Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"We're here" the red haired woman turned to the moody teenager in the passenger seat and frowned "don't be like that Ymir, I promise this family is great, I know them personally" Ymir kept her glance on her converses making the woman groan a little "I know how you feel but you have to trust me ok ? If it turns out bad you can still call me and I'll transfer you to another family. But please at least try to give them a chance" 

Ymir frowned and finally turned to the driver "I just don't understand Petra ! In a few months I'm eighteen, can't I just live on my own now ?" 

Petra put her hand on Ymir's shoulder "well once your eighteen you can live wherever you want but not now. Please Ymir they're really nice people, can you please behave ?" Ymir scoffed and got out of the car. Petra followed her outside "besides you'll get along well with the other children I'm sure !" 

"Because I won't be alone ?!" Ymir groaned and resisted the urge to throw a tantrum, as much as Petra was used to it, she didn't want her foster parents to look outside the window and see her wailing like a banshee, that would be embarrassing. 

"Oh but they're your age don't worry" Ymir wasn't worried just really upset "and they're the nicest teenagers I've ever met trust me." 

Ymir sighed and followed Petra toward the door. The house was nice, really big but not big enough for Ymir to assume that her foster parents were loaded. Upper middle class maybe ? Ymir could smell chlorine in the air -which most likely meant that her foster parents had a pool in the backyard- yeah upper middle seemed about right. She just hoped that it meant she would have her own room. When she used to live with her very first foster family she had to room with an  8 years old girl -she was 14 at the time- and it definitely was one of the worst thing that ever happened to her. 

Petra knocked on the door and a very tall blond man answered. He had a warm smile on his face but Ymir still felt super intimidated "oh Petra hi !" He turned to Ymir "and you must be Ymir it's so nice to finally meet you !" He offered his hand and Ymir was originally going to ignore him but the glare Petra sent her was enough to convince the brunette to shake his hand. The man laughed and stepped aside to let the two girls in the house "Levi is in the living room, I'll go tell Armin and Mikasa that you're here." The man disappeared up the stairs and Petra led Ymir to the living room. 

The living room was pretty nice, there were lots of framed pictures on the walls, Ymir made a mental note of checking them out when she would be alone, she never tried to hide the fact that she was extremely curious. Everything was tidy, even if she tried the brunette couldn't find any trace of dust in the room. As promised a black haired man was sitting on a large couch sipping a cup of tea. The TV in front of him was playing a random documentary, the sound was very low so Ymir assumed that it was just to have some background noises. The man turned to them and slightly smiled "Petra it's so nice to see you again" he paused and looked at Ymir "and I'm so happy to finally be able to meet you Ymir please sit down and have a cup of tea." 

Ymir smiled, though it was so tense that it looked like a grimace more than anything else. She sat on an armchair next to the couch and took the cup of tea Levi offered her. She wasn't a big fan of tea but she promised Petra that she would at least try so she drank a small amount before dropping the cup on the coffee table. Levi and Petra started chatting animatedly -well Petra did most of the talking and Levi was listening- while Ymir tried to focus her gaze on something, anything but Levi. This new environment was so intimidating, she thought she was used to it by now but it still felt like the first time. She fiddled with her fingers trying to calm her nerves. 

The blond man came back with two teenagers, the first one was an asian girl, she was dressed like a goth, though Ymir wondered if she was actually one or if she was just a poser, she looked cute other than that, she appeared to be the same height as her. The second one was a shorter blond with a nerdy appearance, dorky glasses, graphic t shirt, the whole package, Ymir tried to suppress a smirk. Levi stood up and went to them "Ymir, my name is Erwin, this is my husband Levi, and our two children, Mikasa and Armin" the nerd gave Ymir a friendly wave while the goth simply nodded "we're very happy to welcome you into our home" Erwin gave Ymir a very warm smile. The brunette turned her gaze to Petra who signaled her to stand up. Ymir did just that and just as she was going to open her mouth, Erwin suddenly hugged her tightly, lifting her off the ground, the brunette let out a surprised yelp. 

"Erwin stop it you're scaring her" Levi gently punched Erwin's shoulder.

Erwin sighed and finally released Ymir, the latter released a breath she didn't know she was holding "aw I'm sorry I just couldn't help it, I'm so happy to have a new addition to our family." Levi simply smiled and gave his husband a sideway hug, Ymir caught Mikasa cringing and Armin silently giggling. This wasn't so bad, these people seemed decent enough, she knew that if they were close to Petra then they must have been good people. 

Ymir kind of saw Petra as a mother in a weird way. The red haired woman had been following her since she was admitted in the foster care at 13. Petra was the one that came to her rescue when she was 15 and called crying saying that her foster father was hitting her. Petra was the one who took her defense when her last foster family had tried to accuse Ymir of being violent and taking drugs. Yeah Petra was definitely the person Ymir trusted the most in the whole world. Petra caught Ymir's gaze and smiled warmly, the brunette couldn't help it and returned Petra's smile just as warmly. 

After a few hours Petra finally left, Ymir gave her one last big hug and promised one last time that she would try her best to behave. 

"So Ymir let's get you settled ok ?" Levi went toward the stairs but paused for a moment "we hope you're ok with sharing a room with Mikasa, Erwin used the last room as a sort of office and Mikasa is okay with sharing her room." 

Ymir internally groaned, of course she would have to share a room "it's fine I don't mind" yes she minded, a lot. 

Levi took Ymir to Mikasa's room, the room was really big, one side was filled with Mikasa's stuffs, the other was mostly empty, there was only a bed, a desk and a nightstand. 

Ymir took her suitcase and dropped it on her new bed "This is great, thank you mister Levi."

"Please call me Levi" The short man patted her back before turning toward the door "if you need anything don't hesitate to ask me ok ? We have dinner at around 7 pm. It's a hot day outside if you have a bathing suit you can go for a swim" so Ymir was right they did have a swimming pool "or you can just stay inside. Oh and also I think you noticed that Mikasa's side of the room is very decorated" yeah Ymir did notice the giant Twilight poster but decided not to comment on Mikasa's weird tastes in movies "you can decorate your side of the room too if you want, you can put pictures posters and everything you want. Erwin can also take you shopping to buy stuff please don't hesitate to ask" Ymir simply nodded and Levi left. 

Ymir took a moment to observe Mikasa's side of the room. Besides the huge Twilight poster there were other ones, Ymir recognized the names of a few goth bands -she was relieved to see that Mikasa wasn't actually a poser- and next to the posters she noticed a bunch of pictures stuck to wall, she recognized Mikasa and Armin on the pictures but also other people. Some of the pictures appeared to be a few years old, they all looked very happy on them and it did bring a small smile to Ymir's lips. 

The brunette was so absorbed in the pictures that she didn't notice when Mikasa entered to room and sat on her bed "on this picture that's Eren with me and Armin" Ymir jumped a little making Mikasa snicker "he's a childhood friend of ours" Ymir simply nodded "on here that's Sasha and here it's Connie, they're really nice, once school starts again you'll get to meet them."

"You're ok with me meeting your friends ?" Ymir seemed surprised, usually her foster siblings would act like they didn't know her at school. 

Mikasa put her hand on Ymir's shoulder "of course. You're my sister now" 

"We barely know each other..." 

"That's right, but I trust Petra wouldn't send us a bad person, she speaks so highly of you" Ymir slightly blushed, this was silly but she felt her heart swell a little. Ymir decided to continue asking Mikasa about the people on the pictures "here that's Jean and Marco, Jean used to have a huge crush on me, it was super embarrassing but now we just laugh about it. Oh and that's Annie" she pointed at a picture where Mikasa didn't look older than 14, she was in a kimono with another girl, shorter, blonde, "she goes to school with us but she never hangs out with me there, she's like a lone wolf ever since..- err nervermind. But we still see each other at boxing and Karate practices" 

Ymir didn't ask what it was that Mikasa was hiding, they had just met, that would be rude "how many sports do you practice again..?" 

Mikasa smirked and playfully punched Ymir's arm "only three, boxing, Karate and basketball. It's not too much I still have time for myself you know." Ymir's eyes widened a little, she had a new found respect for Mikasa now. The asian girl stared at Ymir for a while, probably lost in her thought, until she finally opened her mouth again "hey I know you're supposed to get settled and stuff but you could do that later, we should go take a swim and I'll tell you all about my school life there ok ?" Ymir didn't have a swim suit but she still followed Mikasa outside and sat at the edge of the pool while Mikasa was swimming and telling her stuffs that happened at her school this year. Ymir realized that Mikasa seemed really shy at first glance but once she opens her mouth she never stops talking, the goth girl had a small smile plastered on her face each time she mentioned the name of one of her friends "oh and I guess you saw it for yourself but I'm a goth" Ymir nodded and closed her eyes, feeling the rays of the sun on her already tan skin "I've always been a huge fan of goth music and the whole political message behind it, but only at the beginning of freshman year I started feeling comfortable enough to wear goth clothes" Mikasa stopped swimming and sat next to Ymir "the first day I came to school wearing gothic stuffs that blonde bitch asked in front of everyone if I was emo, and if it was because Erwin and Levi were getting a divorce" Mikasa's rolled her eyes, as if Erwin and Levi getting a divorce was the stupidest thing she had ever heard.

Ymir raised an eyebrow "Wait who's the 'blonde bitch' ? is it Annie ?" she was confused.

"No. Historia Reiss" Armin came out of the house and sat at the table next to the pool. Ymir gave him all of her attention "we knew her since our childhood too. Well back in middle school she was called Krista Lenz. She was the nicest girl ever. The summer before 9th grade, people were gossiping about Rod Reiss's ability to raise children after the oldest had a mental breakdown during an event. A few weeks later, his wife divorced him and got full custody of his children. Rod then remembered he had an illegitimate kid somewhere in the country, and he decided to publicly recognized Krista as his daughter. She came back to school as Historia Reiss and ever since then she became the biggest bitch ever" Armin had a bitter expression on his face.

Ymir's mouth was wide open "well damn your school is full of drama" she resisted the urge to chuckle because technically that wasn't very funny. But she wasn't going to say no to free entertainment.

Mikasa smirked "yeah and Historia is in the middle of a lot of those dramas" Her gaze hardened and turned to Ymir "try to stay away from her, she's really mean and now that you're my sister I don't want her to hurt you." Ymir smiled and put her hand on Mikasa's shoulder, she wanted to give her a hug but she thought it might be too soon and besides she was still wet from the pool. Armin smiled and nodded as if to agree with Mikasa.

The sound of someone clearing their throat startled the three kids, Levi stood at the doorway "it's 6pm Mikasa it's getting late you should get out of the pool and Armin can you come help me cook for dinner ?" Armin nodded and quickly followed Levi inside. 

Mikasa took her towel and started drying herself. Ymir stood up and looked where Levi was standing just a few seconds ago "are you and Levi related ?" 

"Yes he's my uncle" Mikasa noticed that Ymir wanted to ask more and smiled sadly "he adopted me when I was five after my parents were killed."

"I'm so sorry I didn't mean to..-"

Mikasa shook her head "it's fine really don't worry." She took a moment before she added "when we were 10, Armin's grand father died. I begged Levi and Erwin to adopt him" she smiled fondly "they did everything they could and a year later Armin was officially my brother." 

Ymir smiled slightly "they are good people" Mikasa simply nodded.

Dinner went by rather smoothly. Ymir mostly listened to the others talking, they really seemed like a close family, the brunette almost felt like she was intruding. But when she had looked down at her plate and had realized that Erwin and Levi had asked Petra for her favorite dish, it made her slightly feel like she was apart of their family. 

Ymir went to sleep that night feeling lighter than usual. She had been worried for nothing this morning. She just hoped that her senior year will be just as great as her new foster family.

✰ ✰ ✰

"Ymiiir wake up" Mikasa was lightly shaking her in order to wake her up "if you don't wake up now you'll be late." 

Ymir sat up in bed and groaned "alright alright I'm up." 

Mikasa ruffled Ymir's hair "Levi made breakfast come down whenever you're ready" the goth girl left the room. 

Ymir glanced at her wall and smirked. A few days after her first night here Erwin took her shopping for the first day of senior year. Ymir had seen a big poster for the movie 'But I'm a Cheerleader', Erwin had gladly bought it for her. It was probably as dorky as Mikasa's Twilight poster but she didn't care. Ymir gave a quick kiss to Natasha Lyonne before finally leaving the warmth of her bed.

She got ready for school and finally went down the stairs, the smell of French toasts made her stomach grumble. Levi and Armin greeted her when she entered the kitchen, Erwin was already at work. Ymir ate her breakfast and finally went to school with Armin and Mikasa. 

Ymir would never admit it but she was super nervous, for some reasons things in her life were never good for too long. The fact that the last couple of days in her new foster family were amazing made her extremely paranoid, she barely got any sleep last night because she felt too much anxiety at the thought of something going wrong the next day at school. 

They all met up with Eren in front of his house, it was a nice house though not as big as Erwin and Levi's. A brown haired boy was frantically waving at them and Ymir tried to resist the urge to laugh out loud "hi Ymir this is so nice to finally meet you !! Mikasa and Armin wouldn't stop talking about you by text" the two blushed a little. 

"Hi I'm glad to finally meet you as well. You wouldn't believe it but Armin and Mikasa wouldn't stop talking about you either" Ymir said sarcastically, Mikasa playfully punched her arm. 

The four of them went to school together. Ymir almost forgot about her anxiety, hanging out with those three was refreshing. 

"Did Zeke get the job ?" Armin asked.

"Ugh no, not enough experience for the job apparently."

Ymir raised an eyebrow "who's that ?"

Mikasa smirked "Eren's half brother. You won't be seeing him though he's forbidden from entering the Ackerman-Smith household."

"What happened ??"

Eren blushed a little "let's just say that he used to have a crush on Levi and when he was 16 he 'accidentally' threw a bowling ball on Erwin's right arm..." 

"WHAT ?!"

Mikasa chuckled at her reaction "Grisha tried to play it off as a silly teenage crush but Levi was horrified. So Zeke is forbidden from ever entering the house again."

Yeah, she would react the same way, that Zeke guy seemed dangerous. 

Ymir retrieved her timetable and saw that her first class was with none of her new friends.

"You take French classes ?" Eren raised an eyebrow. 

Ymir looked back to her timetable and smiled "oh yeah when I had to choose my second language I thought it would be cooler than Spanish. Turns out it's only harder." 

"Don't complain too much Armin and Eren have German classes." Mikasa giggled when Ymir's eyes widened. 

"Hey German is cool" Eren tried to defend himself but even Armin couldn't agree on that one.

Ymir went to her first class ready to speak French. Once she found a seat her anxiety came back quickly. Maybe it was because she was alone or maybe it was because everyone was staring at her with a horrified look. Sure Ymir wasn't that attractive but she didn't think she was ugly enough to deserve this kind of look. She felt a few drops of sweat on her forehead and tried to not think about her classmates staring at her. 

The brunette thought she had finally calmed down when a girl suddenly stood in front of her desk, making her anxiety come back at full speed, she tried to not let it show though. The girl had short dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes which were filled with disgust at the moment "hey new girl this isn't your seat. Get out."

Ymir's anxiety left her for a few seconds replaced by pure confusion, who did this girl thought she was ? Regina George ? "what is this ? Mean girls ? The seats aren't assigned you can just take another one" some of her classmates started whispering making Ymir sweat a bit more. As much as she thought this situation was ridiculous she didn't want to get into trouble, on the first day of all days. The girl in front of her was fuming. 

"I don't know who you think you are but you better not mess with me or Historia, this is her seat, get out." Oh so she was more of a Gretchen Wieners, great. 

Ymir really didn't feel like being Janis Ian right now though "if your precious little Historia has a problem with me sitting in 'her' seat then she can just tell me herself" the brunette heard a few of her classmates gasp and wondered if she had made a mistake.

Someone entered the class and all eyes turned toward a small blonde. Just by the clothes she was wearing, Ymir could tell this was Historia. Her socks probably costs much more than Ymir can even imagine. The blonde frowned when she noticed Ymir sitting at her desk. She looked at the time on her very expensive watch and turned to the dirty blonde "it's fine Hitch, I can't see properly from the back of the class but if the new girl wants to sit here then I can't force her to move seats, that wouldn't be very nice..." she said that while looking as vulnerable as a bunny and for a moment Ymir felt slightly guilty. Hitch was flabbergasted at what Historia had just said. 

"Oh Historia I don't want your grades dropping because you have to seat at the back of the class.." the teacher who had seemingly heard what Historia said came near them "Ymir could you please change your seat ? As far as I'm aware it wasn't mentioned anywhere in your files that you have eye problems am I right ?"  Ymir felt herself sweat even more and simply decided to switch places with Historia. The short blonde gave Ymir a soft smile and thanked her. Ymir couldn't help but blush a little, when Mikasa had first mentioned her, Ymir had imagined her as some sort of devil, but turns out she was more like an angel. 

If only Ymir had known, how terribly wrong she was for thinking that. 

The day went by rather quickly. Ymir got out of her last class of the day which was math. She felt super exhausted and was more than ready to leave school, she still promised Mikasa that she would meet her up at the park so that she could introduce Ymir to her other friends. Ymir didn't feel like doing more socializing today but she really wanted to meet Mikasa's other friends. 

Ymir went to her new locker. She left some books in there this morning and wanted to retrieve them before leaving school. Once she opened her locker, a paper fell out of it, Ymir took it and once she read what it was saying, her face drained of any colors. 

Dear Ymir 

I'm going to make your life a living hell. You messed with the wrong person. 

XOXO - H

Historia had even left a little kiss mark next to her name. 

Ymir felt like throwing up. Oh why did she have to choose this seat this morning, why didn't she just go in the back from the beginning. 

Why didn't she listen to Mikasa's warning.

Chapter Text

Mikasa just stared at the paper without saying anything. It's been 5 whole minutes and Ymir was waiting for her to say something along the lines of 'I told you so' but instead she only got an apology which made her feel even worse.

"I'm so sorry Ymir I wasn't there for you.. I mean of course I wasn't going to be there but I should've warned you more.." Mikasa was holding the paper way too tight making it wrinkle a bit. 

Ymir put her arm on Mikasa's shoulder, trying to calm her a little "hey it's fine, I shouldn't have provoked her if anything this is my fault only" the goth girl bit her lip and frowned. Ymir would be lying if she said that Mikasa's reaction wasn't making her anxious but she didn't want to show it "and also it's only a tiny blonde, how much damage can she even cause ? She can't do anything worse than what I've already gone through." 

Mikasa took Ymir's face between her hands to make her look into her eyes "you don't get it Ymir. Last year a girl ended up on Historia's list of enemies too, and she had to switch schools because of how bad it had gotten" Ymir gulped and felt herself sweat like crazy "trust me, Historia Reiss is the devil in disguise." 

The brunette felt like crying but she wanted Mikasa to think she was tough. Mikasa asked her before they both left for dinner to not say a word about it to Armin, the blond would freak out and tell Erwin everything, and the last thing Mikasa wanted was for Erwin to have problems with Rod Reiss or something like that. Ymir was tired, she thought she would finally go through a school year without any problems but Historia Reiss had to intervene. That night, Ymir went to sleep hoping that Historia would just forget that she even exists. 

Unfortunately for her, Historia Reiss never forgets anything.

✰ ✰ ✰

The day started with Ymir finding slime in her locker. She sighed which caught the attention of Eren and made him look inside the brunette's locker, after seeing the mess caused by the slime he dramatically gasped "DID YOU GET INTO TROUBLE WITH HISTORIA REISS ?!" 

Ymir winced at Eren's loud tone "don't yell ! Yes I did get into trouble with her. But if her attacks consists of just leaving slime in my locker then I guess it's not that bad. Also don't tell Armin please." 

Eren took Ymir's face between his hands the same way Mikasa did the day before "Ymir. You don't understand. She always starts off with slime, and at the end of the day she'll try to run over you with her car." 

"WHAT ?!" 

Eren rolled his eyes as if he hadn't been yelling as well a few minutes ago "ok maybe I'm exaggerating a bit but did you hear about that poor girl last ye-"

"Yes Eren. Mikasa told me about her" Ymir was more than annoyed right now, she wasn't sure if Eren was the one annoying her or if it was because when she tried to pick up her French book it was drenched in slime. "Fuck I knew I should've taken every book home with me yesterday." 

Eren sighed dramatically -seriously everything he does is dramatic- and hugged an already overstimulated Ymir as if she was going to die "I'm so sorry Ymir I wish I could've protected you better."

"Fuck- Eren stop it. I can protect myself perfectly fine, I don't need you or Mikasa looking over me, seriously do you guys smother Armin like that too ?!" Eren resisted the urge to say yes. 

Ymir's gaze landed on long flowing blonde hair walking in the corridor. Historia suddenly turned around, caught Ymir's gaze and smirked, this was enough for Ymir to be boiling with rage "Ymir what- ugh just ignore her Ymir" but Ymir decided to ignore Eren and started walking toward the blonde "oh my god no Ymir don't do anything reckless !" 

Historia's smirk only widened upon noticing Ymir getting closer, the blonde's mouth opened as if she was going to say something but Ymir dragged her into the toilets before she could. She let out a pained moan when Ymir pushed her against the wall and towered over the small blonde "I don't know what's your problem but I'm not going to sit there and let you bully me. All I want is to graduate and to have a peaceful senior year, I won't let some bitch ruin it. So if you don't leave me alone I'm going to take personal care of you" it's not true no matter what her last foster parents had to say about her, Ymir didn't know how to fight, but Historia didn't know that "have I made myself clear ?" 

The blonde didn't answer, she was too stunned to speak. From Ymir's point of view Historia seemed like she was scared and was about to piss herself, but from Historia's point of view, Ymir was suddenly very attractive, it was freaking her out hence why Ymir thought that she had succeeded into scaring the blonde. Ymir left the bathroom feeling proud of herself, Historia regained her composure after 10 whole minutes, she looked up, did the sign of the cross and finally left the toilet in a hurry. She felt the sudden urge to go confess her sins after school. 

✰ ✰ ✰

This day went by peacefully, which made Ymir feel much better but made Eren and Mikasa feel on edge. After school Eren decided to bring it up while they were all hanging out with Armin, Sasha, Connie, Jean and Marco "Ymir I don't get it what happened in the toilet with Historia ?!" 

Sasha choked on her food and the others just stared at Ymir as if she was dying or something like that, it made Ymir sigh in annoyance "something happened and you didn't tell me ?!" Mikasa was louder than usual, it made the brunette feel slightly bad "what happened in there did she hurt you ?"

 "No ! Nothing happened, I just threatened her and I left" now everyone just gasped loudly which made Ymir groan internally. 

Sasha put away her food -doesn't happen often- and leaned closer to Ymir "I'm so sorry you're dying so young" Ymir face palmed herself. 

"Wait what's going on ?! Why are you two aware of what's happening but not me ?!" Armin was clearly upset that he had been left out.

Ymir turned to Armin "Mikasa didn't want you to tell Erwin about the situation" the blond frowned and looked extremely offended, he ignored Eren when he tried to hug the nerd in order to apologize. 

Jean exchanged looks of concern with a sweating Marco "wait what situation ? What's going on ?"

"Yeah give us some context !" Connie shouted. 

So Ymir ended up telling them about the whole thing. From when she had accidentally stolen Historia's seat to now. Jean stood up "look this isn't against you Ymir but we can't hang out with you, Historia's father is extremely powerful I don't want something to happen to my family..." he looked away, Ymir was going to ask who's 'we' but Jean took Marco's hand and left with the freckled boy who tried to lecture Jean on how it wasn't nice to say stuff like that, she got her answer. 

"So uh... Connie and I have something to do too uhh..." when Sasha couldn't find a plausible excuse she simply ran away with Connie following her. 

Ymir turned to the other three and was about to say something when she noticed Armin's face. The small blond was sweating like crazy and he looked like he could be ready to burst into tears any seconds. Ymir sighed and left. Eren wanted to follow her but Mikasa held him back. Right now the brunette simply needed to be alone. 

She went to a toilet on the last floor of the building. She had heard that it was mostly abandoned and students only came here to smoke pot. 

The brunette sat on the floor and sighed, someone cleared their throat making Ymir look toward the source of the sound. A short blonde with her hair in a bun at the back of her head, arched nose, and a punk look, sitting with her legs crossed on a toilet. She recognized the blonde from Mikasa's pictures "you're Annie ?" 

"Yeah how do you know ?" Annie raised an eyebrow, cigarette hanging from her mouth. 

Ymir closed her eyes, taking in the scent of the cigarette before opening them again "I'm Mikasa's foster sister" Annie simply nodded, she didn't look like she cared. 

They both stayed silent after that, Annie offered her a cigarette but Ymir declined. Ymir took the time to reflect on her day, obviously if Mikasa, Eren and Armin's friends didn't want to hang out with them because of her then she was just going to stay away from them, at least until they all realize that Historia won't do anything. There was also the fact that Historia hadn't tried anything else today and it was worrying her, what if she got her dad involved ? She didn't want her new foster family to get into trouble, Petra could also get into trouble because of her. Ymir frowned, this whole situation was way too stressful, maybe she will call Petra and tell her that this new family is not working, but Erwin and Levi tried so hard to make her comfortable and feel safe. The brunette resisted the urge to yell in frustration.

After 5 more minutes of silence Annie spoke again "you're the girl who pinned Historia to a bathroom wall this morning." 

Ymir turned to Annie completely taken aback "how do you know that ?!" 

"I was in a bathroom stall  trying to take a shit" Ymir let out a little 'oh' and turned her gaze away, this was embarrassing "you're going to awaken something in her if you keep pinning her to walls" Annie let out a small chuckle, probably the only time Ymir will ever hear her laugh. 

Ymir frowned "what do you mean ?" was Annie implying that Historia might do something terrible to her ?

Annie gave her a blank expression "I don't usually tell other people's business because that's not fair. But I guess I can tell you since now she's a bitch" the blonde had all of Ymir's attention now "I think it was in 8th grade, during spring. I was waiting for my dad to come pick me up but he was late, Kri- Historia was waiting with me, usually she would walk home right after school but she didn't want to leave me alone" Annie sighed, she looked a bit sad at the memory, Ymir could hardly believe that Historia was ever nice at some point in her life "I told her that I was used to being alone but she's really stubborn. We were talking and I told her about, a crush I had on one of my childhood friends, a girl. Then I don't know why exactly she told me this, of all people, but she basically came out" Ymir's eyes widened "I was a bit stunned because I had always assumed she liked boys. But no she told me she had a crush on Mikasa -don't tell Mikasa that- and that's it. My father arrived then and we never talked about her sexuality again. In fact this is the last time I recall we had a real conversation. So you can imagine my surprise when in high school she started dating as many guys as she could." 

Ymir was stuck with her jaw wide open. Historia Reiss was a closeted lesbian "I- I wasn't- what ?!"

"Yeah, now you understand my joke" Ymir didn't think the joke was funny, what if Historia's internalized homophobia was so bad that she does even worse things to her now. She needed to go lay in her bed quickly. 

Ymir stood up but turned toward Annie one last time  "does your crush go to this school ?" yes even in situations like that Ymir wouldn't hide the fact that she was extremely curious. 

Annie raised an eyebrow "what are you ? Twelve ?" the blonde shook her head "she doesn't go to this school and for your information I don't have a crush on her anymore. I like someone else" 

"Is you new crush Mi-" 

"Hush now" Annie stood up as well and left before Ymir could. The brunette smirked a little. 

On her way out she found Hitch with a shorter girl whose black hair was in pigtails. Ymir thought for a second that Hitch would say something but she only frowned and glared at the brunette as if she had killed her mother or something like that. Ymir shook her head and continued to walk home. 

When she entered the house, Levi was cleaning the living room "hey Ymir, how was your day ?" 

"It was fine. Are Mikasa and Armin home yet ?" Ymir wanted to apologize to Armin.

Levi shook his head "Armin texted me saying that they were at Eren's house. You know you can go join them if you want I can give you his address" 

Ymir didn't want to intrude "it's fine maybe another time. When is Erwin coming back home ?" 

"At around six. Do you want to help me cook dinner for tonight ?" Ymir smiled and nodded. She left her bag upstairs and came back down to help Levi finish cleaning and then they started dinner. 

Mikasa and Armin came back at around 5:30. They helped with setting up the table. And just as promised Erwin arrived at around 6:00. They all had dinner at 7:30. It was very animated as always and it made Ymir forget about her problems for a while. 

After dinner the three teenagers went in Mikasa and Ymir's room. The brunette took the opportunity to apologize to Armin, the blond forgave her "you're right I couldn't have kept the secret for very long" he had said with an embarrassed smile. 

Ymir chuckled a little "oh and I met Annie today."

Mikasa's eyes widened a little "really ? How was she ?" 

"She looked fine. We talked for a bit" Ymir smiled still wondering if she was right when she thought that Annie was into Mikasa. 

Mikasa had a small smile plastered on her face "I can't wait until boxing and karate practice starts again so we can hang out more" well at least Ymir was sure that Mikasa really liked Annie. Armin seemed to share the same opinion as Ymir since he was smirking at Mikasa. 

They all went back down to watch some TV for a bit with Erwin and Levi.

Ymir went to sleep that night with her fear of Historia long forgotten. 

The rest of the week went by pretty fast. Historia left Ymir alone which was a huge relief for the brunette. Jean, Marco, Connie and Sasha started hanging out with them again after noticing that Historia wasn't targeting Ymir anymore. Sasha had even invited them to come to her house this weekend. 

Ymir had also hung out with Annie again and she figured out what Mikasa didn't want to tell her about Annie the first time. Annie was a trans woman, she found out when in math class the teacher called her by her dead name. Annie had refused to answer. She told Ymir that she was mad because she had started her transition at 12 and ever since then every single one of her papers had her current name. In her opinion the teacher only called her by her dead name because he was transphobic and hated her. 

Ymir went to her locker after school to retrieve her books and found another folded paper, her heart's pace picked up, please don't be from Historia please.

She unfolded the paper and what she found turned her face bright red.

Someone had drawn a very realistic sketch of Ymir.

It wasn't signed though so Ymir wasn't sure who could've put the drawing in her locker. Her thoughts landed on Historia but she quickly put her thought away, her life wasn't a cheesy romcom of course Historia didn't develop a weird crush on her, that wouldn't make any sense.

Ymir suddenly felt really dizzy.

She folded the paper again and put it in her bag. 

Back at home the three teenagers were hanging out in the garden, laughing at a story Armin was telling them which included Eren falling in front of everyone in the cafeteria back in middle school. 

Suddenly Ymir remembered the piece of paper in her bag "oh Armin, Mikasa can I show you guys something ?" The two nodded and looked at the brunette expectantly. Ymir went to retrieve the folded paper out of her bag and came back out to hand it to the other two. Armin's smile widened and Mikasa simply frowned "Ymiiiir you have a secret admirer !!" 

Ymir blushed like crazy "err I don't know maybe the person just draws random people for fun.."

"Ymir there are little hearts drawn around you" Ymir crossed her arms and looked away "what do you think Mikasa ?"

Armin turned to Mikasa who was still frowning at the drawing "this is a realistic drawing but the art style seems familiar. I can't put my finger on where I've seen it before though."

Ymir took back the drawing and stared at it for a while before turning her gaze to Mikasa "do you have a pin ? I want to stick it to my wall" Mikasa nodded. The three teenagers went back to the girls' room and watched as Ymir put the drawing right next to her But I'm a Cheerleader poster "secret admirer or not this is the prettiest drawing I've ever received" Armin nodded. 

Erwin knocked at the door "Ymir, someone's on the phone for you" Ymir's eyes widened wondering who would be calling for her. Erwin handed his phone to Ymir who smiled upon seeing the caller ID "Petra !!" Mikasa and Armin left the room with Erwin to give Ymir some privacy.

"Ymir I'm so happy to hear your voice again ! How was your first week of school ? Are you getting along well with your classmates ?" Petra had a tint of worry in her voice, last school year ended pretty badly so Ymir guessed it was normal for her to be worried about her.

"It's great I made some friends !" Ymir heard Petra's sigh of relief and resisted the urge to chuckle "this family is great you were right Petra thank you so much."

"I knew you'd get along well with them. They are good people." Ymir could only agree "look I have a surprise for you" the brunette raised one eyebrow at that, as previously mentioned she is extremely curious "you never had one before and it's always a pain in the ass to contact you because of that so tomorrow I'll come by to drop you your very own first ever phone !" Ymir let out a scream of excitement. When she had gone to her first foster family Petra had given her a very old phone which could basically only call people, you couldn't even send text messages with it. The phone had broke when she was 15 and ever since then Ymir had no way of contacting Petra unless she asked for someone else's phone "I talked with Erwin and he wants a way to communicate with you whenever you go out just in case something happens to you. He was surprised when I first told him that you never had a phone before"

Ymir chuckled "yeah they didn't believe in technology so."

Petra laughed a little as well "I have to go. See you tomorrow Ymir have a good night" 

Ymir hung up after saying good night to Petra. She felt amazing. Her gaze landed on the drawing on her wall and her smile widened. 

Nothing could go wrong now that Historia decided to leave her alone.

Chapter Text

"This is all for today miss Reiss we will see each other next week. I hope that you won't be distracted by then" Historia sighed as her piano teacher finally leaves. She wasn't in the mood this afternoon, in fact she hadn't been in the mood the entire week. 

The blonde stood up and walked back to her room. The corridors of this mansion still felt very foreign to her even though she had been living there for four years now. She stopped in front of a huge framed picture of her father next to another woman and their children. Her gaze landed on the oldest of the children, Frieda Reiss, with her long black hair and her baby blue eyes. 

Historia never forgot the first time they had met. It was long before her father publicly recognized her. She still lived with her mother in a small farm an hour away from here back then. Her mother wasn't home, she was at work, when a 15 years old Frieda came and knocked on her door. She was originally not going to answer but Frieda had lied saying that Historia's mother had hired her as a babysitter to take care of the blonde. Historia didn't question it, her mother never talked to her so she had no sense of danger. She had happily opened the door and spent the rest of the day playing with Frieda. This went on for a whole month, Frieda would come whenever Alma wasn't home, and Historia would let her in to play and spend some time together. 

She wasn't lonely anymore, she had Frieda.

Until one day Alma came home earlier than usual, her pale skin reddened upon seeing Frieda inside her home. Historia had never seen her mother express any type of emotions before so when she heard her lash out on Frieda it was truly terrifying. The blonde cried when her mother threw Frieda out. The only one that cared about her.

"Does she come see you at school as well ?"

"No only here... she said that you had hired her as a babysitter..." 

"That little bitch" her mother had disappeared in her room after that. Historia had heard her yelling on the phone. And after that day Frieda never showed up again. 

She didn't hear Frieda's voice again until about a year ago when she got a weird phone call from an unknown number. 

"Kr- I mean Historia is that you ?" 

Historia's eyes had widened remembering the voice belonging to her sister "Frieda...? Is that really you w-what-"

"Is Rod home ? I tried to make sure that you would be alone" Historia had heard movements in the background but chose not to comment on it.

"N-no I am alone yes. Why are you calling ? If he finds out-"

Frieda had quickly cut her off "this is why I'm calling, you need to leave Historia. I saw a picture of you on the Tv the other day and I- just- you look miserable and I can't let him do this to you."

Historia had frown, a slight anger rising in her tiny body, the reason why she was in this situation in the first place was because they had all abandoned her father "you want me to leave and abandon the only person that cares about me ? Are you even hearing yourself Frieda ?!" 

"Historia I care about you ! Please. I don't have much time but if you change your mind contact me on this number again and we will comme pick you up okay ? You can come live with uncle Uri like us." 

The blonde had felt nervous about asking her next question "you're not living with your mother...?"

A silence "she died of cancer three years ago. We came to live with uncle Uri and his husband. It's nice Historia I think you would love it here." 

Historia had groaned and simply hung up. How dared Frieda try to disrupt her perfect life.

She felt a tear slide down her left cheek. She quickly wiped it and went to her room. 

She threw herself on her bed and let out a loud groan. She felt exhausted even though she had basically done nothing besides her piano lesson. She turned to lay on her stomach and took her phone. Social media was her whole entire life now, she would post pictures weekly but of course they had to be approved by her father first, he couldn't risk another scandal. She searched up a few usernames of accounts she liked to stalk from times to times, Mikasa's account being one of them. She liked to see how her old friends were doing. Her gaze stopped on a recent picture Mikasa had posted, in it she was with her parents, Armin and familiar freckled girl. Historia's heart started beating faster. She had already tried searching up her name but had found no account belonging to the brunette. But now she noticed that Mikasa had mentioned an account that clearly seemed to belong to Ymir. The account was brand new and was now added to her list of accounts to stalk. She went back to the picture and stared at the brunette for a few more minutes. She was way more attractive than Mikasa, and it took her a whole year before Historia was able to move on from the raven haired girl. 

God she needed a distraction and quick. 

She turned off her phone and sighed. Hitch was probably getting ready for a party tonight but Historia wasn't in the mood to party. She could study for her test on Tuesday but she didn't feel like doing that either. 

Then again she could go bother Reiner. He was the only friend from middle school that her father had approved of, 'he seems strong and he has good manners, you even have my benediction to marry him' she didn't think of Reiner that way though, she had never thought of any men that way. 

The blonde considered calling before showing up to his house but she just shrugged and got ready to go. Last time she went to his house, his annoying cousin was there, but Historia was so bored that she was ready to even spend time with the little demon if she had to. 

Historia took her car and drove to a coffee shop before heading to Reiner's home. She went inside and waited in line to order an iced coffee. The line was a bit long but after a few minutes of waiting, it was finally her turn to order. She regretted coming here when her eyes met with a familiar icy blue ones "oh. You work here."

Annie raised an eyebrow "you shouldn't be here this place isn't fancy enough" Historia heard Connie snort but when she glanced his way he busied himself with serving another client "go on order Princess I don't have all day, clients are waiting."

"Ha ha you're so funny" Historia rolled her eyes "If I had known you worked here I would've avoided this place. Well whatever I want an iced coffee, with lots of cream" Annie smirked and went on to work on the order. 

Historia didn't hate Annie, but if her father knew that she was talking with the 'trans freak' he wouldn't be happy. Annie was someone Historia secretly admired, the other blonde was proud of her identity no matter what others say, it made Historia jealous. She too wished she could be proud of her identity without having to fear the wrath of her only parent left. 

Annie came back with Historia's coffee "3$ and 50 cents" Historia handed her the money and took her coffee, ready to leave "oh her majesty is not going to leave a tip ? Not feeling like being generous to the plebs today ?" Historia raised her middle finger to the other blonde and left the coffee shop, Annie and Connie's laughs ringing in her ears. 

Once in her car Historia dropped her coffee in the cup holder and took the time to stop her heavy breathing. They hate her, they all hate her. They used to love Krista, cover her with compliments, invite her to their houses, show her the love her mother never gave her. They loved Krista but they hate Historia. 

Historia wasn't even human anymore, she felt like a doll, an empty shell of a person. 

Was this how Frieda had felt all this time ?

Historia wiped her tears and finally calmed down. A few weeks ago during summer she almost tried to reconnect with Frieda. Almost. She was scared that her big sister would resent her for taking her place. 

She shook her head and turned the car back on. The drive toward Reiner's house was faster than she thought it would be. Reiner lived in a very modest neighborhood. He only lived with his mother and they weren't very rich. Talking about his mother, she was working at this hour. Historia was a little relieved, she always felt really intimidated in the woman's presence, she could tell that she wanted Historia to get with Reiner, it makes her uncomfortable. 

Historia noticed another car in the driveway. It was familiar but she couldn't really tell where she had seen it before. Historia got out of her car and went toward the door, she knocked once. No answer. Historia huffed and knocked again. If her memory was correct, Reiner wasn't supposed to be working that day. No answer. 

"Reiner open the door now or I'm destroying it" Historia got closer to the door, she heard shuffling inside of the house and muffled voices. The blonde frowned and now she was banging at the door. 

"Alright Alright I'm coming !" Historia stopped and Reiner finally opened the door, he was only wearing pants and his hair looked disheveled "what do you want ? Couldn't you have called ?"

"I'm bored. I want to hang out with you." 

Reiner frowned "that won't be possible today sorry" he was going to close the door but Historia held it "Historia go away." 

Historia tried to forcefully open the door but Reiner was much stronger than she was "come on we haven't hung out in so long !! I'll even babysit your cousin for you if you want but please don't leave me alone." 

"Historia get out of my house I can't hang out with you today" the blonde finally let go of the door and Reiner closed it. She frowned and left to go to her car. She was going to enter the car but her eyes caught sight of someone on one of the first floor windows.

Historia turned around and locked eyes with Bertolt who quickly pushed back the curtains upon noticing her gaze. Historia frowned and went back to bang on the door "you lying piece of shit !! You have time for Bertolt but not for me ?!"  

"Go away Historia or I call the cops on your ass !" Reiner yelled from behind the door. Historia frowned and was about to bang some more but noticed some of Reiner's neighbors looking at her from their windows. Her father couldn't afford another scandal. 

Historia quickly went back inside of her car and let out her frustrations by slamming the dashboard with her fists. Once she was calmer she looked at her hands which were already starting to bruise, great. 

The drive back home was pretty quiet. Reiner was clearly hiding something from her and it was driving her insane. No more secrets, she couldn't handle people keeping stuffs from her, not anymore. 

She thought about it, hard, she could even feel a headache starting to form. 

And then it hit her.

Reiner, shirtless, hair disheveled. Bertolt, equally as shirtless, maybe even naked. Historia's eyes widened. 

Oh if her father were to find out what his perfect little Reiner was actually.

Historia laughed but not because it was funny. She was laughing out of exhaustion, and also maybe because she was slightly going insane. 

Once she was much calmer she went back inside of her house. Historia was about to head inside of her room when her eyes landed on the kitchen door. Her father wouldn't be happy if she gained some weight, but then again he doesn't have to know. She went in the kitchen and sat on the table munching on a sandwich filled with anything she could find. The taste was questionable but it made her feel better. She would just have to not eat tomorrow at lunch to balance it out. 

Historia stood up and walked back to her room to a open a small notebook, the number Frieda had used to call her written on the first page. Historia hadn't dared saving the number in her phone scared that her father would find out somehow. 

Maybe she could call her back. Maybe she could drop everything and go live with Uncle Uri too. 

That was tempting. 

But she couldn't do that to her father. The man who had given her everything. Quitting everything just because everyone hated her now seemed a bit extreme. 

Frieda was a coward but Historia was a hero. At least she hoped she was in her father's eyes. After all her father's approval was all that mattered, why would she care about what Annie thinks. 

She really missed Reiner right now. He's great at comforting. 

Historia went back down to finish her sandwich. She passed in front of her father's liquor cabinet and decided to take a bottle with her, getting drunk once couldn't hurt. 

✰ ✰ ✰

"Historia slow down you look like you haven't eaten in days."

Historia swallowed and nodded. The next day, Rod had finally came back to visit the blonde. With her father around she felt less in need of sinning or breaking rules. 

Rod cleared his throat and looked up to Historia, the blonde froze as she was about to take another bite of her plate and locked eyes with her father "I have something to tell you Historia" the blonde raised an eyebrow waiting for her father to continue "I'm running for governor in the next elections." 

Historia lifted her eyebrows "that's good" 

"I won't be home for a while during the campaign. Don't use the house to throw parties Historia I'm serious if you break my trust I won't hesitate to set up cameras around the house" the blonde nodded furiously. The last thing she wanted was for her father to stop trusting her. 

Historia's gaze landed on her plate, her thoughts drifting to Reiner. He still hadn't texted her and she felt bad about the whole situation. The blonde knew for a fact that Reiner's mom was a conservator just like her father, she remembered the old woman talking about going to protests against gay people. And if Reiner was really seeing Bertolt behind her back then it wouldn't be good if she were to find out. Now that she thought about it the two had always been really close growing up, she remembers Annie being close to them as well, until her coming out. 

When Historia was back in her room that night she pulled out her phone and called Reiner. It rang four times before he finally answered "I don't think I'm ready to talk about it right now." 

"Hello Reiner. I have a proposition" noticing that the blond was staying silent she continued in almost a whisper, scared that her father would somehow hear her even though his office was far from her room "if I guessed correctly you're seeing Bertolt" no answers "look. Remember when I had a crush on Mikasa in middle school ?"

"Yeah ? Are you in love with her again ?"

"God no" Historia almost snorted, remembering on how hopelessly in love she was with the goth girl, now a certain brunette popped in her mind every time she thought about Mikasa "I may, have a small crush on a girl.." she looked at the door expecting her father to come barging in her room anytime "I can't try something with her without my father asking any questions. This is why I need you."

"You need me for what ?"

"I want you to date me"

A silence, and then Reiner burst out laughing "are you being serious ? I'm seeing Bertolt you said it yourself"

"That's the thing ! You keep seeing Bertolt, I try to pursue this girl, all the while both our parents think we're dating that way we're safe." 

"This is a dumb idea"

Historia frowned "look Reiner if I don't have a boyfriend by the time I'm 18 my father's going to try to set me up with a random guy I have never met before. I'd feel safer with someone like you Reiner. Please." 

She heard the blond sigh "okay. Alright let's do this. But this girl better be worth it. Who is it anyway ?" 

Historia chuckled "maybe I'll tell you later" 

A silence "I like nice Historia, I wish you were like that at school too." 

"Goodnight Reiner" Historia sighed and hung up. She rubbed her eyes, trying to rub the tiredness away. It was hardly working. 

She managed to find the strength to stand up, go out of her room and walk toward her father's office. She knocked once before entering the office "what is it Historia I'm busy" 

Historia pulled on her biggest smile before saying "Father I have big news as well.."

Chapter Text

A long silence as the school counselor read something on his computer left Ymir sweating.  

Erwin was the one that advised her to go see the old man. She looked down at the small plate on his desk, Dot Pixis, he should’ve retired a long time ago in her opinion. He seemed a bit senile.

When Levi had asked her what she wanted to be in the futur she just couldn't answer. To be honest she wouldn't even dare thinking about going to college, it felt like something out of reach. She wouldn't be able to get a scholarship, and and even if she did, it would still be too expensive. Erwin told her to bring something that she loved to do, and there aren’t that many things that she loves doing. 

Besides writing letters to Ilse.

So she brought her letters to the counselor, in those letters she basically writes about everything that happens to her since she turned 13. She didn’t really have time to write recently but usually she writes those letters weekly. 

“Are you sure you wrote that ?”

Ymir sighed, she wasn’t exactly sure what made the old man doubt her but it was getting annoying “yes I told you I wrote that.” 

“You’re not lying ?”

“Why would I fucking lie about that ?!”

Pixis shook his head slowly “now let’s not use such foul language” Ymir scoffed, it wasn’t her fault this man was so dumb. He pointed back at the letters spread on his desk “this is amazing, you should consider going to college for creative writing.”

“You think I invented these stuff..?” sure it could sound fake to other people, but Ymir knew all of this was very real. 

“No you clearly said those are stuff that happened during your childhood. But think about it, you graduate with a creative writing degree, and then you publish your very first book about your childhood using all these letters…”

Ymir’s eyes widened, never such idea would cross her mind, her childhood was secret, she didn’t want to share it with anyone, it was private. She already felt shitty about the fact that Erwin and Levi knew about it, but she just didn’t want anyone else to know “who would even want to read about that ?”

“You’d be surprised…”

When she left the old man’s office, Ymir felt even more confused. But it didn’t matter in the end, college was out of the question. 

She felt her phone buzz in her pocket, when she took it out she saw a text from Annie asking her to come to her house after classes to brainstorm costume ideas for Halloween. Right she almost forgot about that. 

✰ ✰ ✰

"I think I should just go as myself this year, I'll scare all the transphobes away" Annie was looking at herself in the mirror trying on a black dress, smirking at her own joke. 

Ymir snorted, she was laying down on Annie's bed. The strong smell of Annie’s perfume hitting her nostrils, she couldn’t help herself from turning a bit more around to smell the pillow better, the smell was weirdly comforting now.

The blonde lived in a tiny apartment with her father but it was still nice. Her room was plastered in communist and anarchist posters as well as a few band posters and some pictures, in one of those she recognized two boys from her school next to Annie, Reiner and Ber...she didn't remember his name, they all seemed to be around 14-15. It reminded her of Mikasa's side of the room except way messier -not everyone has a Levi at home- and less organized. 

Ymir really wanted Mikasa and Annie to get together, she felt like playing Cupid on Halloween night, they all wanted to go out together, maybe to go eat at a fast food and go trick or treating, Ymir wanted to tell Armin about her plan to leave Mikasa and Annie alone but she was a hundred percent sure that the blond would tell Mikasa everything. Ymir stood up and went to Annie's pantry "how about we all go with matching costumes, wouldn't it be super cool ?"

Annie thought about it for a second "we can't. Sasha uses the same costume every year, and I refuse to dress up as someone from the hunger games those movies sucked."

Ymir frowned "the hunger games seriously ? Thought she would choose a cooler costume."

"It's just a way to flex her archery skills every year" Annie rolled her eyes and went to the pantry as well retrieving another dress. 

Ymir just gave her an incredulous stare "archery skills what the fuck ?" 

"I know right" Annie turned to Ymir "her father used to take her hunting or something like that. That's actually kinda cool but don't tell her I said that" Ymir simply nodded and smiled. Annie had a soft spot for the others and it was nice to be able to witness it from time to time "I actually have an album somewhere with all of our Halloween costumes since elementary school hold on.." Annie retrieved a huge book from a drawer of her desk and sat on her bed. The blonde patted the spot next to her and Ymir sat there, Annie's cat, Donut, sitting on her lap and purring "err I trust you enough to show you pictures pre transition but please don't comment on them."

Ymir put her hand on Annie's shoulder "I promise."

Annie smiled a little and opened the album. The first picture was from first grade, Annie was standing next to Reiner and Bernard- no that's not his name.. they had matching chipmunks costumes, Annie was Simon, Bertrand was Theodore and Reiner was Alvin, it was the cutest thing she had seen today. Annie showed a few other pictures and as she had said in every single one of them Sasha was dressed as Katniss Everdeen, holding her bow proudly. In one of them Mikasa was dressed as a princess and she was kissing Knight Eren's cheek. In another one Jean was literally dressed as a horse and carrying zombie Marco on his back. And in another Armin was dressed as Albert Einstein holding tests tubes. Seeing all of her friends so happy on Halloween and knowing that she was going to be able to experience it with them this year filled her with a warm feeling.

Her eyes landed on a particular picture of Annie, Sasha and Historia. The latter was dressed as Rapunzel, her long golden hair shining but not as bright as her smile. She was hugging Sasha so tight on the picture that she could see a slight grimace on Sasha's face. Annie had an arm draped over Historia's shoulder, dressed up as Garfield, her smile was bigger than the brunette had ever seen. Ymir caught sight of Annie's sad eyes staring at the picture, Ymir could only imagine how much losing a friend like that could hurt, especially when you still have to see her everyday "she used to be so pretty" Annie gave her a confused look and Ymir sighed "I guess she still is, but to me someone who acts the way she does can only be ugly." 

Annie opened her mouth to say something but a phone ringing cut her off. It took a few seconds for Ymir to register that it was her phone and jumped towards her bag to retrieve it, she still wasn't used to having a phone "hello ??" 

"Ymir are you still with Annie ?" Mikasa's voice was soft but Ymir could sense some tint of worry in her voice. 

"Wh- yes I am we're still choosing our Halloween costumes, what's wrong ??" 

"Put yourself on speaker" Ymir raised an eyebrow but did as she was told "Annie ?"

The blonde's gaze landed on the phone "Mikasa ? Why didn't you just call me on my phone ?" 

"You never answer your phone and it's kind of urgent" now Ymir could clearly hear Mikasa's voice cracks as if she was holding her tears or something, she heard another person sniffle in the background but didn't comment on it. 

"You're scaring me Mikasa did something happen to you ??"

A pause, Mikasa was the one who sniffled this time "I thought you should know that Reiner and Historia are dating, I didn't want you to learn it through Instagram like we did." 

Ymir turned to Annie who's eyes were glassy and wide "no. No he wouldn't. They are still friends but he-" Annie quickly retrieved her phone and went on Instagram, she let out a little pained noise and rubbed at her eyes, Annie was crying, in front of Ymir, the brunette couldn't believe her eyes "I can't believe he would do this to me... he's not even... Reiner's not.. what..." Ymir took Annie in her arms, the blonde resisted at first but then she buried her face in Ymir's chest. Ymir's eyes landed on the screen of Annie's phone, there was an Instagram post from Historia's account which showed the latter and Reiner kissing. In the caption there was a date which showed that they had started dating a few weeks ago but finally made it official just now "her father hates people like me... and Reiner just go and date her..." Annie lightly punched Ymir's chest feeling a wave of rage passing through her, the brunette simply winced. 

"That's not all. We were watching the news with Levi and, her father, Rod, he's running for governor of the state" Mikasa choked a little at the end of her sentence. 

Annie bit her lips "we're fucked... my father already pays a lot for my hormones, w-we're saving up for my bottom surgery and because of.. because of..." Annie was full on sobbing now and Ymir was rubbing circles in her back to calm her down. Annie was miserable and Ymir wasn't exactly sure what to do to comfort her. She felt a bit awkward. 

Ymir turned the speaker off and lowered her voice "Mikasa, tell Levi I'll be home a little later than what was planned, I can't leave her like that.."

"I understand. I would've come to comfort her as well but I have to take care of Eren and Armin. See you tonight Ymir call me if you need anything" Mikasa hung up after that. 

Ymir kept hugging Annie until the blonde was finally calm. After what felt like an eternity, Annie lightly pushed Ymir away "sorry. That won't happen again and don't even dare telling a soul about this."

The brunette lightly chuckled at that "I promise don't worry. Also I'm sorry, learning all of this at once must be hard."

Annie shook her head "yeah, I thought Reiner was my best friend, he was like a brother to me you know ?" Ymir nodded, Annie frowned and looked at her feet "he's not even into girls, Reiner is gay, I don't know what he's doing but if he's going through an internalized homophobia phase he could've just told me instead of-" Annie groaned and threw herself on her bed, Ymir tried to come closer but Annie stopped her "you should go Ymir, I want to be alone with my father now. But thank you for comforting me..." Ymir smiled and left after giving Annie a pat on the shoulder. 

When she got home she was met with the sight of Levi on the phone with someone, his eyes were red and puffy, like he had been crying. His eyes landed on Ymir as he answered the person on the other end of the line "I know that there's another candidate but he's very popular and he has been accused of corruption in the past" Levi waved at Ymir and at this instant the brunette felt like she was suddenly a small fragile child again. The sight of Levi like that broke her heart. She ran and hugged the smaller men tightly, she felt her own tears run down her face "I'll call you back Hange... yes you can visit whenever you want... Goodbye" Levi dropped the phone and hugged Ymir back just as tightly "it's okay Ymir everything will be fine." 

Ymir pulled away and wiped her eyes "I'm sorry I don't know why I did that" she let out a nervous chuckle. 

Levi took Ymir's face in his hands "don't apologize. It's normal to feel vulnerable sometimes" Ymir first frowned at that, she wasn't weak, she was strong. But when Levi rubbed Ymir's cheek she couldn't help but smile, Levi was a grumpy old man most of the time but he had a soft spot, just like Annie "Mikasa told me you were comforting Annie which is why you were late. Eren is sleeping over tonight, I usually  wouldn't have allowed it since I like to know a few days in advance but this is different." 

Ymir nodded and went for the stairs before turning toward Levi one last time "what's the difference between Reiss and any other conservator candidates ?"

Levi frowned "we haven't had a conservator governor in a long time. Each time one tried to run for governor they were just too stupid for people to take them seriously. But people here have lots of respect for Reiss, and he knows how to manipulate people. He is also known for his racist and anti lgbt policies" he sighed "if he is elected as governor it's over for all of us." 

Ymir nodded and considered running back to Levi for a second but instead she went upstairs to join the others. The three were in Armin's room, the blond was in Mikasa's arm whereas Eren was sitting on the bed staring at the ground "hey guys." 

Mikasa turned to Ymir and smiled "how's Annie ?" 

"She's fine, she wanted to be alone with her father" Ymir sat next to Eren, she noticed his left leg bouncing up and down. 

Eren was like a ticking bomb and Ymir was scared of the moment the boy would explode. After a while Eren suddenly stood up making Ymir slightly flinch "welp this is terrible ! Let's talk about  Halloween" Mikasa smiled a little and nodded. This was a bit surprising, usually Eren wouldn't drop the subject so easily, and now he was willing to just talk about something else. Ymir glanced at Armin who had smiled a little at the mention of Halloween and a realization hit her, Eren wanted to comfort Armin as well, this made her see the boy in a different way. 

They all started discussing about Halloween, Eren and Armin had decided to go as vampires -Ymir had resisted the urge to comment on how unoriginal that was- and Mikasa was going as that blue haired girl from Arcane. Ymir still wasn't sure what she was going as, she obviously wanted her costume to be original, she decided to give it some more thoughts before her final decision. 

That night Levi had pulled back the couch and the armchair to put a big mattress in front of the Tv. The four teenagers stayed up late watching movies and laughing. 

At around 3 am Ymir was woken up by the front door opening. The brunette was a very light sleeper, just a small noise was able to wake her up. She opened her eyes and saw Levi rushing to the door where Erwin was standing, the blond man was slouching a little and Levi frowned "where where you ?!" he was whisper shouting "you reek of alcohol." 

Erwin sighed and took of his jacket "I was with Miche, I needed to unwind a little."

Levi pushed Erwin a little "we're all upset about Reiss becoming the next governor but that doesn't mean you can just disappear like that. The kids needed you- I needed you Erwin." 

Erwin didn't answer simply looked away. Levi sighed and left upstairs. Erwin lingered a little more by the entrance and his eyes found Ymir's, the brunette squirmed a little and quickly shut her eyes. When she opened them again Erwin was gone.

✰ ✰ ✰

Halloween night finally arrived. Ymir had finally decided to go as Juno. She didn’t question why Annie had a fake pregnant belly lying around in her closet, but when she saw it the idea popped in her head. She kept her ponytail low though considering her hair is very short. 

Ymir went outside of the room and smirked when she saw Mikasa "the blue wig looks amazing on you have you ever thought of dying your hair ?"

Mikasa shook her head "don't want to damage them. But hey how about you dye you hair ? You strike me as the blue haired liberal type." Ymir chuckled and went downstairs followed by the now blue haired girl. 

Armin was waiting by the door with Levi, they still had to go fetch Eren at his house. Levi frowned when Erwin came at his side, ever since that night where Erwin had gone drinking, Levi was avoiding him. Ymir had even noticed Erwin sleeping on the couch once or twice. 

Erwin put his hand on Armin's shoulder "be careful tonight kids. Make sure to all stay together" they all hugged Erwin and Levi.

They had left after that and Ymir felt slightly bad about leaving her foster parents alone when there was tension between the two. 

After retrieving Eren they joined the others. Ymir frowned when she saw that Sasha was wearing a costume of Chloe Price from Life is strange "are you serious ?! We didn't get matching costumes because we thought you would go as the hunger games girl again !" 

"Oops forgot to mention that I was changing my costume this year..." Sasha nervously giggled. 

Connie was disguised as skibidi toilet and Ymir decided not to comment on it. Marco and Jean were vampires "what ?! Why are you guys vampires too ?!" Jean was ready to jump on Eren "you copied us !" 

Eren being held back by Armin was just as ready to kill Jean "no YOU copied us !"

Ymir was looking around, Annie was missing, she didn't stood them up did she ? 

A wave of relief washed over Ymir as she saw the blonde arriving and waving. Everyone snickered at her costume though "oh did you guys plan on matching ?" asked Sasha innocently. 

Annie frowned confused but when her gaze landed on Mikasa she blushed deeply “what’s going on ?” Ymir asked completely lost. 

Armin let go of Eren that took the opportunity to jump into Jean “Mikasa’s dressed as Caitlyn from Arcane, and Annie is dressed as Vi, Caitlyn’s girlfriend” indeed Annie had put on temporary red dye on her blonde locks, and she was wearing a similar outfit as the character on a picture she saw in Armin’s room. 

"I- I didn't know that..." Mikasa was blushing just as much as Annie. Ymir thanked whatever god was out there for making this happen. 

After this really cute encounter, they all went to eat at the nearest fast food because Sasha was hungry -as always- and they sat waiting for their food. 

While everyone else was eating Ymir noticed Annie looking at her phone a lot, Ymir got closer to her to whisper "are you okay what's wrong ?"

Annie sighed "I had invited Reiner and Bertolt" oh so that was his name "they usually come with us to Halloween but Reiner is at Hitch's dumb Halloween party and Bertolt just didn't want to come." 

Ymir could understand that it was frustrating. She rubbed Annie's shoulder lightly and the blonde smiled a little. 

After they finished eating they separated. Eren and Armin went together, Marco and Jean obviously, Mikasa and Annie -which was part of Ymir's plan- and Ymir decided to just tag along with Connie and Sasha. The two were fun until they were mostly talking with each other and Ymir kind of felt excluded. 

At some point she lost sight of them and decided to just walk around the neighborhood alone, they would all join each other at Jean's house at midnight so she still had some time to kill. Ymir passed in front of a big house, loud music was coming out of it. Ymir didn't think much of it until her eyes landed on a small blonde sitting alone on the steps of the house. It was Historia. Ymir frowned, she shouldn't be alone like that outside, in that corset and small skirt of hers. The blonde was shivering, maybe out of cold or maybe because she was sad Ymir wasn't sure. The brunette felt a pang of guilt hit her and decided to go see if she was okay. When Ymir got close enough the blonde's head shot up and she had been in fact crying. 

Historia frowned upon seeing Ymir and hid her face in her hands "what do you want.?" 

Ymir just looked at Historia, she wasn't sure how she felt about this "you look miserable what's up princess ?" obviously the nickname was meant to be hurtful, Ymir had picked it up from Annie. 

The blonde let out a sort of growl at the nickname "get away from me you fucking dyke." 

Ymir just smirked at that and sat down next to the blonde who flinched a little "you want me to leave you alone when you're vulnerable like that and anyone could take advantage of you ?" Historia raised an eyebrow and Ymir shook her head "I'm not a monster Historia I hate you but not enough to let you get sexually assaulted or something." 

Historia stayed silent for a few minutes until she finally said "thank you. It's nice. Sorry for calling you a dyke I don't know why I did that." 

Ymir put her hand on Historia's shoulder "you didn't answer me what's up with you ? Did your boyfriend break up with you ?"

Historia snorted at that "oh no he wouldn't dare. He's inside talking with people. I just felt very overwhelmed with all of these people around, it doesn't happen a lot but I have been feeling down recently. And the music is really loud, Hitch won’t turn it down." 

"I see" Ymir stared at the sky looking at the different constellations "you don't have to go to these types of parties if you hate them by the way you know ?" 

Historia bit her lower lip "I can't. I need pictures for my Instagram otherwise people will see me as some sort of social reject. No offense." 

"None taken." 

Historia shivered again. Ymir took of her jacket and put it around her shoulders. She saw Historia’s cheeks turning red but she didn’t comment on it. 

The blonde's frown turned into a small sad smile "you're not so bad Ymir. And not so ugly." 

Ymir raised an eyebrow slightly amused "thank you ?" 

Historia turned to face Ymir, she was staring at the brunette's face intensely, Ymir felt really uncomfortable, Historia's gaze was intimidating her. The blonde got closer, and closer, and closer, eventually taking Ymir's hands in hers and almost touching her lips with her own. 

The moment Ymir realized what Historia was doing she roughly pushed the blonde away "what the fuck do you think you're doing ?!" 

Historia's eyes were filled with tears ready to spill at any moment "I- I thought..-" 

"What ? You think you can just kiss me and then laugh about it with your friends ?! Fuck you Historia, I wouldn't want my mouth near yours even if it was a matter of life and death !" Ymir walked away, she heard Historia sob but she didn't care. Who did she think she was ? Calling Ymir a dyke and then trying to kiss her like it was normal. 

Ymir was still angry when she arrived at Jean's house, everyone else noticed it but Ymir refused to say anything about it. Her anger faltered the moment she entered the warmth of her bed. And suddenly tears were falling down her cheeks, why did Historia do that ? Why was she so cruel ?

Mikasa stood in front of Ymir's bed but the brunette refused to look at her in the eyes "I know you don't want to talk about it but if you need to you know we're here okay ?" Ymir nodded and tried to keep any more tears from spilling. Mikasa caressed her cheek and Ymir leaned into the touch "wake me up if you need anything." 

The goth girl went to her bed and Ymir felt like throwing herself out the window. She didn't deserve all of this, not Levi and Erwin, not her friends, she didn't deserve happiness, Historia was there to remind her that. 

Her eyes landed on the drawing of herself on her wall, somewhere someone had thought that Ymir was pretty enough to be drawn, the brunette had received more drawings in her locker that she kept in a folder. Ymir was wondering why anyone would think she was worth thinking about. 

Ymir had trouble falling asleep for the first time in months that night.

Chapter Text

Ymir woke up shivering, the cold of November would not keep her from wearing boxers and a t shirt to sleep, even though she was freezing every morning. 

She ate breakfast and then took a quick shower. Levi was cleaning the corridor when she got out of the shower "your hair's been getting longer" Levi gently smiled at Ymir. The brunette touched her hair, it was true that it had grown a bit, when she had arrived here it was really short and now it was touching her shoulders "do you need help with it ?" Ymir simply nodded. Usually she kept her hair really short, she didn't have a great hygiene so keeping it short would allow her to not take care of it. But Levi was really strict about hygiene, before coming here Ymir could spend days without taking a shower, now if she were to miss just one shower Levi would drag her into the bathtub by the hair. 

Levi and Ymir were now in the living room where the former was putting Ymir's hair in a low ponytail, it was still too short for high ones. It reminded Ymir of her childhood when her hair would be really long and the other women would take care of it. Ymir frowned at the thought, she didn't want to think about that right now. 

“Do you want me to cut them on Saturday ?”

She looked at her reflection on the tv screen, maybe long hair would look nice on her “no never mind actually I think I want to try having long hair again” 

He gently pinched her cheek “alright Rapunzel.”

Once he was done, Levi patted her shoulder "thank you Levi."

The shorter man smiled "no problem Ymir. Now go get ready for school." 

It was really really cold outside but Ymir refused to put on an actual jacket, she was wearing her favorite flannel and a scarf. Erwin had scolded her about it. 

On the topic of Erwin, it was still really tense between her two foster parents. She could notice Armin and Mikasa giving each other worried looks every time Levi would coldly answer Erwin. Ymir wanted to help fix things somehow but she wasn't sure how, adults were hard to understand sometimes. 

When she arrived at her locker she found once again another drawing, a small smile was tugging at her lips "again ?" commented Sasha who had just joined her side followed by Connie. 

"Yeah, I don't know why she never signs it though" Ymir put the drawing in her bag and took her French book. 

Sasha opened her own locker "maybe she's shy." 

"Or really ugly" Sasha pinched Connie who let out a pained moan. 

Ymir shook her head "I don't care about beauty or anything like that." 

Sasha closed her locker "you're right Ymir everyone should think like you" she frowned at Connie and then turned back to Ymir "hey do you want to come eat with us at a restaurant after school ?" 

Ymir was about to answer when Connie cut her off "no Sasha you can't keep using this poor guy's crush on you to get free meals !" 

Sasha frowned "why not ? He's okay with that."

"Well yeah because he thinks you like him back !" Connie desperately turned to Ymir "please Ymir bring some sense into her !" 

Ymir snorted "you have an admirer too Sasha ?"

Sasha dramatically sighed "yes, his name is Niccolo, his father owns that restaurant near Marco's house, it's super expensive but since Niccolo has a crush on me he offers me free meal. I thought I could invite all of you guys to eat for free. Wouldn't that be super cool ?"

The freckled brunette shook her head "don't lead on this poor guy Sasha” she couldn’t help the little smirk that was tugging at her lips, if she were in Sasha’s situation, she would most likely do the exact same thing.

Connie triumphantly smiled "see ! I told you this wasn't nice." 

"I'm not leading him on !" Sasha crossed her arms and frowned. "I'll take you to the restaurant and you'll see" Ymir laughed at that and went to class. 

She sat at her usual spot at the back. After a few minutes, Historia entered the class alongside Hitch but she looked... weird. She wasn't wearing her usual short skirts nor her hot pink blouses. No she was wearing a grey hoodie and sweatpants. Someone commented on the hoodie and she giggled a little saying it was Reiner's. What striked Ymir the most though was the fact that Historia was wearing glasses, she didn't know that the blonde wore glasses. Well Historia had mentioned the first time that she couldn't see from the back of the class but Ymir had just assumed that she was lying. Historia's hair was in a messy bun and Ymir was now trying to understand if Historia was just trying to look relatable or something, the brunette wondered if Harry Styles would come into the class to kidnap Historia. She tried to hold in a laughter at that thought. 

The blonde turned and her eyes locked with Ymir's. A small blush appeared on the blonde's face and she averted her gaze. This whole situation was making Ymir uncomfortable, the blonde was hard to read and it drove Ymir insane. Why did she try to kiss Ymir ? Maybe Hitch was hiding somewhere recording the whole scene, that was the only explanation possible. 

When Ymir tried to go to the cafeteria for lunch she was stopped by a rather muscular woman with short blonde hair, she looked like a teacher. Ymir blushed a little at the sight, attractive women intimidated her "are you Ymir ?" 

"Wh- yes it is I" Ymir scratched the back of her neck hoping that she sounded natural "why ?" 

The woman smiled "A member of the swim team broke her leg and won't be able to make the team this year. When I talked with Erwin about it he recommended you. He said you had strong arms and long legs" Ymir wanted to hide her face in her hands, she couldn't believe Erwin had said that about her "oh where are my manners" the woman nervously laughed "my name is Nanaba I'm a PE teacher here and I also coach the girls swim team."  

Ymir nodded "nice to meet you. Are you sure you want me on your team ? I'm a bit clumsy and rather lazy." 

Nanaba looked intensely at Ymir making the brunette squirm a little "well now that I look at you I have to say that I get what Erwin was saying. Could you at least try out for the team please ?" Ymir thought about it for a while before agreeing. After all if Erwin thought Ymir would be a great asset to the swim team then why not. 

The day went by rather fast and uneventful after that. Ymir went skipping toward her locker, excited to follow Sasha to the restaurant she had mentioned this morning. She could eat a whole human being with how hungry she was. But when Ymir found a note in her locker her happiness quickly faded. Hopefully it wasn't another threat. 

It was another one of those drawing of Ymir alongside a note :

If you wish to find out who has been leaving these drawings in your locker please come find me on the football field after school. 

- Your secret admirer

Ymir blushed a little, this was it. She would finally know who her secret admirer is. Ymir sent a quick text to Sasha telling her that she couldn't come to the restaurant this afternoon and ran toward the football field. 

She didn't know what she had expected to be honest. She was even ready for her secret admirer to be a boy. She clearly hadn't expected to see Historia sitting on a bench when she arrived on the football field "no fuck no way."

Ymir turned around ready to leave but Historia ran after her, roughly grabbing her wrist "Ymir please hear me out !" 

The brunette turned around clearly unhappy "What ? What do you want ? Why are you leaving drawings in my locker ? Why did you try to kiss me ?! What's your problem with me ?!" 

Historia groaned "I don't know ! I just- couldn't stop thinking about you ever since that time in the toilet ! You keep haunting my mind like a parasite !" Ymir grimaced a little and Historia quickly shook her head "w-what I mean is that... I want you Ymir I don't know why but I feel like I need you.."

Ymir rolled her eyes "The only thing you need is a therapist Historia" the blonde frowned "look you're infatuated, that's not my problem. Well actually yes it is, but I don't want to be associated with you. Besides don't you have a boyfriend ?"

"Reiner... is dating someone else... but since both his mother and my father are homophobic we just say we are dating. I did that so that I could try to see you in secret Ymir..." Historia got closer to Ymir but the brunette backed away "you're... you make me want to break rules and do as I want..."

"If you try to get too close to the sun your wings will melt." 

Ilse was sitting on Ymir's bed reading her a book about Greek mythology. Usually religious books were banned but the priests didn't take Greek or Roman mythology too seriously so it was allowed. 

"Icarus did not listen to his father and got closer to the sun. Until his wings burned and he died a terrible death" Ilse had sighed "do you understand the moral of the story Ymir ?" 

Ymir had shrugged "following our desires is bad ? Listening to adults is better ?" 

Isle had smiled and caressed Ymir's head "yes. You should always listen to adults they know what's best for you." 

Ilse had told Ymir to listen to the adults.

But herself at 16 years old she had tried to escape and got herself killed for that. Leaving Ymir alone.

She had tried to reach the sun but her wings had melted. 

Ymir wasn't sure why this memory was resurfacing now of all times. She reached for Historia's hand and got a bit closer "I can't."

Historia frowned "why not ?"

Ymir groaned "because Historia I can't secretly date you ! I want to date someone that I can proudly hold hands with in public !" 

"We can do that ! Just not in public..." Historia hugged Ymir "please... I never felt that before... that urge to go against my father... I want to keep feeling that sense of... freedom..."

Freedom  

Ymir sighed "can I at least think about it ?" Historia didn't answer she just nodded. She lifted her head and got closer to Ymir, this time the brunette allowed her to get close. Their lips brushed together and Ymir took Historia's cheeks between her hands before finally kissing her. The blonde was clearly more experienced than Ymir which made the freckled girl slightly insecure. 

When Historia pulled away she had a warm genuine smile on her face making Ymir's heart flutter "thank you Ymir.."

"I'll consider all of this on one condition though" Historia waited for Ymir to go on "you have to leave my friends alone okay ?" Historia averted her gaze but still ended up nodding. 

Ymir felt deep down that it was a bad idea, Historia’s wings would melt if she tried to reach for the sun, just like Ilse’s. Ymir didn't want to be the witness of that. But then again who was she to deny anyone freedom ?

✰ ✰ ✰

Ymir was putting on the school's official swimsuit, in the locker room. She was a bit nervous to be trying out for the swim team. She knows how to swim, Ilse would take her swimming at a small lake sometimes. But doubting her capacities was something she did daily. 

The brunette came out of the locker room and looked around. A small blush came on Ymir's face upon noticing Historia in the bleachers. Did the blonde come to see Ymir ? 

"Ugh not you, what are you doing here ?" Ymir turned to Hitch. Of course Historia had come for her not Ymir "don't tell me you're the one replacing Hannah ?" 

Ymir was about to answer when Nanaba came and drapped her arms around both girl's shoulders "Hitch I see you know Ymir ! She will be replacing Hannah for the rest of the year" Hitch glared at Ymir "if she can pass the tests obviously" Nanaba then left to go to the border of the pool, Hitch checked Ymir out, chuckled and then left to go with the other girls. Ymir felt suddenly very self conscious about her unshaved legs. Her gaze unconsciously landed on Historia who was tapping furiously on her phone, the brunette sighed and followed Nanaba.

The tests were rather simple. How long she could stay underwater without breathing, for how long she could swim and how fast etc... she ended up passing the tests without any problems. Nanaba promised her she would sew her name at the back of one of the team's jackets and gift her later. Ymir thought the swim team could be a good enough diversion from all of the stress in her life recently. 

The other girls were all chatting together when Historia walked down the stairs, at first the girls turned to Historia waiting for the blonde, but they all gasped when Historia went to Ymir first, the brunette's heart skipped a beat "you did amazing Ymir" the blonde shyly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and then left to go back to the other girls. Ymir tried to not look too vulnerable but she couldn't help the small blush adorning her cheeks. 

When Ymir went back to the locker room all the other girls had already left or at least that's what she had thought. Hitch slammed her locker door and pushed Ymir against the wall "what did you do to her ? Did you pay her or something ? Are your parents rich ?"

Ymir winced and pushed back Hitch "what the fuck are you talking about ?!"

"Historia !" Hitch was fuming "she hated you a few weeks ago and now she's congratulating you ? What is going on ?!"

The brunette went to her locker just wanting to leave as soon as possible "mind your own business. Historia and I have talked like adults and decided to move on." 

"I call bullshit. Historia never forgive nor does she forget" Hitch yanked at Ymir's still wet ponytail and the brunette slapped her hard in response. 

Hitch dramatically dropped to the floor still holding her cheek "I said mind your own business unless you want me to break that pretty nose of yours" Hitch hissed and left the locker room in a hurry. Ymir exploded into a laughing fit once she had left, she wasn't too proud about having slapped Hitch but it still felt satisfying. 

She remembered Annie's words about Hitch "she's just some nobody who wishes she was Historia, or she wants Historia I'm not exactly sure"  Ymir calmed down a little but she still had a proud smirk on her face when she left the swimming pool. 

Arriving at her locker to retrieve some books, she kind of hoped that Historia would be there waiting for her but instead she only found a really tall boy, Bertolt. The boy smiled upon noticing her "Ymir right ?"

"Yep the one and only" Ymir wondered what he could want, they were in the same math class but they had never interacted before.

Bertolt nervously looked around before asking "Annie talked about you before, you seem nice, and I don't really know anyone else in the math class, I was wondering if you could tutor me ?" 

Ymir's eyes slightly widened, it was true that she had really good grades but she wasn't exactly an honors student. Still it felt nice that he had asked her of all people "I mean sure why not, I have swim team after classes now but right after we can go to that café down the street and study there what do you say ?" Ymir also kind of wanted an excuse to drink some coffee. 

The boy's eyes sparkled of joy "yes that sounds great ! Could we start tomorrow ?" 

Ymir nodded and gave her number to Bertolt. And another diversion added to the list. 

✰ ✰ ✰

The café was crowded but Ymir didn't mind, on the other hand she could feel Bertolt being super tense, maybe the café wasn't such a great place to study. 

Ymir quickly learned that Bertolt was in fact really bad at maths, she helped him with some exercises and now they were having a small break to enjoy some coffee and pastries for Bert. 

Bertolt was the first to break the silence "did you know I used to be in love with Annie ?" 

Ymir raised an eyebrow "really ?" 

The tall boy chuckled and took a sip of his coffee "I always had a sort of crush on her, and when she came out as a girl I really thought it made sense because I was straight. But I think I might be bisexual." 

"You think ?"

He sighed and gently dropped his cup on the table before folding his arms "I ended up having a crush on my other best friend, and he is a boy. I'm still confused about what I am."

Ymir put her hand on top of his to give him some sort of comfort, she was really bad at this "hey you don't have to put a label on your sexuality for now. As long as you follow what your hearts tells you." 

Bertolt smiled "thank your Ymir, and I do follow my heart. Even if it became complicated recently" Ymir raised an eyebrow and Bertolt took this as a sign to continue "we erm... are sort of dating ? But since his mother is really homophobic he doesn't want to publicly date me, and now he's fake dating one of his girl friends to keep his mother from getting doubts. I'm so jealous, I shouldn’t but seeing that he gets to be with her in public infuriates me." 

The brunette nodded, she could relate in a way. 

Ironically a certain blonde suddenly entered the café followed by a muscular blond. Ymir was about to loudly groan or something but Bert beat her to it "oh god it's him... what is he doing here..." 

Ymir's eyes widened, she turned away from the sight of Reiner and Historia greeting other teenagers "you're the one dating Reiner ?!" she whisper shouted. 

Bertolt's eyes comically widened as well "wha- how do you-?" but then realization hit him "oh fuck you're that girl that Historia is trying to get ?!" 

The brunette flushed at that "oh stars if I had known.. oh how ironic this whole situation is" Bertolt nervously laughed and Ymir turned back to Historia, their eyes locked for a moment, then Historia's eyes dropped to Ymir and Bert's hands still linked, the blonde frowned. Ymir smirked, secretly hoping that Historia was jealous. And she realized that she was right when she received a text from Historia ordering her to come in to the Café's bathroom. Ymir excused herself and went in there. 

Historia pulled Ymir in an empty stall and locked it, Ymir's heart was beating way too fast "what were you doing with Bertolt?" Historia asked still frowning.

Ymir bit her lip "I was just tutoring him."

"Yeah with your hand in his. You're not..?"

The brunette caught Historia's worried glance and slightly smiled "I'm a lesbian Historia."

Historia frowned "right. I knew that."

Ymir was about to leave when Historia roughly pulled her close to her and started making out with the freckled girl. Said girl clearly wasn't expecting that and only processed what was going on after a whole minute. This wasn't right, Ymir did not feel love in this, there was only anger, and something else that Ymir could not decipher. When Historia's hands started roaming under Ymir's t shirt that's when the brunette decided to stop this "please. Historia I need some time." 

Historia's eyes widened "what's wrong..?"

The brunette caressed Historia's cheek "I told you I just need to think about it" the blonde nodded and let her go. Ymir quickly left the toilet to find Bertolt on the verge of tears. She noticed Reiner with all these girls around him and sighed. She took Bert's arm "come on let's go I don't want to stay here" the tall boy quickly nodded and packed his books. 

The two walked to the nearest bus stop, Bert lived a bit too far away to walk "thank you for the tutoring Ymir, and the rest.." 

"Don't mention it. We have much more in common than I expected" Ymir smiled warmly at him and when the bus left she stood there waving at the boy. She didn't expect that she would ever relate to a man but here she was. 

When she got home she helped making dinner with Levi, she then put some in a little Tupperware for whenever Erwin would come back home, he had made a habit of staying late at work now. 

That night on the couch watching TV, it was only her and Levi, Armin was playing video games in his room and Mikasa was FaceTiming Annie. She felt relaxed around Levi so it was nice to spend some time alone with him. Eventually she asked "why are feelings so complicated ?" 

Levi raised an eyebrow at that "what do you mean ?"

"I mean... why sometimes we desire stuff that we shouldn't have ?" 

Ymir's foster father thought for a moment and then smiled "that's in the human's nature, we are attracted to danger and forbidden 'stuff'." 

Ymir hummed and turned back to the TV. What Levi had said seemed about right.

Chapter Text

"Oh and do you remember where Armin's epipen is ?" Levi was nervously tapping his foot. 

A tall brown haired person standing next to him groaned "yesss I know ! Now go !" they pushed Erwin and Levi to the door.

Erwin stopped the person with his hand before turning to the three teens standing there "hold on Hange I won't go until I get a big hug from those three !" Levi frowned visibly already irritated by Erwin's voice. 

The three in question nervously smiled before hugging Erwin "can we go now ? I don't want to be late you know I hate that. Stop wasting our time" Levi pulled at Erwin's arm but the blond wasn't budging.

"Oh I'm so sorry I didn't know hugging my kids was a waste of time" said kids cringed a little, Hange gritted their teeth, their left eye was slightly twitching.

Levi scoffed a little "are you being serious right now ? You're barely home and now you're trying to act like the nice parent ?" 

Erwin was about to answer but Hange, who was on the verge of exploding cut him off "okay ! Now go lovebirds ! We have fun activities to do !" They pushed the two out of the house and closed the door, they sighed in relief and went toward the kitchen "what do you guys think of some pizzas for tonight ?" Ymir could still hear Levi and Erwin arguing behind the door, Armin and Mikasa followed Hange as if everything was fine, maybe they were used to Erwin and Levi fighting, they hadn't really talked about it. 

Hange turned out to be a really bad cook, when they asked if the kids wanted pizza they actually meant that they would order pizzas. Ymir kind of wanted to cook the pizzas instead but she was way too intimidated to voice her thoughts. After a few months of cooking dinner with Levi she actually started enjoying it. 

When Hange went into the other room to order pizza, Mikasa remarked that Ymir was being too silent and the brunette simply blushed and looked at the ground. Hange was just really intimidating, it wasn’t her fault.

Ymir was now sitting on the couch with the others watching some boring movie about a zombie apocalypse that Armin had insisted on watching. While the others were focused on the movie, she couldn't help but remember the first time she had met Hange. 

It was around the beginning of November, Ymir had been woken up by a dog licking her face and she had let out a very high pitched scream. The dog who's name she had later learned was Bean had ran off, tail between it's legs, and a tall person came rushing into the room followed by Levi.

"Oh this can't keep happening. Every time I come to visit, you have a new child home." Hange had muttered. They were staring intensely at Ymir making the latter quite uncomfortable. 

Levi had came by Ymir's side, putting his right arm around her shoulders "this is Ymir. Our new foster daughter, I told you about her."

Hange had slowly nodded "right I forgot about your new job. Well welcome to this family Ymir my name is Hange, I am a childhood friend of Erwin and I met Levi in college !" 

Ymir had given a nervous smile to this stranger and Levi had pushed said stranger out the door "now it's still early, let her get ready before you introduce yourself." 

Hange had waved before Levi had finally closed the door behind them. 

The brunette still wasn't exactly comfortable with Hange to this day, maybe it was because this person didn't know what boundaries were. Other than that they were really funny to be around and Armin and Mikasa love them. 

Armin lightly pushed at Ymir's arm pulling her out of her thoughts "your phone keeps vibrating. Someone's spamming you."

Ymir hardly swallowed, she knew who kept messaging her. But she was too nervous to answer. At this hour Historia was most likely sending her texts trying to spark something more intimate.

For some reasons, Ymir had first thought that Historia was some kind of prude, but it was the exact opposite. She keeps on trying to get into Ymir's pants. Gladly whenever the brunette says no Historia stops. It's just confusing to Ymir, her libido isn’t working at all and she never felt horny before. Her old therapist had said that it was probably because during her childhood they kept saying that virginity was important and stuff. But Ymir doesn’t think that this is why. 

Nonetheless, Historia was probably horny right now and Ymir didn't want to deal with that. She also didn't want Armin to accidentally see her conversation and tell everyone that she sees Historia in secret.

What would her friends say ? Secretly dating someone that's been bullying them for the past years. 

Annie would be devastated, she would hate Ymir so much. When she had learned about Historia and Reiner the blonde had a whole breakdown, if she were to find out about her and Historia that would be the end of the world. 

Ymir couldn't afford to lose her only friends for some girl. 

After a few hours, Armin and Mikasa had gone to sleep, it was only Hange and Ymir now. 

Ymir decided to use this opportunity to feed her curiosity "how come Levi asks you to come watch us ? We're almost adults we can take care of ourselves."

Hange giggled at that "heh yeah almost, god I feel old" they gently slapped Ymir's shoulder "I used to watch them as kids whenever Levi and Erwin would go on dates, and it became a sort of tradition so even if you don't need me, Armin and Mikasa still wants me to come" Ymir nodded processing it all "I'm like the cool aunt to them you know. And I hope that I get to become a cool aunt to you too !" Ymir chuckled nervously but Hange didn't pay much attention to that. 

"And how did you all meet ?" Hange raised an eyebrow, inviting Ymir to go on "I mean you said you met Levi through college but how ?" 

Ymir watched as Hange's face went blank, for a second she thought Hange would hit her or something worse. Then Hange smirked and shook their head as they said "I tried to get into Erwin's pants and ended up in Levi's bed instead." 

The brunette frowned, then raised an eyebrow, then nervously smiled, then bit her lips. Her face showed at least a thousand different emotions as Hange's  stayed in the exact same smirk "I'm confused" Ymir finally admitted after a silence that lasted for almost 5 whole minutes. 

Hange leaned back on the couch "we all shared a psychology class together. I at first tried to fuck Erwin 'cause he was hot as fuck, like in high school he was a huge dork, the summer go by and on the first day of school a hottie greets me. Hey have you ever seen him in his 20s?" Ymir negatively shook her head "remind me to show you later. Anyway so I was trying to fuck Erwin and at first Levi tried to fuck Erwin too. But then I don't know… we got drunk at a party and Levi and I fucked. Erwin was upset for a while because he was jealous and he had thought that there was something between us. Then Levi told him that he didn't like me like that, they confessed like idiots and to this day they are still together."

"Were you mad at Levi for getting with Erwin in the end ?"

"Oh god no" Hange snorted "Levi was in love with him, I just wanted to have sex. So it was fine. Besides I found someone else." 

Ymir's eyes lightened up "really ?"

Hange nodded enthusiastically "we're not married. I don't believe in marriage, unlike those two idiots. We live in a house in the forest. His name is Moblit" Hange showed a picture of a brown haired man. He wasn't exactly how Ymir had imagined someone dating Hange, but he seemed happy with them. 

Ymir and Hange kept talking for a while, Hange was really happy to tell the brunette all about their life with Moblit and their dogs. Hange also seemed really anti government, they were Levi and Erwin's friend after all. Ymir wanted to bring up her lack of libido to Hange but thought maybe it was too soon to confide in them. Maybe she'll bring it up to Levi, he would probably have some great advices as usual. 

It was crazy how easy it was for her to trust these people.

After midnight, Levi and Erwin came home slightly tipsy, laughing and hugging each other. It was good to see them in good term again. Hange seemed just as happy to see them like that but didn't say anything about it.

✰ ✰ ✰

The first time she brought it up, was actually to Annie. It was a bit unexpected but Ymir really needed to get it off her chest. 

"I'm kind of seeing a girl. Sort of. She wants to go further with me but I don't think I'm ready yet... Is that normal ?" 

The two girls were laying down on the school's rooftop. Annie stared at the brunette, she took the cigarette out of her mouth to say "you're just not ready, it's fine Ymir. Besides you don't need to have sex to keep a relationship steady." 

Ymir blushed a little "we're not exactly in a relationship yet... but it's not just her. I just, never felt aroused before or anything."

Annie blinked twice before asking "never never ?" 

"Never. I tried, masturbating and stuff. But no never. Am I broken ?" Ymir felt vulnerable but she really needed advices, and Annie was really wise sometimes. 

The blonde thought about it for a moment "maybe you're asexual ?"

"A-what ?"

"Asexual" Annie scratched the top of her head "Connie came out to us as asexual and aromantic during freshman year" Ymir turned to Annie in order to give her her full attention "basically he describes it as not feeling any sexual needs. Though he said that sometimes asexuals can also feel a slight bit of arousal. It's like a spectrum or whatever. Usually I don't listen to him but that was important. Hey maybe you could have a talk with him about it, he gets serious for these types of stuff I promise." 

So, the next day she brought it up to Connie during their history class. And just as Annie said, he got all serious "well I can't tell you for sure if you are ace, that's something you have to figure out for yourself. And it's not just ace, it's a whole spectrum, you could even be demi-sexual."

Ymir's head tilted to the side "what ?" 

Connie sighed, as if Ymir was a dumb child he was tutoring "it means you get horny around someone only if you're very close emotionally speaking." 

"That all seems way too complicated. Maybe my therapist was right and I have ptsd or whatever she said" Ymir crossed her arms atop of her desk and laid her head on them. 

"Uh... if your therapist diagnose you with something pretty sure you should listen to her..?" Ymir didn't answer, she didn't want to tell him that her therapist gave her a thousand different diagnosis and that to this day she still wasn't sure which one was right "and also it's fine Ymir you don't have to put a label on it yet. It took me so long to figure out my sexuality, it's okay to still be unsure of it !" 

No matter how much she heard that it was fine, it didn't help ease her anxiety. 

So, she brought it up to Mikasa and Armin one night which ultimately led to Levi and Erwin intruding on the conversation. 

Erwin patted Ymir's head slowly "you know I didn't lose my virginity until I was 19, it's okay to not be ready."

Mikasa was caressing her left hand "I think Annie is right you know." 

"It's weird how you always think Annie is right" Mikasa let go of Ymir's hand to lightly punch Armin's left arm.

Levi pushed them all away from Ymir "give that poor girl some space. Now Ymir like Erwin said it's fine. Besides, you're only 17, you're still young." 

Ymir wasn't sure what to think of that. 

So, she went to get advices from Marco. They weren't exactly that close but Jean kept telling everyone about how Marco was sooo great at listening and giving advices. 

They were all at Marco's house for the afternoon, the others were outside in the backyard, playing with a bit of snow while Ymir was sitting with him on his couch "everyone keeps telling me it's fine, but I still feel bad for not giving her what she wants."

Marco had an unreadable expression while he was staring at her, it took him 10 minutes to finally open his mouth "maybe you should talk to her about it."

"Who ?"

"That girl you're seeing" right, Ymir forgot about Historia, not really but she forgot that she was 'the girl she was seeing'. Marco put his hand on Ymir's shoulder "if she truly wants to start a relationship with you. First things first you guys need to communicate. It can't work otherwise. Tell her that you're not ready, if she doesn't care, then maybe she wasn't made for you that's it."

Ymir snorted a little "you make it sounds so easy."

The freckled boy shook his head at that "no Ymir. You make it sounds harder than it is in reality, that's all." 

And Marco was right.

At the end of the day, it was easier than what she expected. 

She brought it up to Historia one afternoon after swimming practice. 

"I really try, but I just don't feel comfortable with having sex right now. It's not you it's me I swear. I would understand if you didn't want to see me anymore. Connie and Annie said I might be asexual, but I'm not sure, I don't know. I'm a mess."

Historia put her hand atop Ymir's, the brunette turned her head and blushed a little upon noticing Historia's shy smile "Ymir. It's fine, I just wish you would've told me earlier, I feel like I made a fool of myself..." she scratched the back of her neck "I'm ready to wait for as long as I need to. I really want you Ymir I wasn't joking."

Ymir hugged Historia as tightly as possible, she wasn't sure how long it would last. Soon enough Historia would get tired of her and will replace her. Ymir wasn't that special, there were thousands of girls like her in the world. 

The blonde traced a line up Ymir's arm "I noticed faded scars on your arms in swimming practice today...” Ymir tensed up, no one had brought it up, she had noticed Levi’s gaze on her arms multiple time but he never asked he about it “sorry I didn't want to bring it up but I get curious..." 

She kept tracing her invisible line until Ymir gently took her wrist "it's fine. After I- left where I used to live as a kid, I kept hurting myself, and one night I tried to take my own life, and almost succeeded" Historia squeezed Ymir harder "it was a scary experience, it's like I was dead and they brought me back to life. I decided I wanted to live my life after that, even if it was shitty, I just wanted to be alive. Sorry didn't mean to dump all this on you."

Historia shook her head "no Ymir it's fine, I asked you. What was your childhood like...?"

"I'm not ready to talk about it yet" maybe later, but not now, she still needed to trust her more before unpacking her past. It was too... disturbing. Even Erwin and Levi didn't know. Historia nodded, to Ymir it was weird how that girl could be so mean at school but in reality so nice. 

They kept hugging each other until Historia had to go home. 

When Ymir was ready to walk out of school she was stopped by Annie running toward her "Ymir !!" said girl stopped in her tracks, turning around to see a panting Annie holding a book "I-" she wheezed "hold on sorry I ran all the way from the gymnasium to here" Ymir grimaced at that "I got this for you."

The perks of being a wallflower - Stephen Chbosky 

Ymir took it in her hands "why ?"

Annie smirked "you were questioning your identity. Coming of age books like those actually helped me with my place in society you know, figuring myself out. Oh there are no trans people in this book but it still helped me with being myself. You should read it maybe it could help you !" 

"Isn't that book banned ?"

"Who cares !"

"Right" Ymir almost forgot Annie was anti government "okay then, but I want to give you a book in exchange." 

Annie raised an eyebrow, ice blue eyes filled with curiosity "which one ?"

Ymir smirked "are you into lesbian vampires ?"

"You're speaking my language Ymir."

The brunette laughed and slapped Annie's back "you'll love Carmilla. Once I get home I'll get it back from Mikasa and give it to you as soon as possible."

The two walked toward the exit together. Ymir was really glad that she had a friend like Annie by her side. She hoped their friendship would last long.

Chapter Text

Snow was falling everywhere, December was just starting, high schoolers were all waiting patiently for winter break, Christmas decorations were harboring the streets...

Ymir was really excited for winter break herself considering that they were all visiting Hange for a few days. However she still had to ace her last exams. 

Until then, on a Saturday afternoon, Historia had brought Ymir to her mansion for the first time. Ymir felt extremely poor all of a sudden. It was enormous, the garden was way too big. Historia also said she was alone most of the time, Ymir didn't mind spending more time with her if it meant being in her gigantic mansion. 

She showed Ymir around the house, multiple bathrooms, lots of bedroom, but what marked Ymir the most was the fucking cinema room "do you even use this room ?!"

Historia's shook her head "during freshman year Hitch would come to my house to watch some movies here. But after one night she never came back.."

"What happened ?"

She shook her head "I don't know.. we were having fun that night too. I don't get why she didn't want to come to my house anymore but whatever."

Ymir looked through the pile of dvd's trying to find something good "hey those movies sucks."

Historia frowned and marched toward the dvd shelf "no they don't !" 

"Seriously who unironically likes Romeo and Juliet with Di Caprio ?" 

The blonde pouted at that "you just hate romanticism." 

Ymir scoffed " nuh huh, I love romanticism." 

"Whatever you say" Historia took Ymir's arm and pulled her out of the cinema room. The two ran inside of the house for a little while until they arrived in front of a room with two huge doors "this is my room !" Ymir's mouth was hanging open making the blonde giggle. 

Historia opened the two doors to her room and Ymir was met with the sight of so much pink that she thought she was going blind for a second "that's... a lot of pink.."

The blonde jumped atop her bed "yes ! It's not my favorite color but it's pretty."

Ymir frowned "it's not your favorite ?" she carefully sat on the bed.

"No. But it's girly. My favorite is actually green" Historia was trying not to giggle but was clearly failing. 

Ymir looked around the room, there were no pictures or posters on the wall. Just a few frames of Historia and her father. Only one had Historia with Reiner alone. That room clearly lacked of personality... She didn't dare utter a word about it though. 

Historia stared at her ceiling for what felt like forever until she finally turned around to look Ymir in the eyes "do you know how to cook ? I'm kind of hungry."

"I've been trying out Turkish cuisine lately with Levi's help. I could try" Ymir stood up.

Historia stood up as well and stared at Ymir intensely "why Turkish ? I thought Levi was part French." 

Ymir bit her lip, it had been a few weeks, maybe she could try to open up to Historia now. After all the blonde kept telling her everything about her private life so it was only fair "my mother was part Turkish. So I wanted to connect with that culture." 

The blonde's eyes widened "I didn't know... I mean... being in the foster care I assumed.."

"She died giving birth to me. My big sister would tell me about her though" Ymir's eyes were slightly stinging, thinking about Ilse was always really hard. 

"You have a sister ?"

"Had" Ymir rubbed at her eyes and breathed deeply "she was killed when she was 16." 

Historia stood up and hugged Ymir from behind "do you want to talk about it now...?"

Ymir smirked a little "weren't you hungry ?" 

As if on cue, Historia's stomach let out a loud growl, the blonde blushed "you can tell me about it while cooking...?" 

Maybe it was time to tell someone about what she went through, maybe it will make Historia run away and she won’t have to hide her relationship no more. 

Ymir nodded before leaving the room to go downstairs followed by Historia. Ymir looked through the pantry and decided to cook something called Ezogelin corba, which is basically a soup containing red lentils, tomato paste, fresh tomatoes and onions. Ymir was cutting an onion when she started retelling her childhood :

Aylin Kara, my mother, first got pregnant with my big sister, Ilse Langnar, when she was 17 years old. Her family kicked her out and she went to live with Ilse's father for a few years. Until he freaked out and disappeared one morning. Aylin turned to drugs and alcohol and eventually while trying to get help she stumbled upon a man who told her about a small church that was helping lost women like herself. So she moved there with her four years old daughter. Everything was nice at first, the priest was actually helpful, and Ilse was getting an education even if it was a strict one. 

One day the priest had a vision, god was sending him a child, he needed to find a women to impregnate in order to give birth to said child.  

He chose a bunch of women, my mother being one of them, and had intercourse with all of them. Only my mother turned out pregnant. And nine months later, I was born, but my mother didn't survive the birth. 

I was raised as a god, I was their messiah in a way. 

The only person treating me normally was Ilse. She gave me my name, Ymir, after a giant from the Nordic mythology- 

"If it was a sort of cult, weren't religious books forbidden ?" 

Ymir looked up from the pot "well yeah but they didn't take old religions seriously, Greek, Roman, Norse, those weren’t real religions to them." 

Historia nodded in acknowledgment.

Anyway, Ymir was the first living creature in Norse mythology. Ilse really loved reading about him so she named me after him. She took care of me during most of my childhood, to me Ilse was more like my mother than the women who gave birth to me. 

Other than that I was raised to become the next priestess of the cult, which meant lots indoctrination. Sometimes Ilse would come at night and force me to think about something else, I think she was trying to stop this from getting to my head, but Ilse was always really hard to read so I'm not sure. 

When I was 10 years old I was woken up by a scream. I ran outside to find Ilse's dead body splayed on the ground. Blood still leaking from her head. I remember screaming, and some of the women of the church took me back inside while the priest took Ilse's body to go throw it somewhere. 

This is the last time I saw Ilse. 

The priest said that Ilse had tried to escape so he shot her. 

Two years later, the police came and arrested the priest alongside some other men. I had to go through a psychology test to see how I was doing mentally speaking. And when they deemed me safe. They sent me to my first foster family. 

I remember crying the first night, wishing that Ilse would be there with me. 

To this day I still miss her. Sometimes when I am happy I can't help thinking about her and I feel guilty. Guilty because she's dead and I'm still alive. 

"Ymir..?" 

If she had waited two more years, she would still be here with me. 

"Ymir." 

Ymir gasped when she felt Historia's cold finger on her cheeks. She had been crying and the blonde was wiping her tears she frowned, slightly pushing Historia away "sorry I- I get pretty emotional whenever..." 

"It's fine Ymir. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that..." Historia squeezed Ymir in her arms, if Ymir felt uncomfortable she didn’t mention it. It was fine, Ymir was over it, she barely ever thought about Ilse nowadays, so much that she didn’t write her letters as much as she used to. She had a new family and that was enough for her. Historia was looking intensely at Ymir and the latter felt a few sweat beads rolling down her forehead "I shouldn't.. probably ask what I want to ask.." 

The brunette patted Historia's head "I'm not made out of glass you can ask whatever you want."

Historia nervously tapped her fingers on the counter "you never... I mean... tried to track down Ilse's father..?"

Ymir's eyes widened, no the thought had never crossed her mind before. When the child services workers had first tried to track down her mother's parents they had refused to acknowledge her existence let alone take care of her, but she had never thought about contacting Ilse's father. In fact she had completely forgotten that Ilse's father was somewhere on earth, maybe wondering what happened to his first daughter "you think he would want to let a total stranger in his home for said stranger to tell him that his first daughter tragically died ? Besides he's probably married with lots of children now." 

"You never forget about your first child, at least that's what my father always says" having to hear Historia say stuff like that knowing that she's the youngest of her siblings always feels weird. Ymir is never sure if she should comfort her or not. She decided on going right back to cooking, Historia was hungry after all. 

She served Historia the soup in a bowl "sorry it might not be that good..." 

"It's fine Ymir I'm sure it's great !" and it was, Historia sipped the whole thing and even finished the rest of Ymir's. The brunette was wondering how someone with such a tiny body could absorb so much food " hey uh Ymir.. can I ask you something ?"

"Sure, you don't even have to ask."

Historia fidgeted with her hands "Hitch organizes a party every New Year's Eve.. I was wondering if you wanted to go with me this year ?" 

Ymir's eyes widened "you don't mind being seen with me ?" 

"I mean... Reiner will most likely hang out with his friend during it and Hitch always gets wayyy too wasted, besides I'll give you a makeover before going. Does that sounds good ?" 

Ymir thought about it for a few seconds before making her mind "alright, yeah sure why not." 

Historia jumped and hugged Ymir, all while giggling uncontrollably. 

The rest of the afternoon went by rather fast, they stayed in the cinema room to watch some of the cheesiest romcoms Historia owned. Pretty Woman was playing in the background when Ymir stood up announcing that she had to get home. 

Ymir left, without noticing that she had left her flannel in Historia's room. When the blonde found it she let out a small giggle before smelling it. She jumped on her bed and kept hugging the flannel as if it were Ymir, maybe that would help her sleep better at night.

✰ ✰ ✰

"Ymir don't stay too much on your phone you will get sick." 

Ymir turned off her phone as Levi was scolding her. Armin sitting behind Levi was reading a fanfiction on his phone and obviously since Levi couldn't see him he won't scold him. Mikasa on her left was staring out the window "it's very pretty around these parts, could we go for a walk at least once during our stay ?" as she said this Mikasa kept her gaze fixated on the trees. 

"Of course but don't go and get lost like last time okay ?" Erwin made eyes contact with Mikasa through the rear view mirror. Armin let out a chuckle at that, he had been silent the whole ride, stuck on his fanfiction, honestly Voltron was not even a good cartoon, who would willingly read fanfictions based on it. 

Mikasa crossed her arms over her chest "haha very funny." 

Erwin kept a smirk on his face, Levi turned to look at Mikasa "it's okay Mika things like that happens. Just try to take the map with you this time please." 

Armin snorted and Mikasa glared at him. Ymir wanted to ask them about this but decided that she didn't want Mikasa murdering her in her sleep. Ymir felt her phone vibrate and turned it on to look, Levi was about to say something but Ymir cut him off "I-it's just Annie, I'll answer and then turn it off again I promise."

"Fine but if you get sick you better not throw up in the car" Levi turned back around and huffed, Erwin put his right arm on his shoulder to pat him there. 

Ymir clicked on the notification, she didn't lie when she said that she would turn it off right after, but what she did lie about was that it was not Annie who was messaging her, but Historia. The blonde was showing her different dresses and asked for Ymir's opinion on which one she should choose for Christmas. Ymir stared a little too long at a particular picture where Historia was wearing a forest green dress that went below her ankles, it was just so pretty, green definitely was Historia's color. Ymir told her to choose this one and then turned off her phone. 

They arrived after another 30 minutes of painfully unfunny dad jokes told by Erwin, they were so deep in the forest that Ymir wasn't sure she would be able to find her way back to Hange's house if she were to wander around. They were welcomed by Hange's two dogs, Bean still seemed shy and nervous around Ymir and the brunette felt bad about it. Then Hange ran out of the house to first hug Erwin and Levi, and then the three teenagers. A light brown haired man ran after Hange out of the house "Hange please stop doing that. You're going to hurt yourself" he was holding a pair of sleepers, and that's when Ymir noticed that Hange was barefoot. 

"What ? I've been waiting for hours Moblit you can't expect me to put on shoes before seeing my best friends !" Hange stuck their tongue out and Moblit just sighed and hunched back "now come inside everyone ! We will take your suit cases, let's go Moblit !" the brown haired man followed Hange, still begging them to put on the slippers. 

Erwin and Levi escorted the three teenagers inside the house and showed them to their room. Ymir smiled upon noticing that Hange had added another bed for her. The room was kind of small for three people to share, but Ymir didn't mind, she was more than happy to be apart of a family vacation. 

Ymir checked her phone to see that Historia had sent her more photos of herself with the green dress on, it's weird how now that Ymir knew her a bit better, Historia seemed like the most beautiful woman in the world. 

"Are you texting your girlfriend ?" Mikasa said with a huge smirk on her face, Armin turned and gave Ymir the same smirk. 

Ymir tried to hide her blushing cheeks "no. And besides she's not my girlfriend." 

Mikasa rolled her eyes "please. You're smiling at your phone just like Armin when he is texting those bots" Armin frowned and lightly punched Mikasa's left arm "we're glad that you found someone that makes you happy Ymir. We can't wait for you to introduce us to her !" 

Armin noticed Ymir's face darkening at that and raised an eyebrow. The brunette simply nodded but seemed nervous. Armin decided to change the subject, not only because it was making Ymir anxious but also because he wanted to tease Mikasa a bit "hey how about you ? I heard you skipped class with Annie last week, are you guys fucking yet ?" 

"Hey ! No we're not. We're just very good friends that like to spend time together, that's all..." 

"Hmm sure..." Armin sat next to Ymir and high fived the brunette. 

Mikasa pouted a little and Ymir sympathetically put her hand atop hers "teasing asides, are you guys going to get together anytime soon ?" 

The goth girl scratched the back of her neck "I've been trying to initiate a kiss but... I didn't find the right time yet. I don't want to fuck this up just like with Eren.."

Armin looked away embrassed "pretty sure with Eren it was partly my fault.." 

"Woah what ?"

Ymir looked at the two with eyes filled with curiosity. Mikasa snorted "in 6th grade I wanted to confess to Eren my love. And when I tried to, Armin threw a snake on us. I wasn't scared but Eren started screaming like crazy, he's really afraid of snakes. Anyway when we asked Armin why he did that, he said he was also in love with Eren."

"And what did Eren answer ?" 

"That he didn't want to date any of us" Armin decided to continue "in fact he wanted to date no one. He said that he was scared that it would break our friendship so he wanted to wait at least until college. In the end Mikasa lost feelings for him, and I had a crush on Jean for a few months before returning to Eren." 

Ymir grimaced a little "ewww Jean ?" 

Armin turned entirely red "he is not THAT bad." 

"He used to bully you and you thought it was because he liked you..." Mikasa shook her head "reading fanfictions in middle school was clearly not a good thing for you." 

It was now Armin's turn to pout and Ymir chuckled. She ignored the little voice in her head telling her that she was betraying them somehow.

They ate dinner all together, Hange lightly arguing with Levi about god knows what, Erwin secretly feeding the dogs some of his steak, and Moblit making small talk with the teenagers. The brown haired man was the complete opposite of Hange, Ymir was not expecting that. But whenever Moblit looked at Hange, his eyes were filled with love, Ymir smiled at that but didn't bring it up. However she still asked them how they met. 

"It was in college as well" Hange started, now done with their argument with Levi "just like those two except I shared most of my classes with Moblit, he became my assistant and we got close. Though honestly I would've never imagined myself dating him, we still went on a sort of date one night and now we're together." 

Ymir thought it was weird, but then again it was Hange so it sort of made sense. 

After cleaning everything up the three teenagers went to their room, Ymir was completely exhausted and felt like she could sleep for a few days straight. Before getting in her bed she checked her phone one last time and saw a text that made her heart skip a beat. 

From : <3 

"Goodnight, hope you will have fun at your aunt's house. I can't wait to see you again love you <33" 

It was the first time that Historia said 'I love you'. A wave of shame and guilt washed over her. This couldn't work, Ymir has to break things off with Historia before something goes wrong. 

Ymir had troubles falling asleep that night, and once she did she was plagued with nightmares of Ilse dying, over and over again.

Chapter Text

Ymir looked at herself in the mirror. This, whoever this was, it wasn't her. The hair neatly combed, light makeup adorning the face, the tight red dress showing non existent curves. That person was not Ymir.

"You should put foundation on her arms, people are gonna ask questions" Hitch was sitting on her bed with a bored expression. She doesn't know that the two are seeing each other, Historia just told her that she got closer to Ymir and wanted to invite her to the party. 

Historia studied Ymir's arms filled with faded scars "do you think people will notice ?" 

Ymir was about to answer that people rarely saw them unless they were really close but Hitch cut her off "of course. But then again what do I know." 

The blonde frowned and went to work on covering Ymir's arms in foundation, the freckled girl wanted to comment on the fact that this foundation was not the right skin tone but she opted on staying silent instead. She felt rather upset. When Historia talked about à makeover she was only expecting makeup, not her whole face, clothes, and hair. 

"Come on Historia, you can't fix her she needs surgery at this point" Hitch snorted at her own comment. 

Ymir was about to insult her back when Historia cut her off "I think she looks amazing like that" the blonde gave Ymir a smile that made her forget about her anger against Hitch. 

Hitch frowned a little at their weird behavior "whatever. Let's go I don't want to be late to my own party." 

The three girls went down where Mina, a close friend of Hitch was placing the drinks on the table "there will be alcohol?" Ymir asked, genuinely confused, she had never been to a party before. 

Historia nervously smiled while Hitch simply exploded in a laughing fit, once she had calmed down she gripped tightly Ymir's shoulder making the freckled girl wince in pain "what don't tell me this is your first party ever ?" 

Ymir didn't answer, she figured she had embarrassed herself enough for now. She felt her phone vibrating so checked it for a second. It was a text from Annie telling her that she had been disappointed that she wasn't at home tonight. Right, of course Annie had to choose tonight to come sleep at her place. The brunette did not answer, she turned off her phone and joined Historia on Hitch's huge couch. 

The blonde laid her head on Ymir's shoulder "are you ready for tonight ? If it gets too overwhelming we can step outside whenever you want okay ?" 

"Wait do you usually get overwhelmed at parties ? Why do you keep going then ?"

"Yeah... having so many people here makes me nervous... but you know these types of events are good for the image."

"Right" Ymir frowned and looked away, she didn't like these types of answers from Historia. 

The night had just begun and Ymir could already sense that something would go wrong.

✰ ✰ ✰

Annie put her bag on Ymir's bed, she hadn't brought that many stuff, just her hormones, her pajamas and another hoodie. She knew that Levi had a spare toothbrush for her and that she could use everything else they already had there. 

Mikasa was staring at her from the bed on the other side of the room, Annie decided to ignore her for now and focused on the posters adorning Ymir's side of the wall, as expected it was as gay as the freckled girl, Annie made a mental note to give her one of her anarchist posters just for fun. She picked up a plush resembling a sort of troll "hey, where did she get that ?" 

"I don't know, she showed up with him one day" Annie still wasn't looking at Mikasa, instead staring at the plush "Annie ?" finally the blonde turned around at the mention of her name "does Ymir still speak to you ?"

Annie frowned "what do you mean ?"

Mikasa sighed "I don't know it's... you know sometimes I feel like she's hiding something, like the other day I sat next to her on the couch and she hid her phone, and tonight we don't even know where she is.."

"She didn't tell you where she was ?"

Mikasa shook her head negatively "no, simply said she would be at a party, which is weird because Ymir is usually such a loner."

"Yeah it is weird..." Annie looked at the plush again, it smelled weird, like vanilla, Annie knew the smell but wasn't sure where she had smelled it before. 

Armin barged into the room "are you guys ready for dressing me up as a girl !" 

Annie smirked "I think you enjoy this way too much Armin." 

"Well yeah being a girl is surely way more fun that being a boy" 

"The closet is made of glass" Mikasa snickered at her own joke and Annie giggled as well. 

Armin dramatically sighed "you guys don't understand me."

"Oh please don't pull an Eren and turn emo randomly" Annie put her hand on Armin's shoulder as she says this, with a teasing smile "come on Armin let's give you a makeover." 

"Hell yeah !!" Armin and Annie walked out the door, giggling like idiots. Mikasa stood up and stared at Ymir's bed for way too long, something was wrong, she just hoped Ymir wasn't putting herself in danger. She finally left to join the two blondes as Annie was applying foundation to Armin's skin. 

✰ ✰ ✰

Ymir would be lying if she said she was having fun. Even if she didn't have access to the tv as a kid, she did spend afternoon at Petra's apartment watching movies, this clearly was not like in the coming of age high school movies she would watch. The music sucked, everyone was already drunk and it was only 22:30, someone was selling weed near the entrance, and there was a little group of people sharing a bong, Historia was with them, laughing with a tall brunette, Ymir felt a pang of jealousy but didn't try to do anything, here they weren't girlfriends, they were not even best friends but acquaintances. That did hurt but what was she supposed to do ? She felt conflicted, her head hurt, the music was too loud. 

A blond sat next to her, it was Reiner "'sup" she had planned on interacting with some people from her high school tonight, however Reiner wasn't one of them. Not that Ymir had anything against him, just that she wasn't really sure if they had anything in common besides their homosexuality and Historia "you don't look so good how about we go outside on the porch for a bit ?"

"Oh I don't want to keep you from hanging out with others."

"Meh, my friends are way too drunk, I don't want to deal with it for now, let's go" and he took Ymir's arm, taking her to the porch as promised. 

Breathing fresh air did make Ymir feel slightly better. They sat on a bench, Ymir noticed Reiner holding a beer bottle but not drinking from it "so what's up big guy ? Not a fan of huge crowds ?"

Reiner laughed at the nickname "no not really, I have bad anxiety in these types of event but I still go for Historia, without me before you, she had no one you know."

Ymir frowned "what about Hitch and all the other popular kids ?"

"Maybe Hitch... but the others they are not really here for Historia. The money, the power, this is what's making them stay with her" Reiner sighed and drank a bit from his beer. Ymir could tell that he really cared for Historia. 

"I thought you would've invited Bert, since Historia invited me..."

Reiner sadly looked into the horizon "he's not here. He left to go see his family in Berlin for Hanukkah, and he hasn’t returned yet." 

"Oh." 

An awkward silence followed, Ymir felt like she was suffocating from the anxiety of talking with Reiner, the guy was hard to read, he seemed like a nice outgoing guy, but right now he just seemed empty, like Historia, no wonder the two were close friends. 

Speaking of the devil, Historia came out of the house, barely even able to stand on her two legs, she tried her best to reach for Ymir and Reiner but failed miserably as she fell on the former. Ymir caught the blonde who started giggling in her arms "Reiner ! Ymir ! I've been looking for you guys ! Let's go dance come on !!" 

Ymir looked at Reiner who just shrugged, the two stood up with Historia and walked right back into Hitch's house. She felt like this was a mistake, she couldn’t shake off the feeling that something bad would happen tonight. 

The music was good, so Ymir agreed to dance with Historia. It was hard not to feel ridiculous, Ymir was still completely sober and felt very self conscious about the way she danced. Historia was the total opposite, she put her heart into her ridicule dance, but Ymir could tell she was having fun, or maybe it was the alcohol and drugs making her this happy, Ymir wasn't sure. They were having fun, Ymir finally loosened up a bit after a while and now she was dancing as ridiculously as Historia. As she kept dancing, the world faded around her, this was just Historia and her, no one else. She felt at peace, like nothing could disturb this moment. 

She didn't notice the flash when Reiner took a photo of them. Neither did she notice when Reiner started uploading some pictures on his Instagram. 

✰ ✰ ✰

"Ooh I got a mail saying I just won the new iPhone that just came out how about that ?" 

"Erwin please don't click on the link that's most likely a scammer." 

Erwin frowned at Armin's words "nonsense, this doesn't look sketchy at all."

He was about to click on the link when Levi slammed the computer shut and muttered a "dumbass". 

Annie snickered from her place on the couch, in Mikasa's arms. They were watching The Book of Life, one of Mikasa's favorite childhood movie. As La Muerte made her apparition, Mikasa said in a low monotonous tone "I'd fuck her." 

The blonde blushed and Armin threw a pillow at her "ew Mikasa don't say stuff like that it's disgusting."

"Yes please Mikasa keep those thoughts to yourself" Levi said, his voice filled with exasperation. 

Mikasa giggled making Annie smile a little, she really was head over heels for the goth girl. It was insane really. A few years ago she was so into Pieck that she thought she would never be able to move on, and here she was today, in another girl's arms. 

Pieck Finger was a girl from the summer camp Annie used to go to with Reiner and Bertolt. She was two years older, long wavy raven hair, tired droopy eyes, and the prettiest smile Annie had ever seen. Pieck was like the manic pixie dream girl in Annie's coming of age story. Every boys wanted her, Annie wanted her too. One night during the summer after 7th grade, Pieck had confessed being actually a lesbian. Annie remembered getting back to her dorm that night and screaming into her pillow for hours because of how happy she was. The summer after that one, the two girls had shared a kiss. Annie thought it had been meaningful, until Pieck broke her heart on the last day of summer, by saying something that Annie will never forget :

"Look Annie, you're really cute. But I don't want anything serious with you. You live far away and besides, I love older women. I just can't date a girl that's younger sorry. But I'm sure you'll find someone great one day." 

Annie was sure that that someone would be Mikasa. When she first came to high school after that summer, and saw Mikasa wearing goth clothes for the first time, she knew she had just fallen in love for the second time in her life. Ever since then, Karate and boxing lessons were hard to focus on with the gorgeous girl being near her. When Annie came out as a girl, she had distanced herself from almost everyone. She never found the occasion to reconnect with Mikasa because every time she tried to talk to her no words would come out of her mouth. She was glad that Ymir had entered their life, because of her she had been able to get closer to Mikasa again, and it felt amazing. 

Mikasa repositioned herself "hey Annie is that your phone in your pocket that keeps vibrating ?"

“Well if that was something else that would be embarrassing…” Levi lightly slapped the top of Armin’s head at that.

The blonde frowned, clearly not happy that someone was disturbing her moment of peace. Weirdly it was Connie that was blowing up her phone. Annie would've had just ghosted him in any other circumstances -this isn't the first time that him or Sasha just spam her for no reasons- but when she read the words "Ymir", "Instagram post", and "Hitch's party", her soul momentarily left her body. She sat up straight on the couch leaving Mikasa confused. The texts were saying that Reiner had posted a bunch of posts from Hitch's new year party and that Ymir was in it. 

This couldn't be happening, Annie didn't want to believe it. 

She quickly opened Instagram and typed in Reiner's username. She scrolled until she finally saw a picture of Ymir and Historia dancing together "oh god please tell me this is all a nightmare..." Ymir in her tight red dress looked nothing like the Ymir she knew, for a second Annie even thought that it was somehow Ymir's evil twin or something. 

"Annie what's going on ?" Mikasa turned the phone to see what the blonde had seen and her face drained of any colors. Armin seeing the two girls in chock decided to see as well and just as expected, had the same reaction. 

"Is everything okay kids ? Did something happen to Ymir ?" Levi asked, his tone was monotonous but Annie could tell there was a bit of worry in it. 

Mikasa stood up "that fucking bitch" her hands were shaking "I'm gonna fucking murder her." 

Annie's eyes landed on the picture again. Fuck you Historia Reiss, you don't deserve to be alive you bitch. 

✰ ✰ ✰

Ymir was now sitting on the couch, trying not to fall asleep as she waited for the countdown. Historia was smoking a blunt right next to her, she really hated the smell but having Historia next to her still felt great. 

She considered calling Mikasa just to see if they were having fun without her, but figured that they were probably watching a movie and Armin really hated whenever someone would answer a phone call during a movie. 

Historia finally put down the blunt and laid her head on Ymir's shoulder giggling a little. She whispered "I love you so much Ymir..." and the brunette tried her best not to kiss her right there in front of everyone. 

"The countdown will start in a minute ! I hope everyone is ready !" 

Ymir felt Historia taking her hand slowly, she would be a blushing mess if she wasn't overtaken by the confusion of why the fuck her phone kept vibrating. When she turned on her phone, she saw 10 missed calls from Levi, 13 missed calls from Mikasa, and a bunch of texts from Annie insulting her entire bloodline. Ymir was just so confused until Reiner that suddenly appeared on her side looked at her with side eyes as his phone was resting on his right ear. He put his phone on speaker close to Ymir and the brunette immediately recognized the voice on the other line. 

"Can Ymir hear me ?" 

"..yeah" Reiner hesitantly answered. 

"Okay listen to me you little bitch" even Historia gasped at the insult "you really got me huh ? 'Oh but Historia is so ugly I could never be friends with someone like her' you fucking liar, you lied to me, you lied to your foster parents to Mikasa and Armin, all our friends. So what, did you plan all of this just to make fun of us losers ? Did you get a good laugh out of playing us ?"

"Annie please this isn't.." 

But Annie decided that she didn't want to listen to her excuses and cut her off "shut the fuck up okay ? When Reiner betrayed me, you were there comforting me. Was this all an act ? When you stayed by my side all this time, was this also an act ? Does our friendship mean so little to you that you didn't even hesitate before throwing it all away for some whore ?" Historia frowned at the insult "don't you ever try to talk to me again, you're dead to me okay ?" 

With that Annie hung up, leaving Ymir to hyperventilate. 

"The countdown is about to start !"

Reiner put his hand on her shoulder "Ymir do you need to go outside ?"

"Ten !"

No answer 

"Nine !"

Historia tried to gently touch her arm but Ymir flinched.

"Eight !"

"Historia don't touch Ymir she is not in her right mind at the moment."

"Seven !"

The blonde crossed her arms and pouted a little.

"Six !"

"Historia this isn't about you right now stop being selfish."

"Five !" 

Ymir suddenly stood up.

"Four !"

"Ymir..." 

"Three !" 

Reiner stood up as well

"Two !" 

Ymir was shaking like a leaf.

"..one ! Happy new year !!" 

And bam, Ymir bolted out of the door. She heard Reiner yell her name but she couldn't care less. She couldn't go home, not with Annie being there. And what about the others ? Judging by the missed calls, Ymir was sure that they all hated her now, especially Levi. Ymir felt hopeless, in just one night she had lost her new family. 

She shakily scrolled in her contacts until she found the number she was looking for, she clicked on the call button and waited. It took three rings for the other person to finally answer. 

"Ymir happy new year ! Why are you calling me ?" 

A sob, and another, her tears were making her vision all blurry "Petra.. can you come pick me up... I fucked up.." 

And of course, Petra did come to her rescue. As always.

The next morning, Ymir woke up in Petra's cozy bed. Her eyes were puffy from crying all night and she had a terrible headache. 

"You're awake ? I made some coffee" Petra entered the room "Oruo is in the kitchen I thought you should know."

Ymir rubbed at her eyes "are you guys seeing each other again ?"

"No it's work related I promise" she gave Ymir an aspirin and some water "now tell me what happened okay ?" 

The brunette felt tears coming back to her eyes and frowned "this is so stupid..." Petra took her into her arms to comfort her "there is this girl... that everyone hates because she's basically a bully... and I think I fell in love with her..?"

Petra raised an eyebrow "are you serious right now ?" Ymir did not answer, she tried hard not to break down into a sobbing mess again "you think Erwin and Levi would kick you out for that ?" Ymir nodded, she knew that this was over "come on Ymir. You don't choose who you love, and trust me they know it better than anyone else." 

"But Mikasa and Armin..."

"I'm sure they'll understand. Listen Ymir, I'm giving you a few weeks to stay here, but after that it's either you go back to Erwin and Levi or I'll have to notify the center that they need to find you a new family. You legally can't stay here" Petra gently rubbed Ymir's scalp "do we have a deal Ymir ?"

Ymir thought about it for a while, Petra did have a point, Erwin and Levi were very understanding. She still wasn't sure that they wouldn't kick her out but at least she could try "okay." 

"Good. Join us in the kitchen when you're ready okay ?" Petra kissed Ymir's forehead and left the girl alone afterwards. 

It was true that maybe Levi and Erwin wouldn't kick her out, but she would still lose all of her friends. 

Ymir received a text from a number she didn't know :

From : unknown number 

"Hey Ymir, this is Reiner, His gave me your number. Just wanted to let you know Annie won't stay mad long. Don't worry about it I'm sure she didn't mean any of the things she said."  

Annie.

That's right, if anything Ymir should go apologize to Annie right now. 

She sent a quick text to Annie asking to meet up, she only got an answer after an hour, Annie told her that she finished work at 5 and that they could talk after that. Ymir felt better knowing that Annie was okay with seeing her again. 

So in the afternoon, Ymir was waiting at the back door of the coffee shop Annie worked at. After a few minutes of waiting, Annie came out. And the first thing the blonde did upon seeing Ymir was slap her really hard. Ymir almost fell on her butt because of the strength of the slap "what ? Did you expect me to forgive you or something ?" 

"Annie please you have to understand..-"

"Understand what ?!" The blonde's loud voice echoed in the staff parking lot  "that you were pretending to be my friend all this time and that now you're scared of being alone ?!" 

Ymir whined a little, she felt so helpless right now, expressing her feelings wasn't exactly something she usually did "Annie.." 

The blonde had so much anger in her eyes, it only intensified every time Ymir opens her mouth "you should be ashamed of yourself-"

"Historia is the girl I've been seeing !"

"...what...?"

Ymir sighed and stood up straight "we've been dating for the past couple months."

Annie's eyes widened "but.. I thought..."

"You know, she's gay but in the closet because of her dad. She's only 'dating' Reiner because he is secretly dating Bert."

"He's what..? How come I didn't know any of this ?!" 

Ymir fidgeted with her hands "I fell in love with her... I thought you would hate me for this..."

Annie's gaze softened, she put her hand on Ymir's shoulder "oh no Ymir... you can't control who you fall in love with..."

The freckled girl tried to keep her tears from spilling "I swear Annie I didn't want to hurt you like that..." 

The blonde hugged Ymir tightly "it's okay Ymir, you should've just told me but I don't blame you.." 

She couldn't take it anymore and started sobbing again, she just felt so relieved that Annie wasn't mad no more. 

Annie wiped some of the tears that had fallen out of her eyes as well "you truly are one of my best friends Ymir, I hope you know that I love you."

"I love you too" Ymir kept Annie's hand in hers as they walked to the nearest bus stop. 

"Oh and by the way me and Mikasa fucked on your bed." 

"WHAT ?!"

Chapter Text

Rod Reiss wasn't a good father. 

Everyone knew with the Frieda incident that he definitely wasn't. And that was a huge problem to Rod. 

Rod Reiss didn't care about his family, but he did care about his reputation. 

For conservators, family was important, and Rod knew that when his ex wife got full custody of his children, it was over. 

That is until he remembered that he had another daughter…

He had an affair with a hot maid a few years back and bam she was pregnant, at the time he just got rid of her because he didn't want anyone knowing of his affair. 

Obviously after he lost all his children, he decided to get back Historia, Rod sent someone to kill her mother and then he took Historia to his home, gave her back her old name and taught her everything about how to be the perfect daughter. 

The plan seemed easy enough. 

Until something went wrong. And that something was his daughter's homosexuality. 

When Frieda had started showing homosexual tendencies, a bit of conversion therapy helped. But with Historia it almost seemed hopeless. He found in his little girl's room a bunch of drawing of the same girl over and over again, an Asian girl, not even white, Asian. This couldn't be happening. So he paid the conversion therapy he had sent Frieda to in the past, and told them to work as fast as possible on Historia. And when the blonde brought home her first boyfriend, Rod was over the moon. 

So obviously, upon noticing that Historia kept bringing home a girl that didn't really look white, Rod wasn't too happy. The girl was wearing girly clothes and everything but something was wrong and Rod could sense it. He was very smart after all.

Sometimes it was their hands accidentally touching, or the little smiles and blushes, or the fact that Reiner was rarely home now that this girl was there. He would also catch her manspreading on his couch a lot. There was something going on, and Rod wasn't about to let that interfere with the elections. 

"So, 'Ymir' what field do your parents work in ? Do they make a lot of money ?" Rod was sitting in his arm chair in the living room, the poor Ymir was just standing in the doorway waiting for Historia to come back with her bag. This was the perfect opportunity for Rod to see if the girl would be a problem or not. 

Ymir nervously fidgeted with her hands, showing that she was hesitating in telling the truth, interesting "they have... really important jobs..."

"How important ?" 

The brunette was sweating now, she wasn't prepared, probably hadn't expected these types of questions "like really important... they make lots of money yeah..." 

Rod was about to ask more when Historia appeared in the doorway "come on let's go Ymir ! We don't want to be late to your swimming practice !"

"Your friend is in the swim team ?" Rod raised an eyebrow at that, most people who join sport teams in high school are just doing it in order to get a scholarship, so maybe this Ymir girl was lying about her parents making lots of money, with how skinny she was there was no way that girl liked doing sports in any way. 

"Yes ! You know with Hitch ! They're good friends you know !" Ah Hitch ! What a polite and well mannered teenage girl. With a surgeon father and lawyer mother, what else could we expect from a daughter with such parents right ? If Ymir was truly friends with her then maybe Rod was wrong ? No. Rod Reiss was never wrong, Historia is doing that thing where she bites her lips if she's lying "now let's go ! Goodbye father !" 

However the brunette was frozen in place and looked mortified, Historia had to pull her out of the doorway. 

Something wasn't right, and Rod wasn't going to let anything compromise the elections.

✰ ✰ ✰

"Are you feeling nervous ?"

Levi and Ymir were standing in front of the school's pool where Ymir's first swimming competition will be held. Ymir looked at Levi and smiled a little, he really wanted to accompany her "kind of, what if I make my team lose ?"

"Nanaba won't stop praising you so I don't think that will be the case" Levi had a small smirk on his face, it made Ymir even happier.

The brunette looked at the entrance to the pool and sighed in contentment "I think I'm ready to move back home." 

Home.

Levi slapped her playfully on the back "we missed you a lot you know ? But I think this little break was beneficial for you. You know we don't hate you right ?"

Ymir smiled, she felt tears forming in her eyes "yeah. Now I know." 

The brunette was first greeted by Nanaba and then by the rest of her team, surprisingly enough she even got along with Hitch, that was a first. 

They were against a private school, one known in the entire state for their amazing swim team, Nanaba kept telling her that she would do amazing, but somehow she was scared of failing. 

Historia will be in the bleachers, Levi and Erwin too, and all her friends. 

Maybe Ilse was watching too from wherever she was. 

Failing was not an option. 

The competition was going great so far, Hitch was this school's star player and she did amazing against the other school, the other girls of the team did amazing as well. As time went by Ymir felt more and more like there was something wrong, she wasn't sure what though. By the time that it was her turn, there was a tie, which meant that Ymir winning would make her entire team win. It seemed rather easy, until Ymir saw her opponent. 

Star player of this school's swim team, yellowish-orange hair styled in a loose braid that she was currently stuffing in her swimming cap, slightly tanned skin, small scar on her face, muscular build. Ymir's body looked frail and weak next to that girl. 

Hitch leaned in close, her wet hair tickling Ymir's shoulder "they call her 'The voyager', you know why ?" Ymir shook her head negatively "it's because of her ability to swim long distances without breaking much of a sweat. Her stamina is extremely sustainable. In other words, she's going to eat you alive. Though I fear you might enjoy it you freak."

Ymir's horrified face turned to Nanaba "why didn't you put her against Hitch ??? This is my first competition and I'm already about to die !" 

"Don't be dramatic, I believe in you, and for your information I put you against her because of something Erwin said" oh of course it's always because of Erwin. Ymir enjoys all the praise she receives every time her foster father talks about her to other people but she wishes he would shut up sometimes "he commented on your ability to stay in the water without breathing for a long time and I believe it's our key to win this competition."

The brunette frowned "didn't you hear Hitch ? She's a lot better than me in this field so it's over !" 

Nanaba turned her attention to Hitch "how long can she stay under water ?"

"Around two minutes I would say ?"

"How long until you pass out Ymir ?" 

"..I can go for three.." 

Nanaba's face lit up "see ? We can do it Ymir come on ! I believe in you, we all do ?" Hitch rolled her eyes at that which made Nanaba frown "yes. All of us. Now go Ymir don't be intimidated by that girl, put those long legs of yours to good use and we should be good !" 

She slapped Ymir's back and pushed her toward the pool, Ymir prayed to whatever god was out there that if they lose the competition, no one would hate her. 

Her opponent was getting in position next to Ymir, she grinned showing sharp teeth to the brunette who felt like she would be dead by the end of this competition. She drowned out the commentator's voice as he made a joke about needing two Ymir to fit in one of her opponent and looked down at the water, it didn't feel as welcoming as when she was a child. Ymir looked back up at the sky, hoping that somehow, Ilse was watching. 

"You're an amazing swimmer Ymir !" 

The little girl giggled as she swam back to the shore "it comes naturally I can't really explain it." 

Ilse gently put her hand on Ymir's head and smiled "that's good, one day maybe you'll become the best swimmer in the whole world who knows.." 

Best swimmer of the state seems like a good way to start. 

When it was time for her to dive in the water, Ymir inhaled as much air as she could. 

And there she was, going as fast as she could, the cheers of the people in the bleachers were drowned out by the water splashing her ears. At first she was going as fast as the girl, until she started going a lot faster and Ymir was now one lap late. She mentally whined as she tried to get faster but her head coming back up to breath was slowing her down. Ymir thought back on what Nanaba said, she was right, her ability to hold her breath for a long time was helping but not enough. 

An idea hit her, it seemed rather crazy but she could try to hold her breath for four minutes. It was risky considering Ymir could black out and drown, but she needed to win.

For Ilse.

For her foster family. 

Her family. 

Holding her breath longer was a success, Ymir went faster and she got closer to pass the other girl. The brunette decided to hold it for a few seconds longer than four minutes and felt herself getting lightheaded but her arms and legs weren't stopping. 

When the time was out, Ymir was one lap in advance. Making her school win the competition. Ymir had trouble coming out of the water, Nanaba had to dive in the pool to retrieve Ymir because her body was barely responding. Her head was pounding as she was trying to regain her breath, laying on the ground as Nanaba was jumping excitedly about Ymir winning. When Ymir felt better she tried to stood up but she was tackled into a group hug by the girls of her team. 

"Ymir I can't believe I'm saying that, but I love you so much right now" Hitch was also in the hug making Ymir smirk. 

As the girls finally let her go she was approached by Erwin and Levi "see I told Nanaba you could do it !"

Ymir decided not to mention that she was on the verge of passing out "thank you guys for believing in me.. it means a lot."

Levi patted Ymir's shoulder and gave her a small smile "we're a family after all." 

A photograph for the local news paper stopped in his track "are you the parents of our big winner ?" 

Erwin and Levi looked at each other and then back at the photograph "yeah we are" said Erwin with a proud look on his face. 

"Would you mind answering some of my questions oh no wait can I take a picture of you three first ?" 

"Yeah sure why not" Levi put Ymir in between him and Erwin and then the photograph took their photo. 

As the photographer was asking Erwin and Levi some questions Ymir was approached by all her friends who came to cheer on her. Yes even Jean who kept groaning at the idea of spending his Saturday afternoon there.

"You were amazing out there ! Going so fast we could barely even see you !" Sasha was shaking Ymir's right arm.

"Literally Ymir you were like Sonic the Hedgehog but ten times better !" and Connie was shaking her left one. 

Eren put his arm on Ymir's shoulder "you have to teach me. How to be cool like that." 

Ymir snorted "oh but my brother Eren, you are already the coolest one here." 

The two teenagers giggled at their inside joke. Ymir calmed down a little when she saw Historia from the corner of her eyes, the blonde had stayed on her seat. Ymir tried to sign her to come down but Historia shook her head and pointed at the photographer. It made the brunette slightly upset to know that Historia still didn't want to be seen with her but whatever. 

"You know... we should all go to my favorite restaurant to celebrate this..."

Jean cringed a little "ugh isn't that where your little boyfriend works ?"

"That's the thing ! He isn't her boyfriend ! She's been playing this poor boy for free food this whole time !" 

Connie lightly pushed Sasha and she lightly pushed him back "I am not playing him ! He offers me free food that's all ! You want me to break his poor little heart by declining his food ?" 

Mikasa interrupted the two right before Connie was about to jump on Sasha "actually Erwin and Levi had a little surprise for you Ymir." 

Said Ymir looked back at Mikasa with a dumbfounded expression "for me ?"

"Pfft yeah we weren't sure if you were going to win but you know it's your first competition so we wanted to surprise you" Mikasa took Annie's hand gently "Annie also helped with choosing the gift." 

And it definitely was one hell of a surprise. 

When Ymir arrived in her room followed by Petra with her bags, she was met with the sight of a new furniture in her room filled with only three books. She looked back at the others at the entrance with a small smile on her face.

Mikasa sat on her bed and pulled Annie with her "we were brainstorming ideas for a gift and Annie gave us the idea to buy you something to store your books."

"You don't have that many books for now but we will make sure that it will be filled soon enough !" Annie smiled and put her head on Mikasa's shoulder. 

"You didn't have to... it's amazing thank you..." Ymir tightly hugged both Erwin and Levi, Mikasa, Armin and Annie all joined the hug after. 

It seemed like everything would be alright for now.

However, Rod Reiss would put his career above any of his children. 

And one Wednesday, he saw the two girls hanging out in the living room and took the opportunity to fix things once and for all. 

He slapped last Sunday's news paper on the table shutting up the two girls "congratulations on your victory Ymir, it's really impressive." 

Ymir stared down at the news paper, the picture of herself alongside Erwin and Levi mocking her "thank you..." 

Rod smirked a little "are those your parents ? They are homosexuals ? Also they don't seem like the type to make a lot of money... did you lie to me Ymir ? Historia ?" 

But Ymir was frozen in place, unable to open her mouth to defend herself. Historia though, did not hesitate to lie some more "it's not her fault ! It's her foster parents she can't choose them ! She lied because she was ashamed of them..." Ymir's eyes widened and turned to Historia with a horrified look, how dare she say something like that. 

"Is your friend Ymir a lesbo ? She looks like one, their homosexuality could've rubbed off on her."

"No Ymir isn't ! She would never be a dyke she's not one of those people I promise ! In fact..." Historia nervously laughed "she's dating Reiner's best friend, Bertolt ! Right Ymir ?"

Historia was tugging at Ymir's t shirt to get her to answer, but Ymir couldn't wipe that horrified look off her face. How could she say something like that. And the way she said it too... so full of hate... 

How did she let that happen to her ? She never wanted to date someone that was ashamed of her. She always made fun of those lesbians that would let straight girls play with them. And now here she was, letting her closeted girlfriend call her a slur. Ymir had officially earned the title of pathetic loser lesbian.

"That's not true..." 

The blonde frowned "..what ?" 

 "I said that's not true !" Ymir slapped Historia's hand away and turned to Rod "she's been lying to you ! I am a lesbian and I am not ashamed of my foster parents ! But you wanna know what's funnier ? Your daughter is the biggest dyke ever so worry about your own family you fucking asshole !" Ymir stomped out of the house angrily. 

Historia ran after her "Ymir ! Ymir please don't go I'm sorry !" 

Ymir turned back around, eyes filled with hatred "oh you're sorry ? That's funny, I don't believe it at all. You know what I believe though ? You're scared of being alone so you want me to stay huh ?" Historia looked away "that's what I thought. I told you that I was not there to be your first lesbian experience ! Now if you want to keep acting like the perfect straight girl then find yourself another dumb bitch. But forget about me" she hesitated before adding "you Regina George wannabe." 

When she was gone, Historia returned back to her house and slowly closed her door. She was met with the sight of her father waiting for her "you don't trust her right..? She's lying I'm not..-" 

"I know Historia. She's just some poor girl after all she lies for attention..." Historia looked down at her feet, feeling ashamed "you know it's your birthday in a few days. How about we go see my friend that helped you with your 'problem' a few years ago huh ?"

Historia swallowed hard and nodded "yes... I need help..." 

"Oh my poor baby.." Rod took Historia in his arms "what have they done to you... they infected you... but worry not my darling we can fix you again I promise..." 

The blonde broke down and hugged her father tighter. 

Rod Reiss was a good father. 

At least to Historia he was.

Chapter Text

It was a morning like the others in the Ackerman-Smith household. Mikasa taking her sweat time in the bathroom while Levi has to force Armin in it. Mikasa taking her coffee black while Armin drinks his chocolate milk. Yes everything was in order.

Wait, this isn't right, someone is missing. 

"Ymir was feeling unwell this morning she doesn't want to go to school" Mikasa kept sipping her coffee. 

Levi frowned looking up at the stairs "that's weird, first she comes back home crying and now this... did she tell you anything ?"

The goth girl negatively shook her head "I tried but she didn't want to talk." 

"I'm gonna go talk to her, don't be late for school you two" Levi quickly left to get upstairs. He knocked once on Ymir's door, no answer "Ymir this is Levi can I come in ?" he heard a muffled yes and entered the room. He was assaulted by the stench coming from Ymir's bed "ugh did you kill someone in here" Ymir just turned her back to Levi and groaned. He sat on her bed and put his hand on her shoulder, the brunette flinched under his touch "talk to me Ymir, this isn't like you to act that way.." 

A long silence "..I broke up with Historia."

"Oh" Levi scratched the back of his neck "what happened ?" 

Ymir turned around, she looked like death "I was just tired of being used for her lesbian fantasy or whatever." 

Levi gently caressed Ymir's cheek "maybe she wasn't the one... you will meet a girl one day that will make you way happier I promise."

"But I don't want another girl ! I wanted her !" Ymir sobbed and hid her face under her pillow. 

Levi remembered something Hange said about the first lesbian relationship always being messy. He considered calling them for a second but decided that he would handle it himself. He ran his hand through Ymir's greasy hair and cringed a little "look Ymir, a break up is always hard but it will get better I promise ? Let's go take a bath you will feel better, you can stay home afterwards okay ?" Ymir slowly nodded and smiled a little. Levi left the room to go run a bath for Ymir, on his was out he ran into Erwin "ugh look where you're going Erwin."

He was going to leave for the bathroom but Erwin held him back "Levi someone called for you on the phone..." 

"Huh ? Who ? Can't they just call me on my cell phone ?" Levi raised an eyebrow in confusion. He didn’t spend so much money on this flip phone for people to call him on the landline phone instead.

"It was Kenny."

Levi's eyes widened "Kenny. Like Kenny my uncle ?" Erwin nodded, a nervous look on his face "what did he want ?" 

"He said he wants you to call him back."

"Hmph alright go run a bath for Ymir please she's gonna stay home today" Erwin nodded and Levi gave him a little peck on the lips "I'll go see what the old man wants." 

He went down the stairs to the living room, Mikasa and Armin had already left for school, and called the last number registered on the phone. It rang a few seconds before an unfamiliar voice answered "hello ?" 

Levi frowned "is this not Kenny Ackerman ? Did I call the wrong number ?" 

A silence "oh you must be Levi hold on" Levi heard some muffled voices in the background until another voice could be heard "Levi ! You're still with that posh prince I'm surprised."

"Yes you were invited to the wedding and you never showed up remember." 

Levi heard Kenny laugh loudly and grimaced "yeah sorry about that I guess. I actually had good news to tell you." 

"Of course. You're calling me to talk about you."

"Oh don't be like that runt. It's important" Levi rolled his eyes, last time he said something was important he actually needed 100$ for some drugs "I quit being a criminal !" 

Levi's eyes widened "really ??"

"Yeah and I'm clean too" Levi's jaw dropped "so I reconnected with an old friend. We got married around a year ago, and I decided to stop living a criminal lifestyle. So what about you and the posh prince ?" 

"Hold on please. You got married.? Who would even want you ?" 

A long silence "ok wow fuck you first of all. And second of all someone that's much better than your ugly husband."

"I don't think so. Erwin is superior to anyone, so whoever is your husband I bet he sucks ass."

"I will come and strangle you to death if you don't-" Levi heard some muffled voices in the background again, and then Kenny sighed "okay I'm sorry Levi. I really want to reconnect with you though."

"You abandoned me."

"It's been like 50 years you should move on."

Levi groaned "I'm 35 it couldn't have been 50 years ! Take this seriously !" Erwin appeared behind him and embraced him from the back, it made Levi relax a little "if you're being genuine with your apology then I can try to forgive you but otherwise you can go die in a ditch for all I care."

"Yeah. I am serious Levi, I really want to reconnect with you, and my husband wants to meet you."

Erwin gave Levi a little nod of approval and smiled "ok, then we can try to see when we are free to meet up."

"Thank you runt. Have a great day" Kenny hung up after that. 

Levi sighed, Erwin gave him a little peck on the shoulder "are you okay ?"

"I don't know, I guess it feels weird" Levi gave him a sad smile "until now my family was you, the kids and Hange. I don't know how to feel about reconnecting with Kenny."

Erwin gave him a few more pecks close to his neck "we don't have to schedule anything for now, take your time my love." 

Levi tried not to giggle as Erwin kept kissing his neck until he felt something against his ass "did you. Did you get excited talking about Kenny.?" 

"No. You know how horny that makes me seeing you so angry..." Erwin let his hand wander down toward Levi's zipper "I could call in sick and spend the day with you how about that...?" 

"I don't think so" Levi grabbed Erwin's hand and pulled it away "you forgot someone else called in sick today, speaking of which did she get in the bath ?" 

Erwin groaned "yes and we have a whole hour before she gets out of the bath we could go for a quick one." 

Levi pulled away "your quickies always turn into 'let's spend the whole day in bed', now go get ready for work before I cut your balls off." 

"Okay. But you better prepare that ass for when I come back after work" Erwin snorted before leaving for the kitchen. Levi shook his head with a small smile. 

He gave Erwin a passionate kiss before the blond left for work. After that he waited until Ymir came downstairs, her wet hair being a confirmation that she took a bath. He patted the spot next to him on the couch and Ymir sat down "you want us to watch one of your favorite dumb movies ?" 

Ymir gave him a small smile "thank you Levi I appreciate it."

Levi patted her shoulder "it's normal, but don't think you won't be helping me with chores after that" Ymir let out a small chuckle. 

She truly felt like a daughter to Levi.

✰ ✰ ✰

Grieving her past relationship with Historia was a lot harder than she thought it would be. 

Especially when she's surrounded by happy couples. 

Ymir and her friends were out in that restaurant that Sasha kept telling them to go to. A blond waiter kept flirting with her and it was annoying Ymir to no end. 

"You know I could ask my dad to give you all a free meal today haha, I'm sure he won't mind." 

Sasha was twirling her hair and slightly hiding her face as if she was embarrassed "you don't have to Niccolo" she let out a giggle that seemed unreal.

Ymir could see Connie fuming from the corner of her eyes "oh it's nothing really ! It's on the house ! I'll bring your food as fast as possible I promise !" Niccolo left.

"Honestly aren't you ashamed of yourself ?" Connie asked, his arms crossed over his chest. 

Jean smirked and slapped Connie's shoulder "hey if someone who's father owned a restaurant had a crush on me I would exploit it too" Marco gave Jean a worried look and it made him panic a little "err I mean you know I love you Marco right ?" 

Eren choked on his water "YOU GUYS ARE DATING NOW ?!" 

"Yeah dumbass we made an announcement like a month ago."

"Bold of you to assume I follow you on Instagram" Eren scoffed.

Mikasa put her hand on Eren's shoulder "you do follow him on Instagram though."

"Yeah well I don't look at this fatass’ fucking posts !" 

Connie shook his head "the only fatass here, is Sasha because playing a poor guy just to get free food is insane to me" Sasha gasped dramatically and throw a bit of bread at Connie.

Mikasa stood up "if you all don't stop fighting I will take personal care of every single one of you did I make myself clear ?" Everyone quickly nodded "good."

She sat back down and Annie put her head on her shoulder "that's hot when you get angry." 

Eren stuck his tongue out as if he were about to throw up "ew don't do that in front of me please." 

Annie stuck her tongue out as well in a playful way "just say you're homophobic." 

"If I were homophobic I wouldn't hang out with you gays ! No one is straight here it's crazy !"

Jean let out a laugh before saying "even you can't be our token straight." 

Ymir drowned out the rest of the fight and looked down at her feet. She should've stayed home, she wasn't ready to go out with her friends again. 

Someone put their hand on her shoulder and she looked up to see Annie giving her a worried look, Ymir gave her a small smile and looked away, she didn't want her friends worrying for her either.

As painful as it was that date to the restaurant wasn't that bad, she also got to spend some good time with her friends. 

The days following this one were constant reminders of how lonely she was. 

She tried to avoid hanging out with Annie and Mikasa, having to witness them being all lovey dovey was driving her insane. 

One night she was having a movie night with Armin and Eren, and the moment she started noticing little touches and blushes, she left for her room and cried for an hour or so. 

Another day she was hanging out at the library with Marco, Jean, Connie and Sasha. She watched in despair as the two former kept flirting, she wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh because flustered Jean was funny or cry. 

Connie cleared his throat as Jean was trying to kiss Marco "we should probably leave you two lovebirds alone." 

Marco blushed a little "oh we will stop I promise !" he tried to lightly push away Jean.

Connie punched Sasha's arm and she gasped a little, as if she was remembering something "oh my god I forgot I need to go fetch my sister at school ! Can you guys accompany me ?" she pointed at Ymir and Connie.

"Yes of course we can ! Let's go Ymir !" Ymir raised an eyebrow as Connie pulled her up "goodbye guys !"  

"Oh goodbye" Marco waved his hand, a bit confused as well.

Ymir let herself be dragged out of the library "you guys didn't have to do that you know I didn't mind."

Sasha snorted "oh you know we don't like hanging out with them when they act like that either. And I really need to go fetch my sister." 

Connie leaned in close to Ymir "be grateful we don't have to go fetch my siblings." 

"Are they that bad ?"

"Oh my god yes ! But they're cute so I forgive them" Sasha giggled as she kept leading the small group.

"Ugh speak for yourself."

After a few minutes of walking, the three teenagers arrived in front of the city's middle school. They waited until a short blonde girl walked out of the gate, the girl smiled upon noticing Sasha and ran in her arms "Sasha !!" 

"Kaya ! Did you spend a good day at school ?" Sasha hugged back her little sister.

Kaya smiled brightly "yes !" she turned her face to Connie and Ymir and hid her face a little, feeling shy. 

Sasha laughed a little "no need to be shy Kaya, you know Connie and this is just my friend Ymir, I told you about her remember ?" 

The little girl nodded and smiled at the two teenagers "aww she's so cute" Ymir always wanted a little sister to take care of. 

"Kayaaa !!" a little brunette called out Kaya's name, she was waving frantically, Ymir was smiling until she saw who had come to pick up the little girl. She made eyes contact with Reiner for a few seconds and then she looked away. 

Connie noticing that something was wrong decided that it was time to go do something else "come on let's go get some pastries at the bakery around the corner." 

They all left and Ymir felt her heart tightening. She had to stop thinking about Historia, it just hurts too much. 

Sasha bought a croissant for Kaya and a coffee to the other two "sorry Ymir, I didn't know he would be there, he rarely comes to pick up Gabi usually."

"Yeah I heard the teachers had to call multiple times the parents because Reiner was supposed to come pick her up but never showed up" Connie shook his head "when parents entrust you with the mission to take care of children you have to take it seriously." 

Kaya frowned a little "Gabi said Reiner was very sad recently."

Sasha raised an eyebrow "did she tell you why ?"

The little blonde shook her head negatively "no. Do you want me to ask her again tomorrow ?" 

"No don't worry Kaya" Sasha gently kissed the forehead of her sister. 

Another thing that made her grieving a lot harder was Historia herself. 

The blonde kept leaving little drawings and notes in her locker, it was pissing Ymir off. 

She would follow her around sometimes, not engaging in the conversation she would just, hide in a corner and spy on her somehow. 

One afternoon after swimming practice, Hitch came up to her in the locker room. 

"Can you please give Historia another chance. She's so depressed it's annoying."

Ymir raised an eyebrow "did she tell you ?"

Hitch rolled her eyes "yeah, but I also had some doubts. Listen Historia has some pretty dirty stuff on me so I wouldn't tell everyone this."

"Like what ?"

"You don't want to know."

"Well you got me curious" Hitch just kept staring at her with a neutral expression, Ymir sighed at that "I don't want to talk to her. Did she tell you how she treated me ?"

Hitch roughly grabbed Ymir's arm "yeah and she also told me that you called her a lesbian in front of her deadbeat father" her hold on Ymir's arm tightened "now he's planning to send her to conversion therapy as soon as possible."

Ymir's eyes widened "wait what...?" 

"What did you think would happen huh ? Not everyone is lucky enough to be surrounded by open minded people !" Hitch let go of Ymir's arm "you're pathetic. What did you think the world was a fairytale ?" Ymir rubbed at her arm, she felt tears prickling at the corner of her eyes "I feel sorry for you." 

Even when she was in her bed she just couldn't find sleep. Even the comfort of her blankets did not help. Her gaze turned to her But I'm a Cheerleader poster and she felt her stomach twisting. This movie was a comedy, Ymir just couldn't imagine what an actual conversion camp looked like. Looking to her right she saw that Mikasa was sleeping. She stood up and went downstairs, and as expected Levi was watching a documentary on the TV. She sat down on the sofa next to him and stared at the TV. Levi didn't comment on why she was up at 1 am and offered her a bit of the blanket he had on him which she accepted. 

It took her at least 30 minutes but she managed to open her mouth, her throat felt dry "is outing people a bad thing..?" 

Levi frowned a little "yeah. It is." 

Ymir was shaking a little, this was bad "what if it's accidental...?"

"What did you do ?" 

The brunette felt some tears forming in her eyes "you know when I broke up with Historia... I called her a lesbian in front of her father.. and Hitch said her father wanted to send her to conversion therapy... I'm such a terrible person..!" Ymir broke down, hiding her face in her knees. 

Levi put his hand on her shoulder "please Ymir you are not a terrible person I promise" Ymir wiped at her eyes and looked at Levi, he sighed a little before confessing "you know how Hange is non binary ? Well their parents didn't know. And when we went to eat dinner at their house once I called Hange 'they' by accident. Hange fought with their parents that night and they went no contact ever since. I felt so terrible because I thought it was my fault."

"Was Hange mad at you..?" 

He shook his head "no. They reassured me and told me that it was already complicated with their parents, that even if I had not made that mistake it would've exploded between them at some point. Do not blame yourself Ymir, you were angry, you did not want to hurt her" he took the brunette in his arms. 

Ymir felt safe in his arms, Levi truly felt like her father, she wished he was her biological father. 

She stayed in his arms until 2 am when Levi decided to finally go join Erwin in bed. Ymir kept watching the documentary for a while before ringing a certain number "didn't think you would answer so late at night, are you okay ?"

"Reiner's been worried sick these past few days, it keeps me up at night" Bertolt sighed "I'm just scared he's going to do something stupid. But are you okay though ? Why are you calling me ?"

Ymir ran a hand through her hair "I'm anxious, I think Reiner probably told you that I outed Historia to her father." 

"Yeah he did..."

"I just" she felt her throat tighten as she tried to not break down again "I feel horrible... I didn't think that what I did could have so much consequences..."

A long silence, Bertolt broke it after a few minutes "it's okay Ymir. Just, you know Historia didn't act the way she did with you because she wanted to. It's just her father's fault. She never had the love of any of her parents growing up, so her father giving her attention made her want to please him you know ?" a pause "she doesn't care that he's using her for his image, all that she cares about is the fact that one of her parents takes care of her now. Did she never tell you about her mother ?"

"No she didn't..."

"Well let's just say that they lived under the same roof but she never acknowledged Historia's existence. So now she's trying to keep her father around, no matter how shitty he is with her."

Ymir stared at the TV in silence for a while, in the end she knew nothing about Historia. All that she knew was stuff that people told her, she couldn't even know if those things were true or not. 

That night Ymir only got 2 hours of sleep.

Chapter Text

January 18th 20xx

It was already all over the news. Something like that was what journalists were looking for to bring Rod Reiss down, another scandal. A really big one too. 

This one didn't happen on the street. Some paparazzi didn't accidentally stumbled upon it. 

No this one happened on live television. 

Rod Reiss was having a meeting, just like any good politician. 

A few days ago it was his daughter's birthday, and as a gift he bought her a trip to his favorite conversion therapy for the whole summer. Historia was so excited to become normal again. 

At least that's what he thought. 

Since his meeting was mostly about how woke people were brainwashing the children, he thought bringing up his daughter's condition would be a good example, more people could relate which also meant more votes. 

So, when the occasion came, he said :

"Let's take a good example shall we ? My beautiful daughter Historia, was dating her boyfriend when some dyke came and tried to convert her to lesbianism. It almost worked ! I was so scared I thought I had lost my daughter. But luckily for me Historia HERSELF asked to go to camp to change her sinful habits. After this summer she will be a new woman, free from her sins. May god guide her to the right path again..."

During his little speech, Historia was on edge, she didn't want to be here. She was so overwhelmed, all the cameras in her face and the look the journalists were giving her as if she was apart of a freak show were driving her insane. 

All she wanted was for Ymir to stop ignoring her, she tried so hard but the brunette was standing her ground. She would've loved for Ymir to beat her up rather than getting ignored by the brunette. 

It was pure torture, sitting there, having to listen to her father use that word that she herself used to describe the woman she loves just a week ago. Not only that but she didn't want to go through another summer in conversion therapy, she would rather kill herself than having to go through this. 

In fact why couldn't she just say no ? She was eighteen now, she could sustain herself, why was she still sitting there and letting her father control everything for her ?

No, it was stupid, she needed her father. 

That thought was quickly erased from her mind as Rod uttered his next words.

"...Once she's back from conversion therapy we came to an agreement with the mother of my daughter's boyfriend. We want the two of them to get married ! That way no more woke people can try to corrupt my daughter's pure mind..."

What ? Where did that come from ? She didn't want to marry Reiner. She would rather die than marry him, he was her best friend, more like a brother to her, she didn't want this, she felt like she was suffocating. 

"...no more faggots can corrupt my beautiful daughter anymore !" 

This reminded her of the first time she had to sit and endure her father calling people she loves different type of slurs. 

Mikasa was called a bunch of racial slurs along sides the ones regarding her sexuality, but Annie was the worst of them all. Rod had made her his public enemy number one. When Rod was choosing which friends Historia could keep, and she told him about Annie, he completely exploded. 

Annie had been adopted, she was originally from Russia making her a commie.

She was a lesbian, making her a sinful being. 

But most of all, she was transgender. The type of people conservators despise the most. 

After his little rant, calling Annie as many different slurs as he could, he obviously told Historia she was forbidden from seeing her. 

She had sat there and listened to him talk badly about her dearest friend Annie. 

The one that had been there for her when Historia questioned her sexuality, the one that listened whenever Historia was venting about her situation at home. 

She had let her father say those things about the closest thing she had to a family. 

And now he was doing it with Ymir. 

She had to do something she couldn't let that happen again. 

"...how about we hear some words from my daughter herself ? Historia would you mind telling those people about your experience ?" 

This, this was an opportunity to make things right. 

Historia stood up in front of the mic and took a big breath before starting her own little speech. 

"He's a liar don't vote for his fat ass." 

The whole public gasped at her sentence, Rod froze up, this wasn't happening, not again.

"He already sent me to conversion therapy and it didn't work. I won't go back there again it's pure torture ! I am a lesbian, there I said it ! I am gay ! And I love a girl ! I'm so in love with her I want to marry her not my boyfriend that's not even my boyfriend we've been fake dating ! My father's not a good person, do not vote for him ! He'll destroyed this state just like he destroyed his own family !"

Rod came back to his senses at last but it was too late, Historia had already delivered most of her speech, Rod turned to two bodyguards standing there, just a shocked "come on what are you waiting for ?! Stop her !"

The two bodyguards went for Historia but she clung to the mic like her life depended on it "being gay is fine ! Being transgender is fine ! Being yourself is fine ! Don't listen to him he's a liar ! Please don't vote for him ! I love women god I love women so much I'm a lesbiaaaaaan !!" at her last word she let go of the mic, feeling her arms tiring. The bodyguards dragged her out of the room. 

Rod came back in front of the mic and straightened his clothes "wooo I don't know what came over her I am so sorry everyone b-"

People started booing at him, throwing rotten food at him, Rod ran off stage, confused and devastated, this was it, Historia ruined his life. 

That little shit will pay for what she's done.

As it was said before, this ended up all over the news, and social medias as well. Everyone knew about it. 

Except for Ymir.

When all of this happened she was having a private swimming lesson with Nanaba. The older woman had agreed to tutor Ymir on weekends to cheer her up, it was Erwin's idea.

It was in fact working, Ymir was having fun and she was forgetting all about Historia.

Nanaba got out of the water at around 5 pm "sorry Ymir but I think our lesson will have to end. I promised my husband I would get some groceries before coming back home."

"HUSBAND ?!" Ymir couldn't believe what she just heard, Nanaba looked more like a lesbian than she did. It was always breaking her heart every time a pretty woman ended up being straight and with a man. Just like Natasha Lyonne. She sighed "that's too bad I wanted to run some more laps.."

The older woman giggled a little, Erwin had mentioned Ymir developing a sort of crush -the ones you get when you admire someone so much- on her and she had to admit that it was a lot more obvious after the man had pointed it out to her "you can run some laps while I go dry off okay ?" Ymir nodded and the older woman went to her bag. She retrieved her phone to text her husband that she would be on her way when a text from Levi took her attention, it was a link to a news article and another text begging her to keep Ymir away from her phone for as long as possible. Nanaba turned her attention back to the teenager who was coming out of the water. 

"You know what ? Miche can wait !" Ymir raised an eyebrow, confused, Nanaba laughed nervously "we could train some more at least until six, what do you think ?" Ymir's eyes lit up at the proposition "let me just text my husband real quick, go back in the water and run some more laps okay ?" she didn't need to be told twice, Ymir jumped right back in the water. Nanaba went right back to her phone in order to tell Miche to eat without her. Levi sent her another text saying that he'll come pick Ymir up at six. 

Ymir spent an amazing afternoon and beginning of evening. Levi came to pick her up, he seemed a bit nervous, which was an unusual sight "did you have fun with Nanaba ?"

"Yes although I wish you guys would've told me she wasn't a lesbian, I almost made a fool of myself.."

Levi smirked "well she was always really close to Hange in college so we always suspected something, but turns out she married Miche, we were just as surprised as you were." 

The brunette reached out for her bag, to retrieve her phone but Levi grabbed her wrists "don't use your phone while I drive I can be tempted to look at your screen."

Ymir snorted at that "not my fault you're very nosey" Levi just rolled his eyes, but Ymir could tell he seemed weirdly relieved. 

No Ymir didn't learn about the scandal until the next morning. 

When she saw the news article on her feed she ran down the stairs "did you guys know about this ?!"

Everyone in the living room froze, Mikasa was the first one to open her mouth "we knew you would be worried sick.."

"Well yeah ! Her father's insane ! Oh my god what if he did something to her..." 

Erwin put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it lightly "come on Ymir be reasonable, she's his daughter, surely he wouldn't go too far..."

"Stop this Erwin, you don't believe in what you're saying yourself" Levi sighed and got closer "you should try to call her if it worries you so much." 

Ymir ran back upstairs, ignoring the worried looks

the others were giving her. As soon as she was back in her room she tried to call Historia, but the blonde wasn't picking up, Ymir tried again at least fifteen more times but she wasn't answering any of her calls. She had a bad feeling about all of this. She quickly put on some clothes and ran outside. She kept running and running, Historia's mansion was far away but she needed to get there as fast as possible. She rang the doorbell once but no one answered, she tried some more but still no answer. 

She had no other choice. She would trespass their property. 

Historia had told her about a little breach in the backyard that she would use to sneak out to Hitch's parties. Ymir went their and found an average hole in the fence. She entered the backyard and ran toward the house. When she spotted Historia's window she decided to throw rocks at it in order to get the blonde's attention. She winced when she heard the window crack after throwing the tenth rock. Historia still wasn't responding. 

Fuck it, Ymir went for the backyard door, remembered something she saw in a YouTube video and managed to open the door. She ran upstairs and threw open Historia's door, to find the blonde, unconscious, on her bed. Blood leaking out at a fast pace. 

Oh god. This couldn't be happening. 

Ymir found the deep cut Historia had done to herself, it was going from her upper arm to her wrist, she found a scarf lying on the ground and tried to add pressure to the wound. Historia frowned in her deep slumber, good she wasn't dead yet. With her unoccupied hand Ymir took out her phone and called an ambulance. 

They came after ten minutes of waiting. 

Ymir was sure that it was too late. 

It happened too fast, the ambulance taking them to the hospital. Levi and Erwin joining her to the hospital. Everyone panicking. 

The brunette dissociated after a while, unable to think no more. 

She was awoken by Annie, a worried look on her face "you should go home to take a shower and change clothes... you're covered in blood..." 

Her blood. 

"It's fine. I want to wait for her to wake up" everyone in the room suddenly tensed up "what ?"

"The doctor came when you were..." Levi started "said she might not make it." 

Ymir's eyes widened "..no..."

"Please Ymir let's get you home.." Mikasa tried to take her arm but the brunette roughly pulled away "we're worried about you."

"I'm not going anywhere until she's awake. You can all leave I don't care." 

And they did leave. After an hour of waiting they all went home. Levi stayed by Ymir's side a bit longer and then left but not before giving the brunette a tight hug. 

Ymir stayed alone for a long time until she felt someone's hand on her shoulder. 

It was Reiner, he smiled weakly and sat beside her. They both stayed in silence, Ymir didn't dare look at him. He sighed after a while "Historia was like my little sister. She was there to support me when my mother wouldn't. It was her and I against the world... she really loved you."

"Did she?"

"Yes..." he turned to look at her but Ymir wouldn't move "she wanted to run away with you. I told her it would be selfish to force you to leave everyone behind for her... I wish I hadn't told her that..." 

Ymir started trembling, tears spilling out of her eyes, the stress of the whole day catching up to her. Reiner took her in her arms, rubbing circles on her back to calm her. 

A doctor approached them and the two stood up, impatient to here what he had to tell them "your friend's state has been stabilized. We can't guarantee you that she will be okay but at least for now she is. We still need to contact someone from her family to take care of her though, do you know someone that can come pick her up when she wakes up ?" 

"I won't let Rod take her back... maybe Levi and Erwin won't mind having her home...?"

Reiner interrupted her "someone from her family can come take care of her yes" Ymir frowned and was about to say something but he cut her off again "do you trust me ? I wouldn't do anything to harm her."

“..yeah… I trust you.”

“Alright let me give her a quick call” Reiner went outside and pulled out his phone. 

The truth is, Ymir would’ve ran away with Historia if she had asked.

✰ ✰ ✰

Historia was confused when she woke up. She looked at her left arm and saw that it was bandaged. She looked around and when she realized that she was in a hospital bed she panicked, had Rod found her ? She had make sure that he wouldn't be back for a few hours. What had happened ? She couldn't remember anything. 

She didn't have time to process anything else because Ymir stormed into the room and hugged her tightly, crying. 

Wait a minute. Ymir ???

"You scared me you idiot ! Why did you do that ?!" 

Historia frowned confused "I thought you didn't want to see me no more..."

"Well yeah I was mad but that doesn't mean I wanted you dead ! You idiot..." Ymir caressed Historia's cheek and the blonde gave her a weak smile. 

Reiner entered as well, followed by a tall raven haired girl.

Oh no.

"Historia, I told you to call me in case you needed it. Why didn't you do it ?" Frieda got close to her sister, Ymir stepped away to give the two girls some space.

The blonde frowned "I didn't want to leave father alone I already told you..."

Frieda frowned and shook her head "whatever. I'm just so relieved to see that you're okay..." she took her little sister in her arms and Historia felt tears pearling at the corner of her eyes "you're gonna come live with me and uncle Uri. I refuse to leave you with that man."

Historia turned to look at Reiner and Ymir and smiled "I want to be free... take me home Frieda..."

A few weeks later, Historia was in good enough condition that she could leave the hospital. 

Erwin was waiting outside with the mini van he used sometimes to take everyone -their little friend group-on road trips. When Frieda and Historia were signing the papers at the reception, an angry Rod Reiss interrupted them.

"What ? You thought I would let you leave with my daughter.? Well you thought wrong..."

Frieda got in front of Historia "she's not your daughter, you didn't give two fucks about her before ! You paid Alma to get an abortion the first time !" 

A few gasps could be heard and some people pulled out their phones to start recording. But Rod was too angry to care right now "well in the end she didn't get that fucking abortion so who cares ?"

"And then you gave her money to raise Historia under a fake name because you were scared people would find out about her !" Rod frowned "and when we left, Alma had a weird sudden accident, leaving you 'no choice but to take Historia in'. Don't take us for idiots, you don't care about her, all you care about is your reputation." 

"And so what ?!" Rod exploded, still not realizing that he was being recorded "I'm allowed to think about myself ! What ?! How could I have known that two of my daughters would turn out to be fucking dykes !" a few gasps again "I need her, she's my ticket to winning those elections please Frieda don't take her away.." Frieda gave him a disgusted look as the security escorted Rod out of the hospital. 

She turned to look at her little sister, the blonde was shaking and crying. She knew her father didn't truly care about her, but actually hearing it hurt a lot more than what she had expected. Frieda took the smaller girl in her arms and comforted her. 

They stepped outside when the blonde was calm again, Ymir was in front of the mini van and smiled brightly upon seeing the two girls "hurry everyone's waiting inside !" 

And by everyone she meant, Erwin in the driver's seat and Levi in the passenger's seat, Eren, Mikasa and Armin sitting right behind them and Reiner, Bertolt and Annie in the second row. Ymir helped Historia get seated into the last row while Frieda went to talk to Levi for a second "you guys have the address, everything good ?"

"Yeah don't worry about it, did something happen ? You took a while to come out of the hospital I was about to come see if there was a problem"

Frieda sighed "Rod was waiting for us, but security took care of him don't worry. And a little birdie tells me that he will lose the election, some people recorded our little altercation."

Levi smiled "that's good to know." 

The trip to get to Uri's house only took around an hour, which was good because Levi felt like strangling Erwin the whole trip. 

"What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean ?" 

A long silence...

"Nothing ! It just waved !"

Armin nervously laughed at the joke while Levi was fuming, and if the kids weren't in the van with them, he wouldn't have minded provoking an accident just to make Erwin shut up. 

When they finally arrived at their destination. Ymir gasped a little.

It was a huge farm, so much bigger than she had ever seen. 

Eren jumped in his seat "THERE ARE GOATS THERE ARE GOATS !!" 

Annie groaned and pressed her palms to he ears "it's a farm dumbass." 

Armin turned to look at Frieda "is there a river near, where we can swim ?"

Frieda nodded "yes and you guys are all welcomed to come swim here in the summer !" 

"That's so sweet of you !" Erwin started "it reminds me... do you guys know where sharks go on vaca-" 

"COME ON EVERYONE OUT OF THE VAN NOW." 

Uri came out to greet everyone, he hugged tightly Historia "I'm so happy to finally be able to meet you..." 

"I'm so happy to meet you too uncle Uri..."

He turned to everyone else and his gaze landed on Levi. He frowned a little and then his gaze softened, leaving place for confusion "..Levi...? Levi Ackerman...?"

"Yes ?" Levi looked at Erwin, visibly confused as well. How did this old man know who he is. 

Historia pointed at Ymir "he is Ymir's foster dad, I hope you don't mind that we brought so many people here..."

"No no ! I don't mind but..." just as he was about to finish his sentence, Historia's other siblings came running out of the house and hugged her tightly.

"Oh we're so happy to meet you ! I am Abel, this is Ulklin, Dirk, and Florian !" Historia smiled, she had a family. 

Another taller man got out of the house. And upon making eye contact with Levi, the shorter man gasped loudly "KENNY ??!" 

Kenny smirked "well what do we have here ! What are you doing here ?"

Uri smiled at his husband "this is the foster father of Historia's little girlfriend" the two girls nervously laughed, technically they weren't together no more. 

Levi scoffed "I could ask you the same thing !"

"Well I live here" Kenny took Uri in his arms "this is my husband !"

Levi felt dizzy and almost fell but luckily Erwin was there to steady him. Not only was Kenny actually married but he was married to a short frail old man. This felt like a weird dream he would have after getting high with Hange back in college. 

Uri smiled warmly "how about you all stay for dinner tonight ? I'd like to meet all of you properly ! After all you're all my family now."

Bertolt turned to Reiner "will your mother mind that you're here tonight ?"

Reiner smirked "fuck her honestly I don't care what she thinks anymore." 

Annie slapped hard his back making him wince "that's the Reiner I love !" 

Erwin turned to Eren "please tell me your mother know you're here and she won't call the cops again."

Eren scoffed dramatically, clearly offended "come on it happened once ! And yes she knows I'm here." 

The older man gave him a suspicious look "I'm sending her a text... we never know..." 

Eren rolled his eyes while Armin giggled. 

The dinner was very lively, everyone chatting with each other. It was nice, warm, everything both Ymir and Historia had always dreamed of. 

A family. 

Ymir took the opportunity of Levi being distracted by Erwin making once again another dad joke to sign at Historia to go outside. The blonde nodded and the two girls snuck out of the dining table. 

They couldn't stop giggling as they stepped outside in the cold February weather. Ymir stopped and just stared stupidly at the blonde "I was so scared."

"I know."

"I would've ran away with you."

Historia shook her head "in the end I survived and that's all that matters. I'm so happy that I get to experience what's it like to have a family, with you by my side..." she took Ymir's hand shyly and the brunette squeezed it. 

"..I love you.. I never hated you..." 

The blonde smiled, tears escaping her eyes as she kissed the brunette deeply. When she pulled out to get some air she giggle again "I love you so much too... you changed my life for the better.. you're my savior..." she snuggled close to the brunette, feeling a bit cold.

Ymir looked up at the sky, she hoped Ilse could see her, she would be proud of her. She escaped and found a real loving family. 

This was the happy ending she deserved.

✰ ✰ ✰

Ymir graduated from High school in May alongside all of her friends. 

Historia did not go back to school after the incident. Instead she went to a mental institution for a few months and got out just in time to see Ymir graduate. 

They had a huge party the night of her graduation at Uri's farm to celebrate all of this. Just like that day in January except this time Jean, Marco, Sasha and Connie were there. Hitch was there too with her boyfriend Marlowe. Nanaba and her husband had come too. And obviously Petra had come with Oruo and her other friends, Eld and Gunther.

Everyone was eating dinner and having fun. When Levi taped with his spoon on a glass to get everyone's attention. 

"Everyone please ! I'd like to have your attention" everyone went silent "about a year ago I lost my job as a police officer after an injury that forced me to stay home for almost half a year. Petra told me about this job that would let me stay home while being paid, all I needed to do was take care of a teenager. I would've never known that this job would completely turn my life upside down" he turned his attention to Ymir making the brunette jump a little "Ymir. You changed Erwin and I's life for the better, we loved every moment we spent with you. This is why we gift you this tonight.." he slid an envelope her way. She took it, filled with curiosity "we hope this gift makes you as happy as we are."

"You guys are making me nervous" she chuckled a little and opened the envelope, slipping out of it a bunch of papers. She read the first one and she felt her heart jump out of the rib cage. 

Certificate of adult adoption.

Ymir's eyes widened as she looked to the two men again, Erwin was already tearing up but Levi was keeping his cool as much as he could "we know you're an adult now, but we figured going into college without a proper last name would be complicated." 

The brunette's eyes filled with tears as she ran to hug them tightly. Everyone clapped as Ymir wiped her eyes "I'd be honored to officially be your daughter..."

This year was complicated and full of obstacles. 

But in the end, Ymir survived and gained a family. 

That night Ymir stayed to sleep at Uri's house. Historia and her were making out on the blonde's bed when Ymir suddenly pulled away. She smiled when she confidently said "I think I'm ready." 

Historia smiled and went right back to kissing the brunette. 

And when Ymir woke up the next day, body aching but next to her lover, she knew life was worth living if Historia was by her side until the end.

Chapter Text

"This is it, it's his house."

Ymir in the passenger seat was anxiously chewing her nails while staring at the house. She knew she should get out of the car but she felt too nervous right now. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned to see Petra giving her a soft smile. She smiled as well, she knew she had nothing to worry about, after all the worse the man could do is throw her out. 

"Do you want me to come with you ?"

Ymir shook her head "no I have to do this alone. But thank you so much Petra, without you I couldn't have found the courage to do this."

She gave her one last hug before finally leaving the coolness of the car. The bright July sun blinded her for a second but she kept going towards the house. 

She knocked two times before waiting. After a few seconds that felt like hours, a middle aged man came out of the house, his eyes widened upon seeing her and then he frowned, like he recognized her from somewhere but couldn't remember from where "can I help you ?"

"Hi my name is Ymir Ackerman-Smith. I would like to speak with Henry Langnar."

"That's me."

"I believe you knew my mother Aylin Kara is that right ?” 

His breath hitched at the mention of the name, so that’s where he recognized her from “ ‘knew’…?” 

“You might want to sit down.” 

So he did. He let Ymir into the house and he sat down on the couch motioning for Ymir to sit next to him. Ymir took the time to look at the family pictures on the walls of the living room.

“Nice family.”

“Get to the point.” 

Ymir raised an eyebrow at that but she simply sat down, she understood that this man simply wanted some answers. She finally sat down next to him “after you left, Aylin joined a cult” she faintly heard Henry mumble a ‘oh god’ so she nodded in agreement “long-story short, she had me with the priest and she died in childbirth.” 

Henry covered his face with his hands, she could tell that he was in shock. Suddenly he took her hands, a slight bit of hope in his eyes “what about Ilse ?? Where is she ??” 

Ymir looked away, embarrassed ? Sad ? She wasn’t sure “she died at the age of 16, while trying to escape.” 

And now Henry was sobbing. She wondered if his new wife could come out any time and see him like this, she wondered if she even knew that Aylin and Ilse existed. She wanted to laugh, because in all these years this man had never tried to reconnect with his daughter, but at the same time she could understand. 

After some time the man calmed down and he looked up at Ymir, he looked ashamed “thank you.”

Ymir frowned “for what ?” she just told him that his ex girlfriend and daughter died, why the fuck is he thanking her. 

He wiped his eyes with his left hand and with the other he reached out for Ymir’s hand which she let him take out of pity “my wife doesn’t know. But for some years I tried to find Aylin and Ilse again. But they had completely disappeared. I even went to her parents but they didn’t know where Aylin was either. After some time I gave up. But deep down I couldn’t forget about them. Because of you I can finally get closure. Thank you” Ymir smiled sadly, so he did search for them, she felt bad for judging the man too fast “may I ask how old you were when you were rescued from the cult ?”

“12. If Ilse had waited two more years she would still be there.” 

Another sob, and this time Ymir felt a tear slide down her own left cheek. She let the man hold her in his arms “you look just like her…”

“Who ?”

“Aylin…” he let go of Ymir and smiled, he shook his head “it might be awkward but do you want to stay for dinner ?” 

Ymir smiled “ah I’m sorry but someone is waiting for me outside. Maybe another time ? I believe you have to have a little talk with your wife beforehand.” 

“Heh yeah that’s right…”

When Ymir returned into the car, she felt lighter somehow. 

“How did it go ??”

“Well…” Ymir pulled lightly at her ponytail, her hair had grown a lot since her senior year of high school, now she usually wear her hair in a ponytail, but only to show off her undercut. She also tried bangs recently but she might let it grow back because she isn’t sure if it fits her really well “lots of crying but that was to be expected.”

Petra nodded and started the car “do I drop you off at Uri’s house ?” 

“Yep ! Tori wants to talk to me about something.”

Ymir originally thought Historia wanted to tell her something that wasn’t that important, it wasn’t unusual for the blonde to ask Ymir to show up just to ask her something that could’ve been asked over the phone. But upon noticing the grave expression on Historia’s face, Ymir second guessed herself. 

“Are… you okay Historia…?”

“Yeah don’t worry. Let’s go for a walk shall we ?” 

Ymir nodded and swallowed hard. If she didn’t know Historia so well she would think that the blonde was luring her away to murder her. 

They kept walking for a while before Historia finally opened her mouth “how long before Annie comes back from the military ?” 

“About two years why ?”

Historia scratched the back of her neck “you said she was going to propose to Mikasa when she comes back right ?”

“…yes” she wasn’t sure where Historia was going with that one.

“We should throw an engagement party it could be great.”

“Yeah for sure.”

They became silent again for a while, before Historia decided to break it again  “Jean and Marco are getting married when again ?”

“Next June” Ymir was confused, Historia knew these things. 

“Haha who do you think the next couple to get married after Mikasa and Annie will be ?”

Ymir gave it some thought before answering “probably Reiner and Bertholdt because Eren and Armin are still dancing around each other it’s super infuriating.” 

Historia suddenly stopped in her tracks and Ymir frowned “what about us ?”

The brunette flushed and looked away “what do you mean ?” 

Historia got closer, a shy look on her face “Uri think my project is a good idea…”

“You mean the orphanage ?”

“Yes. He is ready to lend me part of his land to build the orphanage. Isn’t that amazing ??”

Ymir smiled brightly “it is !” 

“What about you ?” Historia took Ymir’s hand “now that you graduated from college what do you want to do ?” 

Ymir sighed “I don’t know… I think I want to try to write a novel..”

“And you’ll stay by my side even when your novel becomes a best seller ?”

She snorted “of course. I’ll stay by your side no matter what.”

“Good.”

Historia got down on one knee, startling Ymir “what are you…”

“Ymir. I know that it wasn’t always easy for you to handle my meltdowns and other problems I have. But no matter what you stayed by my side while I was healing. And for that I’ll always be grateful” Ymir was as red as a tomato “I asked Levi and Erwin for their blessings. And they said yes. So Ymir. Will you marry me ?” Historia pulled out a ring that Ymir recognized from an old picture of Levi’s mother, she felt like sobbing. 

“Yes ! A million time yes !” Historia shakily slid the ring on her finger, Ymir then took her in her arms, and kissed her deeply.

By the end of the day, her eyes were extremely puffy from all the crying she had done. But she didn’t care because never in her life did she feel as happy as she did that day. 

At least that’s what she thought until she saw Historia in her white gown walking down the aisle while holding Uri’s left arm. That right there was most likely the happiest she ever felt. 

Or maybe it was when they finally opened the orphanage. 

Or maybe it was when Historia and her were two old women watching the sunset while holding hands. 

It didn’t matter which one was her happiest. As long as Historia was by her side that was all that mattered. 

Ymir glanced at the starry sky, and hopped that somehow Ilse was proud of the woman she had become.