Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hello, to whoever is reading this journal, I hope you’re doing well. If you’re reading this, that probably means that either a. I’ve escaped this cave or b. I’ve fucking died and you’re another person who fell down here like me.

Well, let me tell you who I am: I’m Jesse (or Jessie, since even my parents don’t know how to spell it), nicknamed Frisk for some ungodly reason, I’m fourteen years old, I was born in America, and while I was visiting my cousins who live in the bumfuck middle of nowhere in the United Kingdom, I decided to fall into a hole in a mountain for a measly 10 pound bet and I think that covers just about everything you need to know about me.

So now I’m stuck in an underground cave. But wait! It’s not just any cave. It’s a cave full of monsters that want to kill all humans for some reason.

Well, most of them do at least. Some of them are actually pretty nice, like my current caretaker, this weird goat human thing who I’m assuming is named Dorel, because she pointed to herself and said that. She actually was the one to give me this journal, so I’m sure not all monsters are bad. Maybe it’s to help me not be insane in a world where I can’t understand anything? I don’t know. Also, did I mention that none of these monsters speak English?

Yeah, so turns out these monsters speak a completely different language. Not some garbled shit you’d probably expect, but like... an actual, fully fledged language. Like you can tell if you hear it. It sounds really familiar but I don’t know, I literally have zero clue on how to describe it.

But, besides the whole language thing, I’ve been chilling. Dorel gave me this really nice room and place to stay in while she watches over me. I’m safe, to say the least, though occasionally when I wander the whole cave, I encounter a monster who wants to kill me for some ungodly reason. Thankfully, they’re rather easy to deal with with Dorel scaring them away. It’s kinda funny, not gonna lie.

Also, I forgot to mention that this part of the cave I’m in is actually a ruined fortress thing, kinda tattered and torn apart but still lived in. It’s really pretty as it’s this really gorgeous purple color. Compared to where I fell from, a dark black void with only a flower bed to boot, it’s nice. Beautiful, if you will.

Speaking of the place where I fell from, there was one creature that I met that actually spoke English. He’s a cunt though. Remember when I said that a lot of monsters tried to kill me at first? Well that flower fucker was the first one to do so, and tried to so while tricking me. He was this yellow flower monster, and if I remember correctly, he acted really friendly like:

“How dost thou don, I’m Blossmosh, Blossmosh the Flower! Thou motest be new to the Underground! Worry nocht, I will teach thee the lessons of the world” or some shit like that in this weird fucking ass Irish accent. Then he taught me that I apparently had a soul here and that love is shared through absorbing monster magic pellets throughout the Underground. “Catch them all,” he said. “Love is shared through pellets!”

But that bastard fucking lied. When I touched those fucking pellets, it burned hotter than Satan’s ass cheeks and immediately he wrapped plant tentacles around me, called me a fucking fool, and then said some shit like “It’s kill or be killed” still in his fucking ass Irish accent like what kind of accent does that flower have? It’s so fucking weird like it sounds Irish but it isn’t. Like a mix of British and Irish, that’s more like it and then Irish decided to go down in a cave and smoke weed or something. Thank god Dorel saved me from that tentai loving bastard.

I haven’t seen that Irish fucking cunt ever since he got blasted away by Dorel. As I said before, I’ve just been chilling in Dorel’s home. There’s a lot of monsters who want to kill me I think but most of them have been pretty harmless so I usually just run away to find Dorel.

It’s kinda fun exploring the whole place. There’s a lot here that just makes me feel like a little kid. A lot of rooms have spikes through the floor, but many of these spikes, y’know, retract. There’s this room near the entrance I think that’s full of spikes but you have to follow a certain pathway in order to get through. There’s this other room that has unstable flooring and if you fall, you fall into a completely new room. The fall is quite fun, I must say.

I actually met this vegetable monster in one of the rooms below and that monster kind of looks like a fucking weird ass carrot. Like a really pale carrot. I think he called himself Naap or some shit like that. He gave me a piece of his flesh after I avoided him attacking me for a while and might I say: best carrots I’ve ever had. I wasn’t even allergic to them, they were that good!

Some other monsters I met were these weird bunch of white frogs that kept on saying “Egye preoogtee”, so I’m assuming that’s its name, this weird cyclops who tried to bully me (joke’s on him though, I’m the biggest fucking bully in town), this flying bug monster that’s more afraid of me than I am of it I think, this other bug monster whose a bit of a fucking asshole and then there’s jello. Literal blobs of jello. Shit’s crazy.

There’s also these spider monsters I think? They look like spiders but they act like regular monsters. They’re doing this weird bake sale thing here apparently, selling Donuts and this weird Cider drink thing. Dorel bought some for me because I think I looked curious (I wasn’t) and both tasted really... weird. There was a sign on one of the cobweb that said “Spidre Jibacen Sale! Aul feo gad to Cap Sodne” and I’m assuming Spidre and Sale means Spider and Sale, I don’t just an inkling or something.

Honestly, I think some monsters are just weird. There was this rock monster who kept on saying “Is dis richt” whenever I wanted him to move to this floor lever thing. “Is dis richt...”, pretty sure that meant “Is this right”. Ironic isn’t it? I’m asking if my translation of that phrase was right.

Honestly, going back to the whole language of the Monsters thing, I’m kinda realizing that this language is like German. A weird version of German. Like if German had a baby with a creole or something. Like, one of the phrases Dorel uses is “Vilt du Afenetun?” which is very similar to German “Willst du Abendessen?” Am I making sense or nah?

And before you ask, yes, I speak German. I speak four languages actually: English, of course, Italian, German and Japanese. My dad is German, my mom is Japanese, and I’m taking an Italian Language class back in school. And yes, I am aware of the implication.

But moving back to the German things, it’s like if English had a baby with German? Or Dutch? I don’t know. Again, I’m not the language knowing guy, I'm the language learning guy. My cousin is the knowing guy. Speaking of my cousin, whoever gets this notebook (if I don’t get out at least), if YOU get out and this fucker near the town named Harold is still alive, tell him that his cousin, Frisk, has a very hearty message for him:

FUCK YOU YOU ASS CUNT, YOU’RE THE WHOLE REASON I’M IN THIS FUCKING SHITHOLE WHERE EVERYONE WANTS TO KILL ME AND MURDER ME EVEN THOUGH I’M LITERALLY A FUCKING CHILD, AND ALL FOR A MEASLY 10 POUND BET? THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU KNEW THE RUMORS AND YOU STILL FUCKED ME OVER, FIRST THING I’LL DO WHEN I EITHER DIE OR GET OUT IS BEAT YOUR FUCKING ASS, WHETHER ON EARTH, HEAVEN OR HELL, I’LL KICK YOUR ASS YOU FUCKING CUNT, AND THEN I’LL TAKE MY 10 POUNDS, NOT EVEN WORTH 10 DOLLARS, BUT STILL MONEY IS MONEY, AND THEN I’LL SPIT IN YOUR FACE AND SAY FUCK YOU YOU PROTO-INDO-EUROPEAN SLUT, FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

That is all. Please, deliver this message as soon as you can. Thank you. I’m going to stop writing now. Dorel is calling me now, I think it’s time to eat dinner. I do hope it’s not that weird apple beef thing she served yesterday. Honestly, the food here has been absolutely lovely (except for that apple beef thing). Dorel makes a really good pie. I don’t remember what she called it, but it tasted a lot like butterscotch pie. Ok, I really gotta stop writing. I’ll write more tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Isc = I (pronounced like fish without the f)

Du = Only You (pronounced like the German Du, like doow sound in English or smth?)

Hoe = She (Like Ho but you slide your mouth down, like in German schön)

He = He (pronounced like heh without the h at the end)

Hit = It

We = We (pronounced Veh without the h)

Ji = You all (Yi, like ih)

Hü = They (Hoo but more forward?)

Human = Mann

Monster = Dyrs (Duurs, like rounding your lips when saying ee)

Hala (Hah-lah, without, you guessed it, the second h in each syllable) = Hello

Hwat hatst du? (Hwat hahtst du) = What is your name?

Isc hate Frisk (Ish hahteh Frisk) = My name is Frisk

Jilïcod to dï meten (Yileechoed toh de metun) = Pleased to meet you

Isc dance dï (Ish dahnchu de) = Thank you!

Isc jeorn helpen (Ish yeorn hulpun) = You’re welcome / No problem(?) (I think it means “I yearn to help”)

Hala, isc hate Frisk. Jilïcod to dï meten.

So, as you can see above, it appears I’m gonna be learning Doedisc. That’s the name of the language apparently that the monsters speak. Or, as Dorel called herself, the Dyrses.

It all started this morning when Dorel woke me up, gave me breakfast (an oatmeal soup. It tastes better than what it sounds like) let me do some wandering around the ruins (I found a plastic knife so that’s kewl and I bullied that cyclops with it), until it became lunchtime, where Dorel called for me.

Inside her home, I saw that she had a bunch of books laid out on the table that were, as I later learned, Educational Textbooks on the language. Dorel said something about practicing and pointed towards my journal, so I’m assuming that I’ll be writing down what I learn here.

So yeah. That’s basically what happened. Dorel and I practiced learning Doedisc, with basic phrases and more. I of course had no problem speaking it because I am an absolute god at learning other languages, not to flex, of course.

Now that I think about it, Doedisc REALLY sounds like Dutch but even funnier. You know that “we hebben een serieus probleem?” It’s like that but with more English stuff. Like, “we heven aneh seerioseh proebleemeh”. Like Dutch became a creole or something. I don’t really know, I haven’t really learned Dutch all too much. I’m a German person.

But, besides that, nothing much really happened. Dorel gave me a meat pie for dinner, which was lovely though now I wonder what kind of meat she used. Like, what kind of meat is there in this cave? Does she eat other Dyrses? Wait, does she eat HUMANS?

Nah, that’s stupid. None of the other Dyrses seem to be afraid of her, and she’s teaching me the language so it’d be weird if she was a human eater. Does she have a fetish of teaching humans her language before she eats them? You know what, let’s just move on, I’m thinking too weird.

Speaking of which, I wonder how my family is doing. It’s been four days since I fell down, and I think that they think I’m dead. Nobody ever comes back from the hole in the mountain, according to that Proto-Indo-European slut of a cousin, and anyone who ventures in is presumed dead.

So I presume that they presume I’m dead and honestly? I don’t really know how to feel. I mean, I miss them. I miss them a lot. But I don’t know how to feel because I don’t know if I’ll survive this place. A lot of Dyrses that I encounter want to kill me and I’m assuming that if there’s an exit (if there is one), I’ll have to survive even more Dyrses.

So there’s a great chance I’ll die, but there’s still a chance that I can see them again. But again, there’s that huge chance. But at the same time... you get what I’m saying? I’m just confused. It’s like it hasn’t even set in and yet it has. I think I’ll just ignore it for now. Maybe when I die, I'll think about it really.

Enough death talk. I gotta get ready to sleep. Dorel said that we’ll do some more lessons in Dyrses (I think), so best get good sleep for now. I’ll write more tomorrow.