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Chapter Text

Waking up with a headache and a throbbing jaw was really one hell of a way to worsen someone’s already not-so-good day. Shen Jiu barely kept his whines down as he brought up a hand to soothe the bruise, but as soon as the touch happened, a hiss left his throat at the sharp pain shooting through his whole body.

White sparks danced behind his closed eyelids, forcing a string of mental curses at himself for not listening to his manager's warnings.

In his defense, the release of the new album was right around the corner, and Shen Jiu was a perfectionist to the core. He forgot, again, that his body needed nutrients, food, or a snack to survive, but he had been so focused on the final edits that those basic human needs simply slipped his mind.

He knew there would be consequences to his carelessness, maybe a little light-headedness or some dizziness. He wasn't expecting to faint as soon as he got up from the chair!

His whole body hurt, head drumming as if he got punched, which... wasn't that a little weird? His head definitely hit the table, but this amount of pain was ridiculous!

"Get up already, Shen Qingqiu!"

The roar startled him.

Then, that cursed name caught his attention.

A shiver went down his spine, eyes snapping wide open, alert and hyper-suspicious of his surroundings.

It took him a moment to register the naked ground under his hands, even less to understand what was happening. Almost immediately, his shoulders relaxed, taking in a deep breath before exhaling, repeating the exercise a couple of times.

With all his might, Shen Jiu forcefully suppressed the terror creeping into his bones, repeating over and over again that it was just a dream. Nothing more, nothing less. Whatever he was going to see, It wasn’t real. None of it. Not anymore.

After successfully calming down, he finally took a look around. His eyes skimmed from left to right, noticing a bunch of people gathered around him in a circle, only coming to a final stop when they landed on the one that had the audacity to roar that cursed name.

Liu Qingge.

The hostility in those forgotten gray pools sent another wave of shivers down his body, remembering how hated, despised, and loathed he had been back in his first life. It had been so long since the last time he experienced such a vivid nightmare, that he almost forgot how ugly and deplorable his past had truly been.

"Shen Qingqiu!" Liu Qingge roared again, and Shen Jiu moaned in exasperation. Even in his dreams, the brute remained as infuriating as ever.

"What? Do you like me so much that you need the world to hear you scream my name?" with some difficulties, Shen Jiu got up to dusts his robes, making the mistake of touching again his wounded jaw, hissing at the pain. He can already imagine how ugly the bruise will look, and no one was to blame but the beast in front of him.

"Did you really have to hit my face? Mindless, stupid, reckless brute!" the insults were mostly muttered to himself as he massaged his tailbone. The sting was a little too real, but not unusual. Whenever he dreamed of his past life the pain always felt real. Even after waking up his body would tingle as an aftermath of such nightmares. Thankfully, with time the frequency of those nightmares lowered in number, stopping completely by the age of sixteen.

"Xiao Ji-"

"Don't you dare use that stupid name! I'm sure I've already told you many times to stop using it! Is the concept of respecting one's boundaries foreign to you?!" Shen Jiu clicks his tongue, turning to glare at-... a younger version of Yue Qingyuan?

Why was Yue Qi so young-

He looked again at the people around, then down his body, confirming his suspicions. This was around his disciple times.

Huh.

Usually, his nightmares revolved around the torture Luo Binghe inflicted on him, or when he had been unable to save Liu Qingge from those damned caves.

This was... a rather nice change.

"Shen Qingqiu!"

Shen Jiu wanted to throttle Liu Qingge and his annoying roars.

"What? What do you want? This is the third time you call my name in the span of two damn minutes! What is it?!"

Liu Qingge looked at him weirdly. But it lasted only a second before he launched himself at him.

Shen Jiu narrowly avoided the kick, taking hold of his ankle.

The guy was nuts!

How could he aim for his face again?

Affronted by the second attempt to ruin his beauty, Shen Jiu kicked the back of his left knee, and Liu Qingge ungraciously fell with a loud thud on the dusty ground. Shen Jiu let the leg he was holding rest on his shoulder crouching down to occupying the space between Liu Qingge’s thighs, locking the other in place.

During his first life, Shen Jiu had been too focused on hating and resenting the world to notice anything else around him, but now that he looked at Liu Qingge, Shen Jiu had to admit that the brute had quite the exquisite features. They were delicate, leaning more toward a feminine allure. His beauty was graceful without hindering the masculinity exuded. His beauty was comparable to that of a young, noble master, sitting in an open field, making flower crowns and playing with songbirds.

In this, they were a little similar. Shen Jiu's beauty too leaned more on the feminine side, and the industry took full advanced of that, adding make-up, hair accessories, and much more to accentuate it. Fans, whether old or young, loved to gift him pins, plushies, head pieces, and many other things that were generally used by women.

Liu Qingge was beautiful, he'll give him that.

Especially now, pinned down, ponytail in disarray, cheeks flushed - probably at the humiliation of having Shen Qingqiu lent a hit on him more than anything else.

If only the brute hadn’t provoked him, he wouldn't be now pinned on the ground by the shixiong he distrusted the most. But Shen Jiu despised that name.

No matter how much time passed, no matter that he was now in a much, much better place, that name was a stain on his soul. An ugly, revolting, pathetic stain that he wanted to forget once and forever.

"You--! Shen Qing-" before that repulsive name could reach his ears, Shen Jiu slipped his thumb into Liu Qingge's mouth, pad pressing down his tongue. Immediately, the other went still, body freezing up while grey eyes widened in disbelief.

Shen Jiu tilted his head to the side, leaning in to take a better look.

"If only you were a little more tamed, you'd be ten thousand times more attractive."

Liu Qingge flushed, gaping at him in what seemed to be pure horror.

Shen Jiu would have laughed at the dumb expression his former shidi was pulling off, but before he could make a comment -or rather, mock him- Liu Qingge began to fidget around.

The Bai Zhan head disciple wasn’t exactly trying to get away, or at least that's what Shen Jiu observed. The brute's leg was still on his shoulder despite Shen Jiu not holding it anymore. He did need his other hand to hold him down while his right one was occupied with his face.

Despite the opening offered, Liu Qingge's right ankle remained on his shoulder, while the other one was pressing against his side as if to prevent Shen Jiu from moving away. Curious as to why he wasn't trying to push him away, Shen Jiu leaned again over his face, eyes squinting with judgmental contempt.

Liu Qingge squirmed again, and Shen Jiu's thumb left his mouth to hold his throat, lightly pressing on the sides.

"Stop it! My dick is right on top of yours, what do you think will happen if you keep squirming like a helpless maiden?"

"Shen Qingqiu! You-!"

Shen Jiu's mood dropped, eyes darkening with newfound malice.

"That's it. I hate it. Let's change tune, shall we?" Shen Jiu gripped the front of his robes and pulled Liu Qingge up until their lips pressed, viciously biting down his lower lip until the frail skin broke. As both tasted the iron flavor of blood, Liu Qingge let out a strangled noise.

Whether the sound had been out of pain or pleasure, Shen Jiu didn’t care. All he wanted was for the brute to quit using that name.

If there was one thing Shen Jiu knew about himself, was that he was born spiteful – this hadn't really changed. And what better way to shut up a prude, self-proclaimed 'righteous' cultivator than by publicly disgracing him?

After all, he wasn't doing anything bad, just some underhanded payback for all the rumors and humiliation he had to suffer because of a mouth that didn't know when or how to shut up.

Shen Jiu's hands slid down his firm chest, then to the sides. The hold was not bruising, just enough to keep the brute in place while his thumbs teased the covered nipples. Almost immediately, they perked under his ministrations, despite the two layers of robes covering them.

What age was Liu Qingge now?

Since they already received their courtesy names they should be in their early twenties. Regardless, he had to mentally applaud the man for the muscles underneath.

"Let's drop that name, hm?" Shen Jiu glowed at the flushed face of the other, swimming in glee as Liu Qingge whimpered while looking up at him. Oh, the amount of fun he will have turning this upright noble into a moaning mess...

Shen Jiu kissed him again.

"How about Shixiong?" Shen Jiu asked, pulling his hair. forcing the brute to expose the neck. Without the slightest hesitation, Shen Jiu began trailing kisses from his earlobe down his collarbone, and then back up, shifting the positions until he was fully sitting on the other’s lap.

That's when he felt it.

"Oh?" Shen Jiu pulled back.

He looked at Liu Qingge, eyes dazed, lips puffy, and cheeks coated in deep red. Then, slowly and almost too lightly, Shen Jiu rolled his hips. Liu Qingge hissed at the friction, gripping the hem of his robes.

A lick of cruel satisfaction warmed Shen Jiu’s back.

Who knew. Liu Qingge apparently had a humiliation kink. Or was it his mind conjuring such thing?

"If you ask nicely, I might consider helping you" Shen Jiu offered, hands feeling up his arms. He had to admit, Liu Qingge’s trained body was quite the catch.

"Shen-" Liu Qingge bit his lip as Shen Jiu gave his clothed cock another teasing roll. "Shi-xiong" it wasn’t a moan, more like a groan, but it was good enough. For now.

"Yes, Liu-shidi? How may this one help you?"

If his manager and PR executive were to witness him now, they would probably have a stroke at the salacious display. But they weren't here to stop him, neither was Shen Jiu willing to stop now. And why would he? The Bai Zhan War God was beneath him, all hot and bothered because of the one he regarded as nothing but a lecherous backstabber. How could Shen Jiu pass the opportunity to prove how Liu Qingge was no better than a mortal?

Hah !

Liu Qingge had always been the one screaming it the loudest, accusing him of being an immoral cultivator, of shaming the sect's name by constantly visiting the brothels. While Yue Qingyuan had been the one to start all the bullshit about brothels being immoral, he at least had the decency to chastise him privately. Liu Qingge, however, never cared in front of who he insulted a fellow peak lord.

Since they had been the instigator of such unfounded rumors, Shen Jiu might as well deliver some validity to them, no?

If getting his revenge in waking life wasn’t feasible, he might as well make the most out of this dream.

Yes. That’s exactly what he should do.

In this dream, he will show everyone what a true, lecherous bastard is supposed to look like.

"Aiyah shidi, how about-" one of his hands gripped his jaw, prodding his thumb in between Liu Qingge's parted lips once again. The pad pressed on the lower lip, and Liu Qingge's eyes widened. "-opening those pretty lips? Can Shidi be good for this one?"

Much to Shen Jiu’s surprise, the other complied.

Shen Jiu grinned before diving back for another kiss. His tongue slipped in, and if at first, he was planning on a teasing kiss, the sweetness of caramelized hawthorn reached his palate faster than lightning.

Chasing the taste, the kiss quickly took an aggressive turn, tongue skimming over every nook and cranny to suck even the tiniest remnant of his favorite sweet treat. All the while his touches grew heavier, harsher, groping Liu Qingge’s pecs, squeezing his biceps and pecs.

Liu Qingge was twitching under him. All his little moans were greedily swallowed by Shen Jiu, while his hands hoovered over his hips. Shen Jiu had to admire the self-restraint, but he needed the other to succumb to the carnal desire. He needed Liu Qingge to lose every bit of face; to show the world how filthy the War God of Bai Zhan could be. If Shen Jiu had to suffer by becoming a disgrace, he will drag Liu Qingge down with him, so they could be at the same despicable level.

But what Shen Jiu didn’t expect, was for Liu Qingge to suddenly dig his fingers into his hips, and flip the positions. Thinking that Liu Qingge might use his distraction to get away, Shen Jiu locked his ankles behind his back, one of his heels pressing against Liu Qingge’s tailbone, while his arms hooked around his broad shoulders, keeping their mouths locked.

Liu Qingge’s hands stayed on his hips, although Shen Jiu did feel at one point his hands moving underneath the two layers of his robes when flipping them over. Otherwise Liu Qingge’s thumbs wouldn’t be digging into his skin. What a sneaky little thing his shidi was.

When their hips slammed by accident, Liu Qingge groaned, pressing even further into him.

Shen Jiu was the one to eventually pull at his ponytail to get some missed air. "Don't you dare-" he puffed, "to ever show up in front of me without a sweet. Now come back down, there's still a little left"

There was a cacophony of gasps and whispers around them -not that they could hear any- and multiple pairs of eyes staring in utter shock at the two. There was also an enraged Peak Lord being held down by two others, and a sword being swung in the air somewhere in the near distance.

"You- YOU BEAST! LOOK AT YOUR UNRULY MUTT!" the awfully familiar voice of his long ago shizun did reach his ears despite the distance, but Shen Jiu was too preoccupied with the task at hand to care. In fact, he was too busy trying to catch Liu Qingge’s tongue to suck on it, drawing even more groans out of the other.

"MY DISCIPLE?! YOURS IS KEEPING MINE DOWN!"

Much to Shen Jiu’s surprise, Liu Qingge took hold of his wrists and pinned them above his head, using only one hand as the other traveled down his neck, then down his side, and up his thigh, eventually squeezing it a couple of times.

"DRAG THAT DOG AWAY FROM MY DISCIPLE!"

Shen Jiu tilted his head back, breaking the kiss. He was going to use his heel to hit him from the back, but stopped when feeling Liu Qingge’s lips on his jaw. Shen Jiu couldn’t help but internally feel smug.

Seems like the much beloved honorable Liu Qingge wasn’t that much different from other men.

A gasp escapes his throat when Liu Qingge suddenly gripped his hips, slamming their hips.Shen Jiu titled his head to the side to see his face. Liu Qingge was frowning, eyes unfocused, almost hazy as he moved back up to peck his lips again, only to nose-dive into his neck.

How unsightly.

A shame Shen Jiu didn’t get to humiliate the other like that in his past life. It would have been fun, sharing the same lecherous reputation.

However, the surprises didn’t seem to be over. No, no. Because the next thing Liu Qingge did, actually made Shen Jiu shiver in arousal. The brute sunk his teeth into the side of his neck, sucking on the patch of skin, even slightly tugging down the collar to get more access.

“Zhao Nanfang! If your mutt defiles my sprout I will personally seek vengeance! And it will be bloody!”

Liu Qingge groaned as Shen Jiu whimpered right against his ear.

Something, in that moment, snapped.

Liu Qingge’s hold became forceful, bruising, as his fingers painfully dug into his skin, dragging his hips until his clothed cock snuggled into the other.

Shen Jiu moaned, loudly, head thrown back as Liu Qingge once again bit his neck, teasing the skin in between his teeth with quick flicks of his tongue.

Body burning up, while the pit of his stomach filled with desire and anticipation, Shen Jiu unfastened the sash keeping his first layers of robes, tugging the second one as well, loosening them at the collar as soon as he freed himself from Liu Qingge’s strong hold. He titled his head to the side, fully exposing the neck and collarbone in a silent invitation. An invitation that Liu Qingge greedily accepted, covering the new span of skin in more kisses and bite marks.

One hand went into Liu Qingge’s hair, painfully fisting the ponytail while the other clutched his shoulder. All the while giving encouraging moans just to spur him on. Which, worked like a charm. Even if it was his own mind conjuring this Liu Qingge -an eager thing peppering his neck with teeth and sucks in front of an audience, it felt like a well-deserved vindication.

Oh, the satisfaction of publicly humiliating his shidi... to show their martial siblings just how much of a lustful beast he truly was despite the number of times he had accused Shen Qingqiu of such debaucheries!

Here he stood, the great, does-no-wrong, mighty Liu Qingge, humping Shen Qingqiu like a dog in heat!

Shen Jiu wanted to taunt him, he wanted to see his shidi unravel, right there, right in front of the martial brothers and sisters that always sided with Liu Qingge. In front of all those idiots that regarded the War God of Bai Zhan like an unblemished god, too virtuous and pure to engage in such earthly, carnal pleasures.

Oh, he can almost taste the victory of knocking Liu Qingge down from that high, glorified pedestal of his!

"That's all you got, shidi?" Shen Jiu mocked, using his heels to push him closer, while briefly bucking his hips up. He tugged his hair hard, drawing a long groan from the other. Whether from pain or pleasure, Shen Jiu didn't know. Nor did he care. What he cared about were the eyes of the other disciples staring incredulously at them. He wanted so bad to look at them and humiliate the brute, to sardonically scream at them: Look! That's your prized War God engaging in lowly filthy pleasure. With his most despised shixiong!

He can already taste the foul rumors that will follow Liu Qingge for the rest of his life! And that alone is enough to fuel even more Shen Jiu's own excitement. 

Liu Qingge's hands moved to cup his cheeks, tongue slipping deeper and deeper into Shen Jiu’s mouth, far too lost in pleasure to notice his surroundings. He was so lost in the scholar, so focused on feeling him up, getting drunk on jasmine and honeydew, that the two approaching figures went unnoticed.

"What are you waiting for, brute? Fuck me already" with a strangled groan and a new rush of excitement, Liu Qingge's hips snapped against Shen Jiu, moaning wantonly at the sweet friction. He flushed against Shen Jiu, and with no more space left between their bodies, Liu Qingge wanted nothing more than to rut into his shixiong. His fingers seemed to have a mind of their own as they began to undo Shen Jiu’s robes.

Soon, too soon, everything ends when someone grabbed Liu Qingge from the back, separating the two. Shen Jiu watched with bitter disappointment as the former Bai Zhan Peak Lord retrieved his disciple, but he didn’t have much time to dwell on it as someone covered his body.

Curious, Shen Jiu looked up, coming face to face with a man he hadn’t seen in over half a century. Li Nanchen, his former shizun, gathered him into his arms, using the wide sleeves of his robes to shield his debauched self from the watchful eyes of the other disciples. He wasn’t looking at him, but was spitefully glaring at Liu Qingge, who was now struggling to get away from Zhao Nanfang’s clutches. Eventually, Shen Jiu saw the elder knock his disciple out like a light, while his own shizun picked him up and away from the crime scene.

Useless to say, but neither of them were happy at the elder's meddling.

Li Nanchen was slightly different from what Shen Jiu remembered. He had been fretting over him for the past four hours, something that never happened in the past, not even when Shen Jiu showed up with bruises from fighting his peak mates.

For half an hour Li Nanchen threw at him questions like "are you alright?" "Did that animal hurt you? He dares!" "Is that a bite?! He bit you?!" and the rest had been mostly spent finding every possible insult and curse to throw at both the Bai Zhan peak lord and his head disciple. It had been entertaining to see it, but Shen Jiu knew it to be nothing but a far cry from the reality he regrettably had lived.

Li Nanchen had been a composed man, always proper and polite. His words were so sharp they could leave permanent scars, but he never lost the elegance of a true scholar. In the past, despite his aversion to men, Shen Qingqiu respected him, so much so that even when everyone turned against him, repeatedly requesting him to leave the sect, he maintained the promise made to him.

Stay on Qing Jing Peak and share knowledge with your martial siblings. The sect comes first, everything else is second.

Everything else meaning himself.

Seeing how this dream twisted Li Nanchen’s personality, Shen Jiu finally understood that part of him probably had wished for a more parent-like figure out of his Shizun; worrying over him, protecting him from danger, patting his head, hugging him close.... those were things his subconscious probably had desired at one point in time. Desires Shen Qingqiu never acknowledged.

After being dismissed with the promise of avenging his honor – whatever that meant, Shen Jiu decided to take a stroll around the peak.

There was a little pool surrounded by tall bamboo Shen Qingqiu used to frequently visit for some tranquility. The gentle breeze ruffled the bamboo leaves, and their light scent reached his nose. The moon was reflecting on the calm water, illuminating his surroundings.

Everything looked exactly like he remembered it.

After a couple of beats, enough to make sure that no one was around, Shen Jiu eventually stripped out of his disciple robes.

This used to be Shen Qingqiu's little safe space, and probably the only one on the entire peak. At the time, he did make an array to keep it hidden and to alert him of intruders. Back then, he had been overly paranoid, to the point where he wholeheartedly believed his own disciples to be out to get him. They eventually did, but that wasn’t the point.

The pool used to be the only place where he could hide from society and just be. This was the only place where no one could judge him, where no one could harm or sent ill thoughts toward him. Here, Shen Qingqiu could take a breath without worrying or be paranoid of people’s stares. Even during his disciple days, rarely would someone come over, and his Shizun, ever since learning Shen Jiu's newfound little heaven, had steered away.

As soon as he was fully immersed up to the neck, his shoulders relaxed, the cool water soothing away the stress of the day right away. Closing his eyes, Shen Jiu leaned against the smooth rock behind him, tilting his head up to allow the rays of moonlight hit his face.

It was always a stress whenever important events approached, especially if they implied the release of a new album.

His latest creation was a mix of modern and traditional, with intricate dancing moves that Shen Jiu practiced until collapsing. His stamina wasn't as good as the agency's designated dancers, but it was good enough to endure five hours of practice, with few breaks in-between. Everyone complained about his tendencies of overworking himself, many even joking around about him dying young because of it. But Shen Jiu was a perfectionist.

Unlike Shen Qingqiu or Xiao Jiu, Shen Jiu's new life was full of privileges.

Born to talented parents, both famous musicians belonging to Xiang Xuanlu National Orchestra since their youths, it wasn't much of a surprise how Shen Jiu too ended up in the music industry. A musical prodigy, a genius of the four ancient arts, it was no wonder how by his early twenties he was given the title of China's National Treasure.

At first glance, one could say that it was thanks to his parent's backgrounds that Shen Jiu became as famous as he was, but upon closer inspection, anyone could see how much work, time, and passion he had put into perfecting his skills. No one was born talented, and that was true even for someone as privileged as Shen Jiu.

Since the day Shen Jiu learned about his parents career, he took an interest as well. It began with playing with the instruments around the house, then by spending hours watching them practice, escalating into trying to imitate his mother's singing, acting as a background singer much to her amusement. When Shen Xiangmei and Han Yuxuan realized that his interest was serious -and mind you, he was barely five at the time- they were quick to shower him with their full support and cheers. Of course, as parents, they would've accepted anything he wished to become, but knowing that their only child wished to follow in their footsteps had brought them enormous joy.

After that, Shen Jiu spent most of his time balancing his childhood and adolescence with his parents, school, learning various instruments, and singing.

In the very beginning, he had been taken under the tutelage and guidance of Xiang Xuanlu National Orchestra, but after a dinner party celebrating their latest award, Shen Jiu's knowledge about the four ancient arts caught the attention of the Ministry of Culture. It wasn't unusual for them to come to events related to Xiang Xuanlu since they administered and endorsed the organization. Visits among the ministry members and musicians happened fairly often.

What was unusual, however, was the Ministry of Culture members picking up a child and deciding to invest in his studies. And how couldn't they? A child, barely eight years old already knew how to play medium-complex songs on two different instruments and knew about the four ancient arts! They couldn't possibly pass such an opportunity!

If Shen Xiangmei and Han Yuxuan used to financially sustain their son, once the Ministry of Culture intervened they didn't have to spend a single yuan on anything regarding Shen Jiu. Lessons, clothes, health check-ups, school, everything was paid for by the Ministry of Culture. His parents took advantage of the situation to save up a large sum of money for Shen Jiu to inherit once he'll be eighteen, and to build the house of their dreams.

At the age of eleven, he was then taken under the wing of Chen Lu Media Records Corporation -this one too endorsed by the Ministry of Culture-. Here, Shen Jiu tapped into the next stage: broadening, shaping, and perfecting his already existing skills. With them, Shen Jiu learned about public image, personalities in the entertainment industry, etiquette, music production, acting, singing, and foreign languages. Considered a natural talent, it didn't take him long to achieve perfection, and by the age of seventeen, Shen Jiu debuted.

His success had been steady, growing as months went by, catching the attention of both men and women, young and old. Releasing hit after hit, with a growing fanbase, after only five years since his debut, Shen Jiu officially became known as the National Treasure of China.

But in this dream, he wasn't Shen Jiu, the lucky and loved idol, or the musical prodigy, treasure of China. Neither was he the beloved, caring son of two wonderful parents.

He was Shen Qingqiu, the most loathed man in the cultivation world. And if one took another layer off, they would see little nine, a street rat with too many traumas to count, too broken to be salvageable. Something that was better off dead than being kept around.

Shen Jiu would have likely spent the entire night torturing himself with memories of his past life, had he not sensed the presence of an additional Qi. He wasn’t that worried. It could have been Luo Binghe for all he cared and Shen Jiu wouldn’t have batted an eye. Those dreams always ended up the same, with his limbs torn apart. Avoiding facing such horrors was a fruitless endeavor.

Still, Shen Jiu straightened his back, tilting his head to the side, catching sight if white and blue robes. His eyes almost rolled back in annoyance.

"I hope Liu-shidi has a reasonable explanation as to why he's interrupting this one's bath at such late hour."

There were some beats of silence, which further aggravated him. After unceremoniously interrupting his leisure time, the least Liu Qingge could do was talk.

Realizing that his bath had to be cut short, Shen Jiu moved to exit the pool. Thankfully, Liu Qingge had the decency to turn around and give him the needed privacy.

Shen Jiu calmly grabbed a drying talisman -he forgot how convenient they were. Too bad they were useless in the world he currently lived in- and after drying his body and hair, he began dressing, lazily tying the first layer.

He moved toward Liu Qingge. There was a suspicious pink hue on the tip of his ears that caught his attention, one that would have not been seen had he not been a cultivator.

"I-..." Liu Qingge sounded weird. As if someone was strangling him. "Shen Qingqiu, what are you scheming?" there was a pitch in his voice, a little crack that would have made Shen Jiu sardonically laugh, maybe even mock him. But-

Scheming.

He had been accused of that too.

Shen Qingqiu never schemed against his martial siblings, only against outsiders. But no matter what he did, or how he did it, they always doubted his intentions. Always treading around him as if Shen Qingqiu would stab them at any given opportunity.

Ungrateful. That's how Shen Jiu could best describe them. After years of cleaning up their messes, after years of slaving in the background to ensure Cang Qiong's growth in both notoriety and reputation, he had been repaid with betrayals and cheers for his ungraceful downfall.

He could understand Luo Binghe. That beast had suffered under someone who was supposed to teach and protect him, his revenge -as cruel as it had been, far more cruel than Shen Qingqiu’s despicable self, the desire to see his tormentor be brought down, was understandable. Shen Jiu had been in his shoes long ago. And he knew how satifying it had been to see Qiu Jianluo dead, and his wretched house burned down. Luo Binghe – Shen Jiu could understand his motivations.

But his martial siblings, whom received a couple of snappy comments here and there, didn’t have the right to seek revenge. Testifying against him at the trial, when they knew nothing about him or how he lived, or what he did in the privacy of his house… - that had been a low blow. Not unexpected, truly, but still.

Shen Jiu couldn’t deny how betrayed he felt when one by one the Cang Qiong Peak Lords added to his already lengthy list of charges. Painting a far worse image than the past reality. Yes, Shen Qingqiu had been paranoid. Yes, Shen Qingqiu had killed and set on fire the Qiu. Yes, Shen Qingqiu had “trained” under a demonic cultivator, killing and stealing out for his own survival. But Shen Qingqiu had never plotted with demons. Shen Qingqiu hadn’t killed Liu Qingge. Shen Qingqiu had never touched or disrespected women in any of his lives. Shen Qingqiu never made advances on his disciples.

As cruel and as paranoid as Shen Jiu had been back in his past life, he would have never done anything that would have brought Cang Qiong down on its knees. He would have never taken a shovel to dig the grave of a fellow peak colleague just because they didn’t see eye to eye.

Living life being watched wasn’t something he was unused to. But where in waking life people did it to learn more about him and maybe get a juicy scandal about his nonexistent dating life, here people were hungry for something to condemn him for. If Shen Jiu could, he would choose paparazzi over anyone on Cang Qiong.

He took in a deep breath, slowly exhaling to expel the anger slithering under his skin.

Shen Qingqiu had never schemed against his martial siblings.

But this Shen Jiu was a different story.

Shen Qingqiu had cared about his sect even when he was nothing but a human stick. That’s why he had warned Yue Qingyuan, only to be ignored. As usual.

This Shen Jiu however, stopped caring about Cang Qiong when he had been reborn.

If it’s only through a miserable dream he can get some vindication, then Shen Jiu will take full advantage of it. Even if by the end of it he will be once again turned into a human stick.

With a new resolution, Shen Jiu closed the distance between himself and the Bai Zhan head disciple, arms circling his waist while his palms felt around the pecs. Again, he had to mentally praise the other man for his physique. Broad shoulders, a whole six-peck, thick, firm arms decorated with pretty muscles, and a face worthy of poems and endless love songs.

Too bad it was attached to an annoying soul named Liu Qingge.

"What does Liu-shidi think? Is this one scheming or not?" his left cheek rested against the back of his shoulder, hands exploring around, sometimes teasing the sash. It was tied into a neat ribbon, which Shen Jiu proceeded to pull at, weakening the knot. Liu Qingge stiffened under his touch.

"Shen Qingqiu!"

"I believe this one has already stated his hatred for that name." Shen Jiu clicked his tongue in annoyance. The hold on Liu Qingge dropped, and along with it, his mood as well. Swiftly, Shen Jiu turned around to put on the rest of his robes. "I see that this one is undeserving of the minimum show of respect. To answer your question, I'm not scheming shit. Heaven only knows why I'm still wasting my time on this damn mountain!"

Thank fuck for the reality check, otherwise Shen Jiu would've forgotten that this was a nightmare and not a wet dream.

"Wait- Shen-shixiong!" Liu Qingge gripped his elbow. Shen Jiu tilted his head a little to look at him, annoyed and bored. Liu Qingge was suspiciously blushing, looking anywhere but his face, obviously conflicted.

However, Shen Jiu was too tired for any more games.

"Liu-shidi, it's late. Leave."

"I didn't mean to upset you! I- Just... Shen-shixiong has been weird, and-” for a moment, Liu Qingge seemed to struggle finding his words. “I thought you liked women.”

Shixiong... so now he decided to call him that?

Were had that respect been when Shen Qingqiu wanted it? Where was that respect when he needed it the most?

Peh!

It was a dream after all. Realistically speaking, Liu Qingge would rather bash his head open with his bare hands than ever call him that. Still, one can indulge a little once in a while.

"Indeed. I used to prefer their company."

"Then why-"

"They are safe. Or at least, that's how I used to perceive them."

Qiu Haitang, Liu Mingyan, Ning Yingying, and the Palace Master's daughter helped him realize how wrong he had been. Women could be just as vicious as men, if not worse. The psychological abuse he suffered at their hands put Luo Binghe's torture to shame. Due to all those rotten people, his mother had to suffer because Shen Jiu was too scared to let her hold him. Just remembering how his mother cried and begged for forgiveness – for things she never did, always pulled at his heartstrings. Whenever thinking back on the suffering his mother had to go through just to hold him, filled Shen Jiu with rage.

"Is it so hard to believe that this shixiong might be attracted to men?"

Liu Qingge shuffled on his feet. He was still holding onto his elbow, but his cheeks were so red and so cute it was quite endearin- annoying.

It was annoying.

"Why did you... earlier..."

Shen Jiu refrained, once again, from rolling his eyes. With all those rolls and side eyes they might end up getting stuck in the back.

"Liu-shidi, I'm not blind. And I like pretty things. You happen to be one as well" he eventually said, shrugging noncommittally.

Seeing as Liu Qingge wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon, Shen Jiu's eyes narrowed, closing once again the distance.

How sus.

Liu Qingge was too suspicious to let him freely roam around Qing Jing Peak. He looked expectant, eager. And it made Shen Jiu wary of his intentions.

"Can shidi tell this shixiong why he's here? I doubt you've come all the way here for a simple chit-chat."

Seeing as the other chose to embrace silence, Shen Jiu took his time to examine him.

Furrowed brows, lips pressed into a thin line, cheeks, neck, and ears dusted in pink, body tense... he wasn't new to that type of body language.

Shen Jiu had his fair share of dating back when he had been a trainee. They had been mostly secret getaways, short and brief. Ever since choosing the musical career path, he had always been more focused on perfecting his skills than seeking little pleasures. But a little break here and there were always welcomed. Especially to get rid of accumulated stress.

That method wasn’t exactly Shen Jiu’s preferred choice to deal with stress, but it did end up stopping the nightmares. It turned out, tiring the body and mind kept him away the repressed memories from surfacing, besides, he always chose his partners wisely, ensuring that no one would fight him for dominance.

Deciding to risk it, Shen Jiu brought his arms around the other's neck. Liu Qingge made no move to pull away, the smallest sign of reaction being a sucked-in breath.

"I see" Shen Jiu hummed, letting one hand slide up the back of his head, gently pushing him down. "If Liu-shidi wants to unwind, all he has to do is ask. This shixiong is more than happy to provide." and to eventually use it to humiliate him for, was left unsaid. Then, their lips pressed. Gentle at first, feathery-like. Soft, warm. A little dry, but still sweet.

Until Shen Jiu remembered who exactly he was kissing.

No matter how much he tried, he couldn’t forget the accusations, the scorn, the insults smearing his name wherever he went. No matter how much time passed, no matter how now he was in a better place mentally, Shen Jiu had been, was, and will always be spiteful at his core.

Wrong him once, and he will give it back ten folds. Show him kindness, and he will give it back a thousand folds. Liu Qingge, sadly, belonged to the first category.

With newfound bitterness, Shen Jiu bit down on his lower lip. Hard. Liu Qingge winced, but otherwise said nothing about it, if anything, he closed his eyes, letting Shen Jiu take the lead. Holding him in place, Shen Jiu moved backwards, until his back rested against the smooth boulder near the lake, keeping their mouths locked into a sinful exploration.

However, their smooching session didn’t last long.

Li Nanchen somehow manifested from thin air, as fierce as a northern wind, and as blazed as the flames of wildfire, ready to engulf and burn everything in its sight. And the positions he found them in, was as indecent as one deserving to be depicted only in a yellow book.

Shen Jiu’s back was flushed against the smooth rock, while Liu Qingge was standing over him, in between his thighs while his tongue was down his disciple’s throat. Shen Jiu’s robes were loosened, the top part pooling at his elbows.

Much to the Qing Jing Peak Lord’s aghast, Liu Qingge chose that moment to move and suck his disciple’s collarbone, gradually getting dangerously close to the forbidden buds. Shen Jiu, just as unaware as the other, tugged on Liu Qingge’s ponytail, guiding him back up for another kiss. It was Liu Qingge’s attempt to further loosen his disciple’s robes that snapped Li Nanchen into action, fury burning under his skin like a scorching fire, ready to whip the insolence out of that-

"Filthy beast!"

Shen Jiu cracked  one eye open, only to see his furious Shizun making his way toward them with the disciplinary whip tightly secured in his right hand. His strides were long and firm, a notable aggressiveness in his march, as if ready to enter the battlefield. His eyes too were dripping with malice, mostly fixated on the uninvited guest.

Oh.

That… wasn’t looking good. At all.

He nudged Liu Qingge, which was still pecking his jaw and neck with small, kitten pecks.

“I suggest shidi to start running. Shizun can be quite-” Shen Jiu grinned, “aggressive when provoked.”

“I can fight him.”

Shen Jiu scoffed, slightly amused by the stupidly bold statement.

“As much as this shixiong would love to see you beaten to a pulp, I’d rather have Liu-shidi alive. Now run back to your peak.”

Li Nanchen was getting closer, and with one last, loud kiss, Liu Qingge finally flew away. Seeing the Bai Zhan head disciple finally gone from his nest, Li Nanchen focused his furious eyes on his head disciple, speed-walking until he was in front of the youth. With fury still to be subsided, he began fixing Shen Jiu's robes, glaring holes through the bites and sucks Liu Qingge left behind on his head disciple’s otherwise unmarred skin.

Before dragging Shen Jiu back into the safety of his house, Li Nanchen stared into his eyes, pissed beyond reasoning.

"You're grounded."

When Li Nanchen uttered those words, Shen Jiu hadn’t known how serious they would be.

As soon as they stepped foot into the Peak Lord’s residence, Li Nanchen summoned a random disciple to move everything Shen Jiu owned from the disciple’s quarters into the unused room inside the bamboo house - at which Shen Jiu sheepishly informed the disciple to not bother with the dorms, and go straight to the woodshed.

“You’ve been sleeping in the woodshed?” Li Nanchen inquired, staring at him with a look Shen Jiu couldn’t pinpoint.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Shen Jiu shrugged. “Feels safer. Less chances of being taken advantage of.”

Some things felt easier said in dreams.

In the waking life, Shen Jiu had people he could confide in, like his mother and friends. His circle was small, but valuable. But even then it was hard to admit to certain things. Back in his first life he had somewhat trusted his mentor. Li Nanchen had been the only person on the entire peak that wanted Shen Jiu, the only one to see potential in him. Shen Qingqiu hadn’t been disliked only by his fellow martial sibling, but also by the other Peak Lords. He still remembered one instance he had to regrettably witness, when some peak lords accosted Li Nanchen and questioned his judgment, repeatedly asking if he was sure about his choice for the head disciple position. Although his Shizun had shut them down immediately, Shen Jiu could never forget the wary, distrustful glares aimed at him.

Despite the clear favoritism Li Nanchen showed, Shen Jiu of the past never acknowledged it, too focused on chasing after Yue Qingyuan’s explanation. Not only. He had been far too wrapped up into training to catch up with his peers, too busy chasing power and a stable position, desperately trying to be able to stand on equal grounds with Yue Qi to pay attention to anything else.

Instead of doing something for himself, instead of living life for himself, he had chosen to waste it all by following Yue Qingyuan. Again, and again.

Back then, it felt natural to convince himself he needed to be with Qi-ge to live comfortably, but now, after learning what living truly felt like, Yue Qingyuan was no longer a Shen Jiu problem. They had been children. The promise Yue Qi made was childish, meant to be broken from the very beginning.

It had been Shen Jiu’s fault for believing in it.

“Sit.” Li Nanchen lightly touched his shoulder, pulling out a pillow from underneath the tea table. Shen Jiu silently complied.

The elder then sat behind him, the scent of peppermint reaching Shen Jiu’s nose. Li Nanchen began to apply ointment over the bruises from the earlier spars, gradually rotating around to the front, reaching for the ones Liu Qingge left behind. From the twitch of his brows, Shen Jiu knew Li Nanchen was growing uneasy and irritated, scowling at the now purple sucks.

When seeing the fresh ones, Li Nanchen eventually began muttering various, colorful insults, cussing out Bai Zhan’s existence.

“You’re allowed to leave Qing Jing only under my supervision. And if not available, then it must be a hallmaster. You’re forbidden from approaching that animal. If I see one more bruise on you I will personally throw everyone down the abyss!”

Unable to keep a smile at bay, Shen Jiu nodded.

How different would his past life have been if Li Nanchen had been like this?

To many it might seem exaggerated, maybe even oppressive, but to Shen Jiu? It showed that someone cared. A little twisted, maybe, but his parents weren’t that much different. Growing up, Shen Jiu had been allowed to do anything he wanted. He had the freedom to talk to whoever, and do whatever he wished, but both his mother and father would ground him if he did something he wasn’t supposed to, explaining why and how he did wrong.

And, maybe, if Shen Qingqiu had had at least one person who had shown him that much care, someone like a parental figure, someone who could have taught him what care and affection truly felt like, maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t have turned out the way he did. But that was impossible.

As much as Li Nanchen favored him, he had also kept his distance. Never inquiring about his well being, never asking how his days were, if he had difficulties, if he needed something.

And why would he?

Shen Qingqiu had been his successor. Complaining about anything was unbecoming for a future Peak Lord.

Yet… since this was a dream, was it okay to indulge a little?

He already took liberties with Liu Qingge, so… could he do the same with his shizun?

Slowly, and carefully, Shen Jiu leaned into Li Nanchen’s right shoulder, closing his eyes. If he made abstraction of his surroundings, it could almost feel as if he was with his father.

“Qingqiu?”

“Shizun is like an overprotective parent. I like it.” Shen Jiu mumbled, light and with a spark of melancholy.

There was a beat of silence following, minutes in which Shen Jiu imagined to awake, at home, under the care of his parents. Then, he reopened his eyes as he felt hands rubbing up and down his arms, slowly and gently. Such a familiar gesture… was he allowed to indulge? He never had a dream person comfort him. It was… different, yet, strikingly familiar.

“Qingqiu, you… don’t have a family?”

Shen Jiu faintly shook his head.

“Not in this life.” not until he wakes up.

Oh, God.

Great.

Now he missed his parents.

He should feel embarrassed for being so attached to them. As an old soul with plenty of life experience, he shouldn’t be this emotional. But, could his past life be really considered as such, when he lived only for hating and being hated?

Whenever he had nightmares he would always call one of them, his mother especially seemed to have a sixth sense whenever Shen Jiu was emotionally distressed.

But now?

Now he was alone, stuck in a stupid dream where he will soon be forced to relive the pathetic events of his first life. What he hated most was the inability to control them, never having the ability to change the course of actions. Worst off, he couldn’t just manifest his mother out of nowhere to soothe his worries.

He was all alone.

With no one on his side. He will be forced to undergo that humiliating trial again, facing the world’s hatred for him, with no one on his side while Luo Binghe dismembered him limb by limb. And he couldn’t stop that unless he was somehow startled awake.

“Qingqiu?”

There was a thumb wiping away the tears straining his cheeks, and Shen Jiu realized that he was crying.

Heavens, that was even more embarrassing. A grown up, at the ripe age of twenty-three, was crying like a snotty toddler because he missed his parents.

But he was tired. His life was already stressful enough, and his perfection-complex wasn’t helping anyone. He didn’t need those stupid dreams, those constant reminders of how deplorable and miserable he and his past life had been.

“I don’t like that name.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t like it.”

Li Nanchen run his fingers through Shen Jiu’s hair, while his other hand pulled him into a hug, resting his chin on top of his head.

Shen Jiu’s waterworks had to be cursed seeing how easily he resumed crying from a simple hug – this time fully hiding his face into Li Nanchen’s shoulder.

Gods forbid anyone seeing him ugly-cry, sobbing like he was some twelve year old rejected by his crush. That would be extremely unflattering and mortifying.

“Alright. I won’t call you that anymore.”

Shen Jiu stared long and hard at the mirror.

His eyes were red and puffy, a clear indicator of how he had cried himself to sleep using Li Nanchen’s shoulder. Shen Jiu couldn’t help but feel aggravated at the unsightly display, internally cringing at the thought of tears and snot he potentially left on his Shizun’s robes.

Embarrassing.

As a further humiliation, Li Nanchen held him through the night, and by the time Shen Jiu woke, the elder was still holding him. One arm supporting his back, while the other scribbled away, doing whatever paperwork a peak lord was required to do.

When Shen Jiu stirred awake, Li Nanchen promptly called for breakfast, and both ate at the same table – something they never did back in the past. And now, here he was, sitting in front of Li Nanchen’s exquisite mirror while the elder did his hair.

Shen Jiu narrowed his eyes, suspicion creeping under his skin.

What if… he had some control over this particular dream?

It would make sense. He had spent so much energy wishing for one of his parents to be here, that his mind probably shaped the personality of his former mentor closer to his mother’s behavior.

Should he test it out? But how?

Li Nanchen had a soft smile on his face, tenderly and carefully tying an embroidered pine green ribbon around Shen Jiu’s half-bun, strikingly similar to the one the elder wore.

“I’ll be off the peak for the majority of the day. Do you need something from the market?”

Shen Jiu blinked. That too reminded him of his mother.

“…no. I’m-, I’m alright.”

“Very well then.” Li Nanchen fixed the front strands, looking at Shen Jiu through the mirror, admiring his work. The elder hummed satisfied, gently patting the top of his head.

Li Nanchen took a qiankun pouch from the nearby table, moving toward the door. Before leaving, he turned one last time toward Shen Jiu.

“Remember you’re grounded. If you need something off the peak send one of your shixiongs, and if they complain, tell me.”

Shen Jiu nodded, following him to the entrance. Li Nanchen softly patted his cheek one last time, offering a warm smile.

So many pats… Li Nanchen had never done that before.

“Be good. And stay away from that brute, heavens only knows the depravity that scoundrel is capable of.”

Dazed, Shen Jiu only managed a weak hum, and an equally weak nod.

That was scarily similar to his mother’s behavior. It-

It felt like as if a heavy burden had just been lifted from his shoulders.

He had some control over the dream, meaning, he can avoid those ugly memories if he tried hard enough.

Now that was a blessing in disguise!

For the first half of the day, Shen Jiu busied himself with organizing his new room.

Li Nanchen had made that unfortunate disciple clean it in the middle of the night, something Shen Jiu knew will eventually come to bite him in the ass. It always did.

He pulled out from his worn out qiankun pouch his belongings, tastefully rearranging them around. He didn’t have a lot, some books, parchment, talismans, and some blocks of ink. Back home, he had a full wall with shelves dedicated to his trophies and awards, feeling proud of his achievements, and the rest of the house was decorated with family pictures, trinkets from his childhood, and many more personal things Shen Jiu enjoyed doing in his free time.

Here, he had nothing.

The room was still bare, showing exactly what little values he had in this place. Back then, he had collected artifacts and small treasures, trying his hardest to appear something he was not, to hide his shameful past and be seen as an equal to his fellow peak lords. Shen Jiu used to both admire and hate Yue Qi’s ability to integrate so smoothly with the others. Envying how Yue Qingyuan’s background didn’t seem to affect his notoriety and potential.

But then again, Yue Qi had entered the sect at the right time. He hadn’t suffered all the horrors Qiu Jianluo subjected Shen Jiu to, nor had he been forced to ruin his cultivation by stupidly following a demonic cultivator. Yue Qi had been a blessed child, even as a slave. Shen Jiu on the other hand, should have died on the spot.

For a moment, Shen Jiu wondered what would his former martial siblings do if one day they were to be thrown back in the past with their memories.

Would they make it their mission to avoid Shen Jiu entering the sect?

Would they tell their Shizuns what happened and make it so Shen Jiu will never be able to cultivate?

Would they try to find him to kill him before anything could happen?

Would they-

A knock on glass startled him out of his thoughts.

Shen Jiu took in a breath, turning to look at the window, locking eyes with a Liu Qingge that looked as if he had fought wild bears all night long.

After Li Nanchen left Qing Jing Peak, his first stop had been Bai Zhan Peak. His intentions were as clear as the sky. One just had to look at his cold eyes fixed on the Bai Zhan Peak Lord’s abode to understand his objective.

Disciples bowed in fear at the presence of the sect’s strategist, getting out of his way as he walked with decisive steps toward his intended target.

By the time the Lord of the Peak welcomed him, Li Nanchen began his verbal slaughter. And in mere minutes, he had verbally annihilated Zhao Nanfang, using  only  words to drag him into the mud, leaving him ashamed and humiliated by the time the scholar left to run his errands.

Consequently, Zhao Nanfang trashed Liu Qingge, almost scrubbing the ground with the other. Even if Liu Qingge was already eighteen, having already won against Zhao Nanfang a couple of times, he hadn’t been spared from the lecture that followed. And for two hours he had to listen about the importance of etiquette, ramblings about Li-shibo, dating advices, whining about Li-shibo, a guide on how to properly court a Qing Jing scholar, and more ramblings about Li-shibo’s acerbic tongue, along with some mutters his Shizun said about ‘putting it to better use’.

Overall, the trashing had been brutal, but not enough to deter Liu Qingge from visiting Qing Jing Peak. More specifically, to meet a certain someone he itched to see ever since their forced separation.

“At least have the decency of taking a shower before seeing me. You’re covered in dirt!” Shen Jiu huffed, eyeing Liu Qingge up and down. “Did you get mauled by a beast?”

Liu Qingge shook his head, cheeks rosy as he noticed the difference between himself and Shen Jiu. “Fought Shizun.” was all he said.

Shen Jiu sighed.

“So? What do I owe the unexpected visit?”

Liu Qingge frowned. His cheeks and ears were still flushed, from what Shen Jiu assumed a brutal training session with Zhao-shibo. Those two never held back their strength, more than once had An Ding Peak been forced to fix their training grounds.

“Liu-shidi, you’re supposed to answer.”

Liu Qingge snapped back to attention. “Yesterday!”

For a moment, Shen Jiu was confused. Then he blinked, slowly, eyes narrowing in distrust. “Is shidi here to accuse this shixiong of something else?” it wouldn’t be anything new. There wasn’t one peak lord that hasn’t accused him of something. Shang Qinghua maybe.

And hadn’t that been a surprise? The rat that betrayed the sect, the true scheming bastard, had been the only one to never accuse Shen Qingqiu of something. Although he knew Shang Qinghua was the reason many of his past deeds had been uncovered. After all, there was no way Qiu Haitang could have known how Shen Jiu left with Wu Yanzi. Because Shen Jiu never confided his intentions to her, and during the Qiu massacre she had been absent, and then unconscious to see everything Shen Jiu did. However, Shang Qinghua did have the means and wits to learn about his past. Besides, wasn't it too much of a coincidence how she just happened to be in Jian Lian? Yeah, Shen Jiu was sure Shang Qinghua leaked that information to her. That, or Shang Qinghua informed Mobei Jun, which then informed Luo Binghe, which then informed Qiu Haitang. Whichever the case, Shang Qinghua was much more of a schemer compared to Shen Qingqiu. 

“No!”

“Then? What does Liu-shidi want from this one? This shixiong is not in the mood to fight, you’re only going to waste your time-”

“The kiss! I’m- This shidi is-….” Shen Jiu’s eyes sparkled with interest at seeing Liu Qingge flustered. Was his mind this powerful he could make a one-eighty degree change in the brute’s personality? And if so, were there any limits? How far could Shen Jiu reshape someone in this dream?

“So, what shidi is saying, is that he wants shixiong to kiss him again?”

Liu Qingge’s face was now burning, avoiding eye-contact by glaring down at the grass under his boots.

“Unfortunately, Liu-shidi is dirty. Maybe if he cleans up nicely, this shixiong will play with him.”

“!!”

A surprised Liu Qingge was unexpectedly cute.

“Go to the pool, this shixiong will bring some spare robes and cleaning talismans.”

Liu Qingge nodded, turning around to walk down the path leading to the pool, while Shen Jiu used his fan to hide his grin. From the corner of his eye he saw two of his former bullies. In the past, they had the galls to attack him only because Li Nanchen wouldn’t be able to see the wounds. Not only was Shen Jiu now living under the same roof as the Peak Lord, but if Shen Jiu managed to show off his ability to bring Liu Qingge down to his knees, he could avoid anymore problems with them.

After all, Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge were the most respected and venerated among their generation. Bring one down, and you were guaranteed respect, no matter how unpleasant someone's personality was. 

He didn’t need to provoke them to have them follow him. Even from afar, Shen Jiu could see them all excited, ready to witness yet another day of Shen Jiu being beaten black and blue by Liu Qingge, the second strongest cultivator among their generation.

Shen Jiu’s grin twisted maliciously.

He’ll make sure to give them an unforgettable show.

“I only have Jasmine oil so be happy with that.” Shen Jiu said, rubbing the oil in his palms before combing through Liu Qingge’s freshly dried hair with his fingers, evenly spreading the oil along the strands.

Liu Qingge sat quietly in front of him, cross-legged, dressed in a pair of pants and a simple robe with an equally simple embroidery. Shen Jiu didn’t see the need for more layers, since he was planning of shedding them away.

“Do say shidi, what exactly are you expecting from this shixiong?”

“…”

“Shidi needs to communicate, otherwise this shixiong won’t know what he is supposed to do. Aside kisses, what else does shidi want?”

Liu Qingge tensed. Shen Jiu repressed the need to snap at him. Even if he had some control over the dream, nothing assured him it won’t quickly take a detour for the worst. He’d rather keep whatever-this-was going on, than have the scenery suddenly change to the water prison.

Seeing as the other wasn’t planning on speaking, Shen Jiu nimble fingers moved down the side of his neck, coming to a stop on the shoulders. His thumbs began pressing against the tenseness, rubbing in circular motions above the robe. That seemed to be the right thing to do since Liu Qingge’s body relaxed.

“Let’s take it easy, hn?” Shen Jiu eventually said, leaning over Liu Qingge’s shoulder giving his cheek a feather-light peck. Liu Qingge looked at him, body moving to face the other. “Shidi should be grateful.” Shen Jiu said, slowly pushing the other down on the grass, straddling his hips. “This shixiong is generous to play with you, despite showing up empty handed. Shouldn’t you be thanking me?”

Skillfully, Shen Jiu untied the sash, palms feeling Liu Qingge’s burning skin, pads ocassionaly pressing into the dips of his muscles. Shen Jiu was pretty sure he already thought that, but Liu Qingge’s body truly felt and looked like as if sculpted by the Gods themselves. Chiseled muscles after years of training and fighting wild beasts, calloused hands used for handling swords, well-defined abs Shen Jiu was tempted to use like a washboard… would dream Liu Qingge let him test that out?

“Does shidi have any limits?”

Liu Qingge frowned, shaking his head. “No.”

“This shixiong can do anything he pleases?”

“Yes.”

Fascinating. Was that the case?

“Maybe you didn’t understand the first time around. Is this shixiong permitted to do anything he wants to Liu-shidi?”

“Yes! Just get on-!”

Shen Jiu’s fingers trailed down his torso a couple of times, watching Liu Qingge growing a furious red whenever teasing his nipples with his thumbs. Then, Shen Jiu pinched them.

“If that’s the case, then shidi better follow what I say.”

Liu Qingge breath hitched as he twisted the buds, pinching them harder.

Shen Jiu won't voice it, but it was a little annoying how dream Liu Qingge acted like a virgin. He wouldn’t have minded if this one had been with experience. Shen Jiu didn’t like being a dom, mostly because it required a lot of physical effort. It was easier to be the bottom: spread the legs and let the other do all the work.

But, he will make a little sacrifice this time around, if only to train Liu Qingge, and enact his petty revenge. It wasn’t as if he was truly going to traumatize anyone with some public sex. This was a dream, an uncomfortable one, but a dream nonetheless. None of the people around him were real. It wasn’t as if him turning the War God of Bai Zhan into his little bitch would affect the brute in real life. And even if that were the case, most probably than not Shen Qingqiu would end up being shamed for the immoral behavior. Maybe even accused of ‘bewitching’ the respectable, does-no-wrong Liu Qingge.

“Open your mouth.” Shen Jiu demanded, cold and unfeeling. Liu Qingge complied.

“Good boy. Now stick out your tongue.”

Despite the obvious reluctance, Liu Qingge eventually obliged. Shen Jiu grinned again, leaning down to spit in his mouth. Liu Qingge’s eyes widened, filled with disbelief and bewilderment. What was that expression? Was he expecting Shen Jiu to be sweet and caring after all the humiliation he made him suffer?

Shen Jiu might not be physically strong to defeat him, but there were other means to knock someone down from a high horse.

“Shidi gave this shixiong permission to do anything he wanted. Or has shidi already forgotten?”

Liu Qingge flushed.

“Now swallow. Good boy.” Shen Jiu praised, watching the other’s adam’s apple bob. “Here’s the first lesson shidi. When Shixiong gives you something, you should say thank you. Always say thank you.”

But Liu Qingge remained silent. Flushed, obviously turned on, but silent. Shen Jiu wasn’t surprised. Liu Qingge had been a stubborn, arrogant one in the past. Dream or not, Shen Jiu still had a long way to go before Liu Qingge fully submitted to him.

“Has Liu-shidi ever pleased anyone before?”

Liu Qingge shook his head.

“Thought so.” Shen Jiu sighed, standing back up. “Kneel.”

“Shen Qing-”

“I said kneel, shidi.” Shen Jiu said, slightly more aggressive. “Get on your knees or I’ll leave.”

Shen Jiu stared down at him with cold eyes, almost bored as Liu Qingge eventually shifted into a kneeling position, hands clutching the borrowed robes. Defiant, yet aroused. This Liu Qingge was so open to read.

Gently, Shen Jiu cradled his head with the left hand, fingers gently massaging into the scalp, gradually coaxing the other closer to his hips. In a smooth movement, Shen Jiu’s free hand untied the sash, letting the robes fall open at his sides.

“Pull it out yourself.” Shen Jiu said, letting his right arm momentarily down. Liu Qingge briefly looked up at him, quickly returning to stare at the bulge in front of him. Inexperienced hands moved to pull down the pants, just enough for Shen Jiu’s half-hard cock to emerge.

“Good. Now, spit on it a couple of times, and use your hands to spread it around.” Shen Jiu titled his head to the side as Liu Qingge dutifully followed his instructions, ink black hair following the motion. From the corner of his eye, he finally caught sight of those two useless bullies of his, hiding quite far away from them, but not far enough to not see what was going on.

If Shen Jiu remembered correctly, the two were roughly the same age as him. Liu Qingge was eighteen, meaning that in this dream he was twenty-one. Not bad. In modern society some people end up watching porn way before puberty. Yellow books had been quite popular on Cang Qiong as well.

Shen Jiu looked back down at Liu Qingge, which was now clumsily rubbing his cock up and down.

With their cultivation, there was no doubt they would be able to see and hear everything. Shen Jiu couldn’t help but internally preen.

Let the show begin.

“Tongue out, shidi. Start from the base to the top.”

“Huh?”

Shen Jiu clicked his tongue, fisting Liu Qingge’s hair, harshly pushing his face forward. Liu Qingge took a sharp intake of breath at the sudden movement, the length of Shen Jiu’s cock now pressed right under his nose. Eventually, Liu Qingge stuck out his tongue, and with the flat side, dragged it up the length.

“Good.” Shen Jiu praised, wrapping his free hand around his dick, smearing the precum on Liu Qingge’s lower lip. A strangled noise was heard from him, but Shen Jiu paid it no mind as he pushed the tip inside his mouth. “In case shidi didn’t know, this is a blow job. While sucking, make sure to keep your teeth out of the way. Instead, use your tongue. Relax your throat and breath through your nose. Exactly, just like that.”

Once Liu Qingge relaxed, Shen Jiu pushed more. Little by little, Liu Qingge was eventually able to take a little more than half, stopping when the tip touched the back of his throat, gagging him. Shen Jiu pulled his head back. “Easy. Take it slow. You ok?”

Liu Qingge nodded, eyes lidded still fixated on the now fully hard cock. His hands slid on Shen Jiu’s thighs, clutching the fabric of his pants as he moved to take him back into his mouth.

It took a little while until Liu Qingge was able to get the gist of it, having to be reminded every now and then to be mindful of his teeth and to breath. When Liu Qingge was comfortable and relaxed around the intrusion, Shen Jiu began thrusting. Slow and shallow. Raptly watching as his cock disappeared into those pretty lips.

Hah.

To think that he would ever see the famed War God, the bane of his past life, knelt in front of him, sucking his cock in the open, were not far from him two other Qing Jing disciples were watching in what he hoped to be horror!

Dream or not, Shen Jiu won’t deny how hot it was to see this highborn, martial prodigy, one of his many haters on his knees, servicing him. Servicing Shen Qingqiu, the scum of both Cang Qiong and the cultivation world. He still couldn’t believe it! Liu Qingge, future War God of Bai Zhan, was sucking him off, swirling his tongue around his cock with flushed cheeks , glossed eyes, overall looking like a bullied maiden!

Then, Shen Jiu pulled his head back with a harsh tug, cock slipping out. A thin string of spit still connected the tip to Liu Qingge’s mouth. “This,” Shen Jiu began, teasingly tapping a couple of time Liu Qingge’s lower lip with the tip. “This is a much more suitable position for you. This shixiong admits the sight is quite arousing. Does shidi think he can handle something a little more rough?”

If Shen Jiu hadn’t known any better, with how red and squirmy the other was, he would have believed him to be running a fever. Liu Qingge nodded, just as Shen Jiu expected. Phrase something like a challenge, and the War God won’t refuse. So simple minded.

“Good.”

And so, without further ado, Shen Jiu began to fuck his mouth. Hard and fast. Each thrust forcing his cock deeper and deeper. Liu Qingge at some point began to imitate a swallow, forcing his throat to tighten around the tip. Shen Jiu threw his head back, groaning.

“Fuck, that’s it! Keep doing that!” He brought both hands to Liu Qingge's head, hastily pushing the hair away from his face. Then, he tugged at the strands, increasing the pace, giving harsher thrusts. Spit dibbled down Liu Qingge’s chin, facilitating the face-fucking. “Good, that’s good. Fuck! You’re good at this.”

Liu Qingge made a noise around his girth, but all it did was spurring Shen Jiu on. It didn’t take long after that for Shen Jiu to come down Liu Qingge’s throat. Shen Jiu moaned, finally having take the edge off, while Liu Qingge moaned at the felling of hot spurts of cum shot down his throat.

“Did Liu-shidi enjoy it?”

Liu Qingge dazedly dragged his eyes up, mouth still wrapped around the now softening dick. He made an affirmative noise, tiredly giving a nod. Shen Jiu felt a spark of softness at the sight, and eventually patted his head.

“Liu-shidi did a good job.” Liu Qingge whined as Shen Jiu pulled out, a ‘pop’ resounding as the other gave one final suck to the tip before departing. Ah, to see the righteous War God like this… his mind was truly amazing!

Lost in the momentary bliss, none of them noticed the two disciples scrambling away, faces stricken with shock and consternation. Shen Jiu briefly glanced toward their direction before focusing back on Liu Qingge. 

“Since shidi did great, this shixiong will now give him little reward. How does it sound?” Shen Jiu pulled off his pants, crouching until he was to Liu Qingge’s eye level. “Lean back shidi. Shixiong will ride you.”

Shen Jiu was no stranger to rumors.

In both lives, he had been at the center of them.

In the past, the rumors had been inflated, twisted in the worst way possible, painting him like some nefarious villain spreading terror and trauma like a lady-in-waiting throwing petals down the aisle. In the waking life, they weren’t that malign. In fact, they were innocuous. His fans would spread some theories here and there, going at each other’s throats because of who they shipped him with. The worst rumor Shen Jiu suffered in his current life, had been when his fans assumed him allergic to dust due to his obsession with cleanliness. Or that time someone spread the conspiratorial theory about Shen Jiu not being human, but a well-disguised succubus. And that happened because during one gala Shen Jiu befriended a rookie group of male idols, who ended up following him around like cute ducklings out of fear of getting lost. As much as Shen Jiu initially scoffed at the ridiculous rumor, it did end up being one of the themes he used for the next album. Which, as everyone expected, hit the top of the charts.

As his PR manager wisely said: “No one can resist a half-naked Shen Jiu, with smudged make up and bitten lips!”

As if.

People were just thirsty. He still couldn’t escape the filthy edits his fans kindly flooded the social media platforms. One would always sneak on his feed much to his chagrin.

So, it really was nothing new when Shen Jiu entered the common lunch room and every disciple present turned to look at him, whispering among themselves heaven only know what.

Shen Jiu moved to grab his tray and serve himself, ignoring them for the time being. His patience was thin, and as much as he tried to tune them out, he knew that if they kept things up like that he will eventually have to confront them.

Under the teachings and guidance of both his parents and agency, Shen Jiu learned that allowing rumors to fester, will never bring him anything good. Damage control was better than ignoring them. Something Shen Jiu never implemented as Shen Qingqiu. At the time, he never saw the need to rectify them, living with the premise that no matter what he said or didn’t, people will always assume and believe whatever they wanted. At the time, the idea of defending himself was no different than washing charcoal. Useless.

A forty year old soul having to relearn to live, dismantling old beliefs to make space for a brand new perspective hadn’t been easy. More than once had Shen Jiu struggled to understand why the people around him were so concerned with clarifying their actions and words. But whenever thinking of his past life, using a brand new lens to analyze his past actions, he eventually understood what people meant. Although Shen Jiu had already been aware that part of his downfall was mostly due to his own actions, he can’t deny that things would have ended just a tiny bit differently had he clarified some of the rumors.

However, crying over spilled milk was counterproductive. Nothing would change. What happened, happened. He can’t just wake up in the past and change his fate. All he could do, was to live his current life to its fullest, with more honesty, and strive to always be the best version of himself.

“Are you done?” Shen Jiu calmly addressed his former peers, looking each one in the eyes. They had to be quite forgettable since he legit couldn’t name one. Not even their faces looked familiar. “If you have something to say then feel free to do so. I won’t assure I’ll give a shit, but at least have the decency of saying things to my face instead of whispering like a hoard of gossip mongers. Have some dignity.”

The lunch room fell into an eerie silence.

Shen Jiu waited some minutes, giving them enough time to eventually retaliate or say something foul, but seeing as no one had the guts to utter a word, he made his way toward an empty table, far away from the bunch of snots.

Eating alone, without a phone in his hands, felt… weird. He had no means of entertaining himself, and he was growing bored at a rapid pace. If he thought hard enough, could his mind suddenly plop one in his hands?

“This master is quite surprised.” Li Nanchen said, sitting across from him, startling Shen Jiu out of his thoughts. “Jiu-er always ignored them. I thought you would never confront them on their bad habits.”

Shen Jiu sighed, lazily plopping his cheek on his palm, while the elbow rested on the table. “Their habits are none of my business. As long as they don’t spread false information I don’t care what they blab about.”

Li Nanchen smiled, placing a small cup filled with strawberries on his tray. “As scholars they should know better, and be aware of their surroundings. You never know who might hear.”

Shen Jiu shrugged, picking up one fruit. “If one day they piss off the wrong guy and get their limbs ripped off it’s not my problem. You reap what you sow.”

“Hn… Jiu-er seems familiar with that notion.”

If only he knew just how acquainted Shen Jiu truly was with that saying.

Just then did Shen Jiu notice the anomaly. Aside the eerie silence from the other disciples, everyone was looking at his table. Where their shizun sat.

Li Nanchen never stepped foot into the- dream. Right. Parental figure, or whatever.

Of course he would be here.

Oh, how he hated those types of dreams, looking so creepily realistic it even confused him for a second. What a hassle.

“Why is Shizun here? Did the disciple in charge of your meals forget to serve them?”

Li Nanchen blinked. Then, his smile widened. “Not at all. This master simply wanted to share one with Jiu-er.”

“Oh.”

“Shouldn’t Jiu-er eat a little more? Here, have my bowl of rice as well.” Li Nanchen passed him his ratio, moving to add even more vegetables on top. By the time the elder was done adding food on Shen Jiu’s already overfilled plates, Li Nanchen tray had only one portion of mapo tofu left.

“Shizun… that’s too much. I won’t be able to eat it all…”

“Jiu-er needs as much nutrients as possible. You’ll need them.”

“Why?”

“This one revised your training schedule, readjusting the regiment and exercises. Jiu-er should start having more consistent meals since things will become harder now.”

“A revise? For what?”

Li Nanchen hummed. “This master noticed something unusual with your energy flow. I requested an appointment with Wu Nanjian to get a proper diagnose of your spiritual veins.”

Fuck. 

“Why?”

Li Nanchen gave him a smile Shen Jiu knew was hiding something.

“We will discuss everything in detail after we visit Wu-shidi. This one promises to explain everything in due time.”

As Shen Jiu embroidered a pattern of flowers on the new set of robes his shizun bought him, he couldn’t help but think back on the conversation they had back at the cafeteria. Lunch room, or whatever was it called back then.

Something unusual with his energy flow...

Shen Jiu knew exactly what Li Nanchen meant.

He had always known that there used to be a serios problem with his cultivation, and he knew it had been due to his late start and the demonic cultivation he dabbled in. That was exactly why he never allowed anyone too close. Yue Qingyuan already knew Shen Jiu’s brief history with Wu Yanzi, and that alone was the sole reason he allowed the traitor to transfer him qi. As Shen Qingqiu, he did everything in his power to avoid Cang Qiao, especially Mu Qingfang. And when Li Nanchen took him in as a Qing Jing disciple, his veins had never been checked. Even when Shen Jiu had been malnourished and bruised, no one ever offered to check on his health. Dream or not, Shen Jiu still has pride, and he doesn't wish for them to find out just how fucked up his spiritual veins were due to the demonic cultivation he practiced in the past. 

Li Nanchen wanted to actively help him, and if two peak lords worked to restore his cultivation, there might actually be a chance to fix it. Although it was a nice gesture, what good will do the cultivational improvement in a dream? Shen Jiu wasn’t a cultivator anymore, besides… Li Nanchen would never help him out of goodness.

When he had been a disciple, at some point Li Nanchen discovered the manual Wu Yanzi threw at him just so Shen Jiu could stop yapping about learning proper techniques. When flipping through the pages, despite knowing it was dangerous and would do more damage than good, he stared at Shen Jiu and said “It’s befitting for your station.”

Only some months later did Shen Jiu find out the ugly truth, when flipping through one of the manuals belonging to someone else. Li Nanchen only pretended to favor him because the self-sabotage nature of Shen Jiu was far too amusing to pass it up.

Even now, the help offered wasn’t truly coming from Li Nanchen. That man would rather entertain himself watching Shen Jiu struggle than help him. This development was only because of the weird lucid dream he was experiencing. The affection, this parental figure his shizun had been shaped in, the care, the worry, it was all Shen Jiu’s creation. None of it was real.

And Wu-shishu… Shen Jiu didn’t want to see him.

That man was a hateful fucker. The only time Shen Jiu had went to Qian Cao Peak for an ointment, he had been refused, chased off the peak because they didn’t have any for ingrates like him. Ever since, Shen Jiu made it his personal mission to avoid the medical peak as long as possible, no matter how severe his wounds were, he refused any help from them.

As far as he could remember, there was no one who liked him there. Shen Jiu truly saw no need for his head to complicate the dream with the addition of irrelevant hags. And yet… soon Li Nanchen will come to take him to Cang Qiao, where they will find traces of demonic cultivation inside his body, and will eventually be forced to reveal bits of his past. If only there could be a way to avoid it-

“Shixiong!”

Shen Jiu looked toward the window, where Liu Qingge was perked on, holding a bouquet of flowers along with some wrapped hawthorn sticks.

What an amazing timing! Shen Jiu would kiss his brain if he could!

"I see you remembered to bring gifts. Not bad for a battle-driven brute" Shen Jiu nodded, filling a nearby vase with water for the flowers. The lack of aesthetic arrangement was a clear giveaway of having been handpicked. The image of Liu Qingge crouched in a field, picking flowers was a cute one. Shen Jiu leaned on the window still, raising on his tiptoes whilst leaning on his folded elbows, coming nose-to-nose with the other.

“Did you pick them yourself?”

Liu Qingge flushed, he too leaning in. “Does shixiong like them?”

Shen Jiu smiled, tilting his head to the side. “This one likes them. To be honest I expected you to hunt down some weird beast as a gift. That’s quite considerate of you.”

He brought a hand up to Liu Qingge’s face, thumbing the beauty-mark under his eye while gently coaxing him lower. When their lips meet, it was the softest kiss he ever had.

“Shixiong doesn’t like dirt.”

Shen Jiu hummed. So dream Liu Qingge was attentive. Wouldn’t it have been nice if he had been like that in the past? If things had been like they were here...

“Say Qingge, how do you feel about a date?”

“A date? Just you and me?”

“Why, do you want to go with someone else?”

“NO!”

Shen Jiu chuckled, taking the hawthorn sweets from Liu Qingge’s hands, putting them away for a later snack. “This shixiong wants to take you somewhere.” he extended his open palm toward Liu Qingge, which promptly took it. “Help me get out, I can’t let shizun see me.”

Carefully, Liu Qingge held him as Shen Jiu climbed over the window. When more than half of his body was out, Liu Qingge’s hands slid around his waist, remaining there even when Shen Jiu’s feet touched the ground. Shen Jiu kissed him again.

“Has anyone ever told you how attractive your strength is?” Shen Jiu said, arms sliding around his neck while leaving a small kiss on his chin. Liu Qingge stilled, body going suspiciously warm.

“… No…”

“Hn.” Shen Jiu’s hands move down the arms, feeling them flex under his fingertips. “You’d look so good with a sleeveless turtleneck… I’m a little jealous.”

“With a what?”

Shen Jiu shook his head, grabbing Liu Qingge’s left hand, intertwining their fingers. “Nevermind. Let’s get going.”

When Liu Qingge saw the brothel, he almost combusted on the spot with anger.

"Why are we here?!"

"First off, calm down" Shen Jiu gave his hand a warning squeeze, tugging him closer when Liu Qingge tried to storm off like some wronged lover. "Second, if you're going to fuck me the least you can do is earn the approval of my friends."

As they enter the brothel and his words registered, Liu Qingge’s anger vanishes. Now left curious and surprised.

"Friends?"

Shen Jiu hummed. "My friends. What? Did you really think I was a sore loner with no one to confide in? Smear my reputation all you want, I will not stop seeing my friends just because of some spoiled young masters that view sex workers as lower than dirt." Shen Jiu gave the ladies a respectful bow before proceeding toward the stairs. Liu Qingge silently followed, partially amazed at the easiness with which Shen Jiu navigated the corridors.

They came to a stop once they reached the restricted area, and after rasping a specific beat on the door, it opened with a squeal.

“A-Jiu!”

“Jiu-ge!”

Shen Jiu smiled. “Hope it’s not a bad time, please excuse my sudden appearance.”

“Not a problem! Come in!”

“Wait… isn’t that-”

Shen Jiu nodded, looking at Liu Qingge over his shoulder. “Ah, he’s the one I wanted to introduce you to.”

Both girls didn’t seem elated at that. While the eldest, Mei Jiao, maintained her composure despite the displeasure seeping through, the other, Xiao Chin was openly glaring.

“There’s no need, we already know who the esteemed cultivator is.”

“Yeah. A barbarian with no tact.”

Shen Jiu chuckled. “Then is it alright if we have some tea? I would like if my friends and boyfriend could get along.”

“Yeah, sure--- BOYFRIEND?!”

Shen Jiu didn’t think the day would develop like that.

It did start questionably, unsure if Mei Jiao and Xiao Chin would get along with Liu Qingge, but the weariness faded away once Shen Jiu told them how they came to be a couple. Of course, he didn’t reveal everything, just enough to satiate their curiosities, and after that, it had been smooth sail.

Liu Qingge too ended up roped into their discussion, mostly because the girls began spamming him with questions about his feelings, his side of the story, shifting all the way to his likes and hobbies. At some point, Xiao Chin, the youngest, asked Shen Jiu permission to dress him up, which Shen Jiu declined saying he would like to see Liu Qingge all dolled up for once.

Of course, Liu Qingge initially refused as well, but eventually caved in, accepting to wear women’s clothing along with a complicated hairstyle and some light make-up. The end product was exquisite. While the girls excused themselves, going back to work, Shen Jiu was still admiring their handiwork. The colors where still the same as his normal robes, although there were more shades of blues in comparison. The sleeves were adorned with fine embroidery with white and light pink flowers, a similar pattern found even on the ample skirt, a beautiful contrast against the navy blue. The sheer material of the outer robe, the only one, allowed Shen Jiu to see the muscles. The hair had been let down, with an up-do consisting of two braids coming into a bun, held in place by flowery pins. The make-up had been natural, a little dark peach pigment on the eyes, and some rosy rouge on the cheeks and lips.

Overall, Liu Qingge looked delectable.

“How do you like my friends so far?” Shen Jiu asked, patting the empty space besides him, a silent request to sit there.

“They are… nice”

"Surprisingly, you did a good job" Shen Jiu complimented sipping on the tea. “Tell you what, since Qingge had done extraordinarily, this shixiong will reward him. Qingge only needs to name what he wants.”

Liu Qingge flushed, playing with the hem of his skirt. “Can I ask for anything?”

Shen Jiu gave him an affirmative nod. “As long as it’s within this one’s possibilities.”

“Then…” Liu Qingge expectantly looked at the other. Shen Jiu tilted his head to the side, attentively listening. “Can we-… last time we-…” Liu Qingge flushed bright red, unable to say what he wanted with words. Shen Jiu might know what the other wanted.

"My, my. Does Qingge want his reward in a brothel?"

"I don't care were we are, just..."

"If people were to hear you, they'd think I'm corrupting you" Shen Jiu halfheartedly joked, pulling Liu Qingge into a kiss. "Well? You remember what I taught you, no? Get to work."

Shen Jiu hadn’t anticipated how hard it would get to see Liu Qingge.

After their date – which had been five days ago, Liu Qingge and Shen Jiu returned on Cang Qiong close to midnight. Upon arriving, they had been met with the sight of Li Nanchen and Zhao Nanfang fighting like rabid dogs. Both were throwing accusations at the other followed by vile threats. When Li Nanchen saw them, he was quick to wisk Shen Jiu away while repeating how grounded he was, while once again insulting both the Bai Zhan Peak Lord and his head disciple.

Contrary to Shen Jiu’s expectations, Li Nanchen not only doubled his tasks to keep him occupied, but even went as far as banning Shen Jiu to set foot outside the peak. For the past three nights, Liu Qingge was only able to visit him for less than a shichen, time cut too short due to Zhao Nanfang coming to forcefully drag his disciple back on Bai Zhan. It was both funny and frustrating. Zhao Nanfang did have this weird sixth sense in which he’d make an appearance right when things would get hot between Shen Jiu and Liu Qingge, leaving them both blueballing for the rest of the night.

But Zhao Nanfang was a kitten compared to the lenghts his shizun went.

Li Nanchen had eyes everywhere, and much to Shen Jiu’s ever-growing hatred for his former peak sibling, those runts had snitched on him every time Liu Qingge showed up on the peak. Obviously, Li Nanchen made them keep an eye on Shen Jiu. At least Zhao-shibo had the decency of allowing them some quality time, unlike Li Nanchen who seemed to thrive whenever chasing off Liu Qingge.

Today they got lucky since both peak lords were off the mountain, allowing both Shen Jiu and Liu Qingge to meet up and stargaze.

Rendezvous aside, the problem however, was another. A more concerning one.

Days kept passing in the dream, and Shen Jiu couldn’t help but wondered just how bad the concussion had been to knock him out for so long. By now someone surely found him unconscious in the studio. Knowing how worrisome the agency was over him, protective as hell with all their rules and bans, Shen Jiu was sure that they already took him to the nearest hospital. And as much as he trusted the doctors, he couldn't stop himself from worrying. The release date for the new album was close, and Shen Jiu was known for his impeccable delivery on time. If his situation was worse than anticipated, the agency will be forced to postpone all his prior engagements.

And Shen Jiu never postponed shit. Even when he sprained his ankle during dance practice, and couldn’t walk for two weeks, Shen Jiu still performed at the music awards. He had to sit on a chair, sure, but he refused to disappoint the people who had been waiting and spending money to see him live.

But that aside, it was also a matter of pride.

Ever since he began undergoing training, Shen Jiu strove to be the best at everything. Be it singing, dancing, acting, writing, he always prided himself with his quick learning skills. When the peak of his career came around, Shen Jiu had build himself a reputation he couldn’t afford to lose. If people knew him for impeccable delivery, then Shen Jiu will perform as promised even if he were on his death bed.

Besides… there was this feeling eating him alive. The feeling of being useless. Unproductive. As if guilty of wasting time when he should be working.

Dreaming of a date under the moonlight, stargazing and cuddling with someone he was supposed to dislike was the exact opposite of being productive. It felt wrong. It made him feel guilty.

What a headache.

Plus, he was running out of ideas. And many things he did to mess up with everyone else had gained the opposite effect. Just look at the brute! All lovey-dovey, bringing him gifts, following him like a kicked puppy, eager to please and coddle! Those were not the reactions he sought!

It had been entertaining to see the peak lords of Qing Jing and Bai Zhan bickering because of their disciples, but what was concerning was how affectionate and sticky Liu Qingge was. The one he remembered hated his guts, always finding the opportunity to smear his name and reputation, to belittle him with his low cultivation, always accusing him of unfounded rumors, calling him a nobody whenever the chance presented itself. Yet, in this dream the brute was docile, seeking him out for hugs and kissed. A terrifying contrast to the reality Shen Jiu had lived, and... Shen Jiu was scared about getting used to this.

Because he knew, once he woke up, everything here would disappear, and he didn’t wish to get attached to an out of character version of Liu Qingge.

Shen Jiu knew of dreams representing the subconscious, but he had never thought of the other in such a way! Was Liu Qingge attractive? Yes, but that didn't mean Shen Jiu ever wanted him as his man. At least not in the past! What even was the meaning of this dream? What was the point of it all?

"Brute" Shen Jiu called, suddenly annoyed. Liu Qingge hummed, curling more into him, gently kissing the crown of his head. The full moon was shining above their figures cuddling on the cool grass, and Liu Qingge’s steady heartbeat was almost lulling him into slumber.

"It's getting late. Don't you have some wild beast to bully into submission?" the position was comfortable, and it's not like Shen Jiu was entirely displeased with the current situation. However, this... overly affectionate Liu Qingge was dangerous. A shiver run down his back when he felt wet, soft lips against his temple, and many more peppering his exposed neck. He almost jumped when teeth grazed the sensitive skin.

"Already did." and so, another session of smooching started.

Shen Jiu didn’t know why he couldn’t simply push him away. As beautiful and as attractive Liu Qingge was, if given too much experience in the field of seduction, he could become quite the dangerous flirt. While Shen Jiu prided himself as someone who couldn’t be easily swoon, he wasn’t completely immune to seduction. And Liu Qingge was slowly but surely making tremendous progress in that particular department.

Unlike the first kiss, this one was firm. Liu Qingge knew what he was doing, his fingers knew where to poke and prod to make Shen Jiu moan into his mouth, his teeth and tongue knew where to give the necessary attention to have Shen Jiu tremble into his arms. It didn’t help how Liu Qingge also discovered one of his best hidden kinks. Praise.

Yes, Shen Jiu had a praise kink no one found out. In fact, it was so well hidden, not even Shen Jiu had been aware of having such kink. Not until Liu Qingge had one day accidentally praised him and Shen Jiu came on the spot. Ever since, Liu Qingge had experimented a little, trying to find out which praises worked and which didn’t, something Shen Jiu never expected the other to do.

Liu Qingge was becoming so dangerous, that Shen Jiu forgot they were still in the open, not that far from the bamboo hut of his shizun. So dangerous, that he didn’t realize how he began demanding -begging- to be fucked. Liu Qingge was becoming so experienced, so good at handling his body, that by the time Li Nanchen found them entangled into two mixed sets of robes, standing above them with a murderous glare, all he could think of was of wanting more.

"Bai Zhan disciples are banned from Qing Jing Peak. The transgression will be punished with two hundred strikes." Li Nanchen said, shocking all those present at the monthly meeting.

The sect leader gawked, suddenly remembering the rumors of two head disciples making out on the training grounds. Everyone knew of it, and everyone was also aware of much more… licentious rumors surrounding Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge. Still, no one obviously expected Li Nanchen to ban an entire peak from his den. That was quite the radical move.

"Li-shidi-"

"No. No. My child has been defiled enough. If I catch one of your filthy beasts on my peak I will personally ensure their slow, painful ending!"

"What happened?" The Xian Shu Peak Lord asked, suspiciously invested. Li Nanched narrowed his eyes, refusing to feed her anymore sickening debauched stories.

Shen Jiu, however, thought it might be out of shame. Knowing that your chosen head disciple was going around fucking someone in the open couldn’t possibly put Qing Jing and the Peak Lord in a good light. Although, the fact that Li Nanchen was still tolerating him despite the things Shen Jiu did and said, was quite amazing. That must be the power of controlling a dream. Not bad.

"Shen Qingqiu made out with my head disciple"

"My Jiu-er didn't do anything! Your beast held my disciple down like the predator he is!"

"Actually Shizun" Shen Jiu interrupted, all eyes snapping on him. "If it’s about the internal tournament, I kissed Liu Qingge first."

Qi Qingqi gasped somewhere in back, hands slapping her flaming cheeks while her eyes held an eerie spar. Shen Jiu ignored her.

"Can you blame me? A pretty boy was on top of me, all hot and bothered, was I supposed to push him away?"

Li Nanchen sputtered, all words lost, while Liu Qingge flushed bright red, intently looking at Shen Jiu.

"Jiu-er!! You-! No." The peak lord calmed down, "The Bai Zhan beast is banned from seeing you! Can't have him defile you-"

"We already did it."

Li Nanchen paled. All life draining from his face in a blink of an eye. Obviously, when finding them half naked the other night his mind hadn’t gone to that, because he came back early. But if Li Nanchen had arrived a couple of minutes later, no doubt the two would have been found jointed to the hips. "You... you what?"

"Me and Liu Qingge did it all the way. Three times already."

"That's it!" Li Nanchen slammed his hands against the table, "Shen Jiu will be confined to Qing Jing Peak, and Liu Qingge is banned from Jiu-er for the rest of his pathetic life!"

"Shizun... you're going to ascend in a couple of years. Your ban will not be doable then."

"You're right. In such case, I refuse to ascend."

"Li-shidi be reasonable" The sect leader whined, obviously not thrilled at the idea of spending more years among mortals. Shen Jiu couldn’t help but internally preen at his misery. That man was another peak lord Shen Jiu didn’t like.

"No! He already took my Jiu-er’s purity! What's next? He will be taken in as a male wife?!"

"Just because I took it in a couple of times doesn't make me a wife. I can cover the role of a husband just as well."

Li Nanchen looked one foot away from Qi-deviating. After this experience, Shen Jiu could read the confusion and concern on his face like an open book. What was going on with his head disciple? How could he admit such things in front of everyone? What happened to his stone-cold, hateful disciple?

That disciple died long ago, by the hands of everyone, especially Luo Binghe. 

Li Nanchen then glared at Liu Qingge, the disdain was easily readable, but the other was too busy staring at Shen Jiu to pay him any mind. Mouth slightly agape, checks dusted red, and eyes glimmering as if Shen Jiu was hanging the stars and the moon for him.

"You, you want to get married?" Liu Qingge asked, barely hiding the excitement. Shen Jiu shrugged.

"Eventually. Although the agency might interfere." They barely allowed him to date, let alone marry. Single Shen Jiu made a lot of money. And as good as the agency was to him, they were not that good to let him do whatever he wanted. He had an image to maintain, fans to keep happy and pleased, and that also meant staying out of any type of romantic relationship and scalding drama.

He still remembered how the CEO wanted for Shen Jiu to have this pure, innocent aura. A white lotus he said. And he understood the intention. The innocent persona had gained him many fans, both men and women loved that concept. When his road after the debut exceeded their expectations, more specifically when he became China’s National Treasure, the dating ban had been reinforced and prolonged for an undefined time. Marriage was, without a doubt, off the table.

"So..." Zhao Nanfang started, clearing his throat, "is your head disciple and mine dating? Just like that?"

Li Nanchen fumed. "No! Absolutely never! Not with your disciple! Not with anyone!"

"I wouldn't call this dating... more like hooking up."

"Hooking... up?” Zhao Nanfang repeated. “What is that?"

"Two people having non-committal sex. Friends with benefits if you may. If I remember correctly here it's mostly known as dual cultivation."

"What?!" Understandably, Liu Qingge was affronted.

"What were you expecting?" Shen Jiu asked, "You still haven't done anything to deserve my full commitment."

"I will official court you! I, Liu Qingge, will officially court Shen Jiu!"

"Wait! Liu-shidi, you can't!" Yue Qingyuan finally intervened. Shen Jiu almost feared he swallowed his own tongue. A silent Yue Qingyuan during meetings was weird. "Xiao Jiu, please behave"

Shen Jiu frowned. ‘Please behave’? The fuck was he? A child?

"Why can't I? What does me courting him have anything to do with you?"

"Liu-shidi, it is clear to everyone that something is wrong with Shen-shidi, otherwise he would not have assaulted you. We need to test-"

"Assault?! You dare call that assault?! Shouldn't you be more mindful of your words? Someone might mistake that for an accusation toward Shen-shixiong!"

"Shidi, please! Qingqiu-shidi is having an episode, which should be enough of a reason not to court him."

Shen Jiu cocked an eyebrow. He hadn't been reprimanded in... since that idiot chastised him for how he treated Luo Binghe. The audacity to bother him in his dream too! This was his dream, and Shen Jiu was allowed to do whatever he wanted, with or without his permission!

"Yue Qingyuan, with all due respect," Shen Jiu started, voice steady, "instead of telling me how should I behave, what I can or cannot do, why don't you just… I don’t know, fuck off for once?"

Gasps are heard. Yue Qingyuan was left shocked, and Shen Jiu was so happy to finally be able to say that without pompous words and intricated words. Sometimes, crude language was better than a refined one.

“Let’s make a deal. Tell me why you never came back, and I will behave myself exactly the way you want. I’ll give you two minutes to tell me the truth.”

Yue Qingyuan pressed his lips into a tight line, eyes drooping while guilt seemed to overtake his whole stance. Shen Jiu internally huffed. How come he could shape Liu Qingge’s and Li Nanchen’s personalities but Yue Qingyuan remained the same?

“Well? Are you planning to make me wait all day?”

Shen Jiu watched as Yue Qingyuan’s fist tightened around Xuan Su’s grip, and that alone, was more than enough of an answer.

Despite already knowing how much of a bother he had been, knowing how pathetic his past self had been and how much it weightened down everyone else with his difficult behavior, his heart sank as he finally realized what he feared the most.

The tiny glimmer of hope, the one desperate to still be someone important to Qi-ge, extinguished like a cigarette bud under a heavy boot. Shen Jiu didn’t know if he should laugh at his own pitiful feelings, or cry at the inevitable heartache.

Yue Qingyuan must of truly hated him if he was itching to unsheathe Xuan Su on him. To think that Shen Jiu had hoped… especially after the fool tried to save him back then...

Perhaps… perhaps Yue Qingyuan never cared. Perhaps, the saving attempt had been once again out of guilt or pity. 

In the end, not even the dream could spare his feelings. It would have been nice if they could’ve had the possibility to rekindle their relationship, even if it would’ve only been through a ridiculous dream.

"Since Yue-shixiong refuses to speak, then I will assume he is alright and supportive of my current behavior and will have no complaints in the future events of me and Liu Qingge displaying our mutual affections publicly. Thank you, have a good day." Shen Jiu grabbed Liu Qingge’s hand, dragging him toward the door.

"Xiao Jiu-"

"I said thank you, have a good day"

"Please, xiao-"

"I said: have a good fucking day!"

Li Nanchen hatefully stared at Yue Qingyuan in the eyes, the limits of his patience way beyond fried. His efforts went down the river, washed away by a measly head disciple that didn’t know when to shut up and how to speak up when needed. Worst, said head disciple was supposed to be the next sect leader.

“Pleased with yourself? Look what you did!”

“This disciple is sorry. This disciple didn’t know-”

“Shut. Up.” Li Nanchen massaged his forehead. “If they get married, your reproductive organs will be marinating in vinegar and salt! At Cang Qiong’s entrance! Both you and your shizun should be ashamed of yourselves!”

Both the sect leader and Yue Qingyuan lowered their heads. Li Nanchen, despite his acerbic personality traits, never regarded them with such words, always polite and respectful of his comrades. 

"Now, tell me everything that happened between you and Jiu-er. Leave nothing out."

Yue Qingyuan clenched his fists, shoulders dropping in defeat. 

After the stunt at the meeting, Li Nanchen decided to send Shen Jiu away on a mission.

Now, Shen Jiu wasn’t sure if it was because the other peak lords requested it, or if Li Nanchen was embarrassed by him and needed some time to himself to maybe rethink his choice on the head disciple position. Fact was, Shen Jiu didn’t care. It felt good to speak his mind after so many years, even if nothing would came out of it.

Yue Qi… was no longer there with him. In the past he had wished for their relationship to rekindle, go back to how it used to be. But Yue Qi, became Yue Qingyuan, someone who constantly reproached him, always expecting Shen Jiu to be understanding of their spoiled martial siblings, as if Shen Jiu’s feelings about them never matter. While Yue Qi never forced him to do anything against his will, telling him to extend kindness first – to people who were born privileged, raised in a bubble of ignorance - was no different from it.

Yue Qi died long ago. And as a replacement, Yue Qingyuan appeared. A boot-licker for the rich. That Yue Qingyuan was not his Yue Qi, so Shen Jiu didn’t have to respect him.

“Spoiled.” one of the disciples scoffed, side-eyeing Shen Jiu, who was far behind the group. “Is shidi too tired to keep up with the rest of us?”

Shen Jiu ignored them. The batch of disciples he had been dispatched with was composed of his worst shixiongs. and some Bai Zhan seniors that hated his guts. If Shen Jiu remembered correctly one of then was Ji Jue, one of the idiots that went crying to Liu Qingge that the ‘scum Shen Qingqiu beat me up for no reason!’.

Did his shizun do it on purpose?

It wouldn’t be far fetched. Li Nanchen never cared about the abuse going among the disciples. In fact, one of the latest memories of his shizun in the past, had been him drinking tea while some other disciple flogged Shen Jiu, some time before he became peak lord. Li Nanchen sending him on a mission with those that wouldn’t think twice of beating him black and blue after what he did at the meeting was in perfect alignment with the cruelty Shen Jiu was familiar with.

Li Nanchen never dirtied his hands when dealing with him. He would always find some underhanded way to get someone else do his bidding. Especially when dealing with Shen Jiu. From the outside in, people could assume him to be favored, and to an extent, he was. But Shen Jiu knew better. Li Nanchen was no different from the others that scorned him. This shift of personality, was due to Shen Jiu’s limited control over the dream.

For the majority of the mission, Shen Jiu kept a safe distance from the others. If they were to collectively jump him, he could at least get an advantage. In the past he never run away from them, facing them head on out of pride and stubbornness. But here? In this dream he could run away without the worry of the labels ‘weak’ and ‘coward’ chasing him everyday.

The resentful energy festering the village had been dispelled by the two eldest disciples, and albeit they complained about Shen Jiu not doing his part, completely disregarding the Bai Zhan disciples that too did nothing, Shen Jiu was indifferent to their yapping. They could complain all they wanted. He will soon wake up, and all of this nightmare will disappear, as if never happened.

The journey back should have been uneventful. But Shen Jiu forgot that the Bai Zhan disciples rarely stuck to plans. And instead, their group soon found itself being chased by some creature Shen Jiu forgot the name of. The thing in question was big, with long and sharp fangs, yellowed claws, and covered in red fur. Shen Jiu should have went straight to the sect, run away from danger that didn’t involve him, and get some restful sleep. Instead, he saw that idiot Ji Jue heading head first toward the beast, sword aimed to it’s throat, not seeing the tail rapidly swung toward him.

And so, Shen Jiu made a detour, kicking the idiot out of harm, while the heavy tail struck him instead. Shen Jiu refused to think of it as a good deed. As a matter of fact, if anyone dared to ask, the only reason he pushed Ji Jue out of the way was… because it was the perfect opportunity to be shocked out of the dream.

Said opportunity, however, didn’t happen.

His back burned after the impact, which sent him slamming against one of the trees around, one particular branch sticking into his shoulder before landing into a bush of thorns. Each cut burned like hell, eyes stinging at the overwhelming pain rocketing through his body. This pain… this vivid pain was… it shouldn’t hurt like this. He could feel the blood tickling out of his wounds, but he couldn’t do anything as his body when numb, paralyzed from head to toe.

As Shen Jiu lost consciousness, succumbing to the searing pain, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that something might be wrong with the dream.

Everything felt far too real.

The first thing Shen Jiu noticed was the throbbing pain around the neck and left shoulder, then the numbness of his body. And that, was a straightforward confirmation of what he feared.

This was not an ordinary dream as he wrongfully assumed.

He was back in the past.

As absurd as it sounded, that was the only reasonable explanation for the sharp pain he was currently feeling. That would explain why each kiss with Liu Qingge felt eerily real, why every touch tingled on his skin. Because this… was reality.

Not a dream.

As his consciousnesses gradually came back, so did his awareness of his surroundings, slowly picking up voices around him. Part of him wanted to open his eyes and see, but decided against it. Facing the people of his past life would only cement the new reality he refused to acknowledge.

"Shixiong?"

Shen Jiu internally groaned. May the gods be on his side because right now he wanted to dig a deep hole to die in. He behaved so... so out of character with Liu Qingge, with his shizun, with everyone… Shen Jiu didn’t believe he had any more face to save.

"Patience Liu-shizi.” Wu Nanjian said, “Shen-shizi is still unconscious. Once he wakes up he will probably be disoriented, we need to give him space." he added, checking Shen Jiu's spiritual veins. 

"Since now you're courting my disciple I expected your beasts to behave. Look what they did to him!"

"This one apologized for their behavior. I already beat them up for ignoring and endangering Shen-shixiong, it won't be repeated."

"You better deliver on that promise, or I swear I will fight tooth and nail to make sure you never see him again."

Liu Qingge's grip on Shen Jiu's hand tightened. "I will. Li-shibo needs not to worry."

Li Nanchen scoffed, sounding exasperated. "Go freshen up, it doesn't seem like Shen Jiu will wake up anytime soon"

And his shizun was correct. Shen Jiu planned on feigning sleep for as long as he could if it meant not facing the horrifying reality he had been thrown in.

"Then, this one will be back during the evening." and with that, Liu Qingge left. Leaving only Li Nanchen and Wu Nanjian behind. 

"Li-shixiong, I just checked your disciple's spiritual veins... and it's as you suspected."

"So? What is it? Can it be fixed?"

"I'm afraid it's a little more complicated than we originally expected. There's a lot of damage... aside the spiritual veins that are entangled, his meridians are fried, it explains why his core can't grow to its full potential. Aside that, there are still traces of demonic cultivation, and that alone will be complicated to remove." 

Why did Wu Nanjian sound as if he already knew of the demonic cultivation? Did Shen Jiu unwarily gave it away somehow?

"So Yue Qingyuan's story checks out." Li Nanchen sighed. "You said it will be complicated to remove, but not impossible, right?"

"Not impossible, no. However, there are also plenty of heart demons plaguing Shen-shizi, the first step is to get rid of those before moving forward. If we go by Yue-shizi's story, I may have an idea of what those heart demons are."

So Yue Qingyuan revealed his past. Way to further betray his trust. Of course he would tell them. Shen Qingqiu has stained Cang Qiong for far too long, seems he was fed up with him.

"There are some artifact that might help us facilitate his core's recovery. Let's look for those first."

"I expect your full cooperation Wu-shidi, you still have to atone for the troubles you caused my disciple."

There was a beat of silence, but Wu Nanjian eventually sighed. "I know."

There was some more shuffling around, some whispers he wasn’t able to pick up before he was left alone. As soon as the last presence left the room, Shen Jiu opened his eyes, staring at the wooden ceiling. And so, the scheming began.

He was good at those. This set of skills had always been unmatchable, in both lives. In the past, he never made full usage of them, despite the ability of concocting good plans and the necessary talent to implement said schemes. He could have avoided Luo Binghe’s wrath if Shen Jiu had tried hard enough, just like he could have avoided the rumors that smeared his person. However, back then, he had been too focused on hatred and jealousy, on Yue Qi’s silence to care about his fate. He could have unmasked Shang Qinghua if he wanted, but what would have been the point of embarking on such endeavor?

Besides, if Yue Qingyuan didn’t believe in him, why should he have wasted his talents to show them wrong, when obviously no one cared about Shen Qingqiu’s opinions? Even if he had brought undeniable proof, he doubted anyone would’ve believed him. Maybe even going as far as to accuse him of fabricating said proof.

But in his current life, this set of skills were valuable and always taken into consideration. He was both loved and envied for it. His schemes would bring success to someone while force others into a mediocre stale. All the idols that worked with him, that followed his advices became successful celebrities, the majority becoming worldwide known and admired, all thanks to his perfect, flawless plans and strategies, along with the talents he had for music. It may also have fueled the hatred of other executives and producers, but Shen Jiu was covered and protected by two powerful organs, his agency and the ministry. All his ideas brought success and praises, making him a fundamental presence in the agency, especially treasured by the CEO and the other workers. And how could they not when Shen Jiu was the main reason the agency became the biggest hot-shot known all over the world? How could they not treasure the mind that concocted plans, schemes, strategies, songs and concepts to take over the music industry?

However, despite having the experience of two lives under his belt, Shen Jiu found himself entertaining the idea of simply... running away.

He realized early on that if he were to remain on Cang Qiong, Luo Binghe was bound to appear at some point. In a world that was fond of demonizing his every move, action, and word, there was the silent threat of the past repeating itself. Besides, Luo Binghe was a character Shen Jiu couldn’t find in himself to tolerate. Spoiled, demanding, believing that the entire world owned him. If possible, he'd like to avoid that beast forever. His martial sibling too represented a danger to his well being. After all, they were the ones that long ago happily stood on the sidelines, watching as Shen Qingqiu met an unfair end, ripped apart like a twig.

He could use his body to have an advantage over Liu Qingge. Keep him happy and satisfied to ensure that the War God stayed loyal to him, but it would only be a matter of time for all the other detrimental factors to appear. Namely, Liu Qingge's Qi deviation, Qiu Haitang, the Palace Master, and whatever lies they fabricated to destroy him. When all those will appear, having Liu Qingge (if by some miracle were to survive the closed cultivation) on his side won't be sufficient to ensure the safety of his ass. If anything, there was the possibility of Liu Qingge turning against Shen Jiu as well.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

As righterous as Liu Qingge believed himself to be, Shen Jiu knew how susceptible he was to rumors. And if all their martial siblings filled his head of ‘Shen Qingqiu is scum’, Liu Qingge will eventually believe them, regardless of how docile and innocent Shen Jiu acted. His reputation here at this time was already cemented, and blood were already on his hands. He couldn't undo the past.

He couldn't risk it. No. He already paid for all of those crimes long ago, and more. He didn't need a repeat. He didn’t want a repeat. Once was more than enough.

Cang Qiong be damned, he won't stay here only to become a human stick again.

And so, in the middle of the night, when everyone was deep into slumber, Shen Jiu left, not once looking back as Cang Qiong slowly faded in the back.

Shen Jiu forgot how unforgiving this world was. A week of traveling and he was already tired out of his mind.

He had to sneak, sometimes hiding away to avoid bandits or some bad crowds. He had no spiritual weapon on him, having left Xiu Ya back at the sect as to not be traced. He didn’t doubt his former shizun to know of such method. Better safe than sorry.

As for money…

Shen Jiu hadn’t thought of that when he first left, but he did manage to make a teal and more while offering some street performance. Except, that hadn’t been nearly enough to cover his needs. Street performances will never bring a stable income, modern society or not. People had the privilege of enjoying his music, while choosing not to pay, either because they didn’t want to, or because they might not have the money to. Either way, Shen Jiu ended up striking a couple of noncommittal deals with the brothels he encountered, spending a couple of days in each one, while performing some songs out of his discography. This way, he managed to keep himself well-fed, a comfortable bed, and some spare money to buy himself a new set of robes and shoes.

All in all, Shen Jiu was doing good for someone who was on a constant run.

"Here's the key to the room. I hope gongzhi will have a pleasant stay"

"If anyone asks, you never saw me."

After receiving a nod from the owner of the brothel, Shen Jiu moved upstairs.

As soon as he settled into his temporary quarters, Shen Jiu took a long bath, washing away the sweat and dust of the day. As he plopped on the bed, he wondered what happened to him in the modern world. Did he die? It couldn’t be possible. He fainted out of hunger, and hit his head, but it shouldn’t have been deadly… right?

He wanted to go back. Back to his friends, back to his parents, back to his privileged life. He can’t believe he was also missing his CEO’s yapping. This world… was not for him. It had never been, and it will never be.

Even if it will take him months, Shen Jiu was determined to go back. And if he couldn’t… there were other extreme methods he could try. As his eyes shifted on the full moon, Shen Jiu was suddenly reminded of Liu Qingge. All in all it had been nice. Laying under the night sky, on the grass, cuddling away without worrying about life. He still couldn't believe he had the most romantic date with someone who periodically used to call Shen Jiu a nobody.

In modern society, romance was slowly dying. Netflix and chill becoming the peak of romance, much to Shen Jiu’s disgust. Despite the dates he went on, despite the trysts Shen Jiu had with models and singers, Liu Qingge, as simple-minded as he was, had been the only one bringing him flowers and sweets. All the men Shen Jiu had been with never gifted him anything, always saying how unnecessary it was.

Liu Qingge…

Shen Jiu huffed, amused. Who knew the brute had some romance in him? He had always been hyper-focused on training, always away from the peak to hunt some wild beasts from a faraway land that Shen Jiu believed him forever fitting into the loner category.

Whatever. That knowledge wasn’t useful to him. What happened with Liu Qingge will be filed away, in a corner of his mind as nothing more than a brief sexual encounter. The faster he forgot about Liu Qingge, the better. It’s not like they will meet again, not when Shen Jiu was constantly on the run.

Although…

It had been a nice experience, he'll give him that.

Shen Jiu was ready to take everything back. Especially the part where he thought he’ll never see him again.

Liu Qingge found him at the brothel he was staying, saw him performing on the guqin, and proceeded to corner him inside the room Shen Jiu rented. While his appearance hadn’t been expected, Shen Jiu’s mind rushed to make a plan, and for now, it was going accordingly.

“Shixiong,” Liu Qingge breathed, “Why are you here?”

Shen Jiu took a step back, folding his arms across the chest. “I should be the one asking that. Last time I checked you hated brothels.”

“You disappeared! Everyone is worried, looking for you!”

Shen Jiu would have laughed. Everyone worried for the scummy Shen Qingqiu? Please. As if anyone on that peak liked him enough to worry about his sudden disappearance. Shen Jiu knew they secretly threw a party, celebrating him going missing. And if he turned up dead, they would probably create a national holiday.

“Hard to believe, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.” Shen Jiu said, taking a cautionary step back as Liu Qingge approached him. “What do you want?”

Liu Qingge stopped, eyes skimming over the covered wound around his neck. “Shixiong is still hurt. We should get back to Qian Cao for treatment.”

As if Shen Jiu will allow it.

With a sheepish smile, Shen Jiu leaned into the other, lithe arms sliding over Liu Qingge’s broad shoulders. “What’s the rush?” gingerly, Shen Jiu pecked his jaw, maneuvering Liu Qingge’s body so his back was facing the bed. Whilst kissing both his jaw and cheeks, Shen Jiu began walking, forcing Liu Qingge to move along until he fell on the soft mattress, with Shen Jiu perked on his hips.

“Did shidi miss this shixiong?”

Liu Qingge nodded, hands moving up Shen Jiu’s thighs, stopping on the hips. Shen Jiu leaned forward, giving his lips a feathery kiss. Shen Jiu smiled.

“We need to go back. You’re hurt-”

Shen Jiu pressed his thumb against his lips. “Shidi worries too much. Why don’t you close your eyes and enjoy what shixiong will give you?” the free hand moved to open Liu Qingge robes. “As a reward for defending my honor during the meeting, this shixiong promises to keep you pleased and warm all night.”

As dawn came around, Liu Qingge soundly sleeping after all the overwhelming attention received, Shen Jiu snuck away, as silent as a leaf falling on the ground, running toward the next town.

A hound dog, that’s what Liu Qingge was!

Twenty-four hours haven’t passed since Shen Jiu left the brothel, yet Liu Qingge somehow managed to find him. Again. And thing was, they were in the middle of nowhere since Shen Jiu hadn’t managed to cross the forest leading toward the neighboring town. He had nowhere to hide, nothing at his disposal to advert Liu Qingge’s attention.

"Why are you running? Is it something I did?"

Shen Jiu rolled his eyes, not stopping even if Liu Qingge was close enough to almost breath down his neck.

"I'm not running away from you!"

"Then from what? If someone is threatening you I can help! Cang Qiong is safer than a random village!"

Shen Jiu’s mouth twitched into a sneer. "Safer for you! Cang Qiong is going to be my downfall and I'm not crazy enough to stay and be turned into a human stick again!"

"What are you talking about? Why would you be turned into a-… a human stick?"

Shen Jiu scoffed under his breath. Of course Liu Qingge wouldn’t understand, he didn’t remember the past like Shen Jiu did. And even if by some miracle Liu Qingge had the knowledge of it, he doubted he would know about Luo Binghe and how he massacred the entirety of Cang Qiong, leaving Shen Jiu last just to blame him for the outcome. Classic Luo Binghe. Destroy everything and then blame Shen Qingqiu for the monstrosities committed.

Sure, Shen Jiu had to be blamed for the abuse inflicted on Luo Binghe, but the beast was the one that went on a rampage, killing and raping to his heart’s content. Cang Qiong burning down, along with the peak lords perishing into the fire, had been Luo Binghe’s doing. But that didn’t stop anyone from condemning Shen Jiu for it, as if he had been the one telling Luo Binghe to do so.

"Liu Qingge, did you know that I'm an orphan and former slave?"

That seemed to do the trick. Liu Qingge stopped moving, eyes blown wide as he stared at him. Shen Jiu might regret it later, but if Liu Qingge could understand who exactly Shen Jiu had been, maybe he will turn around and forget whatever he was doing, choosing to leave Shen Jiu on his own.

"What?"

"After three years of being abused by my master, I set the Qiu manor on fire and killed all the men. I stabbed them all, multiple times. There. I'm a murderer. Now go back, report it to the sect, and stop chasing me around."

"… Is this the only reason you're on the run?"

"Oh for crying out loud, use your brain!" Shen Jiu wanted to pull his hair out. Why did Liu Qingge seem unimpressed with his twisted backstory? He should condemn him! Not-… not be so calm about it! "That degenerate’s sister is alive, it won't be long until she publicly reveals all of this and your martial siblings will hand me over to Huan Hua Palace and Luo Binghe to lock and torture me in the Water Prison!"

"No one will hand you, we will protect you! I will fight whoever this Luo Binghe is!"

"Oh, please spare me the lies! Do you think I trust any of you? All it takes is one wrong move and then you lot will start to see me as nothing but a vile, wretched, scum of a villain. I already know how shit’s going down. No thank you!"

"Shixiong, I promise nothing will happen to you. I will talk to Yue-shixiong and-"

"Yes! Of course. Sure! Go talk to the one that always abandons me and never keeps a fucking promise! Go! See for yourself how he will promise you things only to be unable to fulfill them. Go ahead, have a taste of what abandonment and betrayal feels like. Hope you enjoy being disappointed!"

"Yue Qingyuan... abandoned you?"

"Who do you think is the reason I became a slave at the Qiu's?! I saved his stupid ass and in exchange I got his stupid guilt!" Shen Jiu sneered, eyes narrowed into slits as anger rolled off him in waves. “But you might be lucky. You’re not dirty, little nine to disregard like a filthy rat. He might honor his stupid promises if it’s anyone but me!”

Something crossed Liu Qingge’s eyes. Something Shen Jiu failed to decipher. Liu Qingge seemed to be thinking of something. And Liu Qingge thinking, is already a dangerous thing.

"Then... then come with me. I promise to protect you."

Shen Jiu blinked a couple of times, unsure how to proceed. While Liu Qingge’s desire to offer his services and protection was truly admirable, he knew better than anyone that Liu Qingge stood no chance against Luo Binghe. The only one capable to defeat that beast was Yue Qingyuan – the person who will try to avoid violence at all cost, even if said cost meant Shen Jiu being dismembered alive.

“Qingge…”

“Shixiong, I can-”

“In some years, after you become Peak Lord, you will die of a Qi-deviation, inside the Lingxi caves.”

“...what?”

Shen Jiu fully expected Liu Qingge to call him a liar, or maybe say something about him having gone nuts. But, from his face alone, Shen Jiu knew Liu Qingge believed him. And if he believed….

Then, let this be Shen Jiu’s personal form of redemption. He might be unable to fix everything, but the few people he cared about could at the very least survive.

“Qingge, I already lived this life. A disciple I took in to spite you, Luo Binghe…” Shen Jiu shifted his eyes on the grass under his feet. “I mistreated him. It’s true that he was a mess, he kept messing things up as if purposefully. But the punishments I gave were too harsh. I made the mistake of wanting to bring him down to my same level of misery, but the only thing I succeeded in doing, was creating a monster.”

Robes shifted in the wind, and a sweet scent of sandalwood and black tea reached his nose. Liu Qingge gripped his shoulders.

“Shixiong-”

“Let me finish,” Shen Jiu interrupted, still refusing to look him in the eyes. “I wronged many. I- the ending I met, was fair. But I don’t want to experience it again. I’m tired. Up until that accident I believed all of this to be a dream. I didn’t believe any of this real, that’s why I did things I would have never done otherwise. Qingge… I can’t stay here. If I stay… then everyone will end up murdered because of me.”

Liu Qingge believed him.

His expression was enough of a confirmation.

“I will train harder.” Liu Qingge said, eyes determined as he kissed Shen Jiu’s forehead. “I will train harder, and grow stronger. This Luo Binghe-”

“Qingge… you’re going to die when Luo Binghe will still be a weak teenager. Just… keep yourself alive. Notify someone before you enter seclusion, work on your Qi balance, and… just stay alive. You don’t have to become stronger.”

Liu Qingge shook his head, fingers slightly digging into Shen Jiu's arms. “If I don’t, I won’t be able to protect you.”

Shen Jiu sighed, letting his forehead rest against Liu Qingge’s shoulder.

“There’s no need. I will take myself out of the picture. This way, no one gets hurt, and everyone can have their happily ever after.”

Liu Qingge stilled. While Shen Jiu couldn’t see his expression, something in the air felt colder.

“What about me?”

“What… about you?”

“You said we were in a relationship. But what are you expecting me to do if you leave? What about my happily ever after?”

“Qingge… there are better people out there. I’m… not a good match for you. Our backgrounds are worlds apart, and unlike you, I have a criminal history, a bad reputation, and… frankly speaking, I do not believe there to be a future for us.”

“We haven’t even tried-”

“Liu-shidi still doesn’t understand,” Shen Jiu with difficulty smiled through the pain. Since when did Liu Qingge become so important to him? Why was it so painful to face reality, and why was he longing for this embrace to never end? “Associating with me will damage your reputation. People have already been whispering malicious things, and I do not wish to tarnish anything of yours, especially your image and life prospects.”

When Shen Jiu first acted out of spite, he thought there would be no consequences since he wholeheartedly believe it all to be nothing more than a vivid dream. But the Liu Qingge in front of him was as real as the ground they were standing on. Just like the damage he inflicted on Liu Qingge’s pristine reputation.

He truly was the worst, wasn’t he?

“I don’t care what others have to say. Their opinion doesn’t matter to me.”

Shen Jiu almost laughed. Indeed, that’s exactly how Liu Qingge had always been.

“But I care.” Shen Jiu said mildly, both palms finding solace on Liu Qingge’s cheeks. “I care… because I like you. And if associating with me brings you misfortune, than it’s better if we don’t cross paths.”

“You don’t-!”

Shen Jiu pressed on his cheeks, interrupting him. “I did. The reason you died in the lingxi caves… was because of my incompetence. You’ve been right all along… I’m weak, I don’t deserve to be a peak lord, in fact, I should have never tried to reach for something as impossible as cultivating. I was greedy, selfish, and angry at the world. I mistreated those around me to let out my frustrations, and in the end, the universe repaid me with the same energy.” There was no turning back. If Shen Jiu opened this much, he might as well ease his heart.

“I’m sorry for all the times I annoyed you, I’m sorry for throwing dirt in your eyes. Tell Yue Qingyuan that… I’m sorry for being a nuisance, and that I understand if he wanted to forget about me. I know I haven’t been the easiest to deal with, and I know I caused him a lot of problems. I’m also sorry for beating your shidi, I should have controlled my anger better than that.”

“Shixiong-”

Shen Jiu pulled Liu Qingge down, foreheads resting against each other, offering one last smile. “I’m sorry for every time I have offended you. Especially during these past few weeks. Had I known this to be real, I would have never done things like that to intentionally ruin your image. I’m sorry.”

“Shi-”

“I like you. A lot.” Shen Jiu said, ignoring the sting in his eyes. “I’m sorry for not being a better person.”

Shen Jiu kissed him, for the last time.

Liu Qingge’s arms tightened around him, kissing him back with much too fervor. It didn’t last long. It came to an abrupt end when Shen Jiu pressed on one of his acupoints, swiftly knocking him out, body going limp. Carefully, he laid Liu Qingge down on the grass, gently brushing away the strands covering Liu Qingge’s face. Seems that the damage was done. Without even meaning to, Shen Jiu ended up getting attached. He painfully smiled at what will come next. Dealing with his feelings once everything settles will be a pain in the ass.

Before resuming his run, Shen Jiu set up a protective barrier around Liu Qingge before lighting up a talisman. Hopefully the disciple that will find Liu Qingge will take him back to the sect, as far away as possible from Shen Jiu.

Was that a cowardly move? Yes. Yes it was. But he didn’t have any other option. Liu Qingge couldn’t possibly understand. He didn’t know the depravity Luo Binghe was capable of. He didn’t know the sins this world’s Shen Jiu carried. The never ending depth of his bad karma.

Keeping Shen Jiu around meant doom will follow regardless. If Shen Jiu stayed on Cang Qiong, then Luo Binghe will destroy it. If he went with Liu Qingge, then he will face the same fate for protecting the scum that ruined Luo Binghe’s oh so precious childhood. Liu Qingge might not be aware, but Shen Jiu was doing them all a favor by forever leaving them behind.

It was only two days after his last encounter with Liu Qingge that Shen Jiu managed a way to go back to his life.

Of course, nothing was without risks, and if Shen Jiu were to be discovered traveling with two young demonic cultivators, Cang Qiong will no doubt punish him for the transgression. A head disciple of the Qing Jing Peak, mingling with demonic cultivators will never be acceptable, no matter the circumstances. But Shen Jiu was that desperate. Besides, it wasn’t as if he didn’t know how they operated. And unlike Wu Yanzi, a vile personality Shen Jiu regretfully had been in cahoots with, those two seemed a little more friendly.

By chance he met them, when he was yet again doing a street performance and those two happened to see him, striking up a conversation. At first, Shen Jiu planned to ignore them, not knowing if they could be trusted or not. However, he soon changed his mind when they showed him a mirror they found somewhere near the town. Said mirror was supposed to show the looker another version of their life, and Shen Jiu all but jumped on the opportunity.

He focused his mind on the modern life he had, silently demanding the mirror to show him what happened to his body before coming here. And much to his relief, his body was laying into a hospital bed, in a comatose state. So he didn’t die. That was good, perfect even.

Perfect because demonic cultivation had forbidden techniques for soul transfer. Wu Yanzi had told him as much when under his tutelage, and Shen Jiu never forgets important information, especially if it unintentionally lands in his lap. The two youngsters, although older than Shen Jiu’s age in the current timeline, seemed to know about it as well, which prompted him to request their help. And thus, they were all now in a clearing right outside the village, Shen Jiu standing still while the two demonic cultivators prepared everything for the transfer.

One of them spoke, without looking at him. “If it doesn’t work out-”

“I will not hold it against you. Don’t worry.” Shen Jiu interrupted, already aware of the risks. The technique, albeit known in their circle, had never been used before. Even if it worked or not, the end result would remain the same. Shen Jiu, regardless of the success of the ritual or epic fail, will die on the spot. And that was exactly why it had never been tried before. Too risky. Only a mad dog would ever attempt doing such thing. A mad dog named Shen Jiu.

“Alright,” the other one said, looking at their handiwork. “Everything is settled. Get into the circle.”

Shen Jiu nodded. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous. However, the prospect of going back to his life, one that was filled with happy memories and lovely people was far stronger than some little fears about failure. As Shen Jiu reached the center, he gave them an affirmative nod.

“Let’s begin then.”

The soaring pain Shen Jiu felt after being blinded by a white light, was slowly subsiding. He wasn’t sure how long he’d swam into the endless darkness, but he was eventually able to feel his body again.

After he managed to open his eyes, neon lights hitting him square in the face, Shen Jiu felt like crying. The technique had been a success. He was back home!

Unable to contain his elation, Shen Jiu let out a chuckle, which apparently alarmed all those around him.

Head after head popped above, shielding him from the blaring lights. His parents were there, his manager Mo Xuanyu, his PR executive, Su Xiyan, his best friend, Gongyi Xiao. Even Tian Langjun, the CEO was there, holding his breath as he attentively watched Shen Jiu. There was only a second of stillness before the room exploded into happy cries, laughs and many congratulation for coming back, along with Tian Langjun and his father frantically calling for a doctor.

This life of his was truly blessed. Nothing like the little nine or the despised Shen Qingqiu.

No more of those.

Shen Jiu smiled, tightening his hold on his mother's hand which was balling her eyes out with tears, no doubt holding back from crushing him into a tight hug.

He was finally home.

"Not so fast young man!" His mother chastised, gently pulling him back. Shen Jiu leaned against her, obediently. "The doctor said you still need rest. You've been in a comatose state for the past two months because of hunger. Why do you keep forgetting to eat? I don’t remember raising an airhead!"

His father nodded, along with Tian Langjun, which was the next one to speak. "We agreed to have someone supervise you, you will be watched closely and forced to eat three meals a day and have at least two snack times. Since the clothes you usually wear are on the flowy side, even if you gain a little weight it won't be noticeable. Actually your fans would prefer that, they've been sending the agency death threats and spammed our mailing box because we couldn't ensure your health... people nowadays are crazy, I'll tell you that!"

Shen Jiu felt a little guilty for the troubles his irresponsibility caused. He knew his fans were protective, sometimes worse than his own parents, and knowing them, he had an inkling feeling that Tian Langjun had watered down the extent of their actions. He might have to check in on his socials to see what happened during his coma.

“Ah, did you postpone the release date?”

Tian Langjun looked at his mystified. “Jiu-er, you just came back from the dead and that’s what worries you?”

Shen Jiu shrugged. “I promised. The fans pre-ordered it, and-”

Mo Xuanyu intervened. “You don’t have to worry. We contacted all the ones that pre-ordered. Turns out they were more concerned about your health than the album. Some even wanted to send more money to cover the hospital bills.”

Shen Jiu smiled, fondly. He needed to think of something to thank them all. He could organize a free meet&greet. Or, he could make a free performance in various cities. It wasn’t as if he lacked money to do so. He could also prepare them small bags with gifts, he had the crafting skills to make something cute. Maybe a couple of handmade bracelets for each of them?

Tian Langjun’s eyes squinted. “I will agree to the free meet&greet, anything else that involves you physical exertion will be declined on the spot.”

Shen Jiu sweat-dropped. “That ability of yours is concerning.”

Su Xiyan laughed. “It’s not an ability when it can be read on your face.”

“Is it?”

Gongyi Xiao too chuckled, as he handed him an opened water bottle. “Painfully so.”

Shen Jiu chugged half of it down. Tian Langjun cleared his throat.

“The amount of suffering and scare you gave us because of your little stunt will be punished.”

Shen Jiu frowned.

Tian Langjun continued. “Me and your parents agreed to ban you from the recording studio for a month, which will give you the necessary time to fully recuperate, meanwhile we will be looking for someone who will be in charge of your meals. With that being said, give me the keys to the agency’s studio.”

Tian Langjun opened his palm, awaiting the key. Mo Xuanyu handed Shen Jiu the bag. Shen Jiu was not pouting as he gave up the key. That was only a trick of the light.

Tian Langjun cocked an eyebrow. “And the one from your home studio.”

With an audible sigh, Shen Jiu gave him that key too.

“And your parent’s studio.”

Another heavy sigh, another key handed.

“And the one from your back-up studio near your apartment complex.”

A fouth key was soon placed on top of the other three.

“You think I don’t know about the one in your summer house?”

The fifth one went as well.

“Good. This month focus on your health. That millionaire fan of yours threatened to make us hit bankruptcy if something like that happens again.”

“He can’t.”

Gongyi Xiao chuckled. “He can and will. Turns out he’s the son of the prime minister Qiu Wenjian. And, the national culture committee threatened to take severe measures if the agency can’t ensure your safety and well-being. We had do to lots of damage control.”

Shen Jiu was too stunned to speak. He did expect some people to care about him, but not so many.

“I’ll… keep that in mind.”

“Good.” Tian Langjun put away the keys, arms soon plopping on Su Xiyan’s and Gongyi’s shoulders, locking eyes with each person in the room. “How about we go and celebrate? The meals are all on me!”

Everyone quickly agreed, Shen Jiu too. "Good," Tian Langjun nodded, "Jiu-er, while you freshen up and change clothes, we'll finish speaking to the doctor and call a restaurant. We'll wait for you three in the car."

"Alright."

His parents helped Shen Jiu up from the bed, Shen Xiangmei taking him to the bathroom to help him freshen up. As she dried his face, she pinched his cheek. “Dear Gods, the scare you gave us! Two months Jiu-er, you stayed in a coma for two months!” she complained, albeit she was smiling, happy to have her son back. “Did your soul travel around the world for you to sleep so long?”

Shen Jiu hummed, thinking back on his time with Liu Qingge and what followed after. His lips twitched. “Something like that.”

Shen Xiangmei huffed, squishing his cheeks while planting a semi-aggresive kiss in the middle of his forehead. “Sit here, I’ll bring you a change then we can all go eat.”

His father then entered, ruffling his hair.

“Never do that again. You almost gave us a heart attack.” Shen Yuxuan said, eyes gentle as he eyed Shen Jiu’s bandaged head. “If you’re tired we can go home, there’s no need to force yourself.”

Shen Jiu smiled, gently shaking his head. “I’m fine. I promise.”

Shen Xiangmei came back in less than a couple of minutes, holding a bag of clothes for Shen Jiu to change in. “I’ll help you, here honey, hold the bag and pass me the clothes one by one.”

Shen Jiu almost whined. “There’s no need, I can do it on my own.”

“Yeah? And have you faint and hit your head again? Stop whining and sit your ass down, let mommy do her job.”

“Mom!”

“Zip it!”

“Mom, I’m too old for this! I can-”

“You may be an adult but I’m still your mother! Now shut it and let me help you.”

“…”

“Good. Honey, pass me A-Jiu’s briefs.”

“No, mom- wait, I can do that-”

“One more word and I’ll spank you!”

Shen Jiu wanted to protest again. He was old enough to dress without anyone’s help, but the redness around his mother’s eyes stopped him. A wave of guilt washed over him, knowing that he was the reason for causing her mother to cry. In the end, despite how embarrassing it was to be an adult and be handled like a toddler, Shen Jiu decided to let her do whatever she wanted. As long as it made her happy, then he won't mind a little bit of embarrassment. 

It was good being home indeed.

Falling back into the rhythm of his new life had been easy. If he made abstraction of the constant phone calls reminding him to eat, Shen Jiu could almost pretend that being thrown back into his past life never happened.

Keyword: almost.

While he hadn’t fallen in love with Liu Qingge, Shen Jiu could admit to himself that the time spent together had been nice. Besides, now he knew that if he had made the extra effort, their relationship wouldn’t have soured to the point of not trusting each other. The theory he had, the gut feeling that Shen Jiu was the faulty one, proved correct after that particular experience. In the end, the bitter revelation, the truth he always ran away from could no longer be ignored.

Shen Jiu had been the reason things went terribly wrong in his past life.

Whenever thinking of the past, he tried to see things as objectively as possible, and put the blame on everyone. However, seeing how different Liu Qingge could be, the care, the affection he showed, along with the desire to protect him to the point where he would fight Luo Binghe not even knowing who he was, proved everything he feared.

“The PR team is working on the new project, the xianxia theme you proposed has been accepted. They said you can submit all your ideas and they will see which one to pick,” Mo Xuanyu said, passing him the printed powerpoint of the plans. “These are some of the ideas they came up with. You can revise them and modify to your liking. Although, I’m pretty sure they’re going to accept them all if you wish so.”

Right. In this life, his ideas and plans brought success to both him and the agency. Unlike Cang Qiong, where he would be brushed off or someone would find fault in his strategies, here they were cherished. Here, in this life, people believed in him, and he didn’t need anyone to back him up to make others have faith in his brains. Here, he mattered. Here, he was heard. Here, he was appreciated for his effort, and his work was valued.

Leaving Cang Qiong… leaving Liu Qingge was the best choice he made. For everyone.

“Why did they include a drama?” Shen Jiu asked, reading the title of the fifth page. “Those themes were proposed for my next album.”

Mo Xuanyu shrugged. “It seems they liked it a lot. They talked about various plots, an emperor falling for a servant, a young man seeking revenge on the emperor while disguising as a concubine, a male concubine’s forbidden love with a general, and so on. All have you as the main protagonist.”

“That one.” Shen Jiu said. “That one… sounds good.”

Mo Xuanyu titled his head, curiously looking down the drama concept Shen Jiu was referring to. “Which one?”

“Number six. The one with the general.”

“Ah, the plot is good, but the ending not so much… the male concubine ends up imprisoned, and the general gets stripped of his heroic title and executed for treason in front of his lover. Someone even suggested to end the series with the execution of the male concubine.”

Shen Jiu hummed. “Heroic title… is it something like War God?”

“Kinda? Su Xiyan talked about a War Hero or something.”

War Hero. War God. Wasn’t it the same? It was. Maybe that’s why it caught his attention.

“If you like that one, we can discuss with the production team and come up with a happy ending for the two.” Mo Xuanyu said, circling where the idea was written. Shen Jiu gave him the papers, shaking his head.

“No. Keep the bad ending.” He said, getting up from the couch to stretch his limbs. “It’s the closest to reality.”

Mo Xuanyu eyebrows raised, confused and curious at the same time. “Why must you always chose tragedy? Never heard of happily ever after?”

“What’s next on the schedule?” Shen Jiu asked, obviously changing the topic. Mo Xuanyu pulled out the tablet.

“Well... two hours of rehearsal with the dancing team, half an hour break with a generous snack, meeting with the executives to plan the layout of the MAMA’s performance, an hour break and a hefty meal, and then another meeting with the producers that will be working with you on the new album with two snack breaks. After that, you’re free to go home after Tian Langjun and Su Xiyan take you out for dinner.”

“That’s all of it?”

“Yes.”

“Alright.” Shen Jiu tied up his hair into a high ponytail as he left the room, while Mo Xuanyu rushed after him, papers and plans clutched to his chest.

“Since when did you start adding braids in your hair?” Mo Xuanyu inquired, “Didn’t you also avoid high ponytails because they give you headaches?”

Shen Jiu stared ahead, badly wanting to ignore the questions. Even if he were to explain, there was no way they could believe his story of traveling back in time. Shen Jiu himself struggled to make sense of such experience despite having been months since he came back.

“Changing things up sometimes is not a bad idea.”

He knew he could never have Liu Qingge, not in the past, not in the present. As sweet as their moments had been, Shen Jiu needed to forget about him. Clinging to the ghost of a person that has never been his, would only aggravate his longing.

He made the choice to leave Cang Qiong, sacrificing the small bud of fondness for a live he could call his. He was the one to choose this life over a potential fulfilling love. Shen Jiu snipped the bud, and thus, he had no right to covet the memories of Liu Qingge. He had no right to buy a full set of robes strikingly similar to the ones worn by Liu Qingge, or wear his usual hairstyle, or order a custom-made perfume from the best perfumery to recreate the one worn by Liu Qingge, sandalwood and black tea.

In fact, he should get rid of them as soon as he got home. Liu Qingge belonged to his past life, and there was no room for him in his current one.

It was better this way. Liu Qingge will get to live since there will be no Shen Qingqiu to kill him, Cang Qiong’s reputation will thrive like never before, and Luo Binghe will be able to enjoy the happy childhood he deserved. Because Shen Qingqiu was no longer there to hinder their lives.

Indeed. Shen Jiu did them all a favor.

Let that be his first and final good deed for Cang Qiong.

Meanwhile, in another world, Shen Jiu’s charred body was found, forgotten into a clearing, Xiu Ya shattered to bits next to it. A funeral was held, and soon after peak lords ascend, although none of them were happy with how things came to be, Li Nanchen especially. Life went on for the new peak lords. Well… everyone except Liu Qingge.

The new Peak Lord of Bai Zhan led his life devoid of relationships, mentally and emotionally trapped into sweet and sour memories of a deceased beloved he failed to protect. The War God refused cooperation with his martial siblings, voicelessly blaming them all for Shen Jiu’s death.

Liu Qingge especially rejected the new Qing Jing Peak Lord. Their bad-blood now for a whole different reason compared to the misunderstandings he has with Shen Jiu. As far as Liu Qingge cared, the rightful position of Qing Jing’s Peak Lord belonged to Shen Jiu, and no one else. In fact, Qing Jing might as well not exist anymore since there was no Shen Jiu.

Bitter at the world, bitter at everyone and everything, Liu Qingge operated on his own, isolating Bai Zhan and refusing to acknowledge Yue Qingyuan as the sect leader.

It hadn't been like that in the beginning. But Liu Qingge eventually learned the truth about Shen Jiu's and Yue Qingyuan's relationship, and despite knowing that Yue Qingyuan wasn't totally at fault for what happened, it still didn't change the outcome. Jealousy too was an ugly beast. Knowing that Yue Qingyuan had the power to change Shen Jiu's situation, but choosing not to... Liu Qingge begged Shen Jiu to let him help, and got refused. And yet, it would've taken Yue Qingyuan a simple confession to ease Shen Jiu's mind. Their bond, Liu Qingge didn't like it. And as if to pour salt over the wound, Shen Jiu ended up dead, leaving him alone.

Shen Jiu never trusted Cang Qiong. So why should Liu Qingge trust them? They were the reason Shen Jiu left. And so, Liu Qingge avoided them all, only cooperating when necessary.

In that same world, a reborn former demonic emperor was desperately searching for his shizun, obsessed with the knowledge that Shen Qingqiu could be kind and potentially love him somewhere down the future. Upon arriving at Cang Qiong, Luo Binghe’s dreams got shattered before they could take roots. Shen Qingqiu had been killed by demonic cultivators way before he was born, and the new Qing Jing Peak lord was nothing like the beautiful and aloof Shen Qingqiu he knew.

He was worse.

In that world, Luo Binghe lived a life filled with terror, everyday praying for the abyss to open as soon as possible. At least then, he won’t be beaten for nothing. In the abyss, he won’t have to worry about clothes being ripped off his body and slimy hands gripping and bruising his skin.

No one helped him. There was no disciple Ning Yingying to soothe him. No Liu Mingyan to offer him comfort. And the Peak Lord of Bai Zhan hated him. The hatred received from someone who in a past life had been a deceased in-law he didn’t get to meet, was deep and scorching. So deep Luo Binghe had been banned from Bai Zhan, disciples instructed to not interact with him, no matter the circumstances.

And no other Peak Lord wanted to help him, all because Liu Qingge hated him for no reason influencing the judgment of everyone else. What had he done to deserve such injustice? Liu Qingge was supposed to be someone righteous, an honorable man. Yet… without the slightest remorse simply refused to help someone in dire need of saving.

In that world, before Luo Binghe could motion his revenge against Liu Qingge and rip him apart like he once did with Shen Qingqiu, the War God met his own demise inside the Lingxi Caves during a terrifying deviation.

The news shocked both the cultivation world and mortals. Liu Mingyan cried herself to sleep, refusing to leave Liu Qingge’s quarters. And yet, she did leave, to attend one of the monthly meetings. No one could forget the sight of her. Helpless, heartbroken, and completely soulless as she informed the other peak lords about Liu Qingge’s last wish. Much to everyone’s shock, Liu Qingge had been aware of his pending death, and before entering the cave, wrote on a paper his wish to be cremated, ashes to be scattered in the same urn as Shen Jiu’s. As unusual as the request was, the peak lords complied if only to stop Liu Mingyan from holding a ghost marriage for Liu Qingge and Shen Jiu.

Luo Binghe, for two different reasons, was left with a sour aftertaste.

Dejected, empty, lonely, and filled with regrets, he lived life hollowly, without any purpose or motivation, even after destroying the current Qing Jing Peak Lord and Cang Qiong Mountain Range.

Fin.