Chapter Text
Bellatrix glared at her reflection. She never did like the shape of her nose, but now, after it has been broken and fixed its off center just enough for it to upset her. The bruising is now a sickly yellow that she is now trying to cover it up, but the makeup just doesn’t match her skin quite right, it was just enough that she scrubbed the makeup with some vengeance. Even now, more time has passed, but what he did remains and it hurts, it leaves her haunted.
“General?” Fives asked, seeing Bellatrix at the sink in her bathroom, dressed in an oversized shirt and shorts, the makeup was on the sink and left quite the mess. “Yes? Oh, Fives, do you need something?” Bellatrix asked moving her hand as though brushing her hair to hide, but then stopped and awkwardly lowered her arm, realizing that she has no hair as to speak of.
“I uh no. I uh, just wanted to check up on you. How’re you feeling?” Fives asked, seeing the splotchy makeup on her arms in an attempt to hide the bruising and lightsaber slashes that mar her skin like some disgusting form of branding.
Which it is.
Pong Krell all but branded Bellatrix with his lightsaber, the marks will not disappear from her, not for a long time and not without ointment, which she can’t afford at the moment. It’s a luxury item, nothing else.
“Honestly, not so good. I...never mind, it’s nothing.” Bellatrix said gathering her formal clothes and was about to rush back into the bathroom but Fives stopped her gently. “No, it’s something. Look, I, I know I’m probably the last guy--”
“No, you’re not, if anything you’re probably one of the better people to talk too. I...never mind it's a natborn problem.” Bellatrix said looking down. “No tell me. Maybe I can help.” Fives insisted, hiding his flinch at the general referring to herself as only a natborn. He thought that the generals were unaware of the term they used for non-clones, it's a slightly derogatory term.
“Well...it's my looks. I’m sure compared to others I’m just broken goods. Natborns put a huge emphasis on looks and with how I look now...yeah, like I said a natborn problem. A women’s problem. It’s nothing, see you in a minute.” Bellatrix said as she quickly closed the bathroom door and changed into a shirt with long sleeves, long pants, and a hat, which kept on tipping over her eyes. Before, she’d just put her ponytail through the loop in the back of the hat and it kept it balanced.
“You’re not broken goods. You’re a great woman. You don’t have to hide, not from us clones.” Fives said as the door opened up. “Maybe...but I see the looks people give me. Disgust, pity, and some I bet, wonder if I do this intentionally. Cutting I mean, the scars the lightsaber left on me, look pretty similar.” Bellatrix admitted not really looking at Fives, just lost in her own mind.
“I hate myself for letting Krell get the best of me like that. And I hate how upset I am with how I look now! I’ve never been...vain about how I look so why am I so upset now? It shouldn’t even matter. No one paid attention to me before, so why should this upset me so much?” Bellatrix growled glaring at the floor, there it was said. She’s putting her pride and looks before anything else, when its stupid and not needed for this war.
“Because you were comfortable with who you are.” Fives said softly, stepping closer. “I think everyone is entitled to be upset when they change. Plenty of vod, when they’ve become disfigured, feel like outsiders. Looking the same is part of our identity, despite trying to be different at the same time.” Bellatrix smiled as Fives spoke. “Thanks, your words mean a lot but...this is something I need to overcome. It’s especially hard for women, we are always comparing ourselves to the other and well...compared to others…” Bellatrix picked up a scarf to hide some more scar that went around her neck.
“Why? Why should you compare yourself?” Fives asked, as it is something the clones don’t understand. Sure, they compare tattoos, haircuts, and scars but what Bellatrix is implying...natborns can be downright cruel to the other in terms of appearance. “Dunno. Just something we do. The prettiest person I’ve seen is Padme, any man she marries, will be proud to have her.” Bellatrix admitted stepping out with Fives close behind her.
“You’re just as beautiful as she is. Many of the men think so.” Fives said, as Bellatrix is indeed an attractive woman, but then again, the clones don’t get to see a lot of females, and even fewer get laid as it were. “Thanks.” But it’s only skin deep. I was never a looker before, who would look at me now? Who would even want someone like me?
“Will you marry me?”