Chapter Text
True sleep was elusive, but somewhere in the crestfallen aftermath, Sebastian had managed to doze a bit as he curled next to Leo on their bed in the undercroft. He hadn’t said anything about the damage that Sebastian had done to himself or asked for an explanation. All he did was turn his back, keeping himself occupied as Sebastian wrapped the weeping cut with a wide linen bandage. A part of him was grateful for that, but another part felt just as wounded at the silence as it was relieved.
Leo had taken little time at all to fall asleep after they’d both carefully cleaned up, washing twice with the powerful lye soap that the healer had given them just to be certain they were both safe from the dangers of the disease. Sebastian had been happy to hold him then, grateful just to have him in his arms for whatever time he could before something else from the outside world could interfere again. It was quiet and peaceful in a way that he was certain they would never know again together. So much of the past couple of hours had been softer. Now, he was here, awake and lying on his back, watching Leo sleep and smiling at the small noises he made between breaths. It was almost snoring, but not quite, but entirely adorable and melted his heart just a little more.
So much was uncertain, but Sebastian loved him. He could do anything for him. He wanted him. He wanted him more than anything else. More than his whiskey, the skull sugar, or Mirassan. He wanted Leo more than he wanted all of those things combined and then multiplied. If he could have that again, he could do almost anything.
A flash of heat burned across Sebastian’s skin at the memory of them only a couple of hours ago; Leo riding his lap, his quickened breath, the way he kissed him. . . The sharp sting of agony still swimming in his blood leaped into his throat. Having been held at the edge of passion for so long and then having it snatched away so quickly to leave him wanting made him ache all over again. His hips wiggled a little under the blankets, and he dropped a hand under the covers to palm over himself. Clamping his teeth down over his bottom lip to suppress a soft hum, his breath sped, and his body arched as he lifted his other hand to dig his fingers into the pillow behind his head.
It had been a handful of weeks since Sebastian tried to have himself off in the privacy of his room in the Grand Cathedral, unable to make it work for the torrent of bitter thoughts that ravaged his mind. But maybe, with Leo here to focus on instead of imagining him, it could be easier. He would have to be silent so as not to wake him, he reminded himself as his mouth fell open and his heavy breath poured out of him. He could do that, though, and his thighs tensed as he unfastened one side of his trouser fly, slipping his hand in to find his cock already weeping with precum in anticipation.
Sebastian gritted his teeth and swallowed a snarling grunt as he slid his thumb to spread the slick over his foreskin and started to pump his fist over himself slowly, letting his eyes trace Leo’s face, his soft pale skin, and the outline of his lips. He loved the curve of his neck, the disheveled golden curls framing his features, and the slope of his exposed shoulder peeking out from under the edge of the blankets. He was just as beautiful as the day they’d met in the back alley near the pier. He’d grown into his long, sharp ears, and his face had filled out as he grew into the man he was now, but he was everything Sebastian still wanted and more.
Lingering on his lips again, Sebastian’s hand moved faster, letting himself remember the sound of Leo’s breathless moans, the small, sharp gasps as his body curved into him, and the feeling of his chest rising and falling under his fingertips. He let his eyes flutter closed for a moment as a twist of pleasured pain worked a knot into his brow, opening again to fix on his love lying next to him in the bed. Loving the way his hair had felt against his neck as his lips burned against Sebastian’s collarbones made his pulse spike higher, and he dared to reach for him. Gently pushing one of the curls at his temple aside to clear his face a little more for him to see, he let his fingertips catch over the very edges of his hair, his longing for him burning itself deeper into his heaving chest.
Maker, how much he wanted him! Even if he couldn’t have him, Sebastian could have this. Better this than what had been. Better this than Mirassan could ever hope to be. Even if they could never have proper sex again, this was better than the icy absence. Better than. . .
Leo suddenly shifted, a low hum and something in mumbled Orlesian leaving his lips as he rolled onto his back. Sebastian froze, dread dumping into his blood as he held his breath and his cock twitched in his still hand. What would Leo do if he woke up to find him jerking himself into oblivion as he stared at him like this? Would he scowl and chastise him? Would he smile and give him a kiss? Would he tell him to stop or leave? Would he reach over and help? There was no way to know.
The Leo he had loved six months ago would probably think this was incredibly sexy, smirk at him, and find his favorite spot between his legs under the covers while he sucked him off, swallowed his cum, then worked him up again just for fun. But that was Leo from six months ago, and he didn’t exist anymore. That man had died a brutal and horrific death on the docks, and this new, harder, and colder Leo had taken his place. What would he do?
What are you doing?
You sick fuck.
What the fuck are you doing?
Cringing and biting back his protests, Sebastian snapped his hand back out and buttoned his fly, dropping his hand from the pillow to cover over his eyes. He couldn’t do it. He might be able to later, but he couldn’t do it now. He’d have to talk to Leo and see if this sort of thing bothered him or not before he could risk waking him in such a state. He’d tried too hard to breach the wall between them and leap the impossibly wide gap to fall back into his arms. There was no guarantee he’d be able to hold on to silence at his peak, and he’d have to find something to catch and do away with his cum at the end instead of jerking it into the sheets.
Until he had a better plan, it was too dangerous to continue. Sebastian wouldn’t risk the shaky bits that they had left between them for something like this. I just wasn’t worth it. No matter how much he wanted to, it just wasn’t worth the risk.
Hating himself and trying to ignore the insistence in his heated blood, Sebastian silently sat and draped his legs off the side of the bed, reached for his stockings and boots, and started to pull them back on. He needed to get out of here before his idiocy took hold of him again. He needed the cold air, a stiff drink, and maybe a round or two of Wicked Grace. He couldn’t go to the Swan, which was also far too dangerous to approach, but he knew there was a bar that was well stocked enough in the inn just up at the edge of the market district. Nobody knew him there either, so he could slip in anonymously, have a few drinks, and beat one or two of the traveling merchants at a few rounds of cards. Then, with the steam fully blown off, he could make his way back up to the Grand Cathedral just after the midnight bells.
It was as good a plan as any, and Sebastian dressed quickly and settled his cloak over his shoulders. Then, he stopped for a moment and gazed back down at Leo, still sleeping adorably, unconsciously shuffling in bed to sprawl out now that he had more room. Smiling to himself, Sebastian stooped over and laid a kiss on his eyebrow ever so gently and pulled back.
“I love you,” he whispered softly over his temple.
“Hmmmr, love you too. . . mon cher,” Leo muttered, the words giving way to a loud and proper snore.
It eased Sebastian’s heart that even while he slept, Leo knew that he was here and had the genuine trust to say he loved him back. He wondered if he was dreaming of him, perhaps even dreaming of their better days as he wandered the Fade in his dreams. If that was the case, maybe there was hope that Sebastian could as well tonight, and letting that hope fuel him, he turned away and slid out from their room, gently closing the door behind him.
* * *
Sebastian grinned as the tall, black Rivaini man sitting directly across from him at the table scowled a little harder, huffed, and folded his hand. He’d been almost certain the man was cheating when his opponent had swept the fourth round in a row with brutality, invoking the blessings of the sea for his good fortunes. From there, Sebastian had shifted his cards a little lower and to the left, noting out of his periphery that the slender woman at the bar behind him shifted seats and ordered another round of cheap, spiced rum. Two rounds later, he’d shifted again, and the woman moved again soon after, validating his suspicions.
The two of them were communicating somehow---likely through a form of telepathy transmitted via magic that he’d never encountered before. He wasn’t about to call either of them out on it, though. On top of being done in poor taste, it could expose either of them for being an apostate in the middle of a game, and it would be rude and unseemly for Sebastian to make a fuss on his first visit to the inn. If he was going to come here more often instead of frequenting the Black Swan, where he risked running into the bane of his existence, he needed to show good sportsmanship and be gracious.
But that didn’t mean he had to lose on purpose either.
Sebastian leaned back over his chair to kindly call over the serving wench and asked her politely for a third glass of whiskey, letting his eyes flicker to the woman as he smiled. She smiled graciously back, lifting her drink and nodding her head. The action served two purposes. The first was to make sure that she knew that he was onto her and their schemes to rob him and the other man still at their table completely blind. The second was to make a mental note of just how far the bar extended so that he could adjust his posture accordingly to block her from being able to peer over his shoulder to see his hand at all.
When his drink arrived at the table, he winked at the Rivaini man and shot it back in a single gulp, setting the glass back down on the table empty, and letting out a deep sigh as he tossed another silver from his purse out onto the table between them. The man continued his genial smile, though it didn’t quite make it all the way back up to his eyes this time, and he spent a hair’s breadth longer in assessing his cards than he had been. Then he matched the silver, the third man dropped out of the game completely, and Sebastian called the hand, winning the round.
It was clear to him after that why the two merchants had been cheating in the first place. His opponent was middling at best with his cards, and while it was a cheating of its own kind, Sebastian’s ability to count what had been played and what hadn’t sharpened as his stupor settled into his brain. Once more, his uncanny ability for rote memorization and a memory so vivid that he could paint pictures by its references had earned him boons and praise. He’d even had a little fun with the scenario by flashing his cards up for an instant every now and again to let the woman behind him try to have a glance before pulling them back down out of her sight. Each time, the Rivaini’s eyes narrowed for a flicker of a second, then he relaxed again just as fast as they continued to play.
He purposefully threw a round here or there to cover, as the others should have done instead of showboating, but at the end of the vigorous match, Sebastian swept the table one last time and let out a small victorious hum.
“I have not been beaten so soundly in a very long time,” the tall black man grunted and sighed deeply as he stood. “I would buy you a drink to toast your win at the bar, but I am afraid that you have all but cleared my pockets.”
“No need,” Sebastian chuckled softly, standing from the table and tossing two silvers from his pile back to his opponent. “You played well, and losers often need the comfort of a good drink afterward more than the victors.”
“I played like shit,” the man smirked knowingly up at him as he gathered the silver and collected himself, “and I think you know why.”
“Oh, yes,” he smirked back. “Seen a few things in the slums that mark it when a man’s luck is too good to be gifted by the Maker or the sea. Though I’d recommend that you not try it again here. The Templars are always out for blood in their hunt for Val Royeaux’s infamous renegade apostate.”
“I see,” the man hummed, shooting a glance over his shoulder as the woman he’d seen at the bar circled behind Sebastian and slid to his side. “Good of you to warn us.”
“Tempey, I see you made a friend,” the woman cooed softly, draping one arm over his shoulder. “Too bad we’re putting out from port in the morning. Perhaps we’ll meet again in our next passage.”
“Perhaps,” Sebastian smiled. “Until then, safe travels.”
“To you as well,” the tall, black man replied.
The two shuffled off, pressing their way up to the room they’d likely rented for the night, and Sebastian couldn’t help but feel a slight sting that he’d lost a perfectly good distraction as he sidled over the bar and took a seat. The fog from the whiskey burning in his brain was pleasant, but not enough to keep his mind from wandering back to the string of events that had brought him here, and he longed for something more to keep the memory of them at bay. In the usual turn that he hated, the liquor made his face flush and his body feel warmer than it should be.
If he hadn’t promised not to take it anymore, this would be the perfect time to slide a swipe of skull sugar into his mouth to drive away the ache and resettle himself. But he had given his word and dumped what he had left of the bit he carried on him into the slushy snow just outside of the Chantry as he left. He regretted it almost as much as he regretted almost everything that had happened from the moment he set down Callum’s letter to this very moment.
What an idiot.
What a dafty warmer.
You should know better.
You know that you can’t stop.
It was stupid to think you could.
You’re weak
You have no dignity in your station.
No pride in yourself.
You have nothing.
Just an empty glass and empty, dry humping for the rest of your life.
They got what they all wanted from you after all.
Poverty and chastity.
What a cruel joke.
Allowing himself another drink, Sebastian paid quickly and worked his way toward the main door, trying to banish the unproductive trail of thoughts as they stalked him. If he went back to the Grand Cathedral a little early, maybe he could just be alone to sort through his thoughts in peace. He could. . .
“They’ve been cheating for three days now while they’ve waited for their ship,” a bright, foreign voice caught him as he neared the door. “You sure showed ‘em.”
Sebastian stopped in place, turning slightly to meet the warm brown eyes of the young man standing behind the welcomer’s desk near the entrance to the inn, those dark eyes holding his attention completely. He was leaning forward, chin poised on his hand and his elbow resting on the desk, his hair fiery, golden red and trimmed neatly and short with a longer flash falling over his brow. His smile was crooked and charming, and he tilted his head ever so slightly, inviting a reply and pulling Sebastian’s feet toward him as he repaid him with a smirk.
“If you noticed, why not give ‘em the boot?” Sebastian crossed his arms and pressed his back into the edge of the desktop, peering down at the welcomer with a sly smile. “You could at least warn folks not to play with ‘em.”
“Boss says it’s bad for business to go calling out our best customers,” he replied with a sigh. “And it’s not like you flipped the table at them. No harm, no foul.”
He’s very handsome.
Handsome enough to flirt with, certainly.
That’s practically harmless.
I never made a promise not to.
It’s no sin to appreciate something so appealing.
And he called me over first.
It’d be rude to ignore him.
Right?
Practically harmless.
“You’re not from around here, are you?” His smirk widened.
“Ferelden,” he straightened a little, turning and resting his elbows on the desk as he leaned back.
“I thought the Fereldens hated Orlais,” Sebastian scanned the young man’s face, liking his soft features and long eyelashes a bit too much.
“We do,” he chuckled, his light voice wrapping around the sound enticingly. “But our gold is the same color, and the silver’s just as good for those willing to look past the accent.”
“I see,” he chuckled back. “Well, for whatever it may be worth to you, I like your accent,” Sebastian lowered his voice, looking the young man intensely in the eyes, “I like it very much.”
The young man’s face flushed, an adorable pink rising over his creamy white skin. It was so delicious that it made his skin tingle, the fog of the whiskey settled a little deeper, and his mind raced.
Sebastian, no.
Sebastian, yes.
This is unwise and you know it.
But what harm could it be?
Leo said no!
Leo said no for Mirassan.
You know what he meant.
Does it really matter?
If he could see you, he would hate you forever.
He already does.
No he doesn’t. You’re just looking for a reason to be stupid and you know it.
I’m already stupid. Who cares? It’s not like he’ll ever know. I would be just this one last time. We can have just one last time.
You know better.
Of course I do. But that’s not going to stop us, is it?
You don’t deserve him.
No. I don’t.
But that’s not going to stop us.
Is it?
“If it’s gold you’re looking for, I happen to have just won a tidy bit,” Sebastian dropped his arms from his chest and turned a little more fully to meet the young man’s dark brown eyes and flushed, pink cheeks. “In the course, I’ve lost my entertainment, but I’d be happy to pay you for some of your time if you’d like to entertain me instead.”
The young man’s eyes snapped wider, and his face flushed hotter. He broke from Sebastian’s to scan the room quickly, snapped back, and his expression shifted into a mix of concern and disbelief.
“I can’t,” he hissed softly. “The innkeeper would be cross if I slipped away from my spot.”
That’s not a no.
“Six sovereigns,” Sebastian grinned. “Give him one or two, and he’ll barely care that you were gone. No one has come in for over an hour. You won’t be missed.”
The welcomer chewed his bottom lip a little harder, he scanned the room again, and the concern on his face deepened.
“And how would you want me to. . . entertain you, exactly?” He asked in a deep whisper. “Do you mean. . .?”
Maker!
He’s never been solicited, has he?
He doesn’t seem to hate it, though.
If he did, he wouldn’t be considering it.
“Well, I could start with stealing a taste of that stunning mouth.” Sebastian dropped his gaze to the young man’s lips, sinking onto his elbows to press a little closer. “We can see what happens from there. Maker willing, it’ll be good for both of us.”
See? I can be charitable.
The welcomer’s dark brown eyes widened, his expression lifting in surprise, and his lip slipping out from between his teeth. He scanned the room one more time, his eyes catching for a moment on the bar as the wench turned her back, starting into some chore or another that Sebastian cared about far less than he did his current pursuit.
“Eight,” the young man insisted, a smirk pulling up at the corner of his mouth.
Excellent.
“Done,” Sebastian agreed solidly.
Nodding in his agreement, the young man’s hand landed on the one Sebastian had placed over the desk, and he tugged him along as he lifted the sideboard and started down the short hallway just behind it. Sebastian didn’t fight or pause, following happily as expected, as the thrill of the chase shoved aside the war in his thoughts. It was too late to stop now---not that he was going to anyway---and excitement filled him again for the third time that evening.
Better make this good.
This is the last time.
Make it fucking count!
Breath racing softly as the young man whipped them both inside a small room at the end of the hallway, he dropped his hand, turning around to take the space around them in as he locked the door behind them. It was a storage room, spacious and open, with a handful of barrels and crates neatly stacked against the walls in rows. As far as he could see, there were no other doors, making it far less likely that they would be interrupted. It was the perfect spot for something quick, hard, and dirty.
With the bolt of the door securely locked into place, the young man turned to face him, his cheeks still nearly as red as his hair, and Sebastian smirked darkly, undoing the tie of his cloak and setting it aside to drape over the top of one of the barrels nearby. His hands found a solid anchor on the other man’s waist as he drew closer, something unspoken of his concern still flickering in his deep brown eyes as they searched his face. He reached up, gently sliding his fingers under Sebastian’s jaw and his eyes softly closing as he leaned in to kiss him.
A slight tremor twitched through his bottom lip, and he seemed reluctant as his breath washed over Sebastian’s cheek. It was sweet and endearing, but he wasn’t here for sweet and endearing, and the hunger for more urged him on in search of what he truly wanted. Circling his waist to tug him closer, his other hand pressed into the young man’s hair, cradling the back of his head to keep his lips tightly fixed to his own. The smallest sound of protest gave way to a buzzing murmur of approval, and he clung to the back of Sebastian’s shoulders as he pressed him back, ravaging his mouth with reckless greed.
The other man moved clumsily at first, and he nearly pulled away entirely as Sebastian swept his tongue over his bottom lip, forging into his mouth, and stroking his tongue with a low groan. He let him go for a breath as his back found the nearest wall, pulling away just enough to see the hot burning flash that had grown over his pale face. His dark brown eyes were hazy and half-lidded as he panted, holding there and looking all too inviting, flushed, and unraveling more quickly than expected.
Chuckling darkly and assuring him with a nod, Sebastian redoubled his efforts, met with growing pride as the young welcomer opened wider for him, reflecting back his intensity with stabilizing enthusiasm. His hands grew braver as well, dropping from Sebastian’s shoulders to travel down and cradle the dip at his lower back before traveling back up, and pulling him tighter. Allowing his self-loathing and pain to fade and drop out of his mind with every other inhibition left, he dropped a hand between them, finding and stroking the other man’s hard cock with a single, slow motion.
A loud gasp shot up from his throat, and he broke from Sebastian’s mouth as his head curled back, his hands tightened at his sides, and his breath stuttered over his lips. Taking the momentum with vigor, Sebastian stroked him again, feeling himself hard as well against the back of his hand, and curled his fingers into the young man’s bright red hair. He pulled back his head a little more, calling out another needy groan as he dragged his mouth up the center of his throat, pressed a hard kiss to the bottom of his chin, and nipped at his bottom lip. Starting into another round of exploration of the other man’s amazing mouth, he shifted, spreading his legs a little wider as he redirected his attention to unfastening the wide, flat buckle on his belt.
Both hands snapped from his sides to grip his wrist, stopping him just as the strap slid free of the belt, and the other man pulled away, a flash of fear moving over his face. Sebastian paused, confused by the strange mix of emotions playing out between them as the young man’s shoulders heaved, part of him still begging for them to continue even as his hands shook.
“Will---will it hurt?” The welcomer huffed, barely making the words audible through his kiss-swollen lips.
“What?” Sebastian chuckled incredulously.
“When you. . . I’m assuming that you want. . .” The young man struggled, not quite able to put the sentence together. “And when you do, will it hurt?”
OH!
Oh.
Oh, fuck.
Well, shit.
“You’re not a virgin, are you?” Sebastian pressed, considering whether or not the answer actually mattered so much as it shifted his plans.
“Of course not!” The other man scowled defensively, his blush deepening. “I’ve had. . . women before.”
“But never a man,” he smiled lopsidedly. “Right?”
The other man bit his bottom lip again, the question taking up enough of a pause between them to answer for him even as it was followed by a slow nod. Why would he have agreed to this if he didn’t know what he was getting into? He must have thought far enough ahead to know it was a possibility. He wouldn’t be asking now if he hadn’t. Even then, he’d agreed. Whether purely for the money---a considerable amount---or for the chance to see some sort of fantasy to its fruition, this was something that he must have wanted to try at least. Right?
“Yes. The first time often hurts,” Sebastian answered severely, the memory of his first passing into his mind and then out again just as quickly. “But I will make it as kind as I can.”
He saw the offer roll around behind the welcomer’s eyes, his consideration slowly coming together again as he nodded, swallowed hard, and pressed forward urgently to kiss Sebastian again. Given the sharp turn of events, he slowed, but only long enough to plan out the next steps with more thought than he had when they’d first set foot in the room. There was something of an obligation to the frantic freefall now. He’d never been in the situation of experience before, and giving his word to be kind as he broke someone else in was wearing a hole in the otherwise pleasant hum of alcohol and greed fueling his motivations. Whether he was capable or not of kindness at all was hard to say, let alone in the current situation.
But that’s not going to stop us.
Is it?
Deciding it would at least be a somewhat kinder approach than simply turning him belly over and fucking him raw as he’d planned to, Sebastian slipped away from the young man’s lips as he finished the task of loosening his trousers enough to work him free. Then, giving him a small peck on the chin, he sank to his knees, cupped his tongue under his thick cock, and dragged it slowly up his full length. He’d found it easier in the past to take a proper breaking after he’d already cum once or twice. It wasn’t his favorite part of sex---Sebastian far preferred the giving to the taking---but he knew enough about what he didn’t like to give someone else something gentler.
If he could get the other man off hard enough, it would ease the tension, if nothing else. From there, if he could work quickly, it would be over before there was a chance for any real pain to settle in. He’d likely be sore for about a day, but he’d also be eight sovereigns richer. That was worth it, right? That was easily double Mirassan’s rate and then some. Why else would he agree twice in a row?
With the plan of action as solidly locked into his clouded brain as it was ever going to get, Sebastian poised both of his hands to either side of the younger man’s hips as his tongue flicked over the smooth head of him, and opened his mouth to swallow his cock. Remembering a series of bawdy jokes about the larger girth of Fereldens, specifically that he’d heard somewhere or another, Sebastian relaxed his jaw a little wider. Whether they were large for humans or not, this cock was noticeably larger than the only one he had any real experience with. The only other human he’d taken in his mouth had been. . .
No!
I’d rather die!
I’d rather DIE!
A hard shudder tore down the back of Sebastian’s neck, and he pulled back enough to peer up, seeing the young man above him fully arched back into the wall behind him, his thighs shaking and knees tensing. A jumble of groaning gasps was broken and smothered by both of his hands clasped loosely over his mouth, and he heard him swear under his breath at least three times, calling the Maker’s name between the curses like commas in a sentence. It was nothing at all like being kept in submission against his will. There was power, raw and bright, in choosing to be where he was. The welcomer wasn’t touching him in any way, instead allowing him to exert his will, his action, his bidding.
Sebastian was in charge here, and they both knew it.
The thought mingled well with the twist of other things happening in his mind, making his own cock stretch fuller and twitch. More certain and secure in himself, he worked the other man’s huge cock deeper into his throat, pulling back to slurp over him sloppily, and pulling off as he spread his legs wider. His trousers slumped down to his knees, and Sebastian growled ravenously as he sank his chin between his thighs, finding his ass with his tongue, and drawing a long line of his dripping saliva from his asshole all the way back out and up to the base of his cock again. He stopped along his journey through the motions to lick and suck each testicle, toy with it, and move on again.
Returning to sucking him faster, Sebastian slid both of his hands to circle around his hips, spreading him open and circling his slick opening with one of his middle fingers. A gasp louder than the rest broke up and into the air above him, and the other man writhed, pulling away for the flash of a second as both of his hands flew to brace himself against the wall at his sides. Not allowing him a full retreat, Sebastian pressed up, making his breath break and hold completely as he sank his mouth as deep on his cock as he was able in the same swift motion that he pressed his first knuckle into his ass.
The young man’s hips jerked sharply forward as Sebastian had expected, and he rode the movement to keep his cock from ramming far enough down his throat to break his concentration. They held like that for a second, two, and a third. On the fourth, a slow shaky breath worked out in the air over his head, his cock twitched hard in his mouth, and he melted his hips back. Again, following the motion, Sebastian growled softly and slid his finger a little deeper.
“Maker! Fuck!” The other man hissed, a deep grunt working into the space between his soft and desperate moans.
Sebastian chuckled darkly in his satisfaction, the vibration pulling another sharp jerk from the young man’s shaking hips, and giving him a chance to seat his middle finger completely into his body. Finally, allowing him to adjust after a few more seconds, Sebastian fell into a smooth rhythm of rocking his impromptu partner back and forth through the wave of sucking his cock and stroking through his deliciously tight heat. The apprehension spooled out of his partner, and he lifted one hand back to his mouth to stifle the incoherent chain of curses as he panted through his fingers, while the other stayed fixed to the wall at his side.
Haze and need blended wickedly in the back of Sebastian’s mind, racing against his own urgency as the fog layered over the world thickened, and he groaned as he pulled back his unoccupied hand to rub over himself. His ears buzzed pleasantly, and he let more of his own anxiety fade into the background noise of his brain, everything pushed aside for the promised fruition he’d chased the hope of for hours. Forgetting himself and falling deeper into habit, he unfastened one side of his fly, slid his hand in to find and stroke his painfully hard cock, and slid a second finger into the other man’s ass.
“FUCK!” The welcomer cursed louder, folding forward over Sebastian’s head, and cumming hard down his throat.
Good.
Ride it out.
Then, we take it.
One last time.
We can have just one last time.
Doing exactly that, Sebastian held, swallowing twice as the other man huffed, his voice cranking up into a shattered cry of pleasure as he spilled over his tongue. Rising to his feet again the moment he slumped back against the wall, Sebastian barely paused to take in the bright red flooding his face and the way his eyes had glassed over. There was only so much time that he could waste in the passing seconds before reality would assert itself and the line between pain and desire solidified. Taking advantage of the dregs of the other man’s spend in his mouth to draw it out over his fingers, he turned him over and untucked himself from his trousers. He let out a shuddering breath as Sebastian used his own cum to slide his fingers back down the seam of his ass, and braced himself against the wall with both hands as he let him finger him again.
“Bear down against me,” Sebastian huffed in the young man’s ear. “Don’t fight it. Let me fill you up.”
The other man nodded weakly, adjusting his legs to step them a little further apart, and let out a deep breath. Not allowing himself a breath of hesitation, Sebastian stroked himself through the other man’s ass cheeks, found his eager hole with the head of his cock, and braced the other hand on the small of his back as he pressed his hips forward. A deep gasp leapt out of the welcomer’s throat, and he lifted slightly onto his toes to pull away, making Sebastian curse softly as he struggled to bring him back. He flexed through his wrist, pressing him back down onto the flats of his feet, and resetting them both to try again.
Convincing himself that any pause while he still had control would be crueler than the alternative, Sebastian gritted his teeth as he draped his forearm against the back of the other man’s hips and gripped him solidly to keep him in place. He rocked him back into his body as he thrust his hips sharply forward, both of their breaths stalling as he spread him forcefully open over the smooth head of his cock. The moment he found himself deep enough, he let himself go, crossed his forearm over to grip the other hip, and pulled.
His partner’s tight hole twitched as he tensed, tried to force himself to relax against him, and then tensed again. The spasms sent a hard shudder through Sebastian’s thighs and crept up his spine. It was excellent, perfect, everything he wanted, and he let out a deep groaning sigh as he bottomed out and held, keeping his inexperienced partner’s ass buried into his hips. He drifted one hand up from his hip bone, pressed up under his shirt to rub over his back as he leaned forward, and planted a kiss behind his ear.
“You’re doing so good,” Sebastian murmured, his breath washing hot against the back of the other man’s neck. “You feel amazing.”
The young man panted, his fingers spreading out to splay over the wall as he nodded. He finally managed a deep breath out and eased himself back, the tension melting out of his legs as they hung there in breathy silence. When the man under his hands felt like he’d finally adjusted, Sebastian rocked back his hips, stroking through his wonderfully tight depth, and rolled into him again. He tensed, his breath catching in a hard gasp, and he arched deeper into the wall. Sebastian pulled his hand down, each one smoothing over the curve of the young man’s lower back and gripping the crests of his hip bones to keep him from pulling away again.
He would adjust eventually. For Sebastian, the sensations of penetration always seemed to dull after a handful of moments, allowing his mind to clear enough to remember how to relax and open up, how to breathe, and how exquisite it could be. It would be the same here. He just had to keep going, rolling his hips and swaying, pulling the other man along for the ride.
Letting his head drape back, Sebastian groaned to the ceiling, each slow, smooth stroke surging through him like fire. His eyes rolled closed, and he bit down on his lower lip as he straightened again, slid his hands through the seam of the other man’s hips to stroke over his smooth skin and drag his clawed fingers back up the fronts of his bare thighs.
“ Fuck! Maker, help me,” Sebastian huffed, the words working out of him in slow, languid moans. “So good. Fuck! So, so good.”
He was sure exactly how long he moved like that, fucking himself through the tight ring of the other man’s ass, but as he worked up in speed, he slowed again, rubbing his hand up under the back of his shirt again. His breath was stalling with each thrust, a soft grunt seeping out of him as they rocked together, and his fingers were bearing into the stone wall so hard that his fingertips were turning white. As Sebastian eased, the young man heaved out a deep and shaky breath. He was succeeding in bearing back as Sebastian had told him to more than he was clenching, and his arms slacked a little more, but a thick sweat had started over his flushed skin.
“Are you still with me?” He prodded gently, rubbing his hands over the curve of his lower back.
The other man nodded, the motion shifting to a slow shake of his head as he panted harder and hung his head.
“It’s not. . . Not what I. . . expected,” he managed, his breath and words holding between the motions of their bodies moving together. “I don’t know. . . what I was. . . Ungggh! Expecting.”
Sebastian smiled and leaned in closer, his chest pressing into the other man’s back as he laid out a chain of smoldering kisses down the back of his neck, up behind his ear, and hovered there. The harder he rocked into his partner’s hips, the more he shook and the deeper he grunted, clenching his teeth and grinding them together hard enough for Sebastian to hear. A sudden worry that he wasn’t adjusting as well as he was hoping surged up in the back of his mind, making him curse silently and slow again.
Don’t have time to be here all night.
Just keep going.
He’ll be. . .
“Maker! Shit!” The young man swore softly, trying to arch away from him again. “It’s. . . it’s too much. Please. . .”
Sebastian growled softly, coming to a halt as he held himself as deeply into the other man’s body as he could to keep himself buried to the hilt.
Fuck.
Not again.
I can’t take it a third time.
I don’t want---
“Please. Please, stop,” his partner huffed, the request as shaky as his breath. “I need to stop. It’s. . . It’s too much. I-I can’t---”
Not again.
Not a third time.
You took too long, you daft fuckin’ weapon.
Just. . .
Just get it over as quickly as you can.
Pay him.
And leave.
Snarling softly, Sebastian curled one forearm around the young man's belly to hold him as tightly as he could to his body, his other hand lifting to clamp his mouth shut, muffling a shout of protest as he sped up. The other man clawed at his hand, trying to pry his fingers from his face, and Sebastian yanked his head back to cradle it against his shoulder. His eyes were watering, his stifled attempts to cry out growing more desperate as they shifted into hard whimpers.
You’re a monster.
Yes. I am.
You’re just as fucked up as they are.
Yes. I am
But that’s not going to stop us.
Is it?
“I’ll be over quickly,” Sebastian assured him as he fucked the welcomer harder and faster, open and raw. “Please. Just let me---”
The man’s other hand left the stones, reaching back to press against Sebastian’s thigh and trying to push him away enough to free himself from his grip. He reached down, snatching it sharply and lifting it away as he slammed his body against the wall, pinning him in place, and keeping him there.
“Don’t fight it,” he repeated the direction with a harsh bite of command. “It’ll only make this worse.”
He whimpered again more softly, weakly trying for a moment to continue the fight as Sebastian resumed, giving up quickly in his aimless futility and pressing his forehead into the cool, stone wall as his shoulders slumped defeatedly.
You’re a monster.
Trying desperately to ignore everything but the demanding burn working its way up from his toes, Sebastian focused his efforts through his legs and hips, into his chest pressed against the other man’s back, and through his arms to his fingers where they tightened over his mouth and wrist. He forced the soft whimpers and muffled crying, the cooling trails of hot tears streaking over the back of his hand, and the shaking of his shoulders as far from his awareness as he could. He just needed to get off. He just needed a little more---mere seconds if he could get his mind and body to cooperate. He’d already been worked up far more than he needed. If he could just finish it. . .
Switching focus in his mind, he pulled forward the intoxication again, unwinding the humility he’d tried to wrap it in and letting it fill him instead. He was powerful, more powerful than anything that had tried to break him down or get in his way. Nobody could stop him. He was Sebastian Vale. No one could stop him but himself. He was in charge here.
You’re a monster.
Yes. I am.
And maybe, I like it that way.
Letting his eyes roll closed as his brow twisted up in the ecstasy of his pleasure racing toward him again unhindered for the first time all day, Sebastian ground himself deeper as the thundering of his orgasm exploded through every part of his body. It was a beautiful blend of pain and abandon, blurring reality and bending his senses. He sucked in a hard gasp, thrusting harder, rocking back, and rolling into his partner’s ass to stroke himself loose as deeply as he could, letting everything he’d been holding back flood out of him.
Finally free of the oppressive hammering in his mind and his blood, a deep rush of breath rushed out past Sebastian’s lips, and he pulled his still-twitching cock free as he finally let the other man go. He slumped, bracing his hands on the wall as he sagged against it, dripping with sweat and cum, and sank to his knees. As distant and disconnected as he could be from the man silently weeping at his feet, Sebastian stroked the last of himself clean, wiping his hand off against his pant leg, and tucked his cock back into his trousers.
He should feel something---regret, shame, disgust, or some mix of the three. But all he felt was relief and that pleasant fuzziness clinging to his brain as he reached for the purse belted onto his hip, and dropped it on the floor at the man’s side unceremoniously. There was a lot more than what they’d agreed upon in it, but money mattered less than everything else in the world right now. He’d taken more than promised, so he would give more than promised. That was the way of things. This was a transaction. Nothing more and nothing less. Everyone used everyone else in Val Royeaux, and if the inexperienced Ferelden didn’t know that before, he certainly would know it now.
Sebastian had done them both a favor, and he didn’t bother to thank him for the exchange as he gathered his cloak from the barrel, unlatched the door, and draped it over his shoulders as he left the man still lying on the floor behind him.