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Chapter Text

CHAPTER 1: Never come back

Flashback

"(F/n) your not serious?" Farlen words came out almost a whisper due to the shock. Holding back tears you took a deep breath and composed yourself.

"I don't expect you to agree with my choice but can you at least understand-" You begged, Farlen and Isabel had jumped to their feet when you told them the news. Levi still sat cross legged on the couch, not meeting your eyes.

"UNDERSTAND WHAT!? Sis, you cant leave, join the military? what are you thinking?" Isabel started to raise her voice, each word charged with emotion. She was in front of you in an instant, eyes open wide and both hands on your shoulders, "You can't leave..." she trailed off.

Not meeting her gaze you clenched your jaw. You didn't know what to say or how to say it. How do you tell the people who are basically your family that you can't continue living like them, thieving until that inevitable day when you get caught and sentenced to death. That you feel like your life is meant for more then this.... that you need an-

"Escape. She wants a way out." Levi interrupted your train of thought. He stood up abruptly and walked straight for the door. Still refusing to look at you.

"Levi.." you manged to say, your breathing was heavy and stifled. It took a long time to build up your trust with Levi, and now.... It was all crumbling down.

Levi opened the door and stood beside it "If you want to go, go. But don't expect us to understand. And when you walk through the door Never.Come.Back" Levi was dead serious, his words more cold then you thought humanly possible.

You swallowed back you tears and looked for the last time into Isabel's and Farlen's eyes, " I'm sorry" you whispered before turning towards the door.

They both stood frozen, mouths open wide.

Just before you left, Levi meet your gaze. His whole body was tense, you softened your eyes, giving him a final look but all you could see was pure anger and betrayal in his eyes. As soon as you stepped over the threshold of the door into the warm night, It was slammed closed behind you.

End of flashback

You stood at the entrance to the underground, A wave of unwanted emotions and memories overtaking you. God what am I doing back here?

"(F/n), are you ready?" Your squad leader Erwin Smith asked placing a hand on your arm, you looked up at him and nodded.

"Lets go."

Chapter Text

You and three other members of Erwin's squad flew behind him. You were going at a slow pace, but your heart beat was racing. Keeping your green hood pulled over your face, Erwin pulled back beside you.
"(F/N), we need you concentrated" he said, in a strangely comforting and informal manner. Well what did you expect? You were sleeping with the man. It wasn't anything serious, you both knew how deadly emotional attachment was in the survey corps. You told Your best friend Hanji it was a sort of 'stress reliever', but in all honesty you craved the passion of it, the way Erwin treated you, and have you seen the mans body?.
Flashback

"How much more?" You asked yawning and stretching your aching arms. "Do you really want to know?" Erwin sighed dropping his pen. You've been helping him with his paperwork for hours, it was almost mid-night, and the candle that illuminated the room was almost burnt out.

Erwin leaned back in his chair and rubbed his eyes, attempting to revive his concentration.
Taking a deep breath you pushed your body out of the weathered velvet arm chair and wandered over to the window. You could feel his eyes on you, trailing your features as you gazed out at the stars. You loved nights like these, when the clear sky allowed the people to see all of its features. Even though you've been out of the underground for years, the sky was still somewhat- new to you.

When you revert you attention back to the room, you caught Erwin's still lingering gaze. A smile playing on the edges of your lips you raised an eyebrow. Instead of looking away embarrassed, Erwin just chuckled slightly keeping the intense eye contact.

You're not entirely sure how you two came from staring at each other to fucking on his desk, but you weren't complaining. It was a weird relationship, you couldn't quiet explain it. Despite your heated and not-so-innocent endeavors, your demeanor towards each other stayed pretty much the same, and you wanted to keep it that way.

End of flashback

"Up ahead" Erwin said as he speed up. You're breath hitched as the 3 figures came into view. Cursing yourself for even coming, you listened to your Squad Leaders commands "(L/N) you're with me". Erwin speed up and started to chase the, as HQ called him, 'ringleader'. Swallowing hard you cleared your mind and trailed Erwin.
Levi was good- better then good he was incredible. But you knew that already. Erwin managed to chase him to the ground. You landed swiftly behind the two, not wanting to intervene, seeing Isabel and Farlen approaching in handcuffs, you knew Erwin left Levi with no choice.
You weren't quite sure why you kept pulling you hood further over your head, they were going to see you eventually. Maybe you were afraid that they thought you betrayed them or led Erwin to them, little did they know no one knew you were even from the underground.

You took your position behind your chained ex-friends, and held your breath as you watched Erwin and Levi fight. It didn't feel...real. Seeing them again, seeing him again. You still loved him, though you hated yourself for it he did something to you, made your heart ache unlike Erwin or anyone else did. And the fact you knew that he hated you....

"Tell me, where did you learn to use 3DMG like that" Erwin asked pacing in front of the 3. His blue eyes occasionally flickering to your stiff form, it was evident that you were nervous or uncomfortable.

Levi tched rolled his eyes just as you would have expected, suddenly Mike smashed his head into the dirt. That's when he saw you. You could see his eyes widen as they meet with yours. Isabel was to busy fighting to pay attention, but Farlen followed Levis gaze...."(F/N)"

Chapter Text

"(F/n)"
Shit
You didn't reply, what could you say? At that point all eyes were on you, letting out a deep sigh you pulled your hood off, keeping your facial features stoic you reverted your gaze to Erwin, who looked at you with open eyes and a bewildered expression, you gave him a stern nod, as in telling him to continue speaking.

Completely unsure Erwin knelt down in front of Levi and continued carefully "My name is Erwin Smith, why don't we make a deal"

You shifted uncomfortably as Levi eyes were glued to you, you couldn't quite make out what was behind them, Anger and shock probably, maybe you were crazy but you swear you saw a hint of relief?

Erwin sighed and continued despite Levi blatantly ignoring him "Join us and I will let your crimes go unpunished"

This was enough to make Levis head snap back towards Erwin "You've got to be fucking kidding me" Levi spat looking up at Erwin who replied quickly "Or else we can hand you over to the military police?"

A tense silence settled over the grounds, Levi looked up at you "What do you think?" He spat with a little more acid than absolutely necessary.

"It's not like you really have a choice..." You trailed off, not meeting his gaze. Even when he was handcuffed and pinned to the ground, he still intimidated you somehow.

"(F/n)! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!" Isabel yelled as she finally snapped out of her shock, all eyes fell on you again as you opened you mouth to speak, but closed it again realizing that you had no satisfactory response. Noticing this Erwin coughed loudly and spoke again "So, is that a yes or a no?"
Levi took one more look around him, still confused as hell, but seeing no other option he replied reluctantly "Fine...."

The journey home was awkward to say the least. You could tell everyone was full of questions, just waiting for the right time to ask them. You kept your head down, walking a couple steps behind Erwin. A million unspoken conversation played in your head, what were you going to tell Erwin? Farlen, Isabel?.
Entranced In your own alternate universe you didn't notice Erwin slowing his pace until he walked beside you.
He stayed silent for a bit, allowing the sound of bustling streets to wash over the awkward silence.
He talked quiet enough for only the two of you to hear, "I'm...not really sure where to begin"
Sighing you turned your head slightly, Erwin's jaw was clenched, as if he was holding back frustration or some kind of anger.
"What do you mean?" You said knowing perfectly well what he meant but frankly you found it unfair that he was mad at you. I mean a past in the underground is not one you so willingly share.
Erwin cleared his throat then continued "God... Why didn't you tell me? Do you know how complicated you've made things?"
"It wouldn't have changed the outcome of the mission" you answer ambiguously, desperately not wanting to talk about this anymore you directed your attention elsewhere.
Growing more frustrated Erwin let out a deep sigh "Look I'm not going to make scene, just come by my office"
You scoffed in response, you weren't normally so bitter but this whole thing had you on edge.
Erwin speed up again, leading the group into the Survey Corps complex.
It was mid-day so all the soldiers were out training. Levi tched at all the stares and muffled whispers directed at him.
Erwin gave some commands to his other squad members, his gaze lingered on your form as he spoke to you "(F/N) show them to their dorms, clean them up".
Levi's muscled tensed slightly a mixture of anger by being described as unclean and jealousy in how Erwin was looking at you. It all happened so fast it never really sank in for Levi.You were here again... After all that time, since he slammed the door on you 7 years ago he never expected to see you again and defiantly not in theses circumstances.
As you led them to the doors the silence was unbearable. You could feel Levi's eyes on you as Farlen was discreetly keeping Isabel under control.
"The girl dorms are ...em here" you mumbled signalling to the door on your right. You looked up at Isabel who reluctantly went through the door slamming it closed.
Without a word you turned on your heels and continued to the boys dorms.
You felt terrible for not addressing the elephant in the room, but in all honesty what could you say?
Stoping you sighed and pushed open the handle of the boys dorms. You walked in and stopped in front of a bunk. "Here's where you sleep, showers are down the hall to your left, uniforms are in the wardrobe, Erwin would want to introduce you so be ready in an hour" You hated how matter-of-fact you sounded. Finally you looked up, Levi stared at you with his same bored expressions, the two of them obviously expected you to say more but instead you gave a half smile "I've gotta go".
Just as you were about to leave you stopped, not looking back. "Sorry" you said, the word with its own entire depth of meaning, before heading out the door to Erwins office.

You took a deep breath and composed yourself before knocking on Erwins office door. Don't get mad don't get mad you repeated in your head as a tall figure appeared behind the open door.
"Come in" his voice was low, as if he had spent a long time contemplating and was trying his best to stay content.
Making eye contact you slid through the gap of his body and the door.
You wandered into the middle of the room as Erwin shut and locked the door.
You're heart rate started to pick up, what normally went on behind Erwins locked office door was far from innocent.
You sat up on his desk and allowed you legs to dangle. Not wanting to fight you spoke first "You're right I'm sorry I should have told you-"
"You lied to me" Erwin interrupted quickly, moving forward slowly closing the gap between you.
"I didn't lie.. I just didn't tell you everything". Erwin was now right in front of you.
He placed a hand on your check, making your body tingle from the sudden touch. You wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him closer. "Levi... The way he looked at you...how well do you know him" Erwin Interrupted the silence.
You sighed and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling your body closer to his, making Erwin moan quietly- almost inaudible.
"We, were close friends back in the underground...... Close" you repeated thinking back to all the heated moments you and Levi shared back then.
Snapping out of your trance you reverted your attention back to Erwins body.
Not wanting to talk about him anymore you pressed your lips against Erwins neck. Kissing up his jawline, you stopped, lips inches apart.
His eyes stared into yours, as he was deep on thought. A smile played on your lips as you rolled your hips up against his own, catching his attention.
"Don't worry about Levi" you said in almost a whisper, "Just think about me and all the things were going to do in this hour" your lips were pressed up against his ear as you spoke causing shivers to go down Erwins spine.
Forcefully pushing all thoughts of Levi outside your head, you crashed your lips onto Erwins.

Chapter Text

Straightening out your uniform you went to grab the handle of the door before Erwin arms snaked around your waist.
You could feel his hot breath against your neck "We still have fifteen minutes" his whispers sounded husk and it turned you on even more.
You smiled slightly and leaned your head back till it lay in the crook of his neck, looking into his eyes you smiled "As alluring as that sounds, I've gotta get these new recruits of yours ready" you reply, your smile slowly fading as all the chaos surrounding Levi comes crashing back into your brain.
Erwin sighs and gives you one last kiss on the neck "Have fun with that" he says as he turns to get his shirt.

Flashback
"(F/n) COME ON ALREADY" you heard Isabel yell for you as she bangs on your bedroom door.
"GIVE ME A SECOND" you reply in the same tone wrapping a scarf around your neck, the underground got absolutely freezing when winter came, another reason upon many why you hated the place with such a vengeance.
You wandered out the room, and looked around. You and Isabel met around six months ago when you both tried to rob the same house at the same time...a great bonding opportunity right?
Nevertheless you guys clicked just like that. Both orphans you decided to join together. You guys were squatting in some run down abandoned apartment in the outskirts of the city.
Isabel grabbed your arm and basically hauled you out the front door.
You squirmed out of her grip and regained your composure before asking "So what's the plan?"
Isabel put on a Cheshire cat smile you knew all to well; "The guards go on lunch break at the gate at 3pm, which is- " Isabel quickly checks her watch "in about an hour" she adds.
"We sneak past them, run up the stairs and release the bird. Easy peasy"
Before you could ask any more questions she already turned around and started walking, the bird held close to her chest.

"Shhh" you whispered quietly as you and Isabel tip toed past the security of the toll stairs.
This was a bad idea
"HEY YOU HAVE TO PAY" a mans voice yelled behind you
"Shit" you both said simultaneously.
Looking behind you, your eyes opened in terror of the sight of four burly men, whose expressions were nothing less then infuriated.
"THEIR FUCKING STREET RATS TRYING TO GET TO THE SURFACE-" one of the men yelled. You didn't catch the end of his sentence because you and Isabel had already made it into full sprint.
You were fast and strong, though sadly not strong enough to fight off 4 fully grown men. You two swerved around ally streets, the men still hot on your trail. One of them grabbed your wrist, you let out a loud scream and kicked him as Isabel bit another ones arms. You were both running again until you turned a corner.
"Up here" you said through huffed breaths as you and Isabel run up a flight of stairs, crashing into a locked door. You two stayed silent, backs pressed against the door.
Before you had time to move, the door was pulled open and you two fell onto the ground, over the threshold of the front door- landing onto of each other in a heap on the floor.
You were the first to look up, your (e/c) eyes meeting a pair of steel grey ones.

End of flashback

You stood on the training ground with the rest of the scouting legion. All squad leaders stood in front of their squads in neat formation.
You stood in the front line, biting your lip as Farlen, Isabel and Levi made their introductions.
You smiled slightly as Isabel jumped up stating her name. 'At least she haven't lost her blind enthusiasm' you thought to yourself.
When Levi stepped up you felt you're heart rate pick up, his extremely nonchalance attitude made people whisper words of disapproval.
"Levi Ackerman" he stated bluntly, skimming his death stare around the crowd, stopping at yours for an instant before folding his arms.

The crowd dispersed, leaving the three to be lead to the training grounds by their new squad leader, Flagon.
"Ah (F/n)" Flagon smiled as you came into sight. You gave him a nod and stood beside him, watching the three train.
"For underground dirt their pretty spectacular" Flagon said a sense of superiority flowing throughout his words.
You clenched your jaw, obviously the news of your newly revealed past in the underground hadn't reached him yet, which was surprising as the word had spread like wild fire since you stepped into the complex.
"Their spectacular full stop" you replied looking away irritated.
He grunted in response, you sighed and took of in the other direction. You needed some space after all that happened, sort out all your thoughts.

Dusk had long settled in as you walked around the halls, just as you were about to turn a corner you felt a hand on your shoulder which stopped you dead in your tracks.
"Don't you dare ignore me this time"