Chapter Text
Nov 8th, 1976.
Regulus
-
Regulus would compare hanging out with Barty with kidnapping pretty easily. It was the same sort of premise. Regulus would be walking to or from class on his own, and then suddenly, as if appearing out of thin air, Barty would come up behind him, swinging an arm around him and drag him off regardless of how much he tried to protest.
He had been leaving history this time when Barty struck. Barty had been skipping history with Evan most likely, and now with Regulus who had been whisked away after being spotted on his way to the lavatory.
Regulus couldn't decide if the worst part was the silence or the manhandling. One tight arm hugged around Regulus' shoulders and zero explanation as Barty strutted them both through the halls.
Once Regulus had finally realized where they were going, they were halfway across the school heading in the direction of the kitchens. Evan was already there when both he and Barty finally rounded the corner that lead to the kitchen entry.
“That doesn’t look like much of a key.” Evan stated when he saw Barty holding Regulus. Barty let go of Regulus and pulled a key ring from his bag.
“Stole it right off of Filch's belt, guys an idiot.” Barty responded, shaking the keys before tossing them to Evan who opened the kitchen door which was clearly labelled ‘staff only’.
“I’m sorry, what is happening right now?” Regulus asked as Evan and Barty entered the kitchen.
“We're stealing cutlery.” Evan answered, pushing the door open, gesturing for him and Barty to enter.
“Specifically knives, fucking Sprout stole my switchblade.” Barty added, walking through into the kitchen.
“I would have gone for garden sheers since Sprout’s always in the garden, but it wouldn't do much as a weapon.”
“Okay but why now and why do I have to be here?” Regulus questioned, following them into the kitchen. It was a large kitchen, quite nice too. It was also shockingly empty, which was strange since lunch was in only a few minutes.
“Well we’ve been observing the kitchens for about an hour since you can hear what happens inside through the vents a floor above in the mail room, and always right before meals there's no staff. Assuming because they all have to set the tables, leaving the kitchen empty and we can break in without being seen.” Barty explained whilst looking through various drawers.
“Why not just go at night?” Regulus wondered.
“We needed Filch's keys. He’s not out all too late and he’d notice they were gone before we got to do anything if we took them day of and then waited.” Evan clarified as he began rooting through the numerous drawers and cupboards lining the walls.
“Okay, but back onto what you said earlier, why were you in the mail room and why do I have to be here?” Regulus continued, growing increasingly annoyed as the pair discovered a large drawer of knives.
“We were reading people's mail.” Evan answered with a smile.
“And you’re here.” Barty started, pausing to hold up a knife and inspect it as if it were some kind of precious metal, “‘cus I saw you in the hall and thought ‘oh it’s Regulus’.” He finished, looking at Regulus with a smirk and pocketing the knife. Regulus glared at him.
Regulus, now with confirmation that he hadn’t needed to be there, left, which would have been more of a pronunciation of his annoyance if the other two didn’t follow him out to escape the returning kitchen staff who had finished setting out the food. This of course annoyed Regulus to a greater extent because it meant he wouldn't even be able to make it back to class before lunch started, and was now instead either to head to lunch and just wait for Dorcas and Pandora, or follow Barty and Evan. He ended up following the boys, already too far into their shenanigans to make leaving worth it.
Barty and Evan did not seem to have any plans to go to lunch, which was apparently fine since Evan had stolen a bag of granola, an odd steal to say the least, but at least he was eating so who was Regulus to complain.
The first thing that the three of them had to do was ditch Filch's keys, which was easy enough. Between Barty's and Evans fighting over what do with them, Regulus was able to just take them back and throw them down a corridor, pretending that Filch had dropped them before leading the still fighting Barty and Evan down a couple halls and up a flight of stairs before informing them the keys were disposed of with ease.
Aside from that they just walked around, talked about classes and what not. Regulus was always intrigued by Barty's intelligence, he went to class less and less each week, and still seemed to know about whatever they were learning, Regulus suspected Evan relayed some information to him since he was in class most of the time, but Barty seemed to have no gaps in his knowledge.
This either meant that Evan was an absolute brilliant teacher, or Barty did his own research. The thought of Barty doing his own research was even more shocking since he had once told Regulus that the only thing he used the library for was a hiding spot from Lucius Malfoy and his gang, who had been after Barty since he nicked some of the bastards' hair off.
Speaking of people who are after Barty, Mulciber and his group– who had recently expanded, now supporting the fourth boy in their dorms who seemed to have gotten over his reservation to being a dick– were now rounding the corner. A horrid sight both in nature and in general.
Despite the fact that they were first years, Mulciber and his crew had immediately been welcomed into the Slytherin prat society, as Regulus had heard Dorcas call it. Each year of Slytherin's always seemed to contain most of the self-absorbed generational wealth families that came from a long line of prejudiced arseholes, a group Regulus would have probably been forced into had he been a bit more conforming to what his parents desired.
He would bet money that if things had been a bit different, he probably would have found himself standing next to them instead of Snape, who they had clearly taken under their wing as a charity offering.
Barty and Regulus were in the same boat in that regard. Both came from the sort of high-end rich families that Slytherin usually cultivated, but instead of following in their footsteps, they took to being a bit different. Barty because he hated his father and seemed to be a tad bit insane, and Regulus because of his understanding that if those guys knew anything about him, he would probably be tormented relentlessly. Evan was lucky to have more eccentric parents, even if they were a little strange.
Regulus knew there were certain hostilities between both groups, and hoped despite that neither would act out, this of course did not happen.
“See here now is a group of people you wouldn't want to hang out with.” Mulciber informed Wilkes who nodded with a snort.
“Maybe replace wouldn’t with couldn't. I don't think any of us would want to be hanging around him.” Evan retorted.
“You think you're better than me?” Wilkes challenged, straightening his back to make his thin frame seem bigger. Wilkes was probably the scariest one of their group if Regulus actually thought about it, he didn’t look all too muscly, but there was just something about his hollow face that was unnerving.
“Mate I think the fish in the common room are better than you if I’m being honest.” Evan laughed.
“Fuck you Rosier, act all tough and shite, but you're just as weak and dainty as your sister.” Avery mocked with a sneer, pushing past Wilkes and Mulciber to get closer to where Evan stood.
“Not much of an insult, Dora's got some freakish strength on her.” Barty quipped, if Regulus hadn’t been as observant as he was, he would likely not have noticed how Barty immediately moved one of his hands to Evans back at the mention of Pandora, which seemed to have made Evan go tense.
“Well something about her’s freakish, that's for sure.” Snape muttered.
“Pissed off ‘cus it’s been less than a month and yet your girlfriend already likes her more than you?” Regulus questioned, earning a rather sharp glare from Snape.
“Who can blame her really, she saw someone who actually showers and immediately jumped ship!” Barty added, laughing hysterically.
“I think Evans just feels bad for that freak.” Avery spat, it didn’t seem to make Snape look much happier.
“Oh what, it’s a pattern of hers? Since that’s what she's doing with you?” Evan asked, walking forward and pointing viciously at Snape.
“I reckon you’re just jealous since the only girlfriends you can get are each other. Tell me, how’s it feel to be constantly up each other's arses?” Mulciber cackled.
“Is having genuine friends so abysmally abnormal to you that have to assume we're fucking? Quite sad mate.” Barty replied. He had long since begun digging around his bag, which worried Regulus since the only thing he knew for sure was in there was a couple of kitchen knives and a lighter.
“You don’t seem all too bothered by the implication of fucking each other, don’t tell me it’s true?” Snape observed with a disgusted look on his face.
“Rather them than you.” Barty whispered, leaning into Evan a bit, probably to be heard better, but it didn’t support an objection.
“I mean we didn’t bring up how quick you were to assume that, kind of makes it seems like you're the ones fucking each other.” Evan suggested, talking over Barty's implicating comment, the other boys looked disgusted.
“It’d make sense since Snape’s clearly not getting any from his girlfriend.” Regulus added, looking at Barty and Evan who laughed at his comment.
“Unlike you lot, we're not a bunch of fucking poofs.” Wilkes retorted with little effect.
“Says who, I mean Mulciber and Snape already look like sissies, who's to say they don’t take it a step further.” Barty suggested with a comical shrug.
“They may look sissies, but I mean you and Rosier act like a whole bloody couple, fucking disgusting, and Black looks more like a girl than either of these two.” Avery spat, earning glares from Mulciber and Snape who were clearly pissed that Avery practically agreed they both looked like girls.
Regulus was also glaring for just about the same reason, he hated being compared to a girl. He hated that it was probably true, it was a sentiment that made him feel disoriented. Regulus chose not to participate in the rest of the argument, he knew if he spoke again his emotions would be far too present in his voice, which would surely mess with his delivery.
Regulus prided himself with being rational, calculative. He was like his mother, but as soon as anything feminine was brought up he was immediately ousted with a lack of emotional control. It was one of the first things that had ever gotten him in trouble.
As a kid he could typically reason his way out of things with one little exception. Family photos had always required him to wear a hideous dress, and even before he had realized he was a boy he had hated it.
Typically, if his mother insisted on something he would give in, or he would argue with some kind of factual evidence, but when she told him to wear those stupid dresses he had always just burst out into tears and had a fit. Every year they'd get one and every year he would put up a fit until his mother came up with a punishment, increasing severity each year until he stopped. It was better to hold his tongue than to argue on a subject he was bound to lose control of.
Obviously this situation was different, but it was the same sort of whiney behaviour that would get him found out. If he had argued it would be completely emotional and completely revealing. If he didn’t, then he just had to boil in his own compliance– a skill he had mastered.
Regulus was caught up in his thoughts when he was yanked down the hall. Apparently he had missed the rest of the argument. He was a bit too aggressive in tearing his arm away from Evan's hand, which had been dragging him down the hall. Both groups seeming to have had enough and storming down to either end petulantly.
“You good Reg?” Evan asked. Regulus nodded, he was a couple paces ahead so he made to embellish his movements.
“You sure? You seem a bit… off.” Evan continued to push, running a bit to keep up with Regulus’ increasing pace.
“I’m annoyed, not all of us like starting arguments.” Regulus snapped.
“Geez, no need to lash out.” Barty muttered.
“I’m not lashing out, I'm just-.” Regulus cut himself off, continuing to speed up in an attempt to lose, or at least shut the other two up.
“Just what?” Barty quipped a little rudely, quickly catching up to Regulus.
“Just nothing!” Regulus answered, turning on his heels and stopping. He used a nearby wall to slide himself onto the floor, this wasn't something he wanted to deal with right now, or ever.
“C’mon you can’t let what those prats say get to you, they're idiots.” Evan offered, lowering himself down to sit with Regulus. His voice was softer than whatever Barty's tone was.
“It’s not– it’s different, I can ignore it for the most part, it's just some things are worse!” Regulus attempted to explain. It was hard to say much about why being compared to a girl would be as hurtful as it was without actually telling them he was trans which he hadn't intended to do. It would only make things worse if more people knew, even just Dorcas knowing still caused him a great deal of unease.
“Worse! Everything they say is worse, that doesn’t mean anything!” Barty yelled. He remained standing, towering uncomfortable above Regulus and Evan.
“It does!” Regulus yelled back.
“Regulus do you think either of us like what they call us? Obviously not! But it’s not like that’s going to stop it, just ignore it.” Evan stipulated.
“It’s not like it’s true.” Barty added.
“It is true though! That's the point!” Regulus responded carelessly. He stopped himself before he could say much more but looking at Barty and Evan face clued him in to the fact it was probably already too late.
“What’s true?” Barty questioned as if asking a child, “If it's that you’re queer you know neither of us would care! I mean we keep Dorcas and she’s banged more women than the lot of us.”
“No! What no! I’m not fucking queer! It’s-” Regulus clarified, he was just as shocked as Barty seemed to be at the suggestion “It’s hard to talk about.”
“Okay well either talk about it or stop fucking sulking ‘cus it’s annoying.” Barty replied. He had crossed his arms, a likely subconscious action that made him look rather childish.
“Whatever it is, you know we won’t care, Reg, I mean we hang out with Barty and he’s a basket case, what could be worse than that.” Evan comforted, though Barty didn’t seem all too pleased with the statement, yanking a chunk of Evans hair which earned him a loud yelp from Evan. Regulus stared at them for a minute before deciding what he should say.
“Avery said I looked like a girl and I hated it.” He stated calmly, a poor start apparently since Barty immediately chimed in.
“Mate if an insult that simple works you up that bad then you’ve got a hard life coming for you.” he sighed.
“It’s different for me, it's because it’s not technically wrong because from a completely technical standpoint I was kind of born a girl.” Regulus explained, rushing the last part.
“Like a snail?” Evan asked after a minute.
“No, what? Like, I was a girl biologically, but I am a boy and I know that, and having people remind me that I still look like a girl hurts.” Regulus continued, both Barty and Evan looked confused, Regulus sighed.
“So is that why your mother addresses you by the wrong name in all your letters?” Evan asked.
“So do you have like girls bits?” Barty asked at the same time.
“Yes that’s why my mother calls me a different name, and I don’t appreciate you going through my mail, and Barty if you ever ask me that again I will cut your dick off with your own knife.” Regulus answered. “You're seriously not bothered by this?”
“Why would we be?” Evan asked, seriously too, which was genuinely sweet.
“I mean it’s not really something people are typically very accepting about. I can’t tell my mother because she’d tell me I’m going against go and nature and whatever.” Regulus stated. He knew that’s what she’d think because it was one of the first things he had thought when he finally let himself accept he was a boy.
It was a delicate period of time because Sirius had just started establishing himself as the rule breaker, which his mother despised and whenever she’d remark on his ‘devilish behaviours’ Regulus would often end up worrying about what she’d say about him had she known.
“It’s not that big of a deal though.” Barty sighed.
“My mother always said we should just be who we are- she meant it in more of a let's meditate on rocks in the woods way, but her point still stands.” Evan added as got of the floor.
“Oh.” Regulus replied. “I feel like I need you two to be less accepting of this, I’m going to cry or something. That would be mortifying.”
“Don’t cry, I'd like to keep my image of you less than human.” Barty implored. Evan stomped on his foot.
“Maybe stop being so nice then, it’s ruining my less than human views of you!” Regulus retorted, dusting off his uniform as he joined the others standing.
“Nice! I just asked you if you had a fanny!” Barty cried.
“It was nice in context!” Regulus yelled back.
“Okay let's not yell, we’ve got to go to class or lunch or something.” Evan instructed, hooking onto Barty's arm and motioning for Regulus to come follow. T
hey ended up sitting in one of the bay windows further into the second floor, only dispersing when the influx of students could be seen rushing to their afternoon classes. Regulus, despite his disdain for ballet, found himself quite comfortable in his own skin, even in the tight uniform that stuck to his skin with the sweat that pooled from the thick sweater he still wore.
Nov 14th, 1967.
-
Regulus had yet to become accustomed to waking up anytime past six, even on weekends he would get up early and pass the time with books or whatever else he had on hand. He liked waking up early too, it was interesting to see how each of his roommates acted in the morning.
Evan woke up around seven, he always went to the bathroom immediately, always taking his clothes and coming out dressed, before spending his morning revising and editing for his English class. Barty woke up at seven thirty, and woke up is a generous term since it was more Evan who did the waking, he would drag Barty off his bed, which typically worked and if not he would get a cup of water and dump it on him which always worked.
Evan showered in the evening, but Barty did it in the mornings, and between that and his mysterious morning routine he would take about a half hour locked in the bathroom, coming out completely dressed and then head down to the Great Hall with Regulus and Evan around eight.
Roman, from what Regulus had seen, would get up at eight thirty, get dressed, and head to breakfast to grab something, then go pretty much straight to class. Regulus had also noticed that occasionally he would stay out all night, probably staying with Kathrine Deacon, a second year in Hufflepuff who Regulus had recently come to realize he was dating. Tragically this morning Roman had woken earlier than usual, this was unfortunate since Barty took to making a scene.
“Evan I do not need to wake up before nine on a fucking weekend!” Barty yelled, wet haired and pissed off.
“Yes you do! You’re going to miss breakfast and you know how hard waking you up is when you fall out of routine!” Evan yelled back, splashing the remaining water he had in his water bottle on Barty's face.
“It’s one day! Fuck man, it’s Sunday! I want to sleep!” Barty whined, pacing around the room, and more specifically around Evan who was standing right in the centre of the floor.
“You wouldn't have to get up early if you could get yourself up, but if I don’t get you up at the same time every morning you’ll sleep in, and then you won’t sleep the next night and then you’ll be tired and then you’ll sleep more and on and on!” Evan explained, stopping Barty mid-step to make sure he was looking at him.
“I’m not a child Evan!”
“You are!” Evan responded. “You’re a sixteen-year-old fucking baby who can’t self regulate to save a life! My life! You think I want to have to wake you up every morning? No! It’s a nightmare!” Evan yelled.
“No one said you had too! You just do it ‘cus you think I need all this-” Barty started only to be interrupted by Roman, who had previously made it known he was not a fan of Barty or Evan one bit.
“Can you both shut the fuck up! Or argue in the hall! It’s early and I am sleeping, even if neither of you are!” Roman cried from behind his curtains. Barty, quick to argue always, almost immediately went to retaliate with his united front of Evan who looked equally annoyed by Romans very reasonable request. Regulus thankfully intervened for himself more than for Roman, he too didn’t want to listen to any more shouting. Regulus pulled them into the hall by the bases of their shirts, a cruel act apparently since they both accused him of choking them afterwards.
He chose to follow Evan after the twos fighting, which continued all though breakfast and led to them being yelled at by Dorcas to ‘take some time and cool off’. Pandora went with him, or he went with her; she probably would have followed Evan anyway. Dorcas had gone after Barty, it was the best choice since she was much more experienced with his tempers.
They ended up in the astronomy tower, Evan hadn’t actually been the one to decide their destination, halfway through his storm-off Pandora skipped her way in front of him, changing the direction which both Evan and Regulus followed. Pandora loved the astronomy tower, she said liked looking down at students from it when Regulus asked.
Pandora leaned over the edge with little regard for her safety, doing her best to lean over as far as she could. Evan had snuck a grasp into the back hem of her sweater, the loose one with white flowers on a knit purple backdrop she had been wearing for the past couple weekends to stave off the new cold weather. Regulus stood next to them leaned out a bit but not nearly to the extent of Pandora.
Evan and Pandora had the same face as they looked over the edge of the railing, they looked almost uninterested unless you looked at their eyes, which were transfixed on the ground below. The Rosier twins were shockingly similar once you looked past their differences. They talked the same words with the same candour, they had the same face, same skin, same hair, but it was more than that. They were odd in the same ways, they were comforting in the same ways, and even if they were saying different words and making different expressions, they had the same confidence and the same morals, it was almost uncanny.
The biggest difference, Regulus thinks, the thing that truly set them apart, was Barty. Barty made Evan impulsive and harsh where Pandora remained soft and decisive.
Regulus knows Barty is what sets apart Evan from Pandora because he saw the same thing happen to him and Sirius. James Potter was what set Sirius apart from Regulus. After Potter came into Sirius’ life he had changed, all those places where he and Sirius were the same changed, the darker places that they had suffered through together changed. Potter had given Sirius a light, something to strive for and Regulus hated it. Seeing how Evan and Pandora turned out made it worse.
Pandora pushed herself off the railing and back onto the floor of the tower. Evan quickly moved his arm away before she could crash into it. “Ev are you and Barty really fighting?” she questioned, the wind blew her hair over her face causing her to pull it back.
“What?” Evan asked.
“You fight sometimes, you fight a lot, but you usually fizzle out after a couple minutes and you’ve been going through the whole breakfast! You stormed off first! That’s what he always does so if you're doing it, it means you're mad not him, which means you’re probably really fighting- more so than usual.” Pandora explained.
“They were fighting through breakfast too, and last night actually.” Regulus added, looking back at them from where he had been leaning against the railing.
“He’s just being a prick.” Evan stated.
“He’s always being a prick, that doesn’t say much.” Pandora sighed. Evan was sitting now, leaned next to Regulus on the railing.
“He’s mad that I do things for him, thinks it means I think he’s an idiot who can’t function on his own, he complains that I do things with him because I think he’s going to get himself killed or something if I don’t and he thinks I remind to do things, and wake him up, and give him my notes, and all that because I feel compelled to. It’s stupid and he knows it’s not true, but he’s been acting like an arsehole about it.” Evan explained.
“Tell him that.” Regulus suggested.
“I have! He just won’t listen and it makes me mad and then I get worked up and yell and I don’t want to talk about it at all.” Evan whined.
“Just tell him he’s being stupid or something, he's not usually this dense.” Pandora pushed.
“Mulciber and his group have been worse recently, I think it’s been getting to him.” Evan sighed.
“I’ll talk to him then.” Pandora offered and then after going unopposed for a couple seconds left.
“No, don't go.” Evan said to the now gone Pandora, more of a joke then a request since she was gone.
“You want to help me write a letter to my mother.” Regulus asked, veering the conversation to a new subject.
“What?”
“You said you didn’t want to talk about it. Do you want to help me write to my mother instead?” Regulus repeated. Evan stared at him for a couple seconds, clearly confused, before answering.
“I guess.”
Regulus nodded and then pulled a pad of paper from his bag and tossed it towards Evan who just barely caught it.
“All I need is some help with wording, I’ve been putting off telling her I haven't let my hair grow out and I have to tell her before winter break, but I can’t tell her right before because then she’ll accuse me of lying to her and I didn’t want to do it earlier because it’s a… sore? Subject. I figured if anyone could help it would be you.” Regulus explained to Evan who nodded along. Regulus slumped down so he would be sitting next to Evan and took the paper back out of Evan's hands.
“I don’t know how to broach the subject and I may be good at getting what I want from her, arguably she’s become softer since my brother left, maybe not, but I digress, I don’t know how to convincingly tell her in a way that proposes it as a good idea.”
“Do you have an excuse? Short hair is arguably a pretty popular style right now, but you could also go the ‘my friends cut it in my sleep’ route.” Evan suggested.
“We could blame some random student. I’ve heard that someone broke into Ravenclaw, said whoever it was stole a lamp.” Regulus offered.
“Oh I heard one of the tables got stolen from Hufflepuff.” Evan added.
“I doubt my mother would believe that, she’s probably one of the most intelligent people I know.” Regulus said with a sigh.
“High praise coming from you. We could say it gets in the way of ballet, if it’s something she really wants you to do she’d probably want you to have the best chances of doing well.” Evan proposed, taking the pen and paper back and righting a list of the possible reasons.
“The ballet one's good, I was going to scapegoat Sirius too, ‘if I grow it out we look too similar and do we really want me looking like him?’” Regulus responded. He watched Evan scrawl out ‘Sirius’ in his messy cursive. “The reasoning isn’t the problem though, it’s the way I convey it, and since you are a good writer you could help.” Evan smiled as Regulus spoke.
“I can do my best, if you really want guaranteed good work you should talk to Bones or maybe Mather, they’re both topping the class right now.” Evan replied sheepishly. Regulus had noticed how Evan had come to act when it came to his writing.
Regulus knew he enjoyed the class and that he enjoyed writing, but he also knew how much he downplayed those to things. He would tell Pandora he was here because she was, not because he liked writing. He would tell Barty he didn’t actually want to be a writer or anything,it was just the most convenient choice. Anytime Dorcas complimented his work he’d cite whoever edited it or ask her to stop placating him.
Regulus found it annoying. He was here for something that he was passionate about and he just up and lied about it, like it was nothing. Regulus hated it.
“Yes, I’ll go trust two random people from your writing class with my most important secret, why don’t I just get Skeeter in it, she’s a good writer and I’m sure she won’t put it in her gossip column.” Regulus said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Evan frowned at him.
Evan ended up writing him a decent argument, better than one he could write at least. They ended up writing about Sirius, Regulus saying he cut it to separate them and then found it beneficial in his dance. Regulus made sure none of the writing was too emotional, it was not something his mother reacted too.
Evan ended up leaving before Regulus, who was fitting the argument into the rest of the letter. It was nice all alone on the astronomy tower. Pandora came back with lunch for him, but she didn’t stay.
Barty came by some time after the sun started to set. He was looking for Evan most likely though he had missed him by a couple hours. “Still haven't apologized?” Regulus asked when faced with Barty's somewhat frantic face.
“Shut up?” Barty responded he sounded annoyed. “He's up here?” he added.
“He was.” Regulus answered. “You missed him by several hours.”
“Well if he’s not here he’s avoiding me then.” Barty sighed, sliding down to sit next to Regulus.
“Why would he be avoiding you?” Regulus questioned looking up from his paper, his letter now replaced with homework they had been left for the chemistry portion of science.
“I smacked him in the face when he offered me the notes from Friday's lesson.” Barty answered, taking a cigarette out of his bag and lighting it. “Wanna fag?” he asked, leaning the package to Regulus who took one cautiously.
“I suppose that’s why you have a black eye? He swung back?”
“Yep.” Barty lit the cigarette Regulus held. “You smoked before?”
“No.” Regulus answered.
“Not even a cigarette?” Barty questioned with a smirk.
“Is this not a cigarette?”
“No, it’s different, weed not nicotine.” Barty clarified.
“Don’t you have to roll those yourself?”
“Evan pre-rolls em.” Barty said, looking down at the spliff a little woefully.
“You're an idiot.” Regulus remarked and took the spliff to his lips. He felt the irritation in his lungs as soon as he inhaled, and before he could really register it, he burst out coughing. Barty was laughing hysterically smacking Regulus on the back rather violently as he choked.
“I’m not an idiot. This is your fault anyway.” Barty said after he finished laughing at Regulus.
“How is this my fault?” Regulus wheezed.
“I let fucking whatever Avery said get to me ‘cus it’s true and it's an annoying point for you to make when whatever he says about me is also true.” Barty mumbled, his eyes were mixed on the group in front of him.
“What?” Regulus asked, he had a decent idea of what he was trying to say, it just felt like it was better to let Barty say it himself.
“It’s not new shite, they’ve been saying it forever, all that shite about Evan and I acting like fucking queers.” Barty paused, taking another drag of his spliff, savouring it like it was something sacred rather than a way for him to shut up. “It’s just different when you talk about how he was right, if he was right about you then he was right about us, and if he can see that then can Evan? Hell can everyone else?”
“Christ, have you been thinking about this all week? And what? You decided distancing yourself from Evan is going to make it less obvious?” Regulus questioned.
“Is it obvious?” Barty responded, clearly taking the wrong point.
“Was I obvious, I mean to you?”
“No.”
“Then no.”
“That’s it? No? Fuck, you clearly noticed. I know Dora sees it, Dorcas too.” Barty paused looking at Regulus with sincerity that Regulus didn't know he was capable of. “I don’t want Evan to know.”
“And you think distancing yourself from him is going to make him not notice? He’s more likely to notice if he’s actively looking.”
“He’ll move on soon.”
“I know you can’t possibly believe that, I’ve only known you for a couple months and I know that's not true.” Regulus stated. Barty just stared at him for a couple before putting his head into hands.
“Fuck this is so annoying.” Barty muttered.
“You think whatever the fuck I’ve got going on isn’t? At least you can really hide it.” Regulus said through coughs after taking another hit from the spliff Barty had given him, unsure if he shouldve been feeling it by now.
“I don’t hide it though, that’s the problem.”
“Well you don’t admit it either, and there's no proof unless you fucking say so yourself, one look at me fully and it’s pretty apparent.” Regulus complained. “What do you think is going to happen if you just told him? You really think he’ll just ditch you.”
“Things’ll change.”
“Not by much, you know what will happen if I tell my mother about me?” Regulus asked rhetorically. “She’ll kick me out, or she’ll send me to some torture camp.”
“I don’t think it’s much of a comparison.” Barty pointed out, which wasn’t exactly true if you were looking at it from the person who would care the most if they were informed, it was still a loose comparison which Regulus knew.
“Because the worst thing that could happen to you is losing Evan, I could lose fucking everything.” Regulus argued.
“I think to me, Evan is everything.” Barty sighed, taking one last drag before stubbing his spliff out on the stone floor.
It made sense for him to say this, Regulus could see how true it was with how much Barty gravitated towards Evan. It was a funny thing since it looked the other way around from the outside, Evan always trailing behind Barty in his schemes but as soon as Evan started to leave Barty would turn to follow.
“Well if he acts like a dick about that then maybe he shouldn't be. It’s not like I can just move on from my mother.”
“Isn’t that what your brother did?”
“I’m not a fucking coward like him, running away isn’t moving on it’s just not facing it.” Regulus spat, he hated talking about Sirius. He wouldn't meet Barty's eyes, he had clearly lost the footing of this argument.
“He seems pretty moved on.” Barty said with a dry laugh, Regulus glared, not that Barty could see it since Regulus’s eyes were now fixed on Barty's bag.
“Fuck you I don’t want to talk about that.”
“Why not? If you can pry into my personal life I can pry into yours, ‘sides isn’t ignoring him because he doesn’t feel the same way as you the same as what I’m doing.” Barty highlighted, leaning into Regulus who finally looked back at him.
“That makes him you, not me, he was the one that ran, not me.” Regulus stated calming his face. This was not a new argument for Regulus, not to himself at least.
“Proves that no matter how much you care about someone you’ll eventually move on. I mean clearly you're not all too concerned with him anymore?”
“Me and Sirius are completely different than you and Evan.” Regulus hissed. Regulus wasn’t too sure if he believed what he was saying, but if he said it with enough force Barty probably would.
“Whatever you say.” Barty said with mock conviction. Regulus let the rest of his spliff burn out, dropping it as the ash neared his fingers. Barty got up, stomping out the rest of Regulus’ spliff before leaving. Regulus didn't follow.