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Chapter Text

Closing her eyes, Lily takes a deep breath in, then lets it out through her nose. She opens her eyes again to study her reflection in the mirror. Her freckled face stares back at her, green eyes underlined in black and matching with the colour of her dress, her fiery hair braided down her back. She shifts from foot to foot, slightly uncomfortable in the high heels her mother picked out. After checking that the amber stones of her earrings and necklace are facing the right way, she casts one last look over her outfit and tries to force out a smile. Not very convincing, but it’ll have to do.

She takes slow steps towards her bedroom door, wishing she could just stay hidden in here until everyone leaves. Petunia would probably be glad. But her parents insisted she should be there. Sighing, Lily pulls the door open, walks down the hallway to the top of the stairs, and silently curses those damned high heels again. She can barely walk in them; why most other women love them so much will always remain a mystery to her.

Voices come in from the open door to the backyard as she reaches the bottom of the stairs. Lily recognises Vernon’s loud laughter and grimaces.

“Come now, darling, don’t make that face.” Her father smiles at her from the kitchen, where he seems to be looking for something. “It’s your sister’s big day. At least pretend that you’re happy to be here.”

“I just really don’t understand what she sees in him,” Lily grumbles, joining him.

“Well, that’s not for you to judge, so— Aha!” he exclaims, pulling a cake server out of the drawer he was rummaging through. “There it is.”

“What are you two doing here? Paul, you’re supposed to be cutting the cake.”

They both turn around, and Lily bites down on her bottom lip when she sees her mother in the doorframe. Barbara Evans looks quite stern with her hands on her hips, hair styled neatly and outfit the perfect balance between chic and practical.

“Found it,” her father replies, waving the cake server around before shuffling out of the kitchen to rejoin their guests.

“Oh, darling, look at you,” her mother says. She walks over to Lily and takes both her hands in her own, soft and warm. “You look gorgeous.” She plants a kiss on Lily’s cheek and smiles at her warmly. “That dress really flatters you. You’d better be careful, it fits you just right. Wouldn’t want it to become too small, now, would we?”

Lily nods, then follows her mother outside. The sun is blinding, reflecting on the white tablecloth pulled over the long table they set up for food and drinks, and it’s much louder now compared to the slight buzz of conversation that could just be heard from inside the house. In seconds, Lily’s stomach is in knots, and if James were here, it would all be so much easier. He’d take her hand in his, big and reassuring; he’d smile that charming smile of his, and it wouldn’t matter that other people are narrow minded, because they could just laugh together.

Even several months after their breakup, Lily still needs him most of the time. James’s absence is always inadequate, like she can’t be fully comfortable without him by her side. Especially now. Lily could really do with some of his natural charisma today.

She’s drawn out of her thoughts when something suddenly collides with her legs and nearly makes her topple over. Thankfully, she manages to catch herself on the table—the last thing she needs is to make a fool of herself.

Looking down, Lily spots a ball of fur scattering away. Ah, of course. The bulldogs.

“Lily!”

Ah. And Vernon’s lovely sister.

“Marjorie,” Lily grits out, plastering a fake smile on her face. “I’m so glad to see you.”

“Oh, do call me Marge. We’re going to be sisters, after all.”

Marjorie’s smile makes her look like she’s in pain—which, on second thought, might very well be the case. Lily sure as hell doesn’t feel anything pleasant at the thought of having any ties with this woman.

“Of course. How are you, Marge?” Lily is too polite for her own damn good.

“Can’t complain, really.” Oh, I’m sure you’ll manage to complain just fine, Lily thinks. “Of course, everyone’s overjoyed about the engagement. Who could find it in themself to be in a bad mood on an occasion such as this?” Yes, yes, I know, I’m a selfish monster for not being overjoyed my sister is marrying the blandest man alive. “I do so worry about the dogs, though,” Marjorie continues, unaware of Lily’s internal replies. “I couldn’t bring them all with me, as you can well imagine, but I hate to leave them. Can’t stop picturing them crying out for their mummy.”

Lily nods, fighting back the urge to roll her eyes or burst out laughing. This is absolutely ridiculous—Marjorie’s dogs are all at the house the Dursleys have rented for the week. She only left them for one afternoon.

“I’m sure they’ll be glad to see you tonight,” she offers.

Marjorie hums, looking over Lily’s shoulder at the table behind her. “I actually came over here to…” she starts, stepping around Lily to get to the plates.

“Oh, right. Well. Help yourself.”

Marjorie doesn’t answer, and Lily sighs in relief as she walks away from her. No major disaster so far. She spots her father across the lawn, chatting with people she doesn’t know—probably colleagues, or friends of the Dursleys’. He winks at her when he catches her looking his way, and she replies with a small smile.

A little while passes without anyone nearly knocking her over, and Lily starts to relax. Maybe she really did overthink this. Maybe she can go unnoticed for the next few hours before she slips away discreetly, and Petunia won’t have anything to get mad at her over.

But then her eyes land on her sister, wearing high heels and a pink dress that show off her slim figure, lips pressed into a tight smile as she politely listens to Vernon and some other boring-looking young men talk loudly.

Petunia doesn’t notice her staring, but she doesn’t have to for Lily to recognise that emptiness in her pale blue eyes.

For the millionth time, Lily asks herself why her sister is getting married to that man.

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There are nine women and fourteen men. Petunia already knows this—she’s the one who organised everything—but she still counts them again and again. It’s the only thing she can do to keep herself busy while still pretending to follow the conversation.

She tracks every movement, analyses what each person is wearing, tries to guess what they’re talking about. She’s usually quite good at listening in, but Vernon and his friends are too loud for her to make out anything over them.

Her mother is playing hostess, bustling about and making sure everything is in order. It’s the least she can do for her own daughter’s engagement, but still, Petunia can’t help the warmth in her chest when she notices how seriously her parents are taking this. For once, this is about her. Something is happening to her, and it matters, and they care.

They care.

Vernon’s friends aren’t too bad—they dress well enough, and they know how to lead a normal conversation, without making things uncomfortably deep but not being too superficial either. Petunia has just heard a bit too much about politics and football lately, and really, can anyone blame her for letting her thoughts drift to wedding preparations? There’s simply so much to do.

As she’s debating which flower arrangements she’d like best, movement on her right catches her eye, and she looks just in time to see green fabric disappear inside the house.

She excuses herself and makes a beeline for the backdoor, leaving the men to their debate over which sport is best for young boys to practise nowadays.

“Lily,” she calls when she makes it inside the house.

Her sister turns around in surprise.

“Oh, Tuney. It’s you.” That childish nickname. Tuney. It doesn’t sound right anymore—they’re adults now, for Christ’s sake. “You look really nice.”

Petunia is about to ask what she’s up to when Lily gestures at her, making the wand she’s holding in her hands obvious.

“You know, your dress, and… Yeah, you look… You look beautiful,” Lily continues, her voice soft.

“What are you doing,” Petunia hisses, “with that?”

Lily’s expression falls. “Don’t worry, I’m not— I wasn’t—”

“God, can’t you act normally for one day?”

“I just need it to—”

“Right, you need it. Of course you do. You just have to make everything about you!” Petunia bursts out. “Can’t spend one single afternoon without your precious stick. What is wrong with you?” Her sister’s eyes go round. “Seriously, Lily. You know I hate all that freak stuff.”

“Tuney…”

“And stop calling me that! You’re not five anymore!”

“Sorry.”

Grinding her teeth, Petunia takes a few breaths in and out. It’s fine. No one saw anything. Whatever her sister was planning to do with the wand, Petunia managed to stop her before she could ruin everything.

“I’m sorry,” Lily repeats.

“Whatever. Just put it away and come back outside.” Petunia starts towards the door, readying herself to get back to Vernon’s side.

“I can’t.”

“What?” She whips back around. Lily is worrying her bottom lip, still clutching her wand in front of her.

“I have… I’m supposed to meet my friends.”

Petunia blinks at her. “You’re what?”

“I’m meeting my friends,” Lily says again, a bit more assertive this time.

“Today? Now?”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t believe you,” Petunia breathes out. She could scream. “Are you actually—? What, you’re just— You were just planning to leave, then?”

Lily shifts, visibly uncomfortable. Petunia might strangle her.

“My engagement party. It’s my engagement party, and you’re going to meet your friends.” She huffs out a humourless laugh. “But of course! How could you possibly deal with me being the centre of attention for one day?”

“Godric, this isn’t about you—” Lily starts.

“No,” Petunia interrupts. “No, it never is about me, is it?” Her sister’s mouth snaps shut. “Yeah. That’s what I thought. You spend all year with those freak friends of yours and now you’ve barely been home for a week that you’re running back to them.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Nor do I want to know anything about those people! I don’t care what you do when I’m in London, but when me and Vernon are here, I wish you’d behave a bit more normally.”

“Petunia,” Lily cries, “I’m really, really sorry, but I didn’t think you’d care if I didn’t stay until the end!”

“I don’t,” she snaps. “Go be a freak with your weird boyfriend if that’s what you want! Just don’t do anything to ruin my day. This isn’t supposed to be about you or your special powers.” With that, Petunia turns on her heels and opens the door to the backyard.

“I’m sorry,” she hears her sister say one last time before she steps outside.

Vernon is still deep in conversation with John and Chris, so Petunia goes in the opposite direction. Her mother is rearranging the napkins by the table, and looks up with a smile when Petunia picks one up in the grass that the wind probably blew off and settles it back safely under a glass.

“Is everything alright, darling?”

“Yes,” Petunia replies automatically.

“Is it like you wanted?”

Petunia nods. It is. It really is. Everything is just as she planned it, down to every little detail.

So why is it so hard to smile?

“Did you know Lily was leaving early?” she asks.

Her mother’s eyes brighten. “Yes, isn’t it so kind of her friend’s parents to invite the whole group? Hosting this party for you is already quite demanding, and everyone here is an adult,” she says with a small laugh. “I can’t imagine having that many teenagers over.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Oh, didn’t I?” Her mother looks at her, frowning slightly. Petunia shakes her head. “I thought I did. Sorry, darling.”

Petunia sighs. “You know I didn’t want her there in the first place, and now everyone’s going to ask where she’s gone, and…”

“Don’t whine, Petunia. I’m sorry I forgot to mention it, but don’t let it keep you from your fiancé. Today is about you two, isn’t it?” Petunia doesn’t answer. “Let your sister have fun with her friends. You know it’s good for her to be surrounded by other witches and wizards.”

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When Lily arrives, all the boys and Dorcas are already there. Regulus notices her first as she walks up to the little group sitting in the garden behind the Potter’s mansion.

“Lily,” he shouts, “have you read chapter five yet?”

She fights back a grin as she reaches them and sits between him and Remus.

“Sorry boys,” she says, “I’ve been too busy this week.”

Remus groans, and Regulus pouts. “You promised the book club would still be on after you two left Hogwarts,” he reminds her.

“I know, I know, and I will catch up as soon as I can. I promise. My parents have just been all over me since I came home,” Lily explains, “and then my sister arrived, and today was her engagement party…”

“Oh yeah, how was that?” James asks her.

She shrugs. “Awful. Don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Hey, Reg,” Barty says. “Have you heard from the twins at all?”

“Oh, that’s true, I haven’t heard from them either,” Dorcas jumps in.

Regulus frowns. “Didn’t they say they were going away with their parents for a bit?”

“Oh, I think the girls are here,” Lily interrupts.

Two figures run towards them from the house, and Lily gets up to greet them halfway. The three collide in a hug, tumbling and almost falling in the grass.

“Merlin, I’ve missed you!” Marlene laughs, and Mary nods her assent.

“I missed you too,” Lily replies, grinning at the two girls she shared a room with for seven years. It still hasn’t fully sunk in that that period of her life is over.

“James, I love your mother,” Mary declares as they rejoin the rest of the group.

“Sorry, I think there’s quite a long waiting list now to be adopted,” he replies with a grin.

“I’m at the top,” Lily adds with a wink.

“Prongs,” Sirius suddenly calls, “we have to show Pete our new brooms!”

“You got new broomsticks?” Marlene asks, immediately interested.

“That’s right,” Sirius says proudly. “Congratulations for our N.E.W.T.s and whatnot.”

“And that’s only one of the perks of living with the Potters,” James comments.

“Yeah, we all got presents for our O.W.L.s as well,” Regulus agrees. “But that’s nothing compared to Effie’s cooking.”

Barty frowns. “I didn’t get anything for my O.W.L.s.”

“Really?” Dorcas asks, surprised. “Didn’t you take, like, twelve?”

Barty merely shrugs in response.

“Cas, weren’t you there when we established his dad sucks?” Regulus jokes.

Sirius jumps up. “So. Who’s coming to see the beauties?”

James, Peter, Marlene and Dorcas follow him to a shed a little further away. After a short silence, Mary gets up and runs to catch up to them.

“Reg, what am I gonna do next year?” Barty laments, sprawling dramatically over Regulus’s lap. “Pandora’s gone and everyone else in Ravenclaw sucks.”

“You’ll just come hang in the Slytherin dorms with me and Dorcas. Stop being such a drama queen.”

“I’m not,” he whines, then throws bits of grass at Regulus before running away.

“You’re gonna end up friendless, you tosser!” Regulus shouts, running after him.

Barty’s maniacal laughter echoes in the late afternoon, and Lily lays down, propping her head on Remus’s lap, soaking up the sun. Her friend runs his fingers through her hair gently, undoing her braid to massage her scalp.

“How are you?” she asks him softly, studying his face. His eyes shine golden in the summer light, and his scars are made more visible by his tan. The permanent bags under his eyes don’t seem as dark as the last time she saw him.

“Alright,” he says. “The next moon is in a week and a half. The guys want to apparate with me somewhere, but… I don’t know. I don’t expect all three of them to always make me the priority.”

“They care about you,” Lily replies. “They want to do everything they can to help you. Let them do this.”

Remus hums, but doesn’t say anything more.

After a short while, their other friends come back from the shed, chatting excitedly about Quidditch. Barty and Regulus come back as well, a little dishevelled, and join in the conversation. Sirius sits next to Remus, whispering something in his ear Lily can’t make out.

“Are you sure?” Remus asks, and Sirius nods. “Okay. Sorry, Lils, no more petting for you,” he says, pushing her aside.

“No,” Lily whines, sitting back up. “Aw, that was so nice. Thanks,” she adds with a kiss to his cheek.

He shoots her a grin before clearing his throat. “Er, everyone? Padfoot and I have something to say.”

The little group quietens down, eight pairs of eyes shooting to the two boys with curiosity. Is this about another prank idea they had?

“Should I say it?” Remus asks Sirius, who nods, then blurts, “Wait, no, let me do it.”

Lily shifts her gaze between them, wondering what kind of trouble they’re about to suggest they all get into. But that’s not what they want to talk about at all, as it turns out.

“We’re dating. Each other.” Sirius gestures between him and Remus, as if for emphasis. “We’re, er… Yeah. We’re together.”

“Oh, and I’m gay,” Remus adds.

“Salazar,” Dorcas breathes out, and chaos ensues. Barty laughs maniacally again, Marlene whoops, and James shouts to ask why he didn’t get this knowledge before everyone else seeing as he’s Sirius’s brother, to which Regulus remarks that actually, he’s Sirius’s brother. That shuts James up, who just crawls over to hug a flushed Sirius. Mary smiles brightly, Peter laughs, and Lily throws her arms around Remus.

“I— I didn’t—” she tries to say.

“I know,” Remus chuckles. “Everyone’s blind.”

A sudden wave of emotion hits her, and she can feel the tears coming. “I’m sorry. I’m… Thank you for telling me. Well, us. Thank you for trusting me.”

He pulls back to look her in the eyes, smiling. “I love you, Lily.”

“Love you too.”

The evening creeps up on them, and it’s late when the sun finally paints the sky red, making them realise they should call it a day. Effie prepared food for everyone that they shared as they talked and laughed, and Lily doesn’t want to leave. After their last year at Hogwarts, she doesn’t know what the future holds for her and her friends. Nothing will be the same anymore after this summer. It’s like she can feel the time they have together slipping away like sand between her fingers, and she wishes they could stay young and free forever. Having spent so many years living together, they’ve become her second family. They know her.

But even the summer days end, and the sun sets, and Lily has to get home.

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Petunia has been pacing her bedroom for what feels like hours when she finally hears the front door open and close downstairs. She stops, listening for her sister’s steps up the stairs, then reaches for her door just as Lily passes her room.

“Merlin, Tuney! You scared me.”

“It’s late,” she comments.

Lily’s eyes shift to the side. She at least has the decency to look guilty.

“Yeah, I know… lost track of time,” she says with a weak smile.

Petunia pokes the inside of her cheek with her tongue, then presses her back against the open door to invite Lily into her bedroom. Her sister comes inside silently, and Petunia closes the door behind her.

“We need to talk, but I don’t want to wake the parents,” she explains.

Lily seems disappointed. “Oh, right. Well, I really wanted to apologise again for—”

“Don’t bother,” Petunia interrupts. “What you did was incredibly rude and inconsiderate, but I don’t even know why I expected anything else from you.”

“I—”

“No, let me finish, Lily. I understand that my life must seem terribly boring compared to yours, but not all of us want to go off into the sunset with the first freak we find on the sidewalk. I didn’t want you there in the first place, but to come only to leave early was simply disrespectful, both to me and Vernon, as well as his family, and mom and dad. They’re the ones who insisted you be there today, you know. The least you could have done is just act like a normal person for one day.”

Petunia releases a deep breath. Lily stays quiet.

“Well? Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?”

“He has a name, you know,” Lily whispers.

“What?”

Lily looks up at her, green eyes fierce and burning with something Petunia hasn’t seen on her sister’s face in a long time. Maybe she just hasn’t seen her sister in a long time.

“James. His name is James.”

Rolling her eyes, Petunia sighs. “Whatever. I don’t care who your weirdo of a boyfriend is. I don’t want to have anything to do with any of those people.”

“What people?” Lily retorts.

“Your people!” Petunia bursts out. “All those freaks like you. I don’t want anything to do with that, do you hear me? I forbid you from doing any of your… unnatural stuff when I’m here! And especially with Vernon around,” she adds.

Lily takes a step back like the words were a physical blow.

“How can you say stuff like that?” she asks in a trembling voice.

Petunia purses her lips and looks away from her sister’s watery eyes before answering. “You know how I feel about all of it. It’s not normal. You’re… you’re an anomaly, Lily.”

She hears Lily sniffle, but keeps looking at the wall. It’s mostly blank now that she’s moved out, most of her stuff having either been moved to London or thrown out, but there are a couple of pictures and old cards still stuck on there.

“Please don’t say that.”

Silently, Petunia walks up to one of the photographs. It’s one of her and Lily when they were little—before everything. Back when they were just two little girls, sitting in the garden, playing together as their father immortalised their toothy grins and mussed up hair.

“Petunia.”

She lifts a finger to the edge of the black and white image. She doesn’t remember why they were laughing. She doesn’t remember what their game was. She doesn’t remember the day the photograph was taken at all.

“Tuney, please.”

She wishes she did remember. There are other childhood memories, of course, but those can’t entirely be trusted—did Lily ever make daisy crowns for them so they could pretend to be fairy princesses the whole afternoon? Or did Petunia make it up in her head after her sister started to make daisies bloom out of nothing in the palm of her hand?

“Tuney, listen to me. Please.”

This is tangible, concrete proof that they shared joy, once upon a time. That there was a moment in their life, however fleeting, when Lily’s happiness wasn’t Petunia’s misery. But she doesn’t remember that day.

Maybe she was just too young.

“I know we’re very different,” Lily says. “And that you— you don’t really, well, you don’t understand my life. And this whole world I’m a part of. It’s… a lot. I know. It was a lot for me too. Hell, it can be a lot even now, and I’ve been living in it for years. And it’s not all good. But… it’s not all bad, either. If you could just see—”

“Lily, don’t,” Petunia cuts in. “I’m not interested in it. I don’t want to know, okay? I can’t tell you how to live your life, but don’t expect me to just… accept it. I don’t like it. I just don’t.”

Lily sighs behind her, but she still doesn’t look away from the picture.

“We should go to bed now,” Petunia says.

“Alright,” Lily agrees, but she sounds more resigned than anything. “I just wish…”

When Petunia turns around, her sister is looking at her with a set mouth and sad eyes.

“What?” Petunia prompts.

“Doesn’t matter,” Lily mutters.

It’s Petunia’s turn to sigh. “Really, Lily, I wish you could see it from my perspective. I don’t think you realise what it’s like for me, having to explain away every little weird thing about my family, having to risk my engagement by telling Vernon what you are!”

“You think I have it any easier?” Lily replies, her expression hardened again.

“No, I don’t think so, I know so!”

“Oh, really? What, you think I just spend all of my time growing flowers and riding unicorns? You think everyone in the wizarding world is kind to people like me?”

“What do you mean, people like you? They are people like you!”

“To you, they are! But not to them!” Lily almost shouts. Petunia only stares at her, not having any idea what she’s talking about. “Well, not all of them anyway,” she says a little more calmly.

Closing her eyes, Petunia pinches the bridge of her nose. “Let’s just go to bed. I don’t want to hear any more about this.”

“Fine,” Lily huffs, then crosses the room again to storm out.

Petunia quietly closes the door after she’s gone, and makes her way to her bed.

The last thought she has before drifting off is, I wish you could see it like I do.

Chapter Text

The cover feels heavier than usual when Petunia wakes up. The last tendrils of her dream escape her before she can grab hold of them—which is probably for the best, considering the awful nightmares she usually remembers. She pushes the cover off, letting fresh air cool her sweaty skin. For a moment, she feels peaceful.

Then her consciousness fully awakens and she starts to think of all the things she has to do; preparations for the wedding, shopping and answering calls and sending cards, and she’s having dinner with Vernon’s family tonight…

The stream of thoughts stops when Petunia opens her eyes.

No light comes from behind the dark, heavy curtains of the window on her left, and she has to blink a few times to make out anything. When she does, she sits up so fast her head spins a little.

This is not her room.

The blanket is too heavy, the curtains too dark. There are fairy lights hung along the wall opposite the bed, a few posters, a full bookcase on the right. She almost screams when she catches movement from a photograph on the bedside table.

Heart pounding, she turns the bedside light on to inspect it closer and recognises Lily between two other girls. The one on her right has blond hair, closed eyes and her mouth open in laughter. The one on her left has dark skin and a kind smile. All three of them are wearing wizard robes and red and gold scarves. Lily holds their arms and says something to whoever is taking the photograph before chuckling and winking, then talking again. The girl with blond hair continuously shakes with laughter, and the other one throws an arm up, then brings it back down, up, and down, up, and down. The little scene loops before Petunia’s eyes, magically recorded and immortalised onto a piece of paper.

Petunia looks away, her throat closing up. Moving photographs. Ridiculous.

She gets out of the bed, wondering how she got here. Was she so drunk last night that she confused Lily’s room for her own? But that doesn’t make any sense, she barely drank anything. And where is her sister?

A yelp escapes her when she comes in front of the mirror.

Something is terribly wrong.

Petunia closes her eyes, takes a deep breath in, and releases it slowly.

When she opens her eyes, it’s still Lily looking back at her, a distressed expression mirroring how Petunia feels, where her reflection should be.

What. The. Hell?

She rushes to open the curtains, the rays of sunlight momentarily blinding her, and goes back to stand in front of the mirror.

Pale freckled skin, long ginger hair, wide green eyes. A rounder face, a shorter stature. Petunia raises a hand, and so does Lily inside the mirror. She turns her head this way and that, and so does Lily inside the mirror.

Finally, Petunia looks down at her body, holding her trembling hands before her, and it’s not her. She’s not her. Those aren’t her hands. Not her feet, not her hair, not her body.

Her hands are bigger, with longer fingers, and her feet aren’t so small, and her hair feels lighter, is softer when she runs her hands through it than this fiery mess. Her body is slim and tall, and everything that this isn’t.

Petunia, somehow, is inside her sister’s body.

Oh, the freak.

She steps closer to the mirror, bringing her hands to the freckled face, tentatively at first, then scratching at it furiously.

No. No. No.

No.

This is a nightmare. This has to be a nightmare. Petunia is going to wake up any second now, and forget this ever happened, because it never happened.

It cannot be happening.

But no matter what way she pulls at the red hair or how many times she blinks, she’s still very much in the wrong body. Awake, and in the wrong body.

Petunia is going to kill Lily.

Terror and rage rise inside her, and she practically runs out the door to her own bedroom. Slipping inside, she freezes when her eyes land on her bed.

Her own body lays there, wrapped inside the blanket. She… it looks peaceful.

Petunia carefully walks up to the bed and clears her throat.

“Hello?” she says, Lily’s voice surprising her as it comes out of her own mouth.

Her body in the bed stirs until blue eyes flutter open.

“What in the name of Godric,” Petunia hears her own voice say as her body recoils to the opposite end of the bed.

“Lily?” Petunia asks.

“What— Who are you? What’s happening?”

“Lily, is that you?” Petunia insists.

“Yes, I’m Lily, but what the fuck are you doing in my body?”

“How the hell should I know!” Petunia replies. “You’re in my body!”

“What?” Lily sits up and looks at herself, her hands, her legs, then back up at Petunia. “What the hell.” She jumps out of the bed, looks around the room, then runs out.

Petunia rushes after her, back into Lily’s room. Lily plants herself in front of her mirror, the shock on her face quickly turning into alarm.

“What did you do?” Petunia yells at her.

“What?” Lily turns to look at her.

“You did this, didn’t you? You freak!”

“Tuney, I promise, I didn’t do anything. I have no idea what’s going on.”

“You think I’m stupid enough to believe that?”

“I honestly don’t know how this happened. Why would I do this?”

“You’re trying to ruin my life!”

“Petunia, no—”

“Give me my body back,” she demands.

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“Petunia, stop shouting!” Lily shouts.

“I’ll stop shouting when I’m not in your body anymore!”

“Just let me think for a second!”

Petunia purses her lips, but doesn’t reply. It’s odd to see her do that with Lily’s face. It’s such a characteristic Petunia expression, it looks wrong on someone else—especially so on Lily, of all people.

Lily looks at her reflection in the mirror again, Petunia’s blue eyes staring back at her in surprise. She’s taller than usual, and thinner, with blond waves that fall to her shoulders and fewer freckles on her face.

“Well?” Petunia prompts impatiently. Her voice sounds like Lily’s.

“I don’t know,” Lily replies, and her voice sounds like Petunia’s. “It can’t be polyjuice potion, because that doesn’t alter voices,” she thinks aloud.

“Lily, I am seriously freaking out right now. Switch us back!”

“I didn’t switch us in the first place! I don’t know how to,” she says, trying and failing to stay calm. Her sister should really stop accusing her before Lily actually decides to hex her.

“Come on, Lily, who else could have done this? You’re the only freak in this family.”

“Will you stop saying that? Please?”

“Well it’s true!”

“Why do you have to insult me at every occasion you get?”

“It’s just the truth! You’re a freak, and you know it. If you’d just act normal—”

“Well I can’t!” Lily explodes. “I can’t just act normal, okay? That’s not how it works, Petunia.”

Petunia huffs, and Lily walks over to her bed before she can say anything else.

“What are you doing?” her sister asks as Lily reaches under her pillow and pulls out her wand.

“Going to try and switch us back,” she replies.

She goes back to stand in front of her sister, who looks at her with a conflicted expression. “I don’t trust you,” Petunia says.

Lily swallows around the lump forming in her throat. “You were screaming at me to do something not two minutes ago.”

Petunia worries her bottom lip, looking up at Lily. The weirdness of this whole situation hits her once more as she stares down into her own green eyes.

“Yes, but who’s to say you’re not going to make this even worse?”

“Well, it’s not like we have much of a choice, is it?” Lily retorts, quirking an eyebrow. “Or do you have a better idea?”

Petunia grinds her teeth, visibly searching for something to say to that, until her shoulders slump, and she deflates. “Fine. But you’re going to regret this sick joke forever.”

Rolling her eyes, Lily lifts her wand. “I told you, I didn’t do anything. Finite Incantatem.” The first try doesn’t work, which she was expecting—this level of magic is a lot more elaborate than a simple jinx she could undo so easily. She tries a simple revealing spell. Nothing happens.

“Go on then, I don’t have all day,” Petunia urges her.

Lily tries again, with something more complicated, to no avail. Something is terribly wrong. Her wand isn’t working.

“It didn’t work,” she says after a third try.

“What do you mean, it didn’t work? Just do it!”

“That was my best guess! I don’t know what to do!” Lily feels her panic start to rise again. She has no idea what’s going on. How is she supposed to fix this? She doesn’t even know what this is!

“Well try again!”

Lily tries again. Nothing changes.

“Is that even a real spell?”

“Yes, Tuney, fuck! Just… Let me think for a second.”

Petunia sighs loudly. “What use is magic if you can’t even fix this?”

“It’s more complicated than just wanting to make something happen, you know.”

“No, I don’t know, because I’m not a freak, actually.”

“Merlin, will you just shut up? I’m trying to think of a solution.”

Of course, Petunia immediately opens her mouth again. “Why can’t you just undo it?”

“I didn’t do it!”

“Then who did?”

“I don’t know! I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know!”

Petunia’s chest starts to rise and fall rapidly. “You have to switch us back, Lily. This isn’t funny. I have things to do.”

“I said, I didn’t do it,” Lily says for what feels like the millionth time.

“I don’t care! This is ridiculous. Fix this, now.”

Think. What could have caused this?

Lily goes to stand in front of her books, looking for anything that might be useful.

“Okay, I have another idea,” she says after a few seconds.

“Hurry up.”

She lifts her wand again and performs as many curse-breaking spells as she can think of, from the simplest to the most complicated she learned.

“It’s not working,” Petunia comments.

“I’m aware,” Lily says through gritted teeth, focusing on her wand.

At first, she thought the first spells just weren’t strong enough. But now she’s starting to think that something is wrong with her magic. She can’t feel her wand like she normally does. There’s no warmth, no tingle. No connection.

“I… I can’t,” she realises.

“What?” her sister asks.

“I can’t,” Lily repeats.

“Can’t what?”

Without replying, Lily turns to her bed and murmurs, “Wingardium leviosa.” Her pillow doesn’t even twitch. Her hand starts to shake and she blinks furiously to repel tears.

“Lily.”

“My magic,” she whispers. “It’s gone.”

“What do you mean, it’s gone?”

Lily turns back around to face her sister. “I mean, it’s gone. I can’t do magic.”

Petunia’s eyes widen. “You’re joking, right?”

A humourless laugh escapes Lily. “Guess your wish finally came true. I’m as normal as can be.”

“No, no, no. You have to switch us back.”

Closing her eyes, Lily tries to think.

“Lily, you have to switch us back.”

“Yeah.”

“Now.”

“I know.”

Neither of them speak for an eternity.

“Well?” Petunia breaks the silence.

“I don’t know,” Lily admits. She slumps down to the floor, wishing she were still warm and cozy in bed.

“We have to do something.” Petunia’s voice—well, Lily’s—is high with distress.

“I guess… I guess we’re gonna have to do some research.”

“We?” Petunia looks down at her, standing so rigidly it hurts Lily just to see it. “I’m not getting involved. This is your freak world. You sort it.”

Before Lily can answer, she walks out of the room, shutting the door loudly.

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Guess your wish finally came true. I’m as normal as can be.

Lily’s words echo in Petunia’s mind. Is it true? Could her sister truly have lost her powers?

“Such great timing,” Petunia mutters.

“Good morning, darling,” her mother calls when she steps into the kitchen. “Did you have fun last night?”

Petunia hums in response, realising too late that her parents think she’s Lily.

“Is your sister up?” her father asks from where he’s sitting at the table, newspaper open in front of him.

“I don’t know,” Petunia mumbles.

“She was quite upset that you left yesterday, you know. But don’t worry, I told her to leave you alone. How are your friends?”

“Good,” Petunia answers.

“Morning,” her own voice comes from behind her, and she turns around to find Lily in the kitchen door frame.

“Good morning, Petunia,” their father greets her.

“Did you sleep well, darling?” their mother asks.

“Yeah,” both Lily and Petunia say at the same time, then look at each other, frowning.

“Good. So, what are everyone’s plans for the day?”

Reality comes crashing back, and Petunia wants to scream. She can’t go around planning her wedding looking like this. What is she going to do?

Lily looks at her with wide eyes and says, “I’m gonna go get dressed,” before heading back out of the kitchen. Petunia reluctantly follows, mumbling that she’s also going to get dressed.

Back in Lily’s room, Petunia finds her sister laying out clothes on the bed.

“You can wear this,” she says when she notices Petunia.

“I can dress myself, thanks,” she replies dryly.

“I just thought… nevermind.” Lily leaves her alone, and Petunia goes to look at the clothes she picked out. A flowy white shirt and purple skirt. One of her less odd outfits.

Petunia quickly strips out of her sister’s pyjamas and dresses herself before going to join her sister in her own room. Lily is wearing one of her dresses, a blue one she doesn’t remember bringing.

“I love this dress,” Lily comments, looking at herself in the mirror. “It brings out your eyes.”

“How are you so calm about this?”

Lily turns to look at her, smiling as she sees Petunia is wearing the outfit she chose for her. “Magic this strong can’t hold for long. Even if we don’t find a way to switch back, it’ll all probably be over quickly.”

“Wait, wait.” Petunia frowns. “You want to just… wait this out?”

“No,” Lily says after a beat, carefully. “But… even if I don’t find a solution today, we’ll probably be back to normal tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Or… I don’t know. Maybe a couple of days—”

“No,” Petunia exclaims. “No, absolutely not. We are switching back today.”

“I’ll do my best, but—”

“No! Today, Lily. I have things to do.”

“I know, Tuney,” Lily snaps. “I have a life too, you know. But stop stressing me, I need to focus.”

“Fine. Go read your freak books or something, I’m gonna go for a walk. This,” she gestures around the room, designating the entire situation, “is too weird. I don’t like it. You better have found a way to fix this when I come back.”

“Wait, don’t—” Lily tries to protest, but Petunia is out of the room before she can finish. She runs down the stairs, slips silently past the kitchen and out of the house.

Outside, the sun is already hot on her bare arms, and she crosses the street to get to the shade. She walks fast, eager to put distance between herself and whatever strangeness seems to permeate her sister’s life. Why is this happening to her? Petunia stops abruptly and closes her eyes, trying to contain the urge to simply throw her arms up and scream.

When she opens her eyes, a dark figure appears on the other side of the road, further down the street. Now is absolutely not the moment to run into a neighbour.

Petunia quickly slips into a small alley on her left, pressing herself against the wall so as not to be noticed. Carefully, she angles herself so she can track the figure’s movements.

She scrunches her nose when the person pushes a strand of long, dark hair behind their ear to reveal their face—Severus Snape.

Oh, she really can’t run into him looking like this.

He walks slowly, wringing his fingers together in front of him, sometimes stopping, seemingly muttering to himself. Weird, but honestly, when has that boy ever not been weird?

Reminiscing the first time she saw him, Petunia’s distaste only grows. He was a sickly looking child, always with greasy hair and a nose way too big for his face. She had noticed him spying on her and Lily several times, and she’d been careful not to let her sister out of sight when she felt his odd presence, but one day Lily went out to play without her as Petunia had to stay inside the house to finish her homework. Severus acted then, worming his way into their life, corrupting Lily with abominable tales and unnatural explanations for her particular abilities.

For years, Petunia tried to make Lily see him for the monster that she knew he was, but her sister never listened. As far as Petunia knows, the two are still friends to this day. She shudders at the thought, grateful to have had the sense to hide before he could see her.

If everyone at Hogwarts is as disturbing as Severus, then Petunia is glad to have escaped it. The thought that Lily has been surrounded by people like him for most of her life, has been made to believe that she’s just like them makes Petunia feel oddly sick.

She’s accepted that the sister she used to know left long ago, replaced by the freak she was taught to be, but somewhere, deep down, it still hurts. She remembers when Lily would look at her with stars in her eyes, like she was magic. She remembers when they were both each other’s world, when nothing mattered outside of the stories they invented together, when they were Princess Rose and Princess Iris. She remembers when Lily didn’t need anyone but her.

Severus stops near their house, hesitating for what feels like an eternity, before finally turning and going back up the road, presumably to his own house.

Strange.

But at least Petunia is now free to continue ruminating on the strangeness of her life as far from her sister as she can get.

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After Petunia leaves her to deal with their… situation on her own for the second time that morning, Lily tries to find something useful in her books. The only thing she comes up with is emotional magic repression. The thing is, it doesn’t exactly match her problem. She loves magic, she’s not ashamed of it, and outside of her sister’s obviously complicated feelings towards the wizarding world, Lily has always thought she had a very healthy relationship to her powers.

Still, it’s the only lead she finds, and after a few hours bent over yellowed pages, she decides it’s best to wait and see if everything is back to normal tomorrow. If not, then she can worry about finding a way to make her wand listen to her again. Now that the sun has fully risen, the heat makes it hard to stay focused anyway, and she finds her thoughts drifting. Checking the clock, she sees it’s indeed been at least two hours since she started working.

Whatever has Petunia been up to this whole time?

Lily gets up and stretches her limbs—she really didn’t sleep enough last night—before making her way downstairs, half hoping to find her sister there.

“Have you seen Tu— Lily?” she asks her dad, catching herself at the last second.

He looks up from the book he’s reading, comfortably seated in one of the garden chairs, and smiles at Lily where her head peaks out of the backdoor.

“Not since this morning, no,” he tells her. “Why?”

Lily shrugs. “Just wandering. I’m gonna go out for a bit.”

“Will you be back for lunch?” her mother asks, appearing behind her.

“Yeah, I’ll try.”

She kisses her mother on the cheek on her way out, then begins to look for Petunia.

The probability that she’ll actually find her is close to nonexistent, but it’s not like she can think of anything else to do. And she needs to keep her mind busy or she’ll probably have a breakdown over the fact that she can’t do magic—the absence of her wand in her hands makes her palms itch.

The streets are full of people dressed in bright colours, summer dresses and short sleeved shirts, hats and sunglasses, highlighting the feeling of summer. As she looks around, trying to take note of anyone with red hair, her eyes catch on a vaguely familiar figure.

Spinning her head around to check again, Lily finds herself staring at Pandora Rosier sitting behind the counter of a thrift shop. Her distinctive white braids are pulled into a bun that shifts every time she moves her head, contrasting with her light brown skin.

Before she realises what she’s doing, Lily is inside the shop. It’s awfully hot in there, with music playing low. The single other customer, who Pandora was talking to, leaves and the girl notices Lily.

“Hello, how can I help you?”

“Er…” Lily remembers belatedly that she looks like her sister. Who Pandora has never met. “Er, I’m looking for someone.”

Pandora hums. “Well, the customer who just left is the only person I’ve seen in hours apart from you, so I doubt I can be of any help. Unless that customer is who you’re looking for. Which wouldn’t make much sense, because then you would’ve found them.”

Lily blinks. “I suppose.” She moves closer to the counter, taking in Pandora’s mushroom earrings and crystal necklace. “I like your jewellery,” she says, trying to sound casual. She’d always found Pandora rather intriguing.

“Thank you,” Pandora replies, beaming. “We have some similar over there, if you want.” She points to a rack on the left.

“Cool.” Lily moves towards it, inspecting the golden chains and stone pendants. Several catch her eye, but she doesn’t have any money on her.

“This one would go well with your eyes,” Pandora’s voice comes from just behind her, making her jump. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I just didn’t hear you.”

Pandora reaches for a necklace with a blue stone in the shape of a drop and plucks it out of the bowl where similar jewellery lies. She hands it to Lily carefully, who traces the delicate patterns on the silver around the stone.

“It’s beautiful,” she agrees, before turning to look at Pandora. “But I actually don’t have any money on me.”

“I can keep it for you, if you like.”

“Oh.” Lily looks at the necklace again, thinking of Remus. She only ever wears gold so as not to accidentally hurt him. “Do you have anything like this in gold?” she asks.

“Let me see… What about this one?”

Pandora hands her another necklace with a similar, darker stone, this one rimmed by gold. Lily purses her lips, debating whether or not to get it.

As if reading her thoughts, Pandora talks again. “I can keep it for you for a few days, and then if you decide you don’t want it, I’ll just put it back. You can take your time to decide.”

“Alright,” Lily agrees, and she follows Pandora back to the counter.

“What’s your name?”

Lily blurts the first thing that comes to her mind. “Iris.”

“Nice to meet you, Iris. I’m Pandora.”

“Nice to meet you, too.”

“Did you want to look at anything else?”

Remembering she told her mother she’d be back for lunch, Lily decides it’s time to head home. “No, that’s alright. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Pandora gives her a warm smile that makes her eyes crinkle at the corners. “I hope to see you again soon.”

Lily smiles back at her. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I’ll come back.”

“Alright. Well, until next time, then!”

“Goodbye, Pandora.”

When she’s back in the street, the sun is bright but not as hot as the atmosphere inside the shop. Poor Pandora, having to work in such conditions.

It’s only then that Lily realises how strange it is for the girl to be working in a muggle thrift shop. She doesn’t know her very well, but they have enough friends in common that she knows Pandora and her sister are from a wealthy pureblood family. Which begs the question: why is she here? And didn’t Regulus say they were gone on holidays with their parents?

Chapter Text

By the time Lily gets back home, she’s starting to get hungry, and her tired brain keeps circling back to Petunia’s hurtful words from earlier. She really hopes her sister will listen to what she has to say. If she can even find her.

It turns out that Lily doesn’t need to keep looking—Petunia is helping their mother deck the table in the garden when she arrives. She doesn’t look at Lily, just keeps working silently. Lily joins them, bringing glasses and water out.

“Thank you, my darlings,” their mother says. “I’ll go and fetch your father.”

Silence follows as she heads inside the house, leaving the two sisters alone. Petunia pulls out a chair, and Lily sits opposite her.

“Where did you go?” she asks quietly.

Petunia finally looks up at her, narrowing her eyes. “None of your business.”

They don’t say anything more until their parents arrive, and barely contribute to the conversation during the meal.

“What do you think?” their mother asks. “I tried a new recipe.”

“Barbara, this is delicious!” their father exclaims.

“Oh, you’re too sweet. What about you, girls?”

“It’s very good,” Petunia says, though she’s barely touched her plate.

“I love it,” Lily agrees.

“Lily, dear, are you not hungry?” their father asks.

Petunia doesn’t answer. She has a faraway look on her face and scowls when Lily kicks her lightly under the table.

She blinks, then turns to their father. “I’m sorry?”

“I just asked if—”

“Leave her alone, Paul,” their mother interrupts, swatting their father’s arm lightly. “She doesn’t need any encouragement to eat more.”

Her sister looks at her, frowning slightly, and Lily imperceptibly shakes her head, biting her tongue. She doesn’t finish her plate.

After everything has been brought back inside, Lily pulls her sister to the side.

“Can we talk?”

“Fine,” Petunia agrees, leading them upstairs.

Once they’re safely out of their parents’ earshot in Lily’s bedroom, Lily is suddenly at a loss for words.

“Well?” Petunia prompts.

Lily sighs heavily. “I don’t know. I don’t know what’s happening.”

Her sister continues to simply stare at her.

“I think we can hope that everything will be back in order tomorrow, and if not, I’ll probably have my magic back. I might just be too tired or stressed or something.”

“Right. But what are we supposed to do in the meantime?”

Lily starts pacing. “Maybe we should consider telling the parents—”

“Absolutely not,” Petunia interrupts.

“Why not?” Lily frowns.

“We are not telling anyone about this, do you hear me? I don’t want anyone to associate me with your world of freaks.”

“Merlin, we just keep going in circles,” Lily mutters.

“Lily, I’m serious. People will just think we’re mad! Nobody would believe us.”

Well, that’s a good point. “Okay,” she relents. “Okay, we don’t tell anyone.”

“Good.” Petunia nods, then widens her eyes in horror. “No.”

“What is it?” Lily asks, the growing unease making her stomach churn.

“I’m supposed to have dinner with Vernon’s family tonight.”

Shit. “Can’t you cancel?”

Shaking her head, Petunia slowly sits down on the edge of the bed. “You’re going to have to go instead of me.”

“Tuney, no. No, no no,” Lily repeats, growing more desperate as her sister keeps looking at her with the same closed off expression. “I can’t.”

“You have to.”

“Please!”

“Lily, you have to. I’m going to marry him.” Petunia gets up again and walks up to her, stopping a mere inches away. “This isn’t about you.” Even though Petunia is now shorter than her, Lily still takes a step back, cowering under the sharpness of her sister’s words. “This dinner is incredibly important. You better not mess this up for me.”

“Petunia, I can’t go. Can’t you see it’s a recipe for disaster?”

“Come on, I’m sure you can survive one night with them.”

“I—”

“Please. Lily.”

Petunia looks up at her with big, pleading eyes, and it’s more than Lily can take. Swallowing her pride, she nods. If it’s this important to Petunia, then it’s the least she can do to prove to her sister that she actually cares about her.

“You’ll have to change.”

Lily looks down at the dress she’s wearing. “What’s wrong with this?”

Petunia rolls her eyes, as if Lily is missing something terribly obvious and important.

“You’re going to have to pretend to be me,” she enunciates exaggeratedly, like she’s explaining something to a small child. “And have dinner with my soon-to-be in-laws. You can’t go looking like that .”

With a sigh, Lily accepts her fate. “Alright. What do you need me to wear then?”

Tutting, Petunia heads for the door. “Let’s go to my room,” she calls over her shoulder, and Lily follows her down the hallway.

“You’re wearing this,” Petunia tells her, pulling out a red piece of fabric from her suitcase. It’s a long dress that looks barely a few inches wide.

“Can you actually breathe in this?” Lily questions, looking at the piece of clothing wearily. She knows her sister is skinnier than she is, but this seems like a bit of a stretch.

“Yes, it fits me fine.” Petunia rolls her eyes again, and gestures for Lily to try it on.

“What, right now?”

“Come on. Don’t be shy. I’m your sister.”

Somehow, the words sound both sweet and sour in Petunia’s mouth. Lily is not getting used to hearing her sister talk to her with her own voice, and to talking back using Petunia’s.

“No, I just— Fine.”

She takes the blue dress off and takes the red one from Petunia’s hands, managing to squeeze into it. It’s a bit tight, but it’s not as bad as she feared it would be.

“And you’re going to have to practice walking in heels,” Petunia says when she turns to look at her, holding out a pair of elegant looking black heels. It’s all Lily can do to hold back a groan.

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Though she’d never admit it, it’s been a long time since Petunia has had so much fun. Lily isn’t particularly thrilled at first—she hates the Dursleys, she hates wearing heels, she hates Petunia. So it makes sense that doing something that involves all three has her sighing and slumping. Not complaining directly, of course not, she’s too perfect for that, but still making it clear that she’d rather be doing quite literally anything else.

But for Petunia? This is almost like being a kid again, except this time, the story she’s telling isn’t imaginary, and the stakes are much more real.

Her sister has to successfully pretend to be her for one entire evening, while surrounded by Vernon’s family. And not do anything that could compromise Petunia. She can’t jeopardise the wedding.

So Petunia spends the afternoon giving Lily lessons. She shows her how to walk properly in heels, how to handle herself at the table, what kind of comments she can or can’t make. She teaches her everything—or at least, as much as she can in just one day—about normal society and muggle family gatherings. The Dursleys are everything that Lily isn’t and that Petunia needs: normal, traditional, unoriginal. The opposite of the freak world her sister has been living in for the past seven years.

“And don’t laugh too loudly.”

Lily looks at her with a mixed expression of despair and incredulousness. “Don’t laugh too loudly?”

“Don’t laugh too loudly,” Petunia repeats. “Laugh like a lady.”

“What does that even mean?”

For probably the millionth time in the last hour, Petunia rolls her eyes. “Don’t be daft. A lady’s laugh should be delicate, discreet, charming.”

“Charming?” Lily levels her with the most unimpressed face Petunia has ever seen on—well, her own face.

“Yes, Lily, charming. That should be right up your alley, shouldn’t it?”

Lily takes in a sharp breath. “Don’t joke.”

“Come on, you can go a couple of days without your wand. Live like the rest of us for a bit.”

“Tuney, I…” She drifts off, looking around the room like she’s searching for what she should say next. “I’m scared,” she admits, eyes sinking to the floor.

“Oh,” Petunia breathes, a little stunned.

“I just… I feel so naked without my magic. I feel like everything is too raw.”

Petunia blinks, not really knowing what to say. She’d never thought about what magic felt like before, just about what it could do. She tries to imagine the sensation of it, a power inside of her that could make objects move without touching them and every unrealistic fantasy come true with a swish of her wrist.

What must it feel like, to be able to turn a piece of paper into a bird? To soar through the air on a broom, to defy the laws of gravity? To make flowers grow out of the palm of her hand?

Lily’s words break her out of her reverie. “And I know, rationally, that this is going to work out, somehow. Everything will probably be back to normal by tomorrow. But it’s so odd not to be able to just… do magic. Even if I don’t usually use it all of the time, I know that I can. But now, it’s just… gone. I can’t feel it.”

“Lily. It’s going to be fine,” Petunia tells her. She’s not sure why. Maybe because for once, the hurt in Lily’s voice isn’t caused by her, and that’s somehow unbearable.

Lily clears her throat, looking back up and meeting Petunia’s gaze with watery eyes. “Yeah.”

“Okay, so.” Petunia shakes her head, as if to rid it of all this sentimentality. “Let’s revise everyone’s occupations again.”

“Wait. Shouldn’t you tell me more about, er, Vernon?”

Petunia frowns slightly. “What do you mean?”

Lily shifts on her feet, looking a bit sheepish. “Like, your relationship. Shouldn’t I know what you two usually talk about? How you act towards each other?”

The way she phrases her question makes Petunia’s skin crawl, something like discomfort taking place in the pit of her stomach. “He’ll probably expect you to kiss him, but it’s fine if you don’t, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Oh. Er… Well, good to know,” Lily says, furrowing her brows and looking more serious. “But I meant more, like… what brought you two together in the first place? What do you have in common?”

“We met at work.” Under her sister’s insistent gaze, Petunia searches for something else to say, but her mind is suddenly blank. “He’s… We…” she starts, but she has nothing to add. 

“How did you start dating?” Lily asks after a painfully awkward silence.

Petunia focuses on the question, forcing herself to come up with words to answer. “Right. Er… I guess we all went out with our colleagues a couple times, and then he asked me on a date. And I said yes.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“Well, what did you do? How did it go?” Lily presses.

“It was fine. He took me to a restaurant. We just… talked about life, you know?”

“That’s it?” Lily frowns, looking almost… disappointed? But Petunia isn’t sure why. “Or maybe you could tell me why you decided to get married?”

Petunia cringes at the memory. “Oh. It was after…” She stops and averts her eyes. Lily waits for her to continue. “It was after I told him about you. We were in a serious relationship, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret forever, so… He took it rather well, all things considered. And we both wanted the same things out of life, so it made sense to get married.”

“And what’s that?” Lily asks.

“What?”

“The things you want out of life.”

Simple things, really. A house. A stable job. Children.

“Normalcy,” Petunia tells her, meeting her gaze again. Lily nods slowly, taking in all of the information. “Any more invasive questions?”

“No. And I’m sorry, but I do feel like I should know these things if I’m going to act like you tonight. Thank you for telling me.”

Petunia gives a noncommittal huff as response, but she’s secretly glad that for once, her sister actually seems to listen to her when she talks about her life.

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The afternoon with Petunia is awful. If Lily thought that spending more time together would help them reconnect before, she definitely doesn’t now. Her sister takes every opportunity to make fun of her, and when Lily tries to ask questions to understand her relationship with Vernon better, Petunia closes in on herself like flower petals during the night.

Normalcy.

That’s what Petunia said she and Vernon want out of life. Lily can’t help but think that’s not the best basis for a relationship. How terribly boring.

Then again, maybe Lily isn’t the best person to give relationship advice. She did break up with her perfect boyfriend for no apparent reason, after all. She just… Dating James wasn’t like she thought it would be. She did love him—she loves all of her friends—but she didn’t feel like other people said they did when they were in a relationship.

At first, she thought it would just come with time. But when weeks turned into months and kissing James still felt oddly displeasant, Lily decided to be honest, both with herself and James. In the end, their breakup was very anticlimactic, and they seamlessly slipped back into being friends. Everything was just like before—minus James flirting and asking her out every occasion he got. But Lily did miss having someone to rely on at all times. James was always so supportive, so attentive. It was hard to accept they weren’t meant to be.

Lily blinks and focuses on the present again.

She and Petunia came downstairs when they heard the bell ring, just in time to see their mother opening the door to Vernon.

“Have fun, my darling,” her mother says as Lily walks to the door.

“See you tomorrow,” Petunia calls, her eyes flashing with one last warning. Don’t ruin this for me, Lily can practically hear her say.

“Bye,” Lily says with what she hopes is a reassuring smile before the door is closed behind her, and she’s alone with Vernon Dursley. Great. This is about to be a particularly unpleasant evening, Lily can already tell.

Vernon opens the door to the passenger seat of his car for her and she climbs in. They drive in silence, which she’s grateful for. She doesn’t know how much patience she has in her for the Dursleys—it’s safer to assume she’ll need all of it to make it through dinner.

“Here we are,” Vernon says as he pulls up in front of the house his family is renting. “Shall we?”

“Yeah.”

Lily unbuckles her seatbelt and gets out of the car, holding onto the wine bottle she brought as a gift like it’s a portkey that will get her out of this if she keeps it close. They walk up to the door, Vernon’s hand coming to rest on her lower back in a gesture he seems to do without thinking while it has Lily forcing herself to keep breathing and not punch him.

They step into the house and are immediately greeted by a swarm of bulldogs, jumping and wagging their tails, a few even barking.

“Marge! The dogs,” Vernon calls as Lily reaches down to pet them and coax them out of their way.

“Have a heart, Vernon, don’t be mean to them,” Marjorie says, appearing in the hallway. “Petunia, hi!”

“Hello,” Lily replies, straightening again.

Vernon shoes the dogs away—or tries to anyway—and leads her to an already decked dinner table.

“Mother’s in the kitchen,” Marjorie informs him, “and father’s still working. He said to call him when you arrive, so I’ll go and get him.”

“Alright.”

Marjorie disappears again, and Vernon turns back to Lily. “You can put the wine on the table, dear,” he tells her, not unkindly. It feels very odd to see this side of him, a side she’s never seen before; he almost seems pleasant.

Lily reluctantly sets the bottle down. She doesn’t know what to do with her suddenly empty hands. “Did you have a good day?” she asks, before the silence becomes too awkward.

“It was alright. I—”

He’s cut off by Marjorie reentering the room, Henry Dursley in tow.

“Dear Petunia, good evening,” he greets Lily. They share a quick handshake that leaves Lily feeling even more out of place. “Where’s your mother?” he asks Marjorie. “Grace?” he calls without waiting for an answer, moving towards what Lily guesses to be the kitchen. “Grace, Petunia is here.”

“Oh, Petunia, I’m sorry,” Grace Dursley says, following her husband back into the dining room. “I didn’t hear you come in, what with the dogs, and… Well, anyway, I am glad to have you with us tonight.” She smiles at her, making wrinkles appear all over her face.

“Thank you for inviting me,” Lily replies, forcing herself to smile back.

“Of course, of course. You’re going to be our daughter-in-law, after all.”

Vernon beams at the statement, and Lily has the absolute urge to run. Away from this man, this house, this family. Away from their dressing code and table manners and ridiculous conventions, away from their outdated worldview and soporific conversation, away from this life she cannot believe her sister is willingly signing up for.

But she promised Petunia to behave, and it’s not her place to make decisions for her. So Lily takes a deep breath in, and gets ready to turn her mind off during dinner.

It all runs surprisingly smoothly, the Dursleys keeping a dull conversation going that she does her best to ignore so as not to get worked up, until dessert. At this point, Lily’s feet are starting to hurt from the shoes Petunia wanted her to wear and she’s feeling a little claustrophobic in her tight red dress.

She excuses herself from the table and locks herself in the bathroom for three and a half minutes, catching her breath and trying to focus on positive things.

When she comes back, Vernon asks her, “Petunia, what do you think of Donald?”

“Donald?”

“Yes,” Grace says excitedly, “the name. What do you think of it?”

Lily frowns as she sits back down, reaching for her drink. “What for?”

“Your children, of course,” Henry replies casually.

Her clumsiness is to blame for what follows.

Lily spits her drink and coughs, choking on air, then knocks the wine bottle over when she tries to put her glass back on the table, making Grace squeal in surprise. The sudden noise makes the dogs start barking again, jumping everywhere and almost threatening to tip the table over. Marjorie tries to calm them down while Vernon grabs napkins to wipe the wine off Lily’s dress. Grace laments over the state of the table, telling her husband off for helping himself to some cake while the rest of them deal with the mess.

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After giving Lily her most threatening look as she was leaving with Vernon, Petunia helps their mother prepare dinner. Luckily, this is something Lily has always enjoyed doing “the muggle way” so it doesn’t appear suspicious that she doesn’t use magic for it.

During dinner, Petunia barely manages to eat anything. She can’t stop obsessing over how Lily is going to act tonight at the Dursleys’. Not to mention, the closer to nighttime it gets, the more anxious she grows at the thought of what might happen in her sleep. Will they swap back tonight? But even if they do, who’s to say it won’t happen again?

“Darling, are you sure you’re alright? You barely ate at lunch, and you’re not eating any more tonight,” her dad notices.

“Just not hungry,” Petunia lies.

“That’s okay, sweetie,” her mother says. “Don’t force yourself.”

“Well you should eat a little more,” her dad adds with a sideways glance towards her mother.

“Oh, don’t be dramatic, Paul. Look at her, she’s clearly not starving!”

“Barbara, please. Just because Lily doesn’t look like her sister doesn’t mean she doesn’t need to eat at every meal.”

Petunia puts her fork down, feeling sick. “I’m fine, dad.” Her voice comes out flat. “Just not hungry,” she repeats. “May I be excused?”

“Sure, darling.”

As she walks away, she hears her mother and father start to argue in hushed tones. She hurries up the stairs to her room, where she collapses on her bed. Her stomach aches, from anxiety no doubt. She wonders how Lily can take their mother’s comments all the time. Although it's not like Lily is here all year round, she reminds herself. Besides, their mother isn’t wrong. Lily could afford to restrain herself a little more, like Petunia does. And if that’s the cost of the praise she gets for being a witch, then maybe it isn’t so unbearable.

Petunia huffs and shakes her head, unwilling to think about it any further.

Instead, she decides to go into her sister’s room and see if she can find anything indicating how they came to find themselves in the wrong bodies this morning. Petunia finds the books Lily picked out spread out on her desk, a few on the floor. One of them is propped open on the bed. Moving closer, she makes out the chapter title: Repressing magic, from exhaustion to Obscurials.

Petunia carefully picks the book up, remembering the time one of her sister’s books tried to attack her when she had wanted to surreptitiously borrow it. That was the last time she had let herself show any interest in the wizarding world.

Thankfully, this book appears to behave like a normal inanimate object. Before she can start reading though, Petunia stops. What exactly is she doing? Reading about magic, really?

No. She promised herself a long time ago to forget about it. That world doesn’t want her. So she doesn’t want it.

She drops the book back on the bed, and that’s when her eye catches it. The tip of Lily’s wand, peeking out from under her pillow.

Petunia’s breath inexplicably catches, and she glances around self consciously. But there’s no one here. Only her.

Slowly, she walks towards the head of the bed. She stands there for what could be hours.

Finally, unable to resist the mysterious pull behind her navel any longer, Petunia reaches out with trembling fingers and touches the wand.

A strange tingle runs up her hand, her arm, through her body, awakening something in her she feels had been slumbering for centuries. Something she hadn’t ever suspected was in her before. Warmth spreads from the very core of her being, and sparks go off in her brain.

Inhaling deeply, Petunia pulls the wand out from under the pillow and takes it firmly in her hand. The warmth intensifies where she holds onto the piece of wood.

An incredulous laugh escapes her then. She can feel it. She can feel it.

The magic.

She can finally feel it.

Mind reeling, she looks around the room with wide eyes, as if an answer to the million questions she’s now asking herself will appear. Her gaze lands on the mirror, and Petunia goes to stand before it. The reflection still shows her a different body, green eyes and red hair. Lily.

Anger simmers under her skin, and she wants to put the wand down and stop this madness before it all becomes much more complicated than it already is. But it’s like she isn’t in control of herself anymore, like she’s a doll someone else is playing with, making her go back to the bookshelf by the side of the bed and search for a beginner’s magic textbook.

She doesn’t manage any of the spells she tries.

But she feels the connection to the wand, feels magic flowing through her and trying to make objects move, without knowing how to fully control it.

After another failed attempt at making a book levitate, Petunia throws the wand in frustration, sinks to the floor and buries her face in her hands.

What the hell am I doing?

That settles it. She is never going to dream about being a witch anymore.

Even in her freak of a sister’s body, with her natural abilities, the magic doesn’t want her. Tears prick her eyes, which Petunia wipes roughly.

She is not going to cry over this silly childhood dream.

It’s over—it was over before it even began. She’s given up on it years ago, she’s always known it was ridiculous. So Petunia swallows her humiliation down and straightens back up. She picks the wand up, ignoring how good it feels in her hand, and puts it back under the pillow.

Then she gets changed into Lily’s pyjamas, turns the light off, and settles into her sister’s bed. With a little luck, she’ll be in her own bed, in her own body when she wakes up tomorrow. That’s all that matters.

Petunia tosses and turns for a long time, unable to let go of the tension keeping her awake, buzzing with anticipation. And when she finally does fall asleep, she dreams of magic.

Chapter Text

When she wakes the next morning, Petunia finds herself in her sister’s bed. She’s momentarily disoriented, before the events of the previous day catch up to her again. She throws the thick cover off her, jumping out of the bed and running to the mirror.

Green eyes, red hair, Lily.

She’s still in her sister’s body.

Well. Somehow, Petunia isn’t that surprised. She is starting to get worried, though. How are they going to fix this?

Before she can fully panic, the door opens slowly, and Lily—or so she assumes, as she’s still in Petunia’s body—comes into the room.

“We didn’t switch back,” Petunia states the obvious.

Lily purses her lips and nods, looking defeated.

“So, what now?”

“I guess I need to do more serious research,” Lily whispers.

Petunia hums, frustration quickly turning into irritation. “Well, how did the dinner go last night?”

“Er, fine…” Lily doesn’t elaborate.

“Really?” Petunia asks sceptically.

“You don’t have to sound so surprised. I’m not some recluse, you know, I know how to behave around people.”

“Right.”

Lily coughs, and her eyes shift to the side when she adds, “I spilled some wine on your dress.”

Petunia’s rising anger doesn’t need anything more to burst. “You what?” she seethes.

“I’m sorry,” Lily rushes to say, “but I don’t think it’ll stain, and it was rather tight anyway, so…”

“Oh, so it’s fine that you potentially ruined one of my favourite dresses?”

“Merlin, Petunia, it was red wine! On a red dress! It’ll be fine!”

“Oh, just leave, Lily. I can’t look at you like this.”

“Fine.”

And with that, Petunia is alone again.

She gets dressed, trying to calm herself. Of course she’s not really that upset about the dress. It’s just that Lily always makes her feel like she’s blowing everything out of proportions, and it drives her insane. If Lily hadn’t immediately made it to be something negligible, Petunia wouldn’t have felt the need to defend her right to be angry.

No one can get under your skin quite like a sister.

Oh, no. That expression is decidedly not funny in their current situation.

Petunia decides to just ignore Lily for the foreseeable future. The less they talk, the easier it is to remain somewhat clear headed, and unless Lily has a breakthrough on how to switch their bodies back, there’s really nothing to be talked about anyway.

In the afternoon, as Petunia lazily makes her way inside after having spent too much time in the heat of the garden, the doorbell rings.

She opens the door to find two girls grinning, who she recognises from the photograph on Lily’s bedside table. The dark-skinned one steps inside and pulls her into a hug, catching Petunia by surprise.

“Surprise,” the blond girl says from where she stands in the doorway.

“Marlene apparently needs to talk to us, so we’re kidnapping you,” the first one explains as she pulls back from the hug.

“Er…” Petunia tries to protest, but she can’t think of anything to say before her mother’s voice comes from behind her.

“Oh, hi girls! Are you all going out?”

“Yes! Unless you had plans with Lily?”

“Not at all, you go have fun!”

“Wait, but—” Petunia tries again, but it’s too late. Lily’s friends are pulling her out, and her mother closes the door behind them.

Well. This is decidedly not what Petunia wanted to happen today. Or any other day, for that matter.

“Shall we go to that park you like?” the girl Petunia guesses is called Marlene suggests.

“Oh, yes, good idea!” the dark-skinned girl jumps in.

Petunia stays silent as the three of them walk to the park she and Lily used to play at when they were little, the two other girls chattering and laughing easily.

“Can we go into the shade?” Petunia finally opens her mouth to say when they arrive at their destination. “I didn’t bring any sunscreen, and I don’t want to get sunburned.”

“Just use a sun protecting spell,” Marlene replies, settling on the sunbathed grass.

Petunia opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, not knowing how she should react. She settles on, “I didn’t bring my wand.”

Both of the girls look at her like she’s just grown a second head. “Solis Repellere,” Marlene whispers, discreetly waving a wand at Petunia after having looked around, probably making sure no other muggles would notice. “There you go. I can’t believe you forgot your wand.” Petunia shrugs, feeling an odd coolness cling to her skin. It’s not unpleasant.

She and the other girl sit down with Marlene, forming a small circle. She takes the opportunity to look at them more closely. Marlene has freckles on her face, less so than Lily but more than Petunia usually does in her own body. Her eyes shine blue in the sunlight, crinkling at the corners as she smiles. The other girl has a beautiful, round face, with full lips and long, black lashes.

“Ugh, Mary, stop looking at me like that!” Marlene exclaims after a short silence.

“What?” the dark-skinned girl replies—Petunia is relieved to know her name now. “I’m curious to hear what you have to say. It sounded important enough in your letter.”

“I know, I know, I’ll tell you. Just… Give me a second to get my shit together.”

Mary rolls her eyes and Petunia stays silent, looking between the two friends and feeling like an intruder.

“Right. So,” Marlene starts, “Lily, I wanted to talk to you and Mary about something.” Petunia turns her attention to her fully, her curiosity piqued. “Er… So you know how Remus and Sirius are dating?”

“Oh my heavens, yes!” Mary all but shouts. “Did you guys ever suspect…?”

Petunia’s eyes widen. She has no idea how she’s supposed to react.

“Well… That’s the thing,” Marlene continues. “Back in… What was it? Fourth year? Fifth year? Anyway, doesn’t matter. Remus and I kissed.”

“What?”

“And… It made me realise… I don’t like boys.”

Oh.

“Oh,” Mary says.

Marlene takes a shuddering breath, and smiles at them tentatively. “I like girls.”

Petunia blinks. This summer just keeps getting weirder and weirder.

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After Lily had tried everything she could think of to make her wand work, to no avail, she cried silently. She’d spent half the day in a panicked frenzy, but right then, she just felt exhausted. Bone weary. She didn’t have a single clue as to what was going on, and she hated it.

She needed to get out.

Which is why she now finds herself in front of the thrift shop she met Pandora in yesterday. She hesitates for a few seconds, not really knowing what she’s doing here. Pandora doesn’t know that Lily is Lily, and even if she did, they’re not exactly friends. More like… acquaintances. They don’t really know each other—they know of each other. Still, it feels reassuring to be around a friendly face, and Lily steps into the store.

Inside, it’s even hotter than it was the previous day, making it hard to think straight.

“Iris, hi!” Pandora calls from behind the counter when she sees Lily. “I was hoping I’d see you here again soon.”

“Hi, Pandora,” Lily replies, mirroring the other girl’s smile. “I came with money, this time.”

“Ah, yes, that’s usually recommended when you want to buy things.”

Lily lifts her purse sheepishly. “So, you still got that necklace for me?”

“Of course I do,” Pandora assures her, shooting her a wink before ducking down behind the counter. Lily feels her cheeks flush, supposedly from the heat. Pandora emerges back, holding a tray full of jewellery. “Let’s see… Ah, there it is.” She holds up the golden chain with the dark blue stone she helped Lily pick yesterday, grinning. “I’m glad you decided to get it. It’ll look beautiful on you.”

“Thank you.” Lily is glad she saved up on her birthday money, as the necklace is a bit expensive—but the inexplicable joy she feels when Pandora closes it around her neck from behind is definitely worth it. “I love it,” she breathes, looking in a small mirror.

Just then, the door opens to let in a gust of fresh air and a customer.

“Hey, Panda,” the newcomer says. Lily can’t quite make out his features, the sun filtering in from behind him a little blinding.

“Hi, Ev,” Pandora replies, apparently recognising him. “You’re a bit early, I still have twenty minutes before the end of my shift.”

“I know, but I was bored. Figured I’d come keep you company.”

“Alright, but don’t touch anything.”

The so-called Ev steps further into the shop, and Lily takes in a sharp breath when she sees his face. He looks… he looks exactly like—

“Iris, this is my brother, Evan,” Pandora introduces him.

“Your brother,” Lily repeats, a little stunned.

“Twin brother,” Evan clarifies. Sure enough, he has the same almond eyes as Pandora, the same high cheekbones and smooth looking skin. The only difference at first glance is their hair, Evan’s braids being shorter than his sister’s. “Sorry, I didn’t see you from the entrance. Didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Twin brother. Twin brother? But… Pandora has a twin sister.

Before Lily can blurt a question she probably shouldn’t, Pandora talks again. “Did you want to look at anything else, Iris?”

“Oh, er… No, thank you.” Scrambling to piece her brain back together, Lily tries to sound nonchalant as she asks, “Do you guys live in the neighbourhood? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.”

The twins exchange a quick glance before Pandora answers. “Yeah, we just moved here.”

“Oh, really? Well, I hope you like it here. Most people are nice.” Lily acts as normal as she can, mind running a mile a minute. What in the name of Godric is going on?

“You know, actually, maybe you could help us. We wanted to do something fun today, but we don’t really know what there is to do around here.”

“Er… not much, apart from the cinema.”

The twins exchange another nervous glance. “The… the cinema?” Evan asks.

Right, shit. They’re pureblood wizards, you idiot, Lily internally scolds herself. Of course they don’t know what the cinema is. Except they don’t know that Lily knows, because she’s still in Petunia’s body—she’s still ‘Iris’. They think she’s just a random muggle. How did she get herself into this mess?

Before she can think better of it, she says, “Yeah, I can take you, if you like.” She does need a good distraction from her life right now.

After another eye contact between the twins, Evan coughs, and Pandora nods. “Yeah. Thank you, Iris, that would be lovely.”

They chat for a little while, and then head towards the cinema when Pandora’s shift ends. It’s a little odd, seeing as they don’t know that Lily is Lily, and are pretending to be muggles—while being quite obviously curious about the most mundane things. But it’s quite nice to see them like this, outside of Hogwarts.

After her initial surprise, Lily has adapted to Evan being a boy much quicker than she thought she would. He mostly looks like he did before, albeit a bit more masculine. The Roser twins have always had an androgynous look about them, Lily remembers.

And although she’s never been particularly close to them, it’s comforting, in a way, to be around people who she knows she has friends and experiences in common with.

Evan and Pandora are both swept up in the film as soon as it starts, mouths slightly parted in awe. It’s rather adorable, Lily thinks.

After, they talk over each other, gesticulating animatedly, eyes alight and full of wonder.

“How does it even work?”

“The story was mental—”

“Now I want to go to space—

“I mean, whoever came up with that has a very vivid imagination—”

It’s the most Lily has ever heard Evan say, and she’s a bit taken aback by his loud laughter and how fast he talks. He always seemed so shy at Hogwarts, quiet and withdrawn compared to his sister’s more extravagant personality.

Pandora giggles when he comments on who the most attractive character was according to him. “Han Solo. It’s not even a question.”

“Hmm, I don’t know. I rather liked the princess. What about you, Iris?”

Lily blinks, mouth going dry as she realises they’re both waiting for her to give her opinion. “Oh, er… I didn’t really pay attention to that. Too swept up in the action.”

Evan hums knowingly, and Pandora looks at her in a way that makes Lily feel like she sees right through her.

“Well, it’s gotten late. I should probably go home now,” Lily says.

Pandora looks a bit put out at that. “Oh, alright. But you should come by the store again, yeah? Maybe we could go to the cinema together again?”

“Sure. Yeah, I’d like that.”

Lily waves at the twins before rounding a corner, somehow feeling much less like her life is ending than she did before.

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Petunia spends several hours in the park with Mary and Marlene. She doesn’t know exactly how long, but Marlene renews the sun protection spell on her twice.

The girls are nothing like Severus Snape.

They’re loud, for one. They chat incessantly, laugh freely, scream when they get into a tickling match. They share gossip about people Petunia doesn’t know and shouldn’t care about, but she finds herself invested nonetheless. Mary could probably draw a chart of everyone’s relationships at Hogwarts, and Marlene tries to guess the reasons behind each breakup.

They make Petunia laugh.

She doesn’t have time to question it though, because the conversation keeps going, flowing easily and jumping to random topics like it only can between people who are completely at ease with each other.

The three girls link arms when they walk back to the Evans’ house, cheeks flushed by the heat and the joy and the youth. Petunia’s head is spinning slightly, she has no idea how she got here—spending an afternoon with witches and actually having fun. Mary and Marlene are actually rather… normal. Sure, their swear words are funny, and they don’t use real sunscreen, but really they’re just like any other teenagers.

That’s not something Petunia knows how to face just yet, so she doesn’t. Doesn’t acknowledge it. She focuses on the facts, and pushes any conclusions to be drawn from them to the side. Puts them in a box labelled “for later” in a dark corner of her mind, and that’s that. It’s a warm summer day, and she had a nice time hanging out with two young girls. Nothing more to it.

“Call me if you’re free to meet up soon, alright?” Mary tells her as the house comes into view. “I don’t want to stay cooped up in the apartment all summer.”

Petunia nods, though she doubts she’ll ever see Mary again.

“Well, it’s been lovely, girlies, but I have to go,” Marlene announces. “I have a date.”

“What? With who?” Mary exclaims.

Marlene mimes zipping her lips, grinning.

“Have fun,” Petunia puts in before Mary explodes.

“No, come on, Marls, you can’t do this to me! I need to know!”

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist, I’ll tell you eventually. Just… not yet.”

“Alright,” Mary grumbles, then turns back to Petunia. “You okay with your sister, by the way?”

Well, that’s awkward. “Oh, er… it’s fine.” Petunia isn’t sure what she means by that, but she also has no idea what Lily would say in this situation.

“Okay. Call me if you need anything, yeah?”

“And I’m just an owl away,” Marlene adds.

Petunia nods, and is caught a little off guard when the two girls pull her into a tight hug before saying goodbye.

“There you are, darling,” her mother greets her. “Go and get your sister, the Dursleys are about to arrive.”

Shit. Petunia had completely forgotten about this dinner.

She takes the stairs two at a time, and finds Lily in her room.

“Where were you all afternoon?” she asks.

Petunia purses her lips and bites her tongue before answering. “Out.”

Lily looks at her suspiciously, but doesn’t press. “Well, why didn’t you tell me about the Dursleys coming over for dinner tonight?”

“Honestly, I completely forgot about it. Mum’s organising, and it’s at home, so there isn’t as much to think about.”

“Right, except for the fact that I’m still in your body!”

Petunia fights the urge to roll her eyes. “It’ll be fine, Lily. You managed it last night, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. Shut your mouth and look pretty, right?”

Petunia does roll her eyes then. “Come on, mum said to go downstairs.” She turns on her heels and makes her way back down without checking to see if her sister is following.

It isn’t long before her fiancé, his parents, and his sister arrive. Greetings are awkward—Petunia is Lily and Lily is Petunia, and neither of them knows how to act. Honestly, Petunia isn’t even sure how she would act if she were in her own body right now.

Everyone gets seated, and Petunia finds herself between her father and Marjorie, while Lily sits opposite her, between Vernon and his father. The sisters exchange a look, and Petunia wonders if they actually understand each other. She wants to say, stay calm. Do this for me, please. I want to marry him. In Lily’s gaze, those blue eyes that normally belong to Petunia, she only recognises boredom.

Dinner is excruciating.

Marjorie babbles about her bulldogs without even letting Petunia reply, making her wonder how she’s even breathing between the words falling out of her mouth and the food she keeps shoveling in.

Lily looks stiff next to Vernon, who steals Petunia odd glances. She tries to act unbothered, but the only thing she can focus on is her plate, and that’s not the best distraction. At least her mother is too far away to make any comments about Lily’s body tonight.

The atmosphere is stifling, and the four parents’ conversation mind numbingly boring. Thank God for the wine, Petunia thinks as she finishes her glass, and her father refills it. She lets her mind wander. It’s not like she’s an active part of this event anyway, not while she looks like her sister. If she were in her own body right now, she’d want Lily to make herself discreet, so that’s exactly what she does.

She’ll have to spend so many evenings in the Dursleys’ company, once she and Vernon are married. So many boring dinners, the thought comes unbidden to mind.

But they’re normal, she reminds herself. They’re safe.

She will be safe.

It’s everything she’s ever needed, it checks all the points on her list of things she’s looking for. And that’s all that matters.

Petunia knows boredom. The dullness she sees reflected back to her in her sister’s eyes whenever Lily shoots her a look during dinner. Petunia knows this empty state of being, and it’s fine. It’s fine because she doesn’t want anything else to fill that void. She knows how to distract herself, is an expert at finding interest in the smallest of details. It’s fine, because the only things she wants from Vernon are stability and a child, which he will give to her.

The rest doesn’t matter.

 ݁.⋆❀˖⁺‧₊˚✿˚₊‧⁺˖❀⋆. ݁

Vernon’s laughter is loud and unpleasant. Lily spends dinner in self imposed silence, unwilling to join in on the discussion of everything that’s “wrong with modern society.”

Henry Dursley is somehow even worse than his son, and it’s obvious Lily’s parents are having a hard time staying polite. Petunia keeps shooting her looks over the table, green eyes thoughtful, and Lily wonders if her sister can see how awful this family is. It’s so painfully evident to her she can’t believe Petunia doesn’t notice it.

When the Dursleys finally leave after dessert, Lily helps clean up the table and then the kitchen quietly. Her parents don’t say anything, but she can see her mother’s lips are pursed and her father’s shoulders are tense. Petunia works alongside them, a slight furrow in her brows.

It’s already late when the two sisters make their way upstairs, and Lily is exhausted. She wants nothing more than to blissfully fall into bed. Still, she tugs on Petunia’s sleeve to beckon her into the bedroom behind her.

“What is it?”

“I… I’m sorry about today.”

“What about today?” Petunia asks, a little confused.

“That we’re still stuck like this,” Lily explains.

“Oh. Yeah.”

“I think,” she starts, thinking aloud, “maybe, if tomorrow—”

“Look, Lily,” her sister interrupts, “quite frankly, I’m tired. Unless you have something concrete to share, let’s talk about it in the morning, yeah?”

Lily doesn’t have anything worth sharing yet, which is exactly the problem. “I… Yeah, okay.”

Neither of them moves.

“Do you want to stay in your room?” Lily asks, seeing as Petunia is still there.

“Right, er, no. That’s okay. I just… blanked, for a second.”

“Right.”

“Well.” Petunia starts towards the door.

“Tuney, wait.”

“Don’t call me that,” she tuts.

“Sorry.” Lily looks down at where she’s twisting her fingers together.

“Well? What is it?”

“I just… that was bad, right?”

Petunia’s eyebrows pinch so tightly it looks painful. “What do you mean?”

“Dinner. With the Dursleys.”

“What about it?” she asks coldly.

“I mean, it wasn’t exactly fun, was it?”

Petunia’s face goes slack, completely blank for a second before anger flicks like flames behind her eyes. “Why would you say that?”

“Well it’s true! Don’t try and tell me you actually enjoyed it.”

“Look, I’m not asking you to love them, but have you considered the fact that maybe not everyone shares your opinion on everything?”

“Oh, because you had the time of your life tonight? Come on, Tuney, I saw you! You were bored to death! Admit it.”

Her sister purses her lips in annoyance. “You don’t get to talk about them like this.”

“Petunia, please. You’re not seriously going to marry him?” Lily tries.

“Of course I am!” her sister snaps.

“But why?”

“Why? Well, I— I—” she splutters.

“You have nothing in common!” Lily bursts. “They don’t have any interest in anything even remotely fun! Petunia, you would die of boredom with that man.”

“That’s not true,” Petunia retorts.

“It is, and you know it.” Lily tries to even her breathing, desperation bleeding into her voice. “Please, please, tell me you’re going to cancel it. You can’t just waste away your life like that! Not for them!”

“Waste my life?”

“You don’t even like him!”

“Yes, I do! I’m going to marry him!”

“But you’re not in love!”

Petunia clicks her tongue, rolling her eyes. “That’s irrelevant.”

“What the hell, Petunia?”

“What?”

“How can you say that? Of course it’s relevant! How— You’re going to spend the rest of your life together!”

“And? That’s not your problem with him, and you know it.”

“But you don’t enjoy spending time with him!”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, I do,” Lily insists, unable to stop herself. “I’m sorry, Petunia, but I can’t let you do this. I can’t just watch as you make the biggest mistake of your life!” All of it, everything Lily has been holding back for months comes tumbling out of her mouth before she can think better of it.

“It’s none of your business!”

“Of course, it’s my business!”

“No, it isn’t! You’re a meddling freak! You don’t get to disappear from my life for years and then come back and tell me how to live it!”

Lily stills. The words are a punch to her gut. “Fine. Do whatever.”

“I don’t see why you should care.”

“You don’t see why I should—” she huffs a humourless laugh. “Fine. Yeah, no, that’s fair. I suppose that’s fair.”

“We’ll talk in the morning.”

Petunia leaves the room, and Lily lets out a shaky breath, lowering herself on the bed. Why does every conversation with her sister end like this? It’s like Petunia can’t help herself, can’t keep the venom down once she starts talking. And tonight, Lily couldn’t stop the anger she usually works so hard to stifle from bubbling to the surface—it always does, in the end.

It wasn’t always like this. Lily distantly remembers a time, before Hogwarts, before Severus, when Petunia was her best friend. Now they can barely be in the same room without ripping each other’s hair out.

And the thing is, Lily still doesn’t get it. She still doesn’t understand how it could all have gone so wrong.

How could her sister grow so bitter?

They were so close when they were little. But once Lily started doing magic, it all went downhill from there. It’s the hardest thing she’s had to deal with because of her powers—worse than discovering a whole new world at ten years old, worse than having to deal with pureblood supremacists. Losing her sister was a steep price for an entrance into the wizarding world, and some days, Lily isn’t sure she’d do it again if she had a choice.

Except she didn’t have a choice. Being a witch wasn’t her decision; Petunia cutting her off, though? That was a conscious decision on her sister’s part.

Lily may have enjoyed teasing her sister about it at first, but she quickly stopped doing magic around her once she understood the strain it put on their relationship. But as the years passed, they saw less and less of each other, and now Lily fears it might be too late to make amends. They’ve grown too far apart, in opposite directions. Two flowers from the same stem, now on different sides of a fence. In different gardens.

And seeing how every conversation between them has gone this summer, they sure aren’t on the right track to become closer again.

Somehow, Lily always seems to say the wrong thing with Petunia. Their fight echoes in her mind long after she’s settled into bed, wondering why she even bothered to try and change her sister’s plans.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Lily wakes in Petunia’s room. She looks down at herself reluctantly, half resigned, and finds her body still isn’t hers. Another day in her sister’s skin, then.

The first thing she does after getting dressed is try to do magic, but no flower bursts in her waiting palm. She feels no tingle, no warmth. Nothing.

Sighing, Lily makes her way downstairs to have breakfast with her parents, and seeing her sister pointedly ignoring her settles her decision to ask someone for help. They’re getting nowhere, and this situation can’t go on forever.

So as soon as she’s back upstairs, Lily takes out a quill and a piece of parchment, scribbling a message she then ties to her owl’s leg. In this moment, a wave of gratitude towards her parents hits her for having gifted her the bird a couple of birthdays back—it truly is indispensable in the wizarding world.

The day seems to stretch endlessly, Petunia still not acknowledging her presence, until the bell rings. Lily jumps up from the sofa, surprised, as her father goes to open the door.

“Vernon! We weren’t expecting you today?” he exclaims in faux enthusiasm, but it comes out more as a question.

Lily groans internally as Vernon appears through the door, addressing her father. “Just thought I’d come by and see what Petunia’s up to.”

Trying to make a swift exit, Lily bumps into her sister.

“What are you doing?” Petunia hisses.

“Your fiancé is here,” Lily hisses back.

Petunia’s eyes widen comically, and if she didn’t know any better, Lily might think she’s as annoyed as she is about his impromptu visit. But her sister simply huffs out, “Well, go and talk to him! He’s here to see me, which means he’s here to see you.”

Petunia grips her by the arms to turn her around and pushes Lily back into the living room. “Hello, dear,” Vernon calls when he spots her, having moved deeper into the house.

“Hiya,” Lily replies in a too high pitched voice, plastering a fake smile on her face. Godric, she can’t take any more of this man.

“Alright, darling?” her father says in passing, escaping towards the garden. Traitor.

“What are you doing here?” Lily asks in a way she hopes doesn’t betray how badly she doesn’t want Vernon to be here.

“Just wanted to see you,” he replies with a smile. “Have any plans today?”

Lily smiles, genuinely this time. “Yes, actually.”

“Oh? Anything I can help you with?”

“I’m afraid not,” she says, internally dancing in relief. “I’m meeting an old friend.” Technically, it isn’t even a lie.

“Really?”

Lily hums, and makes a show of looking at the clock. “Oh!” she exclaims, feigning surprise. “I actually must be going. I’m sorry. You came all this way for nothing.”

“Ah, well,” Vernon sighs sheepishly. “Maybe I can keep your parents company.”

She feels a bit guilty for them, but honestly, it was hard enough saving herself. So Lily nods and makes her way through the door, catching a glimpse of her sister’s stormy expression as she closes it behind her.

As soon as she’s out, she sighs. She made it. She still has a half hour to kill, but that’s time better spent walking around outside than trapped with Vernon Dursley.

So Lily takes the longer route to the park, then finds a bench to wait.

Punctual as ever, she sees Regulus come out from behind a bush at 4 P.M. sharp, supposedly having apparated there so as not to be caught by muggles. He glances around, no doubt looking for her. Right. Now comes the awkward bit.

She makes her way over to him and smiles when he finally looks up at her. “Hi, Reg.”

He frowns. “Er, hello? Do I know you?” he asks.

Lily nods. “Regulus, I know this is going to sound crazy, but I need you to believe me. I’m Lily.”

“Did Lily send you?” She can practically see the cogs turning in his head. “Wait. Did you drink polyjuice potion?” he whispers, leaning in closer to her.

Lily shakes her head, trying to remain calm. Somehow, explaining the situation to someone else is making her freak out in a way she hasn’t until now. “No, Reg, I didn’t drink polyjuice. I don’t know how, but my sister and I switched bodies.”

For a second, Regulus fixes her with wide eyes, and she thinks he believes her. Then he quirks an eyebrow and drawls, “You know, I live with Sirius and James. I know a prank when I see one.”

“No, no, this isn’t a prank.” Lily shakes her head again, growing desperate. “Please, Regulus, I need your help. I’m Lily! Just ask me something only I would know, you’ll see,” she pleads, seeing he’s still unconvinced.

“Alright,” he accepts, eyes narrowing in thought. “Who was your first crush?” he asks with a devil’s smile.

Lily groans, reluctantly admitting the truth she’s only ever shared with Regulus. “Remus.” Her friend cackles, then stops short when she smacks his arm. “Need I remind you, Reggie—”

“Don’t you Reggie me!”

“—that Remus was your first crush too, hmm?” she continues, ignoring his interruption.

Regulus makes a horrified gasp. “You swore you’d never tell!”

“I haven’t told anyone else,” she promises, smiling. “But I do still think we should tell him, one day. It’s sort of hilarious.”

“Merlin, it really is you,” Regulus realises, suddenly looking worried.

Lily makes a grimace. “Yeah. Hi.”

He frowns, all traces of humour completely gone from his face. “So… This is your sister’s body?”

“Yeah. Petunia,” Lily says, nodding. “And she’s in mine.”

“And you don’t know how this happened?”

“No.” She bites her lip, considering, then adds, “It’s been two days.”

Regulus’s eyes widen at that. “Well, shit. How— What—” he tries, then apparently gives up on trying to form a coherent sentence, instead staring at her for several long seconds.

“And I can’t do any magic,” Lily informs him.

“How have you been dealing?”

She chuckles, thinking back to the several fights she and Petunia have had the past couple of days. “Admittedly, not great.”

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Petunia watches as her sister leaves, horrified at how unceremoniously she dismissed Vernon. The man looks around, seeming a little lost, and spots her. She smiles, remembering belatedly that she looks like Lily and scolding herself when Vernon grunts in her general direction. He then makes his way to the back door, supposedly to join Petunia’s father in the garden, and she follows.

“It seems Petunia had to leave,” Vernon says.

“Ah,” her father replies.

The two men stand around awkwardly, and Petunia rolls her eyes before joining them.

“Are there any details for the wedding you still need to settle?” she asks.

Vernon barely spares her a glance. “No.”

Petunia grinds her teeth, reminding herself he thinks she’s her freak sister.

After a painfully long silence, Petunia asks a question about football, knowing that will get the conversation going. Sure enough, after glaring at her, Vernon starts to talk, and her father pays enough attention for the tension to dissipate.

Satisfied, Petunia goes back inside the house, not wanting to get sunburned—and admittedly not particularly appreciating being in Vernon’s company while he takes her for her sister. 

“Lily!” her mother calls from the kitchen. Petunia reluctantly steps away from the stairs—she was looking forward to some time alone in her bedroom—and crosses the living room to where her mother’s voice came from.

“Yes?”

“Help me bake a cake,” her mother tells her, shooting her a smile over her shoulder as she opens a cupboard.

“Alright,” Petunia agrees, trying not to show her surprise. She can’t actually remember if they’ve ever done this before. Cooking or cleaning, yes, but baking? Somehow, it feels much more like a fun activity to do together, more like a hobby and less like a chore.

They take out everything they need, lining up the ingredients on the counter, before pouring over the recipe again. At first, Petunia feels at ease, glad to be doing this with her mother. But the more time passes, the less she feels like herself, and that’s when she realises—she isn’t.

She’s Lily.

Her mother wants to spend time together and do sweet mother-daughter activities because she thinks she’s Lily.

How could she forget? How could she think it didn’t matter? Of course it does. Vernon’s sour expression flashes in her mind, and Petunia wants to claw at her skin until it comes off of her bones. She wants to get out of this body and never get back in hers, stay in an inbetween forever. A void. Outside of life, only ever watching, and listening, but never seen or heard. She can’t bear to be perceived anymore. It’s too exhausting.

There’s a voice inside her head telling her she’s being dramatic, that if she just smiles, and nods, and follows the plan, everything will work out just fine. Wedding. House. Children. A normal life.

Wedding, house, children. A normal life.

Wedding, house, children, normal life. Wedding, house, children, normal life, wedding, house, children, normal life, wedding, house, children, wedding, house, children, wedding house children wedding house children wedding house children wedding housechildrenweddinghousechi—

“Darling? Are you alright?” her mother’s voice breaks her out of her daze.

Petunia blinks a few times, trying to remember how to breathe. When did she start holding her breath? “Yeah, fine,” she chokes out.

“You seem tense.”

Petunia hums, not fully trusting her voice.

“Is it because of your sister?” her mother insists.

Petunia shrugs.

“Is it because of Vernon?”

Petunia sighs, then turns to look at her mother. “No,” she lies.

“Look, my love, I know the Dursleys are… not the kind of people you’re used to, but it’s your sister’s choice who she marries.”

“I know,” Petunia replies, getting a little defensive. “I don’t care.”

Her mother gives her a stern look. “Lily, of course you care. She’s your sister.”

Petunia frowns slightly, and her heart clenches uncomfortably. “I don’t see why my opinion on her fiancé matters.”

“Oh, but of course it does. He’s going to be part of the family.” Her mother’s eyes are wide, gentle. Petunia doesn’t know what to do with that. “He should be making more of an effort to get along with you, or at least be civil.”

She scoffs. “It’s not like I’ve made much of an effort,” she says bitterly.

“No, you have,” her mother counters. “You came to the engagement party.”

“And left early,” Petunia reminds her.

“But you asked me if you could beforehand. I told you it was alright, Lily. You’re allowed to go see your friends.”

Oh. Petunia hadn’t realised Lily had actually asked their mother if she could go to her friend’s. She’d assumed Lily had just… decided she wouldn’t stay the whole day.

“Still, I— That wasn’t very considerate of me,” she insists, because for some reason, she still can’t let it go. Lily came and left, and that’s somehow worse than if she hadn’t shown up at all.

“Lily, don’t worry about it. Petunia is just… a little on edge.”

“Well, it is a lot of work preparing a wedding, I’m sure.”

Her mother laughs softly. “Oh, you have no idea,” she says. Little does she know, she’s talking to Petunia, who does, in fact, know how much work preparing a wedding requires. The answer is, a lot.

“Still. It isn’t Vernon’s fault that I’m— a witch,” Petunia forces out.

“I should think it’s nobody’s fault, darling. But it is his responsibility to be polite, even if he doesn’t understand you. You’re going to be his sister-in-law, after all.”

Petunia wishes she had something to say to that, but no words come out of her mouth, so she closes it and goes back to baking silently.

 ݁.⋆❀˖⁺‧₊˚✿˚₊‧⁺˖❀⋆. ݁

Lily tells Regulus everything relevant to hers and Petunia’s switch that she can think of. He also doesn’t find any obvious explanation, but agrees to do some research.

“Why did you ask me for help?” he asks her.

“Well, you’re one of my best friends, for one.” He rolls his eyes, but Lily doesn’t miss the way his lips twitch up at the corners. “And you’re brilliant. I knew you’d be willing to help, and that you would look at it differently than me.”

Regulus lifts an eyebrow. “Is that your way of saying I’m a Slytherin?”

Lily snorts. “Maybe. But also, you’re actually interested in magical theory. I thought it more likely you’d be able to find an explanation than anyone else.”

“You flatter me.”

“I’m serious!”

Regulus raises both eyebrows, waiting for her to realise what she’s said. “I believe you’re Petunia, right now,” he says with a smirk.

“I thought you hated that joke as much as I do,” she groans.

He shrugs. “Don’t tell Sirius.”

Lily turns to look at him where they’re sitting in the shade. “Speaking of Sirius. Are you okay? You know, with… him and Remus?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, I know you don’t like me mentioning it but—”

“This conversation never happened.”

“—you used to like Remus, and now he’s dating your brother.”

“That was ages ago, Lily. Honestly, I don’t see him like that anymore.” Regulus meets her gaze, and she can see he’s being sincere.

“Alright then. I just wanted to check in with you.”

“No need to worry about it. I’m happy for them,” he says with a sigh, eyebrows twitching slightly.

Lily frowns. “But?” she prods.

“There is no but!”

“Yes there is, I can see it on your face!”

Regulus leans back on his hands and tilts his face towards the sky, or more accurately the leaves overhead. “I’m fine. I promise.”

Lily doesn’t believe him. “Is there someone you like now?”

“No,” he replies too quickly.

“Very convincing,” she huffs. “Come on, you can tell me.”

“There’s no one,” he insists through gritted teeth, then turns to look at her attentively. “Do you like someone?”

“Me?” For some reason, Pandora’s face appears in her mind. Lily clears her throat before affirming, “No.”

“Not even James?” Regulus asks carefully.

Lily feels herself grow uneasy at his gentle tone. “Definitely not. We… I wanted to, but I don’t think I ever really did. Like him, I mean.”

Regulus nods slowly, gaze faraway.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you shifted the conversation,” Lily jokes. “I’ll get it out of you some day or another.”

Her friend raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “You can try.”

“Aha! So you admit there is something,” she exclaims triumphantly.

Regulus rolls his eyes and shakes his head, muttering something that sounds like the death of me.

Lily lets the subject drop, knowing her friend won’t share anything until he’s ready. They chat for a little while longer, and Regulus promises not to tell anyone about Lily’s situation until they’ve found a solution to the switch.

When she gets home, in the middle of the afternoon, Lily braces herself to face Vernon, but he’s thankfully already left. Her sister, on the other hand, is very much there, and she doesn’t look happy.

Lily worries her bottom lip as Petunia drags her upstairs and into her bedroom.

“Where were you?”

She’s tempted to tell her it’s none of her business—feed her some of her own medicine—but now is not the time to bicker for petty reasons. So instead, she says, “I was meeting a friend.”

Petunia somehow manages to look down her nose at her, even though she’s a lot shorter now in Lily’s body. “I don’t love the way you treated Vernon today.”

Lily purses her lips and ducks her head. “Sorry,” she mumbles. “But I really did have a friend to meet.”

“And you met them like this?”

“Er… yeah.” Lily swallows, trying to calm her racing heart, before jumping headfirst into traffic. “I told him.”

Her sister’s eyes widen, and it would be comical if she didn’t look absolutely murderous. “You what?”

“I told him.”

“You told him,” Petunia repeats slowly, as if she’s having trouble grasping the concept. “You told him?”

“Yes. And he’s going to help us.”

Petunia’s nostrils flare. “Lily. I asked you not to tell anyone about this.”

“I know, but it’s honestly not a big deal, he’s not going to—”

“It is a big deal!” Petunia interrupts. “People could think we’re crazy! We could be institutionalised!”

“I know!” Lily practically screams. “I know, okay? But Reg won’t tell anyone, we can trust him, he promised me—”

“How am I supposed to trust him? I don’t even know him!”

“You can trust me!”

“I can’t believe you went behind my back like this.”

Lily feels her stomach drop, along with her heart. “Please, Tuney. He can actually help us. He’s brilliant, he knows so much about magical theory, and he has access to a much larger library than me. I’m not getting anywhere, and it’s not like you’re being helpful.”

Petunia flinches slightly but keeps staring at her skeptically, clearly not over whatever it is that upset her.

“I can’t find anything helpful in my books,” Lily continues. “I’ve looked, but I can’t find any mention of anything like this happening. This is big, Petunia. Not something I can fix with regular textbooks. Regulus lives with the Potters, who are pureblood wizards, so they definitely have a lot more knowledge accessible. And he’s one of my best friends. I promise, we can trust him.”

“How can you say that when you betrayed my trust? You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone about it. And then you did. So how am I supposed to trust you now?”

With that, Petunia leaves Lily alone in the room, wondering if she’ll ever say the right thing to her sister.

 ݁.⋆✿˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖✿⋆. ݁

Lily is absolutely unbelievable. Petunia enters her bedroom swiftly, letting the door shut loudly behind her. She’s fuming, can feel her hands shaking with rage, and her vision is going blurry. It’s like there’s a switch inside her that Lily keeps turning on every time she opens her mouth, and Petunia is left helpless to the burning anger that fills her.

She paces Lily’s bedroom, breathing heavily, trying to find a way to make Lily see, to make her pay, for everything she’s putting Petunia through.

She needs to scream, to break, to hurt. She needs to do something.

Her head is clear, sharpened by her anger, and Petunia finds herself going through her sister’s things in a frenzy. Her mind is still reeling from their fight, from the time she spent with their mother, from the dirty looks Vernon kept throwing her today. All of this is Lily’s fault.

She stops when she opens the bedside table drawer and finds a piece of paper on which is scribbled: Mary Macdonald, followed by a phone number. Petunia suddenly remembers the girl’s words from yesterday, how she seemed to know Lily so well.

Before she can think twice about it, Petunia makes her way downstairs, still clutching the paper with Mary’s number in her hand. Her plan isn’t fully formed, but this is a good place to start.

After checking that Lily isn’t around and that her parents are busy, Petunia settles by the phone near their living room and calls Mary. It rings a couple of times before someone picks up.

“Hello?” a young voice says.

“Hello, may I speak with Mary, please? This is Lily,” Petunia says.

“Mary!” she hears the same voice scream. “Your friend is calling!”

A short silence, then the sound of the phone being passed around, and finally Mary’s voice. “Hi? This is Mary.”

“Mary, this is Lily,” Petunia says again.

“Oh, hi Lily! Everything alright?”

“Er…” Somehow, Petunia hasn’t exactly planned how she’s going to get her sister’s best friend to spill all of their darkest secrets. “Well, I was wondering if you had some time to talk?”

“Now?”

“Yeah.”

After a short pause, Mary replies, “Of course. What did you want to talk about?”

Petunia plays with the telephone cable with her free hand. “I guess… I was wondering if… er, you had any advice to give me?”

“Advice?”

Petunia winces at how clumsy she’s being. “Yeah.”

“What about?”

“Oh, er…” Okay, maybe she should have taken a bit more time to prepare before calling. “Just, generally, I suppose? For, you know, after school life. You know me probably better than anyone. Is there anything you think I should… work on?”

Mary hums in thought, the sound coming out a bit garbled through the telephone. “Okay, er… let me think for a minute. This is a bit random.”

“Yeah, sorry. I guess I just started thinking about it, and since you said to call if I needed anything…”

“No, it’s fine, don’t worry. Er, I’m trying to think of something helpful to say.”

“Okay.” Petunia waits for Mary to speak again.

“Maybe... I think you should try to make decisions for yourself sooner?”

Petunia frowns. That’s not exactly helpful. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well, I’ve noticed you tend to… mostly go with the flow, you know? And that’s okay, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it, but I do think sometimes it ends up hurting you.”

“Hurting me?” Petunia repeats, raising her eyebrows. This doesn’t make much sense to her.

“And potentially other people.”

Yes, Petunia thinks. This is what I want to know. “Oh?”

“Look, I’m not going to go over the whole Snape thing again, I know you’re still figuring it out, but… Take James, for example.”

“James?” What does Lily’s boyfriend have to do with anything? And what was that about Snape?

“Yeah. I mean, everyone was surprised when you broke up, but to be honest, from what you’ve told me, I’m more struggling to understand why you went out with him in the first place.”

“What I told you?” Lily and James broke up? When? Why didn’t she say anything?

“You know, that you were never really attracted to him, and how kissing never felt that good anyway, and… I mean, it’s pretty obvious you never wanted to be anything but friends.”

All Petunia manages in response is, “Oh.”

“I think you just… let yourself get carried away by others’ enthusiasm, and, you know, I can’t really blame you, the bloke was insistent, but… Well, I don’t know. Maybe dating you actually helped him finally get over you in the end. But you’re lucky he took it so well. James is really one of a kind, and I’m not sure it would’ve been this easy with someone else.”

Mary stops talking, and Petunia realises she should say something back. “I didn’t go out with anyone else, though.”

“Yeah… I’m glad you put a stop to it with Snape before it got there.”

Snape again. That’s strange, Petunia thinks. “What about Severus?” she asks, remembering at the last second that Lily would probably call him by his first name. But why don’t her other friends? Weren’t they all together at Hogwarts?

“Lily… Do you really want to talk about it?”

Petunia hesitates. This sounds serious. But isn’t that exactly what she called for? “Yes.”

“Look, I know he apologised. But what he said… it can’t just be brushed aside. And it might have been the first time he said it to your face, but we both know who his friends in Slytherin were…”

Did Lily and Severus have a fight? “Did I do something wrong?”

She hears Mary sigh. “I know you want to forgive him, but just… think about it. I don’t want you to make the same mistakes twice.”

How cryptic. “Alright. Thank you.”

“Do you want to meet up?” Mary suggests. “I have a bit of cleaning up to do, but I could apparate at the park in about half an hour?”

Petunia only has to think about it for two seconds before she agrees. For some unknown reason, she really likes Mary. She thinks they could even be real friends, in different circumstances.

Chapter Text

Petunia makes her way back upstairs, hesitating briefly before knocking on her bedroom door. Lily’s voice—her voice—comes muffled from the other side, telling her to come in. “Hey,” Lily says softly as Petunia lets the door click shut behind her.

Petunia clears her throat before speaking. “Are you— Are you still dating that boy?”

Lily’s eyes widen a fraction, and she shifts from foot to foot, visibly uncomfortable. “James?” she asks. Petunia nods. “Er… We… No, we broke up,” she admits.

Well, at least she’s not outright lying to her. “When?”

“What is this, an investigation?” Lily retorts with a frown, before deflating when Petunia just waits expectantly for an answer. “A few months ago,” she mumbles.

A sigh escapes them both at the same time, and Petunia can’t help the smirk that creeps onto her face. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I… Because…” Lily sighs again, trailing off. “I don’t know. It was just easier. Why do you care, anyway?”

“I don’t.” Petunia rolls her eyes. “It’s just weird. I don’t get why you would hide it.”

Lily shrugs, looking put out. Petunia considers her carefully before asking, “Why did you break up?”

Her sister looks anywhere but at her, fiddling with a necklace Petunia is sure doesn’t belong to her. “We just didn’t work.”

“Wasn’t it his house you went to the night of the engagement?”

“Yeah. We’re still friends.”

“Huh.” Petunia can’t really imagine what that would be like, being friends with someone you were in a relationship with. “Isn’t it weird?” she can’t help but ask.

“No,” Lily says, a little defensively. “I mean, maybe it was a bit at first, but… we’re better as friends, you know?”

Petunia finds herself nodding, even though, no, she absolutely does not know.

She clears her throat again, trying to be nonchalant as she pushes a little further, paying particular attention to her sister’s reaction. “And what about… you know, that boy who lives down the street?”

Immediately, Lily’s shoulders hunch up and her jaw visibly clenches for a few seconds before she composes herself again. “Severus,” she supplies.

“Yeah.” Petunia pretends she’s only just remembering his name. “Severus.”

“What about him?”

“You two were always inseparable.”

Lily hums noncommittally.

“Was there ever…?”

“What’s with all these questions?”

“Just curious,” Petunia says with a half-shrug. When Lily doesn’t say anything more, she prompts, “So?”

“No. And we’re not that close anymore.”

“Really? How come?” Petunia tries to keep the excitement out of her voice, but she can’t help it. She is growing increasingly curious about her sister’s mysterious relationships, and she’s always hated Severus Snape. Had Lily finally come to her senses about him, after all these years?

“He… said some pretty nasty things to me. He apologised, but… It’s just not the same anymore.”

Petunia nods, mind running a mile a minute. Why would he ever insult Lily? He was always so obsessed with her. It doesn’t make any sense, if you ask her.

“Seriously, Petunia, why are you asking?”

She bites her tongue, remembering why she called Mary in the first place. Her anger is completely gone now, replaced by a form of strange fascination. Finally, she says, “Our conversation made me wonder about your friends. Who is this you told about us, anyway?”

“Regulus,” Lily informs her with a soft smile. “I promise, he’ll do everything he can to help us. I wouldn’t have told him if I didn’t think—”

“Yes, yes,” Petunia interrupts, “I know. You trust him.” She sighs for what feels like the thousandth time today. “Whatever. I’m going for a walk.”

Without waiting for a reply, she leaves and goes into Lily’s bedroom. Petunia stands near the head of the bed for an eternity before muttering to herself to just get it together, it’s just a piece of wood, and retrieving the wand from where it lays under the pillow. The warmth awakens in her as soon as she touches it, and she hates to admit it, but it feels great. She doesn’t have the time to wonder about it now, though—she has to get to the park to meet with Mary.

Lily’s friend is already waiting for her when she gets there, and greets her with a warm smile and a hug. It makes Petunia feel strange—she’s not used to being so affectionate, especially not with someone she barely knows. She reminds herself that to Mary, she’s Lily. Her friend.

“Are you alright?” Mary asks earnestly, her eyes wide.

Petunia nods, trying to put on an easy smile. “Sure, yeah. Yeah. Great, actually. It’s good to see you.” Okay, maybe that was a bit too much.

Mary doesn’t seem convinced as she keeps looking at her with raised eyebrows. “It’s good to see you too,” she finally says. “I can tell you don’t want to talk about it, so I’m not going to ask what that phone call was about.” Petunia feels her cheeks heat at the mention of it. Honestly, what was she thinking? “Should we sit? Or do you want to walk?”

“Er, I don’t mind. Whatever you like.”

“Hmm, let’s walk then.”

What am I doing here? Petunia asks herself as the two girls take off on the path around the park. This is ridiculous. She doesn’t even know Mary.

“Actually, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” Mary says after only a few minutes, breaking the silence.

“Yes?” Oh God, what now?

“Well, you know how I didn’t know what I wanted to do after Hogwarts?” Petunia nods, as she imagines Lily would do. “I’ve had an idea. It’s… a bit crazy, but I think I could do it. And I thought maybe… Well, it might interest you. I know you’re doing that potions apprenticeship in autumn! This would be something for after. If you wanted to help.”

“What is it?” Petunia asks, genuinely intrigued now.

Mary stops walking and turns to her, a shy smile illuminating her face. “I’d like to open some sort of school for younger witches and wizards. To attend before Hogwarts.”

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Maybe one day, Lily will understand her sister. Today is decidedly not that day.

She’s lost count of how many fights they’ve had now, and she’s starting to wonder if the normal conversations she remembers having with Petunia are just hallucinations. It all seems so far away.

And then, there’s the questions Petunia asked when she came back. About James, and about Severus.

Lily doesn’t know why she never told her family about the breakup. She didn’t know how to bring it up at first, and then her parents kept asking about her boyfriend, and they seemed so happy and proud of her, she couldn’t bring herself to tell them. So she put it off, probably for longer than she should have. And now she’s told Petunia.

Somehow, it feels like she’s exposed herself. Unsafe.

And Severus… Lily doesn’t know where they stand now. He’s apologised a million times, and she hasn’t exactly forgiven him, but by the end of seventh year they had started hanging out again, without really talking about it. It was strange, and Lily missed him, misses him still, but she doesn’t know what to do about it now. She just doesn’t know.

It feels like there is very little she does know, these days.

Sighing, Lily decides to follow her sister’s example and go for a walk. She wanders mindlessly, internally cursing herself for hurting Petunia again and again. She comes to a stop, realising her feet took her to the front of Pandora’s shop—well, it probably isn’t hers, but that’s what Lily has come to call it in her mind.

“Hey,” she calls out as she steps inside. Might as well enjoy the friendly company now that she’s here.

“Iris!” Pandora perks up, standing and coming around the counter to pull Lily into a quick hug. “How are you?” she asks.

“Er… I don’t know,” Lily says truthfully. Just one more thing to add to the list of things she doesn’t know.

“What’s wrong?”

“I… sort of had a fight with my sister.”

“Sort of?”

“Well, we had a fight, but then later she came back and asked me a bunch of— er, she asked me about stuff she’s never wanted to know about before. And then she told me she was going on a walk.”

Pandora hums thoughtfully. “How do you feel?”

Lily shrugs. “Not great,” she says with a rueful smile.

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

She shakes her head, knowing there is no way to explain any of it without coming clean about the whole situation, and she really can’t do that.

“Do you wanna hang out here for a bit? Evan’s supposed to come round soon.”

Lily nods gratefully. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“Of course. That’s what friends are for.” Pandora smiles at her so gently it nearly brings her to tears. And then she starts to chat about the customers she had that day, and one especially picky one who made her go and get just about every single ring model in different sizes to try on all of their fingers, only to leave empty handed after almost a full hour. Lily laughs as Pandora recounts the most annoying encounters she’s had in the shop so far, and Evan arrives at some point, smiling at Lily and joining in on their conversation.

When Pandora’s shift ends, the three of them make their way onto the sidewalk in front of the shop, and they’re still laughing so hard from a joke Evan made it takes several minutes before they calm down enough for Pandora to ask, after having shared a look with her brother, “Do you want to come to ours? We’re about fifteen minutes away.”

Lily is surprised to realise how much she does want to go with them. “Er, yeah, actually, that’d be lovely,” she says, checking her watch to make sure it’s not too late already.

“Great! Let’s go then.”

The twins lead the way, and they continue to talk until they arrive, making the walk seem like barely any distance at all. It’s strange how easily the three of them fit together, like friends who have known each other for years. Well, to be fair, they have known each other for years, Lily just never was that close to Regulus’s other friends.

Pandora and Evan live in a small studio, perfect for two. The building is quite old, and Evan apologises about the mess as Pandora unlocks the door, but Lily immediately feels at home there. There are plants everywhere. A lot of drawings and paintings hang on the walls, on the fridge, are stacked on every surface. They settle on a visibly worn dark sofa, and Lily feels like she hasn’t caught her breath since earlier today when she was with Regulus at the park.

“So have you always lived around here?” Pandora asks her.

“Er, yeah,” Lily says, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.

“And do you like it? Do you know many people?”

“Well…” she trails off, trying to think of a response to that without having to outright lie. “I didn’t go to school here, so I don’t know that many people,” she decides to say. “I don’t want to stay here forever, but there are a few places I like.”

“Like the cinema?” Evan asks, eyes bright.

Lily does her best to hide her smile at his enthusiasm. “Yeah, like the cinema. There’s a park around here I really love as well.”

“Oh, that’s lovely!” Pandora exclaims. “We should go together sometime. I mean, if you want to?”

“Yeah,” Lily agrees easily. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Great. I’ve walked around a bit, but so far I haven’t really found a place that feels… good, you know? Moving has been harder than I expected.”

“You don’t know anyone here?” Lily asks, in what she hopes is a curious but innocent voice.

They both shake their heads. “Nah, we needed a clean start,” Evan says, trying to smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, and even Lily can tell it’s sad. 

“And now we have you,” Pandora adds, taking Lily’s hand in hers.

She suddenly feels awful for lying to them like this. What is she going to do when she and Petunia exchange bodies again? How is she going to explain to them that there is no Iris, that it was her, Lily, all along? It feels like she’s betraying them.

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Mary explains her whole project to Petunia, eyes bright and waving her hands around in enthusiasm.

“Of course, it’s going to be a lot of work to get the Ministry behind this, and I know it’ll be quite some time before it all really happens, but I just can’t stop thinking about it. Obviously my idea came first for muggle-born children, I mean you remember how it was the first couple of years at Hogwarts. Everything is so new, and there’s all of this cultural knowledge to catch up on, and… But then I noticed how many wizarding families have a very traditional structure, with a stay-at-home mum to take care of the children before they go to Hogwarts, while the father works. So this isn’t just about muggle-borns, but for all witches as well.”

Petunia is trying to keep up, but this is a lot of information. “So what you’re saying is, pureblood children don’t go to school before they’re eleven?”

Mary looks at her with wide eyes. “Er, hello, Earth to Lily? Obviously not! How many times have we teased James and Sirius about their ridiculous home schooling! And they were lucky to get this sort of education, because they’re so goddamn posh, but for most, there’s nothing of the sort. It’s all up to the parents, so obviously it’s all up to the mother. I’ve looked into it, and there’s absolutely nothing on the matter in wizarding legislation! I mean, nothing. No help programs, no expectations of what children should know or be learning before they attend Hogwarts… It’s ridiculous!”

“I have to admit, I’m impressed,” Petunia says, and she’s surprised by how much she means it. “So what would you teach them?”

“Mostly the same things as in the muggle world, I suppose. Reading, writing… I mean at this point, it’s not even about teaching them more than it is about freeing the women. The wizarding world didn’t benefit from the same emancipation as the muggle world. It’s still so conservative, especially in pureblood circles. Sorry for rambling, I know you know all this, but… I don’t know. There’s something so unnerving here. How has no one done anything about it? Why isn’t there any revolt?”

“Because it’s easier to just go along,” Petunia murmurs.

“Yes,” Mary agrees, taking it as a participation to the conversation. “But I won’t stand for it. Most muggle-borns know to put their kids in muggle schools before Hogwarts, it seems like the most logical thing to do, but I think this is one of the few cases where purebloods don’t benefit from their own policies. Which makes sense, because they don’t know anything about muggles, so of course they can’t send their kids to muggle schools. It would break the Statute of Secrecy.”

Petunia doesn’t know that much about the wizarding world and its politics. This is the most she’s ever heard about it. She had never thought about the difference between muggle-born wizards and the so-called “purebloods”. Sounds pretty ridiculous to her—if you can do magic, then you can do magic. She doesn’t see how having other magical family members should influence your life that much. Then again, even as she thinks this, she realises how untrue it is. Lily must have clearly had an advantage upon meeting Severus, getting to know about the wizarding world and Hogwarts a good while before receiving her letter.

“I’d also consider teaching them how to control their magic,” Mary continues. “Not necessarily teaching them any spells, mind, I doubt they could get wands this young. But, you know, help them feel the magic, determine when and why it bursts from them. You know?”

Petunia nods slowly. She does understand—well, she thinks she understands. At least part of it. “Are really that many witches just… stay-at-home mothers?”

“Yes! I’m telling you, once you start thinking about it, it’s so obvious! I feel so stupid for not noticing earlier, to be honest. But think of the teachers at Hogwarts: the few women we had don’t have children. Well, that I know of, anyway. What does that say about this society?” She shakes her head, eyebrows pulled into a thoughtful frown. “That’s what I want to do. Give all these women a chance to get out of the house, find something to do, have carriers! And that would also help against arranged marriages in pureblood circles.”

Arranged marriages? Those still exist?

“The thing is, I’m not sure how I can get anyone interested in supporting this. Most people with that kind of power are— well, men. And most are pureblood.”

“So it’s a vicious circle.”

“Exactly.”

“What would you want me to help with?” Petunia finally asks.

Mary’s smile comes back, more blinding than the late afternoon sun. “Well, we’re both muggle-born, so I think between the two of us, we can think of a lot of things we would have liked to know, if the Ministry had made the effort to reach out to us as soon as we manifested signs of being witches. And I know how close you are to Regulus.” Ugh, this Regulus again, Petunia thinks. Who is he, anyway? “He’s the one who knows the most about magical theory, so I’m pretty sure he could be helpful. I thought maybe you could help me pitch the idea to him? And also, maybe, to James’s parents?”

“I, er… I’ll think about it,” Petunia replies sheepishly, not really sure how to react in Lily’s place. If it were up to her, she’d absolutely say yes. This sounds like an amazing project. But when she’s back in her body, it’ll be up to Lily to decide what to do. Which reminds Petunia about the wand she thought to bring with her. “So, how would you teach them to control their magic?” she asks Mary as nonchalantly as she can.

The other girl grins at her, eyes alight with excitement. “Here, look at this.” She bends down and picks a few strands of grass, placing them delicately in her palm. Petunia steps closer to look as the green turns blue, then purple, pink, red, orange, yellow, and finally green again. She looks up at Mary, who’s grinning at her. “I was actually inspired by you, how you used to do all kinds of small wandless magic when we met. It takes a while to get the hang of it, and you were especially gifted, but this trick is pretty easy.”

“Can you show me?” The words come out of Petunia’s mouth before she can stop them. She cringes, realising how stupid that probably sounds, but Mary keeps smiling at her.

“Of course. Here.” And she bends down again, picking new strands of grass to place them in Petunia’s open hand. “Focus on the magic first. Let it flow through you, warm you from the inside.” Petunia concentrates, trying to find the tingle she felt when she held Lily’s wand, and feels it grow around her bones, travel down her arms and to her fingertips. “Now push it out, through your palm. Visualise the colours. Pour all of your energy into those grass strands.” Petunia does, and almost jumps out of her skin when the grass in her hand turns turquoise.

She must be dreaming. This is impossible. Surely, this isn’t real.

But even as she keeps staring, gobsmacked, at the little strands, they slowly turn more and more blue, pushing purple now, then finally a pinkish hue.

Petunia doesn’t fully manage to make them go through all of the colours, but she doesn’t care. She did it. She did magic.

Her cheeks ache from how hard she’s smiling.

 ݁.⋆❀˖⁺‧₊˚✿˚₊‧⁺˖❀⋆. ݁

“How long have you been living here? It’s very nice,” Lily comments, looking around the place again, trying to focus on the present moment.

“Just a few weeks,” Pandora says.

“We got all the plants as soon as we could, make it feel more comfortable,” Evan explains.

“Are those yours?” Lily asks, pointing at a few unfinished paintings sitting on the small coffee table.

“Pandora’s,” Evan replies, a proud smile illuminating his face. “She’s good, isn’t she?”

Pandora scoffs, waving away the compliment, but Lily reaches for the pieces to look at them more closely. “No, he’s right,” she says. “These are really good.” Most paintings represent plants of all sorts, probably based on the ones all around the room. There are a couple unfinished sketches of Evan, and one of a unicorn. Lily doesn’t comment on it, not wanting to make them uncomfortable by bringing unnecessary attention to their magic.

“Thanks,” Pandora says softly.

“I didn’t know you were an artist,” Lily says, immediately feeling like a fool. Of course Iris doesn’t know Pandora is an artist—they only met two days ago. But the twins don’t seem to pick up on anything strange in her tone.

“Yeah, I’ve been practicing more lately. I love it. Actually, could I try to do you?”

Lily lets the unfinished drawing she was looking at slip through her fingers as she turns to look at the girl. Her heart is inexplicably racing as she says, “Er, yeah, sure, if— if you like, yeah.” Godric, that was awful.

Pandora grins. “Great! Let me go get my book.” She gets up and walks to one of the piles on the furniture, picking up what she needs before coming back to the sofa. “Ev, it’s your turn to do groceries. You should go before it’s too late and we have nothing to eat.”

Evan grunts. “Aw, come on, we’ve got some bread left. I think.”

His sister shoots him a glare. “I threw it out this morning, it was stale. Please, we agreed to respect the schedule…”

“Alright, alright,” he gives in. “I’m going. It was nice to see you, Iris. In case you’re gone before I come back. See you!”

“Yeah, bye!” Lily says as Evan gathers a few things, then leaves the two girls alone in the small flat. “So, how do you want me?” she asks, blushing at her own wording.

“Er, like this is just fine.” Is she imagining it or is Pandora blushing too? It’s hard to tell with the tone of her skin. “You look pretty,” she whispers as she starts to draw.

Lily sits still, watching Pandora watch her then turn back to the sketchbook in her lap, a little crease forming between her brows as she concentrates. “You too,” she replies quietly.

The moment stretches on, Pandora tilting her head this way and that, biting her bottom lip, hand tracing the lines of Lily’s—Petunia’s—or Iris’s?—face.

“So, Iris,” Pandora says after a little while. “Are you finished with school?”

“Yes. I just graduated.”

“Really? Me too. What about now?”

“Hmm?”

“You know, your life. Do you have any plans?”

“Oh. Er…” Yes, a potions apprenticeship. But then what? And anyway, Lily can’t tell Pandora that. “Not sure yet,” she says instead. “And you?” she asks, because it’s the natural thing to do, but then realises once again that she probably shouldn’t have asked that.

Pandora doesn’t seem to mind though, and replies easily, “We’re not sure yet either. This summer is sort of a… trial period, you could say.” Lily wonders what she means by that.

“You like it at the shop?”

Pandora shrugs. “It’s alright.” Then, glancing at Lily with a smirk, she says, “I see you’re wearing the necklace.”

Lily feels her cheeks flush and closes her fists to stop herself from reaching up to the stone pendant. “That’s usually what you do when you buy jewellery,” she replies, trying to mask her nerves. Why does she feel so nervous?

“True,” Pandora says with a little hum. “But I especially like this one on you.”

Oh, this is ridiculous. Lily swallows harshly, trying to calm down her racing heart while not showing how difficult it is to breathe all of a sudden. Was it already this hot when they arrived earlier?

“Could we open a window?” she asks, and her voice has a certain edge to it that betrays how weird she’s feeling right now.

“Of course.” Pandora sets her sketchbook down, closed around her pencil so Lily can’t see the drawing, and turns around to crack a small window open. “Better?” she asks as she resettles herself to start drawing again.

Lily nods stiffly, seeing Pandora look up at her from under her lashes. It doesn’t help her heart return to a normal rhythm. She coughs, trying to regain some semblance of composure. “So… how’s it coming along?”

“I’m almost done,” Pandora tells her. A few minutes later, she straightens up and holds the drawing away from her, as if to look at it from a different angle or distance. She frowns slightly and hums thoughtfully.

“Something wrong?” Lily asks.

“I don’t know… I feel like something’s not quite right, but I can’t exactly… It’s like something is missing, but I’m not sure what.”

“Well… can I see?”

Pandora meets her eyes over her sketchbook and grins slowly. “No.”

“What— But—” Lily splutters. “Pandora, come on!”

She shakes her head, smiling like the cat who got the mouse. “Say please!”

Lily rolls her eyes, but gives in after about two seconds, her curiosity winning. “Fine. Can I please see the drawing?”

Pandora makes a show of thinking about it, tapping her chin with her index. “Nope!” she exclaims joyfully, and Lily groans. Pandora giggles.

“Please, please, please!”

“No! You’re never going to see it!”

“Pandora!”

Lily tries to get the book out of her hand, but Pandora holds it out of her reach, so that Lily has to practically climb over her to get closer. They struggle against each other, and suddenly Pandora has pushed her back in the sofa and they’re chest to chest, noses almost brushing. Lily gulps, all the air having left the room, and blinks several times.

She can feel the heat of Pandora’s body above hers as the girl stares at her, gaze traveling down her face to her mouth, then back up into Lily’s eyes. Slowly, torturously slowly, Pandora lowers herself, bringing her face closer, then stops. Lily closes the distance eagerly, capturing Pandora’s lips with her own.

It’s a chaste kiss, just the gentle press of their mouths together, but it sets off a fire inside Lily. It’s unlike anything she’s felt when she shared kisses with James. This makes her whole body come alive, makes the world screech to a stop and her heart hammer against her ribs.

And then Pandora pulls away, far too quickly, and Lily’s mind is like scrambled eggs.

“Was that okay?” Pandora asks.

“I don’t know,” Lily murmurs. Inexplicably, tears spring into her eyes, and she blinks harshly to push them away. Pandora sits back on the other side of the sofa, her eyes going wide.

“Iris, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” Lily repeats. These might be the only words she remembers.

“Was that too much?”

“I don’t know.” Her voice breaks on the last word, and her chest is heaving as she tries to keep breathing.

“Hey, hey, shh. It’s okay, just breathe.” Pandora scoots closer to her again, helping her sit up, and runs a hand down her back soothingly until Lily’s breaths come a little easier again. “Shh, that’s it, nice and easy. In and out, keep breathing for me.”

“Thank— Thank you,” she finally manages.

“You okay?”

She nods, unable to meet Pandora’s eyes. “I need to go home,” she says, getting up.

“Do you want me to walk with you?” Pandora goes to take her hand, but Lily steps away from her.

“No, er… I just… I’m sorry. I think I— I just— I need to think.”

“Okay,” Pandora replies softly. “I’m sorry, Iris.”

Lily shakes her head, her heart in her throat. “No, I— It’s okay. I just— I have to go now. My parents will worry. But I— I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“Okay,” Pandora repeats, in that same quiet voice.

And Lily leaves.

Chapter Text

When Lily came back from the twins’ apartment last night, she could barely say a word. She felt indescribably anxious and confused, and went to bed on the verge of tears again. This morning, she’s not even surprised to find herself in Petunia’s body. She’s not expecting a miracle solution anymore.

But when she receives a note from Regulus saying he’s found absolutely no lead so far, her desperation grows tenfold. It’s only been a day, but knowing her friend, Lily doesn’t doubt that he’s spent every waking minute since they parted ways researching a way for her to get her body back.

“Hey, Lily, can I talk to you?” Petunia asks, pushing the door of her room open.

Lily looks up from the piece of paper, wondering if this could possibly get any worse. “Sure. What’s up?”

“Well, I sort of met your friends, the other day. Mary and Marlene?”

Lily immediately feels herself tense, her shoulders hunching up and her jaw clenching. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, and… Well, Mary sort of invited me to meet up with the whole group today.”

“What?” Lily isn’t sure she’s understanding this right.

“They’re all coming to the park,” Petunia adds, as if that explains anything.

“Er… But you can’t go.”

Petunia looks nervous. Petunia looks nervous? This can’t be good.

“I’m going, Lily. I just wanted to— I wanted to know if I should talk to Regulus?”

“What do you mean, you’re going?”

“I’m going to the park.”

“But why?” Lily asks, incredulous.

Petunia huffs impatiently. “Well, wouldn’t it look weird if you didn’t go? And I already agreed.”

“Why did you agree in the first place? And when did you even meet the girls?”

“They came round looking for you. And, I don’t know, I couldn’t come up with an excuse to say no.”

Lily just stares at her sister, completely at a loss for words.

“So? About Regulus?” Petunia asks, breaking the silence.

“What about Reg?”

“Should I talk to him for you? Or, I don’t know… Just, is there something specific I should tell him? He’ll probably be there, right? Mary said it would be ‘everyone’ so I’m assuming that’s him included. And he knows that I’m, well, you.”

“Oh,” Lily manages. Her brain is having a very hard time making any sense of this whole thing. “Actually, he sent me a letter this morning. He hasn’t found anything helpful yet and wanted to know if anything happened on our end. But… Well, we’re still stuck like this, so. I guess there’s not much to say.”

Petunia nods, though she still seems unsure, as if she’s debating whether or not to say something else. In the end, she leaves the room without another word, and Lily is more confused than ever. Her sister is willingly going to spend time with her friends?

Is this why she asked all of those questions about James and Severus yesterday? Lily doesn’t want to think about it, but her brain doesn’t seem to be able to turn away from it.

Everything that could possibly go wrong in this scenario immediately floods her mind, and she’s suddenly terrified of what Petunia is going to do. She’s sure to try and ruin Lily’s life, somehow. Why else would she agree to meet them all? And why didn’t she say anything about the girls before?

Lily’s stomach twists in anxiety. This is bad. Even if Petunia doesn’t do anything on purpose, there’s no way she can successfully pretend to be Lily around her friends for more than ten minutes. They know her too well, and Petunia is… well, Petunia.

The only thing slightly reassuring about it is that they’ll be at the park—a public space full of muggles, so they won’t be doing any magic. Hopefully they won’t even be surprised if Petunia doesn’t have her wand.

Godric, what a mess.

Lily sits on Petunia’s bed for what feels like hours, just staring at the blank wall opposite her. Finally, she replies to Regulus’s note, warning him that Petunia will be at the park this afternoon and asking him to keep an eye on her.

Once that’s done, she dares to hope the knots in her stomach will somehow loosen—but of course, that would be too easy.

Now she’s back to panicking over Pandora.

Fuck, Pandora.

What in Merlin’s name happened?

Lily forces herself to breathe steadily, and makes a list.

1. They kissed.
2. Lily left.
3. Pandora thinks Lily is a muggle girl called Iris.
4. This is a big, giant mess.

Point 1. is the one she keeps circling back to, even though point 3. is probably the most problematic one. But Lily can’t help herself, can’t stop thinking of Pandora’s soft lips on hers, the way she looked at her just before, such a tender look in her eyes.

And the way her blood boiled, the way fireworks went off in her synapses, the way she would have liked to stay there under Pandora until the end of the world, and then a little longer.

Okay. Breathing. How does that go again? Right, air in through the nose and into her lungs.

Feeling lightheaded, Lily opens the window of the room, then settles back on the bed. This is an absolute catastrophe. She can’t focus on anything for long enough to come up with a plan. She doesn’t even know what she wants!

Well, that’s not entirely true. An unknown, dangerously loud part of her tells her exactly what she wants. And that’s to kiss Pandora again.

But she knows it’s impossible. At least, not as Iris. Her priority right now has to be finding a way to switch back with Petunia, not have a crisis over possibly—definitely—liking girls.

Except if she doesn’t find something to do to keep her busy, she’s going to lose her mind. And probably go and find Pandora. Which is definitely a bad idea.

So Lily decides to kill two birds with one stone, and to follow Petunia to the park that afternoon. That way, she can keep an eye on her, and she won’t be tempted to go to the shop. Pandora might not even be working today, she half-heartedly tries to convince herself. There’d be no point in looking after her. What would she even say?

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Petunia can’t remember a time she’s ever felt so alive.

She’s anxious, even a little scared. Okay, scared shitless, if she’s completely honest with herself. She’s going to spend the afternoon with a bunch of witches and wizards. But she’s also elated. She already knows Mary and Marlene, and Regulus will know that she’s not Lily, so she can hopefully count on him to help her out.

She’s been practicing her magic since Mary showed her how to change the colour of those grass strands. She can’t do much, but after several tries she finally managed to make a piece of paper levitate last night, and that was enough for her to fall asleep grinning.

Now that she knows how it works, Petunia understands why nothing happened when she first tried using the wand. She wasn’t focusing on the right things, and the book she was trying to lift was probably too heavy for a first try. Lily’s wand becomes more and more friendly as she uses it—there’s no other word to describe it. It sort of feels like a part of her body, a muscle she has to exercise to make it do what she wants.

And now that she’s doing it, Petunia can practically hear her blood singing in joy.

Lily doesn’t know, of course. It’s way too early for Petunia to decide what to do with this new knowledge yet. Deep down, she knows she should tell her sooner rather than later—but she’s waited her whole life for this. She just wants to enjoy it for a little bit. For as long as the magic will be hers.

Mary and Marlene are already there when Petunia arrives at the park, and she’s ready for the hug they pull her in this time. It doesn’t feel quite as awkward as it did just a few days ago.

“Ah, here comes Remus,” Mary says as she pulls away from Petunia, looking past her.

Petunia turns around to see the newcomer. He’s tall and lanky, with light brown hair and tanned skin. As he comes closer, she notices a multitude of scars running across his face—it’s a strange look, but he isn’t exactly scary. He also pulls her into a hug, murmuring, “Hi, Lils,” and then waving at the other two girls.

“You not with the others?” Marlene asks him.

Remus shakes his head. “No, my parents insisted I come back home, at least for a few days,” he replies with a roll of his eyes, but his expression is rather fond.

“Here they are!” Mary exclaims again, waving at four figures walking towards them. “Pete must’ve been staying with them. You guys are so inseparable. Borderline codependent.”

“Hello everyone!” the first boy to reach them calls out—James. Petunia recognises his unruly hair and wire-framed glasses from pictures Lily showed them at home.

Behind him stand two boys—the fourth of the group having just thrown himself into Remus’s arms in a flurry of long, black hair. The short, round-faced blond one waves at them all with a smile, while the other—pale, with dark curls and a slightly haughty look—stares right at Petunia. She gulps. This must be Regulus, then.

The group moves too quickly for her to follow who’s talking with whom, until Petunia finds herself faced with Regulus again, who tilts his head to the side, indicating for her to follow him. Gathering her courage, she walks after him, not too far from the group chattering in the sun.

“I assume you’re Petunia,” he says quietly.

“Yes. And you must be Regulus.”

His grey eyes keep staring right at her, like he can read her thoughts if he focuses hard enough. It makes Petunia feel slightly uneasy.

“Don’t do anything to hurt Lily,” he finally says.

That takes Petunia aback a little bit—she can almost hear herself saying those words, in another life. “Of course not,” she replies.

“Good. Let’s move back before they think we’re plotting something.”

Regulus rejoins the group, sitting beside one of the boys—the one with long, dark hair. Petunia quickly imitates him, settling herself between Mary and Remus.

“Everything alright?” Mary asks, leaning in so other people can’t hear them.

“Yeah, all good,” Petunia assures her.

“And er… have you thought about my project?”

“Oh, er… Yes, but I need more time. I think… I think it’s a really great idea, but I don’t want to get your hopes up. I’m not sure I can, er… say ‘yes’ quite yet.”

Mary leans back and smiles calmly at her. “That’s okay. Take your time.”

“Barty, honestly, I’m gonna get you a watch with a permanent sticking charm for your birthday,” Regulus is saying when Petunia focuses on the larger group again. He’s addressing this to a newcomer, who looks completely unbothered as he plops down next to him.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he sasses back, “I’m not even the last one here. Where are the twins?”

“I told you, Pandora said they were going away with their parents for a while.”

“Well what about Dorcas then?”

“I’ll get her a watch too.”

“There she is!” Marlene says, getting up from where she was sitting cross legged on Mary’s other side. She runs up to a tall, dark skinned girl coming up to them, flinging herself at her in a very enthusiastic-looking hug.

“I didn’t know they were so close,” Petunia hears Mary whisper, probably to herself.

Interesting. Maybe this is the girl Marlene had a date with. Petunia can’t help a small smile from spreading on her face at the thought—she is getting way too invested in these strangers’ lives.

Marlene and Dorcas come towards the group, the latecomer greeting everyone. Petunia has always been good at remembering people’s names and faces, but God, this is a lot, even for her. It’s a good thing she already knows Mary and Marlene, and recognised James easily. Looking around again, she notices Regulus looks very much like the person he’s sitting next to, except with shorter hair. They share the same sharp features, pale skin and grey eyes, with black brows and hair.

And then, a silhouette behind Regulus catches her eye; tall and slim, with blond hair.

Lily—in Petunia’s body.

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The sun is blinding when Lily steps outside, and she’s glad to have had the foresight to put sunscreen on. Petunia’s skin is almost as pale as her own—they both burn easily.

She walks to the park slowly, trying not to think too hard about the mess that her life is at the moment. The bright blue sky is like a mockery of her internal turmoil.

She spots her friends as soon as she arrives—a big group sitting in the grass, chatting and laughing. Her heart soars at the sight of them. Lily could live without magic, but not without her friends. It’s suddenly very hard not to run and fling herself at them—she can see the back of James’s head now, and Sirius beside him, then Regulus and Barty, and…

Petunia. Looking right at her.

She’s sitting between Remus and Mary, who’s talking to Marlene, sitting herself beside Dorcas, with Peter closing the circle.

Petunia stands before Lily can come closer, walking over quickly.

“What are you doing here?” she asks as soon as she’s within earshot.

“I wanted to make sure everything's okay,” Lily says, forcing herself to sound confident.

“Everything’s fine! You being here is what might ruin it.”

Lily rolls her eyes. “It’s fine. I wasn’t going to come and talk to them or anything.”

Petunia throws a look over her shoulder before turning back to her, eyebrows pinched and mouth downturned. “Well, they’ve all seen us now.”

“What are you trying to do? Why did you really come here?” Lily asks, sounding more accusatory than she intended.

“What, you think I’m trying to ruin your life? I can’t believe you think so little of me,” Petunia scoffs. “I’m not going to do anything bad, we’re just hanging out! As friends!”

“Oh, you’re friends with them now? Since when? You don’t even know them!”

It’s Petunia’s turn to roll her eyes. “I know Mary and Marlene, and I’m getting to know the others. And what am I supposed to do, stay cooped up in the house all day? It’s summer! I want to go out and have fun!”

“Not two days ago you were calling them all freaks! I don’t understand you.”

“Hey, er, sorry to interrupt,” Regulus says, suddenly next to Petunia. Lily didn’t notice him coming up to them. “You might want to stop screaming before the others hear you.” The two sisters look at him apologetically. “You okay, Lily?”

“Yeah,” she says after taking a deep breath.

“Go home, Lily,” Petunia tells her. “Let me handle this.”

Lily crosses her arms. She can’t help it—when Petunia wants her to do something, Lily immediately wants to do the opposite. That’s just how sisters work, she supposes.

“No, I think I’m going to stay, actually.”

For once, it’s almost fun to rile Petunia up. Lily can see her nostrils flare and her eyes flash, but before she can snap something back, Regulus intervenes. “Petunia, why don’t you just introduce Lily as your sister? The others have never met you, have they? And Lily, you pretend to be Petunia.”

Petunia looks like she wants to argue, but there isn’t much she could say when these aren’t even her friends in the first place. “ Fine,” she finally grits out. “But if we’re found out, it’s on you.”

With that, she turns around and starts walking back to the group, who’s started chatting again, only sometimes throwing a curious glance at the trio. Regulus gives Lily an insistant look before following her, and Lily lets out a breath. She can stay. She has to pretend to be someone she isn’t—but she can spend some time with her favourite people, even if they don’t know she’s her.

“Hey er, this is my sister,” Petunia says when they reach the broken circle sitting in the grass.

A chorus of “hellos” is addressed to Lily, though most of her friends look weary, if not hostile. Well. That’s fair. She hasn’t exactly been overly positive when talking about her relationship with Petunia before.

Regulus sits back down next to Dorcas, so Lily settles between him and Peter.

“You’re Petunia, right?” the boy asks her.

Lily feels her heart beating wildly as she replies, “Yeah. And you?”

“Peter,” he replies with an easy smile. “Nice to meet you.”

Lily smiles back, already feeling better. This is going to be fine. No one will think she’s acting weird; none of them have met Petunia before, so they won’t know she isn’t usually like this. She can be friendly and have a good time, and no one will suspect anything.

She’s thought about it more since Petunia told her she was going to spend time with her friends, and she doesn’t want anyone else to know. Regulus can be helpful; the others would just panic, or want her to go to St. Mungos, or talk to adults. And even if someone believed them, they would then probably do all sorts of experiments on them. Who knows what the wizarding community would think of this situation?

No, Lily can’t let anyone else find out. She won’t let anything happen to Petunia and her.

Peter goes back to chatting with James, and she looks around the circle. Sirius has moved to lie with his head in Remus’s lap while talking with Barty. Petunia is throwing daggers at her with her eyes, not subtle at all. Lily gives her a look that says get it together and just play along. Petunia rolls her eyes.

Next to her, Mary is watching Lily with a thoughtful expression. When Lily catches her staring, she gives her a sheepish smile and turns to Petunia, whispering. Lily tries not to feel jealous.

She focuses on Regulus, talking with Dorcas and Marlene.

“Well, I haven’t heard from either of them since we said goodbye at King’s Cross,” Dorcas is saying.

“It hasn’t been that long…” Marlene tells her.

Regulus’s eyebrows draw together. “Hmm, but it is weird none of us have heard from them at all. Pandora usually sends me almost daily letters.”

“Yeah, I’ve already written them twice but they haven’t replied.”

Lily’s stomach drops. Maybe she’s going to have to talk to Pandora after all.

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“Why is she here?” Mary whispers.

Petunia tries and fails to find a reasonable explanation to tell her. “I don’t know. She must be trying to mess with me.” Well, that last part at least is true. She can tell Lily is trying to spite her on purpose.

“How’s it been, the both of you under the same roof again?” Petunia grimaces, and Mary smiles sympathetically. “Siblings can be hard.”

“Well, it’d be nice if she could just stay out of my business,” Petunia hisses.

They both look over at Lily, who’s quietly listening to Marlene, Dorcas and Regulus talk. As if feeling her sister’s eyes on her, Lily looks over to Petunia, raising an eyebrow in question. Petunia shakes her head and focuses back on what Mary is saying now.

“Well, whatever. Don’t let her ruin this for you. This isn’t about her.”

Petunia sighs. “I guess,” she agrees halfheartedly.

“I love your hair like that, by the way,” Mary tells her. Petunia brings her hands up to her head, feeling at the hair pulled back into a ponytail. Lily usually wears them down, or braids them when it’s too hot.

“Thanks,” she says.

Lily is wearing Petunia’s blond hair in two short braids. Petunia reluctantly has to admit it looks rather cute. But she always preferred the elegance of a bun or ponytail herself. When they were kids, she’d help Lily put daisies in her braids. They looked so bright in the midst of her red hair, like little twinkling stars, while Petunia’s own hair got so light in the summer it was almost white.

While Petunia’s hair has become a bit darker since then, Lily’s hair is still the same shade of ginger, and slightly more wavy than Petunia’s—not quite curls, but not straight either.

The sun burns on their skin when the shadow of the tree they chose to sat beside moves, and Petunia is proud of herself for managing to perform the sun protection spell on herself before she came to the park; she intended to use it again in case it wore off—she brought the wand with her—but now that Lily’s here, she can’t do that.

Instead, she moves so sit back in the shadow, squinting to watch Mary come to sit beside her again. They chat, and Petunia is once again surprised to see how easily it comes to them even though they’re not actually friends. Others join them in the tree’s shadow, and the rest come to be closer to them while still sitting in the sun.

At some point, someone puts a small radio in the middle of their circle and music blasts through it. Thankfully, the park is big and the people closest to them are so far away Petunia can’t even tell what they look like, so they’re not bothering anyone. Marlene and Sirius—Petunia finally caught the boy with long black hair’s name—get up and start to dance, a little on the side, making a show of themselves and grinning when their friends laugh. Petunia laughs right along with them.

Mary joins them, and after a few minutes, comes to stand right in front of Petunia, right hand extended in invitation. Petunia shakes her head, but Mary won’t be deterred. She comes back at the start of every new song, until Petunia gives in and lets herself be pulled up by the grinning girl.

James has also joined them, and the five of them hold hands and skip in a circle, which sounds ridiculous but feels incredible. Lily comes and takes Marlene’s hand in hers, offering her other one to Petunia. She grabs it against her will, not wanting to stop the circle from moving.

Lily’s hand is bigger and slimmer than hers—though it’s normally the other way around. It’s hot and a little clammy, but the way their skin presses together takes Petunia ten years back. They’re kids again, always holding hands and giggling as they run after a butterfly, as they sit together waiting for the bus, as they stare at a dinosaur’s skeleton in the museum their parents took them to that one time.

When was the last time Petunia felt her little sister’s hand in hers?

The song ends, and Marlene breaks the circle, collapsing in the grass and breathing heavily. The others stop moving, and Lily drops Petunia’s hand. Mary is still holding her other one. Sirius goes back to sit with Remus in the shadow while Marlene crawls towards Dorcas.

“Dance with me?” she asks, grinning crookedly.

Dorcas blinks a few times before standing, pulling Marlene up with her.

Sweat trickles down Petunia’s neck, so she goes to sit back in the shadow, Mary settling in beside her again. Lily looks at Dorcas and Marlene dancing for a few seconds before sitting back down as well.

Right. Lily doesn’t know that her friend is a homosexual.

Petunia watches her sister watch her friends, trying to guess what she’s thinking. Does she suspect anything? What would she say if she knew?

Sirius lying with his head in Remus’s lap again attracts her attention—Lily knows about them. Would she think any differently of Marlene, though? Because she’s a girl? They did share a dorm for seven years. Petunia hopes Lily is not so closed minded. Marlene seems like a very fun person, and a good friend.

And then, Petunia doesn’t have to wonder how Lily would react anymore, because Dorcas and Marlene kiss. Right there. In front of everyone.

“I fucking knew it!” Mary squeals, while Regulus says, “Fucking finally.”

Petunia can’t make out everyone else’s reaction, focused as she is on her sister.

Lily stares at the two girls, who are now looking back at the group with matching bashful smiles. Her expression is unreadable, and she doesn’t do anything for what feels like an eternity. Petunia has half a mind to shake her out of her stupor when she suddenly gets up and mumbles a quiet goodbye at large.

Petunia immediately follows her and grabs her arm to hold her back once they’re far enough from the group.

“Don’t tell me you have anything against Marlene and Dorcas,” Petunia says.

“What?” Lily’s eyes widen and her face wears an expression of such surprise it looks cartoonish. “No, of course not!”

Petunia shakes her head in confusion. “Why are you leaving then?”

“I thought you’d be glad. You didn’t want me here in the first place.”

And oh, if that doesn’t sound like a conversation they’ve already had.

“You leaving now is just weird,” Petunia mumbles.

Lily searches her face. “You’re okay with… with Marlene? And Dorcas?”

“You thought I wouldn’t be?”

“I… I don’t know. I mean, they’re not even your friends. I thought you hated them.”

Petunia scoffs. “I don’t hate them.”

Lily looks like she wants to say something else, but she simply takes her arm out of Petunia’s grip and leaves. Petunia watches her go until she can barely make her silhouette out anymore, then goes back to sit with the group.

Chapter Text

Petunia goes to bed angry.

She doesn’t know exactly why she’s so angry, and that honestly just makes her even angrier. Every little bad thing piles up in her mind, until she can’t think clearly anymore.

Lily not trusting her to be around her friends. Lily wanting to stay, that look on her face stating clearly she wanted to make Petunia mad. Lily wearing Petunia’s blond hair in childish braids. Lily’s sweaty hand in hers when they danced. Lily’s impassive face when her best friend kissed a girl. Lily’s wide, fearful blue eyes as she said, I thought you hated them.

Petunia huffs and rolls onto her side in her sister’s bed.

She can’t stop thinking about it. Her own voice echoes in her mind, Lily’s words somehow sounding colder than they usually do when they fight. Not desperate this time, just… defeated. I thought you hated them.

The thing is, Petunia doesn’t hate them. She expected to hate them, but she really, really doesn’t. Not Marlene and Dorcas, who spent the rest of the afternoon wrapped in each other, nor Sirius and Remus, who seemed just as in love as the girls did. Petunia doesn’t even hate Regulus, whose eyes she felt on her occasionally, but he didn’t say anything more to her after their first conversation.

She can’t say they’re her friends exactly, but she doesn’t hate them.

Petunia thinks about Mary. Her wide smile when Petunia finally gave in and got up to dance with her. The way she laughs with her whole chest, loud and wonderful. Like there’s no reason to hold back, like everything brings her joy.

Mary, yes. Mary she would like to call her friend.

This is the thought Petunia falls asleep to, and when she wakes the next morning, she’s calm. The memory of the day before greets her mind as she comes to, blinking slowly to make out her sister’s room in the darkness. She remembers the sun, the grass, the music. She remembers the laughter and talking with Mary. She chooses not to linger on the fact that Lily came and left abruptly.

Petunia sits up in the bed and takes the wand she put on the bedside table last night in hand. “Wingardium leviosa,” she says softly, making a swish and flick movement. Lily’s shirt she left on her desk chair floats into the air, and Petunia feels herself smile.

She lets the piece of clothing fall back onto the chair before trying to lift something heavier, one of the books Lily left on her desk. It might have been too heavy to start with, but now that Petunia is getting a hang of the wand, she wants to try again.

It doesn’t even budge the first two tries, but with the third swish and flick of the wand, Petunia puts all of her focus on the book, and it slowly detaches from the desk, floating a few inches into the air, before falling back with a loud thump.

This Petunia considers a win.

She feels like the magic is getting stronger; or maybe she’s just more attuned to it now. It thrums in her veins at all times, a subtle warmth she can summon at will.

She decides to try something new and closes her eyes, putting the wand down in her lap. She holds her hands up in front of her, concentrating, trying to will the piece of wood into her waiting palms.

When nothing happens, Petunia cracks an eye open. The wand lies motionless on top of the heavy cover. She sighs, then stares at it more intently. She breathes in deeply, then out, and in again, imagining the air from her lungs like smoke tendrils coming down to wrap themselves around the wand, then pulling on them to bring it up, up, up.

Her hands are shaking slightly, but she’s so close now, she can feel it, the wand is going to move, it’s going to float up into her hands, Petunia knows it. And it does.

The wand moves so fast she almost doesn’t catch it. One second it’s there, on the bed, the next it’s shooting right to where her hands are waiting above it and she closes her fingers around the piece of wood.

She did it.

Again, Petunia feels her face split into a grin, and she can’t stop a delighted little sound from escaping her. She did it!

This kind of magic feels incredible. Even more so than the spells she’s been doing with the wand. Those feel much more constrained and practiced. This was raw. The simple, thrilling power of making an object move with the sheer force of her mind. Petunia feels high on the feeling.

She wants to try it again, but it demanded so much concentration, she isn’t sure she can manage it again right away. So instead, she uses the wand to make a few pieces of clothing levitate again, satisfied that she can do this easily now.

Petunia only gets out of bed when her stomach starts gurgling so loudly she can’t ignore it any longer. Sighing, she hides the wand under her pillow. If she could, she’d keep practicing all day.

Downstairs, Petunia makes her way into the garden to join her parents.

As she eats her toast, she thinks about Lily’s friends again. The way that Marlene and Dorcas looked at each other; the way that Remus ran his fingers through Sirius’s hair. The obvious love there, so soft and tender it makes her ache a little. It isn’t something she’s used to—she watched, transfixed, the way Sirius’s mouth grew into a smile that was aimed at only one person.

There was something between those two people, and between the two girls, something gentle and unmistakable. Something Petunia only observed rarely, on early mornings when she was younger and caught her parents kissing in the kitchen, or when she went to the cinema and saw a young couple holding hands.

It wasn’t something she’d ever experienced herself, and she couldn’t help but be fascinated by it. Lily’s words fleet through her mind again.

You’re okay with… with Marlene? And Dorcas? I mean, they’re not even your friends. I thought you hated them.

How could Petunia ever hate them? When what they shared was so beautiful, so obviously full of joy?

Even if she doesn’t feel that way about Vernon, Petunia appreciates love too much not to feel happy witnessing this sort of relationship between other people.

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Lily wrings her hands together in front of the shop.

A customer steps out, making her jump.

Well, here goes nothing.

Pandora is sitting in her usual spot, looking at a stack of jewellery in front of her. Her eyes meet Lily’s across the shop, and she gives her a timid smile. Lily smiles back.

“Hey,” she says, moving towards the counter.

“Hi,” Pandora replies.

“How are you?” The question feels unnatural, too impersonal, but she doesn’t know how else to start this conversation. Everything she has to say is too heavy to just blurt out of the blue.

Pandora shrugs. “How are you?” she asks back, eyes searching Lily’s.

She sighs, and looks down at her twisting fingers. “I need to tell you some stuff,” she says after a tense silence.

“Okay.”

Lily can’t bring herself to look at her, so she keeps her head down. “I lied to you. My name is not Iris. I’m sorry. But I need you not to freak out about the next bit, okay?” She risks a glance up, and Pandora’s encouraging expression keeps her from bolting. She takes a deep breath, then admits, “I’m Lily Evans. I know this is hard to believe, but a few days ago, me and my sister mysteriously switched bodies, and I’ve been trying to figure out how it happened and how to fix it, but so far I haven’t found anything.” Pandora’s eyes widen progressively as Lily tells her story. “This is Petunia’s body. She’s a muggle. The day that we met, I was so caught off guard by you being here I didn’t realise you wouldn't recognise me until it was too late.”

“You’re… Lily?”

“Yeah.”

“What— Why didn’t you tell me from the start?”

“I was scared,” she admits. “I still am, to be honest. The only person who knows is Regulus. I don’t want anyone else to find out and force us to go to St. Mungos or something. I’m scared of what they’d do to us.”

Pandora’s eyebrows furrow slightly. “So why are you telling me now?”

Lily lets out a breath she hadn’t realised she was holding. It seems like Pandora believes her. “I couldn’t keep lying to you. Not after…” She feels her cheeks redden, but gathers her courage and pushes through. “Not after we kissed.”

Pandora bites her lip at that, as if just realising who it is she actually kissed. “Okay.”

“There’s… something else.”

“Yes?” Pandora prompts when Lily doesn’t continue.

For some reason, she’s more nervous about this than telling the truth about her own identity. It feels like she’s overstepping. “What are you doing here, Pandora? According to Regulus, you’re supposed to be on holiday with your parents.”

Pandora looks away from her, letting the silence hold before saying anything. “I can’t tell you everything.” Lily waits for her to continue when Pandora meets her gaze again. “We ran away. Because Evan— Evan is a boy. And he couldn’t be that if we stayed at our parents’.”

Lily nods slowly and tries not to cry. Her heart breaks for these two people who’ve had to escape their own family; she thinks of Sirius and Regulus, the first month after they had moved to the Potters’. They were so tense and jumpy all the time. They were lucky to find such a loving family to take them in. It seems like not everyone has that chance.

“But why didn’t you tell your friends?” Lily asks around the lump in her throat.

Pandora shakes her head. “Evan. He wasn’t ready to tell them.”

“Oh.” Lily is still confused about this whole thing. “And why did you come here ?”

The girl shrugs. “We just picked a random town away from the family house, to be honest. I had no idea you lived here.”

They stare at each other for a moment, both dumbstruck by what they just shared.

“Lily?” Pandora says quietly.

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

She doesn’t really know how to reply to that.

Sensing her hesitation, Pandora stands and comes around the counter to pull Lily into a hug. She melts into it, burying her face in Pandora’s shoulder and wrapping her arms around her waist. She feels Pandora’s hands rubbing soothing circles on her back, and lets out a sigh. The heat in the small shop is still unbearable, and they’re both sweaty, but Lily doesn’t care. Pandora holds her, and for a few minutes, the world doesn’t feel like it’s ending.

“What are you going to do?” Lily mumbles when they pull away. Pandora’s arms stay around her, but the space between their bodies allows her to look down into Pandora’s dark eyes.

“What do you mean?” she asks, furrowing her brows.

“I mean, are you planning on staying hidden in the muggle world forever?”

Pandora bites her lip before replying. “No, probably not.”

“Regulus, Dorcas and Barty are worried about you,” Lily informs her gently.

“You’ve seen them?” Pandora’s eyes widen a bit.

Lily nods. “Yesterday, I… Well, the group was meeting up and my sister didn’t know how to say no, but I was scared of how she’d handle it, so I went there too, and…”

“What were you scared of?”

Lily shrugs, looking down at the floor again. “My sister and I don’t exactly get along. I thought she’d… I don’t know… Try to do something. It sounds stupid.”

“No, that’s not stupid,” Pandora replies. “I don’t know her, but if you don’t trust her, I’m sure you have a good reason.”

Lily looks up to find a soft expression on Pandora’s face. “I want to trust her, though. But she keeps pushing me away, and I can’t—” She falters. “My friends are what’s most important to me. I don’t want her to ruin that because she doesn’t understand.”

“Has your relationship always been so strained?”

“Not always. We were really close as children, but when I started doing magic, and then when I went to Hogwarts… It drove us apart. But this past year, it’s gotten worse. She just got engaged, and I don’t even understand why, because the man she plans to marry doesn’t make her happy, and I just— I just don’t get it.”

Pandora hums in thought before saying, “Well, I’m no expert, but I think perhaps… It could be that those feelings caused you to accidentally do some pretty strong magic. Like, say, switch bodies with your sister.”

“That’s possible?”

Pandora shrugs. “Anything is possible.”

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There’s a knock on the door, and when Petunia opens it, she can’t help but smile at the sight of Mary.

“Hey Lily,” she greets her.

“Hi Mary,” Petunia replies, ignoring the way her stomach churns at the name of her sister.

“Sorry to drop by unannounced,” she starts, smiling sheepishly. “But I thought we could do something together today? If you’re free?”

“Yeah!” Petunia smiles brightly. She can’t believe Mary wants to spend time with her. “Do you wanna come in? Or go to the park?”

“Oh! Yeah, we can stay here. I want to see what your room looks like.”

Petunia lets Mary step inside and closes the door behind her before leading the way into the living room and to the stairs. She’s suddenly very self-conscious of all the photos up on the walls—of her parents, with friends and family; young and carefree on their wedding day, then not so young anymore. But mostly, there are pictures of Petunia and Lily.

It hurts to look at them for too long—Petunia usually keeps her gaze locked straight ahead as she goes up the stairs and walks along the corridor, but Mary keeps stopping to look at the framed images.

“Is that Petunia?” she asks, pointing to one of Petunia on her eighth birthday.

Petunia nods, emotion constricting her throat. That was such a good day. Not so long before everything started to change, but they were both old enough to imagine real, elaborate scenarios for their games. Petunia was wearing a pink dress, smiling in front of her cake adorned by lit candles.

The picture next to this one was taken just a few seconds after; the two sisters hugging in front of the blown out candles. Lily had the same pink dress as her.

“Oh, and that’s you! You were so cute,” Mary gushes.

“Come on, let’s go.” Petunia pulls her into Lily’s bedroom and watches as Mary looks around.

“Let’s paint our nails,” Mary decides, picking up a pouch from the shelves.

She settles on the floor, sitting with her legs crossed, and takes the little coloured bottles out, setting them in a line in front of her. “Where’s your red? Ah, here it is.” Petunia sits down beside her. “You should do green, the one that goes with your eyes so well. This one,” Mary suggests, pushing said nail polish towards Petunia.

They set to work, the strong chemical smell filling the room; they open the window. Mary uses her wand to add golden details on her nails—Petunia recognises the Gryffindor colours.

When they wander back downstairs, they find Barbara in the kitchen.

“Hello Mrs. Evans,” Mary greets her politely.

“Hello, dear,” Petunia’s mother replies. “You’re Mary, right? How are you? How are your parents?”

“Very well, thank you. It’s nice to get out a bit though, the apartment gets crowded in the summer, what with all my siblings.”

“You’re welcome to stay for lunch, if you like. Oh by the way, Lily, Vernon is coming for lunch again today. Petunia had to go when he came round the other day, so I invited him to come again.”

Petunia does her best to smile at her mother. “Alright.”

“I’d love to stay,” Mary pipes up. “Thanks so much Mrs. Evans. I’ll ring my parents to let them know.”

“Perfect,” Barbara replies. “Lily, go set the table outside.”

Lily arrives shortly after, Vernon in tow, and sends Petunia a desperate look. She can only purse her lips and hope her sister withstands another meal with her fiancé.

When everyone is around the table, things start to get awkward. Or, Petunia supposes, even more awkward than they already were. Lily sits stiffly next to Vernon, who talks as loudly as he always does, while Petunia’s parents try to appear interested. Mary steals glances at Petunia, raising her eyebrows as if to say, Is he always this bad?

Petunia also catches her sister staring at her and Mary—she recognises the longing in those blue eyes as her own jealous tendency. It sends a thrill through her body, though she doesn’t know if it’s good or bad.

Her stomach sinks when Vernon starts to talk to Mary.

“So where are you from?”

“London,” she replies simply.

“No, but I mean— Where’s your family from?”

Petunia doesn’t miss the way Mary’s hands clutch tightly around her fork and knife. “England,” she grits out.

“Really?” Vernon at least has the decency not to insist. “What do your parents do?”

“My father’s an engineer, and my mother works in sales.”

“An engineer, you say? Never heard of a black engineer. And what will you be doing?”

“I’d like to teach.”

“Teach?” Lily blurts out. Mary looks over at her with an anxious smile. Petunia bites her tongue.

“Yes. Primary school.”

Lily blinks a few times, seemingly coming to her senses and remembering Mary doesn’t know that she’s her friend. “That sounds lovely,” she says.

“Well, I’m sure you’re going to have to work very hard for it,” Vernon comments.

Petunia looks down at her plate; she forces herself to eat, hoping her mother won’t make any comments while they have company. Thankfully, she doesn’t.

Vernon’s attitude is grating Petunia’s nerves, to the point where she has to excuse herself and hide in the bathroom at one point, after yet another comment hinting at Mary’s skin colour. She feels awful for having put her friend in this situation, and takes a minute to breathe deeply, in and out, before coming back out. Her sister sends her a significant look, as if she knows exactly what Petunia is thinking.

Maybe this man isn’t who she wants to raise a child with, after all.

But before she can decide what to do with this gut feeling telling her to run, lunch ends, and Vernon takes Lily away for a walk. She glares daggers at Petunia over her shoulder as they leave the house. Petunia has never felt more sorry for her sister.

Mary doesn’t stay long after, though she assures Petunia that she’s okay.

“Really, I’ve heard way worse things. He sucks, but don’t worry about me.”

After she leaves, Petunia secludes herself in the bedroom to practice magic again.

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Vernon is particularly awful today. Lily has to actively focus on not listening to him so as to prevent herself from resorting to physical violence. Their walk, she guesses, is supposed to be a nice, private moment. But she’s not Petunia, and she can’t bear this man’s company any longer, so when she feels her self-restraint running thin, she fakes a headache that forces her back home.

Thankfully, he doesn’t insist on spending the rest of the day together.

Lily’s relief is short-lived as she remembers the conversation she needs to have with Petunia.

She knocks on the door to her bedroom and finds her sister there, standing by the head of the bed. She has Lily’s red hair tied into a bun and looks at her with a blank expression.

“Hey,” Lily says. “Can we talk?”

Petunia stiffens, but nods silently.

“I, er… I just don’t understand how we got here, Tuney.”

“What do you mean?”

She knows Petunia is just playing dumb. Her confused expression is hiding something, something vulnerable Lily hopes she can make her unveil.

“I feel like we don’t know how to talk anymore.”

“Aren’t we talking right now?”

“That’s not what I—” Lily stops, frustration choking her for a few seconds. “I meant, we just fight all the time. I don’t understand you.”

Lily expected her sister to react to that—if not by agreeing, at least by showing some sort of emotion. But she doesn’t look sad—just uncomfortable.

“Well, it’s not my fault you never ask about my life.”

That stings. The defeated tone in which Petunia says it is a punch to Lily’s stomach.

“I do ask about your life,” Lily replies quietly. Petunia scoffs. “Tuney, please, just—”

“Why do you always call me that?” she interrupts.

“What?”

“Why do you still call me Tuney? I’ve asked you to stop a thousand times.”

Tears well up, blurring Lily’s vision. She breathes in shakily, trying her best to keep her voice steady. “Because you’ll always be Tuney to me.”

For a second, Petunia actually looks a little emotional. But she quickly smoothes her expression over and says, “It’s just a nickname.”

Lily huffs. “Fine. Petunia. Can we just have a normal conversation? Where we don’t try to stab each other?”

She doesn’t reply for a long time, letting the silence stretch between them. Her green eyes search Lily’s carefully, with more attention than she’s seen in what feels like years. Maybe it has been.

Slowly, Petunia sits on the bed, then gestures for Lily to come sit with her. She sighs in relief as she makes her way over, pulling her feet under her legs and wringing her hands in her lap.

“Well?” Petunia prompts, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

“I…” Lily looks away from her, and her eyes land on the picture of her with Mary and Marlene sitting on her bedside table.

She remembers the day it was taken like it was yesterday, though it was over a year ago now, in the winter of their sixth year. They’d all gone to Hogsmeade together, and Marlene had jokingly lamented about how they were always with so many boys now. Mary had laughed, and Lily had said she agreed; she loved her male friends, she really did, but it used to be just the three of them, and it just wasn’t the same anymore. It wasn’t a bad thing, just different—but the three of them still shared a special bond. So they’d asked James to take a picture, in honour of their trio.

It’s such a lovely picture. A pang of nostalgia makes Lily miss her school years, all the time spent in Hogwarts with all of her favourite people.

“Yes?” Petunia’s voice—her voice—pulls her out of her thoughts.

“You used to be my favourite person,” Lily tells her.

This time, the hurt on her sister’s face is painfully clear. “Oh,” she breathes out.

What is Lily doing? What is she saying? “I mean, I love you, Tuney, I’ll always love you. But I need more than whatever we’ve been doing for the past few years. This isn’t… I can’t take it anymore.”

“What did you expect?” Petunia spits out. “You left, Lily!”

“But I—”

“No! There is no ‘but’! You left. You left, Lily.”

It’s the truth. She did leave. Lily wants to turn into a small, weak creature and crawl into her sister’s arms for her to hold. She wishes she could just reach out now and take her hand in hers. She doesn’t move.

Instead, she whispers, “I know.”

“It’s natural we grew apart,” Petunia continues, twisting the knife. “We’ve barely seen each other this whole time, and our lives were very different.”

“But I don’t want to be apart. I want to know you, and I want you to know me,” Lily says. She can feel the tears coming again. “I just don’t understand why you hate me… Why you’re so scared of magic.”

“I’m not scared of magic.” She doesn’t correct Lily about the first part of her statement.

“Then what is it?”

Petunia purses her lips. “You’re the one who pushed me away.”

“What?” And for a second, anger flares so brightly in Lily that she forgets her heartbreak. “I didn’t push you away! You’re the one who kept— who keeps telling me I’m a freak and that you don’t want to hear from me!”

“Because all you talk about is how great your life is without me! Hogwarts, your lessons, your friends! Everything is so perfect here, that’s what you said in your letter the first week after you left.”

“Because I didn’t want you to worry!” Lily bursts out. “Of course it wasn’t all perfect! How blind are you, Tuney? Did you actually think it would be easy for me to fit into this new world, coming from a muggle family?”

“Wasn’t it? Don’t you know how to do magic? Don’t you have a huge group of friends?”

“Yes, I do now, but that doesn’t mean it was easy!”

“Well I couldn’t know that if you didn’t tell me!” Petunia counters.

“I couldn’t tell you! You were already so mad that I went to Hogwarts, I couldn’t tell you anything bad about it. You would have hated it even more. I wanted you to be happy for me. To support me.”

Petunia looks at her with a face suddenly completely devoid of emotion. “It’s hard to support someone who’s not actually here.”

Chapter Text

Lily falls asleep crying, and wakes up with a heavy weight on her chest. Once again, Petunia closed herself off, and they’ve gotten nowhere. She was so sure yesterday that if they talked, if they actually opened up, were honest to each other, they could switch back. What Pandora told her about the influence of emotions on magic resonates in her mind—she knows there’s something there, the key to their situation.

She exits the house early, before anyone else is up. She thinks she’ll lose her mind if she has to face Petunia right now.

At the park, Lily lies in the grass, scrunching up her face as the sun becomes more and more blinding. She can hear birds chirping nearby, and there’s a cool breeze soothing the rising heat.

She must have fallen asleep at some point, because when she next opens her eyes Regulus is there, gently nudging her shoulder.

“Hey,” she says as she sits up, voice a little broken from lack of use.

“Morning. What’s your news?”

Lily sent him another letter last night, asking him to meet up so she could talk to him.

“I don’t know what to do,” she tells him, and then promptly starts crying again. Lily hates this—how easily she cries. Tears always ready to pour, sobs just a conversation away. Regulus looks at her with wide eyes, then quickly pulls her into a hug. It’s a little uncomfortable, the two of them sitting on the ground and Lily collapsing onto Regulus’s chest face first, but his hands on her back are soothing.

“It’s okay, Lils. I’ve got you,” he whispers.

It seems to be a recurring situation these days, Lily crying in her friends’ arms. But it feels good—there’s just too much in her that needs to get out. It’s all tangled and threatening to choke her.

When she calms down, she straightens up and smiles at Regulus. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” he replies.

“I think I may have done it. Switched our bodies. Not on purpose, of course,” she quickly adds. “Subconsciously. Like how kids do magic without meaning to, you know?”

Regulus frowns and nods slowly. “Yeah. Woah. That could explain it, actually… But that’s a really impressive feat of magic. I mean, if you did it, then you can probably undo it, but this is something really delicate. Emotional magic is incredibly old and not very well understood.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“But you were very good at wandless magic as a child, weren’t you?”

Lily smiles despite herself. “Er, yeah, I guess.”

“Those stem from the same part of your magic. So maybe we can find a way for you to channel your feelings for something bigger.”

“But I don’t have my powers,” Lily reminds him. “I haven’t been able to do any of the most basic magic ever since the switch.” Regulus’s eyes light up at that, which surprises her. How is that good news?

“Lily, of course!” he exclaims.

“What? What is it?”

“Your sister!”

“What about her?”

“She must be able to do magic, in your body.”

Lily can’t believe she didn’t think of it before. “Of course…”

“You need to talk to her about it and get her to try. See if anything happens when she holds your wand, and teach her something easy.”

Lily shakes her head, already knowing what Petunia’s reaction to this mere suggestion would be. “Reg…”

“I’m not sure how it all connects yet, but this is definitely a lead…”

“Regulus, she won’t do it. She won’t agree to this.”

He furrows his brows once more. “What do you mean?”

“I know her, she won’t even want to try. She hates that I’m a witch. She resents the wizarding world for taking me away, and now we don’t even know each other anymore.”

“But this might be the only way,” Regulus insists.

“Fuck,” Lily groans. She closes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths—she doesn’t want to have another panic attack right now.

“At least try and talk to her.”

“I tried yesterday. She won’t listen.”

“Lily, look at me,” Regulus says gently, pulling at one of her wrists until she opens her eyes and meets his gaze. “We’re going to figure this out. I think Petunia might surprise you.”

Lily raises an eyebrow, scoffing. “Really?” she deadpans.

“You know, she’s not at all how I imagined her from our conversations.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know,” he admits. “I just think you could get through to her.”

“Well, I tried to talk to her last night, and—”

“These things can take time,” he interrupts, not unkindly. “But she’s your sister.”

Lily sighs. “You don’t know what it’s like,” she tells him. “You and Sirius, you’re so close. You weren’t torn apart by being forced into two separate worlds.”

“Maybe not, but you were close as kids. That doesn’t just disappear.”

“What if it’s too late? It’s been so long, and I don’t even know where to start.”

“I know it’s hard,” Regulus says. “She might not turn out to be who you want her to be. And you might also be someone she didn’t imagine. But maybe you’ll find that you like each other. Just give her time.”

“But we don’t have much time. I’m— I can’t keep up with this facade. We need to switch back.”

Regulus nods in understanding, his grey eyes lost in thought. “Try to let her come to you. Give her the space she needs to trust you.”

“All I’ve been giving her is space!”

“Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have phrased it like that… Make her feel comfortable?” Lily hums, seeing what her friend means but still full of frustration. “Er… Not to make this about me, but I told Sirius that I’m gay,” Regulus tells her.

“Oh, Reg!” She pulls him into another hug, making him sputter out a surprised laugh. “I’m so happy you felt safe sharing that with him.”

“Yeah. I’m not going to tell everyone, but after he and Remus announced they were together, I thought it’d be good to let him know.”

He pulls away from her with a tentative smile, which she returns. “You know, actually…” she starts, trailing off. Her heart beats widely in her chest and her hands are sweaty where she twists her fingers in her lap. “I think I like girls,” she whispers.

Regulus’s expression softens and he nods before hugging her again.

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Petunia doesn’t see Lily until lunch. She forces herself to eat even though she feels sick every time she’s reminded of their conversation from the night before. Her sister gives her a tentative smile, which she can’t find in herself to reciprocate.

She can’t stop thinking of the look in Lily’s eyes when she told her she couldn’t support her if she wasn’t there. Even Petunia knows that’s bullshit. She could have written Lily letters and tried harder to spend time together when she came back during school breaks. But she didn’t.

Instead, she chose to believe Lily didn’t need her, that she had replaced her. And Petunia had never been very good with people; she’d only ever wanted to be with Lily. So to know her sister was making a ton of new friends, spending all of her time with Severus Snape and hundreds of other people just like him, it was more than she could take.

If Petunia couldn’t have Lily all to herself, then it had to be because her sister had become something she didn’t want to have anything to do with. A freak.

But now that Petunia has actually met Lily’s friends and has been practicing magic herself for the past few days… She doesn’t know what to think anymore. She has spent so much time convincing herself that she hates her sister that it’s hard to remember where the feeling came from in the first place. Because living Lily’s life has made her sure of one thing: that isn’t all that she’s been jealous of this whole time.

Petunia lies on her back in a reclining chair in the garden, the sensation of magical sun screen now familiar against her skin. The heat makes her limbs heavy as she closes her eyes against the bright blue sky; she dozes for a while, before eventually making her way back into the house, feeling like she’s half in a dream.

She has to talk to Lily.

She finds her in her bedroom, fiddling with the wand. Petunia feels a pang in her chest—this is it. She has to come clean.

“Lily,” she says, and Lily must not have noticed her before because she jumps, turning to face her fully.

“Tuney, I—”

“I need to tell you something.”

There’s a short silence, then Lily says, “Okay.”

Petunia briefly closes her eyes, wishing she had enjoyed doing magic more when she did it for the last time this morning. “I can do magic in your body,” she blurts.

When Lily doesn’t reply, Petunia peels her eyes open to find her sister staring at her with big, round eyes. “You can…”

“Yeah,” Petunia confirms, nodding. She takes a tentative step forward.

“How…”

“You wand,” she explains. “I could sort of… feel it. And when I touched it, I knew I could do magic.”

“And you’ve managed to…” Lily can’t seem to remember enough words to finish any of her sentences.

“Er, yeah… Mary helped me understand how it works. How to channel it.”

“I see,” Lily breathes.

“Do you think it could help us? To switch back?” Petunia asks a little sheepishly. She feels bad for keeping this information to herself for so long when it possibly could have saved them a lot of very uncomfortable situations.

Lily nods slowly. “Yes, I think so. I actually meant to ask you to try, to see if it worked.”

“Oh.”

“I saw Regulus this morning, and we think it might be tied to my emotions.”

Petunia frowns. “Do you mean the magic, or…”

“Well, yes, but—” Lily stops and clears her throat, looking away from Petunia. “More specifically, the switch,” she continues more quietly.

“So… you would have accidentally caused it.” It’s more a statement than a question.

“Er, yeah, more or less.”

“I see.”

“Well, at least now we have something to work with,” Lily says with forced enthusiasm. Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes, and her voice sounds strained. Petunia knows that it’s because of her.

“Lily,” she calls her softly so her sister looks at her again. Her blue eyes seem to contain more grief than Petunia has ever seen in her reflection before. “I’m sorry,” she forces past the sudden lump in her throat.

Lily’s mouth opens slightly, but she doesn’t say anything.

“I don’t hate you,” Petunia says next. Because it’s true. Because she can’t let Lily believe that it isn’t for even a second longer.

Tears spring into Lily’s eyes, and she wipes them with the back of her hand. “Fuck, I just can’t stop crying these days,” she mutters.

Petunia feels tears pour down her own cheeks and huffs out a laugh at her sister’s remark. “Sorry,” she says thickly.

“Why—” Lily’s voice is broken off by a sound halfway between a gasp and a sob. “Why did you… Why—” She breaks off again, apparently unable to ask her question.

But it’s alright. For once, Petunia knows what she means. “Because,” she explains, and she’s really crying now, “it was the only thing I could keep from you. You have—had everything, and I couldn’t have you. You were theirs. And I wanted you to stay mine forever.”

“I just wanted you to love me,” Lily manages through her tears.

Petunia waits for them both to calm down a little before saying, “I just wanted you to remember I was there.”

“Tuney, what you said… I don’t belong to anyone. I don’t belong to you or them. Alright? I’m my own person.”

They stand there, facing each other, and Petunia can only nod. Of course Lily is her own person; she’s so much more than a sister or a witch. She’s both, but other things, too. Petunia didn’t want to see it before, but there’s no denying it anymore. They both became their own individual, and to learn who they are again they have to be open to more aspects of each other than what they thought they knew.

“I know, Lily,” she says after a while. “I just missed you, and it was easier to push you away than to acknowledge I needed you.”

And that’s when her sister throws herself into her arms.

 ݁.⋆❀˖⁺‧₊˚✿˚₊‧⁺˖❀⋆. ݁

Lily throws herself into her sister’s arms, and after a second or two, Petunia hugs her back. They cling to each other tightly, chests pressed together and hands splayed on each other’s backs to pull ever closer. Petunia, still being in Lily’s body, is shorter, and Lily has to duck her head to snuggle her face in her neck.

After an indeterminable amount of time, Lily feels Petunia gently run her hand over her hair, pulling a few sticky strands out of her face. She lifts her head to look into green eyes, calmer and more open than she can remember her sister’s expression ever being.

“I’m sorry,” Lily whispers.

Petunia looks at her with a thoughtful frown, then gently shakes her head, still caressing Lily’s hair. “I’m your big sister. I should have—”

“That’s bullshit,” Lily interrupts. “Just because you’re a couple of years older than me doesn’t make you any more responsible for any of it. I just thought… Severus said you were jealous.”

“I mean, yes, now that I’ve done magic myself, I can admit to that. But really I just hated the idea of you leaving and making other friends.”

Lily breathes in and out shakily. “We’ll be okay, right?”

Petunia’s gaze doesn’t falter. “I hope so,” she murmurs.

And Lily’s eyes are welling up again. “I missed you.”

Her sister brings her hand down to her face and delicately wipes away the tear tracks on her cheeks with the pad of her thumb. “I’m here now, Lily. You can talk to me.”

She keeps crying silently in Petunia’s embrace, for so long she thinks she’ll be completely dehydrated when it stops. At some point, they sink to the floor, sitting with their legs tangled and Lily’s head resting against Petunia’s chest, arms still wrapped around each other.

“Tuney,” she whispers into the quiet of the bedroom.

“Yeah?”

“I’m gay.”

Petunia’s hand stills in her hair for a few seconds before continuing her stroking. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Lily repeats. “What do you mean, okay?”

“I… Okay? I mean, that’s fine, Lily. It doesn’t change anything.”

Lily blinks a few times in confusion. “I made such a big deal out of telling you,” she chuckles. “I wasn’t even sure if I would, to be honest.”

Petunia pushes her off so Lily straightens and looks at her. “I’m sorry you were scared to tell me. It’s really not a problem. I promise.”

Lily looks between her eyes, searching for a lie, for a sign of disgust or rejection. She can only see forest green curiosity. “Okay. Thank you.”

“When did you find out?” Petunia asks, cocking her head.

Lily opens her mouth to reply, then closes it abruptly. “Er… sort of… recently?” she says.

Amusement flickers on her sister’s face. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But you can, if you do. I’m interested.”

Lily looks away and sighs. “Maybe another time.” Then, turning back to face Petunia directly, she says, “I love you.”

Petunia opens her mouth to reply when the room shakes, and they both look at each other with wide eyed expressions. Lily grabs her sister’s hands in hers, clinging to them as she squeezes her eyes shut in fear, but the shaking stops as abruptly as it began.

When Lily blinks her eyes open, Petunia is looking at her with the same wide eyed expression as before, only this time, her eyes are blue.

“Holy shit,” Lily breathes out.

“Is it— Did we do it?” Petunia asks, turning her gaze from Lily to her hands which she holds in the air in front of her. “Did we switch back?”

Lily looks down at herself, recognising her larger body, her smaller hands. “I think so.”

She scrambles up to go look at herself in the mirror—and see her green eyes, freckled face and ginger hair in the reflection. Petunia comes to stand next to her, taller and a bit paler. They look at each other through the mirror and grin. Then Lily turns to pull Petunia into another hug, and this time she can tuck her head under her sister’s without any effort. They don’t let go for a long time.

“God, I was starting to think we might stay stuck like that forever,” Petunia says with a small laugh.

Lily giggles, unable to feel anything but relief and joy in this moment. “I can’t believe it. We’re normal again. We’re in the right bodies! Tuney, everything’s going to be fine!”

“Well, I don’t know about everything, but it sure is reassuring for the most part.”

Lily pulls back to look up into her sister’s eyes. “Okay. What now?”

“You should check that you can do magic again.”

The wand is still lying on the floor where Lily dropped it earlier in favour of hugging Petunia. She bends down to pick it up, and as soon as her fingers graze the wood, she feels a familiar warmth spread through all of her body. It’s a thrill after missing it for almost a full week; a small burst of light comes from the tip of her wand when she straightens up and holds it firmly in hand.

“How does it feel?” Petunia asks.

Lily smiles. “Like coming home.”

Petunia nods. “Does it always feel so incredible? Or do you get used to it?”

“Both,” Lily replies mischievously. “You get used to it, but it still feels incredible.”

Petunia nods again and looks away. “I kind of wish I didn’t know.”

“Oh.” In the midst of everything else, Lily sort of forgot her sister got to do magic as she was in her body—and liked it, apparently. “I’m sorry.” She feels awful now. Why did she have to say it felt so good?

“It’s alright.” Petunia shrugs, shaking her head. “It wasn’t meant to last… And anyway, at least I understand now. It was never about me—this is just who you are. I wanted you to choose me when there was never even a choice to begin with.”

“If there was, I would have chosen you.”

Petunia smiles softly. “Good thing there wasn’t, then. You wouldn’t have met your friends.”

Lily shrugs. “I would have made others.”

“Don’t be silly, no one could hold a candle to Mary and Marlene.”

“Oh really? You like them that much?”

Petunia nods, still smiling. “Yeah.” Lily smiles back.

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“I’m here for you too, you know. If you want to tell me stuff. I’m interested,” Lily repeats Petunia’s earlier words back to her.

“I…” Petunia isn’t sure what to say. “Like what?”

Lily shrugs. “Like… about your life. I don’t know. What’s your job like? Who are your friends? What colour do you want my dress to be for your wedding?”

“Er… About that. I don’t… I think maybe theremightnotbeawedding,” Petunia pushes past her lips in a barely audible mumble.

“There might what?”

“There might… not be a wedding,” Petunia says again, slower.

Lily’s eyes widen almost comically, and she opens and closes her mouth several times before letting out a soft, “Oh.”

Taking a deep breath, Petunia tries not to let anxiety swarm her mind. She focuses on the facts. “I don’t really… I’m not in love with Vernon. I knew that already. But that’s not the problem, I don’t want to be in love. I don’t care about that.”

“Wait, then why did you get engaged?”

“Because I want children.”

“But… I mean, wouldn’t you rather have children with someone you love?”

“Lily, I… I don’t know how to explain it. I just don’t think falling in love is something for me.” Her sister blinks in surprise but nods. “The problem is that I don’t think Vernon is the right person to have children with.”

Lily keeps nodding, and gives Petunia a small smile. “You can absolutely do better.”

Petunia huffs a laugh. “Yeah. Probably.”

“Oh, definitely. I mean, even if you’re not in love with him, you should still love the father of your kids. Or you can always adopt, you know. You don’t need a man.”

Petunia laughs again at Lily’s stubborn expression. Something heavy inside of her softens at her sister’s easy support. Perhaps this was all she needed all along.

“I know. But I sort of want to be pregnant, if I’m honest.”

“Oh! Well, you’ve got time to figure it out. But if you’re not one hundred percent sure about Vernon, then I think it probably means you shouldn’t marry him.”

The conversation moves on to Lily’s other questions about Petunia’s life—her job is satisfying; she gets along well enough with her colleagues, though she wouldn’t call them friends; she would like to stay in contact with Mary. In turn, Lily tells her about her friendly breakup with James and less friendly falling out with Severus. Petunia can’t deny she still feels a certain satisfaction at his exit from her sister’s life, but she does feel sorry for the pain she evidently still feels. Anger surges through her when Lily tells her exactly what he called her.

“How dare he?”

“He was angry and scared—”

“Lily, I know you two were very close, but that’s a line he shouldn’t have crossed. No matter the circumstances.”

Lily sighs deeply and looks away from Petunia. They’re lying face to face on the bed, Petunia on her left side, Lily on her right. “I know. But he knows too. We probably won’t ever be that close again, but I do miss him.”

Petunia only has bad things to say to that, so she stays silent.

The afternoon bleeds into evening seamlessly; the sky is still light and the heat sweltering when their mother calls them to deck the table outside for dinner.

“You have a good appetite tonight, Lily,” their mother comments. “It seemed like you were trying to restrain yourself more these days.”

Petunia looks up from her own near-empty plate to see Lily eating enthusiastically. As if she had no care in the world.

She shrugs and tells Barbara, “I’m hungry.” Then her eyes find Petunia’s and she smiles at her over the table. She looks beautiful like that.

“Me too,” Petunia says. “This is delicious, mum.”

“Oh, thank you, darling. You’re sweet. But let’s not indulge too much, hmm? The best things come in the smallest amounts.”

“No they don’t,” their father jumps in, and Petunia lets out a breath she hadn’t realised she was holding. “The best things aren’t measurable. Like love.”

There is an awkward moment, during which both parents look at each other in what looks like a silent battle, until Lily clears her throat and asks what everyone is doing this weekend.

“I thought we could all go to the cinema.”

“That sounds lovely,” their father says.

“I don’t know if your sister will have time,” their mother says. “Petunia, when are you and Vernon leaving?”

“Oh, er… I think I’m going to stay a little longer, actually. If that’s alright.”

“Of course! I only thought you wanted to have some time together in London before the end of your holiday. Or isn’t that what you told me?”

Petunia shrugs. “Change of plans.”

“What do you say, then? Cinema tomorrow?” Lily asks with a shy smile.

Some of the pressure in Petunia’s chest ebbs when she nods. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s a great idea, Lily.”

After cleaning the table, they go back up to Lily’s room and sit on the bed.

“How long can you stay?” Lily asks.

“I’m not sure… Maybe another week. I’ll have to check the trains.”

Lily nods. “We could invite Mary. If you want?”

“Yeah, I… Should we tell her?”

“We probably should,” Lily says with a grimace. “If you’re going to be friends. And it’s solved now anyway, so there isn’t much risk.”

“Alright. I should also tell you, Mary asked for your help on something. I bought you some time and said I’d think about it, but I think you should do it.”

“What is it?”

Petunia explains Mary’s wizarding middle school project to Lily, trying to remember all of the details and argumentation Mary used to present it to her. Lily nods along, eyes widening with every word.

“Godric, that is insane,” is what she says when Petunia is done talking. “Why have I never thought of it before?”

“So you’ll do it? You’ll help her?”

“I mean, it won’t be easy. Of course I’ll help. It’s genius.”

“Well, let’s call her tomorrow. Then we can tell her and start making a plan to make the school happen.”

Lily nods, grinning. “Yeah, alright. It’s getting pretty late already.”

Petunia follows her gaze to the window and the dark night behind it. “We should go to sleep.”

“Good night, Tuney.”

They hug quickly, and Petunia gets off the bed to go back to her own room. “Good night, Lily.”

Chapter Text

The bathroom rug under her feet is already completely flat and well on its way to rugged from Petunia’s pacing, but she really couldn’t care less about it right now. She tried sitting on the toilet a couple of times, but her skin felt too tight and her legs felt twitchy and so she’s been pacing for the past—Petunia checks her watch again—twenty-seven minutes.

Three more minutes. Three more minutes, and she’ll know. Well, they’ll have to go to the doctor’s to be sure, but this is the first time Petunia gets to find out alone, and she doesn’t know if it’s better or worse.

She looks at the time; it’s been twenty-eight minutes.

Nobody knows she’s doing this. The new testing method is revolutionary for her, while wizards have had their own methods for centuries. Of course, they don’t work on muggles. Which is just great, awesome, amazing; she rolls her eyes at the thought. It’s been… a process to get here. Never in a million years would Petunia have thought she would ever grow so fond of a wizard that they would get married and try to have children together—yet here she is. Married, and trying… Well, they have been. They have been trying for years now, and it’s about fucking time it worked.

Twenty-nine minutes.

Petunia can’t tear her eyes away from the watch this time. She watches, transfixed, as the small hand counting the seconds ticks and ticks, onwards, unrelenting. Petunia has the sudden urge to stop it; to freeze; to go back. She can’t face another failure. But time continues to move linearly, and in seven, six, five, four seconds she’ll know. Three. Two. One.

Petunia shuts her eyes. She can’t look. She can’t. She can’t.

She does.

And she cries.

She crumples on the floor, gasping for breath, and stays there for another good ten minutes until the crushing weight of life and death feels a little less overwhelming, and she collects herself enough to rise, unlock the bathroom door, and look at her house as if with new eyes.

Someday soon, a little kid will be running down this corridor; there’s the wall where she’ll mark how tall they grow; here’s the fridge she’ll hang up their drawings on.

Reality catches up to her with wretched claws and forces her back into the present, with its fears and doubts. She can’t get ahead of herself; what if it doesn’t work out?

Petunia ends up going back into the bathroom to clean it all up, then wondering what the hell to do. There’s paperwork waiting for her, but her head is elsewhere.

Rabastan is at the Ministry all day today—which is precisely why she decided to do the test today. She wanted to face this alone at least once, now that it’s possible.

His job at the Ministry is how they met in the first place, almost five years ago now. Petunia remembers it like it was yesterday. About a year after breaking off her engagement to Vernon, she and Lily had had a long conversation over the phone at the end of which she decided to quit her job and help Lily and Mary develop their school project. Months later, when they finally managed to get the Ministry to approve what they had planned, someone was sent to work with them, and their celebration had been cut short when they found out who it would be.

Rabastan Lestrange was not known for his progressive views on blood purity.

Yet he was strangely fascinated by the innovative idea of a school for all magical children to be able to attend before Hogwarts. And once he found out Petunia was a muggle, it was like he was a small child discovering the world for the first time.

Maybe that’s what Petunia had found so endearing in the beginning—his childlike curiosity after the shock of the reveal. Working in the wizarding world, she had started wearing their robes to fit in more easily, and she tried to behave as close to whatever their normal was as she could. So when she told him, “You know I’m a muggle, right?” he had simply stared at her, mouth slightly agape, for a good thirty seconds before recovering.

After that, there were a few days where he seemed to avoid her, but Petunia’s position doing most of the paperwork and handling the muggle side of things made it impossible for them to completely ignore each other, and soon enough, he had had to talk to her again.

“I could’ve sworn you were normal,” she remembers him saying.

She had laughed, and said, “Sorry to disappoint.”

Somehow, somewhere along the way, they actually became friends. Rabastan slowly realised not having magic didn’t mean not having a life, and they both shared the same longing for a family hindered by their inexplicable disinterest in romance.

They never fell in love, but they did decide to get married. Twice, because Petunia wanted their children to be easily integrated in muggle society if they didn’t have any powers, and Rabastan insisted on having a traditional wizarding wedding, which Petunia couldn’t deny him, no matter how terrifying and stressful the whole ordeal was. It took a while, but nowadays his brother, Rodolphus, is at least civil towards Petunia, which pleases Rabastan.

They never fell in love, but they do love each other—like friends do. Maybe more so than most friends do, because they both know no one else quite understands them. That’s alright though; they have each other.

Petunia ends up doing some cleaning during which she daydreams about all of the furniture and toys they’ll have to buy for the baby—their baby—while she waits for Rabastan to come home.

They’ve been trying to get pregnant for over three years, since they got married, although they’re admittedly not very enthusiastic about the process, which is why they’ve only had a few appointments with doctors so far. Petunia has hope this time is the time.

Just as she starts to prepare dinner, she hears the front door open, and her husband calls, with the typical tad of irony in his voice, “Honey, I’m home!”

Petunia smiles and goes to greet him at the kitchen door, too impatient to wait a second longer before telling him. “Rabastan, we did it. I’m pregnant.”

His eyes widen for a fraction of a second before his whole face lights up with joy, a brilliant smile on his lips, and he picks her up and twirls her around while she laughs.

They’re going to have a baby.

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Pandora smiles at Lily in that gentle way of hers that never fails to make Lily just a little weak at the knees. Though right now her unsteadiness is more likely due to the fact that their portkey just brought them back to England and she’s still a bit dizzy from the trip around the world through the magical device.

The sky above them is grey and a light drizzle makes the landscape almost blurry.

“Wouldn’t be home without the rain,” Lily says with a laugh.

Pandora tilts her head towards the sky, beaming with her eyes closed. “It’s warm,” she murmurs.

Lily allows herself to stare at her for a few seconds, the way that water is now running down the slope of her nose, her expression peaceful and happy. There is little more grounding, Lily thinks, than looking at someone you love when they’re happy.

“Come on, love,” she eventually says, and Pandora blinks her eyes open. A few droplets cling to her eyelashes. “Let’s go home. Evan and Barty must be waiting.”

She holds out her hand for Pandora to take, and they apparate right into their apartment. Lily is immediately proven right when Barty runs at them to pull Pandora into a hug, and Evan waves at them from behind the kitchen counter.

“Barty, you’re crushing me,” Pandora says somewhat breathlessly.

“Sorry, sorry,” he replies sheepishly as he lets her go and greets Lily. “So how was Japan?”

“Amazing,” Lily tells him. “Now please let us drop our stuff.”

“Right, of course, of course.”

Their luggage, which isn’t very heavy thanks to the featherlight charms they performed on it, is quickly deposited in their bedroom, and then the four of them settle around the table in the living room.

“Well then? How are you both?” Evan asks.

Lily and Pandora share a smile before answering his question. “Really good. The trip was lovely, everyone was so kind. It was stunning.”

“And Panda’s exhibit was a hit,” Lily adds. Her girlfriend’s art exhibit is the reason they were invited on this trip in the first place.

“I wish we could’ve been there,” Evan laments.

“You know what my art looks like. Besides, you know what exhibits are like—it can be quite boring.”

“And you guys?” Lily asks. “What have you been up to this summer?”

Barty and Evan exchange a quick glance. “Well, there was the trip to the sea with Reg and James.”

“Right! How was it? Did you have fun?”

“Oh yeah, lots of fun.” Barty wiggles his eyebrows.

Lily levels him with an unimpressed glare. “Really, Barty. Gross.”

“Come on, Evans, we’re all adults here.”

“Anyway, what else did you do? That was in July, right?”

“Yeah,” Evan continues, “we didn’t have anything planned after that but James had training and since Reg didn’t want to stay alone we took care of him for a bit before he decided he preferred Dorcas over us.” They both sigh dramatically.

“She must be less gross,” Pandora jokes.

“She lives with Marlene,” Barty deadpans.

Lily snorts. “Yeah, when they’re not broken up.”

Evan prepared food while he and Barty were waiting for the girls to arrive, which they end up eating in the middle of the afternoon, being quite out of touch with the time of day it is on this side of the world. The day is spent catching up, and Lily gets cramps from how much she laughs. Pandora asks about the tattoo shop she works at with her brother and Barty, already wanting to get back into the swing of things at work.

After the boys leave, Lily and Pandora fall into bed and promptly fall asleep even though it isn’t even eight yet, exhausted as they are.

The next day is spent unpacking and replying to letters—a pile was waiting for Lily, the new school year starting in little more than a week now and so much organisation having to be done by then.

“Are you ready to leave?” Pandora asks her from the door to the little study where Lily has been sitting for hours.

She checks the time and realises it’s past six already. “Oh, yes, let’s go. Lost track of time.”

Within ten minutes, they’ve both gone through the floo network and are standing in Petunia and Rabastan’s living room.

“You’re late,” Petunia comments as she comes to pull Lily into a quick hug, then nods at Pandora in greeting.

“Hello to you too,” Lily replies and smiles when her sister rolls her eyes. “I’m sorry, someone left a stack of letters for me while we were in Japan that I’ve spent all afternoon trying to get through.”

Petunia returns her smile. “Come now, you know the school couldn’t go round without you and you love it. Mary’s been swamped for weeks, I had to send you some work to do.”

“I missed you too, Tuney.”

“How was Japan, then?” Rabastan asks, coming closer to join the conversation.

“It was incredible,” Lily says, unable to keep the grin off her face.

“It really was,” Pandora agrees. “We’re definitely going back someday.”

“Alright, let’s sit. Dinner was ready before you arrived.”

Lily rolls her eyes when Petunia turns around but follows her sister into the dining room. Pandora sits next to her, across from Petunia and Rabastan. Lily still has a hard time really understanding their relationship but her sister assures her that she’s happy and Rabastan is nice enough.

“So… We have news,” Petunia announces once they’re all seated and served. Lily looks up from her plate to give her full attention to her. “I’m pregnant.” Petunia’s blue eyes look right at her, crinkling at the corners from how hard she’s smiling.

“Oh, congratulations!” Pandora exclaims.

“Tuney, that’s—” Emotion prevents Lily from finishing her sentence, so she huffs a breathless laugh and tries again. “That’s amazing, I’m so happy for you. For you both,” she adds, looking at Rabastan, who barely spares her a glance as he stares at Petunia tenderly.

“Thank you,” her sister replies.

Suddenly, Japan seems a lot less exciting, and Lily spends almost the whole evening asking them questions about the name and which colour they’ll paint the baby’s room and how Petunia is feeling.

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Mary has incredible taste in clothes, which she proves once again when she and Lily accompany Petunia shopping for the baby. It’s a sunny Saturday towards the end of October, and Marlene joins them after her tattoo appointment is over.

“My girls!” Marlene calls, making all three of them spin around to look at her running down the street with a wide grin and throw herself into their arms. Mary takes the brunt of it while Lily and Petunia gingerly join the enthusiastic hug.

“Careful,” Mary reprimands with a laugh. “How are you?”

“Great! Look!” And Marlene disentangles herself from their arms to show them a lion inked on her left wrist, the small animal walking around on her skin with fascinating realism.

“You had to get three appointments for that?” Mary raises an eyebrow skeptically as she inspects the tiny tattoo.

“Obviously not.” Marlene rolls her eyes and elbows Mary in the ribs. “But I can’t show you the big one; it’s on my thigh.”

“The dragon, right?” Lily asks.

“Yes.” Marlene grins at her. “Your girlfriend is amazing, Lily.”

“I know.”

“The lion is cute,” Petunia comments. She doesn’t really understand this urge to get drawings permanently applied under your skin, but she has to admit this one is rather sweet.

“Thanks. You girls should get one as well! Then we’d match! The Gryffindor girls, ya know?”

Mary laughs. “Thank you, but no thank you. I’ll leave the tattoos to you lot.”

Marlene turns to Lily, who splutters, “I—I don’t know… The art is beautiful but I prefer to look at it hung on walls.”

Marlene shrugs. “Guess that leaves me and Pet, then. You’re an honorary Gryffindor.”

Petunia snorts at the thought. “Sorry, Marls, that’s really not for me.”

“Ah well,” she sighs, flinging one arm around each of the sisters’ shoulders to get them to start walking again. Mary slots her arm through Petunia’s. “At least I tried.”

“I’m sure the boys would be happy to get Gryffindor tattoos with you,” Lily jabs.

“Ew, no way am I giving them my genius idea. I doubt Sirius has any space left as it is anyway.”

“That’s true,” Mary giggles.

“So, what have you lovely ladies been up to without me? Find any good stuff?”

“Oh yes, Mary is an absolute angel. I think this baby is going to be the most stylish in all of Great Britain.” Mary smiles and winks at Petunia.

“Good, good.”

“Dorcas couldn’t come today?” Lily asks.

“Er… No, she had a… a thing. Yeah. Been busy lately.”

Petunia immediately senses how the mood shifts; she, Lily and Mary exchange a look before Mary asks gently, “You okay, Marls?”

“What? Of course, yeah. I’m fine.”

“Did you two fight again?”

Marlene rolls her eyes. “We haven’t actually, if you must know. It’s gotten a lot better lately. We’re just… trying not to spend all of our time together. We always end up fighting when we do that.” She sighs. “I don’t know. I think it’s good, but I also wish she came today.”

“You don’t always have to be together to be in love,” Lily says. “You two are sort of… all or nothing, you know? But if you find a better balance, you might not get on each others’ nerves as much.”

“Yeah.”

“I know you two are in love,” Petunia says, “but you should remember you’re also friends. It’s different for me with Rabastan, but reminding each other that you genuinely enjoy each other’s company is important when you live together.”

“That’s true,” Lily agrees.

“And we’re here for whatever you need,” Mary adds.

“Thank you. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Petunia, Mary and Lily see each other all of the time, since they work together at the school, but Marlene and Dorcas live in London, so she can’t see them every day, not even every week. Of all of Lily’s friends, Marlene and Dorcas seem to have the messiest relationship, maybe because they’re both so stubborn, Petunia thinks. But for all that they joke about them breaking up and getting back together, those two always seem to make it work—they might challenge each other, but Marlene once confided in Petunia that she thinks it makes them both better.

Petunia tries not to get too involved in everyone’s love lives anyway; it isn’t really her area of expertise. Most of her friends are settled in relationships in any case, apart from Mary who’s been happily single for a good while now and doesn’t seem to be looking to find someone. The school keeps them very busy already, and Mary is so invested in the children there her friends often need to remind her to take some time for herself.

After a few more shops and Marlene insisting on buying a lion teddy for the baby, they decide to go back to Lily’s to have tea. They walk there as her place isn’t very far, and Petunia sighs contentedly as she takes off her coat and scarf in the warm apartment.

“You know what my favourite thing about magic is?” she says. “How warm it always is when I get home in the winter.”

“Oh, I agree,” Mary says. “The temperature is always perfect, and no need for heating.”

“Exactly.”

“I never understood how muggles even heat their houses,” Marlene admits with a chuckle—the only one not muggle-born between the four of them.

“I’d explain, but I doubt you’re really that interested,” Mary replies.

“Where’s that tea, then, Lily?”

“Give me a minute.”

They settle in her living room, and Petunia takes a moment to look at the few photographs hung among all of Pandora’s art on the walls. There is one of Lily and Petunia on her wedding day, standing side by side and smiling brightly; they look more alike in that picture than they had since they were children. There are one or two of them with their parents; some with Evan and Barty, or the other boys, or the girls; and several more of Lily and Pandora together, always laughing or kissing or smiling at each other, moving slightly in the small frames. Another picture of herself and Lily catches Petunia’s eyes, one of them at the school that was taken at the end of the very first day. She knows all of these photographs well from coming over often, but every now and then, she likes to look at them a little more intently to remind herself that this life is real.

That her sister likes to see her face in her home even when she isn’t here.

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Sirius insists on having a birthday party every year, which takes place on weekends now that they’re all adults with jobs and responsibilities. He and Remus both teach at Hogwarts and have a house in Hogsmeade where the whole group joins them to celebrate.

Lily goes there early, as per requested by Remus, so they can catch up on their book club with Regulus—which quickly turns into them just catching up on life.

“How’s James?” Lily asks. “I feel like I haven’t seen him in ages.”

“He’s good. More in love with Quidditch than with me,” Regulus laments.

“Come on, that’s not something you can even compete with, Reg,” Remus teases before turning to Lily. “You’ll see him tonight though, so you can catch up.”

“Yeah, if I manage to get him away from Sirius for longer than two seconds.”

“Good luck with that.” Regulus snorts. “Quidditch, my brother, then me. That’s the true list of his priorities.” He flops down onto the table dramatically, sighing wistfully.

“Yeah, you’re right. You’re so unwanted.”

“I am! He doesn’t love me anymore.”

“Right, I’m sure that’s why he wants you two to have a wedding ceremony even though it wouldn’t even be legally binding,” Lily jokes.

Regulus immediately perks up, sitting back in his chair and grinning so hard his cheeks must hurt. Remus groans. “Lily, for the love of all four Founders, why did you have to bring that up? We’ll never get him to shut up now.”

Regulus smacks his arm. “You shut up. Lily, did you know Sirius is going to officiate?”

“Can he even do that?”

“No idea, but it doesn’t matter, does it? It won’t really count anyway.”

“That’s true,” she concedes. “But that’s really sweet, Reg. What did Sirius say?”

“Oh, he was over the moon,” Remus says with a smirk. Lily chuckles at his choice of words. “He’s already working on his speech.”

“What? But it’s in April!” Lily laughs.

“He’ll probably rewrite it a thousand times by then.”

“Salazar, he’s going to make it so dramatic, isn’t he? Why did I agree to this,” Regulus mutters.

“He’s your brother! It’ll be great. And he’s James’s best friend. I honestly think it’s a great idea.”

Regulus sighs. “Well, we’ve still got ages to figure out the details.”

Lily quirks a brow. “Goodness, don’t let Petunia let you hear you talk like that. She takes weddings way too seriously.”

“I’m taking it seriously,” Regulus protests. “But it’s still months away, and we’ve settled all of the main points already. It’ll be small anyway, and technically not even a real wedding, so really, I think it’ll be fine.”

Sirius’s birthday party is as loud and chaotic and fun as Lily anticipated. Their whole group is there, plus a few people she doesn’t know very well but whose names she recognises from conversations with Sirius or Remus, and the music is good. She spends a while dancing with the girls, then rests for a bit and finds herself sitting beside Dorcas, who she hasn’t seen in a while, so she’s happy to chat with her.

Later, she dances again, with James, with Sirius, with Pandora at some point. She gets pulled into a conversation about the school with Mary and Petunia, who’s one of the people not particularly close to Sirius but part enough of the group now that it would be weird not to invite her.

“Hey, you’re not supposed to be talking about work,” James scolds them when he hears their conversation.

“No, honey, it’s just you who isn’t allowed to talk about Quidditch,” Mary replies, smirking.

James gasps in false indignance, rounding on Sirius to complain but giving up when he sees his friend is busy snogging Remus. He turns back around to glare at the group of giggling girls, then lets himself be dragged away by Regulus who sends them a wink.

Lily leaves Mary and Petunia to their conversation when Marlene asks her to dance with her again, which she simply cannot refuse. Mary and Petunia actually join them soon after, and Lily lets herself get lost in the sensation of warmth flooding the little house. She almost feels like she’s seventeen again, dancing at a party in Gryffindor tower, getting drunk on cheap firewhisky and feeling so alive, like the whole world is at her fingertips. She throws her head back and laughs, and when she looks up, she stares at the three girls surrounding her, some of her favourite people in the whole world.

Mary’s perfect teeth flash under the magical lights Remus set up for the party, Marlene’s laughter fills the air with joy, and Petunia’s eyes shine as brightly as a glittering ocean under the sun.

The four of them hold hands and collapse into a hug at the end of the song, exhausted and breathless but happy.

When Lily goes home later that night, going through the chimney right after Pandora, she gets to snuggle into bed comfortably with her girlfriend. The temperature in their apartment is just right, and Lily must be quite drunk but it feels nice. Her body is heavy and sinks into the mattress as she tangles her legs with Pandora’s.

“That was fun,” she whispers.

“It was,” Pandora agrees quietly, carding her fingers through Lily’s hair. “They really know how to throw a proper party.”

Lily hums, too tired to reply, and falls asleep a few seconds later.

The weeks and months pass, everyday a new challenge at the school for Lily and a new project for Pandora, and suddenly it’s spring, and Regulus and James are getting married. Lily has tears in her eyes as Regulus hugs her and Pandora tightly, whispering, “I love you both so much.”

“Love you too,” she and Pandora reply together.

It’s a beautiful day, the garden at Potter manor decorated with more flowers than Lily has ever seen, and everyone is in a delightful mood, with no awkward guests or unwanted family members attending. Lily remembers when she thought weddings were absolutely awful, back when Petunia was supposed to marry Vernon Dursley—the memory makes her chuckle. What a strange week that had been.

And then the month following the wedding she gets a call from the muggle hospital from Petunia telling her she’s an aunt, and Lily cries from how happy she is.

Pandora comes to visit with her the next day, and she cries again when she gets to hold her niece in her arms for the first time while Petunia and Rabastan wear the biggest grins she’s ever seen on either of their faces.

“Can you tell me her name now?” Lily asks; they wanted to keep it a secret until the birth, and Petunia refused to tell her over the phone.

Her sister and brother-in-law exchange a quick look before letting their eyes trail back to their daughter in Lily’s arms.

“Iris,” Petunia tells her. Lily turns to Pandora, and they stare at each other for a couple of seconds before both bursting into giggles, then tears of joy roll down her cheeks yet again.

Lily’s heart feels ready to burst with how much love it carries.