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A Modest Proposal for the Swift Eradication of the Ongoing Moral Degradation of Young Unmarried Ladies, by Jonathan Swift (1729)

The temptation of a lady to engage in the sinful behavior of unchastity is not merely a personal failing on her part, but rather is a reflection upon her family and the society in which she lives. To allow such a state of affairs to continue without intervention is to condone it and thereby share in its guilt. Yet, little progress has been made towards remedying this issue. We must take swift and decisive action if we are to preserve our honor and dignity before God; for how can we hope to be judged as worthy of Heaven if we allow such wickedness to fester among us?

Among those I have interviewed in my studies of female promiscuity, their sinful behavior is most often committed in a moment of weakness, a brief lapse of judgment, and is not premeditated. If given the opportunity for thoughtful deliberation, they would choose the path of purity over that of debauchery. But when caught in a moment of passion, when one's reason is clouded by desire, such decisions are made on impulse.

The solution that many have attempted, of teaching the importance of chastity and offering punishment for those who transgress, is wholly inadequate to address this problem. Such efforts may provide some measure of deterrence for the more rational among us, but they fail to consider the nature of the beast with which we are dealing: lustful passions which cannot be held at bay by mere reason or fear of consequence.

While it is easy to blame the individual for their own weakness, it is folly to expect every person to be strong enough to resist every temptation; especially when we are dealing with those who are still developing into adults and lack experience in the matters of the heart. To punish them for a transgression that they are ill-equipped to avoid is not justice but cruelty. Instead, we must provide them with a safeguard against such temptations, a tool that will allow them to preserve their purity without having to rely solely on their own strength of will. A method by which the act of indulging in unchaste behavior becomes more burdensome, more inconvenient, to take sufficient time and effort that it cannot be done in a moment of passion but rather requires deliberation and conscious intent.

Such dedication is not beyond the reach of those who truly wish to sin, of course; but it does remove the opportunity for such actions to be carried out in haste, during moments of weakness, when the mind is clouded by desire and the body overwhelmed with passion. This delay gives the young lady time to reflect upon her choices, to consider whether this is truly something she wishes to do, and to prepare herself accordingly. If, after all this, she still chooses to proceed, then so be it; let her suffer the consequences of her actions freely.

But how can we achieve such a thing? How can we make unchaste behavior more difficult for the young lady while not imposing undue hardship upon her?

After much deliberation, I have come up with a solution that is both practical and effective. It may seem somewhat extreme at first glance, but I assure you it is a necessary measure if we are to restore honor and dignity to our society. The alternative, of allowing this sinful behavior to continue unchecked, is far worse than any inconvenience that might be caused by my proposal.

My proposal is simple, yet profound in its effects. Once puberty has begun for a young lady of good breeding, a single garment shall be added to her wardrobe. It shall serve both as an outward symbol of her purity and chastity, and as a physical barrier to prevent the unchaste behavior which she has been warned against. It will be worn at all times, day and night, and shall not be removed except in private by her maidservants when it is necessary to clean and change it.

The garment in question is one that is already worn by those whose innocence, purity, and chastity are beyond reproach. I am referring, of course, to the nappy; for there is none who is more pure and virtuous than an infant who is yet untouched by the sins of the world. And just as the nappy serves to protect the infant from the harmful effects of their bodily functions, so too shall it serve to protect the young lady from the temptations of carnal pleasure.

Should she feel the urge to engage in unchaste behavior, the young lady would first have to remove her nappy - a process that would take considerable time and effort without the assistance of her maidservants. Whereas the status quo allows her or a boy she is with to easily slip a hand into her undergarments or even to simply touch her through such thin material, the thick and bulky nappy leaves her unable to feel any wandering hands that remain outside of its confines; while its size and the way it completely covers the entire region makes it similarly impossible for those hands to reach inside and perform the forbidden deed so long as the nappy remains in place. And as was just stated, the removal of the nappy requires time and effort, during which the young lady would be free to reconsider her actions and decide against sullying her purity.

But it is not the physical barriers alone that make the nappy such an effective safeguard; for we must also consider the psychological aspects as well. How could any young maiden consider committing such sins when wearing a garment so closely associated with innocence? To do so would be akin to defiling an infant, an act that would cause even the most hardened criminal to recoil in disgust.

Having thus established both the need for such a safeguard and the means by which it can be achieved, I now turn to addressing the practical considerations which may cause some readers to doubt the feasibility of my proposal.

First and most obvious is the issue of cleanliness. To that I counter that there are already those who wear nappies on a daily basis, and yet we do not see them suffering from any adverse effects due to this, not unless they are left unchanged for an extended period of time. Just as a baby's nappy is changed frequently to prevent unpleasant odors or skin irritations from occurring, so too should the nappies of the young lady be changed regularly to ensure that she remains comfortable and odor-free. In fact, such an arrangement would offer a convenient solution to the messy problem of an unexpected menstrual flow, for the nappy would already be present and ready to catch any discharge without causing any disruption to the young lady's daily activities.

Another concern that may be raised is that of modesty, namely that the young lady will be exposed to her maidservants when they change her nappy. To this I reply that the maidservants in question are already accustomed to such exposure, as they attend to the routine duties of assisting their charges in using the chamberpot, in bathing and washing them, and in dressing and undressing them each morning and evening. If the maidservants are to be trusted with these other intimate tasks, then surely they can be trusted with the task of changing the young lady's nappy as well. For all other persons, the nappy serves to shield her modesty much more effectively than any thin garment ever could.

Finally, some may argue that the nappy is simply inappropriate attire for any person above the age of infancy, let alone for a young lady who is nearing adulthood. I cannot directly refute this argument, as it is based entirely upon personal opinion; however, I would suggest that such sentiments are rooted in a deep-seated fear of change, a stubborn rejection of progress and a prejudice against the entirety of the modern world. Just because something was done in the past does not mean that it should remain unchanged forever. If we are to advance as a society, if we are to truly improve our lot, then we must be willing to cast aside the old ways and embrace new ideas that are better suited to the needs of the present day - no matter how strange or unfamiliar they may seem at first glance.

Of course, once the young lady has married, the nappy will have served its purpose and can be discarded in favor of more fashionable apparel; for her chastity will no longer require protection. This discarding shall serve to mark the transition from maidenhood to womanhood, and will signify to her husband that she is ready to consummate their union, that her virginity is intact and that she is worthy of his attentions.

I know full well that my proposal will meet with resistance; but I ask that you not dismiss it out of hand merely because it may seem radical or unusual. It is nothing less than what our society needs in order to reclaim its honor and dignity, to restore virtue where vice has taken hold. The time has come for us to make a stand, to take a bold step forward towards a brighter future. Let us not allow ourselves to be held back by fear, by tradition, or by superstition. Let us instead embrace progress, embrace change, and embrace the future that awaits us.

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Interview with a handmaid (1735)

When I was first told that my charge, Miss Elizabeth, was to wear nappies instead of using chamberpots, I must admit I thought that the master was jesting with me. Surely he couldn't be serious! After all, she was a girl of no less than twelve years old at the time– surely she was far beyond such things?

As I'm sure you know, he wasn't joking at all. He had read about how wearing a nappy would make young ladies more chaste and virtuous – something that seemed nonsensical to me at the time, though obviously I kept my opinions to myself. A good thing too! The prescience he showed in being among the first to adopt this now common practice was quite remarkable.

I can't say that I was particularly thrilled at the prospect; after all, chamberpots may not have been terribly pleasant things to deal with but they were certainly better than nappies! With a pot you could just empty it out and give it a good scrubbing every now and then – simple enough. But a nappy? The nappy cloths would have to be changed and washed every time they were used, something that takes a good bit of work. And that's even before we get into all the extra effort involved with cleaning her up after a messy one!

Still, he had made up his mind, and it was clear that there was little room for discussion or negotiation on the matter. Indeed, the nappies had already arrived and were waiting in Miss Elizabeth's room. She was at the moment out riding with one of her friends, and so I went straight up to unpack them while she was away.

The first thing that struck me was just how big they were! I had changed Miss Elizabeth's nappies before – back when she was a baby – but those had been much smaller than these ones. This made sense; she was far larger now, and an infant's garment would not fit her. It still surprised me though; I had never imagined that a nappy could be so large!

I couldn't afford to dwell on such thoughts for long – there was work to be done and Miss Elizabeth was due back soon. So I set about folding up each nappy neatly and placing them into her wardrobe where they would be ready for her when she returned home. I had barely finished putting the last one away and was about to move on to dusting when I heard her voice echoing from downstairs. She had returned and found her father waiting for her in the entryway; no doubt to tell her of his decision regarding her change in undergarments.

From the way she was shouting, she wasn't happy about it. She stomped up the stairs and into her bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her and throwing herself onto her bed with tears streaming down her cheeks. She didn't seem to notice me until I approached her and started helping her out of her riding clothes. Not a word passed between us as I helped her undress from her riding clothes, but when I pulled out one of the nappies from her wardrobe she made an short sound of protest before cutting it off, shaking her head and letting out a long sigh and softly began to cry.

Despite her tears, she allowed me to put the nappy on her without further resistance. I felt bad for her, but there was nothing I could do except help her through this transition as best I could. I sat down beside her and offered some words of comfort.

"There now, Miss Elizabeth," I said as gently as possible. "You mustn't fret yourself so – this isn't anything too terrible."

"How can you say that?" she asked, quite distraught. "Why do I have to wear such a thing? What have I done wrong for him to punish me like this?"

"It's not punishment, Miss Elizabeth," I replied firmly while patting her hand reassuringly. "They're just new undergarments. Nothing more and nothing less."

She sniffled and took the handkerchief I offered her to dry her eyes, nodding slowly and leaning into my shoulder for a moment. I wrapped an arm around her and gave her a gentle squeeze, offering what comfort I could. I didn't know what else to say; I was as shocked by her father's decision as she was.

After a few minutes, she hesitantly began speaking once more – this time in a small voice that seemed afraid to be heard. "I haven't gone since this morning before my ride... " She shifted around on the bed. "I don't think I can hold it any longer. I... I guess I don't really have much choice now, do I?"

It was a question we both knew the answer to, so instead of replying with words I simply gave her shoulder an encouraging squeeze while smiling reassuringly. After another slow nod, she relaxed back against her pillows, seemingly resigned to her fate. She closed her eyes, and just a few seconds later let out a nearly inaudible sigh. I could hear the faint sounds of liquid hitting cloth. As that trickle eventually subsided to nothingness, the room fell silent.

I was expecting her to immediately request for me to change it but instead she simply lay there motionless for several more minutes before finally speaking again. "I can get changed into a clean one now, right?"

"Of course, Miss Elizabeth," I replied while moving over towards the wardrobe where I had placed all of her nappies earlier that day. She watched me as I reached inside and pulled out another one, bringing it back to lay beside her on the bed.

During the change she just laid there quietly with her eyes closed – as if trying not to think about what was happening at all while I quickly removed her wet nappy and replaced it with the fresh one beside her. She didn't speak or open her eyes until after everything had been taken care of; then finally looked at me, gave me a small, awkward smile and said "Thank you" in such a quiet voice that I almost missed it completely.

How things have changed since then! It's been over five years since Miss Elizabeth first began wearing her nappies full-time; now they're just part of her everyday life – something she doesn't think twice about anymore. Even soiling herself is no longer something which bothers her – she knows that I or one of the other servants will always be there ready and waiting whenever it happens. The other girls of high society have begun using them as well – now any young lady of means who lacks one is at risk of being seen as a loose woman!

Some of the new maids come to work already expecting to change the nappies of their mistresses. It's just how young ladies of good breeding are expected to dress these days! Nowadays, a young maidservant's daydream of being a beautiful princess with an endless supply of riches and luxuries is accompanied by images of wearing thick nappies beneath her fine gowns, with maids of her own to change them whenever needed.

To think that I was one of the first maids in England to ever change a young lady's nappy; it feels like such a long time ago now, though it was naught but half a decade. Back then, I never would have imagined just how quickly things could change. And yet here we are today: with most young ladies of high society now wearing a nappy every hour of every day!

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Letter by Lady Susan Birch to a friend, age 14 (1749)

My dearest Caroline,

I hope this letter finds you well and in good spirits. Sadly, I am not able to say the same for myself. I am afraid that I write to tell you of my father's unfairness. He has refused me permission to begin wearing nappies, claiming that it would be too much trouble for the servants! No matter that I have begun menstruating; no matter that all of my friends are now wearing them and consider me an immoral harlot for not doing likewise!

He simply will not budge on this issue, and so I am left with no choice but to take matters into my own hands. Even if father continues to deny me the right to wear a nappy, it doesn't mean that I cannot act as though I do! If the nappy is not there to handle the consequences of my actions then so be it! If he thinks it is too much work for the maids to change my nappy every few hours, then perhaps he would be more inclined to allow me if the alternative was for them to clean up after me when I wet through my clothes and onto the floor below! That should certainly make him think twice about refusing me permission; there can be no denying that the resulting cleanup would be far more labor-intensive than simply changing my nappy.

I plan on doing just that very soon, so that he may see what it would mean for all of us if he continues to refuse my request. I am sure that once I have proved my resolve to him, he will give in and relent. Then I shall finally be allowed to wear a nappy like everyone else!

I tell you this only because you are so dear to me, Caroline - I could not bear to keep such an important matter from my dearest friend. You are lucky that your father has been more understanding than mine; I wish he would see things as clearly as yours does. You were wearing a nappy even before pubescence! How fortunate you are, to never experience what is is like to lack one during those times of the month.

I hope to be able to tell you all about my success in this matter soon - I shall write again once I have been victorious over my father's stubbornness and finally won his approval for me to wear nappies. Until that time, please keep me in your thoughts as I try to convince him of the wisdom behind allowing me to join my peers and protect my virtue as they do.

With all due affection,

Lady Susan Birch

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Diary of Lady Isabella Fitzroy-Smythe (1802)

My wedding day is coming soon and while I await the joyous occasion with anticipation, I tremble in fear of what lies after that. For I shall no longer be an unwed maiden to be safely protected by a nappy, but rather a married woman who is expected now to go about her daily life without such protection!

I am told that this is the way things should be: that the night of my wedding, my new husband and I will consummate our union. My chastity shall be discarded, and the nappy along with it. After all, how can a young lady hope to become an adult without shedding her youthful innocence?

Yet I cannot help but feel anxious at the thought of this! I have been wearing a nappy since the very beginning of adolescence! After all these years, it has become such a natural thing that I scarcely remember what it was like before I began wearing one. I know that I was once able to go without a nappy when I was younger, but those times are a distant memory now. How am I supposed to return to such a state?

In an effort to prepare myself, I have been rereading my old diaries from when I first started wearing a nappy. I was nearly eight years old at the time and my mother had finally allowed me to wear them after much pleading on my part. I was the youngest girl in my circle of friends to do so, and I felt so mature and grown-up having my very own nappies to wear! I was no longer a little girl anymore - I was a young lady, and I was proud of it!

Mother explained to me that wearing nappies would help me to maintain my chastity until I was ready to marry. She said that the nappy would keep me safe from any impure thoughts or actions that might otherwise lead me astray. That while she herself had not started wearing until her thirteenth year, I could start earlier due to my precocious nature. She claimed that the nappies were a symbol of my innocence and purity, but in truth I saw them a sign of my impending womanhood. They were a reminder of what lay ahead of me, and I embraced them with open arms! It wasn't long before other girls in my social circle began to follow suit, eager to demonstrate the same level of maturity and sophistication as me.

Despite my joy at being granted permission to wear them, the first few days were not the liberating experience I had expected them to be. At the time, the bulky shape of the nappies underneath my clothes caused me to feel clumsy when walking or dancing, and actually using them was more difficult than I had anticipated. I struggled to relax my bladder, and when I did manage to relieve myself into the nappy, it always felt like a great effort.

The discomfort passed however, and I quickly adjusted to wearing my nappies. As the weeks went by, I became ever more accustomed to them, and soon stopped noticing them altogether. Using them became second nature; something that happened with any effort on my part, both for pee and for poop. And because of this, I never truly appreciated just how different my life was before I started wearing them compared to after. Not until now anyway - now that I am on the verge of leaving them behind forever.

Now, with my wedding fast approaching, I am desperately searching through those old journals in hopes of finding some hidden advice from my past self. Any hints or tricks that might help me adjust to going without a nappy again. But alas, there is nothing! It seems as though my previous self found it so easy to live without them that she never took note of how she managed it. That she somehow faced more challenge in releasing her urine into the nappy than in holding it inside herself!

I know that living without a nappy isn't impossible; I myself did it for many years after all. Yet I still struggle to imagine what it would be like to go back to using chamberpots again after so many years. Not the act itself, for to relieve oneself is nothing unusual or remarkable; rather, it is the idea of needing to wait until I find a suitable place before I can go. Of having to hold everything in until the pot is in place and ready for use. It is a foreign concept to me now, and one which makes me feel distinctly uncomfortable.

Perhaps this will be easier than I expect it to be; perhaps the transition back to going without a nappy will be smooth and uneventful. Yet, deep down inside, I doubt this will be the case.

For while urination is an unconscious act which may possibly be brought back into conscious control with practice and dedication, defecation has always been a conscious process. Whereas my bladder has long ago ceased to require any thought on my part to empty itself, my bowels had remained under my control - or so I had believed until I tested that earlier this morning. When nature called, I attempted to delay my answer for an hour or so, something seemingly quite trivial for my younger self. Naught but five minutes later, the urge had become too strong to resist and my nappy was duly soiled.

When I brought my worries to her, Mother assured me that she had no difficulty in transitioning away from the nappy herself; but her wedding had been hardly a single year after she had first begun wearing them again. In contrast, I have been wearing nappies continuously for almost ten years now! If including the previous time when I had worn them as an infant, I have spent almost two thirds of my entire existence thus far wearing them!

I love my husband-to-be dearly; yet I find myself dreading our wedding night more and more as it draws nearer. I have hid my fears from him thus far - I do not wish to cause him distress over this matter - but I fear that he will be disappointed in me if I am unable to cease wearing nappies as soon as we are married. We would surely be the talk of society if I were to continue wearing them even after our nuptials; I cannot bear such shame! Yet the alternative, of trying to go without and inevitably making a mess of myself, is even more humiliating!

I could pretend that nothing is wrong up until our wedding night; perhaps even hold it in while we are making love for the first time. But what happens when we are done? It has been many years since I last awoke to a dry nappy; it is even messy more mornings than not. My new husband would awaken to find the bedding ruined by my waste, and I would be unable to hide it from him! How could I ever look him in the eye again after such a thing?

No, I must put an end to this madness before it begins. I will have to inform him of my plight sooner rather than later; for if I wait until our wedding night to tell him then it would only serve to embarrass us both! Better to admit my problem now, and hope that he is understanding and forgiving of it, than to suffer the consequences of his anger once I have already soiled our bedding.

I pray that he will understand and forgive me. That he will not judge me too harshly for allowing myself to fall into such a state. I shall speak with him tomorrow and tell him everything - perhaps he can help me to find an ideal solution to this dilemma! Even if he cannot, I can trust in his love and compassion to see me through this trial; I shall leave it to him to decide how best to proceed.

Chapter Text

On wives refusing to relinquish their nappies, by Reverend Samuel H. Whalton (1811)

Jonathan Swift's Modest Proposal was, as many other such pamphlets and essays were at the time, a noble attempt at addressing the sin of lustful behavior among young ladies who were not yet married. Among the many proposals that were made, it is his which was both the most radical and yet also the most widely adopted. Indeed, nearly every respectable household in Britain today follows his guidance.

The results are plain to see: our daughters are chaste and pure, their virtue intact and untainted by vice. However, as with all things, there is a price to be paid for these benefits – and we are now beginning to see that price manifest itself. For having spent their lives protected by a nappy, many are reluctant to give them up upon reaching adulthood, and demand instead to continue wearing them even after they have wed. Not just during their monthly cycles, where perhaps some might claim it is understandable; no, the nappy remains a permanent fixture of their wardrobe!

Initially, I could not fathom how such a thing could come about. After all, a young lady's nappy is meant to protect her from undesirable temptations and ensure that she remains pure in body until marriage. Once wedded, there should be no use for it!

These women are now fully-grown adults who have made their vows before God. They have been married, bedded, and oftentimes even bore children of their own; they are undoubtedly well acquainted with the pleasures of the flesh. To continue in such a state seems nonsensical – why would they choose to remain as though still an unwed maiden?

Yet it has become increasingly common for these newly-wed brides to insist upon continuing to wear their nappies throughout both day and night. While most husbands have indulged their wives in this matter, considering it little more than a quaint peculiarity; others have refused outright, demanding that she discard her nappy immediately following the wedding ceremony. It is from this latter group that we can see the true nature of this issue: it is not simply a case of a woman desiring to retain a familiar piece of clothing from childhood, but rather that she has become wholly dependent upon its presence!

Should one remove it from her person, she proves herself unable to regulate her own bowels or bladder – leading to embarrassing accidents. In my church alone, I have witnessed three separate incidents of women wetting themselves mid-sermon, and another who interrupted mass by soiling the very pew upon which she sat! And these are merely those who venture out into society without such protection; heaven knows how many times a woman of my congregation has worn a nappy beneath her Sunday dress without telling me, how many come to service and afterwards have returned home in need of changing.

I had initially agreed with those husbands who insisted upon their wives discarding their nappies, believing that those newlywed ladies were merely being stubborn and difficult, unwilling to accept that their days of innocence had passed. I now see that it goes much deeper than that. This is not a matter of obstinacy or vanity, but rather one of genuine helplessness brought on by years of being shielded from responsibility by their nappy.

While they must take some share of the blame for allowing themselves to grow reliant upon the garment, I cannot fault them entirely for doing so. For when a young girl is given the opportunity to relieve herself whenever and wherever she pleases – knowing full well that whatever she releases will be caught by her nappy – it is only natural that she will develop habits based around this freedom. It becomes all too easy for her to forget that there shall come a time when this safety net disappears, and so she allows herself to slip down the path towards total reliance upon it. By the time she reaches adulthood, the training she once received in maintaining control over her bladder and bowels has been damaged and, for some, become entirely lost.

Again, the fault does not lie solely with the individual: it rests also upon those who raised her. Rather than providing proper instruction on the use of nappies as a tool of moral development, many parents have given their daughters free rein to use them without discipline or restraint, as if those girls were still infants unable to control themselves. And thus that treatment instead becomes fact, with those girls' control over their own waste regressing to that of an infant's over the years between the onset of puberty and marriage.

Rumors have even reached my ears that some families no longer bother teaching their daughters how to use chamberpots at all! Instead of that crucial period between infancy and the beginning of womanhood being used as a time for proper instruction on matters of continence and propriety, these girls are instead wearing nappies from birth until they marry - at which point they find themselves ill-prepared to cope with the world without them.

The consequence of such negligence is a new scourge upon our society: a plague of adult women who cannot go about their day without a nappy beneath their skirts. The only way to end this madness is through strict discipline and firm resolve. It must be made clear that the nappy's sole purpose is to protect them from the temptations of the flesh, not provide them with an excuse for laziness in matters of continence. For an infant, nappies serve the purpose of keeping them and their surroundings clean and dry while they develop control over their bladders and bowels. But a young lady is to use them for quite different reasons; to guard against lustful thoughts and deeds which otherwise may lead her astray. To allow her to use a nappy as an infant does, as a means to relieve herself conveniently and without mess, is to encourage slothfulness, dependence, and eventually incontinence.

We must ensure that our daughters learn how to take responsibility for themselves and manage their own bodily functions before protecting their purity with nappies, and we must also ensure that they understand the importance of using their nappies properly so that they are able to cease wearing them without fear of embarrassing accidents. They must remain mindful always of the need to maintain self-control and to avoid becoming reliant upon the garment itself, even as they use it to protect their virtue. If this is done, we may yet save our daughters from this growing tragedy.

However, if we continue as we are now, then soon every bride of high society will begin her new life still bound within the confines of her nappy – unable to leave it behind no matter how hard she tries, lest disaster strike. Stuck wearing it not as a proper young lady would, but as if she were a helpless infant. For that is what she will have become: a mere babe in the world of adulthood, dependent upon the nappy and her caretakers to manage her body's most basic functions.

It is my fervent hope that we will not let this plague of incontinence grow any further. That we will rise to the challenge and ensure that our daughters are able to discard their nappies once they have wed, without fear of having lost control over the natural processes of their bodies. That we will instill in them the proper respect for themselves and the world around them, so that they may go forth and live as mature adults rather than children in need of constant supervision. For the sake of their dignity, and for the sake of our society as a whole.

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Notes between two maids (1824)

I've packed young Miss Emelia's nappies for the upcoming journey to the family's summer estate, but I noticed that there seems to be much more space allocated for nappies than she alone would require. I'm new here, do any of the other children wear them as well?

-Sarah Mayson

Oh, you didn't know? Lady Catherine may have mostly stopped wearing them (which itself didn't happen until well after she gave birth to Miss Emelia), but she makes an exception for the days leading up to and during her monthly flow, when she's unwell, and for when traveling. As such, she will need sufficient nappies to last at least until reaching the estate. More recently, she has also begun using them when she wishes to relax - and no doubt she will be doing just that quite frequently during this vacation!

Of the three children, Miss Emelia is the only who wears them full time, but Master Thomas still sometimes wets at night. Considering the long hours of travel ahead, I doubt they'll risk him falling asleep and wetting the carriage. As for Miss Charlotte, her training is rather unreliable. Any time she will be more than a few minutes away from a suitable opportunity to relieve herself, best have her wearing one just in case. Lady Catherine says that it doesn't seem worth it to try and push her training further when she's a mere couple of years from the age when she is to wear them full-time again anyway, like her older sister currently does.

Yes, that means that the only member of the family who doesn't ever wear a nappy is Lord Henry. I think he's been rather lax about the whole thing, but it isn't our place to judge. Our duty is to serve, and that's what we shall do.

On a side note, it's so wonderful having another literate servant around here! It's sometimes so much easier to write a quick note and pass it along rather than try to find time to chat. I'm sorry I haven't made much of an effort to get to know you yet, but it's been rather hectic around here lately with Miss Emelia's birthday and the preparations for the trip. Once things settle down again, I'll arrange for us to have a chat so we can get to know each other better and make sure you have everything you need to do your job properly.

-Head Maid Lucy Brackston

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Amelia Blythewood defending her choices regarding raising her daughter (Speech given at the Ladies' Literary Club, 1836)

It is an open secret that I have not given up my nappies after becoming a married woman. What is perhaps less known is that my mother, Lady Isabella, has also never worn anything but a nappy under her dresses since she first returned to them in preparation for her puberty.

And so when it came time to raise my own daughter, I found myself in a dilemma: should I follow in my mother's footsteps and spend numerous hours each day teaching my daughter to use the potty when I myself do not, only for all that effort to come to naught anyway when she began wearing nappies again for the onset of her monthly cycle? Spend time which could otherwise be used teaching her to read, to paint, to sing and dance, or simply enjoying our days together as mother and daughter? Or should I instead allow her to continue wearing her nappy without interruption, thus sparing us both the needless struggle of trying to achieve something which I know full well is ultimately doomed to be lost by the time she would marry?

I chose the latter, and I do not regret my decision.

Some have tried to persuade me to change my mind, to insist that my daughter needs to be potty trained regardless of whether she will ever truly give up her nappies. They claim that it is my duty as a mother to ensure that she learns how to use the potty, so that she may at least have the option of giving them up after becoming married if she so wishes. But I know better. I know from personal experience how difficult it is to regain control over one's bladder and bowels after having spent years wearing a nappy - and how likely one is to give up and return to the comfort and convenience of the nappy rather than continuing to struggle.

No, I will not force my daughter to endure such hardship. She is a sweet and gentle girl, and she deserves to enjoy her childhood without having to worry about whether she will be able to maintain control over her bladder or bowels when she is older. She should not have to live in fear of the consequences of being unable to control herself, of having to suffer the embarrassment of a public wetting or of an even bigger mess. She should be free to enjoy life without such worries weighing her down. She has enough to worry about already, what with the many responsibilities that come with being a lady of quality.

Instead, I have chosen to allow her to wear her nappy as long as she wishes - knowing full well that she will no doubt continue to do so even after she has married, the same as her mother and grandmother have done. I am not naive enough to believe that she will one day suddenly decide to give them up without any preparation; but nor will I force her to go through the pointless ritual of potty training only to see her fail when the true test of it comes. I would rather spare us both that pain and humiliation.

I understand that not everyone agrees with my decision; indeed, I am aware of the disdain with which many view those of us who continue to wear nappies after reaching adulthood. But I refuse to be ashamed of myself for wearing a nappy, any more than I would for wearing a dress or a pair of shoes. It is a garment that is comfortable, and it serves a useful purpose. Why should anyone be ashamed of using such a thing?

When nearly half of us in this room are wearing nappies under our dresses, it seems quite hypocritical to condemn those who continue to do so. And yet that is precisely what some of you have tried to do. They claim that it is somehow shameful or degrading to wear a nappy, as if by doing so we are admitting weakness.

But I know better. I know that wearing a nappy does not mean that one is weak or helpless; indeed, I would argue that it is quite the opposite. For those of us who wear nappies, we can last far longer than those who must constantly be on the lookout for an opportunity to relieve themselves. We can read long chapters of books without interruption. We can stay out longer, dance for longer, and fundamentally, we can focus our attention on more important matters than the worry of when and where we may be able to next use the loo. We are not slaves to our own bodily functions as so many others are; we are free to live our lives without having to be so constantly mindful of our bodies' needs.

I will not say that this is the right decision for everyone; I can only speak from my own experiences and those of my mother. But I do believe that it is the best option for my daughter, and that is all that matters to me. I am confident that she will grow up to be an intelligent, capable young woman. One who, like her mother, is not afraid to stand up for herself and defend her choices, no matter what others may say.

And so, when I speak of my daughter's continued use of nappies, I do so with pride. I am proud to be her mother, and I am proud that she shall wear her nappy with confidence and without shame.

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Letter to the Louisiana countryside, from New Orleans (1882)

My dear sister,

I am writing to inform you of some exciting news: I have finally found employment here in the city! It may not be the sort of work that I had once hoped to do, but it is good and honest labor nonetheless and I am grateful for the opportunity. I know that you were concerned about how I would manage when father passed away, but now you can rest assured that I will be able to send money back home to help support mother and the little ones. His choice to come here to America with his new bride rather than staying in Serbia was a risk, but it seems that it has paid off for us all.

I have found work as a servant to one of the upper class families here. My duties are many, but most notably include changing the diapers of their son, who is nearly ten years old now. Yes, I know what you're thinking - "Isn't he too old for such things?" But I assure you, he is not. It is apparently common practice among those who can afford it; they continue to wear them even after reaching adulthood! Other servants handle changes for the rest of the family, but the boy's care had previously been in the hands of his nanny, who has now retired. As he is now old enough to otherwise not need the constant attention of a nanny, they have hired me instead.

It is only a small part of my duties - I also clean rooms, run errands around town, and provide general assistance to the family. If he needs a change while I'm away, another servant will take care of him. But if I am available, then it falls to me to change his diaper. I never thought I would be changing diapers for someone so old, but here I am doing just that. It's not so bad really; he is a sweet boy and I enjoy taking care of him.

It's not just him; they are a kind family overall, and I am grateful for the chance to serve them. Still, for all that I appreciate this job they have given me, the sheer difference between how they live and how we grew up is something of a shock. While we must struggle and scrape to get by, they can afford to indulge in all manner of extravagances. I suppose that is just the way things; but it is still something that I struggle to understand.

We see diapers as something only a baby should wear, but they see them as a status symbol. Something that sets them apart from the rest of society. When I first saw their diapers, I thought it was odd; but now I realize that it is simply how things are done here. One way among many to show that they are important, and are to be treated with respect.

With some time to observe it up close I even see why they might choose to do so even if it weren't expected of them. After all, it is far more convenient than having to use an outhouse, or even the fancy flush toilets that our wealthier neighbors have talked of installing in their homes. Instead, these rich folk can relieve themselves in any location, at any time, without any worries.

It must be nice to have to be able to wear a diaper and thus never have to think about finding a place to go when nature calls. Of course, such a luxury comes at a cost - for while it is certainly more convenient for them, it does impose a significant burden upon us servants. Not only must we change them whenever they are wet or dirty, but we must also ensure that there is always a fresh supply of clean diapers on hand. This requires us to spend hours each day washing, drying, and folding them - no small task when one considers how many such garments are used every day by a single person, let alone an entire family!

But I suppose that is why they have servants in the first place, isn't it? To take care of all the dirty work so they can go about their lives without having to worry about such things. To be clear, I am not complaining - I am not alone in my duties, and I am paid well for my work. Those diapers are why this job exists and thus why I am able to provide for you and the rest of the family.

I suppose you might question if the smell of it all is not unbearable, but I can assure you that it is not as bad as you might think. While it is certainly noticeable when one of them has soiled their diaper, and the changing room smells quite strongly while in use, on the whole I do not find it overly offensive. Most of the smell is masked by the perfumes and powders that they use. Well, that and the general stink of the city - itself enough to make one's nose grow numb from the overpowering stench of so many people packed together!

I must go now; the boy is due for a change. I will write again soon, but in the meantime please know that I am doing well here and that I am working hard to send money back to help support the family. I miss you all dearly and hope that one day I may be able to return home to see you again.

Your loving brother,
William

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Guide to Attendance at Lydstone Academy (1893)

Welcome to Lydstone Academy, the finest secondary school in all of Virginia! We are pleased to have you as a student and hope that your time here will prove both enjoyable and educational.

This guide contains important information regarding our rules and expectations. We ask that you familiarize yourself with its contents before beginning classes. An abbreviated summary follows, but please read the entire guide carefully as failure to comply may result in disciplinary action being taken against you, even if you were unaware of the rule in question.

Behavior: Students are expected to conduct themselves at all times in a manner befitting the high standards of this prestigious institution. Rude behavior or disrespectful language towards other students or the staff will not be tolerated under any circumstances. Those caught engaging in such activities will face consequences ranging from detention to expulsion depending on severity of offense committed.

Dress Code: A school uniform will be given to you upon arrival at campus. However, wearing it to class is optional. Unlike many similar institutions, we allow for individual tastes in fashion choices provided they remain modest enough not to offend fellow peers or faculty members. However, we wish to remind you that students are not allowed to leave classrooms during lessons, and should dress accordingly.

Personal Attendants: Every student is encouraged to bring a servant to assist them with various tasks such as carrying books between classes, opening doors, cleaning dorm rooms (for those living on campus), and performing any personal hygiene duties that may arise during the day. While not strictly required, having such help can greatly increase one's chances of success here and therefore is highly recommended. All such attendants should be fully trained prior to arrival at Lydstone Academy and should possess sufficient knowledge and skills in order to meet the daily needs of their charge. Whether you have an attendant or not, failure to maintain proper cleanliness shall result in disciplinary measures being taken against you. These requirements are strict, yet must be met - even if this requires your attendant to check your diaper between lessons, as some of our past students have found to be necessary.

Hygiene Facilities: Our campus features modern and luxurious changing rooms located conveniently throughout the premises where students may be changed between classes or during breaks. These rooms are equipped with all necessary supplies including clean diapers, wipes, creams, etc. Each room also features a changing table with a soft surface for maximum comfort during diaper changes so even those who prefer their own personal supplies will find using these facilities a pleasant experience. Additionally, at the north end of campus is a lavatory which is open to all those who use them - you will be the one held responsible should you prevent your attendant from using it when necessary.

All necessary educational materials will be provided by your instructors and are covered in full by your tuition fees, so there is no need to bring books or other supplies from home. We trust that you will find our campus to be the perfect environment for furthering your education and encourage you to take full advantage of all that it offers.

Full details regarding rules and expectations can be found in the following pages. If you have any questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact us directly. On behalf of the staff and faculty here at Lydstone Academy, we wish you the best of luck and look forward to helping you flourish during your time here!

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Diary of Sarah Trentwood of New York - Recently Impoverished Mother of Three (1931)

When my husband took my hand in marriage nearly twenty years ago, I was filled with joy that he still loved me - his humble childhood sweetheart - despite having since become a wealthy businessman. I had never expected to be remembered by him after he left to pursue his fortune, nor did I ever imagine that one day I would have the privilege of wearing the garments of a proper lady. But there I was, standing before the altar, dressed in a beautiful gown and with a freshly changed diaper between my legs - the first of many I would wear over the course of our marriage.

It is strange now to think back on those early days of our union, when I felt so awkward about using my diaper. The servants who attended to me were always so kind and understanding, yet still I often found myself holding my bladder in fear before my husband would remind me to relax and enjoy the luxury of not worrying about such matters.

How I wish I had not listened to him then! For had I known what awaited us down the road, perhaps I would have held onto those feelings of discomfort.

But alas, the passing years wore away any trace of that sentiment until relieving myself into my diapers seemed as natural as breathing itself. Our children had been raised with the expectation that they too would always have a diaper to rely upon, never to be burdened by the responsibilities of managing their waste, nor to be left wanting a change for any length of time. Our eldest is now sixteen and she has yet to experience the sensation of a bladder emptying or a bowel movement without the soft padding of a diaper there to catch it all.

When the stock market crashed two years ago, we were not overly concerned; we had plenty of savings and a thriving business to keep us afloat. When clients stopped coming and the profits dried up, we remained certain that we could weather the downturn. When the bank with the majority of our deposits failed, however, our confidence slipped away. We had kept some emergency funds in other banks, but those were entirely insufficient to sustain our lifestyle for long.

We began to sell off assets to try to hold onto our home and our status as respectable members of society - but that only managed to delay the inevitable for so long. Eventually, the last of our money threatened to run out. We sold the house and pulled our children out of their schools. We had lost so much, but still there was yet further to fall.

Now we live in a small apartment, a far cry from the luxurious mansion we had once called home. We can barely afford to keep a few servants around to tend to our most basic needs; yet we have had no choice but to do so if we wanted to maintain even a semblance of dignity. Our diapers still needed changing, our clothes still needed washing, our food still needed cooking.

The staff is down to just two; both have repeatedly accepted a reduction of wage, and seem grateful for the chance to continue serving us. Yet even with their generous concessions, our budget is stretched beyond breaking point. It seems unlikely that we will be able to employ them for much longer.

I and my husband have begun trying to return to the toileting habits of our youth, but it is proving to be quite difficult. Our bladders have grown accustomed to the diaper, and our bowels fare little better. We have been able to make it a few times, but it is difficult and remains a rare accomplishment.

For all our troubles though, at least we had the benefit of growing up without the luxury of diapers - over a decade of training in continence before returning to their use. My children are far less fortunate in this regard. They have known nothing but the ease and comfort of being protected from every unpleasantness their body has to offer. They were born into a world where diapers were the norm, and they grew up believing that would remain true throughout their lives. How can we expect them to suddenly adapt to life without them? It seems cruel and unfair to do so. Yet if they do not learn to manage without them soon, then what shall happen when their diapers are full and there is no one there to change them?

I have thus asked our remaining servants to teach us the process of changing a diaper ourselves and how to wash them; I had always known that it was quite a chore to keep us in clean diapers but I never truly appreciated just how much work it was until now. Nor had I realized just how unpleasant it could be to deal with a messy diaper until I had tried to change my own. I was forced to concede defeat and allow the maid to finish the job for me - I feel ill merely recalling the experience.

We have learned the hard way why commoners do not wear diapers as we do; for while they may make life easier for their wearers, they create even greater difficulties for those who must tend to their care. We now find ourselves struggling to cope with the demands of their maintenance, yet we are unable to simply abandon them. Lacking sufficient control over our bladders and bowels, I and my husband would suffer many accidents - and our three children, all without any experience whatsoever in managing such concerns unassisted by a diaper, would surely be even worse off.

As I write these words, I cannot help but wonder if any of our children will ever learn to use the toilet. Our youngest, only six years old, may manage it; she has not yet achieved a single success but has demonstrated an awareness of an impending release which is promising. Her brother, now ten, is far behind her in this regard; but he can at least recognize when he has wet his diaper and needs a change. Our eldest, however, has proved entirely incapable of reaching even this modest milestone. Her diaper is regularly checked upon for now, ensuring that she has not yet faced any serious leakage; but all too soon we shall lose our last maidservant and then what? If she remains ignorant of her diaper's contents, then how long will it be before she suffers a major leak and ruins something irreplaceable given our limited finances?

I fear that it will not be long before we reach such a point; indeed, it might already have happened if not for the kindness of our remaining staff, willing to work for far less than before. Our reserves continue to dwindle though, and unless we can secure new income soon, then their generosity will be tested to its limits.

My husband is trying to find work, but so far none has come through. He is hopeful that something will turn up eventually, but I worry about what might happen should it not arrive quickly enough. Our current situation would be unimaginable to us a mere year ago; we have fallen so far and yet there is still so much further to go. I pray that our fortunes will turn around and that our children will be able once again to enjoy the luxuries they have known for so much of their lives - or failing that, for us to at least find a way to preserve what little we have left. Even now they are suffering greatly from the losses we have taken; how much more must they endure?

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The Diapers Dilemma, Speech given at National Education Association conference (1933)

Over the past four years, the number of students being sent to public schools wearing diapers has increased dramatically. Nearly every school in the country now has at least one student who currently wears them full time. As teachers, it is our goal to ensure that each child receives the best possible education - regardless of their circumstances or background. Unfortunately, this has proven to be a difficult task when it comes to those wearing diapers.

I'm sure we all know the reasons behind this increase. Many once-wealthy families can no longer afford to keep servants around to tend to their children's needs, nor the cost of sending them to schools which provide such services. Lacking the funds for other options, they send their kids to our schools, where we are expected to do our best to accommodate them.

Whereas previously, these children could rely upon having a servant there to change their diaper and keep them clean and dry throughout the day, now they find themselves without such assistance. They often face difficulties both at home and in the classroom - their diapers frequently overflowing with urine or filled with excrement, causing them embarrassment and discomfort. While their home lives are outside of our purview as teachers, at school they look to us to provide them with the assistance that they need. Yet we are not equipped to handle such matters; nor should we be. We are educators, not servants. Our job is to teach them, not to wipe their bottoms and change their soiled diapers.

This is not to say that we can simply ignore the issue; far from it! We must find a way to meet the needs of these children while still fulfilling our duties as educators for all of our students. Up to now, each teacher has had their own policy, creating a confusing mess of a situation even within individual schools, let alone between them.

Some have simply refused to allow such students into their classrooms, and think that we all should adopt the practice. That we should make it clear from the start that they will not be welcome until they learn how to use the toilet like all the other kids in our classrooms. While this may seem like an obvious solution, it is deeply flawed. For one thing, it would mean turning away students who are otherwise eager and able to learn. It would send the message that we are unwilling to help those in need - that we choose to exclude them rather than make any effort to accommodate them. Furthermore, this policy works in the small scale only because the children denied admittance could then be sent elsewhere to receive their education - but what happens when every school begins refusing them? There is no place else for them to go, and thus such bright young minds would be forced to go without any further education, despite having an extremely strong foundation of knowledge and the desire to learn still strong within many of them.

Others have suggested that we should teach them how to use the toilet as a remedial class, much as we would teach those who struggle with reading or math. This is a more promising approach, but one that raises its own set of challenges. Properly training a child to use the toilet takes time, patience, and a great deal of effort - all things which are in short supply for us. Most schools only have a small trickle of incoming students who wear diapers, and do not have the resources or staff to provide such extensive support for so few, nor to properly support them until their numbers grow sufficient for such a class to make sense. Especially when these students, while oftentimes the most intelligent, are also often difficult to manage. They are used to being waited on hand and foot, and struggle to adjust to their new situation.

As teachers, we have a responsibility to help every child reach their full potential. We should not simply turn our backs on those who wear diapers; nor should we allow them to disrupt the education of others. We must find a way to help these children to get through the day without incident, yet do so without overly distracting from the education of the rest of our students.

My suggestion is have an official policy of teaching them, not in use of the toilet, but in managing their diapers without aid. To teach them how to change their own diapers, to keep themselves clean. This will not only allow them to get through the school day without incident, but will also help them at home. It will give them the tools they need to cope with their situation.

I am aware of the arguments against this approach - that it will only encourage these children to continue wearing diapers, rather than learning how to use the toilet. That it is a short-term solution which will only lead to more problems down the line. That it is wrong to allow them to retain the habits of their privileged upbringing, rather than forcing them to adapt to the realities of their current situation. While there may be some truth to these concerns, I believe that we must first focus on meeting the immediate needs of these children before worrying about such relatively insubstantial issues. To avoid turning them away from our classrooms, we must find a way to provide them with the support they need while still fulfilling our duties as educators, and I believe that this is the most promising approach.

Perhaps they will find the task of changing their own diaper to be so unpleasant that they will be motivated to learn how to use the toilet themselves. Or perhaps not - but either way, they will at least be able to get through the day without incident. They will still be able to learn, and to grow, and to thrive. And in the end, that is all that really matters.

I understand that this is not the ideal solution, but it is one that is feasible given our current circumstances. And until we can find a better way to meet the needs of these children, it is the best we have to offer.

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Anastasia Romanov's Secret Life in America (The New York Times, 1937)

On the 17th of July 1918, a young girl of 17 years was executed alongside her family in Ekaterinburg, Russia. Her name was Anastasia Romanov, and she was the youngest daughter of Tsar Nicholas II and Tsarina Alexandra Feodorovna. She had been born into a life of luxury and privilege, but that all came to an end with her death at the hands of the Bolsheviks.

Or so it was thought.

For nearly two decades, rumors have persisted that Anastasia escaped the massacre that claimed her family's lives. That she survived, and fled to America. Now, for the first time, we can reveal the truth behind those stories: that she did indeed survive, and that she had been living in New York City under an assumed name.

Anastasia came to America in 1920, after a series of harrowing adventures that saw her fleeing the Bolsheviks who had taken over Russia. She and her loyal maidservant made their way across Europe and eventually found themselves on a ship bound for New York. Once there, they began a new life, keeping their true identities secret from all - but that secrecy has come to an end.

We spoke with Anastasia and Vera Surovaya, now going by the names "Anya" and "Elena" respectively, in an exclusive interview. They were reluctant to discuss their past, but eventually agreed to tell us their story. It is one that is both fascinating and disturbing, a tale of survival against all odds.

When asked about how she managed to escape, Anastasia hesitated before answering. "I got lucky," she said with a small frown. "When we heard the shots that killed my family, I was just finishing being changed into a fresh diaper. Elena managed to get us both out of there and into the woods before the Bolsheviks could find us. Some friendly peasants gave us shelter, and after that we just kept moving. It was a long and difficult journey, especially when I needed a change - or even worse, finding somewhere to wash and dry my diapers afterward! Those long days of hiding and running, with few chances to have my diaper tended to, were the most difficult of my life. It was made even worse when I was introduced to the painful rashes of a diaper that had been left too long without being changed. But we eventually made it to a port city, and from there we were able to get on a ship headed for America."

"We had to be careful," explained Elena. "The Bolsheviks were still looking for us, so we couldn't take any chances. We couldn't let anyone know who Anya really was." They decided to rent an apartment together, to try living a quiet existence far from the limelight. But her secret was always there, lurking just beneath the surface. For while Anastasia may have escaped the Bolsheviks, she could not escape her past - nor the fact that she was still wearing diapers.

"We didn't have a chance to grab much before fleeing, so we weren't really rich enough for it to be normal for me to wear them. I tried to stop, but couldn't figure out how I was supposed to hold like that." Anya explained. "Vera tried to help, but it just didn't work. I'm incredibly grateful that she continued to take care of me and change my diapers, because I don't know what I would have done without her. She's been my rock throughout all of this."

Anya had found a job as a typist for a local law firm, where she faced some troubles with her hidden undergarment. "That first day at the office was so nerve-wracking, I was afraid I would leak. It's not like Vera could come in and change me during lunch break or anything! But then one of my new colleagues - a woman about my age - came up to me and offered to change me if I needed it. She explained that she used to wear them when she was younger, but had to learn to change herself after her family fell on hard times, and only stopped wearing them a couple of years ago. She knew how difficult it can be, and so she offered to help."

That colleague, who wished to remain anonymous, recalled her first conversation with Anya with us. "I could smell that she had messed her diaper, and I thought back to when I was in similar situations back in school. I didn't want to embarrass her, but I also didn't want to see her suffer like I had. So I told her about my own struggles, and offered to change her. She seemed relieved, and accepted my offer. I think it really helped her to know that she wasn't alone in this. We've been friends ever since."

When asked about her thoughts on "Anya" being the lost princess, she said, "I was shocked at first, but then it all made sense. The way she talks, the way she carries herself - and the diapers of course - she wasn't from around here, but she definitely had the same sort of upper class upbringing that I had before the crash. I certainly didn't expect her to be the famous Anastasia though! I'm glad that she's finally able to tell her story to the world. It's been a long time coming."

It has been a long time, indeed. But now, at last, the truth can finally be told. Anya's story is one that is both inspiring and tragic, a tale of survival in the face of impossible odds. She may have lost her family, her home, and even her identity, but she managed to escape with her life. And now, after so many years of hiding, she is finally ready to share her story - to show that even in the face of such adversity, it is possible to find hope and strength.

Chapter Text

Japanese Princess Shisako's public letter, On Adopting Western Undergarments (1945)

We thought them weak - these westerners. We believed their ways to be inferior to our own, their traditions barbaric and unrefined. For a leader - for anyone with any sense of dignity - to wear undergarments meant to absorb their bodily fluids? What an unsightly notion! It seemed so primitive, so uncivilized. Their leaders were little more than infants, incapable of controlling their own bodies, so how could they ever hope to lead their people with any degree of authority? Surely crushing them in war would be simple; it would only take one push for their empire to fall beneath our mighty forces.

We were wrong.

They proved themselves stronger than us. That their ways were, in fact, superior to our own. And for all our supposed sophistication, they had us outclassed at every turn. It took us years to realize this, and by then it was too late. Our empire lay in ruins, two cities devastated by their might and our people reduced to ashes.

We had underestimated them. We had underestimated their power, their cunning, their resolve. As such, I have taken up their ways. I have donned their garments and embraced their traditions. I have become like one of them. For I see now that they are the future. They are the ones who will shape our world, who will determine our fate. I have chosen to join them, to be a part of their future.

And yes, I have begun to wear their undergarments as they do - to relieve myself in them, to be changed in them. It is a strange and unfamiliar feeling, but one that I am growing to accept. I wear my new wardrobe with pride, for they are the garments of the victors.

The people of Japan have much to learn from the West. We must adopt their ways if we are to survive in this new world. We must learn to think like them, to act like them, to be like them. And, for those of us who are privileged enough to be able to do so, we must wear their undergarments - their diapers - as well. Only then can we hope to rebuild our nation and restore our people to their former glory.

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Diapers Without the Work: Introducing Pampers Disposable Diapers (Magazine Ad, 1961)

When one thinks of luxury, the diaper is always there: A symbol of wealth and privilege, it is the ultimate in pampering for those who can afford it - or who used to be able to. For many, it has become a burden, a costly necessity that must be borne without any servants to manage their care. But now, a new option has emerged.

Pampers Disposable Diapers are designed to provide the same comfort and convenience as traditional diapers, but without the need for all the associated labor. Simply wear, use, and dispose of - it's that easy! No more dirty laundry to deal with: just wipe yourself clean, toss it in the trash, and be on your way.

Pampers aren't just for self-care: if you're a mother caring for your baby, the advantage is obvious. How much more convenient would it be to simply change their diaper and throw it away, rather than having to wash and dry it again and again? With Pampers, you can save yourself the trouble - and still have a clean and happy baby when you're done.

Pampers are available in a wide range of sizes, covering everyone from newborn babes to fully grown adults. They are made from soft, absorbent material that your skin will love. And best of all, they are affordable: just a few pennies each! So why wait? Try Pampers today and ditch the hassle of cloth diapers.

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Soviet Intra-Party Propaganda Pamphlet (1964)

A symbol of bourgeois decadence

Diapers are a symbol of the bourgeoisie's decadence. They represent the pampered life of the rich, who think they have no need to worry about such things as going to the toilet. They are the mark of a class that is out of touch with reality, who live in a world of their own making. The Soviet Party must not join them in their disassociation with the true facts of life as a worker.

A sign of weakness

The wearing of diapers is a sign of weakness and dependence. The decadent bourgeoisie of the West may think nothing of wearing them, but such behavior is unacceptable in the Soviet Union. We are a nation of strong, independent people who rely upon ourselves for our needs, not some soft and fluffy garment to protect us from the world. We do not need to wear diapers like some helpless infant; we are adults and we should act like it!

Incompatible with socialism

Party members wearing diapers is incompatible with the goals of socialism. We seek to create a society where everyone is equal and where everyone contributes to the good of the whole. Diapers represent the opposite - they are for those who are too lazy or too weak to look after themselves, those who expect others to do their dirty work for them. They are the mark of parasites, and we should not tolerate those here in the Soviet Union; certainly not in the Party!

The mark of the enemy

The former Tsar and his family wore diapers after reaching adulthood - a clear sign of their decadence and weakness. They were the enemies of the people, and they were overthrown in order to create a better future for all. Western capitalists likewise wear diapers, further demonstrating their parasitic nature. They are the enemies of the Soviet Union, and we must not allow their degenerate ways to continue tainting our nation's governance.

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Market Saturation Analysis (Leaked internal Pampers document, 1980)

Over the past few years, the disposable diaper industry has been booming, primarily driven by users of cloth diapers switching over to using disposables - both in infant and adult sizes. The introduction of SAP has allowed our diapers to finally surpass cloth ones in terms of absorbency, which has made them far more attractive to many consumers. However, this trend is starting to plateau. We are now reaching a point where there are few cloth diaper users left to convert. Further growth will require us to find new customers, to expand our reach beyond those who are already using diapers.

Attempts to target the general population have thus far proven ineffective. Last year's "You Deserve A Diaper" campaign was met with widespread disdain both from the upper class, who viewed it as an attempt to undermine their status by encouraging their lessers to join them in wearing diapers, and from the working class, who saw it as an elitist plot to make them waste their hard-earned money on a frivolous luxury. This failure has led to the cancellation of several upcoming advertising campaigns, and a re-evaluation of our overall strategy.

We are now considering a more targeted approach, aimed specifically at those who are already wearing diapers. The infant diaper market is already well saturated; but in that area lies the key to success. Currently, most children not from affluent backgrounds are trained to use the toilet at around age three. This practice is a remnant of the days when cloth diapers were the only option available, and when the use of diapers required significant labor - be it from parents, servants, or the wearers themselves. Today, however, there is no real need for it: our disposable diapers are comfortable, convenient, and affordable. And yet, the practice persists. It is this area that we must target if we are to achieve any further growth.

We propose to launch a new advertising campaign aimed at encouraging middle-class parents to allow their kids to wear diapers for a longer period of time. These families have the means to easily afford diapering their older children, but do not due to their outdated beliefs about the importance of training children to use the toilet.

Despite their beliefs, many of these parents have trouble enforcing such training - especially dual income families where both parents are working full-time and cannot spare the effort or time required. For them, the convenience of our diapers may be just what they need: one less thing to worry about, one less reason to feel guilty about not being the perfect parent. By promoting the idea that it is not only acceptable but even desirable to keep a child in diapers for as long as possible, we will naturally expand our adult customer base over time. As we have seen in those who used cloth diapers in the past, the transition from diaper to potty training is not an easy one - and it becomes progressively more difficult as time goes on. Those who grow up wearing diapers often continue to do so into adulthood, becoming lifelong customers of ours.

The campaign would aim to convince parents that it is better to simply let their kids wear diapers, rather than waste their precious time at home together struggling to get them to use the potty. To show that it is not only okay for an older child to wear diapers, but that it is actually better for their development to be kept in diapers as their wealthier peers are. Our recent study study even proves as such - even looking only at public schools, diapered students consistently score higher on standardized tests than their undiapered peers. By promoting the verifiable fact that children who wear diapers are on average smarter, happier, and more successful than those who do not, we can persuade these parents to change their ways.

It is a long-term strategy, but one which we believe will ultimately prove successful. A small number of middle-class parents are already allowing their kids to wear diapers into their school years and beyond, just as their wealthier counterparts have done for generations. Right now, they are the exception - but with this campaign we aim to make them the norm. We hope to convince more and more parents to do the same, to see the benefits of our diapers and to allow their children to experience the same convenience and comfort that those from wealthier families have long enjoyed.

Of course, such marketing will not be easy. There is still a great deal of stigma attached to the wearing of diapers by those not considered to be "legitimate" - that is, those who are old enough to attend school, and are neither currently wealthy nor formerly so. It helps that public schools are now required by law to have a room for students to change and dispose of their diapers. While some schools complain that those rooms are only occasionally used, we have high hopes that this campaign will increase that usage dramatically.

If we succeed, no longer will the wearing of diapers among those of middle-class means be viewed as a sign of failure, of having fallen from the upper class. It will instead be seen as a sign of success - of being able to afford the use of our diapers, of having parents who are willing to do what is best for their children. Rather than be something exclusive to those with servants to change them or who had such servants when they were younger, our diapers will be seen as something that every parent should want for their school-aged child. And as the years go by, those children will grow up to be adults who are accustomed to wearing diapers - and who will continue to do so throughout their lives, providing us with a steady stream of income from loyal customers.

In summary, our proposed strategy is to target middle-class parents with the message that they should keep their kids in diapers - both for the proven benefits to the children themselves, and also to make life easier on the parents. By doing so, we aim to increase our customer base and expand our reach beyond those who are currently using our products. The campaign is designed to be long-term in nature, and will require significant investment in order to achieve success. However, we believe that it is worth the effort - that our diapers have the potential to reach a far wider audience than they do now, and that we as a company can become even more successful as a result.

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Public Elementary Schools Face Unexpected Surge in Diapered Kindergartners This Year (Chicago Tribune, 1983)

Ever since Congress passed the 1968 Dignity in Education Act, requiring that public schools have at least one room available for those students who wear diapers to change and dispose of them, they have been used by only a small fraction of the student population - less than 1%. Private schools, of course, often see far higher usage rates given their more affluent students, but public schools have never had much demand for such facilities. Until now, that is.

This year, several schools have reported a massive increase in the number of students who are wearing diapers. Of the five public elementary schools in Chicago which responded to our request for information, all have reported that over 20% of their new kindergarten students are wearing diapers. This surge has caught the schools unprepared, and they are struggling to cope with the sudden influx.

"Never before have we seen so many children coming to us wearing diapers," said Marianne Kearnsey, a kindergarten teacher at a public school here in Chicago. "We're not a particularly wealthy neighborhood, so we've only seen a few kids wearing diapers over the years, never more than one or two per grade, often none at all. It wasn't hard to accommodate them - their first day during recess, we would show them the changing room, give a short lesson on changing themselves if they didn't already know how to do it, and that was it. They would go on their way and we'd barely ever have to think about it again aside from the occasional reminder to change for some of the less attentive kids."

Things are different now though. "Last year, we were surprised to have six incoming kindergarten students wearing diapers. It nearly doubled the total number of diapered students in the entire school! Aside from the occasional kid waiting a couple minutes for the changing room it didn't change anything, so I didn't think much of it at the time. But this year, there were eight of them in my class alone! At first I was hoping it was just a fluke, a stroke of bad luck giving me several years' worth of kids in a single class. At recess, I brought them to the changing room only to find that all the other Kindergarten teachers were there doing the same! Most of them had less than my class, but it was still obvious that we couldn't do the usual lesson, they wouldn't even all fit in the room together. So we had to improvise."

Improvisation in this case meant heading back to their respective classrooms, putting some desks together as makeshift changing tables, and having the teachers change the students' diapers for them. "We just didn't have the time, space, or supplies to let them practice diapering themselves. We don't expect the kids to learn to do so without making a bit of a mess - not a big problem in the changing room, but inside a regular classroom, directly on the desks? It'd be a real health hazard to make them try to start changing themselves, so we have to step in and do it for them."

"It was a huge hassle, but what else could we do? We couldn't let them just go on wearing a dirty diaper all day - they'd stink up the classroom and start leaking all over. We didn't have any other choice. By the end of the day, we were all exhausted - but we'd managed to get through it."

Talking to Principal Barbra Liddons, she admitted that the situation had become overwhelming. "We were completely unprepared for this. The supplies in the changing room were supposed to be enough to last a month, but we were almost out at the end of the first day - and that's with the teachers being much less wasteful than the kids would've been on their own. As a temporary measure I've hired a few extra staff to help with changing the kids, and bought extra supplies to be divided among the kindergarten classrooms - but it's not a long-term solution. It costs quite a bit and even with the new hires helping out, our teachers are complaining about having to spend their breaks changing diapers. This is simply not sustainable; especially if this becomes the new norm, if every incoming class has as many diapered kids as this one does. We would have to become like the private schools, with changing rooms everywhere. I can't see how that would ever work though; there's just no way we could afford it."

We spoke with several parents of the new kindergartners, all of whom were quite surprised to hear that the school had not been prepared for their children's diapers. "I didn't think it would be an issue," said one mother. "The ads on TV and in the papers have been so clear - that it's better for our kids to wear diapers, that it will help them to stay focused and do better in school. I never thought to check with the school about it; I just assumed they would be ready for us."

Another parent echoed this sentiment: "I've heard all about how it's better for kids to wear diapers, how those who do are smarter and happier and more successful. I know we're not wealthy, but I thought that schools were required to have changing rooms by law, that the school would have plenty of them available for our kids. For them to have only one room for all the students is absurd! I feel so bad for my poor daughter, having to wait so long to get her diaper changed. It's not fair to her or to any of the other kids."

Not all parents were skipping on potty training their kids for the supposed benefits to their development, however. Some simply felt that they didn't have the time to spare on such matters. "I'm a single mother, working two jobs to support myself and my daughter," said one parent. "I barely have time to take care of her at all, let alone something like trying to get her to use the potty. It was too much for me to deal with on top of everything else. So I let her wear diapers instead - it's easier for both of us."

"Diapers are just so much more convenient," agreed another parent. "My wife and I both work full-time, and after a long week where we unsuccessfully tried to toilet train our twin sons, we decided to give up and buy some larger sizes. It's saved us a lot of time and trouble, and it makes them happy to be wearing diapers just like all the famous people they see on TV."

Experts agree that there are indeed benefits to children wearing diapers. "For those who struggle with toilet training, it can be a major source of stress - and not just for the parents, who have to deal with accidents and the subsequent cleanup. But also for the kids, who often feel ashamed or embarrassed when they can't hold it in. With diapers, both of them can relax and not worry about it," said Dr. Richard Gorman, a leading psychologist in the field. "In addition, having to stop to use the bathroom can be a huge distraction from learning. Even if the interruption is only a few minutes, it takes much longer for them to regain their lost focus. Having a diaper there means that they can keep on reading, studying, or working on their assignments even when nature calls."

Another expert, Dr. Susan Blevins, even goes so far as to say that the process of toilet training may be harmful to children. "It is often done in a very authoritarian manner, with parents using harsh punishments and threats to try to force the child to comply. This can lead to feelings of fear and resentment on the part of the child, which will carry over into other areas of their life. We've seen cases where kids are so traumatized by the experience that they develop severe behavioral problems later on. Diapers, on the other hand, offer a much more relaxed and comfortable way to go about things. Until recently, only the wealthier families could afford to let their children wear them. It is wonderful to see that more and more children are now being given the opportunity to enjoy the benefits of diapering."

For all that parents and experts alike agree that wearing diapers is better for children, it seems that the schools are not so keen on the idea. "I can understand why some parents might want to let their kids wear diapers, but it's not something that we can encourage," said Principal Liddons. "It's just too much for us to handle. We're not equipped to deal with so many students wearing diapers - we don't have the facilities or the staff, nor do we have the budget to get them. We're not a private school; we expect the vast majority of our students to be able to reliably use the toilet. We simply can't support so many kids who don't. It's not realistic, not with our budget constraints."

No matter how much schools may wish it were otherwise, though, the parents are the ones who have the final say on the matter. And with them, it seems that diapers are here to stay. As one parent put it, "My daughter is wearing diapers, and she's going to keep wearing them - whether the school likes it or not. It's what's best for her, and I'm not going to let anything get in the way of that."

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Congress Passes Landmark Education Act (San Francisco Chronicle, 1984)

Yesterday, the United States Congress passed the Education Act of 1984, the greatest expansion of public education in our nation's history. The act has been passed with overwhelming support from both Democrats and Republicans. It is an ambitious undertaking, with a similarly large price tag; but it is also one that will ensure that all our children receive a quality education and stay competitive in the global marketplace. It is a key step towards ensuring that our nation's future is bright, and is a testament to the importance of education in our society, to our desire to see our children succeed. It is our duty to give them the tools they need to thrive, and this act will go a long way towards doing just that.

A major motivation behind the passing of this act was the recent comparison of school results between the United States and other countries around the world, which showed that our students are falling behind in many areas. In particular, the Soviet Union has been making significant strides in education over the past few decades - to the point where their students are now outperforming ours in science and math. This has been a cause of great concern for many, and has led to calls for action - action that has now been taken. By improving the education of our children, we will be able to close the gap between us and our Soviet rivals.

Despite being passed with broad bipartisan support, the act is not without its critics. Some have expressed concern over some of the bill's sponsors, which most controversially includes Pampers, Inc. - the leading manufacturer of disposable diapers. Critics charge that the bill is a way to pad the pockets of corporate America at the expense of taxpayers by encouraging public schools to build more diaper changing rooms. They argue that this is nothing more than a backdoor way to subsidize the diaper industry, and that it will do little to improve the quality of education in our public schools.

Supporters of the bill argue that this is not the case, that the bill is designed to ensure that every child has access to what they need for learning. They point out that while a portion has been earmarked for the expansion of changing facilities for diapered students, this is only a small part of the overall funding - and that many schools are already expanding their changing facilities in response to the growing number of students wearing diapers. They argue that this is simply a reflection of the changing times, and that it is only natural for schools to adapt to the demands of their students.

Regardless of the motives behind the act, it is clear that it will have a major impact on public education in our nation. Over the next few years, schools will be expanding their facilities, hiring more staff, and buying more supplies to ensure that every child can receive a quality education. This act is a testament to the importance of education, and to our commitment to ensuring that all our children have the opportunity to succeed in life. It is a landmark moment in our history, and one that will have a lasting impact on our nation's future.

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Opening chapter of The Psychological Nightmare of Potty Training, by Dr. William D. Smith, Ph.D (1985)

I was fortunate enough to have been raised in a wealthy household. I wore diapers throughout my childhood, as did all my siblings and classmates. I didn't realize that this was an unusual situation. I had barely even heard of the concept of potty training until I began my first year of college. There, I found myself surrounded by students who had not been so lucky - who had been forced to learn to use the toilet at a young age, and who still struggled with the effects of this traumatic experience.

The difference between those who had been toilet trained and those who had not was stark. Those who had not been trained were more confident, more outgoing, and generally happier than those who had. They had a sense of self that those who had been trained lacked, an inner strength that hadn't been crushed in their early years as it had been in their less privileged peers. Those who had been allowed to wear diapers had been given the freedom to be themselves, while those who had not were held back by the chains of their upbringing.

The more I learned about it, the more I became convinced that potty training is nothing more than a form of psychological torture. It is a way to control people, to break their spirit, and to make them conform. It is a form of brainwashing, and it must be stopped.

It is true that Potty Training has long been considered the norm, and the practicality of it is not in dispute. However, it is my contention that the benefits of potty training are now far outweighed by the negative consequences. The psychological damage that it can cause is simply too great to justify the minor savings in cost that it offers.

In the past, those costs have been worth it, for the alternative required more labor than was possible to provide on an ongoing basis beyond infancy. But that is no longer the case. Today, disposable diapers are widely available, and they are not only affordable but also more convenient than the use of the toilet. Why subject children to the trauma of potty training when they can simply wear diapers instead? Why force them to suffer such abuse when it can be easily avoided?

Some may be skeptical of this claim, and rightfully so. After all, potty training has been with us for so long that it is difficult for many to imagine life without it. While the rich began abandoning it centuries ago, only recently has it become practical for the majority to do so. I can understand why some may be reluctant to give up such a long-standing tradition.

Initially, I too was skeptical of the idea that potty training could be so detrimental to a child's development. My new friends who had been subjected to it would insist that it was just how life worked for those without any servants to change them. But as I learned more about it, I came to realize that times have changed. Even if the user must change themselves, diapers are now the superior option. They are no longer the sole province of the elite; they are available to anyone who wants them.

After gaining my doctorate, I set out on a mission to educate the general public about the true horrors of potty training. This book is the culmination of that effort. It is my hope that it will help to bring an end to this outdated practice - to show that potty training is not only unnecessary but also harmful, and that it must be stopped for the sake of our children's well-being. That diapers are more convenient, more comfortable, and above all, are far less damaging to the child's psyche.

In the following chapters, I will explore the psychological effects of potty training in more detail, examining the various ways in which it harms the children forced to undergo it. I will also provide the historical context of potty training, how such a cruel practice was an unfortunate necessity in the past - and the advancements that make it no longer necessary today. There is now a better way, and it is time for us to embrace it.

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Popular Kids Wear Disney Diapers: The Rise of the Branded Diaper (Web Diary, 1994)

Like most schools these days, my daughter's offers some cheap generic crap for kids who don't bring their own diapers. Since I'm not a heartless monster, I made sure to buy some extra Pampers for her to take with her - the same ones that I have been getting her since she was born.

Back when I was a kid, I didn't even have that - this was before the widespread adoption of diapers, back when us kids were expected to use the potty by the age of three unless their parents were rich. Would've been different if I had been born just a few years later - my little sister was allowed to keep wearing them after a few failed attempts at potty training. Half her classmates were wearing them too. She learned to change herself, and soon enough she was handling it all on her own so long as my parents continued buying them for her. Nobody cared what the diapers looked like, as long as they did the job.

So when I was out buying diapers for my daughter's first day of school, I didn't think twice about getting her a pack of plain white Pampers. Sure, I could see how the ones with cartoon characters might appeal to some kids - but I wouldn't compromise on quality and why pay extra for some silly little pictures on them when they're only going to be hidden away under her clothes anyway? The plain white ones were cheaper and just as good.

Well, as it turns out, her classmates seemed to think those plain white Pampers were a major faux pas. During the lesson on how to change themselves, all the other kids had bright and colorful diapers with their favorite characters on them. My daughter's diaper was the only one that was plain and unadorned, and her classmates immediately took notice. The teacher tried to intervene, but by the time she did, the damage had been done: my daughter was already the laughingstock of the class.

When I went to pick her up from school that day, I could tell right away that something was wrong. She was quiet and withdrawn, not at all like her usual self. I asked what had happened, and after a long crying session she told me about how the other kids had teased her about her diaper.

I couldn't believe it. Why would they care about what her diaper looked like? As long as it kept her dry and comfortable, what difference did it make? But apparently, it was a big deal to them. They thought that she was a poor girl, that I couldn't afford to buy her a "proper" diaper. They had teased her mercilessly about it, calling her names and making fun of her. It broke my heart to see her so upset.

I understand wanting to look nice for one's peers, but does that really require having a cartoon character on one's diaper?

The face of Princess Ariel adorning the box now sitting on her dresser tells you all you need to know about the answer to that question. She's happy again, smiling and laughing as she heads off to school each morning, with Ariel smiling inside her bag and beneath her skirt. I still don't really get it, but I wasn't going to let her suffer another day of teasing and ridicule just because the diapers I bought her didn't have pictures printed on them. If this is what it takes to make her happy and confident, then so be it. At least she's not being bullied anymore!

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Top Soviet Schools Implement Western-Style Diapering Policies (Washington Post, 1996)

Ever since the so-called "Iron Curtain" fell in 1989, when the Soviet Union officially began allowing foreign investments in privately owned companies, the country has been undergoing rapid modernization - yet it had remained staunchly opposed to the use of diapers by able-bodied non-infants.

Soviet propaganda has long decried the use of diapers as bourgeois decadence and capitalist excess. However, while their leadership was publicly condemning it, imports of disposable diapers have been steadily increasing over the last decade, with a sharp increase in recent years. This suggests that there is growing demand for these products within the country despite the official disapproval. Now, it seems that this trend is finally reaching a tipping point: the government has granted permission for their schools to acknowledge the use of diapers among the student body and provide them with suitable facilities.

Four months ago, General Secretary Dimitri Nikulaevich's daughter, age twelve, was found to be wearing imported American diapers full-time. While initial reports claimed she had a medical condition that would have made their use excusable, if still somewhat shameful, analysis of the released medical report found irregularities that suggest the diagnosis was fabricated in response to the incident. The resulting scandal almost forced Nikulaevich to resign, and would have had he not found an unexpected wellspring of support from several other senior officials who had previously opposed him on a number of issues. With their backing, he was able to weather the storm and remain in power.

His daughter is far from the only young Soviet to have a diaper hidden under their clothes. While official numbers are unavailable, unofficial estimates suggest that over twenty thousand students in Moscow schools currently wear them every day, with many more doing so sporadically for exams or other events where they expect to be unable to freely access a restroom.

These children are not the alone in choosing diapers; all sizes of disposable diapers have seen increased imports, including larger adult sizes. However, it is still rare for any Soviet adult to openly admit to seeing diapers as an acceptable option, let alone one that they themselves use.

This reluctance appears to finally be changing, however. In what many are seeing as a major policy shift, the government has decided to officially allow the practice of diapering among their schoolchildren - beginning with the nation's premier educational institutions. Many suspect this move was prompted by the embarrassing revelation regarding General Secretary Nikulaevich's daughter and is part of an ongoing power struggle within the Communist Party between those who support greater integration with the West and those who wish to see the country return to its previous isolationist ways.

The first school to announce adoption of the new policy was the prestigious Moscow Institute for Young Leaders, which counts among its students many children of high-ranking officials, including General Secretary Nikulaevich's daughter. They immediately began renovations to add changing rooms to each floor of their main campus building, admitting that they were aware that many of their students were using existing restrooms for diaper changes - causing much inconvenience for those needing to relieve themselves in the same locations. With the addition of dedicated changing facilities, students will now be free to change their diapers in comfort and privacy without needing to compete for space with their undiapered peers. Several other leading schools have followed suit, including a couple universities which are adding changing rooms to their student dormitories - something previously unheard of within the country.

While the use of diapers has dramatically increased within the country over the past decade, the official stance against them has until recently hindered efforts to expand domestic production. As such, the country is now facing a massive shortage of diapers, especially in larger sizes used by older children and adults. While low-quality domestic versions have been available for those with a medical necessity, they suffer from poor absorbency and comfort compared to their imported counterparts - to the point of it being frequently rumored as intentional, with the risk of leakage meant to prevent their use by those with any alternative. Obviously, the market for such inferior products is limited, with most of those who could afford better opting to import them instead.

However, import taxes imposed on diapers entering the country have kept prices high. Those high prices have been further exacerbated by the recent change in policy allowing their use more openly. The price of a pack of Size 14 Pampers has nearly doubled in the span of a single month, leading to a growing black market in smuggled diapers, as well as domestic counterfeits of these trusted foreign brands. Officials have thus far refused to comment on either matter.

It remains to be seen how far-reaching this shift may ultimately become, but one thing is clear: the Soviet Union is no longer the bastion of anti-diaper sentiment that it once was. And with their most esteemed schools now embracing the practice, it seems likely that the Soviet people shall soon see wearing diapers as the respectable luxury it has long been elsewhere in the world.

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Dressing for Success: How to Create a Professional Image (Career Advice Article, 1998)

If you want to succeed in business, then you need to look the part. You can't expect to be taken seriously if you don't dress appropriately for your position. People notice when you wear a suit that doesn't fit.

You may think that nobody sees it, but trust me, they do. A suit is designed to be worn with a diaper; if you try to go without one, then you'll end up looking like a fool. You simply cannot expect to be taken seriously if you're not dressed properly - including those undergarments that are meant to stay hidden from view!

While this may go without saying, needing to leave a meeting prematurely to attend to matters of personal hygiene is not a good look. Be it because you lack a diaper entirely, or because the one you chose to wear was left unchanged or is otherwise inadequate, such incidents reflect poorly upon you. Better to leave than to leak, of course, but neither is acceptable in the business world. It is far better to avoid such situations altogether, which you can do by wearing high-quality diapers that can last a full workday.

Let us say you go to a meeting wearing the undergarments of the common peasant rather than the proper garments of a professional. Even if you do manage to hold it in until after the meeting has ended, trying to do so can be distracting and cause you to squirm in your seat. Such behavior will be noticed and remembered. Those who wear diapers have no such worries - they can remain focused on the task at hand, knowing that they have the protection of their diaper to keep them comfortable and dry. Any businessperson who is serious about their career will therefore wear a diaper - it is simply not worth the risk of losing out on an important opportunity just because you were not properly prepared.

Some people will argue that they have an iron bladder, capable of holding all day without incident and thus rendering a diaper unnecessary. Even for the rare few for whom this is not merely an overconfident boast, there remains other telltale signs that reveal their choice to go without.

You may question how anyone knows whether or not you are wearing a diaper - after all, aren't they supposed to remain unseen? While a diaper should be kept concealed from view while being worn (if yours is sticking out of the top of your pants, you will be seen as sloppy and unprofessional), there are still many signs that others can pick up on.

Even the way you walk can give you away. Back before modern disposables, the wealthy would wear bulky cloth diapers that caused them to waddle when they walked. This became a symbol of their status, of their ability to afford such luxuries. While today's disposable diapers are much thinner and less noticeable, they still cause a slight waddle even when new. Once they have been used, this becomes even more pronounced. If you leave a long meeting without a noticeable waddle in your step, you will be seen as a cheapskate who cannot afford a proper diaper.

The padding provided by a diaper also helps to make the wearer more comfortable while seated for extended periods of time. When attending meetings or conferences, it is important to sit upright and alert; however, this can be difficult when one's bottom begins to feel numb after hours of sitting on hard chairs. Indeed, it is almost expected that important meetings will be held in rooms with extremely uncomfortable chairs, as any decent professional would have the padding of their diaper to protect them from such things. Originally used to discriminate against those less fortunate and ensure that any business ventures they attempted would be unable to secure any major contracts, the use of such furniture has become the norm for all businesses in the Western world. Trying to do business without a diaper would leave you unable to sit comfortably in such a situation.

In summary, if you want to create a professional image, then start with the basics: wear a properly fitted suit with a diaper underneath. Don't skimp on quality when it comes to your appearance - put in the effort required to look good. In the past, only top executives were expected to wear diapers - but today, everyone needs to step up their game if they hope to compete. Those who fail to dress themselves properly will find themselves at a disadvantage, no matter how talented they might be. Don't let that happen to you - invest in yourself by making sure that your wardrobe is up to par. Your future self will thank you for it.

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Introductory Chapter of Preparing for Y2K: How to Survive the Coming Apocalypse (Best-Selling Book, 1999)

The end of the year is fast approaching, and with it comes the much-feared "Y2K bug" - a problem that threatens to bring the entire world to its knees. Computers around the globe are set to fail, and nobody knows how bad the damage will be. While optimists claim that the worst of it will be limited to minor inconveniences, such assurances ring hollow to those who know better.

Some may believe that they are safe, that this will not affect their life because they don't rely upon computers. But they would be wrong. Even if you do not use a computer yourself, you are still subject to the effects of this disaster. Your bank uses computers to manage your money. The power companies use computers to run the electrical grid that keeps your lights on. The water company uses computers to control the pumps that bring water into your home. Everything around us is run by computers - and when they fail, we will all be affected.

But you, dear reader, can survive. You can prepare for this disaster and ensure that you and your family come through it unscathed. All you need is a little foresight from this book and a good supply of essential supplies to see you through the dark times that are surely coming.

Some supplies are obvious: food and water are always a must-have when preparing for any disaster. You'll need a good weapon to protect yourself from looters, with plenty of ammunition to spare. Fuel is another important item to stock up on - gas, oil, and coal. You'll need plenty of it to keep your home warm and to cook your food. Make sure you have enough to last for at least a few months, just in case the power goes out for an extended period of time.

That's not the only things you should stock up on though. Any consumables that you would normally buy from a store should be included as well, as it is unlikely that stores will remain open once the disaster strikes. Soap, toothpaste, deodorant - anything that you would normally buy in small quantities should be purchased in bulk while it is still available.

If none of your family members are wearing diapers, then you may think that it's not necessary to stock up on them and the related supplies. But I would urge you to reconsider. When the water stops flowing, your toilet will no longer function - and without a proper way to dispose of your waste, you will quickly find yourself in a very uncomfortable situation. A stockpile of diapers and wipes will ensure that you can keep yourself clean and hygienic while waiting for the disaster to pass. Yes, they may be expensive - but so too are the consequences of being caught unprepared!

Besides, even if you don't use all of them during the crisis, you can still enjoy them afterward. You may not have a job that requires you to wear a diaper - though many now do - but it's still nice to have them around for those days when you want to relax and unwind by skipping the toilet. There's a reason that they've been a wardrobe staple for the rich and powerful for centuries!

But I digress. You're here to learn how to prepare for the coming disaster, not about how to enjoy life after it has passed. The rest of this book will explain in detail everything you need to know in order to survive. Follow the advice given here and you will come through the dark days that are sure to come. Ignore it at your own peril.

Chapter Text

Suburbia Sans Toilets: A Changing Generation (Magazine Feature, 2001)

Mansions have long been built with the assumption that only the servants would need access to a toilet, with the residents relying upon their diapers instead. Attached to each bedroom is a lavatory, but these rooms lack a toilet. Instead, alongside the sink and bathtub that one would always expect to find in a bathroom, is everything required for changing a diaper: a changing table with a soft cloth surface, a trashcan to dispose of the dirty diaper, and a supply cabinet full of fresh diapers, wipes, and other essentials.

Suburban McMansions, however, have typically not been built with such facilities. For all that their layouts often resemble that of a traditional manor house, their inhabitants were expected to be able to use the toilet, just as they and their poorer counterparts have done since time immemorial. But times, it seems, are changing.

In the suburbs of today's America, it is rare to find a child who is not wearing a diaper. Schools in these areas are increasingly finding their traditional restrooms left unused while the changing rooms are overflowing with students. Many younger parents have themselves grown up wearing them, and have continued to do so as adults. With not a single member of the household having ever used a toilet, it is perhaps unsurprising that many of their homes now have no working toilet to be found anywhere within them. Why bother to install something that will never be used? Instead, they are now including the same lavatories found in traditional manor houses - rather than having a toilet attached to each bedroom, they have a changing room instead.

The trend appears to be spreading - and quickly. In a recent survey of new suburban homes, nearly half of them lacked any working toilet within their walls. This is a dramatic increase over just a few years ago, when nearly every new home was built with a toilet - albeit one that was rarely used. Even the wealthiest of families had them installed for their servants' use, but these new homeowners, lacking any such staff, have dispensed with them entirely.

"When I was growing up, my parents always used a toilet - but I never did," said one young mother. "They told me that I would have to learn to use one someday, but they never really got around to teaching me. So when I moved out and started my own family, I figured why bother? My husband and I both wear diapers, and so do our kids - so why would we need a toilet? It's just a waste of space."

Of course, not all suburbanites have embraced the change. A rare few still cling to the idea that their children should learn to use the toilet, denying them the comfort and convenience of diapers. However, they are increasingly becoming a minority - one that is often mocked by their peers for their outdated attitudes. To prevent their kids from being teased at school, many of these parents have resorted to home-schooling them instead.

"People think that because we don't let our kids wear diapers, that we're some kind of religious fundamentalists or something," said one father who had opted to keep his children from wearing them. "But we're not. We just believe that it's better for them to learn how to use the toilet from an early age, rather than being stuck in diapers forever. Our oldest daughter was out of diapers at age three, but when she got to kindergarten she was ridiculed by the other kids who wore diapers. Less than a month later, she begged us to let her start wearing them too. We weren't going to let her be bullied into submission, so we decided to pull her out of public school and begin homeschooling her instead."

"Diapers are the norm, and anyone who doesn't wear them is an outcast," said another parent. "My twins were fully potty trained before starting kindergarten, but they were teased for it so much that I ended up letting them start wearing diapers at school. Then, after a few embarrassing accidents at home where they forgot they didn't have a diaper on like they would at school, I finally gave up altogether and let them wear diapers full-time. It was just too much trouble trying to go back and forth between the two different ways of doing things. I'm not happy about it, but it seems like the only choice."

"They've since been invited to a few sleepovers at their friends' houses, and it's a good thing they wear diapers now," she added. "Their friends' parents don't even have any toilets in their homes, so if they didn't have a diaper on when they visited, they would have had nowhere to go! Not that they would've been invited to stay over in the first place if they weren't wearing diapers, of course, not with how judgmental those other kids can be."

It seems that, in the suburbs, diapers are becoming not just the norm but the only viable option for many families. As more and more of these families move into newly-built homes without toilets, their choice in underwear is becoming even more entrenched. For if your home lacks a toilet, then wearing a diaper becomes a necessity rather than a mere convenience.

Chapter Text

Harry Potter's Life with the Dursleys: What the Movie Changed (Fan analysis, posted 2002)

The film Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone is a mostly faithful adaptation of the book, though with quite a few cut scenes, as every other movie adaption must do to not become unwatchably lengthy. There is, however, one major difference: the time Harry spends with his relatives, the Dursleys.

The book tells us only a little of their life together, mostly establishing the fact that they were rather unpleasant towards him. There is a single chapter with them before his Hogwarts letter arrives, and one more which covers the family's attempts to hide from the wizarding world. In total, less than 10% of the book's length is spent with the Dursleys. The film, however, devotes an entire fourth of its runtime to Harry's life with his relatives.

In the book, we see Harry cooking breakfast for them, and are told that he was also expected to wash the dishes and clean the house. From later books, we know that he also cared for the garden. While these would all be considered normal chores for a young boy to do, the implication that he was expected to do them all while also being constantly belittled and scorned by his family makes it clear that he was treated much like a servant. Especially when compared to Dudley, who was pampered and spoiled by his parents. Dudley's complete lack of chores and the many gifts he received for his birthday (whereas Harry was given a single pair of socks) further emphasizes the disparity in the treatment the two boys received.

The movie expands upon this in several ways, yet also twists it. In Dudley's bedroom, we see Harry making the bed and picking up some toys. The bedroom is otherwise clean, presumably thanks to Harry's efforts (whereas the book describes Dudley's bedroom as messy and filled with toys, and Harry being forbidden to enter). In the background, we can see an open box of Pampers and a changing table. Back in the early 90s when the story takes place, it was still more common than not for children of middle-class families to be fully potty trained, though the now-ubiquitous practice of diapering one's children was by no means unheard of and had reached a significant majority in some areas.

As for Harry, his room (you really can't call it a bedroom) doesn't even have space for a changing table. To make the situation more obvious, while he's putting away his birthday gift of socks, the camera shows that his dresser contains many pairs of non-absorbent underwear. While it was not too rare for a family to have a younger child be diapered while their older siblings had not been so lucky, for them to do so when both boys are the same age is blatantly unfair.

During the zoo scene, Dudley is still trapped with the snake but Harry is at least somewhat concerned rather that purely joyous at his cousin's predicament. He's still blamed for it by Vernon. Correctly, though Harry doesn't realize it at the time. At the start there was also a brief derisive insult from Vernon about Harry needing a potty break. The book didn't mention the status of any of the characters' pre-Hogwarts underwear - which, to be fair, is not particularly important in and of itself.

While the book skims over the details of Harry's time at the local school, the movie takes us there and adds new depth to Harry's relationship with his cousin. Rather than the few lines of bullying and harassment of the book, we see a much more nuanced relationship between the two boys. Dudley is still shown to be an entitled jerk, but he also demonstrates a clear level of trust towards Harry that his book counterpart would never have shown.

When class lets out for recess, we see Dudley rush out of the classroom, leaving behind all his things. Harry stays behind, gathering both boys' belongings into their respective backpacks. The teacher remarks on this, telling Harry that it's nice of him to take care of his cousin like that, to which Harry blandly agrees before leaving. He may resent the unfairness of it, but he accepts the responsibility of caring for Dudley. We also see them walking home from school together, with Harry behind Dudley carrying both of their backpacks. In contrast, Book-Harry does his best to hide away from Dudley at all times.

In both the book and the movie, Vernon responds to the first Hogwarts letter with a claim that magic isn't real. The book then skips directly to the second letter. In the movie, we first get a scene in one of the school's changing rooms. Harry is washing his hands in the sink, with Dudley sitting up on the changing table. The implications are obvious. Dudley tells Harry that he overheard his parents arguing about the letter, and that Vernon had lied to them both. Their conversation is interwoven with flashbacks of both the argument between Vernon and Petunia and some relevant scenes of Harry's infancy. Vernon is afraid of magic, of the wizarding world, and of the people within it. Petunia, on the other hand, is more reserved with her dislike of the subject, though she certainly isn't enthused by it either.

Apparently, Harry had shown up on the Dursleys' doorstep in a basket containing a note giving Harry's name and information about the death of James and Lily Potter. It also had Harry himself, swaddled in a blanket and wearing what appeared to be a cloth diaper. Petunia soon realized that the diaper was no ordinary diaper. It never became dirty or wet, and it seemed to be growing in size as Harry did. She really appreciated the convenience of it, but it was also a reminder of her deceased sister.

Then, about two years after Harry's arrival at the Dursleys, the diaper suddenly stopped working. It began leaking through and wouldn't clean itself when soiled. The young Harry, experiencing the sensations of a used diaper for the first time, began screaming and crying whenever he had peed or pooped himself - even for minor wetness, which was quite frequent. Faced with a constantly wailing toddler and needing to buy and change more than twice the diapers as before, the two Dursleys soon grew to hate their young charge. They forced Harry to potty train, while allowing Dudley to remain in diapers. The difficulties they encountered trying to train Harry only served to further sour their attitude towards him.

Harry appreciates Dudley's explanation, but is still confused by Vernon's denial of magic's existence. That's when Dudley explains further. Harry's parents hadn't died in a car crash, as the two boys had been told. Instead, they had been murdered by an evil wizard. The letter was an invitation for Harry to go to the same magic school that Lily had gone to. An invitation to the same world of magic that had killed his mother.

Petunia had seen the myriad of ways that magic could be used to make life easier, how her sister had loved it. Despite her hatred of how it had taken Lily away from her twice over (once when Lily left her for the wizarding world, and again when she died there), she was still tempted by its many benefits and thus willing to let Harry attend Hogwarts. Vernon, however, saw only how it had killed his sister-in-law and left them stuck raising their orphaned nephew. He hated magic and everything about it, and wanted nothing to do with it. In the end, Vernon declares to his wife that his word is final, and that Harry will not be going.

After giving the whole explanation, Dudley breaks down into tears at the thought that Harry might die if he leaves. Harry awkwardly comforts him. While the details of Harry's early life with the Dursleys were entirely new to the film, the rest of it is information that Harry got from Hagrid in the book. Shifting the source of this information to Dudley at first seems strange. Why not just have the same scene as the book, with Harry learning about it from Hagrid after the Dursleys try and fail to destroy the letters and run away to the shack?

The explanation of why they hate Harry does humanize the Dursleys somewhat, addressing a common criticism of them being little more than cartoon villains, but this scene does much more than just that. By having Harry learn this from Dudley, there are three big consequences.

First, Harry gains this knowledge much sooner, before even the arrival of the second letter. Harry, knowing the truth about his parents' deaths, is now an active participant in hiding from the wizarding world rather than just a passive recipient of his uncle's anger. While the boys never reveal their knowledge to the Dursley adults, it does change their behavior. Dudley complains less about the family's attempts to hide, and Harry's attitude towards his relatives softens.

Secondly, when Hagrid arrives at the shack, Harry's attitude is suspicious. In the book, he is initially in awe of the huge man who arrives, and quickly comes to respect him as well. In the movie, he appears to do the same, but there are hints that strongly suggest that Harry is putting on an act. We see the two boys whispering to each other shortly before Hagrid's arrival, and Harry nods sadly at Dudley before putting on a smile as Hagrid knocks down the door. Whereas Book-Harry is surprised and excited to learn about his parents, Movie-Harry already knows and thus never asks. He still acts happy to leave the Dursleys, and that may be genuine considering the way Vernon and Petunia treated him, but he's also much more guarded with Hagrid. Dudley is not turned into a pig in the movie, instead staying completely quiet the entire time Hagrid is there - in great contrast to the loudmouth he usually is. It also seems like Harry is more friendly with Hermione and the other muggleborns while being slightly less friendly with Ron, though that's subtle enough as to be debatable.

Lastly, and most importantly, Harry's relationship with Dudley is totally different. Rather than simply a bully and his victim, we see a commentary on the historical class divide between those who wore diapers and those who did not. Vernon and Petunia raise Dudley as if they were an upper-class family, with Harry relegated to the position of a servant. Yet, for all that Dudley is pampered and spoiled and expects Harry to serve him, he also trusts him. Harry is the one who gathers Dudley's things and carries them around for him, Harry changes Dudley's diapers, Harry is allowed into Dudley's bedroom without supervision, and Harry comforts him when he cries. And now, Dudley and Harry have a secret that they have shared with each other and nobody else.

Just as how disposable diapers have erased the old class divide between the rich and powerful who wore them and those less fortunate who did not, so too has the movie changed the divide between the two boys. Harry is no longer an untrusted slave of Dursley family, but instead a trusted friend and caretaker of Dudley. The two boys may not be equals, but they are far from the enemies they are in the book.

Fun fact: if you look closely, you can see that Dudley walks with a slight waddle and his pants bulge a bit. In the scene where the second Hogwarts letter shows up, Dudley's standing to the side. You can actually see him pause for a few seconds and his pants start to sag a bit in the back. Pretty rare to see someone defecating on-screen like that!

Contrastingly, until Harry gets his robes, he walks without any such waddle and his pants lack any noticeable diaper bulge. In an interview, the director mentioned that he had wanted Harry's actor to actually be toilet trained for the part, but decided that it wasn't critical when an otherwise perfect young actor showed up. Instead, they used thin pull-ups that were easily hidden. They required constant changing, considerably complicating the filming of those scenes. Several takes were ruined when the pull-up leaked, but the director felt that it was worth it.

I'm not sure where the filmmakers are going with all this, but it's definitely a departure from the book in an otherwise faithful adaptation. Will these changes compound into a greater difference, or is this just the director fleshing out a time period the books skimmed over? I'm hoping for the former, particularly since Dudley is such a different character here.

There are a couple other little things that I thought were worth mentioning. Apparently, in the UK, the book and movie are both titled Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. The actors actually had to record separate lines for the two versions to account for that and because they call diapers "nappies" over there. Everything else is identical, or so I've heard.

On the DVD there's a deleted scene that takes place while Harry is being fitted for robes in Diagon Alley. The woman measuring him makes a disapproving noise when she sees that he isn't wearing a diaper. She comments that it's sad how Muggle-raised children so often aren't wearing anything absorbent under their clothes, though she is optimistic and has seen that starting to change. She gives him some "proper undergarments". Harry in turn brings up the failure of his original diaper, and the woman tells him that they can only last a couple years before the enchantment needs to be recharged, but not to worry since the Hogwarts house elves would take care of that for him without him needing to do anything. The books don't mention house elves until we meet Dobby in the second book, and tying their existence into the failure of young Harry's magical diaper and his subsequent mistreatment by the Dursleys was a neat way to bring things together. It's too bad that scene was cut for the theatrical release, though it is admittedly a bit slow.

Justin Finch-Fletchley's not an important character, but his actor did a surprisingly good job of putting a tiny background story into his every scene. One of his very few lines mentions that before learning of magic he had been expecting to go to Eton, a prestigious private school. During the scenes of Harry's first few days at Hogwarts, we often see Justin in the background, seeming to forget his things and, in one case, almost walking right into a closed door. This clearly implies that he is used to having a servant who takes care of such things for him, and that he is not yet used to doing them himself. Presumably, said servant was not allowed at Hogwarts due to being non-magical.

There is one person we do see with servants at Hogwarts, however. Draco Malfoy is never seen carrying anything except for his own wand, with Crabbe and Goyle following behind him often holding his books or other belongings. Yet, unlike the blind trust that Dudley had in Harry and that Justin is implied to have had in his own servant, Malfoy is seen watching closely as they collect his things after class, and occasionally looking over his shoulder at them while they're walking. He is clearly distrustful of them, and that tension is a nice parallel to Harry's own added distrust of the wizarding world that caused his parents' deaths.

These are all little touches that don't make or break the movie, but they do add another layer of depth to it. Nothing compared to the much more significant addition of Harry's life with the Dursleys, but still nice nonetheless. I do hope they continue to add more to future movies, as it helps to keep them interesting. It would also be interesting to see if Harry's relationship with Dudley is different now that the two boys are both wearing diapers and Harry hasn't been there for Dudley over the year. I'm eagerly awaiting the upcoming release of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets to see how the parts with the Dursleys are changed this time. Well, and to see the special effects of course - if the entrance to Diagon Alley was anything to go by, the unfolding of the passage to the Chamber from that abandoned classroom is sure to be awesome!

Chapter Text

User Group: Harvard Scholarship Students (2004)

Post by Eliana Amsberry (Freshman):

Wow. Orientation isn't even over yet, and the culture shock is already intense. The Harvard scholarship includes the services of a personal assistant - they assigned one to me when I checked into the dorm yesterday. I know most students here at Harvard have them, but I've never had one before. It's been quite the eye-opener.

I grew up in a middle-class family, so I was used to wearing diapers all the time but had to start changing myself by the time I turned six. Sure, occasionally my mom would do it for me when I was sick, or a friend might offer to change me in exchange for me changing them back, but for the most part I've been on my own. I'm the one who decided when my diaper needed changing, and I was the one who did it.

I had done my research, of course - I knew that most students here at Harvard brought their own servant to attend to their needs, and that I'd be provided with one when I arrived. I knew what to expect, in theory. That she'd be changing my diapers, cleaning my room, helping me get dressed, and so on. But knowing that and actually experiencing it are two very different things. I'm still not sure how to feel about it. It's weird to have someone else doing things for me that I've always done myself.

I don't want to sound like I'm ungrateful for the service or anything. I'm really not. So far Ms. Peterson is a wonderful assistant and she's done a fantastic job of taking care of me. It's just that... well, I guess I'm more used to being the one in charge of my own diaper changes. The first time she stuck her hand down my pants to check on my diaper, I nearly jumped out of my skin! I know she means well and that she's only doing her job, but it still felt wrong. She's basically a stranger to me, after all. We only met yesterday!

After she changed me last night, I noticed that her pants were sagging a bit and I offered to help her with hers - like how I and my friends back home would sometimes change each other. She acted like I had insulted her or something! She said that it was her job to take care of me, not the other way around. I was just trying to be nice, to return the favor. But I guess she didn't see it that way. She seemed pretty annoyed by the whole thing. Not the best way to end our first day together...

Then, this morning, I woke up to a dry diaper for the first time since I can remember. She must have changed it sometime during the night, and I didn't even notice. It's kind of... unsettling, I guess. I mean, I appreciate the convenience of having a fresh diaper ready to go when I wake up, but thinking of her there in the dark, quietly changing my diaper without me knowing... it's a little bit creepy. Not that I don't trust her or anything, but still, with how we got off on the wrong foot yesterday... I'm not sure how I feel about it.

I don't know. I guess it's just going to take some getting used to. I know most other students here are used to having servants take care of them, but that's strange for me. I grew up changing my own diaper, so having someone else do it is just... uncomfortable. Especially someone I barely know. The students who bring their own servant, I understand - they know them and trust them, they've grown up with them. But surely when you're assigned a random stranger to help you out, it's different? Not that I have anything against Ms. Peterson or anything, it's just that she's... well, she's not me. She's not my mom, she's not my friend, she's not anyone I've known for years. She's just some lady who works here, who happens to be assigned to help me. And that's just... yeah. It's weird.

Any other freshmen feeling similarly? Any upperclassmen who have gone through this before have any advice to offer? I'd appreciate any insights you might be able to share. Thanks!

Reply by Sarah Whelchel (Sophomore):

Yeah, I remember when I first came to Harvard. It was a bit of a shock to me too. You'll get used to it pretty quickly, though - you'll see. By the end of the first week, it'll feel normal. By the end of your first semester, you'll be wondering how you ever managed without one.

Just in time for the winter break, too. You know, when you'll be going home to your parents' house where you're once again expected to change your own diapers. If you thought it was hard to adjust to having someone there to help you when you first came to college, just wait until you go back and have to do everything yourself again!

God, that was the worst. I still cringe when I think back to that first week at home without my aide Ms. Ferguson around, checking my diaper and carrying all my stuff. It took me a good few days to readjust, and my poor parents were none too happy to have their daughter leaking all over the place. I'd completely lost all sense of when I needed to change, I'd gotten so used to leaving it to her. I ended up ruining half a dozen outfits before I finally got the hang of it again. Not to mention all the times I forgot to bring my wallet with me!

My advice? Talk to your new assistant. Get to know her, let her get to know you. The more comfortable you are with each other, the easier it will be. Just, don't get so comfortable that you start relying on her too much. She's part of your scholarship, she's not a permanent part of your life. Don't become so dependent upon her that you can't manage without her.

Reply by Stephanie Jones (Senior):

You think it's weird for you? Try being from a poor rural town! The kind of place where it's rare to find anyone wearing diapers that isn't a baby. Where most kids still are potty trained, like I was.

I say was, because I'm not anymore. Really wish I had gotten that advice about not becoming too reliant on my personal assistant at the start of my own freshman year - would have saved me a lot of trouble!

Took me a month or so to get used to wearing a diaper, but by the time I was halfway through my first semester I was doing just fine. Went home for winter break, and things were... less fine.

Turns out, I got used to always having a diaper on pretty darn quick. Using it became second nature to me, and I found myself relying on it being there. The way I'm sure you and everyone else who grew up wearing diapers does. Releasing myself into it whenever I felt the slightest urge to go, without even really thinking about it. It's just that, while I didn't have any problems doing that here at Harvard, back home... that was a different story.

Luckily, the diaper I was wearing held out long enough that I didn't leak in the car or anything. But then I got to my parents' house, and there was no diaper to change into. Nor was there anyone to change me, as I had gotten so accustomed to.

I didn't worry about it when I first got home. I took a shower and changed into some of my old underwear, assuming it would be no big deal, that I could return to using the toilet like I had been doing not that many months prior. I was so wrong. A few hours and two wet outfits later, I was begging my mom to drive to the store and buy me some diapers to wear.

Took some convincing, but eventually she caved. I think it was more to spare herself the cleanup than anything else. But then I had to deal with learning to change myself when all my previous diaper experience had been with my assistant changing me. I was a complete mess that whole break. I'm glad my mom didn't just throw me out of the house!

So yeah, if you're feeling weird about it, just imagine how it must feel to be someone who has never worn a diaper before, coming from a family where nobody wears them. I got used to it pretty quick, I'm sure you will too.

And that advice that Sarah gave? I'm gonna say that's some good stuff right there. Don't become too reliant on the help, because one day you're going to have to go back to changing yourself again. Enjoy the convenience she provides, but don't grow so dependent upon it that you can't live without it. Because one day, you're going to have to.

Well, unless you can get a servant of your own. You're not gonna be able to afford one yourself, but I know more than a couple other scholarship students who have started a relationship with one of the other, wealthier students - and soon found themselves with a permanent servant to tend to them, so long as they remained together at least. I'm not one of them, but I'm not one to judge either; even if I'm pretty sure some of them are in a relationship more for that than for their partner. I mean, if they're happy to have each other, then who am I to say otherwise?

I certainly wouldn't mind having a servant of my own, that's for sure. I'm graduating at the end of this year. Here's hoping I get a good job and can afford one someday!

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Donating Diapers: How You Can Help Make a Difference (Nonprofit Organization Flyer, 2007)

Did you know that less than 40% of people around the world can afford to wear diapers? There are billions who would no doubt love to wear diapers but simply cannot afford to. You can help.

By donating fresh diapers, you can help to improve the quality of life for those who live in poverty. You can make a real difference in the lives of people who desperately need the help. It's a simple way to help make the world a better place.

Your donated diapers will be distributed to those who cannot buy their own diapers, providing them with months or even years of diapers for free, both domestically and abroad. By donating, you are helping to ensure that everyone has access to this basic human dignity. You are making it possible for those less fortunate to enjoy something that you take for granted every day.

So please, join us in our mission to bring diapers to those who lack them. Your donations are greatly appreciated. With your help, we can ensure that no person in the developed world need go without diapers, and allow many in the developing world to experience the many benefits that they provide.

We would like to thank Pampers, Inc. for their generous sponsorship of this campaign

Chapter Text

Out of Sight, Out of Mind: The Hidden Cost of Disposable Diapers (Green Living Monthly, 2008)

Chances are, if you're reading this article, you've got a disposable diaper on right now. Most people do - over 80% of Americans have made them part of their daily routine, including over 95% of children under the age of 18. Increasingly, it is becoming impossible to imagine life without them - with many now living in homes that lack any toilet whatsoever, relying entirely upon their diapers as their sole means of managing their waste.

Before the widespread adoption of disposable diapers, the sheer amount of labor required to keep a person in diapers was simply too much for most people to bear. Lacking a small army of servants to tend to them, most people found cloth diapers sufficiently burdensome as to be impractical. The only practical option was to use the toilet - with all the attendant discomforts that entailed.

Those unfortunate souls who had grown up in wealth but faced economic hardships as adults had it even worse off, with their sudden fall from grace often leaving them struggling to adapt. Either they had to spend hours every day washing and drying their diapers, or they had to learn to use the toilet for the first time in their lives - with varying degrees of success. For many, it was an impossible task; after having grown up wearing diapers, their bladder and bowels were simply unable to adapt to the new demands placed upon them.

But then disposable diapers were invented - and everything changed. No longer did people have to spend hours each day washing and drying their diapers; now, they could simply throw them away once used and buy a fresh pack when needed. The difference disposable diapers made cannot be overstated. They have revolutionized our society, allowing anyone with a bit of spare income to enjoy the comfort and convenience of this once-exclusive luxury, or at the very least to provide it for their children. They have made it possible for people of all backgrounds to wear diapers, something which was once reserved only for the richest among us. And yet, despite their many benefits, there is a dark side to disposable diapers.

A few may complain of the cost, and indeed it can be expensive to buy enough disposables to keep a family of four in diapers. But the true cost of disposable diapers is far greater than just the money spent on them. It is a cost that we are all paying, whether we realize it or not.

The problem is this: when you throw away a disposable diaper, it doesn't just disappear. It goes to a landfill, where it sits for centuries without decomposing. Over half of all garbage produced by the average American household is made up of disposable diapers. In the United States alone, well over 200 billion of them are thrown away each year. That's a lot of diapers - and they're not going anywhere.

Most people don't think about this when they change their diaper and throw it away. Once it's in the trash, once the dirty diaper is safely out of sight, they don't give it a second thought. But they should. For while disposable diapers may be convenient for us, they are not so convenient for the environment. Our landfills are filling up. More and more space is being dedicated to storing those mountains of garbage, eating away at the natural environment.

For those seeking to begin living a more environmentally friendly lifestyle, the use of disposable diapers poses a significant challenge. Using cloth diapers is obviously not a viable option for most people - the labor involved in washing and drying them is simply too much, just as it was before disposable diapers were invented. Trying to go without a diaper altogether is similarly problematic. Even if your home still has a toilet, trying to retrain yourself after years of wearing a diaper can be extremely difficult, let alone those who have never used one before. And if your home lacks a toilet entirely? Going without is simply not an option at all.

Fortunately, while there are no easy solutions to this problem today, there is hope for the future. A number of companies are working on developing biodegradable diapers that will break down over time, yet still provide the same level of protection and comfort as current disposable diapers. These new diapers would be just as easy to use as any other, but without the long-term environmental consequences. Current estimates suggest that such diapers will be available within a couple years, though they may not be as cheap as their non-biodegradable counterparts.

In the meantime, you can help to reduce your environmental impact by using fewer disposable diapers, by purchasing higher-quality ones that last longer and therefore require less frequent changes. It's both good for the environment and more convenient for you! It may not seem like much, but every little bit helps.

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Malicious Generosity: When Charity Makes Things Worse (Online Blog, 2009)

There are countless charities out there, helping those in need. Whether it's a local shelter for the homeless, a food bank, or a medical clinic, these organizations are doing a lot of good in the world. It's important to support these charities, to ensure that they can continue making life better for millions.

It's also important to be aware of those charities that are actually making things worse. Some organizations, while claiming to be doing good, are actually doing the exact opposite. Even if those working for them are doing so with the best of intentions, they are harming the very people they claim to be helping.

Take, for example, the baby formula that Nestlé gives away to new mothers in poor countries. They provide around three months worth of formula to babies around the world, completely free of charge. Such a generous gesture, right? Wrong.

You see, by the time those three months are up, should she have used that formula, the mother will have become dependent upon it. Her body will have stopped producing the milk she needs to feed her baby, and she'll be forced to buy more formula to continue feeding her child. This is exactly what Nestlé wants - to sell their formula, not to give it away for free. And so, by providing new mothers with free formula, they are actually hurting them in the long run. They are forcing them to spend what little money they have on formula that they wouldn't have needed otherwise. And let's not even start on how bad it can be if the mother can't get clean drinking water to mix the formula with!

The same is true for many of the charities that offer poor children free diapers. Diaper banks that offer free disposable diapers to adult users are constantly struggling to maintain enough supply. Yet, those which only offer free diapers to children are showered with donations from the manufacturers. A child can easily be diapered from birth until age twelve with neither they nor their parents spending a single penny on the diapers themselves. Many programs are so well-funded that they offer free or heavily discounted wipes, powder, and other supplies used to keep a kid comfortably diapered.

Once that child reaches their teenage years, that abundant supply of free diapers will dry up. Sure, a few charities try to offer free diapers to teenagers and adults in need, but they are woefully underfunded compared to those that focus on younger kids. Suddenly, they or their parents must begin paying for every diaper used; quite an expense for those already living on the edge of poverty.

"Why not just stop wearing diapers?" you may ask. "If they can't afford to buy them, they can learn to use the toilet instead." While you likely have never tried it yourself, most people know someone who has. Many have grandparents who had been potty trained as children and continue to wear non-absorbent underwear to this day. Surely, if they could learn to use the toilet at such a young age, so too can their teenage grandchildren?

Unfortunately, it's not so simple. When training begins early in life, it is a relatively simple process. Not an easy one, by any means, but manageable with sufficient effort. With only a few years of experience wearing diapers, most kids can adapt to the demands of using the toilet within a few weeks. But when that training doesn't start until they're a teenager? Study after study has shown that it becomes an uphill battle, one that few can win.

It is not simply a matter of showing them how to use the toilet and telling them to hold their pee and poo until they get there. It requires them to retrain their bladder and their bowels, to undo more than a decade of habit in which their body was allowed to relax at all times, to relieve itself whenever it pleased.

Just as how a young child can learn to speak a new language with relative ease, but an adult finds it much more difficult, so too is it with toilet training. While it can be done, it is not easy. After so many years of being allowed to wear diapers, of not needing to worry about when and where they go, a teenager's bladder and bowels have become set in their ways. The muscles controlling them have never before been put to use, never been exercised. Having never been trained on the much smaller scale of a young child's anatomy, these muscles are simply incapable of suddenly managing the far greater amount of waste produced by a teenager.

To go from always having a diaper there to catch every little drop, to suddenly needing to hold for hours at a time? To strain and clench their underdeveloped muscles until they can find a toilet, when more and more places have been removing them to make way for more diaper changing rooms? That's a tall order, one that many people simply cannot fill, especially those who are already struggling with other aspects of their life - which teenagers often are.

So, when these teenagers are forced to learn to use the toilet, it doesn't go well. It is a process that can take months or even years, during which accidents are frequent - and often disastrous. They leak in school, they leak in the car, and they almost universally will leak upon their bed at night. Between the embarrassment and the cleanup, it is a miserable experience. Most families give up quite quickly, and the teenaged children return to wearing diapers; even if that means sacrificing something else to afford them.

This pattern plays out both in the developed world and the developing world, though the consequences are perhaps more pronounced in the latter. In the former, a family might have to cut back on other expenses or spend an extra hour at work each day to afford the diapers. Many parents don't even attempt to train them, sparing them the embarrassment of not having diapers like their peers. But in the developing world, where a family's entire budget may be less than $1 a day, a pack of diapers can be a significant portion of that. Yet, they too find that the consequences of not having diapers are sufficiently dire to justify the expense.

Now forced to buy diapers, many find themselves turning to food aid programs to prevent starvation; but those charities are almost as problematic as those offering free diapers, though on a more societal level. For, when a farmer must compete with a food aid program, they cannot possibly win. No price that they set can compete with the free food being handed out. They stop growing food to sell, instead growing cash crops that will fetch a better price. With nobody growing food anymore, the country becomes even more reliant upon that aid.

This is not to say that food aid charities should be stopped; they allow people to survive when they would not otherwise be able to, even if by doing so these aid programs begin to make the entire country dependent upon them. Many of these programs are sponsored by governments, who then use them as leverage to extract political concessions from the leaders of those countries. If they don't do as their donors demand, the free food would be shut off and they could do naught but watch as their country descends into chaos.

And so, while the intentions of many of the people involved in all of these organizations are undoubtedly good, the effect they have on society is quite the opposite. By offering free supplies, they are actually making things worse. Rather than helping people to escape from poverty, they are keeping them trapped within it.

Be it Nestlé's baby formula, Pampers' free diapers, a government-run food aid program, and no doubt many others that I am currently unaware of, these charities are doing more harm than good. Unfortunately, I don't have a good solution. I'm absolutely not saying that we should stop providing assistance to those who need it; far from it. Doing so immediately would cause a tragedy of unprecedented proportions. What I'm saying is that we need to find a better way to provide that aid. We must find a way to help people without trapping them within a cycle of poverty and dependence.

I'm not sure exactly what that looks like, but I know that it's not what we're doing now. We are providing free formula to poor mothers, but doing so in a way that ensures they will forever be reliant upon it. We are giving away free diapers to poor children, but doing so in a way that forces them to spend money on diapers as adults. We are offering free food to starving countries, but doing so in a way that destroys their agriculture and leaves them reliant upon our government's generosity.

We must find a better way. We must find a way to help people without making things worse. Because as long as we continue to do what we're doing, nothing will improve.

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Special Offer: Embrace Your Inner Child With Our Limited-Time Diaper Patterns! (Pampers' 2011 Spring Catalog)

Do you wish to relive your childhood? To recapture those days of carefree fun, when everything was simple and easy and there were no responsibilities to worry about? To go back to a time when Mommy or Daddy was always there to change your diaper for you?

While we can't bring you back to those days, we can at least bring you some of that feeling. This season, Pampers is proud to offer a selection of limited-time diaper patterns, designed to help you remember those days gone by and recapture some of the joy and happiness they brought.

You can enjoy the the same designs that your parents may have chosen for you when you were young, now updated with the latest technology to provide maximum comfort and absorbency. Alternatively, you can choose to wear a modern pattern - the exact same ones that today's toddlers are wearing. Either way, these diapers are sure to bring back memories of those wonderful times.

Pick yours up today at participating retailers, or order directly from us here at Pampers. Stock up - once they're gone, they're gone for good!

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Parent's Guide: Q&A - Diaper Edition (2014)

From toddlers to teens, from the first steps to the first job, our experts answer your questions on raising children. We know that you want the best for your kids - so do we! Here, you'll find answers to some of the most common parenting questions. This month, we're talking all about diapers.

Q: Our son has repeatedly refused to change his own diaper, despite the best efforts of both us and his teachers. He's about to enter the first grade, and still would rather wait until he leaks than change himself. We have tried everything we could think of, and it just isn't working. At home we've just given up and change him ourselves, but the school only helps the kids in Kindergarten, with the intent of pushing them to start doing it themselves. All his classmates are doing it, but he's still not. What do we do?

A: It is not uncommon for a child to resist the idea of changing their own diaper. No matter how much beginning to manage their own diapers may be encouraged and explained to be a necessary part of growing up, it is still something that many kids simply do not want to do. When compared to the ease of having their parents or another adult change them, is it any wonder why? One requires them to do nothing more than to lie back and let it happen, while the other is far more work. Many find it gross and disgusting to have to look at their poop, to have their hands touch it with only a wipe between them. Others find the act of wiping itself to be difficult, especially when they're messy. No matter the reason, they don't want to do it, and they'll do whatever they can to avoid having to.

However, while they may not want to, the vast majority of kids will start changing themselves before the end of Kindergarten. Between the constant encouragement of their parents and teachers, and their desire to not be left behind by their peers, it is rare for a child to reach the end of the school year still needing someone else to change them (excepting, of course, for those from wealthy families with servants, who may never learn to change themselves).

As for your son, there's several possibilities. Do you know if he has completely refused to change himself, even during the initial guided lessons that the Kindergarten teachers provide? Most kids will at least make some effort to learn before deciding they simply don't want to, which makes it much easier to get them back on track. If so, I'd recommend a softer approach: offer him rewards for changing himself, alongside stopping the practice of changing him yourself when at home if he's only wet. Make him clean up the leaks that result, and never do it for him. Either he will begin changing himself, or he will deal with the problems that comes from not doing so. Let him see just how unpleasant it is, and he'll change his tune. You know he has the capability, and that it's just a matter of his not wanting to, so make it unpleasant enough for him that he decides it's worth it after all, particularly with the promise of a reward. Once he's reliably changing his own wet diapers, do the same for messy ones: refuse to change him, and he'll either face the mess of a blowout and the pain of the rashes he'll get, or he'll start changing himself. Eventually, he'll figure out that it's not worth the trouble to not change himself.

On the other hand, if his initial lessons were a complete failure, and he's never so much as tried to change himself, then the problem is likely more complicated. I would recommend having him evaluated by a professional, to see if there may be a medical reason for his lack of willingness to change himself. If he does have a medical condition, then a doctor can provide a proper diagnosis and the documentation to send to the school so that he may receive assistance in the changing room. If not, then the doctor can recommend an appropriate course of action for you to take with him.

There are programs which claim to be able to train even the most stubborn of kids to change themselves. I would not recommend such programs, as while they may indeed be able to force your kid into changing himself, they are both expensive and abusive. Many states have already banned them, and more are expected to do so in the near future. Don't let your kid be subjected to such cruelty. Find a professional who can help him to overcome his difficulties, not one who will beat them out of him.

One final possibility exists, though it is not one that is often considered. If your son can convince enough of his peers to change him, be it via friendship or bribery, then the immediate problem will be solved. At home you'll be able to continue to change him as you currently do, and at school he'll be able to avoid having to change himself. Many schools have a group of kids who have agreed to change each other, but he'll have to be willing to change others' diapers in exchange. This is not the optimal solution, but it will at least solve the immediate problem. Whatever you do, don't let him rely on a single friend to always change him, as that can both stress the friendship and cause problems if the friend is absent or otherwise unable to assist.

Well, I suppose that's not the only option left. Assuming you're not rich enough to send him to the sort of private school where changing oneself is not expected, you could always try toilet training him! Obviously this would cause a whole host of other issues, but it is technically a solution to your problem. Not a good one, mind you, but it's a solution nonetheless. Good luck!

Q: It's getting close to time to give my daughter "the talk", and I feel like I'm mostly prepared. However, my parents were fanatics and forced me to potty train, so I don't have any experience to draw upon in regards to how her diapers will affect things. What do I need to know?

A: First, let me assure you that you've nothing to worry about. Many kids don't get any sort of sex education from their parents, instead relying upon what they learn from their friends and the internet. You're already ahead of the curve by giving your daughter the information she needs, even if it isn't complete.

That being said, there are indeed some things that she may want to know that you might not be aware of due to your upbringing. Be aware that this will not be a comprehensive guide, and only will cover the differences that may not be immediately obvious to you.

During puberty, your daughter will experience many changes as her body begins to prepare for adulthood. She will begin to grow hair in her genital area, which if not removed will cause itching and discomfort by trapping moisture and potentially causing a rash. She will also begin to menstruate, but that will actually be far less of an issue for her than it was for you: her diaper will absorb her blood just as it does her urine. She may not even realize it's happening until she changes her diaper and sees the blood there.

I'm not sure if you want to cover the subject of masturbation, but it is something that many kids will begin to experiment with during this time. A critical component of any diaper change is wiping, and she may find that doing so in a particularly sensitive manner can provide some pleasure. Since such touching is so closely adjacent to the regular act of cleaning herself, she is likely to discover it quite early. From there, she will likely progress to doing so deliberately, even when not changing her diaper. With the diaper being so effective at absorbing the resulting wetness, she may try to push the boundaries of polite behavior, thinking that nobody will notice. While the aftereffects of her masturbating will not be visible as they were for you - no need to change panties, no need to wash her hands - you may still wish to discuss the issue of boundaries with her. It is important that she knows what is and is not acceptable to do in public, and the act itself will be just as noticeable to others as it was for you. As a small tip that she'd likely figure out on her own eventually: best results are obtained when the diaper is lightly damp. Too wet and the pressure will cause it to leak, too dry and it'll chafe a bit and generally not feel as nice.

If she gets into a relationship, she may ask her partner to change her diaper for her. Many couples use the changing of a diaper as a form of foreplay, or even just outright have sex there in the changing room. Make sure she's aware of the connotations of asking her lover to change her, and how that's different from asking a friend as she might have done in the past. If she just wants to be changed without anything more, she'll want to make that clear from the start.

That's pretty much the extent of how her diapers will impact things. There's plenty of other things that you'll want to cover, but those are the ones that you should already have a handle on thanks to your own experience. Some things will have changed as society has evolved over the years, but overall the basic facts remain the same. If you have any further questions, please let us know. We're always happy to help.

Q: I know that most parents stop changing their kid's diapers before they leave elementary school, but I always enjoyed the time we spent together doing it, so after making sure that they really could do it on their own I let them know that I'd keep changing them if they wanted me to. Both my kids still have me change them quite frequently, and it's been a wonderful way to bond with them. Last week, I popped into my elder daughter's room and asked her if she wanted a change, as I often do. This time, though, she had snuck her boyfriend in with her and apparently forgot to lock the door. I didn't mind that he was there, but then he started teasing her for still having her mommy change her diaper at the age of 18, telling her that she should stop being a baby and grow up. I gave him a piece of my mind, but I'm not sure if I overreacted or not. Is it really that uncommon for older kids to still have their parents change them?

A: It's true that most kids stop getting changed by their parents by the time they're entering the first grade, and nearly all by the start of middle school. However, just because it's not the norm doesn't mean that it's necessarily a bad thing. Changing diapers is rarely an enjoyable job, and parents often prefer to have their kids do it themselves once they are capable. If both you and your daughter are fine having you change her, then I don't see any problem with it, even at her age. Make sure that she actually wants to continue, and is not just going along with it to please you or out of habit. So long as she's fully on board with it, I see no issue.

As for her boyfriend, you certainly have the right to be angry at him. While it may be true that she is an outlier compared to most of her peers, a good relationship is built upon mutual respect and acceptance. For him to embarrass your daughter for having parents that love her so much that they're willing to change her diaper for her even after it's no longer necessary, that's not right. If he cannot treat her with the respect she deserves, then he isn't worth yours either. If he cannot accept her for who she is, then he isn't worth your daughter's time. It would be one thing to gently point out that she is outside of the norm, but quite another to ridicule her for it. I'm glad you stood up to him, and I hope your daughter understands why you did so and leaves him behind. She deserves better.

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Page 1 of An Alternative Analysis of Jonathan Swift's Famous Proposal (Oxford student, Graduate thesis draft, 2017)

Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal is often cited as being among the most influential works of his time, of having changed the course of history. His proposal that young ladies should wear nappies until marriage was adopted by the nobility almost immediately, and within a few short decades, nearly all young ladies of high society were wearing nappies - a practice that has since become the norm not just among unmarried ladies, but also among all ages, genders, and classes of western society, and increasingly across the world.

However, while his words are widely respected, few have read his other works, and those who do are less than impressed by them. They are often dismissed as being jokes, mere satirical jabs at those he disagreed with. And yet, a careful examination of his most famous work reveals surprisingly many similarities between it and his prior writings. Indeed, I contend that A Modest Proposal was in fact originally intended to be as much a satire as they were. It was not meant to be taken seriously, but rather as a way to poke fun at those who were so concerned with the behavior of those young women.

This is seemingly contradicted by the fact that Swift himself confirmed that it was written in all seriousness; but all interviews and correspondence indicating this were written well after it had already been widely adopted and Swift had received much praise and many gifts for it. What man would turn down such riches and recognition by denouncing his own work as a joke?

To ascertain whether or not Swift originally intended for his work to be taken seriously, we must not rely upon his later words; but instead, must examine the text itself, his prior works, and the cultural context in which it was written.

The latter is perhaps the most important to understand. At the time, it was widely accepted that everyone would be trained to use the toilet from an early age. This was seen as being an important part of growing up, and was something that all toddlers were expected to do. The idea of an older person needing to wear a nappy was so absurd that even A Modest Proposal itself assumed that the ladies involved would be able to easily transition away from them without issue once married!

The intent of his proposal was to mock the overzealous efforts of those who were seeking to eliminate immoral behavior by infantilizing these maturing women. By suggesting that they should be made wear nappies, he was comparing the efforts of these moral guardians to limit the young ladies' activities to be the equivalent of treating them like infants incapable of controlling themselves. Some of the proposals would have trapped the girls in little more than a gilded cage, not trusting them to do anything without constant supervision - just as one would never trust a baby on its own for any length of time.

Arguing for their own proposals, those moralists would oftentimes follow the classic politician's syllogism: "We must do something. This is something. Therefore, we must do this." Swift's proposal was meant to mock that reasoning by taking it to its extreme conclusion. He provided something, and claimed that any who rejected it must be a hidebound reactionary unwilling to change with the times - that to reject his proposal would be to reject the very notion of progress itself. An argument that can apply to any proposal, no matter how ridiculous, and therefore served to highlight the absurdity of that way of thinking.

In a letter written by Swift two years before he penned A Modest Proposal, he expressed his annoyance with the growing tendency of those who claimed to be fighting for the good of society by <...>

Advisor's Notes: Well, this is certainly the most controversial thesis I've ever seen in the field of historical literature. You've crafted a surprisingly compelling argument for such a ludicrous premise. By the end I almost believed it myself! Almost.

On a purely technical level, it's a well-written and thoroughly researched paper. I can't see any major issues with it - though see my attached comments for some minor suggestions. However, I must admit that on a personal level, I have a difficult time taking it seriously. The idea itself is so... well, so utterly ridiculous, that I simply cannot imagine it to be true. Especially given that it is in direct opposition to the words of the author himself, even if they were written years later.

That said, it is not my job to pass judgment upon your conclusions. Rather, I am here to ensure that they are adequately supported. And you have indeed done so. I do hope that you are prepared for the backlash that publishing this will no doubt generate. Wishing you the best of luck; you'll need it.