Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Every inhale stretched his lungs painfully, every exhale a painful wheeze, its cold claws scratching his throat, chest numb from pain, the sheer force of the young Shinigami's kick sending him flying trough the rubble of Wandenreich, a city the Quincy spent years rebuilding and still not finished, reduced to rubble once again. Yhwach wondered for a brief moment if Silbern was still standing, the survivors and wounded would need a shelter, if there would be any left. 

"Karin! My sister, what did you do to her! What did you do to my sister, you MONSTER!" 

Ah. Yhwach got his legs to cooperate enough to get them under him and then he was being hoisted up by the collar of his uniform, coat lost in the heat of the battle - ambush - making him feel more vulnerable. Red eyes met blazing brown ones, full of fury and bloodlust. "You must be.....Ichigo...." Yhwach croaks, tasting blood, the name of Karin's older brother coming out as a wheeze. "I have not....laid a hand on her-"

"LIAR!" Ichigo roars, throwing Yhwach away, the Quincy King flying trough more ruble, rolling on a street that led to a once beautiful plaza, the freshly placed statues and fountain being the first to go. 

Yhwach coughs, dark red coloring the white street, struggling to get on his knees, arms shaking. He's getting too old for this.

"What is this?!" Right arm being yanked up, joints popping, muscles screaming in protest, Ichigo inspecting the delicate silver wedding band, fingers digging into his hand and Yhwach dares not to move, for he can upset the Shinigami further. "Haven't laid a hand on her, you say? Then why the fuck is there a wedding ring on your finger?!" Ripping it off his finger, Ichigo throws it away, pulling Yhwach up by the hair, black Zanpakuto pressing to his neck and Yhwach tries to channel some energy, to put up more fight but he is exhausted - just as everyone else.

Ichigo breathes heavily, adrenaline from battle pumping trough his veins, hands shaking from anger. "If I kill you right here, right now, all of this fanfare will be over, right?" Grip tightening, Yhwach doesn't answer, only stares, hoping, praying, that if this is his end, the others will be left alive.  Ichigo snarls, jerking the King around, slamming him into a wall that miraculously still stands. "Answer me!"

In the quiet that follows, snow starts falling, mixing with dust and blood, the raging fury and burning hatred undeterred. Yhwach opens his mouth to speak, to seal his fate, then time slows to a crawl as Yhwach watches blue flame erupt on Ichigo's shoulder, spreading down his arm, consuming him whole.

Ichigo screams, letting Yhwach go, the King slumping down on the ground, watching as the Shinigami flails around, screams of other Shinigami filling the air, perhaps suffering the same predicament. The fire doesn't burn, it leaves the person whole, instead seeping deep into their bones, a cold, unforgiving bite, that doesn't let go until it deems you punished enough or until you were driven to insanity.

Yhwach is being gently maneuvered down, gently being settled into a lap, dark blue eyes full of worry gazing down at him. The screaming stops, there is a thud and a clatter and the world becomes still once more, Karin placing a hand on his chest, a pleasant cold spreading trough him and he can breathe easier, Karin shaking her head to keep him from talking. 

"Karin?" Ichigo's voice is weak, confused, eyes wide at what he's seeing, his sister, his little sister, cradling the King of Quincy like he was something precious, touch tender and soft and Yhwach is looking up at her, like she is the only thing in the world that matters. 

"Karin?" Ichigo tries again, shuffling closer and Karin inhales sharply, expression hardening, leveling her older brother with a glare. "What did you do?" Her voice is calm, the grip on Yhwach's uniform tightening, Ichigo opening and closing his mouth, unable to form words.

"What did you do?!" Karin snarls and both men flinch, unused to the tone of her voice. "I...." Ichigo swallows, watches as the same blue flames roar to life in Karin's eyes, cold determination and anger. "I came to save you-"

"Save me?!" Karin spits, cutting her brother off, making him flinch again and Yhwach's arm feels heavy as he slides it up and places it over Karin's, still cold to the touch, stiffening and Yhwach is now aware of the throbbing in his left ring finger. "I don't - Have you not read - Do I look like I need saving?!" Karin is shaking, the fever taking its toll and Yhwach wishes he had more strength to scoop her up and cradle her close, carry her to safety.

"You don't belong here!" Ichigo argues, still on his knees, Zanpakuto now in his hand. "Not with him, not with them, especially not with him! Not with the old creep that-"

"We have not slept in the same bed the moment I set foot in Wandenreich, nor did he lay a hand on me!" Karin snarls, tears gathering in her eyes, a murmur at the back of her mind, a constant buzz, building a headache. "What if I want to belong here? What if there is I reason I am staying here?" Leveling her older brother with another glare, black chain wraps around his neck, hand shooting up and trying to grasp at something that isn't there. "You are the one who don't belong here, a mere puppet, a victim of fate from the moment you were born." Voice hard with determination, tinged with sadness, Ichigo trashes against the chain as he's being dragged back into Soul Society. "You are a fool, big brother. A pawn in someone else's game, without a mind of his own."

Ichigo looks at his sister like he doesn't recognize her, perhaps she changed over her short stay in Wandenreich or maybe it were the beings sinking their claws into her, pushing her towards a goal set into motion more than thousand years ago. That alone would make her a hypocrite, if she didn't want to be part of it of her own volition.

Betrayal, sadness, confusion, all swim in brown eyes, Ichigo dragged back into Soul Society with his fellow Shinigami, all shouting in confusion, trashing against the chains, yet they seem to be made out of smoke, for as soon as they touch them, there is nothing there.

An undignified whimper left her lips, curling around Yhwach, shaking like a leaf, Karin bit her cheek, trying to hold back tears as searing pain bloomed in her chest, still too weak, the murmur at the back of her mind forming into a scream, painful, unforgiving, accusatory and it feels like her head is splitting open, Karin sobs into his chest and the King can do nothing else but hold her close, praying for his strenght to return soon.

All his strength has left him.

His Quincy powers drained, leaving him kneeling on the ground, sheer stubbornes and determination keeping him upright.

Blue eyes met brown ones, full of hatred, the type that spreads like the worst of plague, a Zanpakuto full of sharp edges like snake teeth pointed at him, yet his gaze does not waver and it infuriates the red haired Shinigami further, visibly bristling. "Where's the girl, Quincy scum?!" 

Inhaling sharply, Jugram's jaw lock, refusing to give information, to give away the Queen of Quincy. 

"The quiet type, huh?" Even when speaking normally, the Shinigami is loud, the man's voice bouncing in Jugram's head, brow furrowing as the sharp tip is pressed to his chest, making him lean a bit back. "I hate them, they always think they are above people, think they are the smartest of the bunch. Pche!" The Shinigami spits and Jugram wonders if he knows someone like them, for the hatred simmers and bubbles so visibly, it is almost laughable how he is showing himself to the enemy.

If they weren't taken by surprise, perhaps Jugram would have used it against him.

The Shinigami rises the arm holding the Zanpakuto, preparing to finish the finishing blow and Jugram closes his eyes, making peace with his fate.

A cold bite against his skin, Jugram snaps his eyes open, flinching back and loosing balance, the Quincy watches the Shinigami flail, as blue flames engulf him whole, unforgiving, punishing. jugram looks around, searching for the, their - his - Queen and King, seeing them nowhere, clawing at the ground, the rubble, trying to find them to get to them, protect them, "Please, Lord, let him regain his strenght!"

Then the world goes still,  something slamming into Jugram full force, knocking the wind out of his lungs, the shocked exhale coming out as a pathethic wheeze, rendering him even more powerless, useless. The Shinigami are screaming in confusion and fear, everyone rendered usesless and Jugram fights the bile rising in his throat, clawing at the rubble, chipping away stone, fingers raw and bleeding, the screams rising higher and higher, deafening -

Quiet.

Looking back to where the Shinigami should be, there was nothing but an empty space, something simmering in the air and Jugram feels his eyelids grow heavy, consciousness slipping away and before it slips away completely, there is someone screaming his name but they are, so, so far away.

When the King and Queen are found, Yhwach garhered enough strenght to sit up and lean against the wall, craddling Karin close, shielding her from the cold and snow, wiping away a droplet of blood from the corner of her lips, the girl shaking like a leaf, weak and vulnerable.

The King falling unconscious once Karin was being taken care of.

Chapter Text

The cold was unforgiving, each gust of wind that carried snowflakes, dust, the stench of something burnt and blood, a whisper in Karin's ears, trying to force her to turn back, to seek shelter with the others, to let them take care of her fever, her weak state, to pamper her like the Queen she is. Refusing the tempting offer, Karin pushed on, looking for her other half, her own wedding band growing heavier and heavier the longer they were separated.

Another gust of wind, this one kinder, softer, gentler, guiding and Karin let herself be carried by it, seeing a silver glint among dark ashes, a silver star peeking trough stormy clouds and Karin dives for it, tripping over her own feet, ignoring it all, Karin clutches the ring with desperation, curling around it, protecting it. 

Karin feels whole, two halves reunited and everything in her sings, her blood feeling warm and not just with the fever. Hearing someone approaching, Karin clutches it tighter, Yhwach's ring and her own digging into her palm and there is a gentle hand on her shoulder, not hurting, not trying to pry the ring out of her hand. "My Queen."

Snapping her head up, Karin gazed into the worried expression of Robert Accutrone, one of the older Quinces and the first one she met upon her arrival in Wandenreich, being her escort for the first few days. "Robert? What...what are you doing out here?" Karin asks, slowly and carefully sitting up, clutching the hand holding the ring close to her chest.

"I should be asking you the same think, Your Majesty." Brown eyes looked over her form, assessing, calculating - always doing it when it came to her, trying to see if she got something to hide, some ulterior motive, searching the true meaning behind her spoken works. Karin can't say she blames him, a human girl, finding a way in into their sacred city, their safe haven, making demands.

Karin admires Robert Accutrone. 

"I came searching for this." Karin shows him the star, hand shaking, pulling it back to her chest when he reaches for it, surprise written all over his face, then understanding. "Of course." Robert stands, offering her his hand to her, a gesture Karin still had a hard time accepting. "Can you stand up and walk on your own?"  Accepting the offered hand, surprise evident on Robert's face once more, Karin stands up, her legs shaking, muscles protesting, screaming at her to lay back down and rest, refusing to yield, something else sinks their cold claws into her chest, her lungs burning with every breath taken. "I can."

"I will hold onto you, just in case, Your Majesty." Robert's hold is gentle but strong, enough for her to slip free, enough for him to catch her. The wind seems to be less punishing, biting, perhaps it held respect towards Robert Accutrone too, for he was a pillar of wisdom among the Quincy, always calm, collected, reassuring, the father, the teacher to the younger ones.

Karin feels prickling over her skin where he holds her, for they were never in each other's presence this extended period of time, a wave of shame and guilt washing over her, realization dawning on her, making her sick. Robert was one of those, who was out there, fighting, protecting Silbern and Wandenreich, going toe to toe with Shinigami's best, Robert, who should be resting, getting his wounds healed just like everyone else, instead, venturing out into the cold, unprotected by walls and buildings, searching for a foolish girl, chasing stars.

A sob lodges in her throat, not coming out, Karin refusing to let it out, hold tightening on Robert, the older Quincy not commenting. Karin's blood grows warmer, the ring clutched in her hand singing for its owner, nearing Silbern, the once imposing castle now damaged, yet still standing strong, offering shelter and safe haven to wounded and exhausted.

Yhwach is there, waiting, sitting on a rubble, cloak discarded, left arm in a sling and bandaged, cane resting against his thigh, looking older, haggard, cheeks sunken in and Karin's eyes prickle with unshed tears, wanting nothing more than to wrap her arms around him, to heal him - but she was still weak, drained from when she eased up the pain for him.

Black eyes met dark blue ones, something going soft in them and he stands, legs unsure like a newborn foal that isntrying to stand up for the first time and Karin hiccups, wrapping her arms around his middle, offering support, someone to lean on, like he did for her, his good arm wrapping around her like a shield, a protective barrier agaiinst the cruel, unjust world.

How Karin wished to take him away, to take them all away into a world where no one will have to suffer.

"Why did you venture out so early after the battle, mein schatz?" Cupping the back of her head, touch so gentle and tender, fear of hurting her, of her crumbling to dust with any touch filled her with agitation but now, understanding the King of Quincy, Karin understands.

Opening up her palm, black eyes widening. "Karin...." "I couldn't just leave it out there, fearing it might get lost forever." Voice soft, Karin fists the front of his uniform, suddenly overwhelmed, babbling nonsense, begging for forgiveness, even though there is nothing to be forgiven, a warm hand rubbing up and down her back, soothing, guiding her into Silbern, the palace's calming atmosphere taking effect only a few steps in.

Karin feels exhausted, worn out to the bone, a silver glint catching her eye, noticing Yhwach's wedding band on silver chain, one that Yhwach never wore on his belt, the one Robert wore around his belt loop was missing.

They all gathered in the throne room, covering the windows with cloaks sewn together to keep as much warmth in as possible, those who could making warmer blankets and cloaks, Hilda Weiss taking care of the wounded, barking orders at others to help, to take care of their friends, she herself tending to Jugram, who lay unconscious, Bazz-B by his side, refusing to move, going against her orders.

Lille Barro took it upon himself to lead a group in gathering supplies, bring in anything they could use, barricading any obvious ways in, keeping watch with Gerard and Opie, the man himself running on fumes, still refusing to rest for even a minute, sweeping his eye over the throne room floor, full of wounded and exhausted, then back outside, where their brothers and sisters lay slain, disrespected and spat on - the last one Lille witnessing himself, a bald Shinigami spitting on a woman barely out of her twenties, a newcomer Lille did not get a chance to learn the name of.

He refuses for any more to fall to Shinigami's Zanpakuto, not under his watch, while he breathes, heart beating strong.

"Lüdaas...." Voice barely above a whisper, Karin leaves Yhwach's side, falling on her knees, cupping the too cold cheek, breathing shallow and shaky, body tense in pain, bandages and gauzes  colored red from the wound. "Lüdaas...." Thumb caressing his cheek, wiping away some of the cold sweat and grey eyes cracking open, breathing picking up and Karin coos soothingly, fingers combing trough sweaty locks. "What have they done to you....." Karin could see it, could smell the coppery stench of fresh blood, the burning remnants of Shinigami's reiatsu, looking to maim and torture, not to kill and dispose.

Lüdaas gripped at her shirt, pained sound slipping past opened lips, desperation making him bleed more and Karin coos once again, a gentle hand on his shoulder, laying him down on the cot, going down with him, offering comfort. "They - They tried to get in, to get to you, I didn't let them, they - they -"

Warm lips connect with a cold forehead, Karin can feel how cold he is, all of his warmth stolen and Karin wants to give him hers, to repay for his protection, bravery and perhaps fighting on while missing an arm. "You did well, so well.... No need to beg for forgiveness...."

Karin, in her thirteen years of life, spoken so softly to anyone, being so caring - for a brief moment, Karin thinks of Yuzu, her twin sister, too kind, too gentle for this cruel world, living in darkness, unknowing about anything their older brother Ichigo is going trough, what their father kept from them and some part of Karin, the more cruel one that keeps on growing, is jealous and despises her twin sister. 

Exhaling softly, Karin curls against his good side, Lüdaas holding onto her, expression contorted in pain and something sad, driving a knife into Karin's heart, making her tremble and Lüdaas helds onto her tighter, neither of them falling asleep until a blanket is placed over them, Hilda checking on them both, dark bags under her eyes, hair usually done in a perfect bun, now skewed and messy, so is her uniform. 

Lüdaas does not wake up.

The ground is soothingly cold, Karin not registering the cramps and pain as she kneels at Lüdaas' grave, holding his helmet in her lap, the man in question looking at peace at last, no longer plagued by pain or the nightmares, he once told her about when neither of them could sleep, both of them barefoot as they walked around Wandenreich, coming to a stop at the once beautiful plaza, gazing at the stars, as they get to know each other.

Reaching into the grave, Karin pulls up the cloth with red five pointed cross over his head, hand resting there longer then she should, looking up at Lille Barro, the man patiently waiting, giving her space, met her eyes with understanding and a small nod, burrying Lüdaas in the soil he did not coke from but is his final resting place, sending him on a journey into an Eternal Paradise. 

"His Majesty has told you, did he not, my Queen?"

Karin places Lüdaas' helmet on a stick, marking his grave, pulling the dark cloak tighter around her, wishing Yhwach were with her, being her pillar, a comfort - Karin felt alone, Lüdaas being one of the few people who saw her beyond her title as a Quincy Queen, fulfilling his duty, never to wake up again, Jugram laying asleep himself, thankfully not eternal, the others keeping their distance, Bazz-B harboring disdain for her the moment he laid eyes on her.

"Told me what?"

"Why we are buried in our umiforms, our crosses, being covered head to toe in a cloth." Lille rests his weight on the shovel, gazing into the distance, expression guarded, closed off.

"Yes, of course." Karin pauses, studies the leader of the elite guard next to her, wondering if he thinks she is being ignorant of their culture, when Karin has been spending time in library, reading their surviving books. "Why do you ask?"

Lille exhales harshly, hold tightening on the shovel, then it goes slack, tension leaving him as quickly as it came, mouth opening and closing, looking at her, then avoiding her gaze, then Karin jerks as Lille drops down on one knee, back curling forward in a bow, fists clenched so tightly they shake. "Please, forgive me, I...I have thought so little of you, judged you on so little information -" His speech is halted with the feeling of hands on his shoulders, head snapping up and Karin presses her forehead against his, eyes closed and Lille understands.

There is no need to ask for forgiveness.

Karin steps back and Lille stands up, feeling lighter, the two looking at each other, silent understanding, Lille looks away first, noticing Askin kneeling at a grave, shoulders shaking, picking up the shovel once more, offering Karin a small nod, one she reciprocates. "I am going to help burry the rest, send them on their journey to Eternal Paradise."

Karin watches him leave, eyes landing on Lüdaas' grave one last time, saying her final goodbye, then turns towards Silbern, the calming atmosphere calling her in.

Karin knows Silbern is alive.

The heartbeat it has is mighty, powerful as it tried to rebuild itself, halting once it sensed its people, children, pouring in after an ambush, seeking shelter, redirecting its might in healing them. But it was weak, exhausted just like them and it could not save them all, weeping as it had to make sacrifices.

Karin doesn't know if she's the only one who can feel and hear it, too afraid to bring it up in fear of being perceived as crazy, so she keeps it to herself, the being laughing at her, finding it hilarious.

Kneeling by Jugram's side, Karin holds his hand, feeling the warmth returning to him, chest rising and falling in rhythmic exhales and inhales, not stirring on her touch. 

A presence looms above her, heavy and suffocating, Karin jerking her head up, fear taking ahold of her with such intensity it chokes her up, brown eyes ablaze with intense emotions, swimming in an untamable inferno, Bazz-B not saying a single word, jaw set so tightly Karin can see the muscles jumping. No words needed to be spoken, for she knows her presence is not wanted.

"The fever will be the worst in the last days, my or in future case, your 'Zanpakuto' will be forging a bond with you, one that cannot be broken easily, one could say it is unbreakable."

"Joy. Still, how are you able to break it, if it's 'unbreakable'?"

"Sweetheart, I've been working on it for hundreds of years and I'm nothing but stubborn."

A cold hand cups a warm cheek, offering the last bit of comfort they can, sad smile stretching their lips. "It will hurt, the pain becoming unbearable you'll be wishing for death but you can't give into the temptation. 'He' will test you, to see if you are worthy of them both and only then the bond will be complete."

"What kind of test?"

The hand slips from her cheek, clutching the hilt of their 'Zanpakuto'. "That I don't know, for 'He' is chaos himself."

Chapter Text

Ichigo feels like he's being pulled apart, limb from limb, skin peeled open, muscles and tendons ripped away from bones, trying to get to his heart, to rip it out, mock him, taunt him about his failure, the laughter shrill and deafening.

The entire world shifts and they are back in Seireitei, the wooden floors feeling to rough against his aching knees - hurts, everything hurts, the laughter is still there - Ichigo is left staring at the spot they were dropped out of, the phantom feeling of chains against his neck still there, his heart thundering, brown eyes darting around, searching, hoping that whatever spat them out would show up, letting him trough, this time with Karin on the other side, waiting for him.

"You're lying to yourself. Have you seen them?"

Ichigo shudders, missing the rhythmic tapping of a wooden cane, Genryuusai Yamamoto towering over them, waiting, expression hardened, accusatory and he feels it, heavy and suffocating, stomach rolling, making him sick.

There are sounds, lot of them, Ichigo realises it id voices, shouting over one another, it blends, then it is far away, the ringing in his ears growing in volume, the world around him growing and he can faintly register he's opening his mouth, muscles and jaw working, no sound coming out or if there is, Ichigo doesn't hear it, fingers digging into the wooden floor, head snapping down.

It's there isn't it? It's right there, under the floorboards, they are hiding it from him aren't they? Traitors, traitors, traitors, liars, liars, liars, all if them!

And he's clawing at the wood, trying to reveal its secrets, rubbing his fingers raw and bleeding, nails bleeding, there are hands on him, touching, grabbing, trying to pull him away and he fights them off with an animalistic snarl, the Hollow inside of him roaring to life, Zangetsu's calming aura suffocated with the rage blazing like an inferno, eyes manic with desperation.

"ENOUGH!" The sound of a wooden cane hitting the floorboards is like a thunder, the voice commanding, leaving no room for an argument, Ryujin Jakka, blazing inferno on its own, snuffing out Ichigo's rage, head jerking up, both the Hollow and the Blade shrinking away from the piercing gaze, something else swimming in those black voids and the silence is deafening.

They stare at each other, Ichigo feeling like small boy under the stern gaze, lower lip quivering and something in Yamamoto's expression softens and Ichigo breaks, gripping the sleeves of the shihakusho that feels too warm, waling in anguish and pain, babbling, begging for forgiveness, the failure of it all heavy on his being and the old hands reach out for him - shaking, why are they shaking? - then draw back quickly as Ichigo retches, the disgust at what the Quincy monster did to his sister, the acidic taste burning his throat.

Pathetic, pathetic, you look so pathetic, disgrace, no wonder you couldn't save your sister, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic -

The hands that pull him up are gentle, cradling him like he was the most fragile thing in existence and it was disgusting, how could anyone treat him like that when Karin was still in the clutches of the Quincy King?

He's being sat down on a comforter, swaying where us seated, limbs feeling heavy, the Hollow and Blade too quiet, a wet cloth being pressed to his lips, wiping away the bile, fighting against it weakly, not deserving of such kindness, then he's being gently laid down on the comforter, sweaty locks brushed away from his forehead, unshed tears prickling his eyes. 

"Sleep."

Ichigo is out like a light, sleep uneasy, plagued by nightmares.

The chapel the wedding takes place is grand, whitearble and pristine glass, everything covered in snow - a fairy tale wedding, everyone is cheering and celebrating the newlyweds, the new husband carrying himself proudly, while the new wife, too young, way too young, somber expression, silver shackles wrapped around her neck and wrists, dark blue eyes cast downwards.

Ichigo pushes trough the mass of bodies, trying to scream and shout, his voice drowned out by the joyful cheers of Quincy - or was he even screaming? Was his voice coming out? His throat felt raw, closed off, it was hard to breathe and Ichigo stumbled out, falling down on his knees, eyes wide, meeting the smug expression of the Quincy Monster, possessive hand on Karin's shoulder, not reacting.

"K-Karin...." Not recognizing his own voice, reaching to grab onto his sister but she's suddenly so far away, out of his teach and he can't move, limbs  feeling like lead, watching as the Monster keeps the shackles on, the white gown falling to the ground, the cheering grows louder and louder.

Ichigo can do nothing but watch.

Being shaken away did not help his stomach, rolling over and emptying the little bit of content his stomach kept, shuddering as he can do nothing dry heave after, fist banging into his back, disgust rolling off of him in waves.

Whining as there is a damp cloth pressed to his lips, such gentleness and care he does not deserve, cool cloth pressed to his forehead, brown eyes opened, looking into big, black eyes, full of worry and kindness. "Are you thirsty? Does anything hurt?" Rukia speaks softly and Ichigo weep silently, Rukia, his friend, the first woman who truly held his heart, coos and shushes him, wiping away tears, curling around him to shield him away from the cruel world and Ichigo wants to stay in her arms, it's selfish, so selfish while Karin is suffering, Yuzu is waiting but he's tired, so tired. 

Helping him sit up, groaning at the strain to his muscles, Rukia places her hand on his upper back, grounding and soothing, Ichigo leans into her, burrying his face in her shoulder and she holds him, reassuring that she's here, like the gentle soul she is.

The shoji door slide open, the rhythmic tapping of cane filling the room, the heavy reiatsu suffocating and burning, his Hollow and Blade shrinking further back, smoke filling up his lungs, Rukia tightening her hold on him. "Yamamoto-taichou, please...." Voice soft, pleading and shaking, the reiatsu eases, now like a warm blanket and Ichigo slumps against Rukia, the shinigami stiffening to hold him up.

Something is being placed down, someone scurrying around the room, leaving soon after and Ichigo is being lifted up, whining in protest. "I'm here, I'm still here."

"Eat." 

The commanding voice leaves no room for argument, a spoonful of something warm pressed to his lips, tasting all of it on his tongue and not at all, settling heavy like iron in his stomach. Ichigo shakes his head as another spoonful is presented to him, a sound escaping past his lips as a warm hand, rough and callused, grips the back of his neck and Ichigo obeys, swallowing everything, even when he feels like vomiting again, heavy, full, he lays back down, Rukia and Yamamoto talking above him in hushed tones, he drifts off once more.

Ichigo doesn't dream.

Ichigo begs Rukia for her to come with him to the Living World, gripping her shoulders so tightly his hands shake, babbling nonsense, Rukia looking up at him with unshed tears, eyes so beautiful and full of emotions but she has to stay, to fulfill her duty as the lieutenant of thirteenth squad, kissing his knuckles in a goodbye.

Yuzu greets him, hugging him tightly, Ichigo's throat tightening up with emotion, hands shaking as he hugs her back, feeling so small in his arms, asking where Karin is, where is her twin sister and Ichigo can't talk, throat so tight he might suffocate and Yuzu sees, brushing her fingers on his cheek, telling him dinner will be ready in a few.

Stomach rolling uncomfortably as Yuzu sets a simple rice and chicken in front of him, sitting down next to him, closer than normal and guilt settles heavy on him like chains, rice too rough in his mouth, knowing it is not Yuzu's fault, for she's the best cook in their family, scrapping his throat as he looks up, seeing Isshin in the doorway, arms crossed, expression hardened, not saying a word.

"The chicken and rice are still warm, dad. I didn't know you wanted to join us." Isshin looked at Yuzu, mask expression lighting up and smiling at his daughter and Ichigo can tell how fake it is - liar liar liar traitor traitor traitor - shaking his head. "Not hungry, Yuzu. Gonna eat later."

Giving one last glare to Ichigo, one that Yuzu missed, leaving the two alone, Ichigo losing his appetite, eating all of it, not wanting to worry Yuzu, for she didn't need it - it was his responsibility.

"I don't have to tell you anything," Ichigo tenses up, legs freezing up, rooted to the spot, feeling bile rise up, making him sick. "or do I?" Isshin finishes and it feels like thousands of razors was thrown at him, swimming and drowning, getting cut up over and over again until there is nothing left. Ichigo doesn't look at his father, waits and waits for another round of words cold as ice, it never comes and Isshin leaves, Ichigo feeling like a knife was wedged into his heart and twisted until it is carved out.

Ichigo makes a mess of his room, throwing and smashing he can get his hands on, banging into shelves, voice hoarse, throat raw from screaming and crying, Yuzu comes barging into his room, screaming in fright and without thinking, she rushes up to him and hugs him tightly, tears streaming down her cheeks, begging her brother to stop, it is going to be alright, they are going to find Karin and Ichigo crumbles, holding Yuzu tightly, both of them suffering.

Yuzu takes care of his wounds, wrapping up his hands, so gently and tenderly, the entire tine spend in silence and Ichigo appreciates it, exhausted all over again.

They clean up worse of the mess and they both get into bed, uncaring that they are not in their pajamas and not doing their routines, Yuzu snuggling up to him, holding and Ichigo does the same, eyes trained on the door, watching, guarding, then carefully looking at the window, assessing if it is tightly shut.

Ichigo doesn't sleep well.

Chapter Text

Karin places her hand on the wall, cold, almost painfully so, on heated skin, thrumming with life. Eyes watering, pressing her cheek against it, Karin exhales shakily and her heart flutters with joy, Silbern's powerful essence enveloping her whole, calming the monsters inside of her. 

When the monsters allow her to sleep, Karin dreams of becoming part of Silbern, safe in its embrace, kept away from harm, from the cruel world Karin was born into, shattering once she holds Karin's shoulders, full of sadness and grief as she reminds Karin of her goal, what she is supposed to do - not unkind nor angry. Gently guiding her back to present, Karin screams for her to stay, to guide her still and she only smiles, finally at ease.

"Time for you to wake up."

"Your Majesty?" Karin jerks away, focusing on Giselle standing politely a short distance away, hands folded behind her back, blue eyes - much like her own, Karin thinks - study her, assessing for any injury. "Is everything ok?" Giselle's voice is soft, expression unguarded - Karin sometimes finds it funny that Giselle Gewelle was the first one to befriend her upon entering Wandenreich and later Silbern.

Exhaling shakily, looking at the wall, slowly letting her hands fall to her side, missing the steady, comforting thrum, leaving her ampty and suddenly cold despite the fever, shiver running up her spine, body trembling all over. "Fever...it's just the fever, Giselle." It's only a half truth, Karin knows, for how could she tell what she truly feels, what is half slumbering inside of her.

Silbern is alive and breathing, grieving its lost children, I don't know how to tell you or Yhwach without sounding crazy, it's hurting and there is no way to comfort it, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts -

"I'm just...feeling hot, is all." Karin lies easily, almost too easily and Giselle steps closer, hand pausing in midair, eyes searching for something. "May I?" Voice soft, so soft Karin wants to weep, nodding her head, karin stops herself from leaning into the touch, fingers touching her forehead first, then her cheek, then falling on her shoulder, comforting and Karin's lower lip wobbles, telling herself it is nothing more than the fever making her act this way. "Your Majesty, pardon my rudness, you are burning up. You need to lay down and rest."

"No, no, I just....I need...."

"To rest." Hand falling from Karin's shoulder, shuddering at the loss of contact, Giselle's expression softened and in that moment, it reminded her of Yuzu, guilt, regret, pain settling heavy in Karin's chest, wanting to crumble into dust to escape. "Or maybe something warmer? I have some sweatshirts that could help." Offering her hand, Giselle's smile warm and Karin thinks it does not suit her at all, shiver running up Karin's spine for another reason entirely, knowing even though she is a Queen now, she won't be for long, once everything is done, they will all fall.

Letting herself enjoy little bits of comfort, Karin accepted, walking in silence down the hall - a steady thump-thump-thump of a heart not belonging to either of them - headache growing and growing, lump lodging in her throat, shaking and Giselle doesn't seem to notice and Karin is glad, something tearing her up from the inside out.

 Giselle went trough her clothes, picking trough some of her sweatshirts, humming softly, Karin's eyes looking around the room, bare to its essentials, remembering how the Femritters were talking about wanting to venture out into the world beyond Wandenreich, explore, bring home souvenirs, perhaps start a new life. Until Karin finishes what was started more than 1000 years ago, their dreams were unattainable.

Murmuring something under her breath, pulling out sweatshirt, placing them on the bed, rummaging deeper and deeper into her closet. Pinching the clothes between two fingers, Karin looked over the sweatshirts presented, cold sweat rolling down her spine, pain and tightness in her throat making swallowing a struggle, something in her chest tightening, blaming it on the fever. Giselle's back to Karin, still going trough her closet, Karin suddenly felt uncomfortable wearing any of this, no, she was uncomfortable in her own skin, wanting to claw, scratch and pull it off, muscles pulling taunt, something searing explodes in her chest, spreading trough her and Karin collapses.

"This one seems perfect." Eyes shining brightly, happy with her pick, Giselle turned around and screamed.

Lille hated, hated, the way his Queen was shaking in his arms, curling in on herself, mumbling nonsense, eyes shut tightly, not reacting to a word he said. Giselle hot on his heels, sniffling, trying to contain her tears, but how could she? When she blamed herself for not paying not enough attention, for not being strong enough to carry her, Giselle's emotions created a storm inside of her.

The moment Lille set her down on the bed, gently, ever so gently, Hilda was by her side, ushering them both of the room. The news about their Queen's health spread quickly, Femritters gathering around Giselle to comfort her.

"His Majesty?" Grabbing Robert by his upper arm, the older man checking on them all, seeming older than he was, keeping their voices down, a shiver going up Lille's spine as Robert's tired lines seemed to deepen. "Flare up. Perhaps it has something to do with Queen's state."

The blood in Lille's veins went cold.

Hilda placed a cool, wet cloth on Karin's forehead, gently pulling away hair sticking to her sweaty skin, adjusting the pillow under her head, smoothing out the sheets. The Katana appearing by the bedside, hot to the touch, repelling anyone who tried to move it.

Having nothing on hand to measure temperature, Hilda prayed to anyone who would listen, to grant Karin an easy recovery, to guide them back to her.

Someone listened.

Yhwach clutched the sheet as Opie placed his hand on Yhwach's chest, letting it shine blue, knowing it wasn't as warm, as comforting as Karin's, the way Yhwach trembled made him dig his fingers into his chest without Opie realizing.

"Karin....what is happening to Karin?" Yhwach's voice is hoarse, weak, trembling hand reaching up to grasp at Opie's wrist, the Sternritter in question swallowing thickly.

"It...it has begun, Your Majesty."