Chapter Text
The breeze gently wisped past the castle, filling the otherwise quiet afternoon. The hustle and bustle of the city below was vaguely audible, and from up on the balcony, you could see most of the houses, shops, restaurants, farms, and many other buildings.
Stargazer breathed out a soft sigh, leaning on the rails of his bedroom balcony and glancing down at the city below. It was a very nice view in his opinion, but not as good as his observatory.
His prosthetic shark tail wagged lazily behind him as he slumped a bit, holding his head in his hands. He'd been a lot more down recently, for a reason he couldn't explain. However, he told himself constantly he'd be fine.
The Kingdom of Star had recently been trying to gain allyship with the Kingdom of Sun, and apparently one of the best ways to do that was arranged marriage between the princes of each kingdom. So, here Stargazer was, stuck in the middle of it all.
Murmuring something under his breath, Stargazer stretched out his posture, trying to appear more refined despite being alone with nobody to show off to. It had become a habit over the years to always be formal and courteous and elegant and prince-like; a habit that was difficult to break.
Stealing one last glance at the afternoon sky, Stargazer stepped back into his bedroom, sitting on the edge of his plush bed. He gently sunk his claws into the blankets, deep enough to offer some sort of release but not enough to tear.
His thoughts recently had become so jumbled. Diplomacy this, money that, marriage this, kingdom that- it stressed him out. Stargazer normally led a relaxed life; thus, he didn't know how to regulate his stress and anxiety properly.
He flopped onto his side with a groan, sinking into the soft covers. Glancing up at his ceiling, he smiled a bit when he saw the glow-in-the-dark stars he had put up with his mom years ago. It was one of his few childhood memories he looked back on fondly.
While Stargazer did have somewhat of a childhood, it was never 'normal'. When he wasn't taken up by royal duties and private tutoring, he was almost always by himself, simply watching the stars; which was how he got his name. It was still his favorite thing to do.
The stars listened to him. They never judged. They never interrupted. They were kind and understanding. Stargazer much preferred them over everybody. The stars never called him weird and they never stereotyped him as some snobbish prince. They understood. Inphernals never did. That was what he hated about the world.
He never got along with spawnlings his age when he was young. Too energetic, too loud, too feisty. Too much for him to bear. Any time his parents tried to make him socialize, he'd always be crowded and shouted at and touched and it all was too much. He simply grew to associate almost everyone with the feeling of too much.
He'd learned to avoid the feeling, like a dog and a shock collar, which led to him growing increasingly antisocial. But he didn't mind. The stars always kept him company. They'd listen to him talk for hours and they wouldn't say a word, which he both liked and hated.
Stargazer wanted someone to talk to, to share all his thoughts with. To ramble endlessly about his favorite things and rant continously about his most hated things. But, it was hard enough to just introduce himself to people, so he knew the stars were the closest he'd get to an actual person.
He'd always felt… disconnected from others. He never made friends since he didn't know who only wanted to befriend him to brag about being close with the prince, and who actually liked him for himself. He doubted anyone actually did. He was awkward and shy and easily overstimulated and 'weird'. At least, he always thought that. People's perceptions of him only made those thoughts more realistic.
Just thinking about it all made him want to scream into a pillow. And so he grabbed the nearest one, put it over his face, and he screamed. He screamed until he was almost lightheaded. He let out all his anger at the world and all his stress and fear and built-up overstimulation onto his pillow.
He eventually pulled away, staring at the pillow with a slightly sad look. " …You didn't deserve that. I'm sorry. " Stargazer gently put the pillow back in it's place on his bed, then made sure everything was symmetrical and exactly where it should be. Every little imperfection made him want to scream again.
Right as he was about to get off his bed and actually do something productive, a soft knocking sound radiated from the door. He froze, taking a moment to mentally reassure himself it was fine. He then called out tentatively, " …Who is it? "
The person on the other side of the door responded curtly. " Eggsquerade. Your parents' new assistant. You have been requested to come outside and meet someone. I can escort you when you're ready. "
Stargazer nodded, but then replied with a quick " of course " once he realized Eggsquerade couldn't see him. He checked and double-checked his clothes, making sure they were all neat and good-looking. He then looked in his mirror, running his fingers through his hair once or twice to make sure it looked just right. He didn't even know who the certain someone was, but he was taught to always try to make the best first impression you can.
He eventually opened his bedroom door and walked out, seeing a dapperly dressed person waiting outside, who he assumed was Eggsquerade. " I'm ready. " Stargazer dipped his head, reaching down silently to fidget with a clay beaded lizard in his pocket. It was one of his favorite things, and he took it everywhere for comfort.
" Ah, let's go then. " Eggsquerade dipped their head back, then led Stargazer down one of the large hallways. Tapestries hung from the walls, some of the Kingdom's flag, some of the night sky, and some of famous people from the Kingdom's history. There was even one of the myths Sianachkit and Beaststaff, which still made Stargazer shiver a little.
The walk was filled with an awkward yet somewhat comfortable silence. Stargazer wanted to make some form of small talk, but both had no clue how to start it and also he just didn't have the energy to talk much. The best small talk he'd ever started was 'uh, nice weather, right?' that somehow turned into an actual conversation. The opening made Stargazer cringe.
Eventually, the two of them reached the castle entrance, where Stargazer noticed a few people were gathered. The two he instantly recognized were his parents, but then… the queen of the Kingdom of Sun. Odd. Then someone he very vaguely remembered. The prince of the Kingdom of Sun. His heart dropped a little as his brain began to realize. As Stargazer got closer to the small group, he silently tuned in on their conversation.
" …Lightblade, it's truly an honor to connect our kingdoms like this. May the stars be in our favor for the future. " His father bowed, earning a light amused chuckle from Queen Lightblade. " Of course. May the sun be in our favor as well. "
As much as Stargazer wanted to stay in the back and let everyone else socialize, that dream was quickly crushed. " Ah, is that your prince? " Queen Lightblade asked, gesturing to Stargazer. He quickly nodded and put on a smile, though internally he wanted to shrivel up and turn into dust. The person he assumed was the Sun prince waved at him, and he quietly returned the gesture.
His mother turned to him, placing her hand on his shoulder. " Stargazer, meet Sunburst, your future husband. "
Stargazer tried to keep his eyes from widening. " I- I thought it was supposed to be months out..? " He questioned warily, trying his best to not come off as rude. His fidgeting with his bead lizard was probably obvious, but nobody commented on it.
" We decided the earlier you two meet, the better! Do you have a problem with it? " It felt condescending, almost. Stargazer hated it. He swiftly shook his head no, knowing he shouldn't talk back or speak out. He just had to roll with the punches and then it'd all be fine.
" That's great then! I was thinking the two of them could spend some time together to get to know each other? " Lightblade queried, earning an affirmative nod from the Star king. Stargazer wasn't listening much at all; he was beginning to space out.
He had been trying to ignore the marriage for as long as he could. Distraction helped with his anxiety- it could totally help with his long-term issues. Definitely. He simply stared at the ground, tuning out the world for just a minute.
Was he really going to marry him? Well, he didn't mean it in a bad way, but still. Just the thought of marrying anyone made him want to retch. Spending the rest of his life with someone and having to actually love them? At least it was arranged and more for diplomatic reasons, so he probably didn't have to actually love hi-
" Dear, are you alright? " A hand on his shoulder made Stargazer jump a bit, then he quickly nodded yes. " Sorry, I uh- zoned out a bit. I apologize. "
" It's alright, try to listen next time. " His dad huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. " Did you pay attention to anything? " He scoffed slightly.
Stargazer stammered. " Uh- I didn't exactly hear everything, no… " He felt the shame wash over him in waves, making him tremble a tiny bit. This was exactly why he hated social interaction. It just made him want to crawl into a hole in the earth and bury himself inside.
" You and Sunburst can go and get to know each other in private, alright? You can go wherever you wish. " His mother explained, instantly making Stargazer even more anxious. He needed to have been warned before this. He had plans, and he needed to practice speaking to himself in the mirror and-
" Are you okay? "
" Y-yeah. I apologize again. " Stargazer dipped his head, not exactly identifying who was talking to him.
" We can go now then, right? "
Oh. It was Sunburst. He really didn't feel like talking to him right now.
" Of course. Might I recommend the flower fields near Stargazer's observatory? They're very nice to take a walk in. " His mother suggested, making him a little relieved he didn't have to speak.
" Sure, lead me there! " Sunburst chirped enthusiastically, then lightly tugged on Stargazer's sleeve, making him flinch. " Let's g- wait I'm sorry I uh- forgot you don't like touch- " Sunburst quickly apologized, pulling away.
" It's- it's okay. You don't need to apologize. " Stargazer murmured, turning around to follow Eggsquerade as the latter guided the two towards the fields.