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Chapter Text

Pain. Every part of her is rife with it: limbs cold as ice, head screaming, breath as sharp as the blade now buried in her chest. Tears start to fall as her body desperately tries to breathe on its own. 

Then, a voice on the wind: Xiao Lanhua! It takes all she has to turn, the muscles and nerves in her body protesting as she looks to find Dongfang Qingcang scrambling across the desert to get to her.

Selfishly, Xiao Lanhua is glad. She had resolved to die alone, yet here he is, gathering her into his arms as her body begins to fail. 

“Da Matou,” she murmurs, the words scraping against her throat.

His tears fall on her arms as she reaches up towards him. This is enough, she tells herself. The soldiers are free, the war has ended. He can live in peace and lead his people. All their goals are met, except one. 

There is one last thing she wants before she goes. With the last of her strength, Xiao Lanhua presses her fingers to his lips. Live on, she wants to say. Make this worth it. Make our love worth it all. But her consciousness is fading so all she can manage is, “Smile.”

The pain fades as she slides into sleep, her soul turning to dust.

Then Xiao Lanhua wakes up.

It is dark, but the moon shines through the window that bathes the room in cool light. Xiao Lanhua blinks a few times as her eyesight adjusts, her body sensitive and tingling. Where is she? Is this the afterlife?

Slowly she sits up to see she is wearing a thin nightgown. The air is warm, like summer, which makes little sense as the Moon Festival happens in autumn. It had been turning slowly colder as the days marched towards winter. Why is it so warm?

Something shifts next to her and Xiao Lanhua freezes. When she screws up her courage to look over, there is a figure sleeping in the bed, and at once she is up, scrambling away. Her ankle tangles in the bedsheets and she goes crashing to the floor, bumping into a table and knocking over the items on top which clatter on the floor.

“Xiao Lanhua?”

The sleepy voice stops her. It is so achingly familiar, and when the lights go on, she turns slowly to its owner. 

Dongfang Qingcang rubs one eye as he looks over in confusion, clearly half asleep. “Xiao Lanhua? What are you doing? Did you fall out of bed?”

“Bed? Bed?” she echoes. He is in her bed! But no, she is in his, recognizing the luxurious suite that the Moon Supreme uses as a bedchamber. He frowns at her and moves, pulling the blanket off as he stands, and when she sees he is bare chested and wearing only a loose set of pants, she hides her face.

“Where are your clothes?” she squeals.

“Xiao Lanhua,” he sighs. She peeks through her fingers to see his feet bare on the carpet as they approach her. Then he bends down and places a hand on her shoulder. “It was just a dream. Come back to bed.”

“What?”

“Are you hurt?”

A sudden pain tears through her torso, and she remembers the sword and the blood and the dirt on her tongue as she fell to the ground. Fear returns, sharp in her chest, and suddenly she sees the Lord of Haishi. What was he doing with her? He had taken her—then it was pain, and darkness—

But he had stolen her before and given her a vision, could that be what is happening? None of this is real, it is all in her mind, and she needs to find a way to escape and get back to where she belongs.

“Xiao Lanhua?”

Then she is moving again, pushing Dongfang Qingcang away as she looks for something to defend herself with. A lamp sails towards him, then a book, then several books, the Moon Supreme ducking as she lobs one item after another in his direction.

“Xiao Lanhua! Stop it!” He sounds as confused as she feels when he dodges a box that opens as it sails through the air, beads falling and scattering on the floor. “Would you stop throwing things?”

“Who are you?” she cries. “I know you’re not Dongfang Qingcang. I know you’re not. Where am I? What is…”

Her eyes fill with tears. She is supposed to be dead, her soul sacrificed to bring peace to the kingdoms. Did that not happen? No, she is sure of it. Xiao Lanhua places her hands against her rib cage. The place is sore, but whole.

“Xiao Lanhua.” His voice is tender as he crouches down next to her, but not touching her this time. “I think you had a bad dream.”

“A dream,” she echoes again. “The Chengyin Sword… I used it to…” Xiao Lanhua shakes her head as he gently takes her by the shoulders and pulls her to her feet. The tears start to fall, blurring her vision as she searches his face. “Where am I?” she sobs.

He cups her cheek before sweeping a bit of her hair back, tucking it behind her ear. “You’re home,” he replies. “This is our room in the Moon Palace. You’ve had a nightmare.”

“Our? Room?” Xiao Lanhua looks around. “No, this is your room—”

“Can you come and sit? Try to relax.”

He leads her towards the bed, and Xiao Lanhua startles. They were sleeping together, in the same room, the same bed? Heat fills her cheeks as she thinks of what others will say. He is the Moon Supreme and his reputation is most important. As for her own, it is already in tatters in Shuiyuntian, what will people say now if they find this out?

But it makes no sense. “No,” she says firmly. “I died. I died on the Xuanxu Plain. You were there.” She begins to shake. “How am I still alive?”

“Xiao Lanhua.” His voice is firm this time, and she looks up. His face is drawn into a frown, concern deeply etched on his brow. “You had a dream.”

“But this is the dream.” Yet his hands on her arms are warm, and soothing, and without thinking she reaches up to press a palm against his chest. Sure enough, she feels his heart beating, and she snatches her hand away as if burned.

“No. This is our bedroom. You had a nightmare and fell out of bed.” His fingers draw through her hair, massaging her scalp soothingly. 

“A nightmare.” Xiao Lanhua’s eyes close briefly. “It felt so real. I used the Chengyin Sword to sacrifice myself. You were there, and I died in your arms.” She whimpers, feeling her nerves refusing to relax despite his welcome touch. “It was so real,” she says again.

Dongfang Qingcang clears his throat. “That was… nevermind. Come back to bed.”

He pulls on her hand, but she hesitates. “Why aren’t you dressed? Why am I in here?” she asks.

With a huff he tugs again. “It’s the middle of the night.”

“But why… I have my own room.” She extracts her hand from his, taking a step back. “What is going on?”

“You don’t have your own room,” he argues. “We share a room.”

“Da Matou!” she exclaims. “How can you say that? We can’t share a room until we are married!”

Dongfang Qingcang barks out a laugh. “What do you mean? We are married.”

“Married?”

“We’ve been married for over two thousand years.”

Now she knows this is a dream, and as his eyes go wide she takes another step away. “No. No, this isn’t right. This isn't—I’m dead, I know I’m dead—”

“Stop!”

The world spins and Xiao Lanhua’s knees buckle, firm hands gripping her before she hits the floor.

Dongfang Qingcang paces the floor just outside the room, his robe sweeping against the carpet with each step. Just a few feet away, the palace physician is checking his wife’s vitals. She may just be a flower spirit, but she isn’t this fragile. How could she have passed out like that?

The doctor waves him in, and Dongfang Qingcang enters, approaching the bed slowly. Xiao Lanhua is in her own robes, sitting up on the bed and propped by pillows on either side. She sips a cup of tea, and he is relieved to note her hands have stopped shaking. “How are you feeling?”

She looks at him with a fear he doesn’t understand, and the physician straightens. “Her Majesty is—”

“Majesty?” Xiao Lanhua squeaks.

The doctor clears his throat. “My apologies. The queen—I mean—” He gestures to the Moon Supreme, who moves to meet him at the foot of the bed. “There is nothing wrong, physically,” he murmurs. “But she seems to have forgotten that she is the queen.”

Dongfang Qingcang looks over at Xiao Lanhua, who watches them with wide eyes. “I tried to explain to him we haven’t had the ceremony yet,” she says. “I know everyone is calling me the Moon Queen, but until we are married I don’t think it's necessary.”

“I gave her something to help the queen calm down,” the doctor whispers.

Something inside him sinks. Cautiously he approaches, sitting gently on the side of the bed. “Xiao Lanhua,” he murmurs, taking the teacup from her and setting it on the bedside table. Then he takes her hands in his. “Do you know who I am?”

“Don’t ask me such silly questions, Da Matou,” she scolds. “Of course I do. What I don’t know is why I’m in your room.”

“You’re my wife,” he answers slowly.

Something comes over her face, and he watches as the blood drains from her cheeks. “I… What?”

“We’re married, Xiao Lanhua,” Dongfang Qingcang continues. “We’ve been married for many years.”

She shakes her head. “No, we never—”

“Just listen.”

“We never had the chance.”

“No—”

“You said you’d never marry me…”

“Listen to—”

“Before we did, there was the war.”

Dongfang Qingcang sighs. “That was over two thousand years ago.”

“Two thousand years ago?” she cries. Her hands go to her mouth, her eyes filled with shock as she processes. “No, it was yesterday!” she finally insists. “You gave me back your…”

She looks down, pushing back the sleeve of his robe to reveal the bracelet of vines she had made for him all those years ago. With a gasp she pulls up her own sleeve to see the Bone Orchid resting on her wrist. “How?” she exclaims.

“You don’t remember,” he murmurs quietly.

Dongfang Qingcang hangs his head, trying not to panic. Something had to have happened to the queen, but what? They had a normal day yesterday, both busy with court affairs before sharing dinner and heading to bed. They had both been tired but there was still plenty of jokes and teasing as they went through their evening routine, and when they had climbed into bed, he held her closely and kissed her forehead as she fell asleep next to him.

The next thing he knew, she was crashing to the floor and throwing things at his head.

“You’re dismissed,” he says to the physician, who bows. “Tell the guards to find Shangque. I want him here quickly.”

“Yes, Sire,” the doctor says before hurrying from the room.

Xiao Lanhua is still staring at his bracelet. Her fingers graze along the dried vines, tracing the braided pattern. Tears begin to roll down her face. “You gave this back to me just yesterday.”

Dongfang Qingcang shakes his head. “That was years ago. So much has happened since then.” 

Her eyes close, and he studies her as she takes several deep breaths. Fear is beginning to crawl along his spine; this is more than a nightmare. Her memories seem to be gone, but how? There must be something at play here, an enemy in the palace. He clenches his jaw, imagining something or someone targeting Xiao Lanhua. Yet it seems so impossible… 

He tilts her head up by the chin. “Xiao Lanhua, how old are you?”

“I’m fifteen hundred years old,” she replies.

He presses his lips together at the wrong answer. “What happened last night? What do you remember?”

She takes a deep breath. “Xunfeng explained about the curse. I knew I needed to do something. He brought me to Xuanxu. I tried to use the sword but… the Lord of Haishi.” Xiao Lanhua gasps and grabs his arms. “He is behind this! He tried to stop me, but Lord Changheng came…”

With a wince she slumps, and Dongfang Qingcang slowly lowers her back to the pillows. “Relax,” he murmurs. “Just rest.”

Shangque is announced and enters a moment later. “My lord.” Shangque salutes and gives a bow. “How can I serve you?”

“I’ll be right back,” he murmurs to Xiao Lanhua. Her eyes are drooping, so quickly he stands and walks around the bed, gesturing for Shangque to follow. They head into the anteroom, and Dongfang Qingcang glances back momentarily to see Xiao Lanhua wiping away tears.

“Search the castle,” he says. “Someone or something is here.”

Shangque frowns. “But how? What has happened?”

“The queen has been attacked,” he says. “Her memories are gone. There must be a reason.”

“Her memories?” Shangque asks in shock. 

“Yes,” Dongfang Qingcang responds. His hand curls into a fist as he grits his teeth. “Someone or something has taken her memories. She thinks the war in Xuanxu just happened. The past two thousand years are gone.” His eyes flash as he looks at Shangque, thinking of what Xiao Lanhua had said about the Lord of Haishi. “An enemy must be behind this. Find them.”

The dragon’s eyes go wide, but he presses a hand on his chest. “At once, my lord! I will find the culprit!”

He turns on his heel and stalks out of the room, leaving Dongfang Qingcang to take a moment to catch his bearings. Being angry will not help, and he must be calm for the queen. He knows he needs to return to Xiao Lanhua, but he decides to give her a minute as well. As disturbed as he is by what’s happened, she must be even more troubled. He tries to imagine what it would be like to wake up in a strange place and not know you’re married to the person next to you, and fails.

Eventually he returns to the room, forcing a smile when Xiao Lanhua turns to him. “Dongfang Qingcang,” she murmurs.

Hearing his name makes him shiver. “Are you feeling better?”

“I’m so sleepy.”

She yawns as he resumes his place next to Xiao Lanhua. She takes his hand, her eyes heavy with sleep. “I’m sorry for startling you.”

He shakes his head. “I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about.”

“I thought I’d never see you again. I thought it was over between us.” She sighs sadly, and he feels a sickening twist in his stomach as he remembers the exchange from so long ago. He had tried to stop Xiao Lanhua from loving him so he could extract the Bone Orchid and save her life. But in doing so he had hurt her terribly, throwing her bracelet back at her and sending her away. The pain of that day washes over him, and he sweeps a thumb against her cheek to brush away a wayward tear.

“I’m so sorry,” he replies. “I was trying to protect you.”

“I was trying to protect you, too,” she sighs. “I thought I’d never get to tell you—” She hiccups then, and Dongfang Qingcang tries to shush her. But Xiao Lanhua continues, “I thought you wouldn’t know that I loved you.”

“I love you,” he says in turn.

“And here you are.”

“Here I am.”

“I don’t understand,” Xiao Lanhua whispers. “What’s happened to me?”

Dongfang Qingcang shakes his head. “Try to rest. We’ll figure this out.” She nods, and he brushes her hair back from her forehead as her eyes close. There must be something behind this, and he is determined to find the truth no matter what.

Chapter Text

Xiao Lanhua sits on the large sofa in the Moon Supreme’s private sitting room. Their private sitting room, she reminds herself, although the idea is foreign to her. But things are different than what she remembers: new upholstery on a chair, fresh curtains, a scattering of ferns dotting the room. It still looks like one of the many luxurious and intimidating rooms of the Moon Palace, but changed somehow. Like someone had come along and put a finishing touch on things.

She traces the pattern on the couch, gold thread sewn in a diamond pattern against dark blue fabric. This is certainly something he picked out, which makes her chuckle. 

“My queen.”

It takes her a moment to remember they are referring to her. Three physicians stand in the room, waiting to examine her. Each is a specialist in their own area: one in magical ailments, one in diseases of the mind, one in female anatomy. Dongfang Qingcang had explained it all when they had arrived. Xiao Lanhua could not remember any of her maids, so it was left to him to help her stay comfortable and calm.

“Yes. Sorry. What were you saying?” she asks.

“Just that we’re ready to begin,” one replies, and she can’t remember if he is the magic doctor or the head doctor. “Please allow us to examine you.”

“Of course.”

They put her through many tests: reading phrases, looking at pictures, naming important places and things. Then they take turns listening to her pulse, feeling her neck and head, checking her reflexes, and more. The three men eventually conclude their work and take a moment to discuss amongst one another. After several minutes of their whispering Dongfang Qingcang grows agitated.

“Well?” he demands.

The first gives another bow. “There are no magical ailments on the queen,” he says. “I’ve checked her thoroughly for any markings of curses or remains of a spell. But there is nothing, Your Grace.”

She glances down at the Bone Orchid. That makes sense, at least. Meanwhile, Dongfang Qingcang nods. “And you?”

“Her Majesty seems to be in sound mind,” the second replies. “She was able to identify people and places correctly, and it seems that her memory is fine until it stops. There are no missing pieces before that. She speaks with her usual grace and wisdom.”

Xiao Lanhua blushes at that, not feeling particularly graceful or wise at the moment.

The Moon Supreme does not seem to be happy with the news. She notes how his jaw works, his lips pinching into a familiar scowl. Her stomach flutters nervously as she waits for him to give a harsh order, but instead he nods curtly before turning to the last. “What’s your report?”

The final physician clears his throat. “The Moon Queen is in excellent health, Your Grace. I can find no physical ailments or maladies. The only thing that seems to be wrong is her memory.” He gives a little bow. “If I may offer a diagnosis, my lord?”

“Go on.”

Xiao Lanhua leans forward eagerly, anxious to know what his conclusion is. But her heart sinks when he says, “I believe it’s a case of hysteria.”

“Hysteria?” Dongfang Qingcang echoes, his voice without emotion.

He nods. “I believe this is a common affliction among females, particularly wives. A way to gain a husband’s attention, so to speak. Tell me, have the king and queen been quarreling lately?”

Xiao Lanhua looks at Dongfang Qingcang in surprise to find his expression has gone from concern to anger. “Shangque,” he calls.

Shangque appears a moment later. “Yes, my lord?” 

“How far up are we from the ground?”

Shangque looks around. “I believe we are roughly 200 meters up, Sire.”

“Good. Send them all out the window.”

The three doctors immediately throw themselves to the ground to beg for forgiveness, and Xiao Lanhua jumps up to rush to Dongfang Qingcang’s side. “You’re not really going to throw them out?” she exclaims.

“I’m considering it.” He scowls down at the simpering men. “Leave now or you will be put out.”

Scrambling to their feet, they profess their thanks as they practically run for the door. Xiao Lanhua watches them leave, sighing to herself.

“How dare he say such things about you,” Dongfang Qingcang mutters.

She looks up at him with wide eyes. “I’m not pretending,” she says quickly, afraid of a misunderstanding.

His expression softens as he rubs her arm. “I know. Don’t worry, we’ll get another doctor to see you.”

Xiao Lanhua shakes her head, and Dongfang Qingcang frowns. He dismisses Shangque so that it is just the two of them that remain. “What’s wrong?” he asks. “There are plenty of doctors in the three realms. I can summon them all if needed.”

“I don’t think that will help,” she replies. “Didn’t you hear? I’m in perfect health.”

“But your memories—”

“What if I didn’t lose them?” Xiao Lanhua asks. “What if I’m not your Xiao Lanhua?”

Dongfang Qingcang scoffs. “Don’t speak nonsense. Who else would you be?”

“I don’t know,” she admits. “I mean, I am Xiao Lanhua, but none of this feels right. Nothing feels familiar. It should at least feel like I belong here, don’t you think?”

Shaking his head, he takes her hand. “Why don’t you go back to bed and rest for a bit?”

“I’m tired of resting,” she admits. “I want to go back to the Xuanxu Realm.”

“What?” he says sharply, his brows drawing tightly together. “Why?”

“It’s where all this started. There may be answers there.”

“Absolutely not,” he declares. “You are not going there.”

Xiao Lanhua sucks in a deep breath. “What happened to us being partners? Equals? If we really are married, aren’t we supposed to discuss things, and compromise and agree?”

“There is no reason to return to that place,” he says. “It’s been deserted since the war. There’s nothing left.”

“But—”

“Please, Xiao Lanhua. Can you just stay put until we get this figured out?”

He leans down to kiss her forehead, but she frowns. Staying put has never been easy for Xiao Lanhua.

Xiao Lanhua makes her way down the hallway, silently keeping an eye out for any guards. Being cooped up in the palace and under near constant watch has taken its toll, and she is even more determined than ever to find her own answers. If Dongfang Qingcang won’t help, then she doesn’t need it. After all, she is the queen, right? The idea still feels strange but Xiao Lanhua decides to seize the opportunity and use it to her advantage.

The problem is, she’s not sure exactly where to start.

One of the last things she remembers, before using the sword, is the Lord of Haishi stealing her away from Xunfeng. Then he had done something to her, saying she couldn’t die yet. What was it? What was his plan? This seems like the right place to start, and in order to find her answers, she needs to learn all she can about the battle.

Although the castle has changed a bit from what she knows, the little passageways are the same, and she manages to avoid everyone as she makes her way through the palace. It’s easy enough to use Jieli’s secret ways to avoid the main corridors, and before long Xiao Lanhua lets herself out of a seldom-used gate that leads into the forest. Immediately she feels better, the air cleaner outside, the freedom to stretch her legs and be on her own welcome after days of being hovered over.

Cangyan Sea had grown familiar to her in the months she spent there, so it takes little effort to make her way to the Oblivion River. There are several little boats that await passengers on the shore, and Xiao Lanhua is pleased to see the place is deserted. She pushes one of the boats into the water, and once she climbs aboard uses her powers to set a course for Shuiyuntian.

It doesn’t take long to arrive, and Xiao Lanhua smiles to herself as she walks through the familiar trees of Shuiyuntian towards Arbiter Hall. When she spots it up ahead, she picks up her pace, happily skipping towards her home. If this truly is two thousand years in the future, would Siming be at her rightful place as Arbiter?

“Hello!” Xiao Lanhua calls as she hurries up the steps and through the front door. Inside is empty, so she picks up her skirts and moves quickly through the hallways, checking her room before visiting the garden. It looks the same, and Xiao Lanhua is nearly ready to believe this really is all a dream and she is about to wake up. 

She decides to check on the Fate Tree, hardly able to keep herself from grinning as she hurries outside. But when she arrives at the bottom of the ramp, she pulls up short, finding a stranger sitting at her little table.

He is lounging back on his elbows, boots crossed as he dips his head back and drinks from a bottle of alcohol. His long hair dangles on the ground as he makes a satisfied sigh, dropping the bottle next to a small collection of empties beside him. “The Arbiter’s wine is definitely the best,” he sighs.

“Excuse me!” She steps forward with a sharp word and he jumps. “Who are you? What are you doing in Arbiter Hall?”

The boy nearly knocks the little table over in his rush to stand, kicking several bottles to send them skittering along the wood floor. “Your Grace!” he exclaims when he manages to look up. “Hold on!”

He runs after the bottles, picking them up awkwardly and rushing back to the table. “It’s not what it looks like!”

“Who are you?” she demands.

The boy kneels on the ground, carefully setting up the empty bottles and righting the others that were knocked over. “Your Majesty, it’s been a while, don’t you recognize me?” He laughs and flexes a bit as he stands. “I suppose I have bulked up a bit since you last saw me.”

Their eyes connect, and she realizes she’s seen them before. Just that morning, in fact, when Shangque came to deliver the daily briefing to the Moon Supreme. To a less discerning eye, he is Shangque, the same frame and smile, the eyes crinkling as he laughs. Just a shorter, more wiry version of the dragon, and she frowns.

He presses his hand to his fist and gives a bow. “Welcome back to Arbiter Hall, Your Grace. I’ve been keeping things in order as you requested.”

“I requested? When?” 

With that he laughs, his formal stance dropping as his shoulders shake. “Auntie! What is this game? Should I make you guess?” He chuckles again, stepping a few paces in thought. “Let’s see. It was about… three weeks ago? I was using the sword I found in the armory and accidentally sliced through that old tapestry, the one hanging in the east wing. The Moon Supreme was so angry, but you stood up for me like usual.” He puts his hands on his hips. “Now do you remember?”

Xiao Lanhua’s mouth falls open. In this stance, he looks just like Jieli, ready to scold her for not having enough spirit stones. “I don't, actually,” she confesses. “Are you related to Lord Shangque? Or my friend Jieli?”

He frowns now, his brows screwing together. “I don’t understand at all, Auntie. It’s Shiqing. Why don’t you recognize me?” His head cocks to the side. “Am I still in trouble or something? I’ve been in way worse, and the Moon Supreme is sure to forget about my accident soon. Isn’t that why you’re here?”

“I…” The world spins a bit as she takes it in. 

“Woah! Hey there, I got you.” The boy is at her side in a flash, grabbing her elbow to steady her. “Your Grace,” he asks, voice full of concern, “is there something wrong?”

“Yes, actually,” she replies. “I woke up a few days ago with no memories of the past two thousand years.”

He blinks at her for a moment before letting out a low whistle. “Wow. That’s got my story beat by a mile.”

Xiao Lanhua sits on the little bench in the garden, finding the familiar scents of flowers soothing in its familiarity. The sun hangs lazily in the late afternoon, and she closes her eyes briefly as the clouds part, sunshine streaming across her face. It is quiet and warm, just what she needed.

But it won’t last long, she is sure. Shiqing had helped her look through the Arbiter’s archives, but there is nothing about Haishi or its lord among the scrolls describing the battle. Now hours later, her absence is sure to be noticed, and it is only a matter of time before the Moon Supreme comes looking for her. At the moment, however, Xiao Lanhua takes the time to organize her thoughts.

It is clear that something has happened. She goes through the events of the last twenty-four hours she remembers before waking up in bed with a brand new life. The confrontation with Dongfang Qingcang. Learning the truth from Xunfeng. Heading to the Xuanxu Realm and being taken by the lord of Haishi. Her fear, her anger, her regret. All of it culminating into the painful crawl across the sand to reach the sword and seal her fate.

Was it really two thousand years ago? Xiao Lanhua doesn’t feel any older. It is barely a breath for immortals, but considering all that had happened, surely there would be some sense of the passage of time. In fact, she still feels pangs of phantom pain from the sword, as if her body is still healing and not quite whole. If this was two thousand years later, would she still be feeling this?

Footsteps pull her from her thoughts, and she recognizes Dongfang Qingcang’s gait even before she turns around. His expression is a mixture of frustration and worry, and he stalks over to her with a hurried pace. “Xiao Lanhua, why are you here?” He kneels next to where she sits, his hands rubbing her arms. “Why would you leave without telling me?”

“I just wanted to see something familiar,” she explains. It’s not quite a lie.

To his credit, he nods instead of scolding her. “I understand,” he murmurs. “But please don’t do this again. Not until we figured out what has been done to you.”

“What if it’s nothing?” she asks. “What if I’m—”

“You are,” he insists. “You’re Xiao Lanhua, the Moon Queen. I’m sure of it.”

He sounds confident, but she doesn’t feel the same at all.

Standing, Dongfang Qingcang straightens as he pulls her to her feet. “I hear you saw Shiqing.”

Xiao Lanhua chuckles. “He is interesting. Very helpful, though.”

“Not hardly,” the king scoffs. “More trouble than he’s worth.” But she can sense some affection behind his words, and she wonders if Shiqing grew up in the palace. He had called her Auntie, after all, as Jieli’s son. Their relationship must be close, but the lack of connection she feels unnerves her.

“Shall we head back?” he asks.

Xiao Lanhua nods, and they walk hand in hand back through Arbiter Hall. She can’t help but lean against his arm, taking comfort in his familiar presence. 

Chapter Text

Pain. The world is swirling darkness, pain tormenting every nerve ending. When the lord of Haishi finally lets her go, she falls into the dirt, the hard ground making her teeth chatter together with the impact. Her limbs feel broken, her back and head and chest screaming in protest. Her head falls as a few tears slip down her cheeks.

Then, a voice: Xiao Lanhua!

The sword. She needs to get to the sword, before he is there, before she sees him and the sight of her beloved stops her. Xiao Lanhua begins to crawl, her body as weak as her spirit.

She has to do this. So much is depending on her now. But that voice…

Xiao Lanhua!

That voice makes her hesitate. She presses her forehead to her hands, cursing her own weakness. Why is he here? It would be so much easier to do this if he was at the battle, leagues away, leaving her to this final task.

She begins to crawl again, fighting against the wind to get to the sword. But the closer she gets, the more doubt gnaws at her. Why is she doing this? Why does she have to?

Xiao Lanhua!

It’s not fair. She spent so many years alone, waiting, and when she finally found someone to love, someone who loved her back—

“Xiao Lanhua?”

She blinks, shaking her head. Shangque swims into her vision, his look of concern making her frown. “Yes?”

“Are you alright, my queen?” he asks. “You seemed to be…”

His voice trails off as he looks down. She follows his gaze and realizes that she has spilled tea all over herself and the table. “Oh!” she exclaims, jumping up and reaching for the napkin. “I didn’t even notice!”

He gestures to the servants to come help, and they make a fuss as she tries to dry the fabric. “It’s fine,” she assures them. “I must have stopped paying attention.”

They begin to clean up the tea things and the spill on the table and floor, and Xiao Lanhua turns back to Shangque. “Did you need me?” she asks.

He pauses before replying, “No, Your Grace. My lord asked me to look after you while he attended to some business.”

“Oh. That’s right.” The kingdom couldn’t stop for the queen even if she was suffering from some strange ailment, and Dongfang Qingcang had to deal with a few things after they had breakfast that morning. “I’m sorry. I…” She glances down and chuckles. “I should get changed.”

“Let me show you to your room,” he replies.

Xiao Lanhua leaves the little balcony where she had been having her tea and follows Shangque back inside the palace. They head down a familiar hallway, and she admires the intricate carvings on the columns as she always does when they enter the residence wing. She goes to turn down a corridor when he goes straight, and Xiao Lanhua remembers her room isn’t that way anymore. She’s sharing one now with the Moon Supreme.

The idea is still strange, settling uncomfortably as she gathers her skirt and quickly follows Shangque. Even though the king’s chambers are familiar, she still feels a bit nervous entering them without him here. But they are her chambers now, her bedroom and anteroom and her washroom, as odd as that is.

“Do you need anything?” Shangque asks when they arrive.

Confused for a moment, she realizes he is asking if she wants a servant to help. “Oh! No! I’m fine,” she says. “Um, can you just wait outside?”

He salutes and makes a quick exit, leaving her alone in the bedroom. Xiao Lanhua looks around, the space familiar and yet somehow not. Little things have changed, like the color of the bed cover and the rug near the fireplace. There are two chairs at the small table by the window, not one, and two sets of pillows.

The night before, she had slept in the bed, and Dongfang Qingcang had stayed on the lounge chair nearby. She had fallen asleep quickly with another dose of the medicine given by the doctor, and woke up just after dawn feeling tired and heavy. Xiao Lanhua had spotted him then, curled in a position on the sofa that was sure to cause him some pain today. She could not help the smile to see him nearby, like a lifeline in this strange new environment, always the gentleman. At least she had not startled awake like last time.

For a minute she takes the time to re-familiarize herself with the room. Beyond one door she knows is the washroom, which she had used for the second time that morning. The first time was when she had bathed herself when they had swapped bodies, and Xiao Lanhua chuckles at the memory. If you had told her then she’d be married to Dongfang Qingcang now she would have called it nonsense.

Of course, the seeds of love had been well planted at that time, and then just as now he had done what he could to make her comfortable, in his own way.

There is another door that piques her curiosity. She looks around before testing the handle, finding it unlocked. When she steps inside the next room she gasps. It is filled with the most exquisite things she has ever seen: rows of dresses, fine robes, a rack of at least a dozen shoes, cloaks weaved with fine gold embroidery. 

Xiao Lanhua wanders inside, reaching out to touch the delicate and colorful fabrics. She drags her fingers along the rows, marveling at each one more beautiful than the last. In the center of the room is a long table, and when she approaches she gasps to see the top is made of glass. Inside, jewelry glimmers in the lamplight: necklaces, bracelets, rings of varying size and patterns. Her eyes go wide at the sight, marveling at how much all of this treasure could be. Does it really belong to them—to her?

She feels so very small at that moment, so very out of place.

Dongfang Qingcang can barely think. His concern for Xiao Lanhua sets his nerves on edge, and the few appointments he absolutely could not cancel make him short and irritable. All he wants is to return to the queen’s side and make sure she is alright.

Her trip to Arbiter Hall had frightened him more than he would like to admit. After finding her gone, he had led a search through the palace, until some servants reported seeing the queen slipping out a forgotten door of the castle. In a flash he had gone to the forest, a sinking feeling taking over the longer she went undiscovered. When they realized a boat was missing, he knew exactly where she had gone. It was with great relief that he had arrived at Arbiter Hall to find her safe and sound.

Shiqing had looked startled to see him there, guiltily sending him to the garden to find the queen. He would deal with that boy later.

Again and again he had searched his memory for some sign of what had happened to the queen. The only explanation he can think of is some kind of attack, but how? He had been right there next to her. No one had come into their room, he was sure of it. There had been nothing unusual about Xiao Lanhua in the hours and days leading up to her memory loss.

The first thing he had done that day had been to go into a closed door meeting with Shangque and Xunfeng. He had given them the full story, and Shangque reported that there had been no sign of the palace being breached. Dongfang Qingcang had nodded, relieved that there was no intruder but perplexed at what that could mean. Surely the goddess of Xishan could not fall ill? Both had pledged to continue to investigate, and he had left them to continue searching for anyone or anything that could have entered the palace as he saw to the few things that could not wait for his attention.

When his meetings are finally concluded, he hurries back to their private quarters. Xiao Lanhua is not in their bedroom or sitting room, but it takes only a brief search to find her in their closet.

She is sitting on the carpet, almost hidden by the rows of dresses. Several litter the floor around her, the silks twisting together as she holds one up to examine it. He recognizes the dark blue as one of her formal dresses, something to wear when meeting with foreign visitors or attending important events. It is in the style of the Moon kingdom, as is most of her wardrobe.

“Xiao Lanhua?”

Her name must startle her because she jumps. Dongfang Qingcang chuckles as she presses a hand on her chest. “You scared me!”

“Sorry. What are you doing?”

Xiao Lanhua sighs, setting the dress in a pile on her lap. “Just trying to get acquainted with my things. I thought it might trigger a memory.”

“And?”

“It’s not working.”

Her pout is as endearing as ever, and Dongfang Qingcang moves to sit next to her on the floor, pulling her hands to his. “Don’t worry,” he assures her. “Something will spark.”

“Are all of these really mine?” she asks, gesturing around.

The king nods. “As queen and goddess you deserve only the very finest things.”

“It all seems so extravagant.”

He isn’t sure what to say to that. To Dongfang Qingcang, she deserves this and more. She is the queen, after all. Her simple fairy attire would not be appropriate anymore.

“What about this one?” she asks. Xiao Lanhua reaches up and slides her fingers along red silk. “I’ve never seen this one before either.”

Dongfang Qingcang smiles. “You wore that to our wedding.”

“I did?” She jerks her hand away, but after a moment, reaches out again. Her touch slides along the fabric, tracing the delicate brocade sewn in gold thread. It had been specially designed for their wedding, wishes of prosperity and happiness woven into the stitches by the finest dressmakers in Cangyan Sea. There was no expense spared when it had come to their wedding.

He watches affectionately as she brushes the hem. “You did,” he replies. “You looked absolutely beautiful. Your hair was up with a gold crown, jewels hanging from your hair pin.” He nods towards a jewelry case on the other side of the room. “Over there you’ll find the necklace you wore, that I had commissioned for you. It’s now a priceless heirloom of the Moon clan.”

Her expression is of awe, a faint blush on her cheeks. “What else?”

Dongfang Qingcang raises one knee, resting his elbow on it as he thinks. “It was here, in the palace. We had hundreds of guests, all of the nobles of the Moon kingdom, along with visitors from Shuiyuntian. The celebrations lasted seven days.”

“Seven!”

“It was a wonderful time,” he grins. Remembering the happiness of the event, his voice goes a bit wistful as he says, “All of our friends were here, and we exchanged vows in the main courtyard in front of our guests. There were thousands of people waiting outside the palace gates for a glimpse of you. We went out to the balcony and the cheers went on for what seemed like hours.”

She ducks her head, smiling shyly as he continues, “Xunfeng and Changheng got terribly drunk. It was rather funny to see them singing into their cups.” Xiao Lanhua laughs, and his chest lightens at the sound. “We had gifts from all over. In fact, it took weeks for you to go through it all. And we danced all night, music playing until the sun was up.”

“I wish I had a memory of it,” Xiao Lanhua sighs.

He slides close enough to reach out and cup her cheek. Pleased when she leans into his touch, he says, “But with all of the extravagance of the wedding, there was nothing as beautiful as you. I had never seen you look so wonderful. The wedding in Lucheng paled in comparison to our wedding.”

Xiao Lanhua gives him a soft smile. “It sounds like we were happy.”

“We still are, you know.”

She sits up a little straighter, blinking at him, and Dongfang Qingcang feels emotion swell in his chest. Without thinking he reaches for her, drawing her against him in an embrace. Xiao Lanhua gives a little noise but he tips her across his lap, leaning down to press his lips on hers.

His eyes close and he thinks of how her kiss is the same, yet timid somehow. She tilts her chin up to return the pressure, but he can tell she is holding back. The thought that he should stop flashes and is quickly pushed away. He needs the comfort of her in his arms just as much as she may need comfort from him.

He wraps his arms around her and pulls her closer. Xiao Lanhua’s hands go to his face, her palms pressing to his cheeks. Dongfang Qingcang interprets it as permission, so he wraps his hand through her hair to deepen the kiss, tilting her head to the side so he can kiss her thoroughly.

She makes another noise and he pauses. Slowly he pulls back, realizing what he has done; she thinks they aren’t married, and here he is, kissing her passionately! Xiao Lanhua glances up at him through her lashes, her face flushed. Thankfully she doesn’t seem upset, just flustered. 

Her mouth opens but he quickly interrupts before she can say anything. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s okay,” she sighs.

“I’m so sorry,” he says again. He pulls her against his chest, pressing her head to his shoulder. “Please don’t worry. Please. We’ll get through this.”

Xiao Lanhua nods against him, her hands curled against his robe. Dongfang Qingcang closes his eyes, scolding himself for his foolishness with a muttered curse. The last thing Xiao Lanhua needs right now is him pawing at her on the floor of their closet. This wouldn’t have been their first kiss, thankfully, but it’s not as if they still shared years of marriage.

They stay together for several minutes. Dongfang Qingcang feels his heart start to slow, the fevered pounding moments ago soothing into something more normal. Xiao Lanhua lets go a low breath, and he wonders for a moment if she has fallen asleep. He takes the opportunity to brush his fingers through her hair, pulling it over her shoulder and laying it against her back.

“Hey! Is anyone in here?”

The voice startles them both, and Xiao Lanhua jumps out of his arms so sharply he loses his balance. He stops himself from falling back with a hand planted on the carpet, but before he can say anything a young man appears. 

Xiao Lanhua gives a little shriek as she stands, the fabric on the floor making her trip. She falls into the row of hanging clothes, and Dongfang Qingcang scrambles over to her, grabbing her elbows to pull her upright. “Xiao Lanhua!” he cries. “Are you okay?”

“I—I—” She looks with wide eyes over his shoulder. “There’s two of you. How are there two of you?”

Dongfang Qingcang hangs his head. How to explain this? He should have done this already, and he winces a bit even as he tries to smile reassuringly. “It’s okay, Xiao Lanhua,” he says. “This is our son, Yucheng.”

Chapter Text

Dinner proves to be an awkward affair. Xiao Lanhua sits between Dongfang Qingcang and Yucheng in their private dining room. She remembers the imposing table that used to sit here, where the king would take his meals that were laid out in an extravagant spread. She is pleased to see that the long table has been replaced with a more sensible one, so that they can share their meal without calling across the room to one another.

Not that anyone is speaking at the moment. Once Yucheng had arrived and taken his seat and the food had been brought in by the servants, Dongfang Qingcang had dismissed them with a wave of his hand. But the meal went on in silence. Other than encouraging them both to take more food, nothing else is said among them.

Xiao Lanhua, meanwhile, is staring. She knows it is rude, but she can’t seem to help herself. She learned the boy was away for the past few days on a hunt, which is why she had yet to meet him. Yet she is fascinated. Yucheng is the absolute spitting image of Dongfang Qingcang: same cheekbones and brow, same long dark hair, same large eyes. But beyond the physical similarities, there is simply an aura about the young man that reminds her so much of his father. Royalty, she thinks. The same confidence he had always exhibited as Moon Supreme. The same self-assuredness that made it impossible for him to want to be anything but emperor in Lucheng.

The memory makes her giggle, and both look at her in surprise. “What’s so funny?” Dongfang Qingcang asks.

“Nothing,” she smiles. “Just remembering something.” 

Dongfang Qingcang gives her a strange look, but Xiao Lanhua shakes her head. She observes Yucheng more, noting how he sits up straight at the table and keeps his elbows up and uses his chopsticks perfectly. Who taught him such lovely table manners? Could it have been her, sitting and practicing with a toddler to hold them between his fingers correctly?

Of course not, you’re not his mother, she thinks.

“Speaking of remembering things,” Yucheng says suddenly, “I heard you lost all your memories.”

There is some kind of scuffle under the table, and a moment later Yucheng winces, leaning down to rub his calf. “Sorry,” he mutters.

“No, it’s fine,” she says. “We’re actually not sure.”

“Your mother is fine otherwise,” Dongfang Qingcang quickly interjects. Her heart jumps a bit at being called mother. “No need to worry.”

“No need to worry?” Yucheng exclaims. “You’re not worried that she’s forgotten everything?”

“She hasn’t forgotten everything,” Dongfang Qingcang bites out.

Xiao Lanhua blushes a bit. “Only the past two thousand years,” she offers.

Yucheng turns a kind expression towards her. “It’s okay,” he replies reassuringly. “But I’m wondering how I can help.”

Xiao Lanhua thinks for a moment. “Can I ask some questions?”

“Sure!” he replies eagerly.

“Do I have more children?”

Dongfang Qingcang chokes on a vegetable, and Yucheng glances at him before replying. “Well, I have a sister.”

“A sister!” Xiao Lanhua exclaims. 

Dongfang Qingcang takes a long sip of tea. “Her name is Yijiang,” he offers, clearing his throat.

“Yijiang.” The name is beautiful, she thinks, and very fitting for the daughter of the Moon Supreme. “How old are you, Yucheng?”

“I’m 1500,” he replies.

Xiao Lanhua starts. That’s the same age she is now! But that can’t be right, and she wrinkles her brow. “So old?” she asks in a small voice.

“We were only married a few years before Yucheng was born,” Dongfang Qingcang offers. “But he’s been cultivating for quite some time. Last year was his coming of age ceremony, when he officially became the Crown Prince.”

Dongfang Qingcang beams with pride, and Xiao Lanhua can’t help the warm feeling in her chest. “That’s very impressive,” she says to Yucheng. “Congratulations.”

He shifts in his seat uncomfortably. “Thanks,” he chuckles, a bit of a tinge forming around his ears. “Yijiang is just a bit younger than me. She’ll come of age this year.”

“Does she live here?” Xiao Lanhua asks, looking around.

“Yijiang is cultivating in the northern part of the kingdom,” Dongfang Qingcang explains. “She is apprenticing with the king of the north. She is a soldier like Yucheng.”

For a moment, Xiao Lanhua tries to picture it. Her daughter, a warrior, bright and strong and ready to fight her own battles. Not at all like the timid orchid she had been during her formative years. It fills her with pride as well, and Xiao Lanhua grins. “That sounds wonderful,” she says. 

“We’re very proud of them both.” Dongfang Qingcang smiles. “It wasn’t easy being newly married and running a kingdom with two little ones,” he laughs. “But I wouldn’t have had it otherwise.”

She thinks for a moment. “Is there anything else I should know?”

“Well… I have a brother too, in case you didn’t know.”

Xiao Lanhua’s mouth drops open. Three children? “You do?” Then a thought dawns on her that makes her go pale. “Are there any more?”

“No,” Dongfang Qingcang says quickly. “Jieyang was the last. He’s only ten. He just started his cultivation a couple of years ago.”

“And he is…?”

“In Lucheng.”

Xiao Lanhua frowns. He’s just a child, and yet she sent him to the city by himself? To do what? “Do you know why?” she asks.

Dongfang shrugs. “You decided he should spend some time in the human school. I don’t know why, he had tutors here. But you sent him to stay with Changheng, insisting it was for the best.”

She slumps a bit in her seat, at least thankful for that much. Lord Changheng will look after the boy. Then she shakes her head to clear it. You’re not their mother, she scolds herself again.

Whatever the real queen’s decisions were, they must have made sense at the time.

Xiao Lanhua looks at her hands, twisting in her lap. All these years have supposedly gone by, and none of it feels right. She had Dongfang Qingcang by her side—the husband she wanted more than anything—and they have this little family they created. It is all she had wished for, and yet she feels just as disconnected as ever. Is this truly her life? Xiao Lanhua shakes her head, unconvinced.

A hand slides along hers, and she looks up to find Dongfang Qingcang watching her with a warm expression. “It’s okay,” he murmurs. “I know this is a lot to take in.”

She smiles back, squeezing his hand in response. “It sounds like a lovely family.”

The door opens, interrupting the family moment. Shiqing pokes his head around a curtain and gives a wave. “Hey! Sorry to barge in,” he says, sounding not at all sorry. “My pop says the Moon Supreme is needed. Something about uh… I don’t remember.” He gives a wave to Xiao Lanhua before exclaiming, “Yucheng! I didn’t know you were back!”

Dongfang Qingcang narrows his eyes. But he removes his hand from hers and stands, sweeping around the table. “Your message was delivered,” he says sardonically. “You can leave now.”

Shiqing salutes the king as he leaves, but instead of following he walks over to the table. Taking an empty seat, he reaches over and takes an extra pair of chopsticks before scooping up a dumpling. “Oh wow,” he says after popping it into his mouth, “this is way better than what my mom made for dinner.”

Xiao Lanhua hides a chuckle but Yucheng makes a face. “I have to apologize for Shiqing,” he says. “Even though we’re the same age, he acts like he’s three.”

“I do not,” Shiqing says around the dumpling. 

“So you are the same age,” Xiao Lanhua repeats. They must have grown up together; she imagines what it would have been like to be pregnant at the same time as Jieli—and for Dongfang Qingcang and Shangque to become fathers at the same time! The idea makes her head spin.

“Is there anything else you want to know?” Yucheng asks.

“Ask me too,” Shiqing interjects. “I know everything about everybody around here.”

“Mother?” 

She looks up to see Yucheng watching her worriedly. “I’m fine,” she says quickly, deciding not to correct him this time.

Dongfang Qingcang pulls open the sash around his waist as he strides into his private chambers. He had spent the past few hours dealing with some officials that were found to be stealing tax money. There was evidence to go through, testimonies to hear, and when their guilt was clear he had deliberated their punishment. Xiao Lanhua wasn’t a fan of beheading or death in general, so he had sentenced them to a thousand years in the mines for each count of theft.

Being interrupted during the evening meal had annoyed him more than the task at hand, especially since he had to leave Xiao Lanhua alone. Well, not entirely alone. But he is sure it is better to ease her into her memories slowly to avoid any harm. He will need to speak to his son later so he’s aware.

Xiao Lanhua isn’t in the bedroom, but he hears noises coming from the washroom so he heads inside. He finds her in the bath, and with a sigh he walks by, pulling off his robe. “Sorry that took so long,” he says, moving to hang up his clothing. “They found the culprits behind the missing taxes. It turns out it was—”

He stops short as he turns, his shirt half-removed. Xiao Lanhua has slid down as far as she can under the water, her eyes wide as she peers at him. “Are you okay?” he asks.

“Yes!” she says, her voice coming out as a squeak. “But you—I mean I—I’m in the bath—”

Dongfang Qingcang looks down, and then it dawns on him. “Oh! You’re not used to this. Of course. How foolish…” He starts to finish taking off his shirt, but then stops and turns around, pulling it back on. “Sorry! I’ll let you finish. Just uh…”

“Can I have a minute to get out?”

He spins again and walks quickly from the washroom, pressing his palm to his forehead. Of course Xiao Lanhua would be shocked to see him! He curses himself before tying back up his shirt.

She emerges a few minutes later, dressed in a clean gown and her wet hair braided down her back. He looks away, not sure what to do, and pretends to be very interested in the lamp on the bedside table. Xiao Lanhua moves to the other side of the bed and pulls back the covers. “Are we…?” she asks.

Dongfang Qingcang clears his throat. “That’s up to you. If you’re comfortable.”

Xiao Lanhua nods. He had caught just a few hours of sleep the night before on the couch in their room, letting her take the bed as she recovered. But this would be any other normal night when they shared a bed. She offers him a shy smile and slides onto the mattress. “I don’t mind,” she says.

He gets in on his side of the bed and lays up on the pillows, folding his arms on his torso. This is also different: normally Xiao Lanhua is affectionate, the evening filled with playful if tired banter and at least a few stolen kisses. Now he lays frozen, afraid of startling her.

“Da Matou,” she says, “can I ask you a few questions?”

He turns his head to find her laying on her side, facing him. She looks as beautiful as always, her arm tucked up under her head, and he can’t help but smile. “Of course.”

“Can you tell me more about… about the children?”

Dongfang Qingcang swallows thickly, debating where to start. “Well, you’ve met Yucheng. He has far to go in his cultivation but he is an adept swordsman. He’s very talented, in fact, and smart too. Always has been. He could read early, and always did well at his lessons.” This is a topic that feels easy, and his shoulders start to relax. “Everyone says he’s just like me, but when I look at Yucheng all I see is you.”

“You do?”

He nods. The boy’s eager nature and unwavering sense of right and wrong had always seemed more Xiao Lanhua than anything else. “Then there is Yijiang,” he continues. Dongfang Qingcang grins as he thinks. “Yijiang is definitely your daughter. You look alike, could be sisters. But where Yucheng is a kid who always wanted to please, and do his best at everything, Yijiang never cared. She wanted to do what she wanted to do. She’s powerful, too, her cultivation just as strong as Yucheng’s, even though she started later. In fact, the last report I had—”

Dongfang Qingcang stops suddenly, realizing he’s been blabbing nonstop. Xiao Lanhua looks fascinated, but he clears his throat and shifts up on the pillows. “They are both children to be proud of, certainly. Yucheng will be a fine Moon Supreme one day. And Yijiang would do anything for anyone.”

Xiao Lanhua seems thoughtful for a moment as she takes all that in. “And then there’s Jieyang, right? He’s staying with Lord Changheng.”

“That’s right,” he replies. “You decided he needed some time away from the palace and be around other children.” Dongfang Qingcang had found it a surprise that Xiao Lanhua would dismiss his tutors, but he had trusted her judgment when it came to their youngest son. “Jieyang is quieter, a bit shy. Except when he’s around the other two. They really draw him out of his shell. And they are incredibly protective of him.”

“And he’s just begun cultivation?”

Dongfang Qingcang nods as he continues, “Just a couple of years now. But he’s already shown talent for healing.” He chuckles as he gazes at her face. “We all thought Yijiang would inherit the powers of the Xilan tribe, but it looks like it is Jieyang.”

“It sounds wonderful,” Xiao Lanhua murmurs.

Not sure what to say to that, he remains silent. He watches as her eyes close, her breathing becoming steady. It takes everything within him not to reach out and pull her against his chest. Silently he prays that they find an answer soon, and their lives can go back to the way they have always been.

Chapter Text

Dongfang Qingcang looks up from the pile of letters on his desk as Xiao Lanhua enters his office. He can’t help but smile, remembering how she often would interrupt him back before they were married, before she had her own days busy with tasks that demanded the Moon Queen’s attention. 

Since this business with her memories he cancelled all of her appointments, assigning anything that couldn’t wait to himself to deal with for the time being. It had seemed like the best course of action, and he wished he could do the same to his own schedule and focus fully on Xiao Lanhua’s recovery. With the additional workload he had been up early and skipped their normal breakfast routine, so it’s little surprise that she had come to find him now that the day wore on.

“Da Matou,” she pouts as she rounds his desk, “you were gone when I woke up this morning.”

He nods, reaching out to take her by the hip before remembering himself. But Xiao Lanhua places both of her hands on his shoulders and turns him to face her. “What was so important?”

“Just a few things to take care of,” he assures her, gesturing to the pile of scrolls waiting for his attention. “I will be finished before dinner, I promise.”

Xiao Lanhua nods before biting her lip. “Since you’re so busy here, you won’t mind if I go into the town and look around?”

Dongfang Qingcang frowns. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Something could spark my memory. Or maybe someone there would know the answer?”

He shakes his head. He had sent out messengers to every physician and cultivator who might be of any help, but there is nothing but rumors and speculation. The idea of her being out of his sight for long doesn’t sit well with him either. “Can you wait until I finish?” he asks. “Then I can take you myself.”

“But there’s no need,” she argues. “I’ve gone there lots of times, before…”

Her voice drifts off as her cheeks glow pink. Dongfang Qingcang sighs. “Take Shangque with you. At least then I’ll know you’ll be safe.”

“You don’t have to trouble him!” Xiao Lanhua exclaims. “I can go on my own.”

He is about to argue back and call the entire trip off; however, her brows draw down in a way that is all too familiar. It means she is ready to argue, and Dongfang Qingcang knows from thousands of years of experience he won’t win this battle easily. Hating to have an argument between them, he leans back in his chair and thinks. “At least take Yucheng with you,” he finally concedes. “For me, please?”

Xiao Lanhua considers for a moment before nodding. “You’re much more amenable than the Dongfang Qingcang I know,” she remarks.

He chuckles, not sure how to take that observation. “Marriage to you has taught me a few things, I think.”

She grins and leans down to plant a kiss on his cheek. Then she takes her leave as Dongfang Qingcang shifts in his chair, returning to his documents.

Shiqing talks nearly nonstop as they move from stall to stall, filling Xiao Lanhua in on all of the latest gossip of the ward. “So then the cake seller said to the blacksmith, if he had anything else to say to his wife, then he could—”

“Shiqing,” Yucheng bites out between his teeth. “Put a lid on it, will you?”

Xiao Lanhua covers her mouth with her hand to hide her giggle. They continue their walk around the market, stopping occasionally to examine the things for sale. 

The place is familiar, yet different. Many of the stalls have changed or moved, and Xiao Lanhua is disappointed when she finds her favorite bakery closed. “The owner moved away about 500 years ago,” Yucheng had explained cautiously. “You said at the time he made the best honey bread.”

“He did,” she sighs. The truth is, there are just as many unfamiliar places as there are familiar. The more they wander, the more she sees faces that were once young or shops that are long gone that used to be another favorite. Her heart sinks as they wander from place to place. Coming to town was supposed to bring ease, but instead it is causing more confusion.

Xiao Lanhua spots a vendor who looks familiar, sparking a memory. “What of the Mountain and Moon Festival?” she asks. “I don’t suppose it is still celebrated in Cangyan Sea?”

“Of course,” Shiqing says. “It’s one of the biggest events in the Moon Kingdom.”

She smiles, but then Yucheng adds, “We just celebrated it a few years ago. As the queen, you were the head of ceremonies. You and Father put a lock on the bridge together to open the festival.”

Of course she has no memory of this, and once again her chest goes tight at the idea. “Is it still there?” she asks. “Can I see it?”

Yucheng leads the way, and they head to the Lovesickness Bridge where the locks are placed. Xiao Lanhua gasps when she sees so many hanging; there must be hundreds all clustered along the railings. “Wow,” she breathes.

“I guess you don’t remember,” Yucheng says gently. “Your lock should be around here, in the center.”

Xiao Lanhua steps closer to the locks, examining them carefully. So many names are etched into the sides, and she finds herself captivated by the sight. Cangyan Sea must truly be at peace for so many lovers to come to the bridge and hang a lock. Her sacrifice is worth it to bring such simple happiness to the people.

“Here it is!” Shiqing calls over. “Right here!”

Xiao Lanhua makes her way to him, and he steps aside as he points to one particular lock. It is large with an intricate pattern decorating it. Sure enough, on the surface is her name, etched in Dongfang Qingcang’s bold script.

Xiao Lanhua!

Tears rise in her eyes. Her own Moon and Mountain Festival had been anything but happy. She recalls waiting on the bridge, dread growing in her chest as she refused to believe he would abandon her. He had promised, after all. Then seeing Dongfang Qingcang arrive, slowly walking towards her, and the kiss they had shared had melted away all doubt of how he felt about her. It had been that moment she knew for sure that he loved her, and she loved him, and she would never, ever let him go.

She rubs her thumb along her name. “Daqiang,” she sighs quietly.

“Xiao Lanhua…”

Her name catches her attention, and she looks up. To her surprise, Dongfang Qingcang is here, standing a few feet away and staring out over the mountain. “Da Matou!” she says excitedly. “I didn’t know you were coming!”

“Xiao Lanhua, why? Why did you do this?”

He drops his head, and she realizes he is crying. But somehow she is frozen, unable to move. “I’m over here,” she says in confusion. 

He looks down and Xiao Lanhua realizes he is holding a lock. Dongfang Qingcang traces his fingertips tenderly along the surface before kneeling down to place the lock on the bridge. She hears the loud click as he closes it together, and Dongfang Qingcang is shaking as he stands, his face drawn.

“I love you,” he says, his voice breaking. “I never got to tell you. I was so cruel. I had promised not to lie but I made you cry. I never deserved you.”

“Dongfang Qingcang?” Xiao Lanhua feels a tear slip down her cheek. What is he talking about? She is right here!

Is this another trick? She looks around quickly for a clue. They are alone on the bridge, the moon high in the night sky and illuminating everything, just like that night. She remembers how he had collapsed in her arms, her cries for him going unheeded as he convulsed on the ground. It can’t be that night, so when? “Dongfang Qingcang,” she calls, “I’m here.”

“You’re gone,” he says, and she realizes he isn’t talking to her. Fear washes over her like cold water. “Why did you do it? I would have found a way. I would have done anything to change fate.”

Her stomach drops. He thinks she is dead… is this her reality, her own now? Is she back, and is he mourning her because she is dead by her own hand?

Xiao Lanhua!

Of course he is grieving. He was there to see her commit her final act. Xiao Lanhua chokes back a sob, realizing what her sacrifice truly means to him. She had been so focused on saving him and the Moon tribe, on trying to prevent the war, she had never stopped to think of what Dongfang Qingcang would do. Did she really assume he would move on?

To her horror he stands, gripping the railing tightly. He leans forward, and Xiao Lanhua lets out a cry. He is staring at the bottom of the canyon, tears still falling down his face. Xiao Lanhua fights against her invisible bonds, willing her body to move.

“You’re gone,” Dongfang Qingcang repeats sadly. “How am I supposed to live without you?”

He tilts forward, and as he lets go of the railing her body finally moves. “Dongfang Qingcang!” she screams, hurrying towards him, reaching out to grab his waist before he can fall.

“Mom!”

Her body goes backwards, and something breaks her fall as she crashes to the ground. “No! Let me go!” she cries, scrambling away from whoever or whatever stopped her.

She pushes to her knees and crawls to the railing of the bridge. Quickly she heaves herself up, looking down to see if Dongfang Qingcang had fallen. 

“Mom! What is it?” Yucheng is there, gripping her arm to pull her back, and she swings to him wildly.

“Dongfang Qingcang! He was—right here—”

Her lungs stutter as she stares at the young man. Yucheng wasn’t there. How…?

Xiao Lanhua looks down and sees the bridge is once more covered in locks. She is back in her own future. Then what did she see? Is this what is happening in her own time? She shakes her head, trying to clear it. “What happened?” she asks out loud.

“You almost went over,” Shiqing says, appearing at her side.

Yucheng’s grip on her is firm. His face is filled with worry, and Xiao Lanhua feels for a wild moment that she must comfort him. You’re not his mother.

“I saw him,” she whispers, trying to explain.

But Yucheng shakes his head. “There was no one else here,” he says. “You were looking at the locks, and then…”

He glances at the edge of the bridge, just as Dongfang Qingcang had, looking out at the emptiness. She realizes suddenly he is frightened, and it is because of her. “It’s okay,” she quickly says, trying to keep her voice from shaking. “I thought I saw something.”

Yucheng glances back at her, not speaking for a long moment. Slowly he releases the grip on her arm. “Let’s get back to the castle,” he suggests, his voice strained.

Xiao Lanhua nods. Her head is pounding, and suddenly she needs to see Dongfang Qingcang and make sure he is alright. “I’m sorry,” she apologizes, but Yucheng only nods and leads her back towards the palace, his hand on her elbow and not letting go.

There is a knock and a moment later Yucheng strides into the office. Dongfang Qingcang looks up and sighs, setting aside the scroll he is holding. “You’re interrupting,” he says.

“I need to talk to you,” Yucheng says through gritted teeth.

He can sense Shangque and Xunfeng, who are also in attendance at this meeting, grow tense at Yucheng’s disrespect. Hoping to diffuse the situation, Dongfang Qingcang nods. “Shangque, I’ll leave the queen under your protection until I return. Xunfeng, continue with your examinations in the palace. We’ll meet again in the morning.”

Shangque salutes before leaving, but Xunfeng hesitates. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” he asks quietly, looking at the fuming prince.

But Dongfang Qingcang shakes his head. “I can handle my son,” he says reassuringly.

Xunfeng gives an abbreviated bow and leaves, giving Yucheng a final glance. Now that they are alone, Dongfang Qingcang takes his seat. “I’m glad you’re here,” he says. “I’d like to hear your version of what happened.”

“My version?” Yucheng’s voice twists with emotion. “There is no version! She was… somewhere else. I don’t know. She went completely still, then called your name, and then…” He stops and looks at Dongfang Qingcang, who notices his eyes have gone red. “If I wasn’t there, she would have gone straight over! What is going on? This is more than just a few forgotten memories! You lied to me.”

“I never lied to you,” Dongfang Qingcang says slowly.

“You said she’d be fine! It was a loss of some memories. You made it sound like it was temporary.” Yucheng approaches the desk, placing his hands flat on the wood as he leans in towards his father. “This is more than that. You should have told me how sick she is.”

“I didn’t know,” Dongfang Qingcang argues back. “This isn’t the first time your mother has had a moment like this—”

“Not the first time!”

“But it was certainly the worst,” he finishes.

Yucheng grits his teeth. “You have Shangque and uncle here, you trust them with this? But not me? I’m the Crown Prince. I’m your son.”

“Of course I trust you,” Dongfang Qingcang replies sharply. “I just didn’t want you to worry.”

“You can trust me with things. I should be doing something. I should be…” 

He paces for a moment, running his hand through the top of his hair, before sitting heavily in a chair. “Dad, you didn’t see her, you didn’t…” Yucheng leans forward, holding his head in his hands. “What if I wasn’t there?”

“But you were, that’s what’s important.” Dongfang Qingcang stands and walks over to Yucheng, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Don't worry. I’m going to get to the bottom of this.”

Yucheng heaves a deep breath. “What is happening?” he asks, looking up with teary eyes.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “I’ve consulted multiple physicians. Shangque has turned the palace upside down for answers, and Xunfeng has been interrogating anyone in contact with the queen. We have no clues yet.”

“This is nonsense.” Yucheng looks up and glares at him. “You’re the Moon Supreme. How can you not have answers?”

Dongfang Qingcang ignores the slight from his son. He recognizes the fear in his voice; he had heard it many times before as he was growing up. Unlike Yijiang, who found the unknown thrilling, Yucheng would get angry when he was afraid. “We’re all trying our best,” he replies.

“What can I do?”

“Stay by her side,” he says. “Keep the queen safe until we know more.”

With a nod he wipes at his eyes before standing. “Does Yijiang know? Or Jieyang?”

“No,” Dongfang Qingcang replies. “I thought it best not to worry them either.”

To his relief Yucheng nods. “Good. I’ll handle things here. Especially Jieyang, he won’t understand.” He folds his arms in thought. “It’s a good thing Mom sent him away. Almost like she knew something would happen.”

Dongfang Qingcang frowns. “Why would you say that?”

“Just a good thing she did, is all.”

Much calmer now, Yucheng bows and leaves, and Dongfang Qingcang sits back down at his desk. He needs to go and check on Xiao Lanhua and reassure himself that she is okay. But Yucheng’s words gnaw at him, so he makes a note to check on Jieyang in the morning, realizing he hasn’t in a couple of weeks. Another soul in his care that he feels like he is failing. Dongfang Qingcang takes a long moment to gather himself together before heading towards their private wing.

Chapter Text

Xiao Lanhua sits in an overstuffed chair gazing out over the balcony. She tugs up her blanket under her chin, tea cooling and forgotten on the little table nearby. Outside the sky is turning dark, and she watches one by one as the stars begin to appear in their swirling patterns.

Siming had taught her the names of some of the stars, their stories of lovers and heroes. It should bring some comfort, but Xiao Lanhua just leans her head against the back of the chair. She draws one knee up, the other foot dangling beneath the blanket. Where is Siming now, she wonders? Did she ever return from her travels, did she attend their wedding, did she know that Xiao Lanhua was a mother now? She has to remember to ask Dongfang Qingcang, Not knowing makes her feel all the more alone.

It has been three days since she woke up in someone else’s life, four if you count the night she thought she had died. Her palm presses to her stomach. That was real, she knows it was. But this is real too. What frightens her most isn’t what’s missing: it’s that it doesn’t feel like they are missing. There is no empty spot in her mind, nothing to make her feel like she has lived this life that everyone says is hers. She doesn’t feel like a queen, or a mother, or the wife of Dongfang Qingcang. 

The memory of seeing him on the bridge makes her shiver. It had been so real. Just like the last time, when Shangque had interrupted the vision of dying. Xiao Lanhua hugs herself tightly. Something terrible is happening to her, but what?

Footsteps catch her attention, and a minute later Dongfang Qingcang appears between the curtains. “There you are,” he says quietly. “I thought you’d be in bed by now.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” she replies truthfully.

He nods and moves closer, sitting on the floor by her feet. One elbow settles on the arm of the chair and he gazes up at her softly. “What happened today?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” whispers Xiao Lanhua. “I don’t know what is happening to me.”

Dongfang Qingcang nods. Hesitantly he moves his hand before pressing it reassuringly on her thigh. “I will figure out what’s happened. Don’t worry.”

She shifts then, putting both legs down so she can lean towards him. “But what if nothing has happened to me?” she asks. “What if I’m from the past?”

“It’s impossible,” he replies. 

“How do you know?”

Dongfang Qingcang makes a familiar face, a long sigh escaping his chest. “I know you,” he says. “I would know you among a thousand who looked exactly like you.”

That is a bit reassuring, but Xiao Lanhua slumps back in her chair. “Do you want to know what I saw on the bridge?”

He nods, and Xiao Lanhua folds her arms around herself. “It was you. You were placing a lock on the bridge with my name on it, only you were alone. You were so sad, and you asked me why… why I had sacrificed myself.” Emotion swells in her chest and she finds herself blinking back tears. “Did that happen? Did you place a lock for me when I was dead?”

Dongfang Qingcang shakes his head. “No,” he answers. “The next time I was on the bridge, the two of us were together.”

“What happened after I used the sword?” she asks.

He sits up straighter, turning his gaze away. “You died in my arms. Your death saved the three realms. Everyone who perished in the war came back, and the 100,000 soldiers were saved. Both Cangyan Sea and Shuiyuntian worshipped you as the Xilan Goddess.”

“How did I come back?”

“It was the seal,” he explains. “Our souls were connected. Changheng helped extract yours from mine, and then all we had to do was wait.”

Xiao Lanhua thinks this over for a moment. “And that’s it? I came back and all was well?”

“You came back to me,” he says, taking her hands. “We wed soon after. The two tribes came to a peace agreement, and it has held ever since.”

It sounds right, and yet something is missing. She tries to picture it and fails. “Lord Changheng told me I was Xiyun. I don’t feel a connection to her. I don’t feel like I belong to Xishan.”

His thumbs stroke her fingers. “You grew into your role. Your powers awakened after you came back. They will again.”

“I just feel like there is something else,” she says. “Why would I picture you on that bridge, if you had never gone? Why do I keep seeing the Xuanxu Realm, if it was two thousand years ago?”

“It’s the last thing you remember, it makes sense you would be thinking of it,” he says. “As far as the vision goes… I don’t know. Your memories are playing tricks on you.”

It’s too easy of an answer and brings her no comfort. Xiao Lanhua slides from the chair and into Dongfang Qingcang’s lap, settling her head on his chest as his arms go tight around her. She turns and presses her face to his shoulder, breathing in the scent of his soap. This too is familiar, but does not feel like hers.

The next day proves a difficult one for Dongfang Qingcang. He could barely rest, finally falling asleep just before dawn, making him then oversleep and nearly miss his first meeting. In a flurry he had gotten dressed and said a brief good morning to Xiao Lanhua before heading to the throne room to hear an audience with the king of the South You about tariffs.

The morning stretches on, anxiety gnawing at him with every minute. He sends Shangque to check on Xiao Lanhua, his only relief hearing that she had stayed in the castle to have lunch with Yucheng. 

After his audience with the king, it is straight into a meeting on military positions that had been postponed for several days. After a brief lunch he remembers to write to Changheng about Jieyang, and decides to write to the North You to check on Yijiang as well. Part of him wants to summon his children home so he can know for sure they are all protected until whatever has happened to Xiao Lanhua is resolved. He is still convinced there is still some threat to the queen, but if that is the case, they are safer where they are.

He sends the letters with two messengers before diving into the growing pile of letters waiting for the queen. Dongfang Qingcang feels a pang of guilt going through her correspondence, but what else is there to do? He promises himself once he is done then he will go and see Xiao Lanhua, and they will have dinner together. He will check in with Yucheng as well, who probably needs more reassurance today. Dongfang Qingcang rubs his forehead as he reaches for the first scroll.

Most of it are personal letters from various nobility in Cangyan Sea, requests for boons or guidance from the goddess. There are thank you letters among the pile as well, scrolls asking for aid, even some from Shuiyuntian. The rest of the letters are standard fare, most asking for something from the queen. But one catches his attention, and he leans his elbows forward on the desk as he reads:

Greetings Your Grace, the venerable Xiyun, Moon Queen,

I have an update for you about the situation in the third ward. 

As you may recall, Lord Zhihao has lost his memories of the past few thousand years. He believes he is still in training, and does not recognize his wife or children. We have tried the suggestions you made for remedies but to no avail.

Recently he has become volatile in his assertions that he is in the wrong time, and the apothecary has had to keep him well sedated for his own safety.

With Lord Zhihao fallen ill there is no one to direct the ward. I tried finding the source and I regret to inform Your Grace that I failed. I will await your punishment for being so inept. In the meantime, please advise us on what to do regarding the third ward and Lord Zhihao. Should I write to the Moon Supreme? At your request we have not, but with Lord Zhihao growing worse it may be prudent for us to do so soon.

With Best Regards,
General Tian Yin, Third Ward

“He’s lost his memories?” Dongfang Qingcang says aloud. He reads the letter again, his heart beginning to pound with every word. A lord has fallen ill, just like Xiao Lanhua… and she knew? Dongfang Qingcang frowns to himself. How long had she been corresponding with them, he wonders? 

And why wouldn’t she tell him about this? 

As queen, Xiao Lanhua often took care of many things herself. Most of them had to do with the palace or the children, or affairs with Shuiyuntian. But she would not make a decision without him, and to his knowledge she had never failed to tell him about something affecting his own kingdom. He stares at the letter as his hand begins to shake slightly. First she sends Jieyang away. Then she loses her memories. Now he discovers she’s been keeping a secret from him.

He decides he must go himself.

“Shangque!”

His guard arrives at once and salutes. “Yes, my lord?”

“Prepare a unit to accompany us to the third ward. There is something suspicious going on there that may link to the queen’s malady.”

Shangque nods and moves to leave, but Xunfeng enters and nearly runs straight into him. “My lord,” he says with a bow, “I’ve concluded in interviewing the staff. I have found nothing suspicious.”

“My lord,” Shangque adds, “the guard has also reported there was no intruder that night. No threats have been detected against Her Majesty.”

Dongfang Qingcang gives a scowl. “It’s impossible. Check again.”

Xunfeng and Shangque exchange a glance. “There is no one who would threaten the Xilan goddess,” Xunfeng says. 

“There are plenty who would threaten me,” he counters. “We haven’t considered that the queen was not the intended target.”

“But why, my lord?” Xunfeng asks. “The peace treaty is still in effect. There have been no uprisings for hundreds of years. If someone wanted to harm you, then who? Why now?”

Aggravation crawls under his skin. He hands the letter to Xunfeng, who reads it silently before passing it to Shangque. “Another victim?” he muses out loud.

Dongfang Qingcang nods. “It seems the queen is not the first to have this memory loss.”

“How many others?” Xunfeng asks. 

“I don’t know,” Dongfang Qingcang replies through gritted teeth. “The queen did not tell me about this before.”

There is a heavy silence before Xunfeng says, “This needs to be investigated. We should look through Her Grace’s records to see if there are additional cases.”

Annoyance bubbles up at his brother as Dongfang Qingcang says, “We are not going through Xiao Lanhua’s personal things.”

“But if the queen is keeping things from you—”

“She’s not keeping things from me!” he shouts as he stands. “You have no idea what you’re talking about!”

“Dongfang Qingcang.”

He stops, looking up to see Xiao Lanhua hovering in the doorway. Xunfeng looks appropriately chastised, hanging his head and taking a step back. Dongfang Qingcang glares at him angrily as she slowly steps inside. “What’s going on?” she asks.

“Nothing,” he says quickly. “Xunfeng and Shangque were just leaving.”

The two take the suggestion, Xunfeng giving him a final cold look before heading back through the door. Once alone, Dongfang Qingcang walks over to Xiao Lanhua and places his hands on her arms. “What are you doing here? You should be resting.”

“You’re upset,” she says. 

Dongfang Qingcang shakes his head. “It’s fine, nothing I can’t handle. Just a busy day.”

“Don’t lie to me, Daqiang.”

Slowly he releases his hold on her as his temper fades, surrendering to her admonishment. “There’s something you need to see.”

He takes her hand and leads her to the desk. After a moment’s hesitation, he hands over the letter, watching carefully as she reads it.

The surprise on her face is evident and brings him some relief. “Someone else lost their memories?” she exclaims. “And this letter was written to me?”

“It seems you’ve been in communication with them for at least a short while.” Dongfang Qingcang sits on the edge of his desk. “Do you remember anything about this?”

“No, of course not… why wouldn’t I tell you about this?”

“I don’t know,” he sighs. “And if you can’t tell me now, we may never know.”

Xiao Lanhua crushes the letter in her hand. “This isn’t something I would do. This just further proves that I’m not the queen.” She looks at Dongfang Qingcang with sharp eyes. “I want to go and see him.”

Dongfang Qingcang nods. “I was going to investigate myself. I wonder if there is a way for you to cure him.”

“I can certainly try, but even if I can, I can’t heal myself.” She tosses the letter on a table with a frown. “Did the queen keep any notes? A journal of some kind? Maybe there were other cases.”

This is just what Xunfeng had suggested, and Dongfang Qingcang feels a bit embarrassed by his outburst. “You have a journal. Several, in fact. In your office.”

“I have an office?” she says in surprise. “Let’s go there right now!”

With a nod he leads her to another area of the public wing, where the queen had set up her own area for work and study. There is a formal sitting room to receive guests, and beyond that the informal seating and her private office. He keeps an eye on her when they enter, watching for any recognition. But Xiao Lanhua looks around curiously, checking the titles on the bookshelf and reading the map that hangs on the wall.

Her desk sits in the center, not as large and grand as the Moon Supreme’s, but custom-made for the queen. Xiao Lanhua approaches cautiously, her fingers tracing over the neat pile of scrolls waiting for her attention, the inkwell and brush, the small baubles that sit as decoration. She takes a seat in the chair, lowering herself carefully, as if she would disturb the room. But to Dongfang Qingcang she looks just as she always did when he would visit her in her office to discuss some matter or another.

He watches as she slides her palm along the wood. Then she shakes herself and begins to look through everything, moving scrolls and opening books to check inside. There is a drawer on one side that she opens, emptying its contents onto the desk. Meanwhile, Dongfang Qingcang looks among the bookcases, meticulously checking the titles. But no journals appear, only books on history and poetry and gardening, and in frustration she slumps against the desk. “Where would I put them?”

Dongfang Qingcang looks around the room. “Would you keep a hiding place? Somewhere to keep things private?”

Xiao Lanhua shakes her head. “I never needed to before. Where could my journals have gone?”

Another mystery to solve, and as his heart sinks his eyes fall on a portrait sitting by the side. It is of their family, and he remembers sitting for it not even a year ago, soon after Yucheng’s coming of age ceremony. It wasn’t long after that Yijiang had left for cultivation, and then eventually Jieyang was sent away to Lucheng. He remembers Yucheng’s comment from the night before, and something uncomfortable settles in Dongfang Qingcang’s stomach. Is it possible Xiao Lanhua knew something bad was happening, and was trying to protect them when her own memories disappeared? And why would she keep the truth from him?

Chapter Text

They prepare to leave the next morning for the third ward when a messenger arrives. “My lord!” he exclaims as he hurries in, throwing himself onto his knees. “An urgent message for the queen!”

“The queen?” Dongfang Qingcang says sharply. 

Xiao Lanhua holds out her hand. “Give it to me.”

The messenger quickly deposits a scroll before making a hasty exit. Dongfang Qingcang frowns as she unrolls the message. After a minute she looks up with wide eyes before handing it over to him, which reads:

Xiao Lanhua,

I’m sorry to bother you with this but I thought you must know. Jieyang had an accident and hurt his arm pretty badly. He was sleepwalking and fell down a set of stairs.

He is healing up fine but has seemed to be distraught the past few days. Can you come to Lucheng for the day? I’m sure he will be glad to see you and will feel better once you visit him.

Changheng

“Damn it all,” he mutters. The third ward needs his attention, and now this? He pictures little Jieyang, hurt and in pain and needing his mother. What to do? 

“You should go,” she says, placing a hand on his arm. “Jieyang needs you.”

“He needs you,” Dongfang Qingcang counters, but Xiao Lanhua shakes her head.

“He needs a parent,” she insists. “I can go to the third ward on my own.”

Dongfang Qingcang makes a face. “I really would rather we went together. Besides seeing the general, there are other things to sort out as well.”

Xiao Lanhua takes a deep breath before nodding. “We’ll put it off for one day. Go to Lucheng and make sure Jieyang is alright.”

He nods and gives her forehead a kiss. “Are you sure you won’t come?”

“I don’t want to distress him any more than he already is,” Xiao Lanhua replies. “We can explain things to him once we know more.”

She may insist she is not his mother, but Dongfang Qingcang suspects her instincts are right. He calls for Xunfeng and sends him ahead to learn all he can about the general’s ailment and the state of the ward, promising to be there tomorrow at the latest. Leaving Xiao Lanhua under the protection of Shangque, Dongfang Qingcang heads to Lucheng.

Yunmeng Lake is just as lively and bustling as ever. Dongfang Qingcang walks down the now-familiar streets, passing by street vendors and shoppers moving quickly from one stall to another. A pack of children with a kite run by and are scolded by a fruit seller, while a loud cheer erupts from inside one of the inns. Dongfang Qingcang can’t help but smile a bit as he heads quickly through town. He has many fond memories of the city, after all.

Changheng had taken up residence at their old mansion. Now that Xiao Run is a man forgotten in the thousands of years since his death, Changheng now lives as a distant relative for the elusive family that owns the home. Many strange rumors circulate about the master that never visits or has ever been seen. But Changheng appears often enough to be familiar with the locals and have a well-running household.

The servants must have been told a visitor was coming because Dongfang Qingcang is allowed in right away. He is escorted to one of the buildings and asked to wait, but a few minutes later he hears a familiar voice. 

Going to investigate, he finds his youngest son balancing on a bench as a tutor looks on approvingly. Jieyang holds one arm out as he takes one step in front of the other, reciting numbers. Dongfang Qingcang pauses for a moment, smiling at the scene. Jieyang seems to have grown since he was gone, and he realizes how much he missed seeing his son every day.

“Jieyang!” he calls, holding up a hand and waving.

“Father!” 

Jieyang jumps from the bench and runs towards him. Dongfang Qingcang’s brows go up when he notices that one arm is wrapped in cloth. “Don’t run!” he calls, but a moment later the boy crashes into his legs in a one-armed hug.

“Papa, papa, papa,” Jieyang sings. “Did you come to see me?”

Dongfang Qingcang kneels and gives him a proper hug. Jieyang slings his good arm around him as he stands, lifting his son. “I did,” he replies. “I heard you had an accident.”

Jieyang holds up his arm. “I fell. Where’s mom?”

“She’s a bit busy,” Dongfang Qingcang replies. “So I came to see you myself. Does it hurt?”

“Not really.” Jieyang pouts a bit, picking at the embroidery on the king’s collar. “Can I come home with you?”

Dongfang Qingcang clears his throat. “Maybe. I need to talk to Changheng first.”

Jieyang wiggles down and grabs his hand. “He’s over in the big building! I can show you.”

The tutor bows as they head off, Jieyang talking the entire time. By the time they reach the main building, Dongfang Qingcang has learned the names of all of Jieyang’s classmates, the words he can now write, how many dumplings he ate at dinner three nights ago, and the fact that there is an orange cat somewhere on the grounds. “I named him Ginger,” Jieyang says happily as they climb the steps. 

They enter the building to find Changheng writing at a desk. “Dongfang Qingcang!” he says in surprise, quickly standing and walking to greet them. “I didn’t expect you.”

“I came to check on Jieyang,” he replies. He looks down at Jieyang, who is clinging to his arm. “He seems to be in fine spirits.”

“The apothecary in town is very good and gave him something for the pain,” Changheng explains. “But where is the queen? Is she here as well?”

Dongfang Qingcang clears his throat. “No. I have something to discuss with you.”

Changheng nods before kneeling. “Jieyang, why don’t you take your father to your room?” he suggests. “But first you should check to make sure it is clean.”

Jieyang’s eyes go wide as he nods. “Be right back!” he shouts, running outside.

Dongfang Qingcang smiles as he watches him go. “I think he’s grown.”

“Probably. He eats well.” Changheng gestures to the sitting area, and they each take a seat. He picks up the teapot steaming on the table and pours the tea. “Now tell me your news.”

With some trepidation, Dongfang Qingcang fills him in on the events of the past few days. “We have no traces of an intruder or any dark magic,” he says. “There are no clues as to what has happened, other than this other case.”

Changheng frowns in thought. “I haven’t ever heard of anything like that,” he replies. “Are you sure she did not sustain an injury?”

“What sort of injury would the goddess of Xishan sustain?” Dongfang Qingcang asks. “She can heal anything.” 

Changheng watches him warily, so Dongfang Qingcang clears his throat. “I don’t mean to be short,” he says as an apology. “This has been a trying few days.”

Changheng nods. “I will write to Danyin and see if there are any similar cases in Shuiyuntian. Meanwhile you can check on Jieyang, and then stay for dinner.”

He finds his son pulling the pillows straight on his bed as the servants flutter around his room, straightening toys and taking away clothing to be washed. “Father!” he exclaims when he spots him. “You’re too early.”

Dongfang Qingcang looks around the room with some amusement. “I see you are keeping things well here. Is this where you sleep?”

“Yup! And here’s a drawing I made. Do you like it?” Jieyang moves behind a small desk, holding up a picture with his good hand. “Lord Changheng says I am very good at art. Do you think so?”

“I do,” he agrees, taking the picture for closer inspection. To him it looks like a series of globs with eyes, but he gives his son a warm smile. “You’re doing very well.”

“Can we play ball?”

“First I want to hear about your arm,” Dongfang Qingcang says.

Suddenly, the boy goes very still. His brows go in as he watches Jieyang shift on his feet, and when his lip begins to tremble Dongfang Qingcang quickly takes a seat and pulls his son onto his lap. He had always been a sensitive child, being upset when others were and anxious to please adults. “No need to be upset,” he says soothingly. “You’re not in any trouble.”

“Where’s mom?” Jieyan whispers.

Dongfang Qingcang sighs. “She’s back at the Moon Palace.”

Jieyang nods slowly. He looks sadly at his arm, so Dongfang Qingcang continues, “Tell me what happened. Changheng said you were sleepwalking? When did this start?”

Jieyang shakes his head. “No, I wasn’t sleeping,” he says quietly. “I was awake.”

“Why did you get out of bed?”

He frowns as Jieyang takes a deep breath. “I had another dream.”

“Oh.” Dongfang Qingcang sighs. “Was it a bad dream?”

“No. It was a red dream.”

The fear in his voice when he says it makes Dongfang Qingcang’s chest tighten. “What’s a red dream?”

“It’s when the monster comes. I see him sometimes.”

Dongfang Qingcang tries not to make a face. “The monster?”

“Shiqing told me all about him. He has fire for hair and long teeth and he eats children as they sleep. I see him whenever I have a red dream.”

Of course it is Shiqing filling the boy’s head with stories. “He’s not real,” Dongfang Qingcang assures him. “It’s just a story Shiqing made up to scare you.”

“No, I’ve seen him! Mom saw him too.”

“What?” Dongfang Qingcang frowns. “Your mother saw the monster?”

Jieyang shakes his head. “Mom said not to tell anyone.”

That is even more disturbing. Dongfang Qingcang feels his blood run cold at the idea. “Why would she say that?”

“She said if I had another red dream I should only tell her. Can we go see her?”

Dongfang Qingcang looks away. Under normal circumstances, Xiao Lanhua would be there, and she could give an explanation for Jieyang’s behavior. There is no reason for her to have the boy keep secrets; that is the last thing he’d expect his wife to do. But this isn’t the first secret he’s discovered she is keeping. 

“I think we will go home and see her,” he finally says. Even if she doesn’t remember telling Jieyang about the dream, perhaps Xiao Lanhua can at least get him to talk more about it.

“Is mom okay?” Jieyang asks.

Dongfang Qingcang nods. “Of course she is,” he says, figuring it’s not entirely a lie. “What makes you ask that?”

“Because she would usually be here if I was hurt, not you. Can we see her soon?”

He doesn’t reply, unsure of what to say. After a moment Jieyang offers a small, comforting smile. Dongfang Qingcang pulls him into a tight hug, blinking away tears when his son’s arms go around his neck. He should have known better than to try to keep anything from the boy.

They spend a bit of time kicking the ball around, and when Jieyang is tired they go back to his room where he writes his name proudly to show his father. Before long the afternoon wears on to dinner time, and they join Changheng for a meal at a table inside the main building.

“I’ll be taking him home,” Dongfang Qingcang says as the servants put out the dishes. “I need to speak with Xiao Lanhua about the dream he had.”

Changheng shoots him a glance. “His dream? Didn’t he just have a nightmare?”

The king shakes his head, unwilling to give too much away, especially in front of Jieyang. He veers the conversation to Lucheng and the latest news from the city, and by the time the meal is over Jieyang is practically asleep sitting up.

Dongfang Qingcang lays him down on some cushions as Changheng pours wine for them both. “Have you heard Jieyang talk about a monster?” he asks.

Changheng gives him a strange look. “Isn’t that a children’s story?”

“Yes, but Jieyang thinks it’s real.” He takes a long sip of wine, the liquid cool as he swallows. “He told me that Xiao Lanhua believes in him too. That he should tell her when he sees him.”

“It sounds like she was just trying to comfort the boy,” Changheng suggests.

“Maybe. But what if there was more to it?” Dongfang Qingcang rolls his cup on the table in thought. “If there is a person, someone with ill intentions, they could be behind what’s happened to the queen.”

“But you said there was no break in,” Changheng argues. “And there certainly wasn’t one here, I would know it.”

Dongfang Qingcang nods. “It’s still odd she wouldn’t tell me about this. In fact, it’s…”

His voice fades away as he considers the possible explanations. Could Xiao Lanhua be hiding more things from him? Why? He takes a drink of wine to soothe the burning in his throat. 

“It’s very unlike her,” Changheng agrees.

“I don’t know if she’ll even remember,” Dongfang Qingcang sighs. “What if we go home and she can’t tell me why she would keep such a secret?”

Changheng nods gravely. “After all the goddess has done for Shuiyuntian, and all the kingdoms, we will help however we can. Anything I can do, I am at your disposal.”

Dongfang Qingcang is grateful for the offer, but he is unsure of what to say. “Thank you,” he finally mutters. “And thank you for looking after Jieyang.”

“I’ll miss him when he’s gone,” Changheng says affectionately. “He does bring quite a bit of life to this quiet house.”

The door opens, and a servant bows before stepping aside. Dongfang Qingcang recognizes the messenger from the Moon kingdom who enters. “My lord!” he says, giving a bow to the king before also bowing to Changheng. “I have word from the Moon Palace.”

“Is everything all right?” Dongfang Qingcang frowns.

“Lord Shangque sent me to find you,” he says. “The queen is gone, and when he sent out a party to fetch her and her escorts they were nowhere to be found.”

“She’s missing?” Dongfang Qingcang leaps to his feet, followed by Changheng. “Is that what you’re saying?”

The messenger gives another bow. Panic starts to swell in his chest, but he pushes it away. Getting emotional now will only complicate things. “Changheng, I need to go.”

“Shall I come with you?”

Dongfang Qingcang shakes his head. “Can you make sure Jieyang gets home?”

“Of course,” Changheng nods. 

Dongfang Qingcang looks regretfully at his sleeping son. He had wanted to take him back personally and put him to bed at the palace. But that will have to wait, and he’ll have to trust Changheng to get him home. He sweeps from the room with long strides, heading outside before using his magic to return to Cangyan Sea.

Chapter Text

Xiao Lanhua paces her office, her eyes darting around. Where would her journals be? 

After Dongfang Qingcang had departed she spent a good portion of the morning going through every nook and cranny of the office, checking every drawer and shelf and even crawling under the desk to see if there was something there. But her journals are nowhere to be found, and finally she plops down in the chair with a huff.

There is a knock on the door and Yucheng pokes his head inside. “Can we come in?”

Xiao Lanhua nods and sits up, and he enters, followed by Shiqing carrying a tray of tea things. “You’ve been here all morning,” Yucheng says as he takes a seat. “You must need a break.”

“I haven’t done anything of note yet,” Xiao Lanhua sighs. “I’ve been looking for my journals and can’t find them anywhere.”

Yucheng frowns as Shiqing pipes in, “You used to keep them right on the third bookshelf.”

Xiao Lanhua hurries over but unfortunately they are not there. “I must have moved them,” she says, running her finger along the empty shelf.

“How did you know that?” Yucheng asks.

Shiqing spills a bit of tea as he pours. “I uh… may have read a bit. Just out of curiosity.”

“You read the queen’s journals?”

“Just a couple of things!”

An argument breaks out between the boys but Xiao Lanhua doesn’t pay any attention. So the queen had hidden them on purpose… what secret could they contain? She tries to imagine what could be so important she would keep it from Dongfang Qingcang, and fails. 

An idea sparks and she turns. “I need to go to Xuanxu.”

Yucheng has Shiqing by the collar, but both stop immediately and look over at her. “The Xuanxu Realm?” they say together.

“You want to go there?” Shiqing asks.

Xiao Lanhua nods. “I need to see where this all started..”

Yucheng lets go of Shiqing and stands. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. For one thing, there’s nothing there.”

“Yeah, Auntie,” Shiqing adds, “it’s basically a wasteland.”

“Second, Father wouldn’t want you going there unescorted.”

“Then escort me,” she says, before her eyes dart to the door. “But let’s maybe not tell Shangque.”

The sun begins to set as Xiao Lanhua searches among the rock formations for something familiar. They had been walking for hours, exploring the empty land where the Xuanxu Realm once stood.

Or had it? There is no evidence of the war that once took place here. Nothing but black rock and gray dirt that swirls with gusts of dry, cold wind.

“Are you sure this is the place?” Shiqing asks for the tenth time.

Xiao Lanhua nods numbly. She is sure this is where she had died. At least, it was somewhere close by. The lord of Haishi had taken her away from the Shuofeng Sword and into the desert. That’s where he had used his evil qi.

She recalls the first time Dongfang Qingcang had rescued her in Haishi: the soul-collecting cauldron had been filled with evil qi, and without his aid she would have been killed. She remembers the cry of the fairy that had gone before her, pushed from the ledge over the cauldron. Xiao Lanhua reaches out a hand to grab her, but it is too late, and the fairy falls through the air, her body—

“Mom? Are you okay?”

Xiao Lanhua shakes herself from the memory. “Yes, of course,” she says quickly. The sky is growing purple and she knows the light will be all but gone soon. “We should keep moving.”

The boys exchange a glance, but she ignores it in favor of continuing to walk. Behind her, the two start whispering. She draws her cloak closer around her arms, shivering slightly. Xiao Lanhua imagines that they must be thinking this is a lost cause, but she knows she is right. If she can just find the Shuofeng Sword, something will surely spark.

“Hey Auntie?” Shiqing jogs up in front of her, turning to walk backwards so they can talk. “Yucheng and I were just talking, and we think—”

“Don’t bring me into this!” Yucheng says quickly, hurrying over to give him a push.

“Okay, okay, fine. But really, there’s nothing out here.”

Yucheng gives him a flick on the ear, and the two have a seconds-long squabble before they turn back to Xiao Lanhua. “It’s not that we don’t want to help you,” he says. “It’s just that… well, we’ve been at it for hours.”

“And the cook was making fresh fig pies,” Shiqing adds. “Can we please go back to the Moon Palace?”

Xiao Lanhua sighs, her shoulders slumping. They are probably right, but then what really happened to her? She hugs herself with the memory of the lord of Haishi appearing so suddenly in Xuanxu. She’s not entirely sure he’s not behind all this.

She looks around one last time, the moon starting to rise. Dongfang Qingcang had appeared in the distance, her vision blurry as she had turned towards the sound of her name. Did she imagine that? Has she not only lost memory, but made a few up too?

“No,” she whimpers. “It has to be here.”

“Mom.” Yucheng takes her gently by the elbow. “Let’s go home.”

He stares at her intensely, and another memory surfaces: Dongfang Qingcang holding her arm, just like this, as he told her that she belonged to him. How naive she had been then, imagining he loved her. Yucheng looks so much like his father. Is she his mother? 

She shakes her head, tears springing to her eyes. Xiao Lanhua stumbles forward, not wanting to stop. If the sword isn’t real, then what is? Did she rescue Dongfang Qingcang? Did they visit Lucheng together? Did she ever face the Fuju Cave, or was all that just a dream too?

Xiao Lanhua looks up. Up ahead, the moonlight illuminates a certain rock formation, and she gasps in recognition. The Shuofeng Sword. “There,” she says excitedly, pushing past the boys to hurry towards the rock that looks like a huge weapon pointing to the sky. “This is it!”

Her feet pound on the ground as she runs, ignoring the calls from Yucheng behind her. Something is wrong, a sharp pain in her head taking her breath away, but she ignores it all to keep pushing forward. She stumbles once, twice, then regains her footing as she hurries around one stone structure after another. The place where she used the Chengying Sword must be nearby. “Where is it?” she whispers. “Where?”

She skids to a stop when she reaches the base of the rock. The answer is here, she is sure of it.

“Mom! Mom!” Yucheng and Shiqing arrive moments later, both panting, and Yucheng grabs her shoulders. “What are you doing? You could get hurt!”

“I’ve never seen you run so fast,” Shiqing says, leaning over to press his hands to his knees.

“Stay here,” she says, her voice a calm command. Stepping around Yucheng, she heads forward, but again he stops her.

“Please,” he pleads, his voice twisting with anxiety. “Please, just wait.”

“I need to get a look,” Xiao Lanhua says. “We’ll have to climb.”

There is a small slope at the bottom, and she tests her footing as she begins to make her way up. Her eyes train upwards, tracing a path in the stone. It isn’t easy, and eventually she must lean over and grab with her hands for support. But slowly, carefully, she climbs.

“Hang on!” Yucheng calls.

She doesn’t wait for them, continuing upwards. Dread begins to fill her chest, her face becoming flushed with exertion and her hands starting to ache from gripping the rock. Emotion begins to swirl, feeling heavy in her stomach as her hair falls in her face with a gust of wind.

The boys reach her in little time, and Yucheng holds out a hand. “Here,” he says, “let me help you.”

“I can do it,” she pants, but takes the hand anyway.

Together they move, and now the climb goes straight up. It is difficult to find footing at times, but luckily Shiqing is adept at scouting, finding the easiest holds and helping Xiao Lanhua up as Yucheng spots her from behind. Soon her body is aching, muscles not in regular use protesting so much physical exertion. Sweat beads along her brow, and she can hear the other two breathing just as heavily. To their credit, neither complain, giving aid to the queen with every step.

Two-thirds of the way up, Xiao Lanhua pauses to catch her breath. She presses her face into the crook of her elbow and fights off a dizzy spell. The dread is growing, remembering her fear from before, being handed the sword by Xunfeng, knowing what she had to do and yet… A laugh nearly escapes her, wild and unwanted. What is she doing here?

“Auntie.” Shiqing appears just above, offering her a hand. “Do you need help?”

“Did I ever tell you what happened here?” she asks. Xiao Lanhua looks over at Yucheng, who is staring at her with wide eyes that glitter in the moonlight. “Xunfeng brought me here. I needed to use the sword—it was the only way to save everyone—and your father, he had told me—”

Her foot slips and she nearly falls. Both boys shout, Shiqing grabbing her arm as Yucheng grabs her around the waist. “Stop,” he hisses. 

Xiao Lanhua swallows thickly. What was she saying? “We should keep moving,” she replies, taking Shiqing’s other hand and allowing him to help her to the next foothold.

A sound like thunder rumbling stops them. The air goes still, and Xiao Lanhua can feel her heart beating, the rhythm growing speed as they listen. “Do you feel that?” Shiqing whispers.

Yucheng nods. Keeping one hand on her back, he draws his sword with the other. “What is it?” he murmurs in response.

The air shifts, and now Xiao Lanhua can feel it too. A darkness is developing, and in the corner of her eye she spots a wisp of black smoke. Her stomach drops, her blood chilling.

Yucheng swings his sword. He knocks the smoke away, but more emerge from the mountain, nearly engulfing them in black ink. “What are those things?” Shiqing shouts.

“Move, damn it!” Yucheng yells. “Move, now!”

They begin to climb faster, scrambling up the side of the rock with hands and feet as the smoke swirls. Evil qi, Xiao Lanhua thinks, but that makes no sense. It means that there were souls sacrificed here, and they are still restless, seeking vengeance on them as intruders.

The qi follows, and Yucheng does his best to fight off the energy with his blade, shimmering with magic. “Shiqing! Get the queen!” he calls, skidding down a few feet to better press against the mountain.

Xiao Lanhua looks over her shoulder, just in time to see one of the monstrous swirls heading straight for her. She yelps and turns away, bracing herself, but Shiqing is there, sending magic from his hands with a series of protective charms. As the qi deflects, he grabs her arms, hauling her upwards.

She shouts at him to stop, but Shiqing is all but carrying her up the side of the mountain. Her fingers start to bleed as the jagged edges scrape her skin. Behind her, Yucheng climbs with frantic breaths, the base of the rock formation now completely covered in darkness.

They don’t speak again until they reach the summit. Shiqing reaches the top first, pulling Xiao Lanhua behind him as Yucheng scrambles up over the edge. “We made it!” he calls, yanking her up.

She scrambles to her feet as Yucheng arrives, and they push her behind them as they prepare to defend her. Suddenly she is back in Lucheng, the qi churning around her as Dongfang Qingcang had pushed through to get to her. It had nearly killed him, draining him of his energy. What will happen to the boys when faced with the evil qi?

The blackness shoots upwards, forming arms that reach for the trio. “Get back!” Yucheng shouts, reaching behind him for Xiao Lanhua.

They dive downwards, and Xiao Lanhua holds her hands up in defense. Magic explodes from her bleeding hands, a flash of green and gold as her magic goes in every direction. The power is immense and she struggles to control it. She ducks her head as it pulses through her veins, wincing at the tingling sensation in her arms and hands. Again she thinks of Dongfang Qingcang, learning to use his magic just as she is now, only he was just a child. How did he survive? Her heart surges for the young boy who had been put through so much.

You can save him, a voice whispers. 

She whips her head around to find the source, but of course the area is still empty. The evil qi is swirling, and she keeps her hands raised, the effort making her arms tremble. 

“Mom!” Yucheng calls. He is on his knees, and slowly he stands on his feet. “Mom!” he yells again.

They’ll die if you don’t do something.

But she did do something, she had sacrificed herself. Xunfeng had given her the sword, and in her weakness she hesitated. She had wanted just another moment to think of Dongfang Qingcang, to mourn what they would never have. That moment was cut short by the Lord of Haishi, stealing her away and breaking the sword. He had filled her with evil qi, her body wracked with pain. He told her she couldn’t die now—but she had to, she has to die now.

You don’t have to die. You can stop it.

“Stop!” Xiao Lanhua suddenly feels a release as the world snuffs out. 

It’s strangely warm. Uncomfortably warm, in fact, and Xiao Lanhua winces when a hot gust of air blows against her face.

Of course, it had been terribly windy, the weather itself in turmoil as the two armies clashed in battle. In Xuanxu, the sun was hidden by dark, thick clouds that moved at great speed from the racing wind. And she is in the dirt, crawling, her hand reaching out for the sword just inches away.

But that already happened. Didn’t it? Xiao Lanhua shakes her head. There is nothing but darkness now. Perhaps she has died, for real this time?

The truth is, she doesn’t want to die. It is something she will barely admit to herself, afraid that she will break her resolve in using the sword to end the suffering of the Moon tribe and the war. End his suffering, because she knows deep down Dongfang Qingcang is in turmoil. Why else would he lash out at her like he did? She doesn’t believe for an instant he never loved her. 

Her fingers press to her lips. “Dongfang Qingcang,” she murmurs sadly.

There is another gust of wind, and Xiao Lanhua opens her eyes. She is somewhere she doesn’t recognize, but the feeling reminds her of Xuanwu’s home, a chamber filled with magic energy that could only be described as ancient. She turns, her eyes scanning the area. A red light glows, throwing ominous shadows on the ground.

You can save him.

The voice again, the one she heard before—but from where? “Who is here?” she demands.

You can save yourself.

Xiao Lanhua sucks in a sharp breath. “Show yourself.”

The air swirls, and Xiao Lanhua puts up an arm to shield her face. Above, a shapeless form comes together, evil qi swirling around it and through it. Her heart beats faster, fear prickling along her skin. A name emerges in her mind, a warning that she knows in her soul. “Tai Sui,” she says.

You recognize me, as I recognize you, goddess.

Xiao Lanhua shudders. Its voice is like ice, and everything in her screams to fight against the being. She looks down at her hands, wondering if she can draw on her new power. Being the goddess of Xishan is still so new to her, and she has little understanding of what exactly it means. 

We don’t need to be enemies. We can help each other.

“No,” she says. Xiao Lanhua takes a step back as the being churns wildly. “You’re supposed to be sealed. Why are you here?”

I am in everyone, Xiyun. I am born in every dark desire. Even yours.

She clenches her fists defiantly. “My only desire is to fulfill my fate,” she says. “I will get back to my world. I will save the Moon tribe and end the war.”

But isn’t this better?

Here you have Dongfang Qingcang.

Here you have a family.

Would you give all this up for death?

“You did this?” she cries. “You brought me here! The evil qi—it was for you, wasn’t it?”

This is your fate, Xiyun. You are goddess and queen. You have a happy life. Accept it and—

“I can’t!” she shouts. “What will happen to my people? To my Dongfang Qingcang?”

Embrace your darkest desire, Xiyun.

Xiao Lanhua crumples to the ground. Her darkest desire…? Is it so shameful to want Dongfang Qingcang, to want this family, this kingdom, this life? She buries her face in her hands. Why can’t she have it? Why can’t she just take it for herself?

Xiao Lanhua!

His voice breaks through her confusion. She turns, expecting to see Dongfang Qingcang crawling through the dirt towards her. But instead, his hands are on her shoulders, and when she sees his face looking at her with such deep concern she throws her arms around his neck and cries.

Chapter Text

Dongfang Qingcang is in a fury when he returns to the Moon Palace. “How could you misplace the queen?” he yells, the soldiers trembling. It is rare for the Moon Supreme to be so angry; never had he appeared in such a rage. “Find her!”

Shangque kneels as the rest of the guard scatters. “It’s my fault,” he says. 

The gesture makes the anger deflate a bit, and with a biting tone Dongfang Qingcang snaps, “Get up.”

Yucheng and Shiqing are also missing, he learns, which brings a bit of comfort. They must be with Xiao Lanhua, although where could they have gone? Shangque had the market and the palace searched, with no sign of the queen or the boys. As the minutes tick by, fear begins to take over. Xiao Lanhua is not well, what if she has another episode, but no one is there to help?

Dongfang Qingcang is giving orders when there is a sudden surge of energy. He and Shangque turn to the window, and his heart leaps. He recognizes the magic signature as that of the Xishan. “Xiao Lanhua,” he breathes.

What could possibly be happening that she would need to use her goddess magic? “Shangque!” he calls, striding to the window. Shangque runs ahead, leaping from the balcony, and a moment later transforms into his dragon form. Without breaking his stride Dongfang Qingcang steps off of the railing and onto his waiting back, and together they take off in the direction of the burst of magic.

They fly through the air at top speed, Dongfang Qingcang kneeling on Shangque’s back as he scans the ground below. A few minutes later it is clear where they are heading: the Xuanxu Realm lies ahead, and he scowls at the realization. “Fly lower,” he commands. “They must be there.”

Shangque obeys and they sweep along the ground, the dragon weaving among the rock formations that are scattered in the desert. But the plain is massive, and with growing frustration they fail to find anyone among the rubble. 

The Shuofeng Sword appears in the distance. Could they be there? Now without the power of the god of war, it is cold and empty, the churning seal that kept the Moon clan’s soldiers as stone gone. Wind gusts around them as Shangque turns course towards the sword, sensing his lord’s order before he gives it.

There. Magic pulses from the top of the sword, and Shangque sweeps closer. Dongfang Qingcang takes off from the back of the dragon and leaps onto the top of the sword, landing easily on its surface. He immediately spots his son on the ground, struggling to stand as evil qi batters against his magic. “Mom!” he screams.

His sword appears in his hand in an instant and Dongfang Qingcang begins to fight. Shangque, back in his human form, draws his own sword to defend against the evil qi and heads towards the boys. But all he can see is Xiao Lanhua, standing perfectly still as her magic consumes the qi and envelops everything around her. At this rate, she’ll exhaust her spiritual energy.

“Protect them!” he calls to Shangque. “I’ll get the queen!”

Easily he slices through the black smoke that finds him as the new target. With his free hand he summons Glazed Fire, sending his own magic careening into the evil qi. His veins thrum with energy mixed with anxiety. The qi seems to be everywhere, and each time he seems to gain the upper hand, more appears.

“Xiao Lanhua!” he yells. 

Steadily he walks towards her, slicing through the darkness. He remembers the pain of moving through the qi to get to her in Lucheng, but it means nothing if he can save her. The qi slithers around his limbs, trying to find a way in, and he uses Glazed Fire again. But it only works to push it back; it is only the goddess who can cleanse it.

All at once her magic explodes twice as large, then duplicating again; he is nearly knocked off his feet with the force of energy. Dongfang Qingcang plants his sword and holds steady, the wind nearly a fury now with the churning qi and the strength of her magic. 

Then it is gone.

The energy cuts out like a light, and the evil qi dissolves into thin air. The wind dies and everything goes still for a long moment. Dongfang Qingcang stares at Xiao Lanhua, who is perfectly still with her arms extended, her head back. Then she is falling, and he races forward to catch her before she hits the ground, cradling her in his arms as he eases them down.

“Xiao Lanhua,” he hisses, giving her a little shake. “Xiao Lanhua!”

Her eyes are open, but unfocused. She blinks, wincing, and he peers into her face as her vision seems to clear. With a sudden sob she reaches out, pulling herself up as her arms go around his neck. “I’m sorry,” she sobs. “I’m so sorry.”

Dongfang Qingcang holds her tightly, letting her cry. “It’s okay,” he whispers against her hair. “You saved us.”

“No, no…” Her voice turns to a whine as she chokes on her tears. “I didn’t want to, I didn’t…”

“What?” He eases her back, brushing the hair from her face. It is too easy to think about how she had died in his arms, just like this. She can’t be dying, not again. “Xiao Lanhua,” Dongfang Qingcang murmurs. “You did, you stopped the qi.”

Xiao Lanhua clings to his robes, as if she would drown otherwise. “I didn’t want to,” she says. “Don’t you see? I didn’t want to die, and now… He’s used that to come back, he…”

She goes limp in his arms, and Dongfang Qingcang’s eyes go wide. “Xiao Lanhua! Xiao Lanhua!” He gives her a little shake but her eyes do not open. “Wake up, please wake up!”

He looks up for help, but there is none to be had. Shangque stands several feet away, both of their sons flanking each side. Yucheng looks terrified, tears on his cheeks as he watches them. “Mom! Mom! What’s wrong with her?”

Hearing Yucheng’s panic snaps him from his own. “We need to get back to the Moon Palace,” he says quickly. Dongfang Qingcang stands, easily lifting the queen in his arms. “Shangque, get them back safely,” he orders before he uses his magic to take her directly back to the palace.

There is commotion when he returns, servants hurrying forward to help the king as he carries Xiao Lanhua. “Prepare the bedroom,” he says, “and fetch the doctor. Now!”

Dongfang Qingcang carries her up the steps, the servants making way as he moves quickly to the bedroom. Once inside , more ladies arrive, bringing cool water and tea and blankets. He lays Xiao Lanhua down, pressing his hand to her forehead. No fever, and no signs of injury, so he breathes a sigh of relief. He takes her hand and notices her fingers are bleeding. What were they doing there? He presses his lips to her knuckles, kissing her gently. Dongfang Qingcang takes a washcloth himself and uses it to wash her face, flushed and dirty from the fight.

Yucheng bursts inside, running over to the bedside. “Is she okay?” he asks, nearly hysterical.

Dongfang Qingcang scowls at him as Shangque also enters, dragging Shiqing with him and glaring daggers at his son. “You two,” he says darkly. “How is it you ended up in the Xuanxu Realm with the queen?”

Hesitantly, they tell the story, talking over one another as they explain how Xiao Lanhua wanted to go even though they objected. Shangque frowns when Shiqing mentions she pointedly did not want to involve the lieutenant, and Dongfang Qingcang glances back at her unconscious form. How many secrets can she be keeping from him?

“Mother was looking for someplace,” Yucheng explains. “She wanted to climb to the top of the sword—we tried to stop her, honest we did—then we got attacked—”

“It was incredible!” Shiqing shouts. Yucheng tries to shush him, but Shiqing eagerly continues, “We were goners, I’m telling you! That evil qi had us on the run, and I had no idea what we were gonna do to stop it, then, boom! She had a whole light show that was crazier even than the king’s birthday! And then—snap!—the qi just puffed out of the air.”

Shangque gives him a shake. “Enough,” he mutters.

Dongfang Qingcang rubs his forehead. None of this makes sense: of course the goddess of Xishan can nullify evil qi, but what would evil qi be doing in the middle of nowhere? Another mystery to solve, and as he looks at the queen anxiously, he decides it will wait until Xiao Lanhua is awake.

“All of you, out,” he says. He glares at Yucheng. “I’ll deal with you later. In the meantime, Jieyang should be here at any time. When he arrives, he’s your responsibility. Understand?”

Shangque pulls Shiqing with him out of the study, but Yucheng hesitates a moment. “What?” Dongfang Qingcang barks.

“I’m sorry,” he stutters out. Dongfang Qingcang feels a tightening in his chest at the twinge in his son’s voice, but his anger wins out. “We didn’t—I mean, we wouldn’t have gone if—”

“I trusted you,” Dongfang Qingcang says. “I trusted that you would keep your mother safe. Why you would ever agree to take her to the middle of nowhere I’ll never understand. And now look at what’s happened.”

He knows he is being too harsh, but his fear for Xiao Lanhua overrides any guilt. There is a knock on the door, and a servant opens it, followed by the physician. “Now go,” Dongfang Qingcang orders.

Once the physician is done with his examination, they step out of the bedroom to speak. “Her Majesty is resting comfortably,” the doctor replies. “Her spiritual energy has been greatly depleted, and she has suffered some minor cuts and bruises. She should sleep until morning.”

Dongfang Qingcang nods, fighting back emotion. “Fine. Return in the morning.”

Once he is alone, Dongfang Qingcang takes a moment to breathe deeply. He should go find Yucheng and apologize, but his need to see Xiao Lanhua wins out. He and his son can discuss this in the morning, when emotions are not so high. 

He heads back to the bedroom, but a voice gives him pause. At the entryway he pauses, surprised to see Yucheng sitting on the bed, holding Xiao Lanhua’s hand.

“Mom, please.”

His breath is coming in short bursts, and Dongfang Qingcang’s stomach suddenly feels ice cold. He blinks back tears as he watches his son quietly take her hand.

“Do you remember when you used to make me learn the zither?” he says. “I was so terrible at it, but you insisted that I learn.” His voice cracks as his head bows. “Don’t you remember?”

Dongfang Qingcang closes his eyes. He does remember, proudly watching the boy pluck his first melodies, Xiao Lanhua clapping happily at the performance. Yucheng did not have the talent for the instrument, but with her encouragement he tried a great deal, well enough that he could do a song or two. 

“Do you remember when I was stuck in the mud? Then Shangque tried to help me out, but his boots got stuck, so Father came to help, and he got stuck—do you remember? He was so mad but you laughed so hard.”

The world is swimming as Dongfang Qingcang pictures it. Xiao Lanhua had nearly fallen over laughing, Shangque trying not to join her as they pulled each other from the muck. He had nearly scolded the boy, but Xiao Lanhua’s giggles had melted all anger from him, until they were all laughing together. 

“I remember the day of my ceremony. You told me you were so proud, and I wanted—to make you proud—” Yucheng’s head bows. “Tell me you remember.”

“Dongfang Qingcang…” she murmurs.

The king steps into the room. Yucheng spots him and stands quickly, wiping his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he says quickly. “I just wanted to check for a moment.”

Dongfang Qingcang nods. “It’s fine. Now go on. See after your brother.”

Yucheng hurries past him as his eyes slide to Xiao Lanhua. He takes Yucheng’s place at the edge of the bed, stroking her brow that is tense with a dream. “Xiao Lanhua,” he whispers. “Come back to me. Our children need you.” I need you, he thinks with a sigh, staying by her side the entire night.

Chapter Text

Embrace your darkest desire, Xiyun.

“Mama?”

Xiao Lanhua opens her eyes. Her heart is beating wildly, and there is something heavy on her chest. She blinks and looks down, realizing the weight is a small boy, watching her with wide eyes. 

“Are you awake?” he whispers.

She nods. The boy sits up and she slides up on the pillows. She notices his arm is in a wrap, and part of her wonders if she’s gone back in time—is this Dongfang Qingcang as a child?  

“Did you see him, mama?” the boy asks. “Did you see the monster?”

Xiao Lanhua nods again. He sighs and slides up next to her, nestling under her arm. “Don’t worry,” he says. “You said to run and hide, and I did.” He twists to smile up at her. “Your trick worked!”

“Jieyang!” 

Yucheng stumbles inside the bedroom, looking beside himself. “There you are!” he shouts, running over to the bed. “I told you to wait for me, I thought you were gone!”

He scoops up the boy, who protests loudly as Yucheng holds him on one hip. “I’m sorry,” he says quickly to Xiao Lanhua. “We were eating breakfast, and I had to grab something. I told him to stay put, but—”

“It’s okay.” Xiao Lanhua smiles. “So this is Jieyang. I should have known.”

Jieyang wiggles down out of his brother’s arms and sits on the bed. “Look,” he says, holding up the wrapped arm. “I fell.”

“That must have hurt.” Xiao Lanhua glances at Yucheng, who looks at her nervously. “Can I take a look?”

“You don’t have to do that,” Yucheng says quickly.

“It’s fine.” She presses her hands gently to Jieyang’s arm, her palms beginning to glow with a familiar heat. She focuses on pushing her energy in: sensing the muscles torn underneath, she imagines them sewing together, healing quickly. After a minute she sits back with a smile. “All better now.”

“Yay!” Jieyang pulls off the wraps and waves his arm around, grinning up at Yucheng. “Look, Yucheng! Mom fixed me!”

“She’s…” 

Xiao Lanhua shakes her head slightly, and Yucheng swallows. “That’s great, bud.”

Dongfang Qingcang walks into the room holding a bowl of something, and stops short when he sees them. He blinks at Xiao Lanhua, but the silence is broken a moment later by Jieyang, who jumps on the bed. “Papa, papa, papa, look, mama fixed me.” He flexes his arm. “See?”

“As expected.” His eyes stay on her, and Xiao Lanhua smiles. “I didn’t expect to find you both here.”

Yucheng clears his throat. “Jieyang…”

“Jieyang was kind enough to wake me up,” Xiao Lanhua says, and the boy beams. 

“You said to,” he says. Then he leans in against her and whispers, “You said if the monster came, to wake you up right away.”

Xiao Lanhua frowns. How would a child know she was having a nightmare, let alone who it was about? She opens her mouth to ask, but Dongfang Qingcang quickly walks through the room, setting the bowl down on the bedside table. “Yucheng, take Jieyang for a bit. I need to speak to your mother.”

“Noooo,” Jieyang protests, climbing from the bed and holding onto Dongfang Qingcang’s robes. “I want to stay with mom.”

Dongfang Qingcang kneels down, and Xiao Lanhua can’t help but smile to see the way he gently pats the boy’s head. “I need to talk grown up stuff with your mom,” he says. “Go play with Yucheng, and I’ll come find you before lunch. Then we will all eat together. Okay?”

Jieyang nods. He takes Yucheng’s hand and the two boys head out, Yucheng throwing a last look over his shoulder as they leave.

Now it is just them, and Xiao Lanhua looks at him nervously. “I know you didn’t want me to leave yesterday, but—”

He interrupts her with a hug, pulling her into a tight embrace and pressing his lips to her temple. “I can’t tell you how glad I am to see you awake,” he murmurs.

Xiao Lanhua closes her eyes as she presses her hands to his back. “I’m sorry I worried you,” she replies.

Dongfang Qingcang nods before pulling away, sliding his hand along her cheek. “You’re safe. That’s all that matters.”

“Is Yucheng all right?” she asks. “And Shiqing?”

“They are fine. In trouble, and I’ll deal with them in time.”

She grabs his sleeve. “They went with me because I insisted. I needed to go.”

“But why?” he asks. “What are you looking for?”

“A clue. And I found one.”

Dongfang Qingcang’s face drains of color. “What is it? What did you find?”

“Rather, it found me.” Xiao Lanhua clears her throat. “Tai Sui.”

There is a long pause before he asks, “The ancient god?”

“He’s supposed to be sealed,” she answers. “I need to go to Xishan. He appeared to me and—”

Dongfang Qingcang gives a sigh. “You need to rest. I want the doctor to see you and—”

“We don’t have time!” she insists, grabbing his arm. “Tai Sui has broken the seal!”

He hangs his head. “Tai Sui is gone,” he says slowly. “You sealed him away after you came back as the goddess.”

Xiao Lanhua frowns. “I did?”

Dongfang Qingcang nods. “The seal had grown weak and he had managed to come through, trying to manipulate others. Including me.” Xiao Lanhua gasps as he continues, “I wanted to save you, but you ended up saving me with your power. There is no way Tai Sui can return as long as you are here to maintain the seal.”

“But…” Xiao Lanhua’s head spins for a moment. “It has to be him,” she murmurs. “I saw him.”

“It was a dream,” he murmurs, but his words are anything but comforting. 

“No, it wasn’t. You don’t understand…” Xiao Lanhua hangs her head, tears forming on her lashes. “I let him in,” she says quietly. “I never wanted you to know this.”

Dongfang Qingcang takes her hand. “What do you mean?”

Surely he must know by now. He has to realize she is not his queen, that she is not the mother he wants her to be. Would he think she was lying to him? Making all of this up? Would he still love her if he knew the truth? A deep feeling of shame comes over her, her face turning pink as she decides to tell him everything.

“I had doubts,” she says slowly. “Before I used the Chengyan Sword.” Xiao Lanhua closes her eyes, not wanting to see his expression. “I thought… I had thought, why do I have to do this? What if we could just go, just leave everyone else behind and find somewhere to be just the two of us…” Tears drip on her wrist and she quickly dashes them away. “I was weak in that moment when I needed to be strong. I cared only for myself when I should have been thinking of you and all the others. And that doubt let Tai Sui into my mind.”

She feels his touch on her cheek, tilting her face up. Xiao Lanhua doesn’t want to open her eyes, but when she feels his lips press to hers, they flutter open in surprise. He kisses her slowly, sweetly, no fire but only warm comfort. Her lids close as she leans into his touch.

Dongfang Qingcang rubs against her lower lip before drawing away slightly. “You have never been weak,” he says. “You are the strongest person I know.”

“I was so afraid,” she confesses.

“And you did it anyway. You still used the sword, and you saved the three kingdoms. You made all of this possible.”

Xiao Lanhua places her head on his shoulder, wanting nothing more than for that to be true. “Tai Sui is here now,” she murmurs. “He used my doubt to send me here. And now…” She lifts her head and gazes at him in fear. “What could be happening in my time, in my Cangyan Sea? If I’m not there to stop him…”

She clutches his arms, but Dongfang Qingcang still doesn’t look convinced. “What about the other case?” he asks. “If Tai Sui is targeting you, then why would others potentially be experiencing the same thing?”

Xiao Lanhua shakes her head. “I need to find my journals.” Suddenly a thought sparks. “Jieyang! He knew I was dreaming of Tai Sui. He said the queen told him to wake her if she had a nightmare.”

Dongfang Qingcang’s brows draw in tightly. “Jieyang said something similar to me. That he saw a monster, and that you told him to run away.” He takes a deep breath. “We need to talk to Jieyang.”

“Maybe you should do it,” she suggests. “You’re his father, and—”

“Enough of this nonsense,” Dongfang Qingcang interjects, reaching out to tuck her hair back. “You’re Xiao Lanhua, and that means you are his mother. We are all involved in this.”

Xiao Lanhua nods, but feels unsure. No matter what he says, she still feels like she belongs somewhere else.

Yucheng and Jieyang arrive at the family’s private dining room just as the servants are setting the table. Dongfang Qingcang picks up his youngest son and carries him to his seat. “We have all your favorites, Jieyang,” he says. “It’s a welcome home lunch.”

Jieyang beams, sliding down to stand on his chair. “Mom, sit next to me.”

Xiao Lanhua nods and takes the place to his right. “Okay, but sit down like a young man so you don’t get hurt.”

Dongfang Qingcang takes the seat on her other side, leaving Yucheng to sit next to his brother. He notices that Yucheng does not make eye contact, keeping his head down and unusually quiet. “Yucheng,” he says, leaning in a bit so he isn’t overheard, “I need to talk to you about last night.”

“No need,” Yucheng replies, fidgeting with the chopsticks. “You were right.”

“I was harsh.”

Yucheng looks up, clearly trying to mask his emotions. “Let’s just eat lunch,” he says. “It’s Jieyang’s first day back.”

Dongfang Qingcang nods, giving him a final glance before turning back to the others. He needs to properly apologize, but it can wait. For now, Xiao Lanhua is placing bits of meat and vegetables on Jieyan’s plate. “Which are your favorites, Jieyang?” she asks.

“Don’t you remember, mama?”

Xiao Lanhua stiffens for a moment before she places a bit of carrot on his rice. “I’ve forgotten since you’ve been away,” she says breezily. 

Dongfang Qingcang clears his throat. “Jieyang, why don’t you tell your mom about the dream you had.”

“I had one last night!” he says excitedly. “Yucheng was a purple dragon, and we went swimming in the fountain in the courtyard.”

Xiao Lanhua giggles as Yucheng gives a snort. “Some dream,” he jokes.

“Not that one,” Dongfang Qingcang says with a small smile. “The one you had in Lucheng.”

Jieyang’s eyes go wide. “That’s a secret.” He turns to Xiao Lanhua with a serious expression. “I can’t tell anyone, right Mom?”

Xiao Lanhua glances at Dongfang Qingcang before she says, “Oh, well, that’s over now. No more secrets.”

He looks at her suspiciously. “You said it was.”

“Well I’d like you to tell everyone about it now.”

Jieyang nods. “It was a red dream.”

“What’s a red dream?” Yucheng asks.

“It’s a dream that’s red,” Jieyang sighs. “I have them and mom writes them down in her book.”

Dongfang Qingcang leans in. “Your mother keeps a journal? Do you know where?”

“Her office.”

He sighs at the dead end. “Tell us what happened in the dream.”

“Mom was on the ground. She was crawling, and there was a big sword. And you were there too, going, ‘Xiao Lanhua! Xiao Lanhua!’” Jieyang cups his hands around his mouth and pretends to call for her. “And then mom picked up the sword, and went like this—” He picks up his chopstick and pretends to stab himself in the stomach. “And then you fell! And then…”

He sucks in a breath and looks at Xiao Lanhua, his eyes suddenly filled with tears. “And you were sad, Mom. It was scary and sad.”

Jieyang slides from his seat and climbs onto Xiao Lanhua’s lap. As she welcomes him with a tight hug, Dongfang Qingcang can only stare at his son. There is no way Jieyang would know such a thing; no one would have told him, and he is too young to learn about the war. Perhaps some other children told him about it? It’s possible, but unlikely. 

Then how did he know what happened in the Xuanxu Realm that day?

Xiao Lanhua places a kiss on his forehead. “That was very brave,” she says. “Thank you for telling us.”

“Dad…” Yucheng’s voice catches his attention, and when he looks over, he can see his older son looks just as stricken as he feels. “How did he know?”

Dongfang Qingcang shakes his head. “Have you had this dream before?” he asks.

Jieyang thinks for a minute. “No. The other red dreams were different.”

“How were they different?”

“They didn’t have Mom. They had other people.” Jieyang tugs on her sleeve. “Can I have some candy?”

“We need to find that journal,” Dongfang Qingcang says.

Jieyang brightens. “Are you going to find the monster too? I don’t like him.”

“We’ll do our best,” Xiao Lanhua assures him. “But first, you need to finish your lunch.” She pats his head soothingly before pulling the dishes closer. Dongfang Qingcang watches her blow on a piece of meat before feeding him, a sinking feeling in his chest at what should be a sweet family moment.

Chapter Text

Dongfang Qingcang cannot sleep.

He turns and looks to his side where Xiao Lanhua is sleeping peacefully, curled to her side, her hair spread across the pillow. He sighs as he thinks of how beautiful she looks like this, perfectly at ease.

They had spent a busy day as a family, and it had almost—almost—felt like normal. Xiao Lanhua was wonderful with Jieyang, and even Yucheng began to perk up more as they day wore on and their mother seemed more herself. The peace would not last, he is sure. An unexplained trigger could send her spiraling again. There are still no answers to her condition. And with him scheduled to finally go to the third ward the next day, anxiety crept steadily at the thought of leaving her alone.

But for now, he enjoys watching the gentle rise and fall of her shoulders, the way her hands are curled underneath her. He knows how lucky he is that despite everything they are still together, and it's in moments like this that he feels it most strongly.

Xiao Lanhua sighs and rolls, moving onto her back. The coverlet is pulled away, now halfway off of the bed with her movement. Her gown is twisted at her waist, revealing her bare legs. Dongfang Qingcang smiles, sliding closer so he can tug the blanket back into place.

But as he catches the fabric in his hands, he hesitates. He leans over her, his eyes grazing over her body, before they settle on her thigh. Something is different, he realizes, and he frowns as he examines her closely, trying to pinpoint what has changed.

Yet the answer eludes him, and Dongfang Qingcang lays down with his head against her hip, closing his eyes with a deep breath. He tries not to wake her, but the sensation of having her so close is soothing, and he decides to allow himself this moment to take comfort in her presence. When he opens his eyes, her creamy skin is the first thing he sees, and he fights the urge to run his hand along her thigh.

The longer he stares, however, the more he feels she has changed. It takes another few minutes before he notices the marks on her hip and thigh are gone. The skin is perfectly clear and smooth, missing the little silvery lines that had been there from her pregnancies. Xiao Lanhua had fretted over them in secret, the tiny haphazard marks on her stomach and thighs the only evidence that her body had gone under such a transformation.

He knew they bothered her a bit, having caught her staring at herself in the mirror and sighing more than once. But Dongfang Qingcang thought they made her more beautiful, sending a thrill through him that she had borne his children. That she had given him the family he had wanted for so long, this life that he had never dreamed possible. Dongfang Qingcang had speculated the marks remained because they were not from injury, but from giving life. 

Now those marks are gone.

Dongfang Qingcang sits up, confusion drawing his brows together. She had those marks, he knows she had. 

Xiao Lanhua stirs again, turning a bit before settling into sleep. His heart pounds as he watches. Is this his wife? Has she been missing all along, as she has been insisting… But it’s impossible! He knows this is Xiao Lanhua, he knows it just as he knew her in the mirror in Haishi.

Quickly he gets up and dresses, quietly leaving the room. He needs space to think, and as he heads to his office his mind churns with the possibilities. 

First, however, he decides to check on the children. He heads towards their wing, right next to the one he shares with Xiao Lanhua, and proceeds to Jieyang’s room first. But to his surprise, when he reaches the room, Yucheng is walking out with a sleepy look on his face.

Yucheng freezes before giving a little bow. “Father,” he asks, “what are you doing here?”

“I came to check on Jieyang. Why are you in his room?”

Yucheng shrugs. “He couldn’t sleep and came to get me. So I spent the night in his room.” He gives a yawn. “I think he was scared of having another nightmare.”

Dongfang Qingcang nods. “Why don’t you head back to bed then?

“No, I am awake now. I thought I’d find some tea.”

“Then follow me,” he says.

They head to his office, and Dongfang Qingcang sends the waiting servant for tea things and breakfast. Yucheng takes a seat in one of the chairs, but instead of sitting behind the desk, Dongfang Qingcang leans on the edge. “I’m glad we have this time to talk,” he says. “I wanted to apologize for the other day.”

Yucheng shifts in his seat. “You don’t have to.”

“Yes, I do. I was too harsh.”

He tries to catch Yucheng’s eye, but his son looks away. “You were right,” he says sadly. “I should have known better. I shouldn’t have let Mother go. I didn’t protect her like you told me to.”

Dongfang Qingcang reaches over and pats his shoulder. “You did everything you could, and you fought the evil qi bravely. Without you, there’s no telling what would have happened.” He leans back and folds his arms with a slight smile. “And you don’t have to explain to me about how persuasive your mother can be. In all the years I’ve known her, she’s never once backed down when she got an idea in her head. I know better than anyone.”

Yucheng snorts before finally looking up. “How is she? Has she recovered?”

“For now,” he says. “I’m going to the third ward today to look into another case that is similar to hers. Will you stay here with Jieyang?”

“Of course.” He rubs his hands on his lap before asking, “What do you think about the things she says? That she doesn’t belong here?”

Dongfang Qingcang thinks of the missing marks on her body, her insistence that Tai Sui has returned. “I don’t know,” he answers honestly.

As if on cue, the door opens and Xunfeng strides in. “Xunfeng!” Dongfang Qingcang says in surprise. “What are you doing here? I was coming to see your investigation in just a few hours.”

“There’s no need,” Xunfeng answers curtly. “The general is dead.”

“Dead?” 

Xunfeng nods before his eyes slide to Yucheng. “It’s fine,” Dongfang Qingcang says. “He can stay. Now tell me everything.”

“There isn’t much to report, unfortunately,” he replies. “It is just as the letter says, the general thought he was much younger, tens of thousands of years younger. He had no recollection of his family. He was preparing for the first battle of the war with Shuiyuntian.”

Dongfang Qingcang’s blood goes cold. “That happened before the soldiers were sealed,” he says. “He lost that much time?”

“Yes. The doctors had no explanation. He simply woke up another person.” 

“How did he die?” Dongfang Qingcang asks.

“His heart gave out,” Xunfeng explains. “That’s what the physicians concluded. The stress of the situation made his heart fail.”

Dongfang Qingcang looks away in thought. This could have nothing to do with Xiao Lanhua, but what if it does? Is this the fate that awaits them, watching her increasingly fall into madness?

Xunfeng scowls. “There is something unusual about the case. The doctors did a full examination and they said… I don’t know how to explain it. That he seemed younger. His body was that of a younger man. His spiritual energy was not cultivated to the level it should have been, either.”

The words strike Dongfang Qingcang like a blow. “That’s not possible.”

“I saw it for myself. He not only believed he was younger, he actually was younger.”

“But that’s not true for Mom,” Yucheng interjects. “She is the same as she always was.” He looks at Dongfang Qingcang. “Isn’t that right?”

Fear tastes sour on his tongue. For a moment the room turns, and he walks around the desk, clutching the wood to keep himself upright. He closes his eyes as he tries to get his bearings. The memories, the episodes, and now the missing marks… It’s nearly too much to bear.

“Father? Are you alright?”

Dongfang Qingcang swallows thickly. Trying not to panic, he focuses on what he does know. Xiao Lanhua is safe, for now. She is his wife and queen. No matter what she says or how she acts, no matter what is missing, he is confident she is the real Xiao Lanhua. He could find her orchid spirit among a thousand.

“My lord?”

Xunfeng is there, gripping his arm, and Dongfang Qingcang takes a deep breath. “I’m fine,” he insists, knowing his voice betrays him. 

“What’s wrong?” Yucheng asks as he jumps to his feet. “What’s wrong with Mom?”

“She’s the same,” he says. “She’s the same as she always was.”

Xunfeng scowls. “Don’t lie to us now. You know something.”

He pictures her in his arms, dying in the rising daylight. They defied fate already once, could they do it again? Are there consequences to altering fate? Xiao Lanhua had told him once that the heavens do not forgive those that intervene. Could this be his doing, his consequence? Changing Xiao Lanhua’s fate had been the only choice, he had seen it so clearly when he read her destiny book.  

Only this time, he doesn’t know what to do.

“Go,” he says quietly. “I need some time to think.”

Xunfeng hesitates before giving an abbreviated bow and heading from the room. Yucheng lingers, and Dongfang Qingcang can tell he wants to ask more. “Go,” he says again. “I’ll be fine.”

Yucheng gives a curt nod before leaving, and once the door is shut Dongfang Qingcang allows himself to slump in his chair. Tears fall on his hands as his head remains bowed.

Xiao Lanhua doesn’t see Dongfang Qingcang until that evening. She spends the day with the boys, keeping Jieyang entertained while Yucheng watches her like a hawk. She supposes it can’t be helped, considering they are no closer to figuring out what Tai Sui’s true plan is.

After a private meal and seeing Jieyang off to bed, she is surprised to discover Dongfang Qingcang in their bedroom. He is sitting on the bed, looking at his hands, the room unnervingly silent.

“Daqing?” she asks as she steps inside.

He glances over his shoulder. “I’m sorry I missed dinner.”

“Is everything okay?” Xiao Lanhua walks around him, moving to stand in front of where he sits. “What’s wrong?”

He reaches out and presses his hands to the sides of her hips before yanking her forward into an embrace. A worried confusion fills her mind as she holds him close, his face pressing against her stomach as his arms wrap around her back.

“I think you were right,” he finally says. “About everything.”

She strokes his hair soothingly. “I’m sorry,” Xiao Lanhua says. “I wish I was the person you want me to be.”

Dongfang Qingcang looks up suddenly, reaching up to cup her cheek. “You are Xiao Lanhua,” he insists. “Our souls are connected. I would know you anywhere.”

“That’s why you didn’t believe me at first,” she says. “You thought he was gone.”

“He is gone.”

“Then he sent me here to keep that from happening,” Xiao Lanhua murmurs. “If I don’t return to you, then you don’t stop him.”

Dongfang Qingcang nods. “It’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“He’s tempting me now,” she says. “He has offered me the life I want. I need to choose between this and death.”

He stands and takes her hands. “Stay with me,” he pleads. “Don’t go back. We don’t know what will happen… but if you stay, he will be satisfied.”

“He will never be satisfied,” Xiao Lanhua hisses. “He needs a vessel. He’s searching for one now.”

“Isn’t this the offer he made?” Dongfang Qingcang’s voice tightens. “Leave the past where it belongs. Your children need you. I need you.”

Xiao Lanhua shakes her head. “I can’t. What if it changes everything? What about the Dongfang Qingcang I left behind? If I never come back, what will happen to him?” She thinks of him on the bridge, crying as he placed the lock with her name on it. 

“What about me?” he insists. “You are Xiao Lanhua. You would go back and leave me again? Leave me here alone?”

“You’ll never be safe if I don’t face him.” Xiao Lanhua looks down at their entwined hands. “I am the Xilan goddess. It is my fate to battle Tai Sui and seal him.”

“I changed your fate once,” he whispers. “I can do it again.”

Xiao Lanhua leans up and presses her mouth to his. She can feel him tense against her, so she massages his lips with hers. Finally he relents, sinking into the kiss as his arms go around her. She slides her hands over his shoulders and around his neck, weaving the thick strands of his hair through her fingers. Her heart is heavy, knowing they will have to part one way or another. For now, all she wants is him.

Dongfang Qingcang pulls her towards the bed, their mouths moving together in a perfect rhythm. Her knees hit the back of the mattress and she lays back, pulling him with her. He settles over her with another kiss, arms wrapped around her tightly. She presses against his back, needing him closer, as close as they can get. She can feel his heart beating as fast as hers as they move together, one of her legs wrapping around his as his mouth moves down the side of her neck.

There is movement in the room and both freeze for a moment before a small voice says, “Mom?”

Dongfang Qingcang quickly rolls off of her as she sits up and straightens her robes. Jieyang is standing in the doorway, fresh tears in his eyes. “Oh, Jieyang,” she says softly, “are you okay?”

He hurries over and climbs on the bed, and Xiao Lanhua looks at Dongfang Qingcang in alarm when he puts his arms around her. He sniffles against her shoulder and she pats his back. “It’s okay,” she murmurs. “You can tell me what’s wrong.”

Dongfang Qingcang reaches out and strokes his hair. “Jieyang, did you have a nightmare?”

He nods against her robe. “Want to tell us about it?”

Jieyang sits back. He bites his lip for a moment before he leans in against Xiao Lanhua’s ear. “I had a red dream.”

Her heart freezes. “You did? Just now?”

He nods. “I saw him. The monster.”

“What was the dream about?” she asks.

Jieyang sniffles. “It was about Yucheng.”

Xiao Lanhua gasps, looking over the boy at Dongfang Qingcang with wide eyes. He looks stricken, their gazes connecting just as she feels a tear roll down her cheek. “This needs to end,” he says. “We have to stop this.”

She nods, not knowing what to say. She cradles the boy who is not her son and whispers soothing words, fighting away the panic that swells for the family she wants more than anything. But now she knows she can’t have this fate, no matter what Tai Sui promises.

Chapter Text

Dongfang Qingcang strides through the palace, Shangque on his heels. “Have the soldiers ready within the hour,” he orders. “And send messengers to Shuiyuntian. We’ll be checking every inch of the three kingdoms, and I don’t want any interference.”

“Yes, sire,” he says, leaving to hurry and follow the commands.

The Moon Supreme hears his name and turns to see Xiao Lanhua following quickly down the hallway. “Are you ready to go?” he asks.

“I’m not leaving.” She stops in front of him and takes his sleeve. “I need to stay. I have to find that journal.”

“We’ve looked everywhere. Now it’s most important to keep you and the children safe.” He rubs his thumb over her cheek. “I’m sending Jieyang and Yucheng to Xishan. They can stay in Arbiter Hall. You need to go with them.”

“I need to find Tai Sui,” she corrects him.

Dongfang Qingcang shakes his head. “I have the entire army looking for him. When he’s found, I’ll take care of him for good.”

“No! Don’t you see?” She grabs his arms and pulls him to face her. “This is what he wants. He needs a vessel, and he’s tempting us both now. You’ll do anything to save Yucheng, and he knows that.” Xiao Lanhua clenches her fists. “Let me do this.”

“You’re right. I’ll do anything to save Yucheng.” He takes her by the shoulders as he continues, “And I’ll do anything to protect you. Look after our sons. If Tai Sui comes for Yucheng, you’ll be the only one who can stop him.”

Xiao Lanhua’s heart drops. “And you? What if he tempts you with Yucheng’s life?”

“I am prepared for that,” he assures her. “I won’t give in. Don’t worry.”

He presses a kiss to her lips just as Shangque once again appears. “My lord,” he calls, “the troops are waiting for your orders.”

“Daqing…”

“Take the children to Xishan,” he says firmly. “I’ll meet you there in a few hours.”

He gives her shoulders a final squeeze before turning to lead Shangque from the room. Xiao Lanhua watches them go, her chest tight with worry. Running away will not solve any of this, she knows that for certain. “He feels he must do this,” she says to herself. “Well, so do I.”

With that, she hurries to her office. It has to be here somewhere, and as she starts to once again go through her things Shiqing arrives. “We’re ready to go,” he says. “What are you doing?”

Xiao Lanhua hesitates. “Is Lord Xunfeng still in the castle?”

“I believe so, Your Majesty.”

“Ask him to escort the princes to Xishan,” she says. “I’ll join them there shortly.”

Shiqing makes a face. “Really? My dad said—”

“Shiqing, please.” She moves to him and places her hands on his shoulders. “Deliver my message. I’ll be there soon.”

He hesitates before nodding and making a quick bow. Once more she is alone, and she starts to go through the shelves. Without any care she begins to file through them quickly, looking for anything that might resemble a journal. Where is it? It has to hold answers if the queen hid it this well.

There is nothing on the shelves, so she moves to the desk. Xiao Lanhua searches each drawer, dumping the contents on the ground to sort through them thoroughly. She gives a huff of frustration when she finds nothing, looking around the room for some kind of clue.

Quickly she stands and moves to a portrait on the wall. She pulls it down to look behind, but there is nothing but the stone wall of the palace. Two more pictures are removed and examined before she tears down the curtains that cover the window. It is nearing dawn, the sky outside just turning a faint shade of gray. Xiao Lanhua looks outside, surveying Cangyan Sea as far as she can see. Somewhere out there, Tai Sui is preparing to replace their Yucheng with another. 

She turns and spots the family portrait, sitting on an easel. Xiao Lanhua studies it for a moment, her heart sinking as she looks at the faces of the children she might have one day. She had grown so fond of Yucheng, his sense of honor and his strength making him fitting of being the Crown Prince and Dongfang Qingcang’s son. And little Jieyang, who is as sweet as he is brave, trusting her so completely. Even Yijiang, whom she had not met, seems like an amazing daughter, the stories she’s heard from Yucheng fun and inspiring.

And they are a family because of Dongfang Qingcang. Her eyes tear a bit as she gazes at his smile in the portrait. He is as loving as he is kind, fiercely protective of them all, gentle with the children. A tear slips down her face as she wonders if she can find happiness like this. The perfect family, with him. Xiao Lanhua is no longer afraid of death, knowing her soul is connected to his. But what if she returns and he decides he doesn’t want her after all?

Xiao Lanhua shakes her head. Indulging in those fears will only make Tai Sui stronger. She presses her fingertips to the portrait, dragging them carefully down Dongfang Qingcang’s frame, when they slip inside.

She gasps. Slowly she pushes forward, her hand disappearing into the portrait. Her fingertips brush something, and on instinct she grabs onto whatever it is and pulls. She removes her hand and finds a leather-bound notebook clasped between her fingers.

Xiao Lanhua hurries to her chair, quickly opening the book as she plops down on the seat. Her eyes quickly scan as she reads each page, looking for something useful. The beginning is expected fare, anecdotes about the children and notes about meetings. There are lists for various events and scheduling notes for Jieyang. Xiao Lanhua flips through each page impatiently, going through months of writing. Her life seems so peaceful, so lovely, but with Tai Sui lurking in her heart she does not dare to want it for herself.

Finally, she hits a date that has the first inkling of importance:

Jieyang had another nightmare last night. This wouldn’t concern me but it is the second this month that he describes in vivid detail. There is a figure inside of the dream, which he calls a ‘monster’ but looks like a red cloud. Jieyang calls this a ‘red dream’.

I don’t know what to make of them, but I will keep an eye on him if it happens again. It’s possible he’s hearing stories from Shiqing that are keeping him up at night. 

“So the dreams did come first,” she murmurs to herself.

I have received a letter from the third ward regarding Lord Zhihao. It seems he has lost his memories of at least twenty thousand years. His captain came to see me for healing, and I will leave tomorrow at the latest. 

Then, a few days later:

Lord Zhihao is in worse shape than I had thought. He does not recognize his wife or children, and seems to believe the Great War is about to start. He grows agitated when corrected. But the most disturbing thing is that I tried to heal him, but to no avail. This is not an ailment, but something else.

Xiao Lanhua thinks of the news that he had died, her stomach turning. So the queen had actually gone to visit him, and confirmed that he could not be healed. At least that mystery is solved.

My observation of Jieyang continued today. Surely he has inherited the Xilan Seal. Although his powers are very different from mine. We can both mend the living, but there are noticeable differences.

I asked him to pluck a flower from the garden, and then return it to its stem. I showed him first how I do it, letting the magic flow evenly from my hands as I picture the flower weaving back together. Jieyang struggled at first, but then there came a burst of energy. But he didn’t just mend the flower, he changed it. It returned to just a seedling.

Frowning, Xiao Lanhua turns the page and scans for the next entry about Jieyang.

Shiqing broke his finger today and needed healing. I asked Jieyang to do it, and observed closely. Sure enough, the blood flowed backwards into his hand, and the bruise around it went from purple to green to yellow to pink. I believe my theory that Jieyang can turn time backwards is nearly confirmed. If it is true, then his healing power will be even greater than my own.

For a moment she stops, wondering what it all could mean. “Jieyang turns time backwards,” she murmurs. Xiao Lanhua looks at her hand. “While I turn it forwards? Is that what she means?”

It had never occurred to her to think of how her powers worked. But it makes sense: even with Dongfang Qingcang’s tree of emotions, she had sped up the healing process until it was whole. Just like she had with anything else that she had healed: imagining it fixed, her powers must push it forward at a rapid pace until the healing takes only moments.

If Jieyang could do the opposite, then he could conquer death itself.

The patient this time is Yuanwu. It fills me with heartache to see the fairy in this condition. She is the same as the others, lucid at times but convinced she is young, this time barely begun cultivation. Based on conversation it seems she has lost about three thousand years. She insists she must practice for the test and becomes agitated when corrected. Her family is beside themselves.

“Yuanwu!” Xiao Lanhua exclaims out loud. She was there in her own trial. Quickly she keeps reading:

Jieyang was upset when I returned from Shuiyuntian. He had another dream, only this time I had him describe it in detail. He told me that the monster appears like a cloud in the sky, painting everything red. Then he went on to describe Yuanwu, and her home! If I had not just come from there I would never have believed it. How did he see this? Who is this monster in his dreams, and are they connected to the missing memories?

I had thought I should try to have Jieyang heal them, but I am afraid of involving a child in this business. Perhaps if others are afflicted. I should write to the other wards to see if there are similar cases.

Xiao Lanhua continues reading, her hands shaking knowing what is to come.

There are two more cases that I’ve found, and all roughly correlate to a dream Jieyang had of this red monster. It’s clear that Jieyang is somehow involved, but I don’t understand. How can a child be doing this? Someone or something is using his powers to manipulate these poor souls in time. Daqing is away, but I will need to speak with him soon.

Then, the entry Xiao Lanhua had feared the most arrives on the following page:

Jieyang dreamt about me last night. It was the same type as the others, shaded red and accompanied by a monster. I can only speculate at this point what it could mean, and who is truly behind this. I have tried everything I could think of, but I can’t keep this to myself any longer.

He saw me in the Xuanxu Realm, the day I took my life with the Chengying Sword.  He described it perfectly, and I know for a fact that he has never heard this account before. 

I was so frightened I sent him to Lucheng. I pray that he is safe there, and that being with Changheng is enough to keep him away from this so I can figure this out. If Jieyang is away from me, perhaps my memories will hold out.

That is the last. The room is quiet aside from her heavy breathing, and Xiao Lanhua slowly closes the book as she struggles not to shake. Tai Sui had targeted her to keep the seal weakened, she knows that for a fact. But now it looks as though he is targeting Jieyang, using his powers to find a vessel.

She is quickly on her feet when Xufeng enters. “My queen,” he says through gritted teeth. “I’ve sent my nephews on ahead, but I have my own duties from the Moon Supreme—”

“Where?” she exclaims, hurrying over to take his hand. “Where are they now?”

“In Xishan,” he replies with a frown. “Weren’t those your orders?”

“They’re in danger,” Xiao Lanhua gasps. “I thought it was me he was channeling, but it’s Jieyang.”

“What—?”

But she does not wait for his answer, instead flying from the study. 

Chapter Text

Xiao Lanhua races across the grass towards the Arbiter Hall replica. Her feet make dull sounds on the wood as she stumbles up the stairs, calling for the boys as she searches every room. “Yucheng! Jieyang!” Her voice echoes in the empty building. “Where are you?”

Xunfeng is standing on the patio when she hurries down the steps. “What is going on?” he demands.

“They’re not here,” she cries, grabbing him by the elbows. “They aren’t anywhere!”

He shakes his head. “Where could they have gone?”

“Tai Sui. He must have them.”

“Where is the guard?” Xufeng shouts angrily, running for the entrance.

Xiao Lanhua stands alone, trying not to panic as her breathing grows more ragged. “Where could he have taken them?” she murmurs to herself.

There is only one other place she can think of, the Soul-Shattering Abyss. It’s at least a place to start, so she calls on her magic and focuses on teleporting there. Usually her power is too weak for the spell, but thankfully it works, and when Xiao Lanhua arrives outside of the cave she falls to her knees, her body shaking from the effort.

After several moments she manages to climb to her feet, stumbling towards the entrance. Gripping the rock on either side she hurries down the crude staircase carved in the stone until she reaches the inside of the cave. The torches are lit around a table in the center, where Jieyang sits, his face streaked with tears.

“Jieyang!” she exclaims, hurrying towards him. But Yucheng steps in between them, his sword drawn, and she stops short. 

“Yucheng,” Xiao Lanhua says slowly, “I’m so glad I’ve found you.”

“You’re not my mother,” he accuses. “Are you?”

Xiao Lanhua swallows thickly before shaking her head. “No. I’m sorry.”

“You’re an imposter. A fake.”

“I’m from the past. You know this.” She holds up her hands in a defensive gesture. “Can you sheath your sword? You’re scaring your brother.”

“Where is my real mother?” Yucheng’s voice goes wild as he points the sword at her. 

“I don’t know where she is,” Xiao Lanhua pleads. “Please, I’ll do anything to help you find her. I want to go back to my own time.”

Behind them, Jieyang gives a sob. “Mom,” he whines. “Mom, I want to go home.”

“Where is she?” Yucheng demands. “He said you came here to replace her. You did something to her.”

“Tai Sui is a liar.” Xiao Lanhua takes a step towards him. “Don’t listen to him. He will twist the truth to get what he wants.”

Yucheng shakes his head, his eyes glistening. “You’ve been lying to me.”

“Yucheng!” Jieyang shouts. “I want mom!”

“She’s not our mother!”

Dark mist begins to swirl around Yucheng. Xiao Lanhua takes a step to the side as she says, “Yucheng, please. Let’s go find your father. He can explain.”

“He’s a liar too!” Yucheng’s voice twists with emotion. “He said everything would be okay. He said you would be fine. Does he know you’re an imposter?”

“Yucheng—”

He grabs Jieyang and pulls him from the table, forcing his younger brother behind him. “This is the only way to save Jieyang,” Yucheng says, his voice going cold. “He told me that you are using him. That you want to get rid of us.”

“Yucheng, please…” Tears well up as Xiao Lanhua’s throat tightens. “Yucheng, please don’t do this.”

The black mist swirls larger, and Jieyang cries out. He pulls against Yucheng’s hand, yanking away before darting towards Xiao Lanhua. “No!” Yucheng shouts, swiping his sword.

A blast of magic shakes the cave, and just as Jieyang reaches her, Xiao Lanhua puts up her hand. A protective spell covers them as debris and rock begin to fall, the Soul-Shattering Abyss crumbling around them. She crouches on the ground as she holds Jieyang close, covering his small body with hers as best she can while trying to maintain the shield around them. Stone bounces against the gold-green light that covers them, dust filling the air in great puffs of clouds as the cave collapses around them.

Jieyang is crying, and she strokes his hair as the rock settles. “It’s okay,” she says, blinking against the sudden brightness. The sun is coming up, bathing the world in bright white light. Her magic fades and they both start to cough as she surveys the damage. The cave is now just a pile of rock around them, and Yucheng is nowhere to be seen.

“Yucheng!” she calls. “Yucheng!”

“Mom…” Jieyang clutches her dress, hiding his face. “Mom!”

“Come on,” she says, lifting him in her arms.

Carefully she picks her way among the rock. Surely someone will be on their way, the blast of magic that had taken apart the Soul-Shattering Abyss large enough to be seen for miles. Xiao Lanhua stumbles, scraping her hands and knees on the rock, but she does not let go of Jieyang. He clings to her neck and cries, his sniffles quiet against her shoulder.

“Xiao Lanhua!”

She looks up to see Xunfeng hurrying towards them, racing over the field. She breathes a sigh of relief, holding tightly to Jieyang as she continues across the remains of the cave. But then a shadow covers the sun, and he skids to a halt just as Xiao Lanhua looks up.

Above them is Yucheng, fully immersed in the cloud of evil qi, the black mist swirling like ink around him. “Give me Jieyang,” he says.

“Yucheng!” Xunfeng calls. “What are you doing?”

He does not answer; instead, he slowly sinks to the ground, stepping towards Xiao Lanhua. “Give me Jieyang,” he says again, raising his sword.

Xiao Lanhua covers Jieyang to protect him, but Xunfeng darts between them, his own sword clanging as he stops the descent of Yucheng’s blade. “Go!” he shouts. “Run!”

Scrambling to her feet, she grabs hold of Jieyang’s hand and hurries as fast as they can, finally reaching grass. She looks behind her to see the two of them engaged in combat, but there is no time. “Mom!” Jieyang shouts.

“We need to go.” Holding tightly to his hand, they begin to run, heading up the rise of a hill. Where can they hide? Arbiter Hall isn’t far, but she knows she doesn’t have enough spiritual energy to teleport them there. The sounds of steel against steel fade behind them as they race across the grass, until the replica finally appears in the distance.

They reach it several minutes later, and Jieyang is red-faced and crying when they arrive. “It’s okay,” she pants, out of breath, and picks him up to hurry inside. 

She carries him to her room, searching for a place to hide. There is a chest at the bottom of the bed, so she opens it and lifts him inside, peeling his clinging hands from her dress. “Stay here,” she says. “I need to go help your brother.”

“Mom, please,” he begs. “I want to stay with you.”

“Be brave,” she says. “Just stay here and don’t come out until you hear me or your father. Okay?”

Jieyang sniffles but nods. He crouches down into the chest and she carefully shuts the lid, leaving a crack open. Xiao Lanhua takes a half minute to catch her breath, trying to come up with a plan. But there is nothing left to do: she must face Tai Sui, now, before something happens to Yucheng.

Quickly she hurries through Arbiter Hall and back outside. She gasps when she sees Yucheng there, blood on his clothes and sword, the evil qi covering everything from his shoulders down. Xiao Lanhua stumbles back, nearly falling on the steps. “Yucheng,” she whimpers. 

“Where is he?”

Xiao Lanhua shakes her head. “He’s gone. I sent him back to the Moon Palace.”

“You lie. You’re a liar.” Yucheng steps towards her, and Xiao Lanhua scrambles away. Deciding to put as much distance between them and Jieyang, she starts to run. But Yucheng sends a blast of magic towards her, and when it hits her back she falls to the ground, groaning in pain.

“He says if I get rid of you then my real mother will return,” Yucheng says. “He says you did this because you didn’t want to die.”

Xiao Lanhua looks up at Yucheng, who now stands just a few feet away. “Fight him, Yucheng!” she pleads. 

He stops, clenching his fist around his sword. “He said I had to protect Jieyang.”

“Tai Sui!” Xiao Lanhua climbs to her feet, ignoring the pain in her body. “I’m the one you want. Take me instead.”

You would give yourself to me, goddess? 

“Yes,” she replies.

To save this boy? He’s not even your son.

She closes her eyes and shakes her head. “Please. Leave him. I’ll do whatever you want.”

You know what to do.

Xiao Lanhua opens her eyes. 

She is back in the Xuanxu Realm, the air thick with swirling dirt. Her legs give out and she falls to the ground, pain filling her body. She lifts her head and sees the Ancient Sword of Chengying just a few feet away; it’s in pieces, but the blade is there, and Xiao Lanhua begins to crawl.

Doubts eat at her as she goes. Do I have to do this? Do I have to die? She closes her eyes and drops her head, tears falling from her cheeks and dripping from her nose. Why am I doing this?

“You have to,” she says to herself. “You have to save them.”

Save who? The Moon tribe, the Fairy tribe? The children she will never have, the future that does not exist for her if she does this act? But it doesn’t matter. This is her fate. One cannot escape fate.

She crawls, rocks in the dirt scraping her skin and forming stinging streaks of red along her arms. Her body is tired, her limbs heavy. It would be so easy to stop now, to sink into the dirt and let death take her. If she is destined to die, can’t she just stop?

It has to be by the sword. It has to be.

Xiao Lanhua pushes herself up. Just a few feet more, and moments later her hand clenches around the blade. It is sharp and digs into her palm, surprisingly heavy as she drags it closer. She sits up, pulling the blade with her, looking down at her body now covered in dirt. 

“Xiao Lanhua!”

She closes her eyes. His voice makes no difference, although part of her is glad. She doesn’t want to die alone. If she must die, can she do so in his arms, hearing her name fall from his lips?

“Xiao Lanhua! No!”

Xiao Lanhua lifts the sword. She presses it to her torso, right under her rib cage. “Do it,” she says to herself. “Do it now.”

With a deep, final intake of breath, she pushes. But the sword does not go in; something resists, and her eyes fly open. 

Dongfang Qingcang is there, gripping the blade, blood running from his hand as he pulls it away. He tears it from her hands and tosses it aside, grabbing her shoulders as she gasps. “Xiao Lanhua!” he says. “Xiao Lanhua!”

She shakes her head as the world tilts a bit. How is this possible? This isn’t what happens. “Daqing?” Her voice trembles. “What is happening?”

Dongfang Qingcang looks up, his worried brow going down into a scowl. “Tai Sui,” he says.

The wind stops and she blinks at the sudden light. She is not in the dirt, but on the grass of Xishan, and Dongfang Qingcang is kneeling before her. He smooths her hair back but keeps his eyes beyond her, and Xiao Lanhua turns to see Yucheng watching them.

“Tai Sui,” Dongfang Qingcang says again. He stands, moving between them. “Release my son.”

“Are you offering yourself now?” Yucheng asks. “I’ve already had an offer from the goddess.”

Dongfang Qingcang’s hand goes out, and his sword materializes in it instantly. “You will not be taking either of them,” he says. “Leave Yucheng now.”

“Offer yourself to me,” he replies. “Give yourself as my vessel, and I will leave your son.”

“No!” Xiao Lanhua grabs his robes. “Don’t do it!”

“Yucheng,” Dongfang Qingcang’s voice commands. “Fight him. Get him out of your mind.”

Yucheng laughs in response. “He is mine. He can’t fight me.”

“He is my son, and the next Moon Supreme. He is stronger than you can imagine.”

Dongfang Qingcang steps forward, but Yucheng throws up his hands. “You’ve been tricked!” he cries out. “She’s not the queen! She’s not my mother!”

“She is Xiao Lanhua,” he replies evenly. “I would recognize her anywhere.”

“She—”

“Do you trust me, Yucheng?” Dongfang Qingcang lifts the hand not holding the sword. “Do you trust me not to lie to you?”

The evil qi lessens as Yucheng stares at him. But then he shakes his head, the mist bursting out once more. “No! She’s tricked you.”

Xiao Lanhua whimpers as she watches them both. “Yucheng, please,” she pleads. “Fight him.”

Yucheng looks at her with a strange expression. “Where is my mother?”

“I need you,” Dongfang Qingcang says. “We need to find your mother. Tai Sui has sent her somewhere. I can’t find her without you.”

He shakes his head. “You don’t need me. You don’t even trust me with the truth.”

“This is the truth.”

Yucheng leans forward, his sword falling as he grabs his head. “It can’t be!” he cries out, clenching his fists in his hair. “She… she’s gone! She…”

“Fight him, Yucheng! You are stronger than Tai Sui!”

Yucheng falls to his knees as the evil qi grows. He gives a shout, falling forward on his hands, and with a final yell the evil qi explodes outwards. Xiao Lanhua holds up her arm to shield herself, and when she can finally see, Tai Sui is there, swirling like a red and black cloud in the air.

Jieyang’s monster.

Dongfang Qingcang clenches his fist. Red power swirls and he sends it at Tai Sui. The god screams and tries to attack, but he keeps it from escaping, sending one spell after another.

“Xiao Lanhua!” Dongfang Qingcang shouts. “Hurry!”

She stands, unsteady on her feet at first until she gains her bearings. With a series of hand movements she calls on the Xilan Seal, sending a burst of magic at Tai Sui. It slices through the cloud and the god shouts, the roar growing louder and louder until suddenly the cloud disappears, snuffing out in an instant.

There is silence now except her labored breathing. “Yucheng,” she whispers, and she and Dongfang Qingcang hurry over to where he is laying in the grass.

Dongfang Qingcang tilts him up and holds him upright as Xiao Lanhua takes his hand. “I don’t know if I can heal him,” she says. 

“What do we do?”

It’s the first time she’s heard him close to panic; the idea of Dongfang Qingcang being afraid is as unsettling as it is startling. “Jieyang,” she says. “He’s inside.”

He hands Yucheng to her and rushes back into Arbiter Hall. Xiao Lanhua takes the opportunity to check his breathing, smoothing the damp hair back from his brow. She feels a tug at her heart for the boy that could be her son one day, wishing that she could somehow be his mother after all.

Dongfang Qingcang returns carrying Jieyang. He clutches his father fearfully but when he kneels down, Jieyang grabs Yucheng’s arm. “Mom? Is he okay?”

“He will be.” She smiles at Jieyang and takes his other hand. “Can you help me?”

Jieyang nods excitedly. She watches as he closes his eyes, muttering something to himself. Magic glows from his palms, and Xiao Lanhua watches in fascination as the wounds clot and close and the bruises on his arms and neck fade away. It is just as the queen had described it in her journal, as if Yucheng’s body was moving backwards in time until the point he is no longer injured.

Yucheng opens his eyes and sits up. “What happened?” he cries. He turns to Dongfang Qingcang with tears on his lashes. “What did I do?”

“It’s okay,” Dongfang Qingcang replies, pressing a hand to his shoulder. “You fought bravely.”

“Uncle… he’s hurt…” Yucheng holds his head in one hand. “What have I done?”

Soldiers begin to arrive, including Shangque, who races over to the royal family. “Sire!” he exclaims, giving a salute. “The Soul-Shattering Abyss is gone!”

“Take soldiers and find my brother,” Dongfang Qingcang says. “Bring him to Arbiter Hall so the prince can heal him.”

Shangque affirms his orders and hurries away. They help Yucheng to stand, and he leans on Dongfang Qingcang for a moment before he can do it on his own. “I’m sorry,” he says, the tears starting to fall. “He told me… so many things…”

“You fought him in the end. That’s all that matters.” 

Dongfang Qingcang pulls Yucheng into a hug, and Jieyang wraps his arms around Xiao Lanhua’s leg. “I healed him, mama,” he says.

“You did an excellent job.” She kneels down and kisses his cheek. “You were very brave. And very good to listen and hide.”

The soldiers return with Xunfeng, carrying him inside. “Come, Jieyang,” Dongfang Qingcang says as he lifts the boy. “Will you heal your uncle too?”

“Yup!” 

The Moon Supreme strides towards Arbiter Hall carrying Jieyang, leaving Yucheng with Xiao Lanhua. He turns to her with a worried expression. “I’m sorry,” he quickly says. “You’re not a liar.”

Xiao Lanhua smiles. “It’s okay. I understand how scared you must have been. I was scared too.”

Yucheng wraps his arms around her in a fierce hug, which she returns. “I’m sorry for everything, Mom,” he says, pressing his face to her shoulder as she holds him tighter.

Chapter Text

Xiao Lanhua wakes with something pressed against her back. Slowly she turns, smiling when she sees it is Jieyang. He had spent the night in their bed, still afraid and tired and needing the comfort of his parents.

On the other side, Dongfang Qingcang stirs, his eyes blinking open before he turns to look at her. They share a smile before he checks on Jieyang, sighing when he is assured his son is fine.

“Good morning,” he whispers.

“Good morning.”

“Do you feel alright?”

Xiao Lanhua nods. There is some soreness from the events of the day before, but nothing that a warm bath and some tea couldn’t solve. For now, she is content to snuggle against Jieyang, reaching over to weave her fingers through Dongfang Qingcang’s. The two lay in the quiet, enjoying the company and peace of the moment.

It won’t last, she knows. There is an unspoken question that still remains between them, and after facing Tai Sui, Xiao Lanhua knows in her heart she has her answer.

Jieyang wakes a short time later, and while Dongfang Qingcang takes him back to his room to dress, Xiao Lanhua goes to arrange their breakfast. But when she reaches the family dining room, there are voices inside, and she pauses for a moment to listen.

“She’s just like mom, but not exactly. You’ll see. It’s hard to describe.”

“I should have been here,” an unfamiliar voice says. “Why didn’t you write to me, Yucheng? I would have come to help.”

“I thought we had it handled.” Yucheng’s tone is sad. “Until I went and… I caused so much damage. She might hate me.”

The other voice groans. “You worry too much. If she’s anything like mom, then she’ll forgive you. It wasn’t your fault.”

“At least I didn’t hurt Jieyang,” he sighs. 

Xiao Lanhua clears her throat before stepping inside. Yucheng stands immediately from where he is sitting, and next to him is a pretty young woman with long, dark hair and a round face. She slowly stands, her eyes going wide as she looks Xiao Lanhua up and down. “Mom?”

“This is Yijiang,” Yucheng says quickly. “She just arrived this morning.”

“I…” Yijiang gives a nervous laugh. “It’s nice to meet you?”

Xiao Lanhua smiles. “I’m glad you’re here, Yijiang.” She moves towards the table, but stops to give Yucheng a hug. “I’m glad to see you’re okay,” she murmurs.

Yucheng nods against her shoulder. He looks at her with concern, but Xiao Lanhua presses a palm to his cheek. “Jieyang is fine, by the way. So am I.”

“What I did yesterday—”

“Was under the influence of a powerful god,” Xiao Lanhua interrupts. “A god that you managed to defeat in the end. I’m very proud of you.”

Yucheng looks strickent, but Yijiang grabs his arm. “That’s what I keep telling him,” she laughs.

Xiao Lanhua grins, and together they sit as the servants bring out dishes and tea. Xiao Lanhua asks Yijiang about her travels, and the girl shares the things she is learning in the north and describes her cultivation. She really is beautiful, her eyes bright and smile genuine as they talk, and Xiao Lanhua feels as though they have been friends for years.

A few minutes later Dongfang Qingcang arrives with Jieyang, who exclaims happily as he runs for his sister. “Yijiang! Yijiang!” he exclaims, jumping on her lap with a laugh.

“There you are,” she says happily, giving him a hug. Then she stands and gives a short bow to Dongfang Qingcang. “Father, I hope you don’t mind—”

He cuts her off with a firm embrace, and Xiao Lanhua can't help her smile as she watches them. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you,” he says as he finally pulls away. He presses a hand to Jieyang’s head as he smiles around at them. “We’re finally back together. Let’s celebrate.”

The breakfast is a lively affair as the siblings talk and squabble together, Dongfang Qingcang’s laugh erupting as he listens to their stories. It is a lovely morning, and Xiao Lanhua is quiet through most of it, only speaking when she is asked a direct question. Mostly she wants to bask in the happiness of their little family while she can, knowing it will not last.

Shangque arrives with the morning briefing, and gives them an update on Xishan. The cave is still in rubble, and he glances at Xiao Lanhua as he describes the destruction. “We wait for the goddess’ command before digging out the Soul-Shattering Abyss.”

“Just leave it for now,” Dongfang Qingcang says. “We’ll go survey it personally first. How is Xunfeng?”

Shangque reports that his injuries had been minor, and were healed with Jieyang’s help. Yucheng looks visibly relieved, sinking into his chair at the news. Yijiang pats his shoulder. “Can you tell uncle I’d like to speak to him later?” he asks. “I need to apologize.”

Dongfang Qingcang dismisses Shangque, and the rest of the breakfast is more reserved, the joyful conversation turning quieter. 

Xiao Lanhua looks around the table, thinking, Yucheng and Jieyang had been so easy to love. They are both so much like Dongfang Qingcang in their own way, their smiles and cheerfulness making her feel like a part of this family. The carefree happiness and stubborn opinions were so easy to want. And now with Yijiang, who reminds her of herself: or rather, a version of herself she wants to be, wishes she could be. She feels a connection to this princess, this proud and powerful girl. 

For the first time, Xiao Lanhua feels more than just curious about the years she has missed. She feels an undeniable need for them, wanting those experiences and the loss of them feeling bitter on her tongue. There is a searing burn in her chest at the idea, jealousy at the queen she is not.

It is all clear now: she wants Dongfang Qingcang, to marry him, to wear the dress in her closet and the necklace he had commissioned, see for herself the way he looked at her when they took their vows. She wants to have his children, feel them growing inside her body, to hold them and hear their first cries and know, without any doubt, that they belong to her. She needs to watch them grow up and teach Yucheng his table manners and Jieyang how to heal and marvel at the way Yijiang wields a sword.

“I need to go back,” she says.

The conversation stops as they look at her. “What?” Dongfang Qingcang asks.

“I have to go back,” Xiao Lanhua repeats. Her eyes move between Yucheng and Yijiang. “You understand, don’t you? I don’t want to leave, but I have to.”

“Mom—”

“The queen is waiting for you,” she says. “She needs her family. And so do I.”

She finally looks at Dongfang Qingcang. His expression is pure confusion, and when he shakes his head her heart sinks. “No, you… you’re here, with us. I thought we agreed on that.”

“She needs you,” Xiao Lanhua whispers.

“I need you.”

“She’s looking for you. She’s waiting, somewhere, wanting you to find her. She’s doing everything to get back to you—”

“You don’t know that—”

“If I am the queen, then I do!” Xiao Lanhua exclaims. “That’s exactly what I’d be doing: everything in my power to get back to my family. My being here is stopping it.” She swallows and looks around at the children. “Your mother loves you. I love you. And I need to get back to my own family.”

Yucheng nods, his eyes bright with tears. Yijiang is watching her father carefully, but Jieyang just smiles. “It’s okay, Mama!” he says cheerfully. “We’ll find you.”

She blinks at him. “What?”

“You knew?” Yucheng asks. “This whole time?”

Jieyang nods. “You can go back, it’s okay.” He shrugs. “Mom was never good at hide and seek. We’ll find her.”

She chuckles, feeling her lashes get wet. Then she braves a look at Dongfang Qingcang, who is staring at her with unbelieving eyes. “You can’t leave us,” he says, his voice breaking.

Xiao Lanhua smiles sadly. “You said you’d always find me. That you would know me among a thousand flowers. You’ll see me again, I know it.”

He stands and moves towards her, pulling her up and into a firm hug. Xiao Lanhua puts her arms around him, holding tightly to his robes: not just her husband, not just the man she loves, but her past and present and future. She can feel him shaking in her arms, and she strokes his hair comfortingly. “I’m not afraid,” she whispers. “I know this is the right thing to do.”

Dongfang Qingcang pulls back, pressing his lips to hers. Her tears start to fall then, and he cradles her face as he presses his forehead to hers. “Thank you,” Xiao Lanhua says.

“How?” His breath stutters. 

She gives him a final squeeze before turning to Jieyang. “Can you help?”

Jieyang nods. “I can fix it.”

“I know you can.” She moves from Dongfang Qingcang’s embrace to hold out her arms to Jieyang, who slides from his chair and hurries into her hug. “Do you know how much I love you?” she says.

“Uh huh.” 

She presses a kiss to his cheek. “If you fix this, I’ll be going away. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. We’ll find Mom.” He glances over at his siblings. “Yucheng and Yijiang will help, won’t you?”

Xiao Lanhua straightens. Yucheng moves towards her, and they hug as well as she presses a kiss to his temple. “I’m so proud of you,” she murmurs. 

He nods, crying quietly. Then she holds out an arm to Yijiang, who joins their hug with a whimper. “We’ll find you, I swear,” she says.

She steps back, taking in the two oldest for the last time. Jieyang takes her hand and she looks down at him. “Are you ready?”

“Wait.”

Dongfang Qingcang’s shoulders are slumped, his eyes red. But Xiao Lanhua only smiles. “You’ll find me,” she says. “I know you will.”

It hurts to see him like this, but it only makes her resolve stronger. He takes her other hand, squeezing it tightly. “What do we do?”

“Do you remember your dream about me, Jieyang?” she asks, and he nods. “Send me back there.”

He nods and closes his eyes, and so does she. Dread suddenly fills her heart, afraid for a moment of being back there, where death awaits her. But she hears his voice, I love you, and her fear melts away as the world around her begins to change.

Jieyang’s energy passes through her, and she feels a pull; suddenly her stomach is churning, her body aching and she can feel the sword piercing her body. Xiao Lanhua cries out, clutching at Jieyang’s hands. But they are gone, and she is falling, the light in the room getting brighter and brighter until it fills her body.

Xiao Lanhua!

Xiao Lanhua wakes up.

His voice is on the wind, and she blinks her eyes open. She stands in a field she immediately recognizes as Xishan, pink petals swirling around her for a moment before settling on the grass. 

But this isn’t right. She is the goddess of Xishan now, the powerful Xiyun who must keep the balance between the kingdoms and hold back evil. Magic pulses through her, new and unexpected, and she turns to walk, basking in the sunlight. She can do it this time. She can defeat Tai Sui, and no one needs to get hurt.

Xiao Lanhua!

Her sacrifice must be her own. She can see her past, her people, her parents. They lived for generations to give her life, for her to come to this moment. For Dongfang Qingcang, and their future, and the lives of all those who depend on her. For Yucheng and Yijiang and Jieyang too, wherever in time and fate they will live. He said he would find her. She must believe it. 

But fate cannot be changed.

Xiao Lanhua!

She turns to see him there, watching her with wide eyes. He grins, his smile tearing her heart in two, and begins to run towards her.