Chapter Text
Beatrice and her contractor, Subaru Natsuki, were preparing in their room for the fast approaching knighting ceremony.
Or rather, Subaru was nervously looking at the ground in his brand new knight uniform, and Beatrice was patiently waiting for him to say anything at all.
She wasn’t surprised at how nervously he acted, given just how important the occasion was, but she still found it annoying how he didn’t try to confide in her more. Their contract should have made Beatrice the first person he would go to with whatever troubled him, and yet he seemed to still bottle his feelings up inside.
A knocking sound comming from the door brought her attention to a muffled voice of a maid.
„Barusu, Lady Beatrice, are you two ready?” The servants voice seemed to awaken the boy, making him turn into his usual, lively facade.
„Juuuust a moment longer Ram! This uniform is really hard to put on, you know!” He exaggerated his movement, as if to show the maid behind the door that he really was struggling with the clothes, making Beatrice glare at him from behind.
„Hah, as expected of Barusu, to make a fool of himself even on a day like this. Hurry up, or you’ll make Lady Emilia worry.”
„Hell would freeze over before I would make Emilia-tan frown!” Responded Subaru in his usual, animated fashion. Ram left the duo with a soft scoff.
After he was sure the maid was gone, his face devolved into a dejected grimace, an expression that had become quite common the last few days.
„Subaru?” She tried to get his attention. Her effort proved fruitless when all he did was take a step back, with his face becoming even more worrisome. Understanding that simply calling out to him would be useless, Beatrice came up to him and pinched his arm.
„Subaru, are you okay? You’ve been absent for a while now.”
„Don’t worry Beako, I’m just… thinking over some of the stuff that happened. I think I’m still in shock over the Sanctuary!”
As always, he laughed the matter off, even if his hollow eyes and strained smile have betrayed him.
„… Very well. Just remember that Betty will always support you, in fact.” She walked ahead of him, heading for the door, only to be interrupted when he raised her in the air and hugged her tightly.
„Beako, your cuteness goes off the charts! Trying to play off your concern for me like that is tooo cute!! Just thanks to that I’m not worried about anything anymore! It’s like a superpower! A „Cure it All” adorableness!!”
„Honestly, how can you say such things with a straight face, in fact!”
The spirit exclaimed, and began squirming out of her contractors arms. It was a long battle, with both sides not giving up until the bitter end, but eventually Beatrice came out victorious with a soft kick to Subaru’s side, which produced an overplayed pained yelp from the boy. Freed, she proudly walked to the door, followed by Subaru wearing a miserable expression, clutching at his side.
„Beakooo!! You could have seriously hurt me there!”
„Humph! Betty’s hopeless contractor acts just like a baby, in fact. Hurry it up, Betty doesn’t have all night!”
„Beakooo, you’re so crueelll…”
He opened the door and the two left the room, hand in hand. They walked through the corridor and towards the hall in silence. With the staff still hard at work preparing the place, they were the only people there.
The cool air of the night provided a nice, calming breeze. She heard him take a deep breath as they got near their destination. Taking a look back at his face, it came back to a much more calm, yet still anxious, expression. The improvement made Beatrice relax as well. Only a moment later, they’ve arrived.
The doors stood before them, the only thing left was to open them. Subaru had reached out towards the handle, but hesitated. Something have compelled him to stop for just a second, giving whoever was inside enough time to start their private conversation.
„… Say Ram, have you seen Subaru anywhere?”
„Yes Lady Emilia, he was still getting ready when I last checked up with him. Should I check again?”
„Nono, it’s good he’s not here yet! I have a question for you, I can’t think of an answer myself at all!”
Whatever thoughts of coming in he had, they have all stopped at once. His face showed a rigid expression, as his grasp on her hand had tightened. Concerned, Beatrice decided to stay silent as well, trying to understand what plagued his mind this time.
„What is it, Lady Emilia?”
„You’ve known Garfiel for a while now, haven’t you?”
„…? I have, Lady Emilia, but I don’t see what could worry you about that?”
The half elf grew silent for a little while, and after lowering her voice, continued. They had to stick their ears right to the door to hear the conversation now.
„… Garfiel is quite strong is he not? To defeat the bowel hunter by himself, I mean. I believe there would be no issue if he were to protect me for a while. I don’t see an opponent that could easily win against him.”
„But then, Barusu…”
„Ram, please. Have you seen how he suffered? It would pain me to see him struggle like that even one more time… Both of us would be hurt if that were to happen.”
Beatrice wanted to berate the naive half-elf. Make her apologize for the words she had just said. But a hard tug from Subaru interrupted her, jolting her back with his hastened step. It started off as just a march. It quickly developed into a full out sprint.
Eventually, he had unconsciously let go of her hand and left her behind. She had trouble catching up, and desperately shouted his name a couple of times, catching attention of some other occupants of the mansion, but she paid them no mind. The only person that mattered was Him.
She reached the stables a couple of minutes after him, seeing Subaru finishing up preparations for departure on a very confused Patrashe.
„Subaru…?”
He ignored her query, and instead hopped onto the ground dragon. Still confused, she followed his example, not wishing to be left behind. Just as she was prepared, the ground dragon started to rush along the road, almost ramming some of the guests that came to witness the ceremony. They disappeared into the forest, leaving behind the shouting masses.
They rode like that, with no regard for their surroundings, along dirt paths, forest roads, and through plains, until Patrashe exhausted all of her strength.
Hours after the initial outburst, they have finally stopped.
Winded from the long and uncomfortable journey, Beatrice mindlessly looked around their destination, which appeared to be a meadow. The grass, almost so short the soil beneath could be seen, gave way to the abundant patches of violet heathers. Fireflies that looked almost like spirits in this tranquil night gave additional light to the enhancing scenery.
While she was lost in the surroundings, Subaru jumped off the dragon onto the soft soil beneath, and toilsomely walked over to a small dirt mound. He sat down on it, looking into the distance. She followed shortly after, wincing slightly as she landed.
„… Did you calm down now, Subaru?” Started carefully Beatrice.
He answered without turning around.
„I think I did.” He stopped, shaking his head, apparently realizing how easy it was to see through the lie. „Who am I kidding? I haven’t. Not at all.” Sensing how somber his voice was, Beatrice came closer to him, delicately embracing him from behind.
„How- How could she?! I was supposed to be her knight… And I know I’m weak, I know! I’m pathetic, a total disappointment! I know that well – But why would she give me false hope, and then betray me like that?!” She could see the tears flowing down his cheeks even from behind. Not wanting to see him in such a sorry state, she closed her eyes, silently shedding some tears as well.
„If I was too weak, she should have just told me so! I- I…” He trailed off, words stifled by rough coughs and sniffles. „I tried so hard for her… for everyone… and for what…”
The two settled into silence for a while after that, Subaru because his breakdown worsened making him make few noises above an occasional weep, Beatrice because she waited for him to calm down first.
The world around them, outside of their embrace, did not matter for those few, precious minutes. The only things that did were their shared pain, tears, anger and sorrow.
Slowly, the boy have calmed down until he could form sentences again. He looked in the direction they came from with resentment.
„I bet all of them laugh at me now. At how ridiculous I looked in this damned uniform. At how this fool was so full of himself he thought he deserved to be a knight!”
She hugged him tighter, tears spilling from her eyes.
„I did well didn’t I?! Elsa, Roswaal, The Rabbit, I defeated them all! So why did she look towards Him instead?!” His eyes have dried up as his sobbing came to a halt. His tone changed from rageful to one full of resignation.
„If all that wasn’t enough… then what am I supposed to do to prove myself?” He chuckled. „So pathetic even Emilia can’t bear to look at me.”
He turned his eyes to the night sky. „Maybe… I should just give up?”
She froze. The person that had saved her, that had showed her the way, is now struck with such familiar outlook. She could not accept that. Thus, she finally gathered her courage and spoke up against her contractor’s feelings.
„Subaru. You can’t give up, in fact.”
„Why not? If all that couldn’t even make her look my way, just a little, tiny bit, then WHAT will? Why should I keep trying if even all this effort was meaningless?! Tell me! What’s the point!”
She could not fault him for his feelings. To be disregarded, forgotten. She knew well what it entailed.
„Even so, you can’t give up, in fact. Because even if all others have forgotten you, Betty will remember. Even if everyone else disregards your effort, Betty will respect and praise you. Even if it’s all meaningless – Betty will still follow your chosen path.”
„Why? Why would you go this far?”
„Because Betty chose you, in fact. No matter what her Subaru chooses, Betty will accept it and support him through it. But you can’t give up, I suppose. Because that would mean you’re no longer the person Betty have chosen. Because giving up here isn’t what you truly want to do, I suppose.”
„But – I’ll make even more mistakes, and I’ll make everyone suffer with my incompetence…”
„That’s not important. Betty will comfort you still.”
„I’m weak, all my efforts just doom everyone to a living hell.”
„That’s false, in fact. You saved Betty.”
„No, it doesn’t matter. The lives I failed to save far outweigh whatever I managed to protect.”
No amount of her comforting words could reach him. He wouldn’t, or rather couldn’t, accept them. Subaru would just keep denying them, using whatever self-deprecating excuses he could come up with. He was too deep in his own grief, too focused on the past. If that’s the case, the only thing Beatrice could do was give him a new goal. One he would be willing to accept.
„Betty doesn’t really understand what you’re talking about, in fact. It’s not your responsibility to suffer over the death of every single person out there Subaru. You’re not the sword saint, neither are you a legendary hero. All you need is to be Betty’s Hero, in fact. That’s enough of a burden for Subaru.”
His denial seemed to wane slightly, finally accepting some of her words. Slowly, opening up his heart.
„I guess you’re right, huh Beako? I’m nowhere near Reinhard’s level. But there isn’t anything else but to give up if that’s the case. And Emilia, I won’t be able to take it if she looks at me with pity—!”
She interrupted him, not letting him devolve into another rant about the Half-elf. „Focus on yourself from now on, I suppose. Become stronger. To prove to all of them you were worthy, to prove to Emilia that she was wrong.”
„Focus on myself…? Beako, I can’t just leave everything and—”
She interrupted him again, stopping him from torturing himself with more hateful words. „Why not? They, rather She, have already abandoned you. Being selfish like that isn’t a sin, I suppose. And with all that Betty’s Subaru sacrificed for them, they deserve a small ‘revenge’, wouldn’t you agree, in fact? Just to show them they were wrong about Subaru.”
„Revenge? That’s…”
He paused and looked back towards the starry sky, as if asking for advice. He stayed like that a few more moments, before coughing out a strained laugh, and exclaiming towards the world his new promise.
„Emilia– To the sun that shines over the world, to each and every star there is… To the wind, to the fire, to the waters and the earth… And all the spirits within.”
He abruptly stood up, shouting his vow to the sky.
„To this damned world, that did nothing to help me...”
„To this hateful fire that’s burning me from within…”
„And to every single person that decided to abandon me tonight. I swear. I will get my revenge. I will show you how wrong you all were. I will make you apologize. Emilia. I will show you how worthy I was of being your knight.”
He finished, and turned towards her. „Will you help me, Beako?” He said full of conviction, outstretching his hand towards her. And as she looked towards his face, trying to decipher his feelings through the eyes, instead of the usual grief, guilt and sadness, all she could see was warmth. Something she couldn’t find in them for the longest time.
It was hope.
Those amber eyes that showed her her light, opened the door to a tomorrow. Those same eyes so hollow moments ago, had a bit of that radiant shine they held back then.
„I said so already, didn’t I? I will support you no matter what path you take, I suppose.” She took his hand in hers.
„… We will not return to that accursed manor. Not until I can show this world how worthy I am, Beatrice.” Quieter, he added. „To show myself, how worthy I am.”
A small smile formed on her face. „Betty knows. We’re bounded by our promise. Wherever you go, I follow. That won’t ever change, in fact. I’ll never abandon you, Subaru. That was our contract, our promise, from the very beginning after all.”
All he could do in reply was to give her a genuine, earnest smile.