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Chapter 1: A Fate Beyond Time

He was running away again. Far, far beyond the expanses of White Space that quickly faded into nothingness as Black Doom's existence and consciousness were eliminated. Far beyond his past, and his future; beyond his ill-fated loved ones and his newfound friends awaiting his return.

Shadow ran, long and hard- trying to run so fast that he could no longer breathe, let alone think. He didn't have the strength to stop, to look back and allow himself the few seconds it would take to process reality once more.

His purpose was behind him. His mission was complete.

His purpose was behind him. He had nothing left to live for.

The transparent White Space surrounding his path had all but faded into a distant fog, revealing the dingy, dark hallways of the ARK once more. The forgotten steel beams and unforgiving glass corridors come to a halt finally, forcing him to stop his futile marathon against fate.

Shadow rests his forehead on the metallic doors in front of him and squeezes his eyes shut, heart pounding mercilessly. There was nowhere else to go, nowhere else to run. He was absolutely drenched in sweat and tears, his quills downturned by the weight. The lack of heating in the abandoned colony quickly caused his soaked fur to chill, and Shadow shivered profoundly. His eyes were still closed, and he frantically tried to stop himself from thinking the inevitable, but the thoughts would come and he knew he was powerless to stop them.

"Only a few moments ago, my forehead rested against hers… And now, I rest it against this cold, unyielding prison which stole her…" Shadow snarled, painful emotions bubbling and bursting up within his chest. Desperation and powerlessness overcame him and he could do nothing but claw meaninglessly at the steel panels of the door, sobbing and growling. He had failed to save her again; let her disappear into oblivion again. There must have been another way to prevent her fate, there must have been… And yet, he had failed for a second time. The purpose Shadow had spent over fifty years chasing.

"A way to bring Maria back to me…"

Her warm smile and touch, as weak as it had been, as they had said goodbye in the White Space, had brought him back to a place he hadn't been since he was a child. Even in such a cruel and heartbreaking situation, the calming alleviation he felt by staring into her azure eyes couldn't be denied. He knew he had done the right thing by letting them go. But still… But still…!

Shadow opened his eyes and snarled once more, completely lost in his rage and turmoil. He sent a Chaos Spear through the door, causing it to explode open with a thunderous bang that echoed down the abandoned hallways. It was only then that he realized Rouge was most likely looking for him and he had now revealed his location. After all, they needed to bring the real Chaos Emerald to Sonic as soon as possible, before he faced the Time Eater.

Shadow was still fully aware of his modern-day responsibilities, and of his pride. The last thing he needed was the responsibility of another world-ending calamity being placed on his shoulders, or for Rouge to see him in such a state. He gritted his teeth, his fang painfully biting at his lip.

"I need to push these thoughts aside and focus… just…" Shadow turned to face the inside of the room in which he just burst into. The wall was a giant sheet of glass, with faint blue light reflecting inside from the outside stars, moon, and the few external mechanisms still functioning to keep the ARK barely operational. His eyes quickly adjusted and he realized where he was standing.

"Maria's… Room."

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Just like that, Shadow was a pup again, zipping around her room in excitement. It was his first time being allowed inside, as the Professor hadn't been sure if Shadow may have been a potential allergen for Maria. After extensive testing on his fur, quills, and skin, he was shown to have been no threat to the sickly girl, at least not as a cause of any major allergies. Delighted, Maria had immediately invited Shadow to her room to play. She had been waiting a long time to be able to spend quality time with her new friend, away from clinical safeguards like gloves and masks and from nosey scientists treating the pair like test subjects. Maria wanted to be able to speak to Shadow about anything. She had so many questions for him, as he did her. But more than that, she wanted them to become closer. Shadow was still wary of humans, understandably, but Maria wanted him to be able to trust her completely. Every time she looked at him, a wave of maternal affection washed over her, despite her young age of eleven.

Shadow had been revealed to her, or as she preferred to think of as born, on her eighth birthday by her infamous and brilliant grandfather. Still too young to understand the situation fully, Maria would spend countless hours peering into the glass holding Shadow's unawakened figure. "He's still growing," Gerald would try to soothe her impatience to meet him, "Very soon, Maria, it will be very soon…" Unfortunately, she would have to wait another year before he would be awoken, and almost another before she would be allowed to spend any time with him. The first year were tests and more tests, and Maria's heart would clench as she stood upon cargo boxes to peer illicitly into the lab's windows, trying to catch a glimpse of Shadow before anyone discovered her. On the rare occasion that she managed to see him, she never liked what she saw. Countless tubes, needles, pokes and prods. Shadow never smiled, only looked down in apathy and defeat as the scientists continued invading him. "I bet they tell him this is all for his own good, just like what they tell me…" she sighed, eyes filling with tears as she bared witness to the poor creature who reflected her own situation. At this time in her life, all Maria longed for in between her own treatments and tests was the chance to talk to Shadow. Finally, when she turned ten, the two were allowed to become acquainted.

"Maria, this is Shadow the Hedgehog. He is the Ultimate Lifeform, a being capable of honing Chaos Energy and of unthinkable power. At the same time, he is also a young boy not so much unlike yourself. In this dark and uncertain world, I hope that the two of you can become friends…" the elderly man lowered his gaze from his smiling, yet sickly, granddaughter to the red-and-black anomaly standing rigidly beside him. He sighed. Although he thought of Shadow as his greatest creation and felt a certain sense of pride in him, it was a complex feeling. When he thought of Maria, he felt a rush of familial adoration which channeled all of his resources and efforts into protecting. He cherished her. However, Shadow, although technically his offspring in a scientific sense, was an alien. He felt fondness for him, but it was mixed with fear and something else… Perhaps pity. The creature's deep ruby eyes were constantly drowning with a look of profound sadness and longing that Gerald knew he had absolutely no hope of filling. The hedgehog needed a friend, and that friend had to be Maria. He had, after all, programmed Shadow's soul to be pure and good based on Maria's own, and Shadow's very purpose in life was to cure her. In a perfect scenario, the two would become close and that would eliminate any possibility of Shadow building resentment towards Maria for being succumbed to testing for the sake of her cure. Two birds with one stone, if you will.

"Shadow, this is my granddaughter, Maria. She is ten years old and has been very much looking forward to meeting you for the past two years. I trust that you will be kind, gentle, and respectful to Maria in all aspects. She has a rare ailment known as NIDS and therefore cannot handle rough play and must be kept in a sanitary environment at all times. Thus, I ask that the two of you limit playtime to this sterile lab and only in the presence of supervising scientists using proper equipment. Understood?" He said the final part of his sentence as an order, and Shadow nodded automatically, without taking his eyes off Maria.

In fact, during this entire interaction, Shadow hadn't stopped staring at Maria. It wasn't an angry, defensive, or accusatorial stare- but it was intimidating all the same. Maria had never been stared at with such intensity in her life, especially not by a non-human entity with burning red eyes. Still, Shadow's eyes were beautiful and glowed like the precious and rare hard candies from Earth that she would sometimes manage to sneak from the supply shipments that would arrive. She decided it best to stare back while smiling as her grandfather spoke, thinking that was maybe how he communicated and that might put Shadow at ease around her. After all, she had never actually heard Shadow speak.

"Maybe he doesn't know how to…"

"Understood, Professor. It's nice to meet you, Maria." Shadow stepped forward, and nodded his head in a small gesture of respect. His quills gently bobbed up and down as he did so. The entire action caught Maria completely off-guard. He could speak after all?! And his voice was not what she expected at all for a creature only two years of age! It was calm and mature, much more mature sounding than her own! And his quills! How absolutely charming!

Shadow lifted his face again to meet Maria's eyes, his own lids slightly dropping at the sight of her, anticipating her next action. Was he bored? Annoyed? She would later learn that this was a sign that he was relaxing, something that only ever happened around her. Still naive, Maria fell speechless and was suddenly hit by a wave of insecurity, embarrassment, but also relief. A light flush fell on her cheeks as she realized that she had been pitying and projecting herself onto Shadow from afar this whole time, but it turns out he was doing much better than she expected!

"I-it's so very nice to meet you too, Shadow. I've been so excited for this day to come! I really hope the two of us can become good friends!" She smiled widely at him, beaming with sincerity. Shadow's eyes widened a bit at this, as it was the first time anyone had ever smiled at him this way in his life or seemed genuinely happy to see him outside of the context of a favorable test, sample or result. He didn't yet understand why at the time, but he felt something inside of himself shifting immediately and softening. So, when Maria extended her hand for him to take, Shadow did so without hesitation, much to Gerald's surprise.

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There was never any hesitation for him when it came to anything to do with her, ever. So, after a year of sterilized playdates, when Maria had insisted Shadow visit her room, he hadn't hesitated to agree. He was completely devoted to her. There was no doubt. Shadow didn't need to study human emotions, stories or meanings to understand. He would do anything she asked, be anything she wanted. He would follow where she went, or leave when she requested. He didn't care about anything else.

Maria, Maria, Maria.

He endured everything each day just for the chance to walk her down the hall to her tutoring sessions. To hold her warm, soft hand for a few minutes as they gazed down at Earth from the cool cage of the ARK. To secretly watch her rough sleep and listen to her rugged breaths in the bed of the medical wing after a bad spell with her NIDS. Although Maria likely didn't realize the intensity of his feelings, he adored her so deeply and purely that he wouldn't hesitate to stop time or end the world just to stay with her forever.

Professor Gerald Robotnik hadn't realized, it seems, that creating the Ultimate Lifeform would also create the ultimate capacity to love, complete with the ultimate, consuming madness that love itself inherently manifests.

If he had known, he would have without a doubt separated the two, doubting Maria's ability to understand or handle such complex and immeasurable agape. Maria was only eleven, and had never expressed a crush, let alone a love. She spent half her time in an exhausted daze due to her illness, with barely enough energy to leave the medical wing or her room, let alone socialize. Still, Maria had a rare and unique light and wisdom to her spirit, despite the brevity of her existence. This is one of many aspects Shadow admired about her. As an immortal, he existed in awe of how fearless Maria seemed in the face of imminent death. Fearless? No, that wasn't the right word. Light. Maria was always light.

His light.

"Shadow!" Maria called airily, snapping him out of his excited assessment of her room and gliding around. There was so much new to see and discover there, Maria's art, her photographs, her books… Although the room was small, it held an intense warmth unlike the other rooms on the ARK. And the scent. Maria's scent encompassed him, threatening his heart to burst. He closed his eyes and sighed, walking over to her obediently and languidly. "Yes, Maria?" answered Shadow quietly, staring at her as he always did. She smiled happily, laughing, "Come, sit next to me on my bed! I want to show you and tell you so many things now that we're finally together!" Shadow smiled vaguely, something Maria always enjoyed greatly as it was quite rare, and gently crawled up to sit beside her. Always remembering the Professor's warning to be respectful, Shadow kept his distance between them on the bed, but Maria quickly disregarded this precaution and scooted over to close the gap. Her heat sunk through his quills to his body, and made his entire frame warm. Maria was slightly leaned back, making Shadow's height at that moment taller than her own.

"Shadow… Do you remember the day we first met?" she whispered tentatively.

"Of course." he answered without any hesitation, leaning over to stare into her eyes. It was uncommon for them to be at this angle, and Shadow enjoyed feeling physically larger than her for once. Maria's eyes glistened with emotions that he couldn't decipher, but Shadow could tell they weren't sadness or pain, so he chose to stay silent and allowed her to continue.

"That day, when grandfather introduced us in the lab, I was worried you might not like me. You were staring at me so intensely and I felt silly, like you were being forced to babysit me or something. I wasn't expecting you to already be so mature and capable…" she trailed off in embarrassment at the memory. The unsaid portion of her words rung in her mind; "...I was expecting you to need me more, but I ended up just becoming a burden on you."

Maria continuously harbored guilt for the fact that Shadow endured weekly testing for the sake of a potential cure to her NIDS. Although her grandfather adamantly denied that this was the sole reason for Shadow's creation, she had her doubts. She wished that she could do more to repay him, and this internal shame burdened her much more than her ailment did.

Shadow's lids drooped a bit and he relaxed his torso and replied in a comforting whisper,

"I wasn't staring because I didn't like you. And that wasn't the first time we met, either."

"Huh? It was!"

"No."

"What do you mean, Shadow?" Maria insisted in her own whisper, eyebrows furrowed, but voice still full of affection. Was he messing with her? Or had she lost some sort of memories due to her illness or treatments?

"I remember everything, Maria. I remember you visiting me before the Professor ejected me from the Cryo-Pod. I remember you naming me. I remember you peeking at me through the lab windows during my tests, breaking the rules…" he smirked slightly, teasing her so that she wouldn't get too emotional. He knew Maria would be very touched by his words. She had a sensitive heart, especially when it came to anything sentimental.

"Oh, Shadow…" she began to tear up, taking his gloved hand gently into hers as she leaned fully back to lie down halfway on her bed, her legs still hanging over the edge. Shadow mirrored her actions gently, doing the same. "You remembered all of that? Really…?" Maria's voice cracked with impassion. Shadow sighed again as tears began to run down the sick girl's face. It wasn't good for her to get too worked up because it sometimes brought on an immune response, so Shadow was always watching his words, which Maria sometimes misinterpreted as mistrust.

"Maria… I didn't mean to upset you…" Shadow's eyes brimmed with guilt as he so carefully brushed a few tears from Maria's cheeks. Internally, he cursed himself. He should have known this would happen. Maria's heart wasn't old enough to understand the enormous weight of their bond. It was completely overwhelming at times, even for him, and Shadow was an immortal being with an untapped and unknown potential. He may have only been two years old, but there was no way of comparing his emotional capacity to that of eleven year old Maria's. They were too different, and Shadow was able to hold his love for her deep yet still retain control over himself, for the most part.

Maria, on the other hand…

"S-Shadow…" she rolled into him suddenly to hide her face, nuzzling into his chest fur, blubbering slightly, "I-I'm sorry! I'm not upset! I'm t-touched and happy that you remembered all that! Just give me a moment to regain m-myself, please…! There's so much I want to do with you today…" Shadow could only nod, in a heady daze from the sudden intimacy of her body close to his. On instinct, he began gently stroking her hair as Maria struggled to get ahold of herself.

"It's comfortable…" Shadow thought lazily, eyes lidding and limbs relaxing. His strokes slowed after a few minutes, and he soon fell into a peaceful slumber, exhaling deeply. Maria felt this development and stopped crying. She looked up to see the Ultimate Lifeform fast asleep with his arm draped around her shoulder. Maria felt a stabbing joy enter her chest, part happiness and part disappointment. She had been so excited to show Shadow around her room and get to know him better today… But ultimately, her main goal was to become closer to him and to gain his trust, and what better way to affirm that than to fall asleep beside her?

Maria put her arm around Shadow as well, and soon fell asleep just the same, the pair's legs dangling over the edge of Maria's tiny, baby blue space bed which floated like an insignificant speck in the universe. Only the light of the galaxy illuminated their blissful figures in that special moment, the first of many.

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Back in the present, Shadow stood as a dark statuesque figure in Maria's long-abandoned room. He walked delicately over to her bed, the one they shared on so many nights when Shadow's tests had been exceptionally harsh, or when Maria's condition pushed her thoughts into the most daunting corners of her mind. On the nights when the two were overcome by their inner demons, they held each other tight and allowed the steady rhythm of their heartbeats to abate their fears. In the silent expanse of space, the privilege of holding onto someone harboring the rhythm of life meant everything; a living anchor. If nothing else, even on borrowed time, the two were proof of one another's existence. Even at such young ages, they both knew and accepted this deep responsibility without having to speak it.

A single, sullied gloved finger ran tenderly over the edge of the bed frame, which still contained Maria's bedding, albeit covered in dust and laden with moisture and mold, rotted by time and neglect. Shadow felt his eyes fill with thick, heavy tears at the sight. Over fifty years may have passed since the ARK incident, and he may have had the opportunity to relive his memories and come to terms with them, but this was the first time he had been back here. This room held so much more than the others, so many whispered promises and unspoken firsts. Plus, Shadow had spent fifty years in stasis, spending every waking moment dreaming of her, existing somewhere between life and death. Being resuscitated by Dr. Eggman had been horrifying, because at least when he was in stasis he could dream. The reality he was awoken into was nothing short of hapless, and without Maria he saw no point in the universe existing at all. That's not how he felt anymore, and Shadow did have newfound hope for humanity, even having made peace with G.U.N. However, the hole inside of him left behind by Maria had proven that it could not be filled by anyone else. Not by Team Dark or his other friends, not by his missions with G.U.N., and not by his free exploration of the Earth they so longed to visit together… The current barrenness of Shadow's heart poignantly reflected the barrenness of the space surrounding the ARK.

He knew that he was on borrowed time and that the longer he spent reminiscing, the less time Rouge and he would have to swap the Emerald out and support Sonic's battle. He knew this melancholy was futile, but still…

"Maria…" he spoke, voice cracking and echoing sadly throughout the chamber. Shadow's eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to coax whatever tears were still managing to escape out. He knew he was being foolish, but deep down Shadow was almost expecting his voice to summon her once more. After all, time and space had been manipulated just a few hours prior to bring her back to him, even for a short time. Couldn't it happen again if he truly urged it to be so? He hadn't had enough time with her, he had been so focused on eliminating the Black Arms and preventing the situation from becoming worse...

Shadow shook his head furiously, quills swinging. He needed to stop wasting time on these futile thoughts. He needed to focus on the mission at hand.

"This is futile and selfish. I'd promised myself I could overcome my pain, that I would live for the future and protect the Earth Maria so loved. I promised her I'd do my best to move on and live a happy life among my new friends. She told me to go help them when we said goodbye… More than that… She made the ultimate sacrifice to ensure I'd have a second chance at life."

The truth was that, as usual, the Ultimate Lifeform was suppressing his true emotions and thoughts. The events in White Space had unfolded so quickly that he hadn't had time to process what had really happened, that Maria and the Professor's vestiges had been before him and that he had a chance to speak to them, to touch them once more. This was something that Shadow had spent nearly every waking moment of the past fifty years wishing for and was nothing short of a miracle. Even in his dreams, Shadow had imagined a thousand scenarios of how his reunion with them would play out; what he would say, what he would do. Usually, he'd imagine him and Maria alone, and Shadow would immediately run to her and hold her with all his might. Then, he'd stare up into her eyes, eyes the expanse and colour of the sky she never got a chance to enjoy, and tell her the three words he never did while she was living. The three unsaid words that haunted him every second of his immortal life, that he knew Maria had already felt, but that were still left unsaid and stuck painfully in his throat like a cancerous growth. Constantly festering, his lack of foresight, sincerity, and fearlessness plugged his vocal chords and stabbed him through the larynx and directly to his heart.

Shadow shook his head once more to remove such thoughts for the time being and skated to the destroyed exit of Maria's room, turning his head back once for a final look before continuing down the hallway in search of Rouge.

It wasn't too hard to find the jewel thief, as she was quite adept at navigation and the domestic wing of the ARK the White Space had faded into wasn't very large. Upon spotting Rouge, Shadow skated up to her naturally, keeping his usual cool and nonchalant demeanor, as if he hadn't just gone missing for the past fifteen minutes. Rouge smirked as she flew over to greet Shadow, however her eyes betrayed a deep sense of empathy and concern for her teammate.

"Hey there, handsome. You finished your pleasure tour of the ARK? Find anything interesting? And by interesting, I mean shiny… And expensive!" Rouge winked flirtatiously, her usual way of lightening the mood. The truth was, she had seen Maria and Gerald in the White Space and was extremely worried about the massive toll that being reunited with them in such rushed and bizarre circumstances must be having on Shadow. She knew better than most about how much Maria still haunted him, and seeing them together briefly had made her understand their relationship much more distinctly. Shadow clearly hadn't just admired Maria, he was deeply in love with her, that much was now apparent to Rouge as a woman herself. She studied Shadow's stoic facial expression, not revealing a hint of unusual emotion, just scoffing slightly at her teasing as he usually would.

"He doesn't know that I heard his declaration to Maria before his final battle with Black Doom… or that I saw him crying as we left the White Space… I'll let him pretend to be Mr. Don't Care for now, for Sonic's sake… But after this is all over, Shadow is going to need a lot of support."

Rouge sighed. She was incredibly curious what Shadow had been doing for the last fifteen minutes since he left her behind, but she also knew this wasn't the time nor the place to pry. "Come on then, we have to get this Chaos Emerald to Sonic as soon as possible! There can't be much time left before he battles the Time Eater. Think you could Chaos Control us off this tin can?" she asked while landing gently beside Shadow.

Shadow nodded soberly in response. He still hadn't spoken throughout their interaction, which wasn't unusual for him, however the motive for his silence was due to the fact that he didn't trust himself to keep his emotions in line. Rouge was one of his closest allies and she knew him well, maybe too well at times. He could easily identify the concern in her eyes, and if the topic of Maria was breached, he wasn't sure that he could keep it together. The last thing he needed was to cause the others to come to harm due to his lack of composure, especially when he had swapped the real Chaos Emerald with the fake for his own purposes. The blue hedgehog would never let him live such a failure down, especially one that came at the cost of those he cared about. No, he knew what he needed to do was to focus on the moment at hand. This was the right choice, the one Maria would have wanted him to make. Without saying a word, Shadow took Rouge's arm, lifting the Emerald high.

"Chaos Control!"

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Their mission was complete. The Time Eater was destroyed, and Sonic and his colorful cast of acquaintances had all conveniently ended up back at his rudely interrupted birthday party. Even Silver and Blaze had managed to make the event, despite being from another dimension and the future, respectively. Amy and Rouge had put a lot of effort into ensuring that the Blue Blur enjoyed his special day to the fullest, ignoring the chaotic interlude which had just reached its climax only an hour prior. The girls had invited everyone important to Sonic, even those who may not have fully understood why they were there.

Rouge's eyebrows furrowed as she snuck a glance at Shadow standing alone under the shade of a nearby tree with his arms crossed in his trademarked stance. From her vantage point, he not only seemed physically detached from the party, but almost like a ghostly figure contrasting with the bright and lively scene of Sonic's vivid existence. Shadow was always aloof and distant in group settings, but his behavior usually stemmed from a deeper inner shyness and anticipation of rejection or disdain from others. Rouge couldn't put her finger on it, but something was seriously off about him this time, and it was bothering her. Shadow was isolating himself, but not consciously. He wasn't choosing to act this way, or at least wasn't aware of it. As if in a trance, the red and black hedgehog simply stared off into nothingness, completely oblivious to his surroundings.

Knuckles, who had taken advantage of the rare opportunity to have an extended conversation with his favorite bat, immediately noticed Rouge's shift in mood from flirtation to sudden seriousness. Following her line of sight, the guardian sensed the unusual and vulnerable atmosphere surrounding Shadow. Rouge turned to Knuckles with unease in her eyes, and his chest tightened. He just couldn't stand to see her upset or worried, especially when she was usually so playful. Careful not to come across as too forward but still wanting to convey his intentions to support her, Knuckles gently placed a large paw on Rouge's shoulder.

"Rouge… Did something happen while you were separated from us? You look worried. Want to talk about it?"

The honest truth was, Knuckles was also just a tinyyyyyyy bit jealous that the jewel thief was expressing so much concern over another male. He wanted the lowdown on why that was. Rouge sighed and looked up into Knuckle's amethyst eyes with an expression he hadn't seen from her before; total somberness. The wind blew a gentle breeze through the park, rustling the picnic table's cloth. The sounds of their friends enjoying themselves, laughing and shrieking, seemed to fade into the background as Rouge began to speak.

"It's… Shadow. Something happened in the White Space. Something big. I don't know if we'll be able to understand or help, big guy, it's such a complex scenario and even I don't know all the details. But, I'm worried. I feel like he's on the edge of a decision that might cause something massive. Something even more destructive than what we managed to stop from happening today…" Rouge trailed off, turning her head once more to glance at Shadow with concern.

Knuckles felt his heart begin to pound at Rouge's vague words, a rare occurrence for the strong and proud echidna warrior. He wasn't sure exactly why, but in the pit of his stomach, he believed that Rouge was right. Turning his head to join her, he noticed that Shadow hadn't moved an inch from where he stood. Nearby, the spirited wind continuously stirred the air, ruffling Amy's skirt and lifting it slightly. Sonic blushed and turned away from the pink hedgehog, who shrieked girlishly and frantically pushed her hemline down. Silver lifted his paw to shield Blaze's eyes from any debris being blown as she smiled gently in thanks, and Charmy giggled with glee as he and Tails rode the wind together, drifting around carelessly. Only Shadow remained unmoved, even by the wind; his quills and gaze unwavering under the darkness of the colossal tree.

"Bat… It's not good to try and always handle these big problems solo. If you're scared or worried, tell me. I might not understand everything, but I'll listen at least. You're…" Knuckles stammered a bit, mustering his courage and doing his best to come across reliable, "You're not alone." Rouge turned back to Knuckles and smiled deeply and sincerely. He could be a knucklehead, but she knew the red echidna truly cared for her, and by extension her friends like Shadow, as well. She nodded and softly took Knuckle's muscular arm to lead him under a small nearby tree so that they could speak more privately.

"In the White Space, Shadow and I encountered some apparitions and enemies. I'm not exact on all the details, but as you know Shadow was created as a result of Dr. Gerald Robotnik, Eggman's brilliant scientist grandfather, making a deal with the alien overlord Black Doom. Remember how Shadow was planning to destroy the Earth by using the Eclipse Cannon in revenge for the death of his closest friend, Gerald's granddaughter? And how we talked him out of it on the ARK and he wound up sacrificing himself to save humankind in honor of Maria?" Knuckles nodded slowly, highly focused on Rouge's words. He did remember all of this, he was up there in space too, after all. He remembered the melancholy mood everyone was in after Shadow's ultimate sacrifice, even ol' Eggy himself.

Rouge continued; "Well, turns out Shadow didn't die after falling to Earth and was instead discovered injured by one of our Good Doctor's Badniks and brought to his lab, where he made a bunch of Shadow Androids using his genetic material. Shadow awoke with no memories and was then manipulated by Black Doom and Eggman until he nearly destroyed Earth again…" Knuckles and Rouge simultaneously rolled their eyes and then chuckled at the absurdity of the recap she was giving.

"He's pretty good at doing that, isn't he?" Knuckles grinned a bit, flashing his gleaming white fangs that Rouge secretly adored.

"Yes, he sure is. But focus, honey! I'm not done yet. Anyhow, once Shadow regained his memories a second time, he vowed to leave his tragic past behind and dedicate his existence as the Ultimate Lifeform to protecting the world in his own way, as gaining independence is likely why Maria sacrificed herself for him to begin with. Maria wanted Shadow to live freely and happily here on Earth… But…" her voice tapered off, "...It wasn't really a true vow of goodbye to his memories. At least, not for Shadow. Sometimes, on our missions as Team Dark, when he thought I was asleep, I'd hear him talk to her in the night. As if she were really there, Knucks. He'd sit in the grass, under the stars, and tell Maria all the important things he never tells any of us. His hopes, feelings, dreams… Then last night I'm out at a supply depot gathering intel for G.U.N., and Shadow suddenly shows up, adamant on finding a spacecraft to get back up to the ARK. He said he believed the Black Arms were back and up to no good, so I helped him. Next thing I know, we're in the White Space and there are Black Arms goons all over… And, that wasn't all…"

Knuckles was completely engrossed in Rouge's story at this point, his legs crossed and upper body nodding up and down furiously, urging Rouge to go on. She smirked at his child-like behavior and continued, "Dr. Gerald Robotnik was there, and Maria too. They hadn't aged at all, they looked exactly the same as they did in the recorded video footage from fifty years ago that we found."

"What?! But how can that be possible?! Even if they were still alive, Maria would have to be in her sixties by now. She'd be almost unrecognizable." The guardian of the Master Emerald was no stranger to mystical oddities and time travel, but this seemed… off. "What purpose did it serve Black Doom or the Time Eater to summon those two into the White Space? If anything, wouldn't their presence have just strengthened Shadow's resolve to defeat the Black Arms?" he asked, turning his inquisitive eyes to Shadow's figure once more.

Rouge shook her head, "I think it's the opposite. I think they thought Shadow would give in to keep them by his side in White Space, that he would sacrifice his entire world just to stay with Maria a little longer using Chaos Control… But he didn't, or at least he couldn't since I already had the Emerald. When we were getting away, he cried, Knucks. He doesn't know I heard or saw anything between him and Maria, but he made a vow to her there. I think he really and truly loved her, far beyond what we all understood. I can't imagine what he's feeling right now."

"That's just terrible, playing with his trauma and emotions like that… But, hey, in the end Shadow didn't use the Chaos Emerald for selfish purposes, and thanks to that we're all here safe and sound, right?" Knuckles spoke with optimism, trying to cheer Rouge up.

"I know he didn't, sugar, but if I'm being honest with you…" Rouge stared sadly at her teammate from afar, "I think Shadow's fighting a real hard battle inside himself now on whether or not he made the right decision leaving Maria behind, and if he decides that he didn't, I think we're all about to be in for one rocky ride."

Chapter Text

The lush beauty of the chartreuse fields and glossy leaves shimmering in the sunlight were completely wasted on Shadow. The dark hedgehog was absent, drowning in the murky confines of his own mind and oblivious to the festivities and joy surrounding him. The wind attempted to wrap itself around him, almost as if it were offering comfort, but that pleasantry was lost to Shadow as well. His quills barely even had the courtesy to sway with the friendly breeze, such was how detached he was from his environment. No, Shadow's mind was elsewhere entirely, somewhere where she still resided. Somewhere where he could still try again.

Maria's final words to him in White Space echoed in his mind perpetually:

"If Fate Draws Us Apart, I Will Always Be In Your Heart."

Instead of providing solace, these words ripped at Shadow's spirit, driving him into a frustrated and bitter mental fervour.

"Fate?! She said those words out of naivety, not understanding the cruel fate waiting in store for her. If fate decided that Maria deserved to die such a painful and unjust death, alone and cold on the metal floor of the ARK that imprisoned her, then I reject such a concept as fate!" Shadow growled deeply in his chest, turning further away from Sonic's birthday party on instinct. He felt like he may pounce on and attack the first person to disturb his thoughts. His eyes welded shut with such force that they burned as he pleaded for Maria to hear him, from somewhere deep in his heart.

"Maria, of course you are always alive inside of me… Not just in my heart, my soul, my mind; but my very essence! It's torturing me to live here without you… On this Earth you so loved and wished to explore… Within this natural beauty…" Shadow finally opened his eyes slightly and winced at the blaring sunshine barging through. Everything about the Earth that he should love, that Maria would have loved, felt invasive, alien, and… wrong.

"What good is any of this…" Reluctantly opening up to reality, Shadow turned to glimpse morosely at the party he was neglecting, "...If I can't share it with you?" His stomach turned in a vulnerable knot and he immediately regretted conducting such emotional musings in public, afraid that tears may fall if he continued any further.

At that moment, Sonic stepped into Shadow's line of vision and made direct eye contact. Sighing, Shadow relented to the fact that before he would be able to turn away, the hero would have already sped up to invade his personal space and chat his ear off. Of course, before the Ultimate Lifeform could even blink, the ball of blue energy was already beside him with a too-friendly hand casually resting on Shadow's shoulder.

"Howdy, Faker! Thanks for helping out with that time crunch mess earlier, and for coming to my party! I have to say, I didn't expect you to make it. Especially since there's no all-black dress code or coffee beans on the menu!" Sonic teased his comrade playfully with a sincere grin on his face. Bouncing from foot to foot, he eagerly awaited Shadow's return banter, but none arrived. With downcast eyes, Shadow only nodded apathetically as a distant response. The Blue Blur's face sank and his ears drooped. Despite the boys' differences and occasional conflict, Sonic was fond of Shadow and cared about him. He secretly enjoyed Shadow's usual grumpy demeanor, as it made him all the more easy to tease. After all, the somber hedgehog was usually the only one of Sonic's friends who could actually manage to keep up with him. But not today, it seemed. Shadow continued to avoid meeting Sonic's worried stare until the awkward silence between the boys became too much to take.

"...Happy birthday, Sonic." Shadow attempted lamely, meeting his rival's eyes momentarily before looking away again. Of all the people at the party, Sonic was the one who concerned him the most. The hyperactive hedgehog had a surprisingly introspective and observant side that annoyingly made him strangely perceptive when it came to the emotional condition of the people he cared about. That was the last thing that Shadow needed right now, especially when the plans formulating in his mind were objectively dubious and problematic. No, the last thing he wanted was Sonic inserting himself somewhere he didn't belong and didn't understand.

"What's wrong, Shads?" "Nothing." Shadow replied curtly, turning his face away.

"Come on, buddy. There is no way "nothing" is wrong. You're usually a loner, sure, but you've been standing frozen here for the past hour. Either you're having a competition with an actual tree to see who can act more like one, or something is wrong. What's on your mind?" Sonic cocked his head to the side, stepping in front of Shadow to meet his eyes once more. Although his body language was playful, it was clear Sonic was genuinely concerned. Shadow felt a twinge of guilt for bothering him on his special day and decided to ease the hero's mind. He considered Sonic as somewhat of a younger brother and didn't want to ruin his celebration with his brooding.

"It's nothing, Blue. Really. Don't mind me and go enjoy your party. Look, Amy's waiting for you with a gift." Shadow nodded in the direction of the enthusiastic pink hedgehog who was holding a large wrapped present with a shiny bow and waving in the boys' direction. The Fastest Thing Alive flushed pink and his blue quills shot up in embarrassment, a rare sight that made Shadow smirk.

"Sonic~ and Shadow! Come over here! It's time to open birthday gifts!" Amy called, jumping and waving cutely. Sonic beamed back and gave her a thumbs up, "Be right with you, Ames!" Before running off, Sonic speedily turned to Shadow and added "I don't know what you experienced in White Space, but if it was anything crazy like what I did, it couldn't have been easy. I'm here if you need to talk, okay?" Shadow nodded assuredly, "I'm just tired. Go. I'll continue resting here until the party's over." He turned away from Sonic and found a spot to sit, a bit further out of eyeshot than before. The weary hedgehog sighed, tired of pretending and telling white lies to his comrades. It made him feel heavy and guilty. But he couldn't tell his friends what he was truly thinking at this moment; what he was actually considering doing…

"Maria…"

Shadow closed his eyes and allowed himself to indulge in the sweet solace of his memories once more. "At least until the party ends…"

The scene was set: he was on the ARK and Maria had decided it was imperative that the researchers, the Professor, and Shadow experienced a true holiday celebration for once. "It doesn't matter that the ARK doesn't experience regular winter seasons like on Earth!" Maria had justified to her chuckling grandfather and a confused Shadow, "We still just must have Christmas! It's such an important tradition on Earth, one that brings everyone together; full of joy, happiness, and love!" Maria twirled around, holding open a holiday picture book filled with images of colorful lights and merry people on the pages.

"Love…" Shadow watched in awe, admiring the vividness of the book's illustrations and how they complimented the bright, excited blush on Maria's cheeks.

"Alright, alright Maria, settle down… You know you shouldn't let yourself get too worked up…" the genius Professor cleared his throat as a means to gather the children's attentions; "Now, I can't make any promises, but I'll review the ARK's extracurricular budget tonight and see if we can muster up some bonus funds to procure a few holiday items. I'm sure the staff will be delighted by your suggestion, my dear." Gerald beamed at his granddaughter, absolute adoration spilling from his being. The man loved Maria almost as much as he loved science, which was an infinite measurement. If he had loved the girl any less, Shadow may have loathed and distrusted him, but since he understood how important Maria was to the Professor, he respected and, for the most part, obeyed him.

Gerald had, after all, created the Project- and anyone who loved Maria sincerely, and whom she loved in return, couldn't be bad. They just couldn't. Not when Maria was so good.

Shadow stared at the blonde girl adoringly, ears twitching at the sound of her elated tone of voice. Maria made gleeful eye contact with the young hedgehog and dashed over, hugging him tightly. "Grandpa, look. Shadow already looks so happy about his first Christmas! We can have a tree, carols, mashed potatoes, tinsel, and everything! Aren't you excited, Shadow?!" Shadow had no idea what half the things Maria just listed off were, but he nodded in agreement anyway. "I'm excited, Maria." The two smiled warmly at each other. Noticing that his plan to get the pair to become friends had gone off without a hitch, Gerald Robotnik's chest puffed in pride. "Oh-ho, I'm such a genius!" He congratulated himself and left for his office to get back to work.

Still contentedly remaining in Maria's embrace, Shadow glanced up at her face and asked innocently, "Maria, why do you like this 'Christmas' event so much? Is it very fun?" Maria rested her chin upon her best friend's head, rubbing her nose against his soft quills. Silent for a few seconds, the fragile girl took her time responding thoughtfully; "Before I found out I was sick, when I was still living on Earth with my family, I was too small to really remember much of anything. The only memories that really stick out in my mind from that time are of the Christmas season. It's a time where everyone you care about spends time together, doing all sorts of fun things. I just want us to experience that together, too, before I'm gone…" her words petered off, a melancholy tone entering her voice.

Shadow didn't approve of such talk. It terrified him and made his quills stand on end. He turned sharply in Maria's arms, standing up and placing his gloved hands firmly on her shoulders so that he could speak directly to her at face level.

"Don't ever say words like that, Maria. The Professor and I are going to cure you, no matter what. I will not allow anything to happen to you. That's my vow to you, forever, because…" Shadow's throat became dry and he stopped mid-sentence. Maria's earlier word floated in the air around them, tickling Shadow's ears. Love, love, love. Because you love her. You live for her, you'll die before you ever let her go.

But he couldn't manage to get the correct sounds free.

Maria patiently and calmly smiled at Shadow's sudden outburst and gently placed a reassuring hand over his. Without responding, she closed her eyes and rested her forehead onto Shadow's in an unspoken 'thank you'.

Chapter Text

There was never much of a doubt that Gerald would be able to gather the necessary funds to make Maria’s holiday wishes come true, but from which sources the rather large sum he procured remained to be seen. The infamous Robotnik always managed to find a way to make his precious granddaughter’s desires come to fruition. “You see Shadow, my boy …” the Professor had divulged that evening as the two shared a casual stroll down one of the many impersonal, steely corridors of the ARK, “...There are times when one has to practice a careful and calculated judgement on what details to offer. In other words, there are instances where it’s better to ask for forgiveness than to ask permission. ” He nudged against the youthful hedgehog with a creaking hip, chortling playfully as Shadow gazed upwards, listening with keen attentiveness to his creator’s words of wisdom. Over the years, the aging scientist had grown quite fond of his alien comrade. Not quite enough to see him as his true kin of course, but enough to spurn on a paternal urge to mentor the young creature. Shadow seemed eager to learn, and the aging man had not yet passed up a chance to lecture a willing audience.

He could, at the very least, not deny how intelligent Shadow was. Quite exceptional , really, and far beyond Professor Robotnik’s wildest expectations or calculations. Not only did Shadow pass each of his tests with flying colours; be it combat simulations, Chaos honing, or intelligence measurements, but the hedgehog had also become an integral companion and source of support for Maria. Although none of the experimental cures generated from Shadow’s biological material had yet to manifest into a physical cure for NIDS, it was evident that his presence in her life had done wonders for Maria’s emotional and mental well-being. The two were inseparable , and on days where Maria’s condition was so poor that she was unable to see Shadow, her disposition would take a serious downturn. On Shadow’s part, he didn’t vocalize his upset when separated from the young blonde, but the observant Professor noticed his test scores would suffer, ears laying flat in displeasure as the Ultimate Lifeform spaced out until he got to see her again. A part of Gerald fretted over the possibility of an unhealthy codependency forming between the two, but then again, their strong bond served his purposes for the moment.

“Professor, does that lesson also apply to you? ” Shadow’s calm, yet still somewhat tentative voice, cut through Gerald’s thoughts. He stopped walking for a moment and eyed his creation, understanding what Shadow probably meant but not quite enjoying the implications. Shadow took his silence as his cue to elaborate: “What I mean to say is, as much as I do respect your judgement Professor, if there ever came a situation where I assessed that disobeying your orders was the correct course of action, would you trust me to do so? Even if it made you angry, would you bequeath your forgiveness to me if I acted without your permission? ” Shadow had also stopped walking and although his shivering palms were an indication of the anxiety gripping him at being so bold, he still managed to assertively maintain eye contact while submitting his inquiry. It was obvious this question held some deeper meaning for him. Professor Robotnik took his time to reply, evaluating which context or connotation Shadow could possibly be referring to. 

The two continued their stroll in silence for a minute, Gerald still deep in consideration, and Shadow patiently awaiting his response. As they ambled along, the hedgehog couldn’t help but admire Maria’s holiday handiwork. Clumsily taped tinsel in various festive shades lined the hallways of the domestic zone of the ARK, and every so often hand-cut paper snowflakes would adorn a window or two. Maria had attempted Christmas wreaths, however without real pinecones from Earth she eventually gave up. “It’s just not the same without that natural forest smell…” she had declared sadly, pouting and turning away from her Christmas crusades for the day. “ This entire holiday project is probably why Maria is so exhausted… ” Shadow worried.

Choosing to tread lightly, the scientist finally responded with feigned naivety: “Do you mean, disobeying me in some sort of emergency context? Or are you trying to usurp me or something, lad?” Shadow’s eyes widened at the unexpected statement, missing the sarcasm entirely, “ Of course not , Professor! I just wanted to know how far my autonomy extends in your mind. You created me, and I wouldn’t have life if it weren’t for you. Yet, I still have free will. I have feelings, ideas, and dreams which you did not bestow upon me. Sometimes I wonder if you would permit me some of them…” His voice trailed off as the pair approached the door to Maria’s room within the sickbay. She had undergone several treatments and tests that day, and Shadow knew that she was most likely still inside, either asleep or groggily awaiting his visit. But, not yet. He needed to finish this important conversation with the Professor first. His eyes gently traced the door longingly as they sauntered by, Gerald silently lost in contemplation at Shadow’s words. Was he referring to his connection to Black Doom? Was the boy concerned that he may lose control at some point and have to destroy himself to prevent disaster? A million doomsday scenarios whirred through the genius’ mind- none of which were the least bit accurate.

Shadow was thinking about mistletoe . 

He had read about it in one of Maria’s Christmas books. A strange, veiny-like plant with small white berries that, when hung with a red ribbon during the holidays, blessed those standing underneath it with the bravery to kiss one another. Technically, the hedgehog was only three and a half years old, but he was likely already going through puberty with the way his mind couldn’t seem to stay focused. No matter how he tried to distract himself, his mind inevitably wandered back to the mistletoe and how it might feel to meet Maria under it. How he would carefully take her hand into his and smile up towards her… His cheeks heated up furiously as he fretted in his mind, oblivious to the odd glances Gerald was giving him.

“ The Professor would never approve of me kissing Maria even if I asked properly. Kissing isn’t a respectful or diplomatic action, it’s intimate and close. Plus, there’s a possibility that my saliva could contaminate her. My fangs could hurt her, too. Maybe this is a terrible idea, after all. What if Maria doesn’t agree to it? What if she hates me for asking? I don’t want her to think ill of me… But Maria has every right to refuse . After all, I’m a completely different species. I’m not even sure exactly what I am . And Maria, she’s… She’s beautiful and human . I know she cares for me, but maybe it’s not the same as this deep longing inside of me… to luh…luh… ” Shadow squeezed his eyes shut and suddenly stopped walking mid-step, blurting out;

“ LOVE! ”

Gerald’s brows raised at the random outburst. For once in his life, the man was completely dumbfounded , staring at the strange, fluffy beast blushing bright scarlet with wild pupils and an indignantly flickering tail. Shadow’s own eyes were saucers, apparently completely bewildered himself, as he quickly moved his hands to cover his mouth in shock and embarrassment. “ F-forgive me , Professor! I-uh…” It was the first time he had ever seen Shadow genuinely flustered, and Gerald wasn’t sure what to think. “ Shadow, are you feeling alright? You are behaving rather oddly today. Would you like me to request the nurse to perform a check-up of your vitals in the infirmary?” Jumping at the opportunity to escape the awkward situation and the potential chance to pay a call to Maria, Shadow agreed in earnest. “Thank you, Professor, I think I may have overworked a bit during the testing session today. I’ll go ask one of the nurses for an IV drip.” With that, the Ultimate Lifeform turned tail and skated away as fast as his air shoes could possibly allow , leaving one very confused mad scientist behind.

Chapter Text

Shadow never liked being the one to accidentally wake Maria up, especially since he knew the sickly girl needed as much sleep as she could possibly get. He did, however, often sneak quietly into the sickbay when Maria was resting, adoring to watch her sleep within the glow of space.

Once he had reached the sickbay door, Shadow carefully stood on his tiptoes to peer through the frosted glass. Lo and behold, Maria was peacefully slumbering in her usual spot, the infirmary bed closest to a large bay window overlooking Earth. The sickbay was, unfortunately, Maria's most-frequented area of the ARK, so the Professor had requested that that particular bed be reserved for Maria so she would be able to behold the glowing planet she so doted on.

When Shadow silently slipped into the cool room, however, Maria's eyes were tightly shut in deep sleep. The serene blue light reflecting from the Earth's atmosphere lay placid on Maria's ivory skin which was damp from her mild fever. Her chest rose up and down unevenly, a sign that she was still struggling to fully recover. This type of light fever happened more frequently these days, and the occurrence filled Shadow with a profound sense of dread each time. Maria always managed to recover from the fevers and return to her usual sunny self without much delay, but whenever another attack came on, Shadow couldn't help but fear she wouldn't be able to the next time.

There was another problem, as well. For as sick as Maria was, and for as deeply Shadow empathized and would have done anything to heal her, he also couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked bathed in the mellow illumination of the stars. His chest felt heavy with shame, "I shouldn't be humoring such shallow thoughts at a time like this…" but he was no match for the gravitational magnetism which kept pulling him to Maria.

Kneeling down soundlessly, Shadow moved beside the bed and delicately stroked a bead of sweat from the ailing girl's cheek. She sighed, a warm breeze hitting his face and tickling his facial fur. His cheeks heated up despite his self-admonishments, and his stomach began moving in deep knots. Maria's eyelashes were full and thick, and Shadow admired her smooth face wistfully. No one had ever told him that his feelings for Maria were wrong, but instinctively he sensed they somehow would be to many.

"But… Do I really care what others think…?"

Tenderly taking a hold of Maria's small and fragile hand, Shadow's mind raced a mile a minute as he continued gazing at the glowing girl, seemingly made of particles of light herself.

"When I look at her, I feel such complex and strange emotions. Protectiveness, care, adoration, territorialism, gratitude, happiness, humour, curiosity, warmth, empathy, friendship, safety, concern…" he swallowed hard, a lump forming in his throat as he finally began opening up within the private confines of his mind, "But there are darker feelings I can identify, too… Possessiveness, jealousy, fear, worship, desire… and… love. I…I can't lose her to this illness. I won't allow it."

Shadow's eyes filled with something foreign and wet that he couldn't yet recognize, but he would later understand to be tears of frustration. He felt like a failure. The researchers had been conducting relentless tests on the pair for a year now and yet no conclusive treatments had been achieved for Maria's NIDS. His sole purpose was left unfulfilled to the one who meant more to him than anything else in the universe, and there was nothing he could do to change it.

Caught somewhere between being a savior and a regular teenage boy, Shadow was locked in an internal battle uniting his burning desire to save Maria and his burning desire to kiss her. He was completely aware of how petty and ridiculous it was to be thinking such selfish thoughts while the poor girl suffered, but he couldn't help it. The dampness of her fever had caused her soapy scent to fill the room, and the more Shadow mused on how limited a time they might have together, the more his urges felt all the more… urgent.

At the very least, he wanted to understand how Maria felt about him, and if she would even be open to the existence of his true feelings for her. Even if she didn't reciprocate, which Shadow expected would be the case, he felt as if it would be wrong to keep holding his intense feelings for her inside. It would feel like a lie, and he hated lying to Maria. It felt like the weight of a million Earths were upon him, and he so desperately needed to offer them up to her.

Suddenly, Maria sighed again and rolled onto her side towards him, blowing a light breath onto Shadow's face. He closed his eyes and groaned, smacking his head sharply on the bed's metal frame in an attempt to get ahold of his unrestrained thoughts.

"What the hell is wrong with me?! She's sick, I–" his self-deprecation was cut short by Maria's chapped and drowsy voice: "S-Shadow…? Why are you bonking your head on the bed frame?" Her hand weakly rose up and gingerly started stroking the distressed hedgehog's messy quills back into place.

Shadow raised his head with a disheveled appearance and wild eyes, feeling even worse than before at unwittingly waking her. Chuckling at his apologetic and pathetic expression regardless of understanding the context, she spoke again: "You silly... Would you mind passing me my glass of water, please? It's on the stand over there. Sorry, I think my fever just broke. I'm super thirsty." He nodded silently and dashed back with the cup in less than a second. Maria thanked him and began gulping the liquid back greedily, as if she had just returned from a long trek in the desert. Shadow couldn't help but stare at the movements of her throat as she swallowed, face heating up uncontrollably once more.

Maria had noticed this shift in demeanor. The girl was extremely perceptive, even when fighting her illness, and it was one of her many powerful attributes which the majority of adults on the ARK underestimated. Shadow's silence around her wasn't unusual, but his stare in that moment certainly was. It wasn't his usual tender stare. There was something else mixed in, something that made her feel slightly self-conscious. She didn't dislike the feeling, though. The potency in which the dark hedgehog was focusing on her made her stomach feel like it was floating away. When Shadow firmly removed the empty cup from her hands and soundlessly lifted his finger to her face to wipe a few stray drops of water from the corner of her lips, she didn't dislike that either. The two continued to sit wordlessly, Shadow caressing a few pieces of Maria's hair absentmindedly and languidly. As if in a daze, he leaned so close to her that she could feel the heat emanating off of him even though she was still a bit feverish herself. Once Maria's temperature and breathing seemed to have fully settled a few minutes later, Shadow closed his eyes and prepared to finally speak.

"Maria…" She nodded, confident he would sense her movement and understand it as a sign to continue. Shadow nervously glanced up at her, heart pounding madly under the tufts of white fur on his chest.

"Have… Have you ever been in love?"

Maria was flabbergasted! "Ehhh?! W-What's this all of a sudden?!"

The innocent girl's face lit up as bright red as the Christmas ribbons she'd started placing around the ARK in preparation for their holiday celebrations. She couldn't believe what he had just asked her. Never in a million years would she have expected Project Shadow to be interested in topics of romance, not when he was usually so stoic and collected. Sure, he was very caring towards Maria, but she always assumed he was simply tolerating and attempting to reciprocate the heaps of affection she threw at him. Shadow was very cautious not to overstep boundaries or initiate physical contact with her, at least most of the time. But, today seemed different. She could never have anticipated Shadow to have this sort of thing on his mind, and now that he asked, she wasn't even certain how she felt on the matter. Still, she met his probing gaze and did her best to muster a coherent response.

"It couldn't have been easy for him to ask me about this topic, after all…"

Maria pondered a few moments longer before answering; "To be honest, Shadow… I'm not sure if I ever have. I want to experience it though… Love. What does it feel like to love and be loved? I often wonder about that when I read romantic stories…" She sat up slowly and turned to gaze out the window, holding onto Shadow's warm palm, "The problem is… I… I don't think it would be fair to wish for someone to fall in love with me as I am now. Not when I could… die anytime."

Shadow winced at those painful words, but didn't want to interrupt, "I've spent so long up here that I barely remember what normal interactions even are anymore. There's a possibility that I could have experienced being in love already and not even understood what I was feeling…" Maria trailed off, turning slowly once more to Shadow with a slight look of confusion on her face, like she was deciphering a code through her own words.

"Maria, I-... I…" She had never heard his voice like this. He sounded genuinely unsure, scared… and was his voice shaking? Shadow was looking down at their hands, still interlocked; his sweating. Her brows furrowed with concern, but before her mind could fully react to the situation, her body began to.

Her face started heating up once more at his strange tone and at the sight of Shadow's messy fur and burning, troubled ruby eyes. He looked like a complete disaster, but she somehow found this scruffy version of him more adorable than usual. Sensing the sudden shift, Shadow stopped speaking and tentatively raised his hand to her forehead to check her temperature.

"Maria, your face is warming up again. Has your fever returned? Shall I go fetch the nurse?" Maria stayed silent, eyes locked on Project Shadow in deep analysis of the current situation. She nodded her head no and bashfully looked away while he helped her settle back down to lay in bed. When Shadow offered to stay beside her, again she silently nodded yes and continued to remain muted as he fretted over her. Wracked with guilt, he kept apologizing for disrupting her.

"M-Maria, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have woken you up and bothered you when you're sick… Please forget I ever asked. Rest. I'll stay here until your fever goes back down…"

Maria assured him that wasn't the case- his question hadn't bothered her… but her own involuntary reaction certainly had. Shadow comfortingly draped his palm over her forehead, whispering further expressions of regret and promises to be more careful in the future. Maria barely listened… Her brain felt like it was exploding even more violently than the pounding of her heart. For once, her fever wasn't being caused by her NIDS, she knew that much.

Chapter Text

Chapter 9: A Reason to Exist

Things weren’t quite the same between them after that day. Maria had recovered, as she usually did, after a week more bedrest in the infirmary and a carefully monitored regime of medications methodically allocated by Gerald. Shadow had, of course, visited Maria as often as possible; guilt and concern palpable in his scarlet eyes whenever he sat beside her sick bed. Each time this happened Maria tried to reassure him that her condition wasn’t his fault; that his question hadn’t bothered her, and that she truly meant her words. It wasn’t so much his sudden inquiry regarding love which had shaken her, it had been her own body’s reaction to Shadow asking it.

Project Shadow… He was her grandfather’s grandest achievement and the sole key to a potential future cure for her NIDS. No, not just that, Shadow was so much more than that to her… He was also a friend, a confidant; almost like family since she was so far from home; a universe away from her actual kin on Earth. Sometimes, when Maria was feeling homesick, she would imagine her and Shadow taking one of the emergency pods from the ARK down to Earth just to go and surprise her baby sister at the front door. Lost in her daydreams, the frail blonde girl would gaze out the thick, glass windows of the infirmary at the glowing planet below and smile as she imagined the awe on her little sister’s face at the sight of Shadow’s furry, quill-covered body. 

“She’d love him…” Maria would whisper softly, leaning her pale cheek onto her blanket-shrouded knees. It was these daydreams which spurred her forward; allowed her faith to recover someday. Daydreams or night dreams, it was hard to tell in space; but they were her dreams nonetheless, and they gave her hope for a tangible vision of an actual future. A future vision that always included Shadow by her side.

A few days after Maria was released from the infirmary, Gerald finally allowed her to continue her plans for the ARK’s holiday party, and Maria was determined to hold the celebration as soon as possible, before she wound up falling ill again. Despite feeling slightly uncertain of how she might behave around Shadow, she knew that she had to confront her own emotions head-on, and that required spending some quality time with the dark hedgehog. Maria couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous as she approached Shadow’s small quarters to request his help in handing out invitations to the party, which she planned to try to hold the following night in the common room.

The truth was, Shadow was certainly not the best one to ask for this job; he was hardly what you would consider the most social type, and much of the staff on the ARK still feared him despite the project reaching almost its third year. Still, Maria wanted an excuse to meet her dear friend away from the prying eyes of the nurses or her grandfather- a chance to see if her body would react as strangely as it had the week before when they were alone together in the infirmary. Spurred on by curiosity, Maria took a deep breath before knocking softly on the large steel doors outside Shadow’s room. Heart thumping, she couldn’t help but bite her lip and shift on her feet as she waited, her hand-written Christmas invitations gripped tightly behind her back. She vaguely noted how damp her palms were becoming, and how her stomach was flopping about like the wild koi fish she loved to admire in the books Gerald would sometimes bring back for her on his work trips to Earth.

This does not seem like a good sign… She noted to herself dryly, her own mouth becoming a bit sour as an unfamiliar level of nervousness began taking over her body. Maria almost never felt nervous anymore, the non-stop medical testing she was subject to prevented that sort of physiological response in her after a certain point, but right now? She definitely felt nervous as she knocked on the cold, unfeeling metal doors of Shadow’s quarters. 

After a few moments of silence, Maria sighed and started to turn back around, assuming Shadow must be participating in some of his regular testing sessions, when she heard steel slide across granite and a familiar, husky whisper behind her.

“Ma…ria…?” She turned to see Shadow, a very scruffy and dazed Shadow, clearly asleep until quite recently. The fur around his face and ears unusually fluffed up, his garnet eyes lay half-lidded as he rubbed them with his non-gloved hands, a very uncommon sight. Shadow’s middle fingers blazed ruby; the stripes leading down his arms flowing to a sharpened point at his claws, like a molten volcano peak, and Maria couldn’t stop her eyes from following the line. He looked uncharacteristically vulnerable, like she had caught him off guard with her visit, something that almost never happened as Shadow’s senses were so keen and attuned to her. He usually saw Maria coming from a mile away, but today was different. As the two silently assessed each other, Maria could see hesitation and something almost close to fear in Shadow’s sleepy gaze, like he hadn’t yet woken up enough to fully conceal his emotions with his usual mask of stoicism. Beneath that fear, buried deep in his irises, was that special warmth and tenderness that he only ever reserved for her.

Maria smiled. It was rare to see Shadow like this, and suddenly it was like all of her nervousness had melted away, the tension in her shoulders dissolving as she stepped closer to him, suddenly driven by a soft desire to be closer to his adorable, sleepy frame.

“Can I come in, Shadow? I want to ask you a favour, about the Christmas party…” Speaking quietly, Maria was careful to not disturb the dreamy atmosphere around Shadow, seeing as he had so clearly just roused. He usually didn’t sleep much, especially not during the day. The Ultimate Lifeform was designed not to require the same things as other living beings; to be more efficient, always alert. Maria felt a pang of guilt for disturbing his unusual nap, but she couldn’t fight the urge, growing even stronger now, to approach him. To be alone with him in their own cozy universe like they often used to when they were younger; to forget about the harsh realities on the outside.

As soon as Maria uttered the words, he nodded and took her hand, gently pulling her towards his room as his eyes slowly became more aware. Closing the steel door behind them with precision to avoid any unnecessary noise, Shadow stayed silent and observant as he watched Maria enter his inhospitable room, the only real decoration being a crude drawing she had made of them together back when she was nine, taped to the granite wall. Shadow’s quarters were very small, only about the size of a walk-in closet, with a basic shelf for his sparse belongings and one of the single-sized beds brought in from the infirmary. It had been haphazardly pushed in the room by a visiting soldier on Maria’s demand, so it wasn’t perfectly straight and rested at a bit of an off angle beside the tiny window. Although it did have a full set of bedding, Shadow rarely used it, his own body already constantly at an ideal temperature. The military-standard blanket provided by G.U.N. was only really ever utilized when Maria visited; Shadow always pulling it off and wrapping it around her shoulders so that she wouldn’t catch a chill. His room didn’t have a heater like the others on the ARK- after all, why expend even more precious funding on a being that doesn’t require warmth?

But doesn’t every creature require some sort of warmth, be it physical or emotional?

She placed the hand-written invitations on his shelf before sitting down on his bed. Maria noted how stiff and hard the mattress was compared even to her usual sickbed in the infirmary. Frowning slightly at the thought, Shadow, who had been watching her every move like a hawk, took this as a sign that she was uncomfortable and immediately moved to pull the blanket up from the bed and wrap it around her shoulders to keep her cozy. His body bent over and gripping the blanket together above her chest like a clip, a clear tension hung between them. This was the first time they had been alone together since Shadow’s question over a week ago. The silence eventually became uncomfortably thick until he finally spoke, his face close to hers and eyes still a bit sleepy, the whispered words gruff but affectionate:

“...What do you need my help with, Maria?” 

To tell the truth, Shadow still felt like he was dreaming: Maria, here in his room like this right after he had been woken up from a dream about her. In his dream, he had held her close against a field of blossoms; the two blissfully asleep and completely unaware of the world around them. Having her right here now, wrapped up in his blanket and staring up at him with her familiar expression of fondness and trust, was almost too serendipitous for him to believe. His mind still not fully awake or self-aware, Shadow gripped the blanket a bit tighter around Maria’s shoulders, fighting the growing urge to wrap his arms around her and cuddle her against the bed. To bury his face in her hair and inhale her scent. To just lose himself in her.

It took Maria a few seconds to process his question and respond- or to even remember why she was there in the first place- with Shadow so close she could feel his warm breath against her face. It was easy for her to forget how strong he really was when he was so gentle with her most of the time, but as he clutched the blanket around her shoulders, Maria became keenly conscious of the fact that there was no way she could get away from him, even if she tried. Shadow was so powerful that he had the ability to do anything to her, if he wanted, and there was no way she would be able to move from the blanket unless he let her go. But what if he didn’t? What if he kept her there, with him, forever?

The thought could have scared her, but it didn’t. Gazing into the increasing emotional complexity in his scarlet eyes, Maria absentmindedly noted how his strength didn’t scare her at all, in fact… She quite liked the idea of him never letting her go; a small shiver running through her at the realization. Before she could stop it, Maria replied to Shadow in a dazed whisper, her voice heady and distracted- completely forgetting her original purpose for being there as the pounding in her ears from her heartbeat drowned out any nerves or embarrassment.

“Could you… hold me for a bit? Like when we were younger?”

Shadow’s eyes widened in surprise, finally starting to wake up, and he bared his fangs for a split-second- almost as if something about what she just said had struck something feral within him. Quickly regaining his composure, his sturdy hand trembled against the blanket softly before loosening his grip and letting it go. Standing up straight again to look down at her with a kind, but moderately disbelieving expression, Shadow cleared his throat and asked hesitantly, his voice cracking;

“Are… Are you sure? You want me to hold you, Maria?” Although his tone was faintly incredulous, it also betrayed a clear note of longing. Like he was almost pleading for her to say yes, to confirm that this wasn’t really just a dream.

“I’m s-sure, Shadow...” The look in her eyes was just as pleading, albeit a bit confused, like she almost couldn’t process the intense emotions running through her at the same rate they were occurring.

That was all it took, and without another moment’s delay, she was in his arms; Shadow holding her to the white fluff on his chest like she was the most precious thing in the universe. Delicately bringing them down onto his stiff bed, he leaned his dark arm over to pull the blanket over the two of them as he stroked her hair tenderly. Even though the mattress was terrible, it felt like a cloud to her, like she was floating on air; her scalp tingling from the way his claws felt against it. Maria closed her eyes and inhaled his unique scent; something almost like the pine of the Christmas tree she had prepared for tomorrow’s party. A smell so natural and earthy, despite Shadow’s other-worldly origins.

A scent like home.

Shadow stayed silent as he continued petting her blonde locks, his eyes blissfully shutting as he let her presence overwhelm his senses. Almost in a hypnotized state, he buried his face into her hair, just allowing himself to enjoy her creamy scent after such a long time. He hadn’t held her like this in months, since he had suddenly become so self-conscious from his newfound desires for her; but right now, none of that seemed to matter. Maria was here, in his arms, and she had come to him of her own volition. He could feel her happily sigh and nuzzle her face into his chest fur, and Shadow realized in a foggy daze that this could possibly be the happiest moment of his short life. He had never felt so sleepy but yet so excited, so alive and warm in the entire time of his existence; and something in him changed in that moment. A possessiveness arose in Shadow that would never leave him again- the subtle, but all-consuming knowledge that Maria was just as much his as he was hers. They knew each other well enough to not have to speak, their physical actions spoke for themselves. They belonged to each other completely.

She was his. 

“Mine…”