could since he jumped out of it), and sneaked in. He stuck his head outside and gave Eduardo a quick nod. The stablehand then took the ladder back with him and disappeared into the night.

Till closed his window and turned around, exhaling deeply. He slumped to the ground, sitting there for a while, letting everything that had happened sink in.

He found him.

He fucking found him.

The next two days weren't as noteworthy as the previous ones. Being in confinement still, there wasn't really much to do, not even eat. Luckily for him, he could entertain himself without a lot of trouble due to the books he took with him from Ivan's. Though the writing styles were quite old-fashioned, they did serve the purpose of keeping Till amused.

He read and read, almost forgetting to sleep since he was so enamoured with the storylines, finishing nearly every book he took with him within the span of two days. Time seemed to move faster than he thought.

After two days, as Till was, you might guess it — reading a book, his door suddenly opened without warning. Till looked into its direction, wondering who or what would come into his chambers after all this time, but he was disappointingly met with nothing.

After a minute of waiting and staring, Till began to find it odd and got up to see what was waiting outside his door. Arriving after a short distance of travel, he once again found... nothing.  No guards, no servants... no one. ...Was he free from confinement?

He took a few steps outside of the room, glancing left and right, but still, it was strangely quiet. Well, it was quiet. Until Till's stomach began making ungodly sounds. It had been three days since he had last eaten. It could've been two if he didn't drop that tart he was trying to eat back at Mizi's estate.

When he went downstairs to the dining hall, he found a neatly set table with a variety of freshly baked breakfast foods, yet Urak was nowhere to be seen... Was this all for him?

Till gleamed, forgetting his dislike for eating breakfast, and sat down to load his plate.

A few days later, the whole estate was still as silent as it had been before. After a while of continued silence, he had guessed it was because no one wanted to unnecessarily anger Urak.

Today, after Till had eaten his breakfast (he was on a breakfast-eating streak), he went back to his room to get dressed. He sat on his vanity chair for a while after styling his hair, which became his daily routine, because apparently (luckily) it was not every day that maids came storming in, circling around him to alter his appearance. He could now tend to his hair the way he himself preferred. Not too messy, but definitely not too neat. He hated that.

He started to think. What would he even do in his spare time? Sure, he could read books, but that wouldn't be able to fill up all of his time. He went through all of the books lent to him by Ivan already. Previously, he would be busy with attending classes or working on assignments. Hanging out with Ivan proved to be easier too back then. Maybe he had more time to focus on his other hobbies for now? 

He had always loved drawing. He did so from a young age, making drawings for his mom, enjoying the look on her face after receiving one. Even after her disappearance, he didn't stop doing what he loved. In fact, he got even more into it. Whenever he was bored, he went outside to sketch. He preferred to be alone, but once Ivan got wind of him going somewhere to draw, there was no way to keep the other boy away.

His forte lay in floral art, but every once in a while, he couldn't help but sneak a few sketches of his friend. Don't get him wrong. It's good to get drawing practice on multiple fields! You have to be versatile. And if it just so happens that the only person you draw is your best friend, there's nothing wrong with that, right? Right. It just shows the amount of people he got along with. Saying it like that kind of makes it sadder… Moving on!

Till got up from his chair and went to search through all his closets and cabinets to try and find some art supplies, or anything at all, to be able to create something, anything with. Alas, to no avail. There wasn't even anything resembling drawing materials, except for some letter paper and a quill with ink lying abandoned on his desk.

Wait a second... A quill with ink? Letter paper?

He could go out into the city, shoo his guards off with some ambiguous excuse, meet up with Ivan while he is there so no one notices them being together, and get art supplies! It would be hard for Ivan to not stand out as the crown prince, but if they wouldn't go into densely populated areas, it should be fine, right?

No sooner said than done, Till thought about the plan once more inside his head and quickly sat down with the quill in hand, writing letters, forming sentences on the paper placed in front of him. He made quick work of it, not wanting to dismiss his sudden creative impulse. For the meeting place, he didn't have to think very long.

Another thing he remembered from his carriage ride a few days ago was a small entrance to the city, and it looked like it was a place not many nobles or important figures would visit. From sight alone, one would be able to perceive the entrance as tiny, crumbling and shabby. Till's artistic eyes caught the real beauty of the passageway, though. It looked old but unique, the stones used being different from the others', creating a beautiful contrast in depth and colour. Flowers in a pastel pink climbing up the walls through an ivy, giving the entrance a welcoming, picturesque colourscheme.

Though it flashed by rather quickly, Till could've sworn he saw some shops through the opening, which he hoped and presumed didn't really fall under the radar of the nobles. It would be perfect for leisurely, but secretive afternoon! (He hoped. He never knew what this world could have in store.)

Once he finished his last curl, line and dot, and his fingertips were completely stained black (because who the fuck knew how to use a quill!?), he quietly sneaked out of his room, paper stuffed in the richly decorated white blouse he decided to wear that day. It didn't have any pockets, but he had to try and make it work.

The halls were just as empty as they had been the previous days. Weren't the people here supposed to do their job? Till went to a variety of rooms he thought he had free access to (because, thinking about it, why wouldn't he?), but stumbled upon not even one soul. Just as he was about to give up on his pointless journey, he turned around, almost body slamming an innocent, unassuming maid.

He looked into her unamused eyes, raising an eyebrow unconsciously. He blinked a few times, trying to remember where he recognised her from. Before he was able to recall, he realised he had been staring for quite too long, and the maid spoke up in a polite voice in contrast to her monotonous expression. "Is something the matter, young master?"

That voice! Now he remembered! It was one of the maids that had helped him get ready on the day of the banquet and the one that drew the curtains on the day of his escape. Perfect. He knew for a factnow  that he could trust her. She must have spoken with Eduardo already since he told him he knew of people who could help. She must get the message he is trying to get across right now. It wasn't like he had any other options; this might as well be his best one.

Till swiftly turned his head left and right, making sure no one was around to witness this secret exchange. As he grabbed the paper from within his blouse, he took another chance to glance around them, earning him a soft sigh from the maid, which he was sure he wasn't supposed to hear.

He handed her the letter over, the name of the recipient neatly written on top of the envelope, and slowly turned around, extending his leg as an initiator to walk away. Before he actually did, he gave the maid one more look over his shoulder, trying to maintain as serious an expression as he could manage.

The maid only needed a prompt downward cast of her eyes to see what was given to her, and slowly nodded once before hiding the paper under her apron and walking away, moving along like nothing ever happened. And so, without looking back twice, Till did the same.

There Till was, in the middle of the bustling city streets, three days after he had written the letter. Behind him were two guards, coincidentally the same two guards that kept watch over his room while he was confined. Not very fine lads, so to say.

After he had gotten out of his carriage, he went to find the busiest place in the whole city, it being the centre with the most famous shops all lined up next to each other. It would be easier to lose the guards from here, to delude them by telling them he was going to visit shops not that far away, longing to be alone. This, of course, wouldn't be allowed since he wouldn't be in their line of sight, but he would just run away before they could have a second thought.

Once in front of a famous cake shop, he already started to lose the two guards without even trying. There were so many people bumping into him left and right, it would be impossible to stay together even if that were the plan. Taking this chance, Till put his hand to his mouth and yelled loudly to the guards, "I'll be going into some shops over there!", while he pointed towards an arbitrary direction. "I'll see you guys later!"

Before he could watch the expressions on the guards' faces shift from a confused stare into an angry shock, he ran away in a walking-running pace, trying to stay inconspicuous. Because of the busy traffic, even at that pace, the guards couldn't keep up with him. He did take a mental note of the cake shop though, remembering that Mizi seemed to like sweets such as those.

He began navigating through the streets, making sure to avoid narrow alleys for safety. Not that he cared much, but he was a noble; you would be able to notice that through his outfit alone. This ordeal did lose him some precious minutes, but it would be better than being human trafficked, if he were to say so himself.

A small problem that arose was that Till only knew how the city looked from descriptions from the novel and a few quick looks while passing through or by over the last few days, those moments only being when he went to the banquet and secretly went to visit Mizi.

Luckily for Till, he always had quite a good sense of direction, so he decided to ball it and hope for the best. Which worked! After turning a corner at which he thought that if he wouldn't find the meeting place after turning it, he would go straight back home, he saw a familiar colour of green and pink, the colour of the ivy and the flowers climbing up the walls.

Right next to that, another familiarity seemed to be waiting for him.

He ran the last part towards the gate which Ivan was leaning on. Though he was alone, likely by shaking off his guards too (which had probably been easier for him, because, again, who dares to defy the crown prince?), you wouldn't be able to shake that princely charm off of him. Honestly, he stuck out like a sore thumb.

Hearing the other's footsteps, Ivan's head perked up, his bored expression turning into something bright, smile showing his teeth, pupils turning into a blazing red. He matched Till's pace, running over to him and meeting him halfway. It looked funny, really, a handsome man in neat attire running to him in that manner. His future girlfriend must be really lucky.

Taking a closer look, Ivan wasn't dressed as 'extravagantly' as last time. Sure, it probably hadn't been as fancy as his banquet attire (which Till didn't get to see), but for him, the outfit he was wearing at their first meeting had been lavish enough. Till assumed his current clothes were... casual? He would stand out less with this outfit, sure, but still... No one would believe he was any less on the social ladder than a marquis, but Till supposed it was fine this way. With Ivan's face alone, even in a rag, he would look like he belonged to high society.

Despite Till already noticing the shift in Ivan's body language, it was regrettable to say that he didn't react in time, because before he could dodge, Ivan grabbed him between his arms, pulling him in a tight hug, almost lifting him from the ground.

"Till! There you are!" Ivan exclaimed excitedly, his unsurprisingly muscular arms almost knocking all the air out of Till. He really was the package deal... Handsome face, great body... Though his weird personality could use some work. Till, on the other hand, looked like he was run over by a truck daily, and in contrast to Ivan, he didn't particularly have a lot of muscles or much meat on his bones, for that matter. Stupid Ivan and his godly genes...

"Iv an! Quit it- moth er fucker! I c an't br eathe!" Till attempted to yell out, yet all that came out of his mouth were pieces of words mixed with ragged breath. He tried to punch Ivan hard on his shoulder three times, signalling that he really couldn't fucking breathe, and at last, the other man finally let go, a stupid smirk forming on his face.

Till sighed deeply, hand on his torso to try and regulate his breathing again. "Fuck— hello to you too. Isn't there any normal way to greet me anymore?" He recalled a few days ago when Ivan had locked him in his grip too. Thinking back on it, Till, for the life of him, wouldn't be able to remember a time where Ivan did greet him normally, it was always a hug, a bump, a punch to his shoulder, an arm around him... You name it.

Ivan laughed softly, bending over a bit so his height adjusted, his face now on the same level as Till's. "I was so glad you reached out to me, I was afraid you wouldn't. I contemplated coming over or sending something to you... but I figured that that wouldn't be the best course of action." Ivan sighed sadly. "So I just waited and waited, staring out of my window so desperately every day for a messenger to come along..." He sniffled as he dramatically wiped away an imaginary tear.

Till scoffed, hitting Ivan's shoulder softly this time, but enough for the other to readjust to his normal, previous posture. "Don't you dare send me anything, because then you'll really never hear from me anymore. Like, never." Ivan nodded along. Till pointed his finger at Ivan's chest. "You need to understand the seriousness of the situation. Get it inside of your thick skull." Till had much more to say, but he kept it at that. Today was supposed to be a leisure day, not one full of scolding.

Ivan's dark hair fell before his eyes, his voice suddenly dropping remarkably low. "Oh, trust me, I do understand." he said, eyes cast downwards towards the side. Before Till had any chance to react to this strange behaviour, Ivan cleared his throat and styled his hair back simultaneously, tone back to normal. "Shall we go?" He asked in a sweet manner. He locked arms with Till, prompting them to move, before Till tried to stop them from moving with all his strength. This resulted in him almost getting dragged along with Ivan, but luckily the other noticed Till's resistance in time and stopped too.

Ivan, arm still interlocked with Till's, looked at the other in confusion. Till, noting he wasn't going to be able to escape, slightly tugged their arms. "Wait for a second, we still have to wait for one more—" His words were cut short by an excited squeal.

"Till!! Your highness!! Is that you??" A woman with pink hair excitedly exclaimed, all the while running to them, or at least, an attempt to, because she was wearing heels. Till smiled, thinking that this entrance was completely like Mizi.

He, in fact, didn't just write one letter, but two. One for Ivan, one for Mizi. He thought it would be perfect for the three of them to catch up as reincarnators and get Ivan to befriend Mizi as well. They had an awful lot in common, he thought, and he was sure they would hit it off. She became friends with Till too, so becoming friends with Ivan? That should be a cat in the bag. Though he mostly hung out with just Till, he could actually be very social. He was just not interested enough in the others, or so he had once said.

Due to Ivan's weakening strength as a result of his apparent shock, Till managed to free himself from Ivan's sturdy grip, walking over to Mizi so she would have to run less in those uncomfortable shoes. Noble ladies must have it hard. He extended a hand, initiating a wave towards Mizi, only to be taken by surprise as she suddenly swung her arms around him, pulling him close into an embrace. "Till! I missed you! I'm so glad it worked out last time!" She said, smile being heard through her words alone.

She pulled away, making sure to get a second of eye contact between them. She squeezed her eyes a little, barely noticeable, likely meant as some sort of wink. He sighed internally. Not her too!?

He heard footsteps coming in from behind him, Ivan finally joining him in the greeting. Till glanced to the side and took in Ivan's facial expressions. To others, who knew Ivan less well than him, his face seemed perfectly polite right now, almost perfect, the sun gracing his features. Till could see a different intent behind it though, eyebrow slightly twitching, the corner of his mouth faintly drooping. Was that... a vein in his neck?

Ivan extended his arm, almost at the same time as Mizi did. They exchanged a handshake, firmly shaking their hands up and down. They both had quite some pep to their step, though Mizi's was out of excitement, and Ivan's was out of sheer strength. Mizi was the first one to speak, talking at record speed. She appeared way too thrilled...

She opened her mouth, dazzling yellow eyes sparkling, the corners of her mouth turned greatly upwards. "Hello! I'm Mizi, I've heard so much about you! Well, not that much, but enough. I've been having a blast with Till together, and to think there was another reincarnator! We already met at your birthday banquet, but I would've never guessed we would ever meet like this!" She rambled out.

Before she could continue with yet another string of never-ending sentences, Ivan smoothly cut in, silencing her with his own set of words. "Hello Mizi. I'm Ivan, please call me by that name. No need to act so formal with the 'your highness' thing. And yes, I've heard quite a few things about you too. Take care of my cousin, okay? I'll take care of my Till." He said with a charming smile, animated sparkles almost pixelating around him. And what? His Till? Disgusting. Jail.

Mizi's expression changed, elevated beam turning into a sly smirk, looking up at Ivan through her perfectly curled lashes. "Ah, I see... Of course, of course. I'll take very good care of her, alright. You do the same too, hm?" Still having their hands clasped together, they both gripped each other a little tighter.

The vein in Ivan's neck reduced in size, his expression looking less strained. "I'm glad we're on the same page." He said to Mizi, his manner mirroring hers. Just what the hell was going on between those two? Was there some quiet connection going on which he wasn't a part of? This was all very unnerving. Till had to do something about it.

He put his hands on top of theirs like some 'power of friendship' handshake, urging them to look at him instead of whatever the hell this was. He flushed a little, becoming slightly aware of the position he put himself in. "Okay, introductions are over, let's find somewhere to sit and catch up. Yeah?" He asked, eyes fixated on their hands in front of him. If he looked up, he knew what kind of looks he would be getting from the other two. He for sure didn't want to acknowledge that.

And so, without looking up or over his shoulder, Till turned around, facing a cramped avenue filled with small shops, his back turned against Mizi and Ivan. He didn't know what kind of looks they were exchanging between the two of them, but the less he knew, the better. A chill ran down his spine.

Did he just inflict a great doom onto the world?

Chapter Text

The small cafe the trio had found appeared old-fashioned from the outside but was well maintained and cutesy interiorised from the inside. Behind the counter stood an elderly woman, the only personnel in the whole shop for that matter. She didn't question them about their appearance and only took their order once they were seated.

Their orders read as follows: 
Mizi ordered a chamomile tea with a variety cake set, a small display with bite-sized versions of various cakes so one would be able to enjoy more flavours with a less full stomach.
Till chose coffee mixed with a little milk, accompanied by a plain fruit tart. It contained some sweetness, but not too much, just as he preferred.
And lastly, Ivan's order was a mixture of the other two. He ordered a black coffee along with the biggest, pinkest, sweetest-looking slice of cake on the display.

Till didn't know how Ivan did it all with a straight face. Drinking that black, bitter coffee right after stuffing his face with a sugary sweet that could almost send him straight to heaven (for real this time), all with a poker face.

They all talked to each other for a moment, addressing formalities such as age, hobbies, majors, and things like that. The conversation went mostly between Ivan and Mizi, as the two didn't know each other yet, but they did both know Till already. Maybe Mizi did not as well as Ivan, but well enough to know about such topics by now.

Ivan and Mizi conversed about what they studied, and though their majors were completely different, one being fashion and the other business, their talk never seemed to meet any dead ends. They continuously found other topics to talk about, such as movies, fashion, and hell, even their favourite TV shows as children came up.

Till was surprised they hit it off so well. He expected them to have some common ground together, but based on what he was seeing and hearing right now, it felt as though he was watching old friends reunite after a long time.

He wasn't sure how to feel about it. Of course, he was happy they were able to become friends so fast! Yet... he felt a bit left behind. There were some moments where he could interject, join the conversation by sharing his own thoughts, but the next second, the only lines exchanged went between Mizi and Ivan, leaving him a mess in his own thoughts.

Till knew the problem probably lay within himself, yet he was too afraid to admit it. If he wanted to, he could easily speak up, making himself more known, forcefully entering their conversation. But what if they didn't want him to be in it? Didn't want him to intervene? 

Thoughts kept gnawing at him, not sure whether to call them right or wrong, never trusting his own judgement. At times like these, he felt like a prisoner in his own mind. He knew something was wrong, but didn't have the right key to unlock the right answer. The right thing to do, say or think. If only it were that easy. Maybe Till wouldn't have turned out this way. So undecisive and lacking confidence behind the stern front he puts up on the outside. He looks and acts unapproachable so no one would be able to doubt even a thing, so they would stay away from him, so they would not find out about his true self beneath all those layers.

He doesn't like to think of himself as insecure, because even if the things mentioned before are true, he still fights for what he thinks is right and does what he wants and likes, regardless of others thoughts. Things like that are too much of a bother to think about. He still wants to be the one in control. Yet when it comes to introspection, there is too much to think, to feel, to experience. Some things feel right, some things feel wrong, and those things clashing together cause his thoughts to jumble up. His verdict becomes crooked, mind an endless plain.

The chattery noises of Mizi and Ivan fell into the background, his gaze landing on the window, staring outside as his thoughts ran rampant inside his head. He knew Ivan wouldn't hate or dislike him, yet he sometimes felt like a burden to him, an obstacle in his life. Maybe if he wasn't there, wasn't in his life, Ivan's future would've been brighter. He would've had different friends, would probably be very popular, and would've lived a better life overall... And now he's here. Because of him.

"..ill"

Till sighed, gaze not leaving the outside world. People passed by. A mother with her child, walking happily hand in hand with a basket full of groceries around her free arm. An elderly man walking tiresomely while reading the newspaper with a frown. A young woman skipping down the street, a bright smile radiating from her face, her eyes never leaving the ring on her finger. How did they live their life?

"Till!" Ivan raised his voice, making sure Till heard him this time while not disturbing the owner of her peace. Till, in response, shook his body, startled by the sudden voice calling his name. He turned his head around, away from the window, eyes wide.

"Sorry?" Till said in a way that was both apologetic and asking for clarification. A beat of silence followed, the three of noble blood exchanging looks between each other. Till, the only one with his eyes wide, started wondering if he did something wrong or, in any case, something worthy of a moment of quiet like this. As he was about to open his mouth to ask what the matter was, deep and sweet laughter started mixing together, causing Till's worries to decrease. They weren't laughing at him in a mocking way; he fortunately could deduce that much.

Till furrowed his eyebrows, a crease forming between them. "What? What are you laughing about?" He groaned, putting up an annoyed front in hopes of hiding his conflicted feelings behind it. Ivan was perceptive, though he never outright said anything. He always tried to cheer Till up or change the subject without mentioning anything. Till, of course, noticed.

Ivan and Mizi synced as they both sighed to end their shared laugh. Ivan shifted his posture, leaning onto the table, closer to Till. All three of them had finished their refreshments by now, it was only Till who still had some coffee left in his cup. He had forgotten to drink the rest of it while in his own world. In response to Ivan moving closer, Till shifted a bit backwards onto his seat.

A small giggle escaped Mizi. "Ivan was just telling me a little about the two of you, saying you are known for zoning out quite a lot. He was going to ask for your confirmation, but I saw it happen in the flesh just now." Her gaze was pleasant, not an ounce of judgement showing, being truly amused. Ivan let air out through his nose, a soundless laugh.

Till scoffed in disapproval, but secretly, he was entertained. "Oh yeah?" His eyes locked onto Ivan. "Would you like to know some fun stories about our starboy here too?" Till asked with a menacing smile, cracking his knuckles. Oh boy, did he have some good stories to tell that would totally shatter his 'charming prince' image.

Ivan blinked twice before reacting. He looked back at Till, whose eyes were still on him, and interlocked their gazes. "Oh, you think you've got some good stories about me? Just wait until I get to yours. Mine are not half as bad. I know everything about you." Ivan smirked, characteristic tooth sticking out once again. The worst part was that Till knew he was right.

Mizi noticed the hostility between them, not quite yet grasping the dynamic on which the friendship of the two men was built. She pointed her finger upwards, wanting to mention something, yet her signal didn't come through their bickering.

Till began, breaking their staring contest. "You cried in our second year of high school because you scored a ninety-nine and not a hundred on a math test."

"You got a four on that test, Till."

"Guh... Well, do you remember that time a girl tried to give you a love letter, and you told her you would 'forward it to your parents' because you thought the teacher had given it to her, after which she ran away crying?"

"You have never even received a love letter, Till. Not even one chocolate on Valentine's Day either."

"Hey! You gave me some every year!" He coughed. "Then, what about that summer we learnt how to ride bikes and your laces got stuck in your pedals, resulting in you somersaulting onto the concrete?"

"Weren't you the one that yelled, and I quote, 'How do these fucking brakes work??'  before crash landing down a riverbank, busting your bike, which you found at the dump, if I may add, spraining your ankle and suffering a concussion?"

Till put his face in his hands, drooped his shoulders downwards and slumped down onto the table. Ivan, on the other hand, seemed to be thriving, a triumphant grin on his face, looking down on the collapsed Till. In response, Till groaned. There wasn't much dirt to dig when it came to Ivan. Till had been by his side for so long, yet all the embarrassing things seemed to mostly happen to him only. It appeared it was still too early to discard the 'Ivan sucks all of Till's nonchalantness out of his body' theory.

Ivan softly patted Till's silver hair, waving soft strokes between the locks. Till heard a faint "There, there." in the background but was still too immersed in his loss. The soothing sensations in his hair felt nice, though... or not.

He quickly slapped Ivan's hand away, realising they were in public. They were the only ones in the cafe, but still, Mizi was there too, watching them from across the table. He gave Ivan an irritated glare while the other was rubbing his reddening hand that was just slapped away. He showed an exaggerated pout, but Till didn't give in. He was used to the tactics Ivan utilised.

He looked at Mizi, his cheeks a bit flushed. However, instead of being met with a condemning side-eye, he stood eye-to-eye with an even redder face, cheeks puffed, eyes teary, ready to explode. And so she did. Uncharacteristic but loud laughter filled the room, accompanied by the shuffling of a chair. Mizi crouched onto the ground, grabbing her sides. Her long dress gathered around her on the floor in a perfect circle.

Ivan and Till spared each other a dumbfounded glance without using any words before also initiating a soft laugh at the same time. Honestly, what a shitshow they were. It was absurd. Everything was absurd, yet they could still find moments of enjoyment like this in each other, in their own sacred bubble, something only they would understand.

Till walked over, offering a hand to Mizi to stand up, whose laughter was slowly dissolving into the comforting air they created within the cafe. Wiping away a tear in the corner of her eye, Mizi brushed her dress clean and stood upright on her two legs again. Ivan had also lifted himself up from his chair in the meantime after neatly stacking their dishes so the elderly woman would have an easier time cleaning it up.

Mizi sighed one time in satisfaction. "I could watch you two all day. Next time we meet up, we should invite Sua too! I'm sure she would love... you... two..." She threw a questioning glance to the side. "Anyway! I've had my fill, so let's get you your art supplies. Till!" She excitedly exclaimed, jumping from one topic to another.

Till felt an unconscious chill creeping up his spine with the mention of Sua. He hoped Mizi would properly explain everything going on to her, minus the reincarnation part, so Sua wouldn't get the wrong idea about them and maybe treat him as an equal. Or at least, not an enemy. That would be good enough.

Till didn't know what he had been so afraid of. Of course Mizi wouldn't condemn them, or him. For one, the two of them had quite a lot in common, so it was natural that they had become friends prior to today. They had been friends since before she met Ivan. Mizi wasn't the type to turn her back on people like that. Besides, even he could admit that Ivan and he had a strange dynamic going on. So Mizi, a novel enthusiast like him, would only become more interested in them because of that, get closer to them, encourage them... Pause. He didn't like the direction his thoughts were going in.

Having already paid, the three subtly bowed towards the owner and walked out of the establishment. Till made a mental note of the name and the route to it. It was a perfect place for a secret rendezvous. He stretched his arms for a bit, his body becoming quite stiff after sitting for a while.

"Well then, where should we go?" Mizi asked, turning her head to look at several possible directions.

To be fair, he had no clue. When he had passed by a few days ago, he had just seen a glimpse of what he thought were shops, but he didn't specifically see what kind of shops. So really, he was just taking a gamble here. Well, even if they didn't find the shop they were looking for, in his opinion, the day had already been a success.

Till looked at the nearly empty streets. "Let's go in that direction. It seems the liveliest." He pointed towards the street where he saw the most people.

Ivan put his hand on Till's shoulder, nudging him to start walking. After taking a few steps towards their shared direction, Till noticed something was missing. Ivan's and Till's boots made a soft, thumping sound when putting their feet onto the ground, yet the clicking of Mizi's heels on the pavement seemed to have disappeared. He turned around, causing Ivan to turn around also, instinctively.

Mizi stood there, still in the same spot she was in before. Her eyelids hooded half, enough to still see through them, creases around the lids showing. On her lips played a gentle smile, her loose hair swaying in the wind. She looked... blissful? Why?

Mizi then seemed to recollect herself from that state, shaking her head irregularly, her expression turning normal again, slight nervousness playing on her features. "I totally forgot!" She put her knuckle to the side of her forehead. "I really have to go. I still have something to do back at home... yes. So I best be going now!" She stumbled over her words, already waving her hand towards them frantically.

Till was confused, to say the least, questioning her reasoning. "So suddenly? Are you sure?" Mizi nodded vigorously in response, smile not leaving her face. Till kept finding it strange, though. "Okay, sure... Do you want us to walk you back to your carriage?" He offered hesitantly, waving his thumb between Ivan and him.

Mizi shot him down immediately. "No, thank you! I can perfectly find the way on my own!" Something about her was different than usual. Was she a bad liar? He looked at Ivan, who did not seem all that bothered by the whole ordeal.

He shifted his gaze back on Mizi, who was about to turn on her heel and walk away. Before she did, though, her gaze seemed to linger a little longer on Ivan, for whatever reason.

Was that a wink?

Before he could react, or even change his expression for that matter, Mizi dashed away into another street, heels now clinking onto the stone beneath her feet, waving her hand as salutation. He wanted to wave back to her, though she wouldn't be able to see with her back turned towards them. While he was in the act of raising his arm, something grabbed onto his hand. Something warm and firm. Ivan's hand?

He grinned at Till, grabbing the other's hand tight. "Well then, let's go, shall we?" He asked, though it wasn't really a question. And yet again, before Till was able to utter even one word of resistance, acceptance, confusion, or anything, he was dragged away by Ivan and his unmatchable force into the to-be-discovered shopping street.

There they finally stood, in front of a store that sold art supplies. It had been a tough journey. They walked into wrong streets at least twenty-four times, because that's when Till stopped counting. Along the way, they had encountered shady people trying to lure them into weird deals, feral street cats (which did, in fact, attack them), a questionable amount of couples in backstreets in broad daylight, and last but not least, a Mizi that seemed to have lost her way. They had to escort her to her carriage first before resuming their quest, something that took at least another hour. He kept wondering why Mizi was still lost when she had been in such a hurry, though?

Till sighed deeply while rubbing his face with his hands, being exhausted from all the walking and the new 'experiences' gained. His hair was a mess, his hands a few scratches richer. Those damn cats.

Ivan, who was beside him, also didn't look his best anymore, his clothes a little more loosened, his tight grip on Till slowly letting loose. Come to think of it, Ivan had never let go of his hand! Till's self-consciousness awoke again, rapidly retrieving his hand and folding his arms together. Ivan's eyes slightly drooped, almost unnoticeable for the normal human eye to catch.

Till waited a second for his beating heart to calm down (from their journey), nudging Ivan along once he was ready. Ivan had been staring at him intently for the whole time he had been waiting for him.

Till slowly placed his hand on the door, gently opening it so as not to cause a disturbance. Once the door was opened far enough, a bell rang, indicating to the owner that a customer had come in. At the counter sat a man who looked around the same age as Eduardo, dozing off while lying back in his chair. He didn't even seem to notice people had come into his shop.

Till's expression relaxed, realising he was finally able to enjoy some peace and quiet. He hoped. He really hoped Ivan would get the memo. They both walked in, minding the volume of their steps until they were a bit farther away from the counter.

They walked towards the back of the store, Ivan following Till since he was only here to accompany the other. He had no clue about the materials whatsoever, he just enjoyed Till's presence. Maybe Till did a little too, though he would never say that out loud. That would only boost Ivan's abnormally large ego even more.

Ivan ran his index finger along a shelf with brushes that came in various sizes and shapes, finger collecting more dust as his trail went on. He stopped walking when Till stopped, blowing the dust on his finger into Till's face. The man with the silver hair sneezed, a quick, shrill noise escaping his mouth. Till's ears started to turn red, opening his mouth to say something rude and loud— When Ivan laughed softly and put his finger in front of Till's mouth. Right, it would be best if they stayed silent. Till looked Ivan dead in the eye, hoping that the message that he was about to give verbally had transferred to him non-verbally.

Ivan's grin didn't falter, only getting bigger after Till's provocation. He spoke up in a quiet tone, adjusting to the setting. "So? What are you searching for? Sketchbooks? Canvasses? Brushes? Pencils? Charcoal? Paint? Watercolour? The whole shop? If you want it, I'll give it to you." He rambled all in one breath, talking as if everything he said was a perfectly normal thing to suggest for a citizen.

"Ugh, just shut up for a second, I'm trying to think." Till groaned while maintaining the same deathly stare as a few moments ago. He put his hand in front of Ivan's face, deeming it too distracting. ...Though actually, Ivan had been right. He did need all those things he just listed, minus the whole shop. That was just Ivan showing off his wealth, nothing more.

Without mentioning anything, Till started walking along the shelves, gaze shifting between every individual product, critical of what to use. In their previous world, he didn't quite possess a lot of money, so the products with the best quality would always be out of the question for him. Yet now, as the son of a duke, he was loaded! He could buy any brand he wanted!

...Or so he thought. His resources were limited, unfortunately, as to many's surprise, Urak wasn't very keen on spending too much money on Till. He did have enough, certainly, as his closet full of clothing did not disappoint by any means. His chambers, too, being adorned by lavish furniture. Yet that was all there was to it. It didn't leave him any money for things on the side, trapping him inside the luxurious cage with nothing to his name.

To his luck, when Till was searching through his room when he was trying to find art supplies, he coincidentally stumbled upon a secret money stash, and, God, was that supposed to be a little bit of money Will had scraped by? That was Till's whole yearly income! Ugh, rich people...

But thanks to that, Till now had the freedom of choice, pouch with money neatly hidden under his clothing. He picked up a few brushes that had supposedly come in new, as the sign in front of them suggested. Till ran his fingers through the bristles, scoffing at the discovered hoax. These were old brushes, the feeling in his hands stale and hard, definitely not the texture he was going for. He would have to find a better, more honest shop for next time, but right now, he didn't really have the latitude.

After searching through a few shelves, Till finally found a brand that seemed plausible. It was pricey, yes, but that was to be expected. He picked up one brush of every kind, making sure he got enough to last for a while. The same thing repeated with every other item he needed, the same trial-and-error process of finding the right brand recurring over and over again. He was taking a while, yet Ivan never complained. Never talked, even. He just let Till do what he had to do, enjoying the silence between them, just being near the other.

At last, the only thing Till needed now were canvasses. They were located at the back of the store, but for the sake of convenience, he decided to pick those last. They were crouched down, looking at the small canvasses on the bottom shelf, Ivan mirroring Till's movements. The owner was still sat behind the counter, sound asleep.

"This won't work." Till opened his mouth after an eternity of tranquil silence. "I can't bring these home with me. They are too big, too striking, so Urak will know right away what I'm doing. Take it away from me— I can't have that. These small items I can hide, but canvasses such as these..." Till sighed, in thought. He didn't want to admit it, but he missed working on assignments. He missed the freedom of striking a brush against the white, untouched canvas, creating a new world out of nothingness.

Ivan turned his head, gaze meeting the side of Till's. He seemed to be thinking for a second, judging from his silence. "You can just leave those with me. Whenever we meet, cross paths, you'll take your painting stuff with you, and I'll bring the canvas." Now Till turned his head too, meeting Ivan's sincere, soft features.

Till swallowed the lump in his throat. He couldn't keep letting Ivan do favours for him. He felt bad. Felt bad for Ivan. He kept doing things, services for him, yet Till didn't have many chances to reciprocate given his situation. It wasn't like Ivan had it much better than him, but even so, Till was always on the receiving end.

He exhaled deeply through his nose, turning his head in the direction of the canvasses again. He didn't want to see Ivan's gentle expression. It only made him feel worse. He wasn't good at stuff like this.

"No, thank you. I can't burden you more than I already do." Till said with a slight dip in his tone. He was about to stand up, his wishlist now fulfilled, yet a hand on his shoulder dragged him back down.

Ivan lifted his hand, cupping Till's jaw so he would not be able to look away again. With his free hand, he slid a loose silver strand behind Till's ear, tenderly, with all the care in the world. The expression he was wearing looked delicate, muscles relaxed and not tensed like they usually were. He was wearing his real face, not one that was taught, practised. He used his thumb on Till's cheek to stroke it, creating a soft, calming motion. Till knew Ivan could sense his feelings. It was like a sixth sense to him. When it came to Till, nothing seemed to stay hidden. He understood everything, acknowledging it all, living with everything that was included. Because he liked it that way. Because he lov—

Unable to avert his eyes, their contact maintained, Ivan waiting a beat before using his words. "It's okay. None of this has ever been a burden to me. You're doing enough." He said those things as if he had read Till's mind. As if he knew exactly what was playing inside of Till's head right this moment. "Besides, I'm doing this for my own gain too. You must know that by now." His smile widened a bit, words used in an attempt to comfort Till.

Till knew what Ivan was saying, knew what he meant, shared the feeling, but— his mind remained unchanged. It just felt so unfair. So imbalanced towards Ivan. Even if he was content with it, Till just couldn't be. It may seem like something small, a pair of simple canvasses, but it was something that had been piling up for a while, something that had been going on long before. The cause of the situation in which they found themselves now certainly didn't help, only adding yet another piece onto the pile.

Ivan didn't give up since giving in to Till right now would only fuel his worries. Till's irises were shaking slightly, left eyebrow trembling, indicating that he was thinking intently. It was something only Ivan knew, not even Till himself was enlightened of the fact. He scooted in a little closer, shoes softly shuffling over the wooden floor beneath them.

"Till, I love your art. The beauty containing them is immeasurable. Each stroke applied with delicate care, nothing existing there without reason. Though I may not know a lot about the subject, one thing I know is that it alters my way of thinking about life, love, about everything. Your paintings immerse me, greeting me into another world, your world. It enthralls me, makes me want to see more of it. Being able to provide you with something as trivial as this, it would be my pleasure. Seeing you draw, paint, sketch, time and time again would be my pleasure. Even if these canvasses were the only reason you were to hang out with me, it would be my pleasure. Really, Till, you're nothing like a burden, if anything, you're a blessing to me."

Till heard every word loud and clear. Each sentence, each syllable rang right through his head. He knew, he knew, and yet, it was so hard to accept. Yet when Ivan offered like this, gave himself to him like this, who was he to refuse? Something so sincere, so close to himself, he wouldn't dare reject. He couldn't bring himself to, no matter how badly he may have wanted to.

He stared for a few seconds at Ivan before responding, the other's expression never wavering. It gave away something confident, determined, begging. Right now, they were the only ones tucked away in their own small world. Only they seemed to understand each other. And so, Till nodded slowly, begrudgingly.

Ivan squeezed his eyes a little before letting the other go from his grip, which hadn't really been a grip, it was more like he was holding onto Till. Till himself decided to stay.

Breaking himself free, Till quickly scanned the shelves holding up the canvasses, grabbed a few of various sizes, tucking them away under his arm. The rest of the supplies lay abandoned on the counter, the owner still showing no signs of waking up unless bothered.

Throughout the whole course of his actions, Till didn't spare Ivan a glance. He was too self-conscious right now, too aware of everything about and surrounding them. 

He now had everything he wanted to buy, ready to head to the counter and pay for his new utilities. He walked over, approaching the sleeping man, hearing Ivan's footsteps creak on the wooden floor behind him. Till clicked his tongue, annoyed by the fact that the owner had been asleep the whole time. Didn't he care about any of his stuff? If Till wanted to, he could just walk out of there and enjoy all of these supplies for free. Luckily for the owner, Till was an honest man.

He grabbed the canvasses from under his arm with two hands and dropped them onto the counter in front of the man, making sure the noise made a spectacular sound when hitting the wood. In response, the owner startled awake, eyes wide from his disturbed slumber, looking up to see the person that caused it. He didn't even seem angry or annoyed about it, just casually started noting the products down like this happened all the time. Till didn't want to know the state of his business...

After a while of waiting, which they had to do for some time since Till was purchasing quite a lot, meaning it would be a lot of prices to sum up and calculate, he could finally pay, proudly fetching the pouch from under his clothes, making sure Ivan saw that he could pay for himself.

He grabbed all of his new supplies one by one, his hands becoming fuller with every item added. It got to a point where he wasn't able to carry any more at all. Trying to come up with a solution that would work, in the corner of his eye, Till saw Ivan grab something from beside the counter, placing it in front of the man behind the register. Before Till could focus on what the other was doing, Ivan had already thrown a golden coin onto the counter (he gave the owner a wink while throwing, signalling to keep the change. Stupid wealthy bitch, always throwing his money around), handing Till the mystery item he had just bought. Well, it was more like holding it out in front of him since Till's hands were full.

It was a bag. Another messenger bag, to be precise. It was made of a robust, black fabric, strong enough to hold onto weighty items, the outside of the bag decorated with another fabric, this time red, with white, glistening studs giving the bag a final touch. Elegant, yet violent. It kind of resembled Till and the outfit he was wearing the last time they saw each other. It was a reminder that he hadn't returned the one that Ivan gave him back then. Well, To Till, it was a reminder. Ivan had probably already forgotten.

For the first time in what probably had been minutes, Till looked Ivan in the eye again, meeting the same relaxed, upbeat expression he always wore. What a pain. He was somewhat thankful, though, because Till himself hadn't thought much through. Sure, hiding canvases would be hard, but so would art supplies if he had nothing to hide it with. If he had arrived back at the estate with his hands filled with art supplies or a suspiciously art supply-shaped lump under his clothes, things wouldn't have been much different. He supposed he could thank Ivan for that, and so, a singular nod followed, the corners of Ivan's lips creeping up slightly as an answer.

Till dropped everything he was holding into the opened bag, putting the stuff that didn't fit in his hands previously in there too. Once filled, Ivan moved himself a step closer towards Till, putting the bag on him. Till didn't move an inch, surprised by Ivan's approach. It still felt a bit... awkward. Ivan's persistence, his sudden declaration... Till didn't know how to handle all of that. How to repay all of that. Even though he didn't have to. Even though Ivan said so. In response, he totally shut down. Off into his own world.

They moved towards the door, Till raising his hand to the owner, who had started to drift off again. He rolled his eyes, opening the door and breathing in the fresh air. It was now late into the afternoon, the sun drifting low in the sky, cool breeze meeting his skin through the thin fabric. The street, which hadn't been all that busy throughout the day, began filling up. People returning from work, setting up their stall for the night market, it was a completely different sight from what they had seen before, a different kind of busy from the main street. Something more communal, closer.

They stood outside of the store, both watching the people going along their day in front of them. Ivan had set the canvasses beside them against a lamppost. Taking in the sight, both consumed in their own way of thinking. Though said thoughts were probably very different from each other, they just let the moment stay for a short time, using it as some sort of breather, a way to reflect.

Till, unfortunately, didn't take this moment to heart, only pushing it away into the back of his head. 'Wow, what should I draw first? The flowers in the garden? My room? Sparkles? Iva— Mizi? Eduardo? So many things to choose from! I have all kinds of materials to use too... I could draw endlessly! And when I'm satisfied with a sketch I drew, I can try and paint it on a big canva— paper! Amazing. The world of drawing. What would one do without, am I right?'  His thoughts went somewhat like that.

In the act of trying to discard thoughts by replacing them with new ones, Till hadn't noticed his skin had started to collect bumps from the cold, his body shivering along with it. Maybe he had dressed too lightly, or the weather had been playing tricks on him. The absence of a weather app was showing.

Still oblivious to this issue, Till jumped a little when he felt a warm sensation draping over his shoulder, spreading all the way to his thighs. He let out a content sigh, his mind still far away into a land of its own. This was soon interrupted by someone boring a hole through his face with their eyes, like a thorn piercing right through his fictive bliss. Without moving his head, he glanced to the side, meeting Ivan, who looked like he had to contain his laughter. What was so funny about Till staring off into space?

That's when he noticed his shoulder looked a little different than he remembered. The colour and the distance of it looked slightly off, causing Till to direct his sight onto the confusing difference. He blinked twice before realising the change and the cause of it, standing right next to him.

While Till hadn't been paying attention, Ivan had put his own coat over Till's shoulders, likely noticing the tremor throughout his body and instinctively acting upon it. He probably expected to be told off, yet he wasn't, Till even seemed to be glad about it. Ivan was savouring the moment, though maybe a bit too enthusiastically, as his stares were even intercepted by a Till that didn't seem to be living in the same moment as him.

Should he take it off? It felt kind of embarrassing to be wearing his coat like this. Wasn't he cold himself? But then again, it was a token of kindness, so to refuse... To hell with that! Ivan probably did so to get a reaction out of him again or something. He didn't know his intentions, but Ivan never did something without reason. Like last time at the library, making him lend his books to give them a reason to see each other again, like Till would just abandon him. He did think about it sometimes (he never did).

Till's plan was to take the coat off, give it back to Ivan and then politely thank him, or something along those lines. His plan was intercepted, however, because when his hands moved to his shoulders to remove the piece of clothing, Ivan's hands appeared to be faster, pressing firmly onto Till's shoulders, keeping the coat in place.

"What do you think you're doing? Let me go and take your coat back. I'm fine." Till scowled at Ivan, who was now in front of him. He tried to release himself by attempting to forcefully shove Ivan's hands off of his shoulders, but the other's fingers were strongly held in place.

Ivan grinned, yet the serious undertone in his voice could still be heard. "Till, I know you're cold, so don't act stubborn now. I'm wearing extra layers anyway." His grip tightened, already visualising the way Till would use another method in an attempt to break free, bowing his head down a little so that he was on the same eye level.

"I'm not cold!" Till told him, which was sort of true, as the tips of his ears were slowly turning red. "I don't need your stupid fancy coat, now get it off of me, fuckface!" Ah, he had resorted to cursing again. Well, that only seemed to be natural when talking to Ivan. It was like finding a fork in the kitchen. 

"Man, I really thought I was blending in with the commoners today..." Ivan responded pending, momentarily glancing down at his outfit before turning his gaze on Till again, still unmoving. Figuring his way of removing Ivan's hands didn't seem to plan out, Till could only resort to his very last option. It may be foul play, yes, but this technique was only to be used in times where Ivan didn't listen. Which was a lot, but now, considering Ivan's overwhelming physique, Till didn't seem to have any other choice.

He was going to kick him in his balls.

It wasn't just, no. But neither was Ivan's irritating strength. It wasn't that Till was weak, Ivan was just too strong. Annoyingly so. And so, when he thought Ivan had put his guard down, he swung his leg in front, aiming at the other's most valuable body part.

And... Hit! Or... was it? Before he could observe the result, before he could notice the empty place on his shoulder and the hand on his knee, he was rapidly turned around to face the same direction Ivan was looking in, hands on his shoulders turned into an arm swung over it. What the—

In the act of trying to hit Ivan's balls with his knee, Ivan intercepted the assault, blocking it with his newly released hand. He then swiftly used the arm still attached to Till to swing it around him, spinning Till in the process and gripping him tight, just in another way than previously.

Wow. Till was stunned. Speechless, even. But more than that, he was angry. Angry at Ivan, angry at the world, just angry at everything. Unfortunately for Ivan, he was the one closest to him right now. His raging fit continued, however, this time it was only verbal instead of verbal and physical. "Let me go! I've had enough! You spawn of the devil! Twatwaffle! Douchebag!" Till yelled, though in a volume that wouldn't disturb the other residents. He didn't want any of their attention going to... this.

Yet instead of teasing Till any further, pushing him, or whatever trick Ivan still had up his sleeve, he surprisingly released him. Though not entirely without reason. One hand went to his mouth, covering it, the other clutching his side. What followed was a burst of laughter, rich and authentic.

Ivan bowed over, his howls not dying down. Many might not know this, but Ivan's laugh was actually ugly as hell. He always let out a practised laugh when around others, though not with Till, resulting in this... noise.

Ivan slowly got back up, a few wheezes escaping his mouth in the process. Before he could say anything, Till kicked him in his shin, this time without Ivan blocking it. The coat was still around his shoulders. "What was so funny about that, huh? Are you enjoying my suffering again? You really contradict your own actions..." Till said the last part incoherently on purpose. He did always find it confusing when Ivan was all nice to him first and then started teasing him the next second. Though he never really questioned it, since it was Ivan.

Ivan wiped away a small tear in the corner of his eye, glistening in the low-set sun. The sun fell onto him from the side, highlighting one side of his face while shading the other. One side of his features shone, black iris with scarlet pupil glimmering in the light, his bottom eyelashes fluttering with every blink. The shade of his cheeks was a light rose, which must be because of the laughing fit he just went through. "Nothing, I'm just glad to see you've returned back to your normal self. You being quiet like that doesn't suit you at all, you know." Ivan remarked in a soft tone.

Till wasn't sure of what to say for a few seconds, so he ended up staring at Ivan in front of him, the other awaiting his reaction. "Uh? I'm always like this?" Till muttered eventually, his eyes averting to the side like the bad liar he was. Ivan's actions as of late made him quite self-conscious, as mentioned a few times before. Not waiting for Ivan's answer, he promptly turned around, urging to walk away. Still wearing the coat.

He heard shuffling behind him, likely Ivan grabbing the canvasses that were discarded beside them and picking up his pace to be at Till's side again. He bumped into him lightly, trying to get the other's attention once more. He started talking about mundane things, keeping Till distracted, averting his downplaying thoughts yet again.

All the while bickering, while Till was in the middle of explaining why soup wasn't a drink, he was stopped in his tracks by an arm put in front of him, preventing him from setting forth. The arm unfortunately hit his chest, causing him to stop mid-sentence and bite his tongue, knocking the wind out of him, leading to a coughing fit.

Ivan, the one responsible for the arm, raised his eyebrow, patting Till on the back until his coughing was over. Till grabbed the hand on his back by its wrist, forcing it in front of them. Ivan was surprisingly cooperative. "What the hell!? What did you do that for??" Till yelled at him, voice still a bit rough and cracking from the coughing.

Ivan used his captive hand to raise his finger and point it to the end of the street. Because he had been talking, Till hadn't noticed, but in approximately two hundred metres, they would enter the city centre again, which meant they had to say their goodbyes before splitting up again. The moment Till let Ivan's wrist go, his own was gripped tightly and he was dragged into the nearest alley. It was a narrow space, so Till's back was against the wall, facing Ivan, who was desperate to not let the canvasses fall that he was balancing between the wall and his back. "This place is safer, just in case one of our guards are strolling by." Ivan told him in a low voice, releasing Till.

Till's expression shifted into one of confusion, finding the situation they were in right now a bit over the top. "Okay, bye?" He responded, Ivan's head tilting slightly to the side, telling Till he was not quite satisfied yet. 

Till blinked a few times, eyes darting in different directions, trying to understand what Ivan wanted him to say. He looked down, realising he still had the coat on that Ivan had given him. In all the rush and embarrassment, he forgot to take it off, practically giving in to Ivan. That ticked him off a little.

He took the coat off, struggling a bit because of the narrow space. After removing it, he shoved it into Ivan's chest until the other took it over from him, expectant look radiating from his face. The more Ivan egged him on, the less Till wanted to do it. "Thank you. For the coat. And the canvasses. And the rest." Till said reluctantly, his voice dying down with each word spoken.

Ivan grinned, snaggletooth poking his bottom lip, denting it. "Aw, Till, you didn't have to say that! Everything I did was from the goodness of my heart, truly." He emphasised, his hair falling to one side of his face as he tilted it a bit further. Had the space between them been this limited the whole time?

Till didn't know whether to feel irritated, embarrassed, or flattered, so he chose the easiest one for him. The first. "You—" Unfortunately he didn't get too far, as Ivan was one step ahead of him.

He raised his free hand, the other arm occupied with holding his returned coat up, and brought it up to Till's cheek, right under his eye. His thumb swiped over the skin, silencing Till in an instant. "I will be busy for the next two weeks, so I apologise in advance for not being able to see you for a while, as much as it pains me. Right after those two weeks, there will be a masquerade ball hosted by Sua's household. Won't you come? It'll be fun, right?" He rambled, yet his tone of voice was soft, pleading.

Ivan removed the thumb still lingering on Till's cheekbone, revealing a discarded eyelash. When he blew it away, Till assumed he made a wish inside his head. "Use the time in between to hone your drawing skills so you can create a beautiful piece once we see each other again after the ball, all right?" Ivan continued, flashing Till one last smile before grabbing the canvasses behind him and walking away.

Seriously... How could he leave Till here? After all... that?  What the fuck just happened? Till stood there for a minute or three more after Ivan had left. Ivan had always been keen on disturbing Till's personal space, but was it him, or did the air seem to linger longer after he left? Was that a side effect of the reincarnation? Or the accident? Till's heart was pounding. He must be nervous to return to his carriage again, to his home where Urak would be.

Till slapped himself on his cheeks, leaving a red tint on them. Which wasn't there before. It was newly created after the hit. He grabbed the strap of his bag tightly, fists turning white, and disappeared into the bustling streets before almost getting tackled by his very own guards.

Till had expected to get another talking-to once he returned to his home, yet the only thing that happened as a consequence was the guards handling him roughly, shoving him inside the carriage and through the entrance of the estate, nothing more. Either him practically running away was not something worthy of notice, or they were too afraid to disturb Urak over such a matter, fearing consequences for themselves too, as they let Till slip from their grasp for such a long time.

He was now lying on his bed, art supplies stored in a place only he knew of. He had tested most of them out, and God, he was stunned. The quality of the goods was stellar, much better than the ones he previously used. He wanted to start drawing right away but realised that if he started now, he would probably be up until sunrise. So, he restrained himself, forbidding himself from drawing until the next day.

And now, all dressed down, he grabbed the covers of his obnoxiously large bed, getting comfortable, surrounded by warmth. He felt so excited he didn't know if he would be able to fall asleep any time soon. Bleak moonlight fell softly through the curtains in thin streaks, outside noises singing him a lullaby.

Soon enough, he drifted off, soft snores filling the full, yet empty room.

Till slowly opened his eyes, nearly being blinded by a bright, yellow-orange light shining vividly on his face, in front of him unfolding an unfamiliar scene. The sun was setting above a small beach, water reaching the surface in small waves, foam bubbling down onto the sand before another wave came crashing in again. The origin of the blinding light, the sun that was steadily going down, reflected on the water, the sand beneath it seemingly turning golden.

In the distance flew a seagull, circling above the water, wailing its noises, echoing through the air. The cold, coastal wind hit his face, breezing through his thin clothes. He looked around for a moment, still in quite a daze, before something next to him caught his attention.

Right beside him was another figure, another person. Inspecting closer, there could only be one right answer to the question of who it was. Of course, it was Ivan.

He was looking ahead of him, right into the sunset, admiring the view. He was living in the moment, and like it was instinct, Till did too. He stared at the sight in front of him, forgetting about everything, only thinking about now. His body seemed to move before his mind, not giving him any chances to intervene. He didn't need to. It felt like he belonged. 

Everything was so quiet, so tranquil, so peaceful. It was only them, living in their own world, finding comfort in each other's presence. No words needed to be said, only the feeling was enough. There didn't have to be more, no one would dare to ask for it. Scared to overstep any boundaries, not wanting to let the moment go. Wishing to stay forever in this moment of their combined solitude.

Then Ivan got up, grabbing Till's hand along the way, guiding him into the water, waves slowly washing ashore in a gentle manner. The noises of nature surrounded them, the calming sound of the sea singing its rhythmic melody— until the devil returned again.

Ivan let go of Till's hand, sly grin forming on his face, one Till knew all too well. Before he knew it, Ivan splashed water onto him, leaving Till's perfectly dry clothes with wet patches all over it. Their moment of tranquillity was gone, only hostility remained. Somewhat. Playful banter would be the way Ivan would describe it.

Of course, Till couldn't let this go. He splashed water back at Ivan, continuously slamming his hands in and out of the water, getting Ivan even wetter than he was. Ivan only laughed, arms protecting his face and hair.

Till thought it was weird. The beach had been so chilly and breezy thus far, so why was he getting warmer now that he was in the cold water? Ivan smiled at him, laughed at him, and Till, Till couldn't stand it. His stomach was feeling weird, it was always Ivan who made him feel like that. He didn't know whether he liked it or not, but it was probably not anything positive, right? If so, why did his insides feel so giddy? Why was he experiencing such a shortage of breath?

As he had mentioned before, Till's body moved before his mind could. In this world, it didn't matter. In this world, it was only the two of them. It would be okay to be selfish, right?

Till grabbed Ivan by his neck, giving him a scolding before dumping one last batch of water onto his face, Ivan now completely soaked. He let go of him, staring into his eyes, communicating without any words. Ivan looked desperate, yet happy, delighted, yearning—

Before Till knew it, he was inching closer, standing on his tiptoes. Ivan lightly grabbed his chin, and then—

And then, Till woke up.

...

What the fuck was that dream??

Chapter Text

The early light of the morning shone through the messily closed curtains of Till's chambers, faintly lighting up the room. The noises of outside could be heard, the rustling of people working in the garden, birds singing their morning call.

Till's 'morning call' resembled a somewhat horrified yelp. He sat up in his bed, wide awake, too early for the usual routine he followed. With one hand, he gripped his own hair tight, the other hand covering his mouth in shock. It took a while for him to start moving again, his body and mind needing a moment to boot up.

That dream... What the actual fuck was that? It started off great, very peaceful and familiar, up until the last part. He could recall the feeling all too well. Was he getting sick? The way his stomach felt, the sun reddening his features... He still felt it ghosting over his body. Did he have a sunstroke?

So... Back then, in the dream, he splashed water on Ivan, got closer and closer to him... and then what? It cut off there. Till certainly didn't have any idea of what could have happened after that. Absolutely no idea! Maybe he was trying to wipe Ivan's face clean because he felt apologetic for getting him all wet? That must be it, right? What else could he be doing so close to Ivan's face like that?

Till was busy making excuses— no— in Till's words, trying to come up with a conclusion to that ambiguous ending. Maybe the answer lay within something he experienced the day before? Let's see... He met up with Ivan and Mizi, went to the art store with Ivan, was very close to Ivan in an alleyway... Right! Ivan had helped him by removing a discarded eyelash from his face! Till must have dreamt that to repay the favour, to dry his face and hair off!

All the while his head was working overtime, Till was sweating profusely, somewhere deep in his mind and heart knowing that he was just fooling himself. He just subconsciously decided to push it aside, all the way to the back, not yet ready for a revelation as serious as that. What part of it was certain? Nothing was, not at the moment. Did he even want anything like that? Wasn't he just swept up in the momentum?

As said, all of that was pushed to the back of his mind. That was his subconscious talking. His conscious was still busy with diverting himself, having already come up with a conclusion and a distraction to the matter at hand.

Till sat under the covers for a moment longer, calming his breathing, letting his body temperature fall down again. Once he was ready, he got up, walking over to the loose floorboard in front of his bookshelf, prying it open to reveal his newly bought art supplies hidden right underneath it. He grabbed all of the items and laid them down onto the floor in a neat array, then stood up to tower over it.

Right. This was what he wanted to do. To draw! All of his attention went to that confusing dream, totally forgetting the reason he went to sleep so early the night before in the first place. Now his mind could be occupied, his heart filled with ambition.

He grabbed the items he wanted to use today, putting the unused ones back under the floorboard. He walked over to his desk, putting all the items down except for a pencil, using that to tap his chin continuously while trying to think up something to draw. It was his first drawing here, so it must be something that held meaning, he decided.

As mentioned before, Till excelled in flower art. He found it beautiful, something created by nature, so free and pure. Even when of the same kind, in every singular flower, a difference could be found; nothing was ever the same.

He moved his chair over to his window, lifting his feet up on the seat so he could lean his sketchbook against his legs. He stared outside, eyes scanning the garden outside of his window, everything a little too far away to properly overlook. He was able to make out flowerbeds from this distance, but seeing exactly what kind of flower it was proved to be difficult.

That was until he looked a little further to the left, seeing something that he would be able to recognise out of thousands. Were those... anemones? The field that he used to go to to draw was filled with them, along with angelic, stark white edelweiss, scattered across the grassy plain. Now that takes him back. The countless hours he spent there, just him and his sketchbook (and frequently Ivan). His old sketchbooks were filled with those two specific flowers; he would be able to draw them even with his eyes closed at this point. Their beauty never faded, the serene scene of the field swaying in the afternoon wind alongside the golden clouds, the sun hiding behind them.

Till sighed in nostalgia. He would never be able to see that beloved field ever again. Something tugged at his heart at the thought, but it faded just as soon as it came. He had by now accepted his current reality; all he could do at the moment was make new, maybe even better, memories. He would surely be able to find another field just like the previous, perhaps even outshining it, though that would be awfully hard to surpass.

He propped himself up into the right position, putting his pencil on the paper and beginning to move accordingly. While drawing, like it was second nature, his mind drifting off. He began thinking about the invitation he received the day prior. The masquerade. Frankly, he hated parties, but since he was a noble and stuff right now, he supposed that there was no way around it. There wouldn't be any good reason to turn Ivan down.

He looked at his sketch, not all that dispirited by the result. Yes, he had gotten a bit rusty, but for the sketch, he assumed it could have been worse. That didn't mean he had to be satisfied. There was so much more to do, so much more to improve, so that he could pour all his expertise into a piece, all his knowledge and feelings combined on one canvas.

Actually, looking at the flowers, a bulb began lighting up inside Till's head. Man, his great ideas seemed to never run out lately! He got up, laying his sketchbook beside him, though not closing it entirely. He needed it for something else, the beginning of his idea set in motion.

Two weeks flew by, and before Till knew it, the day of the masquerade had arrived. This time, it only took place in the evening, so he was lucky enough not to be woken up early in the morning to get into full glam like last time. The surprise was also a lot less, thankfully.

He had informed the maids of his night out a few days prior, assuming they would need to dress him up again. He was able to at least make himself look proper when he was alone, but not in the way those maids did it last time. He didn't know what magic they had used for his eyebags to suddenly disappear like that. If only it could stay that way...

As the day passed, Till went to visit Eduardo in the stables to catch up and talk to him about his plans for the night. Nothing major, but something within him felt at ease if Eduardo knew of things such as these. For reassurance, maybe?

The rest of his day went as the ones before. He stayed in his room with his sketchbook, occasionally grabbing a novel he got from Ivan and rereading it when drawing got too frustrating. Till's inspiration was drying up, his hands not working in the way he wanted them to. Ugh, Ivan and he were supposed to meet up soon after the masquerade so that Till could paint on a canvas, yet nothing seemed to come to mind when he started a sketch or tried to come up with something for the final piece. Even so, he didn't want to postpone it, his whole being itching to create. He hoped his art block would miraculously vanish the moment the canvas was in front of him.

Nevertheless, his day still went on. He made some final touches to his undisclosed project, satisfied with the final result. When he put the object down, like it was destined, there was a knock on his door. The maids had arrived to dress him up, five of them hurrying in like it was the highlight of their job.

This time went just like the last, overwhelming but very impressive. After they were done, the maids left, leaving him with the announcement that the carriage would be ready in ten minutes. Now being alone in his room, Till walked over to his mirror, admiring the sight. Those maids really knew how to get the job done.

His hair was neatly slicked back, a few strands hanging loose around his temples, too stubborn to stay put. His suit was mainly black, the detailing all coloured in a red and white tone, just like he requested. He didn't go out to buy the clothes, not wanting to waste any time. He had searched through his closet, found clothes he thought were decent, and sketched a few changes to them onto some paper, adding details he thought would breathe new life into the dull clothing. He gave the sketch and the old suit to the maid he knew best, certain that she could get the job done and bring it to a tailor. And he was right, as he was now wearing a piece identical to his drawn-out vision.

Secretly, Till liked the new clothing style that came along with the reincarnation. Of course, he missed wearing comfortable clothing, lounge clothing, because even the clothing he wore at home here was something he wouldn't even consider wearing to a wedding, but wearing the same clothes as the characters of the novels he always read and dreamt of felt good, refreshing. In his opinion, the style actually suited him quite well, just like it did Ivan. And Mizi, of course. Not only Ivan.

He flattened the last remaining creases on his clothing before walking over to his desk. Because what would a masquerade be without a mask? 

After drawing his very first sketch two weeks ago, Till came up with an idea. What if he made his own mask? He had always liked creating and had wanted to try his hand at making clothes forever. Now, a mask was not precisely a piece of regular clothing, but he had to start somewhere, right? And so, he dove into his closet, finding pieces of fabric and anything else he might need from pieces he was sure would never see the light of day again.

The final result was, in his opinion, a perfect fabrication of what he had visualised. The design of the mask covered his forehead, going all the way down to the bridge of his nose, where it was cut into a straight line, measured to fit his own face. The detailing, which he embroidered himself, was red and white, also in the same shade as the detailing on his current clothing. He had embroidered anemones and edelweiss all over the mask, creating a flowing pattern while still keeping it elegant and casual. Around the flowers, he added small green details, resembling the leaves.

Till had poured his whole heart into it, and though it may not look all that special at first glance, to him, it was priceless, something of worth to him, and that was all that mattered.

After making sure he put it on correctly so that it wouldn't be able to slide off his face during the ball, he made his way downstairs and outside, where his carriage stood waiting for him. While he was getting in, the coachman gave him a calculating look of disdain, thus Till was able to make out that that person was one of Urak's people. He took a mental note that he needed to be wary of him when nearby. 

Not a word was exchanged between any of the people involved, but Till didn't really care all that much. He was glad, actually. There was no use in pointless conversing.

The carriage started moving, reminding Till once again that the method of transportation here was generally awful. The carriage shook tremendously, and he almost flew three meters up whenever there was a bump in the road. Travelling on horseback was faster, but when it was too long, his back wasn't entirely in favour.

Till stared out of the window, greeted with a new scenery as the masquerade was held somewhere he hadn't been yet: Sua's estate. It was relatively close to the palace, as he had read in the novel. The ball took place in the evening, so the view from the carriage was magnificent. The low-setting sun coated the flowery field that he passed with warm colours, multiple flora showing off their unique colours, now with a new, golden tint to them. That golden hue... It reminded him of something...—Nope. Definitely not of a beach. Definitely not of a man drenched in seawater. Why would he think of something so random?

Till sighed. He was glad he could see Ivan and Mizi again, maybe even Sua (though he didn't know how she would feel if she saw him), but because of Urak's ridiculous amount of eyes and followers, he wasn't going to be able to talk to them that much unless they snuck out. But then again, if he was gone for too long, that would be suspicious too. The only 'logical' thing to do would be to stay away from them and only come in contact with them once to show Urak he fulfilled his job, but would Till be Till if he followed that fucker's orders?

He couldn't shoot his chances too far, though. He didn't want to end up in a dungeon or something of that kind, but a bit of defiance wouldn't be out of place, no?

After some more time of uncomfortable transportation, his desired destination was reached, grandiose gates being opened before them. The carriage stopped in front of the stairs, yet no attendant came to open the door for him. Fine by Till, he had been given his own two hands at birth after all. He stepped out with an annoyed look on his face, glaring at the coachman, who didn't even bother looking at him. He slammed the door shut, the carriage immediately taking its leave after.

'Well damn.' Till thought, but quickly got over it. It wasn't worth any of his time, he was glad the 'eyes' had already left. He went up the stairs, reminiscing about how he bumped into Mizi last time. That had actually changed his life, if it hadn't already. Which it had. Quite drastically, actually.

He reached the top and went inside, guards already aware of his identity due to the family crest being displayed on his carriage. This went way easier than when he went to the palace to search for Ivan. He stepped inside, the grand doors of the entrance already opened, and made his way to the banquet hall. The melodic, classical music transferred through the walls, and Till was already dreading the possibility of having to dance. He really hoped that that part was included in the muscle memory package too.

The doors to the hall were opened for him by two servants, yet no one called his name upon entering, as no one was meant to know of each other's identity. Well, it was more like you were meant to act like you didn't know who the other was. The only thing being hidden was half of their face, so it actually wasn't that difficult to decipher who was who. Acting like you didn't was the real play. Giving others the freedom to express themselves, expecting the act would be mutually returned.

Till's eyes scanned the vicinity, trying to figure out which place would be best to stand at in order to stand out less. He made his way down the stairs, steps slow and deliberate, trying to find a proper place (or a certain person). Then, as sharp and precise as a laser, a beam of red hit him, scarlet pupils boring a hole into his entire being.

His eyes met Ivan's, the prince standing all the way in the back, surrounded by important-looking nobles. The corners of his lips curled into a sly smile, and Till could already tell exactly which muscles of his face accompanied such an expression. Till halted his movements, just for a second, before the nobles who had surrounded Ivan turned around to look in the direction that had caught the royal's attention. Till quickly turned his head, finishing the remaining steps and retreating to an empty space along the wall as fast and casually as he could.

Creepy motherfucker. How was he always able to find him that quickly, even way before Till had even noticed his presence? He was being far too obvious, too. His eyes were brimming with excitement and something... indescribable. Till wouldn't say it was something unsettling, but it did something to his heart. Very strange.

He stood there for a few seconds, mask already irritating his face. He was bored. When would be a good time to sneak his way to Ivan? Or Mizi? He hadn't even found Mizi yet, and Ivan seemed unreachable through the hordes of people surrounding him. It was the same as last time, yet back then he wasn't actively trying to come into contact with the prince. Must be nice being that popular, huh? (Till knew Ivan hated all the attention.)

He made his way to the table with refreshments, at the very least trying to find something to do. Dancing would be out of the question, so maybe they had something nice to eat or drink, for that matter. In the corner of his eye, he saw a butler with a silver plate approaching him. When he fully turned to face him, what met his eye were glasses with champagne, the servant offering him to take one. Who was Till to say no to that?

He glanced in the direction of the spot where he had stood until now, discovering it was still empty. After a mental fist pump, he made his way over, almost bumping into someone along his path. He threw in some words of apology, never quite making eye contact, his goal in mind being in a different place than right there.

Yet, when his mouth closed and his feet started moving again, he felt an ominous presence behind him, something similar to Ivan, yet slightly different, hostility replacing eagerness. Feeling a shiver travel down his spine, he had no choice but to spin around once more, this time properly, as he had the feeling that if he just went his merry way now, the consequences would be severe.

At first, he was faced with nothing. At second glance, or more specifically, a glance downwards, he was met with a shorter woman, black hair resembling someone he knew very well. She was wearing a flowing, cream dress, lavender-coloured lace detailing every border, a shawl in the same shade loosely draped over her shoulders. Her mask suited a classic style, miniature purple roses affixed around her eyes, short hair flowing to match the grace of her dress.

Her eyes were fixated on his, feeling as if she towered over him despite her shorter length. Till took a deep breath, bracing himself for the incoming conversation. There were three ways this interaction could play out. One, she would gracefully cuss Till out like she did last time. Two, Mizi had cleared up the misunderstanding, and they were going to immerse themselves in small talk. Three, she would walk away. For the sake of convenience, Till hoped it would be the second. Not because he liked small talk, but because he would not be able to handle explaining everything to Sua on his own.

A second of staring later, Sua's mouth finally opened to speak. Cold sweat started collecting on Till's forehead. "So? I figure you have picked up my advice?" She said unwaveringly, breaking eye contact to fix her dress. So it was the first option. He really didn't know why she would purposely confront him. In the novel, she always stayed quiet, wary of speaking out. Did he appear that much of a wuss? Or did Mizi's reciprocated feelings also play a part?

Till cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck. He laughed nervously. "Lady Sua, as I said last time... before you ran away..." He said that part somewhat softer. He swallowed. "It's nothing like that. Mizi and I are just—"

Sua interrupted him, sharp and clear. "Just what, exactly? Because everyone who has seen you, and even my own eyes—" Another cutoff.

It was like a pink glow flooded over them. The tension in the air had all but dissipated. "Sua~! There you are! I've been searching for you everywhere—Till! You were here too!?" From behind Sua, Mizi emerged in all her glory. In one hand, she was holding a champagne glass, while in the other, her mask. Her mask was one of the kinds with a handle attached to the side so that the wearer would have to hold it the whole time. It seemed like a tedious task, Till being sure Mizi wouldn't be able to uphold that the entire night.

Her hair was put up in an elegant bun, even Till, who didn't know all that much about hair and its styles, could see a lot of work had been put into it. To top it off, a string made of miniature sunflowers surrounded it, perfectly fitting in with her yellow dress. The skirt dragged behind her like a veil, a cloak in the same shade of organza fabric attached around her neck, draping over her shoulders all the way to the bottom. Her mask was no less of a pleasant spectacle to the eyes, the handle green, matching the brooch on her neck keeping the cloak in place, representing the stem of a flower. It was the exact same colour as her eyes. The mask itself was, again, the same shade as her dress, with small sunflowers embroidered along the border. All in all, it looked like she resembled the personification of the sun. Helios had to make way for her.

Till looked to his side where Sua stood, just as enthralled as he was. Hadn't she seen Mizi already this evening? She must be smitten, if so. "Hey, Mizi! I just arrived. I was getting adjusted when I... bumped into Sua." He nudged his head towards the short-haired woman, who had already left him. While he was talking, she went to Mizi's side, snaking an arm around her waist. Mizi wasn't bothered in the slightest, even scooting a little closer towards Sua.

Mizi's smile brightened, white teeth greeting the world, leaning into Sua's touch. Till enjoyed watching them, grateful for their happiness, just like he always has. Even if his life sucked, his wounds could partially be healed by seeing others live the life they wanted, the life they deserved (though in some instances, it could deepen the wound). Mizi tilted her head to the side, cheek resting on top of the head of the girl she loved. "I didn't expect you to be here! Did Ivan invite you? Have you seen him already? Do you want me to take you to him?" She asked, bombarding him with questions filled with excitement.

He put his hands in front of him, telling her to slow down. "Ivan invited me, and we locked eyes for a second just now, but that's about it. I really appreciate your offer, but you know how things are..." He explained, eyes averting to the side, champagne in his hand long forgotten. It was okay to talk to them for a while, but given his situation, he wasn't able to for long, regret on his face showing.

Mizi's eyebrows heightened slightly as a sign of remembrance. She lowered the hand her mask was in, bringing it to her heart, revealing her face. "Right... I'm so sorry, Till. Let's make the most of it while we can! Let's talk until there's no reason for suspicion!" She cheered, perhaps a little too enthusiastically, but her spirit was there. Next to her, Sua gave them a puzzled look, not yet notified of the circumstances Till found himself in. He wanted to explain himself, but not here. Another timing was needed, or, preferably, he didn't need to participate in that conversation.

Mizi started talking about the past two weeks and what she had been up to, Sua hanging on her lips like she wasn't in every story Mizi told. It appeared Mizi had forgotten she was still at the masquerade, her mask still dropped, holding onto it uselessly. Sua used her free hand to gently nudge Mizi's hand back to her face, all the while the other was busy in her telling.

After her ramble had concluded, Mizi looked expectantly in Till's way, awaiting an equally as enthralling retelling. Unfortunately, he didn't do anything worthy of notice, only reading, drawing, and designing. What was she expecting from him?

As he took a sip of his abandoned champagne, soothing his throat in preparation to speak, a figure arose next to him, looming over him, peeking into his very existence. A shudder ran through his body, eyes wide as he looked to the side. Ivan.

Till took in his features, sharp jawline recognisable from anywhere, hair neatly combed to the side. His suit had some resemblance to Till's, though it was obvious Ivan's was of higher quality, details skilfully crafted and placed. His suit was a blinding white, ruffled blouse underneath a muffled red, matching the corsage of a gloxinia on his chest. The detailing remained silver, a symbol of his wealth and royal blood. His mask was plain and 'Phantom of the Opera' themed (though they probably didn't know what that was here), his scarlet irises being more than enough extra colour needed.

"Till, I haven't seen you in a while." Ivan said calmly while approaching them. Was this bastard holding back? So he did know how to read the room when he was supposed to. After a second, his eyes finally pried away from Till to notice the two women he was talking to. "Ah, Mizi! You're here too! And... Sua. Great ball, may I say." He added, disdain in his voice noticeable, but solely from looking at Sua's facial expression, it seemed that the feeling was mutual.

The first to speak back to him of the trio was Sua, sharp tongue ready to fire. "A displeasure to see you as well. Are you here to pick up the scraps?" She sneered with a death stare, her voice remaining elegant, though her hand was gripping Mizi somewhat tighter, almost impossible for the human eye to notice. With 'scraps', she must mean Till.

"Sua!" Mizi yelped, shaking her head. "Hello, Ivan! It's so nice to see you again! Did everything work out?" She secretly glanced at Till in a nanosecond, though Till caught that. What did she mean by that?

Ivan's grin widened, the corner of his mouth almost disappearing under his mask. "Somewhat, I guess." He said cunningly, shuffling closer to Till, now touching shoulders. Till had kept quiet this whole time, taking notice of the dynamic being created. His moment of stillness was unfortunately brutally interrupted by Ivan poking his side repeatedly.

He slapped Ivan's hand away, sighing deeply while putting his empty glass on the table next to him. "Stop that, you idiot! If you came here just to annoy me, then get the hell away." He spat, Ivan not affected at all. Though he showed some restraint tonight, his underlying intentions were still as clear as day. Till took a small step away from Ivan, the other immediately following suit, staying attached. Till was actually kind of glad Ivan was here, a feeling of familiarity washing over him, it was just that his mouth was quicker than his mind. That said, he would never say such a thing out loud.

Till clicked his tongue, when a realisation suddenly hit him. That fucking dream. He turned his head to glance at Ivan's face, the other's eyes already fixated on his as per usual. Till was a bit more aware of it than normal, all because of that stupid, meaningless dream. He best stay a little farther away from Ivan tonight, ears already burning up at just the thought of that midnight surprise.

Sua coughed gracefully, catching the attention of the two men in front of her. Her eyes seemed to have gained somewhat of a sparkle, just barely. The corners of her mouth turned up faintly, a look Till hadn't seen on her before. He grew sceptical. "I see how it is now. Till, apologies for my previous behaviour. I wish you both well. And Ivan, don't think you're getting off the hook that easily." She stated, turning around and taking Mizi with her without waiting for a reaction. Mizi seemed to enjoy herself, hand covering her mouth while walking away, face slowly turning red.

Till blinked a few times. Then turned to Ivan, blinking a few times more. It appeared that Ivan experienced the same shock as Till, though Till's was out of horrification, and Ivan's was out of amusement. Ivan regained his composure, still attached to Till, not having made any effort to move. "Do you want to go outside? Fewer eyes there." He said out of consideration (Till thought) (he hoped). Till nodded, still quite dazed. First that dream, now Sua... Was the world torturing him, if it hadn't done so enough already? In response to Ivan's question, he nodded, following him along into the garden filled with all kinds of purple flora.

They walked into a secluded corner, a lone pavilion standing there looking like it hadn't received any visitors in quite a while. The cold breeze was refreshing, breathing new life into Till, releasing him from the suffocating air that was inside the venue. He leaned onto the white metal, allowing himself to let go of his posture, granting himself a snippet of time to be himself, because Ivan was there.

Ivan settled next to Till, gently removing his own mask before inching his hands closer to Till. The other flinched, surprised by the sudden intimacy, his self-conscious consuming him because of that very morning. Ivan's hands moved gently around his head, untying the mask, loosening it, and lowering it in order to see Till's bashful face. Till pinched his own cheek. He needed to get his act together—!

Ivan turned his head in the direction the bright lights were coming from. Faint music, which one would barely be able to make out, landed on their ears, a swaying melody carrying its notes through the air. Ivan exhaled slowly, Till figured this moment must be a breather for him as well. Maybe even more so, based on how Ivan was already surrounded by hordes of nobles when Till first came in. He couldn't even think about it, circled by people only wanting something from you, never interested in the person lying underneath.

They stood there for a moment, side to side, masks discarded, facade having already flown away along with the wind. It was only them here, muffled noises of laughter echoing from the distance. Yet none of that laughter knew of them, knew they were there. Only the stars and the crescent moon shining on them from above knew of their combined existence, right then and there.

Moonlight shone on Till's face, stars reflecting in his eyes, creating a dazzling scene. Ivan stepped away from his place, taking a few steps backward to stand in the middle of the pavilion. Till followed his movements with his eyes, watching Ivan as he bent forward, one arm on his back, the other extended towards Till. "Care for a dance, m'... sir?" Ivan grinned, the silver on his suit shimmering in the light, illuminating his entire being.

It was moments like these that Till treasured the most. Usually, it looked like they were fighting, constantly bickering, teasing, cursing. Though, that only appeared as such on the surface. The times when no one was around, they silently found comfort in each other. Both being raised in a cruel manner, different from each other, yet so alike. It was understanding that had brought them where they were now.

Till scoffed, tough act not yet faltering, even with the mask gone. Once he began facing everything, it would be over. His life as he knew it, his mind, his feelings. Everything he had known up until now would change. Everything would get better when maintaining ignorance. He told himself that lie over and over again, never growing sick of it. Because he couldn't. Because that was what he told himself.

He stepped forward, reaching for Ivan's hand, both getting into position. Once again, muscle memory did its wonders. They listened to the faint music playing in the background, moving along to the indistinct melody. His heart was beating in an impossible tempo, hoping Ivan wouldn't catch onto it even if their bodies were aligned.

Till kept staring at Ivan's shoulder. In the dream, they were about as close as this. Maybe they were even closer now. What expression was Dream Ivan making back then? What expression was Ivan making now? Till didn't want to know. He kept his head down, down into oblivion.

Ivan hummed along with the music, not aware of any feeling Till was experiencing right this moment. Not that Till himself knew any better. Their movements were calming, Ivan's voice soothing. It was all so conflicting. The gentle air on the outside, the raging storm on the inside.

"You're quite compliant today. Is anything the matter?" Ivan asked, slightly pulling away, just enough to make eye contact. Till saw the modest furrow in his eyebrows, because of course Ivan would notice, facing him with genuine concern. It felt reassuring, though something deep inside of him was stirring the void he tried so hard to push away.

Till looked away from Ivan again. "No. Nothing in particular." He breathed out, sounding a little more exhausted than he intended to. Everything just kept coming at him, hitting him like missiles at record speed. On top of that, he absolutely hated the idea of going back to his manor again, already sensing his conversation with Urak upon return. He just wished he could go back to that field. Sketchbook and pen in hand, surrounded by the flowers. That innate calmness, undisturbed and free. Worries carried away with the wind. Just the two of th—

Ivan exhaled softly, pulling Till a little closer towards him, using his other hand to create soothing motions through his hair. Like he had done it a thousand times. And maybe he had. And Till just let him. Maybe just for tonight, or maybe for a thousand times more. Till himself didn't know either. Didn't know what was right. Didn't know how he was supposed to feel. When he came close, he pushed him away. When he was away, he tried to keep him close. Just what was he trying to do? Who did he try to fool?

Till already knew the answer. It was himself.

He had never known what 'love' was. Only the way others perceived it. He just went along with those lines, had some crushes here and there, or at least, that's what he thought they were. But what was love, really? Was it anything he would ever be able to reciprocate? Even though he had never known what it truly was his entire life, because he grew up without it?

In his mind, Till knew there was something wrong with his way of thinking, yet he couldn't pinpoint it. Couldn't raise his finger, take out the bad apple, and happily go on with his life. If only it were that easy. He just hoped that one day, his mind would be clear, just like the sky above that field. When that day would come, he didn't know. If that day would come, he also didn't know. He just hoped it would be soon. That he didn't have to wait for long.

And so, Till let himself be held in Ivan's embrace, not saying a word. Ivan didn't either.

Because he understood.

Chapter Text

Eyes all around, pricking into his skin like deep, poisonous thorns. Gazes of judgement, disapproval, a trial of worth.

That was where Till found himself right this moment. Surrounded by nobles, though not as much as Ivan was, but still, too many for his liking. The air felt suffocating, feeling that if he were to even breathe in the wrong way, he would be looked down upon.

It was not as though the nobles conversing with him were waiting for a chance to tear him down or were trying to find faults and loose screws, it was actually the opposite. Because of his father, they were trying to get on his good side, trying to win his favour (weren't they supposed to act like they didn't know who he was?). None of that worked, however, as Till didn't know any of the people he was talking to, and above that, wasn't interested in anything they were saying in the slightest. The looks in their eyes were uncomfortable enough, chest tightening and palms sweating because of it. Was this what Ivan had to deal with since coming here?

After that... situation at the pavilion, Till's self-consciousness caught up to him, making him scramble away from Ivan at a speed he didn't know he still had in him after that long day, throwing excuses at Ivan that he had to go now to avoid suspicion, and things like that. Till didn't really wait for an answer, but from the corner of his eye, he could see Ivan and his signature smile, standing casually in the middle of the lone space like nothing had passed. Till had picked up his pace after that.

And now, he found himself here, an hour having already flown past. His responses became automatic, pleasing, all in hopes of escape. Whenever he thought he was free, more people came by, keeping him in the same tiring cycle of chatter over and over again. A few times, he caught a glimpse of pink hair on the dance floor or conversing with others. Sua never strayed too far.

As the stars appeared in the cosmic ceiling and Till didn't even process what he was saying anymore, he decided that this would be a good time to call it a night. He didn't care about etiquette anymore, excusing himself from the ongoing conversation. He didn't know what expression the nobles were making right now, his tired eyes fixated on the grand exit atop those stairs.

He broke contact with the oh-so mighty door, trying to lock eyes with the two women he was acquainted with as a sorry excuse for a goodbye. The only eyes he caught were Sua's, lifting one of her eyebrows before faintly raising her hand and turning around again. Mizi was too consumed in... whatever she seemed to be doing right now to notice him.

He made his way to the doors, the servants in care opening them for him upon his approach. Till sighed, stretching his neck with his hand, his posture collapsing as soon as he made the turn. Who was he even acting for? He supposed he should at least act decent to avoid 'punishment' again, but that felt so unlike him. Surely there would be some loopholes here and there, right?

Deep in thought, Till made his way to the entrance of the estate, hoping his carriage was already waiting in front so he would be able to leave immediately. But even then, his night still wasn't done. Probably. He dreaded the arrival to his 'home'. Not in a scared way. Till wasn't scared of a little fucker like Urak. He simply despised the shackles of restraint.

He saw the doors appear before him, the tiny glint in his eyes returning at the thought of being alone for a little while. This peace was greatly disturbed, however, by the feeling of a strong grip tightening on his arm.

Till yelped and tried to resist, his survival instincts blaring sirens inside his head, but a hand was placed in front of his mouth, keeping him quiet, dragging him to the nearest room before closing and locking the door softly after they went in. The room was dark, and Till's wrist hurt. He was sure that that was going to leave a mark.

This whole time, he hadn't been able to see the face of this sudden perpetrator. Who could it be? One of Urak's little lapdogs trying to kidnap him? Were he and Ivan caught? But there wasn't anyone nearby at that time... right?

The unknown person finally let Till free from their grip. Though it was dark, Till immediately began swinging his arms around in hopes of hitting anything, yelling at the same time. "Who the fuck are you!? Who sent you!? Let me the fuck go, or there will be consequences, asshole!" Till screamed, his fists actually hitting something a few times.

Just when Till thought he was about to deliver the finishing blow, the lights turned on, a hand being pressed to his lips once more.

"Quiet! I'm sorry this had to be the way, Till, but please try and work with me here."

Oh. It was Ivan.

Till hushed his voice in an instant, still intent on delivering the final blow. Wham, right on Ivan's shoulder blade. If it weren't Ivan, that blow would've gone straight to the person's face. "Ivan? What the fuck! Don't scare me like that! Why did you do that!?" Till screamed in a whispering voice.

He really didn't want to see Ivan again tonight. His head was too full already, his mind had already reached closure. Just for this evening. All he needed now was to be alone with his thoughts. Others might disagree, but was there anything else to do, really?

And now he was here, alone with Ivan, of all people, inside an empty room. There was a chance someone might've heard them, or rather, him. He sincerely hoped that the music had drowned out his screams.

Ivan stretched his shoulder, yet his face remained the same after taking that hit Till had just delivered. He looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, Till, but I had to. We never agreed on our next meeting, and I didn't know when would be the next time that I'd see you, so I had to make haste... Truly, I'm sorry if I scared you or anything like that. I made sure no one was in the area, I swear." Ivan said, looking like a kicked puppy.

Till's heart clenched with unknown feelings. He wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. "Oh, right, I didn't think that through." His eyes averted to the side, an awkward cough making its way to the surface. "Then, how about three days from now? So we can both have time to... prepare." Surely Ivan thought he meant to prepare his 'artistic inspiration'.

Ivan happily nodded along like a kid being praised. He really was kind of childish despite the mature front he was forced to put up. Till quickly tried to rush the talk about the meeting place, both settling on an intersection somewhere between their two estates. He did not want Ivan to know exactly where he lived. Everything was bound to fail from that point on (though Ivan was the crown prince, so he guessed things were never really hidden for him in the end).

Finally, the room fell silent, nothing left to discuss. Till exhaled in relief, flashing Ivan a small grin as a sign of goodbye, moving his hand to the doorknob behind Ivan, getting ready to leave this place once and for all. His hand was stopped by Ivan, however, gripping his wrist before he could come in contact with the metal.

"Wait a second before you leave." Ivan told him, but Till was wondering why. Weren't they done? Couldn't he leave now? Before he could ask, Ivan gently opened the door, peeking around the corner before fully turning to Till again. His smile was the widest it had been the whole evening, odd tooth hovering over his lower lip.

'Please, Ivan,' Till thought, 'just let me leave. I can't handle any more than this.'

Ivan didn't seem to notice. He always did, so why not now?

Ivan raised his hand, placing it on top of Till's head, and started messing with his hair, moving it from side to side at a fast pace. Unlike his usual, snarky demeanour, Till kept his head down.

"That hairstyle suits you better." Ivan grinned, maybe a little more forced than he did normally. Then, softly, "Good night, Till."

Ivan turned around, disappearing behind the door Till tried to leave through a second ago. He kept staring at the ground, wondering what expression Ivan was making before he left. Actually, scratch that. He shouldn't think about that. All he had to think about now was the road home.

That ride home was, unfortunately, the only rest he was going to get that whole night. Upon arrival, when Till stepped out of the carriage, the same words as last time were awaiting him.

"The duke expects you in his office."

Till sighed, bracing himself for the worst. He wanted to lash out at that bastard so bad, but due to his curricular circumstances, it would be smarter not to. Still, he was Till. Sometimes, he couldn't help it. His mouth was faster than his mind, actions louder than his rationality.

Something within him stirred every time he let someone walk over him. It felt disgusting, dirty, and unjust. He was a person just like the other, so why was it necessary to differentiate?

It would take every fibre within him to stay quiet while talking to Urak. He had to. Just suck it up, ridicule him all you want later, but for now, just deal with it. It was possibly his only hope for a happily ever after. If that kind of ending was even meant for him. Ugh, what was it with those depressing thoughts tonight??

He arrived in front of the prestigious doors that lead to Urak's office. He had been there before, though the outcome wasn't really great at that time. He was keeping his fingers crossed for now, taking a deep breath and bracing himself before knocking on the door.

Again, in the same dark and dusky tone, he heard a voice calling to him. "Come in."

So there Till stood, in that spacious room that felt nothing but suffocating to him. Not a thing had changed in the meantime. Books still scattered around, the reminiscent painting covered up, and the same revolting old man behind that desk.

Till looked him straight in the eyes, telling Urak he wasn't scared of him with it. Because he wasn't. Urak just needed to know that. The eyes he was staring into, though, were full of disinterest that would make one wonder why they were even called upon.

As disinterested as his eyes looked, his voice seemed to mirror the emotion. "So? Any reports worthy of notice? I assume you've learnt from last time." Urak snarled at him, his finger tapping his desk tediously.

It took Till everything within him not to lash out. He dug his nails into his palms behind his back and exhaled slowly, all to try and keep up with this facade. He kept reminding himself that it was just for this small moment. Suck it up for a few minutes. He could do that. The weight kept pressing down onto his shoulders.

"Not really, no. There were some nobles talking to me, presumably trying to get the house on their good side, but I didn't know who they were. The crown prince seemed to be engaging himself in other conversations, so I only got so far as exchanging formalities with him while talking to his cousin, who also said nothing worthy of note." There. He said what Urak wanted to hear. Perfect, right? He could go now, right?

Urak clicked his tongue, the forgotten cigar next to him in the ashtray emitting its last remainder of smoke into the dense air. "Good. Keep talking to those worthless, unknown people of lower blood and keep them satisfied. That way, when the time comes, everything will be easier for us." His eyes averted to the documents piled on his desk, the corner of his mouth forming into a sly grin, just barely.

It was disgusting.

Till kept his gaze fixed on the man in front of him, seeing through him, imagining him invisible. He was almost there. Just a few moments more.

"Next time, get closer to the royal family. We need them to trust us. Need them to trust you. But do not get closer to them any more than necessary. Once they catch on, it's over for us, and definitely for you." He warned, grabbing another cigar and putting it between his lips.

There he went again. Including Till into his plans like it was something he wanted too. The guilt tripping was insane, though Till was pretty much immune to that by now. This had nothing to do with him, after all.

The cigar between Urak's lips was lit, a small puff of smoke escaping his mouth. "As long as you don't seek contact anymore with that wench from last time. Stupid imbecile. Don't make that mistake again, for you have already suffered the consequences once."

Now that was something that really pissed him off.

Whatever Urak said before that was bad enough by itself, but now, Till really had to master that thing called restraint. Urak didn't even know the first thing about Mizi, her light, her warmth, and just threw away everything she was and conveyed with that one single sentence he dared to utter from his filthy mouth. He bit his lip, drawing blood from the inside but paying no mind to it. He was sure his nails were digging some wounds into his hands, but none of that mattered right now. He kept repeating in his head to breathe. One, two, one, two, a steady tempo.

Then, the bomb hit.

"What's that hideous thing you're carrying with you? What maid thought it would be a good idea to put such an unsightly piece of garbage onto the face of a noble?"

Suddenly, Till was back in that old, cramped, mouldy apartment, hidden away in a run-down complex at the edge of the small town he was living in. Around his feet lay broken glass, heaps of trash, and empty cans that were swarming the corner.

The old TV was showing a static screen, distorted noises spilling into Till's ears. Everything was covered in a dark, putrid filter, drowning his being into a pit of decay. The carpet on the floor was tattered, round burn marks disturbing the pattern, matching the asymmetrically detached patches of wallpaper curling down from the walls.

Ah, so he was back here again.

Till looked down, his body smaller than he remembered, his clothes being an unpleasant familiarity. A school uniform, dirty and crumpled.

In front of him stood a shadow, towering over him, too big to pass around. Till's breathing was cut short, and his heart might've as well. A scene he was all too familiar with, something he never wanted to return to. He thought he had broken the cycle, so then why—

The shadow began to speak, his hot, rancid breath meeting Till's face. "What's this? A drawing? What toddler made this?" The shadow held a piece of paper, some drawing etched onto it. From what Till was able to make out, it was an anemone, a single flower depicted largely onto the white surface. It looked realistic, something that would take an artist years to perfect to be able to draw it the way it was drawn onto that singular paper.

Till remembered. It was his drawing.

The shadow took the paper between both hands, ripping it to pieces, shattering his dreams right in front of his eyes. It was one drawing, drawn onto a useless piece of notebook, just one drawing but — it had been the piece he had been proudest of. His masterpiece, something he had been working towards since he was a child.

He had been careless. He had left it lying around the house. And now, he suffered the consequences. An unsolved puzzle of his dreams collecting itself in front of his feet.

The shadow did nothing but laugh. Spit landed on his face, but Till paid no mind to it. He fell to his knees, carefully grabbing everything that was left discarded. Ridiculed and kicked down, he didn't stop until every piece was safe in his hands.

He got up and ran away. The screams and laughter had long since faded away, his legs not halting for even a second. He ran like he had never before, hands clutching tightly together like he was carrying his very own heart.

In the distance, he could see a sight of green expanding further and further, knowing he was nearby his place of refuge.

He blinked once, refreshing his dry eyes while feeling something warm roll over his cheek, breaking his trance.

He wasn't in that town anymore. He was in a completely different place. In a completely different world, even.

He thought he had escaped, so why?

His expression was pained, his furrowed eyebrows leaving him with a headache, the sudden change of scenery making him choke on the dense, thick air. As if a cold gust of wind had hit him, his mind was brought back to the present.

His eyes were still on Urak, though the height felt off. For the first time since he came into the office, he broke eye contact to look at the state he was in. He sat on the floor, on his knees, hands balled into fists. How pathetic.

Urak put his half-used cigar down in the ashtray to die out, letting out one last, slow sigh of smoke. "Get the hell out of my sight." He grunted in a low voice, disappointment dripping down from its core.

Now, it was not that Till was worried about that disappointment. Hell, he couldn't care less if it stemmed from Urak. It was the sheer fact that Urak saw him in this pitiful, wretched state. He was supposed to act, he was supposed to oppose, not stand in front of him like a loser, not like the child he had once been. Urak was looking down on him, ridiculing him, all with that simple look in his eyes. One Till was used to.

He was dragged by both arms again, tugging him out of the room by force. But he wouldn't go down without a fight. He had to do something, anything—and then the doors closed.

He held his breath until he was thrown onto the cold marble floor. He gripped his shoulder tight after landing on it harshly. In front of him lay his mask — discarded, broken, tarnished.

The guards that dragged him out looked at him from above, waiting for him to scram, carrying out their orders. The broken mask was piled in front of them, right in the centre between Till and the two men.

This time, Till didn't pick up the abandoned pieces. He stood up, ignoring the aching pain in his shoulder, and walked away with grace. Like nothing had happened, like he was still the person he had been. He probably still was.

He just had to pick up his own pieces first.

His surroundings were dark and cramped, but it was something he was used to when hiding. He was sitting inside of his closet, propped away between the overly luxurious pieces of clothing hung up on the hangers.

He wasn't particularly sad or anything, he just sought... comfort, or something of the sort.

He was so lost. Everything that was happening with Ivan, his fear of losing him again, the confusion stirring within him — he didn't know the solution to any of them. He kept avoiding everything, over and over again, until it wasn't bearable anymore. And he had just reached that point.

Every conversation he held, every time he looked into another person's eyes, he felt the urge to run away. He knew he had to face it, but... He was just so afraid of everything changing. Everything he had ever known. Though most of it wasn't pleasant, he knew how to deal with it. He wouldn't have to confront unknown situations with consequences out of his league.

Everything had changed already, and Till barely managed to hang onto that. Now that the world he was living in had changed, was he supposed to change, too? The way he felt? The way he thought?

He knew Ivan liked him.

And... maybe he liked Ivan too.

Ivan, the person Till knew everything about. The person who had always stayed by his side. Who always took his side. Comforted him. Argued with him. Encouraged him. Gave him strength when there was no one to do so. Loved him.

But that was the scary thing. If Till came to love him and acted upon his selfish feelings, what would happen if things didn't turn out the way he wanted them to? If his perception of Ivan would change? There weren't many things in life Till was sure of. However, there was one thing that never changed. Ivan.

Ivan had been with him since the beginning. He knew him through and through. It was the sole reason he could still stand with his two feet on the ground. If that Ivan, the Ivan who got him through all that shit, were to change, his view of the world would collapse, and maybe he would too.

He couldn't bear to lose that. To lose what they had. He didn't know what was more selfish. Loving Ivan, or denying those feelings. Both were two sides of the same coin, a coin thrown into a trap with no return.

And then there was that thing called 'love'. How would he ever be able to act upon that if he didn't know what it was? Had he ever in his life received anything like it? His father surely didn't show him an ounce of love. Maybe his mother did, but that kind of love... It was different. It felt distant. It had been too long ago. She left him in the end, didn't she?

So he had to keep avoiding it. Keep those thoughts hidden away, preventing them from reaching the surface. It was the only way to survive.

In the end, he always ran. And he knew Ivan would run along with him.

Midnight. His bed. His sketchbook. His pencil. Those things were involved in an unpleasant similarity.

He was lying in bed, a thing called sleep long forgotten. His sketchbook was balancing on his knees, pencil twisting quickly between his fingers.

He was meeting Ivan in approximately twelve hours, and his brain juices had given up on him. He was supposed to create a masterpiece onto a clean slate today, yet his art block had all but ceased to exist. His mind was blank (in all honesty, it was full. Too full. It kept drifting off).

The page in front of him had a few scribbles. They all represented some humanoid figure, but before Till could finish it, he scratched through it all. Why was he drawing people anyway? Didn't he want to create flowers? Bring them into full bloom with just a stroke of his brush?

He scraped his scalp using his pencil, sending a shiver down his spine. Right, maybe this was a good time to stop. He wasn't going anywhere with this. Maybe it would be best to let his artistic inspiration possess him tomorrow. Surely that would work. It seemed like something legit.

Till threw his supplies onto the ground, a little frustrated by this whole ordeal bothering him in the middle of the night. It was not like he was a person that slept a lot, he just wanted to get some rest. To drift off, give himself some peace and quiet. It seemed that even that had been too much to ask of.

Till sighed and rubbed the deep, dark circles under his eyes before conquering the bright sunlight shining on his face, not granting him any mercy in its luminosity. He stood beside Sparkles, patting her neck a few times before starting to braid her mane out of boredom. He grasped the strap of the bag hanging around his shoulder. Ivan was sure taking his sweet time, huh?

He had the damn nerve to take away his time, to occupy his mind—no. What was he saying? Ivan definitely didn't do anything like that to him.

Why would he even think like that?

In the distance, Till could hear a series of continuously defining thumps, their sounds growing louder by the second. He looked in the direction where it came from, to be met with his current concern. Ivan.

He was enthusiastically waving his hand towards Till, but it was actually something else that had caught Till's eye. Not Ivan himself, but the massive object that seemed to be tied to his torso.

When Ivan mentioned he would take a canvas with him, Till didn't expect him to take the biggest one with him. He assumed Ivan would save that one for a time more convenient than now. He definitely didn't expect him to take the largest canvas Till purchased with him from the get-go, especially at a meeting rather far from their home. How, in his right mind, did Ivan think that this was a smart idea?

When the distance between them was closed, Ivan hopped off his horse with ease, which was surprising, because his body had expanded to twice its size. He held the reins in one hand, patting Sparkles with his other. "Till! It's great to see you and Sparkles!" It sounded like he wanted to laugh. Bastard. "Are you ready to go on our date?" He said with an effortless smile, not acting like he had said anything questionable just now.

Twitch.

Till clenched his jaw. "Our—What!? Okay, fuck off." He reacted as always, nothing out of the ordinary. The normal, usual, composed Till would answer this way. He got onto Sparkles, brushing out the failed braids as he nudged her to start moving forward.

Ivan seemed to only get more amusement from their interaction, hopping on his horse and scurrying to ride beside him. "So? Anything you want to talk about today?" Ivan asked, and though he normally appeared annoyingly handsome, that big-ass canvas behind him really served as a cockblock. He looked ridiculous, to be frank. Served him right.

Till slowly glanced to the side before bringing his eyes back to the road. "Nope." He gave the 'p' a popping sound.

Ivan's grin grew, shaking his entire body as if getting ready for something. "Okay, I'll race you then." Till could just barely hear the last part of what he said, as Ivan and his horse began bolting away as soon as the declaration was made. Ivan, that little— He knew Till was a sore loser. He just couldn't stand idly by if Ivan dared to challenge him to a race.

Till cracked his fingers and gave Sparkles another nudge, speeding up and chasing the prince, who was long gone by now.

They were both lying on the ground, sprawled out on their backs, heavily panting after that harsh exercise for God knows why. Ivan's giggles escaped in between his breathing, his hair a mess. Not even one lock of hair looked like it belonged in the place it was in, and there were leaves and small pieces of wood tangled everywhere. Till probably didn't look any better.

They were in a forest. After Ivan's sudden announcement, he galloped into the forest, not minding the path laid out before him, cutting corners and passing through random places however he desired. Till, of course, followed his shadow, actually losing him a few times before almost catching up. Almost. Because Ivan, that fucker, had taken a racehorse with him.

There wasn't even an official finish, and yet, when they reached an open place in the middle of the woods, Ivan declared the race as over and took the victory all upon himself. He took the canvas, which was still tied fast around him, off his back and tied the reins to a nearby tree. Ten seconds later, when Till arrived, he did the same. When Till was done, they fell onto the ground, perfectly in sync.

Now the annoying part came to bid. Ivan knew Till was a sore loser and always tried his hardest to make the fact that Till lost known. "Guess you aren't the best in horseback riding after all, huh~" Ivan sang, and though Till was staring straight at the sky, he knew Ivan's stupid grin was pointed at him if he turned his head sideways. Till was adamant on ignoring him.

"Till~" Ivan's voice was coming closer. "It's okay~ You can't win every time, you know? I'll let you take the victory next time~" He started poking Till's cheek, after which Till instantly stood up and walked over to the other side. Ivan propped himself up onto his elbows, his eyes following Till's every movement.

Create an appropriate distance.

"Fuck off!" Till scoffed as he put his middle finger up towards Ivan. He avoided eye contact. "This race was unfair anyway. Next time, you won't stand a chance. And don't go fucking easy on me. We both know damn well I'm able to beat you even if you're competing with everything you've got." Till said as he brushed his hands through his hair, trying to get all the dirty bits out. 

Suddenly, Ivan stood behind him. Till didn't notice, too focused on avoiding the other that he didn't even detect him moving so close. Till visibly shook out of shock, though Ivan paid that no mind and started threading his hands through Till's silver hair, carefully getting everything out, treating it with caution.

Till sighed, waiting for Ivan to finish. There wasn't any reason to lash out. He was just helping Till out. After Ivan was done, Till shook his head, letting all the locks fall into their rightful place again. "Come on, now it's your turn." Till sounded defeated, staring at a bird flying into its nest in a tree beside them. Finally, after a moment, he reluctantly moved his eyes onto Ivan's hair.

Till moved his hands towards Ivan but was stopped right before he could reach him by none other than Ivan himself. He grasped his wrists, placing his chin on top of Till's hands. "Are you really that mad about losing that you refuse to look me in the eyes? I'm sorry, Till. I'll play fair from now on, okay?" He pleaded, looking like that one fuckass emoji.

Till bit his lower lip. This was proving to be more difficult than he thought. Wait, what was? What was he talking about?

He blew air into Ivan's face, drying out his eyes, making Ivan squint. While Ivan was trying to regain his vision, Till looked at him for only a second. "There. Happy? Now tilt your head towards me and let me help you." Ivan did as Till told and tilted his head slightly, revealing his messed-up hair. Ha, Till could only imagine the look on his face right now.

After half a minute, Till got distracted in his own thoughts, threading his hands through Ivan's hair for a few minutes in complete silence as a result. He had gotten everything out by now, at this point he was absentmindedly using his hands as a comb, or more specifically, some sort of massager.

"Till... Are you done...?" Ivan asked quietly, almost shy, snapping Till out of his thoughts. What was he doing again? He looked at his hands, tangled in Ivan's hair, and quickly retreated them to line them up next to his body.

Ivan slowly turned around, hands covering the lower half of his face. Hang on a second, was this bastard... flustered? It was barely noticeable, but Till could see a faint shade of pink on Ivan's cheeks peeking through his fingers.

Oh. Right. The lump in Till's throat grew, attempting to slowly move his foot backwards.

Retreat. Run away. 

He stepped backwards, slowly, meticulously. His breathing sped up, his heart beating an uncomfortable rhythm against his ribcage. Ivan kept quiet, uncharacteristically so. They both weren't acting like themselves. Unpredictable.

Avoid. Ignore. Run away.

When Till had turned around, facing the unknown woods, he felt a pair of hands on his wrist again, the culprit remaining the same. "T-the canvas! We came here for you to paint, remember?" Ivan pointed towards the big canvas leaning against a tall tree. He guided Till with him towards it, not letting go of his grip.

Till nodded, regaining his composure. Get it together. He let the canvas rest against the tree, sitting in front of it, tugging the bag off his shoulder and emptying the insides by holding it upside down. He was a bit hazy, but he should be able to manage. He hoped.

Ivan sat down next to him, his expression resembling that of a kid in a candy store. His eyes sparkled, creases next to his eyes deepening. Every time Ivan felt excited, enthusiastic, enthralled, or whatever emotion of the sort, his deep, scarlet pupils dilated. This time, too, it happened, pulling Till in, welcoming them into their world.

Instead of looking at the canvas, Till looked at Ivan beside him. There were so many sides of him, sides only Till knew of. He was proud of that. Proud and scared. Terrified that someone else found out about those. That he wasn't special anymore.

"Till? Are you going to start? Do you need some time?" Ivan asked, his tone of voice pitched slightly higher. He asked politely, more so than his the way he usually spoke, though Till knew it wasn't a request, it was more like nagging. He wanted Till to start and had probably looked forward to it since the night of the banquet. How in the hell did he manage to complete all his princely duties with a personality like that?? If he even did them in the first place. Till had never asked him about anything like that. Maybe he should...?

Till pinched himself, forcing himself to leave his mind and stay in the present. "I don't know. Kinda have art block." He admitted. It wasn't a lie. It was only the consequence of an undisclosed cause.

Ivan kept staring at him. Studying him. Cutting him open and revealing everything inside of him with his very own eyes. "I know you can do it, Till. I've seen you do it countless times. I believe in you. You're not going to start doubting yourself now, are you?" He asked, fully convinced by his own words, grabbing Till's shoulder as a sign of reassurance.

Ivan, that selfish fuck. Though truthfully, those words calmed him down a bit. Just a bit. He grabbed some of his supplies, digging through his mind for ideas. His body seemed to move on autopilot, creating something out of instinct.

For someone who had continuously praised Till's art, Ivan had suspiciously not even looked at the canvas once since Till had started. His eyes had not once left Till, absorbing every expression Till made, every crease, every movement, everything.

"You know," Ivan started after a while of silence, "did something happen to your arm? Or your shoulder, maybe? Your movement differs by a three-degree angle." Did this fucker grow a monocle out of his head or something?

"Ivan." Till snarled. "The canvas is in front of me, not on me. You're imagining things." He said without moving his eyes away from the, for now, white object in front of him.

Ivan blinked a few times, probably out of suspicion. Did he think he was being slick? "Discussable." He murmured. Till was sure he heard it, though. Luckily, it had worked, Ivan's eyes finally prying away from him. For thirty seconds. Before the whole cycle started over again.

Till sighed, continuing to create his piece, something he hadn't been able to at home. He was so easily swayed by a few kind words. From him, at that.

There was newfound inspiration blooming inside of him. Between those blooming buds began to grow a few small, insignificant weeds. Those were probably unimportant. Because what was there to be worried about?

Right. Nothing.

Chapter Text

His eyes were prickling, tears forming in their corners, redness surrounding his irises. The skin around the abused area was puffing up, another shade of red applying itself onto his face.

Because that fucker Ivan blew fucking dust into his eyes.

They were sitting in a small library in a secluded town, a small distance from the capital. It was a bit tricky to get there, but with the simple excuse 'to expand knowledge', one could get far, even if it was uncharacteristic. How could something be out of character if the questioned didn't know anything about the questioner in the first place?

It had been a while since their last meeting, when they had met up so that Till would be able to paint on a canvas for the first time. Whenever they could, they did the same thing, agreeing on a time and place to see each other. Ivan would bring a canvas, Till his supplies. The latter would get to work, while the former would stare at the other and his creation the entire time.

The library they were in right now wasn't as grand as the one Ivan owned inside the palace, but for a secret rendezvous like this, it was perfect. There were a few empty tables surrounding them, only they and the librarian present at the moment. He didn't even bother to warn them about their volume since they were the only ones there anyway.

Back to the matter at hand. They had just returned to their seats after making several rounds along the shelves, grabbing what they were interested in as they passed by. Eventually, Till's hands got too full, so he shoved a few books into Ivan's hands.

Apparently, the books Till was interested in hadn't been used in a long time. Ivan took advantage of that, and voilà, the blowing-dust-into-his-eyes-thing happened. And now Till sat there with hurting eyes, tears running down his face, rubbing the sensitive skin in hopes of getting all the dust out.

He sniffled. "Why did you think that that was a good idea!?" Till groaned as the last tear fell onto his lap. Ivan grabbed Till's head on both sides, rubbing his eyes with his thumbs, soothing, careful. Till shuddered under the sensation. He slapped Ivan's hands away. "Don't think that that will make up for it." Till mumbled, averting his eyes to the pile of books he had collected.

Please don't touch me like that.

Ivan grinned, though he looked genuinely apologetic. He probably didn't expect the outcome to be so severe. He slowly retreated his hands back, although hesitant. "Sorry for making you cry, Till." He said with a pout. "You can do it to me too. Here, I'm ready." Ivan said with a straight face, bringing himself closer to Till, eyes wide open.

"As if!" Till pushed Ivan's face away from him with his hands. "Do what we came here to do. Grab your stupid classical literature book and start reading, dimwit." Till said as he reached out to a book, his book, that Ivan just blew all that dust off. 'The summer the gracious northern duke invited me over to his winterous, barren grounds to have tea together, which led to numerous other meetings'. Perfect.

After a while of reading, which Till had really enjoyed so far, it appeared that Ivan had started to get bored. He began kicking Till softly with his foot under the table, kicking a little harder every time Till ignored him. It took Till a lot of restraint not to grab Ivan by the throat. Actually, it took him too much restraint. He caved in. Though not as violent as he had suggested. Probably. He kicked Ivan back once, harder than Ivan had kicked him up until now. "What? Can't you see I'm busy?" Till raised his voice, though hushed. He was still in a library, after all.

"Wat'cha rea~ding?" Ivan asked innocently, like he didn't annoy Till to no end literally a few seconds ago. He looked at Till expectantly, attentive. Books like these were far from Ivan's normal area of expertise, why was he showing that much interest?

Till clicked his tongue, secretly not disliking the interest in his hobby. He shoved the book over to Ivan's side, putting a marker in between the pages where he had left off. "If you want to read the summary, it's on the back. I'm not explaining all that shit to you." Till said with a slight mumble, grabbing the book Ivan was reading and flipping through the pages. If Ivan was reading his book, he would read Ivan's in return.

Ivan gladly took the book from him, reading bits and pieces throughout the pages, actually looking engrossed with the story, letting out satisfied noises from time to time. Till's eyebrow perched up just a little, but he supposed he should be glad his friend started to get into his hobby. No, scratch that. He'd just irritate and tease him.

After a minute or five, it was Till's turn to get bored, almost falling asleep after reading something as boring as that. He did not understand the world behind classical literature. Just tedious words placed after another, trying to sound rich and authentic, when the story most of the time didn't even make sense or was just plain odd.

He started kicking Ivan's chair repeatedly, using the same strategy as Ivan. It worked quicker than it did when Ivan used it. He lovingly turned his head towards Till, awaiting his every word. His eyes glistened, full of affection. Even an idiot would notice that.

Stay an idiot.

"I'm done with your stupid book, give me back mine now." Till commanded, holding out his hand, empty space waiting to be filled. Ivan seemed to be hesitating, looking at Till's hand for a while before switching his gaze onto his face. "Well? What's the hold up? Hurry it up." Till said, motioning his hands in a way that said, 'Give it to me'.

Without saying anything, Ivan handed him the book. Just when Till wanted to be nice and say 'thank you', Ivan yanked his bookmark out of its place with a foul grin.

"Ivan—!"

Another tedious night in his room. Till was sitting at his desk, his sketchbook in front of him, and a book he took with him from the library next to him. He couldn't decide on what to do, so he ended up doing both at the same time. It didn't work out so well though, as he kept switching between the two, limiting his attention span.

Amidst his indecisiveness, he heard something tick onto his window in irregular intervals. Was he going crazy...? His room was on the second floor. How could something keep clashing against his window? Was it a bird?

Annoyed by the repeated noise, he got up, walking over to the window to open the curtains he had closed earlier. There was nothing there, only a dark sky staring back at him, a few stars glistening above. Maybe he really was going crazy. 

He returned to his seat, picking up his pencil again to start wiggling it between his thumb and index finger, a habit he discovered he had whenever he had trouble deciding between things. His thinking continued, but unfortunately, so did the mysterious sound.

Till slammed his pencil onto his desk, an irritated grunt escaping his mouth. He got up again, walking straight to the window, but instead of just looking through it, this time, he opened it, sticking his head out to conduct further inspection. What he saw then shook him to the core.

There stood Ivan, happily and grandly waving his arm towards Till from two floors down, pebbles stored in his other hand. Till instantly took a step back from shock, heart pounding in his ears. He rubbed his eyes a few times. Did he see that right?

No, no— what was Ivan doing there? Sure, he was stupid — but not that stupid. He had some decency in him. He was a logical man. Smart even, though Till hated to admit that usually. Did his brain get lost in the reincarnation? How, in his right mind, was this supposed to work out to benefit them both!?

"...Till...!" He heard Ivan yell in a whispering tone, just loud enough for Till to hear. He heard it, yet he still stood frozen in front of that window. If he did nothing, Ivan would just remain there. That couldn't end well. He had to do something. Did he conveniently have a brick in his room to throw down?

Till reluctantly moved to the window, slowly sticking his head outside to double-check. Ivan was still there. Great. Amazing. And what was that behind him? Oh! It was Eduardo's insanely long ladder! How delightful!

Till tried his best to look annoyed, furrowing his eyebrows the deepest he could, putting an emphasis on every word he spoke. "What the fuck are you doing here!?" He managed to scream while whispering, not wanting to make the situation any worse than it already was. "Go back home!"

Ivan bent down to drop the pebbles onto the ground, moving his arms forward in a calming motion. "Till, don't worry, it's all right." He said softly, apologetically. Yeah, right. Everything was all right. The fact that he fucked everything up was completely all right.

It seemed that Ivan could read the severely doubtful look on Till's face, hence, he explained his actions further. "I talked to Eduardo earlier, he would communicate with the people inside to close all the curtains and to distract the servants working at this side of the house. Trust me, it's safe. I would never do that to you." He professed, any gleeful spark on his face disappearing completely, seriousness replacing it. He really meant it.

Till swallowed. There was nothing not to believe, but it all seemed too good to be true. Before Till could say anything back to Ivan, to decline his invitation or to accept it, Ivan lined up the ladder to Till's window, waiting for him to climb down. Till stared at him for a second in silence, thinking, debating, before retreating back into his room.

Of course, he had to change. Something more suitable for going outside. He grabbed the first thing he saw that looked passable, pairing it with his nostalgic cloak. He didn't really pay attention to Ivan's appearance just now, but the cloak he was wearing definitely stood out to Till. The best thing would be to blend in, he supposed.

He walked back to the window, and of course, Ivan was still waiting there. Of course he wouldn't leave. Till stared at him for a few seconds again, asking if it was really okay, without saying any words. Ivan would get what he meant. And so, Ivan responded with two enthusiastic thumbs up.

Till looked down at the height before he finally climbed down, almost slipping at some point, resulting in Ivan hurrying to the bottom of the ladder, holding his arms up. Till moved to kick him, yet he was still too far up to actually reach him. Eventually, he made it down safely, standing eye-to-eye with the culprit of his descent.

Without any greeting, any well wishes, or anything at all, Ivan grabbed his hand and started rushing towards the direction of the stables.

Let go.

They didn't stop running until they reached their destination, waiting a moment before going in so Till could catch his breath. Ivan's pace was unmatched. Till leaned against the outer wall of the stables, running his hand through his hair. "Sorry, I really didn't want to rush you, but we almost ran out of time." Ivan said, hand still in Till's.

Till quickly retreated his hand. Why did he leave out such an important detail!? He would've changed his clothes faster if that was the case, though Till's brain was totally fried at that moment. It still was. It began cooling off, though.

First and foremost, he definitely didn't agree with anything Ivan was doing right now. It was too dangerous, bold, risky — there was a very high chance of them getting caught. But something inside him tinged a little. Ivan did go out of his way for him, very much so, so...—

Ivan suddenly took a piece of Till's cloak into his hand after some time had passed, dragging him along with him into the stables. Till almost stumbled because of that unforeseen act, opening his mouth to cuss him out, when abruptly, he was standing face-to-face with Eduardo.

Expecting to get an earful from him, Till quickly switched his mood and braced himself for impact, however, it seemed that such precautions were unnecessary, as Eduardo had been awaiting them with the biggest grin on his face Till had seen from him thus far. He felt himself growing uneasy at the sight.

"There you two are, I was starting to get worried." Eduardo said, eyes drifting off to where Ivan was grabbing Till's cloak. "Why didn't you tell me the lad was such a fine young man, Sir Till? I would've tried a bit harder if I had known that was the case." He barked a laugh, his gaze switching to Till, though not returned.

Till didn't know whether to be embarrassed, angry, or touched. Maybe he felt them all at once, or maybe he felt neither of the three. Strange. He always was full of emotions. Why did he have so many doubts now?

He decided to laugh it off. "I already told you about him. Besides, if you knew him like I did, you wouldn't be smiling like that right now. That guy has you wrapped around his finger, it seems." He looked over to Ivan next to him, who was elbowing his side. Till flinched, clutching it. "Ow!"  He yelped, but the audience didn't think of him as a victim. They both laughed, lifting the heavy air somewhat.

Till saw something flashing in Eduardo's eyes, something proud, maybe. "As much as I'd love to catch up, it'd be best for you two to get going now. I already saddled up Sparkles, so she is ready to go whenever." Eduardo gestured towards Sparkles, who was standing a few meters behind him in all her glory. Next to her was another horse, probably Ivan's.

Ivan tugged on Till's cloak that he hadn't let go of since they had entered the building. "Thank you, Eduardo! I promise to chat with you more next time. Sorry for all the inconveniences tonight." Ivan said, walking past Eduardo towards the horses. While passing, Eduardo pressed his hand onto Ivan's shoulder, a comforting but quiet motion.

Till coughed. "Slimeball." Though it seemed that that had landed on deaf ears.

They mounted their assigned horses, Ivan leading in front like he owned the place. After waving Eduardo goodbye, they made their way to the back passage, safely making it out of the noble's grounds. Ivan knew his way around suspiciously well.

The way to the main road remained silent, both of them not wanting to draw any unwanted attention onto them. Once far away enough, Ivan opened his mouth, and it didn't seem like he was in the mood to close it anytime soon.

Their meaningless conversation about fries being a vegetable came to a sudden halt when Till suddenly intervened with a burning question that had been on his mind ever since he saw the first few dark strands of Ivan's hair peeking at him from below. "How did you even know where I lived? Did you go through records at the palace? Or did you ask someone on the way?" Till asked, genuinely wondering. Though it was Ivan he was talking about, and he was used to Ivan's unorthodox methods, something at the back of his head kept itching, gnawing.

Through his cool demeanour, Till could catch Ivan flinching slightly at the question. It was still too early to assume whether it was because he got 'caught' or because Till suddenly brought up the topic out of nowhere. "Yeah, something like that. You should really be more aware of your surroundings, Till." He spoke a bit more incoherently compared to their previous conversation. He was one step ahead of Till, turning his head around to look at him in the eyes before answering.

Till raised an eyebrow, picking up his pace just a little to reach Ivan. "What do you mean? Don't talk in cryptics—" Then, it clicked.

"You followed me last time, didn't you!?"

Ivan turned his head a full ninety degrees, trying to maintain a serious expression, but the way the corner of his lip started twitching gave it all away. "I have no idea what you're talking about." Till opened his mouth, not sure of what to say yet, but definitely wanting to bestow Ivan his piece of mind. Ivan had unfortunately picked up on that, nudging his horse in response and galloping away again.

"Not again—!" Till yelled after him, also speeding up, though still never quite reaching him. He wanted to chew Ivan out, let him know exactly what was on his mind, but when he tried to come up with anything, his mind became blank. Yes, the following was wrong, but also, it was Ivan. Not like that clarified anything.

He should still consult him about his feelings. His feelings that were... Oh. His feelings. His totally neutral feelings. As Till was going on and on inside his mind about... well, if you boil it down, nothing, his body stopped on autopilot, right next to where Ivan did, already dismounted and waiting.

When Till regained his wits, what stood before him made him halt his breath momentarily, senses richly nourished by something unseen before.

He slowly got off Sparkles, eyes not leaving the festivities in front of him. A bustling crowd, merchants screaming from the top of their lungs, ambient lighting irradiating the plaza like it was the middle of the day, people dancing, laughing, and eating together, watching a play at the main stage all the way at the front.

Ivan had brought him to a night market.

Till stood speechless in his boots. It was a scene he had only read about before, something only visualised through dreams and wild imagination. And now it was here, right in front of him, even better than anything he could have ever envisioned. The warmth of the crowd combined with the stalls and the comforting smell of freshly made food making its way towards him. It felt like he was on cloud nine, like all that reading had finally paid off, even if it was just for a little. Even if it was just for one night.

He hadn't been paying attention to Ivan, who stood next to him. He had moved closer to Till in the time he had been mesmerised, putting on the other's hood carefully, trying not to bother him. He gasped faintly when Till suddenly turned to him, hands still holding onto the sides of the cloth. "You... you really brought me here?" Till uttered in disbelief. The fact that it really existed hadn't even crossed his mind, yet Ivan had already been one step ahead.

Their previous banter had faded into the comfortable atmosphere of the market, mood completely switched after the change of setting. Ivan nodded, eyes never wavering. He hadn't even looked at the market once. "Especially for you." He smiled, a pale shade of pink gathering on his cheeks. Was the market emitting such heat? Ivan slowly lowered his hands until he got hold of Till's.

Let go.

Till swallowed, but he didn't want to spoil the mood on such a night full of exhilaration. No, why would he spoil the mood? What would cause that?

Ivan dragged him along with him, diving into the mass of people and blending in. There was a lot for the eyes to feast on. Vendors selling foods they had never seen nor tasted before, stalls involving games in order to win prizes, though most of them were probably a scam. The seating area was far up ahead, a makeshift theatre completing the route with a classic play containing regular civilians as its actors.

In awe, Till kept taking in his surroundings, intrigued by every little thing, every little interaction unfolding in front of him. What he didn't notice, however, was the group of people in front of him growing in size, and it was getting harder and harder to make their way through the crowd.

Due to Till's inattention, he almost bumped into a group of people standing still, taking up half of the road. Just before he smashed into them, Ivan grabbed him by the shoulder, now waking Till up from wherever his mind had taken him, and pressed him tightly against him, aligning their bodies sideways.

Ivan, the nonchalant king he was, kept looking straight ahead of him, treating it like an everyday occurence. Till pinched Ivan's stomach with his free hand through the fabric of his clothes, forcing Ivan to let go of him to rub over the sore spot. "Hey!" Ivan exclaimed, looking at the culprit. "I saved you, you know." He tried to sound offended, but an amused tone had made its way to the surface, resulting in Till reaching up to pinch his cheek like a grandma would to her grandson. He snickered, letting out the air through his nose.

Avoid contact.

Till quickly retreated his hand, the one grasped in Ivan's too, to clasp his own together behind his back. Ivan's gaze seemed to linger a little longer on him than usual before turning back to the road again. Once the path got less crowded, they created a little more distance between them. Or, more specifically, Till did.

They passed a few stalls, stopping by to take a look at the goods they offered before walking over to the next and so forth. Till's eyes landed on a set of customisable engraved paintbrushes, but he quickly left after reminding himself he got perfectly fine ones at home.

The next thing that caught their attention was a booth involving a classic funfair game where you had to throw balls at a stack of empty milk bottles in order to knock all of them over. Till moved to walk further, obviously not falling for such a scam, but Ivan held him back. "Come on, let's try it!" He said excitedly, not doubting his own capabilities, apparently. Till reluctantly agreed, dragging his feet over to the stall. If it was just Ivan who was going to try, then fine. What was the harm?

The harm, unfortunately, was that Till had to go first. Ivan pushed three balls into his hands, giving him an expectant look. "Win something for me, darling." Ivan said with full confidence, imitating a flustered schoolgirl. Gross. Till shuddered at the sight.

With only a click of his tongue, he turned to face the bottles, angling his arm for perfect aim. He threw once, knocking off four out of eight bottles. Well, that was going steady. Maybe it wasn't a scam after all.

The second time he threw the ball, he hit another two bottles. Ivan bowed down a little, now at the same height as Till, his face too close for his liking.

For his last throw, Till summoned all the inner peace residing within him, becoming a blade of grass on a still creek. Unmoving, hyperfocused, and determined to reach his goal. He aimed, threw as hard as he could, and... missed.

See? What a scam.

He turned around, walking away from his embarrassment, when a loud, clinking sound behind him caught his attention. He turned around again, facing his original direction, only to discover Ivan standing there, two balls remaining in his hand, the tower in front of him fully dismantled. Who would've guessed?

He ran over to Till, in his arms a fluffy plushie made out of a soft material. It was a black bunny with drooping ears and a satisfied expression on its face, the look tied together with a red bow around its neck. Ivan stretched his arms towards Till, presenting the plush to him. "Here." Ivan said, almost shoving it into Till's hands, already aware of the fact that the other wouldn't accept it so easily otherwise.

Take it back.

So there Till stood, plush in his arms, an embarrassing experience gained. He held the bunny up next to Ivan's face. "It kind of looks like you." Till said absentmindedly, Ivan moving his face closer to the plush, now touching cheeks with it.

"Do I?" He asked with a smirk, and Till immediately retreated it back close to him. "We can't have that now, can we... You've got the real deal right here, after all." Ivan said with malicious intent. He surely didn't want to get rid of a plush of all things, right...?

Till placed the bunny under his arm, keeping it safe there. Though a bit unwanted, and even though it was a plush, it didn't deserve unfair treatment. Maybe he should keep hold of it after all. Only for the reason of safekeeping.

Till was enjoying himself greatly, appreciating everything the market had to offer on this very fine night. It was magical, to experience something you thought you would only be able to dream, read, or fantasise about. It didn't even feel real, like he was living in a haze. But then, when he looked next to him and Ivan was there, he got pulled back into reality. All of this is real. All of the good things, and even the bad, they were real. He was here with him. Were his own feelings real? Were they true to his heart?

No, stop. Don't think. Live in the moment, not in your heart.

They had been walking over the market for about two hours, hopping from stall to stall, desperate not to miss anything that could possibly blow them away. That spent energy came with a price, both of them not opposed to taking a break to have a small feast to themselves.

They stopped at a vendor selling skewers, choosing a stall with not too many people around it. They still had to stay inconspicuous, mainly because Ivan was the actual crown prince. An easily forgettable fact, but it was actually quite consequential in a public place like this.

After paying and receiving their food, they sat on two stools in front of the stall, letting the skewers cool off for a moment before doing their tasting. In all honesty, it wasn't anything all that special. Plain meat and vegetables with only the necessary spices, but it felt like home.

In this new world, the only things they got to eat were expensive, well-put together meals, only reserved for the rich and noble. But still, they were college students at heart, living by with cafeteria food, cheap convenience store meals, and sometimes, when there was enough money left, an occasional outing. He knew Ivan definitely had enough money to live financially stable, but he also knew Ivan wanted to be independent, to rely on his own strength. He understood that, greatly even. And so, they suffered through their scarce days together, trying out all sorts of new recipes while counting the pennies that they had left.

So this meal, as meaningless as it may seem, brought them back to those comfortable days. Days of laughter, solace, hope, disappointment, hard work, and so much more. Those memories stuck to them and would never let go, even if their situation had changed for better or worse.

"Hold on, Till." Ivan interrupted the silence, putting his empty stick down onto the napkin in front of him. "You have something on your cheek." Till flushed a little, mouth still full of paprika, bringing his hand up to his face to brush it off.

That was his plan, before Ivan had beat him to it and did it for him, thumb swiping across his cheek. Till felt the sensation on his skin, the sticky sauce leaving his face and being transferred to Ivan. Till paused all his movements, even chewing, staring at Ivan with his eyes wide.

If that wasn't bad enough, Ivan had the audacity to lick the sauce off his thumb. Till was sure his heart would stop right there and then. Only incoherent noises left his throat, while Ivan kept smirking at him like he had finally beaten his most rivalling opponent.

"What is happening here..." A voice beside them spoke, startling Ivan and Till both out of their shared bubble, turning their heads in sync.

Mizi and Sua were standing next to their table, both dressed in hoods like the men were, arms filled with bags full of newly bought items. Sua looked disgusted, mainly at Ivan, while Mizi looked like she was trying her best not to squeal, hands clasped in front of her mouth. Their arms were looped together, or rather, glued together.

Till quickly swallowed his leftover food, a bit too fast, coughing afterwards. "W-what are you guys doing here?" The words stumbled out of his mouth, shock after shock slowly paralysing his senses.

Mizi laughed, and even Sua wasn't able to contain her laughter, a small chuckle escaping her usually unmoving lips. "What does it look like we're doing? Enjoying the market, of course!" Mizi said in a joyous voice, snuggling closer to Sua. If Till wasn't so out of it right now, he probably would've found it touching. Maybe he would've felt a bit jealo-

Ivan had been uncharacteristically quiet so far, but of course, that didn't last long. "Amazing, it's great to see you two enjoying yourselves to this extent. Mizi, the way you fixed up your cloak looks stunning on you." He pointed towards Mizi's hood. They were also wearing disguisable clothes, though Mizi's a bit more fashionable than the rest, probably because she upcycled it herself. She was a fashion major, after all. Ivan switched his gaze to Sua. "Great work on your part too. You should cover your face up like that more often."

Now, Ivan was far from mean. He was a petty person, though. So if Sua was the one that began acting that way, it was Ivan who followed. Mizi and Till both knew they didn't truly dislike each other; it was more some kind of sibling-like banter. Like instinct. Once it came down to it, they would definitely have each other's backs. They were family after all. Though, was being family really a factor that mattered in relationships?

Sua scoffed. "Well, somebody looks pissed because we interrupted some quality time with his boyfriend." Till let out an undignified noise. "If you want to spend some time alone together, take a boat at the docks. They let you row across the lake for twenty minutes or so." She tipped. See? They could be nice to each other.

"What a marvellous idea." Ivan said, standing up from his spot in the blink of an eye, Mizi and Sua taking a step back at the sudden movement. Till finally snapped out of his daze, his eyes following Ivan's tall figure. "Have an incredible rest of your night, ladies." Ivan bowed for dramatic effect, grabbing Till's hand for the umpteenth time that day, pulling him off his stool.

Till stumbled, surprised noises falling from his mouth. He looked behind him through the corner of his eyes, where Mizi was waving them goodbye, Sua staring at them in disbelief. He really wanted to talk to Sua sometime. Without Ivan.

Ivan eventually slowed down, now walking next to Till at a matching pace. Till had long since given up on resisting, going along with Ivan's flow. "Do you even know where we're going?" Till asked Ivan after what felt like an eternity of walking. His legs had started to feel sore. He really didn't want this night to ever end, but his legs did, apparently.

Ivan grinned next to him. "No idea. But we'll get there eventually, I think." He said, grabbing Till's hand tighter after the other had tried to escape several times so far. "If you're that tired, I could always carry you on my back." Ivan suggested, though what he received wasn't a bashful stutter but a punch to his shoulder.

When Ivan wanted to open his mouth to speak some more, to Till's luck, what appeared in front of them was a mesmerising lake, sparkling waters reflecting the stars from high above. The moonlight shone directly on the aqueous surface, letting its light guide them like a siren song. The boats floated on the water, calm waves taking them further through their natural course.

They stopped for a second, admiring a landscape never seen by them before. It felt like there was a beautification filter placed over this whole world. For the landscape, at least. Reality was never this beautiful.

They noticed they were holding up the people walking behind them, so both of them, hands still intertwined, moved to reach their destination, the sound of their footsteps changing when they walked onto the wooden docks.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Ivan asked, worried about safety now of all times. Till didn't answer, staring at the water, assuming that that would be enough of an answer. And it was, as Ivan pulled them forward, talking to the person renting the boats. Till didn't hear any of it, too entranced by the lake in front of him. Ravishing sceneries never failed to disappoint him, they always felt like a fresh breath of air blown into his artistic soul, replenishing it.

Ivan nudged Till, bringing him back to his senses, and gestured towards the docked boat waiting for them to get in. It was the kind where both people had to sit facing each other, paddles on both sides of the boat. Till stepped into the boat, trying to keep his balance, and sat down carefully at the rear. That way, Ivan, who had to sit at the head, was the one who had to row. Ivan got in shortly after Till, easily and perfectly balanced.

Ivan, who already got the hint, set sail, off into a place of tranquil peace, surrounded by nothing but themselves and their puzzling feelings.

Chapter Text

They were located in the middle of the lake, drifting through the calm stream and letting the water take them where it wanted them to go. The ride was soothing, neither of them saying much except for small comments about their surroundings. There weren't many boats around them, and the docks were too far away to see from where they were, isolating them from anything but themselves.

Every time one of them made even the smallest movement, ripples were created beneath them, breaking through the smooth, fluid surface, producing a distortion. An anomaly, before everything turned back to normal for just a tiny amount of time. Action, reaction. It made Till wonder. Wasn't it just like them?

The lights from above, the cool air the lake blew into his face, the sound of the water entering his ears and washing over his brain. It felt relaxing, something he hadn't felt in quite a while. It felt like a calm before the storm.

He noticed the ripples increasing in number, and when he looked up, he found the reason behind it. Ivan seemed to be fidgeting more than he usually did, which was odd. Ivan wasn't really the person to get nervous or jittery at all. He always seemed cool and composed from the outside, though perhaps that was something he was taught. Till never wanted to press into the matter, only gathering information through the brief times Ivan decided to share some himself.

After a while, Till got tired of watching Ivan behave like that, deciding to pull the plug out of the socket. "What has got you acting all shaky like that?" Till asked, sounding a bit annoyed, when in reality, he was just curious. There weren't a lot of times he got to see Ivan like that. He should treasure them whenever he could.

Ivan exhaled once, slow, like he was regaining his normal self after 'getting caught'. His snaggle tooth caught his bottom lip when he tried to wet them, preparing himself to speak. Till sat up, his back straight, pointing his ears. Something felt... off. Till felt odd. Ivan looked odd.

He didn't like this in the slightest.

Ivan flashed him a sweet smile, one he always gave Till whenever he wished to persuade him into something, to which, in response, Till gave in. He had to try harder tonight in order for that to happen, though.

He saw Ivan's hand reach inside his cloak, taking out a small wooden box with a brand burnt onto the lid. He slowly opened the object, resting it on one hand while using the other to support his chin after opening it fully. Inside was a set of paintbrushes, high in quality, which one would already be able to distinguish by eye alone. The handle held an engraving, 'Till'.

This can't be happening.

Ivan presented the gift, inching it a bit closer to Till in order to give it to him. "I saw you looking at them, so when you weren't looking, I got them for you. It proved to be quite a task with the engraving and all." Ivan smiled, that familiar smile Till knew so well. Tooth sticking out, eyes squeezing ever so slightly, a dimple that was barely there on his right cheek.

Till stared at him. It felt like time had stopped. This wasn't just a normal gift, no. He knew that. Was this dumb facade really necessary anymore? Was it going to get him anywhere? It clearly wasn't working. He needed to find another solution. But right here, right now — there was no escape possible.

Ivan kept going. "Today was... incredibly fun. I obviously enjoy all the time I spend with you, but tonight felt different, something nostalgic. You must get what I mean, right?" He didn't wait for a reply, continuing his monologue. "I wasn't planning on telling you this, but I wanted to convey my intentions for the night."

No, no, please, don't. I have no way to stop you. Please, for the love of God—

Till kept staring ahead of him, looking Ivan directly into his eyes. Avoidance had already been thrown out of the window, so he went the complete other way. Exposure therapy. Not like he chose for it consciously anyway, his mind chose for him as everything within him was short-circuiting at the same time.

Ivan's eyes were different from usual. Not a lot, only a bit. They seemed softer than ever before, a faint red at the bottom, pupils dilated just barely, the red consuming Till into their world. It was all he could see. There was no way to flee, so the only option left was to accept, to drown into them. He didn't want to. He kept his head above the water, struggling against the rising tide, lungs filled with that red, crimson water. It had already infested.

"Do you remember when I read your book in the library some time ago?" For the first time, it was Ivan who broke eye contact. He cast his eyes onto the lake, stars reflected on the water mirrored in his eyes. "I took inspiration from that. The game, that time I held you close, when I wiped away the food on your face. Did you notice?" He looked at Till again, determined, yet unsure. "Did you... like it?"

Was Ivan dumb? Of course he liked it. He loved it, and that's what made everything so damn difficult. Ivan had taken the time to research into something Till loved, recreating moments that never failed to bring a smile to his face, allowing him to take part in something so dear to his heart, which seemed too far away at reading distance.

There was no one more perfect than Ivan for him. And that's exactly the reason for his anxiety. If the perfection wore off, if the filter placed over him faded, if Till wasn't enough anymore. Not interesting enough, not appealing enough, not loving enough.

It was time for Till to take part on the stage Ivan created for them. But what would he be able to say in this position? Laugh it off? Take the gift and thank Ivan? Fucking reciprocate?  His script had long since stopped, lines fading into blurry scribbles, soaked by that crimson water.

Maybe it would be best to, just for once, say what was on his mind. What he truly thought. Not the things already prepared on his tongue, but the things lingering in the back of his mind. He felt like Ivan deserved that, even just once. And maybe for the last time.

Till took a deep breath, shifting his posture a bit out of nervousness, but ultimately, he was nailed to his seat. "Ivan, please stop this." He said, voice barely audible. He reached his hand out to the box, closing it, pushing it away into Ivan's chest.

"Don't finish anything else you wanted to say. I'm not worth any of that." His eyes, frozen on the wooden boards beneath their feet, flickered upwards only a fraction of a second. Ivan looked somewhat shaken, his mouth parted, preparing to speak. Till had to take action against it.

"Don't!" He yelled, startled by his own raise of voice. "Don't speak. Let me talk." His eyes followed Ivan's feet, planted on the ground, unmoving. His full attention was probably on Till. Like it always was. Never one moment swaying. It felt comforting, usually. Now, it felt like a confrontation, one he tried so hard to push away, but in the end, everything always came back to bite him, venom travelling through his veins.

"Ivan. I... I don't want to make assumptions, but if there is a possibility in which you like me..." He hesitated. Should he continue? Hadn't he crossed a line? Well, if the line had already been crossed, it didn't matter how much further he went. "Please, I beg of you, bury it. Spend those feelings elsewhere. I am not the one who should be receiving them."

He swallowed. He couldn't dare to look up. "For one, I am not worthy of anything of the sort. Love isn't a thing I am accustomed to, and probably never will be. I never learnt how to love, hell, I don't even know what it is supposed to be. The concept is so vague— it's too much. It's not meant for a person like me."

Was that enough? No, there was more to tell. He should see it through until the end. "And Ivan, you know, I was the only one you ever hung out with ever since we were little. Maybe, if you broadened your horizons, you would find people who are much better than me. No, I'm sure of it. You're chained to me. And that's all my fault. I'm sorry I kept you so close. I shouldn't have relied on you that much back in the day — no, even now. I'm so sorry." He kept apologising.

It was inevitable. The ugly truth kept streaming out, the dam had broken. Tidal waves surged to the surface, spilling over, breaking anything that tried to keep them in. "I... I can't bear to lose you like this, Ivan. If you had just continued to be my friend, and only that, we could've lived in the bliss of those days. I'm not saying this to shame you. You've never done anything wrong." His hands gripped his hair, trying to ground himself in reality.

"I'm so sorry I'm like this. I just—I don't want to lose you. I can't. If you saw the me beneath all of the things you made me out to be, you'd leave, like most people do. Honestly, it's a surprise you've held on for so long. And I'm grateful for that. Really, I am. But if anything were to change, if we were to change, especially you, Ivan, I think I wouldn't be able to bear it anymore. My sole hope and light in this world would die out, and my own flame would go along with it. I'm sorry, Ivan, I am so, so sorry."

And now, all was revealed. Still, he felt anxious. Had he been able to convey his thoughts well? He didn't want Ivan to misunderstand. He didn't want Ivan to leave.

Ivan didn't say anything, letting the silence take over. Till started counting his heartbeats, which became an impossible feat because they went faster than his mind could comprehend. His nerves were killing him, urging him to do something. He slowly raised his head, eyes coming into contact with the subject of his fear.

Ivan was... crying. Never, not once in all of those years, had he ever seen Ivan let even one tear slip. Always composed, or pretended to be. He didn't understand. Why was he crying? Did he... hurt him that much? It felt like a knife stabbed his heart, twisting uncontrollably after its impact.

"Till." Ivan spoke, hesitant, yet his voice remained stable. His tears were subsiding, the last droplets making their marks onto the wood where they had fallen. "Does that mean that you like me?"

What the hell?

After that whole speech, after pouring and ripping his own heart out right in front of him, this is what he got in return? Surely this was a joke.

Tears started welling up in Till's eyes too, though not yet enough to stream down. His eyes were glassy, lips quivering. He had a lot he wanted to say, yet everything had already been uncovered.

Ivan placed the abandoned box next to him, discarding it for a moment. He still sniffled quite a bit, trying to keep his tears at bay. Till still wondered why he started tearing up like that. As always, things like that remained a mystery.

Ivan raised his hands, placing them on either side of Till's head, and started rubbing his eyes. He left his own tears to dry uselessly on his face, yet reached out for Till's when they hadn't even reached their point of spilling over yet.

Till let out a small shriek but didn't pull away. "Quiet." Ivan said, composed, calm, unlike his appearance. "Now it is my turn to speak." His hands didn't leave Till's face, keeping them steady. Instead of his eyes, Ivan now ran smooth circles along Till's cheeks.

"We both know you are lying, Till. This is something you made up inside your head, that space where your thoughts tangle up and lead to the worst conclusions possible." Ivan's eyes looked so determined, so sure, Till felt himself shrinking under their gaze.

"It's strange. I feel so happy, but now isn't the time for that. We haven't reached the right point yet." What was this bastard talking about? What was there to be happy about? Till basically spat on him, rubbing his feet on the spot where it landed. And he was happy?

"Till." Ivan grabbed his face a little tighter, Till's eyes snapping back to his as they were starting to misdirect. "You've never been a burden, or anything slightly resembling that to me. I chose to stay by your side and help you through anything you faced, just like you did for me." Ivan's eyes were still a bit red. Till pursed his lips.

"But I never—" Till opened his mouth, only to be stopped by Ivan's thumbs, placing them on top of Till's lips, restricting his speech. Ivan shushed him.

"Your free spirit, your rebellious actions, the way you never failed to stand up for yourself, and when it came to it, stood up for me. Till, you inspired me. When all things in life seemed lost to me, just your presence, just you being there, made everything bearable for me. My safe haven, something — someone - I could always return to. Maybe you didn't notice, but the only reason why I am who I am now is because of you." Ivan swallowed. It didn't seem to be easy for him to say something like this either.

"If not for you, I would've still lived as a puppet under my parents' reign. I've been released. You didn't chain me, you broke me free from my shackles and took me along with you. My heart, the way I see you, my love - none of that will ever change. No matter what you do. Be it you kill someone, you fall ill, even if you die, I would never leave you. I would follow you to the deepest of hells whether I was allowed to or not." 

Now Ivan's expression shifted somewhat, his eyes growing a bit darker, eyebrows turning downwards. "And what was that about not knowing love? Till. You are love itself. You taught me, a broken, loveless, barely emotable child, to love. I'm smitten, I'm head over heels for you, and that's because of you." He shook his head, unbelievably. He seemed rather angry now.

"I don't know what your father, or right now, Urak, made you believe, but nothing of that has ever been true. Your actions, your emotions, everything you do stems from love. So much that it had affected me. And at some point, it clicked in me. What I felt towards you was that very love."

Till had started full-on bawling by now. He didn't know why. Tears kept streaming down, with no intention of stopping. Ivan released his face, lunging forward, pulling him close into a tight embrace. And as much as Till hated it, it fucking worked. He grabbed the fabric near Ivan's shoulders tight, letting out soft sobs as Ivan drew small circles along his back.

"I must admit," Ivan began, voice a bit smaller than it had been a few seconds ago. "I'm sorry too. For not making you believe you were loved. I really tried, but things like that... It seems that such things weren't rooted within me, so expressing them can be quite... Well, I assume you know how I am."

"I'm not disappointed in you." Ivan continued. "I just hope, from now on, you will see my real intentions through my actions. I never intended to confess to you like this tonight, to lay my feelings so bare for you. I never planned to at all, truth be told. Of course, I noticed how you were hurting. Even though you never told me anything, there was no way I wouldn't be able to notice that. I always do. Sorry for making you feel like you had to go through this alone, Till. Please, I plead, never do anything like that again. I'll stay here, right at your side, if you're okay with my twisted insides."

Till needed a moment to let everything sink in. Ivan understood that, not pulling away from the embrace, as neither did Till.

Ivan could be surprisingly sweet at a time like this. Usually, he would say something weird or do something very out of the ordinary. He once even licked a bleeding cut on Till's face. Till feared he was going to say something strange again because of the thing he said first, but Ivan had perplexed him.

He wanted so hard to believe Ivan. For some part, he did. Hearing what Ivan had to say to him released a massive amount of stress and guilt from his shoulders. But still, something kept gnawing inside of him. Like he wasn't ready to admit to it all yet.

He... was love? That's how Ivan saw him? That couldn't be right. Everything within him screamed so, but when Ivan put it like that... Till felt a momentary wave of reassurance wash over him. Momentarily. Before his mind began spiralling again.

All that time when he didn't think he had done anything for Ivan, it was proved to be wrong. By Ivan, at least. Still, he wasn't convinced. How? When would he ever be satisfied? When he thought Ivan didn't notice anything about him, he did. He tried to cheer him up, bringing him here to the market, but Till had been too clouded by his own misery to notice it.

And now, Ivan even apologised to him. When nothing of this was his fault. When everything about this was because of Till's own head. He still apologised, like the selfless person he became whenever it came to Till.

A decision wasn't able to be made easily. Definitely not right now, when he was riding on adrenaline, heart out of control, mind hazy. He wasn't even sure he could see straight and clear.

He slowly released himself from Ivan, though Ivan didn't want to. He tried to hold onto Till for a bit longer but noticed it was futile. Tonight, he would give Till everything he wanted to. Even if it was his own heart, even if it was his own life.

Till buried his face in his own cloak, rubbing his eyes dry, leaving the area red and swollen, before more tears came streaming down. He was a living waterfall. Ivan seemed to panic slightly, moving his fingers in front of Till convulsively, but eventually pulled back.

Suddenly, he felt a bump, like the boat had hit something. He almost fell forward onto Ivan, but luckily, the crash wasn't as severe as that. He lowered his cloak a little, peeking above it, only to discover they had drifted back to the docks and their ride was now officially over.

Till felt relieved before quickly realising the state they were in, especially he. He shot up from his seat, wobbling in response as he forgot that they were on water but remained upright. Ivan's hands, which he had just put away, shot forward again, ready to catch Till anytime.

Both ignoring the worker trying to moor their boat, their conversation continued. Or rather, ended. "I..." Till swallowed, indecisiveness getting the better of him. "I need to go. I'll need time to think." He said, voice cracking, before jumping out of the boat onto the docks and sprinting away.

He didn't look behind but heard Ivan's distant scream loud and clear. "Take your time, Till! I love you!" He threw the box with paintbrushes all the way to Till, landing perfectly on his head before bouncing into his hands.

Till almost stumbled, tripping over his own feet, but didn't stop until the docks were nothing more than blurry scenery that could be admired from afar. He slowed his pace, catching his breath while wiping the remaining tears off his face, box still in hand, not realising what item he was holding in his hand through his daze.

He didn't quite know the way, but since it was getting late, more and more attendees had started to leave, so he just followed the largest stream of people and hoped for the best. Mushed between the large crowd, he felt a tap on his shoulder, startled at the sudden touch.

Since he was still highly emotional and in a mild state of panic, his whole body shrank, freezing on the spot. He slowly looked behind him like an axe murderer just found him.

What he met was nothing of the sort, however, as two women, arms interlocked, were staring at him with wide eyes. Mizi and Sua.

Mizi's arm was still extended after tapping Till's shoulder, Sua clutching both hands to Mizi's arm where they were holding onto each other. Both wore an expression of concern, though the difference in intensity differed.

Till ducked his head down a little, but he knew hiding would be futile. He probably looked awful, hence their expressions. They were the last people he wanted to encounter right now, but fate never failed to smack him right in the face.

Mizi's extended arm surged forward, her hand clutching Till's face. "Oh dear, what happened to you!?" She said, alarmed, pinching the swollen skin under his eye. It kind of hurt since the skin was still sensitive, so he softly grabbed her hand, which made her pull back.

Before he could clarify himself, it was Sua's turn to speak. "If it was my idiotic cousin, I'll be sure to give him a beating." She scoffed. Ever since that... Well, misunderstanding, Sua had opened her heart a bit for him. He supposed he was right when he thought that Sua closed everyone off that might be a rival. Except for Ivan, she closed him off because she just found him plain annoying.

He laughed, though he didn't feel like laughing at all. It was just a formality. "Everything's okay. I was just on my way home." He also didn't feel like lying. It just didn't feel right in front of them, yet he also didn't want to say the truth. His voice kept falling, eyes almost tearing up again. There was nothing to hide, but there were things able to be left unsaid.

Both women stared at him, exchanging a calculating gaze between the two of them. Mizi grabbed Till's hand again, firm, reassuring. "Tomorrow. Afternoon. My estate. If you don't show up, I'll come and get you myself." She said, strict and clear. Though Sua didn't say anything, she looked the same.

He appreciated that they noticed he wasn't ready to talk. At least right now. He wasn't sure if he would be able to tomorrow, but they still made an effort for him. Though his heart wasn't quite located in the right place at the moment, it still beat a little faster.

He mumbled a quiet 'thanks', trying to show a genuine smile, but he really didn't want to know how he looked right now in their eyes. They waved him off before he disappeared into the mass of people again and smoothly followed them to the way out, where he found Sparkles and Ivan's horse waiting.

He mounted Sparkles, patting Ivan's horse a few times before leaving the market site into the quiet night. Along the way, he tried to keep his head clear. Tried not to think about anything, not too hard, not too intense. He didn't want Ivan to wait, yet he also didn't want to rush. He wanted to take his time.

He hoped, though he was reluctant, tomorrow would be of great help.

The night wasn't easy. What was easy, was sneaking out for the umpteenth time. He had done it so many times already that by now, it seemed like a perfectly normal activity. The curtains had been drawn, and he could leisurely take his stroll towards the stables.

Eduardo probably noticed the lack of liveliness in his actions but didn't comment on it. Well, not yet. If Till continued to act this way, he would probably say something at some point, since Eduardo wasn't a person to just ignore his feelings like that. What he did do was give him space.

And now, Till was on his way to Mizi's estate, though enthusiasm about the trip was something he was short of. It wasn't because of Mizi and Sua, definitely not, but who would be ready to face something they had been running away from? Right. No one.

He arrived, and this time, without complications. The guard recognised him and let him through, saying he received orders to do so. A servant took Sparkles with him to the stables, leaving Till alone in the reception hall, waiting for Mizi to descend down the stairs.

Within seconds, he heard the clicking of heels on carpet, muffled, but there. Of course, she wasn't alone but was accompanied by Sua. Now that he thought about it, ever since the masquerade at Sua's estate, there hadn't been a time when he had seen either of the two alone, always glued together.

Sua was wearing a soft expression, eyebrows not furrowed for once. Mizi, as usual, was beaming, though the seriousness on her face also shone through. So they were serious about this...

"Come with us." Mizi commanded once they stood in front of him, pointing in the direction she wished to go in. Till followed the two, already quite familiar with his surroundings, since they were leading him to the same room he conversed in with Mizi the first time he was here. Though it hadn't been that long ago, it felt kind of nostalgic, because that was the day he first found Ivan in this world.

Ivan.

Quickly shaking the thought away, he followed them until they reached the conservatory. The whole room was still the same, flowers remaining identical, table and chairs unmoving, though the change in weather transformed everything, from the atmosphere to the overall appearance.

The sun shone through the clear glass, reflecting on the golden alignments holding the space together, radiating their golden hue onto the flowers surrounding them. They were somewhere sacred, a space only they shared, connected through care and unspoken understanding.

Till fiddled with the fabric of his blouse, waiting for the other two to speak. He really didn't know what to talk about, so he should just go along their way and answer their questions for them to get the clear story. If he went and explained everything in his own way, that would surely not come out right.

Mizi was the first to speak, looking Till in his eyes clearly. She was there to help, and she aimed to reach that goal. "Till, could you tell us what happened last night?" She asked, noticing his nervousness, trying to not pry into him too much. He had to feel at ease, not pressured.

Till swallowed once, eyes darting around the room, switching between the different kinds of flowers that were there. It was hard to talk, and he didn't know how to begin. He was afraid to be painted as the villain, even though he couldn't do anything about his actions. That was just how he was, how his head made him to be.

"I was on a boat with Ivan. He gave me a gift, and I turned him down. It's not like he was confessing to me or anything, but I freaked out and said some things that could've hurt him. But he— he turned it into something beautiful. The words he used, the way he said it... It was another gift I couldn't accept. So I ran. And he was okay with that. And now I'm stuck, and I don't know what to do or what to say to him." It was somewhat ambiguous, but he hoped the message could be conveyed.

They both stared at him, listened, and were now deep in thought. Sua leaned over to Mizi, whispering something into her ear. Till's heart clenched painfully. "What? No, Sua! They aren't dating! Didn't I tell you...?" Mizi whispered back a little too hard. Till coughed sharply, using his elbow to cover up his face.

Sua broke the silence with a piercing question. "Hold on. So do you both like each other or not?" She asked, a genuinely puzzled look on her face, sliding her hair behind her ear. Till didn't answer, but the way his face reddened was response enough.

"Till, I'm sorry to ask you this," Mizi said politely, though it felt a bit hesitant. "If you both like each other, what is holding you back?" She moved a little closer, sitting on the edge of her chair. Sua also perked up just a bit, straightening her back and moving closer to the table.

"It's just—" He let go of his blouse, gripping the table instead. "What if he, at some point, just... doesn't anymore? He'll see me for who I really am, or get tired of me, or meet someone new— It's just too big of a gamble. We're fine how we are right now as best friends. Or at least, that's what I used to think, but recently—" He abruptly stopped talking. That was not something meant for anyone's ears.

His eyes were fixated on the table, on his knuckles slowly turning white from clutching it too hard. In front of him, he heard a few giggles. He was about to flinch when he remembered his misunderstanding from a few minutes ago. It would be best to check first, he supposed.

He looked up, hands not leaving the table, only to be met with two women trying to contain their laughter. Mizi was grasping onto Sua's arm, while Sua stared straight forward with her hand in front of her mouth. He looked at them dumbfounded, the two of them gasping as they realised they still had to answer him.

Sua brought her hand to her ear, readjusting her hair once more before putting both hands back in her lap. "Till. With all due respect, have you seen the way he looks at you? Sure, you might know him better even though he's my family, but please, even if you ate thirty-five kilograms of garlic and bathed in French onion soup for a whole day, he would still follow you around like you were an aphrodisiac."

"She's right." Mizi chimed in. "He has the exact same look in his eyes as Sua does. And plus, whenever I see Ivan, his eyes are always plastered onto you. I've never seen him look at anyone else whenever he has free will." Sua elbowed her softly, not appreciating the comparison.

Till went quiet. Was that really how Ivan seemed to them? Sure, he had a creepy look in his eyes whenever he talked or looked at Till, but was that the reason? It kind of made sense now...

Till sighed deeply, lifting his head and watching the clouds change shape above him. The two across from him had also gone quiet, probably leaving him to sort out his thoughts. Amidst the silence, Mizi broke through, clearing her throat.

Till slowly got his head back into reality, leaving his thoughts inside and on hold, waiting for Mizi to speak. Sua also found it surprising, turning her head to face Mizi, tilting it. Mizi switched her gaze between Sua and Till before she finally spoke. "Sua, would it be okay for me and Till to talk privately for a minute?" She put her hand on top of Sua's that were on her lap. Sua nodded understandingly and got up, walking towards the door.

Before she opened it and walked through, she spared a quick glance towards Till with an unreadable expression. Whether it was pity or annoyance, Till didn't know. He hoped he would be able to one day.

Once Sua had closed the door behind her, Mizi stood up and grabbed her chair, placing it beside Till. When she sat down, their knees touched. "Till, you can tell me anything. I won't force you, but you were really downplaying yourself in the way you were talking just now. Are you okay? Did anything happen before you reincarnated?" She asked straight to the point, yet carefully, hoping she didn't invade his personal space.

She really cared about him. She cared, she asked, she acted. He and Ivan always understood each other but never outright talked about their problems, or at least, not to this extent. It was something new, but not unpleasant. It felt reassuring to have a friend like Mizi, who always seemed ready to talk about anything and to help with everything in her power. It wasn't quite like him to open up so easily, but now was different. He felt safe and accepted.

Till smiled softly, genuine, letting a small huff of air escape through his nose. "My mom left when I was younger, and my dad was abusive. Ivan was the only one I had throughout my whole life. Guess that made me like this." He said with a chuckle, simple, yet such a small amount of words could have a large impact.

Mizi grabbed his hand, holding it tight. Well, his knuckles were white already anyway. "Oh, Till... I'm so sorry. And now, with the life that you've been reincarnated in, it must've been hard. I'm so sorry, I should've done more for you. I'll keep praising and supporting you until the mindset you were taught to believe will fade completely. And I'm sure Ivan will do no less." She stated, tearing up on his behalf.

Till squeezed his hand back, laughing softly to relieve the tension in the air. "No, it's okay, you haven't done anything wrong, at all, actually. What you have done for me up until now has been more than enough."

"Everything will be okay!" She tried to cheer him up. "I know the choice is hard to make, but trust me, nothing will be lost, only gained!" She pumped her fist motivatingly like a pre-school teacher would hype a new student up to make friends, making Till snort.

Mizi tried moving closer, though that was already almost impossible to do. She wanted to talk about the topic more, but Till had already closed it off in his heart. He had received far more kindness than he could've ever wished for, and opening up came in steps. For now, for him, this was enough, and he was sure Mizi would agree.

"By the way," he quickly spoke before Mizi could, changing the subject. "I'm always scared the narrative will come back to haunt us, you know, since we changed the story so much." He said, not putting much thought behind his words, just sharing a lingering notion.

Mizi looked quite shocked before laughing it off. "Don't say such things out loud, you'll jinx it." She laughed, playfully nudging his shoulder. They talked for a bit more about more light-hearted things, about their previous worlds, their previous lives.

After a while, Mizi invited Sua back in, continuing their conversation, though they had to limit their talk about the whole reincarnation thing. Mizi had told him she didn't want Sua to know, or at least, not yet. She didn't explain any further, so he didn't ask any more, just like she did for him.

After a while, when the sky had turned dark, Till realised he had been there for longer than he expected. He said his goodbyes to the two women, both getting up to see him out, waving behind him. He found it quite funny, because it looked like Mizi and Sua were already married and living together. He supposed that it wouldn't take long anymore for that to happen.

Once home, he dressed down, jumping into his bed after a tiring day, both physically and mentally. But the worst part had yet to come.

He had to come to a decision, whether he wanted to or not.

Chapter Text

The wooden floor was cold on his back, yet his eyes were plastered to the ceiling, unmoving, deep in thought.

Like most days for the previous three weeks, this was Till's most-visited spot: the floor in the middle of his room. Sprawled out like a starfish, he stared at the surface above him and kept his head cranking. Except for the occasional (forced) outings with Mizi and Sua (where he felt like a third wheel), he didn't move much from that place.

His head went in circles. From positive to negative, from feeling hopeful to feeling hopeless, from acceptance to denial, you name it. His mood depended on the day, hour, or even the minute.

Now, at day... what was it by now? Twenty-two, maybe? He started to grow tired of it. If he wasn't careful enough, he would just make the decision without giving it much thought in the end just because of mental exhaustion.

As the sun had started to set and his surroundings grew dark, that was his sign to get up, dress down (if he had even dressed up that morning) and head to bed. His sleep schedule has never been better these days, if what he gained was actual sleep. That didn't come as easy, unfortunately, as he was being pestered with nightmares every time he even tried to close his eyes.

Now, in his comfortable bedstead, he held a book in his hand, one he had read about ten times by now. It came from Ivan's library, one of the books he still hadn't returned since the first time they met. Whenever he didn't feel like lying on the floor, he grabbed his sketchbook, drawing his visualisation of the characters portrayed in the book, surrounded by a wall of flowers (sometimes, an infrequent drawing of a man with black hair and an odd tooth appeared on the paper).

Since he couldn't resist the urge, when he was satisfied with his sketch, he would paint it, using the brushes Ivan had gifted him. He was an artist. Who would be able to restrain themselves from using such high-quality items when they were just lying around?

Anyway, back to his bed. He was lying comfortably under the covers, book in one hand, bookmark in the other. The light on his bedside table was just bright enough for the letters to remain readable.

After reciting a few lines off the top of his head (because he had memorised the important scenes by now), he heard a strange yet familiar ticking sound on his window. Immediately triggering his fight or flight, Till surged forward out of his bed and ran to the window to close his curtains at once.

When he stood in front of the window, however, creepy, beady, black and red eyes were already staring back at him. Just the eyes and the top of the head, nothing more. Till yelled like he felt he had never before, hand clasping to his mouth in order to dampen the sound.

He ran to his door, placing his ear on it, trying to hear if anyone came to investigate the mysterious scream. No one came, of course, since he wasn't quite loved in this household by many (not by all, but they had to remain inconspicuous, of course). All the while he performed this act, the head outside of the window didn't move an inch, not even raising their head to fully reveal their face.

Of course, that wasn't needed. Of course, it was Ivan.

Till stomped to his window, realising Ivan wouldn't go away that easily. He opened it roughly, flipping Ivan's bangs upward with the gust of wind that came with opening the window. Amused eyes were staring back at him, admiring the sight, not saying a word.

Till was very close to being pushed over the edge. "Well!? What are you doing here!?" He screamed, hushed, his attitude like usual, which he didn't even notice himself. Ivan's eyes perked up even more, finally lifting himself, becoming fully visible from the shoulders up. He leaned his arms on the windowsill, looking at Till in pure awe, like a dehydrated man in the desert who just found a well.

"I haven't seen you in so long." Ivan began. Till bit his lip. "I'm not here for long, promise. I just wanted to invite you to another banquet at the palace." Ivan said earnestly, smiling sweetly at Till like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Till swallowed the lump that had started forming in his throat. "I don't know..." He said, considering. Was he ready for that? Surely he would see Ivan there and wouldn't be able to escape from him in his own home. He wanted to go, though. Even though he hated places like that — busy and pretentious — he wanted to go. For one sole reason, one he wouldn't say aloud.

Ivan scrambled up, extending his arm quickly to grab Till's hand before he could react. "Please? I'm not asking you to decide on anything. Just your mere presence is enough. You don't even have to talk to me if you don't want to. Though a few seconds of eye contact would be nice." Ivan pleaded, grip strong.

Till grimaced, his hands turning clammy. Ivan still didn't let go, he probably even liked it. "I'll... I'll think about it."

In the end, he came.

There was no need for a sneaking-out this time, yet he was still sweating bullets. No mask, no hidden identity, he was just Till now. He was standing in a corner, champagne in hand, eyes flickering from side to side, trying to spot an acquaintance.

Right after he downed his glass and decided to leave, he locked eyes with bright, yellow eyes, storming his way upon contact. Behind Mizi followed Sua, gracefully, though walking at a somewhat quicker pace than usual since Mizi was dragging her along in his direction.

"Till! I can't believe you're here!" She exclaimed, letting go of Sua to pull him into a big hug. He could see Sua behind her grasp the empty air she left behind around her hand. Mizi smoothed his suit with her hands like it was a maternal instinct.

He was wearing a simple, black suit with a grey, frilled blouse underneath. The suit was detailed with silver elements, creating an elegant yet bold image for the wearer. Frankly, the fact that the details were made out of pure silver was quite uncomfortable, as even his shoes were adorned with it, making every step heavier than it needed to be.

"Oh, you know. Appearances and stuff." He did not want to tell them he came because Ivan invited him. He wasn't really in the mood for Mizi's squealing and Sua's 'I knew it' look at the moment.

Mizi stepped back, hand sliding into Sua's naturally. Despite not saying anything, Sua still gave him that look. Trying to spark something, she spoke. "Have you seen Ivan yet? If you want to, I can show you the way. Surprisingly, he's free right now." She said with a smirk, though it was a small one he was sure only Mizi and he could catch, and Mizi had caught on.

Till waved his hands in front of him, clearly denying the proposal. "No, I'm fine... It's still kind of awkward, and he probably wants space right now after taking part in conversations with important nobles... You know, things like that. I'd say that I'm quite nice for giving him some time alone to relax and—" He rambled before getting interrupted.

Hands were dragging him across the room. Till wouldn't define himself as particularly weak, but no one could break free from two strong-willed, determined women. Believe him, he tried. "It's really okay! Please just let go of me, all right?"

Mizi and Sua gave each other a contemplating look before coming to a halt. "You know you can't keep running away, Till. You know that that's what you've been doing." Sua said, her look changing to a 'you know damn well' one, looking up at him through her long eyelashes.

Mizi nodded her head. "Yeah, that's why we are giving you a push into the right direction!" Till wanted to ask her what that meant, but was soon met with the answer. The dragging continued, even rougher in its pace this time. Till almost stumbled over his stupidly heavy shoes.

"Ivan! Hello!" Mizi beamed. Till ducked, looking at Ivan through the small gap the two women made. He could hear Sua clicking her tongue. Was it because of him or simply because she saw Ivan?

Ivan looked up from the empty glass he was holding, looking up at the two visitors who had just shown up. Or actually, three. "Why hello, Mizi and Sua! And Till." Bam. Direct eye contact. Damn it. "You know you're fully visible from down there, right?" Ivan snickered, watching Till as he embarrassingly got up.

"Shut up, I was just tying my shoe." He looked down. He had no laces.

While he was busy ignoring Ivan, he saw Mizi and Sua exchanging looks before Sua suddenly sighed deeply, bending down through her knees to grab her ankle. "Ow, my ankle. I think it's my shoe. It's very, very uncomfortable." It could've been a good act if she didn't say every word in monotone.

Mizi, of course, also took part on the stage. "Oh no! Let's get you somewhere to sit!" She said a bit too excitedly in contrast to Sua. While they walked away, he saw Mizi give Ivan a wink. If that wasn't confusing enough, Sua winked at him. Was he living in a fever dream?

Till thought quick for once, already about to turn on his heel. "Well then, now that I've said hello, I'll get goin—" Ivan had already grabbed his wrist. Though the look on his face was very gentle, his grip, unfortunately, was not.

"I know that I said only making eye contact would be enough, though now that you're here in front of me, I have changed my mind." Till's heart started to race. No, no— "Let's go somewhere quiet. And stop looking like I just threatened to kill you. Relax. I won't do anything." Ivan said. Wow, very reassuring. If only it wasn't his presence alone that already made Till shake. And blush. Who said that?

They were in some unnervingly long corridor on the second floor after a five-minute walk of complete silence. Ivan's grip never left. They stood in front of one of the many doors aligned next to each other, though this one seemed more refined and better taken care of. There were neatly arranged potted flowers outside and beautiful carvings in the doorpost, carefully crafted.

Ivan finally let go of Till, slumping down with his back to the door. His hair fell ungracefully in front of his eyes, his strained expression returning to normal. Till sighed before ultimately dropping next to him. He stared at the floor, though he felt Ivan's gaze burning into him from his side.

He noticed Ivan's breathing slowing after a short while. "I usually come here to relax." Ivan said, his speech somewhat restricted due to his chin leaning on his arm. He sat with his knees propped up, arms resting on them loosely. His clothes wrinkled heavily because of it, though the prince did not seem to care.

Till raised an eyebrow. "You... sit in front of a door to relax?" He asked, dumbfounded. It was weird. Not Ivan-weird, but weird.

"What— no? I sit inside the room." Ivan said, his expression saying something like 'duh'.

Till frowned. Why was Ivan acting like he was the dumb one here? "Then why the hell are we sitting in front of the door and not behind it? Imagine someone walked past and saw two neatly clothed men hunched next to each other in front of a random door." Till sighed, turning his head to look at Ivan, who had changed his expression to 'really?'.

Ivan crept his face a little closer to Till, cocking an eyebrow. "Do you really think I care about that? I live here, you know." Then, after a beat of silence, "And you're not getting inside."

Now that piqued Till's interest. Ivan usually let him do whatever he wanted to if he asked. Usually without asking, too. For Ivan to refuse him something? That could be worth gold. He grinned at the thought, deciding to push further. Now it was finally his turn to annoy Ivan in return. "Oh? Is that so~?" He purposefully let the last vowel chime.

Ivan sat under the doorknob, making it more difficult for Till to reach if he was the one under it. The only obstacle right now was Ivan with his sharp senses and strong body. Ivan was already alert, figuring Till would try to do something like this. His arms went up in a defensive manner, while Till braced himself for attack.

Both smirking now, Till lunged forward, his only goal being the knob blocked by Ivan's obnoxious head. He moved one hand towards it and the other towards the door. His action was intercepted, however, by Ivan's hands moving only a millisecond faster than his, blocking him from both sides.

Ivan was laughing, though something in his voice sounded a bit panicked. "Till, really, you won't be able to get in—" Arrogant bastard. Did he think that lowly of him? That he couldn't beat him in a battle of strength like this? It did not only take power, it also took wit. Though Ivan also had more of that, Till had his fair share of moments.

"Ha, you thought that that— would make me back— ugh— down?" Struggling, Till managed to say a few lines with a strained voice. He was putting everything he had into his aching muscles. "I won't l-lose an opportunity like— this." Till's smirk widened. He was sure he could win this fight.

"Pfft—" Ivan spat out a laugh, clearly mocking him. Oh yeah? Was that the game Ivan wanted to play? All right then, let's get serious.

There was one spot Till knew he could get Ivan with. He never used it, unless in times of need. If Ivan found out Till knew about it, it would be harder to take him by surprise, leaving the opportunity as wasted. He had to be discreet. Though now, it was time to unleash it, to reveal the hidden weapon required to slay the devil disguised as a handsome, youthful prince.

He cracked his fingers (as much as he was able to, because Ivan was still holding him tight), bracing himself for the rewarding but vigorous mission he was about to execute. He waited for a few seconds, relaxing his muscles, waiting for a chance to catch Ivan off guard.

The second he felt Ivan loosening his grip even a tiny bit, he used all the strength left in his arms, breaking free. Ivan's eyes were blown wide, and before he could think of the next action to undertake, Till had already outplanned him. He had been one step ahead.

He flexed the muscles in his fingers, keeping all of them straight with his hand in a ninety-degree angle, and shot forward faster than Ivan's eyes could comprehend. There was only one body part of Ivan that Till was focusing on.

His side.

Unbeknownst to Ivan, who was, annoyingly enough, not ticklish anywhere (self-proclaimed), he had a weak spot. His left side. Till had noticed once in their high school days when he accidentally elbowed Ivan right on that spot and saw him flinch, just barely. In the days after that, Till continued to bump into him, hitting him in the exact same spot, only for Ivan to give the same reaction every time (yes, he had also tried the other side, but alas, that one didn't work).

And now, Till's secret weapon had been laid bare in the open. It was for the greater good. For a cause too advanced for humanity to understand. He looked down at his work of art. No, hold on... He was looking up? His back and the back of his head were cold? He was lying on the ground?

Above him was Ivan, both forearms caging in Till's head, holding himself up to prevent himself from falling onto Till. His hair was tousled, unusual, but it looked so good. Uh, awful. It almost touched Till's forehead because he was so damn close.

Ivan's expression was strained, eyebrows knitting together, probably still groaning from the impact Till had caused. Then, in the blink of an eye, that expression had vanished, making place for one full of joy and whimsy. Ivan laughed, hard, placing his forehead on Till's shoulder. Till could feel every little shake with every laugh that stumbled out, the sound of it better than any music he had ever encountered over the years that he had been alive.

"Haa..." Ivan sighed as his laughter began to cease. "You almost had me there, Till. If it hadn't been for my subconscious reflexes, you would've stood with two feet planted in that room. I'll never underestimate you again." Smile still on his face, pearly white teeth greeting the world, he raised his head to look at Till again.

Though what he met wasn't an expression of delight mirroring his, it was the exact opposite. Red, swollen eyes, tears streaming down the side, lips quivering and broken from biting, almost drawing blood.

Ivan's hand shot to Till's face, wiping off the tears that were spilling one after the other. He tried to keep his smile, keep it light-hearted, though worry seeped through that mask. "Hey, what's wrong? Did my overwhelming power startle you?" a rushed laugh. "Till, I'm sorry—"

Till suddenly cut him off, his higher-pitched voice echoing through the desolate marble hall. "No, I'm the one who is sorry. For neglecting you, ignoring you, running away—"

Now it was Ivan's turn to impolitely cut someone's sentence off. His hand hadn't stopped wiping Till's tears away. "Till, it's okay. You don't have to force yourself, my intention for this whole night wasn't to get an answer out of you. Honest to God, I just desired to see you. I told you I'd wait forever, right? Or didn't I? Then, I'll tell you right now."

Something within Till broke. All of a sudden, the dam withholding everything burst, breaking into a million pieces, rendering it unable to recollect all the pieces and rebuild it. The water was streaming uncontrollably, gushing out in volumes hidden away at the bottom of the creek.

Why it was now, he didn't know. It had probably been a matter of time. A fragile crack at the stem of a glass, waiting for its moment to break as soon as it was picked up.

"I just wished for everything to be different. For me to be different. I don't want to doubt you. Really, I don't!" His red, bloodshot eyes somewhat resembled Ivan's crimson ones as they were staring straight into each other's soul. Or perhaps, it was a reflection.

"I just..." His voice got smaller, weaker, all the confidence he once had faded. "What if you stop loving me one day? What if—" What came out of his mouth next was a muffled shriek, as Ivan's hand slapped over his mouth to shut him up.

Damn. Did he get tired already? This soon? Ivan looked at Till like he knew what he was thinking (he probably did), coming even closer. He removed his hand, and Till could feel Ivan's breath on his skin.

"If I ever stop loving you, which I highly doubt, I'll just go into this room and fall in love with you all over again." He pointed his thumb towards the door Till hadn't been allowed to unlock.

Confused, Till wanted to ask what Ivan meant before he was forcefully helped upwards by Ivan, nearly manhandling him. Ivan grabbed his hand, his other hand grasping onto the knob Till had fought to reach just a few minutes ago.

Ivan opened the door with a slight creak, glancing at Till once more before stepping in. Till followed without a word, retracing Ivan's exact footsteps as he stepped into the room.

His gaze was glued to the ground, heart still beating loudly, not quite settled down from a few seconds ago. He felt Ivan's finger on his chin, slowly lifting it up, forcing Till to get a full view of the spectacle he had stepped into.

A gallery, the walls full of framed pieces of art. They were neatly arranged, something a person would be able to recognise upon approach. The art was placed carefully behind glass and enlisted in golden frames, decorated into separately beautiful pieces themselves, complimenting the art within and enhancing the value of experience.

The room was very well kept, almost like it was cared for daily, not a single speck of dust in sight and everything within perfectly maintained. The walls left and right from him were hung full, leaving almost no room for new additions. The wall right in front of him appeared empty, a single frame hung in the middle of the space, drawing one's attention to it wherever they stood.

They weren't regular pieces of art.

They were his.

Ivan had kept all of the art he had ever made in this world, even though Till had said to toss it out whenever he was done. They were just for practice anyway. Yet Ivan kept them, treasured them, cared for them, like they were his most precious belongings. Like the earth would shatter if they weren't preserved.

Till stood still, his limbs frozen, his eyes kept open until they started to tear from getting too dry. He blinked, but the scene remained the same. It was real. He started moving his creaking limbs, walking past the walls, looking at everything he had made one by one.

He kept walking until he reached the very end of the room. The wall with only one frame on it. The frame looked simpler, more personal, as if picked out by Ivan himself.

It wasn't painted on a canvas. It wasn't even painted at all. It was made by a flimsy pencil on sketchbook paper, the strokes too familiar for Till not to recognise.

It was one of Till's first sketches since he had come to this world. One he had buried deep within his sketchbook and had kept close to him. He had recently noticed it missing, mourned its loss, and tried recreating it numerous times, though he was never as satisfied with the result as the original.

It was a field, a large tree in the middle, surrounded by a flowery field of anemones and edelweiss. Leaning against the tree, sleeping, was Ivan. A scene burnt into his memory from their past lives. A time they both felt at peace, even if it was only for a moment.

"I didn't steal it from you, I swear." Ivan crept up from behind him, mumbling close to Till's ear. "It just so happened to fall out of your bag, and I just so happened to not mention anything and take it home with me."

Till didn't even care about that. Maybe he would have in the past, but now, that wasn't his main focus. Ivan stood next to him, bumping his body softly into his, leaning against him. "Do you believe me now?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Not forceful, not pushing. Just an honest question.

"Why now?" Till asked, his throat dry. "Why would you show me this now? Why wasn't I allowed in at first?" A question answered with a question. Avoidance at its peak.

Ivan laughed softly, only a breath in the shape of a laugh coming out of his nose. "I figured this would happen at some point. You know, you doubting yourself." He gave Till a small nudge. "I wanted to save this room for a special occasion like this. To strengthen your uncertain beliefs."

"I don't want to get ahead of myself," Ivan continued, scratching his neck, the expensive fabric of his suit making quite some noise as it moved through the silent room. "but you can always come back here. To remind yourself of how I'll always love you, and how you'll always love me."  The last word spoken had some weight to it. Whether it was obsession or desperation, it was too close to distinguish. It wasn't necessary to, either.

To be loved is to be known. Till had heard people say that thousands of times before. Back then, he could only scoff at it. If they really knew him, they wouldn't be able to love him anymore. Or, that's what he used to think. Reality seemed to be much kinder, and apparently, it came in the form of overused, romantic-sounding lines.

He also used to believe that a feeling as strong as hate was clearer than something as vague as love. Yet now that the clouds in his head had evaporated, it proved to be nothing more than a foolish reliance. At least, when it came to Ivan. Sure, Ivan was a difficult person with a personality even more complex. But for Till, loving him came as easy as breathing. He realised that now. It took some time, hardship, convincing, encouragement, but eventually, he came to a conclusion.

Sometimes, all it took was a leap of faith. He was willing to accept everything that jumped on his path if that was what it meant to love Ivan, to be with Ivan. Just like Ivan did for him. There wasn't going to be anyone in the world superior to Ivan. There wasn't going to be anyone who he could build something similar with as he had with Ivan. No one could know him better than Ivan did. No one could love him better than Ivan did.

His heart had made a decision. His mind, his cursed mind, was still running around from place to place, trying to find a definitive answer, recounting millions of possibilites, options, futures. But Till wouldn't listen to that anymore. The only thing he would listen to right now was the sound of Ivan's voice, leading him blindly through that darkness, and trusting in it.

The tears that had subsided for a little while came back to reach the surface, rolling down his cheeks and dropping onto the velvet red carpet beneath them, creating dark, crimson spots. He turned his body to Ivan, grabbing his face. "Yeah, I will. If you allow me." Again, the last word had more weight packed into it than it initially looked. He was asking Ivan about him. All of him.

Now Ivan, the man who Till always suspected had broken tear glands, started crying in front of Till for the second time ever, hovering over Till's face, letting the droplets fall onto him as their tears merged together. His hands moved to Till's waist, pulling him impossibly close. He laughed gently, tickling Till's face. "You're asking that now?"

In response, Till laughed back, seeing Ivan move closer to him. He knew exactly what he was doing. Till followed along.

Their lips sealed, eyes fluttering shut, and everything felt right. This was the moment that everything had been building up to. Their lips were moving against each other, making up for the years they had lost because of their own intricacy.

He was ready to love Ivan now. ...Maybe ready was an overstatement. He was willing to try, for the both of them. No, he was going to do more than just try. He was going to make it certain! Till's hand moved to the back of Ivan's neck, playing with hair, tangling his fingers through the dark, soft locks. In response, Ivan squeezed Till's waist.

Bang!

That was weird. Till had never kissed anyone before, but he was sure as hell sounds like that weren't common.

Bang!

Now it was starting to get suspicious. Ivan didn't seem to care, continuing the kiss, trying to pry Till's mouth open with his tongue. Till slapped his hand on Ivan's mouth, resulting in the fucker licking him.

"Ivan! Stop! Don't you hear that!?" Till said, his voice hushed but alarmed. Panic started to seep in. Where was that sound coming from? Did Ivan lock people up behind the paintings?

Bang!

Ivan seemed to hear it now too. They both moved their heads in sync towards the origin of the sound. It came from the door, even shaking upon impact. Till kept his hand on Ivan's mouth to prevent him from doing stupid stuff like talking too loudly. He held his breath, hoping the person would pass the room.

After a few seconds of complete silence, Till exhaled, relief washing over him. He took his hand off Ivan's mouth, revealing an appealing, challenging smirk. Till wasn't going to be able to leave anytime soon, was he? He moved closer to Ivan, returning the smile—

Bang!

The door burst open, three men crashing into the room, muddied boots staining the carpet. They were armed, large swords unsheathed and ready in their hands. Their uniforms were the same, and also strangely familiar.

The crest on their upper arm was of Till's family.

Now, how would three guards, indoctrinated by a man who despises the royal family and his son, react when they saw said son and a member of the royal family intimately embracing each other? Right.

"Seize him!" The guard in the middle stated. "He has committed high treason to the lord!" The two outer guards ran straight to him, their presence not as threatening as the honed swords exhibited in their hands.

Till had to think and act, and fast. Fuck, he finally had what he wanted, and now it was being forcibly ripped out of his hands and thrown away? Hell no. His breathing accelerated, heart beating against Ivan's, still holding each other tight. He hadn't looked at Ivan yet.

When he did, though, he was surprised. His face, which had been red before, was now a different shade because of his anger, veins on his neck and forehead almost bursting out of their bane. His grip tightened, though not on Till's waist, but on his clothes.

Scared that Ivan would do or say something foolish, Till was the first to make a move. He pushed Ivan away from him, and though it hurt, he felt like he had no choice. Ivan would surely understand, right? "Fuck! Touching me with that filthy blood of yours...! I told you to stay away from me!" Till yelled, trying to keep his tears in. He balled his fists, nails digging wounds into his palms.

He turned to the soldiers who were rapidly approaching. "Can you guys believe it? He—" Fuck. He was grabbed by both arms, no mercy shown whatsoever, almost being thrown to the ground. So his act didn't work.

Ivan ran over to him, only a few steps away. "Hey! What the hell—let go of him! As the crown prince, I command—" Ivan yelled, his breathing irregular, running over to stand in between the two guards and Till, and the soldier blocking the door.

"You are not our lord. We aren't to take orders from a mere prince." The guard by the door said, pointing his sword towards Ivan's back. In response Ivan turned around, moving closer and closer while cracking his fingers and neck—

"Stop!" Till yelled at the top of his lungs, urging Ivan to halt his actions mid-movement. He turned his head slowly, his eyes crazed, deranged. Till's heart clenched, sure that it would break out of his ribcage if this continued. "Ivan, it's okay. Don't put yourself in danger for me. It'll all be okay. I won't go down that easily." Till shushed, his tone of voice softer than the situation around them.

"You expect me to—" Ivan's voice raised, desperately.

"If the roles were reversed, what would you have wanted me to do!?" Till yelled now, the contrast from his last sentence and now too big to dismiss. Ivan was speechless, opening and closing his mouth a few times while trying to find an answer, one they both already knew the answer to.

The guards didn't have time to wait for such a tedious lovers' quarrel, moving hastily past Ivan, pulling Till along with them, dragging his feet encased in his shoes decorated with heavy metal across the floor. "Hey, damn it! I can walk myself!" Though it was in vain.

Surprisingly, the guards weren't dumb. They knew they were in someone else's territory, basically making this arrest stoppable once the palace's guards got ears on this. That's why they moved quickly, not giving Till any chance to resist, almost breaking his ankle in the process.

To prevent Ivan from running after them, the last guard stayed behind, slowly backing up in order for his comrades to escape quickly. Till didn't want to look back, knowing that sight would haunt him.

He closed his eyes, not wanting to see anything. Not someone that passed, not the interior, not the guards, just nothing. The only image that flashed in front of his eyes was of one man only.

The cold night air suddenly hit his face, cooling his heated cheeks down to a temperature resembling that of a corpse. He sighed, fighting back a laugh at the irony. It felt like the earth was sending him subliminal messages. Too many things were happening for it not to be fate. The reincarnation, the roles of their reincarnation, this night, and so many more examples.

He lost the fight, trying to laugh, but nothing more than a few bitter, hacking sounds came out of his mouth.

Christ, he really was reincarnated in a dramatic romance novel. And by the way, this definitely wasn't how the story was supposed to go!

Chapter Text

The last thing he felt before passing out was his head hitting a cold, hard and damp surface.

Everything went black after that.

After being dragged out of the palace and raced to his estate like the path behind them was crumbling down, Till was hauled inside and almost thrown down the steep stone stairs leading to the prison (which they apparently had) before finally being legitimately thrown into a nearby cell, hitting his head in the process.

He didn't quite know what to make of the situation. At the beginning of the night he was anxious, then he was happy, then confused, and now, he was still confused. The timing was awful. It may have been the worst timing to ever exist. Well, at least he told Ivan of his decision now...

He wanted to get back to Ivan, maybe even seek his help, but he also knew Urak and his massive amount of followers and their influence. Of course, the royal family was strong too, but he never in a thousand years would do anything that would bring Ivan into danger. Ivan might argue with him about it, but if their roles had been reversed, Ivan would've probably gone even more overboard, like sacrificing himself or something.

But why exactly was he arrested? 'High treason', they said? Was he found spending time with Ivan? Maybe they had been too careless, too carefree as of late, even though they hadn't spoken to each other for the past four weeks. Maybe them leaving together earlier had set their decision of arresting Till in stone. He definitely had to ask later when a guard came by (and when he regained consciousness).

Finally, after what felt like days and multiple dreams, pleasant and unpleasant ones, he awoke. He slowly opened his eyes, adjusting to the light, though the cell wasn't that well-lit at all. It was closer to complete darkness than fully illuminated.

He supported himself on his arms, a feeling of soreness travelling through his muscles as he did. He picked his face up from the ground, his cheek sticking to the cold stone, causing him to rub over the spot. His fingertips were cold, but so were his nose, his toes, and basically everything. 

Once his daze faded and the blurriness in his eyes went away, he was able to fully oversee the space where he had been thrown into. It was pretty classic, really. Exactly what you would expect of a medieval-setting prison. No windows, a faint light shining inside originating from a torch on the wall, and a single bed, made from hay and a cheap, thin sheet that was full of holes.

Till sighed, moving his body so he could sit upright, running a hand through his hair that was sticking up in the weirdest directions. He was sure his face didn't look its best either. He was still wearing the same outfit he had been wearing the whole night — way too extravagant and now dirty too.

"So our young lord has finally awoken?" A man's voice called out from the darkness, sharp yet glazed with honey, pulling the listener in like a siren's song.

"Hey, don't scare him like that. Who knows what this rich kid has done for him to end up here." Another voice, now a woman's, deep, rich, and a little sharp around the edges.

Right, of course there would be other prisoners here. Because he was so immersed in his personal dialogue, Till had forgotten such a basic detail. "Uh, who am I talking to?" Till asked, hesitatingly, but still trying to sound confident. It seemed they were looking down on him because they knew of his identity, yet they did not know a single thing about his story.

"Is that really what's important right now? Honestly, I'm more interested in the reason why you, the son of this house, are trapped in here." The woman spoke, and Till immediately turned his head towards the direction of the sound. The only thing he was able to make out was a woman sitting on the ground, long hair hiding her features.

Till clicked his tongue. He was pretty fed up already, and now there were people talking to him, trying to act all mysterious. The voice of the man rose. "Did you just click your tongue at her?" He sounded a little more aggressive than he did at first. The man sat on the opposite side of him, golden locks being easier to make out in the dark.

You know what? Fuck it. He was already locked up anyway. Even if they were lackeys of Urak trying to gather information out of him, then so be it. He wasn't going to hide anymore. "I'm in a secret relationship with the crown prince. Though it is not so secret anymore, I suppose."

"Oh." The man and woman both chimed in tandem.

"That's kinda badass, kid."

"Didn't know someone like you would have it in you."

Now what was that supposed to mean? "I did my part. Now introduce yourselves." It felt kind of cool to act like this. Wait. Wasn't he just imitating Ivan?

He could hear the woman in the cell next to him moving closer to the bars, revealing her face clearly. She had sharp features, long, silky, dark brown hair, her eyes coloured in a striking grey. She was beautiful, in a way different from Mizi and Sua. More bold, empowering, and most of all, the determined look in her eyes was enough to make one step aside. "I'm Hyuna, nice to meet you! She winked. "Leader of the rebellion. On the other side is Luka, he's kind of like my second in command, I guess." She added.

"Don't sit so close to her. Or to me." Luka warned him. Damn, great way to introduce yourself.

Though the rebellion, huh... They were mentioned in the novel but never really delved into explicitly. Their existence was only for the male lead to use as a stepping stone, after all. The names of the members were never introduced, only a few faceless members appeared throughout the story to remind the reader of the fact that they did actually exist.

The rebellion was an organisation built out of individuals who had been wronged in their life by nobles, specifically speaking by Urak or his followers. They weren't exactly on the royal family's side either, living life by their own set of rules. Their plans often involved getting in the way of corrupt nobles, with their main goal being the fall of Urak.

Since what they did was considered committing crimes, the whole organisation were appointed as wanted criminals who should be locked up behind bars. The royal family, however, not that oblivious to a secret uprising blooming within their empire, sometimes may have let a few occasions slip. Turn a blind eye to it, if you will. Mostly under command of, you might guess it, the male lead, Navi.

This could either turn out good or bad for him. They shared the same goals as him, which was good. They were probably planning on breaking out of here, which was also good, because he could help them by asking help of the servants (if that was possible from behind bars). What was bad was that he was the son of Urak, the one they so despised and wished to bring down. What reason would they have to trust him?

Maybe it would be best to just talk to them for now and slowly gain their trust. "So how did you guys end up here? Were you caught?" Till asked, picking on some threads on his suit that had come loose due to all the commotion around him the past few hours.

The woman called Hyuna coughed dryly, like she found it awkward. "We were planning on bombing the place," Oh wow. "but we got too... distracted, let's say." He could see Luka staring intently at Hyuna through the bars dividing them. How nostalgic.

"I wouldn't call it distracting. It was merely a small pause before committing ourselves to our job." Luka shrugged, the sparkles in his eyes almost lighting the dimly lit space. When he turned his gaze to Till, they disappeared instantly.

"Luka, as I have said many times, when we're on a mission, don't come onto me, and definitely don't shove your tongue in my throat—"  Till coughed, very loudly. Hyuna immediately shut her mouth, forcing out a laugh. "Ah, the situation is complicated..." Complicated his ass. He was stuck in the middle of a couple's fight.

Luka placed his chin on his arms, pouting his lip like he was sulking. "If you hadn't shoved me out of our hiding spot and just kept going, the guard wouldn't have spotted us and put us here." Luka spoke like an angel. His voice quickly made a 180, turning monotone and uninterested. "Why is he listening to our conversation, anyway?"

Damn, okay. He certainly didn't ask to be there either. "So you two are dating?" Till switched his gaze between the two people, waiting for an answer. Both of them kept quiet for quite a while.

"Yes."

"No."

Both said at the same time, again. Luka was affirmative, Hyuna was not, to Luka's dismay. He went back to sulking again.

"It's complicated, kid..." As she had said before. Well, his attempt at gaining their trust had just turned into another awkward silence again, or so he thought. Now it was his turn to talk. "I bet your arrest wasn't much different from ours." She smirked. Till turned away, his ears changing shade, telling her more than enough.

After talking for some more hours since they didn't have anything else to do, he found out that Hyuna had a brother called Hyunwoo and that they were living with a lot more people who they called their family in a base whose location they did not want to disclose.

Another fact he found interesting was that Luka had actually been a pretty high-ranking noble before, with Hyuna as his personal guard. His family had been pretty close with the royal family, hence, he became a target for Urak's malicious intent. Or rather, Hyuna had been their victim, losing her leg as a result. When Hyuna survived the attack and fled the mansion with her brother, Luka unexpectedly followed suit, with no intention of leaving her alone.

Throughout the hours, Luka and Hyuna bickered on and on (was it really bickering? Till found it hard to disclose), making it clear to Till that they were in a pretty serious situationship. Of course, questions about Ivan and him weren't to be avoided. Till had to make some stuff up about their backstory because of their reincarnation, which he hoped was credible. He tried to stay as mysterious and nonchalant as he could, as talking about his relationship with Ivan only embarrassed him further. They weren't even dating for three whole minutes when he got caught, for God's sake.

While Till and Hyuna were deeply immersed in their conversation, they heard a deep, growling sound coming from one of the other cells. Till, who had sat closer to the bars separating him and Hyuna, grabbed the bars tight, cold sweat breaking out. "What the hell was that?" Though he wouldn't be all that surprised if Cerberus suddenly showed up. Anything could apparently happen in this novel, after all.

Hyuna burst out laughing, loud and snappy. "You're a funny one. It's just Luka. That guy eats whatever is in his sight since he doesn't have to follow a diet anymore." He could see Luka's shadow shrugging at him.

Now was the time. They had all started to get hungry, making it a perfect time to start a conversation about escaping. In all secrecy, of course. He brought his head to the cold, metal bars, placing himself as close to Hyuna as was possible. "Hey," he whispered, catching Hyuna's attention, causing her to lean in too. "do you guys have any plans of getting out of here?"

When he saw Hyuna hesitate but eventually lean in further, he felt a sharp pain on the back of his head. It came along with quite a sound, as Hyuna immediately backed up after hearing it. Till looked behind him, finding a shoe there. He looked at Luka, who had one arm stretched out and, surprisingly enough, one shoe on. "Don't whisper to each other."

First of all, ow, second of all, what the fuck. "You do realise I'm in a... relationship with the crown prince, right? It's not like I'll make a move on her! I have something very important to discuss!" Till tried to say in a hushed voice, trying to not catch the attention of any guards that may be lurking.

Hyuna sighed, giving Luka a certain look he was sure Luka had seen before by the sight of it. "I can't take you anywhere... If you don't get in my way until we get back, I'll reward you with something. Deal?" She looked like she was at her wit's end.

Luka didn't need to be told twice. "As you wish, my queen." Hyuna visibly cringed at his words, while Luka was moving closer to the bars so he could probably eavesdrop on them. Not like it really mattered to Till. Whoever he asked, the information was probably the same, though Hyuna seemed much easier to talk to.

Now hold on. 'When we get back'?  Bingo. So they were planning on breaking out. Till attempted to move closer to Hyuna again. "You're planning on breaking out, right? I know everything about this mansion. I can even get the servants to help. The only thing I want in return is for you to take me with you two." He stared at Hyuna, fully determined, awaiting her answer.

Hyuna stared back, eyes squinted, deeply thinking. "You," she pointed at Till, "cover your ears, for what it's worth. And you," she pointed at Luka, immediately standing up at her call. "We're having a discussion. It feels unfair to decide this all on my own." Till placed his hands on his ears, though he could still pretty much make out every word that was said.

"We should bring him with us. We can't leave him to rot here. He's a good kid, I'm convinced. Who knows what his father will do to him?"

"No."

"I know you—no, we—despise Urak, but do you really think everyone related by blood is the same?"

"...No. But the answer is still no."

"I'll ...(at this point, Hyuna started whispering, and Till was kind of glad he wasn't able to make out what she said)."

"Okay. But I'm not letting him anywhere near you without me being close."

"...Deal."

Till awaited a signal for him to remove the hands from his ears, which he got when Hyuna winked at him. "Congratulations!" Was all she said, but naturally, Till knew what she meant. In his mind, he was pumping his fists.

They were brought food three times a day, the contents being only a stale piece of bread and one cup of water. Though that suit neither of the three's tastes, it was bearable, as they were (hopefully) able to make it out today.

Hyuna had told him that a few members of the rebellion had already made preparations in case they were caught, a fully thought-out plan ready to break them out when times got dire, exactly as they were now. Though their plan had a few holes, everything usually turned out all right if everyone was in tune and worked together.

Though now with Till's involvement, those holes were filled, making their escape almost a definite success already. The one delivering their meals was none other than one of his most trusted maids, the one who had drawn the curtains when he sneaked out for the very first time.

It seemed that she and the other servants had already cooked up a plan of their own too and were quick to cooperate when Till told her about the rebellion and the plan of their own. Though holding the discussions was tricky, Hyuna and Luka were constantly on the lookout in case anything went awry.

And now, not even twenty-four hours after his arrest, he was ready to break out. The plan went somewhat like this:

When the last meal of the day would arrive, the key to their cells would be slipped in along with it. How the servants got hold of the key, Till didn't know. They probably had their ways, as they knew everything and everyone even better than him. Then, when all the guards were getting distracted by an intruder alert (triggered by the members of the rebellion), they would open their cells and sneak out with the help of the servants remaining within the mansion.

As for the problem concerning the rebellion not knowing of the fusion between plans, that apparently wasn't much of a worry, since one of the servants had already sent word to them explaining the matter (who were some of them, really?).

After a successful escape, the only thing left to do was get safely to the stables and flee by horse. Sounded pretty easy, right? And it was supposed to be. Though Till could never be too sure in this world.

As they were finishing their final preparations (like Till finally giving Luka his shoe back), the waiting had begun. Till was convinced of their success, yet his heart started beating a little faster every second that passed. Yes, he escaped from his home multiple times and wasn't scared to open his mouth when he needed to, but breaking out of a prison was still something of a different league.

He started thinking about Ivan. What was he doing right now? Searching for him? Finding ways to free him? Begging the king and queen to take immediate action against Urak? Though Till knew of himself that he was perfectly fine, Ivan had probably already assumed the worst-case scenario, like a death sentence. Once word got out that Till had escaped, he hoped that Ivan would be much more assured and relaxed.

Though Ivan would never be able to hear the words out of Till's mouth, he did miss him. To not have Ivan at his side. Not his company, his warmth — hell, he even missed his constant teasing. All those times he chose to be away from Ivan, he regretted them now. When they finally had the chance to be together, they were forcibly separated.

Come to think of it, Till was very curious about how Urak had planned to keep this incident hushed. The real reason for his arrest would certainly never be published, but he guessed it probably made quite the commotion when he got dragged out of the palace by his own guards yesterday night.

Urak probably had the situation perfectly under control, like the excuse being that Till had drunk too much alcohol and was refusing to go home, or that he had secretly gone to the banquet and the guards had come to collect him for punishment. Something like that. Even before Till reincarnated, Will was known for being a problem child, so no one would even bat an eye.

Then, amidst his crossing thoughts, he heard footsteps descend carefully down the stairs. He saw a figure making its way towards them through the shadows, but still, he had to remain nonchalant until he was absolutely sure the one who was approaching them was the maid. If it was the wrong person and one of them slipped up, they were doomed.

But luckily, all was in favour. The person coming out of the shadows was the maid, carrying their meal and their means of escape. She quickly handed them the goods, keeping quiet, acting normal. The three slid the keys inside their sleeves for safekeeping, now awaiting the signal.

That was step one, carried out successfully.

They exchanged looks between the three of them, momentarily forgetting some of the tension between them, all for the sake of a safe escape.

They kept quiet, pretending to munch on their loaf of bread and act like nothing was happening, when in reality, the whole mansion was about to be engulfed in turmoil. That thought hit Till at the exact same moment as dozens of footsteps shook the ceiling above them. Through the narrow opening on top of the steep, stone stairs, guards yelling 'intruder alert!' could be heard.

Step two had been set in motion.

The assumption that there were no guards around the prison anymore had been as was stated: an assumption. They weren't sure if there was absolutely no one, and to be honest, it would be smarter to assume that there was still someone there, because if there weren't, the guards were just plain stupid. Who would leave prisoners unattended at such a vulnerable time?

The three of them slipped the key into the doors simultaneously, opening them slowly to avoid any loud creaks. Without saying anything, Hyuna signed with her fingers which direction to go in. Luka and Till silently followed, walking on their tiptoes.

Luka stuck close to Hyuna, following her every footstep, while Till was trailing a few steps behind. The prison downstairs wasn't all that large, but it sure was noisy. Every sound was echoed throughout the space, and if not careful enough, that went for footsteps too.

Till tried his best to walk as quietly as he could, but with his metal shoes still on, staying quiet got harder and harder as he went on. After a deathly glare from Luka, he decided it would be best to continue without his shoes, so he quickly whipped them off of his feet (since he didn't have any laces) and made up for the steps he had lost. 

Next to the stairs was the guard post, a room for the prison guard to stay in while keeping watch of the prisoners, coming out once in a while to conduct his routine round of patrol. The three were right in front of the entrance of said post, aligning themselves to the wall to make themselves less seen, with Hyuna being the closest to the opening.

She looked at Till and Luka, nodding to them before bursting in, noiseless, in hopes of surprising and overpowering the guard who was supposed to be in there. Luka and Till quickly followed along, running in after her, to which they found Hyuna standing in an... empty room.

There weren't any guards in the prison. Every one of them had apparently left to find the intruder. Was this because the guards were just dumb or because of insufficient writing of the plot? The three of them exchanged glances while sighing but immediately took the opportunity to climb the stairs right next to them.

Once upstairs, they started moving slowly again, Luka almost tripping because he walked too closely against Hyuna. She didn't really seem to mind it though, it was almost like it wasn't anything unusual.

"Hey! Over here!" From their right, whispers started to reach their ears. There were a few maids standing in that direction whom Till knew very well. They were the maids who always got him ready whenever he went to a formal event. He smiled and started walking towards them, now in front, with Hyuna and Luka warily trailing behind him.

All three of the maids were carrying trolleys which were used to transport food, the typical ones you would usually see in restaurants and TV shows. In sync, they slid the small curtain covering the inside of the trolley aside, inviting them to take place.

And so they did. It was a bit awkward, but it did the trick. Once they got outside, the bricks which they were riding over caused a lot of jolting, resulting in Till's teeth continuously clanking on top of each other. But hey, it was better than walking outside unshielded and getting caught. ...Though he wasn't too sure how three trolleys in a row making their way to the stables were supposed to look. Let's just hope everyone was too busy with the intruders to pay attention to such a detail.

Once the ride got softer, Till knew they were getting closer to the stables. He had travelled the route too many times to forget. He nervously bit his nails, his heart beating faster as they got closer and closer to the completion of their plan. Until he was safe and sound in the building where the rebellion resided, he wasn't trusting anything. Not even his gut.

When he finally started to relax and actually enjoy the ride, he felt something that felt like a huge bump, followed by him completely tipping over, cart included. His head hit the ground quite hard, leading to a dizzy view. The maid pushing the cart immediately ran to his side, asking if he was all right, when he saw two familiar heads stick out of the remaining cards, holding in their laughter.

After a scowl towards them, he noticed his surroundings. The bump the cart tumbled over was none other than the threshold dividing the outside and the entrance to the stables. Up until now, after falling, he had only looked backwards towards the origin of the mockery. Looking forward, it seemed someone was towering over his fallen figure.

Eduardo.

Till opened his mouth to greet him after not seeing him for quite a while but was quickly shut up by Eduardo crouching down to pull him into an embrace. Startled, Till jolted his limbs a bit before reciprocating. The way Eduardo was clutching onto him made his eyes tear up a bit.

"I'm so glad you're safe, Sir Till. You had me worried for a second there." Eduardo said, slowly loosening his grip and pulling back. His eyes were genuine, something unshakeable shining in them. "It may be impolite to say this, but it feels as though you're my real son. That's why feeling worried doesn't even scratch the surface of how I felt."

Those words hit Till like a train. Words he'd never heard before. Words he'd never thought he would ever hear. He smiled, showing his teeth, shaking his head. He was trying very hard to subdue his tears in order to avoid new laughter from behind. "It's not impolite. Feel free to call me just 'Till' from now on."

He'd thought about it many times, how Eduardo had been such a parental figure for him these past few months. He was sure it must have been the same for Will before the two got separated. He was never planning on mentioning how he felt to Eduardo, though. What if he was weirded out by it? Well, he didn't have to worry about that anymore from now on. How lucky he was, even in such a dire situation.

'Mother', 'father', 'parent', words used daily, yet the meaning had never been established to him. It hadn't, until now. He understood the meaning now. Though not related by blood, a familial bond could grow between anyone. He even considered Ivan as his family.

Eduardo helped him get up, discarding the fallen cart as it wasn't needed anymore. He scratched his neck, looking like he wanted to speak but didn't know where to begin. "I heard about the reason for your arrest. The real reason. Word spreads quickly around here, you know." He gave Till a proud grin. "I knew you had it in ya." He patted Till firmly on his shoulder.

Till's face started to heat up, embarrassment reaching its peak. Why was it so humiliating in front of Eduardo? He didn't have much trouble telling it to Luka and Hyuna... From behind him, he heard someone whistle. In response, he raised his middle finger behind his back.

"When you see him again, give him my approval, will you?" Eduardo laughed, obviously teasing Till about it, though there probably was some honesty behind it.

Till never established what to do after he escaped. He'd figured he would lodge with the rebellion, possibly even join them. The main goal was bringing down Urak, of course. But for him to never see Ivan again because of it... No, that would be hell. He was sure Ivan was also pulling strings behind the scenes in order to reunite again.

That's why he had to move quickly. Make a plan, make a move, but not too hastily. He was sure that the next time he would mess up, the outcome wouldn't be as forgiving as this. Being confined and thrown in jail wasn't something people would usually call 'forgiving', but it was certainly better than a death sentence.

With the rebellion on his side, and hopefully the royal family conducting their own mission, Urak's era would be over in no time. What they needed now was a plan, preparation, and undoubtedly a lot of luck. He had to reunite with Ivan, no matter the cost. After all they had been through together, they had to.

He heard a sound behind him again. A single cough. It sounded more like a signal than a clearance of one's throat. Eduardo immediately turned around, motioning his hand to follow him. The three maids disappeared with the carts, leaving Eduardo, Hyuna, Luka and Till alone in the stables.

When they reached the place Eduardo was leading them to, there were three horses lined up next to each other, already saddled and ready to go. One horse stood out in particular. Sparkles.

Of course she would be there. She had been with him since the beginning, so it would only be natural for him to take her with him. He felt kind of sorry to Eduardo, though. Taking the beloved horse he had raised since birth with him to who knows where for who knows how long. He was sure Eduardo had thought it through. He was a selfless man, after all.

"We haven't checked around here yet!" A distant voice seemed to be calling their way. "You go left, and I go right!"

Guards were coming their way. They had to get out of there, and quick. Like they were sleeper agents, the three moved upon the sound, climbing onto the horses and getting ready for departure.

"I'll hold them off, go now while the coast is still clear." Eduardo urged them, hushed, motioning them away with his hands. He gave Till one last look, wrinkles around his eyes increasing before turning around, face no longer visible.

"What are we standing around for? Let's make haste! Till, lead the way!" Hyuna prompted, pulling the reins tight so she could nudge the horse to move. Till didn't need to be told twice, departing immediately towards the secret passage. Luka and Hyuna followed close behind him, leaving no room for mistakes.

The loud voices of the guards barging into the stables could still be heard in the background, but they didn't seem to be a threat to them anymore. The passage was now in sight, the only thing left to do right now was make it through safely, and their freedom would be secured.

It was too soon to relax. Just a few more minutes, and then he could finally release the breath he didn't know he had been holding this whole time.

The gate was there, right in front of him, in all its glory. The three of them passed through, making their way to the road, though not the main one, to avoid unwanted attention.

Hyuna and Luka, who were now riding next to him, were exchanging relieved glances, applauding their teamwork with a high five. Hyuna, who was in the middle, turned to Till, not leaving him out.

Though behind them, he heard more hordes of steps rapidly closing in on them. His heart started to flip, his head beating, and he became nauseous. He didn't want to look backwards, he didn't—

"Well if it isn't our leader!" Leader? Who...? Another person had joined next to them. The road was small, making it cramped for four horse riders to ride alongside each other. Till looked to his side in shock, finding an unfamiliar man next to them.

"Dewey! Glad to see you alive and kicking!" Hyuna enthusiastically returned. The man, supposedly named Dewey, had a broad figure, his hair badly dyed and grown out. He looked kind of dumb, frankly, but trustworthy overall. From the sound of it, he was a member of the rebellion.

From behind, another person spoke up, startling Till. "Who is this guy?" The voice said, and when Till turned his head around, the man was pointing at him with a puzzling look. Well, that makes sense. There was a total stranger tagging along with their beloved leader.

"Isaac! You're here too!" Ah, so the guy behind him was called Isaac. "This guy? That's Till, Urak's son." A lump formed in Till's throat. Why would she introduce him like that without any further explanation!? He totally looked suspicious to them now!

"Well, if our leader brought you along, you must be a good guy. Nice to meet you, Till. My name is Isaac, and the dimwit who is responsible for your cramped position on the road is Dewey." He nodded his head at Till, while Dewey waved his hand in a large gesture. Till nodded and waved back awkwardly.

"Thanks for the distraction back there, you guys. You really saved our asses." Hyuna praised. Isaac shrugged, and Dewey seemed to flex his muscles, for whatever reason. Luka had kept his mouth shut this whole time. "Well then, let's make our way to headquarters, shall we!?" Hyuna yelled, still a bit too loud for Till's preference, but that didn't stop Dewey from responding with a yell of his own.

This was going to be exhausting. But it was for a greater cause.

At least he was free now.

Chapter Text

He had always been a lonely child.

Had been. Until Till came along.

Well, he forced him to come along, truth be told.

Ivan didn't know where he had come from. His mother, his place of birth — he knew absolutely nothing. The first thing he remembered was two hands reaching out for him, lifting him up and carrying him out of the adoption centre he was supposedly dropped off at a week after his birth.

His caretakers would describe him as rather unemotional. He didn't respond much, and neither did he interact a lot with his peers. They were quite worried for his future but were soon reassured when they heard of the loving people who were adopting him.

At first, they were loving. A middle-aged couple with no children, both CEOs of highly respected companies across the country. They had given him a home, food to eat, clothes to wear, and everything his heart desired. Not that it really desired anything.

There were only two rules he had to follow. Number one, always show a smile when in public. Number two, stay obedient to your parent's wishes. Those 'wishes' forcing him to always be the best and keep a good image for his household.

From a young age, Ivan had known he was only adopted for show. To show the world how good his adoptive parents were, what kind people they were for taking in an orphan with nothing to his name and giving him a childhood that other parents wished they could've given their own children.

That was only how it seemed on the outside, however. Ivan remembered the first time he ever disobeyed a rule. He had refused to do his homework, insisting to keep playing outside, catching bugs in the numerous plants and bushes surrounding their mansion.

Once his parents got word of that, when they returned home, the first thing he received was a slap to his face.

He was five years old.

Ivan was a perceptive child. He perfectly understood the meaning and intention behind these actions. And so, he shaped himself into the perfect version they expected him to be. Not out of spite or because he wanted to avoid punishment. It was because living like that provided him everything he needed. If they deemed him useless, they would discard him, and God knows where he would end up next.

Many people would call him a coward, a sheep. He didn't understand why. It was a means of survival to him, coming at a small cost. Simply doing what he was told, just so he could live in comfort. He never asked for more, because he had never needed more. Had never known what 'more' was.

Then, one day when he was six, as he was making his way home from school, he saw a boy that looked familiar across the street. He had recognised him as his classmate, though his name was unknown and his appearance a vague blur. At school, Ivan was always swarmed by other children. He played along with their conversations and ideas, but truthfully, he never remembered anyone's face or name. Why would he?

The same could be said about this boy. Only his shape seemed familiar. He had never seen him around him, always closed off on his own in a corner somewhere.

It looked like the boy was arguing with a man that looked like he could be his father. Ivan stood still and watched the two, though he was not sure why. It was none of his business, after all.

The boy was keeping hold of a lamppost, not budging even a bit when his father tried to pull him along with him, quite forcibly too. Then, the father kicked him. Ivan stood there, still watching, not moving an inch. Ah, was the boy the same as him?

Though instead of keeping quiet and obedient like Ivan was used to, the boy tried to get his revenge, spitting on his father's shoes, big tears rolling down his cheek. He started screaming, yelling, though it was unintelligible from across the street. The father, who looked like his head could pop off at any minute, grabbed the boy with quite some force, handling him with anything but care. That didn't stop any of the boy's screaming.

Ivan didn't move. Even as the two had long since gone out of sight, his eyes were frozen on the spot where they disappeared to.

He was intrigued by the boy. Why did he retaliate so much? What reason was there to? Why didn't the boy act just like him, to make life easier? Why would someone choose the hard way like that, only becoming an obstacle for himself?

Ivan was curious. Inspired, not so. He wanted to know more about the boy. Know more about him and why he acted the way he did. He wanted to know everything. From his name to his hobbies, from the top of his head to the end of his toes.

When he got home, he wrote it down. Wrote down everything that had happened, everything he had remembered about the boy. The pages would be filled as time would go on. He would write down everything he got to know. He was going to know more about the boy, his ins and outs, his mannerisms and way of thinking.

He did think it was foolish to lash out like that. There was no point to it if nothing could be gained, yet the boy still did it. It was admirable, a spirit with a fire that seemingly never went out. Ivan's fire had never even been lit, so it was only natural that something like this piqued his interest.

The next day at school, Ivan pushed his way through the people surrounding his desk, walking straight over to the boy he had been watching the day before. Without saying anything, he reached out his hand, waiting for the other to take it, yet that never happened. He only got a slap to his hand in return, leaving a red mark.

The only thing Ivan could do was simply laugh. Not one that was forced or fake. For the first time in his life, what formed at his mouth was a real, honest laugh. The sensation felt crooked and unnatural, but not unpleasant.

The boy looked at him with fierce eyes, piercing right through him with their teal colour. His eyes were sharp at the corners, glaring back at him like a warning. Like that  would make Ivan surrender. The boy's grey hair was messy, sticking out in places where it didn't look right, a striking contrast to Ivan's neatly combed, well-maintained hair.

Ivan walked back to his seat, sitting down slowly, returning to his normal self. He didn't go back in defeat, definitely not. He would simply keep trying until the boy would finally give in. Even if it would take days, weeks, or months, that didn't matter.

"Ugh, Till is so annoying! Slapping your hand without reason!" One of his fellow classmates said, already swarming around his desk again like flies hovering over trash. Ah, so his name was Till.

It seemed that his classmates knew nothing about this 'Till'. If any of them had seen him yesterday, that slap wouldn't be as surprising to them as it had been to him. Ivan certainly wasn't surprised, already expecting an outcome like this.

His small-minded classmates didn't know anything. Painting Ivan a hero simply because of his smile and achievements, while painting Till the villain simply because of his attitude. If only they knew what was playing behind the curtains. Would they treat them differently?

The days after that were mostly the same. Ivan reaching out, Till slapping him away. Classmates swarming him and badmouthing Till. Internally, he sighed. Externally, he smiled.

Ivan's hand had reddened as the days had passed because of those consecutive slaps. Ivan paid no mind to it, but something in Till seemed to pity him, give into him. From that moment on, Ivan knew he had succeeded.

Till grabbed his hand, guiding him to sit next to him.

From that moment on, they were inseparable. Till didn't want to at first, but Ivan was persistent. They fought a lot, mostly physically, but in the end, they always stuck together again.

Ivan didn't know what made him stick that close to him at first, even when Till kept pushing him away. For reasons unknown to even himself, he kept coming back. Till was so different from him that it almost felt like they came from different planets.

Ivan got good grades, Till didn't. Ivan was well-liked, Till wasn't. Ivan preferred to keep quiet, Till opened his mouth whenever he didn't like something. The only thing that seemed kind of similar was their backgrounds, though neither of the two really talked about that.

Eventually, the other kids got bored of Ivan too, leaving him to himself, or rather, to Till. They were always together, so being around Ivan was no fun anymore if Till was involved. Ivan certainly didn't mind, even being grateful for getting more time alone with Till.

Though both broken, Till had something Ivan never had. Warmth, passion. Ivan was a cold person without a goal, already content with a roof above his head and enough food to live by. Till was someone full of life, making the most of every second he was alive. It was something Ivan didn't understand. Yet gradually, it began to change.

Passion, an intense desire or enthusiasm for something, a barely controllable emotion. A meaning that couldn't be farther from relating to Ivan. For Till, it was perfect. Even when his father cussed him out, hurt him, and trampled on his dreams, Till didn't give up. Living by his own set of rules, defying anyone who dared withhold him.

Ivan never did. He always let Till have his way and just followed him along whenever he could. Those days spent on that grassy plain were heaven to him. Away from the world, just the two of them. Till's mere presence was enough for him. To him, it felt as if Till was living life for the both of them.

As the years flew by, Ivan started to wonder more and more what it was that made him stick to Till so much. Admiration, maybe? No, because Ivan would never act as foolishly as Till did sometimes.

Then, it hit him. He had always believed that warmth was something he could never possess. Yet in truth, Till had infected him with it.

Ivan, a person who had always believed he had been devoid of emotion and compassion, was now carrying that very warmth he had once been so intrigued by. Till had taught him, given him, passed it on.

The emotion he used to hide by calling it something 'understandable' had been right under his nose from the start. Till had been his passion, he had been his warmth. His will to live, his means of escape.

Love. If not that, what else? What else could it be that he felt whenever he was near Till? It was him  who taught him that.

It took him a while to get to that conclusion, though. His feelings were nothing like those portrayed in movies and literature. The way he felt was more intense, demanding, obsessive. Not in an unhealthy way, he supposed. He just wondered what Till was doing, how he was feeling, where he was, if he was hungry, who he was with, when he would fall asleep, when he would wake up, what he looked like at the moment, what— ah. Exactly.

There was not a single second Ivan spent where he wasn't thinking about Till. It felt like he was the reason for his existence. The sole reason why he was abandoned at birth and adopted by those very parents. An interlude waiting for its grand finale.

When he finally realised and accepted his complicated feelings, that's when the real thinking had to be done. What was he going to do with them? Well, the decision was made quickly. He would keep them hidden, as much as was possible.

He wanted what was best for Till. Wanted him to be the one to choose his future himself. If he decided that it lay with Ivan, he would be overjoyed. If not, he would accept it. If Till was happy, he was happy. No matter the outcome, Till was what mattered the most to him. He had owed him his whole life, his whole reason to keep going.

That didn't mean he would let him go that easily. When Till decided that he wanted to go to a college far away, Ivan was quick to apply to that school too. His parents didn't take it very well, but with a few clever words, he managed to win them over. As long as he did what he was supposed to do, as long as he followed those rules, their favour tipped towards him.

So when Till got a part-time job to support his future, naturally, they became colleagues. Till almost threw a fit when he saw that Ivan was standing on the same workfloor, stating, 'You're already a millionaire!'. So what if a proper civilian wanted to do some community service?

Unfortunately, they did not end up as roommates, much to Ivan's dismay. He tried to pull some strings from the sidelines, but alas, it hadn't worked. So when Till's dormmate mysteriously disappeared from campus, it meant that Ivan had, again, more alone time with Till.

Even after finding out about Till's 'secret hobby' (which Ivan had known about from the start), nothing changed. Nothing that Till would do would ever drive Ivan away. It would probably pull him in even closer. He would do anything for Till, from committing a murder to giving him his own life.

And that did happen.

When Ivan saw Till heading straight to that incoming truck, his body moved before his mind could. He ran and ran, the only thought crossing his mind was keeping Till safe. Keeping Till alive. What happened to him didn't matter. He was sure Till could live on with his sheer passion alone. Ivan wasn't needed for that. He would gladly be just a stepping stone for Till to use as his gate to success.

Then, when he finally got his hands on Till, the impact hit. Everything went white, his vision no longer accessible. He couldn't feel anything anymore, only able to keep his thoughts running through his mind like a hurricane. 

He prayed like a madman, praying that he had managed to save Till. He didn't believe in God, but if there was one, he begged to please grant his one final wish. He never asked for anything except Till's happiness. His own wasn't needed, just Till's. There wasn't anything else in the world he desired.

His energy ran out, and as his thoughts faded, so did his consciousness. His prayers never stopped.

When he woke up, obviously, he was very confused.

He was surrounded by countless people he didn't recognise, and his surroundings were far from what a hospital should look like. Everything around him was lavish, coated in gold, bigger than it needed to be. Ivan had grown up in luxury, but even for him, this was too much.

His mind tried to link things together quickly, but due to so many things happening at the same time, it was on the verge of shutting down. As he tried to make sense of everything, in the back of his mind, he could not stop thinking about Till. Was he safe? Was he alive? Were they even in the same universe?

One thing Ivan could state early on was that this was not the universe he was originally from. The setting, the people, the atmosphere — everything was different. A reincarnation, perhaps? How cruel.

His first thought was that he wished Till was here. The thought after that followed fast, denying the previous, because if Till was here, that meant he had died too, leaving behind everything he had worked so hard for only to be reborn and start from scratch again.

The second thing he learnt was that he was apparently a noble. A prince at that. It seemed he had reincarnated into a renaissance-esque world, where the reign of the nobles was still held high and technology had yet to exist.

The people surrounding him were his servants. They came in great quantities and were ready to serve him, because today was his birthday. Another unexpected, unwelcoming surprise.

Ivan had never liked birthdays. No one cared anyway, not even his adoptive parents. They didn't even know his real birthday, so they turned his adoption date into one. Another fabricated thing about his life. In high school, he always got a lot of birthday wishes and gifts. But had those really meant anything?

The only thing that mattered to him was Till, who was especially nice to him that day. He always was, but in his own way. On that special day, he always got him a gift, and no matter what it was, Ivan would treasure it until the day he would die. He even had a special (secret) place for it in his room to keep it safe.

But now, Till wasn't here, and everything went back to how it was before. Ivan quickly assessed the situation, asking a few unsuspecting questions, trying to gather information before being thrown into the deep end. He had to attend his very own birthday banquet, with no knowledge of anything or anyone.

Etiquette wasn't hard to follow, it was almost like his body moved on memory. Before attending the banquet, he had to face his parents, the king and queen. He feigned his calmness, sweating bullets underneath his expensive, restricting clothes. Everything was fine, everything was okay. Something like this was a daily occurence for him. He had faced things worse than this before.

At first, he thought his adoptive parents had reincarnated too. Their faces, their mannerisms, their way of speech, it all seemed too familiar. Too eerie. But they weren't. He was thrown into the same pit as before, yet now, he had to start all over again.

Once the banquet had started, random nobles came flying to him left and right, giving him no chance to explore the palace or search for familiar faces. Or rather, a familiar face. He had always believed that sacrificing himself for Till was something he had to do at some point. That he would be content with it. Yet now that it had happened, he caught himself searching for Till, longing for his presence.

If he wasn't here, that was fine too. It would be better, actually. That meant Till was still alive. That he didn't have to go through the pain of dying. The pain of losing everything. But deep down, Ivan's selfish desires seeped through his selfless mask.

The banquet eventually ended without a hitch. He managed to manoeuvre his way through the conversations, keeping everything casual and neutral, and gaining information through a few simple sentences he tried to put some thought behind.

Other than a girl with pink hair who he was sure was going to say 'slay', nothing worthy of notice had happened. The only thing he had come to learn was that he was the sole heir, and that that was the reason all of those nobles kept clinging to him, trying to win his favour, hoping to improve their importance. Ivan was used to interactions like these, knowing better than anyone else how to handle them and how to forget the people in the blink of an eye.

The day after that felt long and depressing. Ivan wasn't really the type to sulk or feel very emotional, but still, it felt like a part of him was missing. It had gone far away, or rather, he had gone astray, not having any chance to reunite and connect with that part ever again. It pained him, yet he had to stay optimistic and rational. Till was saved, and that was the only thing that mattered.

In the meantime, he, as the crown prince, had to follow special lessons intended for the heir of the throne in preparation. It actually wasn't that difficult at all, since he has had a pretty good education from a young age. It wasn't anything unusual to him, things like these. His major in his previous life had helped him a lot too.

It was so, so boring without Till there. He had no one to talk to, no one to tease, no one whose mere presence and breathing he could enjoy. The only thing he could focus on now was serving the country. He couldn't bring himself to care, though. 

When the lesson had ended and Ivan could finally drop the smile that made the corners of his mouth hurt, he decided to go to the library to read a book to keep his mind off things. A good literature novel usually filled that empty spot. Usually.

He walked along the shelves, refreshing his mind with new titles, as the ones he was used to were no longer available in this world. He had grabbed a book to read the synopsis when, all of a sudden, he heard quite a commotion outside the door. He turned his head towards the door, the direction from which the sound was coming from. It kept getting closer, and eventually, Ivan was able to recognise the sounds as rapidly increasing footsteps.

Before he was able to back away, something—no, someone burst through the door, almost ripping it out of its hinges.

"Till?" Ivan said bewildered, dropping the book he was holding with a loud, resonating thud.

Before him stood Till in all his glory, hair as messy as Ivan remembered, his outfit looking uncharacteristically good on him. Ivan blinked a few times, his mind shutting down from this sudden reveal. He almost dropped to his knees right then and there.

Till? What was he doing here? Why wasn't he still alive in their own world? Why did he die? Had Ivan not been fast enough? Hadn't he protected him well enough?

Amidst his thoughts, he saw Till getting grabbed and restrained harshly by the royal guards and immediately told them off. He didn't process anything of what he was saying or how he was moving. He only remembered keeping Till close to him, holding him tightly with the intent of never letting him go again.

The rest of that day went by in a haze. He had remembered everything that Till had told him, but everything aside from that was a blur. Everything inside him was raging at this discovery, and whether it was positive or negative, he didn't know. Maybe he didn't need to know.

Apparently, he was reincarnated as some guy from a novel Till had been reading and was supposed to fall in love and marry the heroine. As if he would. The original plot had already deviated since he and Till had reincarnated, what was the point of following the storyline?

Luckily, Till didn't push him to do so. Didn't even suggest it, either. For that, he was thankful to Mizi. Perhaps for her presence, or perhaps for the fact that she was a lesbian.

The days, weeks, months after that were the best he had ever experienced. Though they had to stay on their toes in order to see each other, that made every moment even more special than any they had ever experienced before their reincarnation. The fact that Till put in so much effort just to see him made him feel something indescribable.

The feelings and emotions he had tried so hard to keep hidden were all pouring out whenever they could. It was like the brakes that held him back had finally ceased to function. Ivan had realised that disguising his feelings in front of Till had been pointless. He had realised that every second he spent without Till caused him unbearable ache. So even if he was selfish now, he would gladly take that chance. Never was he going to let anything like that accident happen ever again.

Still, if Till didn't feel the same as him, that would be fine. At least he wouldn't have any regrets anymore. If he would be able to move on? Never. But he was content with that. As long as Till still let him be beside him, it would be enough.

And now, it was the opposite. Till felt the same, yet he wasn't able to be beside him.

When he saw Till getting hauled away from him just mere seconds after reciprocating his feelings, Ivan felt a deep and dreadful misery brewing from deep inside.

His first instinct was to run after him, beating down everything in his way. Unfortunately, Till intervened with an argument he couldn't ignore. Ivan felt helpless as he heard stumbles resonating through the hallway, gradually fading as seconds passed. Seconds in which he stared at the floor, trying to make use of his brain.

Figuring his mind wasn't working properly, he stumbled out of the room, leaning on the walls in hopes of support. He didn't feel like himself, but he had to push through. Maybe Till hadn't left. Maybe there was still hope, a chance.

When he reached the front door, he tried to look outside, but before he could, a hand was placed on his shoulder, pulling him out of his trance. "Ivan, what happened? Are you okay? Is Till okay? We saw him getting dragged outside and—" Mizi rambled panickedly, but was stopped by Sua, who placed her hand on Mizi's mouth.

Ivan was panting, his skin as white as a sheet. "Are you able to tell us what happened, Ivan? Let's head to a more private area." Sua replaced Mizi's hand on his shoulder with her own, guiding him into an empty room a little further from the entrance.

"But Till—" Ivan tried to mumble, eyes wide in shock, a vein on his neck on the verge of popping out of his skin.

"They already left. They were gone in a flash, probably not very keen on receiving too much attention." Sua said, opening the door to the room and holding it open for them, she being the last one to enter. They sat Ivan down on an empty couch, after which he immediately sank down with his hands in his hair.

He was still trying to gather his own thoughts, but he had to try and explain the situation to them. Who knows, maybe they could be of help. "They took him. Urak's guards. Something about 'high treason', whatever that is supposed to mean. It's probably my fault. What if they give him a death sentence? Lock him up for his whole life, or—"

A loud clap. Ivan was startled, looking up with his eyes wide. It was Mizi, with a stern look on her face and her hands raised. "We all know Till wouldn't back down that easily. We understand the situation from the bits and pieces we've heard up until now. What you need now, Ivan, is a plan." Mizi's joy and whimsy had disappeared, her serious side coming through whenever her dear friends were involved.

Right. What had he been doing these past few minutes? That was very unlike him. Even when he and Till got separated after that accident, he remained rather calm. The difference was probably their feelings this time. He had to take action as soon as possible. He believed in Till that he would remain safe, but even so, he wouldn't let anyone put even a finger on him.

Though their interaction was brief, Ivan was thankful to the two women. Without their words, he wouldn't have been able to snap out of it himself. Though said words may not have been that special, they still did what they were supposed to do.

Ivan immediately shot up from his seat, his eyes burning with dedication. "I have to go. Thank you for your help." He said, making his way to the door, his hand already reaching for the knob.

Mizi and Sua exchanged confused looks, not sure of how they had helped, but let him go nonetheless. They trusted him. "If you ever need any help, feel free to contact us!" Mizi winked at him, Sua chiming in with a nod. Ivan nodded back, his expression remaining serious before leaving the room and closing the doors behind him.

Behind those massive doors, the banquet was still going. He very much didn't have time for that, and since this was his own home, he returned upstairs to his room. There were almost no servants around, all of them either attending the guests or working in the kitchen.

What he needed now was a plan. Not only a plan to save Till, but also to take Urak and his group down too, to end this mess once and for all.

He had stayed up the whole night, banquet clothes still on and dark circles growing larger by the second. It was nothing bad, nothing he wasn't used to.

Around him lay around a hundred papers, all scribbled upon or arranged neatly with well-written letters. It had been his canvas for the night, finally somewhat understanding how Till must feel whenever he created an art piece.

The final revision was finally done, and as the first sunlight made its way through his half-closed curtains, Ivan gathered the papers in order, arranged from step to step. He stood up, gripping the papers in his hands tight.

At least, he thought he was getting up. In reality, he collapsed in the same place he tried to stand up at, neatly collected papers all scattered next to him. Ivan tried to reach for them, hoping they were still in order, but his arms wouldn't budge.

His vision went dark, and his muscles got numb. Ah, so exhaustion finally hit him, huh? Truthfully, he had been exhausted ever since that night at the market. Unable to sleep at night, thoughts always drifting to Till. Wondering how he was, worrying about him, trying to understand his feelings.

The timing could've been a bit better, though. You know, after he actually saved Till and all. 

As much as he tried to fight it, his body didn't give in, only growing weaker as seconds passed, when eventually, Ivan fell into a peaceful (?) slumber.

He woke up with a start, his face stuck to the wooden floor, leaving an unflattering mark on his cheek. He rubbed his eyes, still a little disoriented, before recalling everything that had happened the night before. He sprang to his feet, already full of adrenaline even though he just woke up.

His eyes scanned the floor, searching for the right stack of paper. It was lying right next to him, and though it was disorganised from when he literally fell asleep, he grabbed it all and put it back neatly in its place.

He looked outside, determining the time of day by the position of the sun, concluding that it was well past noon at the moment. Usually, every morning, there would be servants to wake him up. Even though he absolutely despised that, he found it strange that they hadn't stopped by at all this morning. He was a light sleeper, so even if they did come in and he was still asleep, he would've surely woken up from it.

But that wasn't a problem. There were more pressing matters at hand. He left his room right away after clearing his head, making his way to the throne room where the king and queen were probably residing, greeting guests and answering enquiries all day. How inefficient.

Once he arrived, he didn't pay attention to any of the servants or guards that were around, opening the doors right away without a doubt. Whoever was in there had to leave. Whatever he had to say had priority.

Luckily, when he entered, no guests were there. The king and queen, or rather, his parents, were sitting on their unnecessarily expensive chairs, looking down on whoever stood in front of them. He stepped forwards until he was close enough to go up the small steps. He stopped there, kneeling down on one knee as a form of respect. He hated it, yet his plan could not fail purely because of his nitpicking.

"Mother, Father, I have a proposal." He started, trying his hardest to sound as unemotional as possible. It reminded him of the time in their original world when he had asked them to attend the same university as Till.

"A proposal, you say?" The king spoke, his voice flat and taunting. "Does it have anything to do with that other man that's always loitering around you?" Ivan raised his head. How does he know? A lump started to form in his throat.

The queen shifted in her chair, expensive fabrics rubbing against each other. "What was his name again? Teal, or something? The son of Urak?  Surely we taught you better than that." She was looking down on him, judging, her icy stare infiltrating his conscience.

Taught?  What kind of bullshit was that? They didn't teach him anything, rather, they taught him what not to be. Ivan braced himself. It was time to fight back.

"It's Till. And he's nothing like the man his father is. He completely defies him, disagreeing with everything he stands for. He's trusting, kind, selfless, and so much more. He doesn't even resemble Urak in the slightest and would never side with him. Please, trust my judgement." He pleaded, nearly sounding desperate.

A sigh. "You know what Urak is trying to do behind the scenes, am I right? This could very well be a ploy of theirs, and even if it isn't, they still share the same blood. You are too naive, my son. Those people will never change." The king stated, his eyebrows furrowing from disbelief.

'The same blood'. It's always that tedious argument that comes back. Being of the same blood doesn't define anything. It hadn't for Till, and neither had it for him. Others would say they were biting the hand of the ones that fed them. But others never saw the hand beating them before finally giving them a basic human right.

"If you won't believe me, that's fine." Ivan said after a pause. "But my performances or influence over other nobles has never wavered after meeting Till. In fact, they have only grown. In the small chance my proposal fails, you may separate me and Till forever and do whatever you want with me, but please, listen to the plan I have made." He said, emotion slipping through. Though the king and queen were people who acted without involving emotions, he prayed that their one and only heir would be an exception.

The king and queen both stayed quiet for a moment, exchanging meaningless glances. Ivan held his breath. This was his final and only chance of keeping things legal. If they refused, of course, he would find another way. Secretly, he had also already prepared a plan for that just in case.

"Let's hear it." The queen spoke, her voice just barely away from being an annoyed sigh. Well, a pass was a pass.

Ivan quickly explained his plan to the figures in front of him, showing them the papers he had brought with well-drawn-out graphs and tables to guarantee them of his success. His presentation took a full forty minutes without any pauses or stutters.

Once he was done, he raised his chin, looking at both of them, awaiting their answer. He had prepared everything so meticulously and in such detail that there wasn't any argument worthy enough to mention. He knew that, and the look in his eyes only got more determined as the seconds of silence came to pass.

The king cleared his throat. "We will grant you permission to perform this. Under a few conditions. One, if you fail, you must take full responsibility. What that will mean will reveal itself when the time comes. Do know that you will never see that man ever again. Two, you have to do everything by yourself. We will not help you along any of the steps, you are on your own. Understood?"

Ivan had to try his best to hold back his growing smile. "Of course." He stood up and bowed. "Thank you for your kindness." He turned around to leave the room, the guards outside the door closing it behind him.

His 'parents' apparently had some sentimentality left for their one and only child. Really, it seemed like nothing had really changed from their previous lives aside from the setting. Something like this was bound to happen one day, yet they had both turned a blind eye to it to keep enjoying life on their shared cloud.

Ivan made his way to the study, getting ready to immediately conduct the first steps of his plan. A long road was ahead of him, but there was no way in hell he would fail.

He wouldn't let Till go a second time.

Chapter Text

"Hey, little man! What are you doing?"

Till was sitting in an empty field behind the rebellion's base, leaning against a lone tree in the shade, trying to find some shelter from the scorching sun. He had brought his new sketchbook and pencils with him, which he had gotten from Hyuna as a welcome gift.

It had been two months since Till, Hyuna and Luka had escaped from the prison, also marking it the second month he hadn't seen Ivan. It wouldn't be hard to guess what, or rather, who he was drawing on the empty page in front of him.

Right now, Dewey was approaching him. He looked sweaty and gross, probably from working out. Who even does that in these temperatures?

Dewey had mostly been the one to take care of him while he was staying at the rebellion, along with Isaac. Isaac taught him about political advances and tactics to help with their plan, while Dewey was in charge of training Till physically. While starting a war was definitely not their intention, they were in an era where it was not uncommon, so it was better to take preventive measures. He also had a massive target on his back.

In those five weeks, they had undergone quite some preparation. Hyuna had told him that there had always been thoughts of a large-scale operation like this, but all that was needed to succeed was a final push, the key, the way to fill little holes. And apparently, Till was perfect for that.

And of course, because of the novel, he had some external information.

It would be impossible to know all of the names of the nobles associated with Urak if not for Luka. He still had some ties with an excellent information broker from before he ran after Hyuna. Luka had given himself the reputation of a pain in the ass in Till's eyes, but he was very useful. And a little scary. Till did not want to end up on his bad side.

Because of that useful information, they could start creating small inconveniences for the nobles, like stealing their cargo or causing problems on land that they owned. This would cause the nobles to send their men to those places to investigate, leaving their mansions undermanned and perfect to sneak into.

When inside, members of the rebellion would steal and replace important documents, which could later be used as evidence against the nobles. When all was said and done, the rebellion would present their work to the royal family in exchange for no prosecution against them.

The only problem that arose was exposing the main suspect and perpetrator, Urak.

The man was known to be very suspicious of others, even his own staff and supporters. He rarely let anyone into his study, let alone touch important documents. How lucky they were that Till showed up.

Due to his rebellious nature resulting in lectures, he had the study engraved in his mind, knowing every spot there was if Urak chose to hide those documents. Not only that, but since half the servants were on Till's side, getting inside information was easier than ever before.

Till didn't have any doubts. This plan would be a success, and he would definitely see Ivan again. He was sure Ivan was working on things from his side too. Everything was sailing smoothly, and though the bounty on his head increased by the day, Till didn't have any worries about getting caught. One thing he was sure of at the rebellion was his safety.

The rebellion had been nothing but kind to him since he had arrived. Of course, they needed a little bit of explaining about his background before accepting him, but once they did, they treated him like they had been family all their life. It was a foreign feeling, but definitely not unwelcome.

Till looked up, hiding his drawing by putting it flat to his chest. "What's up?" He asked Dewey, avoiding the subject. He had been victim to a lot of teasing already in the last two months. 

"Hyuna called you in for a meeting, didn't tell me what it was about, though." Dewey responded, coming closer. Before Till could react, he grabbed the sketchbook out of his hands, admiring Till's drawing. "How pretty! And unsurprising."

Till scrambled up to grab the sketchbook back, cheeks a deep red, and not because of the blazing sun outside. "Fuck you! I'm going to Hyuna." You could say they've gotten quite comfortable around each other. He walked towards the building, hearing the floorboards creak as soon as he stepped inside.

Once he reached Hyuna's 'office' (she didn't like to call it that because it made her seem like some big boss), he knocked out of formality, hearing words of approval right after. When he stepped inside, of course, Hyuna wasn't alone. Luka sat in a corner, sipping tea while reading a book. It looked like he was reading, but truthfully, he was keeping an eye on anyone coming in. Till decided to ignore him.

"What did you call me here for?" Till asked, tilting his head as he walked further inside until he reached the desk Hyuna was sitting behind. She was bent over some documents, probably stolen ones in which she needed to find concrete evidence. That also took a lot of time and effort, leaving her buried in work.

Since she didn't have a lot on her hands, she cut right to the chase. "It's time. You should send word to the workers at Urak's estate and infiltrate as soon as you can. Preferably... tomorrow." She looked up at Till, her eyes determined.

Already? Without any mental preparation? Then again, he was just as desperate as she was, if not more. He had no choice but to do it. "Alright, I will. I'll let you know of the details." He understood his mission and so walked out of the room to start the preparations so he wouldn't disturb Hyuna any more.

In the novel, before the happy ending of the male and female lead, they took down Urak, but how they did that was never specified. Since it was a romance novel, the main focus was on the romance, not the political side plot. Will didn't end up so well, unfortunately.

Navi basically took down Urak in a tragic war where he almost died, reuniting with Mizi, the female lead, after, congratulating him for his win and his ascension to the throne. Will was left with nothing — no money, no belongings, and the love of his life had found someone else. That was what Mizi had told him. She didn't want to at first because she didn't want to discourage Till with Will's sad ending, but because Till kept bugging her to tell him since he never got to finish it, she eventually gave in. And since the storyline had changed anyway, Will's ending wasn't relevant anymore.

The tricky thing about the whole mission was that Urak usually never left his office. The only times he did were when he was obligated to attend an event somewhere. It seemed that Hyuna had done her research, because Till remembered something about the most important economical event between nobles taking place in the capital tomorrow, also once mentioned in the novel. There was no chance that Urak would miss such an event to expand his influence and wealth.

That didn't make the mission any easier, though. Whenever Urak went away, the security almost doubled because of Urak's paranoia. He wasn't exactly wrong for that though, since Till was planning to infiltrate and steal from him.

He quickly made his way to his room, which was a lot smaller than he had grown accustomed to, when in actuality, it felt a lot more like home, like what he was used to. He greeted fellow members on his way, another thing he had started doing over the weeks.

He grabbed a paper and pencil, quickly jotting down a few lines containing his plan, hoping it would be enough to understand. After he was done, he ran towards their messenger, giving the person a notice of urgency.

His heart started beating faster, thinking of the day to come, but the fire that kept him going wasn't ready to be blown out yet.

It was the crack of dawn, yet there was Till, making his way to his old home on his beloved horse Sparkles. The grass was still damp, the sun red and slowly rising out of the horizon. He wore a cloak, trying to look as unrecognisable as possible. It did make him look somewhat suspicious, though.

When he arrived at his destination, he slowed down right before the secret passage, making sure the coast was clear in case it got intercepted while he was gone. Luckily, it had yet to be discovered, so he could safely make his way inside.

His attempt at being sneaky failed as always because of the noise coming from Sparkles' hooves hitting the stones, but it also made Eduardo aware of his arrival. As soon as Till set foot into the stables, he was met with Eduardo's beaming face, swinging his arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight hug. It was quite unusual, but not incomprehensible. He had been gone for over two months, after all.

"Have you been eating well?" Eduardo pinched Till's cheek. "My God, look at your build! What do they feed you there for you to be so bulked up all of a sudden!?" Eduardo sounded like a nagging grandma. Till laughed, nudging Eduardo's shoulder.

"So? Has anything interesting happened around here?" Till asked, though he already knew everything. He had been kept aware of everything going on inside the estate from a servant who was willing to work together with the rebellion.

Eduardo sighed. "No, not really. Nothing interesting happens at the stables anyway. The only thing worth mentioning is Urak losing his temper and strengthening security. Though based on how easily you came inside his domain, nothing has really changed." It was funny how Eduardo had difficulty to stop calling Till 'Sir Till' but refused to call Urak 'his lord'.

Eduardo grabbed Till's wrist, pulling him along to a secluded storage space. He got closer to Till, explaining the plan to him.

Just like last time, Till was to be escorted inside in a cart pushed along by a servant. Though instead of bringing him right to Urak's office, they would take him to the room right above, since there were guards keeping watch in front of the office's doors. A cleaner, who had come in earlier that day, would keep the window open just a tiny bit so Till would be able to climb down and safely enter the room. The way back would be exactly the same.

It sounded easy, but the slightest mistake or noise would cause the guards to come rushing in, not afraid to strike him down immediately. That was exactly why he had been training. Strength, agility, and he even had a dagger on him in case of protection. He felt like he was ready to take on the job.

Eduardo grabbed Till's shoulders, forcing him to look at his eyes. "You gave me enough of a scare last time, so don't you dare pull any stunts today." Eduardo sounded stern, but an actually worried voice could be heard underneath.

Till nodded and smiled before being interrupted by a servant joining the secluded space. Till's heart almost flew out of his chest, startled by her appearance when he was already on high guard. She immediately apologised, bowing profusely, not stopping until Eduardo had to physically stop her with his hands.

She escorted him towards the cart she had brought with her, and with a final wave to Eduardo, they left and made their way to the estate. The ride was, unfortunately, as uncomfortable as he remembered, the stairs being a regrettable addition. How she even got him up there made him wonder.

Once he safely got inside the room above the office, he encountered a rope that had already been prepared for him. He sighed in relief, already glad by how smoothly he was sailing thus far, but he couldn't let his guard down yet. The mission had only just begun.

He opened the window, secured the rope, and started climbing down. He opened the slightly ajar window with his feet, effortlessly slipping inside with a clean jump, one he was sure athletes would be jealous of.

He stood upright, his eyes scanning the room. It looked familiar, just as he remembered, though his memories inside the office weren't the fondest he had.

That's when he noticed it. A stack of books, shaking slightly, unnaturally. A piece of paper on top glided off, landing right in front of Till's feet. His breath halted, unsure of what to do. Since he was already inside, he decided to check it out, taking careful steps towards the sudden movement.

Behind the stacks, something was popping out. A few black hairs stuck out, making Till's heart stop.

He continued his walk, slowly, until two piercing but tired eyes connected with his.

"Ivan?"

"Till?"

Ivan slowly rose to his feet, standing on the same level as Till was. They slowly approached each other, quietly, still aware of their unfortunate surroundings.

The thought of why Ivan was here didn't even cross Till's mind at first. Just the sheer sight of Ivan being in front of him washed all his other thoughts away. This meeting was a surprise, yet it was not. Something like this was very like them, was it not?

This was a reunion neither of them had wished for, not now, not at this moment, but God, did it feel good to see each other again. Though the moment was off, the timing would always be right. Every second they got to see each other earlier felt like their lives expanded by ten years.

Tears spilt from the corner of Till's eyes, silently dropping to the floor before Ivan caressed his thumbs over Till's cheeks, halting them with but a simple movement.

Ivan smiled at him, eyes turning into the shape of a crescent moon, a glimpse of scarlet shining through. His tooth stuck out, piercing, familiar, endearing. Exactly how Till knew him. The only thing that had seemed to change was the indispensable eyebags under his eyes.

Ivan moved closer until their breaths were caught and their lips slightly touching each other's. Before giving in, Till belatedly had a question burning on his tongue. He whispered, his breath entering Ivan's mouth. "Why the hell are you here?" It was neither sweet nor strict.

Ivan chuckled against Till's lips, his tooth sliding over the skin. "Take a guess." He laughed softly, intimately.

Till balled his fists into Ivan's shirt, almost making holes in it because of the strength of his grip. His lips trembled, trying to hold a weak smile, all the brazen confidence he had collected over the past two months flying out of the window as soon as he stood eye to eye with the one person he had grown so very fond of.

Ivan's hands had been cupping Till's jaw ever since he had started wiping his tears away, and though the tears had stopped, his thumbs kept making soothing movements, as if Ivan knew exactly what was playing in Till's head right now.

He finally closed the distance between them, their lips slotting together, not needy, not rough, but soft, reassuring, and it felt like it used to. Well, how it had been the three minutes before Till got arrested. Like the piece they were missing had finally reconnected after a long, meaningful search.

It didn't last long, and it didn't need to be.

Because they both had a mission to complete.

They nodded after making eye contact again, immediately locking in and working together. It seemed that Ivan still hadn't found anything thus far, so it was up to Till to take the lead. He walked over to Urak's desk, and though Ivan signed he had been through there already, there was still something Till had to check.

He opened the fourth drawer, something he noticed Urak had been eyeing whenever he was in the room. He cleared the whole thing while Ivan had walked over, standing next to him, eyes burning with anticipation.

From the outside, it looked like a normal drawer. But if one looked closely, the bottom on the inside didn't completely match the height of the bottom on the outside. With a bit of fiddling around with his slender fingers, Till slid the wooden panel out, revealing a stack of papers underneath.

He quickly and carefully grabbed the documents, scanning through them as fast as he could, reading the contents. He was sure. This would be something they could get Urak with. Till even got nauseous of some of the details listed within. He grabbed the replacement file out of his shirt, where he had stored it, and carefully put it in its place. Upon further inspection, one would be able to notice that it definitely wasn't the right document, so he crossed his fingers and hoped that Urak wouldn't check it for the upcoming days.

This went way smoother than he thought it would. He was lucky that his first guess had been correct, because otherwise, it might've taken a longer while.

Till slid the documents in the bag Ivan had brought with him, because Till hadn't been smart enough to bring one himself. Imagine if it rained. All of his plans would've been ruined if that was the case, though the bag definitely wasn't the only reason he was so glad to meet Ivan again. It felt kind of anticlimactic. Surprising? Sure. But they both knew there was no way in hell they would never see each other again. It was only a matter of time.

Without exchanging any words, the two moved to the window, Ivan following Till. They climbed the rope into the room above, Ivan seemingly impressed by the skills Till was showing. He wasn't particularly weak by any means, but whenever they had PE in high school, Ivan would always challenge Till to a duel in any sport, beating him almost every time (almost, since Till had won twice over three years).

Exactly when Ivan stood in the room with his two feet, they heard a noise coming from downstairs. They halted their breaths, listening closely to the sound. It was a guard on patrol, probably walking around to see if anything happened. If there was anything out of place, the other guards would be alarmed, and there wouldn't be any way to safely leave the property anymore.

After a little while, they heard the footsteps fade away and a door close. They were safe. If they had been even five seconds later, the outcome would've been much more dire.

They looked at each other for a moment, letting their expressions speak for them. They were fighting demons within to not talk to each other. They had to wait until they were absolutely sure no one would be able to hear or spot them anymore.

After a few frowns, unrecognisable lip reading and made-up sign language, Till walked over to the door, knocking softly on the wood as a sign that he had returned. When the maid opened the door, she nearly screamed out of shock after seeing Ivan standing behind him. Till bowed a few times out of apology, while Ivan was grinning sheepishly behind him.

Because Till arrived here alone, there was only one cart present at the moment. There wasn't any time to go back and forth, so there was only one option left.

Their foreheads were touching and their legs folded over each other's, barely leaving any room to breathe. Not that either of them disliked it. While Ivan openly enjoyed it, Till tried his best to remain nonchalant, though he was sure his accelerating heartbeat was giving him away. He had to fight back a laugh whenever their heads bumped while going down the stairs.

And finally, after a journey that seemed longer than needed to be (because the poor maid had to push twice the weight), they were back at the stables. Till was sure Eduardo would be delighted  to see Ivan. It looked like he tried to act like the ideal son-in-law in front of Eduardo.

When they got out of the cart (ignoring Till's tumble), the same look of shock as the maid's could be detected on Eduardo's face. He ran over, walking straight past Till to take Ivan's shoulders between his hands. "Your Highness! What on earth are you doing here!? Look at your state! Are you sure everything's well?"

Till had noticed it too. Ivan's complexion had gone pale, and his darkened eyes were noticeable for anyone to see. Till had planned to ask about it later, but Eduardo had beaten him to it. He was genuinely concerned for Ivan. He had never seen him in such a state before.

"Everything is perfectly fine!" Ivan said while putting Eduardo's hands down. "I've been busy with something lately. I'm almost completely sure that it's the same thing Till is working towards. And please, feel free to call me Ivan. I'm not quite a fan of formalities." All said with a perfectly maintained smile on his face. That didn't make his eyebags any less, though.

Eduardo kept staring at Ivan with sceptical eyes. If they were in a cartoon, there would've surely rolled a big drop of sweat down Ivan's cheek. Eventually, Eduardo sighed, walking away. "I'd love to talk more with you boys, but you really should go before things get out of hand, and I'm sure the two of you also have some things to talk about."

Eduardo walked towards Sparkles, picking up another horse on the way. "I don't know how you arrived here, Ivan, but you should leave on one of our horses and go together with Till. If you came by horse, we'll find it and tell others it had run away." As Ivan thanked him, Eduardo started to saddle the horse.

After waving Eduardo goodbye, repeating over and over again that they'd come back to him safe and sound, they rode away through the infamous secret passage. After checking multiple times if no one came after them, they stopped at the entrance of the woods, getting off their horses and walking further inside for a bit to get some shelter.

They finally had some time now to properly talk to each other. There was so much to say, but a lot of things went unspoken. It had to wait for a better time.

"Till, are you well? Have you been eating enough? Sleeping enough? Where do you reside? Are you alone? Do you have enough money? Do—" Till cut him off by putting his hand on Ivan's mouth. That guy and his endless questions... At least nothing had changed since he was gone.

Then Ivan licked his hand, causing Till to retrieve his hand at lightning speed. "Stop that! I've been—"

"Ah, I thought you'd like that by now." Ivan stated blankly, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Till blinked while his cheeks were slowly growing hotter and redder. After a moment of silence, he coughed and continued his sentence. "I've been living with the rebellion. They took me in after I escaped with them, and now we steal documents of nobles associated with Urak in order to expose them." He calmed down, patiently waiting for Ivan's response that came almost immediately.

"Are they nice over there? Do they feed you well? Should I just take you back with me and declare a war?" There was a sparkle in Ivan's eyes.

"What—? No!" Till sighed deeply as he took Ivan's face between his hands. "They've been nothing but nice to me, and don't you dare declare a war. I'd leave if you did that. All our efforts would go to waste." Ivan pouted but was quick to change his expression when Till burst out laughing.

"Sorry for not following you or searching for you." Ivan started, burrowing his face deeper into Till's palms. "Actually, I had already done my research and found out you were residing with the rebellion. Sua told me quite a lot about some guy named 'Luka', so I knew you were in safe hands. But just to be clear, stay away from him." He sounded more strict, mumbling the last few words.

"I will, I will. It doesn't matter that you didn't follow me. That only means you listened to what I told you." Till pinched Ivan's cheek. "So? What has the mighty crown prince been up to? You look terrible." It sounded ruder than he intended to, but Ivan was used to it.

Ivan laughed weakly, the red in his eyes becoming clearer. "I've been doing nothing but research beside my other duties. I've read so many documents, trying to find faults in them, inconsistencies, but I needed something more... concrete. Which is why I ended up where you found me today."

Till had totally forgotten about his shock of finding Ivan in Urak's office. "Right! Why were you there alone? Didn't you ask Eduardo for help? That was so dangerous!" Till responded with a scowl, pinching Ivan's cheek even harder, leaving a red mark where his fingers had been. Ivan didn't seem bothered by it.

"I didn't know if they trusted me... I was the only one who could stop you from being taken away, so I feared they'd resent me for that. I thought it would be better to act alone because of that. It may not be the most justified way to take action, but I'm the crown prince, so I'd like to see them try and sue me for theft."

Till chuckled at his assertion, though there was something that didn't sit right with him in what Ivan said. "Come on, they wouldn't hate you for something like that. Especially Eduardo. Haven't you noticed how he dotes on you? He likes you more than me." Till smiled, taking Ivan into his arms. He had to stand on his tiptoes to completely wrap his arms around Ivan's neck.

However, he didn't feel Ivan hug him back. Instead, he felt him slipping further away, out of his arms.

"Ivan?"

He fell to the ground, hitting his head on the soil beneath. Between his eyebrows was a furrow, but beside that, he wasn't moving at all. Till rushed to the ground, shaking Ivan's shoulders frantically.

"Hey! Ivan! Wake up! What's wrong!?" Till shouted, but to no avail. Ivan didn't open his eyes, lying limp on the ground. Was he overexhausted? Was he dying? Why wasn't he moving? Why wasn't he waking up?

Worry seeped through Till, panic running along with it. It felt so much like deja vu. Ivan lying on the ground, unmoving, pale as a sheet. It reminded him so much of that day that had changed their whole lives. A day Till didn't like to remember.

Adrenaline shot through his body, fuelled by the panic. His thoughts shut off, the only thing on his mind was bringing Ivan to help and safety. The rebellion.

He wasn't sure how they would react. A rookie bringing in the crown prince? They would fry him alive. But still, he had to try. It was the only option he had, because there was no way in hell he would go to the palace or a physician.

He tried to lift Ivan up, but damn, he was heavy. Good thing Till worked out, because if it were around three months ago, he would've never been able to. With great effort, he hauled Ivan over his horse, hoping he would be stable enough to survive a ride.

He got onto Sparkles, grabbing the reins of the other, luckily well-trained horse, guiding it along Sparkles' movements. They rushed in the direction where the rebellion resided, almost making a few wrong turns out of desperation but staying on track nonetheless.

He looked at Ivan, yet the situation hadn't changed one bit. His arms and legs were swaying, but not out of his own will. What if he never woke up? Till would have to follow him. This time, he would be the one to give everything up for him.

They reached the building, storming onto the property like he was going to raid it, and jumped off right in front of the door. He ran over to Ivan's side, manoeuvring him in a way that he ended up on his back. He stormed through the door, yelling for anyone there to hear. He didn't care about anything or anyone else, just Ivan's safety.

A few people ran into the hall, Isaac and Hyuna being part of that group. They ran straight to him, worried but confused looks on their faces. He was scared they would send him away. "Till! What's wrong? Who's that?" Hyuna asked. She used her hand to swipe some of Ivan's hair away, discovering his identity.

Till held his breath, but his heart kept beating out of his chest. Hyuna switched her gaze between Ivan and him, her expression unreadable. "Go to the infirmary right now. Isaac, search for the doctor as fast as you can. I'll accompany the two." Isaac didn't have to think twice, immediately shooting into action and disappearing out of sight.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" Hyuna urged, already moving towards the infirmary. Till had only been there before to treat a small wound he got from training. He followed Hyuna. trying to keep up with her pace while carrying a heavy and uncooperative Ivan on his back.

He ignored the stares of the people he passed. Didn't care about who they were either.

Once they finally reached the infirmary after what seemed like a trip through a labyrinth, Till rushed to a bed to carefully lay Ivan down.

He tried to correct Ivan's dishevelled hair with his finger, sliding over his forehead while massaging the furrow still burrowed deep between his eyebrows. He looked quite pitiful like this, an unexpected and unfamiliar look. Ivan always put on a brave face in front of Till, so vulnerable moments like these were unique to Till. 

The doctor stormed in almost immediately after, rushing to Ivan's side. "I'm going to have to conduct some tests. Would you kindly step out for a minute?" The doctor asked, though there was urgency behind his question. Till nodded, shooting one final glance at Ivan, preferably staying with him, though he wanted what was best for him. They had been apart for quite some time, a little bit of waiting like this was nothing for him.

As he closed the door behind him, Hyuna was immediately on him. "Why is he here? Did you flunk the mission?" It was fair that Hyuna's first thoughts were about the mission. She disliked nobles for a very good reason, and now there was a chance her masterplan got ruined by one of them.

Till sighed, rubbing his watery eyes that hadn't let out a tear yet, because he didn't have the time to. "...I met him inside the mansion. He was there for the same purpose, so we teamed up and left together. After we stopped for a while to rest, ...this happened." Till tried to keep his voice at bay, to prevent it from cracking or sounding weak.

Hyuna raised her arm, putting it over Till's shoulder, comforting him. "Scary, isn't it? I know how it feels. It'll be okay." Till was shocked by Hyuna's kind words. Of course, she was one of the nicest people he had met, but considering her and his background, there was no reason to. He supposed it was because of her brother, Hyunwoo.

"Oh right, here." Till took off the bag in which he had stored the documents. While on the way out, Ivan had given it to him. Now, Till gave it to Hyuna. "Here are the documents from Urak."

A sparkle shone in Hyuna's eyes, and Till could finally let out a small chuckle. Hyuna grabbed the bag, slinging it over her shoulder. Till swallowed the lump in his throat. He knew Hyuna had questions, yet she didn't ask them. It felt unfair to keep quiet. "I'm sorry for bringing him here. After he wakes up, or even after a confirmation he's okay, we'll leave." He avoided eye contact.

"Huh?" Hyuna sounded dumbfounded. "Why would you? He can stay here for as long as he likes. He's an honourable guest, after all." She had a proud look on her face. Till started to question it.

"But isn't it dangerous? Bringing a member of the royal family here? A noble?" Till sounded panicked, confusion chiming through his voice. He had been prepared to leave everything behind after the doctor came out of the room.

Hyuna blinked twice, raising her eyebrow. "Well, yeah, sure, but he's your boyfriend, first of all. Crown prince or not, if you're family, then he is too. We trust you, Till." Her smile was warm and playful as she grabbed his head in a headlock and started ruffling his hair.

He almost teared up, his tears being distracted by Hyuna's roughhousing. They laughed for a while after that and discussed some plans while waiting for the doctor to return.

His heart calmed down, and felt like it was home.