Chapter Text
[ Aether has added Childe, and 3 others to the chat. ]
[ Aether has renamed the chat to Eat Your Heart Out club!. ]
Aether: Helloo!! (≧∇≦)/
Gaming: Hi Aether! What's this for?
Lyney: Hello, Aether. To what do I owe the pleasure?
Childe: LYNEY?
Lyney: Master Childe?
Sethos: Woah, what's with the new chat?
Aether: Hi guys :D
Aether: It has come to my attention that we are all crushing on people that happen to be either emotionally unavailable, an asshole, or just don't talk! So I'm making this GC to give us all a place to talk about it!! ٩( ᐛ )و
Sethos: Scara isn't an asshole.
Lyney: Pardon?
Childe: sethos or whatever ur name is... yea he's an asshole
Sethos: Hold on, aren't you, like friends??
Childe: Friends is a stretch
Sethos: He's nice I promise :(
Lyney: I've known that man for my entire life and... No, he's really not..
Gaming: thanks for making me feel less alone, aeth but uhhh...
Aether: I'm sure Lyney doesn't mind! ✧*｡٩(๑˙╰╯˙๑)و✧*｡
Lyney: Mind what? 🤨
Gaming: NOTHING :D NICE TO MEET YOU MR. LYNEY
Lyney: Aren't we the same age? There's no need for honorifics, ami.
Sethos: lol Mr. Childe likes someone??
Childe: Nonono lets not turn this on me
Gaming: actually yeah who DOES mr. Tartaglia like?
Childe: HEY SHUT IT BEFORE I SPILL YOUR CRUSH TO LYNEY
Gaming: YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T TELL ANYONE
Lyney: Why are you so afraid of what I think of your crush?
Aether: OKAY! SO HERE'S THE THING: Lyney likes Kinich from the Natlan Wing—The one that looks like an emo version of our event assembly leader, Ajaw. (≡^∇^≡)
Lyney: WH-
Lyney: AETHER!!
Gaming: ohshit
Sethos: So this is basically a wingman club?? lol
Lyney: IS THIS BECAUSE I STOLE LUMINE'S JOLLYRANCHERS AND BLAMED IT ON YOU?
Aether: Σ(゜゜)
Aether: THAT WAS YOU??? I THOUGHT FOR SURE IT WAS PAIMON
Childe: Okay let's calm down
Lyney: I AM VERY CALM.
Childe: .
Childe: Anyway. Go ahead, Aether.
Aether: Right! Sethos has a crush on Scaramouche of the Sumeru Wing (why is he in the sumeru wing if his mother and sister work in the inazuman wing again??), Childe has a thing for Mr. Diluc from the Mondstadt Wing, and Gaming has a crush on Freminet from the Fontaine Wing! So we're all in a similar boat and I think we can all help each other!! (◍•ᴗ•◍)
Sethos: Scara's estranged from his mom and sister, that's why
Aether: OH RIGHT thank youu o(〃＾▽＾〃)o
Lyney: .
Lyney: Say what.
Gaming: Please don't kill me
Lyney: My baby brother... has an admirer?? 🥹🥹
Aether: Unfortunately. (I don't forgive you for blaming me for eating those jollyranchers btw.) （-""-；)
Lyney: Okay, first of all.
Sethos: Childe has a crush on Mr. Ragvindr??
Aether: Diluc* (๑°꒵°๑)
Gaming: I'm scared please don't send Fatui to my house
Lyney: Oh, don't worry, I don't control any troops.
Lyney: Besides, we're all friends of Aether right? I think we all deserve to know.
Sethos: Know what?
Aether: AJSJFILW#+(#) Σ(ﾟДﾟ；)
Aether: LYNEY
Lyney: Aether is rather fond of that... charming emo boy from the Liyue Wing.
Lyney: The pretty one with gold eyes.
Aether: LYNEY STOP IM SORRY
Aether: ゜・．（ｉДｉ）｡：ﾟ
Childe: Ohh.
Childe: OH. CIAO???
Sethos: Who the hell is Ciao??
Childe: XIAO
Childe: FUCK ME STUPID AUTOCORRECT IS DUMB
Sethos: .
Gaming: .
Lyney: .
Aether: .
Sethos: So anyway-
Sethos: Mr. Childe isn't into Mr. Zhongli? I honestly thought they were together..
Aether: no mr. zhongli is dating m. neuvillette
Childe: Why does everyone say that...
Sethos: HE'S DATING WHO???
Lyney: Aether, why do you have so much tea? And why have I never heard of this?? 😭
Aether: srry bae (◞ ‸ ◟ㆀ)
Aether: lumine is the one who tells me evrythng
Gaming: Wait really? I thought Mr. Zhongli had a wife.
Aether: there's a reason thats past tense（☆＞u＜）
Gaming: ?
Sethos: because its English?
Childe: no its cuz mrs. guizhong is dead
Sethos: OH
Lyney: Oh!
Gaming: Damn, now I have to pay for Xingqiu's lunch because of a bet...
Childe: You made bets on my relationship???
Sethos: Honestly, who didn't?
Lyney: Me
Aether: stfu its magical how easily you can lie to a man 凸(-""-；)
Lyney: OKAY, I'M SORRY ABOUT THE JOLLYRANCHERS.
Lyney: Now can yuo please hook me up w a date?? 😭
Aether: I will set you up with Ajaw (•ˋ _ ˊ•)
Lyney: So mean...
Gaming: I have a friend in the Natlan wing! I'm not sure if she's friends with Kinich, but I can ask if you want?
Lyney: YES PLEASE.
Lyney: I'M GETTING DESPERATE HERE.
Lyney: LYNETTE HAS BEEN MAKING FUN OF ME FOR MONTHS.
Aether: i cant even ask for help bc xiao doesn't have friends (´-ω-｀)))。。
Childe: Damn
Sethos: DAMN.
Lyney: You should see the atrocities that come out of aethers mouth when he talks about him.
Sethos: bet. lets all sit together at lunch.
Childe: It's a bit weird for a teacher to be having lunch with their students no?
Sethos: NONE of us are your students. I think you're fine.
Lyney: Master Childe has an office we could all have lunch at?
Childe: Hell no. That's weird as hell. I'm not trying to get fired. 😭
Childe: I'll just sit the lunch out, I have plans with Kaeya anyway.
Lyney: Okay.
Lyney: By the way, Gaming, since you'll help me out—I can bring Freminet around too when we hang out, so you two can chat.
Gaming: Oh! That'd be nice...
Aether: Awe, see? You're already making progress on your relationships!!
Sethos: does anyone have any ideas on how i can get closer to scara
Lyney: Don't.
Childe: Don't bother.
Sethos: :(
Aether: ANYWAY!! THIS IS A CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION!!
Lyney: Oh no.
[ Aether has changed Lyney's nickname to MagicPixel. ]
[ Aether has changed Gaming's nickname to LionFish. ]
[ Aether has changed Childe's nickname to Fire-Water. ]
[ Aether has changed Sethos's nickname to LotusBee. ]
LotusBee: LotusBee?
Fire-Water: Is this because i get drunk and diluc is a bartender?
LionFish: these are actually pretty cute,,
MagicPixel: Hey, where's yours?
Aether: gotta think abt that one
MagicPixel: Give me admin or I tell Lumine you ate her cheerios
Aether: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT....
MagicPixel: Lynette asked me to buy cheerios earlier since they ran out at your place.
MagicPixel: Now hand it over, twink.
Aether: Okay but you can't unadd me as admin..
[ Aether added MagicPixel as a group administrator. ]
MagicPixel: Thank.
[ MagicPixel has changed Aether's nickname to EternalGold. ]
EternalGold: .
EternalGold: Honest to god, I thought you were gonna call xiao emo
MagicPixel: He is, but we have the same taste in men, so.
EternalGold: fair enough (￣∇￣)
LionFish: Actually that's cute! Because Xiao has gold eyes and aether has gold hair :000
MagicPixel: Exactly! See? I can be nice.
EternalGold: still doesn't change the fact that yuor hair look like a wig
MagicPixel: IT DOES NOT.
LotusBee: IT'S NOT A WIG?? 😭😭
MagicPixel: OH MY GOD. IS MY HAIRLINE THAT BAD?
Fire-Water: Honestly I thought you were 💀
MagicPixel: I'M
MagicPixel: I'm going to bed. （-""-；)
LotusBee: Yeah, I gotta dip too. Sorry gays, I have club stuff to deal with.
EternalGold: It's okay!! Take care!! (*・ω・*)b♪