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Poland was walking on the street with his hands in his pockets, loudly whistling a cheery tone. The perfect picture of innocence, in his opinion. In reality, though, he looked rather like someone up to no good, what was coincidentally exactly the case. The large metal bucket hanging from his arm also did nothing to make the picture more convincing.
He stopped short before a house and squinted to read the sign. Number 48, Héderváry Erzsébet. Yup, this was the house he was looking for. With that out of the way, he looked around to make sure no one would see him and then jumped over the fence.
He wasn’t exactly breaking in, he had keys and an invitation to come whenever he wants to. Though, Hungary would probably make some exceptions to the rule after this.
He landed quietly and stalked across the garden to the hose. Hungary’s dog, Mihail was taking a nap in the far corner of the garden, as useless as ever, not even noticing the intruder.
Poland broke into an evil grin as he filled his bucket with cold water. Hungary will probably kill him, but it doesn’t matter. What does matter is having fun!
With that thought, he opened the front door and stepped into the house, careful not to spill the water in the bucket.
Hungary was still fast asleep in her bed, wearing horse-patterned pajamas, and totally unprotected against what was awaiting her.
Poland could barely keep himself from laughing out loud. He hasn’t done this in two decades. He had switched out soaking her with water for the more widely preferred Hungarian tradition of sprinkling her with perfume for a while, but it was all just a ruse, to get her to lower her guards. And she totally did.
He fought the urge to cackle maniacally, as it would probably accomplish nothing other than waking Hungary up. He grabbed the bucket with both hands and with a sudden movement emptied it over her bed. The reaction was immediate.
“What the fuck?!” Hungary yelled, jumping out of her bed and hitting her head against the low ceiling in the process. Poland stifled a giggle.
She looked around franctically searching for her attacker. The moment she saw him, she stopped and groaned.
“Feliks… I thought we were past this... I thought we came to an agreement... How can you betray me like this?” Hungary sniffled dramatically. Poland was grinning widely.
“I’m very sorry,” he said. He wasn’t in the slightest. “But it had to be done. Śmigus-Dyngus is a tradition.” Hungary rolled her eyes.
“Whatever,” she shook her head. “Just let me go change out of my pajamas, which are by the way totally soaked, thanks, and then we can go get breakfast or something.” The last part, she was already saying from behind the closed door of the bathroom.
Poland laid against the doorframe with a smug smirk. That didn’t go as bad as he thought it would.
“Did you already visit Ukraine?” Hungary asked. Poland winced.
“Yeah. Turns out she can be really strong and agressive if she thinks someone is breaking in and going to rob her.” His head was going to be hurting for a while where she slammed it into her door, that’s for sure. She apologized for that after she recognized him. Apparently she only wanted to intimidate him, not cause any damage, but she panicked.
“Serves you right,” came the reply. He could hear muffled laughter following that and then the sound of flowing water.
Poland was already on his way to the kitchen to prepare breakfast when a horrible suspicion entered his mind.
Since when does changing clothes involve this much water?
He slowly turned back around and pushed the door in to reveal Hungary grinning widely and filling a red plastic bucket with water.
At the sight he let out a high-pitched shriek and broke into a run towards the garden, dropping his own bucket in the process. It landed with a loud metallic clang. Hungary followed him with her bucket in hand. She apparently had no qualms about laughing maniacally.
The screaming and laughter eventually woke up Mihail too who just ran around, adding barking to the cacophony, and perfectly sabotaging both Poland’s every attempt at getting away and Hungary’s every attempt at catching him.
After this long and tiring game of hide and seek without actual hiding but a with a bucket of cold water and lots of screaming, she finally had him cornered against the outer wall of the house.
Poland has given up on trying to search for an escape route. There was none. Instead, he was trying to reason with her.
“Erzsi, you’re a dignified, thousand years old nation, please don’t do this,” he pleaded.
“When have I ever been dignified?” Hungary asked with a wide grin and lifted the bucket. Unfortunately for her, that was the moment Mihail found them and greeted his owner by jumping on her. She stumbled, and what remained of the water in the bucket during the chase all spilled to the ground.
Poland couldn’t help it; he started laughing.
“Good dog,” he gasped between two fits of laughter.
“Oh, just laugh while you still can,” muttered Hungary with a sour expression. And then she reached for the garden hose.
Poland was almost too preoccupied with keeping himself from falling into the mud to notice what she was about to do. He only had time to scream “noooooo!” before the stream of cold water hit him squarely in the face.
When Hungary turned the tap off, he was soaked to the bone and she was wheezing with laughter.
Poland thought about what a sight they must be and broke into laughter once again. Both of them dripping wet and lightly shivering, Hungary still in her pajamas, and they are laughing so much they can’t even get their words to form sentences.
“Your neighbors must think we’re insane,” he said once they’ve calmed down somewhat.
“They already do,” Hungary pointed at a house across the street where a little girl, no more than ten years old was leaning out of the window, watching them with a bright smile. Poland waved at her.
“It’s a tradition,” he shouted in Hungarian. The little girl giggled and waved back, then disappeared from the window.
He turned back to Hungary.
“Let’s go in,” she said. “I’m freezing.” It was still only spring after all, and the mornings were still cold, especially when one has just been soaked in ice cold water.
“By the way,” she added with a devilish smile, “you woke me up, so you’re making breakfast.”
With that, she turned around and started walking towards the door, ignoring Poland’s noises of protest.
hypersugarroxy Wed 23 Mar 2016 05:42PM UTC
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