Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Lethe

I wade through the mountain of trash, gas mask tight across my face, it’ll leave marks when- if I take it off. Something shiny catches my eye. I walk towards it, maybe it's valuable, I hope it’s copper, or better yet, gold. That could feed us for months, possibly years. I pick it up, it’s just a wrapper, I sigh. I shouldn't have got my hopes so high.

“Keep your eye on the mission," I tell myself. "Food, we need food.”

I walk towards the top of the ‘mountain’, where the supply drop will be. I wasted so much time looking at the wrapper, maybe I'll still be able to get something. Hopefully some clothes or hygiene products, or some seeds, for food of course, we can’t plant anything in this soil. Lost in thought I almost get crushed by a piece of scrap metal. I dodge it but next time I might not be so lucky; over the past few weeks the trash falling from the sky has been more frequent. I finally make it to the top. The only things left are some washcloths, tampons -that we don’t need, shows how much the government cares, they won’t even visit- and some beef jerky. I take the washcloths and the jerky. If I had gotten here earlier maybe I could’ve got some more food. I start the 14 mile walk home when my foot slips, sending me tumbling down the mountain. I scream and then everything goes black.

Sorrel

I open my eyes, at least I think; they could have stayed open in my sleep. The days are foggy now, I don’t know the month. I hear a scream that never fades. It stays ringing in the back of my head. Could just be another side effect. My first flare-up happened yesterday, corners of my mouth, opening like paper cuts, I can see it, still, the image of the first day. We don’t know what caused it -or we didn’t- they won’t let us do anything but stare at the blank white walls. I hope they’ll give us water today; the chemical smell has burned through the back of my throat. My left eye is swollen shut. My arms are pale, cold, and unfeeling. I don’t remember if I still have legs.

Last time I saw the outside through the barred window they let the less sick have, it was so covered in vines, but I could still see the second sun. The forest outside has creatures in it that will send even the bravest of us running. I wonder who is on lookout, and who will get the supplies. I hope it’s Vega, Vega’s got good aim. I wouldn’t want them to get hurt in the forest. Or maybe they’re on runner duty, Vega is the nicest of the people that guard the little area of land that still survives. They’ll actually give us all food, not just the ones with no paper, and the ones that don’t bite. I have a paper, papers are no good, they tell the nurses dangerous, but really, it’s an excuse not to feed us. A siren sounds, someone’s escaped again. It’s useless. Where would they go? They won’t be able to escape, even if they did, they would be captured, a big needle to sedate them jabbed in their arm. I wish that whatever happened, hadn't.

Aster

I scrape two rocks together, trying to start a fire. I can’t stop thinking about what they did to my family. They tore their wings out and pulled out their eyes, replaced them with metal. They almost got me too. My back aches, the bloody slits in my back where my wings were make me wish I had gotten bandages. They hurt like hell, the tissue exposed, my bones poking out, surely broken. The pack over my shoulder rubs over the gashes. I rip an eyelash out and put it in a bowl over the flickering fire. I have to work fast, or they’ll find me. I put the grass from my pocket in. When it melts, I spread it on my back, I almost scream at the pain. Finally, I feel my skin knit together again over my muscles, I hope I can get in to wherever those things live, get my family, my wings, and get out. I dump the last of my remaining water out onto the fire, covering my tracks. I hope I can find a stream, and some food. It’s been days since I last ate. I continue to walk aimlessly, ducking behind a bush every time I hear a noise I don’t recognize as an animal. I’d rather seem like a coward than have those things after me again, maybe that makes me a coward, but I’m pretty much the only one alive, at least in the southeast. So, I just hope I’m brave, and cowardly enough.

Wren

click

“All right. Can you tell me what your name is?”

“PAITENT1768."

“Good. Now, can you tell me what your mission is, PAITENT1768?”

“To keep the riots from happening.”

“Perfect, now you may go. There is a taxi outside for you.”

It walks to the car, noticing the bulletproof glass. The driver has a freshly shaved head, covered in scars especially near the implant in the back of its head. It half wonders if its own head looks like that. The driver immediately starts off down a road covered in signs and blood. They drive past white jagged buildings, and people with more signs, more weapons, more fear. People in white, with shaved heads and dead eyes line every street, to protect them, and the police. They round a corner and see another unremarkable building, with high gates, to keep something out, or in. Another solder walks it back to a room, full of others, clad in white, with shaved heads. They all turn to look at it, the newcomer. They don’t blink. At all. I-. No. That’s not right. I? Thoughts aren’t part of my code, I hear voices, spilling over one another.

“PAITENT1768?” Someone asks. “Are you all right?”

It nods and the solder guides it to a bunk bed.

“This is where you’ll be living.”

Chapter Text

Lethe

I wake up at the foot of the pile of trash. Nothing’s broken, I hope. I don’t have the supplies to fix a broken bone. I reach for my bag. It’s gone. They stole all of it. I try to stand up, but my ankle won’t hold my weight. Broken.

“Damnit!”

Rue’ll be so disappointed. I have nothing to show for this week, no food, no water, not even those stupid tampons! I hoist myself to my feet. I’ll have to walk miles with a broken ankle. I hope I can find a crutch or something.

...

I almost fall through the door. I’m sapped, I always am, but I’ve never had to walk 14 miles with a broken bone. I did all that for nothing.

“Lethe! You’re back!”

Rue runs to hug me, she always does. Her arms squeeze around my midsection. Has she gotten taller?

“What’d you get this time?”

I don’t want to tell her. She seems so happy. We haven’t eaten in two days.

“Uh, the supplies are a bit late... But! We’ll have food tomorrow!”

Her face falls.

“How do you know?”

“I-I just assumed. Because if the food isn’t here today it’ll probably be here tomorrow!”

“You’re lying.”

“What?” I chuckle. “No, I’m not!”

She sighs and turns away.

“Fine. I fell and someone took all my stuff.”

Rue has tears in her eyes. “I don’t like it when you lie to me. I’m not a kid anymore!”

She storms to her ‘room’.

I walk to the little area where we keep our things. There’s a wrap for boxing, or something, but that’ll work. I wrap it around my ankle, there isn’t quite enough, but it’ll have to be ok. I’ll have to go out again. I may have to steal but, we need to eat.

The door isn't locked, wonder why. Someone better live here; Rue's too little to starve. I wish I was still living alone, one less mouth to feed. There isn't any more dust than normal, there's a new model of packaging on some of the food laying on the table. Someone definitely lives here. I grab a box of crackers, they have enough to last them a few months, they won't miss it. I slip it into my bag and turn to leave-

"Who the fuck are you?!"

Someone's here. Oh no.

"Oh, I just uh.. thought this was my house, it looks so similar, I was just leaving!" That was an awful lie, if they don't believe it... my stomach sinks as they start to look skeptical. I prepare to book it I don't wanna leave Rue hungry. Again. I've let her down one too many times today.

They narrow their eyes, yep, definitely don’t believe me. I launch myself out the door and promptly fall, at least I know my ankle is still broken. The person just stares at me. I start to try and get up, but my limbs are butter. Everything hurts and I let out a less than dignified little scream. This isn’t the kind of pain I can just push through, like the bi-weekly supply walk. I can’t stop the tears that spill down my cheeks. I hear a chuckle behind me that soon becomes cackling, how embarrassing.

“You know you can just take the crackers, Lethe," they say between fits of laughter.

How do they know my name?

“How do you know my name?”

My voice cracked. Nice. How un-pitiable. I should have said thank you and left before they changed their mind. I’m still on the ground. More laughter.

"It’s me, Linden. You know, from work?”

Oh. Linden. I can’t believe I didn’t remember, same shit-eating grin, same choppy haircut, same scratchy voice; it’s like nothing’s changed. We used to be really close, before, well, this. A memory rushes back: Them daring me to join the fight. The rotting gear with no protection. Getting hit so hard I got concussed. Getting dragged to the bathroom, Linden giggling after shoving a paper towel up my nose. Sitting on the stairs with them, ignoring the burning in my lungs, the cigarettes they buy reminding me why I don’t smoke.

“Why did you have so much stuff?”

“Hm?”

“Why’d you have so much stuff?”

“Why did you sneak into my house?”

This again.

“I forgot how annoying you could be.”

“I hand stuff out to kids and people near The Cuts.”

I snort. “How noble. Some of us get there late, you know? They can’t get supplies if you hog them all!”

“Why were you in my house?”

“Because some asshole stole my shit. Happy?”

They offer me a hand. “Here, you look pathetic, like an easy target.”

I let them haul me up. Better to look pathetic than admit defeat.

Sorrel

Vega’s gone. No one escaped, this is the first time they’ve had to use the alarm system for... that. They left runner duty and now they can’t find them. I heard Delphine whispering about it to the others. I wonder if the other patients could hear them, that one kid’s ears shriveled, they probably couldn’t. I wonder what I look like, the slits in my face haven’t healed. I don’t think they ever will.

I remember before, when Vega’d give me their old ill-fitting clothes and help me do assignments. I wonder who’s screaming, they never stop. In a different world I would ask someone to tell them to stop. Walls in here must be thin, feels like they’re right next to me. I wish Vega’d been on lookout. I don’t know how to deal with the pain in my limbs, constantly asleep, little needles to attack me. I miss the burning brightness of the suns; I’d rather go blind than be in the dark all the time. I hate the flare-ups. Some of the side effects are things that could be explained by viruses, but I’ve been in quarantine for... a while, and everything is -well used to be- sterile.

A sickening although comforting thought strikes before I can push it away: Maybe this isn’t real. Part of me hopes it’s not. The government cares enough to start using us as experiments, dishing out medication. Maybe this is happening in other places, maybe they can fix us. The prospect of escaping crosses my mind. I’ve been laying on a thin cot for long enough to not be able to properly walk. And there’s the restraints, I doubt they need them anymore. Someone comes in. Odd, nobody’s been here in what feels like forever. Although time’s been unable to be caught for so long, the slippery bastard. The person is speaking, it makes no sense. I know they’re proper words, but it sounds like gibberish. The person sighs, clearly frustrated. Then their face lights up and they leave. I nearly cry. My first real interaction and I squandered it. I hear footsteps coming back down the hall and they reappear holding paper and a pen. Thank the gods above. They scribble down the note and hand it to me with a proud grin.

My name is Rex and I want to help you. There’s something bigger going on in those woods and it could be a clue to cure us.

I look up and they give me an encouraging nod and smile. I keep reading.

You’re probably wondering why I want to help you and what happened to Vega. I’m going to help you escape. I want to help all of them, but my best bet is to get only one person and you seem like the best option. Vega’s gone. For good. And I think the forest is to blame. I've been seeing silhouettes in the trees and dirt. I picked you because you were studying biochemistry and I figured that would help. Are you in?

I look up and hold my hand out for the pen.

Your handwriting is atrocious, you don’t use commas, and your T’s look like X’s.

Rex grabs the pen and paper to look over what I wrote.

Is that a yes? Also not to be weird are you deaf and/or mute? I just want to know for adventuring (is that a word?) purposes.

Rex hands it back.

Yes, I’m in, I don’t think I have a choice. No, I’m not deaf or mute, I just can’t understand you, and I haven’t spoke for a long time. Adventuring is a word.

Aster

I slept on dirt in shifts all night, if my makeshift treatment didn’t work there’s a good chance the cuts are infected. I have no idea where those metal monsters live, and surviving without the colony is not at all how I thought it would be, this is nothing like those apocalypse movies.

All the adrenaline is gone, there’s nothing holding me together. I have no food or water. Nothing is going well. I need a plan of some kind, food, water, some sort of weapon. I hope I still know how to make a trap, if it has to come to that.

I should stake out this area, find some berries and sticks, maybe even something I can use for a weapon better than a kitchen knife. I get up, covered in dirt and find some berries that look non-poisonous.

They look like blueberries, if blueberries grew in clumps, maybe they do; I’m far better at identifying herbs and fungi. I won’t have to catch an animal after all. And for that I’m glad; I’m not a hunter and never will be, it’s inhumane. I pluck a few cones of berries and shove some of them in my bag. The berries are quite bland, but they’re food. I continue, hoping to find a stream or another fae, with an actual plan, maybe even one that knows what’s going on.

...

I’ve never been to this part of the forest before, the vines here are way thicker, and I feel like I’m being watched.

There are little red flowers everywhere, ones I’ve never seen before. They have a bit of arcane energy, which means we should know about them. I wish I could bring them back to the colony.

I double over from the sudden pain in my torso. I don’t think that’s a dehydration symptom. I run them through in my head, yeah, stomach pain has nothing to do with dehydration. At least I’m already bent over a bush when the berries from earlier come back up. There goes my food prospect for the next few days. I really need to get better at identifying angiosperms.

I am definitely not good at this survival thing. I would kill for a glass of clean water to rinse my mouth out. I have to get up and get going again, before they find me, but I don't want to. I wanna curl up in a ball, fall asleep and never wake up. I stay on the ground for a while, waiting for one of them to get me. I'm giving up. Fuck this, I can't deal with an apocalypse! An unfamiliar noise ricochets through the forest and I roll behind a bush. Ugh, survival instincts am I right?

Wren

It stays in a very small building with nineteen others. The building must have been a storage shed at some point. The only furniture is four five layer bunk beds. It only has to sleep. It all sits up in one motion, climbs out and leaves in a single file line. A healthy hivemind. The chip is holding up better than we could have hoped. The laboratory is right across the street. They march towards it for supplies and perhaps experimentation. We want to study any side effects and reactions to certain stimuli. It walks in and sits down on the line of stools prepared for testing. A doctor walks down the line of chairs, hooks it up to heart monitors and collects samples of blood. The doctor starts setting up an MRI, we need to make sure the chip doesn't have adverse side effects.

"Is this all for me?"

They're here. Wonderful. They have red dripping from their mouth and covering their lab coat. We should have hired someone less... eccentric, but they're the only person we could find on such short notice.

"Yes Mx. Nyx, we need to make sure everything's okay with the chip."

"Doctor. I went to school and everything. You need to see my certificate buddy?" They say with no small amount of hostility.

"Y-yes, my apologies."

"Mhmm... Oh! We should name it!"

"What?"

"The chip, duh."

"What do you suggest? We were thinking about naming it the Advanced Chemical Artificial Mind Implant or ACAMI, for short."

"Boooor-ing, if you want to be all fancy, just name it the Echo or something - fits with the name of the compony. Don't ask me, I was thinking we name it Felicia," they say, kicking their legs from their position on a table.

"Sure, I suppose the Echo works. Thank you for your time M -Dr. Nyx, have fun with your... creatures."

They walk away, without comment and with blood samples in hand, and either more blood or cherry jam on their person, knowing them, both are quite likely.

The MRI is ready. It lines up neatly, hospital gowns swishing around it. This has to be a success, or we're in for another war.

...

Something's wrong, it notices vaguely. It has pealing skin all over its body, its whole body hurts, and its awfully tired. Its skin looks off. There's someone in the corner, they weren't there before. The blood is off being tested, the doctors will figure it out, and then it can help people, that's all it wanted to do. That's what it will do. Soon. It lays down on its thin mattress, keeping an eye on the person in the corner.

Chapter Text

Lethe

The crackers are a weird weight in my hands as I watch Linden feed the twelve black birds in front of us. They lead me back inside. They're acting all white knight like, feeding birds and the people worse off. They never used to act like this, pulling pranks on everyone even mildly rude to them or their friends, always throwing stupidly awesome parties, always punching anyone trying to get me in bed with them (happens a lot as a bartender). Why are they so put together? Why is the government giving us cigarettes, I wonder as Linden pulls one out of their pocket.

"So, how are things?" Linden asks.

"You're asking me that?! We're in the middle of a fucking apocalypse!" I say. Today has been shit; My ankle is visibly at an impossible angle and incredibly swollen, I had to half hop half drag myself for miles with only a piece of an old support beam cutting into my hand for help, and I only got a box of crackers for my troubles! Rue and I are slowly starving to death and Linden with all their extra shit is asking how things are!? I want to punch something, specifically Linden's stupid smile.

Linden gives me a weird look.

“What!?” I snap. Linden raises their eyebrows.

“You were twitching,” they say.

“You’re so observant. Wow! Can we get a round of applause for you?!” I’m well aware I’m yelling, but I don’t give a little bit of a fuck. “It’s been years I worked with you for years and you didn’t notice?!?!”

“Gods, Lethe, calm down! So what, I didn’t notice earlier? How long have you had whatever the fuck that is,” Linden looks me up and down as they speak.

“Everyone gets so weird when they find out I have-” I trail off. “I just- Never mind I’m being irrational- Never mind! I’m not being irrational! Why are you being so weird about this!?”

“I’m being weird about this!? You freaked out on me when I had a perfectly normal reaction to you acting like you were suddenly having a seizure or something!”

“Yes! You’re acting like I grew a second head! How is that not weird?!”

“Go home, Lethe. We’ll talk about this… soon.” They sound tired. “You’re making a scene.”

“You know what?! Fine! Fuck you.”

“Goodnight, Lethe.”

…

“I got food,” My ankle is purple and puffy. Gross. I need to see Asa. They’re not technically a doctor, but they fix people. They meld skin together and put guts back in, stuff like that. Maybe it’s magic. No one really knows. No one really cares.

Rue pokes her head out of her little area.

“Wha- How?”

“It’s a secret,” I say, smiling.

We sit down at the shitty secondhand table we’ve had since forever. And quickly eat a few crackers each. We need to make these last.

“I need to go see Asa,” I say.

“Hm?”

“I think I broke my ankle,” I say.

“How?”

“The fall I told you about. I fell down the whole pile.”

“Holy shit!”

“Language!” She’s still a kid. Talking to her like this makes me feel so… off. It dangles what could have been just in front of my face. A normal life, maybe we’d go to school; I never made it past my second year. Rue got all the way to graduating her fourth. Maybe she wouldn’t live with me. I’d… be in prison if not for the apocalypse.

My fantasy is shattered.

I haven’t really come to terms with it. I committed real, life-changing crimes. It hurts to know that no matter how shitty of a person they were, being a cop and all, they’re never coming home again.

The riots got really bad, I had no choice. The money wasn’t coming fast enough to feed two people. Working at a bar that gets raided every other Tuesday is not a very lucrative career. I needed to do it. It’s not my fault. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone! But that’s not true, is it?, a voice in the back of my head whispers. I didn’t mean to go that far though, I swear. Look at you, hearing voices? You must be crazy, it taunts.

“Lethe? Are you okay?”

Sorrel

Everything hurts. They’re getting worse. So is the withdrawal. I’m glad I can’t smell the vomit on the floor. I’m hungry too, the tremors and dry heaving takes a lot out of me. My stomach clenches and I lean off the bed as much as I can. Nothing comes up but stomach acid. Disgusting. Rex hasn’t come to visit me since that day. Part of me wonders if they’re real. I miss human interaction. I miss my “medicine”. I can’t stand them. I want it to end. The way everything seems a little too in depth, the people that haunt me, the thoughts that mock me.

I wish my hands were free. I want to put my head through a wall, this isn’t worth it. I want the mercy of death to come, she can have me. What I would give for it all to go away. I want to go back to studying mushrooms. I want a glass of water. I want to walk. I’m awfully bored, I miss my puzzle cubes, there’s nothing to do here but stare at the ceiling.

I wish Rex was real. I need to talk to another person. Of course they’re fake, that would be far too good to be true, escaping. I can’t believe I thought I could.

I’d laugh bitterly to myself, but my throat is too dry, it hurts to swallow, let alone talk… normally.

Vega would tell me that sometimes my speech sounds like baby talk. I’d pout whenever they said that, I’m an adult after all. Sounding like a baby isn’t what adults do. Maybe then I’m not a real adult.

I’m so hungry, my blood sugar must be dangerously low. Every time I throw up it hurts so bad, it feels like my stomach is trying to escape my body. I’d kill anyone for my pills. I just want it to stop. The eyes are everywhere, they always watch me, they never blink. The shadows move when I’m not looking. They’ll move someday for everyone, that’s all I can hope for. I’m not crazy, the scream is just messing with my head.

“Holy shit!”

That’s human speech. I can understand it. Those are words. What if they go away? I can’t be relieved, this could just be a cruel joke.

“Sorrel? Can- oh, you can’t understand me, can you?” Rex is here again?

“Igh- iak!” I choke out, Almost words. Hot tears stream down my cheeks. After all these years I still sound like a baby. “Wait. Holy- why are you crying?! I’ll uh get you water…?” They seem alarmed. Good. At least someone cares enough to be upset by my disgusting display.

Rex rushes back with a glass of cool crisp water in their hand. They make a face at the yellowish vomit at my bedside. They decide to come around to the other side of the bed. They prop my head up and tilt the glass so that the liquid slides down my throat. I greedily drink it all. It’s like ambrosia; soothing the ache in my body. I have far more energy now, it’s like I’ve drank a cup of coffee.

“What happened?” Rex seems genuinely concerned.

“A-are… yo-ou… re…al…?” My voice is barely audible and it keeps cracking. I sound gross and old, but at least I can speak.

Rex just stares at me. They look at me like I’ve grown a second head.

“What kind of drugs do they have you on? What the fuck!? Of course I’m real! We need to get you cleaned up and out of here before those sedatives kill you.” They bend down to unclip my restraints.

I’m going to be free… I think.

“Rex?! What the fuck are you doing!?”

Aster

I lay shaking behind the bush. The loud scraping noise is like ringing in my ears. It reminds me of the day they came for us. There was so much screaming. There was so much blood. I remember it all so well. I couldn’t save them. I don’t understand.

Why?

Tears stream down my face. It’s still burned into the back of my eyelids. Bodies, broken wings– they paint my dreams. I hate remembering. I never want to see anything dead ever again. It hurts to remember. It feels as though I’m violently sick.

I gasp for breath hoping whatever entered the clearing doesn’t hear. I can’t breathe. I can’t think straight. I can’t think of anything but that day.

I was the only one I know of who escaped. I had been gathering mushrooms and when I came back… we were being slaughtered. I ran as fast as I could, with only my bag of forging supplies with me.

I just want to go home. I wish this was all just a bad dream. I want to wake up in my bed and see my siblings trying –and failing– to make pancakes for the rest of the building. I want to come back from getting Juniper mushrooms and see them frantically mixing potions for Lumi that they are in no way qualified to make.

A snout pokes at my curled up form. They’ve finally found me. My iota of luck has run out. I lift my head to meet my fate and am met with… a deer.

It looks at me like it knows all my poor life decisions thus far. Or like it knows exactly how much debt I’m in from the love potions I keep buying down to the shekel.

I shakily move from my fetal position, nose running and eyes puffy.

For the first time in my life I want to die.

I feel like I’ve floated away from my body. I feel like I’m far, far away. Not here. Anywhere but here. I wish I hadn’t escaped. I can’t do this. I can’t rescue the colony. Their only hope is a fae that can’t identify most plants for shit and has no idea how to fight beyond the general idea of “go for the squishy bits”.

I hear a shuffle as the deer walks away to find food. Maybe I should follow it. Before I can really think about it I’m trailing beside the deer. I guess my brain isn't all gone.

I follow it to a stream. There’s fresh water there at least. I look at my reflection in the rippling water. I fix my hair. I want to look presentable when I die. If someone finds me I don’t want them to think I’m… I don’t know, I just want to look presentable.

I dig through my bag. I see the kitchen knife. I’ll miss cooking.

I raise the knife. It stabs through my stomach. I yelp in pain. I pull it out, making a sickening noise. It hurts so much. It’ll be over soon. Blood is gushing out quite fast, I notice distantly. I plunge the knife in one last time. I collapse to my knees. Black tendrils claw at my vision. I’m not finished.

Wren

It wakes up and sees the blind one laying in a pool of its own blood. The others crowd around it and lift it off the ground. It gets some bleach from the bathroom and pours it on the red stain. It suddenly drops the corpse. Its head falls against blood and bleach. One of it leans down to nudge it. It rolls over and its mouth falls open. Small black bugs scurry out. A boot crushes some of them. It looks down to see it’s its own.

Fluid leaks from the dead bugs. It burns away the tiles on the ground. It picks up the corpse. Bleach and blood pool on what's left of the floor, mixing with the fluid eating away at the ground. One of its heads snap down. Stomach acid adds to the concoction. It's thin and white. Chunks of something show through the milky liquid.

It's time to go. It walks out the door, leaving the mess behind. It'll clean it later.

It can't feel its fingers. It lines up inside the testing facility. Its clothes are covered in the mix of the living area floor.
Someone in a lab coat walks in.

“Today we’ll be–”

DO YOU REMEMBER?

I miss my family

I want to go home

It hurts

Help me

“It’s with us.”

“What happened to my guys?!”

“…We– we had to do a system reset, Doctor.”

“Why?!”

“It… stopped responding and went limp.”

“Wait! We’re missing one!”

“We… oh. Oh no.”

“How did this happen?!”

“I don’t know, Doctor.”

“Check the house! DO SOMETHING! This can’t have happened.”

“We’ll look.”

click

Chapter Text

Lethe

The cracker in my hand hits the ground.

It wasn’t my fault. I needed the food. The ring was closing. I had no savings. There were dead moths in my wallet.

The cops kill the homeless. They didn’t deserve it. All those faces, they never got arrested. I saved them. But why doesn’t that make me feel better?

The fleshy back of my mouth is dry. My hands aren’t mine. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. My hands drift to my scalp.

“Lethe? Lethe, what the fuck is going on?!”

“I-I–” I can’t form words. There’s a feeling under my skin I can’t describe, but it’s telling me “rip it off”.

A body is suddenly on top of me. It knocks me to the ground. Little arms are around me.

Rue’s sobbing.

“What do I do? Lethe! Talk to me!”

Breath won’t enter my lungs. Invisible hands are on my neck.

“Please breathe! In and out, okay? Deep breaths.”

Rue. Rue is crying. Because of me. But I can’t seem to care. I’m under water.

There’s a man in the corner. He tells me I’m not right. The bones in my body feel like they’re trying to spill out of my mouth. The walls have eyes. I’m drowning belly up in the kiddy pool. Water burns my lungs. I can’t breathe.

My cheeks feel wet and dry at the same time. Iron fills my mouth.

"Lethe?"

"Repent, forget."

I've lost.

Sorrel

"Del!”

“Don’t call me that. Answer my question.”

“I was gonna take ‘em to get cleaned up.”

“I’m supposed to be doing the checks.”

“I misread the schedule,” Rex mumbles.

“I knew it!” Delphene proclaims.

“Knew what?” Rex slings me over their shoulder. I stifle a groan of pain.

“You’re illiterate!”

“Huh?”

“You told me you don’t really read, you never follow the schedule, and you have an awful vocabulary!”

Rex balks. “I’m not illiterate! I just don’t like books!” 

“Uh huh.”

“I’m not telling you about my educational history.”

“I’m not letting you take the patient for a bath without supervision.”

“Fine. But for the record, I wasn’t gonna do anything.”

Delphene rolls their eyes. Rex winks at me when they turn to leave the room. I can’t believe they had a schedule. I’ve been left alone here for weeks at the very least. 

They walk to another area. This is the first time I’ve been outside my room in months. I can feel sunlight hit my skin through the small window in what used to be the lobby. 

Suddenly, Rex veers off the path Delphine is leading us through and starts to run. Their shoes squeak against the linoleum. Someone yells. 

Rex runs through a pair of doors. One smacks into my head. A sun’s zenith washes over me. 

I look up through hazy eyes and see trees for the first time in months. A bitter taste fills my mouth as Rex continues to run. 

“Hold on!”

They jump. I catch a glimpse of where we fell from. Several nurses line the balcony of rock. One aims at us. The rest pull out their own weapons and follow suit. 

I hear a bang. Rex finally stops our fall.

Aster

You know, faes have light bones. It's so we can fly. We're kind of like birds in that way. We're also pretty small. And our vital organs are close together. That means if we get injured, there's a huge chance we die. I'd be dead thirty times over if not for magic and medics.

You know, bleeding out has a specific feeling. I would tell you, but I’m not— you know, awake. I didn’t feel most of it, I passed out pretty quickly. But the last time I almost bled out felt like a migraine mixed with a stomach flu. I don’t remember much from that, so forgive me if I don’t describe bleeding out correctly. If you care about my accuracy from something that happened a year ago and expect me to recall bleeding out perfectly, then you suck.

You know, when you die you start seeing things. There’s someone running towards me. They’re drenched in water. They’re carrying a body. Maybe the body is mine.

When you die you meet death. They look like you. And they talk like you.

When you die you get a chance to say goodbye. No one ever sees it, though. But you’ll still try.

Goodbye. I won’t miss you.

Wren

click

The door opens. The others sit. They stare. We look at the white stars around Us. They dissolve into a kaleidoscope of black.

It sees Them covering the skies. They’re pieced together of dead fish and plastic and spikes. They tell Us it’s because They tried to appeal to the common denominator: Us. They tell Us it’s because that’s what We’re made of. They tell Us it’s because They didn’t know what else to do.

We tell Them it’s beautiful. The blind one asks Them why. They tell Us They only started it. The blind one asks Them if They can finish it. They tell us We all have to agree. We ask why. They tell us They can’t finish it. They tell us They can’t help us any more.

We ask. They tell us maybe, as they exhale smoke into wind. They tell us perhaps as they spit oceans and cry rivers. They ask us. We tell Them “shouldn’t You know?” They don’t respond. Ash burns into supernovas and They tell Us We didn’t ask the right questions.

We ask what the right ones are. They shrug Their cut up rotting shoulders and tell us. We ask. They tell us “that one doesn’t have an answer.”

We lay there. In the hospital bed. We glisten in the moonlight. The water is full of tadpoles. We can only wonder if They were made of those too.