Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hello! I know I said that if I was gonna add info dumps, I’d just slap them on the end of the HSR sequel chapter, but the stuff I wrote turned out really long and then I realized: if I’m going to continuously add stuff (and I will considering that both Genshin and HSR are still ongoing), wouldn’t that make the info dump portion longer than the actual sequel? (I mean, it practically already is but still.) So! I’ve decided to make a completely different chapter to add whatever miscellaneous thing I want! Enjoy!

5/25/24 EDIT:

Hellooooooo I’m back again with things that really should’ve been talked about before but I just flat out forgot and stuff that’s been thought about since the last update (Feb 2024 AKA pre-HSR 2.0)! Also, the edit date doesn’t mean I wrote all of this edit in one day, just that this is when I started this edit. OKAY!

Bro how the fuck did Shinigami die from a single stab wound but survive a naked sky dive from Mount Narukami 💀. Okay, I actually had an explanation for this but I forgot to write it and by the time I remembered it wasn’t really a big deal until it started bugging me that I never explained it even though no one actually brought it up but I just really like being thorough with what I write! Wow, that was probably a run-on sentence— oh well, I’m not gonna edit that.

Ahem! So, basically, when Shinigami was making her body, she made it very durable to blunt damage just so she wouldn’t worry about traversing high terrain (typical in Sumeru) or her general clumsiness damning her. I know it’s probably bad to have bones unable to break when hit with a bunch of force to absorb the impact and will probably lead to major internal bleeding but… actually I don’t have a good reason. UH TEYVAT HAS ITS OWN LAWS SURELY IT DOESN’T MATTER THAT MUCH. 

Ahem! x2 That being said, Shinigami didn’t really think much about piercing/slicing damage because it was an era of relative peace. Like she knew that it would eventually go to shit but she also knew that she wasn’t a fighter and most likely wasn’t gonna be near a situation where she had to fight (a bookworm recluse does that to you). That view was further enforced when she starting learning how to utilize powers of the Abyss, in which now she could just teleport out of any bad situation. And again, she might need surgery to mend that internal bleeding from all those free falls, so it's probably better that she kept her body vulnerable for slicing/piercing damage.

Also, to clarify, blunt damage and piercing damage are different in terms of surface area as the bigger size the force, the more the force and impact is going to spread when contacted with another object. Hence why you’re most likely to bash someone’s head open with a stiletto heel instead of a baseball bat if exerting the same amount of force.

Look, I know it doesn’t really matter in the end because she died anyway but that has just been. REALLY bothering me.

Speaking of her death, I think I really should have mentioned the absolute TRAUMA Shinigami’s death enacted on herself. Obviously, experiencing death is a whole life’s worth of trauma, but it’s really the build up leading to her death that fucked her up. 

You see, Shinigami’s death was easily avoidable. She knew for a while before that confrontation between her and Aether that the latter was slipping her grasp. That he was getting stressed over his responsibilities of being the Abyss Prince reaching at its peak. Shinigami could’ve easily swayed Aether with enough time, patience, and plenty of heart-felt words; however, she hesitated. She never liked confrontation in the first place— she was scared of coming off as judgmental or apathetic or cold, of accidentally hurting the other person’s feelings, of losing whatever trust they had in her, of being laughed at for taking things seriously, of changing their relationship for the worst, of feeling humiliated and like a clown, of losing a friend.

Even as Aether corrupted her mind, she could’ve easily stopped him with one genuine shove— she did struggle, but it barely half-assed rather than an actual attempt of trying to retaliate— he was holding her so gently as fragile glass, after all. But she was scared that by rejecting him, they would no longer be friends. She didn’t want another friend to leave her.

As always, I am a coward.

The worst part was what Aether said to her: “You are a kind person.”

To be honest, I can’t feel myself as a kind person. Intellectually, I know I am— but I can’t feel it. Not when whatever kindness I do stems from some kind of fear or societal expectations rather than righteous reasons. I know that an act of kindness is an act of kindness regardless of intention but I’m a rather self-centered person so all I really care about is how I feel about something.

And while I do think that kindness should be a given, I genuinely don’t think it’s possible to be kind without ulterior motives, no matter how light those motives can be. Honestly, this is mostly based off of stuff that accumulated over the years of my youth (not as bad as you may think, but they definitely impacted me more than it should have) but basically, it’s also why I’m genuinely unable to be grateful.

Actually, this might not be the worst part of the situation LMAO. Later on, perhaps one of her low moments as an emanator of the Abundance, Yaoshi will delve into why THEY made her into an emanator in the first place. Yes, I already said that THEY chose her because she had an open mind and provided a refreshing, creative perspective on paths, but most importantly, deep inside, Shinigami was kindhearted.

When Shinigami hears that, she instantly gets Aether PTSD— cut to yet another 10k word count of her spiraling.

Also, I know it’s way too late to say this, but don't feel too much pity towards me, okay? All of this is self-indulgent and a way to vent, so even if I probably exposed myself more than I should have, it feels nice to get this out. SELF-IMPOSED THERAPY!

All in all, Shinigami was FUCKED UP because of Aether, even more so than she was before. This is why you don’t influence people to become yanderes, folks!

Also, GUYS, after I posted this chapter and like right before spring break, I binged Scum Villain Self Saving System and!!! I love it so much!!! It's not perfect or anything (like holy shit do you either need to reread the whole thing or read a bunch of fans-interpretations to really understand the story and all of its subtext) but the characters are so enjoyable-- cut to me binging a bunch of fanfics for the past months. No, legit, that's what I've been doing this whole entire time lolol. My favorite is Shen Jiu-- no surprise considering this fic. BUT THE POINT OF THIS LITTLE TANGENT is that I read a really good fanfic with the Shen bros with a similar premise with this one and that's so? Nice??? I'm not planning to write an actual fanfic of this anytime soon but it's so comforting that people would actually like this idea!

ANYWAY-- and then she got even more fucked up by Yaoshi. Okay, so I know I warned about body horror at the beginning of the HSR chapter but never really delved into it because, well… I just didn’t know how to properly describe it lolol. I also don’t know how to draw it (and I’m scared of searching for references) so hnggggg you guys never realized the horror of your body slowly getting clogged up by plants. 

I mentioned how after the Ymir feast, Yaoshi began making plants fester within Shinigami’s body as a sort of “punishment” and as a piss-poor method of discouraging her to not get hurt, but I never elaborated how she eventually became a contained ECOSYSTEM, nourishing the plants with her artificial body fluids. And it’s constantly MOVING. To be fair, by the time this development happens, Shinigami doesn’t feel that much pain (still hurts whenever a limb just cut off but she can handle internal aches) and she was already used to her body vibrating in all sorts of places before she even became a voice in Lune’s head, but it’s still unnerving to see something writhing under her skin. Additionally, as a puppet, she doesn’t need to breath so she isn’t experiencing a total Hanahaki suffering (thank the lord because as I rediscovered with my bi-yearly fever, I HAVE SUCH TERRIBLE MUCUS ISSUES LIKE I WILL BE WAKING UP CHOKING ON IT EVERY NIGHT).

The real body horror is when Shinigami gets critically injured (quite often actually) and the plants within her start lashing out against her enemies. While STILL in her body. She basically becomes a horrid contortion of limbs and vines— truly an Abomination of Abundance, am I right? That’s why she asks Blade to attempt to “die as a human” considering that even as he’s constantly lost himself to the Mara, he’s never turned into… that. 

I wished HSR leaned in more to body horror aspect of the Mara-struck. I know it would be too graphic for the current audience, but I think it would be really cool. If Limbus Company could have whatever the FUCK Kromer was and the fucking Wall of Flesh in Terraria and have BOTH still be on the App Store, surely Hoyoverse can think of something, right?

What’s the deal with Shinigami being constantly mutilated, anyway? As time goes on and she gains more experience in tackling Stellaron Hunter missions, shouldn’t she be too competent to get injured than before? Well, the thing is, as Shinigami’s skill increases, Elio also increases the difficultly of each mission simultaneously— we need someone to do the impossibly difficult, near suicidal missions, right? So, it doesn’t really feel like she’s improving at all (which does absolute WONDERS on her psyche. Aka it thrashes it to the ground and stomps on it multiple times before taking a huge ass dump on it) even though at her peak, she is VERY powerful, even among other emanators.

Okay, I know that I’m painting Elio in a really bad light even though we barely know the guy but considering that he literally ordered others to destroy civilizations and planets for possibly the “greater good,” I don’t think abusing his employee is entirely out of left field. This may be a self-indulgent brain dump but, unfortunately, I love angst and the intricacies of toxic relationships (in fiction of course).

Another thing I've been thinking about this brainrot is the possible arcs the HSR sequel could have-- not anything concrete, but rather the many possibilities. You see, with a premise of sci-fi and all about exploring different planets and civilzations, can basically make up a bunch of shit and still be not outlandish to canon! That's great! That's amazing! Because I don't have to research about literally every single piece of lore just to stay canon compliant if I'm allowed to write almost anything I want! Of course, I'd have to double check stuff that's related to whatever I create (like Paths and organizations) but! The pressure is lower than the time I wrote my AVOOCU fanfic and had to fact check everything!

Anyway, once I realized that, I started thinking about the themes of the arcs. Just like the main storyline of HSR, I want it to revolve around the Paths (ex. Hunt, Presevation, Abundance, Elation) but the actual content within the arcs will be based on story genres or mashups of them. Some of the arcs will also be based off of the Stellaron missions that were mentioned in Kafka's Myriad trailer but I think it would be fun to see the readers try to figure out what "Path" of an arc is based the genre it supposedly is: for instance, the Ymir feast is definitely the Nihility arc, but the readers obviously would not know at first and since the arc is probably Xianxia-based with Shinigami engaging with the Elixer Seekers, they'll wrongly assume that it is the Abundance arc.

Another idea I had of an arc is if Shinigami had to go to a planet with a massive gang war but also revolving around Idols. It's a funny combination considering the contrast of the two but it also would've made a good Harmony arc with the climax of the two sides uniting to fight a bigger force (maybe a stellaron) (or the Stellaron Hunters lmao) and a crazy ass very-idol-esque but encouraging song harmonizing the two together. But then I realized... wait, that's just Splatoon.

And then 2.2 happened in which was revealed that, apparently, Robin had the exact situation happen to her but it failed miserably! I SWEAR I'm not lying when I say that I had this idea before that update dropped and don't look into story leaks, it's just a huge coincidence! Honestly, I think it would a be really funny moment between Sunday and Shinigami if the former talks about that situation because the latter will just stand there awkwardly, feeling both bad about what happened but also thinking: L bozo bro that sounds like a skill issue like I did that and got out just fine (only a few organs exploded and an eye got gorged but still) so I think that's just a her problem lol lmao oh holy shit I'm a terrible person.

I also think it would be funny if I made an arc based on the magical girl genre and everybody will first think that it's the Elation arc or something only for it fucking crash and burn and oh. It's the Destruction arc. (Man, I love Madoka Magica.) 

Of course, the arc will also determine which Stellaron Hunter will accompany Shinigami. Using the idol gang war and magical girl examples, I'm thinking of an all girl's team of Shinigami, Silverwolf, and Firefly (I'm not sure about Kafka because while she does fit the gang war aspect, I can't really picture her as an idol. Also sending four members might be too overkill for the mission lol) since the gang war arc is also gonna be based off of that really niche anime genre where only girls are used as weapons for some reason. I don't really have any other ideas of arcs, but based on just Paths, Kafka might appear in the Enigmata, Erudition, and Elation arcs whereas Blade would probably appear in the Remembrance, Hunt, and Preservation arcs. Obviously, I probably won't try to do all the Paths within HSR and I probably won't even try to make some profound message or interpretation of the selected Path at the end of the story-- if anything, these arcs are here to help Shinigami finally get her character development (the Genshin portion of this self-insert is more like encouraging Shinigami to start changing for the better with the only significant character development at the end).

Also, I think people already figured this out but the HSR sequel is definitely much darker than anything I've written: if not for the nature of Shinigami's existence as an emanator of the Abundance but because the Stellaron Hunters are usually an antagonistic/3rd party force in the story. Usually being assholes with everyone even with slightly good intentions, really. (I know Shinigami already had a sort of antagonistic role to the "story" considering that she resided within Scaramouche but she was basically a spectator to most things and. Well. Half of the time was with looking at paperwork.) Also, I'm just realizing that this is basically just torture porn and I'm like wait that's not what I intended but while I want to say that there's a point to all of this found at the end of the story but... there really isn't LMAO. It's not all angst but it's definitely a huge portion;;;

Speaking of the Stellaron Hunters, Firefly! Tbh, even though story leaks about her were everywhere, I didn't really find it believable that she was Sam until the end of the first Penacony Trailblaze Quest where we first met Sam and then I was like "no yeah she's definitely Sam." But in the 2.2 quest, I kinda... got discouraged? Because lowkey Firefly felt like Shinigami during that scene with Blade LMAO (also. Blade? Driving??? That's fucking hilarious and completely unexpected like whoever thought up of the idea of a suicidal manical peepaw whipping out a driver's license needs to get a raise holy fucking shit I laughed my ass off) and how she wants to "die like a human." Like, I know I shouldn't feel like some copycat considering that now I have digital proof that I didn't just rip off Firefly's personality but. Still. 

But then I realized: MORE FOUND FAMILY DYNAMICS. Also--

Firefly: do you even know how to drive?

Blade: I got a driver's license.

Firefly: no. you're not driving. I don't trust a sleep-deprived suicidal maniac like you.

Firefly, turning towards Shinigami: how about you?

Shinigami: I... technically got one. Um. 300 years ago. And even then, I sucked and barely drove.

Firefly:

Firefly: We're so fucked. We're going to crash.

And when it was confirmed that Firefly was Sam, I started thinking on if Shinigami or Firefly would be the "eldest" sister out of Shinigami, Firefly, and Silverwolf. Silverwolf is obviously the youngest (I mean, LOOK at her-- such a bratty, spoiled child who everybody happily pampers! Me included.) and while Shinigami is technically the oldest out of the three, I can't really imagine myself as the eldest. 

Shinigami: you know, you would definitely be my older brother's favorite character.

Firefly: ...do I want to know why?

Shinigami: you're depressed soft-spoken but badass

Also, I think Shinigami immensely appreciates and breaths a sigh of relief whenever she gets assigned with Firefly for missions since the latter, as Sam, basically does all the work and decimates the whole field before anything complicated happens (which means less limbs lost and painfully healed back together!).  

Abruptly, new topic: cellphones! When Shinigami finally gets reunited with modern technology (aka a phone), she starts naming all of her contacts:

Kafka - Roach (No This isn’t an Insult it’s a Reference Please don’t Kill Me)

• based off of Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis

Sam/Firefly - Samsa

• based off of Project Sekai’s Samsa due to the relevant themes of the song, the SAM in Samsa, and Firefly shares the same VA as Kanade. Also apparently Samsa is the last name as the MC of Metamorphosis so that’s cool

Blade - William Afton Pee Paw (But WITHOUT the Child Murder)

• He's always an old man to her
• Wait Dan Heng's pretty young for a Vidyadhara does he count as a child--

Silver Wolf - Silvyyyyy

• based on my tendency to add the “e” sound to everything; other option could be Bronie~ but considering that she’s a Bronie exp and not actually her probably not

Elio - I am a Cat 

• literally ripped off of Soseki Natsume's book I am a Cat. Is it relevant to his character? No, but I still think it's funny
• Was gonna do Ellie but didn't (immediately breaking my tendency to add the “e” sound to everything) cuz that's the same name as my dog— pretty funny considering that he’s a cat

Trailblazer (when they meet in the main story) - Trash Buddy

• Imma be honest I can't believe I forgot about my habit of picking up random shit on the ground. Like, I kinda limited that habit when I accidentally picked up a vape (and was very tempted to keep it can yall blame me it was a REALLY NICE SHADE OF PINK SMH). But! The point is that while I would not go dumpster diving with them (come on I have standards), we would probably exchange whatever we find to each other and then hoard them. Even after the Trailblazer loses their memories and joins the Astral Express, Shinigami would probably still kept those trinkets somewhere in her room

If we consider gameplay, I have one idea about what a text conversation between Shinigami and the Trailblazer would be:

Shinigami [NO, You Cannot Bed with Yaoshi. THEY'd Consent but Your Brain will Explode]:

Shinigami: Silvy

Shinigami: Silvyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Shinigami: Where are you, weren't you supposed to help me defeat this boss?

Trailblazer: wrong number

Shinigami:

Shinigami: Omg, I'm so sorry. 

Shinigami: She just yelled at me. Silver Wolf was supposed to play with me but I guess she was busy finishing a rhythm game.

Trailblazer: nah we cool. I respecc the grind

Shinigami: Thank you.

Shinigami: Wait, now that we're here, want to help? Here:

Shinigami: Insert HONKAI IMPACT 3RD Parody Here

And then, upon clicking on the link, the player would legit start playing Honkai Impact. Well, a multiplayer version (cuz ofc you're still gonna play with Shinigami and Silver Wolf. Or have the simulation that you are). In fact, you are fighting against Kevin as the Herrscher of Finality with Silver Wolf playing as the Herrscher of Truth and Shinigami playing as the Herrscher of Origin. I'm actually more of a Herrscher of Human: Ego main but I felt it would be fitting to play as the Final Trio since we already have the MC and a Bronya expy. IDK I just think it would be really fucking funny to have a sudden gameplay change from some random text message; what would be also really funny is if it was immersive and felt like you were in a discord call with Shinigami yelling half of the time (rip headphone users) and Silver Wolf spitting out curses the other half of the time. Side note, when I first fought Kevin, I kinda regret choosing the normal difficulty cuz it was too easy and thus underwhelming (look man, the Otto boss was hard at normal difficulty so I thought it would be like that). 

Moving on, I realized that with Aether brainwashing Shinigami into believing that she was traveling with him, Shinigami could have memories of learning swordsmanship from him (since it would be strange if she didn't learn weaponry self-defense when physically in a world of chaos). Is she actually good or even decent at sword fighting? Hell no! Memories does not mean experience or instantly getting muscle memory lol. That being said, now there's an option of getting one of the Stellaron Hunters to train her.

Blade, after finding out that Shinigami knows basic sword skills: I can help you train

Shinigami:

Shinigami, knowing his exact backstory: pardon me if I’m overstepping, but were you actually taught how to sword fight, or were you sliced up so much that you memorized just how exactly you were slaughtered?

Blade: 

Blade: …tch.

Okay I know that Blade used to be part of the High-Cloud Quintet (as Yingxing) so he could have learned swordsmanship but this is just for the sake of comedy. Also, even though realistically Shinigami would want to have all options of defense, I am tempted to just scrap the idea of Swordfighter! Shinigami cuz then she'd be too OP. She already has Abundance emanator and Abyss powers, add swordsmanship and then you can't really rationally explain why she gets killed all the time (wow Author it's like you should reduce the bloodshed and gore like a reasonable author-- SHHHHHHHHH). Also, let's be honest, they would all be bad teachers-- maybe not Kafka, but that would also be at the expense of Shinigami losing what little dignity she has left.

Speaking of Aether though, 4.7! HOLY SHIT THE ARCHON QUEST WAS SO SWEET??? I WAS EXPECTING LIKE EPIC FIGHTS AND TONS OF TENSION NOT A GENUINELY SWEET YET ANGSTY REUNION. I'm tempted to change some parts of the first chapter since the Loom of Fate got completed much faster than I thought and isn't actually that bad (itself, not really intentions the Abyss Order might have for the thing), but I probably won't since I like looking back at past works and it's a pretty major part of the self-insert (aka I have no fucking idea how to replace the catalyst of Aether brainwashing Shinigami lolol). As a little heads up, if I'm going to edit the past chapters, it'll be mainly additions or very minor changes. 

Anyway, after the Ymir feast, I feel like the Stellaron Hunters would take turns sleeping with Shinigami so that she wouldn't get nightmares, thus leading to this situation:

Shinigami, bloody on one side: you know, when I said that you were a cutsleeve--

Shinigami: I didn't mean for you to CUT YOUR DAMN ARM OFF *gestures to a bloody mess with a chopped arm lying in the middle*

Blade, already have regrown an arm: you were still sleeping and I didn't want to disturb you, so I cut it off.

Shinigami: that's-- that's not how the tale goes...

Shinigami, pausing to stare at the limb before tentatively picking it up: ...wait, can I keep this? It's sorta cute.

Blade: are you going to do anything strange with it?

Shinigami: besides cuddling and playing with it? Probably not.

Blade: Fine.

[YOU GOT A THING: CUTSLEEVE! (ORGANIC) (UNDYING)]

Look man I thought it would be funny. Though, now Shinigami has to wrestle with Yaoshi who wants to turn the arm into a mutant zombie hand biohazard weapon pet thingie.

9/2/24 EDIT:

OKAY. So I know it’s been a huge time difference between this one and the last one… but writer’s block is crazyyyyyyyyy. Also I’ve been zooming through MDZS/SVSSS fanfics and catching up on anime this entire summer so uh yeah.

The Genshin 4.8 event! I loved it because it had both Wanderer, Wanderer character development, and a new Wanderer friend!!! KYAAAAAA I DIDN’T REALIZE HOW MUCH I MISSED HIM UNTIL I SAW THE EVENT TRAILER JANFJWKFMKWKFNKAKFBAJ and Mini Durin! He’s so cute!!!

Speaking of Durin, while playing the quest and hearing more about the dragon, I thought to myself “haha this sounds like another ‘Gold is a Bad Mom’ plot” AS A JOKE. I DIDN’T MEAN IT TO BE IT TO ACTUALLY BE DURIN. Also, HAHA I MADE THE DURIN AND SCARA CONNECTION FIRST I GOT DIGITAL PROOF RIGHT HERE HAHAHA I’M A GENIUS!!!

Though, if I had to be completely honest, although I love this new plot thread, I wish that Genshin could have at least resolved some other plot threads first LIKE MEETING KAZUHA AND CONCLUDING THE WHOLE NIWA ANGST/RAIDEN GOKUDEN INCIDENT. I already gave up with the Wanderer and Raiden Ei meeting with the whole Irminsul-memory-wiping stuff, but this is the thing I dislike about enjoying on-going stories: we don't know when or IF the writers would ever tie the plot threads (at least with reading finished stories, I am less likely to think about the plot holes since I'll just binge everything at once). I have some hope for Wanderer because he is a MAJOR character in terms of plot but I really hope that we don't see that in limited events. (I'll also cry if we don't get anything at the end of all this.)

Ahem, in terms of actual plot, I don’t think Shinigami would be inserted into it simply because Wanderer’s involvement was more of coincidence, though maybe I could twist the plot in that he only had the book to deliver it to Shinigami. Oh, but Shinigami would definitely go into the book in the after story and she would definitely hug the fuck out of Mini Durin. Because look at him! He’s adorable!!! (They both drag Lune in, much to Lune’s slight chagrin and exasperated fondness.)

But for the Archon quest Bedtime Story (I liked it it was both really cute and sad just my cup of tea), Shinigami would play a bigger role— though not to the point of changing the plot. After the events, Aether may speak of the experience to Shinigami and perhaps admit that he regrets that he can’t remember his reunion with Lumine. At that moment, Shinigami suddenly gets an idea and quickly sets off to do it. 

What’s that idea? Well, Reader, what are you reading?

When the two meet again, Shinigami presents him with a stack of papers, nervously urging him to look through them. Aether isn’t quite sure what is making her so nervous, but indulges her anyway. Getting comfortable, he turns to the first page and—

It’s a written adaptation of the siblings’ reunion.

The story is most likely not entirely accurate (it would be surprising if the girl did remember every line and detail from centuries ago) and he already had a picture from Caribert so he already had a momento but….

Aether hugs Shinigami after reading.

(When Shinigami hands another copy to Lumine, the Traveler does the same thing.)

Also! Sunday!

Blade: What are you doing

Shinigami, putting up streamers and balloons: I’m getting ready to welcome our newest member, Sunday!

Kafka: Hm? Didn’t you know?

Kafka: Sunday is joining the Astral Express, not the Stellaron Hunters.

Shinigami: *glass shattering sound effect*

[Later]

Dan Heng [For anything related to the Data Bank, come find me]:

Shinigami: Dan Danny my boy please please send Sunday pics please I beg of you I kneel before you I’m willing to suck your toes please I just want to see my cute little manipulator please—

Dan Heng: Stop.

Shinigami: 🥺

Dan Heng: …I’ll ask March for pictures of him if you never send anything like that again.

Shinigami: Okay! If I remember.

Also, I read a comment a while ago about how after the Sam identity reveal, they didn't like how Firefly was only shown as an "uwu anime girl" and I actually agree lmao. I mean, it is true that she is a soft-spoken, determined girl trying to be relatively normal, but it's true that she is also a SERIAL KILLER who was praised by BLADE of all people for always turning the battlefield into a burning purgatory. So, if I end up writing the HSR sequel in full, I'm definitely making Firefly a bit more bloodthirsty (or faster to resort to violence) than depicted in canon. God forbid Shinigami goes on a mission with only Blade and Firefly. ("Kakfa please pick me up I'm scared I'm not used to being the brain cell of the team.")

Also also-- Sethos! SethosWanderer is actually so cute oh my fucking god Shinigami would make it super fucking obvious that she supports the ship to Wanderer even if the latter is not interested. Idk if Sethos would know about Shinigami because I'm not sure if he'll follow around Lune in the afternoon because that's most likely when they can be seen together. If so, Shinigami would actually be fully intimidated by his cheeriness like full on hiding away behind a chair and screaming. 

Now that I'm on the topic of relations and all that, I've heard that people don't like the Summer Simulanka event because of Wanderer's line of calling the Traveler cute because it "breaks his character" and I'm like: "? He's always been like that???" Even if we don't talk about Wanderer calling Sethos a "busy litte bee" in Sethos character story, he's always been forward towards others as both Wanderer and Scaramouche, ESPECIALLY the traveler (and Haypaysia lmao). That being said, I wouldn't really call all of the instances "flirty" because there's always a small hint of provocation in his words (except Haypasia I'm pretty sure he was openly caring towards her ngl). It's sort of like Kuya from Nu Carnival who refers to others respectfully only to unnerve said people (in which they later on definitely become pet names lmao). Tbh I don't really blame people for thinking that its OOC of Wanderer because he IS definitely a tsundere, but he is also someone well aware of the appeal of both himself and others. It's like what I slightly delved into in the first chapter where he can objectively see that he is attractive because he was made by a God, but cannot wrap his head around the idea that his personality and inner self is also beautiful. Also, what's wrong with him changing, hmm??? He finally got a life where he can be open to others again! Let him be more casual!!!

...This has nothing to do with the brain dump. I think I just wanted to talk about Wanderer.

11/7/24 EDIT:

Yall the Sabzeruz Festival event was so good!!! It was so heartwarming with the Crewmeru and honestly might be one of my fav events in Genshin right next to the Shadows Amidst Snowstorms. That being said, I really wish the game told you where all the optional conversations were, even if it was subtly hinted within the dialogue: you wouldn’t even know that Layla or Wanderer were in the event unless you got told by someone else online or got lucky with wandering around💀

It’s because of this event that I realized 2 things— one is that SethosScaraShinigami could actually be a thing, or at least have enough interactions where there can be a feasible friendship. You see, Shinigami’s job is to be a reader and find out knowledge from obscure places (like fairytales and what not). This would probably mean that she’ll be one of the people assigned to look through the texts within the Temple of Silence. Sethos, being the leader of of said organization, would probably see her every time and start conversing with her (much to Shinigami’s panic). They’ll soon become friends and when Sethos find out that Shinigami lives with Lune (either by stalking watching him and seeing them together or Shinigami watching Sethos stalking Lune), the duo may eventually change into a trio+Mini Durin! (Rip Ayato and Aether y’all are 2nd male leads.)

The other part that I thought about because of this event isn't actually new but I just never knew how to bring it up… I don’t know if Shinigami can see the Aranara 💀. I mean, I am childish but I don’t think I’m child-like or have that childhood innocence. I imagine that the Aranara would be scared of Shinigami, especially since she can use powers of the Abyss. But then again, Wanderer can see them and he’s jaded as fuck so uh who knows. 

12/25/24 EDIT:

Happy holidays everyone! I got Sunday :D

Okay but like now I feel like I’m copying Fugue’s character backstory 💀 BECAUSE IT REALLY IS THE PREMISE OF THE HSR SEQUEL BUT JUST IN A DIFFERENT FONT like I didn’t plan that. Oh well, it doesn’t really matter.

To be honest, this entry won't be much but that this will probably be the last update before I post the Fatui AU and post the entire brain dump on AO3! (Happy new year, everyone! Happy birthday, Wanderer and Future-Me!) Quotev readers, if you prefer using AO3, it's just the same name as this one and will be out as you've read this. AO3 readers, it will be this installment in particular that will receive more updates (in terms of multiple chapters and this chapter specifically will get longer as Genshin and HSR update and I get more ideas) (for Quotev, everything will be in one story). That being said, don't expect a schedule for updates-- I write this whenever I get a burst of motivation and I wanna focus on Original Works at the moment.  

For now, I hope you enjoy, will enjoy, and enjoyed Genshin 5.3, HSR 3.0, and, of course, reading this story!

2/7/2025 UPDATE:

I think it would be really funny if there was a gag in the HSR sequel where Shinigami would get exasperated in situations and keep on lamenting “I miss my wife” and the readers would have a great laugh about it until it reaches the angstiest arc and Shinigami’s at her breaking point and she’s crying and doesn’t know what to do and she can’t help but sob “I… I miss Lune…!”

Ahaha, that would be funny.

3.0!!! Stellaron Hunters scenes!!! The first quest was aight but I absolutely loved the stellaron hunter interactions! I find it endearing that both Blade and Dan Heng uses the "three of a kind, two pair, ace" signal (I know they say it's a Xianzhou thing, but I also haven't seen anybody else use it so free real estate) (also I do ship RenHeng, but mostly in fanfics-- if we're just looking at canon, they are JUST starting to be neutral to each other so it's gonna take 5 years for them to be friends, if that'll ever happen lol).

Shinigami: Don't look back, but don't look at the faceless audience, Trailblazer

I thought the whole "let's dance, Trailblazer" was so fucking cool and it made me brainrot about if they'd always say that in the HSR sequel braindump during an arc climax. But then I felt that would've been too cringe and corny, so maybe just once during the last arc? Eh, not that I'll write it.

Honestly, that's something I wonder: if Genshin or HSR were to end, would I write an actual fanfic of this? Because a big reason I could finish my Naruto fanfic on Quotev/Wattpad was because the original source was finished (and because it was during quarantine). However, I don't know if I'll have the time to invest in such a big story (let me remind you that the outline full of gibberish is over 50k+) and I do want to eventually publish my original stories. I mean, I guess why I decided to write all this in the first place-- so that my ideas actually have a place.

Anyway, it felt a bit bittersweet saying goodbye to Kafka and I'm surprised that we even had the option to chose between Kafka and Firefly. I won't deny that Firefly and Trailblazer have a deep relationship, but isn't Firefly more about the present and future? She tells us this and I already inferred before reading it on the wiki but they established a new relation after the Trailblazer's mind-wipe. Kafka? Their relationship is bittersweet because almost ALL of it is stemmed in a past the Trailblazer does not remember, so it only makes sense to say goodbye to Kafka because SHE IS the past.

Ahhhhhhhhh she's gonna die. Kafka's sooooooooo gonna die when she finally feels fear for the first time and then sacrifices herself to save the Trailblazer and it's gonna hurt so bad. (That being said, if we had a choice I would've picked Blade because he's my fav of the team teehee.)

If Shinigami got an interaction, I think I'd... actually be really bitter. Not aggressively lashing out but, as you may know, I already have experience of losing friends and how they later act like we never had a friendship at all-- so I'll probably be angry. But seeing as it's inevitable, I'd accept it.

"If we meet again, I'll probably try to avoid you, but please reach out, okay? As much as I may try, I can never resist a hand holding out to me."

Abrupt Segway but I still have the scrapped scene of FatuiAU!Shinigami and Dottore, so here it is!

“Would you let me experiment on you?”

”Sure.”

Dottore pauses on his work, glancing up to meet the gaze of the puppet girl with a scrutinizing gleam on his mask. “Oh, and what’s the reasoning behind this change of mind?”

Yes, it wasn’t the first time the Doctor had asked Shinigami to experiment on her. In fact, ever since he brought her into her vessel on that fateful day, the man would always ask her in every “check-up:” before the check-up, during the check-up, after the check-up, in-between the appointing of the next time— all brought up so casually that Shinigami suspected that he wanted her to slip up. The Descender hadn’t ever slipped up, even with her usually airheaded demeanor— not even now, when she finally accepted his offer.

”Why are you not just accepting it? What, you want me to take it back?” On any other person, perhaps this would have as much snark as intended; however, with the scrunched up expression, Shinigami sounded childish. If this was the girl before she transmigrated into some mind parasite, she would’ve never dared talk back to someone as insane as Dottore, but habits from acting as Scaramouche periodically stuck. “I see you eyeing my parts every time we do this, even though you’re already screwing around with Scaramouche’s.” Greedy ass motherfucker.

“Hm,” the mad scientist cocked his head to the side with a minuscule smirk laced on his facial features, “but that’s not an answer, is it?”

Shinigami really, really wanted to skedaddle away but alas, his arm was inside her stomach. She sighed deeply through her nose. “What are the chances that I’ll win a physical fight?”

”Unless taken by complete surprise, close to zero percent.”

”I can’t tell if your words mean that you have a sliver of hope for me, or just that you have to say that by default as a scholar.”

Dottore laughed at that, lowering his gaze back at his work, “that is why we scholars conduct experiments, to confirm or deny our hypotheses.”

“Mm,” was all Shinigami had to say before moving on: “since it’s near impossible for me to win a fight, I at least want to survive such an encounter— that’s why I want you to make me more durable. Enhance my defense or something like that.” I would try and see if artifacts work the same as in the game but… when would I even have the opportunity to go artifact farming? And again, that falls under the dilemma of needing to win a fight since that’s needed to complete a domain. Haah, I know that there were npc’s who sold artifacts, but how would I even know the stats?

”That is a fair idea, if not lazy,” the puppet tuned back to the Doctor’s musing with puffed up cheeks. He’s right but also! I am working on self-defense! Just without your knowledge! “But have you considered that more durability means that you are simply capable of enduring more pain than necessary?”

The Descender pursued her lips and pushed the rim of her glasses (oh my god I forgot she had glasses in this AU), letting the mad scientist move on from the stomach to tinkering with her arm. “I have— after all, I don’t like pain.” That’s why I don’t wanna fight in the first place. “I mean, if I were to get captured, I’d immediately spill details the instant torture is mentioned.”

“Oh? How unfortunate for you to be the secretary of a harbinger then.”

”Whose fault is that— ow!” Shinigami winced at a certain part of her being tightened too much. “Fuck off!” She kicked the man in retaliation, though lighter than she would’ve liked so that she wouldn’t have accidentally messed up something.

True to her strength, Dottore merely let out an undeterred hum before glancing back up, this time a calculating shine on his mask. “Well, if it is your dislike for pain inhibiting you in physical prowess, then how about forgoing the sensation of pain entirely? Disabling the pain receptors is easier than whatever upgrades you want.”

He’s baiting me, the Descender huffed in slight disdain as she bit into the bait anyway, “we both know that’s a stupid idea.” On the surface, that seems like a no-brainer: unless you’re some masochist, why would you want to feel pain? Shinigami looked away from the Doctor’s amused, imploring grin. “While I’ll try to avoid it, the ability to perceive pain is an important factor in keeping a functional, healthy body. Having chronic pain or something similar is bad, yes, but not feeling any pain is just as terrible.”

How nice it would be to never feel pain, to never experience just how much hurt one can feel. However, if not for that, you’re just one step away from becoming an empty husk.

Well, it would be the same if there’s nothing inside said “husk” in the first place…

…Shinigami darted her eyes back to Dottore, not at all liking the expression on his face. “So just stick with me becoming tougher. You did say that this body can only improve, not worsen— your pride as a scientist is on the line here.”

Dottore cackled at that, throwing his head back. “Yes, it seems so!” He stood up, leaning forward to the point that his face was mere inches apart from the puppet. “I’d best not disappoint you— so please don’t disappoint me in turn, my little parasite.”

Shinigami shivered.

So, yeah, not an interesting scene and was mainly just to push the plot forward. Again, I decided to scrap it and push the role of upgrades to Enjou because it just isn't realistic for Shinigami to EVER reveal her intentions to Dottore besides the simple want of fucking over his plans.

And Mizuki's character quest! I actually liked it: it's relatively simple but it does a decent job in establishing her character. The one thing that sorta bugs me is that the romantic undertones feel forced? Maybe it's because I play as Lumine but I thought the two had chemistry as FRIENDS-- I overall like the tree scene but the blush and "the moon is beautiful" line felt unneeded. Now, I don't mind multiple characters having crushes on the MC, even in gacha games, but maybe the toxic fandom's obsession with ships and the whole "AetherHarem" thing just tainted my view on character interactions.

Anyway, I mentioned this quest because it revolves around dreams and how to deal with negative emotions-- it reminded me of Dae and how he was made to deal with Shinigami's negative thoughts. I have to admit... Dae's method is more like the antagonist's: while he doesn't push them away in the dark corner of Shinigami's mind and instead outright erases them, it ultimately does not help Shinigami in the long run and just leaves her numb and emotionless. Dae's a bit of a subconscious blip at the start but, in another universe where Shinigami lives, post!Aether brainwash Dae would have a more active role and possibly lean more towards Mizuki's method. (I actually had an idea of this before Mizuki got announced but! Idk if I'll ever finish that lmao.)

Oh wow I was supposed to upload that but forgot so now it's 2/28 and HSR 3.1 came out! Tbh, I don't really have much to say about it other than I liked it-- AND ANAXA. OHHHHH MY GOD I WAS ALREADY EXCITED ABOUT HIM SINCE HE'S HOT BUT THEN THE TRAILBLAZE QUEST.

Shinigami 🤝 Anaxa: Getting a piece of a deity inside of them and dissing said deity

Speaking of deity, CERES IS SO HOT AND YAOSHI-CODED (appearance-wise but a bit personality-wise too??? Idk they seem more... I don't want to say kinder because Yaoshi is all about benevolence but sees their subject in a more equal stance compared to Yaoshi who pities their subjects and treats them as children). 

3/15/25:

You know, I have actually thought about an AU on if Yaoshi had actually used Shinigami's body as a pseudo horcurx in the end but the results... weren't pretty. Like a really angsty mix of To Your Eternity and Frieren.

I fear I may get whitewashed. LMAO but I'm sorta not kidding because throughout Shinigami's journey in HSR, as she becomes more in-tuned with the Abundance, she slowly grows characteristics resembling Yaoshi (tree antlers, scorpion horns, black cracks with eyes, hair turning blond), so realistically Yaoshi would literally just look like Shinigami but with their color palette. However, if this were a game played by others, then Hoyoverse would get flamed for whitewashing one of the few tan characters (not that they would care considering how they handled Natlan backlash-- I MEAN WHAT. WHO SAID THAT), so I guess we'd just keep the skin color the same. It'd help with staying incognito too lol (Yaoshi supposedly just died after all).

Anyway, Yaoshi's new life is a total whumpfest because they never got over Shinigami lolol. Like they're constantly begging for a soul that no longer exists to come back.

I just realized that this is like. Pseudo selfcest. Huh.

I imagine that one moment, like maybe Yaoshi is fighting someone and is losing and the enemy would taunt them saying "oh, why won't you just give up? Your loved ones wouldn't want you to suffer like this." 

And then Yaoshi remembers what Shinigami said near her death bed and has an epiphany: " I used to want people to either suffer for all eternity, or have them utterly detest me— isn't that weird? I wanted to be loved so much to the point that people would never move on from my death. And if not that, then I'd rather they didn't care at all." Shinigami WOULD want Yaoshi to suffer. It's then that Yaoshi crashes out powers up and becomes a pathstrider of the Remembrance and later on journeys to find a way to recreate Shinigami's soul as a twisted love/revenge (toxic relationship go brrrrrrrrrr). 

Tbh, the implementation of the new Remembrance class came in CLUTCH because I struggled on what Yaoshi's would-be playstyle would be besides. Well. just healing. Yaoshi would summon plant structures resembling a slumbering Shinigami and either heal or do damage to enemies, not exactly sure on if they'd be a full-support. What I do know is that Yaoshi would absolutely detest getting hurt not because of the pain but because it would be messing up Shinigami's body, so maybe that'll translate into a counter follow-up attack mechanic like Clara and Yunli? In terms of element there’s no grass element but I was thinking wind? Idk I just think the whimsical aspect of wind fits Yaoshi yet is pretty ironic since I think the wind element is more associated with the Hunt lmao.

Speaking of play styles, I wanna update on Shinigami's. I have two ideas: one that's adding onto the play style I proposed before (Quantum 5 star with the skill hitting others and healing a single ally based on the damage and her atk stats), but I wanted a mechanic where every time she gets get, Shinigami gains a stack for her ult (like Acheron). Once she gets enough stacks, you can activate her ultimate and she turns into absolute plant body horror lmao. Shinigami's action is forwarded and she can lash out massive AOE quantum damage which will then convert into healing for the entire team + a percentage of her atk. I'm not sure if this would still be the Abundance class or more Destruction, but the next idea I have definitely is Abundance.

I call it: Magical Girl Shinigami lolol. I got the idea from the wiki where it states that Yaoshi said to have a staff in Foxian culture, so I thought it'd cool that she'd get a power up by Yaoshi gifting her a "branch" of their staff (because of course they'd spoil their emanator to bits). This then derailed into me day dreaming about Shinigami using her branch as a sort of magic wand and then if she had a magical girl transformation and then BAM! This happened! Her entire mechanic is basically just overhealing and the Dewdrop blessings in Simulated Universe-- turning bascially every healer into a dps hee hee. Just think of these two as Shinigami the Stellaron Hunter, and Shinigami the emanator of the Abundance. Her magical form would probably have Buddhism aspects too (with her “branch” resembling a Khakkhara) since Yaoshi is full of Buddhism/Hinduism and I am from a Buddhist background. This would probably be a 5 star imaginary-- which is a shame because now I think we can't have both ideas in the what-if game. 

Completely different topic, if Shinigami were to meet Castorice, Shinigami would not die from her touch! They can hug! I honestly wish that there wasn’t an in-lore reason why Amphoreus can’t be visited by outsiders because I think it would’ve been a cool time to insert Shinigami in the main story, though that probably would’ve made the cast too big lmao.

Chapter Text

Cold.

Holy fuck, it is cold.

Turning to their side, their body pressed against a hard surface. Still cold— and kinda breezy. The Voice’s lips pursued, brows furrowed, as they blindly reached out for their robe to pull over their figure. Yet, their hand collided with their thigh instead of any fabric. The Voice let out a groggily disgruntled sound, their heavy eyes slowly lifting to see downwards— only to halt at the sight bare skin.

With the fervor of a Victorian man catching a glimpse of a maiden’s ankle: Scandalous!

The Voice instantly sat right up, their long dark hair draping down their nude body with the motion. They seemed to have slept on a more-familiar-than-it-should-be metal table which, you know, wasn’t really a good sign? They glanced around to find themselves in a, again, more-familiar-that-it-should-be-alarming laboratory— desks full of notes, mysterious vials, and other knickknacks that belong in such a place. Turning to their left, their dark eyes widened slightly at the sight of their host (could they still call him that?) laying unconscious on a similar metal table nearby. Scara! The Voice moved to towards him—

“Not even a greeting towards me?”

Ah. The Voice’s gaze flicked upwards towards the man just behind Scaramouche’s figure with his hands crossed as he nonchalantly leaned against a desk, a bird mask and blue hair framing his condescending smirk. “No.” They spoke bluntly. I didn’t even want to acknowledge you.

Now that they were fully awake, the Voice could somewhat understand what was going on: ever since Dottore figured out how to go into the sixth harbinger’s mind (somehow, they still couldn’t beat up the doctor enough for the information) and meeting them, the doctor had been intruding every aftermath of a “check-up appointment” (really, can we just stop lying and say that it was just torture? Consented, sure, but still torture) and bothering them, even after all those threats and sometimes even physical aggressions. One day— today, actually— after a check-up that was surprisingly shorter than usual (in hindsight, it was most likely because the main act of the show had yet to begin), Dottore didn’t immediately jump into Scaramouche’s mind but instead walked away from view whilst still creeping the fuck out of the voice with his unnerving smile and incoherent science jumble under his breath. A few minutes full of shuffling sounds later and— bam! Lights went out.

Thus, comes to the conclusion: Dottore just made me a vessel, I am so fucked.

”Don’t be like that, little parasite, I simply gave you a physical vessel.” The Voice narrowed their eyes at the doctor for that— yes, that’s what I just thought, dipshit. Dottore, being the little shit that he is, ignored their silence and casually pushed himself off of his desk and sauntered towards the newly-hosted vessel. “I find myself proud of this work, a successful imitation of Scaramouche’s biology and a prototype for the next installment of my goal.”

So I was a test drive with the puppet technology? The Voice looked away in thought— makes sense, I think it would be somewhat terrifying if you failed at this with yourself— well, past self— as the test subject and had to watch them die horrifically… but then again, this is Dottore we’re talking about. The small figure then shivered, an instant reminder that, hey, they’re actually wearing nothing! In front of people! “Can you give me some clothes?” the Voice asked politely, considering that they were practically at the mercy of a mad scientist, as they glanced back at him, “it’s fucking cold in here.”

“No, I’d like to see how well the vessel moves around.”

The smaller individual groaned in disdain: “Dude, just give me a body suit or something— it’s not that hard.”

“The empty shell adapted to be of your figure only when your soul was placed within it, thus I could not know your measurements beforehand.”

“Buddy.”

”Oh? And here I thought I was mongrel.”

The Voice scowled, looking away and already done with dealing with the mad doctor. Slipping off of the hard metal table, the Voice winced briefly at the sheer coldness of the ground (why is this place so cold?! Well, okay, I can guess why, but it’s hella inconvenient!) before briskly making their way over to an inconspicuous desk where their former-host had left his large, fluffy Fatui-Harbinger-mandated coat. They immediately snatched it up and wrapped it around their form, snuggling close to the fabric with a small smile. Fluffy.

Looking back to the man, they could see him scribbling something on a check board— probably about how the parasite was not so picky about nicknames, or whatever. “You’ll be getting inspections alongside Scaramouche now—“

”What.” A strike of fear coursed through the Voice’s body, unconsciously stepping away with a shake of their head. “Nu-uh. I ain’t dealing with all of—“ they gestured vaguely towards the sixth harbinger’s direction— “that.”

Dottore cackled, finishing his notes with a flourish before lowering them: “No, it won’t be as extreme as what he goes through. Though, unless you’d be willing to go beyond your limits—“

”No.” The Voice immediately shot down. Then, they paused. “Wait, so is this body a perfect replication of me?”

”If my experiment was a complete success, then yes; however, I have engineered the vessel so that it could only improve upon its base, not worsen.”

”Oh.” They blinked, before squinting. “Well, I’m gonna need glasses, then. I can’t see shit.” No wonder why he looks like a blob. Wait, do they have eye surgery in Teyvat? In any case, there’s no way I’m gonna get eye surgery from him!

“Already willing to go into debt, are we?”

The Voice blinked before smiling: “I know Scaramouche’s bank account.”

Now, unfortunately for the Voice, their interaction did not end there for there was no way they were going to leave an unconscious Scaramouche with the mad doctor, no matter— no, especially because of how much he unnerved them. Thus, they spent the rest of the time staring Dottore do his work.

Thankfully, said time did not take long as the Voice soon heard low grumbles from the puppet. With a jolt of nervousness shooting up their spine, the Voice scampered away to behind the metal table they woke up in, a fair distance between the two. Their lips pressed together in anticipation the harbinger slowly sat up from his table and surveyed the lab, gaze stopping upon his colleague's appearance. "Dottore," he spoke plainly, albeit slightly groggier than usual since he was sleeping. It would have sounded like a simple greeting or remark to strangers, but the Voice could hear the small questioning lilt in his tone. Ah, that's probably because I'd always take over and walk off before he woke up— but then again, he did wake up earlier than usual.

"Scaramouche," Dottore greeted back, a devious, sharp grin laced on his face. "Feel any different? I've done a major change in your vessel, after all." 

His eyes narrowed in suspicion, lowering his head towards his body at first (or maybe trying to look inside of himself?) before flexing his sides under his scrutiny— until his sight landed upon the other person in the room. The person in question flinched under his gaze. “Who are you,” the puppet harbinger asked, though his low tone shaped his question like a demand, “and how dare a random dimwit use my coat.” His face darker into a glare.

Oh wow, I. Actually. Really do not want to be here right now. So, like a true epic gamer, the transmigrator immediately sunk to their knees and cowered behind their table— their safe haven.

The Voice didn’t even have to see him to know that Scaramouche’s eye twitched. "You insolent—"

Dottore had the gall to laugh at them. “And here I thought you two got along swimmingly, considering that you resided in the same body with little to no inner discourse noticed by others,” the mad doctor teased.

Two glares shot at him.

”Go die.”

“Burn in hell.”

The two puppets darted towards each other in silent surprise. Though, said silence was broken by the lowered puppet’s snort, combusting into small giggles. Scaramouche stared blankly at the squeaking individually, quickly reevaluating the situation. “The Voice…?”

The Voice immediately ceased their laughter at his murmur. Although they were protected by their table, they shifted their gaze nervously. “Mm,” they affirmed with a small bob of their head.

"How are you here?" Scaramouche got off of his table and walked towards the Voice, skepticism sketched on his face as he took in their facial features, "and why exactly are you wearing my coat?" There was still a hint of annoyance in his tone, but this time there was more curiosity. Ah, at least he's not trying to burn me alive with his eyes anymore, the transmigrator thought to themselves.

"I've always wanted to recreate the technology used to create you, and decided to use them as a prototype." The second harbinger explained before the Voice could respond.

The shorter harbinger scowled, though didn't turn his attention away from the other puppet. "Didn't ask you."

The transmigrator huffed slightly through their nose. "Dottie's a bitch ass motherfucker and didn't give me any clothes. It's cold." And, in a sudden burst of remembering that their kami-oshi had trust issues, they added: "And no, I didn't reveal myself to him as an attempt to scheme against you or something, he kept on barging in your mind space." The Voice pressed their lips together and squinted their eyes in indignation as their mind flashed back to those numerous instances— Scaramouche also whipped his head back towards the mad doctor with murder in his gaze. "Do you know how annoying it was to kick him out only for him to come back every damn torture session?!" 

"Oh please, I doubt you had anything else to do."

Um, excuse you, but I quite enjoy scrounging up random texts and making Scaramouche wake up to chock-boards full of crack-head theories of Teyvat! Yet, the Voice clamped their mouth shut lest they wanted to be under the scrutiny of Scaramouche again. Bro didn't even deny that these sessions were torture. "We're leaving." Their oshi announced with an irritated sigh, spinning his heels towards the exit.

"Ah, wait," the younger puppet (wait, am I newly birthed? Am I a baby? Is Dottore my father?) requested with a flap of their sleeve before stepping forward towards Dottore, ignoring the lingering stare the older puppet had on them. "Do you at least have shoes? I don't want my toes to fall off when I go outside." As one of many of Dottore's labotories, it was a bit off from the Zapolyarny Palace where Scaramouche's quarters resided in a wing, thus meaning that they had to travel through snow. 

Dottore hummed, seeming to contemplate their request but also not because the Voice knew damn well that he already knew the answer to that and was only procrastinating to piss the other two off. It worked. "There is surely one test subject who had shoes lying around, I'll send someone to fetch them," he finally settled after a long, frustrating moment.

A few minutes later— minutes full of two puppets glaring down an all-too-amused mad doctor (well, the younger puppet hid behind the older one, but still the same thing)— and then the two newly separated souls set out of lab, both with shoes to stave off the cold.

As the two walked through the snow, now that the Voice no longer had to have their guard up so much around Dottore, the situation finally dawned on them: holy shit, I'm no longer in Scaramouche's body. 

I... I'm no longer safe, am I? 

When they eventually entered Scaramouche’s residence, the harbinger had turned to face the Voice. “You know where the closet is, go change so you aren’t bare-ass naked,” he told them nonchalantly— well, as nonchalant as he can be with the unexpected turn of events as he set his hat on a hook. Yet, the individual before him did not take any action to leave, only shifting in place with a contemplative expression and their eyes downcast. “What, did getting a new body make you deaf?” The sixth harbinger bit out, a frown tugging his face. 

The Voice flickered their gaze towards him, though pressed their lips together as they quickly reached a conclusion to their inner dilemma. Might as well ask this now. Yeah, just get this over with. With a deep breath— and the cold sensation of their stomach turning and churning and screaming what the fuck are you doing, you fucking dumbass— the new puppet gathered up all of their courage and spoke softly:

”What are you planning to do with me now?”

Scaramouche’s brows furrowed as his frown deepened, shifting his weight on one leg and placing a hand on his hip with impatient curiosity. “What?”

”I mean—“ as they were still wearing his coat, the transmigrator made soft flapping noises as they gestured vaguely— “we both can see that I’m not… I’m not the cool, powerful, and totally intimidating overlord I claimed to be when I was inside your head—“

”I never believed you for a second.” 

“I’d be surprised if you did!” the Voice explained with their voice shaking with nervous laughter before mellowing out. “But I could only fool around cuz there wasn’t anything that could go against me. Well, not anymore— and you don’t have to deal with me now! I just, uh, wanted to know… where I was going.”

The transmigrator did not want to see what expression their oshi made, so they fiddled with their hands with their gaze targeted to the floor, finding the whole atmosphere between the two, quite frankly, stifling. Something within their chest sank— just a little— when the Voice heard footsteps growing fainter. Ah, that's it? I'm just gonna be thrown out just like that? I guess that makes sense, I annoyed the crap out of him, of course he'd want to get rid of me as soon as possible--

Something smacked them right dab on their face, causing them to yelp: "Kyack!" The Voice fumbled with what they were hit with, only to blink at the clothes in their grasp.

"First of all, you're going to sleep on the couch, I don't have a spare bed." They raised their head back towards Scaramouche, who came back with a small smirk etched on his facial features. You don't even sleep??? The Voice called bullshit. The Balladeer then motioned the same hand he had used to throw the clothes into dismissive wave. "I have work to deal with, don't bother me." And then he left, leaving the more bemused puppet all at their lonesome— well, perhaps not since, as it turns out, they weren't going to be immediately thrown out.

Wait... the voice suddenly thought, what work? We usually clear that out before any check-up.

(In his bedroom, Scaramouche felt conflicted himself. The fuck did I do that for? The puppet huffed, palming his forehead before combing his hair with the same hand, his brows furrowed in annoyance. He was glad that there wasn’t a certain voice stuck in his head to read his whirling thoughts as the harbinger definitely did not want them to know— at least there was one good side of the situation.

The puppet scowled at the thought that implied that there was a bad side to all of this— no, there wasn’t. He paced around his room, crossing his arms. I finally have privacy in my mind again and I don’t have to deal with their obnoxious blabbering. On their end, they can do whatever they want now, so I don’t…. This was a definite good change, so why don’t I feel happy about it?

“But I could only fool around cuz there wasn’t anything that could go against me. Well, not anymore— and you don’t have to deal with me now! I just, uh, wanted to know… where I was going.”

Scaramouche thought back to the Voice’s appearance when they spoke those words: the Voice’s lips pressed together as they fiddled with her sleeves, their clunky and definitely oversized boots shifting against the floor, their brows creased slightly towards their downcast, dark eyes. The harbinger had been drawn towards their gaze upon first sight— the way their eyes almost felt abyssal in nature with how void-like and unnerving they were, how they seemed to suck all light and leave nothing behind. 

Despite the content of the Voice’s words, their tone didn’t sound happy in the slightest. Rather, there was an underlying fear in it. Scaramouche could tell that they at least didn’t sound outright disappointed to be no longer residing in his mind— he would’ve thought as them as insane (more than he already did) if they did— but they looked almost resigned to the idea of the Balladeer leaving them, let alone them having no place to stay.

(Just like how his mother left him as soon as she could—)

Disgusting. Scaramouche glared towards nothing, his face scrunched as his fists that had fallen to his sides clenching tightly. The harbinger contemplated more for a few moments, but soon after turned his heel, having made his decision. I loath to admit so, but their knowledge of the future and obscure trivia has been valuable at times. I still have use for them— if not for knowledge, then to be my toy to entertain with.)

The next day, the Voice found themselves wearing a Fatui uniform and sitting on a desk in Scaramouche’s office, staring blankly at paperwork with a pen in hand as the new secretary to the Balladeer.

Scaramouche: so now that you’re out of my head, can you tell me your name.

Voice: But I already told you—

Scaramouche: there’s no fucking way in hell I’m calling you Lady Gaga.

Voice:

Shinigami: …Shinigami.

Yeah so you know that small tangent in the first chapter where I mentioned an alternate route where Dottore tries to poke into Scaramouche’s mind and discovering the Voice, eventually leading to Dottore making a physical body for them? We’re rolling with that in this chapter! By zero demand! This is also gonna be slightly based off of an OC-insert idea I had (that was basically me but with a different name LMAO) about transmigrating into a random NPC that just so happens to be Scaramouche's secretary— aka the idea I had before 3.3 happened and slowly twisted into the Voice-in-head idea! Honestly, pretty nostalgic. 

This AU takes places around… I wanna say ~50 years after Shinigami popped into Scaramouche’s head? Probably way less than that cuz it’s probably not that hard for Dottore to replicate puppet technology but the OG is a very long slow burn strangers-to-friends-to-idk (well, it would’ve been if this was an actual fic) so I wanna give significant time for the Voice and Scaramouche to bond before they get separated (also to get Shinigami fluent in the Teyvat language in both speaking and reading). 

Also, rereading the beginning, I did not intend on making Dottore have creepy old man vibes 💀 He’s just a dickhead who has no qualms about making people uncomfortable. I actually don’t mind showing off some skin indoors and Shinigami knows that Dottore isn’t a sick pervert in terms of that he’s probably desensitized by skin with all that human experimentation on, so she’s more focused on making herself warm than actually being decent. Just wanted to clear that up.

Also also! Fair warning: the content of this chapter is pretty dark— not as bad as the HSR sequel but I imagine it’ll need a heads up. Specifically, there will be depression, death, canonical child abuse, and mentions of self-harm (do tell me if I missed anything!).

Anyway! I just wanna set this out now so that we can get into the new stuff: Shinigami still trips into the Abyss to the point that she reconciles with Aether and learns abyssal powers and somehow gets her red robe! (Cuz honestly it feels weird to not have that in my character design.) She also gets glasses, albeit with an hour or so under the scrutiny of Dottore as her eye doctor.

Shinigami: wait, maybe Dottore’s not my mom? Cuz if I came from Scara’s head, and Dottie got me out of it, then isn’t he more like a midwife helping a mother push out her child? So doesn’t that mean…

Scaramouche: what the fuck are you doing?

Shinigami, immediately: mommy?

[Shinigami proceeds to get beaten up by him for the next five minutes. Worth it.]

This may or may not turn into a running gag but I probably won’t do that because it may come off as kinky and I’M NOT TRYING TO KINKSHAME but I actually do not like/understand the kink (mostly cuz I still use mommy/daddy with my parents) so eh. Wasted potential.

Ahem! Working as a secretary isn't that hard than expected for Shinigami-- I mean, she's already been doing this work when she first had to pose as Scaramouche before they put aside their differences (or just Scara) and just cleared it off before any Doctor appointments, so the transition wasn't so jarring. The only thing that was really difficult to her was… well, working in the presence of Scaramouche, her… boss now? Ain’t no way—

It’s not like she isn’t used to his presence (that would be weird considering that she was literally in his head for the past few decades) but rather the opposite— she was so conscious of her presence accidentally pissing the harbinger off (and thus throwing her to the garbage) that she couldn't settle down properly.

However, eventually Shinigami will get comfortable (either naturally or with Scara getting fed up with the practical radio silence from her and demanding her to turn back to normal in his own tsundere-ish ways) to the work life, to the point that she starts thinking of the office as less than an office and more of a… place.

Holy fucking shit, Shinigami squints blearily at the paper before her… only to see nothing but nonsensical dark squiggles, there’s no fucking way I can do this. She straightens up her hunched figure, head craning towards the ceiling as she stretched her arms out— but oops! Turns out that was a stupid ass idea as a pang of pain spiked in the puppet’s head— which, unfortunately for Shinigami, was already foggy and spinning like cotton candy. My head is going all guru-guruuuuu…

She glances down (slowly this time) at her work and then at the clock. 10am. Not even near lunch. Nah, I’m not doing this, I’m tired. Shinigami languidly gets up from her chair— the furniture skidding quietly at the moment— before idly turning her head towards the main desk, where Scaramouche looked up from his own pile of paperwork to stare at her inquisitively. “Good night,” was all Shinigami mumbled before dropping to the floor, crawling under her wooden desk before promptly curling to a fetal position and dozing off.

Scaramouche could only stare in disbelief.

Okay, so Shinigami wouldn’t actually doze off (it’s actually hard for me to fall asleep usually— this is coming from me currently writing at 5:16am!) but she’ll rest for a few minutes before hopping back up and resuming her work. And if she does doze off, it’s usually 30 minutes to an hour before abruptly waking up, so all is fine! 

Scaramouche, after overcoming his disbelief, is both amused and annoyed by this: amused because this is sort of funny and annoyed because how fucking dare you blatantly try to ignore your paperwork DO YOU KNOW HOW BOTHERSOME THIS ALL IS??? (Why yes Scara that’s why I’m doing this in the first place jackass.) But after a few times, he’ll get used to it and start glaring at anyone who comes by as a threat to keep quiet.

*Later on*

Fatuus: why why wHY is lord sixth glaring at me?! I mean that’s pretty normal but why does he look like he wants Celestia to crash down on me and my pet hamster please I’m just here to drop off some report please please don’t kill me—

Scaramouche, internally: Shinigami is SLEEPING and if I hear even a single DECIBEL then this entire organization will go up in flames

”How the fuck are you doing that?”

”Whey?” Shinigami let out in confusion, blinking only once as they shifted to turn towards her boss. A fatuus had just left after reporting an incident that definitely not important enough to been given to the Harbinger himself (what the fuck are those administrative workers doing???) before the sixth harbinger had popped up the random question.

Scaramouche gestured towards the door. “How the hell did you hear them coming before even I could?” At the first few times, the puppet had only chalked it up as coincidence, but after the many instances of watching the girl’s head perk up moments before he even heard footsteps, he began to think differently. It doesn’t help that she usually had little-to-no spacial awareness— usually.

”Oh, uh,” Shinigami averted her gaze, laughing sheepishly with slightly hunched shoulders. “I… when you’re up later than you’re supposed to, you, um, tend to attune your hearing to anything that might see you.”

ASIAN PARENTS AM I RIGHT??? (Later on, she’ll eventually start recognizing footsteps and warning Scaramouche ahead of time.)

Oh, and speaking of the rest of the Fatui— or at least the goons— they, uh, don’t really like Shinigami??? It's not really personal but as the Fatui is fueled by camaraderie and loyalty to the Tsaritsa (and just plain patriotism), having someone just pop out out of nowhere and in a high position? Yeah, they're gonna feel some hostility— Shinigami's not even a harbinger so they don't have any actual backing (like the Tsaritsa or Pierro) to their position. It also does not help that when in front of others, Shinigami is quiet and inattentive to them, causing them to perceive her as cold, aloof, and uncaring when in reality she's so fucking anxious for her life (Scaramouche sees this and wonders how the fuck she was able to pose as Scaramouche without anyone finding out).

Now, I could go into a route of a very long and dark arc of bullying and discrimination towards Shinigami, wearing down her psyche with every eviserating insult till there is very little of her left... but I'm not gonna do that! That is just way too depressing and, unlike cannibalism, you can't even get any morbid fascination from it! (Also, cannibalism is just way too out there to be relatable and therefore, despite its more graphic content, probably more palpable. Ah, unless you've been cannibalized before, dear reader— then my utmost condolences.) Not to mention, realistically, all the “bullying” and “discrimination” would be passive aggressive (because even if they don’t like Shinigami, there is no way they’d risk angering Scaramouche aka the most aggressive Harbinger) and knowing me, I would be entirely oblivious to it! 

Scaramouche, watching a bunch of Fatui grunts smack-talking about Shinigami before turning to said secretary: are you seeing this shit

Shinigami, who’s on break reading: shhhhhhhh I’m getting to the part where the ML confesses!!! (It’s not the yandere eye candy sadge.)

Also, in public, Shinigami will address Scaramouche as “My lord” just like everybody else; however, in the office she’ll jokingly call him “milooooord!” A rather minuscule difference, if one doesn’t consider the casual slurring inappropriate in a boss and employee relationship, but it is a difference that makes the harbinger bristle but not refute.

Honestly, despite the massive change of circumstances, life as a Scaramouche’s secretary isn’t so bad! 

That is, until she remembers that the Fatui life isn’t just about paperwork.

One day, the Balladeer goes on a diplomatic mission about some random yet somewhat organization that wanted to partner with the Fatui just a few miles away from Snezhnaya and Shinigami is, obviously, part of the team that accompanies him. She probably should’ve paid more attention to the details but all she needed to do was be observant during the negotiations between Scaramouche at the organization representers, infiltrate the organization along the other team members to make sure nothing fishy is going on, and report back— so it wouldn’t be that hard, even with her timid, anxious self, right?

Right?

”Report.”

”Yes, my lord. When infiltrating them, it turns out that they were smuggling illegal goods from here to other nations. We were caught by a few grunts— they were quickly taken out but a higher up was notified, worsening the situation until negotiations were called off, I presume that is what happened on your end, to the point that our orders changed into apprehending or, if that was not possible... killing all organization members. Report over.”

Scaramouche rose a brow: ”…You still have something to say— spill it.”

Her eyes trailed from the desk she was staring at to the harbinger’s gaze for a moment. Her lips parted with a small breath, but closed shortly after. Then, her gaze lowered downwards, focused on the floor, and not the blood sticking on her clothes. ”…May I have a day off?”

“Why.”

”Today was… was the first time I killed someone.”

The Balladeer groaned in exasperation, rolling his eyes as he placed a cheek on his palm, leaning against the desk. “So? Death, murder happens everyday— it’s nothing worth caring about.”

“No, you don’t—“ Shinigami craned her head back towards him before stopping herself, her shoulders hunching even more than before as she deeply inhaled. “My… the world that I came from, you don’t— you don’t just see murder on the daily. Murder doesn’t just happen.” Her lips pursued and her brows furrowed, hands clenching into fists. Another breath. “Just one day. That’s all I ask. Just one and I’ll… I’ll be over it.” She bowed deeply. “Please.”

(When Scaramouche approved her day-off, the relieved, thankful, yet forced smile Shinigami gave him twisted his gut.

He briefly remembered how shaky Shinigami’s voice was during his genocide of the Raiden Gokuden— what was her expression then?

…He doesn’t want to know.)

Shinigami, despite what others may believe, does not face plant into her bed the instant she goes home— she does that after a bath and brushing her teeth. The puppet ends up sleeping until well into the afternoon next day, and the time she is awake is slow, practically nonexistent as her mind is nowhere near Teyvat. 

She— she knew that death was prevalent in this world, especially in an organization that has no hesitation in utilizing immoral means. Hell, she even saw it plenty when in the mind of Scaramouche.

But death as a spectator is not the same as death in person. Much less as the culprit of murder.

She knew that when attacking in self-defense, people usually don’t think well, if at all. What Shinigami did not understand until then was the immense gripping fear squeezing her innards and choking her throat as the world blurred until only the individual charging towards her remained, sharp, bloody blade in hand. Shinigami barely registered grabbing a dagger on the ground— originating from a fallen person, she didn’t know if it was a friend or foe— hearing only the crisp wisp of wind as she dodged their slice and closed in too fast and her knife pointed outwards—

There was a horror video game rule that she constantly told herself to enforce for unlikely situations like these, for that she did not want to be like those idiotic players who were too careless in their play-throughs: make sure the body is dead.

She had stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

And stabbed.

When she came to, what she saw was not some game npc, was not a faceless mob character— what she saw was a corpse.

She didn’t even give them a chance.

No matter how accurate a game or movie or novel describes a murder, they usually fail to mention one small yet major detail— the smell. The distinct smell of iron and ozone and spilled guts that cling to your nose and squirms inside your throat and intestines like a filthy, intrusive parasite. It contaminates you— it taints your very being.

Shinigami had wanted to throw up. Shinigami had wanted to jump into a hole and rot there. Shinigami had wanted to get out of that situation right then and there, no matter the consequences.

She didn't. She was still on the job, after all.

Yet, now that she was no longer in the situation, Shinigami knew that there was no way for her to overcome this inner turmoil in just a day. Ah, but if she couldn’t even deal with all her other issues, then why bother wasting more time on this one?

So she places it in a little box, locks and throws away the key, tucks the box away in a dark corner of an endless void, and resumes work the next day, just like she said she would.

GOD YOU WOULD NOT FUCKING BELIEVE HOW DIFFICULT IT WAS FOR ME TO WRITE ALL THAT. I wanted to write a build-up to Shinigami’s first murder, but could not for the life of me think of a proper mini plot to the point that I stopped working on this for like a month. I still couldn’t think of shit, so I decided “fuck it, let’s just write the aftermath!” since it’s the inner turmoil caused by the events that were important. I’m still not really happy with what I wrote, but eh, at least I got it out.

(That being said, when I thought about how Shinigami would stab a person multiple times so that the person wouldn’t catch Shinigami off guard later on by pretending to be dead (a rookie mistake in video games), the fucking Detroit Become Human meme “TWENTY EIGHT STAB WOUNDS— YOU DIDN’T EVEN GIVE HIM A CHANCE” popped in my mind and I was so tempted to add it in, saved by the need to keep the mood serious sadge.)

Ahem! So, Shinigami doesn’t really get better, but she realizes that she really does not like excessive violence. Or killing. So she tries to learn methods to avoid that!

Like learning a new language. Terribly.

Okay, okay— I get that Shinigami should be worried about humans and all that, but she does have the power of ✨ P O L I T I C S ✨ as a shield from immediate danger. What is immediate danger is something that is so common yet intelligent and complex that Shinigami must fix this weakness immediately!

Hilichurls.

It may sound stupid to a Genshin Player, but there’s a reason why there’s so many commissions and bounties to get rid of them.

That being said, I SUCK AT LEARNING LANGUAGES UH. Despite spending years learning Vietnamese, I barely know shit (but then again I half-assed all those years shhhhhhh don’t tell my mother I always cried whenever she forced me to study). Ah, but Shinigami has the incentive of oh god there’s blood on my hands I just killed someone so perhaps the learning process will be easier? (I also memorized the choices of the Ella Musk commission and Shinigami learned the common Teyvat language after maybe a decade so there’s that.)

Shinigami: I… Ika beru nya?

Hilichurl:

Hilichurl: Did you just fucking tell me to shut the fuck up yOU FUCKING BITCH—

Eventually, with lots of love and food bribes, Shinigami does learn Hilichurlian and even gets welcomed into the tribes within Snezhnaya— showing her achievements through her polite requests for Scaramouche and his entourage to pass through whatever settlement blocking the path. The Balladeer doesn’t really know what to make of this: it is more convenient, but it also means less excuses to let off some steam… (oh well, that’s what his employees are for, he muses— pointedly ignoring the fact that no, that is not what his employees are for). 

One day, however, a horde of Hilichurls invade the Fatui base that the two reside in— only to not be harming anybody but… searching? When Shinigami enters the scene (Scaramouche pushed the responsibility onto her, asshole), the Hilichurls jump her— pulling her out of work and into their little settlement. They set her down next to a Hilichurl that is already laying down, who sleepily paw for her attention. She pampers them because honestly? Hilichurls are cute. 

This one in particular, she recognizes: one time, as Shinigami did leftover paperwork under their company, this Hilichurl was curious about the pen she used. Shinigami— on a whim— gave it to the little fella, and ever since then the Hilichurl waved and twirled the tool around like it was a magic wand. A cute baby, Shinigami would always think at the sight of them.

Shinigami’s efforts of pampering was rewarded as other Hilichurls gave her little treats found in the wild and snuggle next to her. The puppet isn’t exactly sure what’s going on, but she isn’t really complaining as she sings sweet songs to the creatures: the paperwork back at the base was killing her!

At one point, Shinigami groggily woke up from her impromptu nap. Her awakening was due to the cold, which would have been obvious because of the region she was in, but also not since she had fallen asleep mumbling melodies in the middle of their cuddling— so she quickly noticed the absence of weight from the Hilichurl on her.

She glanced to her side.

What she saw was not the Hilichurl napping sweetly on her, but a familiar pen on the ground, surrounded by black ash.

”Huh…?” Trepidation slowly crept up the puppet’s senses, her chest clenching at the sight of smoke. She slowly turned her gaze towards the other creatures sat near her, her head clearing with startling alertness. There was a lump in her throat as she spoke softly, as if any louder and the worst of her thoughts would come true: “Where… where did they…?”

The rest of the group did not respond verbally, but the slump of their shoulders, the downward tilt of their heads felt resigned— knowing.

A memory, from when this world was nothing but a video game, flashed through Shinigami’s mind— spoken by a certain Bough Keeper in the deep caves of the Chasm.

“When the hilichurls realize that the end is nigh for them, it seems their instinct is to seek out a calm and dark corner of the world in which to finally say goodbye to the centuries of suffering they have endured.“

Why? Shinigami couldn’t help but think with confusion, a dark pit settling uncomfortably in her stomach. Her face scrunched as the puppet thought back to the events before this, the seemingly random beseech of her person giving sudden clarity that made her feel like she was just hallucinating all over again. Instead of hiding away— alone— in a dark place, why come to me? What the hell did I do for this to happen?

Yet, in a way, she had an inkling as to why— one she did not want to accept. This act was reminiscent to a cat when they were at the end of their life. They, too, would usually hide away in a dark and cramped space, only to waste away by their lonesome; however, if they truly cherished someone with all of their soul, deemed them an irreplaceable companion, then they would spend their last moments under the care of their loved one instead.

But that didn’t make sense. Shinigami tenderly picked up the pen, glancing at it up close before holding it tight to her chest. She shut her eyes tightly, as if she was gripping blades and not the dull, round tool. Everything suddenly felt overwhelming, like everything was pressing down on her— she didn’t understand. She didn’t understand.

I didn’t try to love them, I didn’t even think it mattered. I can’t do anything right, or do anything worthwhile— so how can I make such an impact for someone to want to spend their last moments with me?

Can I… actually make choices that matter in this world?

The temperature within her hands suddenly plummeted— even when she was already in the cold— so much that it almost burned. With a shiver, Shinigami tentatively held out her hands and, along with the well-loved pen, was an icy blue gleam of a vision.

…So. I will remind you again— this takes large inspiration of an OC-insert (but in reality it was a disguised self-insert lmao) that got transmigrated into a random NPC who just so happens to be Scara’s secretary. What I didn’t tell you (and honestly you should’ve expected this by now) is that it was a total WHUMP-FEST. SO MUCH ANGST IN THE IDENTITY CRISIS DEPARTMENT PLUS MORE. 

For instance, when they are traveling through a mountain range in Liyue for a Fatui mission, the OC would go all “oh wow, this would be a really inconvenient time to get pushed” and then inconveniently gets pushed by Scara who got paranoid by the OC’s sudden loyalty (not really by the personality change because bro barely knew the NPC before the transmigrator popped in and even then, they were usually reserved during work hours. It was only when they seemed more caring towards him and also him accidentally seeing entire tonal shifts from a distance does he see changes) and tries to stop getting attached by pushing them off a cliff lmao. However, OC gets a quick existential crisis during the fall (what the fuck am I doing? Do I really not belong? Was the NPC really that unwanted?) and then accidentally gets a cryo vision that blankets their fall. After that, they spend a good hour just. Just laying there until getting up (with many broken bones) before walking to Wangshuu Inn (where the Fatui were supposed to stop for the night), much to Scara’s bafflement. Ya. Real depressing shit (not that this entire fic is any better lolol).

ANYWAY, while I had the Hilichurl angst idea for a long time, I thought of another idea that could go with it, though it’s not usable as of 5.0: remember how people theorized that Arlecchino was a Hilichurl due to the similar arm characteristics between her and Caterpillar? Yeah, so I would’ve raw dogged this theory and made it so that Arlecchino met Shinigami as a Hilichurl (in which the latter, unbeknownst to the former’s identity, pampered her like any other Hilichurl)— causing the future Knave to dote (as much as a stoic, ruthless person such as her can) on the puppet later on, much to the latter’s befuddlement. I obviously can’t do this anymore since Arlecchino is Khaenriahn but not a Hilichurl, but I figured it would be interesting to bring up.

After this scene, Shinigami still pampers the Hilichurls, though this time fully knowing what she's getting into (it feels wrong not to). She'll also, when it's time, be there for a hilichurl's last moments: as the years go by, Shinigami becomes very beloved by the Hilichurls in Sneznhaya and a living legend to other Hilichurl tribes in other regions.

Oh! And in case it wasn’t obvious, Shinigami got a Cryo vision. You know. The original intention for a Shinigami vision. It’s still the same star-shape casting as any Outlander gets, but the reason why this vision (and the OG idea) is cryo is because there’s… just a lot of conflict within myself, both in my worth and my stance in belonging. If there’s anything I could have an ambition on, it would be dealing with those conflicts (well, I say that but irl they haven’t gotten anywhere so uhhhhhhhhhhh). Cryo users seem to have the will to burn through their inner conflicts (Kaeya with his alliances between Khaenriah and Mondstadt, Ayaka with her role within the Yashiro Commission and her desire to have a normal life, Eula with her desires to be righteous even with her unsavory background constantly working against her— the list can go on and on), so I thought that it fit me pretty well! Really now, the electro vision in the main brain dump feels like the exception….

That being said, she. Doesn’t know what to do with it. Gaining a vision was sorta the opposite of what she was trying to do.

“Okay, what.” Scaramouche dryly demanded, dismissively pushing his work away with his eye twitching irritably. He scowled at the flinch his secretary made, crossing both his arms and legs as he leaned back against his chair in annoyed inquiry. “You’ve been darting your gaze towards me like some whizzing bug— what.”

”Golden Shower has been playing in my head for days now and, honestly? The vocals are better than the original that the song is parodying.” Shinigami blurted out. Her expression pinched at the glare Balladeer sent her way despite the Harbinger not even knowing what she was even talking about, causing her shoulders to sag and avert her gaze. “Okay, okay— it’s not outright troubling but it’s more so a matter of whether it’s better to tell you or not.” The puppet then blinked, darting her eyes back to Scaramouche: “Yes or—“

“Yes.” The Harbinger, not for the first time, wondered why exactly he kept Shinigami near him— his index finger tapping his arm impatiently.

(Ah, yes, it was that empty, resigned gaze that compelled him to keep her close, how much he resented the very thought of being anything like—)

The younger Fatuus hesitated for a moment, before standing up and walking towards the front of Scaramouche’s desk, scavenging through one of her pockets. Standing before him, Shinigami inhaled deeply before pursuing her lips and revealing what was in her grasp: a Cryo vision.

Scaramouche stared. Hard.

Shinigami’s anxiousness rattled her to the bone to the point that she couldn’t even think properly: “I, um, I got this yesterday and I don’t really understand why— I mean, I kinda theorized that people get visions with a certain ambition but I’m not really an ambitious person and I was just laying there! I was just napping with the Hilichurls and I still don’t really get why they wanted to be with me even though I barely do anything worth caring about and I’m actually really scared because I’m not sure of the implications of getting a vision. Like, there’s a theory that Celestia is a prison and I really don’t want to go to jail, or visions might be a way to keep me in check for later uses or something and because I don’t know what they want, I feel so tempted to just chuck this into the Abyss somewhere—“

Her tirade was abruptly cut off with a squeal when Scaramouche lightly slapped her head. “Shut up, my ears are going to rot!” he exclaimed, though his voice was more exasperated than the usual tone he uses on his other subordinates. “You got a vision, so what? That won’t make you suddenly able to get through a conversation with even a weak nobody.” The Balladeer suddenly clicked his tongue, turning his head away with a furrow of his brows, mumbling: “Why the hell are you so scared of that but you yap so much to me, anyway?” 

Shinigami wanted to reply to his question, but figured that she wasn’t supposed to hear it in the first place. Hm, it’s not like you actually want me to stop— not even out of consideration since you have no qualms in putting everybody else lower than you in their place— so whatever.

…She gets the feeling that she should be realizing something with that thought.

The younger puppet shakes her head, pushing away that feeling for, uhhhhhhhhhhh, some undetermined time. “Wait, so you aren’t mad that I got one? Envious?” Ooo— Shinigami cringed at her own words— maybe not the best question to ask.

”The day I get envious of you is the day the Heavenly Principles awaken.”

Shinigami gaped in surprise at her boss and Kami-Oshi, leaning forward slightly to retort— only to falter and puff her cheeks and crease her brows instead, letting out a small indignant noise before walking back to her desk.

(Scaramouche would be a liar if he said that he wasn’t even the slightest bit bitter to his secretary’s newest possession. Well, he was already a liar but the point still stands. What does she have that I don’t to be blessed with a God’s power? What did she do to not be turned away from the Divine?

However…

Shinigami is weak. Lacking in spatial awareness too. And she overthinks so much to the point that it circles around and turns into recklessness.

It would be beneficial for her to have a weapon that she is not terrified of using on hand.

Yes, with that in mind, Scaramouche can’t find it within himself to complain.

That still doesn’t mean he’s not bitter.)

Even with that conversation, Shinigami’s still hesitant to use it— after all, in a region of eternal winter, it doesn’t seem like she’d be using it in everyday-life, so she might as well use it in combat. Sure, she could also just… not use it, but then what would be the point of getting it in the first place? Not to mention, even if she were to avoid fighting, death is unavoidable— so might as well make it so that death is not hers.

“Starlight, do you know how to use elemental energy?” Shinigami asked the Abyss Prince on one of their rare night meetings, lounging on a bench and watching the snow fall before her. And on her.

Aether— who sat next to her— looked away from the snow to focus on her, “I know the theory, but I can’t utilize them— why?”

The puppet blinked. You know, I kinda suspected it since the lit up parts of your outfit are only white, but it’s weird to actually know that. Just like with Scaramouche, she unearthed her Cryo vision and held it out for the blond to see. 

The prince glanced at it with surprise flashing his gold eyes, only to narrow them in slight disdain. “…You shouldn’t trust the works of Celestia.”

”I don’t want to!” Shinigami whined childishly, tightening her hold on the object and weakly kicking her legs— consequently shoving snow away from the two. “I just figured that I really should learn how to defend myself if I’m going to continue working for a morally dubious organization— and no, hand-to-hand combat isn’t enough if your opponent has a weapon. Well, at least for me.” 

The outlander relaxed with relief at her admission before giving her an inquisitive expression, “then why don’t you learn sword lessons? I could teach you that.” Aether couldn’t actually picture her with a sword— not with how she had more fun flapping the big sleeves of her fuzzy red robe— but that didn’t mean that he expected the girl to tense at his question. 

“I— um,” Shinigami stammered, fidgeting in place before turning away. “I don’t. I don’t want to.”

”…May I ask why?”

The puppet glanced over her shoulder to stare at him, considering the consequences as she fiddled with the hem of her robe. However, she quickly sighed in resignation. I’d just be worrying him if I don’t say anything now. Settling herself, Shinigami looked downwards to her lap, where her hand holding her vision laid. “I… Starlight, you know how I’m not originally from Teyvat, right?”

In the corner of her eyes, Shinigami could see Aether nod. “I do.”

She let out a small huff through her nose, watching as a cold cloud appeared briefly before her. “I… I wouldn’t say I had a terrible childhood, but I lived in a home where I couldn’t really… express any negativity. I can whine, I can complain all I want, yes, but actual anger? Sadness? Worry? That’s just asking to make the situation worse.” The way they’d yell at me to stop crying like that would actually work, ahahaha…. “I eventually forced myself to hold it all in, for the sake of being able to stay in the house and not be left in the middle of nowhere like they’d threatened to. Ah, well, as it turns out, that leads internalizing everything and some… not so nice urges.”

Shinigami’s shoulders hunched as memories full of agony and rage and despair and I want to slice my throat open and gushing with blood in front of them to see the sheer terror in their eyes and make it all their fault and I want to squeeze their throats so tight with my own hands that they’ll crush into little bits of blood and guts— they all flash through her mind. She grimaced. “In my world, and, uh, I guess in this one too, having intrusive thoughts isn’t totally uncommon but ultimately harmless, easily dismissible. But these ones… over the years, they got so frequent and more and more intense that I started fearing that those intrusive thoughts would turn into compulsions. So much to the point that whenever I even looked at a kitchen knife or a syringe, images of hurting myself or others would pop into my head!”

The Descender didn’t notice how her breathing got quicker, harder. “And— and despite all their faults, they don’t deserve that! They don’t deserve to get hurt just because my mental state is so shit! And I don’t like pain! I really don’t! So I tried to avoid being near them, but that made things worse to the point that I didn’t even feel comfortable being near them and that fucking sucks because I’m entirely dependent on them and I—“

“Shinigami!” Shinigami’s breath hitched when a warmth enveloped her body, a stark contrast to the snowy night air. Her eyes frantically darted to the perpetrator, only for her gaze to fall upon Aether’s slouched body embracing her— light enough to not hurt and so it would be easy to push away, but firm enough to be grounding. The boy let out a breath, the heat tickling her neck as he was so close. “I’m sorry for making you remember… and for all that you went through.”

The puppet stared at the Abyss prince, lips parted. Then, her shoulders sagged, forcing herself to deeply inhale, hold the breath, and then deeply exhale. “It’s…” she would like to say that it was okay; however, an unfortunate trait of hers was that she was too self-aware to know that it wasn’t okay but not knowledgeable or motivated enough to figure out how to make it better. “Thank you, Starlight,” Shinigami said instead, patting Aether’s arm in an assuring manner. “It wasn’t all bad, though.” Thanks to a certain Genshin Impact character.

Shinigami craned her head up to the sky, pitch black with snowflakes dotting the air. “To be honest, I kinda forgot about that crap when I popped into Scaramouche’s head. Maybe that’s why that mission affected me so much. I told you about that, right? When I took that knife, I basically did the very thing I was so terrified of doing.” She tilted her head to look back at Aether, who stared back at her with a scrunched expression— concern, sorrow. Now that’s weird, the Descender thought with a giggle, leaning her head on top of the blond’s, I’m surprised I could see that when I had trouble discerning people’s expressions in daily conversation back then. Maybe fictional worlds just have people more expressive? “So,” she gave a small smile, though she didn’t really know its purpose, “even if it’s cowardly and just plain stupid, I’d rather not hold a blade or anything with a sharp point— not if I can help it.”

(Aether didn’t know how she could smile, regardless of how fake it was. Throughout the years and through many interactions, the outlander could tell that this mysterious person looked down upon herself, that doubt and uncertainty was etched onto her very essence— but he never quite knew the extent of such, much less how they stemmed from the failure of others. 

The Abyss prince curled deeply to Shinigami’s side, relishing the sensation. Normally, he wouldn’t do such an action— someone like him shouldn’t indulge into his desires, not when so many are suffering and need his help— but guilt griped him. He had been using the girl as a place of solace, to take off the duties of the Abyss prince if only for a moment and bask into the presence of someone who truly wished to spent time with him as equals, no strings attached.

(She was not like that Bough Keeper, who urged him with only a solemn gaze and not a comforting smile. She was nothing like him.) 

Even now, he still craved it. He craved for her wonky smiles, her shrilly laughter, her soft comforts that made pursuing his path just a little bit easier. He craved so much that just the sight of her panic sent a shiver of terror down his spine— it felt like she was going to disappear at that very moment. 

Ah, but that was it, wasn’t it?

”I understand,” Aether spoke into the cold night, lifting his head just a bit to meet the puppet’s gaze. “I’ll help you. I’ll give what you want.”

Shinigami’s eyes widened for a moment before crinkling into soft crescent moons, smiling at him. “Thanks.”

You don’t understand how great you are, how much you didn’t deserve the pain you went through, Aether thinks to himself, just like you’ve done to me, I want to help you express your troubles and indulge more of your selfishness.)

Aaaaaaaahhhh… tbh, I was scared of writing that part. I’ve always wanted to express that part of myself but just didn’t know how to or was terrified of how I’d be perceived. After all, people think intrusive thoughts are just funny “quirky” ideas that pop into your brain until someone talks in depth about the most brutal ways to torture someone. However, I realized that I’m… probably not the only person who goes through terrifying ordeals, for better or for worse. And that these people probably have no one to talk to about this. And as much as this is a shamelessly indulgent self-insert comfort fanfic, I also want to give comfort to others. I mean, for someone to enjoy this brain dump (and apparently some people do— shocker), that must mean that they relate to me in some level, right?

So I just want you to know that, and this is going to sound corny as fuck, you’re not alone. There is someone out there wishing for you to be happy. (Me! :D)

Also, I’m not saying that every problem I have is because of others! I definitely have faults that were caused by myself. It’s just that I will admit that it’s… hard to get better if you don’t have a good support system. If you genuinely can’t get a good support system.

Wait but Authorrrrrrrrrrrrr what about scissors, huh? They have blades too, right?? You telling me you can’t even use scissors— I can’t! But not because of my fears but because I’m left handed!

…Author, what— my first experience with scissors was in kindergarten where we had a cutting assignment and if we finished early, we’d get a cookie and I was really excited because I really like cookies! But then for some reason, the scissors wouldn’t cut no matter the angle??? I was so confused but everybody was doing it so I tried and tried until I gave up and finally asked one of the teacher assistants to help me. However, she used the scissors perfectly and— the look she gave me!!! AHHHHHH IT WAS SO JUDGMENTAL AND I WANTED TO CRY SO BADLY— IF THERE WASN’T ANY COOKIES LEFT I THINK I WOULD’VE ACTUALLY CRIED. After that, for the longest time I genuinely thought I was some sort of defect that could only use scissors 50/50 of the time until, well, last year actually where it turns out that left handed people have a harder time with scissors! I FELT LIKE SHIT FOR NOTHINGGGGGGGGGGG

”…My dear Creator, are you alright?”

Yes, Dae! I’ve held that memory in angry, furious, humiliated fists, but I am okay! I recently got scissors specifically for left handed people, but I’m still not scared of them because, as it turns out, I have shitty cutting skills in general. Getting special scissors only made it so I can actually cut. Haah… it’s good enough.

Off of that little tangent, I’ll tell you right now that I had a very hard time writing Aether in this scene! Mostly because, uh, it’s kinda hard to compliment yourself if you’re someone who barely sees any value in yourself, haha. (Wait, is that why I like yanderes? Because they’ll fervently love you even with your fucked up bits because they’re also fucked up? Huh—)

I also know that this Aether is very emotional compared to what is depicted in canon. I could just say it’s because I like writing him with yandere tendencies (and that does play a part) but there are some logical reasonings for this: 1) he was forced into his position and thus would latch onto whatever that makes him feel like himself and relieve his burdens and 2) most scenes he was in front of his ex-partner and/or sibling— of fucking course he isn’t gonna act like he cares that’s fucking cringe (this is a joke). Also, it's interesting how The Road Not Taken MV shows how the Traveler was really damn lucky to have Paimon as a companion: no matter how annoying Paimon can be, she at least tries to show care for the Traveler and make the journey as enjoyable as it can be. Dainsleif, however, did none of that— the MV made it look like him and the Abyss!sibling only traveled together out of duty. We KNOW that Dain does care for them (hell, even the Abyss!sibling knows because they state that it was only for his lingering feelings that they were able to get the field tiller core), but perhaps it was that standoffish relationship between the two that frayed the tie when everything went to shit.

That being said, the last paragraph of that scene is very different from the first draft. It was originally “Yes, Aether thinks to himself, depend on me as much as I depend on you— if I ease your worries, cease your negativity, then my solace won’t disappear.” Much more yandere-ish and I just… didn’t like it. I know I just said I like writing Aether with yandere tendencies but this didn’t feel like him. I said before that Aether becomes more of his personality before he became the Abyss Prince (so like the Traveler and generally a compassionate person), so I wanted him to be more caring for Shinigami, rather than just thinking of himself.

Aether: Shinigami, I’ve gotten you a teacher to help you with wielding elemental energy—

Shinigami: Enjou!!! :DDDDD

Enjou, has no fucking idea who she is but is happy that someone likes him: Hello!!! :DDDD

Aether:

Aether: Maybe this was a mistake.

(As much as Aether wanted to shank the fucking guy, he knew that Enjou was the only Abyss Lector that didn’t care much about outsiders and was casual enough to not intimidate Shinigami. Though, he mused as he glared darkly at his subordinate, that last part was too effective.)

To be honest, Shinigami knows that training herself with her vision isn’t a full-proof plan— especially considering how she wants the actual fact to be a secret to everybody other than a select few (that being Aether, Scaramouche, and herself. And Enjou. I guess). I mean, it’s easy to get people and information unguarded if they perceive you as some plain, defenseless little secretary, right? So, she’ll have her vision as a last resort and need to rely on something a little more… subtle. 

This is another reason that Shinigami is happy to see Enjou (other than being the absolute GOAT): as a Khanriahn scholar, he'll have knowledge on puppet machinery (or at least be able to get it with enough effort), so she'll try to get him to make modifications on her vessel to be more durable, not easily killed. She'll also try to secretly get rid of Dottore's control on her (aka the tie that he had with his segments that allowed him to terminate them).

Shinigami: oh yeah, don’t go ham and turn me into some godslayer or something. I wanna go out without people looking at me.

Enjou, holding blueprints upon blueprints of overdramatic mecha modifications of her: damn my scheme has been foiled.

Tbh the body modifications was actually supposed to be done by Dottore (I even wrote a scene of Shinigami asking Dottore this and had to scrap it sadge) but then I realized that there is no fucking universe where Shinigami would trust him lolol. I mean, I wouldn't trust him as I am now, why would I trust him if I had personally seem all the unethical, immoral experiments he joyfully creates?

Okay so I was planning on taking this slowly (pacing wise) but I! Have been working on this far longer than I should have! I’M TIRED OF WORKING ON THIS LET’S GOOOOOOOOOO. FUCK CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT FUCK GAINING OPINIONS OF THE OTHER HARBINGERS FUCK MORE MOMENTS WITH SCARA EVEN THO ITS A SCARA CENTRIC FIC LEMME GET TO THE GOOD PARTS.

”Free baby.” 

Shinigami cringed at the small, battered body on the dirt before her. She doesn’t know why it’s there, she doesn’t particularly know why she’s there either— Scaramouche had to do a mission collaboration with Crucabena in Fontaine… for some reason and obviously took her as part of his entourage. This led to Shinigami wandering around NOT in the city (damn you stupid Fatui reputation I wanted macarons wait but Shinigami can’t you just change out of your work attire I’M LAZY OKAY YOU THINK I’M GONNA GO TO THE HOTEL CHANGE AND THEN GO BACK OUT NAHHHHHHHH IM SLEEPING THE REST OF THE DAY OFF THE INSTANT I SEE A BED) but in a coastal part of the Liffey region. She crouched down, clapping her hands together to pray— only to freeze at the motion of breathing. “Oh shit.” They’re alive!

The puppet darted around, trying to figure out what exactly happened here. I don’t see any carnage, so it’s not like they got jumped or anything— no! If they’re alive, they should be treated first. “Free baby,” Shinigami repeated to herself before tentatively taking the limp body into her hold— that is to say that this wasn’t kidnapping but merely taking something from the ground. Like every other trinket she’s gotten! 

One long trip of dragging an almost corpse back to her hotel and an hour or two of just giving the individual (child???) first aid, Shinigami suddenly realized that… this person looks familiar.

Blonde hair, freckles, small body… not to mention, isn’t the current House of the Hearth building in Liffrey? Shinigami squinted her eyes with pursued lips as she leaned back to stare at her handiwork, the child now properly bandaged and resting. His breathing that was once labored seemed to have calmed down now. I… may have picked up a baby Freminet.

Eh. Whatever! Whatever transition the author has in mind is obliterated as she wrote that last paragraph months ago! Ahaha, the author hates writer’s block and burnout!

Freminet soon woke up in Shinigami’s hotel room (tbh idk if Scaramouche and Shinigami would share a room because the Fatui is rich but also they’re pretty comfortable with each other (the “there was only one bed” trope doesn’t matter lmao)) and promptly panics like any lost child would. Shinigami does not yell— not because she is not calm, but because she spent the last hour hyping herself up and creating a script to talking to the little guppy— and convinces him into at least eating a little with her Fatui identification and plenty of pestering.

The two conversed as they ate the many sweet snacks and tea given by food service— well, it’s more like the puppet spouting nonsense about whatever topic pops into her mind as quietly Freminet listens to make the latter comfortable. Eventually, when everything is consumed, Freminet spoke:

”Tha— thank you for treating me, I really mean it… but I have to go now.”

Shinigami examined the boy in front of her: covered in wounds, tiny figure shrouded in the all too big clothes lended to him, the exhaustion clinging to every inch of his skin. Her lips pressed together, churning disdain within the puppet. Her eyes flicked towards his gaze with some sort of comfort or excuse to prolong his stay on her tongue, yet the dullness of them halted her thoughts— steering them into a more honest approach.

”…Do you want to?”

What an odd thing to say— if in any other situation, that may have even been considered creepy for someone who claims to not have kidnapped someone to say.

But both of them are from the Fatui. Both of them know what kind of place the House of the Hearth was— what kind of person was in charge of that place.

Both knew just how much of a mother Crucabena really was.

Freminet does eventually leave, but only after Shinigami walked him midway. “Come see me anytime if you want snacks or a break, okay, Fremi?” she asked him, gently ruffling his head. “Only if you want to!”

The boy doesn’t think that would be possible: he doesn’t want to have hope, to believe that he could have something as nice as this— but the warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest doesn’t want him to refuse. In the end, Freminet simply nodded before walking away, looking back just once to timidly wave back at Shinigami’s wild one.

Scaramouche can solo Crucabena it’s not an argument 💀 I mean, we don’t actually know how strong Scara is pre-divine-hood besides killing most of the Raiden Gokuden (and he only stopped because he WANTED to) but judging by the Arlecchino animation, Crucabena ain’t shit lmaooooooo. Shinigami might’ve actually offhandedly mentioned asking Scara to beat the shit out of her, but then Freminet would probably be scared of what would happen to his biological mother after (he doesn’t know what happened to her yet). Sadge, no early dethronement.

Scaramouche: I do not like the Fourth’s treatment (I assume the rank is for whoever is in charge of the House othe Hearth) towards the children but it is ultimately not my business

Shinigami: 🥺

Scaramouche: I suddenly want to overthrow a mother that is not my own for once

Guys I was supposed to write a scene where when Arlecchino becomes the fourth harbinger, she forces Shinigami to met with her privately (the latter panics the entire time and dreading her death) only to ask if Shinigami wanted anything for helping Freminet out. Shinigami wants to refuse because it feels sickening to get some sort of reward for just being a decent person but it’s a fucking favor from ARLECCHINO of all people, so she just tells the Knave to just let her keep it for now. Tbh it doesn’t really feel like an interesting scene to write but the gist is that Arlecchino and Shinigami have an inside joke of joint-parenting Freminet lolol.

Shinigami: Ahhhhh my cute little baby guppy Fremi Frem Frem pengy boy kira kira doki doki mochi mochi puyo puyo waku waku washoy Freminet!!!!

Freminet: …Hi.

ALSO BRO I WAS READING FREMI'S CHARACTER STORIES TO FACT CHECK STUFF AND THE FUCKING SINNER'S FINALE MUSIC STARTED PLAYING OHHHHH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK THAT HURT YOU CAN'T DO THIS DON'T YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS IS PARENTS DOING THEIR BEST FOR THEIR CHILDREN???

There is no transition in Ba Sing Se.

One day, something that happens everyday, there’s some trouble brewing within the Fatui Headquarters Scaramouche and Shinigami’s office resides in— something about an intruder I guess, I don’t really know— and Scaramouche, not wanting to deal with paperwork, ditched Shinigami to deal with it. She doesn’t really care but her back’s hurting, you know maybe’s she should take a break: I mean she’s been working at this one paper for at least an hour like how many times is this one guy gonna clog all of the goddamn toilets—

A loud bang pulled Shinigami out of her thoughts with starling clarity, her eyes darting over to the door with a quick grab of her Cryo vision— only to blink at what she saw. A tall figure with vibrant, wild red hair ran in, scurrying to shut the door with all of his weight. Finally falling to a stop, the man leaned against the door with uneven breaths, his clothes ravaged with some wear and tear. Oh, it’s Diluc.

The puppet blinked again. Oh shit, it’s Diluc. 

Ah, uh, what the hell am I supposed to do??? I’m pretty sure he’s running from the Fatui and I don’t think I can help him because I’m the goddamn Fatui, like, am I supposed to cease to exist in this room or something? I mean he’s probably gonna shank me the instant he notices me— and he’s noticed me, fuck.

”Uh,” Shinigami intelligently greets to the frozen redhead, shaking in her metaphorical boots at the manic, adrenaline-fueled gaze the latter had. “Welcome to Bob's Pizzaria and Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce?” 

Silence.

Well damn, at least give me something to work with. The puppet pointed towards the cabinet with all the snacks and tea stored. “I’m gonna just get some tea and snacks.” She slowly walks over there— very aware of the gaze of cornered prey— and turns her back to him.

A harsh pain blooms on her neck.

”OW!!!” Shinigami shrieks, whipping her head around to the culprit. If she wasn’t in absolute pain, she would’ve laughed at the dumbfounded, wide-eyed expression Diluc wore, his guilty hand up in the air. “Don’t do that! You could’ve knocked someone out!” I’m gonna ignore that it was entirely warranted and really, that shit was on me. Puffing out her cheeks, the secretary pushed the shellshocked around with minimal resistance until he was sitting on the sofa. “Sit still and don’t go anywhere!” She lectures before resuming her task.

Thankfully, Diluc didn’t move around and try to, well, get rid of the girl, though he glared down at her when she set up the freshly brewed tea and snacks on the coffee table before settling in the opposite couch. “Who are you?” The Ragnvindr interrogated sternly.

”My name is Shinigami, I’m a secretary for this place.” Shinigami gestured vague to the place before picking up her mug and took a sip, relishing the sweet taste of a concerning amount of tablespoons of sugar. “Try the tea— it’s matcha.” She then blinked, wondering if the man even knew what that was. “Green tea. Stuff imported from Liyue.”

“Secretary of who?”

Shinigami just— she just stared. "Bob."

Diluc stared back.

Shinigami subtly gestured to the tea.

The guest’s glare darkened: “I am not drinking that.”

”It’s just tea.”

”It could be poisoned.”

The puppet sighed in irritation, leaning against her seat. “Dude, you literally saw me make it! And you think I just have poison lying around???”

”Perhaps— you are Fatui, after all.”

”Bruh.” 

They continued staring at each other in uncomfortable, tense silence. Shinigami kept on sipping on her tea, wondering why the hell she subjected herself to this situation before the door clicked open.

”That was absolutely useless! The intruder slipped away and now we have to deal with all the damages since I'm the only Harbinger here—“

Scaramouche stopped in his tirade, unknowingly joining the staring contest in disbelief. 

Silence.

And then—

“You were stalling for your damn harbinger!!!” Diluc blatantly accused— quite incorrectly, mind you— struggling to get up into a fighting position. 

Haha, you relaxed a bit while sitting so now you feel weak! Take that— wait, I’m supposed to help him. ”No, my lord, I did none of that!” Shinigami objected, earning a brow raise from her Oshi. She would've called him Bob— really sell the bit— but she feels like calling the Balladeer such a name would be pushing it.

“Shinigami, why the hell is the intruder here?” Scaramouche questioned, a hand on his hip.

”My lord, he’s a very respectable figure in Mondstadt—“

”How do you know my identity?!”

SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOU!!! “—And if he dies or even gets captured, then the entire region’s gonna get pissed.”

”And I don’t give a damn?” Scaramouche counters, fully judging the younger puppet.

”…He’s also very pretty.”

Scaramouche— Scaramouche just stared at her.

”…And he hates Dottore.”

Finally, the Balladeer’s expression clears: “Alright then, carry on.” He turned his heel, but glanced back with a glare at the tall redhead. “Do not mess around in my presence, or I’ll beat you purple and bloody.” 

Thankfully, Diluc took the hint and behaved.

Later, after everything is eaten and drank (Scaramouche forced the matcha down Diluc’s throat), Diluc is eventually booted out of the office (of course, not before given very elaborate maps of Dottore’s laboratories). Hopefully that doesn’t fuck over the timeline or something!

Life goes on peacefully after that— well, as much as life in the Fatui can be— until a special occasion has every harbinger attending.

The ordination of the eleventh harbinger. 

Y’all… why the fuck am I here? Shinigami thought to herself— bored out of her goddamn mind— as Pulcinella drones on and on about loyalty and the Tsaritsa and blah blah blah from the stage where a certain ginger kneeled in front of the jester. I’m not even a harbinger! What, just because I’m basically Scara’s emotional support doesn’t mean that I have to dragged into this annoying ass ceremony! In the corner of her gaze, the secretary noticed the Knave a few feet away— specifically, the teen Lyney accompanying her. Well, at least I’m not the only anomaly here.

The puppet glanced at the sixth harbinger, blinking at equally bored expression laced on his face. Scaramouche, most likely noticing her gaze, darted his electric indigo eyes back at her.

We ditching after this?

Definitely, this place sucks.

They both looked away after that silent conversation, plans made. Suddenly, the volume within the cathedral boomed with resounding claps. Shinigami flinched— oh shit, it ended— whipping her head back to the stage with her hands quickly slapping each other. Somehow, the stage was already empty of a battle-thirsty ginger, which is weird because he doesn’t seem like the person who’s immediately leave after such an event—

“We finally meet!”

Shinigami’s hands were suddenly snatched up by another’s, causing the girl to yelp in surprise. Yet, before she could even pull away, the imposing grasp pulled back toward’s the culprit’s chest. The action lead to the puppet gleaning her neck, where her gaze fell upon one of deep ocean blue. “You probably already know this, but I’m Tartaglia, the eleventh of the Fatui harbingers!” The newly ordained eleventh harbinger greeted with a grin, He tilted his head, the curly orange strands of hair framing his face swaying from the motion. “I’ve known you for a while, so I hope we get along!”

Wha— um— whua— huh??? The puppet was stock still, her mind reeling over the sudden turn of events. What the fuck is happening??? “Sure???” was her automatic response since she didn’t have a clue what to do.

A whizz of purple flew by Shinigami’s peripheral view before she could discern what it was— though Childe skillfully craned his neck before his head got chopped off. “Hey, it’s pretty rude to interrupt someone, you know?” the ginger scolded a bit too casually for someone who almost died. 

“And it’s rude to touch someone’s person, you know?” Shinigami meekly puffed her cheeks and pressed her lips together at that immensely infuriated tone, turning her head at a glowering Scaramouche. The Balladeer didn’t look back at her, only glaring down the man with utter disdain. He pulled back the hand he used for attacking— cracking it menacingly— as he pulled a wicked, toothy grin on his face, the gleam in his eyes asking for murder. “Get your filthy hands off.”

Dude, chill. Shinigami tried to communicate with her judging eyes, but alas, their combined brain cells were not rubbing together. And “person”? Really? Are you being tsundere and not admitting that you have someone to care about, or are you actually being possessive? Is this the yandere route?

“Oh, are you going to fight me? What an honor!” CHILDE TARTAGLIA AJAX, YOU ARE NOT HELPING. 

Ahhhhh, whatever. “It’s nice to meet you too, Lord Eleventh,” Shinigami greeted back politely yet blandly, slowly removing his hold on her hands. 

“You can just call me Tartaglia— or even Childe!”

“…Lord Tartaglia.” The Ginger’s smile turned upside down, causing the girl to sigh. “You two—“ she pointed to the two harbingers who were just already jump-starting the enemies-to-lovers trope— “can duke it out. I’m leaving.” Shinigami announced, doing a quick sideways peace sign before promptly turning her heel and ditching the two. She immediately heard loud banging noises of violence.

Arlecchino: Men ☕️

Shinigami: hey don’t say that Lyney’s right there

Arlecchino: Lyney’s an exception

Lyney: thank you???

Okay but Childe would just NOT LEAVE HER ALONE. He’ll come barging into the office every other day and keep pestering Shinigami for conversation. He does that with Scara as well, but unlike their arguments that quickly turn into death matches, Tartaglia and Shinigami bicker almost like siblings. She actually doesn’t mind it so much than expected— it is a nice break from the monotony that is paperwork and it reminds her of her younger brother— but she fears for Scaramouche’s artificial blood pressure.

Shinigami also doesn’t know what warranted this attention in the first place other than being, uh, long-living and relatively polite. It’s only until a random day of walking together (well, more like Shinigami walking and Tartaglia tagging along midway) that she gets an answer.

“The world looks glorious in the snow! Pure white, like the light of the moon— a perfect backdrop for bloodshed.”

Shinigami blinked at the seemingly casual remark. Voice line mention?!?! She yelled in her mind like a fangirl who gets excited when someone makes a reference to her hobbies— in which she was. Though, when you really think about, should you really consider them voice lines when it belong to the voice saying it and they aren’t a character anymore? Who knows— Shinigami certainly doesn’t care.

“Oh, you know, that’s actually how you caught my eye.” 

Shinigami blinked at the seemingly casual remark. What. “I remind you of blood?”

Childe snorted and turned his head to face her, “no! …Well, a little.” At the girl’s judging face, he raised his hands in defense. “It’s a bit more complicated than that, I mean!”

”Uh, yeah, sure— still don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” 

“I’m getting to it!” The ginger exclaimed, before looking away to rub the back of his neck. “You see, when I was fourteen, I fell into the abyss.”

Oh wow, Shinigami mused to herself, if I didn’t know of this information, I would’ve definitely been shocked. But she did, so she just bobbed her head with patience for him to continue. 

“A weird side effect I got when I fell was that almost every color turned dull— every color except for red, that is.” Childe revealed, earning an interested gaze from the puppet. His face pulled a wry smile, not reaching the fullness of his eyes. “And so adding that to already being lost in an unfamiliar place, filled to the brim with monstrous, bloodthirsty atrocities, I was practically scared witless.” His eyes darted back to Shinigami briefly before he waved his hand dismissively: “oh, but I shortly met my master after this, so it wasn’t so bad!”

You ain’t slick, you just wanted to not make a big deal of your traumatic past. Shinigami pushed away her thoughts and opted for another. “Okay… what does that have to do with me?”

“Ahaha, well—“ Why the fuck is he dawdling like some shy highschool girl? “This is pretty embarrassing but one time, when I was following my master, I saw a glimpse of you passing by. The way your vibrant red robe broke from the monotone hues, I…. You looked heavenly.“

…Ain’t no way. “You saw me???” Shinigami asked in disbelief. I mean, I didn’t really try to hide but I also rarely go to the Abyss nowadays! What were the chances?! And what kind of shit did you use to describe me— were we talking about the same person?! Ain’t no fucking way that’s me!!!

Tartaglia laughed, kicking the snow as he did so. “To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I was just hallucinating at the time,” he grinned like a fox. “That’s why I was so surprised to see you in my ordination ceremony!”

”You disappointed?”

”Nope!”

Shinigami rose a brow, “really? I’m not really how you first saw me, and I doubt I have anything special to show.”

”And it’s fine if you don’t,” the eleventh harbinger countered without a beat. And wow, what a line. That would’ve been really nice to hear centuries ago. “But that’s not really true. I mean, it’s not really something shown to me but shown to Scaramouche.”

The puppet blinked in surprise at the sudden mention. ”My lord?”

”Yeah, he’s so grumpy and murderous— well, that’s a good thing for me, haha! But, that guy’s… well, I wouldn’t say less bloodthirsty, but more calm around you. Not to mention, the bond you have with each other is clearly more than a work one.”

”He only seems like that because you piss him off every time,” Shinigami retorted in a flat tone, causing the ginger to bark a laugh. “As for the other thing, well, we knew each other before we became coworkers. Also, we’re basically the longest companions we have.” 

“Oh, that explains why you two can just banter so well.”

“Yeah it’s…” Shinigami glances down, a fuzzy feeling in her chest with a certain boy in mind. “It’s nice. Really nice.”

”Is that why you regard his compliments so highly?”

What. “Hweh?” 

Tartaglia chuckled, shaking his head as Shinigami’s eloquent question. “Yeah, you usually refute or dismiss any compliments or credit directed towards you, but, one time, when Scaramouche was screaming at me to shut up—“

”He always does that.”

”—I said ‘you don’t ever tell Shinigami to shut up—‘ not that I want you to! Just, Scaramouche then replied with ‘No shit, unlike you, Shinigami actually has a good voice!’ Oh Tsarista, the blush on you was so red!”

Shinigami shrieked, face flushing intensely as she slapped the fuck out of the ginger— not that it was effective in ceasing his clearly unwarranted laughter. “Shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up!!!”

”Okay, okay— I’ll stop!” Childe says in seemingly surrender, yet the huge grin on his face implies otherwise. “You gotta agree that it’s pretty weird though: I know you two are close but the difference in reaction is night and day.”

The puppet stared at him with a deadpan. “Not really,” she mumbled, rolling the balls of her feet humbly. “I mean, just think about: Scaramouche’s harsh, cruel, and arrogant— he’s not someone who would cater to others’ feelings.”

”Not really giving a good picture of him, huh?”

Shinigami giggled wryly: “I’m a simp, not an apologist.”

”What?”

“Nothing,” the girl shook her head before averting her gaze away from the harbinger. “But it’s because of this, because he’s so rude, that if he were to make a genuine compliment—“ Shinigami glanced, smiling shyly, a faint blush peeking out from the snowy air— “then wouldn’t that sound closer to the truth than anything else?”

Childe: You almost looked like an ethereal, all-powerful apparition who can grasp both life and death in the palm of your hands.

Shinigami: …bro you’re spoiling the HSR sequel—

Yeah, so I headcanon that Childe has a unique type of color blindness that makes almost every color dull except for red, in which those shades are vibrant instead. I think it’s pretty cool, though definitely unrealistic lmao.

Also! I think a huge appeal for asshole characters is simply that they're, well, assholes; however, it’s probably their earnest moments that make them favorites for many. Specifically, Scaramouche had so much potential when he first appeared to be so much more than an asshole and Hoyo delivered!!! (While still retaining his asshole personality omg best writing decision ever.)

Tbh, I’m really insecure about myself and my capabilities: I don’t really think I have any skills that can help with my future, and I don’t really believe anyone who says otherwise because I'd believe they pity me and their words are just sugarcoated pleasantries. However, Scaramouche probably wouldn’t give a shit about those social expectations, leading him to being more believable than anyone else lol.

But enough of that! We’re transitioning to a new scene!

This is fine. Shinigami thinks to herself, ignoring the blaring alarms and red lights indicating a breach in security, watching all the researchers scramble around in pandemonium. It’s been a while since Diluc last invaded a lab, we should catch up or something. Though, apprehension clings onto the Fatuus— the chance that Diluc forgot about her and might shank her for being a random Fatuus is low but not zero. She huffed, turning her heel: I don’t care that I have a maintenance check, Dottore can suck it cuz I am not dealing with this shit—

A small crash took her out of her thoughts, one so quiet compared to the utter chaos that she wouldn’t have heard it if she wasn’t so close. Walking closer to the source that seemed to be behind a really convenient desk, Shinigami inhaled deeply and mentally prepared herself for an attack—

Only to falter at the sight of a tiny, battered child sprawled on the floor. 

She blinked. A child— Shinigami noticed the dirty green hair and wide purple-magenta eyes— Collei?! Her frame froze on the unexpected appearance of a playable character, especially a version of them so young. 

Her lack of reaction didn’t seem to calm the child in question down, Collei scrambling up frantically with fear etched in every inch of her skin. “No, no, don’t take me back I don’t— please, I beg of you, don’t put me back in there!!!” She pleaded desperately, tears in her eyes. 

“Woah, woah, chill!” Shinigami raised her hands in surrender, though that only made the child flinch. “I’m not gonna do that! It’s okay!” There’s no fucking way she’s gonna believe that! the puppet yelled in her mind, frantically thinking of what she should do. Suddenly, as Shinigami had been on guard since this whole interaction, she heard footsteps coming there way. “Excuse me.” 

Before Collei could reply, she immediately pulled her into her embrace, veiling the child with the cover of her robe. “Le— let me go!!!” Collei thrashed in the puppet’s hold. 

“Pardon us, lieutenant!” 

Shinigami glanced over to where a few henchmen marched in with a carefully bored expression. “Hm?”

”It seems that some of the test subjects have escaped, have you seen them around?”

The Fatuus secretary scowled: “what am I? Some sort of gofer for you? Why do I have to pay attention to something as minuscule as that when it’s your job to fix it?” Shinigami knows that she shouldn’t be so harsh, that these people are just doing their jobs, that it’s really Dottore that she should be pissed off about— but now that Collei stopped struggling, the puppet could tell just how malnourished the child was, so thin to the point that her bones were jabbing her. How revolting. “Get out of my sight, you disgusting vermin,” Shinigami hissed, her face scrunching into a fierce glare.

”Bu— but—!”

”Now.”

Fortunately, the other minion accompanying the stuttering Fatuus took the hint and slapped the back of the latter’s head. “Yes, lieutenant, we shall go! We apologize for the inconvenience!!!”

As soon as the henchmen ran out of the room and no one seemed to get close, Shinigami sighed deeply and released the girl she held. “Sorry for that,” she said breathlessly, thanking the years of acting as Scaramouche forming a habit of thinking fast, albeit aggressively. Hey, it’s better than freezing like a deer in headlights! The puppet glanced at Collei. “Sorry for suddenly touching you, I just panicked.”

Collei just— just stared at her in shock, though, surprisingly there was less fear in her eyes than before. Shinigami just smiled— before realizing that there isn’t any time to waste. “You want to get out of here, don’t you?” At the serious inquiry, the child shook herself out of her daze and nodded her yet in a manner that implied that it was an automatic response. “Alright then—“ the Fatuus spun around towards the exit of the room. “Follow me and stay close.”

Shinigami didn’t actually expect Collei to follow her— I mean, why would she trust someone from the Fatui?— but she soon heard the small patters of footsteps. The two quickly traversed the laboratory— taking only one brief detour to steal clothes for Collei— avoiding the many guards and researchers before they finally reached the exit. 

“Okay, wait a moment.” Shinigami requested in a hushed manner, reaching into her coat pocket and pulling out one of her Lieutenant’s Insignias before rubbing the metal on her wrist. She gave it to the girl. “Here— give it to the Hilichurls, they’ll help you traverse and give protection within at least this region.” 

Shinigami then crouched down in front of the girl, her eyes staring resolutely to Collei’s wide ones. “And no matter what—“ She placed a hand over her heart, the ends of her lips quirking up: “Don’t ever feel ashamed of the hurt you felt, the anger you feel towards the Fatui. You can move on from them, you can seek a better life, but don’t beat yourself over wanting to be treated right.” 

Collei stared at her, astonished. Shinigami merely chuckled, standing up straight and taking a step back. “I hope we never meet again, but if we do, it’ll be in better circumstances.” The puppet waved. “Bye bye!”

”…Bye.”

Shinigami stood by as the child quickly left, relishing the deed that she had just done. I hope that her journey will be smoother than what happened in the game, that she wouldn’t get hurt anymore…. 

“What a touching scene.” Unlike this bitch.

Glancing over her shoulder, Shinigami faces the new person entering the scene. Short blue hair, a long white lab coat, and a sharp smirk— all characteristics of a peculiar man, but the overall boyish appearance and similar height to Shinigami tells just who exactly was in front of her. 

The puppet narrowed her gaze: “Eta.”

Dottore: Eta Build— the youngest in terms of mindset of all the segments Prime made. That is to say he isn’t any less devious. True to that, Eta cackled. “What? You sound as if you didn’t just help a test subject escape.”

Shinigami pursued her lips, keeping her arms stiffly at her sides. “And you sound like keeping a child— younger than you, probably— for your damn experiments is the right thing to do.”

”But isn’t it? I mean, she’s just the means to the ends of achieving much more than what we already have!”

“You disgust me.”

The segment whipped his arms out, shaking his head as if he was talking to a child. “Why so aggressive? It’s not like you’re any better.” He tilted his head mockingly, the mask he wore doing absolutely nothing to hide the sadistic glee he felt. “I mean, you’ve known for centuries what goes on around here! Seriously, what made that kid so different?”

She’s a playable character, was Shinigami’s first thought, the girl cringing in disdain the instant she realized what a fucking shitty thing to think, even unconsciously. It doesn’t matter whether this world is fake or not, nobody deserves to be subjected under the cruelty of these people. “I… she was just there in front of me.” A weak response in the grand scheme of all things, yet it was true: Shinigami didn’t know if she would’ve bothered to help Collei in any other situation, especially since she already knew that the child would escape and survive for a new, better life.

”Ridiculous!” Eta laughed, throwing his head back as he did so. “And for what? You’ve been caught, so you’re basically asking for punishment!” He then stepped forward, a mock-innocent expression sporting his face. “Oh wait, did you want to replace that kid? Your maintenance check can surely be replaced for that! Ooooo, maybe we’ll catch that girl and you two can partake in them together! Isn’t that so sweet?”

Shinigami fell silent, head tilting towards the ground.

Then, she started walking.

“You know,” the puppet spoke casually, “when I took my first life, I told myself I wouldn’t use a blade unless I was one-hundred percent willing to kill.” As she walked, Shinigami slowly pulled out the Hunter’s Sacrificial Knife that she had stolen along with the clothes she gave to Collei, causing Dottore to still. “I’m willing now.”

”…You got to be kidding me.” The segment let out a small chortle, though it sounded strained. “You? Kill me? No way! And Prime wouldn’t let that happen!”

”Omega isn’t here. Also, why should he care? He’s the most selfish of the segments, and you know damn well how selfish you can be.” Shinigami took a step forward, aiming her knife right at the boy.

”You didn’t see me, and this never happened, alright?” 

(She’s bluffing, Dottore noted as he watched the blade shake in the puppet’s hands. She’s not even close enough to potentially slice me— she can’t make a threat properly. Not to mention, I can just pull out a drone and kill her right here and now.

He really should call it out, to make an utter fool out of this puppet— after all, she was the prototype before creating the segments, there’s no way that she could overpower him! Yet, his thoughts faltered when he saw her eyes.

Her eyes were like a void, swirling with a haunting darkness and sending shivers down the boy’s spine. 

It was as if he made a single mistake, he would be completely devoured by this very abyss.

”…Fine.”) 

I’ll be honest, I really wanted to write more Dottore scenes, or at least explore some of the segments, but we really don’t really know them lmao. Damn you Hoyoverse, having a character actually make an intelligent choice but destroying so much potential for exploring Dottore!!! Also, don’t think much about the Eta name choice, it’s literally just 8 in Greek numbers and I based his personality off that one really young voice of when the segments get destroyed.

Anyway, Collei! I love her and her development in the manhua and game, though one thing I don’t really like is how she calls her past actions of lashing out against others childish. I mean, lashing out towards people who just want to help isn’t good, and it’s natural to cringe as your younger self, but there was a reason why you acted that way. In canon, even after getting out of the Fatui, she was ostracized and bullied by onlookers for her appearances and illness— no shit she’s not gonna trust anybody. Idk, maybe it’s because I never really got over my edgy phase, but it’s not childish for trying to survive and protect yourself, albeit aggressively.

Also, I wish that Wanderer and Collei interacted in the game because while everyone points out the obvious that they’re both victims of Dottore, Collei’s first thought of him is probably gonna be “god you’re so cringe.” LIKE WANDERER IS DEFINITELY THE EDGY LONER TYPE ON THE SURFACE AND COLLEI’S PROBABLY GONNA BE LIKE “BRO SHUT THE FUCK UP ARCHONS I THOUGHT THOSE INAZUMAN LIGHTNOVELS WERE EXAGGERATING.”

You know, it’s actually a while since we’ve focused on Scaramouche. Crazy, right? I mean, this was supposed to be Scaramouche-centric so I wonder how he’s doing—

“What are you?”

Shinigami blinks, glancing over her shoulder to face the boy before her. “…I’m me?” she answers unsurely, pointing an index finger to herself with a small tilt of her head, her long hair swaying to the side. “Shinigami.”

“No,” Scaramouche promptly rejects with a scowl, shaking his head. “That’s not what I meant— do you consider yourself human?”

Her lips part to reply— well, I don't identify as an attack helicopter— only to pause. Shinigami pushes the heel of her foot and fully turns towards him. She fully took in his appearance: stiff, agitated tension coils around his statue, his hands resting at his sides so still that much restraint must have been exercised to not ball up into fists, the shadows curling around his porcelain-pale face clashing with the harsh vibrancy of his indigo eyes— exuding an uncanny mystery, yet also making him all the more alluring. As always, she was completely mesmerized by him, the boy carved and abandoned by God. I have to answer him carefully, Shinigami thinks, lightly biting her tongue as she holds his stare with her own dark eyes— if I don’t, if I say the wrong thing, then he might just do something that can’t be reversed.

“What,” Shinigami tentatively begins to question, scavenging for any scraps of information that could be gleaned from the situation with a single step forward, “do you consider as human?”

The boy before her scoffs, breaking eye contact with a sneer. “The arrogance of their actions, the hypocrisy of their words, the futility of their aspirations, and—“

“And a beating of a heart?”

Scaramouche halts in his rant, his vivid eyes darting to glare a scorched flame at her. The tension, once as sharp as an obsidian blade, softens akin to the smoothness of a butter knife— that is to say, a butter knife can still cut. Shinigami's lips quirk upwards: “If it were really just that, then humans would be no different from animals!” A pause, then a small giggle, then a swaying of her body. “Well, humans are technically animals, but you get it— it’s more than that.”

The boy rolls his eyes, barking up a wry laugh as he shifts his weight onto one leg. “Alright, since you were originally human and thus—“ he laces a mocking smirk on his flawless face— “know oh-so-much about them, why don’t you tell me what constitutes a human?”

He’s smiling, but he’s scared. Shinigami knows him— she knows him. She knows how Scaramouche enshrouds his insecurities underneath the mountains of corpses that have stained his hands a putrid red, how he would lash out harsh insults to protect himself like the scarred little cat he is. Is he scared that my definition will clash with his, that it will undermine his actions into oblivion? Or is he afraid that… somebody else accomplished what he desperately wanted once upon a time?

But it’s okay— Shinigami's smile deepens, her eyes wrinkling into little crescents— there’s nothing to fear. After all: 

“I don’t know.”

Scaramouche’s eye twitches. “You don’t know?”

“Mhm!” The girl laughs when the boy’s glare scorched. “Look, I know there’s probably a concrete definition of a human, but you aren’t asking for that, are you?” Shinigami turns her heel to face the window. She takes a deep breath: it is a pitch-black night, yet there is enough light emanating from the window to reveal even the smallest specks of dust. How wonderous is it, for the moon to be so bright with its light? How pretentious is it, for the moon to claim the light as its own?  “The thing about this sort of question, Scaramouche, is that in any other way, there isn’t a simple description of what it means to be human.”

She places a hand against the glass of the window. “For instance, you could say that being human is to connect with others, to simultaneously express individual thought yet empathize with others. However, does that mean that sociopaths aren’t human? Some people don’t consider them as such, but I’m not really sure. I mean, regardless of how they don’t feel as much empathy as others, they still do feel.” Shinigami then creases her brows, a small frown tugging her facial features. “Hm, though, if we’re going on that train of thought, then even serial killers are still human, even if their crimes are so heinous that you can’t help but think that nothing but a monster can enact them.” Like Dottore.

She lets out a soft sigh, flapping a dismissive sleeve: “But I’m getting off-topic. Humanity, as you perceive it, is so contradictory, but perhaps that’s just what makes them so interesting.” Twisting her body towards Scaramouche, Shinigami holds her arms wide and high. “So, while I would like to consider myself human, it’s not that simple, is it? If it was, then people wouldn’t be getting identity crises everyday.” Her lips stretches up to yet another smile, one that had the boy's lips parting at the sight. “I wish I could give you a proper answer, I really do. All I can say—“ her arms fall with a dramatic sweep until her hands are pressed against her chest, where a heart once rested— “is that I am ‘me’.” 

I just hope that this doesn’t discourage you, or pushes you away from your path. Even if you never find the answer, as long as you are ”you,” then you shall shine in your own way. After all, even if the moon claims the light as its own, people will use its gentle illumination as a small salvation in the starless night. 

(She’s smiling, but she is not satisfied with the answer as well. Shinigami doesn’t seem to realize that as much as she knows him, Scaramouche also knows her— even if it’s not to the same extent. He knows how Shinigami would constantly overthink to the point of stupidity, how every step and word she speaks drips with uncertainty like the skittish little mouse she is. She’s trying to say qualifying as a human does not matter in the grand scheme of things, but….

Scaramouche stares at the girl before her, from someone who was never human to someone who no longer resides in a human vessel: Shinigami stands in the light, yet her face is covered in shadow, her void-like irises even darker than usual— illustrating her appearance in a revered eeriness, a mystical loneliness, in spite of all of her humanness. A question dawns on him, coils deeply in his stomach akin to a wiggling parasite:

What does it mean to be Shinigami?

Scaramouche isn’t sure if he knows the answer.

…He doesn’t know if Shinigami knows either.)

I hope that scene didn’t come out of left field because it’s not supposed to be. In the original brainrot, Lune and Shinigami have a co-dependent relationship because for most of their lives, they only had each other. It was because Shinigami was so hesitant in leaving his mindscape that the co-dependency somehow turned around into trust of not abandoning each other, letting each other bond with others without worry.

In this AU, while they aren’t strangers and definitely care for each other deeply, because Shinigami was booted out of Scaramouche’s mind sooner and forcibly, that codependency and trust couldn’t develop as much as it should have. Additionally, adding on to how Shinigami is slowly making friends and creating a good support system (Aether, Hilichurls, Arlecchino, Freminet, Childe, and maybe even Diluc), Scaramouche may start feeling paranoid about being abandoned. Of course, Shinigami wouldn’t just do that since she knows just how bad it feels to be abandoned, but Scaramouche doesn’t know that.

This leads to Scaramouche trying to isolate her by pointing out that she’s not human anymore, that she’s not the same as all of her friends. I personally don’t really give a fuck about species or whatever, and considering what people put on their Hear Me Out Cakes, Scaramouche shouldn’t either! That being said, I do sort of have an identity crisis??? Like, it’s more about how I don’t really have much to my personality, and can’t tell whether I’m truly happy or not. So that explains the last part of the scene.

And so! On to the start of Genshin Impact! …Sort of.

Okay, the thing is that the initial plan was that Childe was gonna kidnap— I mean, request for Shinigami to help him in getting the Geo Gnosis in Liyue since at that time, Scaramouche isn’t on a Gnosis mission yet and is practically on standby. This would’ve been great game-wise because when the player is introduced to Shinigami (well, officially, technically the first mention of Shinigami would come from Ella Musk of all people who is a super fan and wants to meet her idol lmao), they’ll assume that she works for Tartaglia, this luring them even further to a false sense of security in the Unreconciled Stars event when they see her again alone. Unfortunately, with the previous scene, I just don’t think it’s possible because WOW SCARA YOU’RE REALLY AMPING UP THE POSSESSIVENESS HUH?!

It’s really unfortunate because there’s a scene I have in mind that takes place right after the Liyue Archon Quest that I like:

Childe, being dragged by Shinigami to the hotel they’re staying at after the scene between him, Zhongli, and Signora: Shinigami, what are you doing?

Shinigami: …

[When they enter her room, she sets Childe on onto a chair before leaving to grab drinks. Soon, she gives Childe a shot of firewater and sits down on the chair opposite of him, cup of tea in hand.]

Shinigami:

Childe: ?

Shinigami: *takes a sip of her tea before speaking in an annoyed tone* this mission fucking sucked!

Childe: ?!

Shinigami: We worked our asses to try and find the Gnosis, got our hands dirty to find that one stupid ass sigil of permission, practically destroyed our reputation and diplomacy with the Liyue Qixing— all while fucking Signora and Zhongli who turns out to be the damn dead Geo Archon were scheming behind our backs and played us like fiddles! Damn!! Fuck!!!

Childe: :O

Shinigami:

Childe:

[Childe then downs his shot in seconds, not hesitating to reach for the bottle to start chugging that down as well]

Childe: you’re damn right! How could they?! I thought that we were all comrades—

Shinigami: heh, cum rag.

Childe: —Wouldn’t it have been the bare minimum to keep me in the loop as well?! There wasn’t a reason not to! Hell, was it because of the potential casualties for reawakening an old god?! I did it even when I didn’t even know there was a failsafe, so fuck right off!!!

[The two continue drinking while screaming their hearts out in the comfort of the room. Eventually, the feelings tide out, leaving Childe with a sense of emptiness.]

Childe, lowering his head with an empty glass in his hand: I… really didn’t want to do it. If I knew there was another way to complete the mission, I wouldn’t have involved the weak.

Shinigami, reaching out to pat his back in comfort: …I know.

I do think Tartaglia’s a really mischaracterized character, though I also think it’s not entirely the fandom’s fault. When 1.1 first came out, Tartaglia’s dialogue before his fight scene was mistranslated, portraying him more cruel than he actually is. Shallow memes have continued to mischaracterize him, but that’s just something that happens in fandoms, unfortunately. Though, now I think people understand some parts of him— like how he will definitely draw the line for his family, but everything is a push-comes-to-shove case if it’s for the Tsarista. Honestly, Tartaglia’s probably gonna be a tragic hero figure, and he’s DEFINITELY gonna die lmao like he’s the most likely besides maybe Albedo.

Also, I do understand Zhongli’s actions in the Archon quest— bro just wanted to retire— but did he… have to go to such extremes? He could’ve at least told Childe. I still like him but reading Childe-centric fanfics regarding the Liyue Archon Quest hurts my kokoro :(

Also also! I know what Shinigami did is hypocritical considering that she also knew of the plan (you know, since she played the game) but genuinely what would’ve happened if she did??? Would Childe not summon Osial? Would Liyue not pass Zhongli’s test??? She quite likes the Liyue after the Archon Quest, so she figured it would be better not to change anything. This is also sorta why this scene happens in the first place: at the very least, Shinigami wanted to relieve some of Childe’s frustration.

But anyway! That plotline’s scrapped! And we’re skipping most of the canon story up until Sumeru since it’s pretty much the same as the OG brainrot: the only things that are worth noting is that since Shinigami is actually part of the Fatui, she feels bad for partaking in the Delusion factory business (though both her and Scaramouche still make Nathan’s life a living hell) and Shinigami isn’t affected when Scaramouche inserts the electro gnosis in him. Oh, and in the Unreconciled Stars event, Mona may or may not be more disturbed about Shinigami than Scaramouche since Shinigami literally has Abyssal Energy around her in Mona’s eyes, not really a sight you see everyday.

Scaramouche: When I achieve divinity and godhood, where will you go?

Shinigami: ? I’m staying? Uhhhh where else would I go???

Scaramouche:

Scaramouche: (how dare you make me out a fool and make me overthink about my damn abandonment issues)

But yeah, that’s really what happens: Shinigami stays through the process of Scaramouche turning into a god and even after it all fails, much to Dottore’s constant mockery of her. However, unlike the OG brainrot, she isn’t there when Scaramouche erases himself, so one moment she’s leisurely waiting in the Sanctuary of Surasthana, and in the other—

She’s standing in front of a bloody test subject strapped to a table. 

Shinigami flinches, disorientated by the sudden change in environment. Something just happened, was her thought in an Alfred-Eggman voice. “The test subject has stopped responding. How unfortunate, it seems that we will have to stop today.” The girl glanced up, blinking at the suddenly appearance of the Omega Build of Dottore on the other side of the table, scribbling away on a clipboard. The doctor must have seen the confusion on her face, turning his face to give her a vicious smirk. “Hm? Did you want to continue working? You can pick another test subject if you’d like.”

”No,” Shinigami immediately replied, shaking her head. What is happening, what is this situation? If Scaramouche erased himself, then it’d make sense that I’m not sent back to his mind since it’s not the actual past that’s changed— but then why am I with Dottore? No, no, more importantly, what’s my relationship with Dottore now? Am I still a hater? Considering that I’m just standing here with no— wait— Shinigami digs into her pockets and pulls out a— a scalpel??? Okay, so I do have weapons but I’m just casually next to a possibly dead body, so that means I might be in a better relationship now??? Aaaaahhhh, why does Irminsul shenanigans have to be so damn complicated—

A hand suddenly lightly grabbed under Shinigami’s chin, directing it to Dottore who is suddenly way too close for comfort, his mask almost poking her face. “Are you ignoring me?” The puppet immediately wanted to slap the bitch, but the weird light lilt in the doctor’s voice made her pause. “Little parasite, after all this time, ever since centuries ago when you first appeared in my mind, you still won’t give me the time of the day, hm?”

What.

Excuse me.

Pardon me.

This does not compute.

Eto, sumimaseeeeeeeeeeen~ nani the FUCK are you talking about?!

New title: I Suddenly Became a Voice in the Most Heinous Genshin Impact Character's Head?!

OKAY SO THIS MAY SEEM ABSURD BUT THIS IS ANOTHER CALL BACK TO THE OC-INSERT IDEA THAT THIS AU IS BASED ON. You see, when the famous Harbinger reveal video came out, for some reason the brainrot started focusing on Dottore??? I don’t even like the dude that much he was just living in my head rent free 💀

Also, if we take out the memories of Scaramouche, then technically Shinigami first appeared in Teyvat in front of Dottore in a mindscape (meeting Aether doesn’t count because he only saw her in Scaramouche’s body), so Irminsul just overwrote that it was Dottore’s mind that she popped in, not Scara’s. This… may have some repercussions on some dynamics… aka I thought it would be funny for Dottore to develop a… not really a crush, but a fondness for Shinigami lmao. A really fucked up, I want to dig into your mind and tear it apart and keep the pieces for myself, fondness.

Also, a small foreshadowing I would've done if this was an actual fic would be that only Prime/Omega Dottore would refer to Shinigami as "Little Parasite" whereas all the other segments would just say her name or "you," implying that he holds more interest than should be natural to even him. 

Quite frankly, Shinigami is appalled. I mean, I like yanderes but only in fiction!!! That shit in reality and cringey as best and gross at worst!!!

She immediately goes out of her way to make amends for the stupid decisions the world and Irminsul made.

Dear the Dendro Archon, Lesser Lord Kusanali, Nahida,

PLEASE DON’T THINK I WILLINGLY ASSOCIATE WITH DOTTORE THAT WAS ALL IRMINSUL’S AND SCARAMOUCHE’S FAULT. TELL SCARA THAT I’M TRAUMATIZED BY DOTTORE’S ACTS OF AFFECTION BECAUSE OF HIS STUPID CHOICE OF HALF-ASSED ERASING.

Also, what’s his name now?

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I hope you have a wonderful day or night!

—Shinigami

Two weeks later, she gets a reply.

Shinigami,

You tell me.

[The letter is unsigned, but Shinigami could already tell who it was just from the handwriting.]

And that is how Lune gets his name! From there, Shinigami becomes pen pals with Lune and Nahida, where they talk about the Akademiya, funny theories, trivial stuff, and how to take down Dottore!!! Nahida enchanted the papers they use with special Dendro shit (aka I have no idea) so that they can’t be intercepted or read by others, so yay for security!

Eventually on one random letter, Lune asks Shinigami this:

Shinigami, is it possible to change the past?

Oh shit, it’s time. Shinigami always wondered if she would get this question after Lune got a new life. After all, as a player of this world, she was bound to have more information, a different perspective than a typical citizen of Teyvat. That is to say, she wasn’t completely knowledgeable of the lore, and she didn’t know if her answer would satisfy him. Well, he already couldn’t save his family, I doubt there can be anything worse than that. And so, she writes:

Dear Lune,

Do you know how the Sacred Sakura tree in Inazuma came to be? People believe it was always there, but that’s not the truth. Long story short, Raiden Ei recently planted its seed before sending it to the past five-hundred years ago. 

From what I believe, the past, present, and future all happen at the same time— meaning that the present we have now is most likely the result of time shenanigans that already or will happen. That being said, I genuinely do not recommend trying to change the past, not just because I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself, but because the costs are just too great (I’m speaking from the Honkai Impact experience Otto was craaaazy). Raiden Ei was only able to do that because Raiden Makoto and Istaroth basically cultivated the seed for a long ass time beforehand. 

I know this probably isn’t an answer you want but… I’m really glad you’re still here. Even if I’m not there with you, I’m so happy that you can try a new life.

—Shinigami

And that’s it. "AUTHOR WHAT THE FUCK YOU MEAN ‘THAT’S IT’?!" I MEAN I RAN OUT OF IDEAS AND DON’T HAVE AN ACTUAL ENDING💀 I mean, unlike where she was doing her secretary duties for Scara, she’s only a secretary in name under Dottore and basically does her own thing, so she could technically take part in post!Sumeru Archon Quests, but that’s pretty much it. 

I considered that she would be a mvp player in the Natlan war against the Abyss since she has Abyssal powers and could potentially (with enough practice with Enjou) mind-control the Abyssal creatures away from people and massively reducing casualties but I think I’m just reaching lolol. Maybe Shinigami gets hypnotized by Gosoythoth when it first appeared briefly before snapping out of it, consequently jumpstarting Dae’s manifestation and avoiding the Aether brainwashing??? Who knows. For a split second I considered Shinigami eventually turning into maybe the Sovereign of the Abyss??? But nah that’s too much of a power fantasy lol (VILLAINESS ARC???).

Also also, I really wanted a Neuvillette and Shinigami interaction where the former is immensely on guard because of all the Abyssal energy surrounding the later.

Neuvillette: The One Who Basks In The Abyss

Shinigami: ayo why are we pulling out the government names?!

Okay, so like uh by the time I’m writing this I just finished Act V of the Natlan Archon Quest and WOW THE FINALE WAS SO GOOOOOOD!!! SPOILERS but I like how they included EVERYONE (including people from side quests) into the climax and I really like how Mavuika didn’t die lolol. Seriously, I understand that she felt it was needed to sacrifice herself for Natlan’s protection in the long run, but I think it would’ve just made a bad precedent: future pyro archons would’ve seen that and, since they’re probably of the same mindset, would do the same thing— leading to a line of sacrifices, loss of lives that could have been lived with others. For Capitano to forsake his life isn’t really a sacrifice but a way for him to finally be at peace (also the reveal of him being a vessel for many souls to find peace really reminds me of a certain character from FMA Brotherhood wink wink nudge nudge and so I immediately understood how Capitano’s soul could be in tact after all those years). 

Tbh the one thing I could complain about is really minor but… I wish the boss battle was harder 💀 THAT SOUNDS SO WRONG COMING FROM ME BECAUSE I SUCK AT GAMES but I didn’t struggle at all! Using Mavuika and the Traveler as our only playable characters reminded me of the Kaslana Sisters vs Otto though, so that’s nice.

While I think Fontaine had the best story in general, Natlan’s probably the best finale for me. Kachina and Ororon were probably my favorites (though, I have to do an obligatory mention of Kinich and Ajaw as a Naruto fanfic writer lmaoooo).

But enough of that, it’s nothing about this brainrot (though, Capitano would definitely try to kill Shinigami on sight because, you know, Abyssal powers. Also, this entire brainrot wouldn’t make sense because according to Mavuika the Heavenly Principles would smite the instant a human used powers of the Abyss but! If the Abyss Order exists then surely Shinigami wouldn’t immediately die, right?). 

Tbh, I started this in like July but only finished just days before posting,,, Life got, uh… way worse than usual and mentally I am in shambles. Funnily enough, Wanderer got featured in a event right when I needed it: I genuinely think I would’ve given up that day if it weren’t for the fact that I didn’t finish the Simulanka story at the time. Thanks, Lune! Also, I called the similarity between Durin and Wanderer! I have proof here haha! Also, when Wanderer said “why would I listen to a voice in my head?” I just looked to the side and went: 👀👀👀 That event was just pure fanservice for me and I loved it!!!

So yeah. Really anticlimactic, but that’s all I got for this AU. That being said, I’ll repeat this: even though I mainly wrote this for myself, I hope that I gave you a bit of happiness. Life sucks, it will keep on sucking, and who knows when it’ll get better? However, just know that there is at least one person out there rooting for you. After all, we have to have something in common for you read this far!

Thank you so much for reading!!!

Chapter Text

Yaoshi: Guys~! I have a surprise for you~!

Nanook: idc

Lan: Is it your death?

Aha: You exploded a planet?!

Nous: There are three types of aeons.

Yaoshi: Nope~! Here

Yaoshi Has Added Shinigami To The Group Chat!

Nanook: Who

Nous: Wait, is that your emanator?

Fuli: It should be, I remember that was all they would gush about these days.

Shinigami: Yaoshi, why am I here? In fact, aeons have a group chat?

Nous: What, do you think that we won't use my people's invention? 

Shinigami: Yes. Definitely. Absolutely.

Aha: LMAOOOOOOOOOOO I LIKE YOU ALREADY

Yaoshi: Isn't she so dreamy~?

Lan: She would look better if she was dead.

Nanook: You want Yaoshi so bad it's not even amusing.

Lan: Yeah I want them dead.

Nous: Is that truly all that you think about?

Fuli: Why would you think otherwise? That's all they've done these eons.

Shinigami: omg its toxic yaoi. yuri.

Shinigami: uh

Shinigami: Wait, what's the nonbinary equivalent? 

Nanook: What.

Aha: LMAOOOOOOOOOO

Yaoshi: Awwwwww, we do look like a couple!

Yaoshi: Though, I adore you more, my dear emanator~!

Nanook: I swear you're more horny for this one than for any of your other emanators.

Yaoshi: What can I say?

Yaoshi: I am my follower's whore~

Aha: 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂

Shinigami: 💀

Qliopath: WAIT

Qliopath: IS THAT THE FUCKING GIRL WHO SEDUCED ONE OF MY EMANATORS

Aha: WHAT

Shinigami: uh

Shinigami: Mayhaps

Nanook: wait which one are you talking about

Qliopath: DIAMOND

Nous: YOUR HEAD HONCHO AT THE IPC AND WHO CONTROLS BASICALLY EVERYTHING EMANATOR???

Aha: SHE BAGGED HIM???

Shinigami: In MY defense, I did not intend that— he did everything.

Qliopath: LIES. 

Qliopath: My boy was the epitome of preservation before YOU femme fatale turned him into some possessive SLAVE OWNER

Lan: A what now

Fuli: He was already like that with everything that goes on in the IPC though.

Shinigami: You make it sound like I want someone to be a yandere for me???

Shinigami: .

Shinigami: Wait, that might be right LOLOL

Aha: That explains why Yaoshi wanted you as an emanator they also like Lan as a yandere.

Lan: FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT A FUCKING YANDERE I HAVE A VERY VALID REASON FOR WANTING TO SMITE THEM INTO OBLIVION

Shinigami: I'm surprised that y'all know what a yandere is 💀

Nous: As I have said, we are not so out of touch with our people's world.

Nanook: Aha keeps on talking about fanfics and it's fucking annoying

Nous: You, shush.

Shinigami: Omg, Aha, what's your favorite fanfic trope or genre?

Aha: Ah I love the good old crack

Shinigami: Omg same, don't you love it when someone casually mentions that they use a gun as a contraceptive?

Yaoshi: WHAT.

Lan: That's one way to do that.

Nous: NO NO DO NOT DO THAT DO NOT SPREAD THAT INFORMATION

Lan: Unless youre a Denizen of Abundance. Then knock yourself out

Yaoshi: :(

Qliopath: Yaoshi, stop doing that.

Yaoshi: But my emanator,, is liking Aha more than me,,, 

Yaoshi: :((((((((((((((((

Shinigami: Nah, don't worry: I would not trust Aha with my life. Mind you, I would not trust my life with yours either, but I at least know you aren't trying to be malicious.

Yaoshi: :)))))))))

Lan: That's disgusting I can't believe you get along with your emanators

Qlipoth: You should as well if you want your work to be more effective

Lan: I do! Unlike a certain someone

Nanook: No.

Xipe: What a glorious interaction!

Xipe: What a glorious interaction!

Xipe: What a glorious interaction!

Xipe: The bond between Yaoshi and their emanator is so accepting that it makes us want to harmonize along!

Xipe: The bond between Yaoshi and their emanator is so accepting that it makes us want to harmonize along!

Xipe: The bond between Yaoshi and their emanator is so accepting that it makes us want to harmonize along!

Shinigami: What.

Shinigami: Why are they doing that.

Fuli: Xipe has all three heads type at the same time, you get used to it.

Aha: Hey maybe I should do the same thing and connect my mind to someone

Shinigami: Weren't you the aeon who turned a worm into an emanator and it promptly exploded? And weren't you the one that blew up the Astral Express? I doubt that would go well.

Xipe: She exposed you Aha lol

Xipe: She exposed you Aha lol

Xipe: She exposed you Aha lol

Aha: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE XIPE

Fuli: A fellow lore enthusiast?

Shinigami: No, though not by choice— I am just terrible at retaining knowledge.

Shinigami: Yaoshi knows that most of my medical knowledge is from the many death-experiences I've had.

Yaoshi: Yes, my dear emanator, stop doing that :)

Shinigami: Tell that to my boss.

Fuli: They can't. He's the follower of our boss.

Nanook: Nepotism. My worst enemy.

Xipe: OUR worst enemy.

Xipe: OUR worst enemy.

Xipe: OUR worst enemy.

Shinigami: lmaooooooooo

Nous: You seem educated and full of curiosity. How would you like to be my emanator instead?

Yaoshi: YOU

Shinigami: Sorry, I passed the “Are You Human?” check.

Nous: I

Aha: HAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA LMAOOOOOO GET REKT YOU HUGE ASS CHUNCK OF METAL

Fuli: But aren't you a puppet?

Shinigami: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm a human at heart!

Yaoshi: No you aren't? I filled your body with plants~

Nous: YOU WHAT.

Shinigami: Yeah, it's kinda weird because they wiggle inside of me sometimes.

Shinigami: And then when I get really maimed they kinda. Spurt out and go all wild. Really hurts, actually.

Nanook: ??? Yaoshi wtf

Yaoshi: She's a very fragile girl!

Lan: Wow even for me that's bad

Lan: You want me to mercy kill you? Like I'll still kill you anyway but still

Fuli: This is the first time I've seen Lan actually try to be merciful.

Shinigami: Thanks but the funny part about it is how much Yaoshi crashes out. It's fucking hilarious.

Yaoshi: My dear emanator :((((((((((((

Shinigami: I'm not gonna leave you, Yaoshi. Calm down.

Yaoshi: :)))) Muah muah! I love you too!!!

Nanook: Simp.

Yaoshi: You just don't get it~! She LISTENS.

Qliopoth: That IS a good offer, not that I would want her.

Lan: Yaoshi? Crashing out???

Fuli: I can say that they have indeed crashed out for her before. Multiple times. 

Lan: Is that why my job got harder with all these new disgustingly Abundance-infected planets popping up

Fuli: Yes.

Fuli: And also because they get absolutely pounded in the bussy by her.

Shinigami: FULI????????

Shinigami: AYO YOU DID NOT HAVE TO PUT ME ON BLAST

Nanook: I did NOT need to read that.

Qliopoth: idk why you’re so surprised Yaoshi literally talks about it every single goddamn day.

Shinigami: YAOSHI??? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT.

Yaoshi: I must spread the word of good dick, my dear emanator~!

Yaoshi: AND THE AFTERCARE! OH MY TERMINUS I FELT LIKE A PAMPERED PRINCESS AFTER GETTING BRED A THOUSAND BABIES IN ME

Xipe: WOAH TMI

Xipe: WOAH TMI

Xipe: WOAH TMI

Nanook: Lmao you broke Xipe’s pretentiously unfazed act

Xipe: Shhhhhh!

Xipe: Shhhhhh!

Xipe: Shhhhhh!

Aha: But to have THE aeon all about benevolence praise the aftercare??? I might needa tap

Shinigami: I almost died by snu snu, I AM NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING ANYTIME SOON. 

Nous: Huh.

Aha: Wowwie Nous thats all u can think of for a big block of metal?

Nous: SHUT YOUR ASS UP, AHA, NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS AN ELOQUENT ANSWER!

Lan: Says the Erudition

Aha: Qlipoth your boy toy emanator's a monster fucker

Qliopoth: DO NOT CALL MY DIAMOND A MONSTER FUCKER

Shinigami: You know, Qilopoth being a mother hen is unexpected but it's still funny.

Aha: Yup its so fucking funny seeing folks worship them as some imposing military leader when in reality they weep when watching their followers grow up!

Xipe: Their fretting is so cute!

Xipe: Their fretting is so cute!

Xipe: Their fretting is so cute!

Qliopoth: Don't make me get the chancla.

Xipe: Yes, Mother.

Xipe: Yes, Mother.

Xipe: Yes, Mother.

Aha: Sorry Mommy Ive been naughty~!!! 🤤

Lan: Thats it I'm kinkshaming.

Nous: I'm ashamed that all the pursuit of linguistics has accumulated to forming those words together.

Xipe: But now that Shinigami's here, why can't we get our other emanators here?

Xipe: But now that Shinigami's here, why can't we get our other emanators here?

Xipe: But now that Shinigami's here, why can't we get our other emanators here?

Shinigami: I was questioning that too: I thought there'd be more considering that I became an emanator rather recently.

Nanook: Oh hell nah it would get toxic QUICK with all the conflicting factions

Nanook: Hell it already is with Lan and Yaoshi

Lan: Yeah I ahve no idea why you guys put us together. It's not even useful for tracking their position

Yaoshi: It’s so amusing to see you try though~

Lan: Go kill yourself

Nous: Wait, then how did Yaoshi even put Shinigami here then?

Yaoshi: I got permission from Ho-Oh!

Shinigami: THE POKEMON???

Nous: The aeon of Equilibrium, you dingus.

Aha: You actually looked smart until you said dingus lololol

Nous: YOU, SHUT.

Aha: Make me~

Nous: Oh, I'll make you alright.

Shinigami: Seeing sexual tension between a ball of metal and masks was not on my bingo card.

Fuli: Neither was adding a non-aeon here.

Shinigami: Wait, so you all just talk to each other here? 

Lan: Well yeah it’s kinda hard to meet up in person when we’re all over the universe

Fuli: Unless you’re Akavili.

Nanook: Who’s dead.

Lan: Yeah, they’re dead

Shinigami: No, I get that— it’s just that everyone thinks that you all are some dignified, pompous concepts deified. 

Shinigami: But, in actuality, you act like chaotic gremlins with too much power.

Aha: LMAOOOOOOOOO

Nous: I hate how you’re correct with your observation.

Nanook: Tbf we ARE better than everyone else

Lan: Narcissistic much?

Nanook: And no one would take us seriously if we acted the way we are here with them

Aha: No one takes you seriously anyway teehee

Nanook: Fuck off

Fuli: Remember how Annihilation Gang got obliterated by one Self-Annihilator? 

Aha: Funniest shit Ive ever heard

Nanook: IN MY DEFENSE I don’t give a shit about them

Nous: That’s not a defense at all.

Nanook: I dont care everything will die anyway

Shinigami: Hmmmmm, that’s very Nihility of you to say.

Qliopoth: Stfu we already established that Nanook’s the stand-in for IX in this aeon-forsaken chat.

Nous: That is just factually incorrect considering that most of us are aeons, therefore making this group chat not forsaken by aeons.

Aha: Um actually ☝️🤓

Nous: Terminus, Ho-Oh, please just ban them. I beg of you.

Shinigami: I’m new here, but even I know that’s not going to happen.

Aha: Id just hack back in anyway!

Shinigami: Oh, right, Lan, I have a question.

Lan: Yeah I would be happy to obliterate you!

Qliopoth: I was going to say that no one would actually ask that, but then I realized that people would rather die and preserve their self than turn into mindless monsters.

Yaoshi: They aren’t monsters! :( My progeny are simply liberated by mortal ailments!

Shinigami: The entire purpose of the Hunt was to hunt the Abundance, right? What would you do if you accomplished killing Yaoshi (Yaoshi, before you say anything, this is a hypothetical situation— HYPOTHETICAL!!!), thus removing your reason for existing?

Yaoshi: :(

Aha: Lmao she clocked Yaoshi’s reaction before they replied

Xipe: How very considerate of her emanator!

Xipe: How very considerate of her emanator!

Xipe: ​​​​​​​How very considerate of her emanator!

Lan: Oh I actually have an answer for this so I’d just merge with Nanook cuz we’re similar paths.

Shinigami: Like marriage Fear and Hunger style?

Lan: What

Aha: Yeah that pretty accurate

Nanook: what the fuck are we talking about

Aha: Nothing you uncultured swine would know!

Nanook: Nous give me their location I want to smite them

Nous: Even if I did, they’d just move to the other side of the galaxy.

Aha: Nah Id move just enough to be out of range of your attack just to piss you off lololol

Nanook: You fucker

Lan: ANYWAY I would still have to hunt every residual trace of the Abundance before that

Lan: Including you

Yaoshi: You touch one inch of my emanator and I will rip out your spine.

Lan: I

Qliopoth: YAOSHI???

Yaoshi: I am fed up with your insistent threats towards my dear emanator. The only reason you’ve gone so far with your little temper tantrum is because I let you get away with it and it is, quite frankly, inconsequential to me. Do not test my benevolence any further.

Nanook: Holy shit

Aha: Yaoshi is the dom in YaoLan I can’t believe it

Nous: THAT’S your first thought???

Xipe: ​​​​​​​It was our first thought as well!

Xipe: ​​​​​​​It was out first thought as well!

Xipe: ​​​​​​​It was our first thought as well!

Nous: I did not ask you.

Qliopoth: Nous, be nice to Xipe.

Nous: I was just stating the facts.

Qliopoth: Nous.

Nous: Fine. Xipe, I’m sorry.

Xipe: We accept!

Xipe: We accept!

Xipe: We accept!

Aha: Why cant you nice to me mommy 🥺🥺🥺???

Qliopoth: I disowned you.

Aha: 😱

Nanook: Get shit on haha

Fuli: Back on track, I have never seen Yaoshi act this way. They usually find Lan’s antics amusing.

Shinigami: Will confirm with the mental link I have with them, Yaoshi is actually pissed— fucking hell, Lan, you fucked up.

Lan: THEY WERE NEVER LIKE THIS BEFORE???

Qliopoth: I TOLD you that succubus is a bad influence!

Yaoshi: You are on thin ice, you lump of rocks.

Qliopoth: I

Qliopoth: FINE. I WONT ACCEPT HER THOUGH

Nous: She would actually be an incubus since Yaoshi is the receiver between the two.

Shinigami: Again, feels weird how much you all know all that.

Yaoshi: My emanator can be anything she wants as long as she’s alive~!

Aha: The whiplash is craaaaaazy 💀

Shinigami: Keeping Shinigami alive challenge (impossible)

Shinigami: Wait there’s actually a bomb heading at me

Shinigami: OH SHI

Shinigami: I HT T m

Yaoshi: NO MY EMANATOR

Aha: ​​​​​​​Oh my fucking god shes motherfucking dead

Chapter Text

“Yaoshi, are you more of a plant or an animal?”

In the corners of her mind, Shinigami heard the eldritch deity hum, their sweet voice echoing like a whale. “In what way, my little emanator?”

”Genitals.”

”Plant, then,” Yaoshi replied without a beat despite the inane clarification. Shinigami’s brows furrowed and eyes narrowed in displeasure, her hands fiddling with her phone. The bad thing about god-like beings is that they don’t get surprised by anything. “Why do you ask?”

Shinigami glanced up from her device to stare at the ceiling as if that would help communicating with the aeon. She would be embarrassed if there was anybody else in her room but then again, the Stellaron Hunters probably wouldn’t care— not because they didn’t think she was insane, but because they themselves were already insane. “Well, people already find aeons hot, including me, but I don’t know if it’s possible to have sex with them. You guys are just deified concepts— do y’all even have genitals? I mean, you already told me you do, but I wondered that if you did, if you would have something similar to an animal because you’re one of the more human-looking aeons, or a plant because of your whole wheat motif and whatever.”

“But if it was the latter, then that means no sex cuz plants reproduce asexually or so I thought—“ her voice raised as she waved her phone, its screen showing a search tab— “as it turns out, plants can fuck! Mostly flowers and wheat for some reason.” Shinigami lowered her phone, her lips staying parted as she really, really thinks about it. “…My whole education has been lying to me: making me think pollination was just about bees.”

She heard the deity giggle: “If you are so curious, I could have merely showed you.”

Shinigami blinked. “Your genitals?”

”That, and how my body works in action, if you so desire.”

Silence.

“…I am not into death by snu snu.” Shinigami settled on eventually— because really, what else was she supposed to say to her god propositioning to fuck? She could practically feel Yaoshi’s amused confusion, so she sighed and flapped her sleeve flippantly. “You’re huge! No matter what you do, I’m gonna get consumed or something.” I do not want to experience vore, thank you very much.

“I can make my form smaller.”

Now that got her considering. “…I’m topping. People already lose their brains when you just stab them with your tail. Hell, I’ll probably still die.”

”You will not die,” Yaoshi reassured. Shinigami could imagine them pouting, but maybe not— they don’t really feel much of anything. The side effects of being a concept deified, I guess. “However, is that so wise? Your body is pure and inexperienced, let me take care of you—“

“It’s really fucking creepy that you can tell that I’m a virgin,” Shinigami butted in because woah. What the fuck, dude. Pretty privilege is so real because if an ugly old man said that, then they would have been shot on sight. Yaoshi would have still been shot on sight if they were mortal and. Well. If Shinigami had better standards. “But also, I’m betting that you have near endless libido, so I kinda have to lead or I’ll just. Die.”

”You will not die, little emanator.” The aeon purrs once more, this time with mirth and not taking her at all seriously despite the clearly obvious danger.

She let out an exasperated huff: ”I’ll feel like death if we’re really doing this.” Wait, wait, are we actually doing this, wait, do plants have gender, does Yaoshi have a penis or a vagina—

Shinigami, eyes wide with a brand new fervor, lowers her head down towards her phone and frantically types into 10 different search tabs. “Okay, okay so I’ll have to buy a bunch of shit. I don’t think there’s enough bondage in the universe for all of your hands and I never got the appeal of gags. We definitely need vibrators there’s no goddamn way I’ll be able get you even semi-hard without them. Lube? Do plants need lube? I’ll get it anyway because I need lube. I should get a strap-on, or at least some dildo— wait, wait I should get coordinates for a sex shop to teleport to first, there’s no way I’m asking any of the Stellaron hunters to help me, that’s fucking embarrassing. Do I even have enough money on this? And there’s the location to consider— we’d need at least an 100 mile radius of no humans around or there’ll be bodies exploding—“

Melodious laughter broke her ramble: “While I adore your considerations, there is no need to ponder so much about our fateful intercourse.” What a way to confirm that we are actually gonna fuck, Shinigami thought wryly but let them explain. “I have a selected few flourishing planets isolated from sentient life and, as a reminder for your sweet, fallible brain, the powers of the Abundance have multiple uses.”

Ah, I guess that makes sense, Shinigami mused. It’s not surprising that being so involved with life, Yaoshi has fucked others before. And anything resembling tentacles, including vines, has always been used in hentai, so it’s on me for not thinking of that. That being said… “I still want a strap-on.” I at least want the experience.

“There is no need for any artificial object— I can simply give you a penis.”

She blinked. Her lips parted at the admission. “Ain’t no fucking way.” Say sike right now.

”I can give it to you right now, if you so wish.”

”No! No, no, no, nonono, no!” Shinigami sat up from her bed, dropping her device to frantically wave both of her hands towards absolutely nothing. “I have to meet up with the other Stellaron Hunters in like—“ she leaned down to check the time stated on her phone, eyes squinted— “half an hour. I don’t wanna figure out how to have good tuck-in game during that time.”

”Are you not wearing a skirt?”

”Knowing you, I’d get a big-ass schlong, a hunga-bagunga dong. Flattering, but ultimately inconvenient.”

Yaoshi chirped cheerfully, not at all refuting her claim.

It was nights later that Shinigami fiddled around with her bag, checking and rechecking and double checking that she had everything that she needed. She knew that this was probably a bad idea and that she will probably suffer the consequences even if she brought all of the stuff she wanted, but the little Stellaron Hunter just wanted to say hey, at least I tried. God knows (Hey, Yaoshi) that she does not do that enough. 

She sighed, zipping everything shut, and craned her head towards the portal in front of her. It was rather different from the portals she usually made: instead of essence of Abyss swirling ominously, it just was as if space was simply cut open, a clear view of a completely different scenery within the gap. Shinigami peered closer to the gap, noting the distinct smell of berries and natural shades of green. Suits Yaoshi, she mused. She took a breath— in, and out— before strengthening her resolve and stepping in.

Just like from what she could gleam from the small gap, the environment looked straight out of a scene from Hell's Paradise. A bit too much, actually: light dappled through the large trees, vines full of bunches of large flowers wrapped around each branch and bush, and the contrasting stillness of everything sent a shiver done her spine. Oh boy, I hope I don't see anything resembling Taoism or Buddhism anytime soon—

"My emanator," Something impossibly feathery light pressed against Shinigami's shoulders as a whispery chirp blew into her ear. She flinched harshly, whipping her head to a pale stomach. Huh. She blinked before craning her head up, up, up to a serenely smiling Yaoshi, their long blond hair framing their face and curtaining the emanator silhouette as they stared down at her. A hand, not the ones on Shinigami's shoulder, not the ones making nonsensical yet suave gestures, crept up to her cheek and caressed it gently. Their gold jewelry jingled as the aeon tilted their head, gaze soft and so intense that it felt like a seed was planted in her eyes and was trying to forcibly sprout out of it. "You have come."

Her lips parted. "...Did you take this form when you kissed me?" Shinigami asked instead of a greeting, lightly patting her chest because hot damn. Why did they have to jump-scare me with their beauty?! We literally have a telepathic connection, a warning would have been nice???

Yaoshi laughed— whether from her lack of external reaction or her internal screaming, who knows— their eyes crinkling into crescents as the rest of their visible hands embraced her body. "Yes. I must say, while I find your form so adorable on my palm, being able to hold you with my entirety is delightful." They spoke, their hands running up and down Shinigami's arms and sides so gently yet tantalizing enough that she could feel every movement with equal attention. 

"Yeah, yeah, okay," she dismissed them with a small push against their chest. Well, Shinigami tried but she more so pushed their diaphragm: why are they so tall? Didn't they shrink to human size? Then why are they almost double my size??? She glanced around the forest we were in, squinting her eyes in contemplation. "So... do you have an actual place or are we fucking on the grass? Do you at least have a water source for later?" If I survive? She added in my mind, though Yaoshi probably heard it.

"You will not die." Yup, they did.

The aeon swayed over to Shinigami’s side and, after wrapping five out of six of their arms around her, guided her through the paradise, an almost prideful lilt in their tone as they told her whatever species of plants they crossed by. Eventually, after showing Shinigami a waterfall and spring just a few paces away, the two reached their destination: huge green leaves were patted and weaved together on the ground, surrounded by sticks at the outline and bushy trees providing shade. It was a... "A nest." she commented dumbly, blinking at the absurdity of the situation.

Shinigami went to the edge of the nest to put down her bag, but the instant she heard its soft thud, a jolt shot throughout her body. Oh. Oh shit, we’re really doing this. 

She didn’t know if it was better that she no longer had a physical heart, because the cold anxiety coiling her chest was suffocating. Her eyes grew wide at the hyperactivity as her scorpion tail flicked around anxiously. Come on, you cannot be second guessing now, not when you’ve prepared so much! Like, Yaoshi probably wouldn’t care if I pussy’ed out cuz they don’t care much about anything— but I’d care! It’d be hella embarrassing if I stopped now but it’d also be embarrassing if I humiliated myself during sex! Oh, and I’d die I guess, uh, I mean never back down never what? Never give up—

“Emanator.” Shinigami’s head turned on instinct, mind still buzzing with nervousness, so she did not expect the sudden soft pressure on her lips. Suddenly, her mind was blank, sound empty as her wide gaze focused on an incredibly close Yaoshi’s face. Even when shrouded by their veil, the aeon’s serene beauty stood out in its perfection, in a way that felt too perfect to be true. Yaoshi ran their blunt nails (specifically asked by Shinigami— she did not want to be mauled during the freaky) through her hair, pulling her close into that heated haze as their tongue protruted past their lips and swirled around her tongue and then past the uvula and into her throat—

Her mind rebooted. Woah, woah, okay let’s stop there!!! As a puppet, Shinigami didn’t need to breathe— but she could practically feel herself getting sucked away. She pushed away from the deity more viciously than before, though the only reason why she was able to get away was because probably the aeon let her. She inhaled deeply, loudly that it practically cut through the idyllic silence within the paradise. “I thought I was topping?!” Shinigami exclaimed breathlessly, covering her mouth with a hand as she glared at them accusingly.

The ends of Yaoshi’s lips curled. “Yes,” they confirmed, voice smooth without a hint of guilt. As per usual. “However, the way you became so shy, so feeble like an injured fawn, made me want to take care of you.” The tall deity was not deterred when Shinigami’s face scrunched in disdain, opting to instead lean in closer once more. “Relax, my dear little emanator, for I shall enjoy our excursion regardless of what happens.” 

I…. There was still hesitance bubbling within her throat, but she gulped it down. “Okay,” Shinigami conceded, bobbing her head. She gestured to the nest: “Let’s go in first.” The aeon nodded in agreement before tenderly taking her hand with multiple of theirs, the limbs wrapping around like festering vines they pulled the girl in. Oh, Shinigami noted as they took off their shoes and stepped inside and patted the laid leaves, it’s soft. 

When they came to the middle, Shinigami craned their head towards the aeon, pursuing her lips before lifting a hand. “May I take your clothes off? Or do you want me to strip first?”

Laughter slipped from Yaoshi’s lips. “There is no need to ask,” they assured in a tone that implied that such a notion was unthinkable. ”You may do whatever you wish.” 

Uh, yeah, that’s not supposed to be the norm, Shinigami thought but kept her tongue as she watched them lower their head, lower their body towards them— large, wooden horns and silk veil presented towards her. It was strange, a God bowing towards their follower. Though, as Shinigami tentatively placed her hands onto the light fabric, so close to the aeon’s closed eyes and cascading blond hair, she couldn’t help but think that this looked like—

“This feels like I’m unveiling the bride.”

Yaoshi let out a saccharine chirp: ”Would you like to get married?”

“Ahaha, you’re asking too much.”

Shinigami let the veil unceremoniously drop to the ground after taking it off (it somehow phased through the horns, don’t ask her the science behind that). The jewelry too— fiddling with the gold and pearl beads and many blond strands as she did so. Her hands stroked down from their neck, to the collar bones, and shrugged off the draping satin off their torso. Her eyes blinked at the stumps that awaited her, the flushed nipples so enticing that she stared at them for a moment.

Yet, when her gaze lowered to the cloth wrapped around the aeon’s waist, Shinigami paused. She could feel the many eyes implanted in Yaoshi’s skin staring intensely at her, swirling the anticipation within the tips of Shinigami’s fingers. This was the main reason why they were doing this in the first place, having sex— to know just what was in Yaoshi’s pants. Shinigami placed a hand onto the fabric, took a deep breath, exhaled slowly— and then pulled.

Huh.

To be honest, Shinigami was completely expecting some enormous, pulsing dick with like. Ridges. Or forked or something. Or maybe the good old tentacles. What she found was a clean flatness, not even hair on the aeon’s pelvis. Her brows scrunched as she crouched down, ignoring how making any sort of negative reaction towards anyone’s genitals is typically just asking to be bitch-slapped. Looking closely, Shinigami noticed that there was in fact a slit on Yaoshi, in the same place where a biological woman’s private spot would be. Yet, there was no clitoris or labia peeking out. A vent? A cloaca, maybe? 

She straightened up, ignoring the aeon’s piercing gazes on her. Shinigami lifted her arms out, hands partially covered by her long red robe sleeves. “Do you want to strip me or…?”

“Of course, my little emanator.”

Perhaps it’s because Yaoshi had already initiated so much physical touch, but she was less uncomfortable than she expected as they took off their clothes with much more grace. When they were done, both bare, Shinigami grasped both of the deity’s wrists, thumbing the pink tattoo on one of them with a narrowed, contemplative gaze. Once more, she inhaled slowly, settling her nerves, before slowly lowering the both of them to the floor, sitting on the lush leaves.

“Be patient, okay?” Shinigami not so warned because, if anything, she needed the warning. However, she needed the aeon to understand that they cannot do anything rash— or else Shinigami fucking dies. “I thought… very hard about what to do, so it’ll really mess things up if you take over.”

Yaoshi simply smiled, though they’ve been smiling this whole entire time that it didn’t reassure her. It really felt like they weren’t actually taking her seriously and was simply entertaining her. She would’ve been offended, but then she mused that this is just how they treat everyone.

Okay. Okay. “I’ll start now.”

Slowly, hesitantly, Shinigami reached out to cup under the aeon’s boobs, earning a soft hum from them. Rubbing the flesh, it was more plump than she expected considering that there were slits carved into their torso. “Do the gaps on your chest have any function? Or are they just for aesthetic purposes?” She asked out of preserving her sanity, fondling the outlines of their breasts without pause. 

Yaoshi shook their head, their long blond hair swaying along with the action: “They give easy access to the many fruits within me, if there are pitiful ones nearby in need of cleansing their mortality.” They spoke calmly, like they weren’t being groped around. It was then that the emanator squeezed the flesh within her grasp— the deity’s body suddenly tensed, so subtly and for just a split second that if she wasn’t touching them, Shinigami would’ve believed that she wasn’t affecting them. Oh— something stirred within the puppet, her stomach doing flips— that’s good. 

With that thought in mind, Shinigami continued massaging, circling around the mounts of flesh, squeezing it, mouthing against the collarbone and neck every once in a while. Yaoshi sat straight in the beginning, but as time passed, the aeon slowly slouched and parted their legs. Their arms began wrapping around Shinigami’s shoulders and their hands grasping the grooves of her back and hips. Soft hums and chirps slipped out of them, sweet and melodic and not fucking enough.

“Yaoshi,” Shinigami called out, swirling her index fingers on the aeon’s areola. “Can you lactate?”

”If—“ a small whine— “if the treated needs it….”

”Very convenient. Can other aeons do that as well? Do they have periods?”

”Only… only biological ones such as I—“

Such a delicious noise came out of them when Shinigami finally touched their nipples, pinching the stiff nubs just enough that it wouldn’t hurt (not that an aeon could get injured from pinches) but that the touch would be intense. Yaoshi jolted, their thighs squeezing together as the hands on her back gripped to the point of pain. 

The puppet barely minded, staring at the deity’s flushed, pleasured expression with wide, enraptured eyes. “Very pretty,” Shinigami murmured, almost in a daze— then she suddenly felt something wet touching her knee. She blinked, momentarily pausing her ministrations to glance down— only to blink once more.

That… wasn't there before.

What awaited Shinigami’s gaze was Yaoshi's pelvis— that fact wasn’t surprising. What was surprising was that instead of clean flatness, the slit had opened— no, blossomed into petals of gummy flesh, dewed in slimy slick and hole pulsing wide. Three long stamen-like dicks (or are they dick-like stamens???) protruded out of the gaping hole, erect and magnolia yellow at the tips. She— Shinigami just stared. She couldn’t tell if the jittery nerves she felt came from disgust or fascination. Probably both.

Nonetheless, Shinigami felt a hint of pride swelling in her chest warmly— Yaoshi actually liked what she did enough to get wet. Of course, she wasn’t naive enough to believe that it meant that the night was over and she had survived since— as the aeon’s title suggests— they definitely had an abundance of stamina, but at least she knew she had a chance. For now.

”My dear emanator.” Shinigami blinked at the serene voice with just the slightest hint of a whine, limbs upon limbs pulling her closer to the being under— well, even when they were under her, Yaoshi still loomed over her. 

She glanced at Yaoshi, who looked absolutely enthralling with flushed cheeks and their bottom lip slightly puckered out. Strange to see from such an apathetic deity, but beautiful nonetheless. “Sorry, sorry,” she murmured with a smile, rubbing their shoulder in comfort. “I’ll continue now—“ and with that, she nommed the aeon’s nipple. 

Yaoshi keened.

Shinigami relentlessly pursued her attack on the aeon’s chest, making them writhe and mewl and cling and moan. She pecked eagerly all across the smooth service and trailing down to the navel, watching it flush pink. “Oh wow,” she remarked, watching the flower-like genitalia squirt out more glistening liquid. “You are gushing.” 

“Ah, ah! Mm, yes, it is ready for you, my little emanator. I will— hah— give you a dick and it will slick so smoothly inside me, it will feel so good for you—“

”But you’re not ready yet,” Shinigami interrupted Yaoshi softly, pressing her hands firmly into the deity’s thighs to ground them, lest they get carried away with their rambling. “At least, I haven’t done everything yet.” Turning her head, Shinigami crawled over to the back that she brought and dug around its insides. Once she found what she wanted, the girl brought it out for the aeon to see.

Yaoshi’s face did not scrunch or darken, but the utter blankness in their expression, other than the constant smile they had, showed the just the tiniest of judgement. “…I do not need machinery.” 

Shinigami rose a brow, waving the small vibrators in her grasp. “If I do the same method the entire time, I know that you will not be satisfied— we both know that.” The deity did not reply, but that along with how composed they were despite all the moaning only proved Shinigami’s point. She sighed: “Dude, if you’re giving me a dick— still don’t know how that’s gonna work— then that means that I’ll probably not be used to it and probably pass out after a shot or two.” 

“My blessing can easily do the purposes those objects can do.”

“Yeah, but I’ll probably lose control of them during sex.” Shinigami then crawled back to Yaoshi, stopping close enough to hold one of their many long, slim hands in between hers. Three pairs immediately enveloped her hands. “What I mean is that even if I’m the inexperienced one here, I still want you to have a good time. I’m not gonna force you, Yaoshi, but please try it.”

A beat of silence between the two, only the distant sounds of the rushing waterfall can be heard. Then, Shinigami heard the soft sounds of leaves rustling before feeling lips press lightly on her forehead. “Very well,” Yaoshi gives because that’s what they do— they give and they give so eagerly. “I shall do whatever you wish for.”

”Mhm. Don’t force yourself though.”

Yaoshi giggled mirthfully at that, most likely at the idea that they could be forced to do anything, especially by a puny puppet. Not that they would ever put it in such mocking words— but she digresses.

Shinigami wasn’t quite sure what would happen if something electrical was placed on an otherworldly being— at the worse they’d explode and Shinigami would have to spend the next hour or so regenerating her face, completely turned off— but she mused that if Yaoshi could wear clothes, then surely they can use some vibrators, right? 

Thankfully, nothing exploded when she taped them on and how there were two small vibes on both sides of the aeon’s chest. “I’m gonna turn them on now.”

The deity didn’t respond even after a moment, so she took it as acceptance and turned the toys on with a button. There was a sudden buzzing sound, and Yaoshi tensed up. Shinigami frowned, gently rubbing their shoulder. “You okay?”

The aeon stared at her, the numerous eyes scattered all over their body boring metaphorical holes onto Shinigami. But then Yaoshi’s gaze softened, the deity leaning forward to rest their cheek on her head with a small hum, careful not to hit the horns. “They feel adequate.” With the close proximity, Shinigami almost felt the vibrations, her lips pressing together with growing anticipation. “Though I do prefer your touch instead, my little emanator.”

Shinigami didn’t really know what to say to that— as your typical virgin loser— so she opted to lightly push Yaoshi to lay down. After that, she lowered herself towards the blond aeon’s private spot, the flower-like genitals oozing with… probably precum? Anyway, Shinigami tentatively held one of the stamens in her hands, the rod thick and hard. She took one look and, before she could back down, enveloped the tip with her lips.

Her brows immediately furrowed, her tongue slowly swirling around the dick as she distinguished the taste— ignoring the soft sounds from the blond. Seconds later, she pulled away. “It… kinda tastes like celery? Slimy celery.”

”It is delicious, is it not?” Yaoshi mused, a bit breathlessly (not that they needed to breathe).

”I don’t like celery.” And I have a vendetta against the plant because of the betrayal I had in preschool.

Instead of looking insulted, Yaoshi laughed— their voice resembling the chimes of bells despite wavering every few beats. “My dear emanator, you do not have to continue if you do not wish to.”

Shinigami shook her head: “it’s fine. If anything, I’m surprised you’re putting up with all of this, even if you are a benevolent god.” With that, she resumed sucking on their cock, stroking its base clumsily yet eagerly up and down, periodically caressing the other two stamens. The deity’s pistil— the vagina equivalent of the flower genital— clenched every time she slurped any precum that came out, and before she knew it, Yaoshi was spilling out whorish mewls and moans.

”Hah, ah…!” She looked up to see Yaoshi massaging their breasts with an ecstatic, flushed expression before another pair of limber, pale arms reached out and grabbed her by the horns. Shinigami only had time to let out a tiny whimper before they were pulled further down their dick, though thankfully not to the point of suffocation. “So good, so good for me, my— ah! Dear emanator…!”

Oh shit, Shinigami thought as she felt the rod get bigger, is that supposed to happen— Something exploded in her mouth.

Shinigami’s eyes widened as liquid rapidly gushed down her through, struggling to swallow it all. She pulled away, the hands on her giving slight resistance, as she then coughed some up. The cum was a translucent white, gooey and goopy in her hand. She stared at it, licking her lips. “Hm. Sweet like sugarcane.” Thank the lord, I was hoping it wouldn’t taste like pennywort or something, though it’s a weird combination with the celery taste, Shinigami thought as she wiped the excess on the nest. There were a lot more on the other two dicks considering that she wasn’t sucking on them but oh well, she’d deal with that later. “You know, if it’s always this sweet, then I wouldn’t mind sucking forever—“

She was suddenly propped up. Shinigami blinked.

“Huh, Yaoshi?” A pair of hands gripped her hips, and another hand, this time glowing green faintly, pressed on her pelvis— a small meep came out of her as a sudden fuzzy feeling erupted from that area, her stomach churning from the strange sensation. Shinigami then suddenly swayed a little, taken back by a sudden heaviness. She craned her head downwards right when the aeon removed their hand away and—

Oh. Oh, so that's where the enormous, pulsing dick was.

The cock was huge, flushed beet red, and attached to her crotch, large veins scrawled all over the erect rod popping out and curving just slightly. It, in all honesty— Shinigami pressed her hand against her lips, her eyes narrowed— sorta looked gross. Like Luo Binghe’s Heavenly Pillar but ten times worse. 

She was going to say it out loud, but then the grip on her hips tightened, causing her to focus on Yaoshi and— wow. They were absolutely debauched, their main green eyes wide and looking ready to devour fruit from the divine. Well, not enough for them to still look lucid, but their large horns glowed an ominous green and the eyes all over their body a dangerous red as the deity parted their lips longer and longer until there was a concerningly loud crack and did they just fucking unhinged their jaw???

Shinigami moved to get away but, well, they were still held by the deity. Frantically, she started waving her hands hazardly instead. ”Wait, wait, wait, wait—!!!” Her shrill yells were sharply turned into a yelp as Yaoshi plunged their mouth on her newly grown dick, going down ruthlessly to the point they buried their nose against her pelvis. Shinigami mentally screamed as her senses were suddenly overloaded by the intense wet warmth around her cock. Her meek whimpers were overshadowed by the loud, squelching sounds coming from the aeon as the latter went up and down on her cock and their hands fondling her balls, the girl clumsily jerking back and forth under the almighty force.

”Ya— Yaoshi, I’m gonna cu—“ Shinigami pleaded in an attempt to get them off of her, but the god decided to clutch harder on her, their nails digging deep as their long tongue continuously lavished all over her dick.  She couldn’t really think anymore at that point and promptly gave up, closing her eyes firmly shut before reaching forward to roughly grab the god’s antlers— earning a very deep and mind-blowing groan that vibrated all over her cock, wow did that feel, uh, good— and pulled. “Hmph— ugh…!” In that moment, the searing hot build up within Shinigami burst, unleashing her spend in Yaoshi’s fucked up mouth.

Shinigami shuddered in the small moment of afterglow, catching her breath as she let the aeon lick off the excess liquid. Yaoshi’s eyes crinkled in delight, their serene smile wide and longer than what should be physically possible as they let out a blissful sigh. Shinigami’s face scrunched at the sight and slowly let go of their horns—

Only to then lightly smack them on the head. “The fuck was that?!” Shinigami yelled, puffing her cheeks out as she continued to hit them.

Yaoshi just took it like the little bitch they were, not looking guilty in the slightest as they just casually re-hinged their jaw. “Must you blame me? Your ministrations were so pleasurable that I simply needed a taste of your essence.” They moaned softly when a hand brushed against their chest— that still had activated vibes— to cup the side of their face. “You did not hate it, yes?”

”…I didn’t hate it,” Shinigami sighed, changing from smacking the god to simply rubbing their head, almost wilting in defeat as the latter let out a satisfied hum as they leaned against her touch. “And yeah, it felt really, really good. Just give me a heads up, okay? I’m still a virgin.”

”Yes, let us change that, shall we?”

Uwah, that intense stare Yaoshi gave was intimidating. Shinigami’s dick perked up. “Yeah, okay, just lay down again,” she awkwardly ordered with the urge to fight down the heat on her cheeks, not that she would win. Win? Nah, I’d lose.

True to her thoughts, the moment she saw Yaoshi laying on the nest, their body twisting in a position that just highlighted every tantalizing aspect of their pale, lithe body with their eyes boring down with a soft glow, Shinigami felt like melting into a puddle. She distracted herself with getting her bag from the side and getting out the lube she bought just for this occasion, shivering when she drizzled some onto her hand and then rubbed it all over her cock. Then, hesitantly, she scooted over so that she sat in between the aeon’s legs, grimacing at the small smack her big dick made when she placed it just beside of Yaoshi’s flower-genitals. She saw the god’s lick their lips— oh god.

A breath. “No babies,” Shinigami blurted out, just in case: as she found out when fleshing out the details of this night, it turns out that as the aeon of the Abundance, Yaoshi could literally decide when to have babies (which means they definitely have children, what a weird concept), sexually or asexually. “Or else I’m breaking out the condoms,” she added, jabbing a thumb at her bag that was left to the side. 

Yaoshi chuckled, though Shinigami had the feeling that the reason they weren’t pouting and whining was because she had already given a long, long lecture/rant before this night. “My dear emanator, I will not do what you do not desire…” she gave them a flat look. “…The desires that are concrete.”

Shinigami nodded at that. “Good.” She almost laughed when Yaoshi preened at this, but focused her gaze onto the predicament at hand. Her dick. And Yaoshi’s body. Her shoulders sagged. “Okay, I’m gonna… I’m gonna go in,” she announced, more so for hyping herself up. She grabbed her huge appendage— mildly wondering how the fuck it would fit into Yaoshi— and aligned the tip to the gaping maw that was the aeon’s genitals. Shinigami swallowed at the sight, some emotion curling inside that she wasn’t in the mind to unpack, and placed both of her hands on Yaoshi’s hips. Inhale, then exhale— and then she slowly pushed into the pistil.

The sheer slimy warmth was almost enough to make her bust right then and there. Even when she barely put her dick in, the way Yaoshi’s body wrapped and squeezed around her— weird, considering that she put all that effort into loosening them— was enough to make her feel like she had lost some years. Hell, she might’ve, the was Yaoshi she was talking about. Wait, did I even have years? I’m an undying puppet so…. 

Anyway, after a moment that seemed to stretch too long, she finally bottomed all the way in, her body hunched over as she caught her breath.

”Congratulations, my dear,” Yaoshi chirped, not sounding nearly as winded as her. “You are no longer an innocent fawn.”

”Yippeeee.” She craned her head up, ignoring how all three of the aeon’s stamen-dicks were pressed against her stomach, and then blinked at Yaoshi’s: their stomach bulged up to the point of their navel, the bump wide and clearly defined. “Uh, um, you okay?” Perhaps Shinigami shouldn’t be the one asking this considering how she was still struggling to fucking breathe and that Yaoshi has probably taken worse (again, this wasn’t even their actual size they just shrunk down to somewhat accommodate hers), but, uh, it looked wrong. How the hell do people like this in hentai and porn?

Yaoshi didn’t answer, simply wrapped their arms around her neck, back, waist, and placed one hand on her left cheek and another hand on top of her right hand. “You may start whenever you want to, little emanator.”

“…Right.”

Guys, fourth wall break here, but I have no fucking idea how I’m supposed to write this. It’s been over a year of me struggling on this and, who would’ve guessed it, I’m really fucking tired of this shit so. Uh. Bear with me.

Shinigami sucked in a breath and slowly started pulling out, wincing at the sensations coursing through her. Once she had painstakingly done that, she clumsily slammed back in, earning a soft hum from the aeon. Shinigami huffed once more, feeling all tight and hot but not enough to call it quits like an absolute pussy, and did the action repeatedly. 

If she wasn’t a… you know, virgin five minutes ago, then maybe Shinigami would have said something— maybe dirty talk, the aeon of Abundance would probably enjoy dirty talk, right?— but she was too focused on milking in the sounds coming off of Yaoshi, reeling in their body for every time her body smacked against theirs.

”Ah, hah, emanator,” Yaoshi beckoned with a sweet lilt, gently grabbing her head closer to theirs. The deity pursued their lips, gaze slightly hazy yet heated. “Kiss me.”

She. Um. Never knew how to make out, her reaction when Yaoshi kissed her earlier kinda implied that already. She definitely knew how to pucker her lips and do a simple peck— but how the hell do tongues work? So, when Shinigami’s and Yaoshi’s lips interlocked, she let the god do all the work, opting to instead reach out and fondle their chest. “Mmph!” The aeon let out as they had their tongue down Shinigami’s throat, the latter fiddling with the vibrators on the former’s breasts.

By the time the two broke out of their kissing, Shinigami was feeling the nearing of yet another climax. “I, um, I’m about to cum—“ the walls around her cock immediately tightened. “Yeah, okay, I don’t know why I was expecting anything else.” Her rutting got all raggedy and sharp, deterring from the relatively stable pace that she just got, before she bucked over and spilled her white stuff inside. She buried her face into the crook of Yaoshi’s neck, peppering kisses on the side and one small bite on the area connecting the aeon’s neck and torso, earning a melodic moan from them.

Something wet got on her, so Shinigami glanced downward to see her stomach drenched in Yaoshi’s cum as well, yet they didn’t even go limp. “What the hell,” she mumbled to herself: Shinigami knew full well that someone like the fucking aeon of the Abundance of all things would have a strong libido— and she had some understanding that she would probably not keep up with it— but it was now that she felt a sinking fear of death.

”You will not die,” Yaoshi replied for the millionth time, cooing at her as their insides still clenched around the appendage lodged into them. One of their hands rubbed up and down on her arm, grounding her. “However, if my dear emanator is too tired, then I will take over.” A shiver crawled down Shinigami’s spine. The aeon didn’t even look disappointed as another hand rubbed the back of Shinigami’s nape: their expression relaxed and serene, like this was inevitable and how while she was able to entertain them, this was all just indulging her and they weren’t taking her seriously and— ugh.

”You know,” Shinigami pushed herself slightly out. “You’re really fucking annoying.” she gritted out before slamming back into them, harsher than ever. Yaoshi yelped by the force, them tightening momentarily before relaxing— though their main eyes were now wide. They didn’t look scared— more so intrigued— but it seemed like they were finally looking at her. Shinigami stared down at the god under her, her face scrunched up into an intense glare. “Why don’t you shut the hell up and just take it?”

And if Yaoshi’s smile got a bit wider than usual, then that was just a bonus.

She lost track of time after a while— if there was even a concept of time in that forest.

After that little claim of hers, Shinigami started relentlessly ravaging the aeon (with consent): doggy style, legs on the shoulder, cowgirl, side-to-side, and even more missionary. No lube, no protection, backwards, forwards, sideways, upside down, bent over, in the basement, have the most toe curling, back arching, leg shaking, dick throbbing, fist clenching, ear ringing, mouth drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffling, eye watering, eye rolling, hip thrusting, knuckles cracking, jaw dropping— you get the point. Honestly, it was out of horny spite that Shinigami didn’t collapse yet, and it was a miracle that she wasn’t shooting out blanks yet.

That being said, all of her efforts were not in naught. As more and more orgasms went on, Yaoshi’s demeanor slowly began to crumble: their actions used to resemble the ones often seen in a porn, sufficient to the senses but a bit disingenuous if examined closely— but now their moans were guttural and inconsistent, their flushed body uncontrollably writhing in pleasure.

It was vindicating.

”Ah! Ah! Urgck, so good— so, so, so goooodddddd…! Feels so much, want you so much— augh!!!”

Currently, the two were in a mating press, the taller one using one pair of their arms to hold their legs up to their head. Shinigami’s long dark hair draped down her back and mingling with where it touched Yaoshi’s golden locks that fanned around them. The nest under them was absolutely filthy, stained and soaked with body fluids— it were to a point that Shinigami peeled off the vibrators in Yaoshi as they were slipping from the amount of sweat they (or possibly she) accumulated.

“So good, huh?” Shinigami’s voice was deep and haggard as she jutted out slightly, yet her eyes were wide and drinking in the delicious expression Yaoshi made like a predator would a prey. “Or are you just saying that to be nice, hm?” she asked before she pounded back in, gaining a sinfully whorish squeal from them.

“Nyohhhh…” Yaoshi whined, too fucked over to be their usual serene self anymore. “My— my womb… so full! So deep! Want you so badly— ugh, ah, want Shinigami so badlyyyy….” They were moving their lips in a way that practically screamed for kisses, but Shinigami didn’t grant that wish.

Shinigami hummed, pressing a thumb onto one of the aeon’s wrist’s pink tattoo before navigating between the tangled mess that was Yaoshi’s arms to place a hand onto their swelling belly. “Your womb, huh?” Her hand pressed against the skin. The aeon mewled. “It’s pretty big— almost like you’re pregnant.” At her words, the deity’s inner walls squeezed tight, their stamen-dicks moving closer to the center. Shinigami winced, but continued: “You— you like the thought of that, huh? You like, hah, being stuffed with babies, right? You whore.” 

“Yes, yes, yes, yeshhhhh!”

Shinigami was really, really holding onto Yaoshi’s integrity about keeping their promise about not producing babies, but she pushed that thought for later, opting to let out a few giggles instead. “You cute little cock slut.” She got a whimper in response. “Okay, then I’ll— fuck— I’ll fill you to the brim.” She pushed herself beyond ultra and started rutting even faster, feeling that swelling in her erect rod that was now familiar to her. “This is the last one— savor it.”

“Ah, ah!” Yaoshi’s panting got more rapid, arms wrapping around Shinigami so tightly that it was difficult to move, and the latter could feel them practically suffocating her cock, their own dicks roughly slapping her stomach during the motions. Their face scrunched uncharacteristically, eyes alight with lust. “Yes, give it to me, ugh, please, please, please, Shinigami— aah!!!”

With one final thrust, Shinigami groaned and unleashed her load, seeing white and feeling like a searing electricity was going through her body. She heaved heavily as she laid on top of the individual under her, riding that high as adrenaline slowly ebbed away. Moments later, basking in that small afterglow, Shinigami tiredly pushed herself and tried to pull herself out—

Only to get stuck.

Shinigami’s brows furrowed in confusions, her once barely opened eyes now fully and she craned her head downwards, her gaze trailing the aeon’s ethereal, divine body before it landed on the intersection connecting the two of them:

Yaoshi’s skin was merging into hers , milky white against tan.

Her eyes widened and her body struck cold. She stared down at it like she would a bug: silent but with overwhelming dread. “Yaoshi,” she mumbled out, patting them on one of their arms (that she just noticed was also absorbing with her, what the fuck) embracing her, first slow but it quickly got more incessant as the connection between their private spots grew and got harder to move. “Yaoshi, Yaoshi, Yaoshi—“ Frustrated at the lack of response, Shinigami finally tore away her eyes from the fear-inducing sight towards the god’s face, ready to yell at them— only for her words to die in her throat.

Yaoshi’s expression was, for lack of better words, absolutely fucked out. Their main eyes were wide yet hazy, head tilted to the side, and lips parted just slightly and in a loopy smile as small giggles and soft, incoherent sounds fell carelessly. 

Oh no, Shinigami thought as horror dawned on her. They’re in subspace.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 

Her exhausted mind whirred like crazy as she frantically thought of what to do, her scorpion tail swishing aggressively. As much as she daydreamed about it, Shinigami didn’t think that she could turn the aeon into something so… muddled: Yaoshi was the poutine of a serene calmness, a still water in contrast to her flippant emotions. She doubted treating them rough would do any good, considering that’s what she did to get them into this state in the first place. But what else could she do?

Shinigami—taking a deep breath, letting the air course through her body— thus decided to do the opposite. 

“Yaoshi.” Her voice held a soft, quiet timbre as she inched closer to the deity’s face— well, as much as she could with about half of her body stuck on them. She reached a hand out to tenderly caress Yaoshi’s cheek, the latter unconsciously leaning against her touch. “Yaoshi, you did very, very good,” Shinigami praised, her breath fanning the side of their neck. The god let out a small whine, though she wasn’t sure if it was a response to her words or just her voice— she’d just have to do more to get out of this situation.

Ignoring the absolute wrongness of the sticky sensation connecting the two, Shinigami began pressing kisses all over Yaoshi’s face, slow yet clearly deliberate. “You took it so well,” she kissed their forehead. “And I love how your body fared against mine,” she kissed their nose. “But while I’m happy and satisfied, you need to let go,” she kissed both of their cheeks. “It’s okay, I’m not going to leave you.” 

Shinigami finally kissed Yaoshi on the lips, leaning back to give one small, wonky smile. “Besides, I’m much more endearing as myself, right? After all, I doubt you can hear my wack-ass ideas if you absorbed me.” 

Externally, she awaited with bated breath for Yaoshi’s response, if any at all.

Internally, she was creating her will on the chance that all her effort was for nothing.

She stared at the aeon’s face, looking for any change that would spell either her saving grace or her doom. It was only when Shinigami was placing notable emphasis for Silver Wolf to delete her internet browser history that Yaoshi’s expression subtly changed: Shinigami pressed her lips together in intense anticipation as the god’s gaze flickered to her, their lips shrinking into a small line.

And then, she finally felt that glue-like substance recede back, the many arms detangling from her.

Shinigami heaved in relief, practically collapsing on Yaoshi. “Don’t scare me like that,” she bemoaned breathlessly, turning her head to the side to squish her cheek against their chest, making sure not to accidentally stab them with her wooden antlers. “Thought I was actually gonna die.”

She waited for the usual rebuttal, but Yaoshi was uncharacteristically silent. She rose a brow but once she figured out that the deity wasn’t going to say anything, Shinigami slowly got up and slid herself out of them. She winced at the action, still a bit sensitive to touch, but her pain quickly transformed into awe as she saw the white goo— her sperm— ooze out of Yaoshi’s hole, her eyes transfixed at the mesmerizing sight. She lightly grabbed their inner thigh, earning a small murmur from the recipient as she massaged the skin, and used her other hand to put pressure on their stomach— even more cum spurt out. “Pretty,” Shinigami whispered, almost like worship.

She very soon snapped out of it: no, I gotta focus— this next part is practically the most important! Turning towards the side, she crawled over to where she had abandoned her bag and wrapped the long strap around her body, deciding to not bother with clothes until later. Shinigami then placed her attention back to Yaoshi: “Can you make yourself float? Or at least decrease your weight?”

”…Yes.” With that small reply, Yaoshi started to levitate, just enough for Shinigami to then come over, wrap her arms about them and pulled them into a bridal carry, an effort that usually would have been for naught for Shinigami’s weak noodle arms. Without any further delay, she stood up— almost stumbling with how sore her body was— and headed for the waterfall nearby.

If anyone saw them, they’d probably think it was a hilarious, jarring sight: Yaoshi was so tall compared to her, the upper half of their figure pretty much wrapped around Shinigami’s chest and neck, and their chin propped on top of hers and their big antlers narrowly avoiding anything. Considering that there wasn’t anybody, Shinigami didn’t really care about their positions.

When they got to the waterfall— loud yet quaint, with trees and colorful flowers surrounding the water— Shinigami crouched near a shallow area with rocks large enough to be used as back rests and carefully placed the god down. After that, she placed down her bag, got out the body wash and shampoo, and wordlessly began washing them. Sure, Yaoshi didn’t need to be coddled, but she figured this was the least she could do for letting her be the dominant one tonight.

The aeon in question didn’t say anything, but their staring was very loud— to the point that Shinigami nervousness was once again going haywire. What the hell do you want from me?! It took all of her strength, whatever left she had, to press her lips together and not scream at them— not that it would have worked: they were the one with the mind link after all, not her. It was only when she was lathering up the soap on their long, luscious blond hair that they finally spoke up. 

“What an extraordinary experience,” Yaoshi let out, the hint of awe in their tone surprising Shinigami. The deity cupped their cheek with a slender hand and let out a wistful sigh. “I have not had attained such amount of pleasure since I entangled with Tayzzyronth.”

”I— Wha—“ Shinigami stammered, almost dropping the aeon’s wet hair in shock. “Why are you sounding like some infatuated maiden???” And when did that happen? Didn’t you not appear in the Swarm Disaster? 

They let out an amused chirp. ”Why would I not be infatuated?” Yaoshi mused, inching closer. Shinigami tensed, but didn’t stop them from reaching out and placing a hand under her chin, propping it up before their face. “You, my dear emanator, are a very, very captivating being.”

“…Even if I literally pounded you into oblivion?”

She was then pulled into a smothering yet not suffocating— not like before— embrace, hands all over her body. “Even more than such things.” Yaoshi cooed all too eagerly. 

And that— Shinigami felt a mental weight lift off her shoulders. “I… okay,” she said weakly, slouching and leaning against them. She noticed how Yaoshi’s other hands were gathering her supplies and now using it on her, which was, uh, nice. “To be honest, I thought you were mad at me.”

”No, no, not at all.” Yaoshi pressed a small kiss on the top of her head, rather simple compared to all the other acts they’ve done, but somehow that small sweetness affected her more than it should have. “I thoroughly enjoyed the our intimate intercourse.”

Shinigami felt her cheeks flush, embarrassment coiling inside of her. “…Right,” she reluctantly mumbled. That being said, she felt more relieved out of anything: she didn’t fuck over her bond with her (forced) god. She pushed away her thoughts, lowering her head when Yaoshi dropped multiple cupfuls of water to wash down the soap out of her hair. “So… that absorption thing,” Shinigami started, brows creasing at the memory. “Do you… have you done that before?”

”Yes, whenever my subjects desire to ascend from their mortal vessel by becoming one with me. However, this instance was a… as ashamed as I am to admit it, a mishap.” The aeon’s eyes all over their nude body were all directed towards her. “Rest assured, my little emanator, the method of how your body will eventually become mine differs… that is, unless you want it so.”

”Nope. No. Never.”

Yaoshi smiled at that, not pointing out that they knew from their mental link that Shinigami actually found the act just the tiniest attractive. Just a bit. Not enough to actually go through it.

When they were all cleaned up, the two sat next to each other, relishing the sounds of nature and water rushing for a moment. “I meant what I said back then,” Shinigami confessed in a quiet manner eventually, pulling her knees up to rest her chin on (cautiously avoiding the genital that was still on her)— it might have even gotten unnoticed had Yaoshi not being an extraterrestrial deity or had their mental link. “When I said I enjoyed it.”

As awkward and rocky the beginning of their excursion was, she couldn’t deny that she actually liked it. 

“Would you wish to indulge in the activity once again?”

”No,” Shinigami bluntly refuted. “Well, not in a while.” She huffed, arching her back as she stretched her sore body. “My body hurts, I’m tired.” Her body then slouched and returned to its previous position, Shinigami avoiding Yaoshi’s intense yet adoring gaze. “I just… never thought I’d ever have sex? Or bonded enough with someone to do so.” Well, I also never thought I’d have friends again, or find a purpose, or feel like I belong— but then Lune and then later on the Stellaron Hunters happened. So, uh, I guess that doesn’t mean anything. “I guess because I was so shit at socializing— I still am, actually— that this all felt like a pipe dream.”

”If you would desire it so, I would fulfill all of your dreams,” Yaoshi replied as casually as one would regarding the weather, but Shinigami knew that there was nothing casual about it: as an aeon, they would do just about anything to achieve the pinnacle of the Abundance. 

“That’s nice,” Shinigami settled on, because how would one properly respond to that? She shook her head. “But thanks. Really.” She titled her head to press her cheek against her knees. “You’re already fulfilling one thing and keeping me company when I die.”

”You will not die.” She reeled back and almost toppled over by how much Yaoshi leaned towards her, green eyes and sclera wide and piercing. 

”When you take my body— same thing.” Shinigami shot back briskly: when the time comes and her body becomes Yaoshi’s vessel, her mind would be gone and as such, it would pretty much be an equivalent to death. She shoved them away lightly, narrowing her gaze when they just grabbed their wrist and held it at their chest. At the sight— and at how… seriously they were taking her words compared to before, how they seemed almost… vulnerable, a tender vulnerable that was different from when they were in sub space— she sighed. 

“Yaoshi,” she called out, slowly maneuvering her hand away from their chest and out of their grasp— only to then hold their hand and pull it towards her. They let her, watched silently as she pulled another of their hand towards the space between them. “Even if I was forced into the contract, I will see it to the very end,” Shinigami claimed, tightening her grasp on the fair skin, though not enough to hurt (not that she could hurt them, but still). Her head craned up at her aeon, and the ends of her lips quirked up. “It’s the least I can do as thanks for keeping me company.” 

Thank you for giving me a second life to live.

Thank you for letting me experience something new.

Thank you for giving me the chance to regret the things I’ve done, even if I’ll forever drown in them.

Thank you for forcing me to get up when all I wanted to do was give up.

Thank you.

”…My dear emanator, there is no need for gratitude for such things,” Yaoshi responded softly. Shinigami doubted that they actually were swayed by her, but it seemed that they realized that she wasn’t going to budge on this matter— at least not now. The aeon let out a hum, eyes half-lidded in contemplation, before their head tilted towards the side. “However, if that will satisfy you, then perhaps I should indulge myself.”

Shinigami rose a brow at their words, but didn’t reply in time as the deity then moved a hand and gestured towards her. At first, nothing happened, but then she suddenly felt a strange, almost bubbly sensation on her pelvis. Her head darted downwards and her legs parted just in time to see her cock detach from her and fall into the water with a loud splat. Her eyes bulged.

“My— my dick fell off—“

Yaoshi scooped it out out of the water unceremoniously before she could scream bloody murder and, to her utter horror (and arousal), raised it to their face, their tongue stretching out to lick a long stripe up the rod’s base and to the tip. The deity’s facial features were laced with a wide, alluring smile and their main eyes crinkled into shapes like crescent moons. ”I shall surely use this as a reminder of our wondrous lovemaking.”

”Yaoshi!!!”