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Chapter Text

The counselling Arthur has receiving about the treatment his father had forced on his son was going slowly but well, once the new year had started Arthur had made up his mine he was truly going to start again with his life. The yacht was a great start but he needed his personal life back, he needed to own it and not let his past ruin his future. So Arthur contacted Morgana one day to get the worst part out of the way.

“Gana I will tell you, his name. Alice says it is time to let it go, I might be able to stop someone else suffering. But she advised me against confronting him myself.”

It took a second for his sister to realise what he was saying. “I agree, don’t you dare. We can try to do this without you coming into it. Can I ask Gwaine to help me? Only it will mean telling him” Morgana wanted more than anything to make the man pay, she couldn’t do anything about Uther but she could do this.

There was a pause “I don’t want him to despise me” Arthur said.

“Arthur he is your friend, what’s more he won’t say anything either you know that. He has contacts we need to sort this”

She could almost see her brother nodding “Ok I can’t let anyone else suffer, I should have done this years ago. Christopher Ardian.” The name was said fast and quiet.  “He did all the……electric work and beatings, his minions just kept us there.” Arthur’s voice was unsteady but clear.

“Thank you, Arthur, I will let you know how we get on. But how are you doing honestly?” 

“Well, I know it will never leave me but I understand now, it wasn’t me and I am normal. Whether it was experimentation or whether I am bi I am not sure. I have stopped myself from loving anyone. Alice says I am worthy of love where ever I find it. I believe her, but putting it into practice…….”

“You will Arty, I think you may have already, take your time but don’t be afraid.”

“I may not ever be able to have a full relationship but I know that’s not everything. I have lived with this to long. But I will try I promise.” Arthur told her. “I will see Alice less but I will speak to her often. She is a great lady thank you for finding her. She has told me it will be a long process to full acceptance but as long as I accept help and don’t shut myself off,  I will get there. It will never leave me but become my past and not my present, which it has been.”

Morgana was so pleased to hear her brother, he already sounded better. “Someone I know used her. But I am glad she worked for you. Love you”

Morgana sat and pondered before picking up her phone when the call was answered she spoke “Gwaine its me, remember that conversation we had on the yacht? Well I need to speak to you, I am coming to the pub Friday make sure we can have a quiet word on Saturday.” She cut the call off without waiting for a reply.

That weekend as they were sat in the Rising Sun Gwaine kept looking at Morgana but getting no clue. They all had a great evening Arthur seemed lighter than he had for years. They all knew he had been speaking to someone but assumed it was about Sophia. He had spoken to Alice about that but it wasn’t his priority, but they had worked through that. It was early days for him but he felt better knowing he still had his sisters love and respect.

The next day Morgana found Gwaine waiting for her in the security office. He had chased everyone else out. As she entered and sat down he noticed she was nervous. “Well Lady Morgana, you wanted to see me?”

“Shut with the title” she snapped “This is very serious. I need two things from you. The first is what I tell you stays in here and you never mention it to anyone unless necessary for what I am asking. The second is your help.”

Gwaine’s eyebrows rose into his hairline “You are asking me for help.” He sat down.

“Before that I need your promise you idiot”

“One way to butter me up, but you have it. Nothing of what you tell me will go anywhere unless you tell me it can.” Gwaine promised

That was good enough for Morgana she knew Gwaine always kept his word. “Well not exactly nothing as we might need to get the info out there in fact we must, just not my brothers’ involvement unless that surfaces anyway, he knows it might.” She closed her eyes before speaking “When Arthur was a collage Uther did something to Arthur, something I will never forgive him for. Someone else was involved and I want them to pay dearly“

“Carry on” Gwaine told her

“Arthur was seen by Uther kissing a boy..”

Before she said anything more Gwaine exclaimed “I knew it, I knew he was Bi. The sly dog kept that secret”

“Don’t make me regret this Gwaine!” Morgana glared at him. “Uther was a homophobic bastard. He sent Arthur to a man for conversation therapy to cure him. He was starved, physiologically tortured, beaten and had electrodes used on him until he broke and was deemed cured. Part of the cure was to show young teenagers, men and girls alike, gay porn if they got aroused in anyway, they had their genitals shocked. So much so that even to this day Arthur feels pain if he sees same sex couples even kissing.”

Gwaine was shocked this wasn’t what he had been expecting. “The bastard, god I am sorry I ever teased him”

“And me.” Morgana admitted. “I have the man’s name. Christopher Ardian. I want you to use your contacts to find him and expose him. But not involve Arthur if at all possible, he knows it might not be the case. My brother has had counselling and I won’t see him put through any more.”

“You have it. Leave it to me.” Gwaine told her

“Arthur doesn’t want more kids to suffer he feels guilty enough that it has taken him years to get to this point.” Morgana told the Irishman.

“If I had my way the bastard would sit in the electric chair and slowly fry” Gwaine spat out.

“I agree but I doubt Arthur would, he just wants his evil practice stopped.” Morgana said “I will pay anything costs you have”

“Na this is on me” Gwaine told her “I take your brothers money already, time I paid it back. I will let you know how I get on. It might take a while be we will get the bastard.”

“Arthur has no idea where he was taken. Uther drugged him and he was drugged to be returned” Morgana explained.

“I don’t care where in the world he is we will find him” Gwaine promised. “Don’t worry I will keep Arthurs name out of this if we can, if it comes out it won’t be from me.”

“Thank you Gwaine” she hugged him and left the room. Feeling that for the first time Ardian would pay in full. Gwaine was a loyal friend and tenacious.

Chapter Text

Merlin meanwhile was gradually coming to terms with having a father, he had visited Wales since his father had arrived there on leave for Christmas. They had all spoken. It was clear his mother was happy and he wouldn’t jeopardise that, he knew if he objected, she would put his feelings first. So, he spoke to his parents separately and decided he had no choice.   But admitted it would take time before he would call Balinor dad if ever. He told the man he hadn’t better ever hurt his mother again. And gave his blessing to his mother. They were to marry as soon as they could arrange it.  Balinor wanted to give up his job saying he had saved enough and was getting too old to travel the world and wanted to spend the time with Hunith. Hunith wasn’t ready to give up her job but would cut her hours further. Balinor gave in his notice to Alitor. Who immediate asked Balinor if he would come back as a captain when he went on longer trips to the poles and he could bring Hunith with him. For other trips Alitor would use another but have two for long trips ensuring they both had adequate rest periods. They discussed it between themselves and with Merlin and agreed it was a good compromise. Balinor had been traveling all this adult life and this was a way to still treat the itch.  It wouldn’t happen often as Alitor had two yachts and wasn’t planning artic trips very often, He was going to charter Catha 2 out occasionally when he wasn’t using it personally but Balinor wouldn’t be used for charters.

Everything seemed to be settling down. Percy was visiting Wales on his days off to see Freya and to everyone’s surprise she moved in with him once the New Year was over, they didn’t want to marry. But with Hunith and Balinor now sharing the cottage it seemed a natural progression. Merlin gave Percy the same talk as he had given Balinor and Percy had promised never to hurt Freya. Arthur gave them a small cottage near the main house. Mordred had already progressed his relationship with Kara and they had a flat over the gatehouse.  Gwaine now lived in the second flat by himself. But as he was openly seeing Elena everyone wondered when or if that would become permanent.

Arthur looked at them all and had never felt so lonely. He accepted he did like Merlin but wasn’t sure if he could ever move forward enough to give the younger man enough to make anything work and also whether Merlin actually liked him. Even if Morgana said he did.

Gwen was pregnant once more and Lance was like a cat that had got the cream. Merlin was forever checking on his friend to make sure she was OK. It was clear to everyone who the godfather would be. He adored Tom already and was very close to the family.  With everyone busy with their own relationships Arthur had more time to brood. In a way he cursed his counselling. It had made him understand he didn’t need to be alone. He could build a relationship, even if it might be a different sort than most couples had. 

Then Merlin returned after the New Year. Which made Arthur more aware of the problems he had and the loneliness he was increasingly feeling.

On evening in early January Arthur started to look at his list to make up his mind where to go next. He wasn’t planning to go until March but wanted to start thinking, He had decided on a short cruise this time and it was where was best to go. Short trips meant he couldn’t chase the weather and he wanted to see more flora and fauna. Giving up for the evening he grabbed a glass and a good bottle of whiskey and went to what he and Merlin had dubbed the small snug. It was a small cosy sitting room in the old part of the house. Many of the rooms were too large to be comfortable in when it was just one or two of you. This room was heavily beamed and had old tapestries on the walls. The large fireplace had a fire laid so Arthur lit it and sat back with his glass in hand. He loved this house, it was the one he and Morgana had their best times in as children, normally just with the staff in the summer holidays and Christmas. His father rarely stayed long.  The London house had been where they saw Uther and they were not such happy times. Since reading his mothers diaries he also felt closer to his mother in the house.

The duke started to flip through his phone looking for a day out he had planned by car for fairly soon, they lived a reasonable distance from the world famous Slimbridge wetland and wildfowl trust. It had a lot of winter migrant birds in at this time of the year. He hadn’t wanted to go in the school holidays and so had left it. This got him thinking, they were visiting places far away but there was loads of great nature spots in the UK and nowhere in the UK was further than 70 miles inland, so why not travel round in Ygraine. Frowning he had another point could Ygraine carry a car? Smiling he decided to phone Sunseeker the next day and ask them. This sent him down a rabbit hole, how would they get the car off. Pouring another drink, he sat thinking.

Before long, his mind drifted back to Merlin and his dilemma. What did he have to offer anyone in a relationship besides hangups and baggage, Merlin had enough of his own things to deal with it just wouldn’t be fair, even if he was interested. And Arthur wasn’t convinced he was.

Chapter Text

Before long Arthur had drunk the best part of half a bottle of best whiskey as he sat in the snug pondering his life. Like so many people his drunk mind was not as sensible as his sober one. So, when Merlin walked through the door Arthur gave a beaming smile and said “So my beautiful friend has come to see me.”

Merlin had had a busy day; he was doing well with the translation’s and had actually decided to take some time out to start cataloguing the other books in the library. He had asked Mordred and Percy to lend a hand and had the top shelf of one of the bookcases taken down so he could see them. The house keeping staff had cleaned the shelves ready for them to go back up. After dusting them off he started to catalogue them. In reality he soon decided he would probably need them all down so he could at least put them back up in some order. But this would totally mess up the library for a long time. He decided to ask Arthur his opinion when he saw him. But of course, he hadn’t. After work he had gone to see Lance, Gwen and Tom and had supper with them. Something he did every Tuesday. Tuesdays Arthur usually dined with his security team including Mordred, to catch up with what was happening and what if any changes were needed. He had felt out of place so a new routine had started for him to visit his friends. It was about 10 when he let himself in the side door, it was nearest to Gwen’s house, he went and made himself a milky drink in the kitchen to take his painkillers with. Once made he went to the snug to drink it before retiring. The light was on so he guessed Arthur was in there. Opening the door, he was astounded when Arthur said “So my beautiful friend has come to see me.”

Merlin shut the door to keep the heat in and looked at Arthur “Are you drunk?” he asked then added “You do know I am not a girl don’t you?”

Arthur grinned at him “Come and sit down” he patted the seat next to him on the sofa. “You are still beautiful” he smirked. “Inside and out”

Merlin sat on the chair opposite “How much have you had to drink?” he asked suspiciously, he knew Arthur liked a drink but always in moderation. 

Arthur looked at the bottle “Looks like about half a bottle” he took another sip of his whiskey.

“Well I suggest you stop, you will get alcohol poisoning of you don’t” Merlin stood up “I am getting you some water” he left for the kitchen before Arthur could say more.

When he got back, he put the glass in front of Arthur and took the whiskey bottle away. He then tried to take the glass from Arthur. “Leave it, I need this or I will never tell you” Arthur slurred slightly.

“Tell me what?” Merlin asked his friend. He was now getting concerned.

“That you are a wonderful person, kind, clever, hardworking, beautiful” the blonde told him then frowned as if he was trying to remember something.

Merlin snorted “I know you are drunk but don’t take the piss, that’s not nice at all” he told his boss and friend.

“Not, I mean it. I want you to promise…..”  he stared at Merlin

“Promise you what, that you will have one hell of a hangover tomorrow” Merlin said in exasperation.

Arthur looked at him seeming to have trouble focusing “You’ll never leave me”

“I will one day when I have finished the work. But why do you think I am leaving?” he looked again at Arthur who was still sipping his whiskey. “Look please put that down and drink the water, will you?”

“Yes dear” Arthur told him and put the whiskey down and picked up the water and started to drink it. Pulling a face as he did so.

Merlin took the glass and emptied it in a plant pot “Do you think you can get upstairs?”

Arthur looked at him and said nothing. Merlin sighed he went to take the now empty glass from Arthur before he dropped it. As he did so Arthurs other hand shot out and pulled him down beside him. Arthur cupped his face “Beautiful” he slurred and leaned forward and gently kissed Merlin “I can’t lose you” he pulled Merlin into his arms. “Mine” he purred.

Merlin went red as a beetroot. “You are drunk. Let me go Arthur”

“Never!” came the reply. His head resting on Merlin.

Merlin tried to get up and couldn’t he was trapped “Arthur this isn’t funny”

“Not trying to be” Arthur mumbled

“Then let me go! As I said you are drunk.”

Arthur lifted his head up “Couldn’t tell you otherwise.” He slurred

“Tell me what! Look Arthur let me go and we will talk in the morning when you are sober.”  This didn’t make the other man let him go “You’re hurting me Arthur; you are squashing my shoulder”

With that Arthur immediately let him go “No! I will never hurt you” he sounded distraught.

Merlin took the opportunity and twisted and stood up grabbing his crutch as he did so. “You are to drunk for me to help you Arthur” with that he got out his phone and rang Gwaine who he knew was on duty as Mordred was out with Kara.

When the phone answered Merlin wasted no time “Gwaine can you come to the house. Arthur is drunk as a skunk, he has had half a bottle of whiskey, there is no way he is safe to go upstairs alone and I can’t do it by myself we are in the small snug”

Gwaine told him he was on his way. A few minutes later he came into the room. He took one look at Arthur “Well, I see our Merlin is right” he said walking towards Arthur,

Arthur glared at him “He’s mine! Not yours”

“I am nobodies!” Merlin told him. The looking at Gwaine he said “I don’t know what’s got into him, I’ve not seen him drunk before”

Gwaine grinned “Nor have I for years” He got Arthur to his feet “Come on Princess, lets get you to bed, you are going to have a hell of a hangover in the morning” looking at Merlin “How long as he been drinking?”

“I don’t know I got here just after 10 he said he had half a bottle and that’s not cheap whiskey”

“m’ a Pendragon, don’t drink cheap stuff” came the indignant cry from Arthur who tried to pull away from Gwaine “Merlin will help”

“No he won’t Princess, you are to pissed, you will hurt him, we can’t have that can we?” Gwaine told his friend.

“never hurt Merlin” Arthur slurred

“I know Princess I know” Gwaine seemed amused and he winked at Merlin. “Come on bed with you.”

“I’ll bring up some more water for him” Merlin said as he went to the kitchen as Gwaine hauled a very unsteady Arthur up the stairs and into his room. Merlin followed with the water. Gwaine sat Arthur on the bed and took his shoes off. And started to undress his boss.

“Looks like you have done this before” Merlin said worriedly

“Not for Arthur, I don’t think I have ever seen him this drunk, but I have for other mates” he looked at Merlin “Go to bed I’ll sort him and I’ll keep an eye on him to make sure he is OK”

“Thanks, Gwaine, make sure he drinks plenty of water and no painkillers for at least 8 hours.” Merlin told him. “I hope he’s OK. I wonder what made him drink that much”

“He will tell us if he wants to” Gwaine said “Arthur is a very private person, maybe he just needs to let go” he smiled “Now go to bed.”

Merlin nodded and left to go to his room further down the corridor. Once Merlin had left Gwaine finished undressing his friend and put him onto bed on his side in case he was sick, covering him. He went and collected a bowl and put by the bed. Arthur stirred and opened his eyes “Merlin” he called

“He’s gone to bed” Gwaine told his friend.

Arthur looked at Gwaine “He’s so beautiful”

Gwaine gave a sad smile “That he is Princess, but maybe you should tell him that”

“did”

Gwaine shook his head “When you are sober, mate”

Arthur looked sad “Can’t he’s too good for me”

Gwaine sighed “Getting drunk is not answer Arthur, just tell him properly you idiot”

“He’ll hate me and leave” with that Arthur closed his eyes and a tear escaped.

“You are a complete fool, you two are prefect for each other, promise me you will talk to him properly, put us all out of our misery. You are a good man Arthur Pendragon but for all your clever business mind you are a moron when it comes to the heart.” He stopped when he realised Arthur was dead to the world. “Ah well, looks like I am babysitting until the morning.” Gwaine sat in the armchair and pulled out his phone before settling down for the night. Afterall he wouldn’t want the boss to die by inhaling his own vomit in the night.

Chapter Text

After leaving Arthur with Gwaine Merlin went back in his room and once in bed, he pondered over what had happened, He wasn’t at all sure. Was Arthur so drunk he was talking nonsense or was he really tell the truth, did the duke fancy him! It couldn’t be he was just a damaged and crippled man with nothing worth a man of the duke’s stature. Merlin himself wasn’t sure how he felt about his boss and friend. Maybe it was just the drink talking. Maybe he thought he was trying to be funny or maybe he just meant Merlin had become a friend.  It troubled Merlin in a way he couldn’t understand and it took him ages to go to sleep.

Arthur woke once in the night and stumbled to the bathroom where Gwaine could hear him vomit. On his return Gwaine silently handed him a glass of water. Arthur looked at him “What you doing here?” he demanded

“Making sure you don’t die in your sleep. You sure got pissed” Gwaine smiled “I didn’t know you had it in you”

Arthur started to rummage in his bedside draw “What you after?” Gwaine asked him

“Painkillers” came the reply

“Then stop. Merlin said nothing for 8 hours” the protection officer told him “So if you are hungover man up and cope with it. You drank far to much to risk it man.”

To his surprise Arthur didn’t argue but fell into bed and covered his head. Gwaine didn’t hear from him again until 9 in morning, He silently handed Arthur 2 painkillers and a large glass of water. Once they were both gone, he grinned “Now shower, get dressed and face the music like a man.”  With that he left the blonde to it.

It was clear from the blonde’s reaction he remembered the night before, which was pretty impressive with how much he had drunk.

Merlin was up at 7 as usual and after showering and going down for his breakfast he went and started work, He liked to start early when the house was peaceful. It was three hours later when a clearly hungover Arthur headed for the library. If nothing else he had inherited one Pendragon trait, he was no coward, from what he remembered he had some apologising to do. His father would have said Pendragons never apologise but he wasn’t his father, not for years anyway. Entering the room, he saw Merlin going through a stack of books.

Merlin turned as he entered “Ah just the man I wanted; these books are on the bookcases in such bad order, can I have them all down so I can replace them where they can be found easily? It will mean a mess for ages but it will also allow everything to be cleaned properly.” Merlin had clearly decided to act as if nothing happened the night before.

Arthur was taken aback, but pulled his thoughts together “Why not, but get them put in the great hall on the long table it will make it easier and that room has a wooden floor. That way you can take your time” he paused “But that’s not why I came in. Please take a seat.”

Merlin did as asked and Arthur sat in the opposite chair. “I have an apology to make to you, I was drunk last night but that is no excuse for my behaviour”

Merlin gave a small smile “A Pendragon apologising, this needs recording.” He paused then added “Thank you but you have no need, as you say you were drunk. I am more concerned about how much you drank; you could have suffered liver damage.”

“If I had I would have deserved it” Arthur thought how typical it was of Merlin to be more concerned about him than outraged at the events. “What I said and did was wrong”

Merlin again butted in “Drunks often speak the truth, were you?”

Arthur knew this kind man deserved the truth so squared his shoulders “Yes, but it was inappropriate, you work for me and I am in a position of power. I also manhandled you. I would understand if you want to quit.”

Merlin gave a huge smile “Do I give the impression I would give in to bosses demands just because they have ‘power’ over me. I thought you knew me better. What you said was only inappropriate if, either you didn’t mean them, or of you wouldn’t respect my answer.”

Arthur was impressed once more by the man in front of him “I meant every word, and of course I will respect your wishes. You mean a great deal to me as a friend I would like more but am not sure what I can give. There is a great deal you don’t know, it affects me in ways I am not sure I will ever get rid of. I have a great deal of emotional baggage going back years, I am seeking help but….” He stopped not sure how to go on.

“I have emotional and physical baggage of my own” Merlin admitted. “I also have no idea how much physical intimacy I can be happy with. But maybe together we can at least have company in our misery. If you are sure that’s what you want. But I want you to be sure, so think about it and when you are ready, we will talk again. But I don’t want to be used as some sort of experiment.”

Arthur felt it had gone better than he had hoped. He wasn’t sure what Merlin was meaning about being an experiment but he would leave that for now, He needed a clear head and he didn’t have one. “Coffee?” he asked.

Merlin smiled “Coffee sounds good then I need all people on decks to get the rest of the books down”

“I have created a monster” Arthur said “You won’t get me today, my head won’t take it.”

“If you can’t take the punishment don’t do the crime” was all he got back.

Arthur managed to get a few people together for the afternoon and after covering the table and making sure not too many books were stacked on it, the rest would go on the floors, they started to strip the library of books. There were thousands or that’s what it seemed; Arthur did help for a while as penance. The housekeeping team were set on cleaning and polishing the shelves, Arthur was unsure when it had last been done. Not in the recent renovations as the library hadn’t been touched other than replacement electric switches, The cables ran in buried conduits in the walls so nothing had been disturbed. The books covered three walls and the windows were most of the last wall with a radiator in between.

Merlin was now set to work for ages on the books he had a system of checking the book, recording it, cleaning off surface dust and then stacking them in subject. With all the books being prior to ISBN they couldn’t use that system. Luckily the shelves all had glass door fronts so they weren’t too bad. The shelves and their glass doors took a lot of cleaning but looked very good once done. 

Merlin started on the books stored highest and found several that he immediately stored in the temperature controls cupboards. Some of the lower ones were huge and he glanced at those finding them to be plans of the house, surrounding houses and gardens. Arthur immediately looked at them and discovered more unknown tunnels that would need exploring at some stage if they were still there. He also now had plans to restore the gardens to their former glory if the duke was interested.

Arthur had also sought out Gwen a few days later, he had a mission and was hoping she would help him. Gwen was in her kitchen Tom as a sleep for his nap. Gwen made them coffee and went and sat with him in their sitting room, she was four months pregnant and now showing. After exchanging pleasantries Gwen asked Arthur why he had called.

“I need your help” he admitted. “I want to ask Merlin out for a date, we did speak about a week ago and he mentioned he had baggage, I don’t want to upset him can you help. I know you are one of his best friends, and I don’t know Will. I know a lot is in the press but that’s often not right, it also doesn’t seem right to do that.”

Gwen looked at Arthur “About time! Have you asked him?”

Again, Arthur was shocked to realise almost everyone knew before he did how much Merlin meant to him. “I could, but I don’t want him to dismiss his own background to stop me worrying, If I have learnt one thing about Merlin is he is self-sacrificing and hates upsetting anyone.”      

“True, I will only tell you what you can find out, anything personal that hasn’t reached the papers I won’t tell you. But know this if you hurt Merlin, you will have a lot of people against you.”

“I know, if it helps his mum gave me her blessing ages ago but I was too dense to realise what she was on about,”

Gwen laughed “That I can believe, you never were good with emotional stuff. I recall that from when we dated for those few months, I don’t think we ever talked feelings”

Arthur looked ashamed “I am sorry Gwen, I did like you an awful lot I still do, but we weren’t meant.”

“I know, the minute I met Lance I knew, is Merlin your one?” she asked “Only I didn’t know you liked men”

Arthur closed his eyes. “That is part of my old baggage. I kissed a boy once, before you, Uther found us and well lets say the result wasn’t nice.”

“I’m sorry Arthur, your father was a hard man, but I am sure he loved you in his own way.”

“I’m not sure he did, he loved having a successor he could mould. But we will never know. Regardless it has left me with residue phycological damage, something I couldn’t even admit a few months back.” Arthur was proud of how steady his voice remained.

“I will tell you what you could find out online and maybe a little bit more, but private stuff you will have to ask him.” Once Arthur agreed she continued “Merlin had a hard childhood, being a one parent family wasn’t unusual by then but his mum worked long hours. Shifts at that. He spent time at either our house or Wills when she was on night duty. He was also very clever so got teased. Being Merlin, he also chose to be friends with the unpopular kids, so was picked on for that. It never stopped him.” She smiled at the memory “Wills mum died and Hunith fostered him.” she smiled at the memory “In college he was much the same, he was a year ahead so was the youngest. When our mum died Hunith kept an eye on us. We had dad but it was nice having female support. Merlin went out with a girl a couple of times but she chucked him and told everyone he was a cold fish, that hurt him. In university he worked two jobs so he didn’t take money from Hunith or rack up huge debt. He didn’t drink and party like the rest. He also studied hard and got top marks throughout. When he started work, he also took it very seriously, its not for nothing he made consultant so quickly. In all that time he only ever went on the odd date none went past 3^rd date, he says his shifts got in the way, he dated one guy. That one guy and the girl he first dated went to court for the defence saying he was a cold fish and a loner who couldn’t get on with people his own age. They were trying to paint him as some sort of paedophile in the jurors’ eyes, rather than Freyas husband who had raped his own child! Can you believe that.”

Arthur was shocked he hadn’t picked up on that. He knew that would devastate Merlin who loved kids and would do anything to protect them. “I think they were trying to destroy his career. Luckily the judge had that removed and made both apologise. The prosecuting lawyer was great and destroyed them both in the witness box,” Gwen went on to say. “I guess you have also picked up on how he won’t let anyone see his scars, he was always insecure about his looks, being called Dumbo at school and a twink in later years didn’t help. His injuries made him feel people were pitying him all the time. The papers called him the either disabled or maimed in their reporting and cast him as needing pity. Rather than the hero he was. The injured soldiers where hero’s and someone we should be proud of in the same papers, but not him. As he could no longer help his mum financially and that hurt. He had been paying her mortgage, he told her as he was the only son, he was paying for a house he would inherit one day! It was the only way she would take it. After his injuries he had to move back and his money was cut right back and he was needing it all for his treatment. That’s all I can tell you”

Arthur was sobered by what he had been told “That’s harsh, thank you. Put it that way I can see why he sees himself as he does. I never thought about the hero thing, until covid we didn’t really think of health workers as hero’s. What happened to him was bad and he was innocent but the papers I guess need to sell news. And lawyers protect their clients no matter how guilty. I of course knew how much he loves his Mum and her him. And maybe why he is having difficulties with Balinor.”

Gwen nodded “Merlin is a pussycat, he will come round to Balinor, his Mum means everything to him. If she is happy, he will be. He had started paying his mums mortgage off again since he started working for you, then when he got the reward for that Sotheby’s thing he paid it all off, if you didn’t know don’t tell him I told you.”

“I don’t pay him that much!” Arthur said “what does he keep for himself?”

“Her mortgage was taken out years ago” Gwen pointed out “it’s not that much now and he was just paying it off quicker. He tells me he doesn’t have to spend much at the moment as he has all this meals and room in his wages. Don’t try to interfere, it made him feel good.”

“I guess, that is so Merlin, one of the reasons I am so attracted to him” Arthur admitted

“Why can’t you say you love him? its plain to everyone” Gwen asked

“I didn’t know I was so transparent. I won’t say it unless he wants me to. If he just wants my friendship, he has it. If he is happy, I am” Arthur admitted. “Even if I won’t like it”

“You Arthur Pendragon are a sap. That’s two words I didn’t think I would say in the same sentence.”

“Just don’t tell the world will you” Arthur told her “Thank you, you are a true friend to us both. I won’t tell him we spoke.”

“I will if he asks, I don’t keep secrets from him. He wouldn’t like that” Gwen told him “And you shouldn’t either.”

“Noted” Arthur said as he stood up

“If you want my advice just talk to him from your heart Arthur, and properly, don’t hold back. If he isn’t interested, he won’t cast you aside as a friend that’s not him”

“Easy to say, not easy to do, not for me anyway” Arthur admitted.

“Come on Arthur you can do anything, you have proved that often enough, this is for your future happiness. I think you two were made for each other.” Gwen told him sincerely.

Chapter Text

Arthur walked back to the house after his talk with Gwen, his mind made up, now was as good a time as any, if he left it, he would talk himself out of this, which could be the most important thing he had ever done. Looking at his watch it was coming up to lunch time. He knew his security team were having their weekly meeting so would eat together, Lance was having lunch with his family so it would be just himself and Merlin. It was the house staffs afternoon off and Audrey would be leaving a lunch laid out in the small dining room. Walking straight to the old part of the house and the long hall, where he knew he would find Merlin sorting the books.

As he entered the hall Lance was about to walk out. “Ah just the man I need” Lance said grinning. “Merlin wants some more book storage cabinets ordered can I go ahead?”

Arthur looked from Lance to Merlin “More old books?”

“Not in Old English but old enough, in ancient Latin, I wondered if we could use one in a table base type form in the middle of the library” Merlin said looking hopeful “They are large books so less likely to be damaged low down.”

Arthur shrugged and looked at Lance “Get some quotes and I will give it some thought, maybe we need a place where they can all be together rather than in different places.” He paused “But I guess different places reduces risk of losing the lot. Find a price then book in a meeting for the three of us to look at options.”

“Straight on it after lunch” Lance told him as he left.

“Come on Merlin time for lunch” the blonde told the younger man who had already started working again,

“Can’t it wait, you have yours I will grab mine later.” He threw over his shoulder.

“No, it can’t I am hungry and I also want to talk to you.” So, Merlin set down the book he was holding and followed Arthur.

Once sat at the table and having helped themselves to some sandwiches and made themselves a tea Merlin looked at his boss “So what do you want to talk about? Is it the time I am taking, because this isn’t something that can be rushed.”

“Don’t be an idiot, take what time you need” Arthur kicked himself, that was a good start. “No, it was something personal. I am not good at this stuff so it won’t be fancy. Can you please not interrupt until I have finished.” He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders “I told you when I was drunk that I liked you a lot. Well, I wasn’t lying, I do. I would like to have a closer relationship and start courting you. But before I do I need you to know certain things. I have, I think, been bi sexual since I was in my teens. My father found me kissing a boy and sent me off to have conversion therapy. Both mental and physical means were used to ‘cure’ me. It had left me damaged and I am not sure if I will ever be able to enjoy close physical contact with a man. But I want to be with you, I told you I find you beautiful inside and out and that’s true, I have since I met you. Please don’t agree out of pity.” Arthur had looked down all the time he had been talking. He was scared to look up, the other man could see the great effort the words had cost.

Arthur took a gulp of his tea and waited.

After making sure Arthur had finished Merlin spoke. “That was a brave thing to say Arthur, I am very proud of you, what happened to you was wrong in so many ways, the person you should be able to trust hurt you and didn’t accept you for who you are.” He paused and waited for the blonde to look up. “Now please listen to me and don’t interrupt. We are both damaged, things have happened to me, not as bad as your experiences but I also think I am damaged. But in truth I don’t think either of us are beyond redemption. I wasn’t horrified by your actions when drunk, I was in fact hopeful you see I like you as well. I thought it was as a friend, but now I am not so sure. But couldn’t believe a man like you would even look at me. You are very good looking, clever, very kind and well liked and could have anyone. You are so above me in every way. But I don’t want to lose you as a friend, you already mean so much to me. So, we need to be sure.  I have so little to offer, I am a big eared twink type, a geek and a cripple. I can’t even do the job I qualified for. I don’t know the circles you live in; I will be an embarrassment to you. People will assume I am a gold digger, whilst that doesn’t bother me, I would hate for you to come to think it true.”

This was too much for Arthur “Merlin! You are too good for me! I spoke to Gwen, she told me some of your history, only the stuff I could have read in the papers. I wanted her help not to cock up”

“Why am I not surprised, you always do like to research your….projects.” Merlin said a grin in his voice “Thank you for telling me. But to be fair I should tell you I have hang ups as well. I have never had a close physical relationship. To be honest I have always felt I might be asexual. I like both men and women so I guess I am also bi, if that makes sense. But I don’t seem to want the same things they do. Past dates have said I am cold and unfeeling. My injuries have also left me with real hangups, I have never thought myself goodlooking but now…..So, you want to court me? How Victorian.”

Arthur looked up to see Merlin smiling at him, he winked at Arthur “So, after what I have told you if you are still interested, ask me again once you have had time to digest all I have said. If it doesn’t happen, I will be proud to be your friend.”

Arthur jumped up and knelt at Merlin’s side. Taking his hand Arthur looked the raven-haired man in the eye, “I don’t need more time, we have wasted enough already. Merlin Emrys, will you do me the honour of allowing me to court you in the way you deserve”

Merlin burst out laughing “You clotpole, was that because I said you were Victorian!”

Arthur put a hurt expression on his face “Your mother gave her blessings ages ago, I was just too dense to realise, so what is your answer?”

“That sounds like Mum.” After a pause Merlin fluttered his eyelashes “Oh Sir you do me a great honour, I gladly accept.” He paused then added “Mind you with your protection we will have a chaperone so it is quite Victorian.”

The pair of them burst into laughter. Merlin stopped as his stomach growled. “But it will have to wait until after lunch”

Arthur clutched his hand to his heart “Oh you make me so happy. But like you said I am starving.” With that he sat down. He was so happy and, in the end, it had been so easy, but he knew the hard part would start from now. He might be scared of how he would cope but he wanted nothing more than to see Merlin smile every day. He would send Gwen a huge bouquet of flowers.

Once the men had eaten their full they went back into the snug and sat down next to each other. Merlin looked at Arthur “This won’t be easy” he said honestly. “I have real trust issues and it will take time for me to show you my scars, I have nightmares as well.”

“I understand nightmares, we can help each other through them. I want so much to kiss you but…..” he paused

Merlin took his hand “You don’t have to tell me everything”

“I do, this part at least. I have told a couple of people including a counsellor I have recently stated seeing. But I don’t want your pity”

“I know how horrid pity is, I will probably admire you not pity you” Merlin told him 

“What have I done to find someone like you? That therapy involved me getting electric shocks to my genitals if I got aroused by watch gay porn. I was still a teenager. Even now if I see two men kissing, I feel pain.” Arthur admitted.

He heard Merlin’s intake of breath, “The bastards! Kissing is optional Arthur, we do what we both feel comfortable with and take it from there, I will have to work on letting you see my scars and I am not sure that will ever happen. As I said for years I had thought I was asexual if anything” he paused “But now I am not so sure.”

Arthur turned to Merlin “Together we will be better than apart. I feel it. But rest assured if you find you cannot be with me as a partner I will always want you as a friend, I cannot envisage my life without you in it.  Now our first date is tomorrow, get up same time and meet me at breakfast, wrap up warm and bring your camera. Oh and are you ok with people knowing yet? I’d like to keep it a secret for a while but personal protection sort of messes that up.”

He got a smile “I think they knew before us. But let’s mess with Gwaine tomorrow”

“You’re are a wicked man but I like your style”

Chapter Text

At supper that evening the two men acted just the same and no one suspected a thing. The next day Merlin did as asked, and arrived down for breakfast to find a full English waiting, just how he liked it with no hash browns or baked beans, neither of which he felt had a place on an English cooked breakfast. After eating Audrey handed them a picnic basket. And together with Percy and Gwaine they set off in the Bentley. Merlin got supper excited an hour and a half later when he saw the signs for Slimbridge Wetland centre. It was somewhere he had never got to. They paid to get in and Arthur had a mobility scooter booked. Merlin was scandalised to start with until Arthur explained the amount of walking.

“You will need to get off to get into the hides but this way you will get to see it all. And you can carry the basket!” they tried to fix it in the basket but it didn’t fit.

Merlin laughed “Leave it in the car someone can go for it later.” He suggested “But lets take a flask”

Following the map they went passed the small lakes with lots of wildfowl swimming, many were permanent residents from around the world mixed in with ones that had joined of their own choice.  Cameras were soon in use. They laughed at the antics of the birds as they dived for food. Many a photo was of ducks bottoms as they dived just as they clicked the shutter. As they went through the centre they saw various wetland birds from duck, swans and geese. But it was the hides they were most interested in, seeing the winter migrants in the wild. Some hides involved a climb to enter but Merlin was helped by the others when he needed it. Luckily many had ramps. There was even a lift in one hide.  Once sat in the hides he was OK but the seats were not always easy to get on. This resulted in much laughter albeit quiet laughs. They were lucky enough to see water rail, bittern and a sparrowhawk in the first couple of hides as well as the more common species. Arthur had taken to lifting Merlin on and off the stools in each hide causing Merlin to blush. The blushes were unintentional but made both Gwaine and Percy grin. When they reached to tower hide Merlin got off the buggy and got into the lift with Arthur, who insisted the others went up the stairs. When they got to the top the men were waiting and had the spectacle of Arthur lifting Merlin into a bridal hold and carry him into the seats before sitting him carefully down. Gwaine and Percy looked at each other in amazement but the other two said nothing acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Once they had a coffee and spent time looking over the Severn estuary, they reversed the procedure to the lift. In the lift the two men giggled controlling themselves before the lift stopped. It was a long walk to the next hides through yet more ponds with water fowl from around the world, many captive birds but outside in the open on their ponds and lakes. After visiting the furthest three hides they decided to have their picnic. It was a pleasant day. Percy went back to the car to collect the picnic. When he got back they sat at a table Merlin remained in the buggy as it was easier.

Audrey had packed a beautiful lunch with sandwiches and other finger food. Some of which Arthur silently fed to Merlin as if he was doing nothing out of the ordinary.

 In the end Gwaine demanded “What it with you two today?”

Arthur and Merlin looked at him in surprise “What do you mean.” Arthur asked.

“You aren’t telling me carrying Merlin like a bride and feeding him are normal, you two finally got your act together have you.”

Merlin looked shocked “What are you suggesting, Arthur was just being kind. He realised my legs were hurting, did you? As for feeding me I couldn’t reach he was again being kind which you two didn’t seem to bother with.”

Gwaine looked aghast and Percy looked somewhat ashamed. “Look mate if you need help just ask. We didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” Gwaine said.

“Your job is to look after Arthur not me” Merlin pointed out as if the conversation was over.

Arthur decided to add his bit. Putting on his authority tone “Gwaine I do not appreciate your suggestion that I would conduct myself in an inappropriate way with a person in my employ. We might be friends but I will take that from no one!”

Gwaine held up his hands “Sorry your grace” he said as if realising he had gone to far. Merlin glanced at Percy and realised he knew what they were doing, he gave the gentle giant a small grin. This was so much fun. Gwaine was well known as a wind up merchant so it was nice to dee the tables turned

Arthur turned his back on Gwaine and they continued their tour, they had two more hides to visit and the large aviary. There wasn’t a great deal at the other two hides that they had not already seen. The aviary was a disappointment, it had lots of waders but they had both thought they were rescue birds only to find they were bred captive birds. But at the same time, it was nice to see redshanks, ruffs and avocets so close as well as a few more species.

They stopped off at the site restaurant for a last cup of tea, Arthur had booked a meal in restaurant on the way back, for a sushi meal something Merlin hadn’t really tried before, unless you counted supermarket sushi. It was as they got out of the car that Merlin hugged Arthur. He had already been given permission so he wasn’t caught by surprise. Arthur hugged him back. Gwaine saw it and the shit faced grin on Arthur’s face.

“You bastards!” He exclaimed.

Arthur smiled “It was too good not to do, if it helps you are the first to know, and this was our first date.”

Percy stepped forward “Congratulations, Am I to assume you are keeping this low key?”

Arthur looked at Merlin before answering. “We aren’t hiding it; Merlin will not be some secret. But I don’t think we will be shouting it from the rooftops just yet. It would be nice to just get used to it first. But with you guys it’s a bit impossible.”

Gwaine nodded “Fair enough, but if your sister asks, she gets told. I am on dodgy ground with her over the Ygraine.”

Merlin grinned “I don’t know about Arthur but I guess if anyone actually asks you can tell them but if they don’t.........”

“Sounds good to me” Arthur held Merlin’s hand 

“So when?” Gwaine asked

“We talked yesterday and realised we both wanted the same thing, so we are giving it a try.” Merlin told him, then looking at Percy said “Thanks for not letting on.”

Gwaine turned on his friend, “You knew!”

“He only twigged when Arthur fed me.” Merlin said “So it’s your fault for being dense,”

With much laughter they went for the meal. Percy and Gwaine staying in the background to let the new couple have a meal together. Both agreed it was a good thing and wished the couple a happy life together. Arthur had a large take-out box made for the couple so they didn’t miss out.

Chapter Text

Once home they couple went to the snug and sat together, revelling in their new closeness. The house security team patrolled outside at night and let whoever was staying in the house alone. During the day when more people went in and out it was different. The whole place was alarmed and covered by cameras. This meant that Arthur knew they were private once indoors in the evening. They talked and had their arms round each other, that was enough of a first step for both of them. Merlin was happy to be held and Arthur pleased he felt no ill effects from touching Merlin. They both hoped for more but even if they only progressed this far it was enough. They went back to their own rooms and slept nightmare free. Baby steps but it felt massive for both of them.

The first date had been a success, but Merlin insisted on getting back to work the next day. Going out with the boss wasn’t going to stop him earning his money. As he told Arthur he was no gold digger.

The following days confirmed to the couple that they had made the right decision. Both admitted to each other that they felt more content and happier than they had done for years. They spent evenings in the snug talking or looking at identification books still trying to find out some of the creatures they had photographed, the reef fish being the most problematic. Of the birds it was the gulls and some of the waders.  In fact not much changed, but they felt different.

They had a meeting a week later with Lance to discuss the book storage, Merlin had started to progress well with the books. He had sorted out many he thought needed special care. One set were the very large books of plans for house and gardens over the years, some of family trees. He pointed out that these seemed to have been stopped some 200 years prior and should be updated. Arthur would write down what he knew and they would get a genealogist to investigate the rest. Merlin would write it in the book as he could do copper plate writing. The second set were old household and estate account books over several hundred years. The final set were old first editions. As with many things in the house they went back a long time. The hand written and illustrated family bibles etc he had already put in the special cabinets they already had.

“To be honest this entire library is a treasure trove. I would prefer the whole lot to be protected.” Merlin told the other two.

Arthur frowned “Would it be possible to somehow do something to the library itself? The shelves and doors are part of the scheduled contents.”

“Maybe its time to ask advice of the experts” Lance suggested. “Rather than continue piecemeal. I know you don’t want the books moved and I understand that.”

“Who do you suggest?”

“Shall I ask Uncle Gaius?” Merlin asked.

“Go ahead, but he needs to completely trust who he suggests and I will ask Gwaine to security check them.” Arthur said firmly. “Now I guess we can wrap this up. How is Gwen doing?”

Lance grinned “She seems to be getting past the morning sickness thank goodness.”

“Make sure you take anytime off you need. One thing before you go have you heard back from the estate manager about my suggestion?”

Lance looked at his boss “Not yet I will chase him up. I left him to identify the area.”

Arthur looked at Merlin “I wanted to extend the native woodland on the estate. I hope to plant a new wood not to far from the house. I understand from the guys at the levels that the UK is one of the most nature depleted countries in the world, I also hope to increase the native hedgerows.”

Merlin gave him a beaming smile “Great!”

Arthur thought if it got him smiles like that, he would plant up the whole estate. “Well, I guess we all need to do our bit.”

Lance went off to his office and Arthur took Merlin off to get a coffee. While they were drinking it Arthur raised the idea of a second date “It seems strange to go out for meals when we get looked after so well here, what do you fancy  doing? I love our evenings but they aren’t exactly dates, are they?”

“That’s easy, show me around the estate. I have lived here for ages and I only know the house and gardens” came the quick reply.

“You’re cheap to keep”

“Hardly, you have taken me to the northern lights, red sea, Maldives, Monaco, and the northwest passage trip!” Merlin told him.

“The amount you eat you didn’t cost any extra that doesn’t count, anyway we weren’t together then!” Arthur protested. “Are you happy to ride a horse?”

Merlin looked sceptical “I’ve only ridden that one on holiday but I don’t think that counts”

“There is always time to start. I know a stables down the road who will lend me a horse for you, they do riding for disabled so are gentle creatures.” Arthur looked so hopeful Merlin didn’t have the heart to say no outright.

“Tell you what, you take me there and I will try, if and only if, I feel ok I will go out with you, but not too far.”

Arthur was on the phone before Merlin had finished speaking. Switching his phone off he looked at a shocked Merlin.

“Right at four I will take you to the stables they have a lovely mare they think will be just right for you, they will let me borrow her whenever I want.” Arthur said proudly.

“What it is to be a duke and just snap your fingers” the slim man said with a rueful shake of the head.

“What it is to be their major donor.” Arthur admitted “I bought most of the horses and they operate from some buildings on the estate.”

Merlin found himself loving Arthur more and more. He helped so many people but you would never know. Merlin went back to work and left Arthur planning. Later that afternoon Merlin changed into some jeans and a jumper before they set off. Gwaine was waiting, as it was on the estate Percy was staying behind. They were greeted by the stable manager, Lucy who immediately took Merlin to meet his horse, she was a gentle white mare called Blossom and Merlin loved her. He was helped by Arthur into the saddle and then Lucy took over leading Blossom round the paddock explaining to Merlin what he needed to do. Within a few minutes Merlin was actually enjoying it. By the end of an hour Merlin was riding independently. Getting off the horse he was again helped by Arthur. Merlin then complained he was sore.

Lucy laughed “You will be fine just new muscles working” Looking at Arthur she agreed to let Merlin ride every afternoon for an hour until she was happy. Percy took him after work each day and at the end of the week Lucy declared herself satisfied, as long as Merlin had another rider with him.  Arthur arranged to have Blossom picked up the following Monday and returned on Wednesday as the stables busy days were Friday and the weekend,

Unknown to Merlin Arthur was already making plans to purchase another horse so he could keep Blossom at his stables just for Merlin.

Until the Monday Merlin didn’t even know Arthur owned horses. He looked at the larger horses Arthur Gwaine and Percy were riding and gulped. Thankful that he had a smaller horse. Even Eylan and Lance joined then on their first day out. They enjoyed the tour and Merlin came to realise just how much land Arthur owned. On each day they went in a different direction and still didn’t cover a fraction of the estate. They took picnics out with them or stopped in village pubs for lunch.

Arthur was thrilled to have Merlin learn to ride. When he announced that Blossom was his Merlin was astounded. He exclaimed he had no idea how to look after horses or the means to keep one. This made Arthur laugh and said she would be kept at his stables and they would look after her. It seemed the head stable boy loved Merlin’s horse she was so much easier to handle than Arthur’s other horses. She also seemed to quieten them down.  

That evening Merlin fell asleep on Arthur shoulder whilst they watched TV, Arthur looked down at Merlin and smiled, he was happier than he had ever been. And all through Merlin, he vowed there and then to do whatever it took to make Merlin happy. His smile when he was truly happy lit up his whole face and made his eyes twinkle. The blonde decided to put an idea he had had whilst talking earlier that evening into motion. It made so much sense. He would speak to Lance in the morning. He also needed to let Tristan know that he wanted to travel a short distance to the Channel Islands soon. Maybe for a month. He also wanted his advice on his other trip and how long it would take to organise. It was a pity you couldn’t just take off where you wanted without considering visas and jabs. He gently manoeuvred himself out of the seat and went to make some hot chocolate. He knew Merlin loved it and had taught the blonde how to make it the day before. Carrying it into the snug he reluctantly woke Merlin up. If he didn’t the other man would be in agony from his old injuries.

“Come on little falcon” he smiled as Merlin opened one eye to look at him. “Hot chocolate awaits”

Merlin stretched and sat up, wincing as he did so. “Did you make this?” he asked.

“Well, I wasn’t going to call Audrey just for a drink.” Arthur told him grinning. “Now drink up and bed for you”

“Yes Mum” Merlin muttered. He sipped his chocolate “Not bad for a first attempt.” As he got his painkillers out of his pocket.

“Cheeky” Arthur said sipping his. “Will you always need those?”

“I don’t take them as often as I used to, but I need them especially at night, but I have reduced the strength, I dare say I will always need something. I have nerve damage so it’s a bit like a toothache sometimes.” He explained.

“Ouch” Arthur wished something could be done, but knew Merlin had investigated every treatment. “Well come on let’s be getting up. I’ll help you upstairs. I dare say you are glad no riding tomorrow”

“I’ve enjoyed it, how often do you go? Only I didn’t even know you had stables.”

Arthur chuckled “Most week days when we are here. I go out after breakfast for a couple of hours. But you are busy with your nose stuck in books.”

“Some of us have to work for a living, how come you have never mentioned it?” Merlin said in a puzzled tone.

“I guess I am so used to it, it is normal for me. Lance, Gwaine and Percy all like to ride as well, Mordred isn’t too bad either, He has taken to using our horses when we are away to help keep them in trim. Although I think Halogen plays him up a bit.”

Merlin knew that was Arthur’s favourite horse. “You wouldn’t get me on him!”

The couple parted company at the top of the stairs and turned in for the night.

Chapter Text

Arthur was up earlier than normal and was researching one of the ideas he had had the evening before. He found what he wanted and wrote down the details for Lance to investigate and order for him. Later when he saw Lance, he showed him his idea,

“This will be ideal I think the 9 meters but ask them if 10 would be OK. I want to use this in the UK as well as abroad. It’s a Devon firm so they know our roads. I also need to know their wait time. If they have one in stock all the better. I also want a freezer in the garage part. Let me know what they say.” Arthur looked excited. He was planning on buying a motor home or RV.

Lance looked at his boss. “Can I ask why?”

Arthur grinned “I realised when we went to Slimbridge there are so many places to see in UK and like the yacht this is talking my bed with me. I can travel to Scotland etc. And if I want to travel say Canada or America, I can get it shipped out.”

Lance looked at his boss “Or you could hire? Might be cheaper. I suspect you can hire new,”

“Just ask ok, you know me by now I like the idea of UK made. And I also think it will work well.” Arthur’s tone made Lance shut up. Once Arthur had an idea in his head it was best to go along with it. “Oh, and keep Mum”

“I will Sir” Lance said upset that his boss even needed to ask. 

Elsewhere on the estate Gwaine had a phone call. After he had reflected on it, he told Percy he was taking the car provided for their use and going off for most of the day. It was his day off so Percy shrugged and asked no more.

Gwaine drove straight to London and went to see Morgana. She was surprised when he rang on her doorbell. But soon realised why he had come and not called.

“My friend has come up trumps. He has all the proof we need. The thing is I don’t know if we should involve Arthur. Ardain is still in action. My friend found three people who attended and are now in pretty dire straits. One is living on the streets and a druggy, from what looks like a direct result of his treatment, another ran from his family and is living hand to mouth and the third is a girl working as a sex worker. They have all agreed to talk to the police. From what my mate can work out he has run these camps ever since. Arthur’s group may have been the first. At least 6 kids a year.” Gwaine looked sick.

Morgana was also sickened. “So, what do you suggest? Arthur needs closure. Also what will your friend do?”

“Oh he will take this forward, you couldn’t stop him. But he will try to keep Arthurs name out of it but can’t guarantee anything won’t surface once the police get involved. Unfortunately he suspects the group would have kept records as it looks like they have a side line in blackmail.”  Gwaine looked at Morgana. “You said Arthur wanted to stop this. Well, Ardain’s son is now involved so it will go on and on.”

“Christ they are sick.” Morgana took a deep breath. “Can I talk to your friend”

Gwaine grinned “He is in my car, shall I bring him up?”

Three hours later Morgana was going back to Somerset with Gwaine. She had arranged for Mary to collect Leona from school and spoken to Leon. Gwaine’s friend was following them in his car. They pulled through the gates at four pm. Gwaine took them through to Arthur office. Arthur looked up as his sister walked in, alone at this stage. One look at her face said this was bad news.

“Morgana! What’s happened?”

“We have found the proof we need to stop him” she said

Arthur didn’t need to ask more he went pale and sat down. Morgana went to him and hugged him. “I have bought Gwaine’s friend so you can speak to him. He won’t involve you in any way, but can’t promise the police won’t find your name” She told her brother honestly. “Shall I bring him in”

Arthur nodded and stood up as Morgana returned with Gwaine and a man he hadn’t ever seen before. Arthur held out his had “Arthur Pendragon” was all he could say.

The man who was Gwaine’s age and from his manner ex-military but from the same model as Gwaine in as much as he had a hard but informal look about him, took Arthur’s hand “Eion Moran”

They sat down and Eion went through all the evidence he had collected.

“So what do you do?” Arthur asked curious as the man was clearly through and had a strategic mind set.

Eion smiled “I went into the police when I left the SBS but it wasn’t for me so I set up as a P.I. But I look at cold cases and find people the police can’t. All legal but let’s say in a different way. Sometimes its for insurance agencies like fraudulent claims, sometimes for families who want justice.” 

“I assume you will take this forward?” Arthur asked him

“Sorry your grace I won’t drop this now, I will do my best to shield you but if your name comes out, I might be powerless, but these bastards can’t carry on.”

Arthur nodded “You are right, thank you. I don’t want this buried any longer. I have been a coward for to long”

Eion looked at Arthur “You were conditioned in the worst way, manipulated and brainwashed by techniques that you had no training to resist. The three people I found told me what happened to them. I am in awe you have functioned as you have without breaking. You have nothing to be ashamed off. Nor are you a coward.”

“That’s not how I feel” Arthur felt himself begin to crumple. He started to shake. Morgana held his hand and Gwaine told him to take deep slow breaths.

Looking at his boss he whispered “Do you want me to get Merlin?”

Morgana looked at him in shock, but Arthur response shocked her more. Arthur nodded and whispered “Please”

Gwaine went to get Merlin and told Morgana and Eion to leave the room. Arthur clung to Merlin like a life line.

Morgana turned on Gwaine “What the hell!”

“I am sure Merlin knows. They have just realised how much they mean to each other; I can’t see Arthur taking that step and not telling him can you”

Morgana actually smiled “Thank god! Arthur needs someone special”

“They both do” Gwaine pointed out.

“So what do I do now?” Eoin asked

“Go ahead and do what you have to.” Morgana told him. “Can you let me speak to my brother first and then would you mind taking me back to London. I am sure if Gwaine trusts you I can.” She paused “Would you mind stopping for food. The cook is one of the best.”

Eion looked at Gwaine who nodded “She is, you can see Percy he will be over for supper as well. We all eat together”

“Then I will thank you. I will take this to the Met first thing in the morning.” Eion told them.

Audrey took the extra mouth all in her stride. Morgana took Arthur and Merlin’s meal to them in his office. She found them sitting on the sofa quietly talking and hugging. Both had clearly been crying but she said nothing about that. “You, Ok?” she asked

“Thanks, Morg and thank Gwaine and Eion. I know it doesn’t look like it but I am glad, he needs to be stopped. If I need to testify I will.” He looked at Merlin who squeezed his hand in support. “I know I have support and will get through it”

Morgana looked at her brother pride in her eyes “You are a good man, Arthur; remember you were the victim nothing else. And I am glad you two finally got your act together. Hunith will be pleased as punch she was routing for you both.”

Merlin looked shocked “Did everyone know but us?”

“Yes” Morgana said bluntly. “Now eat up and then clean yourselves up and I will say goodbye before I go back to London. I’d say you have about three quarters of an hour.” with that she left feeling better knowing her brother would be ok.

Chapter Text

Once Morgana left them alone Arthur and Merlin ate what they could, which wasn’t much and went upstairs to wash their faces and try to repair some of the damage. Merlin was waiting for Arthur to come out of his room and gave a second look when the blond reappeared.

“I’d forgotten how good you looked in a suit.” Merlin told him casting an appreciative glance over Arthur.

“I don’t think I have worn one more than twice since I gave up the office. I must wear one more often if that’s the looks I get.” The blonde looked pleased. “I put it on for confidence, it’s a bit like a suit of armour I guess” he admitted.

“Like a knight of old, yes I can see you as that.” Merlin grinned.

“I would have been a King!” came the retort.

“Well, you are my king and always will be.” Merlin told him “No disrespect to his majesty.”

“And you mine” Arthur told the man besides him “Come on let’s go face our subjects”

Merlin felt Arthur held himself more erect and prouder when in a suit. He would remember that in the next months and encourage Arthur to wear one. It might help his damaged self-esteem. As they walked into the lounge where everyone was waiting Arthur felt better with Merlin by his side, He turned to Eion. “If my name surfaces, or if you think it will help, please let me know. Also, if you need any information.”

Eion nodded “Thank you”

Later after everything had settled and they were quiet once more Arthur and Merlin went upstairs.

“Are you going to be Ok?” Merlin asked him

Arthur looked at Merlin “I don’t know” he said truthfully. “Could you….” He stopped speaking.

Merlin looked at Arthur “Do you want me to stay with you tonight?” he asked. “We could just hold each other”

Arthur nodded “Do you mind, I don’t think I want to be alone.”

“I will get my sleeping clothes and be with you.” He told the blond.

Arthur went in his room and changed into his baggy sleep trousers and an old t shirt. He normally slept in the nude but there was no way he could tonight, Merlin returned already in his sleep trousers and a long-sleeved t shirt. They climbed into Arthur’s king sized four poster and cuddled up. Taking comfort from each other.  Before they fell asleep, they ended up as small and big spoon, Arthur curled round Merlin hugging him close. Neither man had slept so well for years, despite the fact that they were sharing a bed with someone else.

The next morning when Arthur woke, he gave a small smile at the fact that Merlin had cared enough to stay with him. Arthurs arms were still round the slimmer man and it felt so right, as if he belonged there. The blond realised he wanted this every morning for the rest of his life. If they never had more this would be enough.

Merlin stirred and started as he realised, he wasn’t alone, then turning smiled at Arthur. “Has anyone told you, you are like a big teddy bear?” he said.

“No I don’t think they have.” Arthur admitted. “Do you think we could stay here all day?”

Merlin wriggled and stood up “No I have an ogre of a boss, and looking at the time I will be late for work” He stretched as he stood, his T shirt rode up and Arthur saw some scars above this waistband but he managed to keep his face straight,

“I’ll have you know you have a wonderful boss”

“That’s as maybe but I need a pee and my breath stinks, so I bid you farewell and see you at breakfast” with that he was gone, leaving Arthur feeling something was missing. But so glad he hadn’t reacted to the scars. They looked bad and that was just the small amount he had seen. He wondered if Merlin would ever let him see them, Arthur knew it would make no difference in how he felt. Merlin was still the most beautiful person he knew.

Getting up he had a shower and got dressed, in a suit again, he felt the need, it was stupid but it gave him confidence. He went down but Merlin had already eaten and was at work. Going through to his office he was met by Lance. Who knew what was happening but decided to treat Arthur as normal and take his lead from him.

“I did as you asked, the normal waiting at that company is a year, but as luck would have it, they have been asked to sell a brand new 9 meter one by the family of the man who ordered it, as he has passed. It does mean you can change a bit but somethings are already set. They have sent you a video tour and specs through, I have forwarded the email to you.”

Arthur nodded “Let’s look now” He sat down and fired up this laptop “The specs look OK and I wanted at least one single bed so that’s OK. I am glad to see the master bed is lower as well. Means less space in the large store in the back but I am sure we could still get an extra freezer in there. The four forward facing seats are ideal, they are not in some of the floor plans I have seen.” He paused realising there was something else different. “This has two slide out sections and not one, the floor plans I have seen had on slide out section in the living room/kitchen area. This one also has on in the bedroom making more space round the bed.”

“If you are using this in the UK wouldn’t it be an idea to have a car as well, it looks huge to take to some places.” Lance observed.

“Guess so, although it could tow one, the 12-meter size you can get a small car in the back. I need to go and actually see it. I will take Percy he has a lorry licence, doesn’t he?” Arthur mussed.

“He does but you can actually drive this on a car licence I think.” Lance pointed out.

Arthur snorted “You think I’d let Gwaine drive that! You know it would be a lot easier if I didn’t need to factor those two in all the time.”

“But you do, like it or not.” Lance told him.

“I had one lot of trouble once” he pointed out. “I am just saying out in the countryside I am not likely to meet up with a kidnapper am I”

“You know that’s nonsense, the fact they are there has probably stopped other things happening” said his reasonable E.A.

“Sometimes I wish I was just an ordinary joe blogs”

This time Lance did laugh “Well that’s goodbye to your yacht and a beauty like this then” he pointed out. “Do you want me to book a site visit?”

“Yes please. Now I am going to get Merlin for coffee, are you coming?”

“No thanks. I now realise what people were on about if they came out with Gwen and myself. No fun being a spare wheel.”

So it was organised for Arthur to visit Devon in two days, with Percy this time. Arthur gradually started to settle back down and Merlin was pleased to see the following day Arthur was back to his more casual slacks and jumper. The morning of Arthur’s trip to Devon he came down in his suit, saying he had an appointment but would be back early evening at the latest.

Once down at the company he was quickly taken to see the motorhome, Arthur had told Percy of his plans and asked him to give an honest opinion.

The motorhome was a beauty, Arthur was impressed but was unsure of a couple of features. So, they looked round a 12 meter as well. Percy thought the 12 meters would be problematic on the smaller UK roads and heavy if parked on soft ground, it was also the maximum size for a motorhome in UK. Arthur couldn’t see much benefit from a 11 meter either.

Going back to the 9-meter van he went inside once again. He like the four forward facing seats, two of which could be swivelled round and used as armchairs. There were two double beds, one over the cab and the main double in the bedroom. Percy could see the dilemma immediately.

“I am sure Gwaine and I could share” he said “Or Gwaine could sleep in the garage.” he grinned.

Arthur ignored the last comment. “Can we look around by ourselves for a while please?”

Once the manager had left Arthur turned to Percy. “There is a single bed , that sofa can be converted, unless the bed above the cab is it seriously big enough for the two of you?”

Percy looked at Arthur and get the ladder down whipped of his shoes and got in the bed. “I am a bit tall but yes, we could manage. What’s more with the slide out one of us could use the sofa bed but it might just be easier sleeping together.” He grinned “You could always have singles put in your room if Merlin is coming with us.”

Arthur blushed but once again ignored him. He had every intention of asking Merlin to sleep with him. “You think the larger motorhome is to large?”

“Well it is a bit big for UK roads, the car you could get in the back isn’t large enough for more than 2 adults.” Percy observed “Besides that is a year wait.”

“True. The master bed is also has steps and is rather high in the larger one.  I was thinking of a freezer in the garage if I bought this one, no one will want to cook and Audrey would love to send us with meals we can just cook. I was also thinking of some sort of mobility scooter for Merlin for rough ground.” He paused “Is this one powerful enough to tow a car?”

“Yes and I do have a licence that will cover that. Why not use the yacht and go round UK and hire cars for inland stuff?” The big man asked.

“I spoke to Tristan it’s not that simple Ygraine is a big yacht for the small harbours. It would also mean 100 mile round road trips often.” Arthur gave a small grin “I thought this might be fun. Also, if we get this one its not much for our group members to update their licences if they want to borrow her or we could hire a driver. I know Leona would love it and it might also suit Lance and Gwen now their family are growing.”

“The 12 meter no good then, that would mean a lot of extra work to get the right licence.  One point this needs a handrail at the door.”

“Anything else?” Arthur asked.

“Test drive?”

Arthur went to find the manager. “Can my man take her out for a test drive?”

“Of course I will get one of our drivers to go along for insurance” The manager smiled sensing a sale.

Arther went into the office and got right down to business. “If I buy her, I would want some changes, a handrail at the door to help my friend get in and out safely, he will need it on the right side. I would like a freezer in the garage area but I need room for a rough road mobility scooter. If both won’t fit, can we have a larger Freezer in the main van somehow. Oh, and can you confirm the motorhome can tow a car large enough for 4 adults?”

The manager immediately answered “The freezer shouldn’t be a problem there is already electric down there. What scooter do you have?”

“He doesn’t have one but I intend to get him one for a present.” He admitted

“Any specific limitations?”

“He has a weak left arm and leg with nerve damage. He can use both but has a weak grip.” Arthur said “Do you know of one”

“We have contacts I know of a company that modifies scooters I can ask him to contact you. Do you have a price limit?”

“I am not a bottomless pit but want something that will last and be safe. We intend to travel the world, so it will be used in lots of conditions. One I looked at was about eight grand.”  Arthur explained.

“Sounds about right, you would be surprised when people think they can get top quality for a grand. Leave it to me and they will contact you. If you get one, we can work round it. The company know the size of our garages.” He paused “We can do the rail and on the right side. The freezer we can work round once we know about the scooter. There is already electric down there. As for towing yes, she can, best on a trailer that we can also price up, just let me know what vehicle. Your man has an HGV with articulated so no problem.”

“One more thing can you do some sign writing on her” Arthur asked.

“We will throw that in free”

“I will get back to you”

With that Percy drove back into the yard. He jumped out and came to the office “She drives like a dream. If you are interested, I would like to spend some time here learning all the systems.”

Arthur turned to a smiling manager “Looks like I need a price, all in other than the mobility scooter. And what time frame?”

They negotiated the owners were willing to take a loss and once the alterations were factored in the price came in at £280,000. “That’s a good price she is a fibre carbon model with solar panels, and no wait.”

Arthur frowned “The towbar and trailer?”

“Thrown in.” said a reluctant seller. What he hadn’t said was the firm had yet to be paid so they wanted a quick sale. They were keeping some of the deposit but stood the interest on the rest.

Arthur looked out the window at the motorhome, he knew he was going to buy her but he wasn’t giving in easily. Noticing Arthurs hesitation he added.

“Tell you what we will also go halves on the mobility scooter but I can’t do more than that.”

“And the time frame?” Arthur asked.

“We can get the changes done in two weeks.”

“I agree provided I get the final say on the mobility scooter. My friend’s safety is very important to me.”

They shook hands and Arthur arranged to pay a deposit by transfer. “I want her called the ‘Little Falcon’ and a picture of a Merlin underneath.” Arthur grinned.

As they left Percy looked at his boss “You are getting sappy”

“I know” Arthur admitted. “By the way how are you and Freya coming on?”

It was Percys time to blush. “Well thank you, she is a wonderful woman”

“She suits you well Percy, I’ll let you into a secret as soon as I can, in maybe a year or eighteen-mouths we are going on a world cruise for about 5 years, so if you make your plans, it can be a honeymoon.”

“Yours as well?” Percy fired back but then added “I doubt we will marry, neither of us want children, I don’t think we could cope with the memories or the stress.”

Arthur just grinned. For now, he had a British tour of nature reserves and beauty spots to plan. Added onto a cruise to the Channel Islands. He also wanted to ask Tristan how they could get the scooter on and off the Ygraine.

Chapter Text

Arthur had an email the next day with several scooter one marked as recommended, Arthur decided he would have to ask Merlin. So, he went to the library. “Merlin come here please I want your opinion on something important.” He showed Merlin the scooters with the prices absent. “I want to get one for you, for our trips to give you more independence. They can all be modified to work right-handed. And don’t say no it’s a late Christmas and birthday present”

“I have had holidays” Merlin protested.

“They don’t count, I will buy one so you had just as well have a choice.”

Merlin looked “I am not an old man yet!”

“No, you aren’t but we are going places and I want you to enjoy them. You used one at Slimbridge, this will save hiring and will be better for you.”

Merlin looked at the photos and Arthur noticed he looked at the one he thought best the longest but he pointed at the one that was clearly the cheapest. In fact it was one Arthur had added as a ruse. A fold up version for a car and just about as cheap as you could get.

“That one looks good” Merlin said with a smile “It will be easier to transport, those others are impractical.”

“OK, that wasn’t too hard was it.” He said with a smile.

Going back to the office he emailed the company asking for the most expensive Tramper make with a note about what adaptions it needed, having spoken to Gaius in private. It was to have controls on right side and also extra padding on the seats and a strong four anchor seat belt with right hand release. The added extra that the seat would turn backwards so Merlin could sit and watch wildlife without the front getting in the way. He also added a crash helmet. He had spoken to Percy and Gwaine about a car and decided Arthur’s Range Rover Evoque if the motorhome would tow it. Gwaine thought it might be better to drive it rather than tow. So, they settled for the small Toyota car for the trailer so they could decide as and when.  These details were sent to have a trailer that suited. Although they were totally undecided whether to tow or drive a car with the motorhome it seemed silly not to have the choice. Especially as Arthur had both vehicles at the estate for staff use. After all he didn’t always want to use the Bentley.

The motorhome was picked up by Percy 2 weeks later, he had spent two days at the factory learning all the systems and problem solving. As he drove to the front of the house everyone came out to look. It was towing the Toyota that he had driven down to Devon in. Arthur had only told them the day before that it would be arriving. In fact, he had told Merlin first, over coffee “I have a surprise coming tomorrow” he told Merlin “I have decided we cannot just see the rest of the world we need to see the British Isles, so I have bought a motorhome and we are going to use it soon to travel around the UK,”

“I thought you were going to the Channel Islands?” Merlin frowned

“WE are! Then we are traveling round the UK to see what nature we can find here,”

Merlin liked the idea but was shocked at how easily Arthur spent money. “And you needed a motorhome for that, why not just have day trips?” he asked

“Because there is so much to see” Arthur pointed out. “I think you will approve”

“We used to go camping when I was a kid, so I guess this might be an improvement.” He had no idea what Arthur had bought,

When he saw the motorhome, he shook his head. “Another private hotel but this time on wheels, posh git”

Arthur’s head snapped round “I heard that!”

“Good because it is true.”

Arthur showed Merlin round inside, the handrail that could be just clicked into place and worked a treat, Merlin scoffed at the cooker “Who’s going to use that!”

Arthur grinned “We take frozen meals from Audrey and just heat them up!” he said proudly.

The bathroom and bedroom astounded Merlin. On looking around outside he was shown his scooter, Percy and Gwaine had got it out for him. “That’s not the one I choose!” the raven-haired man complained.

“No this one is better, get on and try it.” Arthur told him

Merlin carefully sat on the machine and Percy told him how it worked “Don’t worry it won’t go to fast. Put your foot on that pedal and it will stop.”

Merlin was surprised how comfortable it was and how stable. He thanked Arthur who shrugged, “I got it half price for buying the motorhome” he admitted.

Arthur looked at the freezers in the back of the garage, they could be accessed from the opposite side and had a panel between their backs and the scooter to prevent damage. It was Gwaine who spotted the picture of the Merlin painted on the back with a beautifully written Little Falcon below it. When Merlin saw it, he blushed, only Arthur and himself knew that was what Arthur called Merlin when they were alone together.

Arthur leant forward and whispered in his ear. “This is for you my little falcon, you have saved me, I love you more than life itself.”

Merlin had a tear in his eye as he looked up at Arthur. “And I you.”

Audrey was pleased to do as Arthur wanted and started to cook meals and freeze them with clear instructions on how to heat, they would be put in the motorhome when it was going on a trip. She also made sure to get other provisions and stocked the shelves and storage. One of the house staff made sure all the linen was put in the motorhome. Percy and Gwaine decided they could cope with the sleeping situation and got sleeping bags to make it easier.

Arthur spoke to Merlin and asked him if he would be willing to sleep in the bed with him. “Clearly just to sleep and cuddle” he admitted.

“The others won’t think that” Merlin told him.

“Do you mind? It is none of their business but I will explain if you like, or I will sleep in on the single bed in the main body”

“You will do no such thing, as you said no one’s business, let them believe what they like.” Merlin looked at Arthur shyly “Does this mean we are boyfriends then?”

“Boyfriends, partners whatever you want to call it. I thought we were already” Arthur told him. “I hadn’t thought to put a label on us.”

“Others will, so maybe we get to choose” Merin gave a small sweet smile.

“I like partners” Arthur admitted “So will you move into my suite now? So we can sleep together every night, You make my nights better”

Merlin blushed “Won’t people think it too soon?”

Arthur smiled “I couldn’t care less, but to be honest since they all knew before we did, does it matter”

“Since you put it like that and you are asking, then yes I will.” He knew they had a long way to go but this was a start. “I guess I had best tell mum”

“Oh god yes I had best tell Morgana” Arthur went white at the thought. “She might ask questions”

“Then tell her the truth, I will tell mum if she asks me, we have nothing to hide, what we do in private is really no one else’s business.”

“When did you become so wise?” Arthur asked him.

“When did you become a sap? Calling a motor home Little Falcon!” Merlin rolled his eyes.

Merlin moved into Arthurs room that night, together they rang Hunith and told her they were together all she said was congratulations and added ‘about time’. Balinor was out but Merlin didn’t really want to share this with him yet. He was happy for his mum to tell the good news. They then rang Morgana who squealed and said she was happy for them before asking “As in together, together?”

Arthur rolled his eyes, trust his sister. “As together as we both want and that all you need to know you harpy”

Morgana sounded slightly embarrassed “Of course it is, I am happy for you both.”

The two men curled up together, content with what they had and letting the rest take care of itself for now. Who knew what the future would bring them, and at the moment they didn’t care.