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Fixing a Husband's Betrayal: How Sweet, Sweet Suffering Turned into a Temple Any% Speedrun Because Ferdinand Refused to Behave Just Once

Summary:

The day Veronica was informed of her husband's bastard son was undeniably one of the worst in her life. Due to a cruel twist of fate, the gods are forcing her to relive that day over and over again

Aka the Veronica loop style retro collab nobody asked for

Chapter 1: Fixing a Husband’s Betrayal

Chapter Text

"Veronica, I am going to bring my son Ferdinand to the castle soon. He shall be baptized this upcoming spring," Adelbert casually announced just as he was about to head back to his bedroom.

To say the news caught Veronica off-guard would be an understatement. Moments ago she was standing in front of her bed, wearing her nightgown and wishing her husband a sleep blessed by Schlaftraum. 

Before Veronica knew it, her knees gave up on her, and she fell to the ground.

"Veronica!?" shouted Adelbert as he turned around to catch his wife. He was too late but still helped Veronica regain her footing.

Her husband's hand was so warm, unlike the cold news he had just shared with her. But still this was her husband, and she had just done something incredibly rude. Veronica needed to apologize as soon as possible.

"I am sorry for the unsightly display, Adelbert," Veronica forced out the words, her voice shaking in the process. Adelbert seemed to have noticed just how unwell Veronica was as he kept holding her hand, pushing some mana into it to calm her down.

"It is fine. Tell me, why are you so upset?"

It was hard for Veronica to understand how Adelbert could not understand what was wrong. He knew her family history and the amount of suffering her mother and brothers had gone through. But she loved Adelbert a lot so she believed in the possibility that he was simply oblivious to her current problem.

"Do you–do you not love me anymore?" It was incredibly hard for Veronica to ask that question. Just asking it caused her facade to break as tears started to form in her eyes.

Adelbert, on the other hand, looked entirely caught off guard by Veronica's reaction.

So he really was just unaware and not acting out of maliciousness. 

"Why would you think that, my dear? Of course I only love you and nobody else. As proof of that, I have only taken you as a wife."

Yes, Veronica knew that. However, if he truly loved her, why would he have sired a child with another person? And another son at that; he already had Sylvester.

Veronica's thoughts were racing at an undefinable speed, but she knew that Adelbert was waiting for an answer, so she needed to say something soon.

"Then why did you have a child with someone else?"

The moment the words left Veronica's mouth, she had already regretted them. How could she sound so accusing towards her one and only love?

Adelbert's face twisted into one of clear regret. "I am sorry, dear. I did not wish to hurt you. I know it is hard to believe, but I was ordered by the Goddess of Time herself to baptize him as my child."

That was indeed very hard for Veronica to believe. The gods speaking directly to her husband? Veronica found it hard to believe that the gods were even able to manifest into the physical world.

Adelbert must have sensed Veronica's hesitation as he spoke up again. "I would never lie to you, my Goddess. Ferdinand may be my son, but Sylvester will always remain my heir."

Without thinking, Veronica muttered, “Really?”

"Yes, and you won't even need to concern yourself with the child. I am going to baptize him under Irhmhilde–"

Hearing that was even worse for Veronica. Baptizing the child under Irmhilde would mean the Leisegangs would gather behind her and the son–presumed by others to be of Leisegang heritage. 

"No." Before Veronica could even process what was happening, the denial had already left her mouth.

Adelbert was visibly confused by Veronica's sudden protest, clearly not having expected it. Seeing her husband's reaction, Veronica decided to elaborate. "I will act as the child's mother at the baptism."

"You would not mind?"

Of course Veronica did not want to raise the proof of her husband's infidelity, but if she did not interfere soon, the child could take her son's deserved seat of the next Aub Ehrenfest away.

"No. I will raise him as Sylvester's right hand man so that he can support him as the next Aub Ehrenfest, like your brother is doing for you."

Veronica's suggestion brought a small smile to Adelbert's lips. "A wonderful idea, my dear. Let us discuss the details tomorrow. For now, you should join Schlaftraum in the land of dreams."

"Yes, my dear. May Schlaftraum bless you as well."

 

Sooner than Veronica would have liked, the day came when Adelbert's son from his affair arrived at the castle. And because Adelbert had informed her of the child so late, a proper room could barely be prepared in time. 

While Adelbert was gone to bring Ferdinand home, Veronica was waiting in front of the teleportation hall together with her son Sylvester. Oh how glad Veronica was to have her beloved Sylvester, the one that would be the next Aub Ehrenfest and carry on Veronica's genes.

As if right on cue, Sylvester started to speak.

"Mother, when do you think my little brother is going to get here?"

Her son was being so cute right now. It truly warmed Veronica's heart.

"He will be here soon. Remember to get along with him as he is going to be your future pillar of support."

It was important that both Ferdinand and Sylvester understood the role Ferdinand was going to play before anyone began getting any other ideas.

"Of course, Mother. How could I not get along with a little brother? I have always wanted one since my other siblings are all girls," Sylvester remarked with a sad smile.

Her adorable little boy's words made Veronica regret not simply having another child with Adelbert, but she knew this was the best for Sylvester. 

Sylvester did not need unnecessary competition for the seat of the next archduke. Veronica knew just how much it hurt her little Sylvester when Georgine tried to unnecessarily challenge him for his position.

In a way, Ferdinand was the perfect solution for the problem. He would never even attempt to take Sylvester's position away as Veronica was going to raise him properly, and he was not her biological son–and who knew if he was really Adelbert's to begin with.

"Mother, they are here!" Sylvester's excited shout drew Veronica out of her thoughts.

Turning her attention away from Sylvester, Veronica could see her husband enter with a small boy. Although he looked so feminine that one could question whether he even was a boy.

"Ferdinand, go on. Introduce yourself," Adelbert said as he pushed the boy forward.

He looked extremely nervous and shy, which made Veronica happy in a way. This boy was going to be the perfect assistant and playmate for her Sylvester.

"Uhm, nice to meet you. My name is Ferdinand, and I am going to be in your care from now on. I cannot send mana yet, but may I still do the greeting prayer?"

Before Veronica could even open her mouth, Sylvester had already shouted, "Of course."

With shaky hands, Ferdinand started to kneel in front of Sylvester and Veronica as he started to pray. "May I pray for a blessing in appreciation of this serendipitous meeting, ordained by the pure rivers flowing from Flutrane, the Goddess of Water?”

"You may, Ferdinand."

"O Flutrane, Goddess of Water, may you grant Lord Sylvester and Lady Veronica your blessing." Once Ferdinand had finished, he looked up at Sylvester and Veronica with hopeful eyes. 

Doing her best to fake a kind smile, Veronica responded, "Call me, Mother. After all, I am going to officially be your mother once you have been baptized."

Ferdinand clearly looked hesitant to take the offer, but before Veronica could attempt to convince him, Sylvester chimed in.

"As Mother says. And you have to call me Big Brother!"

Ferdinand still looked troubled, as he turned his head around to look at Adelbert - most likely searching for confirmation.

Adelbert gave Ferdinand a nod which motivated Ferdinand to accept the offer.

"Thank you, Mother and Big Brother-"

Sylvester kneeled down in front of Ferdinand, looking into his eyes.

"Finally you smiled. A smile suits you so much better!"

 

To Veronica's immense relief, the boy turned out to be truly docile and understanding of the position he was in. Because he was going to be Sylvester's right hand man, Veronica made sure that he studied properly. Yet unlike that Georgine, he never complained and instead did his work dutifully. 

Not long after Sylvester had gotten wind of the education Ferdinand was receiving, he wanted to join in as well. From there on, Veronica had Sylvester's and Ferdinand's tutor lessons joined together. Veronica could already see the positive effect of having the boy around as not only did he motivate Sylvester to study more, it also made him have so much more fun. 

Before, Sylvester was allowed to play whenever he did not want to study anymore, but now he properly waited until the allocated time was over. Sometimes he even wanted to study past the assigned time frame as Ferdinand was still studying. While Ferdinand seemed to truly love studying, he got more and more roped into playing with Sylvester.

Veronica received reports from Sylvester's retainers just how much fun Sylvester was having at playing knights and archduke and assistant with Ferdinand. 

While Ferdinand was still extremely shy and rarely spoke, when he did speak it was always something positive about Sylvester.

Eventually the two even got matching hairstyles as a proof of their brotherhood.

As long as Ferdinand understood that he was always beneath Sylvester, Veronica did not mind nurturing him. And so she started allowing him to train with the Knight's Order as the boy showed great promise at being the next Knight Commander. 

Sylvester's studying together with Ferdinand paid off as he got the status of honor student at the Royal Academy year after year. Veronica truly couldn't be prouder of her boy. 

 

For the first time in her life, Sylvester went against his mother. It pained Veronica truly. How could he reject the Ahrensbach bride she had carefully arranged for him and instead wish to marry a daughter born to a mere third wife? To top it off, she was from Frenbeltag of all places - a duchy there was no political benefit to gain from since Constanze had married into their archducal family already. 

Sylvester and Veronica had many fights about the topic of Florencia, with Sylvester refusing to relent. Veronica ended up giving in eventually. She did not wish to destroy her relationship with her son over something like this. His happiness was what mattered most to Veronica, after all.

While Sylvester ended up graduating as an honor student with Florencia by his side, Ferdinand was showing his immense talent at the Royal Academy. Not only did he take both the archduke candidate and the knight courses at once, he also came first-in-class in each.

It really was the right decision to nurture him to be Sylvester's right hand man. With these two at the top of Ehrenfest, the duchy could only blossom in the future.

And to Veronica's relief, Ferdinand was not picky at all about his bride, instead letting her pick for him. Finally, she could choose a proper Ahrensbach bride that was suitable for the archducal house of Ehrenfest and not some uneducated girl from Frenbeltag.

It brought Veronica more joy to pick Ferdinand's bride than she would have ever expected. And luckily for her, the efforts paid off as she and Ferdinand ended up getting along great, with him escorting her at his graduation.

Finally, Ferdinand was finished with the Royal Academy and could be with Sylvester all day again. Every winter, the boy missed his little brother so dearly. Their friendship always brought a smile to Veronica's face.

During the same time, Veronica got the best and worst news of her life. Well, the best news was the birth of Sylvester but that didn't count. Her boy was in a dimension of his own.

Back to the present, Sylvester blessed her with a grandchild–and a boy at that.

The future of Ehrenfest truly looked bright. They might have been in the middle of a civil war, but what concern was that to the neutral Ehrenfest?

Now Ferdinand just needed to complete the Starbind Ceremony with his fiancee at the coming Archduke Conference, and he could start working on producing a right hand man for Wilfried. 

Thinking about Wilfried and Ferdinand's future child bonding made Veronica forget about the dark things that were happening in her life right now, even if it was only for a moment.

Her husband, Adelbert, had always been sickly, which was why Veronica worked as his personal doctor, but lately his health had deteriorated so rapidly that not even Veronica's medicine was able to help anymore.

The rational part of Veronica's brain knew that he was going to die soon, but her emotions refused to accept it. How could she live without her husband, the love of her life?

 

Alas the day came when Adelbert climbed the towering stairway, and it broke Veronica's heart. If it weren't for Sylvester's and Wilfried's smiles, she would have been too depressed for her heart to handle. The only good thing was that Sylvester was ready to take over as Aub Ehrenfes,t and Ferdinand prepared to renounce his status as archduke candidate to become Sylvester's head guard knight and Knight Commander. 

Once Sylvester was officially recognized as the next archduke of Ehrenfest, Veronica was going to make him the head of the Veronica faction that both Sylvester and Ferdinand were part of. She was aware of the rumors that Ferdinand was actually Irmhilde's child and that the Leisegang faction had been gathering behind him to make him the next archduke, but Ferdinand himself denounced them time after time, so Veronica was not worried. 

After having wished her family a sleep blessed by Schlaftraum, Veronica headed for her bed, excited to see Sylvester's inauguration as Aub Ehrenfest the next day.

Just as she drifted off to sleep, she suddenly felt something cold press against her neck. Immediately, Veronica called out to her attendant, but there was no response. Instead, someone else suddenly spoke, sounding way too close to her.

"There is nobody here to come to your aid."

She knew that person. He was a member of the Leisegangs!

"Get away this instant!" Veronica shouted. However, the man simply laughed in response. As he laughed, Veronica finally figured out what the cold object was that she had been feeling–a blade.

Before she could say something or scream for help, the man slit her throat open.

"...Sylvester–" 

Veronica's mind went blank as her lifeless body slumped over.

Chapter 2: Temple Speedrun Any%

Chapter Text

Veronica found herself standing in a white void, uncertain of how she’d gotten there. The last thing she remembered was that loathsome Leisgang brat cutting her throat.

Is this the top of the towering staircase? she wondered as she took a few steps forward. A door suddenly appeared to her right, and not seeing any other options, she opened it.

A holy presence crashed over her like a wave, driving her to her knees. Before her was a beautiful red-haired goddess who sat at a loom, a wad of threads in one hand and her head in the other. She had to be Ventuchte, the goddess of weaving.

“No, there’s no saving it,” the goddess lamented. “I’ll have to unravel and start over.” With a sigh, she spun in her seat and leveled her heavy gaze on Veronica. “And you are the thread that will bind the others to make a beautiful pattern.” She looked back to her loom and pointed at the end of the fabric where all of the threads came to an abrupt end. “Do you see this? This is the end of Yurgenschmidt.”

Veronica didn’t understand, but she nodded along.

“The garden collapsed shortly after you came to us, releasing the seal that bound Ewigeliebe. Horrible man that he is, he killed all of my sister’s children. To fix this, I will have to weave the fabric of time again, but you must do your part to save it as well.”

“My part?”

“Yes,” said a deep voice. Veronica turned to see a man with bright blue hair and striking golden eyes that pierced right through her. He could be none other than Seheweit. He walked across the empty space to the loom and pointed to two threads, one iridescent and one such a faint yellow that it appeared clear. “I have looked into fate, and the only way to prevent disaster is for these two threads to cross. One belongs to Quinta, the man you raised as a son, and the other belongs to a young girl named Myne.”

“I have no son named Quinta,” Veronica replied, wondering if the gods had somehow gotten the wrong person.

Seheweit and Ventuchte exchanged a look before he stared into the distance, his eyes glowing like the moon. “Ah, I see,” he said. “You know him as Ferdinand.”

So Ferdinand’s name was Quinta? she wondered, but then she shook herself. This was not the time to think such idle thoughts.

“So Ferdinand needs to meet a girl named…Myne?” she reiterated. That wasn’t a noble name, and she couldn’t imagine why the boy she raised would need to meet with a commoner in order to save Yurgenschmidt. “I suppose I can search for her,” she ventured. There was no telling how many Mynes there were, though, and as an archnoble, she had little contact with commoners, so she didn’t have much confidence in her success.

“That’s the problem,” Ventuchte sighed. “Myne’s thread is so very fragile and will break easily.”

“Yes, she will not last long after her baptism,” Seheweit agreed.

Veronica didn’t see how she could make the two of them meet, then. How would an archduke candidate ever come in contact with a freshly-baptized commoner child?

When she said as much to the gods, Ventuchte shook her head. “No, there is a place where such threads cross, if only briefly. He can meet her in the temple when she’s baptized, no?”

“The temple?!” Veronica gasped. They wanted her to send the very pillar who would support Sylvester’s reign to the temple? Would she be forced to discard Ferdinand as her mother had Bezewanst? That was too cruel a fate for both of her sons. Sylvester would lose a dear friend, and Ferdinand would lose… everything. He wouldn’t even be recognized as a noble. He was far too talented to suffer that fate.

And yet, the gods insisted he must.

“Yes,” Ventuchte said. “Ensure he is at the temple when Myne is baptized. The crossing of their threads is the beginning of the pattern that will save Yurgenschmidt.”

Veronica opened her mouth to ask when the commoner girl would be baptized, but her stomach lurched as she began to fall, and the gods turned away.



"Veronica, I am going to bring my son Ferdinand to the castle soon. He shall be baptized this upcoming spring-"

What had just happened? Veronica clearly remembered talking to the gods - something she had not believed possible in the past. They had instructed, no, ordered her to force Ferdinand into the temple so he could save some commoner.  

And now she was suddenly talking with her husband again.

Didn’t we both die recently? Is this somewhere up the towering stairway? Veronica thought to herself.

However, for it being up the Towering Stairway, it was awfully realistic. Furthermore, the conversation was giving her intense deja vu. 

Like Ventuchte suddenly played a prank on her, Veronica remembered. She had lived this moment before - eight years ago to be exact. This was the moment when Adelbert had revealed Ferdinand's existence to her and the order he had received from Dregarnuhr.

Could it be possible? Had she gone back in time to fulfil the divine orders she had been given?

The Veronica from yesterday would have laughed at that thought, but now that she had met the gods and seemingly come back to life it seemed like everything was possible - even going back in time.

"My dear?" Adelbert asked with concern in his voice; Veronica must have been lost in thought for too long.

"My apologies, Adelbert. I was thinking about the future."

Was Veronica going to reject Ferdinand right away? Would Adelbert even allow that considering he was ordered by the Goddess of Time herself to take Ferdinand in?

That's right, Veronica could not abandon Ferdinand here yet. It would be too cruel for Sylvester to never meet his playmate and right hand man.

However Veronica was aware that with every day she spent living with Ferdinand again, it would be harder and harder to send him to the temple. Just how cruel could the gods be? To break apart their family’s happiness for a mere commoner?

Part of her wished she was able to go the painful route of getting rid of him right away so it was over with but Adelbert would not let that fly. Instead she had to find another way to go about this.

What would be the earliest she could send Ferdinand to the temple without Adelbert getting so disappointed that he would wish for another wife?

Having him fail his debut should be the best option.

With her plan finished, Veronica faced her husband head on.

"I am going to stand in as his Mother at the baptism and prepare a room in the castle for him."

Adelbert looked at Veronica with surprise, probably having expected a different reaction - perhaps the reaction she had displayed during her first time hearing the news. But this was no longer the past, naive Veronica. She needed to protect her son and precious grandson before they were assassinated again and Yurgenschmidt turned to white sand.

"Thank you."

Before Veronica could even give Adelbert a chance to further talk about the topic, she used the current time to her advantage.

"You should seek Schlaftraum’s realm now, it is late and your body is still weak from your recent fever."

"You are right. May you be blessed by Schlaftraum tonight, my dear," Adelbert said as he gave Veronica a quick peck on the cheek and left the chambers.



From there on it was easy work for Veronica. She did not inform Sylvester of Ferdinand's arrival which meant her son would not meet him. 

Until the boy's baptism, Veronica kept Ferdinand hidden in his room - his retainers were loyal to her after all. Interestingly enough, Adelbert did not care what Veronica did with Ferdinand. It truly seemed like Ferdinand was a child the Goddess of Time had forced on him. 

How sad to see Sylvester's right hand man treated like this. Although not like Veronica was any better, after all she was neglecting the poor boy and setting him up for failure in the temple.

Of course Veronica wasn't able to keep Ferdinand's existence hidden from Sylvester forever as on the day of his baptism, Sylvester was present and absolutely thrilled to learn about his little brother. 

Ferdinand's debut was only two seasons away so hopefully it would not hurt Sylvester too much to lose him - since they would only have such a limited time together.

After Ferdinand's baptism, it was impossible to keep him away from Sylvester and locked in his room. Instead, Veronica decided to use one of Sylvester's weaknesses to ensure that Ferdinand would not be able to finish his debut. Sylvester hated nothing more than being forced to practice his Harspiel so Veronica simply made Ferdinand's retainers take learning the Harspiel out of his study plan.

While just like the last timeline, Ferdinand and Sylvester started studying together, there was no Harspiel included in their lessons. Sylvester did not complain as he greatly disliked learning it and Ferdinand simply was not aware of its existence.

The two boys formed a bond that grew closer each day but soon the day of Ferdinand's winter debut came.

It was ironic, the winter debut was something Veronica usually looked forward to as it allowed her to see her brother yet this one had her filled with nothing but regret. How could she do something like that to her son and Ferdinand?

Once the winter baptisms were finished, the lowest ranking child had their debut performance. It was horrible to listen to as it was merely a poor laynoble playing - but compared to what Ferdinand was about to do, it was a melody blessed by Kunstzeal.

After three kids had played, Ferdinand looked like he started to understand that he was expected to play as well.

 

"Ferdinand," Bezewanst announced, causing the boy to visibly tense up. Who could blame him? It was his turn to play in front of a crowd on an instrument he had never even held before.

After Ferdinand got seated in the middle of the stage, one of his attendants handed him the harspiel. His own harspiel that would be only used this one time and never again.

"Now then, pray to the gods and offer them a song."

Ferdinand did his best, he had tried to imitate what he had seen the other kids do but even with his immense talent it was simply not enough. To say it sounded horrible would be an understatement. Before he could get to "playing" the second verse, Adelbert suddenly stepped on the stage.

"Enough!" Adelbert sternly said as he took Ferdinand's Harspiel away. Veronica could see tears appear in the boy's eyes - it truly hurt to watch.

Just how cruel could the gods be?

In the meantime, Adelbert had announced a break as he called Veronica for an emergency meeting.

"I am truly sorry my dear, I did not know Ferdinand's harspiel skills were this lacking."

Adelbert nodded with a displeased expression.

"After a display like this, I have no choice but to send him to the temple."

"Indeed, it would be for the best."

It hurt.

But what hurt even more was the look of betrayal and sheer despair Ferdinand gave Veronica and Sylvester as he was taken away to the temple.

How could she do what the adults had done to her own brother? Something Veronica had vowed to never have happen again to her family?



The guilt of her betrayal threatened to smother Veronica. She did all she could to lessen its hold on her–entrusting Ferdinand to her younger brother to raise and protect, ensuring the boy was brought along whenever Bezewanst came to have tea with her, seeing to it that he was provided for to the same standard as her brother, and covering for his misdeeds.

It had crushed her the first time Bezewanst came to her with evidence of Ferdinand’s crimes, asking her to take care of it as she always did. She only had herself to blame for her pain. What else could she expect having him raised by her brother? Of course, he would grow to emulate him.

She hated what he’d become, what she’d turned him into. It was only in his absence, too, that she realized just how pivotal he was to Sylvester’s successful rule. No one in the duchy was as capable, and it was all she could do to keep Ehrenfest from falling apart. There simply weren’t enough competent archnobles in her faction to fill the void Ferdinand had left behind.

One night, nearly twenty years after she’d followed the gods’ orders and had Ferdinand sent to the temple, she peered up at the golden moon and thought, Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad for everything to turn back to white sand.

Then, the castle crumbled, and the sands of destruction swallowed her.

Chapter 3: Ferdinand, Would You Please Just Behave for Once?

Chapter Text

Veronica awoke in her room the night Adelbert informed her of Ferdinand’s arrival with a new directive from the gods–the boy had to obtain his divine will before he was sent to the temple. The problem was that there was no justification to send a successful archduke candidate who’d graduated from the Academy to the temple. Only children with low mana were sent there, save that one exception where a noble chose to hide his daughter in the temple to save her from his wife. No adults were ever sent to the temple, and she didn’t have the authority to do it regardless.

There was only one way–he would have to choose to go himself, and no one would ever do that unless it was the only option. She would have to make him choose between death and life in the temple.

Of course, she couldn’t bring herself to hurt a child, so she raised him faithfully as she had before. Once he began to shed the softness of youth, she turned on him. She spat cruel words and committed crueler acts, each one adding its weight to her soul. The hurt in his eyes redoubled her pain, but she had to endure. He needed to believe that she hated him, that she would kill him if given the opportunity so that he would flee on his own the moment his last protection fell away.

Others in her faction saw the vitriol she poured over him, and they followed her example in hopes of receiving her favor. The braver of the Leisegangs, however, began to rally behind him as a “fellow sufferer” of her wrath, as though they didn’t deserve everything she gave them and more. As time passed and he continued to show his excellence, even more of that wretched family went to his side. 

Their faction was smaller than Veronica’s, but she knew firsthand the danger they posed. If she allowed things to continue as they were, she would be assassinated, and Ferdinand would never go to the temple. To avoid that outcome, she began poisoning him in an effort to permanently disable him and make him unfit to rule. She didn’t have to worry about hindering his ability to obtain his divine will since he’d already received it at that point, so she didn’t hold back.

Her efforts bore fruit, and he became unable to perform his duties as an archduke candidate. Unable to complete his coursework, he was sent to the temple before he could graduate. Sylvester had almost destroyed Ferdinand’s medal in the Sovereignty to remove his divine will, but Veronica managed to stop him, instead convincing him to use schtappe-sealing cuffs on his little brother with the excuse that he might recover in the future and be able to finish his coursework.

Of course, there was no chance of that, but she couldn’t allow Ferdinand to lose his schtappe when it was one of the conditions the gods had given her to stop the country from turning back to white sand.

Unwilling to rely solely on chance to save the weave, she had regular meetings with him under the guise of visiting her brother. There, she would question him on his activities, waiting to hear the name “Myne” anywhere in his reports, but it never came. Even when she ordered Bezewanst to have Ferdinand perform every commoner baptism, no one ever mentioned the girl. She could assume, then, that the baptism likely took place just before the point the fabric would unravel.

As they neared that dreaded time, Veronica increased the frequency of her visits, hoping she might discover Ferdinand had already made contact with the girl but had neglected to report it. He had no choice but to receive her visits, and she had no choice but to continue verbally harassing him each time. The eyes burning with hatred in his otherwise blank expression seared her heart, but better he hated her than the world perished.

It was during one of her visits where she was questioning him over a cup of tea when the temple began to crumble. Ferdinand’s eyes widened in fear, his entire body trembling. That he showed such emotion in front of her was proof of how terrified he truly was. The woman who had once raised him as Sylvester’s pillar reached out to him, both to offer him comfort and to not be alone here at the end.

He recoiled from her outstretched hand, and she gasped, tears burning her eyes as she fell into the white sand.

The next time, she refrained from disabling him, but the Leisegangs pushed for him to become Aub, and Sylvester handed him the seat and sealed her fate. When the assassin came for her the day after the end of the Archduke Conference, she could only see his silhouette against the pale golden glow of the moon, his slicked-back wavy hair not providing enough of a clue to determine who it was.

After that, she managed to contain the Leisegangs, but Ferdinand secured an engagement to a girl from Dunkelfelger, and Adelbert was in no position to refuse. A few years later as Sylvester was gushing about a letter he’d received about Ferdinand’s daughter’s baptism, everyone at the dinner table was engulfed in white sand.

Three more attempts. Three more failures.

As the sand swallowed her once again, she began to wonder if she would ever succeed.

Chapter 4: Ah, Sweet, Sweet Suffering

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

How many times had it been? Five? Six? Sixteen?

“I can’t do this anymore,” she whimpered as she dropped her face into her hands and wept. How many more times would the gods force her to torture that child?

“No more,” she swore. “This is the last time. If it doesn’t work this time, then I’ll kill myself every time the weave restarts. The gods will have to give up on me eventually.” This would be the last time a child suffered so cruelly at her hands.

Relief washed over her as her resolve strengthened. Regardless of what happened, there was an end in sight. She could survive one last reweaving before she forced Dregarnuhr to sever her thread once and for all.

For the last time, she let her attendant dress her in her nightclothes and entered her husband’s chambers to be told about little Ferdinand coming home.

Though Veronica had lived the ensuing years several times before, though she knew that no matter what this would be the final weave she would endure, the despair that had been her constant companion threatened to crush her. Perhaps it was knowing she wouldn’t have to torture Ferdinand ever again that made it so much worse. 

So many times, she contemplated giving up before the weave unraveled itself again. It often felt like there was no reason to inflict and endure the pain. She would fail again, as she always did, rendering the suffering pointless.

This isn’t the Goddess of Time’s guidance, she would tell herself every time. This is Chaocipher’s doing. I’ve let myself become the avatar of the Goddess of Chaos.

But she persevered. For years, she persevered. Misery darkened her days until she became a mere puppet, moving according to the twisted will of the gods, sacrificing her very sanity to save the world, knowing no one would ever thank her for it. She would be a curse for future generations to spit whenever things went wrong, just as her mother had become. Her only solace was that this time, Ferdinand had chosen to take three courses in order to stay at the Royal Academy as much as possible, reducing the time she had to torment him.

One day, a pinprick of light shone in her endless midnight. Sylvester announced he’d had a son. Veronica had almost forgotten about little Wilfried since she’d hardly ever seen him in the previous weaves. Florencia had kept him far too busy with training to be the next archduke to see his grandmother.
When the boy was weaned, Sylvester brought Veronica to see her grandson, and as she held his tiny body in her lifeless arms, she felt his warmth suffuse her. He looked so much like his father, save for the yellow hair he’d inherited from her. It reminded her of the relief she’d felt all those years ago when she’d held her son for the first time. Sylvester’s birth meant she no longer had to push Georgine so hard, that the Leisegangs wouldn’t be able to keep taking from her, that she and her family were safe.

As little Wilfried yawned and looked into her eyes, his face a picture of tranquility, her heart, hardened by the brutal years, cracked. The gods had decreed that she become a monster, but to this child, perhaps she could be something else.

When Florencia reached to take him back, Veronica’s embrace tightened. She didn’t want to let go of the one chance she had to prove she was still human. “I’ll raise him,” she declared, rising to her feet and taking several steps back. “Yes, I’ll raise him to be a fine archduke candidate.”

Florencia protested, of course. Any mother would, but Veronica couldn’t afford to back down. She spat out any number of reasons why she should be the one to raise Wilfried instead until, finally, Sylvester capitulated.

With a triumphant smile, Veronica fled the room, rushing back to her quarters and blocking out Florencia’s desperate wails. This was the last time. Florencia could grant her this. After all, the woman had raised him several times already. She wouldn’t break from letting him go once, but Veronica would if she did.

 

The crueler she was to Ferdinand, the more she doted on Wilfried. He was the balm for her aching soul. His pure love and warmth washed away the cold self-loathing that filled her after every harsh word she spat at her husband’s son. When she relived Adelbert’s death once again and increased her harassment to chase Ferdinand into the temple, she showered Wilfried with gifts and affection, refusing to let anyone who had the slightest criticism against him anywhere near her wing of the castle.

All she wanted was to bring one person in this life a little joy. If she had to be the harbinger of misery for so many, then didn’t she earn the right to be the cause of a single person’s happiness?

Little Wilfried was her Flutrane who washed away the harsh cold brought upon her by the gods and healed the wounds they left behind. She only hoped he would be the same for Ehrenfest if the weave lasted that long.

When it came time for his baptism, Veronica stood for Wilfried, cementing to all that her precious grandson would inherit his father’s seat and bring healing and change to the duchy. They still hadn’t passed the point where the weave always unraveled, but this sweet little boy gave her hope that this time, things would be different. She would succeed, and she wouldn’t have to relive another day where she poisoned a child she’d once raised to appease capricious gods.

She continued to bask in the happiness her grandson brought her until the day her little brother sent her a request. He had a noble acquaintance from Ahrensbach who wanted to enter the city to purchase a Devouring commoner, the same one who had nearly killed him after her baptism the previous summer. Since Sylvester had already departed for the Archduke Conference, Bezewanst’s options were to either wait the two weeks for the archduke to return or have Veronica exercise her authority as the dowager first wife and grant permission. There was no reason to make an archnoble of a greater duchy wait so long, and quite frankly, she wanted the dangerous commoner girl gone. She stamped the request with the aub’s seal without a second thought.

 

Not even two days later, everything came crashing down as Sylvester entered her chambers and announced she would be confined in the white tower for the crime of stealing his seal. No matter how Veronica wept and pleaded, he wouldn’t relent. Rather, he redoubled her torment by informing her that her little brother had been executed.

The tower was even worse than she had imagined. There was nothing to distract her from her misery. Every waking moment was agony as she thought of everything the gods had taken from her. There was a brief moment of reprieve when Georgine visited. Veronica was so certain that she’d come to free her. Her daughter was surely appreciative that she’d taken her unreasonable burdens from her and secured her a better life in a greater duchy. However, she spoke not a word to her poor mother, and no one came to release her.

Veronica was just about to lose herself again to despair when her shining light, her sweet Wilfried came to see her. Just a glimpse of his face had given her hope again, but then he said such horrible things, parroting lies that would forever tarnish his memory of his loving grandmother in his heart.

She couldn’t let it stand.

While it was true she had hurt Ferdinand in ways that would haunt her long after the gods finally allowed her thread to snap, she had done nothing to a daughter of Sylvester’s. She set the record straight. That girl was a commoner. Everything was a plot by Ferdinand to frame Veronica and her brother. It didn’t matter that she deserved his ire. She didn’t want her precious Wilfried to look at her with eyes brimming with the pain of betrayal.

He left her with assurances he understood the truth and promises of her release, and so she waited. She waited and waited and waited, but he never came back.

It wasn’t until years later when Florencia came to check on a new prisoner that Veronica saw anyone other than her attendant. With dark glee in her smile, she dashed the last of her hopes. Neither Wilfried nor Georgine would come for her. Ferdinand had taken over Ahrensbach after it turned traitor, turning her mother’s blood to a poison to be excised. After everything Veronica did to him, he would surely see her mother’s homeland destroyed.

She couldn’t handle the shock, and she lost herself for quite some time. When she finally rose from the sea of blurred memories, she asked her attendant for the date.

It was the day after the point where the weave always unraveled.

Veronica couldn’t help but laugh. It seemed the gods indeed couldn’t be satisfied until she had lost everything.

 

Notes:

That was fun.