Archive of Our Own ^beta

The annual harassment seminar was, without question, the least favorite day of the year at Pearson Hardman. Even Louis, who thrived on rules and bureaucracy, was known to grumble his way through the presentations, eyeing the clock like it was a lifeline.

For Mike Ross, this was his first experience with the mandatory training, and he was already regretting it.

"This is such a waste of time," Mike whispered to Harvey as they filed into the conference room with the rest of the firm.

"You’re telling me," Harvey replied, adjusting his cuffs with a bored expression. "I could be closing a deal right now, but instead, I’m about to spend two hours listening to someone tell me not to grope my coworkers."

Mike snorted, earning a pointed glare from Jessica as she passed them. "Real subtle, Harvey."

The conference room quickly filled with associates, partners, and support staff, all settling into their seats with varying degrees of reluctance. At the front of the room stood the speaker, a chipper woman in her forties with a no-nonsense demeanor and a name tag that read Susan in bold letters.

"Good morning, everyone," Susan began, her voice overly bright. "Thank you for joining us for this year’s harassment prevention seminar. We’ll be covering a lot of important topics today, including respect in the workplace, appropriate boundaries, and—"

Harvey leaned closer to Mike, his voice a low murmur. "Two hours of this? Kill me now."

Mike bit back a grin, shaking his head.

"And," Susan continued, "we’ll be discussing real-life examples to help illustrate these concepts. For one of our case studies, we’ll even be doing a little roleplay."

The collective groan that rippled through the room was almost audible.

"Great," Harvey muttered. "Because nothing says ‘professional’ like mandatory improv."

Donna, sitting a few rows behind them, leaned forward. "Relax, Harvey. Maybe you’ll learn something."

He turned, smirking. "Like what? How not to send ambiguous emails? I think I’ll manage."

Donna rolled her eyes but didn’t reply, though she shared a knowing look with Jessica, who was watching the exchange with thinly veiled amusement.

Susan clapped her hands. "Alright, let’s dive into our first case study." She clicked a button on the projector remote, and a slide appeared on the screen:

Case Study: An Anonymized Example from Our Firm

The room collectively stiffened as the description began to unfold.

"Two colleagues—one a senior partner, the other a junior associate—have developed a dynamic that raises potential concerns. The senior partner frequently adjusts the associate's clothing during meetings, leans into their personal space while speaking, and uses nicknames like ‘kid’ or ‘puppy.’ The associate, meanwhile, often compliments the senior partner’s appearance and accepts physical gestures like shoulder pats or handshakes that linger a little too long."

Mike raised an eyebrow, leaning toward Harvey. "Wow. These two sound like a real pair of idiots."

"No kidding," Harvey replied, smirking. "Who does that? You’d think they’d figure out how to act like professionals."

Donna covered her mouth to hide a laugh, while Rachel nudged her arm, whispering, "They have no idea, do they?"

Susan continued, her voice cheerful and oblivious to the silent chaos in the room. "Now, to bring this case study to life, I’ll need two volunteers to do a quick roleplay." She scanned the room before pointing directly at Harvey and Mike.

"Mr. Specter, Mr. Ross—would you two mind helping us out?"

The room fell silent. Then, slowly, Donna and Louis exchanged gleeful looks.

Mike frowned. "Us?"

"Yes," Susan said with a smile. "You’ll be playing the colleagues in this scenario. Don’t worry—it’s just a quick exercise."

Harvey scoffed but stood, smoothing his suit. "Fine. Let’s get this over with."

Mike reluctantly followed, his brows furrowed. "This is going to be painful."

They took their places at the front of the room, facing the expectant audience. Susan handed them each a sheet of paper with dialogue prompts.

"Alright," Susan said, gesturing grandly. "Mr. Specter, you’ll be the senior partner, and Mr. Ross, you’ll be the associate. Just follow the script and act it out."

Harvey skimmed the page, snorting. "This is ridiculous."

"Just read it," Mike said, already regretting every decision that had led him to this moment.

Harvey sighed and started, his tone dripping with mock seriousness. "Ross, your tie is crooked again. Honestly, do you even own a mirror?"

He stepped closer, tugging at Mike’s tie with exaggerated motions. The room stifled collective laughter.

"Thanks, boss," Mike deadpanned, glancing at his page. "And may I just say, your suit today is particularly sharp? You always know how to dress for success."

"Oh, please," Harvey said, rolling his eyes. "Flattery will get you nowhere."

He patted Mike on the shoulder, leaving his hand there for just a second too long before stepping back.

They turned to the room, both looking unimpressed.

"Seriously," Mike said, addressing the audience. "Who acts like this? It’s like a bad sitcom."

Harvey nodded in agreement. "Yeah. If these two are real people, they deserve a seminar just for themselves."

The room erupted in barely contained laughter, with Donna, Louis, and Jessica looking like they might burst.

Susan, oblivious, clapped her hands. "Wonderful! Thank you both for that excellent demonstration."

As Harvey and Mike returned to their seats, still making snide comments about the fictional duo, how unrealistic, Donna leaned forward and whispered to Jessica, "Should we tell them?"

Jessica smirked. "Not a chance."